10 Ways To Improve Your

Personality
Contrary to what you may think, you can improve your personality.
Until quite recently it was believed that personality is permanent. In
1890 William James, the famous Harvard psychologist, wrote in his
influential work The Principles of Psychology, that personality was "set in
plaster" by early adulthood. This view prevailed for over a century;
however, the idea that personality is more fluid has gained ground over
time. We are now at the point where we realize that we have influence
and control over which traits and characteristics we want to develop or
refine.
What is Personality?
The "personality" is the typical pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaviors that make a person unique.
When we say that someone has a "good personality" we mean that they are likeable, interesting and
pleasant to be with.
Everyone wants to be attractive to others. To that end, having a good personality is vital - probably
even more so than good looks. In fact, approximately 85 percent of your success and happiness will
be a result of how well you interact with others. Ultimately, it is your personality that determines
whether people are attracted to, or shy away from you.
While we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent, we have the ability to improve the
personality as much as we want. We can develop or integrate any trait we deem fitting and agreeable.
Here are some ways we can accomplish this:
1. Be a better listener.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered one of the most charming women in the world
because she cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She was known for the way
she would look a person in the eyes, hang on their every word, and make them feel important.
There is nothing more appealing than having someone listen to you intently making you feel
like you're the only person in the world.
2. Read more and expand your interests.
The more you read and cultivate new interests, the more interesting you are to others. When
you meet new people it gives you the opportunity to share what you know and to exchange
your views with them.
3. Be a good conversationalist.
This relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much
to contribute, learn how to talk about it with others. No one can read
about or know everything, so it's refreshing to learn from others
those things we don't have the time to about read ourselves. If you happen to be shy, join a
group like Toastmasters that encourages you to talk about what you know.
Enjoy the article on The Art of Conversation!
4. Have an Opinion.
There is nothing more tiresome than trying to talk to someone who has no opinion on
anything. A conversation has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on. If, however,
you have an uncommon point of view or differing opinion, you are more interesting and
stimulating to be with socially (unless you're a know-it-all, of course). A unique outlook
expands everyone's perspective.
5. Meet New People.
Make the effort to meet new people especially those unlike you. It not only exposes you to
different cultures and alternative ways of doing things, it broadens your horizons.
6. Be yourself.
The next most tiresome thing after having no opinions is trying to be something you're not.
Molding yourself in order to fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us is unique,
expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting. Attempting to be a carbon copy of
someone else not only falls flat, but reveals a lack of authenticity.
7. Have a positive outlook and attitude.
Who wants to be around people who are negative, complain a lot, or have nothing good to
say? In fact, most of us run when we see them coming. Instead, be the kind of upbeat person
who lights up a room with your energy when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in
people and things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven others with your presence.
See: How to Think Positively
8. Be fun and see the humorous side of life.
Everyone enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh, or
smile, so look for the humorous, quirky side in a situation - there always
is one. Comic relief is a much welcome and needed diversion at times.
When you can add fun and lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or
gloomy setting, others will naturally be attracted to you, not to mention
grateful.

9. Be supportive of others.
Being supportive is probably the most endearing quality you can integrate into your
personality. Just as you yourself welcome it, be the support for others when they need it. We
all love a cheerleader in our corner; someone who is encouraging, believes in us and helps
pick us up when we're down.
10. Have Integrity and treat people with respect.
Being honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration, respect and gratitude of
others. Nothing improves a person's personality more than integrity and respect - respect for
others, as well as respect for yourself.
We humans have the power and ability to shape our personalities however we wish. When we develop
ourselves to be all that we can be, we contribute to our own, as well as the happiness of others.


How to Be Mature
82 authors | 365 revisions | Last updated: 9 hours agoOctober 11, 2012
Article
EditDiscuss
Are you tired of being pulled into childish conversations and petty arguments? Do you want to be looked up to
as "the adult in the room"? Follow the tips in this article to learn to be mature in every situation.

