J OURNAL OF COUNSELI NG & DEVELOPMENT SPRI NG 2004 VOLUME 82 177

Even after the release from captivity, the victim cannot assume her
former identity. Whatever new identity she develops in freedom
must include the memory of her enslaved self.
Judith Herman (1992)
Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence
From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
C
hildhood is a time that is usually associated
with innocence, with hope, and with promise
for the future. Within the context of a safe en-
vironment and with the care of loving adults
who demonstrate clear interpersonal boundaries,
children are able to develop a secure sense of themselves and
their place in the world. Although the process of forming an
identity evolves throughout life, it is during these early years
that the foundation of identity is laid (Josselson, 1987, 1996).
Understandably then, the construction of a healthy sense of self
and of safety in the world is especially difficult for the estimated
20% to 30% of women whose caretakers incestuously abused
them in childhood (Briere, 1992; Gold, Elhai, Lucenko, Swingle,
& Hughes, 1998; Peters & Range, 1995; Russell, 1986).
It is well established within the field of trauma research
that childhood sexual abuse affects a childs developing sense
of self (Crowley, 2000; Herman, 1992; Roche, Runtz, & Hunter,
1999). Because the psychological structures of the self and
basic assumptions about oneself and the world are signifi-
cantly affected by childhood experiences of incest, a critical
part of the clinical work during the healing process involves
challenging faulty assumptions about the unworthiness of the
self and nurturing a more positive self-perception (Courtois,
1988, 1999; Crowley, 2000; Dolan, 1991; Draucker, 1992;
Herman, 1992; Matsakis, 1996; Roche et al., 1999; van der
Kolk, van der Hart, & Burbridge, 1995).
Several treatment models developed within the trauma
field address the issue of identity in their conceptualizations
of the recovery process (Bass & Davis, 1988; Courtois, 1988;
Draucker, 1992; Herman, 1992; Matsakis, 1996). All of these
models describe the identity constructions of women in the
early stages of treatment as being profoundly shaped by their
abusive historywith themes of invisibility, inherent bad-
ness, guilt, shame, and victimization characterizing womens
self-constructions. According to Bass and Davis (1988), in
the early stages of the recovery process, the sexual abuse
experience often dominates the womans identity and sig-
nificantly informs how she experiences and perceives her-
self and the world. In essence, the world and the self are
viewed through the lens of the victimized child.
As the woman begins to externalize the abuse and disown
responsibility for what was done to her and as she starts to
acknowledge the personal strengths that were required of
her child self in coping with and surviving the trauma, a
very significant shift occurs in terms of her identity. She
moves from perceiving herself as a victim to taking on the
more agentic identity of a survivor (Bass & Davis, 1988;
Courtois, 1988, 1999; Draucker, 1992; Herman, 1992;
Matsakis, 1996). This identity shift serves her well for many
months, and often years, as she continues to work through
the multiple layers of pain, grief, and loss that are the legacy
of her traumatic past and tries to find her true self and her
place in the world.
Although it is much more adaptive than the victim iden-
tity characteristic of the early stages of healing, many writ-
ers in the field suggest that as healing progresses the survi-
vor identity may well become too constricting and should
be abandoned (Courtois, 1988; Draucker, 1992; Grossman,
Alexis Phillips, Crawford Bay, British Columbia, Canada; Judith C. Daniluk, Department of Educational and Counselling Psychology, and Special
Education, University of British Columbia. Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Judith C. Daniluk, Department of Educational
and Counselling Psychology, University of British Columbia, 2125 Main Mall, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada V6T 1Z9 (e-mail: judith.daniluk@ubc.ca
or alexisp@netidea.com).
Beyond Survivor: How Childhood Sexual Abuse
Informs the Identity of Adult Women at the End of
the Therapeutic Process
Alexis Phillips and Judith C. Daniluk
A qualitative method was used to explore how adult women experienced their identity after extensive therapy to deal with
childhood sexual abuse. Seven women shared their healing journeys and their perceptions of the role of the abuse in their
current life and self-perceptions. Phenomenological analysis of the interview data revealed 5 common themes related to
participants self-definition and self-acceptance, sense of visibility and connection to others, current worldview, and residual
losses. These findings are discussed in terms of their implications for trauma counselors.
