STORY OF MR.

RESTLESS
By
CHINU
1
STORY OF MR. RESTLESS
PREFACE,
Yes, an autobiography. If I call it as my story it will infringe
upon the brand MY STORY by Kamala Das in English-the famous
rebel writer had penned hundreds of short stories and poems in
both the languages as well as a few novels. o that is not a title
freely available.
!here are so many autobiographies around and therefore not a
good title to use. "y E#perience is the autobiography of "ahatma
and that title could not be pic$ed up by another, much less by an
ordinary person. o let us $eep it a Story of Mr. Restless. %hile
writing this narrative story, I stumbled upon the following poem
which compounded to my confusions and swinging moods as to
whether I should ma$e this attempt , will it be possible for me,
ma$ing my tas$ more difficult.
I
I walk down the street.
There is a dee hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I a! lost ... I a! helless.
It isn"t !y fa#lt.
It takes !e fore$er to find a way o#t.
II
I walk down the sa!e street.
There is a dee hole in the sidewalk.
I retend I don"t see it.
I fall in a%ain.
I &an"t 'elie$e I a! in the sa!e la&e
&
'#t, it isn"t !y fa#lt.
It still takes a lon% ti!e to %et o#t.
III
I walk down the sa!e street.
There is a dee hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it"s a ha'it.
!y eyes are oen
I know where I a!.
It is !y fa#lt.
I %et o#t i!!ediately.
I(
I walk down the sa!e street.
There is a dee hole in the sidewalk.
I walk aro#nd it.
(
I walk down another street.
-A#to'io%rahy in Fi$e Short Chaters )y Portia *elson

o how and where to begin' (f course from the beginning. %as
the beginning from self or parents or even their parents i.e.
ancestors. )ichard Daw$ins has written a boo$ titled
*A*CESTORS+ TALES+. !he tales start with the present day
humans and goes bac$ stage by stage to millions of years,
somewhere up to +,-- million when it was assumed that the first
signs of life appeared on primordial oceans. .ut I have not learned
anything about my own parents and still less about the grand
parents. /othing is $nown about generation past.
0
Even what is $nown is confined to geographical area called
!irunelveli, Kala$ad 1 2attamdai village . 3s per popular fol$lore,
the name Kala$ad was due to one of the following4
1. !he place was a forest full of 5$alaa5 6!amil word7 tree8
&. It was a battlefield or 5$alam5 6!amil word78
0. It was the capital of 5$alapirars5 who ruled !amil /adu from
this place.
In ,istory of Tra$an&ore fro! the Earliest Ti!es, 2. 3.
an$unny "enon mentions -ala&a#d instead of Kala$$ad. 3 few
battles between the !ravancore Kings and the .ritish at this place
are recorded. 9oannes de :annoy, the only son of Eustachius De
:annoy;, was $illed in battle of Kala$$ad on 1+ eptember 1<=,
at the age of twenty. Kal$$ad was a scene of fre>uent struggles
from in late 1<,-s during the 2olygar revolt led by the 2uli !hevar
and changed hands several times../0
!he village was the capital of 2andya $ings briefly. 3 rest house
constructed by the .ritish is still there at Sen%altheri in the nearby
mountains.Even today people refer to -ottai, the e>uivalent of a
fort, in this area, though no traces of it are found today.
!oday it is all sprawling rice fields, tiger reserve and hundreds of
villages and a few townships. !he village of Kala$$ad has several
streets, running around the athyavageeswarar temple. ?enerally
the streets were inhabited by people of specific castes, though
these days one can find a mi#ture of people in all the streets. !he
village is surrounded by lush green paddy fields, with the %estern
?hats at the hori@on. "any small and beautiful waterfalls can be
seen in the distant mountains. Maalai .1arland0 ar#$i near can be
seen from a distance of almost A $m. !here are several other
temples for M#thara!!an, Isakkia!!an, S#adalai!adan and
Ayyanar in the village. Pari (ettai and -odai (i2ha are annual
festivals which are celebrated in these temples. !he forest areas
have been declared as a protected tiger reserve - Kala$$ad
"undanthurai anctuary.
+
E(E*TS CO**ECTE3 4IT, -ALA-A3
(ur parents in their early days were residents of this remote
village. !here is one smaller village a little south nearer to
mountain slop going south almost up to the end of the land,
separating !amil /adu and Kerala. "y own birth place, was
2athamadai or 2attamadai a couple of miles north $ala$ad.
2attamadai is a panchayat town in !irunelveli district.2athamadai
is the birthplace of Divine :ife ociety Bounder Cimaya 9othi. ri.
wami ivananda araswati. 62oorvasrama /ame. Dr. 2.D.
Kuppuswamy7. It is famous for ma$ing beautifully crafted floor
mats called il$ mat or Patt# Pai made out of special -orai grass,
which reminds me of naps at my $ala$ad house. . 3t occasions, I
heard from mother that father use to wal$ down to tiger reserve
forests , Chen%altheri where is a old 3mman temple to do pooEas ,
invo$ing the deity to do good for all in the village and collect
herbs , and e#periment use of herb at house. During those days
they were staying in that area. I remember something of that
location as if in a dream. "y old cousin sister aged F& now at
Kala$ad told me, after my grandfather too$ Samadhi there were
long enmity, ve#atious property dispute among their family which
resulted in disintegration of the Eoint family.
!hereafter my father planned to go to inagpore and even too$
passport photographs and filled up the formalities. ince mother
wept, he changed his plan left the village to see$ employment and
came to "umbai in search of employment and finally got his
assignment in Asthika Sa!a5 , Mat#n%a as first priest of that
temple. !o my $nowledge all thru my conscious childhood and up
to the end of elementary school, father was always away from us
and was coming to our rented house at 2attamadai for a few days
in a year. Ce brought biscuits, coloured , slate pencils to us. In
those years mother gave shelter to my uncles and close family
friends from Kala$ad who came to 2attamdai in pursuance of
good education ,which was available at )amasheshiar Cigh
chool at 2attamadai . "y father used to send remittances by
,
money order once a >uarter and therefore my mother was
managing monthly fees for school, rent of the house, maintenance
of the family, ta$ing recourse to then prevalent barter system and
through her measly savings.
Ce came home for a few days, too$ his brother also to "umbai to
wor$ a priest in Canuman !emple in 3sthi$a amaE, "atunga
!hey were $nown as )am and :a$shman in the family and in the
social circles. . It was a bac$ brea$ing Eob, as routine starts at +
a.m pooEa to 11 p.m. !hey were well educated in Dedic ritual,
!amil, ?rantam6&7 and ans$rit languages.
3s per information, mother was also from Kala$ad had several
cousins male and females. he belonged to the generation of
woman for whom sacrifice came before self. !he %orld %ar II
generation is often hailed as the greatest generation in recognition
of the enormous sacrifices the men and women of that era were
as$ed to ma$e. .
*AMI*1 C,IL3RE* I* FAMILY6
I come bac$ to the story about which we are concerned. Earlier
I mentioned about father wandering around southern !amil /adu
and even to ingapore, in search of Eob as a Dedic preist. !he first
trip might be an$aran Koil in !irunelveli . It is home to the
famous an$ara /arayanan temple. It is situated at !irunelveli
District and ,= $m away from !hirunelveli Gity. :i$e every other
temple, an$aran$ovil has its own interesting story. (nce the
devotees of :ord Cari 6or Dishnu7 and :ord hiva >uarreled with
each other to determine whose god is powerful. !hen :ord hiva
appeared as an$aranarayanar to mar$ his devotees to understand
that both Cari and hiva are one and the same. o it is held sacred
by aivites and those Cindus who believe that iva and Dishnu are
a single deity one in one and accordingly, desire to worship the two
gods into one form. rivaishnavites of !amil /adu who worship
:ord Dishnu only, have not accepted the mingling of iva and
Dishnu thus, and therefore, they reEect this deity of this temple
which depicts the concept of Cari and Caran being one ?od. It
=
houses the deity by the name an$ara /arayanan, which is half -
:ord hiva and the other half - :ord Dishnu.!he deities of this
temple are ri an$areswarar, ri ?omathi 3mman and ri
an$ara /arayanar. an$aran$ovil is also said to be home to the
deity named 3vudai 3mbal.!he general belief is that the Coly
and H2uttrumannH 62uttru I 3nt Cill, "ann I and7 that one gets
from this temple is capable of curing all the diseases. Devotees
believe that an$aran$ovils /agasunai 6sacred tan$7 have been dug
by serpent $ings named 2aduman and angam which has a
miraculous power to heal those who bathe there.
?enerally among Cindus the first boy is named after his grand
father, the second after /ana. imilarly, the first girl is named after
grandma and the second after /ani ..ut in our family their first son
was christened an$ara 3iyah after temple deity 6iva7. !heir first
daughter was named ?omathy another deity of the temple and
temple became our k#la de$ta. !he second son and second
daughter ac>uired the maternal grandfather and maternal grand
motherJs name. I was born at 2attamadai where there is only one
temple of rnivasa 2erumal 6.alaEi7 and hence I ac>uired the name
rinivasan.
O7R ,O7SE
(ur ancestral house which around 0-- years old today at
Kala$ad village was almost at the centre. It was a traditional type
called /alu$ettu comprising + main areas. In front a long
veranda6thinnai7 then a wide passage to go in. (n the side were
two grain or other strong area constructed in wood. !hen the
KmittamL an all purpose area open to the s$y in the centre. %ater is
stored around here. .eside it is a hall where all functions are held,
guest accommodated etc. !here is another store room with a
window to the veranda. !he first passage, wood fitted and the other
storey with window are on the same line and there is an upper
storey where used utensils and grains are stored. !he upper part is
accessed thru a wooden stair case on the side of KmittamL. !he
<
stair reaches a low ceiling area from where a door opens to
bedroom 6machel7.
3dEacent to the KmittamL is the wor$ place are where the grains
are threshed, ground etc. 2arallel to it is a $itchen that is accessed
from the hall. .ehind the wor$ area and $itchen is a low veranda
where various house hold implements are $ept for ready use. !here
is a *"()IJ as well where utensils are cleaned. %ater storage
vessel of various si@es are $ept in that area. (utside of these is
open $itchen garden with coconuts, neem, muranagai -Morin%a
oleifera tree, vegetable patches. /ot all homes had wells. !here
was one in ours. 3ll other house holds in that street got water from
a common village well a few feet away. In our house the well had
water throughout the year. 3t the end of the $itchen garden there
was a cowshed. !here were a cow and calf in my memory.
FIRST SC,OOL 3AYS4
:et me go bac$ once again and try to recapture the childhood
days. I remember my first day at the elementary school at
2atamadai -)amashsheshiar Elementary chool. I went to the
school along with my elder sister. Instead of going to 1std, I went
to the +
th
std along with sister and too$ seat for the whole day much
to amusement of other students and teachers. It was an elementary
co-education school from class one to si#. !he classes were not
separated but conducted in one hall. %e had a te#t boo$ to study
and slate and pencil to write. /o paper or note boo$. !he school
was situated ne#t to the row of houses at the southern end. !he
medium was !amil. !here was nothing spectacular to the school
life. !here was an anniversary celebration when students competed
in several games and winners given pri@es. 3ll the cultural
activities were confined to school anniversaries where pupils
enacted some or other scenes from $nown dramatic plays, s$its
fancy dress and Kolattam 6traditional !amil dance7 by girls. I
donJt remember having received any. Yes, there was one pri@e for
being first in class &
nd
or 0
rd
but not sure. !he pri@e was an empty
in$ bottle.
A
3nother event that comes to mind was a magic lantern show,
precursor to film show. 3lmost the whole village was there to
witness it. (therwise it was an uneventful school life.
!he main village deity is lord,2erumal . !he temple was a small
structure right at the ban$ of a rivulet. 3ll in and around the
villagers too$ bath in the stream. In the rainy season water flowed
full swift and fast. !here used to be a temporary mud and thatch
dam to trap water for summer. !he dam gets breached by rain
water. It used to be reconstructed yearly thereafter. !here were
separate bathing ghats for .rahmin males and females and other
castes as well
Bour festivals were celebrated in the temple, the F days
/avratri, the Dinaya$a Ghaturthi, Krishna Eayanti and chariot
festival in Dec-9an 6on 1-
th
day of Dhanu month7. !he first was too
modest. !he village streets are divided into F sections and house
holds in each will be contributing to the pooEa and offerings for the
evening. !he offerings are both in snac$s and sweets. !hey get
distributed to devotees coming to the temple. (n Dinaya$a
Ghaturthy it is one common preparation. During the Krishna
9ayanti children go for door to door collection of !il oil 6gingelly
or sesame7 and hand it over to the temple. !he chariot festival is
an elaborate one when temple deity is ta$en on a procession. !his
lasts for an hour or so. !hen the deity is transferred into an
elaborately festooned chariot. 2eople drag the chariot. !he chariot
will be stationed at the south end of the village street. !hen after
bursting some fire crac$ers and show of fire wor$s the deity ta$en
down the temple sanctum for last pooEa.
(n the festival day a good number of people of all castes and
religion assemble in the village premises, devotees, visitors, traders
peddling wares and entertainment groups etc. ince these people
are believed to pollute the village and the deity also, a ritual
purification is conducted in the morning after the festival. !hen the
deity is ta$en down to be bathed in the stream before it was ta$en
and installed in the sanctum of the temple.
F
OT,ER E(E*TS I* T,E (ILLA1E6
(n another occasion Eust days before the chariot festival many
got affected with s$in infections a number of malignant eruptions
all over the body ma$ing impossible to cover by cloth. Cerbal oil
and hot herbal bath every day and confinement at home na$ed.
!hus we missed the celebration on that season.
(n those days small po# was common. It is considered to be the
result of curse from goddess "ariamma 6 In "aharashtra the name
is "ari 3ayi7. !here are small temples some with a roof and many
without. Bamilies of affected visit and offer prayers at the shrine.
!here used to be no medical care e#cept a bed of neem leaves. !he
afflicted is left alone in the care of one or two low caste puEaries
who invo$e the goddess thru special songs to the accompaniment
of hand held drums6-han5ira.7 !his ritual goes on all day till the
patient regain health or passes away. .In our village for that mater
in any village in !amil /adu Kali or Kali 3mman was considered
as the causative force for cholera and "ari was considered as a
causative force for smallpo#, chic$en po#, mumps and measles
."aari in !amil means rain. ince the rainfall cooled the otherwise
hot area and protected people from summer sic$nesses li$e viral
infections, people started worshipping the rain goddess as "aari
3mman.
%henever a small po# affliction is $nown, the house hold and
all others in the entire street vacate them to stay with others, a little
distant from the location. I remember such an occasion when a
whole street on the way to school was barred for wal$ing thru. %e
too$ a long circuitous route, three or four times long.
3t sometimes an official medical team visit the village for sign
of any infectious disease. !hey also vaccinate small children
against po#. elf also was vaccinated ma$ing a couple of round
incisions on each arms. !he vaccinated area swell and body
temperature goes high for a couple of days. !he lacerated wound
ta$es more days to cure and dry out. "odern methods are much
more different and easier.
1-
AT -ALA-A3
3t my parents village Kala$ad the two events very ha@y is
lingering in memory. (ne was an earlier event, when self along
with the others of family visited an isolated farm house with a
pond nearby. !he occasion was some auspicious celebration in that
house. I donJt recollect any names or their relation to us. !he place
was a big coconut grove with a lot of other fruit trees. !he house
was big and tiled and had wooden grilled long veranda on two
sides. 3lso there was a parrot in a spacious wooden cage. 3ll other
details are missing from memory.
!he second was again a visit to a smaller farm house. !here
were coconuts and other trees and one hut with thatched roof.
!here was a stream flowing on one side of estate and water was
lifted to water the trees and shrubs. 3t a little distance was a shrine
beside a pond with stone steps on all four sides. !he name of this
location eludes me.
!he !amil calendar is punctuated with festivals. In no other
month does the festival mood spreads unbro$en over one full
month li$e "arga@hi. Bestivals li$e Dinaya$a Ghaturti, Krishna
9ayanti, Dusserah and $anda hashti is of unlimited duration
during the other months.!he month of "arga@h in December is
uni>ue. !he entire atmosphere of our village is suffused with
religious fervour and sanctity that draws people from different
sections of the community. M3mong the months, I am "arga@hi,5
said :ord Krishna in the ?ita. %rapped in shawls or bare bodied,
people Eoin bhaEan groups and go round the streets, unmindful of
the cold and nipping air. %omenfol$, particularly in villages and
small towns, decorate the front yard and the streets with stri$ing
$olams made of rice flour. 6/ow-a-days lime powder is the
substitute for rice flour7
In the month of "argha@hi, on the day of !hiruvadirai star and
new moon coincide 6also $nown as 3rudhra7 in the !amil month of
"argha@hi 6DecemberN9anuary7, is one of the two stars that have
the prefi# K!hiruL signifies arrival of !hiruvadirai,. (n this day of
11
!hiruvadirai star, we celebrate the cosmic dance of /ataraEa or
hiva. . (n this day all the people worship :ord hiva, the
destroyer of !amasic or evil forces within us and the %orld to
enEoy peace and bliss.During 2rayers 63arthi7, .haEans and
devotional songs, particularly K!hevaramL, K!hiruvasagamL and
K!hiruvempavaiL, are Eointly sung by all family members. It is a
must that all family members visit a iva !emple, particularly in
the late evening and see pecial 3bishe$am being done to :ord
/ataraEa
!his Shai$ate festival *Thir#$atiraiJ is an auspicious day
throughout south India. It is something special in our homes. 3part
from visiting hiva temples the day is celebrated with songs and
dance, mainly confined to ladies. !he day comes in the month of
Dhanu i.e. Dec-9an. !he natives prepare and put up swings in their
house compounds. ?irls sing while swinging on them. It is called
Thir#$atira Patt# .!hey train and rehearse for days in advance of
the auspicious day. ?irls and women go singing at very early
morning to have their bath in the rivulet. !his goes on for certain
days. !his apart a special preparation called Thir#$atirai kali,
Thir#$adirai Adai 8 simple food made from cereals and 9aggery,
with Thlaka -h#2h#!'#8 a type of Kootu made from seven
vegetables, is made ,which is very delicious.
Kala$$ad is home to an ancient temple dedicated to
athyavageeswarar 6:ord iva7. !he other principal deity is
?oddess ?omathi.!he temple is a symbol of anti>uity.It was built
by emperor Deeramarthandar.!he )aEa$opura of this temple is one
of the highest landmar$s in 3sia, with a height of 100 feet.3n
interesting fact about this temple is that during &-,&1,&& days of
"arch and eptember, sunlight will directly fall at the prominent
god of the temple, lord athyava$eeswarar.
1&
3part from male gods, !amil .rahmins in village worshipped
goddesses 3mman or 3mbal meaning mother. Every one before
entering the village will give their offerings to the Issaki A!!'al8
a %odess e!owred with Shakti O a small temple in the road side.
Burther there are Cero stones 6/adu$$al or Deera$$al7 . these
stones provided for the males who sacrifice their life for good
causes. ati stones are the stones provided for females who
sacrificed their life for certain specific purpose, especially for
chastity and purity. !his category includes people who lived and
lost their lives for their community and hence their community
members still remember them and worship them. !his group also
includes persons who were $illed by inEustice and hence were
worshipped in order to save the village from their wrath. !he
worship for the fallen brave warriors is one of the popular forms of
worship in our village. !he portrait of the hero is often decorated
with peacoc$ feathers. !hese Knadu$alsL are now called as 3yyanar
shrines.

!he government or the administration in those days was
represented in the village by a hereditary .rahmin officer named
3dhi$ari. !here were two uniformed sepoys under him. Dillagers
report all births and deaths in their family to the 3dhi$ari. It seems
that law and order also was under his Eurisdiction. "y eldest cousin
sister aged F& still residing there , whom we meet very often ,
says in those days there were no reports of thefts, fights, dacoits or
murder in or around our village. uch reports were from far off
places. In those times marriages were conducted for four days.
!here was such a marriage function at 3dhi$ariJs family and some
govt officers came to attend it in motor cars. !hey were curious
e#hibits to the village children. %e hovered around it all day. 3part
from this one occasion no car came to the village in my memory.
!he village was too close to forests on the slop of southern hills
and one or twice spotted tigers visited the village. 2eople $ept
10
themselves indoors after dar$. !here were no street lights around
the vicinity. In monsoon floods in the rivulet people used to see
small forest animals or reptiles struggling to get out of the water.
