LoveYourNeighbour:FindingForgivenessinRwanda

Onemansjourneyofsurvivalandredemption Mommy,wherecanwerunto? TheseheartwrenchingwordsgreetvisitorstothechildrensexhibitatKigaliGenocide MemorialCentre.Thechildwhoutteredthembeforefallingvictimtooneofthebloodiest threemonthsinhistoryisnowjustamemoryenshrinedinablackandwhitephotograph,her innocent7yearoldeyesforeverstaringoutatpassersby. Theattemptedexterminationofanentirepeoplegroupatthehandsofanotherisan unimaginablehistory. Itlookedlikethedevilhadtakencontrolofhearts,saidBishopRoseKarasanyi,anOperation ChristmasChildvolunteerinRwanda.Thespiritofdeathwashoveringoverthewholeland, evenwhereahusbandcouldkillawife,whereparentswouldkillchildren.Therewasnolife. ButthestoryofRwandadoesnotendwiththenearlyonemillionhorrificmurdersthat occurredduringthegenocideof1994.Godistransformingitintoapowerfultaleof forgiveness,withayoungRwandannamedAlexNsengimanasettinganinspirationalexample forhiscountryandpeople. NsengimanameansIpraytoGodinKinyarwanda,andAlexhascertainlyliveduptothe name.Inhis25years,Godhasguidedhisstepsalongaremarkablejourneythatincluded miraculousescapesfromdeathduringthegenocide.Italsoincludesreceivingashoeboxgift throughOperationChristmasChildagiftthathelpedbringhimtoastrongfaithinJesusand ledtothedesiretoreturntoRwandatoplantachurchandministertothepeoplewhokilled hisfamily. IwanttobebackinRwandasoIcansharetheministryofforgiveness,becausethatstheonly thingthathascontinuedtohealme,saidAlex,wholefthishomelandin2003toattendschool intheUnitedStates. InMarch,hevisitedthevillagewherehegrewup.Alexdeliveredshoeboxgiftstochildren unawareofpastdistinctionsbetweenHutuandTutsi,andwhodonotfeelthesamehatred towardtheirneighboursasthegenerationswhocamebeforethem. WeareallRwandans,saidAlex,whenaskedhowTutsivictimsareabletolivesidebyside withHutuswhoslaughteredtheirfamiliesandfriends.Wespeakonelanguage. Nearly20yearsafterthegenocide,manyRwandansareabletooverlookoldtribal,political, andeconomicdivisionsthatplayedalargepartinthewar.Butothersstillfaceadailystruggle toseemurdererswalkingfree.Thosewhokilledhusbands,wives,children,andparentsmay passvictimsfamilymembersatthemarket,school,evenchurch. WithGodsgraceandChristsexampleofforgiveness,Alexbelievesthathisnationcanbe reconciled.Duringhisvisit,Alexreinforcedhiswordswithactionsbyofferingforgiveness,in person,tothemanwhokilledhisuncle.

Whenhefacedthemanwhowasaneighbourandfriendoftheonehemurderedanduttered wordsofforgivenessandredemptionthroughJesus,aburdenhehadcarriedformanyyears liftedfromhischest. Buthisjourneytowardpeacehasnotbeeneasy. WhyMe? Eventhoughhewasjust5yearsoldonApril6,1994,Alexwillneverforgetthemorningwhen theplanecarryingRwandapresidentJuvenalHabyarimanawasshotdown. Thepresidentsdeathsparkedawaveofviolencethatcontinuedcountrywideforthreeterrible monthsandclaimednearlyamillionlives.AmongthemwereAlexsgrandmotheranduncle. Alexneverknewhisfather,andhismotherdiedofAIDSwhenhewas4.Hewasleftwithhis oldersisterandyoungerbrotherinthecareoftheirgrandmotherandtwouncles.Theylived onahillintheoutskirtsofKigali,inamudandstickhousenestledamongthecoffeetreesthe familyownedandcultivated.

Alex looks at photos of genocide victims on display at Kigali Genocide Memorial Center.