2004 by the American Counseling Association. All rights reserved. pp. 177184
J OURNAL OF COUNSELI NG & DEVELOPMENT SPRI NG 2004 VOLUME 82 178
Phi l l i ps a nd Da ni l uk
Cook, Kepkep, & Koenen, 1999; Herman, 1992). Because it is
closely associated with the abuse, this survivor identity is in
effect a stigmatized identityone that no longer accurately
reflects the breadth and depth of the womans evolving sense
of self. In the later stages of healing, the womans identifica-
tion with the abuse and its effects is greatly diminished. There
is increased integration of the consequences of the abuse into
her identity and recognition that this is only a part, not all, of
how she defines and understands herself. On the basis of
narrative interviews with 30 young women who had been
sexually abused as children, Crowley (2000) noted how, in
the later stages of their healing, these young women experi-
enced their identity as being more fluid and incorporating
the many other aspects of their life and self.
However, if not as a survivor, what is a more appropriate
and respectful way to refer to women who have endured,
and no doubt been shaped by, their abusive history? It is not
clear from the literature how women define themselves once
their survivor identity is abandoned or the degree to which
they feel their abusive history continues to play a role in
their current life and self-perception once the healing pro-
cess is finished. As such, the aim of this study was to learn
more about how identity is experienced and constructed by
women at the end of the therapeutic process. The question
that guided this inquiry was, How do women experience
their identity after recovering from incestuous abuse?
METHOD
Given that the purpose of this study was to explore and
describe the subjective experience of womens sense of self
after recovering from incest, we considered a phenomeno-
logical, qualitative approach to be most appropriate. Phe-
nomenological methodology provided a way of capturing the
essence of how the participants experienced their identity
and allowed them to articulate the role played by their abu-
sive history in terms of their current life and self-perception
(van Manen, 1990). Consistent with the feminist approach
and philosophy that informed this research, this method
allowed the women to speak for themselves, relying on the
knowledge and firsthand experience of the research participants
(Osborne, 1990). We considered phenomenology to be an ap-
propriate methodology for this study because it is particularly
suited to studying a phenomenon about which little is known
and allows for an in-depth inquiry into individuals experiences
and the meaning structures with which they endow those
experiences (Colaizzi, 1978, Osborne, 1994). Consistent
with the aims of this study, the end result of phenomeno-
logical research is not effective theory with which to explain
reality, but rather plausible insights that bring us in more
direct contact with the world (van Manen, 1990, p. 9).
Participants and Procedure
Participants were selected through informal networking in a
local urban community of mental health professionals who
work with adult women and men recovering from child-
hood sexual abuse. Mental health professionals within this
network were given recruitment notices to distribute to
potentially suitable participants. To be included in this study,
participants were required to be adult women who had expe-
rienced incest in childhood, to have concluded a therapeutic
process focused specifically on working through the trauma
of their childhood incestuous abuse, to perceive themselves
as having healed from their traumatic experiences, and to
describe themselves as having integrated their traumatic
history into their identity. For the purposes of this research
project, participants who defined themselves as having expe-
rienced incest were considered eligible for the proposed study.
The women also had to be willing and able to discuss with a
female researcher their current self-perception and how they
felt this had been informed by their past abuse experience.
Seven women between the ages of 30 and 57 years partici-
pated in the study. Six of the women were Caucasian, and 1
of the women was Canadian aboriginal Metis. Five of the
women had partners, 2 were single. Four had children and 3
did not. One of the women was a lesbian. All had experi-
enced long-term incestuous abuse by their father through-
out childhood, whereas 4 of the women stated that they had
also been abused by other male family members. All of the
women considered therapy to have been an important com-
ponent in their quest to resolve issues resulting from their
history of incestuous abuse.
