Professional Documents
Culture Documents
indd i
15/11/2013 12:28:53
PRC-Scibd.indd ii
15/11/2013 12:30:10
Parenting
Raising Your Child in Ireland Today
John Lonergan
PRC-Scibd.indd iii
15/11/2013 12:30:11
PRC-Scibd.indd v
15/11/2013 12:30:14
Foreword
vii
PRC-Scibd.indd vii
15/11/2013 12:30:14
Foreword
viii
PRC-Scibd.indd viii
15/11/2013 12:30:14
Foreword
CEO
Barnardos Ireland
Director
Barnardos Northern Ireland
ix
PRC-Scibd.indd ix
15/11/2013 12:30:15
Acknowledgements
Thanks to all the primary and secondary school parent associations all over Ireland who, over many years, invited me to
share my parenting experience and philosophy with them.
This in turn has provided me with much of the material for
this book.
Thanks to all the secondary schools and colleges throughout the country for giving me the great opportunity of
talking with thousands of students and exchanging views
and experiences with them, again over many years. Special
thanks to all the students for contributing to so many
discussions and debates during my school visits. Their
contributions have helped me to develop a better insight
into how young people in Ireland cope with the many challenges they face day in, day out and, most importantly, how
we as parents can help and support them.
Thanks to my daughters, Sinad and Marie, for making
me reflect time and time again on the views and opinions I
held on many issues. They helped me in no small way to
realise that parenting is a two-way learning process.
Thanks to Fergus Finlay, Chief Executive of Barnardos
Ireland, and Lynda Wilson, Director of Barnardos Northern
Ireland, for writing the foreword and for allowing me to
donate the royalties from the book to Barnardos.
A very special thanks to Eileen OBrien, editor of Orpen
Press, for all her expertise, patience and support during this
whole process. Also, thanks to Elizabeth Brennan, who
worked as editor during the early stages of the book, for all
her support and encouragement.
x
PRC-Scibd.indd x
15/11/2013 12:30:16
Contents
1
2
4
8
9
10
13
15
2. Communication ...............................................................
Obstacles to Honest Communication................................
The Family China ...................................................................
The Value of Chatting .........................................................
Keeping the Lines of Communication Open....................
More about Listening ..........................................................
When You Become an Embarrassment to Your
Teenager .............................................................................
17
21
21
25
29
32
3. Nurturing Self-Confidence............................................
Compliments, Criticism and Self-Confidence .................
Things Not to Say to Your Child .......................................
Two Approaches to Discipline ................................................
Losing Your Temper ............................................................
37
38
41
45
48
34
xi
PRC-Scibd.indd xi
15/11/2013 12:30:16
Contents
49
49
51
55
58
58
60
5. Bullying............................................................................. 65
What Is Bullying? ................................................................. 66
Consequences of Bullying ...................................................... 69
Bullying v Teasing ............................................................... 69
Common Forms of Bullying ............................................... 70
Cyberbullying ....................................................................... 72
Bullying and Silence ............................................................ 76
Why Do Children Bully? ..................................................... 78
Bullying Traits to Watch Out For ......................................... 80
What Type of Child Is Likely to Be Bullied? .................... 81
Signs that Your Child Is Being Bullied ............................. 83
Proving a Case of Bullying ................................................. 84
What Should You Do if You Suspect Your Child Is
Being Bullied? .................................................................. 87
What if Your Child Is the Bully? ........................................ 96
Conclusion ............................................................................ 101
6. Underage Drinking.........................................................
Underage Drinking in Ireland Today ...............................
Effects of Alcohol on Teenagers .........................................
What Do Teenagers Drink and Where Do They Get
Their Alcohol From? ........................................................
The Free Gaff ........................................................................
Why Do Teenagers Drink?..................................................
How Should You Deal with Your Childs Underage
Drinking? ...........................................................................
Conclusion ............................................................................
103
103
105
107
108
109
112
114
xii
PRC-Scibd.indd xii
15/11/2013 12:30:16
Contents
7. Drugs An Introduction................................................
Ecstasy ..................................................................................
Cannabis ...............................................................................
Cocaine .................................................................................
Heroin ....................................................................................
Amphetamine .......................................................................
LSD .........................................................................................
Sedatives and Tranquillisers .............................................
Solvents..................................................................................
Magic Mushrooms ...............................................................
Drugs Terminology ................................................................
117
119
120
122
123
126
128
129
130
130
131
133
134
136
137
139
139
144
9. Suicide ...............................................................................
Why Do Young People Decide to End Their Lives
by Suicide? ........................................................................
Myths about Suicide ...............................................................
What Are the Signs of Suicidal Thought? ........................
What Should You Do if You Think Your Child Is
Suicidal? .............................................................................
Providing a Safe Listening Environment .........................
Suicide A Problem for Society? .......................................
147
148
149
152
154
157
158
161
162
166
167
169
xiii
PRC-Scibd.indd xiii
15/11/2013 12:30:16
Contents
172
173
175
175
176
179
182
183
184
188
188
191
191
195
195
196
197
198
202
203
xiv
PRC-Scibd.indd xiv
15/11/2013 12:30:16
Barnardos in Ireland
xv
PRC-Scibd.indd xv
15/11/2013 12:30:16
Barnardos in Ireland
xvi
PRC-Scibd.indd xvi
15/11/2013 12:30:16
xvii
PRC-Scibd.indd xvii
15/11/2013 12:30:17
xviii
PRC-Scibd.indd xviii
15/11/2013 12:30:17
PRC-Scibd.indd 1
15/11/2013 12:30:17