20

When Shabana Ji met Sameer

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Sameer from
India narrates his
cross-border
love story.
Congratulations
to the couple
on their tenth
wedding
anniversary
coming up, June
14, 2014

t all started in the year

1998. I was 16 years old
and decided to learn Swedish
since my family had migrated
to settle in Sweden. So I enrolled in language classes at a
school where I met two Pakistani boys.
Over the next two years we
became good friends. What all
three of us had in common was
that we were not good learners.
There were also four Pakistani
girls studying the same
course with us.
Six years later, one of
them became my wife. Interestingly, the movie Veer Zaara was
released four months after we
got married. I had never thought
that my own life would resemble the story of this super
hit romantic fiction.
Back then, I had no romantic notions about her,
even though I was the only
one who called her Shabana Ji
(her real name was Shabnam),
while the others called her Baji.
It was a coincidence that the
others saw her as an older sister
but to me, she was always a
friend an exceptionally perfect and trusted one. We completed the classes two years
later, but remained in touch
over the telephone.
I hail from a Punjabi family
with Hindu and Sikh ancestors,
but had lived in Uttar Pradesh
for around ten years. Thats why

I have an appreciable command

over both Hindi and Punjabi. My
family also traditionally often
visited Darbars and shrines.
Shabana Ji belongs to a Muslim
family from Pakistans largest
province Punjab.
I always believed in oneness
of God. I studied Hinduism extensively in my childhood and
was always inspired by Sufism.
Right from the start I was fond
of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khans
Qawwalis. The maestro is a
very popular figure in our area.
As Shabana Ji and I kept in
touch, I started developing a
special attention towards Islam.
One day I embraced this religion, keeping my family unaware

of it.
Meanwhile, Shabana Jis
family engaged her to someone
in Pakistan. She seemed happy
about this but while she was
telling me about her engagement, I felt myself falling in love
with her. I believe in the Urdu /
Hindi proverb, JoRiyan tou aasmanoN par bantee haiN
(matches are made in heaven).
My feelings were fast intensifying but I couldnt express myself to her for many days. Finally though, I had to tell her.
Initially, she was angry and

A treat from Delhi

for Urdu lovers
We had our own version of the movie Veer Zaara, released four months
after we got married

hese two volumes are a

treasure trove for lovers
o f U r d u l i t e r a t u r e , especially s h o r t s t o r i e s . D r
K h a l i d A s h r a f h a s carefully s e l e c t e d t h i s c o l l e c t i o n o f
over a hundred precious nuggets
of Urdu short stories, from the
1930s to the present age, to give a
flavour of the currents in the
s o c i o - p o l i t i c a l c l i m a t e o f t h e region. What makes the two volumes
even more valuable is the preface,
published in the first volume of
the collection. For students of
Urdu literature, the narrative and

didnt like it. She had always

considered me as a friend, she
said. She had no idea what I had
felt when I came to know about
her engagement. It was at that
moment, that I had realised that
I had a special feeling for her.
In fact, Shabana Ji was a
very kind person, as she still is.
Gradually, she started responding to my gestures, realising
what she actually meant to me.
It was at the end of the year
2002 that this love story started
from my side. And on February
14, 2003, on Valentines Day, I
got her to say, I love you, to
me over the phone.
We finally decided to marry
and a few days later, decided to convince our
families about it.
In May 2003, I told my
family. They were
shocked, and refused point
blank. They also feared that
their refusal might put me in
danger, that someone from the
Pakistani community would
harm me.
In Scandinavia, Pakistanis
and Indians co-exist in a strange
kind of environment, based on
love-hate relations, competition
and pride in every field. More
tragically, this rift does sometimes invite violence.
My family got me to agree to
visit India for three weeks. But
as soon as I landed, my relatives
took away my passport. After a
series of quarrels, I got my passport back and managed to return to Sweden on August 25,
2003.
By March 2004, I felt I had no
other option but to take the initiative myself. I rushed to Shabana Jis family in Stockholm
and told them I wanted to marry
her.
They didnt have an issue
with religion as I had already
converted to Islam, but given
the South Asian mindset that
prevailed even there, I knew
that there was a risk involved.
My proposal could have destroyed everything. It is to the
credit of Shabana Jis family
that they did not immediately
reject me but responded with
maturity.
Eventually, they reluctantly
agreed. This was a rarity as in
most cases Indians and Pakista-

