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3 Ways I Tried To Change My Life (and failed) - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement

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3 Ways I Tried To Change My Life (and failed)

POSTED ON MARCH 23, 2010 BY LORI TAYLOR | CATEGORIES: OUTRAGEOUS

If there was ever a poster child for personal-development-aholics Id be

the girl at the podium introducing herself saying, Hi my name is Lori
Taylor. Ive been addicted to personal development since 2007 and I have
the best intentions to take my life to the next level.
Thats right. Im an honest to goodness, real life seminar junkie.
I blame Tony Robbins.
And I cant thank him enough for putting me on the path then that led
me to where I am today. I love him like a hooker loves her pimp. Only
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more. So please dont misunderstand this post as my experiences being

something I regret its quite the opposite.
I AM better than I was when I began drinking the Kool-Aid. But if youve
ever gone to an up close and personal live guru event, there is certainly
a crash effect afterward. (Sort of like the January blues after the
holidays.)
Once home again, it doesnt take long for stress and monotony to bring
back old patterns. Not to mention returning to loved ones who think all
this stuff is airy fairy, resisting your efforts, mocking you, mocking the
process, and constantly harping on what a load of crap it all is.
Yet I know most of it will work because Ive experience it personally, if
only briefly.
#1 Tony Robbins Event Date With Destiny
This is a one week event, electrified with an atomic assault on your
senses, as Tony uses master level NLP techniques, anchored by supersized story-telling, infused with non-stop full-on masculine over-thetop energy
Let me tell you something, even a freaking tree would be inspired. If Tony
told it to, Im confident even a rock would start rolling across the room
determined to lose its moss, gladly hurling itself on the fire coals we
walked over barefoot.
The room is electrified with 4,000 screaming and dancing rabid fans.
Its worth every single dime just to see the show, even though its not
really designed for the weak, the timid, or people on a budget (thats for
sure).
Even me, an extroverted over achiever, found it hard to implement when
I got home because I went about it completely the wrong way.
I failed to do one very simple thing
I should have asked myself, How. Sustainable. Is. This. For. My. Life?
Lesson Learned: Do not bite off more than you chew. Pick and choose
from the menu to avoid burnout. More is not better.
#2 The Vision Board
As a creative person, I thought this was the best thing since sliced bread
and I couldnt wait to get started.
Mapping out my vision for the ultimate life, grabbing poster board,
magazines, and a pen to get it done in a weekend. I was off to the races
for a better life.

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And some of that manifested, like finding my soul mate, my nuva-ring

surprise from the universe wrapped in the small package of two tiny
identical boys well lets just say I did not see that coming and was not
next to the self-made $1,000,000.00 check from Random House on my
bulletin board.
Overwhelmed, faced with lack of time to be a great mom (to now five
kids), have a career and take care of me in the process, resulted in
anxiety or depression, depending on the moment (should I say minute).
I was exhausted, mentally and physically, feeling hopeless, unable to
find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Sound familiar?
I had lost total perspective on my life as I bumped into tree after tree
looking for a forest. The thought of vision boarding my way out of this
state was about as appealing as picking up cat hair off the floor with
tweezers as opposed to a vacuum cleaner.
Have you ever had a day where drumming up enough energy to take a
shower seems like it might be too much? Thats where I found myself,
not really knowing how I got here, meanwhile my board hung neglected
in a corner, collecting dust at best.
I simply could not help myselfso what next?
Lesson Learned: Life cant just be solved by a bulletin board. Wasting
time wanting something instead of just having it is the biggest barrier
we face.
#3 The Game
Sarano Kelley, a friend of a friend called me and invited me to
participate in his virtual VIP personal coaching group. This was exactly
what I needed!
I hit the ground running.
My husband was horrified as he watched his loving wife morph into a
rabid hamster on her wheel, rabid to anyone who got in her way to get
her carrot and win.
Daily coaching calls at 8 a.m. Excel charts with every minute mapped,
tied to a reward system based on how many leg lunges I did. I was the
Arnold Schwarzenegger of improving myself I swear to God, it was
something to see.
Unless you were my family
My clients were thrilled. I was over-delivering, meeting all deadlines,
making money and all around kicking ass
I was miserable.
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It was all I could think about I was consumed by getting an A on

everything I was doing; I rejoiced at the illusion there was something I
could do to be happy.
I could make happiness happen, right?
Wrong. After the game ended, I was back in the same old rut, staring in
the mirror at the only white elephant in the room me.
Lesson Learned: Trying to become someone or achieve to be happy is
the biggest lie we tell ourselves and believe.
The bottom line is you dont have to change YOU to be happy.
You just need to learn how to change your perception about your
situation. The emotion you experience comes from the meaning youve
given to it, combined with how long you believe its going to last.
Even if you do nothing but become aware of every single time YOU let a
tough situation drain your power, you will begin to make the shift away
from the internal blame game. This awareness allows you to evolve into
a quiet state of knowing you have the ability to BE anything you want to
be.
And Im going to show you how to do exactly that over the next 30 days were just
getting started Im looking forward to our journey together.
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Joy Curry

