Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Geet Sethi
Table of Contents
31
Copyright . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . vi
4. Fame. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
11. Concentration. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
15. Consistency. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
20. Simplify. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
Acknowledgement. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . vii
I. JOY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
5. Handling Fame. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
2. Growing Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
9. Visualization. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
8. Pure Action. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
16. Humility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
26. Joy!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
Copyright
Copyright 2004, 2013, Geet Sethi and Sunil Agarwal.
All rights reserved worldwide.
This book was self-published by the authors Geet Sethi and Sunil Agarwal.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form by any means,
digital or otherwise, without the express permission of the authors.
For permissions contact Sunil Agarwal at sunilagarwal@successvsjoy.com
Copy Editor: Matt Stevens
Design: XXX
Success vs Joy contains brief excerpts from the following works:
The Matrix. Copyright 1999, Warner Brothers Pictures.
Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences.
Copyright 1983, Howard Gardner.
Multiple Intelligences: New Horizons. Copyright 2006, Howard Gardner.
Vedanta Treatise: The Eternities. Copyright 2006, Parthasarathy Avula.
All copyrighted material appears under the fair use exception to United
States and other nations copyright laws, and under the fair dealing exception
to Canadian and other Commonwealth of Nations copyright laws.
ISBN 978 XXXXXX
Version e1.0 (2014)
Acknowledgement
My co-author friend Sunil Agarwal and I spent many hours exploring my lifelong struggle to rein in the mind. The result of
those conversations has been collected into this book with the
hope that my experience may serve as a guide to you in your
own search for joy.
Dedicated to
Kiran,
and
to My Parents
I. JOY
2. Growing Up
Success Vs Joy
2. Growing Up
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spot. And it was this sweet spot that I felt as a 13-year-old, after
only a few months of exposure to my game.
It is not as if I manage to play that perfect stroke all the time.
But I just keep trying. The joy is in the effort of aligning ones
entire being, not the outcome of the stroke. It is in the trying, not
necessarily in the passing of the test.
8. Pure Action
Success is a good thing. Success or failure is a result of our actions. But a focus on the outcome rather than on the action is not
pure action.
True success is said to be a result of pure action by Swami
A. Parthasarathy, in his book Vedanta Treatise: The Eternities. He
describes pure action as action that has three qualitiesconcentration, consistency, and humility. Pure action lies in hitting
the sweet spot.
When you can achieve pure action, you will experience the
precisely attuned state that I call joy. Joy lies in that infinitesimal moment when all thoughts, aspirations, hopes, goals, and
beliefs become non-existent. There is no thought or focus on the
outcome. Joy is that compressed moment in which your inner being is in complete harmony with everything.
Success Vs Joy
endeavor that best suits you. That passion, whatever it is, is the
arena where you pursue joy. It is not necessarily a lifelong passion, as our interests change as we grow. Nor is it necessarily an
exclusive passion. Depending on your stage in life, your natural bent and your circumstances, you might sustain twin passions for hiking and your family, or writing and basketball. But
it needs to engage you down to the core, and be a primary focus
for your energies.
11. Concentration
Swami Parthasarathy defines concentration as the intellect
supervising the mind to remain in the present. Intellect, as
Parthasarathy describes it, is the faculty of reasoning or understanding ourselves objectively. Mind relates to a persons
determination, will, imagination, or memory. Parthasarathys
intellect corresponds to Gardners intrapersonal intelligence:
knowledge of theinternal aspects of a person: access to ones
own feeling life, ones range of emotions, thecapacity to effect
discriminations among these emotions and eventually to label
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15. Consistency
Consistency is the second element of pure action. It is built
through perseverance and hard work. Consistency means
the ability to stick with what you have to, come what may.
Consistency is the quality possessed by the great badminton
player Prakash Padukone, which made him not want to watch
a movie for six years because it would have interfered with his
training schedule. Consistency is a fairly simple concept to understand but extremely difficult to apply to ones life because of
the innumerable diversions and desires thrown our way.