Asayoungboy,Alexsjobwastofetchwater.Likemanychildren,hewaseasilydistractedand oftenfoundhimselfsidetracked,playingfootballwithhisfriendsandrunningthroughKigalis hillsideneighbourhoodsinsteadofdoinghischores.Hisfacebrokeintoawidegrinashe recalledhisgrandmotherspittingontheground,saying:Ifyourenotbackbythetimethis dries,boyyouregoingtogetit! Thosecarefreedaysendedthemomentthegenocidestarted.Nyirabarera,hisgrandmother, wasamongthefirstTutsivictimstobetargeted. Hutumilitiastormedthehouseoneafternoon.Alex,Lillian,andtheirbrother,Fils,watched throughthewindowinhorrorwhiletheirgrandmotherwastorturedandkilled. Severaldayslateragroupofmenwithgunscamelookingforhisuncle,Karara.Alex remembersneighboursandfriendsamongthegroupthatdemandedtoseeKararasidentity card.AftercheckingthecardwithitsTutsiethniclisting,theyshothimtwice.Becausethe gunshotsdidnotkillhim,thementookalargestickandbeatKararauntilhedied.

 Whattheydidhauntedmeformany,manyyears,Alexsaid. Anotherunclebribedadditionalmilitiagroupswithbeerandfoodinexchangeforthe remainingfamilyssafety,buteventuallytheresourcesranoutandLillian,Alex,andFilswere forcedtoflee. Wepackedupeverythingandstartedwalkingtowardthecapitalcitywheremyauntandher familylived,Alexsaid. ThethreeyoungchildrenoftenhadtohideintheforestorditcheswhenlargebusesofHutu militiarumbledpastonthereddirtroads.Eventually,theyreachedtheirauntshouseinKigali andsettledin. Sleepingthroughthenightwasdifficult.Alexstruggledwithnightmaresofseeinghisfamily murdered.Bombsrattledthehouse,oftensendingshrapnelthroughthewindows,walls,and ceiling. Still,Alexslifecontinuedtobespared.Oneday,abombexplodednearbywhilehewasplaying marbleswithhisbrother.Theyquicklyhuddledtogether,andachunkofburningdebrisflew throughthesmallspacebetweentheirheads. Wealwayswonderedhowitmadeitthroughbecausethethingwasbigandhot,butitbarely missedourheads,hesaid. Alexbegantowonderwhyhekeptescapingdeathwhensomanyothershadnot. WherevertheNightWouldFindUs Eventually,thesituationbecametoovolatileandthefamilyhadtoflee. Whereverthenightwouldfindus,thatswherewewouldsleep,Alexsaid. Fornearlytwomonthstheyran,crossingthehillsaroundKigali.Explosionsfrombombsand grenadesfollowedthemeverywhere.Atonepoint,Alexgotseparatedfromtherestofhis family.Someoneopenedfireashefranticallysearchedforthem,andbulletswhizzedjust abovehishead.Oneevengrazedhishair. IalwaysliketosaythatGodhasasenseofhumour,hesaid,laughing.AsIwasrunning,I slippedinsomethingandfell.Ihadslippedinacowpat;thatswhatGodusedtosavemylife.If Hecanusethatcowpat,imaginewhatelsehecanuse. Finally,afterwhatseemedlikeyearsoflivinginterror,theRwandanPatrioticFrontforces drovetheHutumilitiaoutofKigali.Thefamilyreturnedhome,butAlexwasntabletoenjoy thesecurityforlong.Hisauntandunclefellill,andinthespringof1995AlexandFilsweresent toanearbyorphanage. FromHatredtoHope AttheGisimbaorphanage,Alexdealtwithalotofanger.Helayawakeatnight,hissleep interruptedbythecriesandscreamsof250otherchildrenwhoseliveswereturnedinto nightmaresbythewar.