2 years ago

Thanks for telling us your journey. I have been on the same path and am working with my head to relax and just enjoy every day instead of
having to be super woman.
2

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lori t ay lor

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Joy Curry 2 years ago

Ahh- Joy - you and me both.

Sometimes I find my focus on outcomes makes me run for the phone booth to put on the cape - it's exhausting.
The outcome is an illusion - it can't be something we DO - it's a happening that occurs as a result of the illusion.
You are outrageously beautiful and the cape is fun - but only when you put it on just for fun - not to DO.
1
Denada

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2 years ago

i am looking forward to this 30 day programme :)

2

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2

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lori t ay lor

Denada 2 years ago

Denada - I'm so happy you are here - I hope it's everything you want it to be. You are in control of what you do with the information isn't that OUTRAGEOUS?
1

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Fait h

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lori taylor 2 years ago

Hi,
Don't have a website. Hope this will get thru. I don't check my e-mail every day - will this be ok? Looking forward to hearing
how you made it thru the muck
Faith
1
Cos mos gy as i

Reply

Share

2 years ago

I am ever ready for the 30 day program

1

Reply

Time t o Change

Share

2 years ago

I am looking forward to the journey as well. Thank you.

1

Reply

Mak ay

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2 years ago

I most definitely cannot wait to start this program! :) I like your style, and I'm excited to read my emails! Thanks again for the program!
1

Reply

S arina

Share

2 years ago

Wow.... Reading your article made me open my eyes so much. I just started today on your 30day program, and even after reading the first
email, I feel totally refreshed! Im only 19, so I haven't gone through half of all the life experiences that you have, but I feel that on some level, I
can relate to your story. I was an over-achiever in high school, and the pressure was piled on me to perform well in university. In my quest
to please other people, I bit of more than I can chew, and got lost from that point onward! I can already see the changes that your program
is going to bring into my life, thank you!
1

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unk nown

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2 years ago

looking forward to the jorney.....thanx 4 contacting...hope i can finally prove myslf that i m somebody and not just a lagy bun...
1

Reply

Zahra

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2 years ago

Hi Dear Lori
I just got your three first e-mails.I have the same feelings as you mentioned.
Thanks alot for your warm support and kindness.The topics were useful to me!I'm eager to see the changes in me at the end of these 30
days.
1
KC

Reply

Share

2 years ago

WOW! This article really hit home with me. Besides sugar, self-help has been my favorite addiction. I figured there must be an answer out
there somewhere, in a book, at a conference, with a therapist. I've looked just about everywhere but feel like Yukon Cornelius searching for
silver and gold, ending up with "nothin". I like your no-nonsense, humorous style and look forward to working your program for the next 30
days. Woo-hoo!
1

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Liz z ie

Share

2 years ago

I really want to improve myself better..I want to change the old me into new happy and cheerful me..It seems like I don't know how and
where to start this journey.. i'm very happy to meet you Lori and be part of this 30 day challenge.God bless :)
1
Lee

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Share

2 years ago

I am excited for the daily emails. I just signed up and read the first one and wrote my "crazy list." Really need this! I have been at the end of

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I am excited for the daily emails. I just signed up and read the first one and wrote my "crazy list." Really need this! I have been at the end of
the rope lately.
I also hope this will help on the road to me changing my outlook. I seem to think differently then everyone else. All I can think about is living
life. I can't stand the idea of going through the motions of life i.e. working forever until retirement and then doing nothing in retirement until
death comes knocking. I want to LIVE! I just don't know where to start nor the financial means.
1

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S onia

Share

2 years ago

Hi,Lori.
This is Sonia, Glad that i have the opportunity to know you and get my re-start.
Well, i searched so my websites of how i can find what i want, what's the meaning of life, and things like that. but found nothing. all of my
friends just told me not to thinkd too much of these meanless things, but i can't help doing this. for i was not happy about my current state. i
want to change, but lost in the my way. though i know only oneself can help himself out, but i indeedly need someone's help. could be kindly
to do this?
1