"any were Eust dead bodies. I have not seen any. (nce a python
escaped from the water and too$ refuge in a cow shed. It was $illed
and carried away by the 3dhi$ariJs men. It is reported that they
peeled its s$in for selling and collected the fat to brew oil. It was
supposed to be medicinal. !hey call it K23".I/ /EIYL 6sna$e
ghee7 !here were elephants in the forest but not too many. 2eople
were e#tremely superstitious in those days. !hey believed in witch
craft and resorted to it in order to bring bad luc$ or harm to ones
adversaries. "ay be it was considered a law and order problem and
dealt accordingly.
Kala$ad is also famous for lion tailed mon$eys, elephants and
water falls. 6Bondly called as -ar#n%al kasa! and The%ai #rali.7
%omen members in our family were not allowed to go there
because it is located in the forest @one. 3fter my marriage, me, my
brother in law, cousin brothers, and my wife went by bicycles to
!hengai Prali. !his location is a scenic beauty surrounded by
Tha2ha!'# shrub 6Kevadaa , Keta$i, Keora in Cindi, crew 2ine
in English7 with its fragrant flowers. "y daughter was fortunate
that right from her infant days she Eoined me to !hengai Prali
water falls. %e have to go by bicycle for around 0 $.ms from our
house , halt the vehicle in a adEoining village and wal$ for half an
hour through the dense forest and thereafter for another fifteen
minutes through a rivulet with $nee deep 6 hi dee to shorter
eole like !e7 waters to reach there. . "y daughter was fortunate
enough see this place as I used to ta$e her when ever I was at
Kalal$d especially during 9une to 9anuary , or during the onset of
monsoons. %hen my daughter was seven years old , we pluc$ed
!ha@hambu flowers from there and decorated her braided hair,
with it in traditional 9adana%a! style and photographed her in a
local studio. !ha@hambu in .rahma5s story as a cursed flower.(ne
of the sayings of Ghana$ya stresses its pleasant smell4 O ketki
1+
flower: Serents li$e in yo#r !idst, yo# 'ear no edi'le fr#its, yo#r
lea$es are &o$ered with thorns, yo# are &rooked in %rowth, yo#
thri$e in !#d, and yo# are not easily a&&essi'le. Still for yo#r
e;&etional fra%ran&e yo# are as dear as kins!en to others.
,en&e, a sin%le e;&ellen&e o$er&o!es a !#ltit#de of 'le!ishes<
"any a times my mother- in- law also Eoined us. %e use to ta$e
tasty pac$ed tiifins prepared by our aged cousin sisters to this place
li$e going for picnic. (n return Eourney we pluc$ lot of 9amun
fruits from lot of 9amul trees around there . . %e also pluc$ plenty
of raw mangoes, in seasons and hand it over to our cousin sisters
for ma$ing pic$les. Every time I go to Kala$ad myself and my
family doesnJt miss these water falls e#cept that now days because
roads are well developed, we go by auto ric$shaws.
SOMET,I*1 ELSE6
In everydayJs life it is difficult to pass a day without having
seen someone with some $ind of fear. "ost of us are imbibed with
fear from early days of life by elders, Eust to ease out their Eob.
2arents cultivate this fear when are children. I was no e#ception.
%hen I refused to hit the bed or cry for no reason , or finish my
food ,or $ept on playing without doing homewor$ ,my mother used
to scare me with remar$able success that Poo&handi. oo8 &han
8dee = e>#i$alent to 1a''er Sin%h of fil! sholay0 .,will ta$e me.
"y image of Poo&handi had been, one who had matted hair,
brownish, with un$empt beard red eyes and dressed in rags, some
$ind of a cannibal delighted on human meat. 3nother character
whom I was afraid of was 1#d#%#d# Pandi. In my childhood days
I have seen 1#d# 1#d# Pandi8a terrorising loo$ing beggar with
long beard and turban who used to visit every house in the early
morning with an odd instrument in his hand which made sound
li$e *%#d# %#d#+. I was always afraid of this man and when ever I
heard %#d#8 %#d# sound I remained indoors. . I wondered why he
comes in early morning. !he villagers had a belief that he visits
1,
graveyard in the mornings and comes with magic powers of atan.
If we donJt give him clothes, he will curse us and do harm to us. It
too$ some time in me to get rid of this fear. In those days people
had fear of different $inds. 3ll in good faith but superstitious acts.
!here is nothing more I could recollect about life in these villages.
/o friendship were $ept and followed in later days. ome times in
.ombay I was introduced to individuals from the village. "uch
later I heard of an organisation in .ombay made up of people from
the village in my occasional tal$s with my elder brother. .y
sentiments he got connected to it. 3ll that is said about earlier will
show that life in the village was uneventful. Everything went on as
per schedule and predictable.
(E3A PATA,SLA AT -ALA-3
ruti and mrithi are the two authoritative sources of the
Cindu philosophy. ruti literally means what is heard. ?reat
)ishis are said to have heard the eternal truth and left a record of
them for the benefit of the future generations. !hese records are
called the Dedas. !hey are said to be delivered by the :ord
himself. !his is considered as the primary authority as against the
mrithi which are secondary. !he teachings as well the method
of teaching are uni>ue. It has stood the test of time and ages.
!hese teachings are 3nadi, without a beginning.
In the ancient days students were taught Dedas by their gurus,
in what was $nown as ?uru$ulavasa. tudents were re>uired to
stay with the ?uru for a few years and learn the Dedas. Dedas as
well $nown are mainly for in numbers, namely, )ig Deda, YaEur
Deda, ama Deda and 3tharvana Deda. !hese Dedas are very
elaborate and re>uire a lot of time for a student to learn. )ig Deda
re>uires about , years, while YaEur Deda re>uires about < years or
more to learn. Cence, )ig Deda, the most popular Deda was ta$en
up initially. !his was followed by YaEur and other Dedas.
3gama sastras e#plain the procedures and methods of
performing various temple rituals and pooEas. 3t the end of the
1=
,th year or so a student became well >ualified in Deda as well as
3gama sastras.
In tune with this conviction a Deda patasala was established
by my elders with the funding of local philanthropists at
Kala$ad .."y Periyaa . fathers eldest 'rother0 and other
learned Dedic scholars taught several students Dedas in that
school. . Young boys in the age group of < to 1- years from the
village and adEoining districts were selected and enrolled as
students. !he selected candidates were taught in the traditional
manner. !he course was residential one. /o fees of any nature
were charged by the Patashala for imparting this study. 3fter
completion of the course a student were re>uired to wor$ at main
temple as part of their practical training. During this period the
candidates were taught other scriptures such as .agawad ?eeta
etc
Every day in the evening the villagers mostly .rahmins meet
and chant Dishnu sharanamman. 3part from Prasads at the end
the main head of the 2atshalaa used distribute 1N+paise coins. I
remember faintly to have received the same.
!he last one to teach there was my co brother who died of
cancer, Ce taught scorers of students free Dedic educations , many
of whom are well placed in India and abroad . In these serene and
sylvan surroundings, the chants of Dedas used to reverberate
throughout the day. In modern times the concept of teaching has
changed rapidly. %ith the influence of the .ritish culture and
education systems, this age old scheme of study has become
e#tinct, with the result very few students ta$e up these studies. !his
is purely due to lac$ of creation of proper logistics for the teacher
as well as the students for imparting this great traditional
$nowledge. It has become very difficult for any guru to ta$e up this
cause individually, as maintaining a team of students has of
economic implications. It is difficult to locate students, who are
interested in learning and also there are very few dedicated and
good teachers. 3bove all most of the .rahmins in our village have
migrated selling their land and properties and are into other
1<
professions Cence this noble structure today it is being used for
religious functions and meets.
MY PARE*TS
K.. 2arvatham 3mmal died at the age of <1,during December
1FA=, two months after my marriage , the improtanat milestone for
which she seems have held her breath, after devoting a lifetime
towards her home and family. he belonged to the generation of
woman for whom sacrifice came before self. !he %orld %ar II
generation is often hailed as the greatest generation in recognition
of the enormous sacrifices the men and women of that era were
as$ed to ma$e.
"y mother, 2aravatham who died &= year ago at the age of <1
was nearly a life long resident of 2attamadai - Kala$ad in
!irunelveli District, where the live river !ambarabarni flows
throughout the season. he migrated to .ombay for fulfilling her
duties to her children in late fifties in >uest of her childrenJs higher
education. he will remain a true representative of that generation
in my view and all the reasons why it was called the greatest.
Cer life was neither e#traordinary in any way nor even remotely
connected to the larger events of the day8 nor, her sacrifice of
historic magnitude. %hen war was raging else where, she was a
young wife and mother who lived with her husbandJs close $nit,
tradition bound, puritanical, priestly Eoint family, which she
embraced as her own. 3nd the sacrifices she made were of the
*everyday $indJ, li$e giving up something here and something
there so that other could benefit. !he women of her generation
were ones who were accustomed to ma$ing, without >uestions.
:i$e most women of her time, my mother was raised to believe
that the needs of others came first. !he idea of pampering oneself,
something that women of my generation claim as *their rightJ,
1A
would have been dismissed by her right away even if it did occur
to her.
"y maternal grand mother was the epitome of strength8 her
contributions in educating her sons were noteworthy. /ot
withstanding the trauma, pain of arthritis and rheumatism, which
crippled her movements, she managed to educate all her three sons,
who were the first in our family structure to ac>uire a degree. 3s
has been the tradition my mother, the eldest in the family too$ care
of domestic chores. he was e>ually responsible for motivating,
encouraging and supporting her brothers to pursue higher
education though she herself was a primary school drop- out.
3t age of 10, she married my father a Dedic priest with great
aspirations and even greater talents. "y father migrated to .ombay
along with his younger brother and was wor$ing as a chief priest of
)am "andir at "atunga, acting as the sole breadwinner of not
only my family but also his brotherJs family. In 1F,0, with the
blessings of Cis Coliness 9agadguru ree an$aracharya wamigal
of Kanchi Kama$oti 2eetam, the 3sthi$a samaE !emple attained its
full-fledged status by installation of idols of :ord ree
)amachandra, itadevi, :a$shmanan and Canuaman in a specially
created ?arbagriha. !he big .anyan tree outside the temple is
believed to having fulfilled the desires of the devotees.
.ac$ at a time when even a rupee went a long way, his measly
salary as temple priest had to travel that e#tra mile to provide for
1+ people 6me, my & brothers, & sisters, 0 uncles, his brothers
family of 0 persons and 0 of my mothers brothers7 "y mother
managed the family budget with the remittances he made and
managed her family of , children meticulously, without resorting
to regular borrowings. . he bought a rental house at 2attamadai so
that her children and her brothers could pursue higher, >uality
education where renowned )ama esha Iyer Cigh chool was
located. he also accommodated two of her family friendJs sons
who had come to ta$e high school education in that house.
1F
2rior to this, my mother assumed the eldest daughter- in- law of
the Eoint family, responsible to the fulfillment of the needs and
welfare of her husbandJs parents, some of his siblings and their
children as well. !his role and the new reality that came with it O
she accepted graciously. In return she earned the love and respect
of every one in her new family. !he warmth and $indness were
e#tended to her side of the family as well.
!hrough these initial years of hardship this young woman
stood solidly8 encouraging her brothers and all her children to
pursue modern education. 3t the same time she managed to
maintain e>ual chord and harmony in holding closely the ties with
her elderly in-lawsJ at Kala$ad.
3ll this of course, did not mean that she was a mee$ woman.
"y mother was a woman of grit which was particularly evident
during trying situations when $ith and $in became ill and needed
care. he was not the $ind who would be afraid to ta$e care of
several tas$s at once. he never winced at wor$, her own or that of
others, thrust on her. %ith the stewardship of an army general,
marshalling her measly resources, she ran a large house hold of her
own that at times included the e#tended family of relatives and
friends as well.
In the early fifties when my eldest brother completed his :G,
she directed him to shift to .ombay, and search for a Eob.
3rdent devotees of the )am !emple, who had profound respect for
the Ghief priest 6my father7, helped my brother in getting a
mediocre Eob. "y brother was unable to cope up with the tedium,
poise, the stress and strain, of urban life. /or did he e#ude
confidence in his Eob. "y father use to receive complaints from
his bosses who are also devotes of the temple that his son his bland
in his Eob. Emaciated, weather beaten, unable to overcome
persecution with confidence my brother returned to 2atamadai. "y
mother continued her sincere tireless, purposeful mission of
arranging for a Eob to my brother. he wept at the shoulders of all
&-
and sundries at 2attamaadai, imploring them to arrange for a Eob to
his son. . )ecogni@ing, the ordeals of my mother and respecting her
sincere mission, her close friend "rs. 2ahi mami represented my
brotherJs case to her husband "r. Ghellappa Iyer who held a
managerial post in a multinational ban$ at .ombay. Ce arranged
for a servant pass to my brother for underta$ing the Eourney to
.ombay. "r. Ghellappa Iyer not only used his clout to arrange for
a decent Eob to my brother in a multinational .an$ but also ensured
that he is at peace with his wor$. In a months time my brother
lived up to the e#pectations of his superiors and his confidence
with the Eob made satisfactory progress ,resulting in he being
confirmed into the services of the ban$. %ith the additional
income, of my brother supplementing the family, and sigh of relief
of his confirmation in the ban$ Eob my father conserving his
savings dared to buy a tenement under the .ombay Cousing .oard
allotment scheme at an obscure suburb called Ghembur. 3 little
about the then situation at Ghembur. Ghembur was not part of the
city. !here was single line rail connection from Kurla but it was
not connected to main line. !here was no govt. mil$ supply. /o
.E! service.
.ut still my mother decided to shift her family to .ombay.
Brugality was a way of life for her. he shifted the entire household
articles, including the *3mmiJ and *3ttu$alJ 6grinding stones7,
carrying me 6the youngest child of the family7 in her arms from
2attamadai to .ombay underta$ing the tiresome third class steam
engine travel. In spite of the fact that it was her maiden trip to
.ombay she made us at ease through out the Eourney. During the +-
day travel, not even a single naya paisa was spent on buying food
from outside as she managed to pac$ home made foods to last the
entire Eourney.
In .ombay too her day would typically be filled with chores she
did or supervised8 supplying endless cups of freshly brewed coffee
to visitors who came to our house, sending fresh, home coo$ed
brea$fast, lunch and dinner to Eust about anybody $nown to her 6if
&1
they were in need7 and my father. he was always being prepared
to offer food and a variety of snac$s at a momentJs notice to a
stream of visitors, guests that included relatives and my friends.
)ight from cleaning the washbasins, toilets in the early morning,
brooming and mopping the floors, arranging for my fatherJs pooEa
materials, cleaning the pooEa room, ma$ing Idli batter for ne#t day
in a hand grinder, to sprin$ling bleaching powder in $itchen sin$
and bathroom at night was single handedly carried out by her. In
addition to this her outdoor chores included daily procurement of
>uality vegetables and provisions from the mar$et bargaining for
the *fair priceJ, she decides. he carried the vegetable and
provisions load without escorts or coolies. he developed her own
Cindi-"arathi-!amil dialect with vendors and she was very
popular with them. %henever I used to cross the mar$et along with
her most of the vendors will greet her as *A!!aL. he was a true
intrepid human dynamo, who never ever whispered the word tired.
Cer greatest talent was that she could coo$ a variety of delicacies
for more than 1-- people without any assistance during functions
and festivals. Even while attending functions of friends Nrelatives
she would radiate cheer and trespass into their $itchen sei@ing the
initiative from them and with Qlan and ease finish the preparation
of food mar$ing that occasion, before the scheduled time. he was
a source of comfort to many families and friends in this regard.
Cer manner was direct. he spo$e her mind. %hen it came to
e#pressing an opinion- and her opinions were sought fre>uently O
her single pointedness came clear. !a$ing on the welfare of others
was rather a second nature to her. In a 0---s>ft asbestos-roofed
housing board tenement she provided space, time, comfort and
inspiration to, my uncles, my cousin brother 6who she insisted
should Eoin her in .ombay for his Eob placements7, me and my
siblings and also other relatives. 3ll the members of the large but
closely-$nit family were treated uniformly with e>ual love and
care for each.
&&
During these years through his own remar$able tale of hard
wor$, tenacity and winning ways without stri$ing compromise on
principles, my father saw that fortunes of my family rose
meteorically as he managed to arrange for a decent Eob for my
elder brother also, e#erting his divinely influence on men in
responsible position who can throw their weight.

.alancing the saving in the ban$ account he decided to buy an
ownership flat at Ghembur and we moved to spacious house. Even
though her life now was much more comfortable, my mother never
forgot where she came from and remained the same simple,
selfless person that she had been earlier. 3nd this Kforgiving and
giving spiritL of hers helped many in the community. !ogether with
my father she became a nurturing and guiding force for a new
generation of my nieces, nephews who continue to cherish fond
memories of her.
"y father had an athletic build and countenance that e#uded a
sublime charm and teEas. 3 rudra$asha mala around his nec$, a
deep Dermillion tila$ on his forehead and a sprawling long $udumi
made him loo$ divinely intense and *teEaas. !he family members
and his friends hugely respected him for his sage advice on various
issues and fair pronouncement in matters of dispute.
2rotesting against the frea$ish behaviour, under the guise of good
managements by the managing trustees , who e#ercised disguised
hegemonic control and e#hibited e#pansionist designs in hiEac$ing
the serenity of this place , commerciali@ing it ,by planning
installation other idols , against the basic tenets of its founding
obEects , to satiate their own greed and personal power "y father
>uit the temple Eob. Ce loathed commerciali@ation of temple by the
amaE authorities. Ce often lamented for performing, *archanasJ,
of the hundreds of devotees in a specified morning and evening
hours against his conviction as he had to ta$e often short cut
routes to please them for he could not chant the full *shlo$asJ of
&0
repeating each devoteeJs *?othramJ and *na$shtramJ and in whose
name he had to perform. /or did he prefer to earn underta$ing
ritualistic tas$s of the community even though he was much sought
by well-wishers and religious heads in our community, as he hated
commerciali@ation of Dedic profession. Ce was a great ans$rit
scholar, mastering the *?rantham scriptsJ and all Dedas, slo$as and
hastras. .ut he never believed in astronomy and man gods.
During the time my father wor$ed for the temple he too used to
visit home only once in two to three days, as there were no
transport services from Ghembur to "atunga in those days at
0.a.m, which was the time he would return home after performing
the K?anapathy pooEaL. Even if he did come home braving all
odds, it was too late in the night when he would reach home. 3t
that hour of the day I used to be asleep. Even when he would leave
the ne#t day to resume his duties at the temple, it used to be too
early in the morning for me to be up. Ce would leave early enough
to catch the crowded first 3mbernath local to "atunga, wal$ing all
the way from chembur to Kurla station 60 $.m wal$7 following the
railway trac$ and all the while I would still be asleep. "y father
having been somewhat a rebel himself saw no point in preaching
conformity nor did he e#pect from me.
;;;;;;;;;;
I am the youngest of their , children. Goming of age in the
*opinion filledJ 1F=-Js8 my ideas were shaped by the so called
K)adical 6'7 2hilosophiesL. I for one often loo$ed things
differently from my mother, father, brothers and sisters.
K?eneration gapL, a catch phrase bac$ then, defined our relation. I
fought to have my way in every thing. I got a decent Eob on
completing my degree 6first in my family7 I pursued trade union
philosophy instead a building a career in the .an$. I was mostly
away from home and I used to visit my parents as per my sweet
will and desire. !o my surprise my mother never opposed
vehemently, my life style but was worried that I missed good home
&+
food. he would prepare my share of food everyday irrespective of
whether I went home or not. %hile I used to lead morchas in the
vicinity of our locality at Ghembur raising full-throated slogans on
behalf of few organi@ations that I and my close $nit friends formed
from time to time, espousing some trade union or social cause, my
mother, 6if she accidentally happen to locate me during her outdoor
wor$7 would trespass and wade through the crowd without any
inhibitions or preEudices to Eust tell me Ktoday I have prepared your
favorite dish. Do come home.L
he did oppose many of my plans but she also agreed to meet
me half way, which meant that she had to re-evaluate some of her
convictions. I did many things I wanted to, independently and
small victories gave me enough heady feeling. Cer greatest
satisfaction was my marriage to a girl of her li$ing and choice. .