Edit Steps
Be Courteous
1. 1

Use good manners when you interact with people.
Use good manners when you interact with people. Shake hands with a solid grip, and look the person in the
eye. Repeat his or her name and make an effort to remember it.
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o Throughout the conversation, listen carefully and maintain eye contact. Avoid fidgeting or fiddling with
random objects.
o If you're not sure about the proper etiquette for a particular situation, notice what others are doing and
follow suit. After the event, check an etiquette guide to find out the appropriate way to behave.
o When you enter a new situation or new community, keep quiet for awhile and notice how others
conduct themselves. Then act accordingly.
2. 2
Observe good online etiquette.
o Turn off your caps lock key. Capitalize proper nouns and the beginnings of sentences.
o Proofread before you send an e-mail or make a social media post. Use complete sentences.
o Go easy on abbreviations, slang and emoticons. A sprinkling of these in an informal message can add
color, but try to keep your online presence as professional as possible.
o Avoid speaking 1337 when not necessary . In other words, don't send texts such as: 1 h4v3 l0t5 0f
fr13nd5. Your posts will be difficult to read, and you won't look mature.
o Treat controversial topics with respect online. Don't start arguments over sensitive subjects like religion
and politics.
3. 3
Be helpful. Hold doors, help pick things up and offer assistance to anyone who needs it without prejudice.
4. 4
Avoid trying to be the center of attention all the time. People will notice your need for attention, and they
will assume that you're immature. People will enjoy listening to your contributions if you allow them the chance
to speak as well.
5. 5
Say "thank you" and "you're welcome." Say pleasant things like, "Have a nice day."
6. 6
Smile politely at strangers, and greet people that you know.
7. 7

Accept both compliments and criticism gracefully.
Accept both compliments and criticism gracefully. If somebody has taken the trouble to compliment you,
then act appreciative. If someone criticizes you, say, "thank you for your feedback, I'll definitely think it over."
You can decide later whether the criticism is valid, but you'll appear mature in the moment.
Communicate Like a Mature Person
1. 1
Control your temper. Don't overreact to something minor.
o If you must say something or disagree with someone, then do so tactfully and in a calm tone of voice.
You'll find that people respond more positively.
o When you need to get people's attention, yelling and shouting will make the chaos worse. Simply say,
"May I have your attention please" until they listen, or use a non-verbal gesture such as raising your
hand.
o Take deep breaths and count to 3. You may think it's stupid, but it works.
o If you have a temper, people may enjoy provoking you. When you control your temper, they will lose
interest in making you angry.
2. 2

Avoid swearing in professional situations.
Avoid swearing in professional situations. Instead, use more appropriate and accurate words to
communicate your displeasure with something.
3. 3
Talk about mature topics to people, such as work, the news, life experiences and life lessons you have
learned. Say something polite about how people dress, what they say or how they conduct themselves. If you
can't say something positive, then don't say anything.
4. 4
Learn to apologize sincerely for your mistakes, inappropriate words and actions towards others. You
might have to practice to overcome your pride, but a genuine apology when you've done something wrong
demonstrates true maturity.
5. 5
Avoid even white lies. Even seemingly innocent lies will come back to haunt you.
6. 6
Stop whining. If you've lost an argument, then be gracious. If you're right, other people will realize it
eventually.
7. 7

Don't gossip and say hurtful things about other people when they aren't around.
Don't gossip and say hurtful things about other people when they aren't around.
Have a Mature Mindset
1. 1
Demonstrate genuine goodwill toward others. Goodwill toward others is a sign of maturity because it shows
that you have recognized that "we are all in this together."
2. 2

Be the bigger person if someone is unkind to you.
Be the bigger person if someone is unkind to you. If you can let it go, don't reply; your silence will
communicate your disapproval. If you can't let it go, simply tell the person that their comment was rude.
3. 3
Have confidence in yourself. Do not apologize for bits of quirkiness, oddities or weirdness that you may have.
As long as your behaviors aren't antisocial, then you should accept them as unique components of your
individual personality.
4. 4
Keep an open mind. Just because you have never heard of or tried something, doesn't mean you should shut
it out or dismiss the possibility. Rather, see it as an opportunity for you to learn about something (or someone)
new and different.
5. 5

Pick mature friends.


