Crystal Puentes EDUC 405 B - Professor Grenada Brazzeller March 21 st , 2014
My History and Positionality 2 Growing up in a lower socio-economic area, where violence and drug abuse was a part of my elementary years, I had never recognized the impact that my positionality and life experiences had in the formation of my identity and teaching. Being a Mexican America woman in the field of education at this point in time is still a rarity, which is one of the reasons why I believe it is so important for individuals from diverse backgrounds to go into academia. Todays students are tomorrows future, but in order for educators to provide an equitable education, it is important for each individual to reflect upon their positionality and begin to realize how this may affect their teaching. Positionality encompasses a persons history, family, race, ethnicity, socio- economic status, and gender. All of these factors impact the type of experiences and history that define the individuals we become. Therefore, in reflecting on my own positionality, I will be better able to evaluate and face the aspects of my positionality that have elicited certain experiences and shaped my identity; understand how my positionality may affect my ability to relate to my students in todays urban schools; and finally, encounter aspects of myself and of my students that I have yet to grasp fully. Reflecting on my positionality, there are two things that immediately come to mind; living in lower socio-economic areas and how this has affected my family and my identity. Living in South and East San Jose, I was exposed to many things that people usually do not experience in their lifetime. Although there were definitely great family moments growing up, unfortunately, its the memories involving acts of aggression, drug abuse, and my familys eviction that continually seem to stand out from my childhood. Sadly, this is probably why I have such few recollections of elementary school. But in reflecting on my past, I have come to realize just how significant these years were in shaping my identity. From having a home, to being required to live with relative after relative; I remember the night that my family was forced My History and Positionality 3 to put our things in our van and find a place to stay. Separated, due to our financial instability, I remember my two sisters staying with different friends of the family while my mother, father, brother, and closest sister in age, stayed with relatives. It was probably one of the toughest times, but it is a part of my history that has impacted how I perceive the world. Appreciating the little things in life, understanding that every individual has a story, and recognizing the importance of providing a helping hand to those in need; my background has impacted how open my heart is to not only my friends and family, but to my students. Looking back, I have also come to terms with the fact that my brother has impacted my positionality. Not finding a sense of community and support system in school or at home due to his diagnosis of having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, he had joined the gang lifestyle and quickly developed an addiction to Crystal Meth. Experiencing highs and lows due to his drug abuse, I remember the fear and sadness I would feel whenever I saw my father and brother physically fighting in our house. In and out of prison, my brother was someone I loved, but feared. Observing the power that drugs had on his life; my brother is now homeless in spite of our desire and attempts to help him. Although I was so little when the hardships began for him, his lifes story has motivated me to go to college, receive my masters, and teach in urban schools. Understanding the fact that our educational system in lower socio-economic areas has created a school to prison pipeline, Noguera (2003) states that, throughout the United States, schools most frequently punish the students who have the greatest academic, social, and economic needs (p.341). Providing the learning environment that he did not have, but yet desired; I am determined to use my experiences to help students like my brother find their way. My role as a Mexican American woman has also become a tremendous factor in my positionality. Being the minority and not feeling a sense of acceptance by the majority, it is My History and Positionality 4 unfortunate but true, that individuals are judged and generalized by their race, ethnicity, or involvement with a certain group, instead of their abilities. Lee Anne Bell (2007) summarizes a Puerto Rican womans struggles in stating that she, may wish to be viewed as an individual and acknowledged for her personal talents and abilities. Yet she can never fully escape the dominant societies assumptions about her racial/ethnic group, language, and gender (p. 9). I can completely relate to this Puerto Rican womans experience because there have been many occasions where people have not interpreted my achievements or actions solely on my abilities. When I decided to get married at the age of 21, I was asked if it was because I was pregnant. And when I was accepted at the University of California, Los Angeles, I was repeatedly told that I should be proud of my achievement being a Latina in higher education. I understand that some of these statements are not meant to be hurtful, but at the same time, I have come to realize that my identity as a Mexican American woman has impacted and shaped how people may act and perceive me. Going against the Restricting level of oppression as stated by Lee Anne Bell, it is my goal to defy this idea where, a girl in the United States in 1996, for example, if she is poor or of color, is still unlikely to imagine herself as president of a country (p.4). Understanding that my race, ethnicity, and gender may affect how others perceive me is key. However, never should it define what an individual can achieve or one day become. Race is what is seen on the outside, but what is never realized and discussed is that we all look the same on the inside. Depending on the diverse makeup of the student population at any particular school, if the majority of the students are Mexican or Latino, my ability to not only relate to my students, but also provide a culturally relative curriculum, is further permitted. Being given the opportunity to discuss culture, childhood stories, and traditions; my students will be given the chance to see their cultural backgrounds reflected in the curriculum. Also, because I am able to My History and Positionality 5 speak Spanish, I have recognized that my ability to connect with English Language Learners and their parents increases. Language is not only a method for communicating with students and their families, but it is also a reflection of an individuals culture, experiences, and identity. Diaz and Flores (2001) mention the connection between a students identity and their language by stating that, first it emphasizes the importance and value of cultural and social experiences in the process of individual human development. These experiences, in