Alexsgrandmotherhadsharedherfaithwithhim.Atonepoint,hewantedtoserveinthe churchpossiblyevenbecomeapriest.Butafterlivingthroughthegenocide,Alexseriously doubtedthatGodexisted. IftheresaGodwhocaresforHispeople,whywouldHeletthishappen?hewondered. Why,outofamillionpeoplewholosttheirlives,amIalivetoday? Mostdayspassedwithlittletonojoy.Untiloneday,thechildrenweretoldtheywerereceiving giftsfrompeopleinAmerica.Americaseemedlikeitwasbillionsofmilesaway.Alexcouldnt imaginesomeonetherecaringabouthim. Everyonehadtowaituntileachchildhadacolourfullywrappedshoebox.Atlast,theywere allowedtoopenthem.Alexremembersbeinginawethateverythinginsidewasforhim. IrememberthejoyIhadthatday,hesaid.Answerstothequestion,WhyamIstillalive? startedtocrystalisewhenIcomprehendedthatsomeonedidcare.

One of Alexs favorite items in his shoebox was a candy cane. At Burema Primary School in Burema, Rwanda, he loved helping the kids figure out what the candy canes were.

Hecanstillpicturethebox,alongwithmanyofitscontents.Small,multicolouredcandies Alexthoughttheyweremedicineacomb,andhisfavourite:aredandwhitestripedstick shapedlikeaj.Hecouldntfigureoutwhatthatwas,sohestuckitinhismouth.Ashebit throughtheplasticwrapping,asweetcoolingsensationfilledhismouth.Alexhadeatenhis firstcandycane. Justhavingsomethingthatwecouldcallourown,thatcouldtakeourmindsoffofwhat happenedduringthewar,remindedusthatsomeoneouttherecaredforusandwestillhad hope,hesaid. Alexheldontothehopethathisshoeboxgiftprovidedforthenextseveralyears,untilin1997 hewaschosentotourtheUnitedStatesandCanadawiththeAfricanChildrensChoir. AlongwithFilsand10otherchildrenfromhisorphanage,hewenttoUgandatolearnEnglish beforethetourbegan.TheyalsolearnedBiblestories,andAlexreadJeremiah29:11,ForI knowtheplansIhaveforyou,declarestheLORD,plansforwelfareandnotforevil,togiveyou afutureandahope.

 IstartedtoseethatGodhadtohaveaplanformylifetoo,thatHehadbeenthereallthe time,Alexsaid.IstartedtoseeallthethingsthatHeusedtosavemylifenotasa coincidence,butaspartofHisbiggerplan. Soon,whiletouringwiththechoir,hetrustedinJesusChristashisSaviour. AFamilyRestored ThetourendedandAlexreturnedtotheorphanageinKigali.Oneafternoonthreeyearslater, hewasflippingthroughphotosfromhistimeinAmerica.Onehadanaddresswrittenonthe back.ItwasforafamilyinWinona,Minnesota. OnApril28,2003,hesentthefamilyanemail.AwomannamedEllenreplied:Wevebeen wonderinghowyouaredoing? ThepairkeptintouchuntilEllenofferedtohelpsponsorAlex,Fils,andtwootherboystogoto highschoolinMinnesota. Lookingback,AlexrecognisesthehandofGodonthatnewopportunity.Hisvisawasapproved injustaweek.ThedaythathereceivedpaperworkfromthehighschoolinMinnesota,an AmericanmanwasvisitingtheorphanageandhelpedAlexfillitout. InSeptember2003,AlexjoinedtheHongerholtfamily,gaininganewmother,anotherbrother, andtwomoresisters. EllenbrushedawaytearsassherecalledthefirsttimeshesawAlexsincethetwonightshe spentinherhomeseveralyearsbefore. Alexclungtomesointensely,shesaid.HehadprayedthattheLordwouldjustgivehimone shot,andtherewasthisoneopportunityforhimtogetoutofRwanda.Thatwassointense andwonderful,andthatdayhasturnedintonineyearsofjoybeinghismother. ShebelievesthatasAlexworshipped,prayed,andsangpraisestoGodwiththeAfrican ChildrensChoir,hisheartwashealedinsuchawaythathenowspreadsChristsjoyandlove toeveryoneheencounters. BeinghismommeansbeingapartoftheharvestofsoulstowinforChrist,becauseAlexs storyandjustmeetinghimplantsaseedformanypeople,whethertheyknowitornot,she said. ReturntoRwanda AlexsexcitementbegantobuildashesteppedofftheplaneatKigaliInternationalAirportin March. Imfeelingalittlebouncy,hesaid,tryingtoexplainthefeelinginhischest.Hehadreturned toRwandabefore,leadingBiblecampsforchildreninthevillagewherehegrewupin2008and 2010.Butthistripwasdifferent. Thistime,hewasdeliveringOperationChristmasChildshoeboxesattheorphanagewherehe receivedhis18yearsago.Someoftheshoeboxeshepackedhimself,andotherswere processedintheMinneapoliswarehousewherehevolunteeredin2012.