Stress Management Strategies -
How to Deal With Stress
Stress management strategies are more important than ever in these
chaotic, uncertain, and quickly changing times. Our modern lifestyle is
fraught with deadlines, pressures and various frustrations on a day to
day basis. No wonder we find ourselves frazzled, spent and
overwhelmed.
Of course, stress isn't always a bad thing. In small doses it can help
motivate you by providing the edge needed to gear up to a higher level
of performance.
Quite often it can be the push that propels you to do your best;
however, if you always operate at full throttle, it will take a hazardous
toll on your mind and body.
What is Stress?
Stress is a normal physical response to real or imagined threats. It is
the body's 'fight-or-flight' reaction to impending harm or danger - a necessary defense mechanism
wired into us since the beginning of our existence. When working properly the stress response helps
us stay focused and alert. In extreme cases it's what gives us both that extra boost of strength and
energy to defend ourselves in life threatening situations, as well as the ability to react with
extraordinary speed and presence of mind in the face of imminent danger.

Of course, the type of stress we deal with daily is somewhat different from the stress needed to keep
us alert and vigilant. The stress that we need management strategies for is the type that makes us
feel 'not in control' and damages health, productivity, relationships and overall quality of life. While it
may appear that we have no control over this type of stress, we have more than we realize.

For one thing, while we may not be able to control certain stressful situations in our lives, we can
certainly control how we respond to them and we can respond by taking charge of our thoughts,
emotions and manner in which deal with them.

Stress management entails changing what we can about a stressful situation when possible, or
changing our response to it when we cannot. Ultimately, the goal is to live a balanced life with time for
work, leisure and relationships by having the ability to deal with pressure and stressful situations with
resilience and composure.
Strategies for Dealing With Stress
Identify the stressors in your life. As simple as it sounds, many people aren't even aware of what
stresses them out, nor does everyone find the same things stressful. One person's stress can be
another's challenge or motivation. Similarly, few people realize how much their own thoughts, feelings
and behaviors contribute to their stress. We are each in charge of how we interpret events in
our lives. We are also in charge of behaviors such as procrastination, lack of organization, and
inattention that lead to deadline worries, not paying bills on time and inability to accomplish important
tasks which, in turn, cause stress. Therefore, the first import step is to identify the stressors in your
life and the ways you might be contributing to them.

Simplify Your Life. If you are burning yourself out by doing too much, start cutting back on some of
your unproductive, yet time consuming and energy draining activities. No one can do everything.
Set your priorities and make room for doing what you value and find most important. Equally
important is learning to say NO! Delegate and redistribute tasks if you have to, but don't try to do it
all. Hire a cleaning service one day a week, get a baby sitter to pick up the kids after school, have a
lawn service do the landscaping. Feeling stressed and overburdened comes from taking on too much
and not balancing it with relaxation and down time.
See article: 5 Tips for a Well Balanced Life

Reduce effects of stress by eating well, exercising regularly and
getting enough sleep. I don't know about you, but when I'm hungry,
sluggish (from inactivity) or tired, I am very stressed and grumpy! Not
getting the nutrients your body needs to stay healthy causes both
mental and physical stress; so does not getting enough sleep. And
regular exercise not only releases tension and stress while you're doing
it, it builds stamina and endurance enabling you to handle stress
better. Most people totally underestimate the importance of
maintaining good physical health to ward off stress and anxiety.
Article: Benefits of Regular Exercise

Accept that there are things you cannot change. As we all know, there are many things in life
beyond our control such as the death of a loved one, job loss, illness, or even the behavior of others.
As difficult as it may be at first, in such cases, the best thing we can do is accept things as they are.
Secondly, we can choose how to react to the event. Some constructive ways include:
expressing what you are going through to a friend or therapist (healing)
keeping a journal to record thoughts and feelings (cathartic)
looking for opportunities for growth; learning from the experience (productive)
developing resilience (building inner strength)

There are also more common causes of unavoidable stress such as job interviews, taking an exam,
having to make a presentation, a disagreement with someone, and similar situations. In such cases it
helps to to know how to stay as composed as possible. Deep breathing techniques, visualization
(mentally rehearsing the event) and preparing yourself as much in advance as you can, dramatically
lessens the stress you will experience.

Manage stress in healthy ways. Do you currently cope with stress in healthy or unhealthy ways? If
your current coping mechanisms are unhealthy, you are compounding the problem. Unhealthy ways of
handling stress include, abusing alcohol, taking various pills,
smoking, over or under eating, watching too much television,
taking your frustrations out on others, and overall avoidance of
your
problems. If you are already under stress and dealing with it in
ways that are detrimental to your health, you are making matters
much worse by compounding the stress.
Not surprisingly, we all have unique responses to stress and how
we choose to handle it. The trick is to find what works for YOU!