"y wife was the grand daughter of my fatherJs sister who died at
prime of age. "y mother sympathi@ed with the plight of my
mother- in- law who had seen vicissitudes of good and evil
fortunes. "ore over my wife was reared in my fathers elder
brotherJs6Periyaa7 family which symboli@ed true Dedic shastars
as my KperiyappaL practiced *a%nihothraJ607 despite facing bro$en
marriages of his daughters, true to his convictions. <. Cis sonorous
rendering of Dedas would resonate throughout the house, infusing
it with an aura of divinity.
!he story of this a%nihotri+s first two daughters is a lachrymose
tale of unproductive, battered, shattered married life, tragic
separations at the early stage and therefore having no siblings. Cis
third daughter was married to an academic scholar, ..3 in those
days, a good high school teacher. a close relative, who lost his
wife at the early years, .ut he suffered a paralytic stro$e after
Eust few years of his married life and she was ta$ing care of him
till the rest of his life, running from pillar to post for his
treatments. he also did not have any children. .ut these cousin
sisters of mine nurtured and nourished many siblings in our family
&,
tree. I am told that theJ thottil+ 6cradle7 which had swinging cribs or
"thooli" 6 - a hammoc$ that5s hung from the ceiling rather than a
stand. to help the baby sleep, also called in India as ?hodiyu or
ghodiya pronounced it as H?od-yuH7was swinging continuously
li$e oneJs heart beat or as the a%ni of that sacred, serene
a%nihothri+s house for many years. !hat his last son completed his
?raduation in Birst Glass Conors brought the much awaited cheers
in their otherwise not so blissful life. Ce came to .ombay in search
of a Eob and got a good placement because of their blessings in a
multinational pharmaceutical firm. Ce stayed with us till his
marriage to my 2eriyappaJ first sisterJs6 my ?Athai< 7 third
daughter who was wor$ing with a /ationali@ed Insurance firm.
Despite being a rationalist I will evaluate "y *2eriyappaJ to be
above all the han$araacharyaJs of that time and of today for his
simplicity, serenity, satvic principles and his utter devotion to
Dedic science and philosophy. "y wife was a balance mi#ture of
spirituality and modernity. "y mother- in -law and my wife filled
the vacuum in my life caused due to my motherJs death vindication
of my mothers correct choice and acceptance.
3 wee$ after my marriage on 01-1--1FA= my mother had her
second paralytic stro$e. 9ust a year ago she had the first stro$e.
Demonstrating will power and courage she fought the attac$ boldly
and s>uarely and resumed her household chores defying medical
advice. !hough I could visuali@e the onset of another paralytic
attac$ on the day of my marriage itself, she pretended to put a
brave face, suppressing the symptoms Eust to ensure that my
honeymoon plan doesnJt get aborted. ince my in laws were
employed, my wife accompanied me in the morning on my onward
Eourney to my office. I use to drop her at our Ghembur house to be
with my ailing mother and assist my father throughout the
treatment period of my mother, which of great solace to them. .
ince I used to go home late , after attending to my mother for the
full day , after my sister in laws return form wor$, she learned to
&=
go to /erul independently after catching a state transport bus from
Ghembur in the evenings !o go to my house at /erul to attend to
our usual house hold chorus.
In her waning years, her bones and Eoints had become too
fragile and left her bed ridden, crutches dependent and was in
chronic pain, indeed a punishment for a women $nown for feisty
spirits. Cer body could no longer $eep pace with her mind, which
was still over drive. 3nd yet, she never stopped practicing her own
uni>ue brand of loving and caring.
Cer body gradually ravaged by series of debilitating ailments,
tiresome, painful treatments, that the best and most compassionate
care could not do much about and overcome by unbearable pain,
my mother 2arvatham 6mountain 7 finally gave away in her battle
to live, in a government hospital. he is greatly missed by children
and grand children.
%hile my initial reaction was to lament the cruel blow fate has
dealt our family, robbing us of two generations of guidance I
remembered the following story4
?A !an with dee de$otion and faith in 1od dies and finds
hi!self walkin% alon% a 'ea&h@ ,is life+s e$ents flash in front of
hi! and arallel to this, he finds two sets of footrints .his and
1od+s0@ ,e thanks 1od for 'ein% with hi! thro#%ho#t his life@ '#t
then he noti&es that d#rin% diffi&#lt ti!es of his life, there are only
one set of footrints@ 4hen he !eets his Maker, he 'itterly
&o!lains of a'andon!ent d#rin% diffi&#lt ti!es@ 1od s!iles and
says6 My silly &hild, those are My rints, for, it was I who was
&arryin% yo# on !y sho#lders d#rin% those eriods:
A!!a, where$er yo# are, I a! s#re, the selfless and de$oted
!other in yo# is &onstantly 'lessin% #s and rayin% for the welfare
of all@ If I &o#ld e!#late yo#r >#alities e$en in the tiniest 'it, I will
s#re t#rn o#t to 'e a 'etter erson@ May 1od 'less e$ery &hild with
a !other like yo#: May ,e rest yo#r so#l in ea&e: I will &ele'rate
&<
yo#r life than !o#rn yo#r assin% away@ Yo# will &onstantly
re!ain in !y tho#%hts@ I will !iss yo# tho#%h Ma ?
(n the occasion of the first death anniversary of my close friend
harmaOa friend par e#cellence, while inaugurating the "adhuram
3pplam factory, which he launched, designed and wor$ed for it
wherein harmaJs mother 6a replica of my mother7 , a native of
!hrvaiyar , the place where the carnatic classical maestro
!hyagaraEa was born and lived. O participated, shared the dias,
overpowering her emotions and tears, a new reali@ation was
dawned on me, as I &o#ld see !y !other in her. 6
Though the merciless fire consumes mortal remains, the
intrinsic, inane, human qualities and love of a mother and
their memory engraves in our heart for eternity- as
Mothers do not expire. They inspire.
3fter my mother death my father went through bouts of
depression for a prolonged period. %ith me migrating to /erul
separating from the Eoint family soon after the marriage, others in
my house employed, he felt too lonely in the house. i# years after
my mother death i.e. during 9anuary 1FF& he died of paralytic
stro$e li$e my mother. I was with him through out his period of
hospitali@ation doing three shifts, as I did to my mother, and he
died, before my eyes li$e my mother, with none of my family
members around. Ce was very happy and proud that I was
nominated as the Director of the ban$ representing wor$men by
the ?overnment in 1FF1. .ecause of this elevation, seeing me
dropped by the .an$sJ vehicle during .oard "eetings, finally, he
appreciated my consistency in union wor$. . During the period of
his hospitali@ation before going to coma stage he was in profuse
praise for the principles I hold in union and social life. , above all
being helpful to others in times of need, albeit the fact remains, I
did not raise to his e#pectations neither spiritually nor materially.
OT,ER MEM)ERS OF MY FAMILY
&A
"y eldest brother was the first Eoin my father at "umbai.
taying in the Asthika Sa!a5 temple premises itself along with my
father and my uncle he was fortunate enough to get a decent Eob in
a multinational ban$ with the contacts of my father. Ce is the
fatherly figure to all us, a perfect disciplinarian, and too$ care of us
very well. Ce had good handwriting and was good at map
drawings. Ce had a penchant to diari@e important facts and events,
such as salaries handed over by my uncles, and co-brother who
was staying with us, monthly budgeting for provisions etc,
including recording our mar$s in the e#aminations in his diary. Cis
map drawings in my primary school days were treated as models
by the class teachers. Ce is today retired from his services and well
settled.
"y elder brother had a singular privilege of continuing his
studies at 2attamadai and Kala$ad. %hile all of us came together
to "umbai as e#plained earlier, he refused to get admitted in
"umbai schools. oon after his high school studies he got a Eob
through my father Sa!a5 contacts in a ?erman petrochemical
comple# . !oday he is retried and well settled. Ce has ta$en to
spirituality and does our traditional morning and evening pooEas.
"y eldest sister did not complete her high chool. .ut a the end
of every academic term during my primary school days, she copied
notes of my close friend and that of 6they were in different
sections7 my sister who were two years senior to me in her
beautiful handwriting and offer to me in silver platters for me to
mug in advance before the commencement of the ne#t year. During
every monthly test or >uarterly e#aminations she used as$ me
>uestions form her written notes and test my proficiency in studies.
.eing the first marriage in our family, her marriage was
performed with pomp and grandeur with the a!a5 se$aks
swinging into action in reverence to my father. .ut she had a
&F
disturbed married life. 3nd her children and she stayed with us
away from my brother in law for many years. 3fter my schooldays,
reconciliation was struc$ and my brother in law constructed a
house at Ghennai. .eing a victim of bad traits succumbing to the
temptations of becoming rich overnight he lost his fortune
incurring huge debts and he wal$ed into debt trap from which he
could not e#tricate himself and his family. I was constrained to
buy their house through my staff housing loan scheme to bail them
out and my three nieces who were in their school days. I renovated
and constructed a first floor with great passion,with my ban$ loan
ta$ing two months leave , staying with my close friend at
Kalpa$$am , nearly 1-- $.m from the site. I use to ta$e up the
first bus around +.a.m from Kalpa$$am, after supervising the
construction wor$, and arranging for bric$s and other constructions
materials, paying the contractor his dues, use to return bac$ to
Kalpa$$am mostly ta$ing the last bus from Ghennai by
11.p.m..%hen brother-in-lawJs debts reached astronomical levels
and he plunged his family into debt trap, soon after my three nieces
completed their college studies, I brought them bac$ to my house
at "umbai, selling my house at Ghennai, where they lived for a
pittance in 1FAF. !hereafter all my niece got a decent Eob. I and
my brothers arranged for marriage of two nieces. (ne niece fell in
love with person of other caste, her office colleague and I too$ the
responsibility of performing her marriage, when she was ostraci@ed
by other member of my family for deciding to get married to a
person from other caste, daring all odds. !oday they are well
settled. %hen the news regarding my brother in lawJs death
reached us, none went to conduct his last rituals. I too$ the flight to
Ghennai, along with my last niece and after performing the
obse>uiesJ of my brother in law, I went to the lodge he was staying.
I stumbled upon a ?ovt. 2ension 22( and with my contacts
ensured pension for my eldest sister. . Brom there on she has been
drawing a decent pension, with revision after every pay
commission at Ghembur, I(. branch and leads contended life
today.
0-
"ost of my schooldays were spent with my elder sister. !hough
she completed her =th std. at our native place, she was admitted to
+
th
standard by the school at "umbai. he found it e#tremely
difficult to cope up with English, Cindi and "arathi, being brought
up in !amil medium in the native place. he used wor$ed very
hard in her studies, along with the household chorus of assisting
my mother. I remember up to my F
th
standard she used to comb
my hair, put vermillion on my forehead, smear my face with
powder , and carry my bags to the school bus,despite the fact that
she was only three years older than mine. he preferred Eob after
her school days though I was goading her to continue her college
education soon after I Eoined the college, citing e#amples and
success stories of many who attended to morning 3rts colleges
along with their wor$. Bortunately I could wor$ out alliance for her
with my own office colleague. !oday she is well settled. (ne of her
daughter is married and the other one has lucrative Eob in a private
.an$ and is in the verge of getting married.
MY SOCIO8 POLITICAL E37CATIO*
%ell supported by my best friend from my school days who
was wor$ing as a 9unior cientific (fficer at ))G , Kalpa$$am in
pursuance of our social mission, I wor$ed with villagers in
Ghengalput district , tribes of /ilgiirs, and with the te#tile wor$ers
at "umbai, setting up various organi@ations along with my
progressive li$e minded close $nit friends .. !hrough periodic
discussions which often stretched to late nights, our thin$ing
became radicali@ed and e#panded its hori@on. . "uch of my earlier
understanding on literature, culture, heritage, tradition, religion,
society and politics were upset forcing me to review them. I was
also attracted to attend political meetings held in and around
"umbai. 3t the wor$ place I had a radicalised well read colleague
with communist leanings. I became active in all political
movements in "umbai at that time attending all the programmes.
01
/ehruJs boo$ titled Discovery of India inspired me. . I bought one
copy. :ater I tried to read it but understood little still completed
reading. !he boo$ is a narrative of Indian history that was not
attempted by any one else.
!oday I could say that reading Karl "ar#, :enin and "ao-se-
!ungJs collected wor$s and other wor$s and Discovery of India,
:etter to Indira by /ehru, and participation in te#tile stri$e
activities carried profound effects to me personally. (n those days
I was not aware of the changes in thin$ing that slowly and
increasingly coming thru reading English papers, maga@ines and
boo$s. (ne of my regular wee$lies was 2eoplesJ 3ge, a communist
party paper and /ew !imes published from "oscow. .oth carried
features analysing political developments as well as theoretical
articles. In due course I was more and more influenced with
communist politics and ideology. I remember reading and
absorbing the highly analytical and boo$ length treatise in reply to
congress accusations written by the then ?eneral ecretary of G2,
comrade 2.G.9oshi. !his completely convinced me that anti-fascist
war waged by then oviet Pnion and allies was primary, %inning
the war against /a@i ?ermany. Bascist Italy and 9apan ultimately
facilitated the winning of freedom from .ritish Imperialism. !he
battle of talingrad and also the fall of .erlin instilled and
increased admiration of many to oviet Pnion. %e all felt that the
victory over fascism was the outcome of oviet ocialism. It
e#hibited the tremendous staying power of oviet system and
stamina of soviet peoples.
!here were other friends who helped in understanding these
English writings. I read that in 1F+A or so the communist party of
India held its second congress where the party too$ an e#treme
position. It said that the 3ugust 1, freedom was sham and wor$ing
class and its communist party should oppose and fight the congress
lead govt, wor$ towards revolutionary over throw of the govt.
During the congress 2.G.9oshi was removed from post of ?eneral
ecretary. ..!.)anadive who prepared thesis for the congress was
elected as ?eneral ecretary. In china there was a civil war going
0&
on between communists and Kuomintang. )anadiveJs thesis
envisaged and advocated a similar civil war in India. 3ll these
brought govt action banning the party in several provinces but not
in .ombay 2rovince. till the party was not wor$ing so openly. /o
meetings could be held e#cept on "ay Day and /ovember < i.e.
(ctober )evolution in )ussia. 3nd finally another communist
party emerged out of a division within the Gommunist 2arty of
India 6G2I7, in 1F=+. During Kerala :egislative 3ssembly elections
of 1F=, the party had adopted the name 5Gommunist 2arty of India
6"ar#ist75 in order to obtain its election symbol from the Election
Gommission of India. (nce again in 1F=< the G2 further split and
6G2I-":7 was formed which gained a strong presence among the
radical sections of the student movement and intellectuals. 3ll
these reading had a profound effect on me.
.ecause of the concern shown by te#tile activists to their Eust
cause and also combined with my own convictions, I too$ more
and more interest in not only in te#tile stri$e actions of 1FA-Js but
in communist ideology as well. .ut me and my close friends did
not ta$e membership of any factions of G2. 3 few leadings
activists of many mass organisations in "umbai used to meetus
regularly at first but some of them became defunct a little later due
to no programme of activities. "eetings became occasional and
informal. 2eople connected with all these activities recognised me
as a mature activist. I was able to e#press my thoughts both in
English and Cindi though haltingly. "ost of my e#perience was in
spea$ing to small groups of people and not in a meeting where
people of other persuasion may be present. !hough, mass meetings
were held from time to time I myself refrained from spea$ing due
to difficulties with language. (nly after getting involved in trade
union activities, I started spea$ing to bigger audience.
MY MARRIA1E 6
.ecause of my association and identification with communist
party activities, my family people were concerned that I going out
00
of the folds of the .rahmanic traditions and he might bring home
some or other non-.rahmin bride. 3t that time i.e. in early A-Js I
was not thin$ing of contracting any marriage rather I was $een to
get more $nowledge of ideology and activities to bring social
changes. Cowever, there were irritating moments in my relation
with family members at home. !o resolve the tension I offered to
my parents that they are free to find and contract a girl of their
choice, whom I will marry. !hen I went to Kala$ad on leave. I
found a girl of my choice from our own orthodo# family. I did not
worry about any thing at all and spo$e to my parents who approved
the same.
!he marriage too$ place on (ctober 01, 1FA= 6 Indira ?andhiJs
assassination day 7 at my own Ghembur residence and food was
served at my close friends residence in the adEoining lane - a place
which I can rightly call it as my first house , where I spent prime
of my life. !he arrangement was to economise to the utmost.
(nly members of the two family, countably finite close friends
participated. !he two families reached the place a night before the
day and ceremonies were over by afternoon ne#t day. 3ll too$ a
train two days later to go bac$ home. "y eldest maternal uncle, - a
post graduate in "athematics and ans$rit, a rebel in :IG ,
renowned for e#posing :IG *s policies in pseudonym names in
news papers, was $ind enough to ta$e my relatives to .ombay
sight seeing. oon after my marriage I separated from our Eoint
family at Ghembur to $ic$ start life at /erul , that time an obscure
developing place at /ew "umbai, much to the an#iety and
disappointment of my parents especially my mother. I remember
the day I decided to brea$ away from Eoint family, Eust carrying
an old utensil of my mother for memories sa$e and buying a pair
of mats and pillows while catching the bus to /erul in the night .
)est of utensils and other need based household items , gas,
cupboard , mi#ers, grinders, !D, etc and furniture were met by me
from my measly savings and staff loan scheme of the ban$ over a
period. .
0+
3 little about the then situation at /erul at that time. !here was no
rail connection. /o .E! service. 3s more and more wor$men
came to stay at /erul and they started mingling the idea arose to
organise a association to demand railway line and .E! services. .
%hen ma$ing connections with people in the formation
associations, it was found that among those who came forward,
many were inclined to fight for common causes, irrespective of
their political moorings. 3 few were committed activists in various
mass movements. (ur demands were heard with sympathy and
action was promised.
It might be in order if I ta$e pause to summarise my life e#perience
up to that time.
"y brahmanical bac$grounds and beliefs were more or less intact
during my school and college days Cowever, all daily rituals li$e
sandhya vandanam and gayatri Eapam were discarded not
voluntarily but out of circumstances. Disiting temples on
auspicious days continued, lasted for a few days. I was orthodo#
enough with no thoughts of >uestioning it. !he >uestioning came
to mind as I went on reading all $inds of boo$s. (ne of the boo$s I
read was philosophical wor$ by GE" 9oad a .ritish socialist of the
time. !he title I do not recollect today. It discussed e#tensively
about god the (mnipresent 6sarvavyapi7 (mnipotent 6sarva
sha$tan7 and (mniscient 6all $nowing7. (ur own concept was
same. 9oad e#tensively analysed almost the entire implications of
those concepts and thru logic and reasoning refuted them all. !here
were no need for churches, mos>ues and temples if the god is
omnipresent. !here should not be any calamities or evil if the god
is omnipotent. !here are no needs for prayers and rituals since, the
god is all $nowing. !here were much more arguments and details
in that boo$. I was impressed by all these. !his gave a new insight
to my ans$rit readings and thin$ing on it. pecifically the /yaya.
!he /yaya philosophy does not recognise a god as such.
Everything was considered as a matter of consisting of 3nu, earth,
0,
water, air and space. /yaya also recognised Deda as one authentic
evidence along with other cognitives.
"ore and more of such thin$ing turned mind from gods,
religions and rituals. %henever, I read articles or boo$s affirming
god and religion, my response was to thin$ reasons for their
refutations. "an should depend upon himself to attain anything in
the process of living. 3ll men and women are e>ual and the
difference in religion, castes and gender is illogical and false. (ne
should overcome all such differences and cultivate the approach of
e>uality. 3ll my later encounters and understanding of communist
ideas or ideology were in conformity to my denunciations of god
and religion. In due course of time I was able to e#press those
ideas in discussion with others. I never thought that my thoughts
and $nowledge are complete or sufficient and therefore I went on
collecting a number of boo$s as well as lot of oviet, Ghinese
publications in English. I went on reading more and more on
social-political >uestions, history, science topics and classics.
ome are namely )amayana, "ahabharata, .hagawata boo$s on
Ppanishads and philosophy. I was reading "ar#, EngelJs, :enin
and talin and a lot of communist literature. 3long side I went on
to red glimpse of !he Cindu philosophy which has si# separate
branches or systems in 1. "imamsa. &. an$hya. 0. /yaya-
Daisheshi$a. +. Yoga. ,. Dedanta and =. :o$ayata. /one of them
recognise a god as popularly conceived and accepted. In "imamsa
the idea of an 3purva that is not e#actly a god. !here is a good lot
of "imamsa literature that argued against the vedantha. am$hya
has a 2urusha that is e>uated with god or 2aramatma by later day
philosophers. /yaya-Daisheshi$a accepted veda but not the
thoughts of Dedanta. till later day philosophers brought it in line
with Dedanta. Dedanta has no god as such but an all pervading
3tma or 2aramatma. Yoga has no philosophy as such but later day
commentators made it an adEunct to Dedanta by ma$ing yoga as a
way to e#perience spirit or atma. :o$ayata is in denial of all the
earlier five but we have no authentic wor$s in e#position of this
0=
philosophy e#cept for bits and pieces >uoted by opponents of
lo$ayata .
