ENGAGEMENT

MEMBERS: LIM, JAN RYAN LAO, RAYMUNDO RAPHAEL LOPEZ, JEROME LORENZO LUSTRO, JACENT MALLARI, KRISTINE FAITH MONDARES, ALEXANDRA 3CSB

Definition
Betrothal comes from a Latin word (sponsalia) which means, a promise lawfully made between persons capable of marrying each other, that at some future time they will marry. Betrothal, in the Catholic Church, is a deliberate and free, mutual, true promise, an agreement externally expressed, of future marriage between determinate and fit persons. It is not merely an intention; and, like all contracts, it must be entered into with deliberation proportionate to the obligation which it begets; it must be free from force, substantial error, and grave fear. The promise given must be mutual; a promise on the part of one only, with acceptance by the other, does not constitute a betrothal. The consent, of course, as in all contracts, must be true, or sincere, not feigned; it must be given with the intention of binding oneself, and this intention must be expressed verbally, by writing, or by action, in person or by proxy. This contract, like matrimony, can exist only between two definite persons whose capacity is recognized by the Church; that is, between whom there is no matrimonial impediment, either as regards the licitness or validity of the contract. Canon 1062 of the new Code states: A promise of marriage, whether unilateral or bilateral, called an engagement, is governed by the particular law which the Episcopal Conference has enacted, after consideration of such customs and civil laws as may exist. From Roman law sources, espousals were always understood as "the mention and promise of future marriage." Pope Nicholas I defined them as "pacts of promise of future marriage." The Code of Canon Law today regards betrothals as either bilateral or unilateral contracts, accordingly as they are mutually agreed on by both parties or made by one and accepted by the other party. St. Thomas referred to the engagement as a "quasi-sacramental." Future brides and grooms may be called the betrothed, a wife-to-be or husband-tobe, fiance or fianc, respectively (from the French word fiancer). The duration of the courtship varies vastly.

History
Jewish and Roman laws and customs must have influenced the early practice of the Church anent betrothal. The Jewish laws of marriage, and consequently of betrothal, were based in a great measure on the supposition that it was a purchase. IN THE LAW OF MOSES There are certain provisions respecting the state of the virgin who is betrothed, but nothing particularly referring to the act of betrothal. The Hebrew contracts of betrothal. Where the contract was in writing, it was written out by the man before witnesses and delivered to the woman, who must know its import. ROME AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CHRISTIAN ERA They consider marriage as a wife-purchase. Marriage, and still more betrothal, was a purely civil compact, verbally concluded.

Under later Roman law, which constituted a basis for ecclesiastical legislation, betrothal was looked upon simply as a contract of future marriage, stronger indeed than the engagement, since to enter into a second betrothal compact was held to be as infamous as bigamy itself. No legal forms were prescribed for the early Roman betrothal, but the compact was generally accompanied by the man's sending to the woman the iron betrothal ring (annulus pronubus). As the Empire grew in importance, so did the betrothal contract, while at the same time its obligations were more frequently disregarded. Hence the practice of giving earnest-money, or pledges of fidelity (arrhoe), came into prominence; another step led to gifts being bestowed by the parties, one upon the other. The kiss, the joining of hands, and the attestation of witnesses were other elements introduced. Even in England formal engagements of this kind were common down to the time of the Reformation. As barbarian influence, however, began to affect the Empire, the betrothal took on more the semblance of wife-purchase. THE CHURCH AT THE BEGINNING OF THIRD CENTURY Betrothal is recognized as a perfectly valid and lawful contract. In the fourth century, in Africa at least, according to the testimony of St. Augustine (Sermo viii, 18; Sermo xxxvii, 7; Sermo cccxxxii, 4, etc.), espousals were contracted in writing, the instrument (tabulae), signed by the bishop, being publicly read. At the same time the dowry, if any, was given, or nuptial gifts were exchanged. Pope Benedict I (573-577), writing to the Patriarch of Gran, declares that it is connubial intercourse that makes two one, that mere betrothal would not prevent a man from entering into wedlock with the sister of his betrothed. The question of relationship, then, arising from the betrothal contract was mooted even at that early period. Gregory the Great (590-603) allowed a woman who was betrothed to dissolve her engagement in order to enter a convent (Bk. VI, Ep. xx). NINTH CENTURY From a reply of Pope Nicholas to the Bulgarians in 860 (Responsa ad Consulta Bulgarorum, c. iii), it is apparent that the preliminaries leading up to a marriage in the Church were: 1. The betrothal or espousal; the expression of consent by the contracting parties, and the consent also of their parents, or guardians, to the projected marriage. 2. The subarrhatio, or delivery of the ring by the man to the woman by way of an earnest, or pledge. 3. The documentary transfer, by the man to the woman, of the dowry, in the presence of witnesses. 4. The marriage was to follow immediately, or after an interval more or less protracted. These rites are still recognized in modern uses. There is a declaration of consent, which, since the marriage follows immediately after, called de praesenti. The placing of the ring on the finger of the bride by the bridegroom constitutes