In-depth, tape-recorded interviews were conducted with
each participant. The interview is a primary method of data
collection in qualitative methodology and is an invaluable
tool that generates new insights into how people experience
and understand both themselves and their world (Kvale,
1996). The interview focused on the womens experiences
of themselves and their identity after their healing journey.
The interviews were relatively unstructured and began with
a general statement orienting the women to the research
question and the purpose of the study and directing them to
feel free to discuss their experiences and perceptions in the
order and manner most comfortable for them. Open-ended
questions were developed in advance based on topics and
issues highlighted in the sexual abuse recovery and identity
development literature. These questions were not part of
the research protocol per se. Rather, they were used when
necessary during the data collection interviews to guide
the participants in their explorations, to help maintain fo-
cus on the research question, and to deepen exploration of
issues raised by the participants (e.g., How would you
describe your recovery process? How have your sense of
who you are and your feelings about yourself changed
throughout your life? What aspects of who you are as a
person do you feel have remained constant or stable
throughout your life? In what ways do you think your
past abuse experiences inform your sense of who you are
today? How has this changed over time?). Interviews
were conducted by the first author, a woman in her early
30s who had also experienced incest in childhooda fact
that was shared with the participants. This commonality
seemed to facilitate a sense of safety among the female
participants, enabling them to openly explore and discuss
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How Chi l dhood Se x ua l Abus e I nf or ms t he I de nt i t y of Adul t Wome n
their experiences of themselves currently, and throughout
their healing journey, with a sense of curiosity, interest, and
excitement. The interviewer aimed at building rapport with
the participants, immersing herself as much as possible in the
reality of each participant in an attempt to understand each
womans story from the inside (Osborne, 1994). Interviews
continued for 90 to 120 minutes until each participant felt she
had articulated her understanding of the research phenomenon
as fully as possible.
Analysis
More than 15 hours of audiotaped interviews were tran-
scribed verbatim and then analyzed using Colaizzis (1978)
seven-step method of phenomenological analysis. This in-
volved an intensive process of repeated reading and review
of the transcripts and audiotapes, with the objective of iden-
tifying underlying thematic content in each transcript based
on the words of the participants and the nonverbal cues that
were apparent from the tapes (e.g., tone of voice, enhanced
affect). Themes that appeared in each transcript were docu-
mented, along with the words of the women articulating their
experience of each theme. A list of approximately 12 themes
was initially compiled. The themes were discussed between
the researchers, and in the attempt to write each theme, it
became apparent that there was considerable overlap between
some of the themes that was related to when they occurred
in the process of recovery (e.g., a sense of invisibility merged
naturally into the first theme an increasing sense of visibil-
ity, congruence, and connection). Consequently, in the pro-
cess of describing and defining their content and essence, the
themes were further refinedsome collapsing into others
reducing their number to five. The transcripts were again re-
viewed to ensure that the final five themes were common to
the experiences of all of the participants.
RESULTS
The themes that emerged from the analysis reflected the
participants experiences of their current self-perception and
how they believed this had been informed by their experi-
ences of childhood incest. All five themes were based on the
commonalties found in the experiences of all 7 women. Each
participant reviewed the descriptions of the common themes
and was then given a choice of conducting the validation
interviews either in person or over the telephone. During
these telephone interviews, each of the women was asked to
validate whether the themes resonated with, and reflected,
her experiences. All of the women interviewed confirmed that
the themes resonated with, and were an accurate reflection
of, their self-perception and experiences. As such, no changes
were made to the descriptive results after participant valida-
tion of the material. The themes that emerged appear in the
bulleted list, and in the detailed descriptions that follow, and
they are supplemented with the words of the participants (in
quotation marks) wherever possible. No attempt has been
made to order the themes because they were interwoven
throughout the stories of the participants.
