Professional Documents
Culture Documents
RWR 1
Welcome!
copyright Reno Dal 2004 (2002) Issued Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 PM
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Comments
STRUCTURAL ISSUES
Structure ABC the [A, [B, [C then ABC Introduction Background/General Theme Definition of key terms Scope/Outline with clear points (A, B, C) Body Text Staging devices announce paragraph relationships Topic Sentences clear Logical Flow order as per outline (A, B, C) Conclusion Staging Device Announces Conclusion SUMMARY order as per outline (A, B, C) SORI Statement of relative importance Concluding Statement
STYLE ISSUES
Expression Academic Language not Colloquial st nd No 1 & 2 person pronouns (I, we, you, me, us, your) Sentence meanings clear & accurate Spelling accurate/not confusing Noun Groups/Nominalisation Grammar Verb-Subject Agreement Appropriateness - no confusion of meanings
DOCUMENT PRESENTATION
A4 Paper Stapled on top, left-hand corner Name, class & teacher on top right-hand corner Margins left and right for teacher notes Double spaced for corrections Loose sheets - not in plastic folder or book Clear writing or choice of font
LEGEND
Symbol X ! Line/Circle Meaning Not there or badly done (see your teacher) Well done Needs improvement (review the guidelines)
copyright Reno Dal 2004 (2002) Issued Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 PM
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copyright Reno Dal 2004 (2002) Issued Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 PM
RWR1: The Explanation Essay offers a level of social services so complete that students may not even notice that they have left their own countries. Beyond mere social services, Australia also offers the highest quality of educational advantages available anywhere in the world. It is well-known that, unlike the Asian system, Australian education has no compulsory homework and little need to study. Even English is unnecessary as most classes are conducted in Cantonese when the teacher is not looking. It is also widely understood that Australia has much lower standards than England or the United States of America which means that obtaining a degree is more like a holiday than a time of hard work. All these factors combine to make Australias educational advantages incomparable across the planet. Lastly, family reasons, which play an important role in Asian cultures, must be considered. Asian families are reputedly very close-knit, creating in children a strong desire to escape intense filial pressures. Because Australia is seen as a safe and easily accessible country, parents are more likely to allow their children independence than if they went to places such as the United States of America or England. This allows students to explore a wilder life than they ever could with family supervision; they dye their hair, go to wild parties and explore Australias flamboyant social diversity. The only disadvantage is that parents can quickly fly to Australia but this is only a minor disadvantage as hairdressing salons and clothing shops are open seven days a week, thus allowing students to quickly return their hair to its
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copyright Reno Dal 2004 (2002) Issued Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 PM
RWR1: The Explanation Essay original colour and dress as their parents expect. Thus, the effective escape from family pressures is achieved without duress. In conclusion, this essay has investigated the three main reasons why overseas students choose to study in Australia, being exceptional social services, major educational advantages and important family reasons. Of all of these, family reasons are the most important since if it was impossible to escape the pressures of family life, there would be little point in going overseas at all. Thus it can be easily understood that a wide range of elements contribute to the move to Australia, all of them compelling in their own way. It is therefore highly probable that this trend will continue.
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copyright Reno Dal 2004 (2002) Issued Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 PM
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copyright Reno Dal 2004 (2002) Issued Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 PM
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ANALYSIS OF TEXT
Introduction
Opening Statement (Background Statement): The practice of travelling abroad to pursue tertiary study has developed into a major industry in Australia catering to an annual presence of approximately 135,000 students in 2001 (SMH 2001:13). Definition: Overseas students refers to those students coming to Australia for the purpose of study. OR: For the purpose of this essay, overseas students will be defined as those students from Asia coming to Australia for the purpose of undergraduate study. Scope: This essay will investigate* three key areas: (A) exceptional social services, (B) educational advantages and (C) family reasons. *(explore/explain/present/consider/propose)
copyright Reno Dal 2004 (2002) Issued Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 PM
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Conclusion:
Summary In conclusion, this essay has investigated the three main reasons why overseas students choose to study in Australia, being exceptional social services, major educational advantages and important family reasons. Statement of Relative Importance Of all of these, family reasons are the most important since if it was impossible to escape the pressures of family life, there would be little point in going overseas at all. OR: Of all of these, family reasons are the most important because, if it was impossible to escape the pressures of family life, there would be little point in going overseas at all. Concluding Statement Thus it can be easily understood that a wide range of elements contribute to the move to Australia, all of them compelling in their own way. It is therefore highly probable that this trend will continue.
copyright Reno Dal 2004 (2002) Issued Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 PM
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ESSAY FEATURES
The Answers
(A) What are the key points of the scope? ANSWER: (A) exceptional social services (B) educational advantages and (C) family reasons. (B) How many paragraphs in the body text? 3=A, B, C (C) (D) (E) (F) (G) What are the in text references? (SMH 2001:13) (SMH 2001:13) (Dal 1996:72) What are the key points of the summary? 3=A, B, C Where is the definition? Introduction, 2nd sentence. How many new ideas are presented in the conclusion? None Look at the body text and identify the subjects of the topic sentences. Note their relationship to the scope. See underlined noun groups in text analysis on page 7. Also note the use of lexical chains- a sequence of noun groups with similar meanings. (H) What verb tense is used in the scope? Future simple. N.B. This could also be the present simple tense. What verb tense is used in the summary? Present perfect (J) How many times are the 1st & 2nd person pronouns used? (i.e. I/we, me/us, you). Not once KEY ISSUES:
(1) (2) (3) The use of verb tenses to signal scope and summary. Use of cohesive devices. Explanation essay structure.
ANSWER:
(I)
ANSWER:
copyright Reno Dal 2004 (2002) Issued Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 PM