the subarrhatio, while in many places transferring of the dowry is represented by a medal or coin a relic of Salic law and of wife-purchase. FOURTH LATERAN COUNCIL The concept of an official engagement period in Western European culture may have begun in 1215 at the Fourth Lateran Council, headed by Pope Innocent III, which decreed that "marriages are to be announced publicly in the churches by the priests during a suitable and fixed time, so that if legitimate impediments exist, they may be made known." Such a formal church announcement of the intent to marry is known as banns. In some jurisdictions, reading the banns may be part of one type of legal marriage. Origin of the Engagement Ring Engagement, or betrothal, rings date back to the ancient days of marriage by purchase when gold rings were circulated as currency. The groom-to-be would offer his bride-to-be a gold ring both as his partial payment and as a symbol of his intentions. Brides-to-be in these earlier times wore woven bands made of rush (a flexible marsh plant with hollow stems), and replaced them each year. Roman brides-to-be wore rings made of iron to symbolize the permanent, unending nature of marriage. During Medieval times, grooms-to-be placed the ring on three of the bride's fingers in turn to represent the Holy Trinity -- the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Right Ages to Engagement

INDIVIDUAL AGES The ages of both individuals in a couple should play a part in whether or not they are ready to be engaged. By the nature of life and adult experiences, someone who is older will have more world-wise knowledge of a life other than their own - they will be experienced with paying bills, holding down a job, furthering their education, and other goals. A younger couple, however, may be wrapped in the novelty of their emotions and not have as good a conception of how to build a life together without help from parents or other sources. At the same time, individual circumstances can vary widely: a 23-year-old who has lived at home during college and taken summers off may be less prepared for the adult commitment of being engaged than a 19-year-old who got their first apartment at age 17 and has been on their own ever since. It is important, then, that personal maturity as well as individual calendar age should be a factor in making a commitment to be married. RELATIONSHIP AGES The age of a couple's relationship is also crucial when they are contemplating engagement, regardless of how old they may individually be. A couple who are both 26 but have only known each other for a few weeks may be less ready to get engaged than a couple who are both 20 but have been together for several years. Ideally, a couple should be together long enough to see one another in circumstances beyond the first flush of dating - events such as family holidays, career changes, lengthy separations, and even the occasional argument can help a couple's relationship mature beyond the infatuation stage. Each event gives the couple insight into one another to

discern whether they are ready for marriage. For some couples, just a few months may be long enough to decide on this type of commitment, and for other couples it may take several years before they feel comfortable becoming engaged. AGE DIFFERENCES A couple that has age discrepancies has additional challenges when they consider engagement. For example, while one person may be older and ready to be engaged, the other person may be too young to truly evaluate the relationship and commitment logically. In this case, the older individual needs to recognize the needs of their partner and help them grow individually so they can decide if a deeper commitment is what they truly want. Rushing into a commitment because of an arbitrary age can lead to a broken engagement or unhappy marriage. Age differences can also lead to different philosophies about critical aspects of a marriage, such as individual careers, religion, parenting, finances, and other key issues. Any couple with an age difference of more than a year or two should carefully consider these types of issues to ensure they are able to work together for a happy relationship without obvious misunderstandings or assumptions. Formalities Formal betrothal is not customary in the United States or in English-speaking countries generally, as it is among certain nations, where the ceremony is sometimes solemn (before ecclesiastical witnesses) and sometimes private (made at home before the family or friends as witnesses). Among English-speaking peoples the betrothal, if it occurs, is generally without the presence of a third party. In Spain (S. C. C., 31 January, 1880; 11 April, 1891) and in Latin America (Acta et Decreta Conc. Pl. Amer. Lat., p. 259, in note 1) a betrothal compact is considered invalid by the Church unless written documents pass between the contracting parties. This practice obtains in other countries also, but its observance is not necessary to validate the agreement.

