The way out

The law of a country should protect even citizens living abroad, especially when comes to family. Many women
involved in mixed marriages have to follow their husbands abroad. Many of them end up abused by their foreign
husbands. What precisely is the amount of support they can expect from their countries' embassies in the foreign
country, how much the national law supports the people living abroad who didn't give up their citizenship? s the
international law protecting the rights of foreigners? !ere it is how these things stand in "gypt.
"very article on women abuse reads, #$buse is wrong in every language% and gives the message% &on't stand for
domestic violence(% "specially in March, the Women's Month, most of the women's nternet sites fight against
violence. What exactly she, the abused woman can really do, it is another )uestion not answered yet by those articles
which seem to be lac*ing +good for their writers, the slightest bit of personal experience. $ widely distributed
"nglish magazine states that -./ of abused women leave the abusive partners. 0ut only 1od *nows how many
women would be eager to leave their abusive partners but simply can't. Why can't they? 2et's have a loo* at how
things are going in $rabian countries.
$lthough the "gyptian 3onstitution, *nown to be the most emancipated among $rabian countries, affirms
unconditionally the e)uality between man and woman, and the right to live without discrimination, women are
stripped of the right to participate on the public sphere because of the sense of ownership that still prevails in the
relation between woman and man. The effect of the large women's emancipation and liberation movements is still
indirect proportionally. This is visible in marriage too.
The woman is not yet part of the marriage contract, although she is entitled by law to choose her marriage partner4
she is rather its sub5ect matter. 6nless the woman bargained her right to divorce in the marriage contract, once
married she has no right to separation or divorce except with her husband's consent or by court order. 7or a
husband, getting rid of his wife is as simple as writing three times on a paper the decision for divorce and presenting
it to the personal status law, accompanied by two witnesses. 7or a woman, resorting to court in cases of violation of
certain rights is a very long and expensive process that only few $rabian women can afford.
$t present times, a woman can obtain a divorce only if she produces evidence that8 her husband has failed to
provide for her for minimum one year, he is impotent, he has not had sex with her for one year or forced her into
anal sex relation, he is a drun*ard, he is fatally ill, he has been in prison for more than one year or she has evidence
of harm. "vidence of harm practically means bro*en bones, bruises, cuts, and any other sort of severe physical
damage.
The #second best% for her is to file for #9hula% +denying her husband's rights as a husband by returning him the
dowry received with the marriage, and giving up the grant she would have been entitled if he divorced her, in
exchange for her freedom, by formal declaration. 9hula is not recognized in all $rabian countries. &efinitely, the
legal system is not a tool placed in the hands of $rabian women.
n the face of 5udicial masculine bias, even these can ta*e years in court. Many times the women had to wait for
years until they get divorced from the abusive partner and eventually remarry, although the period of waiting
between marriages re)uested by the slamic law is of only three months from the actual separation. The 5udges'
rulings are mostly in the favor of the husband. The #harm% clause doesn't include moral or psychic harm, which
sometimes may be worse than beating. The 5udge is allowed to use his personal 5udging in interpreting and defining
the harm.
$s most of the mental illnesses don't fall into the incidence of fatal illnesses, mentioning abuse by a mentally sic*
husband doesn't increase the prognosis of receiving the divorce. "lite psychiatrists li*e &r. $hmed :*asha, the
3hairman of the ;sychiatry &epartment who is married to a foreigner himself, don't recommend social or
environmental manipulation in most of the mental illnesses, which translates<who is already married stays married.
0esides, hospitalization is re)uired only if the patient is a danger to himself or to the society. 0ut most of the
families would ob5ect the idea of putting their sons in asylums, fearing that this would affect their social standing.
=o, in these circumstances, with uncooperative parents<in<law, the abused wife doesn't have anything left to do, but
to #tolerate the patient's difficult behavior% as &r. :*asha suggests in #1uide to psychiatry% >page ?@.
The pervasiveness of violence against women confirms that the assaults are not due to mental illness alone. Many
abusive men merely exert what they believe to be their natural right to dominate women. The popular "gyptian
saying #he slaughtered the cat for her% genially reflects that idea. f a woman fails to get a court order for divorce or
9hula, she has no choice but to live with her abusive husband, as she is legally bound to him by his rights to demand
obedience. $ccording to his rights to obedience, a husband can resort to the police to force his wife to return to the
marital abode.
The case of foreign women married to $rabs and eventually having received the $rabian nationality, mirrors the
obstacles faced in leaving an $rabian husband at their utmost. Aot only because the foreign wives don't get the
psychological support of their own families which usually live in the native country, but because most of the foreign
women don't spea* the $rabic at the time of marriage and they aren't aware that by signing the marriage contract
they actually sign up their freedom and independency.
Beceiving the $rabian citizenship, the obligation to a residential
visa is abolished. =o is the right to exit from the $rab country using the foreign passport. 7or traveling outside the
country, the woman needs a written consent from the husband. n case that she still has a valid visa on her foreign
passport, she may travel without any difficulty, but if children are involved, even with a foreign travel document she
can not ta*e her children outside the $rabian country without the father or closed to the father relatives +only males,
written consent.
:n the other hand, seldom the abused women can resort to refuges. The only form of help they can receive is advice
from help lines and medical care in cases of rape and physical abuse. Ma*ing public the phone numbers or addresses
of these refuges or protection centers is li*e a sword with to edges, since the abusive husbands may find ways to
reach them up. The abused wife resorts to the "mbassy which most of the time can do nothing because the national
law doesn't support the citizens living abroad, they don't have the legal right to act as a refuge. =ometimes even
financial aid to raise the sum necessary for returning home tic*ets is denied. The vicious rules of the law follow a
merry<go<round circle.
$t present, there are no legal representatives of abused women.
Why not a rule that husbands<to>be attend classes with graduating exams and passing degrees where to be taught
that women are neither toys or trophies nor children? Women should be given the right to decide for themselves how
much wic*edness they are willing to ta*e. The embassies given the legal power to dissolve the marriages in which
abuse occurs and complaints are proven sounds more realistic? ;erhaps it is a way to go.