THE WAVERLY

GREENWICH, CT
Volume XIV Winter 1999

Tally Ho!
Here is the summary of the bidding and winnings for the 1998 Waverly. This Newsletter would like to thank
Commissioner Hakes for his fine effort organizing the 1998 Tournament, as well as Rudy for the towels, Woody for
the Waverly and Von Brotzman hats, Ray & Stan for the meat and cooking duties.

1997 1998 Total Calcutta Tourney CTP, LD, Total

Player Handicap Place Owner
Bid Bid Invested Prize $ Prize $ Skin & Team Winnings
Tim Bardo 6 5 Byler 70 110 55 80 50 61 191
Woody Brotzman 27 1 Gillette 102 160 170 240 150 44 434
Stan Byler 9 T6 Rudy N/A 100 105 140 10 44 194
Jim Cadden 20 T3 Leonardo 56 142 71 95 80 24 199
Tom Courtenay 12 2 Brotzman 56 70 35 110 110 34 254
Patrick English 26 T6 Leonardo 116 190 135 60 10 42 112
Billy Gillette 18 11 Brotzman 120 110 135 130 - 4 134
Sammy Goble 21 T3 Kurlich 110 130 65 95 80 26 201
Rick Hakes 15 T8 Leonardo 60 52 84 - - 30 30
Marty Kurlich 12 T8 Hakes 100 56 93 95 - 30 125
Ray Leonardo 12 10 English N/A 80 232 155 - 30 185
Rudy Marshburn 10 12 Hakes N/A 60 80 60 5 10 75
Others
Total 1,260 1,260 1,260 495 379 2,134

Holy Cow! (As submitted by Jim Cadden)

A foursome was on the last hole and when the last golfer drove off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised
his friends to play through and he would meet them at the clubhouse. They followed the plan and waited for their
friend. After considerable time he appeared disheveled, bloody, and badly beaten up. They all wanted to know what
the hell happened.

He explained that he went over to the cow pasture but could not find his ball. He noticed a cow wringin g her tail in
obvious pain. He went over and lifted her tail and saw a golf ball solidly embedded.

It was a yellow Titleist so he knew it was not his. Just then a woman comes out of the bushes apparently searching for
her lost golf ball. The helpful male golfer lifted the cow’s tail and asked “Does this look like yours?” and that was the
last thing he could remember.

Trivia
Who won the 1994 World Series? Consider yourself a baseball whiz, George Will status, if you can name the MVP.

They Said It
From Charles Munger - Some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it everyday.

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Waverly Portfolio
Recommended Buy Price 02/12/99 Profit Comments
IBM Summer 1995 $46 ½ $172 3/4 $126 Hold
Lockheed Martin Summer 1995 $29 ¾ $36 1/8 $7 Originally Loral
Ingersoll Rand Summer 1997 $41 2/3 $49 ¼ $8 Hold
McDonalds Winter 1997 $43 1/2 $81 1/3 $38 Great 2 year results
Paychex Winter 1997 $19 1/3 $44 11/16 $25 Excellent 2 year results
Berkshire Hathaway B Winter 1998 $1860 $2374 $514 Hold
Nike Winter 1998 $43 7/8 $49 11/16 $6 Hold
(All stock prices adjusted for splits. Prices courtesy of www.bigcharts.com)

Women
Things a wife should say:

1. I'll swallow it all . . . I love the taste.

2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
3. I'm bored. Let's shave my entire crotch!
4. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?
5. That was a great fart! Do another one!
6. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
7. You're so sexy when you're hungover.
8. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
9. Let's subscribe to Hustler.
10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?
11. Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses.
12. I'll be out painting the house.
13. I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday too.
14. Honey..our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!
15. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?
16. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.
17. Your mother is way better than mine is.
18. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's day thing and buy yourself new clubs.
19. I understand fully...our anniversary comes every year, you go golfing with the guys, it’s a great stress reliever.
20. What do you say we get a good porno movie, some beer, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome!
21. No, not the fucking mall again, come on let's go to that new strip joint!
22. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7.
23. You need your sleep you big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.
24. If I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!
25. I signed up for aerobics so that I can get my ankles behind my head for you.

