Midnight Memories One Direction {TRACK BY TRACK REVIEW///NOT INCLUDING BONUS SONGS} 1.

. Little Black Dress I would rather strangle myself WITH a little black dress than listen to this again, but I did (listen to itnot strangle myself). It sounds like a middle-aged, mullet-haired pedophile clothed in acid wash bell bottoms rose from the early 90s to perform a song in his garage. As the song progressed it sounds like its been mixed with That 70s Show and it sounds like people are being mugged and shot in an alleyway in the background (literally, was this recorded in Harlem?; shoot me too because this song is awful). Seems like they are trying to sound like the kind of music dad listens to (their fans are teenage girls, not fathers looking for a throwback). The song has vague rock-y Beatles vibes (not in a good way). They are essentially in unison for the entire song (is this Kidz Bop?). Why are there so many random screams and guitar riffs? The lyrical strength of this is amazing!!! (the same trashy lyrics are repeated throughout the whole song. None of them are clever or insightful.) I can tell that Liam and Louis co-wrote this.
Overall: I cant find anything positive to say about this. Lyrics are weak. Background is weird. Sound effects are not necessary and frankly, creepy. Harmonies? There are none, its unison. I really dont like this song. Stars: 1 (if I have to)

2. Midnight Memories Trying too hard. People talk shhhsame old shhh but a different day cant you just curse? The shhh sounds pretty nice but come on you are old enough to curse, kiddos. This song is mature so the lyrics should follow in entirety. Sounds like a group of surfers in a doo wop group on acid are sitting on an 80s Jukebox while they have a seizure. Or maybe singing karaoke in their mothers basement. They all sound drunk. The huffing and puffing in the background is frankly quite creepy (again with the odd sound effectS). Harrys weird progressively higher note that ends in an inhuman scream towards the end is not cute. What is this?
Overall: The music in the background is good but not my style or their style (or what I thought was their style). Not as bad as Little Black Dress. Still has the creepy throwback moms basement vibes. Stars: 1.5 I guess

3. Better Than Words The intro music has All Time Low sort of vibes but it sounds like Jamaican punk as it progresses. Like Jesse McCartney gone punk is singing while tropical birds mate in the background? This sounds wannabe gangster? The unnecessary sexual but not really sexual noises in the background are strange. Liam sounds like a scary black bodyguard in some parts (One more time). Was this recorded and inspired by a Hawaiian prison? Was this written by the Backstreet Boys as they drank mojitos and Pia Coladas in hell? What is Better than words? Obviously not the backgro und music and vocals. Also there was a Larry harmony at one point *gasp*. Surprised that was allowed. Overall: Not as bad as it sounds. Its okayif youre into that. Stars: 2 4. Dont Forget Where You Belong The intro sounds like Im slowly being abducted by aliens but then it cuts into some wicked piano (just kidding its one key pressed over and over, move over Beethoven!) This sounds vaguely familiar, the background music. This sounds like its for a commercial for starving children or suicide or something. Harrys voice sounds really deep and nice and he has some cute little notes (like in I feel like Im dreamin). They should be singing this while they wear frien dship bracelets and have group hugs. Louis part does not fit in; it sounds punk but its one of the best parts in the song. The end sounds like We Will Rock You in the background which makes no sense at all (what is going on?). The vocals in the chorus are pretty weak. Zayn builds up to a high note but then you cant ever hear it because (oh goodie!) the chorus busts in again. The chorus is the worst part, to be honest. Sounds like rah rah friendship circle, peace and love. And the muffled Zayn singing at the end as they remind you not to forget this song (although I would like to) is weird. Niall helped write this (I can tell). Overall: This song has a nice message but that doesnt mean the song is that good. Stars: 2, just because it has a nice message. 5. Something Great Its name lied. The beginning is like a banjo and its not that bad. The singing is super slow. The chorus sounds really familiar and vaguely Mumford and Sons-y. It sounds like montage music for someone gazing longingly in a store window at a pair of shoes as they walk along the street. The singing is too slow for the faster background. Sounds like Mumford and Sons crossbred with Taylor Swift (thats bestiality ooh burn). Some of the back tracks of this sound like the bridge of the song Under Pressure (especially Louis part at the end). There are like 459 instruments in this and the instruments keep changing its like an orchestra on drugs. Harrys voice sounds good in a lot of this. The Zarry harmony at the end sounded ki nd of weird like theyre both competing with each other (sing off!). Louis part at the end was actually pretty good. Overall: This song wasnt actually that bad upon second listen. Stars: 2.5