An increasing sense of visibility, congruence, and
connection
An emerging sense of self-definition and self-
acceptance
A shift in worldview
A sense of regret over what has been lost
A sense of resiliency and growth
An Increasing Sense of Visibility, Congruence, and
Connection
The women explained that, prior to beginning their healing
process, they felt different, alone, and invisible. As one
of the women stated, I always had this feeling that what
happened to me was so different, that how could I be like
anybody else. All of the participants confirmed that they had
felt unable to talk to anyone about the abuse. Because the
abuse so much defined who they were and how they felt
about themselves, they believed that they had to keep them-
selves from being known. Somewhat like imposters, the
women described having experienced a sense of incongruence
between how they were feeling on the inside and what others
perceived from their outward appearance. However, when
describing their current self-perception at the later stages in
their recovery from the abuse they experienced as children,
they reported feeling significantly more visible, more congru-
ent in terms of their internal feelings and perceptions and
their external persona, and more connected with others.
The women reflected on how an important step in starting
to feel a greater sense of visibility, congruence, and connec-
tion involved being able to place their own individual expe-
rience of incest into a larger social context. The women re-
ported that the therapeutic process helped them to realize
that other women had also experienced incest and enabled
them to see their past as more than a very private and painful
occurrence. The women explained how their ability to put
the abuse into a broader social and political perspective en-
abled them to start sharing and connecting with others, al-
lowing for the first time their inner self to be seen and known.
Sharing more of themselves with others, in turn, contributed
to what the women in this study described as a merging of
their public and private selves.
The greater sense of visibility and connection that the
women experienced was most evident in their assertions
about their current self-perception. As one of the partici-
pants stated, Im just not that same invisible victim any-
more. The women explained how, in working through the
incest and accepting this as part, but not all, of who they
are, they no longer feel invisible. One of the women cap-
tured this shift in the following words:
I feel like Im a person that does stand out and that is so different
than how I saw myself before. . . . Before I was invisible, even
though I wasnt, I felt so invisible. And now I know Im not invis-
ible. I am a person who has an impact on people.
The participants also explained how seeing themselves
within the context of their family, even if their family was
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Phi l l i ps a nd Da ni l uk
dysfunctional, reduced their sense of isolation and increased
their ability to connect with and be known by others. As
one of the women stated,
It helps to see myself in the context of a bigger family, even if the
family is kind of broken up. Its less that Im the dot without any
family connections. Im the healthy little fruit on the tree thats
kind of sick.
In reflecting on their current life, the women were particu-
larly proud of the depth and integrity of their relationships
with friends and loved ones and saw these relationships as
one of the significant rewards of their healing.
An Emerging Sense of Self-Definition and Self-Acceptance
All of the participants described how their self-perception
changed and evolved throughout the recovery process. In
the initial stages of healing, they described their identity
as being intricately and completely intertwined with their
experience of incest. As the women worked through the
ways in which they had been affected by the sexual abuse,
they were increasingly able to disengage from the trauma
and connect with the aspects of themselves that were not
related to being a victim of abuse. These women described
being so engulfed in the worlds of their abusers and in the
pain of their abuse that there was no space for them to
discover who they were outside of that experience. Not
surprisingly, given their feelings of self-loathing and shame,
participants reflected on their initial experience of con-
necting with their feelings during the recovery and heal-
ing process as being very painful. As one of the women
stated,
I somehow woke up. Before that I was just sort of functioning . . .
very painful to wake up. I can remember finding an identity, find-
ing myself waking up, finding myself heaving in pain.
In the early stages of their recovery process, the women
all reported that the survivor identity was very important
to them, both as a source of strength and as an initial step in
defining themselves as someone other than a victim of abuse.
One of the womens words capture the critical importance
of identifying as a survivor in terms of her sense of herself as
she began to heal from the abuse:
My survivor identity used to be everything. There was a time that
I thought that if I dont think of myself as an abuse survivor who
would I be? It was like it felt like a hundred percent of my identity.
It just felt like that was everything and I had to hang onto it. It was
like a little life raft in a way, that I made it and if I hung on to that
identity Id be okay.