News, Notes and Dirt (Submitted by Ricky Lee Hakes)

A few thoughts during a slow day at the office ……. Did you smell those towels Rudy gave out? What is her name!
……. Is anyone else worried about the nickname "Ray the Butcher"? ……. We've never eaten so well at a Waverly
……. We've never partied so little either ……. There is talk of impeachment of Jell-O Shot as Beverage Committee
chairman ……. : Was this the Waverly or the first round of the NHL playoffs? ……. Sammy is the only participant
who resides in Waverly ……. Does Stan have time for just one more practice swing? ……. . It's pretty bad when we
come home with unused "ballet" tickets ……. Separated at birth - Kelsey Grammar & Ray Leonardo ……. Handicap
skins? What the fuck is that? ……. Is a flag on the cart USGA legal?

Deadbeats
The two individuals that only gave Ricky Lee a $125 deposit still owe him $25. Please come forward, he already lost
enough on the weekend.

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Some Details on the 1999 Waverly
Ricky Lee is in tense negotiations with the Sea Trails Resort & Plantation to finalize the cost. Here is what we know to date:

Practice Round: Wednesday, May 5th (Afternoon tee time)

Tournament Rounds: Thursday, May 6th to Saturday, May 8th
Venues: Byrd, Maple & Jones Courses, also 1 course off site.

You should have recently received the Commissioner’s Invitation.

It Really Isn’t Funny

What started off to be a routine trip home for Ray the Butcher and Pat English can now only be described as hair
raising (and both could use a little of that). After departing from Sea Trails the two journeymen cruised down Rt. 17
to check out some of the eateries in Myrtle Beach and see if the leftover ballet tickets were good wampum. Finishing
the excursion, it was back onto I-40 for the ride to Raleigh-Durham Airport for a 5 PM flight back to the Big Apple.
Without boring you with all the details, the plane finally took off for LaGuardia at 11 PM. (Many beers purchased
with food voucher during the wait.) Once in NY the Ford Bronco was secured for what was hoped to be an uneventful
ride home. With about 2 miles to go and just over the Connecticut State line, the truck began losing power and thick
white smoke filled the air space immediately trailing the truck. We rolled to a stop and popped the hood only to see a
small oil fire dripping onto the road and smell black smoke. Reacting quickly, yet calmly, we first saved the clubs,
then the clothes out of the back of the truck. The fire quickly spread and engulfed the vehicle, melted the tires and
damaged the road. It was really one of life’s unique experiences – managing to shut down I-95 and back up traffic for
miles, this is one of the busiest thoroughfares in the tri-state area. Ray owned this truck for a number of years and had
vanity plates relating to his butcher business – BBQ TIME. When the firemen arrived they remarked how the plates
were very appropriate and even asked for one of the plates as a souvenir. It now proudly hangs in the Old Greenwich,
CT fire station. On a final note, after an intense letter writing campaign to US Airways we received $100 vouchers for
this year’s Waverly and we’ll use a car service for airport transportation.

The Field, The Skinny

The Commish 15 - Whatever happened to the good old days of handicaps by Stalin.
Razor Gillette 18 - When is this guy going to get enough handicap?
Woody 27 - More net double eagles and holes in one than I've ever seen.
Marty 12 - Some of the worst golf shots I've ever seen.
Bardo 6 – Still the low handicapper’s hero.
Courts 12 - Pretty boy now has a bracelet.
Rudy 10 – It was painful to watch. Hope he brings Pure Gold calendars this year.
Stan 9 - Give it up Stan, there is no such thing as a perfect swing.
Sam 21 - If only he could hit a driver.
Jim Jell-O Shot 20 – The unofficial most likely to win the 1999 Waverly candidate.
Ray 12 – Just look for the flag (who cares, the man can cook).
Patrick 26 - When is that golf swing going to finally live up to everyone's expectations?

Next edition of The Waverly Newsletter: Spring 1999.

Trivia answer: There was no winner of the 1994 World Series due to the players strike.

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