The Engagement Ceremony

IN CATHOLIC CHURCHES Officially speaking, there is no prescribed ritual for betrothals. Since, however, the engagement is so closely allied with the Sacrament of Matrimony, it is most fitting that it take place in church, preferably at the communion railing. The Holy See does not permit the introduction of any new liturgical ceremonies on private authority. The ceremony is as follows: 1. The priest (vested in surplice and white stole) with his assistants (vested in surplice) awaits the couple at the communion table. At hand are the stoup with holy water and the altar missal. As the man and woman come forward with the two witnesses they have chosen, the antiphon and psalm are sung on the eighth psalm tone. 2. The priest now addresses them:

Allocution Beloved of Christ: It is in the dispensation of Divine Providence that you are called to the holy vocation of marriage. For this reason, you present yourselves today before Christ and His Church, before His sacred minister and the devout people of God, to ratify in solemn manner the engagement bespoken between you. At the same time you entreat the blessing of the Church upon your proposal, as well as the earnest supplications of the faithful here present, since you fully realize that what has been inspired and guided by the will of your heavenly Father requires equally His grace to be brought to a happy fulfillment. We are confident that you have given serious and prayerful deliberation to your pledge of wedlock; moreover, that you have sought counsel from the superiors whom God has placed over you. In the time that intervenes, you will prepare for the sacrament of matrimony by a period of virtuous courtship, so that when the happy and blessed day arrives for you to give yourselves irrevocably to each other, you will have laid a sound spiritual foundation for long years of godly prosperity on earth and eventual blessedness together in the life to come. May the union you purpose one day to consummate as man and wife be found worthy to be in all truth a sacramental image and reality of the union of Christ and His beloved Bride, the Church. This grant, thou Who livest and reignest, God, forever and evermore. 3. The priest now bids the couple to join their right hands, while they repeat after him the following: The man: In the name of our Lord, I, N.N., promise that I will one day take thee, N.N., as my wife, according to the ordinances of God and holy Church. I will love thee even as myself. I will keep faith and loyalty to thee, and so in thine necessities aid and comfort thee; which things and all that a man ought to do unto his espoused I promise to do unto thee and to keep by the faith that is in me. The woman: In the name of our Lord, I, N.N., in the form and manner wherein thou hast promised thyself unto me, do declare and affirm that I will one day bind and oblige myself unto thee, and will take thee, N.N as my husband. And all that thou hast pledged unto me I promise to do and keep unto thee, by the faith that is in me. 4. Then the priest takes the two ends of his stole and in the form of a cross places them over the clasped hands of the couple. Holding the stole in place with his left hand, he says: I bear witness of your solemn proposal and I declare you betrothed. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. As he pronounces the last words, he sprinkles them with holy water in the form of a cross. 5. Thereupon he blesses the engagement ring:

V. Adjutorium nostrum in nomine Domini. R. Qui fecit caelum et terram. V. Domine, exaudi orationem meam. R. Et clamor meus ad te veniat. V. Dominus vobiscum. R. Et cum spiritu tuo. Oremus: Omnipotent Deus, creator et conservator humani generis, ac largitor aeternae salutis, permitte digneris Spiritum sanctum Paraclitum super hunc annulum. Per Dominum nostrum Jesum Christum, Filium tuum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat in unitate Spiritus Sancti Deus, per omnia saecula saeculorum. R. Amen. Et aspergatur aqua benedicta. V. Our help is in the name of the Lord. R. Who made heaven and earth. V. O Lord, hear my prayer. R. And let my cry come unto thee. V. The Lord be with you. R. And with thy spirit. Let us pray: O God Almighty, Creator and preserver of the human race, and the Giver of everlasting salvation, deign to allow the Holy Spirit, the Consoler to come with His blessing upon this ring. Through our Lord, Jesus Christ, thy Son, who liveth and reigneth with thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit God, for endless ages. R. Amen. The ring is sprinkled with holy water. 6. The man takes the ring and places it first on the index finger of the left hand of the woman, saying: In the name of the Father, (then on the middle finger, adding): and of the Son; (finally placing and leaving it on the ring finger, he concludes): and of the Holy Spirit.