However, the women all talked about how they eventu-
ally had to let go of their survivor identity in the later
stages of their therapeutic work so that they could continue
moving forward in their healing process and allow other
aspects of their identity to emerge. These sentiments are
reflected in the following words of one participant:
[F]or quite awhile when I was in therapy I used to think of myself
as a survivor and I dont anymore. I think of myself as a woman, an
artist.
The women all talked about how the survivor identity even-
tually became limiting and no longer reflected their self-
perception of who they were and all that they had become.
At this point in their life, the women all reflected on how
the abuse was no longer an essential aspect of their self-
definition. They attributed this shift to the recovery pro-
cess. The women also attributed this shift to their ability to
create space and distance between themselves and the incest
and to their ability to focus on and affirm more positive as-
pects of themselves and their life. The women also named
time and positive life experiences as important healing influ-
ences in their emerging self-definition and self-acceptance.
The following words of one of the participants capture these
sentiments:
The more space between it and me and the more healthy experi-
ences I have in between, the more I can draw from its richness. So
it seems to me, time is a very big piece here, in the sense that its
long ago and far away, those tragedies. The more Im fed by all the
wonderful things that the world has to offer, the more I can reflect
on what did happen as just an experience I had and not who I am.
Through the healing process, the women were able to de-
velop a more positive self-definition and perception and a
greater sense of personal agency. The participants spoke with
great pride about their personal strength and resiliency in
having endured so much as children and having persevered
through the painful and difficult work of therapy to over-
come the trauma they had experienced. Out of the pain and
the struggle, and through the therapeutic process, these
women felt that they had developed a stronger sense of self
and gained a tremendous amount of self-awareness.
A Shift in Worldview
Throughout childhood and in the early stages of their re-
covery from incest, the women described seeing and experi-
encing the world as a dangerous and fearful place. However,
they talked about how, as they worked their way through
the healing process, their negative sense of the world as a
hostile and dangerous place slowly began to shift. The women
in the study reported that they became significantly less
fearful of being and walking in the world. They described
how prior to and in the early stages of therapy, they had
often felt hopeless about themselves and life. However, hav-
ing emerged from the healing process, their words emanated
hope and excitement about future possibilities and their
place in the world.
The participants described how therapy and the recovery
process enabled them to start seeing the world in a new
way. All of the women in the study stated that the relation-
ship they had created with their therapist was one of the
first areas where they were able to feel a sense of safety.
They also emphasized how, as their healing progressed and
they began to allow themselves to be seen and known by
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How Chi l dhood Se x ua l Abus e I nf or ms t he I de nt i t y of Adul t Wome n
others, the experience of positive and affirming relationships
was especially significant in facilitating this shift from a nega-
tive to a more positive worldview. Participants talked about
how, as they worked through and unloaded the baggage of their
traumatic past, they slowly began to assume a more present-
and future-oriented worldview, rather than being focused on
and constrained by their history. The women described how
they were slowly able to begin seeing the world as a place
where good things can happenas a world of possibilities rather
than one of danger and pain. The following words of one of the
participants reflect this sense of excitement and possibility:
Im really interested to see where it goes from here. Thats just
going to be really interesting, this next phase of my life, because I
am in this new place. I have let go of all that stuff. So part of who
I am is really interested in who I am . . . I mean its always becom-
ing and its always processing.
A Sense of Regret Over What Has Been Lost
The participants all described their recovery process as an
extremely long and difficult journey, and they shared a sense
of sadness and loss about the time and energy that had to be
spent recovering from their traumatic history. This regret is
apparent in the following words of one of the participants:
I spent a lot of years in just sheer agony. Suffering, not grieving, but
just sheer suffering very privately. It took a long time to emerge
and get unstuck from the trauma, to separate from ittime that
under different circumstances could have been spent enjoying life.
Their feelings of regret also seemed to be connected with
the sense that they had missed important opportunities and
relationships in their life because, for so many years, all of
their energies were spent surviving, and then recovering from,
their traumatic past. One of the participants expressed this
sentiment in the following words:
I wish I was back 40 again with the knowledge I have now of
myself and the abuse and what it did. . . . Its taken me 17 years or
more to get to this state. I really in some ways resent the fact that
its probably too late for me to have a relationship and a marriage.