fact, constitute the childs identity; they are who he or she is (p. 44). Therefore, by relating and acknowledge students backgrounds and culture, I will be able to provide an environment that is not only culturally aware, but is also accepting of my students identities. Growing up in a lower socio-economic area, my ability to relate to some of my students struggles is further facilitated. Understanding how it feels to be hungry and struggle financially for school supplies; these are just some of the experiences that occurred during my last student teaching placement that I have also experienced and was exposed to throughout my childhood. When students enter a classroom, they are not just presenting one side of themselves; for each individual is made up of multiple experiences and histories that define who they are. Therefore, as stated by Darder (2002), . (each) student comes into the classroom as a whole person and should be respected and treated as such (p.98). With this being said, because of my experience living in lower socio-economic areas, I understand that my ability to connect and provide the support needed academically and personally to my students in urban areas is increased. Lee Anne Hooks confirms my belief in stating that, history can suggest strategies for acting in the present to address current problems and learn from past mistakes (p. 6). Recognizing that there is always a reason behind why a child is falling asleep in class, acting aggressively, or is wearing the same clothes on a daily basis; I am better able to relate to my past experiences to provide a My History and Positionality 6 safe, welcoming, and culturally diverse classroom that fulfills their needs and is accessible to all of my students. Recognizing the effects of educators on my brothers life, I have also acknowledged the impact that disciplinary actions have on a students confidence in their abilities academically and personally. When a student is singled out and yelled at, their security inside the classroom is questioned and is at times lost. Reflecting on my positionality and the effects that my brother had on my life, I am even more aware of how my actions and tone of voice may affect my students. Providing positive feedback, incorporating differentiated instruction, and creating an environment where students feel comfortable in their learning; students who need additional assistance will be given the opportunity to succeed. It is unfortunate but true, that often the label of being at risk, further debilitates students. Valencia and Solrzano (1997) explain that, part of the problem with the concept of at risk is that it tends to overlook any strengths and promise of the student so-labeled, while drawing attention to the presumed shortcomings of the individual (p.196). Reflecting on Valencia and Solrzanos explanation, I am given the opportunity to build off of my prior experiences and use my brothers life in understanding how to work with at risk students or students with special needs. Each child deserves the chance to access the curriculum, but it is pivotal for educators to differentiate students access for learning to occur. Analyzing all aspects of myself and of my students, the one factor that I have yet to fully understand is the impact of an individuals sexuality in the classroom. Whether a teacher is heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual; I have yet to fully comprehend the way in which my heterosexuality may affect my teaching. I understand that I may not be able to relate to members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer (LGBTQ) community, but I do believe in My History and Positionality 7 creating an environment where the whole child is recognized and valued. Implementing material that emphasizes the need for individuals to be accepting of each others differences and similarities, it is my goal to become more aware of topics related to the LGBTQ population. In all honesty, incorporating such topics within the curriculum is just as important as bringing in topics about race, ethnicity, and gender into the classroom. Therefore, in order to provide an equitable education that is relatable to all of my students, it is my goal to ensure that each individual is reflected in the curriculum being presented. Overall, in reflecting on my positionality, I still believe that there is so much more to learn. However, I have realized that the color of my skin, my background, the languages I speak, and my history have all impacted the person I am today and will continue to impact my teaching. I am a Mexican American woman who speaks Spanish and grew up in a lower socio-economic area. However, I am also a Mexican American woman who speaks Spanish and is currently receiving a higher education at the University of California, Los Angeles. Whether the world prefers my first or second explanation of my positionality is up to their perception and interpretation. However, in spite of what is seen on the outside, I am a human being with a dream to teach todays youth. During my first year of teaching: my ethnicity will allow me to relate to my students, my language will give me the opportunity to speak to Spanish speaking children and their parents, my experience in lower socio-economic areas will give me the chance to understand my students struggles, and my brother will affect the way that I interact with each individual in my classroom. Are there positives and negatives in being a Latina who grew up in urban schools and has such a history? In all honesty, I believe that there are only positives and challenges that I will have to continue to face and work with alongside my class. However, no matter the diversity and background of the students in my classroom, I will make sure that each My History and Positionality 8 culture, language, history, and individual is recognized and supported; for each child deserved to be an active participant in his/her learning and receive an equitable education no matter the circumstance.
My History and Positionality 9 References
Adams, M., Bell, L. A., & Griffin, P. (2007). Teaching for diversity and social justice (2nd ed.). Theoretical foundations for social justice education, (pp. 1-14). New York, NY, US: Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group, xxi, 471 pp.
Darder, A. (2002). Teaching as an Act of Love: The Classroom and Critical Praxis. In, Reinventing Paulo Freire: A Pedagogy of Love (pp. 91-149). Boulder, CO: Westview Press.
Daz, E., & Flores, B. (2001). Teacher as sociocultural, sociohistorical mediator: Teaching to the potential. In M. de la Luz Reyes & J. J. Halcn & (Eds.) The best for our children: Critical perspectives on literacy for Latino students (pp. 29-47). New York: Teachers College Press.
Noguera, P. (2003). Schools, prisons, and social implications of punishment: Rethinking disciplinary practices. Theory Into Practice, 42(4), 341-50.
Valencia, R. R., & Solrzano, D. G. (1997). Contemporary deficit thinking. In R. R. Valencia (Ed.), The evolution of deficit thinking: Educational thought and practice (pp. 160210). London: Falmer Press.