!hough many of my mass organisation activists as$ed me to leave
my ban$ union ,so that I can be resourceful 1 devote full time and
be active in the union for unorganised formed by us, as a precursor
to Eoining G2 faction, I did not do so.
MY 7*IO* ACTI(ITY6
(n 1A.0.1F<+, I stepped into Indian (verseas .an$, "atunga
.ranch, holding a first class Degree in cience in the discipline of
the most difficult subEect -"athematics in one hand and an
appointment letter to Eoin Indian O$erseas )ank in another,
wal$ing slowly but confidently with hope of becoming an officer of
the ban$ in deference to my parents, brothersJ wishes. . /ether me nor
anybody at that time, including my close friends who had
profound influence on me ,imagined that I would be one of
:eaders of a mighty Pnion of this ban$. .eginning my career as
cler$ I began asserting myself on many union matters with the
conviction of independent non political trade unionism .Doing my
duty honestly and sincerely I started to ta$e part in the Pnion
activities slowly and won the heart of few activists who were
disenchanted with the functioning of our regional unit at that
time in "aharashtra. Colding secret meetings in gardens, we
formed pressure groups and started >uestioning the might of self
styled, authoritarian, corrupt leaders at that time in helm of the
union affairs in the regional level, who were hand and gloves with
)egional "anagement to harass, victimi@e members who defied
their unreasonable instructions.
In 1FA-, I became E#ecutive Gommittee "ember of the
union in "aharashtra )egion and since then onwards it was my
onward Eourney further in the union. During this period I was
committed for the downtrodden and wor$ers and stood for the
cause of labourers, "ill wor$ers N slum dwellers and fought
0<
many battles for them. %ith this bac$ground, many in my union
were loo$ing forward to me as one dedicated and true comrade
who can ta$e the fight to the other camp.
During the !rivandrum conference, in 1FA&, when one of the
activists in the opponents camp was hit by the ceiling fan in the
train and was profusely bleeding , I pulled the chain, ran ahead of
the engine , shouting slogans and stopped the train in motion and
ensured that he as given first aid by the railway authorities. !his
act of mine tilted four more votes in my favour and I went on to
become 3sst. ?eneral ecretary of the union and continued in that
position till 1FF1. In 1FF1 I was co-opted as ?eneral ecretary
6acting7 in the vacancy arising due to resignation of then ?eneral
ecretary and in 1FF& was elected as ?eneral ecretary in the
first conference I presided over and submitted my first ?
report. . !wice I was nominated by our Pnion on .oard of
Directors to represent wor$men. 61FF1 and &--07.
%ith sheer determination, guts and honesty my team in
nascent days in "umbai gave new dimension to the definition of
leadership. I ac>uired basic $nowledge of .an$ing, :abour :aws.
%e had the tenacity, capacity to wor$ for hours together and
never say die attitude. %e made others comfortable to wor$ with
us. 3nd even when things didn5t go the right way, our sangfroid
saw it through. "y commitment to application came with an
altogether different dimension of emotional capacity Oempathy
for fellow men.
%hile not engaged in trade union wor$ and political activities, I
loved to tal$ out problems with my colleagues , followers, and
close friends , be they domestic, office or any others cropping up in
society and the community. Gric$et, Bootball, Coc$ey in outdoor
ports, huttle .adminton, !able !ennis, Garrom in indoor sports,
!re$$ing, ?ardening, Goo$ing, short story writing, other writings,
0A
researches in specific subEect from time to time, surfing net
continues to hold my interest.

!he multitude of papers presented by me in international
seminars was acclaimed by the participants. .Gontrary to other
unions report I use to wor$ very hard to come with, informative
circulars and voluminous ?eneral ecretary5s reports in every
conference which has reaching impact on the trade union map of
our country
%hen I loo$ bac$ at the path that I have had to traverse all these
years in the union I feel immensely satisfied that we have been
able to contribute, though in a very small measure, to the healthy
growth of the trade union movement in our ban$, under the banner
of 3ll India (verseas .an$ Employees5 Pnion. !he Eourney that
started in "umbai in the year 1F<,.from "umbai to Ghennai, the
Eourney was an uphill tas$. I was greatly inspired by the accolades
showered on the union and the dynamism of its visionary
leaders-Gom.G.).Ghandrase$aharan and Gom.2..alagopala
"enon who were wedded to the motto *ervice to humanity is
ervice to ?odJ. !his benevolent tendency had ta$en deep roots in
my mind of even during nascent youth days in union movement.
!hey played a significant, sterling loan innings in the union .under
their leadership our union canvas began its prowl. !hey
consolidated their $nighthood at the barricades and earned eternal
goodwill of being ac$nowledged as *leadersJ of leaders.
I chose trade union as my field out of conviction and choice
and not y chance .!he urge to wor$ for othersJ cause, particularly
who were helpless grew more and more as I advanced in my
career. I could tremendously demonstrate the same in my long
career of nearly four decades in our .an$ and in the unfinished
Eourney of three and half decades in our Pnion, serving my co-
wor$ers N membership with devotion and dedication all through.
0F
In Ghennai I found an understanding, caring companion in
Gom.:..alasubramanian, who successfully steered our union out
of the difficult period of early nineties. I had long innings with
him. %e have batted together in all weather foul or fine. %e
endured the test of time. %e have been comrades in arms
recogni@ed as $aria'les '#t inseara'les. %e have tried to be
discipline soldiers. %ith our hands free, with no fetters, observing
self discipline was all more important for us. . Ce has been a true
inspiration and a role model for me. .ut for his un>ualified
support I would not have had the measure of success in the
discharge of my duties and responsibilities as the ?eneral
ecretary. %e girded our loins, printed our weapons and sallied
into negotiating tables often and imbibed again 1 again of the
dynamic law governing strategies and tactics and the chemistry of
victory, while redressing grievances of members at ban$ and
industry level .
/ot withstanding the pangs of hunger , the wrac$ing torment of
the bodily pain due to fre>uent trips and tours, relative
discomforts of lodges and Eourneys, away from my sweet hearts at
the family all the time, the ferocity of my burning soul, livid at the
inEustice of the absurd situations of I.3N ?overnment combine in
vice grip of I"BN%. directives who e#ercise remote control of
wage free@e, down si@ing, outsourcing etc. in every negotiations,
I undertoo$ strenuous tour of all southern states and some in then
north, east ,west 1 north east , despite my frail health and our
organi@ational preoccupation. I addressed meetings in my own
style, drawing rapt attention of the overflowing members in all
occasions and built confidence among the general ban$ employees.
I have the privilege and distinction visiting over !""" ranches in
I#$ in the length breadth of the country, a good record, and
could establish contact with union wor$ers at the grass root level ,
in the process was fortune enough to $now 1 understand India *s
heartlands and its toiling people.
+-
I was adept in handling domestic en>uires, defended scores of
employees in the disciplinary proceeding, pic$ing holes in the
charge sheet, drawing strategies in cross e#aminations , referring
to scores of court cases in law Eournals and carved out niche that
a case entrusted to me is life restored and well insulated in the
comity of unions and ban$ employees.
"any people believe in courage of their connections, but I believe
in the courage of ones convictions. 3nd this courage of ones
convictions theory alone propelled me and superlative confidence
alone sustained me in the dar$est moments.
.efore I bring the shutters down of my union wor$, I would li$e
to reproduce what )avi ubramanian, the author of *I .ought the
"on$Js BerrariJ, shared with his readers, which touched his heart.
It was written by his colleague, who on reading his first boo$, KIf
?od was a .an$erL, came up to him and pulled out a crumpled
paper from the depths of a folder she was carrying. he said to him
that she had written this poem a few days into her first Eob.
Kometimes in my mind, a thought does dwell,
Cow does one live life well'
)eligion, status, money and fame,
Is one taught to play this game'
%ith scruples to $ill, for all that is nice,
Does honesty really pay a good price'
.affled, IJm sure, you may feel,
!his winding road to get uphill.
Conour and pride are all yesteryearJs charms,
/ow it is one after the other, out to harm,
Cumanity for sure has ta$en a turn,
I bet, ?od himself is saying K%hat have I done'L
+1
Each one is out to beat the rest,
%ith morals and values put to test,
Cow much is true, who is to tell,
?odJs heaven on earth is turning into a hell.
.ut life is short and its end is certain,
ItJs all in the rise and fall of a curtain,
3nd, when it is time for you to pass,
2repare for the >uestions that Ce might as$.
- /eomi :obo
!his poem, however, is a sad commentary on what people
actually end up doing in their pursuit of success. Engulfed in our
desperation and dauntless enthusiasm to ac>uire name and fame,
we often tend to pay no heed to scruples, conscience, morals,
values, honour, prideR the traits that ma$eth a human. uccess at
the cost of humanity is not worth fighting for. It is not something
which you deserve and it will not stay with you forever. 3t some
point or the other, it will desert you and you will never again get an
opportunity to own one in your entire life.
!he most derogatory thing about time is its infinite capacity to
generate the moment. !he most profound thing about time is also
its capacity to reconstruct the past. Every thing in my life as a
trade union leader in particular is a $aleidoscope of time,
inspiration, memories, pains, e#hilarations, e#altations and
ecstasies, achievements and failures all brac$eted as nostalgia. I
will be approaching the @ero hour of union activities shortly. I
propose to dawn new avatar, bac$ to teaching college students up
to graduation level "aths to $eep me preoccupied. . If I had not
already left a message, by my thought and deeds, dedication and
devotion all through my 0, years in the union movement to my
members Othen I have no right to leave a message today which
+&
could come from my heart at the fag end of my trade union life. .
!he greatest tribute my union could pay me and our fraternity is to
maintain healthy traditions and continue to march.
I note with satisfaction that our union has today grown by
leaps and bounds, and is in the vanguard of every struggle
launched by ban$ employees. "any things have been done by our
union for betterment staff .but w had loo$ed beyond the normal
portals of union world of immediate demands and issues of
members alone and has strived to contribute for the betterment of
society underta$ing community development proEects and social
proEects form time to time. 3mong many things we have done for
members and society, I will consider one lac tree planning
programme which we undertoo$ in five southern district spending
)s+-N- la$hs partnering with IC3 foundation,- 2roEect-?reen
Cands, commemorating unionJs diamond Eubilee, and
regulari@ation of over one thousand casual laborers engaged by
he ban$ for prolonged period with low adhoc wages, into
permanent employment through a historic settlement I will
consider as significant.
%e have had a generation of men and women who founded a,
nurtured and nourished this organi@ation in its inceptive days from
whom we have come to enEoy the use of vast hoard be>ueathed to
us and transmit to future I(. men that hard augmented by fresh
ac>uisitions. %e and our predecessors have in the process met
inevitably many trails and tribulations but enEoyed the fragrance of
success and happiness. 2erformance and insight and vision of our
predecessors have stood the test with our signing praise of them
whenever we meet our goal and perspective in the union is
always geared to this end. %e have dared and while daring we
have ta$en songs and sorrows with e>uanimity, not resigning to
static happiness of human fossils who have succeeded in avoiding
unhappiness and pain it is our tradition ageless and eternal. I am
indebted them. I owe my success to them.
+0
3fter all, in life also many things happen without giving a
sense of totality. 3nd then, the hori@on is bec$oning us with ever
e#panding possibilities. %e begin the fresh Eourney in our union
after reaching superannuation from the ban$s services with faith
in our heart and speed in our muscles. 3nd if we ta$e glory in
anything, it is that our whole life has been dedicated to service of
our members and for espousing trade union cause. KI say again
and again to our members that our foremost aim is to maintain
our unity and indivisibility. %hen we attend your problems we
only e#ercise our power which goes on increasing with every
application and is never lessened .It is not that you get something
today and tomorrow you grow wea$ and get nothing.L
I reali@e the union has miles to go, as new problems come up,
new challenges arise, new solutions have to be found, new
advances have to be registered, and new facts and even new
statistical material have to be ta$en note of and to be able to $eep
pace with it , there has to be continuous and additional change in
study and trade union education and its approach to modern social
dilemmas.. I recall here my earlier observation that I never thought
of myself having a complete grasp of anything, ideas, thoughts,
acts or behaviour. I am an ordinary human with more ignorance
and defaults than thought of by others. "y personal life was
mostly public and little private.
3t this hour, my mind goes bac$ to literally thousands of images of
the past that have e#hilarated me. 3ll great Eourneys I believe are a
continuum towards a vision. 3s one who has led you through thic$
and thin all these years to the best of my ability, I hope I have
shouldered the responsibility that was thrust upon me by my
predecessors, to r utmost satisfaction of my members. I too$ the
wor$ seriously but not myself. I wish to advise my members that
none is indispensable. !he world continued to prosper even after
++
some of its finest leaders departed and will do so even without the
best of you. imilar shall be case with 3ll India (verseas .an$
employees Pnion. :et no one mista$e it. IJve learned a lot along
the way from my peers, superiors, and subordinates ali$e. ome of
the best pearls of wisdom are the most simple and many came from
some of unobtrusive members. Every one of my members has
contributed to who I am today. .ecause of them, I have achieved
much more in life that I ever had a right to e#pect, and have
become much richer in spirit. !hey are also the reason that me and
my family that I loo$ forward to the ne#t chapter of our lives, with
no regrets and with every e#pectation that your nurturing
friendship will continue.
%e peopling the present at least some of us commit the error of
thin$ing and tal$ing of our inheritance from our forefathers. (ur
traditions and ourselves. :ittle do we reali@e that besides this we
have a commitment to stand before the bar of future as borrowers
from our children O posterity. once we reali@e this we would reali@e
also our responsibility to the future both immediate when we
ourselves would be reapers of what we do presently and distant
when our posterity will Eudge our performance as borrowers from
them I was conscious of this and not allowed myself to fettered
with fi#ity of views .
Goncluding I confess that I am unable to resist the temptation of
indulging in certain musings.
(ver the years I have passed in the union, the days we have
preserved together with good and evil fortunes without the
slightest wea$ening of our will power or division of our strength,
over the days which we entered into without doubting the cause
and upon a single spontaneous impulse at the call of the hour, over
the days we strove and struggled at thereby. :oo$ing bac$ on the
insurmountable perils which we had passed through and at the
mighty as well as measly foes we met fought and laid low we are
+,
brimming with confidence that we have no fear of future. Buture is
chalice of opportunity. It bec$ons us. !he union shall march ahead
without flagging, flinching or swerving. !he union in its onward
march as hereto shall before e#pect no reward, see$ no profit,
stri$e non compromise. Its activities once again shall be Eudged by
first its convictions and then by posterity.
(n the dar$er side, I nurse a feeling that I could not inspire,
develop any successors manifesting my thought my thought, deeds
and actions in the union. !he following unforgettable words of
)aya2id )ista!i8 a s#fi eot reminiscent of !y restless life is
echoing today in my hearts while I am planning to wither away
from my union activities shortly.
!he ufi .aya@id says this about himself
?I was a re$ol#tionary when I was yo#n% and aAI !y rayer to
1od was6
BLord %i$e !e the ener%y to &han%e the world.+<
?As I aroa&hed !iddle a%e and reali2ed that half !y life was
%one witho#t !y
&han%in% a sin%le so#l, I &han%ed !y rayer to6
BLord, %i$e !e the %ra&e to &han%e all those who &o!e in &onta&t
with !e. 9#st !y fa!ily and friends, and I s...hall 'e &ontent,+<
B*ow that I a! an old !an and !y days are n#!'ered, !y one
rayer is,
BLord, %i$e !e the %ra&e to &han%e !yself.+ If I had rayed
for this ri%ht fro! the start I sho#ld not ha$e wasted !y life
MY SLEEPER CLASS TRAIN TRAVELS
Ironically, the more I travel by 3G three-tier or by fights on our
trains these days , than$s to getting reimbursement from my
union , the more I begin to appreciate the pleasures of me
traveling plain sleeper class in the eighties and early nineties with
+=
my own funds. . . !his is although, or maybe precisely because
IJve been travelling e#tensively since 1F<A in connection with my
union wor$. .In "umbai Ghennai route due to my fre>uent travels
many !GJs, vendors , attendants vendors in leading stations all
became my friends .
%hy, whatJs wrong with 3G three-tier, you as$' It is, well,
suffocating. (ne is so completely cut off from the sights and
sounds that one associates with train travel. You canJt loo$ out of
the window, and even if you are on a window seat, you have to
really wonder how it is on the other side of the tinted glass. Is it
sunny or cloudy' Is it cold or warm' Is it really windy or Eust the
train trying to live up to its reputation of being an e#press' 3G
travel does not help you with answers to these >uestions. /or does
it let you enEoy the tadak8tadak of the train, as it rolls along the
rails. "ind you, this is the most fundamental aspect, the very
essence of train travel, this tadak8tadak sound. It is to a train what
a#! is to the soul. It is a sound which has to get inside you and
touch the very bones to give you the thrill that comes of travelling
by train. E>ually thrilling is the rumbling of the train as it crosses a
bridge. !he longer the bridge the more e#citing it is. 6"y favourite
is the crossing of the river Krishna Eust before DiEayawada when
one is northward-bound.7 3s a child I always loved to peer all the
way down at the river-bed while crossing rivers with my head
pressed to the window, and enEoy the $ic$ I got at the way my head
reeledS7 Pnfortunately, such thrills stop short of an 3G coach,
which is more or less acoustically sanitised in this matter.
I havenJt even mentioned the countryside yet. IsnJt that the most
e#citing part of travelling by train' Bor me, it certainly is. %hen
one sets out from Goimbatore to "umbai by Kurla E#press, the
train sna$es its way through the Kongu region with its beautiful
paddy-fields ringed by coconut palm trees. !here are lovely farms
with groves of coconut and occasionally, mango. !he soil is blac$
O you can see this from the fields that have Eust been ploughed. 3t
alem, the route branches off from the Ghennai line, and the train
+<
chugs away towards .angalore. !he countryside here gives you a
sense of isolation, and nature overwhelms the settlements, which
grow increasingly few and far between. !he stretch up to Cosur is
remar$ably beautiful, with its undulating terrain and the hint of
woods here and there. 3s the train ma$es its way into Karnata$a,
then 3ndhra, and finally into "aharashtra 6where it ma$es its entry
from the olapur end7, the soil grows red, brown, blac$ish and then
brown again while the tiled roofs of houses in the countryside are
replaced by thatch, slate 6particularly around ?ulbarga7 and once
again, by red tiles. !he fields give way to waste land and craggy
hills of roc$ before agricultural land claws its way bac$ up to the
trac$s. 3nd then there is the beautiful stretch, the ghat section
between :onavala and KarEat, where the large number of tunnels is
as great a source of delight as the breathta$ing valleys.
(ften, when you wa$e up from your siesta and begin to wonder
where your train is, a sense of geography is offered by vendors and
the myriad wares that they are presenting for sale. En route to
Delhi, 'hel#riwallahs doing the rounds of your coach >uietly
proclaim the trainJs entry into the !elanganaO Didarbha country.
/agpur announces its pro#imity in oranges being sold in bagfuls.
3gra and "athura are indicated by bo#es of etha, the sweet for
which the former is especially famous. (n the "umbai route, the
:onavala &hikki serves as an easy mar$er of oneJs geographical
moorings.
I always feel it is easier to slip on and off for food whenever the
train halts if one is travelling sleeper class. Cere too, the food on
sale on the platform gives you a good idea of where you are.
"aharashtra 6also northern Karnata$a7 is $adaa$-land. !he
northern stretch towards Delhi, particularly beyond 9hansi is aloo8
#ri radesh. 3nd south of "aharashtra, you $now you are in
familiar territory when your eyes fall upon haw$ers vending idli,
dosa and omelette on the railway platform. Burther south,
particularly from DiEayawada downwards, the cuisine turns more
+A
discriminating. (melette gives way to 'iryani, thayir satha!,
lemon rice and even #liyasatha!. !he larger food stalls in
DiEayawada, one must not forget to mention, may offer piping hot
on%al or idli8$ada, served with e#cellent sa!'ar8&h#tney, if you
are luc$y. uch pleasures may not be yours if you are travelling
air-conditioned class. Bor 3G coaches are generally positioned at
one or the other e#tremity of the train, which means that you find
yourselves at a far end of the platform, with no food-stall 6or
boo$shop7 in sight. You are thus, more or less entirely at the mercy
of the pantry car.