A consistent person will understand how to manage the
day-to-day distractions that preoccupy most of usit could be
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16. Humility
Success Vs Joy
problems in a relationship with ones spouse, it could be an issue concerning a childs education, it could be related to ones
healththe list is endless.
You have to regularly convince yourself that the only important thing for the moment is what you wish to do for yourself.
Nothing else should matter.
This is a mental skill, and like any skill, it can be honed
through exercise. You can build your mental ability to be consistent through repeated practice of your chosen craft. Rehearsal of
a well-known action allows you to build your ability to focus, because it makes the other variables in your mind stand out. When
you can see the distractions, you can learn to let them go. In my
own training, once I achieved a certain standard, I acquired confidence in my ability to replicate my actions at that high level. I
achieved consistency, which in turn reaffirmed my confidence in
myself.
Practice honing your technique into a groove.
Practice building confidence. You need it in pressure
situations.
Practice gaining understanding. When you understand the
stroke, you understand the game; more importantly, you understand yourself.
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16. Humility
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luck can have. If you act a few times, luck can materially influence your total experience. If you act a thousand times, you annihilate luck. Only merit remains.
One has to remain stoic in the face of both good luck and bad.
To allow a sliver of bad luck to distract you is to stand in the face
of the principle and definition of concentration. So, learn to accept the bad times with the good. And remember that the more
you act, the more you take fortune into your own hands.
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4. Fame
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4. Fame
5. Handling Fame
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5. Handling Fame
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If I did not have a single impurity in my mind, I would perhaps be able to make a break of 5,000, as against my current
world record of 1,276. Of course, my world is not hermetically
sealed.
A college student once quizzed me on how it felt to be famous. I replied, I experience the same emotions and feelings
that you do. I experience emotions of jealousy, greed, anger, and
calmness just like you. Fame is media-created; and, as I have no
control over it, I dont pay too much attention to it. I derive true
joy from the activity that I pursue and not the medias attention.
And I know that the medias attention is focused on me because
of the excellence I have achieved in my discipline. So the important thing for me is continuing to pursue excellence and joy in
my sport.
Solitude, for me, has become a state of bliss. At times, I actually feel Im one with the universe. The foundation of my character has become very deep and strong. I have faith in my abilities
and in myself.
I am not particularly fond of attending marriages, anniversaries, or other celebratory functions. Even when I do attend such
social occasions, I tend to keep to myself.
While my behavior is instinctive, Ive realized that its consistent with the pursuit of joy. An extrovert likes talking to many
people about many topics. Such a persons mind is more likely to
be cluttered than that of an introvert. While other people might
successfully strike other balances, my own quiet nature has
helped me to withstand the pressures of fame. It has helped me
to find, and protect, inner peace.
There are some who work but remain unsung. Their benchmarks of excellence are not splashed across newspapers; their
pictures do not appear on television screens. Be that as it may,
they are achievers all the same if they are doing what gives them
joy. Fame in itself does not bring you joy; it only brings distractions. I believe the ultimate experience is the joy of making a full
effort in reaching out to the core within.
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This, in turn, hampers your ability to concentrate on the present. All your well-honed playing techniques will fail miserably
simply because your mind is no longer in control of your body.
Your intellect is not supervising your body or your brain, because
it is chasing after the endless permutations of if.
If is not just a menace to your focus in individual tasks. It
erodes your peace of mind when you dwell on if across the
broad arc of your life. People tend to repeatedly question the
roles they are playing. One could ask, Was I born to be a lawyer?
Would it have been better if I had taken up journalism instead?
In my opinion, to dwell upon such hypothetical and speculative
questions is a complete waste. Think about it: Can you unwind
your life to that early stage, and live it again? No. Because that
fork in the road is irrevocably behind you, does it serve any purpose to think of it? No. Once your mind takes flight into the past
or future, it cannot remain in the present. Your energy and time
are better spent on your challenges in the present.
