Professional Documents
Culture Documents
disappointment. Some people remain as Innocents all their lives, and they may be the ones who love
too much and forgive too easily. Sometimes this means they will be the ones who set themselves up
for hurt and abuse.
When disillusion sets in for the Innocent it may not lead to greater wisdom right away. It can lead to
neediness, and the clinging lover is living the Orphan archetype. Any relationship is better than
being alone for this figure, who wants to be adopted by the one she loves. Its a step up from being
an Innocent, but its a desperate love, built on the fear of being alone, and it doesnt allow much
space for growth. Sometimes women and young girls will act helpless so that they can be rescued,
and when they do that theyre playing the Orphan card. It may secure a lover for now, but theyll
forever be disempowered by the role of being helpless.
Fortunately things get better. The person who has been an Innocent who has faced deception and
has decided to ask for more in life than the Orphans compromise becomes a Pilgrim, a seeker
after real love. Its a bold step. Its also risky, as everyone else will be putting pressure on the
Pilgrim to settle down. They may set the Pilgrim up with a date and then be disappointed that their
idea of who the Pilgrim ought to be with doesnt match the Pilgrims own view. The Pilgrim will
step back from love, at least for a while, and will choose more cautiously but first she has to
decide what she needs.
If the Pilgrim stays on the search she will find herself looking for inner values, both personal and
ethical, in herself and her partner. This is when the Warrior-Lover archetype emerges, and this is
the person who doesnt just love the sex or the status or the fact that everyone else likes the lover.
This person loves the other because she knows that together they can be good for each other and
good within their community.
This is a pretty strong place to be. But there is more. For as the Warrior-Lover pair learns to nourish
each others needs and abilities they find that they are leading others through the power of their
example. Their love does not just stay within the pair or the family circle it begins to be noticed
by others, who may see that there is more to life than they thought. This marks the emergence of the
Monarch archetype. This is the person who trusts, whose love becomes empowering for others
and certainly this doesnt diminish the primary loving bond with the partner. In some ways the two
different types of love fuel each other. An everyday example might be the loving couple who are
bringing up a family, running or leading a community organization, and yet allowing their children
to be their own, autonomous, selves. This couple will be working for the good of all, perhaps for the
good of the planet and perhaps confronting social evils, because they recognize that these are more
important things than whether or not they have the latest consumer toys in their lives.
At the highest level love appears in the Magician archetype. We all can reach this, at least on
occasions, when we are fully present and honest and loving with others. When that happens we can
change lives just by being with people, sometimes people we hardly know, and accepting them for
who they are. Its the most elusive of archetypes because the change happens in the other person
as we allow them the space to alter their own energy. And that, after all, is the nature of someone
who inspires others.
Being able to see the six levels gives us a language, a sphere of reference, from which to reflect on
our own actions and decisions. It gives us a chance to know ourselves more fully both in and out of
the bedroom. Which of us hasnt, at some point, taken the safe bet and poured our emotions into a
relationship that just isnt very satisfying? Thats when weve fallen into living the Orphan
archetype. And who hasnt found themselves drawn to the public figure who is fighting for a great
and good cause, and yearned to have that same sense of direction in our own life? That would be
when were Pilgrims looking for a Warrior-Lover relationship.
We can have the relationship we truly desire if we ask for it, yet we have to know exactly what to
ask for or well certainly get the wrong thing. This book will help you to find your way to
meaningful love in your life, love that will grow as you grow.
Dr. Allan G. Hunters book The Six Archetypes of Love; from Innocent to Magician is available