 Hewasexcitednotonlytosharethegiftsathisformerhome,butforthepossibilityoffacing themenwhokilledhisfamilyandtoutterthewordsIforgiveyouandtellthemaboutthe loveofJesusChrist.

In one of his old bedrooms at Gisimba Memorial Center, Alex visits with boys who currently live at the orphanage as they explore the treasures in their shoebox gifts.

AlexreminiscedashewalkedthroughtheschoolyardatGisimba,overgrasswornawayinparts toexposethedarkredsoilmarkedwithtinyfootprints. Iwasstandingrightthereonthatlowwall,herecalledofthedayhegothisshoebox.He pointedtotherailingseveralfeetabovetheyardwherehestood.Receivingthatshoeboxwas justthebeginningofmyfaithstandinghereandgettingreadytohandoutotherboxes,its justamazing. Adarkcloudpassedoverhead,andthechildrenretreatedinsideaclassroomaslargeraindrops begantofallfromtheheavygreysky.Excitementintheroomwaspalpable,as200 kindergartenchildreneagerlywaitedtoopentheirgifts. Three!Two!One!Open!shoutedAlex,andjoyousshriekseruptedfrommanytinysetsof lungs.Kidsquicklypiledontohislapashelookedthroughtheirshoeboxes.Heexclaimedover eachitem,chattinginKinyarwanda,Whatdoyouhaveinthere?Letssee.Whatisthis?Yeah, itsapencil. Heexploredtheshoeboxeswithhisnewfriends,oohingandaahingovereachitem,especially hispersonalfavourite,thecandycanes.Hehelpedeachchilddiscovernewfoundtreasuresas hereflectedoverwhathisownshoeboxmeanttohim.

Alex distributes shoeboxes at the orphanage in Kigali where he grew up, Gisimba Memorial Center.

WhenIreceivedmyshoebox,IwasremindedofGodsloveformeandthehopethatIhadin Him,Alexsaid.SoIhopeandIpraythatwillbethecaseforthesekids,thatwhatevertheyre goingthroughintheirlives,theycanberemindedthatsomeoneouttherelovesthem.Butthe mostimportantthingofallisthatJesusChristlovesthemandcaresaboutthem. AlexbelievesthatthemessageofChristsloveisexemplifiedineachshoeboxgiftdeliveredtoa child,andthatOperationChristmasChildcanplayapartinreconcilingpeopleinRwandaand aroundtheworld. OperationChristmasChildhascontinuedtospreadtheGospelaroundtheworld,hesaid.I believewithoutadoubtthatitcanhaveabigpartinbringinghopeandlovetothepeopleof Rwanda,usingonesimpleboxthatcarriesapowerfulmessageofJesusChrist. FindingForgiveness Yearsago,Alexrealisedthattobetrulyfreehehadtoforgivethemenwhokilledhisfamily. Afterseveraldaysspentdistributingshoeboxesatschools,hereceivedpermissiontoenter Kigalislargestprisonandvisitthemanwhokilledhisuncle. Ashewaited,alateafternoonstormbroughttorrentsofrainandwindthatblewwater dropletsthroughtheglassslatsofthebarredprisonwindows.Itpassedquickly,leavingAlexto watchthesunsinkbelowoneofRwandasthousandhills. Momentslater,ashort,slightmanenteredtheroom.Hiselectricorangeshortstrailedfar belowhisknees,drowninghislegsamongtheirpleats.Alexsunclewouldhave,atonetime, calledtheprisonerhisfriend.AlexsatdownbesideNiyonezaAnastaseandbegantospeak.

