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The Six Archetypes of Love

by Dr. Allan G. Hunter


Most of us have at some point been confused by love, or by the search for love, and finding our way
forwards has sometimes proved to be demanding and even exhausting. Some of us give up, others
struggle on, and a few of us seem to manage to get it right. So, how do we get the love we want into
our lives? And how do we know whether we can trust that its the sort of love that will grow and
flourish? In answer to these tricky questions The Six Archetypes of Love, Dr. Allan Hunters new
book, offers a series of revealing insights that will help to clarify the way forward and will awaken
you to new ways of understanding love.
Drawing on the wisdom of his earlier book, Stories We Need to Know, Dr. Hunter shows us that we
all have the chance to live our lives at six different levels. Part of the difficulty for most of us is that
we understand love from our own specific context and personal history, and we tend to assume that
ours is the only valid perspective. Unfortunately not everyone we meet will share that same view.
So we must ask ourselves some tough questions: who am I when Im in love? And who is my lover?
We know that being in love changes who we are, so these are important considerations.
Furthermore, we will always tend to see love and romance in terms of which archetype is presently
operating in our life. And this is the key.
So, what are the six archetypes? Hunter shows us that these archetypes function like mileposts,
showing us where we are in our personal development. They have existed in our culture for
thousands of years, and Hunter traces them elegantly through literature, myth, fairy tales, movies,
the lives of contemporary figures such as Prince Charles and Princess Diana, and in popular
cultures TV offerings such as Desperate Housewives. Interestingly, one of the strongest
representations of these six stages is to be found in the ancient wisdom of the Tarot, which precisely
mirrors in visual form the stages of personal growth, and it seems certain that at least one use of the
Tarot was as a spiritual guide for individual growth.
What this all means is that if we dont know what these six archetypes look like were likely to find
ourselves making the same mistakes over and over, and well remain stuck in unsuccessful
behaviors simply because we dont know any better. Everyone has met someone who always seems
to date the same sort of loser, time after time. Perhaps you too have a tendency to fall for people
who share similar traits some of them not always very easy to deal with. If so theres a good
chance youre living a specific archetypal pattern that needs to be changed. Change is not so
difficult if you know what it involves and what youll be moving towards, and thats the great gift
of this book. Hunter gives us specific ways we can explore each archetype and mobilize the positive
power in each to help propel us forward. In this way we can take what is good from each stage and
prepare to move successfully to the next level, leaving what we no longer need behind.
So, lets take a closer look at these archetypes. Taking them in order, whenever we first fall in love,
whether were fifteen of seventy-five, were likely to feel that delicious feeling of excitement and
joy that is the hallmark of the Innocent. The trouble is that, as the name suggests, the Innocent is a
little too eager, a little too unsuspecting and idealistic and can be heading for a major

disappointment. Some people remain as Innocents all their lives, and they may be the ones who love
too much and forgive too easily. Sometimes this means they will be the ones who set themselves up
for hurt and abuse.
When disillusion sets in for the Innocent it may not lead to greater wisdom right away. It can lead to
neediness, and the clinging lover is living the Orphan archetype. Any relationship is better than
being alone for this figure, who wants to be adopted by the one she loves. Its a step up from being
an Innocent, but its a desperate love, built on the fear of being alone, and it doesnt allow much
space for growth. Sometimes women and young girls will act helpless so that they can be rescued,
and when they do that theyre playing the Orphan card. It may secure a lover for now, but theyll
forever be disempowered by the role of being helpless.
Fortunately things get better. The person who has been an Innocent who has faced deception and
has decided to ask for more in life than the Orphans compromise becomes a Pilgrim, a seeker
after real love. Its a bold step. Its also risky, as everyone else will be putting pressure on the
Pilgrim to settle down. They may set the Pilgrim up with a date and then be disappointed that their
idea of who the Pilgrim ought to be with doesnt match the Pilgrims own view. The Pilgrim will
step back from love, at least for a while, and will choose more cautiously but first she has to
decide what she needs.
If the Pilgrim stays on the search she will find herself looking for inner values, both personal and
ethical, in herself and her partner. This is when the Warrior-Lover archetype emerges, and this is
the person who doesnt just love the sex or the status or the fact that everyone else likes the lover.
This person loves the other because she knows that together they can be good for each other and
good within their community.
This is a pretty strong place to be. But there is more. For as the Warrior-Lover pair learns to nourish
each others needs and abilities they find that they are leading others through the power of their
example. Their love does not just stay within the pair or the family circle it begins to be noticed
by others, who may see that there is more to life than they thought. This marks the emergence of the
Monarch archetype. This is the person who trusts, whose love becomes empowering for others
and certainly this doesnt diminish the primary loving bond with the partner. In some ways the two
different types of love fuel each other. An everyday example might be the loving couple who are
bringing up a family, running or leading a community organization, and yet allowing their children
to be their own, autonomous, selves. This couple will be working for the good of all, perhaps for the
good of the planet and perhaps confronting social evils, because they recognize that these are more
important things than whether or not they have the latest consumer toys in their lives.
At the highest level love appears in the Magician archetype. We all can reach this, at least on
occasions, when we are fully present and honest and loving with others. When that happens we can
change lives just by being with people, sometimes people we hardly know, and accepting them for
who they are. Its the most elusive of archetypes because the change happens in the other person
as we allow them the space to alter their own energy. And that, after all, is the nature of someone
who inspires others.
Being able to see the six levels gives us a language, a sphere of reference, from which to reflect on
our own actions and decisions. It gives us a chance to know ourselves more fully both in and out of
the bedroom. Which of us hasnt, at some point, taken the safe bet and poured our emotions into a

relationship that just isnt very satisfying? Thats when weve fallen into living the Orphan
archetype. And who hasnt found themselves drawn to the public figure who is fighting for a great
and good cause, and yearned to have that same sense of direction in our own life? That would be
when were Pilgrims looking for a Warrior-Lover relationship.
We can have the relationship we truly desire if we ask for it, yet we have to know exactly what to
ask for or well certainly get the wrong thing. This book will help you to find your way to
meaningful love in your life, love that will grow as you grow.
Dr. Allan G. Hunters book The Six Archetypes of Love; from Innocent to Magician is available

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