6. Diana (Single) The beginning sounds like Rihannas Disturbia dipped in glitter. Some of these lyrics are pretty strong (I speak a different language, but I still hear your call). It would have been better with a more acoustic backgroundthe fastpaced slightly techno music doesnt entirely suit the heaviness of the song. Harrys part towards the end sounds like part of the song Everybody Wants to Rule the World. Literally. Knew it sounded familiar. Louis and Liam co -wrote this and Im quite impressed considering their last co-written song (Little Black Dress) was immensely subpar. Overall: Catchy, the song is pretty good. Nice message. Some good lyrics. Would have been better with a simpler more toned down back-beat. Dont think it was a good choice for a single, though. Stars: 3 7. You & I The intro is really good and calming, I really like the guitar. The beat in the background is really simple and it suits the song. Niall sounds nice in the beginning, his voice is low and he is easy to understand. Some good lyrics like Silence and sound, did they ever hold each other tight?. Harry has this chorus whipped; he owned it. Some of Harrys raspy voice qualities come through in this song (finally!). I love the way You and I is spaced out powerfully as he sings it. Some of Louis notes are weak and others are what can only be described as cute. Not even the gods abovenot supportive of the lyrical polytheism, but sweet little lyric. Dont like the miniature dubstep towards the end where two of us repeats and fades like six times (why??). Zayns notes towards the end are impressive (finally some Zayn notes in this album). Overall: Classic ballad. Simple, slow, catchy chorus. Some good Zayn notes in the end. Harry carries the chorus. Stars: 4 8. Happily Love the intro to this. Catchy. Clapping and what sounds like bass, like Mumford and Sons but deeper. The Were on fire, were on on fire parts are super catchy. The chorus sounds like Mumford and Sons (as I mentioned) in the background, literally. The clapping in the background is actually really fun and catchy. Part of Louis solo is unintelligible: Im sorry ??? but I dont really care. Liam has some cute notes towards the end. This song is actually super freaking catchy. I want to 2 -step or something or do-si-do with some hand-claps. The song should have been called On Fire. Harry has strong vocals and he actually co-wrote this and Im very impressed. Overall: Catchy as hell. Sounds Mumford and Sons-y. Makes you want to have a hoedown or something. Stars: 4 9. Best Song Ever (Single) Honestly, based on the title I thought this song would suck. The beginning sounds like a knock-off from another song, not a huge fan of the intro. The ow!s in the background are surprisingly likeable. This song is so catchy, the lyrics arent particularly clever or beautiful but they work. The chorus is undeniably catchy. (I say catchy a lot.) Louis and Zayns bridge parts towards the end are pretty and soft (especially Louis). This song does not fit in with the rest of the album at all, though. Overall: Great choice for a single. Doesnt match the rest of the album. I guess its more of a transition from TMH to MM. Super catchy. Good dancing song. Stars: 3.7 10. Right Now Nice intro. Louis sounds sort of like Gerard Way with a cold in the beginning, he sounds really nice. Love the intro. Zayn carries the whole chorusthe beginning of the chorus Right now. I ?????? here with me is slightly unintelligible. Zayn (I think its Zayn) sings falsetto and he sounds like a soulful girl but it works. Liams note when he sings used to be is amazing, my favorite Liam note on the album. Harrys I know note is also really nice. Love the low endings to the notes. The chorus is my least favorite part but its still pretty good and the rest of the song is nice as well. The lyrics are quite redundant but not too weak. Harrys bit towards the end when the background is quite silent and his voice is deep and raspy is amazing. This was written with the singer of OneRepublic and it definitely has a OneRepublic vibe (but I love OneRepublic so I approve). Overall: Impressive. Nothing super special but good nonetheless. Stars: 4.2 11. Story of my Life (Single) More Mumford & Son vibes (are they in the wrong band?). They all exemplify deep and soulful voices and it sounds lovely. Harrys intro is great. Some lyrics are strong, I spend her love until she's broke inside. Zay n and Louis parts are the best; Zayns voice sounds deep and beautiful. The chorus is catchy but Harry sounds a bit like hes shoutingdont think he should have carried the chorus. Different, but good. All five members of the band wrote this together. Overall: Catchy, pretty good lyrics. Good single choice. Stars: 4

12. Strong The intro sounds like the start of a Kelly Clarkson song. Zayns voice is deeper than I have ever heard and it is beautiful. Then, Liams voice is super deep. Louis voice sounds controlled and very deep (this is the best his voice has ever sounded to be honest). Nialls voice is also so deep. All of the voices so deep (except Harry)!? Deep voice paradise! Harry carries the chorus. Some really cute sappy lyrics like Im sorry if I say I need yabecause when Im not with you Im weaker. Zayn rocks the bridge-y part towards the end. All of their voices sound really crisp and deep like toasted marshmallows on an autumn night. One or two signature Zayn riffs towards the end. Pleasantly surprised Louis co-wrote this. Overall: The deep voices make this song so much better. The lyrics are cute. Chorus is catchy. Stars: 4.7 13. Through the Dark The intro (again) sounds like Mumford and Sons and Imagine Dragons mixed, but deeper. Liam sounds Southern in some of his parts? The faint pounding drum in the back is catchy. Niall sounds really nice. The chorus sounds super country but it works very well. Some really amazing lyrics such as: I wish I could take you to the start, Id never let you fall and break your heart and if you want to cry or fall apart, Ill be there to hold ya Louis sounds better than he almost ever has; his voice is deep and crisp. Some parts sound like a black gospel choir or a mob of cowboys is singing in the background (in a good way). Liams a capella part towards the end is really deep and lovely. The chorus has some clapping (this song is sort of similar to Happily, musically). Overall: Serious folk-y country hoedown vibes paired with some clapping and semi-deep lyrics. Awesome super catchy tune. Stars: 4.5 14. Little White Lies The intro sounded like Ke$ha mixed with an 80s cover band. I was cringing, but as the song continued I was impressed. Louis voice is deeper again, which sounds really good. The background of the chorus is super dubstep which sounds awful but it is actually really catchy. The song lyrics are raunchy at best but they are undoubtedly clever and arrogant Somehow this song (which sounds like a train wreck) works: (You say youre a good girl, but I know you would girl You wanna make some rules now? Cool, then well watch them break). The Ke$ha dubstep background music surprisingly is catchy and not cringe-worthy. Harry carries a large chunk of the chorus. The bridge, I know you want it, sounds like part of Katy Perrys California Girls in the background and the repeating and squeaky fade out towards the end of what we came to do is really weird and annoying. Overall: This song sounds like trash. But its good trash. Really catchy with fun lyrics. Surprisingly impressed. Didnt think I would be. Stars: 4