IamAlexNsengimana,heexplainedinKinyarwanda.MyunclewasKarara.Wouldyou pleasetellmehowmyunclewaskilled? Theprisonerreachedup,hisscrawnyarmswimminginshortsleevesthatextendedfarpasthis elbows.Hegrabbedaredandwhitecheckeredsatincapoffhisheadandspoke, acknowledgingthatherememberedthatfatefulspringmorning. Itwasaround9:00a.m.Agroupofmilitiacame.Iwasnearby.Thegroupwaslookingfor Karara.Iwentwiththem.Wewenttohishouse,andfoundhim.Wekilledhimandlootedthe house.After,wedidntbothertoburyhim;welefthimoutsidehishouse.Wewenttolookfor twoothers,whowealsokilled.

Alex shakes hands with the man who killed his uncle, Niyoneza Anastase, in Nyarugenge Prison in Kigali, Rwanda.

Alextookadeepbreathandbeganagain. Imnotheretoaccuseyou,thoughyouwrongedme,butImheretodosomethingelse,Alex said,thenextwordscatchinginhisthroatashebegantocry.IamherebecauseIsawhow Godspowerworksinforgiveness.Ireceivedthatpower.Ireallywanttoforgiveyousoyou havepeaceandyoualsorepentofeverything.Iwantyoutoknowthatevenafterallthethings youdid,allthepeopleyoukilledandhurt,GodwantsyoutocomebacktoHim. ThegraceofGodwastangibleasAlexkneltsidebysidewiththemanwhobrutallybeatand murderedhisuncleandplacedhishandontheprisonersback. Father,Iprayyoullblesshim.Alexstutteredoutaprayer,overcomebyastormofemotion. IprayyourSpiritwillbewithhimandprotecthim,andhellhavethepeacethatcomes throughYou. Theystood,andacircleofAlexsfriendssurroundedthem.

Theprisonermentionedneighbouringfamilies,askingAlextobringthemtotheprisonsohe couldaskforgiveness.Finallyhebegantocryasheconfessedthatinonefamilyhekilledall exceptoneperson. Idontknowwhatcameoverus,hesaid.Wekilledeverybody.Pleaseforgiveus.WhenI thinkofwhatIdid,Ialwaysgetsick. Alexspokeagain:WhatbroughtmeherewastotellyouIhaveforgivenyoubecauseofthe graceofGod.Idonthaveanyhateinmyhearttowardyou.YoushouldalsoaskGods forgiveness. Aftermoreprayers,Alexlefttheprisonwithaspringinhisstep. Ifeellikeagreatburdenhasbeenliftedoffofmychest,hesaid.ThemomentIgavemylife toChrist,itbecamemydreamtomeethimfacetofaceandforgivehim. Forgivenessisnotforgettingthewrongdoneagainstyou,Alexsaid,butrememberingandin remembering,findinghealingandpeacebylookingbackandrecognisingwhatGodhasdone. Youwillhavetogobacktothoseunpleasantmemories,butintheendyouwillhavepeace thatonlyChristcanprovide,Alexsaid. AFutureandaHope InMay,AlexgraduatedfromCrossroadsCollege,aChristianschoolinRochester,Minnesota, withadegreeinPastoralLeadership.HehopestoplantachurchinRwanda,ideallyontheland wherehisgrandmothershousestood.

Alex and his remaining uncle, Rusanganwa, embrace next to a garden planted on the land where their house used to stand in Butamwa, Rwanda.

HedoesntknowwhenhewillbeabletoreturntoRwanda,butinthemeantimehetravels withOperationChristmasChild,sharinghistestimonyofhowtheLordredeemedhisloss.

 Alexhasacallonhislife,Ellensaid.Idontknowwhatitwillbe,Ijustknowitwillbe extraordinary.Theresnowaythatheisnotgoingtoimpactourworldsignificantly,somehow. HehasntreallyevenstartedtounfoldallofwhattheLordhasforhimyet,soitsavery beautiful,beautifulstorytowatch.