The women also expressed a sense of sadness about aspects
of who they are that continue to be negatively affected by
their childhood experiences of incest, such as their sexuality
and their relationships with their body. The women talked
about continuing to struggle with sexual intimacy and
reflected on their belief that the loss of their capacity for
sexual spontaneity and joy might well be one of the perma-
nent legacies of their sexual abuse experience. The women
lamented the fact that some consequences of the sexual abuse
are very long lasting and that, as hard as they might try,
they might not be able to alter this reality over the course
of their lifetime.
The loss that was felt and expressed most keenly by the
women in this study was the loss of relationships, both their
intimate and romantic relationships and their relationships
with their family of origin. One of the women captured the
enormity of this loss in the following words:
I feel sad that I dont have that family, sad that theres so much
damage there. Recognizing that I dont get to have a good mom-
and-daughter relationship, that kind of stuff. There are real regrets
and sadness around that. The damage has gone beyond just per-
sonal damage to me. My father caused huge damage to his whole
family and his whole extended family. The damage is probably too
extensive for him or the family itself to heal, certainly within this
generation, and thats very sad.
A Sense of Resiliency and Growth
A strong sense of resiliency and growth was a persistent
theme that wove itself throughout the interviews with the 7
female participants. Their sense of sheer determination and
their therapists belief in them and in their capacity for growth
carried these women forward, when they did not feel they
had the knowledge that healing and recovery were possible
or the resources to bring this about; knowledge that these
women have since embraced. All of the women reported that
they had grown stronger and had developed strengths, skills,
and resources by having survived the sexual abuse and having
healed from it. As one of the women stated, I had a lot of
trauma and Ive survived it and because of that . . . I have
learnt a lot of skills.
Despite the damage that was caused by the incest, the
participants all identified aspects of themselves that had
developed in response to the abuse that had allowed them
to cope with what was happening to them as children and
to keep functioning. The women also expressed a sense of
appreciation and gratitude for the gains that they had made
throughout the recovery process. As one of the women stated,
I see myself as a competent person who has developed wisdom
and understanding and compassion because of all aspects of what
Ive been through.
This sense of appreciation seemed to be connected to what
the women described as having to struggle to come to a
place in their life where they could truly experience and
enjoy life. Rather than exclusively focusing on the many
losses sustained throughout their life because of the abuse,
the women were able to appreciate the gains of having done
more than just survive their abusive past. This sense also
seemed to be connected to the womens understanding that
they had acquired things from their life that they would not
have obtained if they had not lived the life that they had.
These sentiments are poignantly reflected in the following
words of one of the participants:
I am the person I am because of all my experiences and there are
plenty of things that I wouldnt give up and so theres no sense in
thinking these things shouldnt have happened.
The most radiant expressions of the participants sense of
resilience and growth were evident in how they articulated
their current sense of self and in their reflections on how
different their life is now that they are at this end of their
recovery process. All of the participants talked about feeling
like they have come to a place in their life where they have
worked through as much as possible and come to terms with
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Phi l l i ps a nd Da ni l uk
the past. The women reflected on the many years of struggle
they had to endure to arrive at this point where they like and
are proud of who they are. The following quote seems to
capture this process and the amazing strength and resilience
of these women:
The world can be so wrong about the human spirit. I wouldnt
wish the pain of child abuse on anybody, but I realize that if I
hadnt been abused or been through hell like that, I might never
have known how unlimited the human spirit is around finding its
way through impossible odds. I wouldnt have missed the experi-
ence of learning that for the world.
