1Clare Conk - a Special Mom

by Peter Conk
SPECIAL
My mother Clare Conk, August 31,1922 - February 1,2015, died yesterday and like most
mother's she was special. Here are a few of the things that made my mother unique and extra
special.
GROWING UP there was not one day that I didn't feel loved and cared for. For my Mom her
children always came first.
CHRISTMAS - I think it is fair to say that we were a true working class family and though there
was not a lot of extra money, Christmas was always exciting. She would spend months looking
for the special gift that would make Christmas extra exciting and year after year she would find
that one unexpected, unique gift that made it special.
HALLOWEEN - though not an especially gifted craftsperson, each and every Halloween I would
have a hand made, home sewn from scratch,costume- my favorite was Robinhood.
A BOAT FOR A MINK COAT - when I was 8 years old, with my family, I was lucky to appear
on a national prime time tv game show, KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY, Saturday night on ABC. One
of the many prizes we won was a full length mink coat. Rather than take the mink coat for
herself she took the $1,000 cash which she used to buy a 16 foot Thompson motor boat for the
family.
HURT MY KIDS, FEEL MY WRATH. Myself , Kathryn and Steven had the privilege of going
to St. Rose of Lima Catholic School, Massapequa, NY. While that was an overwhelmingly
positive experience there was one Nun who believed in corporal punishment and one day
inflicted such punishment on Steven, the youngest. Upon hearing what happened when we
returned home, my mother instructed us that no one had the right to hit us, not even the Nuns.
The next day she took us to school, demanded that the teacher join her in the principal's office,
and proceeded to tell them that if anyone was to ever lay a finger on one of her children she
would call the police, sue them and make them sorry that they'd met her. Needless to say, there
were no more problems.
EDUCATION- There was not a day in my life that I can remember when I didn't hear the
message - you need to study hard in grammar school so that you can get into a good Catholic
High School, study hard in high school so you can get into a good Catholic College. In college
you studied so that you could be the best person you could be and have the resources to provide
for your family.
MORE EDUCATION - Growing up, we were reminded that there were things we did without
because they were saving money so they could send us to Catholic School and most importantly
to college. When I was in 7th grade she began her career as a school teacher. Her salary went for
two things 1. pay for Catholic School tuition, 2. savings to send the 5 children to college.
IRISH CATHOLIC - along with my father she instilled in us Irish Catholic values which meant

live the values of the gospels, take care of and watch out for the needs of the poor, the hungry,
the homeless, the imprisoned, the needy and Love thy neighbor, both near and afar, as yourself.
These values were always the center of dinner time conversation and have remained an important
part of my life.
EXTRA SPECIAL - there are many brilliant people and in my mother's special way she was one
of them. When my parents relocated to Santa Barbara in 1972, an exceedingly brilliant move in
and of itself, she was forced to give up her teaching career. After a couple of years she started
volunteering at a non-profit organization, Santa Barbara Legal Defense Center which provided
non-criminal legal services for low income people. As an English teacher and also a being quite
smart, she was an excellent researcher and writer. As a volunteer she would often work on and
write the briefs submitted by the staff attorneys. In 1977 She worked on the brief and oral
argument for a case to be argued before the state of California court of appeals. Given that she
had done the research and written the appeal, she made the oral argument before the court and
answered the questions asked by the appellate judges. When the ruling came down she had won
the right for working pregnant women in California to be eligible for unemployment insurance
payments. Unfortunately because she was not an attorney at the time, the case law was written up
under the name of the staff attorney who was the attorney of record.
EXTRA SPECIAL II - motivated by her legal success and disappointed at not being recognized
for her role, she decided to become an attorney. She went to Ventura law school for one semester,
dropped out and studied on her own. She maintained contact with the members of her study
group but read and studied on her own. In 1981, at the age of 59 she took and past the first time,
the California bar exam, becoming the first person in 15 years to pass the bar without going to
law school. It would be almost 20 years before it was accomplished again.
She participated on numerous non-profit boards over the years and continued to serve on the
board of CRLA California Rural Legal Assistance. Her mind sharp and incisive until the end.
There is much more I could share but you get the idea. Thanks Mom for all you were and all you
shared!