Running head: STUART DILL

Stuart Dill [Full Name] [Institutional Affiliation]

STUART DILL Stuart Dill Kubler-Ross grieving process is comprised of 5stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance (Kubler-Ross & Kessler). These stages have been widely misunderstood as their initial intention was to aid people in dealing with their loss not channel them into certain emotional categories. Denial is the stage of shock, when life loses its meaning and reality ceases to exist. When Job, a biblical character, loses his wealth, children, and suffers from a terminal illness he still denies his awful situation and is ready to accept any fate from God. Though this symbolizes his faith, Job was suffering and he refused to accept this. When the phase of denial passes one begins to question him/herself, which leads to the second stage, anger.

Anger is a mere disguise of pain. The stage of bargaining is one when an individual begins to contemplate in the if only mindset. This stage helps individuals shield the pain they are feeling. After this stage, reality sets in and individuals come to terms with their present situation. This leads to depression. The final stage is acceptance, which is when people accept their situation and try to move on with their lives. The Buddha referred to life on earth as one that is brief, filled with troubles, and pain (The Four Noble Truths, n.d). Buddhism believes that death and pain on earth are inevitable; hence, Buddhism does not believe in denial and the wise do not grieve. In Buddhism, grieving, and its aspects such as anger are believed to be selfish and only enhance ones pain. An example is that of Kisa Gotami who lost her only son and asked Buddha for ailment to bring him back to life. Buddha gave her a mustard seed, with the condition that this seed can only be taken in a house where no one has lost a loved one (The Mustard Seed, n.d). This story emphasizes on the inevitability of death. Buddhism believes in being honest to oneself about reality and not succumbing to natural but irrelevant emotions such as anger, denial, and depression.

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In the Kubler-Ross theorem, in order for one to feel joy, one has to encounter all his/her negative emotions. This enables an individual to finally reach the acceptance stage where one can finally feel joy and learn to live with his/her loss. However, in Buddhism one is expected to bypass the negative emotions since death is inevitable and acceptance should be the first and only stage. In Kubler-Ross theorem one cannot feel joy throughout the entire grieving process as this feeling is inhibited by other emotions such as anger and depression. However, in Buddhism one can and should be joyful in the grievance process. Grief is a natural process and I believe one should be able to express his emotions during his/her grievance process. One should release his/her feelings, and friends such as those in Jobs case should be there to comfort him/her during this phase. I disagree with Buddhisms view point on grievance as it contradicts itself. The theorem emphasizes on facing reality and yet it undermines natural and realistic feelings such as anger and denial. The suppression of these feelings during the grievance stage could lead to exaggerated emotional trauma in the future. Grievance is likely to occur in every individuals life at one point or another. Many religions have different viewpoints and many people respond differently to situations such as death or pain. I believe an individual should respond naturally to grief. As these emotions cannot be taught and only an individual knows how he/she feels inside. Responding naturally to such emotions is the only way an individual can truly be content about his/her situation.

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References Kubler-Ross, E. & Kessler, D., (2007) On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. New York: Scribner The Four Noble Truths. (n.d) Retrieved from http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/buddhism/beliefs/fournobletruths_1.shtml The Mustard Seed. (n.d) Retrieved from http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/btg/btg85.htm