DISCUSSION AND IMPLICATIONS FOR COUNSELING
Findings from this study extend the understanding of the
perceived role that childhood incest plays in the life and
identity of women who have worked through and recovered
from such childhood trauma. In particular, the experiences
of the 7 women in this study have important implications
for counselors who specialize in working with survivors of
child sexual abuse during the healing process and, more gen-
erally, for counselors who work with adult women who have
been in treatment to deal with the aftermath of incestuous
abuse. We discuss the results of the study with particular
attention to how these results confirm and extend the avail-
able literature and further inform the role of the counselor
in terms of the identity perceptions of women who feel they
have concluded their healing journey.
Consistent with the work of Herman (1992), all of the
women in this study spoke about the painstaking process of
moving from having a contaminated identity (p. 93) char-
acterized by feelings of self-loathing, shame, and invisibility
at the outset of therapy, to a more positive, integrated, and
visible sense of self by the end of the treatment process.
Within the context of the therapeutic relationship and with
the support of significant others in their life, they began to
separate themselves from the abuse and were slowly able
to dismantle the false self that had been formed around the
abuse (Courtois, 1988, 1999; Herman, 1992). As Josselson
(1996) said in reference to identity shifts during adulthood,
these women were able to make space for the disavowed and
disowned parts of themselves, thereby widening the expanse
of their identity. As they were able to work through the pain
and disengage from the trauma, placing their experience within
a larger social context, they were more able to, in the words
of one participant, reflect on what did happen as just an
experience [they] had and not who [they are].
According to all of the participants, a critical part of be-
ing able to see themselves more positively and of being able to
embrace other aspects of their personhood was the willingness
of otherstheir therapist, other survivors in their treatment
groups, and significant others close to themto see them and
treat them as more than an abuse survivor. It seems important,
then, that as counselors we take care to expand our perspec-
tive and make a point of seeing our clients who have been
abused in childhood in broader and more encompassing ways.
Whether we are doing trauma work with women who were
abused in childhood or we have clients who present with other
issues (e.g., family, relationship, career) and have a history of
having been abused in childhood, it seems critical that we re-
gard and respond to our clients with a broad appreciation of
the complexity of their identityof which being abused in
childhood is only one aspect.
In terms of self-definition, all of the participants spoke
about the power and importance during the healing process
of letting go of their perception of self as victim and of
embracing the survivor identity. Referred to by one partici-
pant as a life raft during the more emotionally tumultuous
and painful parts of the therapeutic process, this survivor
identity provided the participants with a sense of solidarity
and community with others who had been traumatized as
children. It provided a more agentic and powerful position
from which to view themselves and their life and reduced
their sense of accountability for the abuse that they had
suffered in childhood. However, consistent with Drauckers
(1992) contention that this stigmatized identity can be-
come too limiting, all of the women in the study acknowl-
edged the importance of abandoning their survivor identity
later in the therapeutic process, although several partici-
pants acknowledged the difficulty of doing so. Once the abuse
was no longer an essential aspect of their self-definition and
no longer accurately reflected their sense of self and all that
they had, and hoped to, become, it was time to let this iden-
tity go to make space for the many other roles and traits
that characterized their emerging identity. As one partici-
pant said, I used to think of myself as a survivor and I dont
anymore. I think of myself as a woman, an artist.
Counselors who are doing trauma work with women who
were abused as children may need to consider this impor-
tant identity shift in the later stages of the therapeutic pro-
cess (Courtois, 1999; Draucker, 1992; Herman, 1992). In
terms of both language and process, clients may benefit from
examining the continued fit and utility of the survivor iden-
tity and could be invited to consider how the many other
aspects of who they are as women, friends, mothers, lovers,
dancers, artists, and so forth, inform their identity and sense
of self. In shifting the lens of self-appraisal from survivor, a
vantage point specifically related to the abuse, to one that
acknowledges the many other roles and aspects of the clients
life and identity, counselors can affirm the richness and di-
versity of their clients life.
Although the term survivor of sexual abuse is very com-
monly used in the clinical and theoretical literature in ref-
erence to women at all stages of the healing process and
beyond, and it is arguably more efficacious than the term
victim, the results of this study suggest, nonetheless, that it
may be insufficient and limiting. By referring to women who
have worked through their traumatic past as survivors, we
may well be condemning our clients to being forever
perceived and defined by what was done to them in child-
hood rather than by the many other aspects of their life and
personhood.