%ith sealed windows and regulated temperature, 3G travel is
synthetic, artificial. /ot infre>uently, one may end up with
somewhat troublesome co-passengers, who being unfamiliar with
the ways of using the linen offered to them, may actually end up
using that of their fellow passengersJ. uch a misfortune befell me
twice recently during my travels.
!ravellers in sleeper class, it seems to me, are >uite free of the
stiffness that one may find among the upmar$et passengers of the
3G coaches. (ne of sleeper class Eourneys was from Delhi to
Ghennai by grant trun$ E#press. Bor company I had a nun who
could spea$ only "alayalam, two young chaps - "alayalis
wor$ing for the 3rya Daidya 2harmacy, and another couple of
Keralites, a &--year old girl and her older male companion. It was
great fun, although I was the only one in the group unable to spea$
any "alayalamS %hen I missed a meal on the first afternoon, the
nun fed me with tamarind rice and onion pic$le. 3nd the ne#t day,
believe it or not, we all played sna$es and ladders, a game I hadnJt
played in yearsS Cow singularly entertaining an otherwise silly
game can be when played in a group of si# on a trainS
Bor all my noisy tomtomming of sleeper class travel I must,
ac$nowledge the bitter truth that sleeper class coaches are
nowadays overrun by coc$roaches and rats. Bor all his financial
+F
wi@ardry, it appears that the ConJble )ailway "inister is now up
against a challenge that is o#ymoronically spea$ing, both modest
and menacing. 2erhaps it may help if he were to ensure that trains
are thoroughly cleaned and fumigated before they set forth on their
long Eaunts across the country. 3t any rate, as a result of the
humble rat and the humbler coc$roach, my sleeper class Eourneys
turned out to be a terror at nights, with the latter crawling all over
me and nightmares of the former biting through my luggage
playing on the mind all the timeS
o now you $now, for all my rants about the pleasures of sleeper
class travel, why I travel the way I doS
MY FRIE*3S
I was fortunate to have countably finite friends many of whom
were school mates. %e still continue our friendship for over five
decades enduring the test of time. . I was very mediocre in my
communicative s$ills, thoughts, debates, discussions and writings.
It is my progressive friends who have been a true inspiration and
role models for me. .ut for their un>ualified support,
encouragement I would not have had the measure of success in
social and union life. %hat I am and whatever strength I derive
today, I owe it their friendship.
I recollect two interesting incidents of my childhood days. 3 sport
loving guardian in our housing colony whom we refer as *uncleJ
gave a combined present to me and my friend for obtaining merit
mar$s in our school e#amination. Instead of being possessive, we
decided to form a sports club so that anyone of our other friends
could also use it. ome dispute too$ place among our friends as
many wished to use the football at the same time for their
,-
respective groups. . I and friend therefore decided to burn the
football in sheer anger.
I remember many cric$et matches me and our friend had organi@ed
in our schooldays. ine our parents couldnJt buy for us bat, ball,
stumps or even bails we had to necessarily ta$e those friends in
the eleven even when they were not good at the game lest their
parents will not give us these sports gadgets. %e used to arrange
matches collecting fifty paisa form each player after great
difficulties, as pri@e money for wining team. %hen ever our team
won we used the pri@e money for buying a tennis ball or some
times merrily sipping rustic ice lollies 6 1olas in hindi 7 made from
big balls of ice shavings stuc$ on rudimentary bamboo stic$s
from .colourful push-peddle carts vendors. !his passion for team
building which too$ roots even in our nascent school days helped
me in the union activity and friend in becoming a good
entrepreneur today.
During our college days in the year 1F<-, myself and close friend
who is my schoolmate, toyed with the idea of setting up a mobile
library. %e named it as 3pollo library, as man had set his foot on
the moon at that time. %e went on door to door campaign in
houses and lodges in and around Ghembur locality and collected
huge collection of boo$s, novels1 comics which they would have
otherwise discarded to waste paper marts. Burther we pooled in our
own boo$, novels, comics and collections made form friends
and relatives. %e also purchased some new popular novels at a
discounted price, with the cash donation drive which conducted
along with collection of boo$s mentioned above, from popular
boo$ vendors in footpaths of Ghembur, "atunga and Blora
fountain- Bort area .ome times we use to surreptiously flic$ boo$s
from footpaths vendors under the prete#t reading there to add up to
the collection.. 3nother friend of mine arranged for a place to
stoc$ these boo$s in a medical shop at Ghembur petrol pump. !he
shop owner appreciating our efforts gave us a place and re>uested
us to attend his shop during evening hours. . "any boo$ huntersJ
,1
enrolled as members of our library and visited the shop of
e#change of boo$s. %e retained )s,N- as the security deposit for
boo$s, reading charges free. (n aturdays evening and undays
we undertoo$ door to door delivery of the boo$s in and around
Ghembur to enrolled members, carrying boo$s in bicycles .!his
novel mobile library was in operation for two years but when the
medical shop owner decided to close his shop, for valid personal as
well business reasons this novel idea petered away and we
distributed the boo$s free to all those boo$ hunters who needed it.
Encouraged by the massive response to above library idea of ours,
thereafter we adventured into collecting college boo$s from houses
and lodges and started a Bree .oo$ .an$ under aegis of Ghembur
Youth Gentre, we had set up, which was very popular not only in
Ghembur but also in its neighborhood.. "any leading publishers
were $ind enough to give us boo$s as donations, which lend
success to this boo$ ban$ proEect. !he youth centre movement was
great success. !he centre undertoo$ many activities such teaching
high school children "aths, Economics and Gommerce subEects,
organi@ing !amil and "arathi spea$ing classes on unday
mornings, arranging for lectures by eminent personalities on
personality developments and allied subEects, in a school at
Ghembur. !he 2rincipal of the school who was our main chair
person of the youth centre was $ind enough provide class room in
the school for this purpose. 3fter our graduation we started
teaching maths statistics, economic and commerce subEects to
college students in the very same school premise under aegis of the
centre.
During 1FA1 I convened a reunion meeting of the past students I
had taught. 3lmost all the students attended the meeting. It was
resolved in the meeting to form an organi@ation-A!eya
6immortalsJ7. !hrough this organi@ation we and many social-
engineering friends, could involve, activise youth in social wor$ in
sprawling slums in Ghembur. .ut once some us started ta$ing
political stands and plunged into te#tile stri$e, many opted out.
,&
.ut I and my friends continued wor$ing for progressive social and
political change for +- years or more, associated, formed many
mass organi@ations in pursuit of a social change in the present
order. . %e have tried to move beyond the divisive, angry, and
polari@ed Kus versus themL social action and politics of our youth.
Cowever, many of us opposed and still continue fight the
mainstream political scene, seeing it as hopelessly corrupt,
ineffective, and bordering on irrelevant, e#cept for the mostly
negative impact it has on our lives. (ur anger which motivated us
to get involved in social actions has sustained us so far. "any of
the social interventions in the ne#t subheading of this story was
carried out together by us.
OT,ER SOCIAL I*TE(E*TIO*S
,0
!he concept of socialism catchword of many intellectuals, of my
time , which began a reaction against the upheavals caused
by the industrial revolution inspired me.. I was convinced
that ocialism is not a science, sociology in miniature T it
is a cry of grief, sometimes of anger, uttered by men who
feel most $eenly our collective malaise. ocialism is to the
facts which produce it what the ?roans of a sic$ man are to
the illness with which it is afflicted, to the needs that
torment him. !he essential characteristics of socialism such
as Emphasis on e>uality, Economic and ocial , ocial
ownership of the means of production , "ore emphasis on
social welfare, Economic 2lanning, Establishment of a
classless society convinced me that socialism is a more
humane ideology and inspired me further. Burther I held the
belief from practice and reading theories that mass leaders
must have a large dose of humanity, a large dose of a sense
of Eustice and truth to avoid falling into dogmatic e#tremes,
into cold scholasticism, into isolation from the masses. !hey
must struggle every day so that their love of living humanity
is transformed into concrete deeds, into act that will serve as
an e#ample, as a mobili@ing factor. I met few of them in life.
3nd I too$ a plunge into the seas of humanity with the
following social interventions.
Solidarity %ctions&
1. 2articipated actively in the ?reat Cistoric .ombay !e#tile
tri$e 61FA&-A+7 of &., lacs wor$ers by organising over one
thousand wor$ers in a locality solidarity committee called
Ghembur Kamgar amithy 6)ef4.oo$4:og Caul4 )aEini
.a$shi7 along with .lue and %hite collar wor$ers and middle
class intelligent of the locality.
,+
&. !oo$ vital role in organising the necessary infrastructure
for unionising widely scattered contract labourers in various
small-scale industries and trades in the city of .ombay O from
1FA+ onwards.
0. Initiated several programs for developing trade their united
actions and for wor$ing class solidarity including specific
campaigns 6eg4 2rice rise, infringement on !rade Pnion
rights, solidarity actions with other wor$ers in 2ublic and
2rivate sectors7.
Social Interventions&
1. Education 4
a7 Gomplimentary classes in "aths, tatistics and
Econometrics for C.c61&td.7., ..3., ..c., ..Gom., students
1F<& O 1FA&
b7 .oo$ .an$
c7 3dult Education programmer for the slum dwellers
d7 !rade Pnion education secessions and material preparations
for the same.
e7 Gompiling, writing and publishing of the !rade Pnion
information boo$s.
f7 3uthor of Know Your )ights 6service conditions
manual for I(. Employees7,-6a "agnus (pus7. !oday used as
,,
reference boo$ by the "anagement at our central office and in all
regions.
e7 Editions in K/(% Y(P) )I?C!
2reliminary 1FA- 6Cand written 1 cyclostyle O1,pages7
1
st
Edition 1FA+ 6!yped 1 cyclostyle O ,- pages 7
&
nd
Edition 1FA+ 6!yped 1 cyclostyle O <, pages7
0
rd
Edition 1FA< 6(ffset 1 @ero#es O 1,- 2ages7
+
th
Edition 1FAF 62rinted (ffset O 0-- 2ages7
,
th
Edition 1FF0 62rinted (ffset O +=& 2ages7
=
th
Edition 1FF< 62rinted (ffset O <-- 2ages7
<
th
Edition &--- 62rinted (ffset O =,- 2ages7
(!CE) 2P.:IG3!I(/ P/DE)!3KE/4
1. 3n unfinished Eourney - abridged version of the boo$
&. (n the founder of I(.- 4 =-
pages
0. Know globali@ation glossary beyond Eargon 8 1&,
pages
+. I(. and 1-A 4 F,-
pages
,. Know Cistory and evolution of 3ll India (verseas .an$
EmployeesJ Pnion 41,-
pages
=. Know 3cupressure, uEo$ and alternate therapies 4 11--
pages . tyeset &o!ete 8 to 'e edited8 #nder ro&ess 0
<. Know Evolution of wages in ban$ing industry since 1F++ 4
1+,- pages . to 'e edited = tyeset ready = #nder ro&ess0
&. Cealth and Cygiene 4 2ropagation of Ceath and Cygiene
and preventive medicines along with
doctors of Indian "edical 3ssociation
and cientists of ..3.).G. by various
,=
methods including street comer campa-
igns, informal meetings with unions,
rigorous door to door survey for over =
months covering 1- slums, 3udio visu-
al programmes, medical camps, .lood
donation and other drives.
0. cientific !emper4 Gampaign against superstition and
propaganda of cientific !emper along
with 2eople5s cience "ovement in various
localities with e#tensive repertoir
+. Givil :iberties )ight 4 Darious campaigns and agitations with
several Democratic rights and Democ-
ratic (rganisations.
,. Gul t ur e and Devel opi ng 4 Dide t r eet cor ner,
and campai gni ng f or sel l i ng of pr ogr essi ve
Gul t ur e and 3r t s f or l i t er ar y and cul t ur al
wor $i ng peopl e maga@i nes boo$s and
hoi st i ng of t r eet t hea-
t r e pl ays.
=. Environment 4 Gampaign against Industrial pollution,
noise pollution in Ghembur and campaign
for the victims of .hopal ?as !ragedy.
Sections of the 'eople&
tudents4 3ssisted in organi@ing various sections of students in
developing agitations for their legitimate demands and
introducing them to organi@ations of their interests.
Youth4 6Pnemployed and under employed7 Ghannelised scores
of youth into constructive organised activities for their
,<
own and social progress.
%omen4 6%ives of wor$ers and wor$ing women7 (rganised
various sections of women to fight for their rights and
participated in several of their agitational and educa-
tional programs 63nti dowry campaigns, celebration of
women5s day, /ational %omen Gonferences, film
festivals7.
lum Dwellers4 %or$ed with several sections of slum dwellers at
various levels of poverty and recognising them
as wor$ers living in slums. 2articipated and
attended to numerous of their personal
problems of socio-economic nature.
!ribals 1 (rgani@ed Goffee 2lantation wor$ers at (oty
Gommunities4 to form trade unions, .ac$ward Go-operatives
and assisted in organising socio economic
proEects for bac$ward communities in Ghingleput
District 6"adras7.
Ghildren4 Gonducted Knon informal EducationL classes for
slum
children in .ombay.
MY 4IFE 6
!he best effort of a fine person is felt after we have left the
wor$ we loved most. Cow true the statement. I reali@e it when it is
too late after my retirement from the ban$. It will be truthful to say
that I did not ta$e enough care and interest in matters concerning
,A
my own family during my tenure of over 0, years in union and
social, political activities mentioned above.
"y regret is that I have not saved enough to protect my "rs. If
I happened to pass out early. I cannot imagine her without me on
her side. !his brings out the most important >uestion mar$ in my
life. %e are together for the last &= years or so. o far in this
narrative she found very little space. It was not intentional. !here
was not any dialogue between us on the life out of home where I
was engaged most of the time. 3lso in the early days of marriage
I wor$ed till late night and used to come home only around
midnight . !he Eourney from /erul to /ariman 2oint where we had
our contact office of the union itself use to engage me for more
than + hours in absence of railway trains and .E! busses at that
time. . 2rime time of the day was spent mostly out of home. !he
last state transport bus form "an$urd- the connecting railway
station to my place was in those days 1-.p.m. normally I use to
miss this bus and ta$e re>uest hitch trips through lorries or other
vehicles in the highway to go my place . !here are times I have
wal$ed form Dashi to /erul if I got a hitchhi$e upto Dashi which
much developed . Even the stray dogs at /erul became friendly to
me. on seeing me at late nights they started wagging their tails
follow me to my house and stopped bar$ing at me.
It all seemed natural to me at that time. !here might be other
reasons for her pose. Bear, un-certainty or other. Cowever, for too
long a time she did not show an inclination to $now what were my
public activities, their importance or significance. It might be
mutual. I did not ma$e any effort to initiate her to be a partner in
all activities. I have no clue today for what has turned out to be,
considering the fact that I am ideologically convinced and
committed to gender e>uality and participation of women in all
public activities on e>ual footing. Even without an ideology as an
ordinary conventional husband I should have ta$en her into
confidence and instilled a $ind of confidence to $eep her
,F
communicative. /either I tried to find nor she showed any desires,
aspiration and or demand. %hat she tal$ed about were that of
ordinary domestic chores or occasional visits to relations. I
wonder today how she coped with tas$s of bringing up my
daughter through school and then college. /one were part of tal$s
at home. he might be nursing strong grievances that I cared less
about how our daughter fared in their day to day affairs. %hen she
came, she was new to city. In the GIDG( condominium where we
stayed, the language of communication was mostly Cindi that was
foreign. .ut I was ama@ed that she pic$ed up Cindi very fast and
was e>ually good in communicative "alayalam too which she
pic$ed up from my close, caring neighbours. During the late
eighties, we had our ?uEarat conference. !hose days there were no
written nominations for elections in advance - the concept we
introduced during our regime, and nominations were called on the
floor during the conference. %hen I came to $now that the
regional, parochial, political outfit which was in the power in the
state , had planned to stop me reaching ?uEarat to facilitate their
mass organisation in the ban$ to capture power, by force, I too$ a
bus two days before our scheduled programme to ?uEarat. %hile
opening the door, since our house was not inhabited for many
years, till we stepped in, the door caved it. .ut I left the house
informing the neighbours to ta$e care of her and she remained
without the main door in the house for wee$. 3t that time our
marriage was only + months old. !hat bespea$s of her grit as wells
her agony.
%hen my wife developed labour pain, fortunately I was in
"umbai. "y mother in law and my friend admitted her to the
nursing home in Ghembur .on receiving the phone call reached
there. "y wife was there in the labour room. "y mother in law
was feeling nervous. !he doctor advised us that the delivery will
ta$e some time and we have to stay overnight. ince my mother in
law had trac$ record of two still born babies, one infant death after
three months, and three abortions, believing in superstitions
re>uested me to relive her.
=-
%hile restlessly waiting I was e#periencing butterflies in the
stomach. I was Eittery too. I thought child birth happened Eust li$e
in the movies. I even pictured myself standing outside the
(peration )oom while my wife gave birth. KI thought the nurse
would come and show me my baby in the endL .ut it turned out to
be an e#citing e#perience to me which I am mentioning in this
narrative . "y wife was very nervous in the labour room and
cried out my name for help. eeing her plight the doctor called me
to her cabin and told me husbands do have to ta$e an e>ual part in
child birth and bringing up babies and as per their nursing home
policies they allowed husbands in the labor and delivery room if
the wife desires for natural and cesarean deliveries. Cowever if
potential complications occur during the process , I may be as$ed
leave the labor room .Burther these encouraging words of my
doctor K I donJt isolate wives during delivery, as it is a very
traumatic time for them. If you are a husband, you must support
your wife at this critical time and not be afraidL motivated and
encouraged me
.eing in the labour room with your wife is probably the most
important thing you can do for her. I will never forget the day my
daughter was born. It was an an#ious wait in the delivery room. I
believe it is very natural for every man to feel nervous when he
enters the delivery room not $nowing what to e#pect for the first
time. 3s for me, I too$ my wife to the hospital as soon as her water
bag bro$e. I had a lot of mi#ed feelings, being an#ious and happy
at the same time.
%hile waiting for our gynaecologist in the labour room, my wife
began sweating and I could sense that her pain was becoming
intensely stronger. 3s an ine#perienced first-timer, I did not $now
how to help her. I held her hand and told her to stay calm and not
to worry. 3fter the doctor came in to chec$ my wife and unborn
baby, the nurses started to prepare the room. !he doctor gave
=1
specific instructions to my wife4 5Don5t waste your energy. Do not
simply push and waste your energy.5
I Eotted down in memory everything the doctor had said so I could
help her through labour. %hen my wife $ept shouting and telling
me that she was in tremendous pain, I tried to calm her down.
!hen, I noticed that her legs were sha$ing while she was trying to
push the baby out.
3t this point, I was afraid my wife could not withstand the pain, as
she had not ta$en any pain$illers. "y biggest fear was that she
might collapse or fall unconscious and this could lead to other
complications.
!hough it was chaotic, I wanted to be in the delivery room because
I wanted to support her. !he birth of my baby was definitely
something I wanted to witness because it was important to me.
Cowever, the biggest challenge was pretending to be calm in front
of my wife when I was actually feeling very tense the whole timeS
I $new I had to be calm and collected in order to encourage her to
be calm as well.
!here was such e#citement when I first saw my baby5s hair and
head. I $new she was going to be out soon. In my heart, I wanted
to hold her tight and to give her my first daddy $iss. It was an
ama@ing e#perience indeed. I could feel the power of life and hope.
!he proudest moment was when my daughter was born. I was also
very proud of my wife for all the hard wor$ she had put in as well.
In fact, it motivated me to wor$ hard for my familyS It was a very
novel e#perience for me. .eing in labor room for the first time in
my life and seeing a baby com alive to this world was a
privileged e#perience me. I saw my daughterJs struggle to be born.
"y daughter was born on the DiEaya Dasami 6Durga 2ooEa7 day, on
=&
0---F-1FA< e#actly one year after my marriage. ince she had
sharp, bright eyes we named herJ DivyaJ.