One of the best studied stress relievers is the relaxation response, first described by Harvard's Herbert
Benson, M.D. The beauty of this technique is that it requires no special posture or place. For instance,
if you happen to be stuck in traffic, or if you're having trouble falling asleep you can do it. Here's how:
1. Sit or lay back comfortably. Close your eyes and relax your muscles.
2. Breathe deeply. To make sure that you are breathing deeply, place one hand on your
stomach, the other on your chest. Breathe in slowly through your nose and as you do you
should feel your stomach (not your chest) rise.
3. Slowly exhale. As you do, focus on your breathing.
4. If thoughts begin to interfere don't dwell on them, just allow them to pass and return to
focusing on your breathing.
Although you can turn to this exercise any time you feel stressed, doing it regularly for 10 to 20
minutes at least once a day can put you in a generally calm frame of mind which can get you through
typically stressful situations.

More Healthy ways to Manage stress
o Meditation, yoga, or biofeedback techniques such as brain wave
therapy
o Exercise by going for a walk, lifting weights, jogging
o Spend time outdoors at the beach, in the woods, or sailing
o Have a chat with a good friend
o Take a hot, fragrant bath
o Go for a massage
o Listen to soothing music
o Set aside 20 minutes a day to do whatever you want, even nothing
o LAUGH more; watch a comedy movie or show - it relieves tension (See Article on Humor)
Unhealthy ways to deal with stress
o Excessive drinking
o Using drugs or pills to relax
o Sleeping too much
o Over or under eating
o Watching too much television
o Withdrawing from social activities
o Taking your stress out on others
Harmful Effects of Ongoing Stress
Adversely alters your body and brain chemistry (stress hormones, cortisol)
Weakens your immune system
Heart disease, hypertension, heart attack, stroke
Depression and anxiety
Ulcers, gastrointestinal irritabilities
Skin problems, hair loss
Headaches, migraines
Sexual dysfunction
We all know that life can be stressful, sometimes it's avoidable and sometimes not; however, if we
take responsibility for how we handle stress and implement effective strategies to deal with it, stress
will become a manageable component of everyday life, not a health damaging one.


The Elements of A Productive Mindset
What is a productive mindset?
A productive mindset is one that makes the best use of your resources
- your time, your energy and your efforts. It is not trying to do
everything and be everything, or even doing it in the quickest way
possible. It is making the most and best of what you have while
enjoying the process.
In order to make the most of who we are and what we have, there are certain qualities or
characteristics that assist us in accomplishing that end.
Here are some of the elements of a productive mindset:
Curiosity - The willingness to seek, question, and find answers for new and better ways of
doing something.
Desire or Motivation - Cultivate desire. Without desire or motivation there is nothing to
drive us to progress and improve. Inertia is the opposite of desire and a destroyer of progress.
Vision - To be able to visualize what you want helps you focus on it and gives you an idea of
what the outcome would look like. Without that picture in your mind, it would be more difficult
to strive for a goal. We've all read how men of 'great vision' have been able to accomplish the
seemingly impossible.
Critical Thinking - Acquire the ability to assess a situation in an objective manner or to see it
how it really is. Look at the pros and cons and be willing to make the appropriate adjustments.
Self-confidence - The faith and belief that you are fully capable and can do what you set out
to. Without self-confidence and faith you cannot reach your full potential.
Persistence - Most things do not come easily. Be willing to overcome obstacles and adversity.
Challenge yourself and persist in order to reach your goals. Do not let circumstances, the
opinions of others, or setbacks, thwart your determination to succeed.
Positive attitude or outlook - Your attitude, be it positive or negative, can make, or break,
you. Possessing a positive attitude allows for any possibility, while a negative one defeats you
before you can even start.
Open-mindedness - There is nothing like an open-mind for generating new and innovative
ideas. You become receptive to groundbreaking experiences when you are flexible and open-
minded.
Balance - Ultimately, to function well and get the most from life, we must maintain balance.
Working towards goals is important, but we must also take time to rejuvenate and recharge.
Doing too much, or pushing too hard on any one thing, can lead to burnout and frustration.
By integrating the above elements into our though processes, we not only cultivate a productive
mindset, we set ourselves up for reaching our goals more effectively, develop positive habits and we
sharpen our minds to function at high levels.