the modern life. The beginnings of this

genre, he says, can be traced to Rashid-ulKhairi, Sultan Haidar Josh, Prem Chander,
Sajjad Haider Yaldarum, Niaz Fatehpuri,
Qazi Abdul Ghaffar and Mohammad Ali
Rudaulvi.
The editor differentiates between the
prose writings of Rashid-ul Khairi and Sir
Syed and the art of writing fiction and
short stories. He considers Prem Chander
as the best short story writer of yester
years.
He outlines the Progressive Writers
Movement which included greats such as
Krishan Chander, Sadat Hasan Manto,
Ismat Chughtai, Khawaja Ahmed Abbas,

relationships.
Dr Ashraf has also selected from the
less well-known works of prominent writers and from writers among the younger
generation who have written some brilliant pieces. Such gems include TashneFariyad by Zamiruddin Ahmed, Zaitoon
ki Ek Shakh by Zaheda Hina, Koel aur
General by Saeeda Gazdar, Khat-e-Mermooz by Fehmida Riaz, and Deemak by
Asif Farrukhi.
The short stories selected in these two
volumes include significant storywriters
from both sides of the border.
Another valuable contribution of these
volumes is that they give details of the

Barresagheer Mein Urdu

Afsana (Volume 1 and 2)
Compiled and edited by
Dr. Khalid Ashraf, KM College,
University of Delhi
Distributors:
Modern Publishing House 9, Gola
Market Darya Ganj,
New Delhi-2
Published:
December 2010
Acknowledgement:
Financial support by the
National Council for
Advancement of Urdu
Language, India
analysis of the short stories and
commentary on the writers in the
p r e f a c e w i l l h a v e a s p e c i a l significance.
The preface is a meticulously narrated
history of the emergence of the genre of
the Urdu short story and its writers. Dr
Ashraf holds that short stories are very
well suited to portray the complexities of

Ahmed Nadeem Qasmi, Hajra Masroor,

Khadija Mastoor, Hamid Akhtar, and
many others. The PWA writers, as he
notes, used themes of oppression and exploitation of poverty-struck labourers and
vulnerable women. They also uncovered
the hypocritical sugarcoating of norms
and customs which lie under sexual and
social interactions at different levels of

THE FIRST STEP

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Feedback, contributions, photos, letters:

Email: amankiasha@janggroup.com.pk
Fax: +92-21-3241-8343
Post: aman ki asha c/o The News,
I.I. Chundrigar Road, Karachi

publications from which the short stories

have been taken, providing a wonderful
record of resources, very useful for lovers
of Urdu literature.
In short, Barresagheer Mein Urdu Afsanaa, is a very welcome addition to the
Urdu literary scene of the South Asia.
Zakia Sarwar

Visa woes of
cross-border
couples
ome 356 women from Pakistan
married to Indian men are awaiting Indian citizenship, reports
Biswajeet Banerjee in Niti Central
(May 30, 2014).
The report quotes Uttar Pradesh
government officials as saying that
several women from Pakistan married
to Indians are staying illegally in
India, while 356 Pakistani women
have sought Indian citizenship after
marrying Indian men. In Aligarh there
are 42 Pakistani women who have applied for Indian passports.
In most cases, the Department for
Home Affairs has sent the initial report to the Ministry of External Affairs, and the Union Government has
to decide.
Following the meeting between
the Indian and Pakistani Prime Ministers, families with cross-border marriages hope that relations between
two countries will improve.
There seems sincerity between Indian and Pakistan to resolve issues
and promote personal relations. If this
happens, the Pakistani women married to Indian men could get
Indian citizenship very
soon, Parvez
Rehman
Siddiqui,
a trader
said. His
s i s t e r- i n law Shama
is
from
Karachi, Pakistan. Since her
marriage in 2004
the family has been running from pillar to post to obtain Indian citizenship
for her. She is currently on a longterm visa that must be renewed every
three years.
In 2005, the Indian government
granted citizenship to over 3,000 Pakistani Hindus in Kutch, Gujarat who
had lived there for over five years.
There are also many cross-border
marriages in that area between Pakistani Hindu women seeking to escape
poverty by marrying Indian men.