!hereafter to wor$ a common thread of commonality of mutual
interests, I started involving myself with subEect of her choice.
3part form assisting her in the household chorus such as coo$ing,
washing utensils etc, we do regular Eoint readings during our spare
time in spiritual boo$s, and boo$s on yoga, acupressure and uEo$
therapy 6 hand foot treatment 7. 3 huge collection boo$s I have on
these subEects he did her diploma course in yoga therapy and
learnt acupressure, uEo$ therapy. (ur routine is rather prosaic.
/othing unusual, we get up at , a.m. after doing yoga for half an
hour if possible, go for routine bris$ morning wal$ for +, minutes
without fail, followed by yogic meditation for 1, minutes if
possible. . !hereafter I spend half an hour reading newspapers and
maga@ines or anything that holds interest me at that moment .
6novels not e#cluded7. .etween < to A a.m, I chant !atrirya
Ppanishad, )udram , Ghama$am , and 2urshasu$tahm hymns
which I learned out of my own efforts from cassettes and net ,
which ma$es her happy.
In the evening we chant together Dishnu ahsranaman. !hese
activities strengthened and cemented our bond of love and mutual
faith further. %hile I have a reasonable understanding in the
theory uEo$ therapy 6 I bought many boo$s on the subEect from
south Korea where we have a branch7 , she has a good grasp of the
subEect and with her deft pair of hands imparts therapy to those
come to us with pain related problems 6 bac$ pain, nec$ pain etc7 .

(ver a period with good activists from the social movements
coming to my house and having good interactions with us she
came to $now the pulse of our socio Opolitical wor$ and started
=0
endorsing the same. It will be pertinent to mention here that before
my marriage she stayed with my aged cousin sister, at Kala$ad ,
her grand mother in a house which was electrified only during
&--1 , after I decided to do so to meet my comforts when I visited
there. .efore marriage all her schooling and studies she managed
with chimney lamp and hurricane light.
!hough she has not learned coo$ing beyond some daily
brahminical dishes, soon she learnt to coo$ north Indian dishes
through her association with her local friends and on watching !D
%ith all the constraints she never complained. (nly during the last
few years, I perceived her hidden earnings and aspirations. he
envisaged a good life, nothing e#travagant, dressing and going out,
visiting places, attending entertainments, occasional holidays, and
some modest ornaments to wear. .ut she never e#pressed any of
those wishes openly. o I never $new. he had a grievance about
my spending money on boo$s. he did not ta$e into consideration
that most of them were very low priced. "y own income
throughout my service in the ban$ was sufficient only to carry on
with day to day necessities and occasional visit to Kala$ad and
other places availing :BG . !he financial position was easier
towards to the last days before my retirement. !here were years in
between when I never purchased any boo$s and still faced with
an#ieties. (ne cannot correct the past even if we perceive it as
wasted or sign of madness.
(ur relations, in more than half a century were satisfactory both
physically as well as emotionally. %ith all that behind us, I am sure
that in her view I have not acted to her e#pectations in the past due
to my union preoccupation and being away from home for fifty
percent of our married life. . /o e#pectations for anything to
happen to change the future.
=+
In any places in this narrative I have not mentioned the name of
my wife. It might be a sign of my mental ma$e up. I regret it
happened unli$e in the case of orthodo# .rahmins where both
husband and wife do not ta$e name of each other.
Pnconsciously or so her name did not come in this narrative.
3s stated earlier her mother and 2eriyaypaJs family at Kala$ad
where she was brought up were too orthodo# to my taste. ome
how this narrative followed this taboo. I e#press my apologies
to 3lamelu affectionately called by me as 3mbuE .

"y daughter Divya had inherited balanced blend of >ualities of
my lovable mother-in-law , 3mbuE and me he is level
headed and has strong leadership s$ills, urge to fight inEustice,
and above all she is above cosmetics, petty frills and foibles.
he is blessed with mellifluous voice. he is good orator and
writer too. , Drawing, pottery, embroidery, paperwor$Js are her
other interests. he has done angeet Disharat 6 e>uivalent to
graduation 7 in Cindustani music. he sings Garnatic songs
e>ually well, which she learned it for few years in her primary
school days, he had to give it up because her teacher left to
3ustralia and no e>uivalent person was available in /erul ta$e
her musical passion forward.. !hat is where she started learning
Cindustani music. I record her songs in our old tape recorder,
and listen to it when I am alone at Ghennai.
!hroughout her school days she never went to any coaching
classes e#cept for brief period for specific subEects when she
was in higher secondary. 3ll through her school and college I
taught her maths, statistics and to some e#tent physics. . I use
engage for her hours together in this regard. !his rigour laid a
foundation for furtherance her s$ills, logistics and thoughts.
3part for assisting me carrying out proof reading of many of union
and other publications, she was instrumental in giving finishing
touches to my wor$s with pulsating cover designs and formatting
of all my publications inconsonance with its theme, leaving her
=,
innovative imprints. sometimes she has helped me in even
drafting of my circulars, editing my publications ma$ing it terse,
and in the art wor$s of my publications .
3fter ta$ing a Eob at 3ccenture Oa management Gonsulting soon
after her college and her pursuance with her further studies at
ymbiosis , 2une, her musical passion too$ a bac$ seat.
Cowever she manages to give glimpse of her musical talent
when ever she gets a chance during college meets ,other social
meets and family gatherings. he is at present pursing her
final year in ".3 6I!7 at ymbiosis, 2une, and very soon we
have at to ensure she settles down in life too. :ady
:uc$ referred to us Fortuna, in )oman mythology, Tyche, in
?ree$ mythology- ?oddess of fortune, never favoured her
when she needed it most all through her academics and life.
Pndeterred she brushes these failures with contemptuous
nonchalance, and ta$es success and failure with e>uanimity not
resigning to static human fossils who loathe unhappiness and
pain . .y sheer perseverance, patience and hard wor$ she has
often achieved what she wanted on a future day.
I draw great satisfaction that with my social networ$ing
connections with my membership because of my wor$ and
position in the union , I could ta$e them to many places in India ,
including all states in north east, and introduce them to good
activists in the union and their family though out my tenure in the
union . !his has given them necessary e#posure to ta$e up travels
independently which 3mbuE does these days often going to my
native place every >uarter to ta$e care of my aged co-sisters,
reciprocating her eternal gratitude to them for having nurtured
nourished her . he prefers the shortest !rivandrum route by
Kon$an )ailway boarding the train at /ew 2anvel 6Eust 0- minutes
form my house7 to go to Kala$ad. !he Eourney time beteen
!rivandrum and Kala$ad is only four hours. (ur union activists in
==
!rivandrum or /ager$oil have been $ind enough to receive her and
arrange vehicle for her onward Eourney to Kala$ad. "any times
they are courteous enough to accompany her too. (ur union
activists for !irunelveli ma$e arrangements for her return Eourney
from Kala$ad to !rivandrum. 3part form travel arrangements they
attend to her other specific re>uests if any. (ivya calls therefore
my union as an extended family.
Divya has struc$ emotional, resonant chord with my aged cousin
sisters often referred in this narrative, at Kala$ad and meets them
very often during leisure discarding the pleasure of going to other
places in India during her leave period . he has a firm resolve
that as long as she can radiate cheers to these aged cousin sisters
with her presence, she will meet them as along they are alive, and
going to other places in India can be always ta$en up on a future
date. In fact she availed my last :BG in my ban$Js service to visit
them during her brief leave period while at ymbiosis, where as
me and 3mbuE went to Tawan% in 3runachal 2radesh in the /orth
East.

MY MOT,ER I* LA4 6
"others-in-law have a special status in our society. !he celluloid
media have often denigrated their special status portraying them as
meddling, domineering or Eust plain cran$y old woman. !his
stereotyping of mothers-in-law as evil and blood thirsty by media
and popular film culture violates the civil liberties and the
constitutional provisions of right to liberty and right to life. Bor
e#ample "y mother-in-law does not conform to this archetype of
the filmy media in any way.
I was fortunate to have an ama@ing mother in law. !his narrative
cannot become complete without mentioning her. he filled the
Dacuum created in our lives after my motherJs death soon after my
marriage. "y mother in law was my fatherJs sisterJs daughter. he
lost her mother at a young age. Cence my Periyyaa arranged for
=<
marriage of his third daughter, one of my cousin sister aged A=
now at Kala$ad, often referred by me in this narrative, to her
father. "y mother in lawJs father was a very progressive person
during that period, a ..3, honours graduate, and was the founder,
as well as the principal of the "uslim school in the a%rahara! 6a
name given to the .rahmin >uarters of heterogeneous village area7.
Ce was drawing )s.1-=-1--1& during 1F,-Js which today will be
e>uivalent around one lacs. "y mother in law was brought by him
with love and care. Cer marriage was performed for three days
with pomp and grandeur at Kala$ad attended by scores of "uslims
in that area. .ut she had a disarrayed, married life. Cer husband
too$ to inebriations and the family suffered. 9ust before my
mother death, I brought her to "umbai to ta$e care of mother in
case she is discharged from the hospital. .ut, sadlyS !hat was not
to be. Bed up the treatment meted out her after her husbandJs death
by close relatives, she decided to stay with us. he was indeed a
lovely women ac$nowledged by all my friends. 3mbuE was
singularly fortunate to be her mother while after marriage girls go
to their mother-in-lawJs house .he created, caring and much
needed space to 3mbuE and Divya when I am away from family for
prolonged period after becoming ?eneral ecretary of the union.
he was a fine, cheerful human being, radiating hope and energy
when I needed. he referred to her deceased friends as being Kin
heaven,L as if they had Eust stepped into the ne#t room. he does
not live in the past. he was reading every dayJs !amil news paper
and use ma$e noting in her diary. he never use to miss important
serial in !D. !hough she could not understand "arathi .he li$ed
watching humorous "arathi pictures in Uee !al$ies "arathi
channel, and appreciated it. :ife for her is an adventure. Cer sense
of humor was marvelous. he has never interfered in our lives. he
does her thing and we do ours and she never condemned us for
doing things that we enEoy.
In the late F-Vs, she was diagnosed with metastatic breast
cancer. Cer breast cancer was not diagnosed until after she had
developed visible lesions of terminal stage. he was admitted at
=A
ion hospital and I was with her, throughout her treatment period.
In recognition of my efforts and concern shown to her treatment,
the nurses in the ion hospital permitted me meet her and be with
her when needed in the ladies ward even at night as a special case.
%e did not inform any of our relatives, including her mother and
other children about her disease through out the period of her
treatment. !hereafter she was administered chemotherapy at ion
hospital and spot radiation at !ata "emorial Cospital he was able
to bravely fight the disease for four and half years time with the aid
of strong pain $illers and other palliatives.
I brought her second daughter who was married to another caste
to "umbai for her delivery. Cer delivery was a traumatic
e#perience. %hen she developed labour pain it was century
heaviest rain fall in "umbai - no water, electricity in our area. %e
admitted her in a nursing home at /erul. 3 solitary nurse who was
compelled to do additional shift was available in the nursing home.
Due to dislocation and cancellation trains and buses, other nurses
could not turn up for wor$. !he doctor was $ind enough to reach
there in time in her car as she staying nearby. . eeing depletion
in nurses strength at that time I narrated my e#perience during my
wifeJs delivery to the doctor and she we $ind enough to permit me
to present in the labour room. I ended up supporting my sister in
law all through labour, standing right by her and $ept reassuring
me throughout8 I carried three buc$et of water by auto ric$shaw to
the nursing home as there was not sufficient water. !he delivery
was performed with emergency light and candles and I had
privilege of witnessing another delver in my life time. It was
e#citing and emotional e#perience to me. %e named the child
*Dipi$aJ, synonym to *DivyaJ
Cer son was a psychiatric patient. I brought him to "umbai and
found a Eob placement for him in a nearby factory. .ut as he
=F
developed more and more psychiatric complications I too$ him for
treatment with Dr. harada "enon - a pioneer psychiatrist at
Ghennai who brought sweeping reforms in mental health in India.
Ce was administered Electroconvulsive therapy 6EG!7, 6formerly
$nown as electroshoc$7 ten times. the treatment lasted for a month.
During this treatment period I taught him coo$ing, English
spea$ing and Yoga. I was fortunate that my Ghairman 1
"anaging Director agreed to my re>uest and appointed him as a
peon in I(. soon after his treatment. In three years time he
became a cler$. 3ll these things happened during the treatment
period of my mother in law for cancer. Bour months before her
death we could arrange for suitable match to my brother in-law at
my native place. !he marriage too$ place at an$aran Koil
temple .I and 3mbuE too$ the guardian role in his marriage. !oday
they are well settled with two school going $ids. .
3fter the match was arranged for her son she was happy and
ecstatic. I decide that all her family members should meet. "y
sister in law, a school teacher at 3arnatangi in 2udu$ooati district
and her two children came to Ghennai to be with us. %e did not
inform them of her dreadful disease. %e had rollic$ing time. %e
went to "ahabalipuram for sightseeing and had lovely dip in the
beach. "y mother in law was in sea water for a long time enEoying
the rising and waning waves and every blissful moment of her left
out life.
I arranged for a good photographer friend of mine to ta$e
portrait photographs of my mother in lawJs family. "y mother in
law , 3mbuE , and my sister in law draped themselves in
*J"adisarL6+7 saris and Divya in *2avadai dhaavani6,7
.ut his happiness was Eust fleeting. In he evening my mother in
law too$ me to the other room and told me she has developed
e#traordinary growths in her abdomen. I $ept this sad information
as secret to my wife too. %e rushed bac$ to "umbai. (n
<-
diagnosis it turned out be malignant. he was ta$en to !ata
"emorial and the doctor recommended her continuous spot
radiations for two months. . !o complete the treatment in monthJs
time before the date fi#ed for the marriage of my brother in law, at
our re>uest she was administered treatment twice in a day, one in
the morning and in the evening. Everyday, I use to accompany her
for treatment. ince this treatment was administered for the first
time in the hospital , my mother in law being a cooperative patient
, the doctors re>uested her dress up well during one of her
treatment day her treatment to pose a for photographs ,as they had
invited leading oncologists from the world to demonstrate this
treatment. "y mother in law sincerely adhered to their re>uest and
was loo$ing ravishing in her sil$ saris. . During the
interregnum6 between first and second treatment of the day 7 I use
to show her temples in outh "umbai such as
"ahala$shmi,.abulanth ,"umbadevi, 2rabadevi, etc, and we
spent hours together in the lawns 2arsee ?arden at "atunga or
other good locations eating our pac$ed foods and indulging in
productive discussions. to get ready for spot radiation in the
evening. "any a times during the treatment I had ta$en her to good
south Indian restaurants of "atunga. (nce I too$ her /ehru
planetarium and she had good time there seeing stars and
planets. ... .y sheer providence more so because of determination
and grit she completed the treatment in time and she Eoined us for
the marriage of her son at an$aran Koil in !irunelveli district-our
-#la 3e$ta.
I draw great satisfaction that I could ta$e my mother in law to
Daranasi, Crishi$esh , Caridwar , 3gra , "athura and other
important places in its vicinity before cancer made her immobile .
During this tour I came $now more of her and we developed
inseparable bond of love and respect for each other. he was great
inspirer to all us and my friends .he won their hearts with her
sweet smile.
<1
3 beautiful life got suddenly e#tinguished at the young age of
,F due to the late detection of the $iller disease. .ut it cannot
e#tinguish the aroma that she radiates in ones memories. !he pain I
suffer often due swin%in% !ood syndro!es, s#dden 'o#ts of !ental
deression and the treat!ents I #nder%o , while in solitude seems
so insignificant, compared to what she must have faced on that
fateful day.
I still remember the first day I met her, which was the day of
my marriage. !he spar$le and brightness that radiated from her
childli$e face, never dimmed through all the torturous years of
struggles, e#cruciating pains she has undergone in her married life.
!he same bubbly spirit, the same dynamism, and the same active
and sharp mind of youth, remained till the very end. !he purity of
her soul, her deep commitment to my well being never allowed
her to be weighed down by any $ind of hardshipTphysical or
mental. !hat is why the wear and tear of life could not e#tinguish
her charm and e#uberance. It was only the deadly and incurable
breast caner which struc$ her, that suddenly resulted in her ageing
overnight.
!hough her face grew drawn, she never allowed the disease to
destroy her spirit. !he fire for a full life, did not diminish, even an
iota. !ill her very last day, from si# in the morning to twelve at
night she was continuously on the moveT praying ,dressing up
Divya , reading, diary noting , coo$ing and cleaning herself and
above all being at ease with my friends , some of whom stayed
overnight in my house after hectic political discussions. . . !hough
the disease was slowly eating away her organsTher lungs, her
$idneys, her heartTand crippling her mobility , she $new no rest.
Even her arthritic $nees, which grew more and more painful, did
not stop her climbing stairs, and Eoining me for a tour to religious
places in the north which included an half an hour tre$ to /eel
$anth in )ishi$esh .
<&
!he same simplicity, straight forwardness. childli$e innocence
remained permanent with her. Cer face was a reflection of her
emotionsTunable to lie, manipulate others or indulge in intrigue.
.esides, her ability to bond with all my friends and union
colleagues, Tfrom the simplest slum dweller, peon in my office,
union members in distress to topmost intellectuals, who visited my
house often, is indeed legendary. he had the beauty of innocence,
yet maintaining the sharpness dynamism of a professional. It is this
combination that gives her eternal fragrance. It is nearly a decade
she died, yet her fragrance lingers on. !he sweet scent li$e from an
eternal blossom into#icates my mind with memories of her
vivacious and loving spirit.
o all things considered, I was fortunate to have a good
!other8 in8lo$e .%e do so many things in life in the wrong order.
%e sprin$le salt on the driveway after the ice has formed. %e eat
dinner before dessert .I didnJt want to wait to deliver her eulogy
after she is gone. .esides, IJd never be able to write this as a poem.
I want to tell her now.
?Yo#r kindness has insired !e in !ore ways than one.
The ti!e we shared !eant so !#&h to !e and I had a lot of f#n.
Yo# ta#%ht !e the tr#e !eanin% of a !other"s lo$e.
Yo# re!inded !e when I was in do#'t to look # a'o$e.
Yo#r stren%th is a!a2in% thro#%h this hard ti!e.
Yo#"re !ore than a !other8in8law@ yo#"re a 'est friend of !ine<.
MY SC,OOL AT M7M)AI
I consider myself fortunate and singularly privileged 1 blessed
that through my fatherJs contact at Asthika Sa!a5, I could procure
admission in IE Cigh chool, "atunga, an oldest and premier
educational institution, when my mother shifted her family to
"umbai in the late fifties. . !hough I did not have mar$ sheets of
my first standard and the formal !G of school I studied in my
<0
native place , due to my fathers reputation , and on merits I was
enrolled in the second standard. !he IE institution became an
essential pat of my life as I spent my entire academic education
-school and college with the same institution. !raditional turban
,immaculately white tuc$ed up dhoti draped with a $nee long
cotton coat demanding reverence , a stern loo$ penetrating
through the button Oholes of half pant clad boys who stride the
steps to the class room in silence in the morning , a mere
appearance that instilled discipline even among the delin>uents,
:ate.!. "uthuswamy Iyer , the trade mar$ teacher and
headmaster , dominated the scene . !he motto of our school Satya
*asti Paro 3har!ah 6ans$rit7 !here is no religion 6duty, law7
higher than truth 6reality7. !he very thought of standing in the
gates at the entrance with this message for hours together
sometimes even after the school hours as punishment made student
to be diligent and careful.. (ur headmaster firmly believed that
flogging is only facilitator of studies and that a cane tuc$ed under
the armpit alone could tame tallboys in their teen that teased timid
ones.
"any who stepped out of our school are now scattered
everywhere Othroughout the globe occupying esteemed position
and status in the society. If our school could produce prodigies li$e
Dr.Kasturi )angan who launched satellites for India, the
foundation could be traced to the eminent and dedicated teachers
of the school.