The best way of relieving this kind of pressure is to tell yourself that at the end of the day, you have to justify your actions
only to yourself.
What if you do lose? Having lost many times myself, I can
tell you this: A loss does not mean the end of the world is nigh. In
the long run nobody else cares. Just have the discipline and the
commitment to give your best as often as you can. What matters
most is your enthusiasm for the game and not the outcome. The
results of the game matter far less than the process of learning. Play
for the sake of playing and you will feel the pressure evaporate.
9. Visualization
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9. Visualization
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the whole night. I want to improve, but there are so many social
engagements and other things that I just dont get enough time
to practice.
Here was a 38-year-old who has the talent and interest to improve. But, did he want that scratch handicap so badly that he
was prepared to withdraw from social interactions and the temporary high of a quick drink? He was looking to me for some
advice.
I found myself remembering, of all things, the character
Morpheus from the film, The Matrix. He said, Theres a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path. My
friend already knew the answer to his question. The real question was, was he willing to walk the path?
I told my friend to forget society, friends, and parties. Give
yourself two years. Just focus on the game. If you still dont reach
scratch, then go back to your heady life.
The desire to reach the all-encompassing level of involvement where one benefits from constant moments of joy needs to
be so strong that everything gets thrown into the background.
Concentration is built through lifestyle and not through any
formula or mantra. A person who leads a simple uncluttered lifestyle and focuses only on the activity of his interest and his family will, in the long run, develop far more concentration than, say,
someone who parties every night and who is tempted by food,
films, materialism, and any other distraction that may catch his
fancy.
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spectators, and was weighed down by their collective expectation. It was because he was human and understood his humanity
all too well. His record will not be beaten for a long time and his
feats with the bat will always be remembered, but he would not
succumb to a billion people imploring him to bear their burden.
I consider Sachin to be a great athlete, not just because of his
skills, but also for his ability to withstand the pressure of a billion
expectations. When you looked at Sachin, you saw calmness and
serenity on his face. Where did this serenity come from? Did it
come from the knowledge that many millions have great expectations of him? If Sachin started worrying about what his fans
expected every time he walked out to the crease, he would not
have displayed the level of equanimity he did. Nor would he
have performed as brilliantly and as consistently as he did for a
quarter-century.
Take Kapil Dev and Sunil Gavaskar, both legendary cricketers. All the records they have created did not affect them. If they
had succumbed to what others expected of them, I very much
doubt they would have been able to play the kind of cricket they
did for more than five years or so. To have the ability to disregard the expectations of othersshrug them off, if you likeone
has to first remove all expectations from ones own mind.
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compel you to find out who you are and come to terms with your
frailties.
It is very easy not to accept ones own faults. We are invariably biased towards ourselves and find it tough to acknowledge
our faults and limitations. The first step is to recognize the fact
that you are not perfect, but a human being with limitations.
Only those with strength of character are able to listen to their
conscience, their inner voice, and then act accordingly. I define
character as the courage of conviction to be your own self.
I have learned to accept what others say about me with an
open mind. Not everyone who is critical of you is necessarily
your opponent. Many are critical because they want you to remove your shortcomings. And we would not be able to improve
ourselves if we were not able to recognize our limitations.
Lets say youre addressing a thousand-strong audience on a
subject dear to your heart. Slowly you see 999 people walk away,
with just a solitary man left sitting and listening to you. Most
people would be dejected and depressed. But that is because
there is no mental equilibrium. Anger, depression, and agitation
are manifestations of the ego. A trained mind will finish and enjoy the oration with that audience of one.
If I were the speaker, I then would go back home and do some
serious introspection on why 999 people walked away. Thats a
moment of truth. Rather than become agitated, I would accept
that perhaps I was adding little value. I would then do something constructive about it, even if it took months or years of labor.
Take it from an introvert who now does motivational speaking
throughout Indiathis works.