7. The priest opens the missal at the beginning of the Canon, and presents the page imprinted with the crucifixion to be kissed first by the man and then by the woman. 8. If Mass does not follow (or even if Mass is to follow, if he deems it opportune), the priest may read the following passages from Sacred Scripture: Tobias 7:8 and John 15:4-12. 9. Lastly, the priest extends his hands over the heads of the couple and says: May God bless your bodies and your souls. May He shed His blessing upon you as He blessed Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. May the hand of the Lord be upon you, may He send His holy Angel to guard you all the days of your life. Amen. Go in peace! IN ORTHODOX AND GREEK-CATHOLIC CHURCHES The Rite of Betrothal is traditionally performed in the narthex (entranceway) of the church, to indicate the couple's first entrance into the married estate. The priest blesses the couple and gives them lit candles to hold. Then, after a litany, and a prayer at which everyone bows, he places the bride's ring on the ring finger of the groom's right hand, and the groom's ring on the bride's finger. The rings are then exchanged three times, either by the priest or by the best man, after which the priest says a final prayer. Originally, the betrothal service would take place at the time the engagement was announced. In recent times, however, it tends to be performed immediately before the wedding ceremony itself. The exchange of rings is not a part of the wedding service in the Eastern Churches, but only occurs at the betrothal. Traditionally, the groom's ring is gold and the bride's ring is silver.

Effects
A valid betrothal begets chiefly two effects. There arises first an obligation in justice, binding the contracting parties to keep their agreement; viz. to marry at the time specified; or, when the date of marriage is not agreed upon, whenever the second party to the compact reasonably demands the fulfillment of the marriage-promise. Marriage, consequently, with a third party is forbidden, though not invalid. There arises, secondly, owing to an ecclesiastical law, a diriment impediment, known as "public decency", extending to relatives in the first degree of the parties betrothed. This impediment continues to exist in all its force, even after the betrothal has been legitimately dissolved. There is no exception at any time, or in any country, to the binding force arising from a valid betrothal, even though it be not public (S. C. S. Off., 11 Aug., 1852), or to the impediment begotten thereby. Engagements very frequently, though not always, are rather proposals of matrimony than promises as explained above, and in them an essential element of the betrothal is wanting (Sabetti, Theol. Mor., n. 838, qu. 30; Kenrick, Theol. Mor., nos. 23, 37).

Advantages
Priests would do well to encourage a Solemn Betrothal and discourage marriage, if possible, when: 1. Military service will separate the groom from his bride very shortly after, if not before, the marriage. An engagement in church will insure fidelity and a partner (to a degree at least) without the inexorable and permanent effects produced by matrimony. 2. Pursuit of higher education is contemplated by one or both of the contractants. Experience points to the hardships, material and moral, accompanying student husbands, wives and parents. 3. Immaturity, emotional, physical and moral, present in either or both parties. The engagement can serve as a useful period conducive to the necessary growth of the still infantile and puerile couple. 4. Uncertainty and vacillation experienced by either party in regard to the choice of consort, the willingness to assume the burdens of the married state here and now, or the like. 5. Well-grounded fears harbored by any of the parties, the pastor and parents included, about the outcome and success of the marriage.

Dissolution
A betrothal may be dissolved: 1. By the mutual and free consent of the contracting parties. 2. By a diriment impediment, which subsequently arises between said parties. In this case the innocent party is released form his or her obligation, but not the one through whose fault the impediment arose. The latter may be held to the contract, if the impediment be such that the Church can dispense from it. 3. By a valid marriage entered into with a third person. 4. By protracted delay on the part of either of the contracting parties in fulfilling the agreement to marry, in which case the innocent party is released from obligation. 5. By one of the contracting parties choosing a higher state of perfection, as for example by solemn profession in a religious order, by the reception of major orders, etc. 6. By any notable change in body or soul or worldly state of one of the parties any grave circumstance which if it had happened or been known before the betrothal would have prevented it. To these may be added the impossibility of contracting matrimony, and a dispensation granted by the pope for just causes.

Procedures for breach of promise

In case of refusal to complete the contract by marriage an action before the diocesan court is permissible. Bishops, however, are counseled not ordinarily to enforce marriage in such cases, as generally it would prove unhappy. In English-speaking countries these matters are, as a rule, taken into the civil courts, where the only remedy is a breach-of-promise suit, the penalty being a fine. In the United States, before the civil law, betrothal has only the moral force of a mutual promise. Betrothal in England was once a legal bar to matrimony with another; at present the only legal remedy for the violation of the betrothal is an action for breach of promise.
Sources Consult recognized authorities in canon law or moral theology for present discipline. Magani, L'Antica Liturgia Rom. (Milan, 1897), 360 sqq.; Duchesne, Christian Worship (tr. 1904), XIV; Ludlow in Dict. Christ. Antiq., s.v. Meehan, A. (1907). Betrothal. In The Catholic Encyclopedia. New York: Robert Appleton Company. Retrieved March 13, 2014 from New Advent: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02537c.htm https://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?recnum=2978 http://engagementrings.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Right_Age_to_Get_Engaged http://www.cftech.com/BrainBank/OTHERREFERENCE/ETIQUETTE/TheEngagement.html