I was fortunate that a pleasant relationship developed between
"uthuswamy Iyer, our headmaster and my family when he shifted
to old age home at /erul IE comple#. . .efore shifting to this
place, he stayed in my house for over two months during
KanchiperivaJs visit to /erul. !hose were the days my mother-in-
law was undergoing treatment for cancer. Ce had special li$ing for
my mother-in-law, 3mbuE and Divya . Ce would ma$e a point to
give 3mbuE and Divya, some gift on important festivals and
occasions, saying they are his daughters. Every day while going to
<+
temple at IE /erul ,3mbuE would visit him and his lovely wife
"eena$shi ammal in the ashram ."eena$shi madam had special
space and affinity for 3mbuE5s hospitality and awe for Divya5s 5s
gifted ,sonorous voice. "uthuswamy Iyer used to come to our
house at least thrice in wee$ and wont hesitate to demand !iffin, or
lunch. Ce used to li$e good blended coffee without sugar. During
stay in my house he used to ta$e bath at 11.0- p.m so that we are
not disturbed in the early morning when he commences his prayers
around 0.a.m. 3nd around , 3.". he would go to bed once again.
Ce was having sound routine though not very orthodo#. o
modest he was-an antithesis to the strong e#terior we noticed
during our school days. .efore his admission to local hospital
where he died when his wife told him that she will bring to
3mbuEJs notice about his ill health , he admonished her saying
*donJt create a scene , I will bac$ tomorrowL. !hat way I was
fortunate to have a contended family life. I reali@e time has come
for me to unwind myself from the union fold, start a new life and
spent >uality time my family.
MY SC,OOL )7S LIFE
"y rant about my high schoolers ta$ing -- or, rather, not ta$ing --
the bus got me remembering. (ur school had hired around nine
school buses. %hen I Eoined the school there were only five and
every year one more was added. !he owner of the bus a 2arsee
gentlemen whom we #n&le, in half trousers, himself used to drive
bus number one. Ce and my Cead "aster were good friends. !he
common thing among them was to enforcing discipline. .ut their
ways differed. Pncle use to enforce discipline in a pleasant manner
without hurting or frightening $ids. !he bus came by our house at
Fam. %e had to be out at the corner of our housing board colony
would pass us by -- there was none of that stopping in front of
someone5s house and hon$ing the horn. (nce you miss the bus -
Eust bun$ the school and get scolding of elders in the house.
<,
"y school bus e#periences create memories that are positive.
.ecause my stop was the second of the morning route, I would
usually sit up front, right behind the driver. I would as$ lots of
>uestions about driving and traffic. I would offer to open the door
at the various stops. I would sometimes slip under the bar
separating the driver from the students and sit on the bo# between
the driver and the window. %hy those men 6ever put up with my
antics7 is beyond me. .ut I loved riding the bus. I loved school.
3nd I loved being up front - in the bus, in the classroom, at temple,
in the car. 6I still li$e being up front.7 ome things never change...
!he evening bus rides were often tougher. !he younger $ids would
often get on the bus first and they usually wanted the front seats.
ince me and friend were waiting to sei@e appropriate time to
stealthily flic$ some eatables from the road side haw$ers and hide
into the bus, I use to miss my front set. o I5d have to sit in the
bac$.
I had my fair share of fights on the bus. .eing the peace-loving,
tender-hearted $id that I was, I tried as hard as possible to avoid
fisticuffs, but sometimes I had no choice but to defend myself.
2ulled hair. plit lips. !orn clothing. .oo$bag contents strewn. It
wasn5t pretty. .ut I survived.
3t some traffic signals two buses stopped side-by-side. uddenly
several windows were opened and many high fives and handsha$es
were e#changed between students on the two buses. !hen when the
light turned green, Eust as suddenly as they had been opened a
moment or two before, the windows were closed and the
homeward Eourney continued.
:ife on the school bus, especially during my middle school years,
was >uite different from school bus life in primary school. !he
main reason for the vast change in school bus eti>uette was a
mischievous $id. I won5t say his name because I want to protect
<=
him from potential prosecution for the behavior he incited and
committed on the bus. %ater bottles s>uee@ed out onto
unsuspecting people waiting to cross the street after the school bus
passed them by pedestrians were showered with water. I still cringe
when I thin$ of the poor man on his bi$e, dressed all in white, who
was doused in blue in$ from the in$ pot as we passed him by this
$id. I for one never participated in this rampant tomfoolery, but nor
did I ma$e any attempt to end it. I laughed a lot on that bus.
%ell, e#cept for the few times when the bus driver would pull over
to the side of the road, get out of his seat and come to the bac$ to
reprimand us for our noise and for our rowdy behavior.
!hroughout my school life I was ta$en to and fro from my house
by our school bus. I learned on school trips Khow to sociali@e with
other students,L Khow some friendships are builtRand how easily
some people flew off the handle,L Kto stand up for myself,L Khow
to get along with othersRnot to be afraid to tal$ to others,L Khow
to sociali@e with peers,L and Kthe way $ids act without adult
supervision. Briendly interactions, the sharing of e#periences and
ideas, and, generally, an opportunity to interact that was different
from the typical peer interactions in schools. Ghorus songs,
sometimes .haEans, sharing snac$s were other normative
e#periences. "e and my friend often referred by me in this
narrative, from our middle schools days onwards use to arrange
for 3nnual Day Gelebration of our school bus students on the last
day of our academic term in the bus.
"ost of other child hood friends were from Ghembur. !heir
schools used to over by +.p.m. and they will start playing in the
ground by ,p.m. .ut our school bus could reach Ghembur earliest
by,p.m. Cence I would run to my home , throw my bags and
shove what ever my mother has prepared in my pant pac$ets and
rush to ground and while playing eat there sharing with others.
It5s remar$able how so much of who I am today, who I live with,
who I relate easiest to, what I fear, what I avoid, and what I find
funny was established during my years as a school bus rider. "any
<<
of the most important lessons of my life were learned while the
wheels on the bus went round and round.
)E1I**I*1 OF A *E4 ,ORICO*
/o person in the long Eourney of full career span of wor$
escapes the craving for rest. 3ctive as he may be in whatever
sphere of life, eager to press forward in some vital >uest, ambitious
as he may be for honour, position, wealth or fame, there comes a
moment of realisation when one would gladly forsa$e anything for
a period of rest . !ime had come for most of my schoolmates to
reap the perpetual bliss of an approved conscience, with ease,
amidst the crowding, pushing of files, cho$ing mass of affairs
which hurry men on through the pathways of life and at the same
time being active as many were approaching the age of
superannuation. .)ecogni@ing this some of my thoughtfuland
visionary batch mates of G =F batch decided to organi@e the
first reunion meeting on Beb &+, &--A. !he meeting was organi@ed
through word of mouth and phone calls. It was an emotional
e#perience for most of us, who attended. "any of us thought this
meet would a mere ephemeral. .ut actions and events proved us
wrong .%e continued to meet for five consecutive occasions
thereafter and have started planning now itself for the si#th meet in
Bebruary &-10. !he IE =F had today come of age. Every day,
incoming e-mail in our ?oogle site demonstrates that the batch
mates have struc$ a resonant chord. I spent an hour every day
responding some mails, and &herry8i&kin% forwards, articles for
ne#t days post. !his has $ept me not only preoccupied but has also
<A
e#panded my $nowledge. %e have emerged as largest Cigh
chool reunion of our school and contributed our mite to the
school through our E26 special educational programmes 7 and
3B6 students assistant fund for economically bac$ward students
of our school 7 prgramames. !he other batches in the school went
the traditional way and they lost the re>uisite momentum and IE
=F stands tall in the IE high school fraternity, today
which owners ride, nei%h'o#rs en$y. . %e have gained a new
respect for our social actions. Cow far weJve come we donJt $now,
where we go from here we have no clue. !he s$y is the limit. !he
heavens are waiting to let these stars through, and IE =F is built
to shine all through our glorious life. .efore concluding I than$
?od as under for ma$ing my life meaningful.
Thank yo# 1od
Thank yo# %od for !akin% !e takes 'irth in a oor fa!ily. ,ad I
not 'een 'orn in s#&h a fa!ily, I wo#ld not 'e what I a! today.
Thank yo# 1od for 'ein% %ood % to !y arents, who tho#%h not
ed#&ated in the !odern sense, were intelli%ent, in>#isiti$e, &arin%
and wise eole. I inherited so!e of these >#alities fro! the! and
I &are for others, 'e&a#se of this.
Thank yo# 1od for %i$in% !e an oort#nity for 'e&o!in% a
%rad#ate in !athe!ati&s. )e&a#se of this, I was ro#d to 'e
asso&iated with &ond#&tin% free &lasses for st#dents alon% with !y
#nion &areer for a de&ade whi&h ha$e indire&tly heled so!e to
a&hie$e their feat.
Thank yo# 1od for !akin% !e !arry a %irl, who has sa&rifi&ed all
her wishes and wants to kee !e hay. )#t for her I wo#ld not 'e
what I a!.
<F
Thank yo# 1od for %i$in% !e da#%hter, who like !e, &ares for all
those who s#ffer. I a! s#re that when she %ets older and !ore
se&#re, she will send all their ener%y and wealth to wie the tears
of e$ery one in the world. She too is e;tre!ely intelli%ent and
in>#isiti$e. 3#e to all this when the ti!e &o!es for !e to 'id
farewell to this world, I will do it witho#t any &are &heerf#lly.
Thank yo# %od in arti&#lar for %i$in% !y da#%hter the %ift of
$oi&e , with whi&h she renders s&intillatin% and soothin% !#si&
whi&h has heled !e and friends to fi%ht enn#i when alone at
Chennai .
Thank yo# 1od for !y #nion and so&ial &ontri'#tions and the
%reat re&o%nition that I %ot fro! !y eole. I know with !y
>#alifi&ation and !y #nion se&iali2ation, it is yo# who ha$e done
it.
Thank yo# 1od for !y a'ility to write short stories, oliti&al
arti&les, oe!s in En%lish and !y assion for h#!o#r. 4itho#t
these, I wo#ld ha$e &onsidered !e as in&o!lete.
Thank yo# 1od for %i$in% !e a handf#l of $ery effi&ient and a $ery
&on&erned, $ery &arin% friends who ha$e s#stained a relationshi
with !e for o$er fo#r de&ades in rain and s#nshine end#rin% the
test of ti!e.
Thank yo# 1od for the $ery nat#rally intelli%ent in>#isiti$e,
e!otional s&hool !ates who ha$e &o!e to%ether to for! a
RE7*IO* in DEEF &ar$in% o#r ni&he as trend setters in the s&hool.
Thank yo# 1od for ena'lin% !e to &ontri'#te al!ost ea&h day to
!y s&hool re#nion site. This has now %rown in to a 'anyan tree
ro$idin% leas#re, rela;ation knowled%e and hel .
Thank yo# 1od for whate$er I a!. )e&a#se of yo#r %ra&e and
A-
'lessin% I ha$e a rod#&ti$e so&ial, #nion G fa!ily life. *ow on
!y friends and !y s&hool re#nion !ates will ro$ide sa&e and
ti!e to !e always.
Finally Thank yo# 1od for !akin% !e healthy and wealthy
.witho#t any wants0 and a %ood h#!an 'ein%.
I &an+t ask for anythin% !ore.
SOME CO*CL7SIO*S4
ome one reading all that were in the earlier pages will come
with a >uestion that needs an answer and possibly an
e#planation at this Euncture. I have said that I believed in
communist ideology and a society of that future. Do I carry
them today' /ot e#actly. !here are changes that are maEor in
my present outloo$. "y disbelief in and opposition to all
religions has strengthened as the days go bye. "ore and more
evidences come thru from so many sources. !he gods to whom
prayers are held and offering are made in order to get
protection from decease, mishap, calamity, ill luc$ etc. are in
need of U plus security these days. Even thou they thin$ and
practice religion the people are not at all convinced that their
gods could ta$e care of themselves or their sacred abodes the
temples. .ut belief persists. !here were reports that the Ice
:ingam that gets formed in the 3marnath cave in Kashmir
Cimalayas had melted before the season ended thru the heat
A1
generated by the crowds visiting it now a days and due to
global warming
!his gentleman 62ranav Khullar - author7 is a regular on the
topic of gods and spiritual column Kpea$ing !reeL in !imes
of India. !his piece about the Ice :ingam was on 1ANAN-,.
!here were in the media that the divine ice lingam melted and
disappeared on 0-.<.-, while the ravan 2oornima was on
1F.A.-,. 3ccording to reports the pilgrims thinned after the
melt down of the lingam.
Ice :ingam in an ice cold cave surrounded by ice caped
mountains melted down inspite of the ardent devotees see$ing
its 6hiva7 blessings. !he season was not over 63ugust &--,7
but reports say that devotees thinned and tre$$ed bac$. o that
is another miracle. !hat in nutshell is my considered view on
gods and religion. !he concept of At!a and Para!at!a as
given in vedantic thought are the thoughts and e#periences of
certain conditioned mental e#ercises that doesnJt affect the
material reality in any way. (f course they change oneJs
mental ma$e up. !hose who are permeated with deep faith
could not alter their thoughts. %e are the witnesses today to
such a phenomena in religion oriented terrorism. !hey believe
in god given command to act against non believers. Every day
we hear about the conse>uences all over the world. !here is a
view that religions caused the highest number of $illings and
murders throughout history. !he sorry fact is that it continues
in this twenty first century.
I have red several articles that on the name of god, religion a
g)oo*d business flourishes . one can snatch everything one has.
(ne Eust needs to teach immortalitySS
K!ehel$aL 60-th 9un, &--<7 reported news that how different
religious gurus are eating away the hard earned money of poor
people.
63 part of that news is as below7
A&
K3s per estimates with the finance and home ministries, the
total turnover of ri ri )avi han$ar5s empire is
appro#imately )s +-- croreL,!urnovers of various other so
called religious ?urus are as 3saram .apu 6turnover )s 0,-
crore7, "ata 3mritanandamayi, H3mmaH, of Kerala 6turnover
)s +-- crore7, .aba )amdev of Cardwar 6turnover )s +--
crore7, udhanshu "aharaE 6turnover )s 0-- crore7, and
"urari .apu 6turnover )s 1,- crore7.
"embership rates of .aba )amdev K(rdinary membership4 )s
11,---. Conored membership4 )s &1,---. pecial
membership4 )s ,1,---. :ife membership4 )s 1 la$h.
)eserved membership4 )s &.,1 la$h. Bounder membership4 )s
, la$h.L
H!his is the best nirvana and it comes for a price,H says head of
the Delhi centre of (sho International "editation )esortL.
(utside the huge comple# in Delhi that houses the
International ociety for Krishna Gonsciousness 6IKG(/7
temple, a large billboard says, H.ecome a life member T all
donations accepted here.H !he price tag for a life membership
starts at )s 1-,---.
IsnJt this K?od-businessH profitable' /o wor$, no ta#es Eust
enEoy buc$sSSS !hese above mentioned names are few of those
who are eating away the money of poor but there are millions
other hidden in the remote parts of India those are ruining
many lives on the name K?odL.
/ow letJs see the money collected by some of the Cindu
temples every year 6figures must be higher as no ?ovt. has
ever tried to collect data about this W)ef4 Brom .oo$ named
KCindutav -- amasyao $i amasyaL by Dr. : ) .aliX
A0
!rimala !emple ,3rab 0& crores
)ama$rishnan "ission 13rab ,& crores
hiridi ai .aba A, crores
2liani Devsthan abha ,- crores
Dashno Devi 0- crores
Bew days bac$ all have read the news of special pathways at
the rate of )s. ,-- to )s 1--- for prayers at Dashno DeviSS
%here all this money is going nobody $nows. ItJs shame on
our part also that most of people those donate money on the
name of ?od comes from the poor families 1 that money
directly or indirectly is used against them only. "artin :uther
King has said KPltimate tragedy of man$ind is not the brutality
of few but the silence of many.L
Cowever, the e#perience felt by the Ad$aita (edantists seems
to be little different, meaning that the e#perience is
impersonal but still only a personal e#perience. !o loo$ at the
positive, the personal e#perience might influence oneJs
approach and behaviour to others in society but the society
itself is not changed. !he phenomena of the increasing
number of godmen and women in our midst have only helped
to draw a section of devotees into more and more
superstitious ways. !hey act not in defence of faith and nor
for progress of humanity.
3 good lot of people with faith in Dedanta philosophy accept it
as holistic fact that the e#periences thru yoga and meditations
are true at personal level. 2eople of different faiths might
e#perience something similar. %hen a Cindu claims this to his
devotion to )ama, Krishna, hiva etc, and a Ghristian claims it
as of 9esus, "ary or ?od, a "uslim views it as the e#perience
3llah. 3ll such e#periences goes to show that their gods are
different and e#clusive. !hus the claim for one god is
depended on recognition oneJs own god.
A+
3s for "ar#ism and communism they need serious re-thin$ing
and re-appraisal. !he thin$ing should accord with a scientific
facts and findings. !here were a lot of untested theories and
assumptions that came from the founders themselves. ome
might say that they had tight 6some say irrefutable7 reasoning
to support ideas and conclusions. .ut religions also claim such
reasoning, the vedantic thought is very much so. Cowever,
tight reasoning cannot be the only criteria for truth, reason
should be based on science, its facts and findings.
Cypothesises should be firmly discarded if not proven thru
scientific practice.
Bor instance public ownership of industries and collective
farming are said to have achieved impressive results in
production but it also brought irresponsibility and
unaccountability in their wa$e. !he way politicians ,
bureaucrats and private parties bleeded the public industries
appropriated its resources and generally used it for building
their regime of patronage system is also well $nown .the
industrialists and the ruling elite s$immed off the entire cream
of public sector profits for their private consumption. !hey
have collected the returns, reaped the profits and generally
demoralised the morale. the public sector has survived inspite
of them and because of he dogged determination of the
wor$ing people in the country to preserve their Eobs,
security ,dignity and future .as far as the public sector ban$s O
from the infamous /agrvala to e>ually flamboyant Carshad
"ehta , Ketan 2are$h, etc -scams , non returned of the dues
borrowed by big industrialists euphemistically called as /23Js
are only increasing in their volume and audacity.
oviet Pnion achieved a lot but failed to improve the daily life
of its citi@en. I have read a lot of critical as well as appreciative
views. 3t first all criticisms were dismissed as bourgeois.
3nswering criticism was not based on source materials
collected and collated but thru political arguments based on
A,
ideological positions, much of them untested and therefore
dogmatic. !here after some short comings were recognised
and addressed but they were e#plained away with certain
realities %orld %ar II, cold war compulsions etc. !o thin$ an
enormous stoc$ of good will from all the peoples of the world
towards socialism and communism was frittered away by the
post war communist leadership in the oviet Pnion and
elsewhere. %hat ever might have been in pre war years, such
as democratic methods, freedom of thought etc. etc. should
have been brought to the forefront in post war years. "any
things could have been corrected suitable corrective action
ta$en and necessary changes in practice should have been
adopted. .ut some things came in the way. 2eople who were
installed without a bac$ ground to democracy and freedom are
incapable to recognise their values in ?ovt. Gommunists in
history wor$ed for a revolution carried out by a militant
ideologues who claimed as the sole and only representative of
the wor$ing classes. .ecause of the bra@en practices the
communists in Italy and Brance who in reality represented the
over whelming maEority of the wor$ing class in their
respective countries failed to register progress and are finally
out of sight today.
I thought and was confident that the communists because of
their learning and training in "ar#ism will surely correct the
short comings. .ut slowly I am losing hope. !he final blow to
my conviction and devotion to communism when report of the
speech made by Khrushchev to the YYth Gongress of the
communist party of oviet Pnion. !he te#t was not released to
the public by authorities. I got the te#t of this speech put out
by the PI. It changed all my thoughts and perception there
after. Gapitalism and imperialism are very much in public with
their malevolent past and present. !hey had to be replaced to
bring in an e>uitable society %ays and means has to be found
A=
other than that were adapted by the communists or li$e minded
groups of people.
!he idea of building communism, a society in which the state
would have withered away, turned out to be a dangerous
illusion. %hat was built instead was Gommunism, an
oppressive party-state which was authoritarian at best and
ruthlessly totalitarian at worst. 3lthough it had some common
features, it changed over time and differed hugely from one
part of the world to another. !he oviet Pnion was a far less
fearful place to inhabit in the .re@hnev era than it was in the
late 1F0- s. 2oland and Cungary throughout the Gommunist
period were manifestly undemocratic, but life there was
>ualitatively less oppressive and thuggish than it was in Ghina
during the years in which the Gultural )evolution was
wrea$ing havoc, so was ruthless suppressing of the
!iananmen >uare protesters in 1FAF by the subse>uent
regimes. %hen the leaders of the Gommunist 2arty in Ghina
originally began their programme of reforms, they had no idea
that they were preparing the way for capitalist restoration. .ut
the introduction of some mar$et measures 6in the name of
efficiency7 has, over a long period of time, led to the
restoration of capitalism, with a massive increase in ine>uality,
the destruction of the social welfare system, etc.