If you are a celebrity, the public may treat you as someone
special. You are not; no one is. Even if youre successful
especially if youre successfulits crucial that you encourage,
and accept, honesty from those closest to you. The day your own
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pain in the left part of my head and my intellect was trying to ignore the pain. My mind attempted many tricks to divert itself and
not feel the pain, but after 50 minutes it gave up and succumbed
completely. I did not move my body or uncross my limbs, but my
head drooped as I suffered the last 10 minutes with pain the only
sensation in my entire being.
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20. Simplify
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considerations from my mind when I act. Yet it is not a paradox that all of this rests on the love and support of my family.
What you can achieve alone, you achieve much more easily with
help. When you work to sustain joy in the teeth of all the worlds
apsaras, your family fights at your side.
Your relationship with your family is something you build
and maintain. It, too, can benefit from the principles that you apply to your own quest for joy. Concentration, consistency, and
humility are crucial in your relationship with your family. So,
too, is a zest to learn and grow.
Consider concentration. I like to pay full attention to what I
am doing at any given moment. There are bound to be interruptions; the telephone will ring and so on. But if I am going to give
my best, I must try to not allow others to distract me. If my wife,
Kiran, calls while I am in a meeting, I simply tell her that I will
call her back. If I start talking to her, I would be rude and unfair
to both her and those present at the meeting, because my concentration would be interrupted. I would be absent to everyone.
While I was playing in the Sydney World Championship in
2002, I received a telephone call from my wife that my father
had been admitted to the intensive care unit (ICU) and had been
placed on a respirator. I asked my wife whether I should return
to India immediately, but she told me I should continue to play in
the tournament and come back only after the event was over. By
my yardsticks, I played brilliantly during the tournament even
though I eventually lost in the final to Mike Russell. I was able to
concentrate on my game despite the unexpected and unwelcome
news about my father. I then returned and was able to concentrate fully on my father.
The role of your family in keeping you calm is crucial. I have
been married to Kiran for a quarter-century now, and her support and faith have been immeasurable. Before a tournament she
20. Simplify
Genuinely successful people understand the meaning of discipline and of total commitment to a single cause. This discipline,
by definition, necessitates a simplified lifestyle. This is the key to
improving concentration.
You can get an idea of the power of simplified life by seeing
what happens when you simplify radically. The badminton All
England champion, Prakash Padukone, once told me that for six
years he did not watch a single movie while he was undergoing
a rigorous training regime. He would wake up at 5:30 a.m., go for
a 10-kilometer run, return home for breakfast, exercise, and then
play two-and-a-half hours of badminton, come back at noon and
sleep for two hours. He would then wake up at 2:30 in the afternoon, exercise till 3:00, play badminton between 4:00 and 7:00, do
some cooling-down exercises, return home at 7:30, have his dinner and go to bed by 8:30. He maintained this incredibly disciplined lifestyle for six years without a break, seven days a week!
The world sees him as an individual who has made many
sacrifices. Ask him and he would insist there was no sacrifice at
the timeonly joy! There is joy in any activity that leads to personal growth and excellence. The process of growth and learning
is the basis of joy. Where there is joy, there is no sacrifice.
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correspondence with Kiran has helped nurture some of the insights that Ive shared in this book.
24. Duties
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now believe in focusing on one activity at a timeeven if that activity is not inherently exciting to me. To focus on duty is a more
subtle form of experimentation, of the exploration and search
deep inside for joy.
will create its own success. Seek joy and success will naturally follow. I have learned that when I wanted success and was willing
to sacrifice joy for it, I eventually got neither. Clearing my mind,
focusing my will, and opening myself to joythese brought me
everything that is valuable in life.
Joy is internalsuccess is a creation of society. You always
have a choice.
26. Joy!
My lifetime has been a dance with joy. In my youth, I embraced
it; in my adulthood, I rediscovered it; now, in middle age, I defend it. As I grow older, and hopefully wiser, I learn that there are
more paths to joy, as well as more paths away from it.
Which comes first, success or joy? Many believe that once
they succeed, they will be happy. But success, as commonly understood, is in no way linked to happiness. Commitment to joy
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