It is also important to note that, although some clinicians
and researchers in this area suggest that recovery from child-
J OURNAL OF COUNSELI NG & DEVELOPMENT SPRI NG 2004 VOLUME 82 183
How Chi l dhood Se x ua l Abus e I nf or ms t he I de nt i t y of Adul t Wome n
hood sexual abuse is a lifelong process (e.g., Matsakis, 1996),
all the women in this study felt they had reached a place
where the abuse was a part of their history, not of their
current life. They were aware of the losses they had suffered
and continue to live with as a consequence of the abuse,
especially in terms of their relationships with family mem-
bers. They also acknowledged the ongoing negative legacy
they carry with them, such as the inability to feel truly
comfortable in their body or to be as connected with their
sexuality as they might have been had they not been violated
in childhood. However, the participants had a clear sense of
being finished with this part of their life and believed that,
although there may be other issues they might need to seek
counseling for in the future, to the extent that were able to,
or needed to, they had completed the necessary work to deal
with their childhood traumas. Consistent with the experi-
ence of the women interviewed by Crowley (2000) and
Grossman et al. (1999), the participants in this study had
constructed an alternative view of the world as one that was
full of possibilities rather than as a dark and frightening place.
They now perceived their life and self as much richer because
of having had to live and work through the pain of their
childhood trauma experiences that had shaped but no longer
defined who they are today.
This finding addresses the issue of whether a woman can
ever be considered to have healed from such childhood
trauma, irrespective of the amount and quality of therapeu-
tic work in which she has engaged. Although most sexual
abuse treatment models have a final stage that is referred to
in terms of recovery or resolution (e.g., Bass & Davis, 1988;
Courtois, 1988, 1999; Draucker, 1992; Herman, 1992), none
fully focus on the characterizations of women who have
healed from such childhood trauma. A history of child-
hood sexual abuse is still commonly considered to be an
important indicator of potential dysfunction in adult life
and is a potential contraindication for participation in some
therapeutic groups and treatment programs.
Although the findings of this study do not provide a suf-
ficient basis for forming conclusions about this issue, they
indicate that counselors should exercise caution in making
judgments about the significance of a history of childhood
sexual abuse when clients, who have worked through these
issues, present for counseling to deal with other concerns.
Counselors should also be cognizant of their language, being
careful not to impose the survivor label on a client unless she
herself uses this term in reference to her own self-perception.
Also, trauma counselors who work with women who were
sexually abused as children might consider the value of help-
ing their clients acknowledge and celebrate the end of this
therapeutic work when they have come to the conclusion of
their therapeutic journey. Perhaps a transitional ceremony
of the type recommended by OHanlon and Bertolino (1998)
could be used to mark the closure of this chapter of a clients
life and the beginning of a more positive and hopeful future.
Such a ceremony is created in concert with the client and
involves both client and counselor jointly and symbolically
(a) acknowledging the work that they have done together
to heal the wounds to the self sustained by the client be-
cause of the abuse and (b) celebrating the clients growth
and change as a consequence of her strength and resilience
during her healing journey.
LIMITATIONS
This study reflects the experiences of only 7, self-selected
volunteers, all Canadian women who were incestuously abused
in childhood by their father and, through therapy, believed
they had recovered from this abuse. The participants were rep-
resentative of persons willing to disclose their experiences of
identity formation as survivors of sexual abuse. Each partici-
pant was a motivated volunteer who was clearly able to ver-
bally articulate her experience during in-depth interviews. All
data were collected through self-report. As such, the results
are limited to what the research participants were willing to
report and by their ability to articulate their experiences. Also,
given that the methodology of this study was phenomeno-
logical and exploratory, the results cannot be considered con-
clusive. Continued research will help to validate and refine
the themes identified in this study and determine the extent
of their applicability to other women who have worked
through the aftermath of similar childhood trauma.
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