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ALWAYS THE ANALYST!

(A Corplaw Commentary)

by Barry J. Lipson
How about a challenge to ones analytical abilities, perhaps to the Outer Limits of ones
breaking point! Amusing, confusing or "obtusing;" brightening, blinding or befuddling;
clarifying, clouding or contriving; expanding, engulfing or enraging; enlightening,
"obscenitizing" or "blasphemizing"; or, perhaps, just plain strange and eerie, but interesting?
They're there, over there, thrashing out, in this windy wet weather, whether in their thesis
their should be there instead of there there? There, there now, don't get in a tizzy, as
lawyers, as researchers and/or as writers we are always faced with the bothersome task of
analyzing and understanding the meaning of confusing and obtuse wording and
documentation, and normally while being deprived of knowledge of the true state of mind
and intent of the creators and drafters.
Could the author have meant what I think she meant? Would it mean something different it
she was a he or needing a martini? What did the parties really mean by that? Did they have
German or Pennsylvania or Louisiana legal or cultural concepts in mind when they drafted
this? Gadzooks, is there such a word or should there be? Does "and" always only mean
"and," and/or does it sometimes mean "or," and/or does "or" always only mean "or," and/or
does it sometimes mean "and;" and, if so, where would this be so, here or there, surely not
everywhere? Should there be a coma, oops, comma there, or here or everywhere? When
in doubt should one leave it in or leave it out? Or should one just comatosely sleep on it?
Not so His Royal Highness . . . . .
"Rot! But for that blasted comma His Royal Highness could have claimed all of the rotten
borough of Thundering Downs," the Royal Counsellor exclaimed. "By thunder, it has all
come thundering down! No Englishman shall ever again be rottenly downed as I have," His
Majesty thundered thunderously."From now on it is decreed that all punctuation and
capitalization whatsoever is rot and shall hereby forever be banished from all english
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writings i further decree that in these british isles there shall be no commas no dashes no
exclamation marks no periods no question marks no semi colons no capital letters even at
the start of a sentence there shall be no capitalization and yes why not no obscenity laws or
grammar or spellink ore zgbvghfst xdxzdewqqa mhgyuii vbqqwwuv mqwpufk brrgdftod
orre even howe odde spacing howdoyoulikedembloodybeans............... ".
Confusing? Confused? Or even fermisht? Then you get it!
But before you leave how about a short pop quiz. Its objective will be to determine which of
the following words, in your esteemed estimation, best describe your "analysis" of this
humble written offering. Amusing, confusing or "obtusing;" brightening, blinding or
befuddling; clarifying, clouding or contriving; expanding, engulfing or enraging;
enlightening, "obscenitizing" or "blasphemizing"; or, perhaps, just plain strange and eerie,
but interesting.
You have now experienced the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to ...
The Outer Limits. Hope youve had fun! Remember reading is FUNdamental!

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Please address your final analysis and pop quiz responses; and your comments, questions
and suggestions for future Corplaw Commentaries Columns on marketing and business
law, and other legal subjects, to Barry J. Lipson, Esquire, at bjlipson@gmail.com. This
column has been adapted from a three part column originally published in 1996 in the
Pittsburgh Legal Journal also incorporating THE MAR-TYR ON THE SPIT.
Copyright 1996-2011 by Barry J. Lipson