An Indo-Pak family: Sameer and Shabnam with their children

nis prefer marriages within their
own community, in terms of nationality, religion and caste. My
case was far more complicated
as I was not only Indian but also
a recent convert.
But with the grace of God, all
went well. On June 14, 2004,
members from both families attended our wedding ceremony.
In the year 2005, we became
parents of a baby girl and in
2007, her little brother was
born. I, with my happy little
family, visited India in 2012. Everyone in my extended family in
India liked my wife, and they all
cared for us. I am yet to visit
Pakistan but I am sure this
dream too will come true
sooner than later.
I dont know whether or not,

you like my story! Sometimes

though, I feel this could be
made a perfect story, if the
chapter of my conversion is
erased. (The following line is
additional) Many of my sincere
Indian and Pakistani friends
though, have a different view!
They think the chapter adds
more value to the story because,
they think, if I were a Muslim by
birth, the story would have been
plain and simple!
. One more thing, which I
forgot to tell you. I dont call her
Shabana Ji any more!
Sameer related his story to
Samir Gupta, a Ghaziabadbased administrator of the
Aman ki Asha Facebook group.
Translation: Nusrat Amin

Students of Fathima Matha High School seeing off the cyclists, June 2013

Indo-Pak students bicycle rally for peace

group of university students plan to cycle to
Wagah to celebrate the Indian and Pakistani Independence Days with Pakistani students and then
proceed to Lahore University and Quaid-i-Azam
University in Islamabad. So far 12 students from Delhi University and one from Jamia Millia Islamia have joined the
second time this initiative is being taken.
Last year the Delhi University Students for Peace cycled
from Kanyakumari to Wagah border, but did not get visas to
cross over into Pakistan with their bicycles.
The convener, Praveen Kumar Singh, a student of MA

A time travel cover

ahore-based musician Shahvaar Ali
Khan has released what he calls his
time travel cover of Kishore
Kumars classic Aa Chal Ke Tujhe from
the film Door Gagan Ki ChaoN Mein
(1964).
The cover
titled, Yaar!
Aa Chal Ke
Tujhe - Making Peace
With
Our
Past is an
endeavour to
mix
two
artists, says
S h a h v a a r,
one Legend,
one Rookie - from different eras and countries, in an effort to make peace with our
past for a happy future.
Kishore Kumars vocals blend nicely with
Shahvaar Ali Khan?s, the original composition augmented with a music arrangement
by Shahvaar and Joseph. Back up vocals are
by Anam, and guitar by Asim. A timely share
hear it at: http://bit.ly/KishoreShahvaar

Buddhist Studies at DU, said the idea is to promote peace,

unity and love in South Asian region and tie up with student
activists in Pakistan.
They aim to urge the governments of India and Pakistan
to come together in a confederation on the lines of European Union, says Singh. Weapons cannot be a substitute
for food, medicine or education.
The bicycle rally will start from New Delhi on August 1
and meet up with Pakistani students at Wagah border on August 14. They are hoping to get the necessary clearance and
visas to proceed together to Lahore and Islamabad.

Stamps to
treasure
t is eight years since
Pakistan Post issued
a five rupee commemorative postage
stamp on the occasion
of the 400th anniversary
of Guru Arjun Dev of
Gurdwara Dera Sahib, Lahore, on June 16, 2006. Photos of that stamp as
well as the 2009 stamp commemorating Minorities Week are still being
shared and appreciated on the social media, including the Aman ki Asha
Facebook group.

Psychedelic rock
heck out this musical collaboration with Indian and Pakistani
musicians in hope for peace.
Psychedelic rock rendered on electric
guitar by Shumraiz Awan (Pakistan),
flute by Kartikeya Vashist (India), percussion and production by Arman Ali
(India). Heres the Soundcloud link:
http://bit.ly/IndPakMotherNature

A peace initiative whose time has come...

Destination Peace: A commitment by the Jang Group, Geo and The Times of India Group to
create an enabling environment that brings the people of Pakistan and India closer together,
contributing to genuine and durable peace with honour between our countries.