Gommunism in east-central Europe, more generally, was bad
enough, especially during the years when talin was still alive,
but it never came close to being as murderous as 2ol 2otJs
GambodiaNKampuchea.
The Cuban revolution is commonly regarded as
the frst socialist revolution in the Western
Hemisphere. ocial revolution which undoubtedly too$
place in Guba with the elimination of international and
indigenous capitalism and landlordism in itself, promised to
guarantee the socialist character and evolution of a regime.
A<
Yet the subse>uent regimes discrediting of the talinist
regimes of Eastern Europe and the former oviet Pnion, with
the bureaucratic elite that dominated these societies switching
over to capitalism with as little difficulty as a man passing
from a smo$ing to a non-smo$ing compartment on a train,
indicates the wea$ness of such an approach. !hey were also
described as socialist by their apologists. !he Guban
)evolution, which triumphed over the hated .atista regime
+= years ago in 9anuary 1F,F, thus endured many predictions
of its imminent demise. !he achievements of the revolution,
particularly in the field of health, housing and education,
contrast favourably in the minds of the oppressed masses of
the neo-colonial world 6particularly in :atin 3merica7 with
the dismal economic prospects open to them on the basis of
rotted landlordism and capitalism. !he havoc wrea$ed by the
3sian tsunami could be compounded in the ne#t period by an
*economic tsunamiJ much greater in its impact on the
economies, and therefore on the lives of the masses, of the
poorest areas of the world. !oday there is a strong current
amongst !oday Guban economists, and the government is
openly advocating these measures in favour of abandoning
the planned economy altogether, introducing mar$et
mechanisms at all levels and opening up the country to
foreign investment in all sectors. !hat is, they are in favour of
capitalism. Today workers government are absent
in Cuba. I is clear that the Cuban revolution had
progressive eatures! it is e"ually clear that it
has ailed to lay the oundation o a workers
government that can steer a road to socialism.
This task still conronts the Cuban working class.
!he notion that the problems of the Guban economy can be
solved by promoting the private sector is a most serious error,
and one that can pose serious dangers for the future of the
)evolution. !hus #ocialism has become a word
appropriated by so many di$erent champions
AA
and causes that it threatens to become
meaningless! and anew e$ort is needed to sort it
out.
!oday ocialism is li$e a hat which had lost its shape because
too many people had worn it. It is li$e chameleon creed
which changes its color according to its environment. Cence
in many countries, the obvious course for people who had
Eoined the Gommunist 2arty for idealistic reasons was to
leave it once they had found how wide was the gap between
their ideals and the practice of power within even their own
non-ruling party.
3lthough democracy has been debated off and on for some
years, its practice has been rare in human e#perience. !here
can be many false starts. Bormer Gommunist states are not
alone in retreating, in many cases, from democrati@ation
before they have advanced very far along the road to
democracy. !hat form of government comes, of course, in
different institutional forms, but in essence must include the
real, and not merely nominal, possibility for a people to hold
their rulers accountable and to turn them out of office in free
and fair elections. !he good news, as is that democracies, once
firmly established, are remar$ably resilient.
Gonsolidated democracies are hardly ever e#changed for a
form of authoritarian rule, and however imperfectly they
function, they have shown themselves more capable of
delivering Eustice as well as freedom
In H3nimal BarmH, (rwell an allegorical novel published in
1F+, 6 my first year science61F<-7 non detail boo$ 7 describes
how power turned the pigs from simple HcomradesH to ruthless
dictators who managed to wal$ on two legs, and carry whips.
!he story maybe seen as an analysis of the oviet regime or as
a warning against political power games of an absolute nature
and totalitarianism in general. 2ower corrupts, but absolute
AF
power corrupts absolutely-and this is vividly and elo>uently
proved in (rwell5s short novel. H3nimal BarmH. In states where
Indian communist parties came to power , with in few years,
I witnessed (rwellian predilections , as lifestyles of leaders
in these communist parties , their frontline organi@ations and
even trade union was nothing different from the other
bourgeoisies parties they critici@ed-&o!!#nis! in words and
&aitalis! in deeds . Ideology, formerly the driving force of
the party, had turned a blind eye towards the plight of the
disadvantaged sections during their 6mis7 rule in the states.
!oday they have abandoned its ideology and have degraded
itself into merely a political entity li$e other parties 2ower
corrupts, but absolute power corrupts absolutely-and this was
vividly and elo>uently proved by the functions of communists
parties in India after they came to power in states.
3fter several researches and studies I understood , !he term
globali@ation has come into vogue in the wa$e of long drawn
out crisis since early 1F<-Js and particularly 1FA-.
?lobali@ation means globali@ation of capitalism , that is the
spread of capitalist relations of production , capitalist values
and ethics to newer spheres and wider regions in the world . It
ahs reshaped the needs of the individual, family and the entire
society. It ahs converted every product of human labour into
the commodity form to create mar$et. It has transformed
personal values and relationships. 2ersonal power today has
become supreme value of both elites and their supposed
adversaries. ocial solidarity is stigmati@ed, disdained or
related the marginal groups. !he ideals of the ruling class has
found e#pression at all levels of society as drug dealers,
imitated speculators. !o sum up love has become se#, se# has
become e#ercise, e#ercise has become fitness, fitness has
become food, all became commerciali@ed, and the informing
principle is Kwar of all against allL is what globali@ation of
F-
capital has ushered in. Pri$ati2e the rofits so&iali2e the losses
is the ana&ea offered 'y the rota%onists of %lo'ali2ation.
3long with globali@ation has emerged a new international
division of labour and growth of a global mar$et whether we
li$e it or not we are witnessing employment , wages and
conditions of wor$ in every civili@ed nation shaped by forces
that are international in character and increasingly beyond the
control of the collective bargaining that goes on in any one
firm, one industry or one nation .!his organi@ational
innovation or the method of sub contracting out more and
more of the operations even in the most modern of the
corporation is increasingly being used both to obtain labour at
a very low price as well as to brea$ the organi@ed wor$force .
!his new international division of labour is also used as a
weapon to *divide and ruleJ the wor$ers and to reduce the
wor$ersJ capacity to go in for militant stri$es. %ith entire
world wor$ing class facing retrenchment, wage cuts , wage
free@e ,cuts in social welfare programme , voluntary
retirements or otherwise compulsory retirements
,informalisation and such other forms of e#ploitation ,
obEective conditions for waging a untied struggle at a world
level have also increased as never before. Cow right 3lbert
Einstein was when he said
HI fear the day when the technology overlaps with our
humanity. !he world will only have a generation of idiotsL
!hrough out the globe I find today voters alienations evident
as the differences between the traditional :eft and )ight
converge around imaginary agenda while the parties shrin$ in
the face of their incapacity respond to crisis. I find soccer and
cric$et matches attracting more attention then political
campaign as they provide a distraction from political
deceptions, economic illusions and insecurities and hardships
which are bitter legacy of the policies of political elite. It ahs
F1
become increasingly common to read and hear people say
electoral regimes are not the same as *democracyJ. !he gap
between electoral political elite 6their media and academic
publicists7 and populace is widening, e#tending to wor$ing
people and students who bear the brunt of the crisis and see no
electoral parties addressing their interests.
Gapitalism is evil, communism is discredited, and socialism
isn5t wor$ing, are the mantras that many vested interests,
opportunists have ta$en on as a slogan and political platform
through out the globe. o what is the alternative' !his
>uestion must have at least crossed the minds of millions,
perhaps hundreds of millions, around the world as they
watched the credit crunch, financial meltdown and recession
unfold over the past few months. !he problem, of course, is
that for those same millions most of their conditioning - from
politicians, media, education and a good deal of their
e#perience - will have been to answer that there is no
alternative. /o alternative to capitalism as such at any rate8 no
alternative that goes beyond a modified version of capitalism.
Even now I hold the view that social is the supreme ideology ,
e#cept that the means to achieve the same has been incorrect in
many rQgimes as e#plained above .
In fact, a definite and clearly articulated alternative - socialism
- has e#isted for at least 1=- years 6Karl "ar# and Brederic$
Engels wrote The Co!!#nist Manifesto in 1A+A7. ocialism is
very straightforward and, compared to capitalism, e#tremely
simple. It means social 6or collective7 ownership and control
of the main means of production 6land, factories, businesses,
ban$s, etc7 and production for human need, not profit, and
with this the abolition of class divisions.
!o put it in simple form if you have bigger concerns than how
much money you can put in your own ban$ account, the idea
F&
of socialism ma$es perfect sense. If your only true concern is
to ma$e as much as you can and somehow ta$e it with you
when you die, well, socialism doesnJt loo$ so great, I would
imagine.
ocialist planning will not be socialist and will not wor$
practically unless it is democratic and actively involves the
mass of ordinary people. 3gain the years of conditioning
ensure that a little conservative ideologue pops up in our head
and says, H!hat5ll never happen. (rdinary people, wor$ing
class people, can5t run things. !hey are not clever enough.
!hey haven5t had enough education or management training,
etc. .esides, there will always be someone who gets to the top
and ta$es advantage.
.ut to see the capabilities of wor$ing people Eust loo$ at any
wor$place you $now. If the manager is off sic$ or away on
holiday, does it grind to halt' (f course not, because the
wor$ers, between them, already $now how the place wor$s.
%e have often witnessed corrupt GE(Js in many firms
suspended, prosecuted and then sac$ed for corruption and
replaced. .ut the company y ran perfectly normally. .ut if the
careta$ers 6who, apart from the cleaners, are the lowest paid
wor$ers in the institution7 stop wor$ing the whole place shuts
down, or rather doesn5t even open in the morning.
3s for some people getting to the top and abusing their
position, this will be a problem, not because it is human
nature, but because socialism has to be built by people brought
up under capitalism, not by saints and angels. !he answer is to
develop mechanisms for controlling and removing such
individuals, !hose mechanisms are4 ma$e all public officials
subEect to election and recall and pay them a wor$er5s wage.
.ut these mechanisms wor$ best when they are based on
elections in wor$places and other institutions where collective
debate can ta$e place.
F0
Beeding the hungry, housing the homeless, ending ine>uality
and class divisions, democratic planning of the economy,
stopping climate change, establishing international peace and
unity, and all the changes that socialism would bring have as
their precondition the revolutionary overthrow of capitalism by
the wor$ing class, first in one country and then internationally.
%or$ers5 councils are $ey to this. !hey begin, within
capitalism, as organi@ers of the wor$ers5 struggle against the
bosses, growing out of mass stri$es and factory occupations.
!hey develop into an alternative centre of power, rivaling the
old capitalist state, and then in the decisive step of progress
they replace the corrupt , hegemonic state and establish
wor$ers5 power - a power which rests on the obEective position
of the wor$ing class in the modern world economy but which
also liberates and mobili@es the creative energies and talents of
tens of millions. (nce that happens, a better world, a far better
world, will move from being a possibility to being a reality.
Brom before the time of 9esus, since we have written records,
we $now that people don5t li$e to be treated li$e dirt. !hey
tolerate it for longer or shorter periods of time, but eventually,
ine>uality gives rise to struggle. /eedles to underscore here
that partacus led a slave revolt against )ome .the division of
the world by capitalism into rich and poor , the growing
ine>ualities and income disparities doesn5t automatically solve
any of our problems. Karl "ar# once defined socialism as the
self-emancipation of the wor$ing class. %hat he meant was
that genuine radical change can only come from mass struggle.
!his is necessary because the ruling elite will never voluntarily
give up their power. And because only direct participation in
their own liberation will give millions of people the
opportunity to learn how to overcome divisions that capitalism
places among them. /o politician or bureaucrat or great leader
F+
can substitute for the wor$ing class fighting for itself. (f
course, having this long-term view in mind doesn5t for a
moment mean that socialists sit around waiting for the
revolution. In fact, most of what we can do is to wor$
alongside people who don5t believe that socialism is possible
or even desirable, but who nonetheless want to fight for
concrete reforms in the here and now. 3t the same time, we
should try to convince people we wor$ alongside that the only
way to win lasting social and economic Eustice and to end war
and racism for good is to get rid of capitalism and replace it
with a socialist system based on wor$ers5 democracy. %e need
to put people before profits. !he last thing to say about
socialist ideas is they aren5t worth a nic$el unless they are put
into practice. ?iven that we should not holding our breath for
*neo- richJ to ma$e huge donations to our movement, the only
thing we have going for us is organi@ation. It5s a simple fact
that combining our efforts helps to amplify the voice for
radical change.
%hile we should believe that only mass actions can challenge
the power of the system, we also $now that most movements
in history have started with a committed minority of
organi@ers. !he point isn5t to form an organi@ation separate
from the movement, but rather to pool our resources,
e#perience and energy to involve as many other people as we
can, and to challenge the political influence of the mass media
and mainstream politicians. the immutable >uote of Karl "ar#
in 1A+, the hilosohers ha$e only interreted the world, the
oint is to &han%e itH ahs becoming more relevant than ever
before today . %or$ing class has a long fight ahead of us.
.ut how could the hopes of ordinary people including the
poorest for a better tomorrow, better opportunity to live a life
of honour and dignity could ever be realised' 3ll the well
meaning and fair-minded people shall strive to bring out a
F,
changes in minds, thoughts and practices on an over whelming
maEority of people. 2lan of action arise out of the changes
brought. It will undergo changes as the process goes on, an
absolutely open society. !hat might sound too optimistic but I
believe based upon the science of evolution that the society of
future will progress towards an ideal. I am also sure that as
humansJ progress towards ideal, the ideal itself undergoes
change for there will be no end to progress. Yes, change is the
law of nature. 3n end to change will signal the e#tinction of
human$ind.
I have an elder friend, who analyses peopleJs movements as
well as with whom I am in constant contact. Inflicted with
maEor health problems he moves in with great difficulty. Ce
was telling me that he has lost all appetite in life and awaits to
its end. .ut he is still a good communist in his thoughts and
also much clear in his idea though much of them according to
me are dated. (ptimism for the future of the world not for self.
"y close friends today who remain a resonant unit till date
from the days we came together at a spontaneous impulse to
Eoin movement in our best days , are much closer to my own
idea During the tal$s they e#hibit an optimism about the
future. !hough many current developments are disheartening
we do feel, optimistic that a generation will arrive imbued with
science and start altering the society and thru it the world.
Binally In my belief the importance of the moral element in
socialist production should be the paramount consideration for
socialists today. !hat is obviously true but it can only be
guaranteed in a regime of wor$ersJ control, when every wor$er
feels that he or she is responsible for ta$ing the decisions that
affect production and every aspect of life, which can ushered
in true socialist model of society. Cowever, given the serious
problems that e#ist, some element of material incentives will
F=
be necessary. !he basic principle, at this stage, will remain4
from each according to his ability, to each according to the
wor$ performed. !his implies the e#istence of wage
differentials, as was also in the case in )ussia immediately
after the )evolution. .ut there should be a ceiling on
differentials, which should tend to reduce in the future, to the
degree that production increases and with it, the wealth and
wellbeing of society. .ut the biggest incentive is clearly when
the wor$ers feel that the country, the economy and the state
belongs to them, and that can only be achieved if it is the
wor$ers themselves who ta$e all decisions and all elected
officials are accountable to them. (nly on this basis can the
socialist base of )evolution be defended and the capitalist
counterrevolution defeated.
(n my own part I $eep optimism alive though I myself have no
personal desires to fulfil, no demands to meet, no aims to achieve.
%hen I said this to young growing activists they dismiss such tal$
as pessimistic. !o be pessimist in oneJs own life and optimistic for
the future of the world is not a sign of defeatism. !hey donJt
contradict each other. !hey show a reality that is profound.
!oday to be rational is revolutionary. It means resisting the
irrationalism of ideas and policies to detriment the interests of
wor$ing people. olidarity movements, action and courage to
sustain such a rationality that is what should be our goal. !he old
order is dying, threatening to bring us down. !he new order is
struggling to be born.
The materialist doctrine that men are roducts o! circumstances
and u"rin#in# $ and that $ there!ore $ chan#ed men are roducts
o! other circumstances and chan#ed u"rin#in# $ tar#ets that it
is men that chan#e circumstances and that the educator himsel!
needs educatin# % &'(arl Mar)*+,-./
F<
+++End but not The End+++
,#T-S
17 also spelled H:ennoyH and sometimes called 5Gaptain De
:annoy57 6 1<1, O 1 9une 1<<<, Pdayagiri Bort7 was
a Blemishnaval commander of the Dutch East India
Gompany, who was sent by the company to help establish a
trading post at Golachel, outhern India, but was defeated at
the .attle of Golachel by the !ravancore army
under "aharaEa "arthanda Darma in 1<+1, and subse>uently
became a valiant and successful commander of the same
foreign army that had defeated him. Cis role as military
commander of the !ravancore army was instrumental in the
later military successes and e#ploits
of !ravancore under "arthanda Darma.
&7 !he ?rantha script grantha e%uttu7 was widely used between
the =th century and the 1Fth century GE by !amil spea$ers
in outhern India, particularly in !amil /adu and Kerala, to
write ans$rit
07 3gnihotri is person who has done YaEnas and one who
performs 3gnihotra daily with faith and full trust in the
3lmighty can be called an 3gnihotri. !he one who means it
when he says Hidam, na mamaH 66( :ord, all this is7 Yours,
/(! mine7 is a true 3gnihotri. 3gnihotra 6Coma7 consists of
ma$ing two offerings to the fire e#actly at the time of sunrise
1 sunset along with two small ans$rit mantras. 3gnihotra is
regarded a process of purification of the atmosphere as a
cumulative effect of various scientific and sonic principles
harnessed to give rise to an unparalled purifying and healing
phenomenon. !he benefits, both spiritual and mundane, that
accrue to sacrificers is said to be enormous
+7 /ormally saris are si# yards in length but since the madisar is
worn in a different style, one re>uires a nine-yard sari to wear
FA
it. .rahmin wear madisars for all important occasions in their
lives, starting with marriage, followed by eemantham 6form
of a baby shower7, all important 2uEa, and death
ceremonies.Iyers and Iyengars wear "adisars differently.
Iyers drape the 2allu 6the layer of sari which comes over
one5s shoulder7 over the right shoulder while Iyengars wear it
over the left shoulder
,7 It meant for young girls. It is half saree. !he unders$irt for
the saree is called pavadai and in Cindi its called lehenga
i
A LIFE T0AT MATTERS
.eady or not, some day it /ill all come to an end.
There /ill e no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. %ll
the things /e collected, /hether treasured or forgotten, /ill
pass to someone else.
FF
#ur /ealth, fame and temporal po/er /ill shrivel to
irrelevance. It /ill not matter /hat /e o/ned or /hat /e /ere
o/ed.
#ur grudges, resentments, frustrations, and 0ealousies /ill
finally disappear. So, too, our hopes, amitions, plans, and to-
do lists /ill expire.
The /ins and losses that once seemed so important /ill fade
a/ay.
It /on1t matter /here /e came from, or on /hat side of the
trac2s /e lived, at the end.
It /on1t matter /hether /e /ere eautiful or rilliant.
-ven our gender and s2in color /ill e irrelevant.
So /hat /ill matter3 4o/ /ill the value of our days e
measured3 5hat /ill matter is not /hat /e ought, ut /hat
/e uilt6 not /hat /e got, ut /hat /e gave.
5hat /ill matter is not our success, ut our significance. 5hat
/ill matter is not /hat /e learned, ut /hat /e taught.
5hat /ill matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage
or sacrifice that enriched, empo/ered or encouraged others to
emulate our example.
5hat /ill matter is not our competence, ut our character.
5hat /ill matter is not ho/ many people /e 2ne/, ut ho/
many /ill feel a lasting loss /hen /e are gone.
5hat /ill matter is not our memories, ut the memories that
/ill live in those /ho loved us.
1--
5hat /ill matter is ho/ long /e /ill e rememered, y /hom
and for /hat.
7iving a life that matters doesn1t happen y accident. It1s not a
matter of circumstance ut of choice.
8hoose to live a life that matters.
95e are, or ecome, those things /hich /e repeatedly do.
Therefore, -xcellence can ecome not 0ust an event, ut a
hait
-%lert -instein.
1-1
I submissively state I wish to stand corrected on some views of
mine e#pressed in this story with a better thin$ing and reasoning
from other $nowledgeable persons about the subEect
1-&