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S heila

Share

2 years ago

I hope there is not a "bad news" reason why you are no longer responding to these posts.
I know I have to change my perception, known that for years. Easier said than done. I have tried affirmations, gratitude journals, goal setting,
achievement journal, blah, blah, blah. The problem is that the critic in my head is louder, stronger and more persistent than I am. I also
spent a long time in therapy due to depression which I still struggle with. Gave up on therapy a few years ago but I'm still game to try
something new. I can't give up I have a loving family and a spectacular dog.
1

Reply

iams c rewed

Share

2 years ago

I read that there is going to be a solar eclipse around July 1st, 2011, and I was born June 30th, and this is supposed to bring some crazy
changes in my life. it says the changes will be for the better, but the jolt will be scary. I'm ready for it, because i'm sick of this endless cycle
of bullshit i've been going through with people, afraid to get what I want, afriad it will make others dislike me. i'm ready!
1
wew

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Share

2 years ago

dude get set 30

1

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Marijo

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2 years ago

Lori,
I am not sure what my true issues are. It has nothing to do with being overly involved or busy.
I dislike who I am and can't seem to be what everyone else thinks I should be??? (my wrong perception)
I have endless negative mind chatter about the negatives about myself. Will I see any change
with your outrageous journey? I also feel stuck in the place I am at. Happily married,,,husband cannot
leave his job to move from small town. Stuck!
Thanks ahead of time for encouragement. Hope I can change.
mjo
1
S c ot t

Reply

Share

2 years ago

I appreciate that folks have it in em to serve others with positive possibilities...thanks Outrageous...30 days
1
Romy

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Share

2 years ago

lori, to tell you the truth, I'm skeptical about this 30 day programme AND about your motives. I just really hope you sincerely wanted to help
people, and not just trying to sell some crap for your own gain like most marketing people do.
1
S imeon

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2 years ago

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S imeon

2 years ago

Hie lori this is simeon from malawi. i love the way u expresd yoself and it's like u are toking to me personaly. i hope this 30 day programme
shall reveal a new life to me. looking foward!
1

Reply

barb

Share

2 years ago

Lori- looking forward to whatever comes next- I think the thing that impresses me the most so far is that you answer every comment
posted. That is pretty awesome. Thanks for your thoughts and insights- Barb
1

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S uz y

Share

2 years ago

Hi Lori,
It is extraordinary that I found you and Pick The Brain at just the time I needed to. I started with Tony Robbins coaching earlier this year and
just changed coaches. It is quite expensive. While I've achieved some results, I do not feel the results to date are worth the time, energy
and money I've put in. AND all the while I've felt worse and worse about myself!!
Looking forward to the next 30 days
Suzy
1

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S am

Share

2 years ago

Hi Lori
Thanks for your welcome email. I'd just been looking at various websites for jobs and felt really disheartened but then read your email which
was very uplifting and inspiring. I'm looking forward to the next 30 days but am also wary because in the past my ego has intervened
dangerously when I tried to make improvements to my life. I think this is because the ego is such a large part of my life that the real me
believes that killing it off would be akin to killing myself. What I need to understand is that the ego isn't real, just a construct to protect myself
from perceived danger. That's enough rambling. Thanks again.
1

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s angit a

Share

2 years ago

Heelo Lori..
I got the first few mails ...20 infact (the last one was about why do u set goals?) and then I stopped receiving any mails. I haven't received
any for the last 3 - 4 days. I'm wondering...wasn't it supposed to be a 30 day programme..or is it over?
1

Reply

joy t ee

Share

2 years ago

I am skeptical but hopeful. I figure it can only get better from here.
1

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Jenny

Share

2 years ago

Hi Lori , I love the way you write, it made me laugh and goodness knows thats something i need to do more of. I too am looking forward to
joining you for the next 30 days. Continue doing what you do , its great that you are there for so many people.
1
lori

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2 years ago

Barnet - I'm looking forward to having you on this outrageous journey!

1

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z adi

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2 years ago

Hi lori,
Zadi here from johannesburg, south africa. You got my attention with the line " changing the perception of YOU" it sound easy when said but
doing it won't be that easy but I am willing to try this with your tutoring, as the STAKES ARE HIGH lol. anyways, I am looking forward to the
next 30 days.
God bless.
1

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B arnet S haba

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2 years ago

I'm looking forward to the 30 day programme

1
Niv

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2 years ago

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Hey Taylor! I love your email! Its like as if you are talking to me in person!! Its wonderful, and its like you heard my thoughts!! WOW! and
well more than WOW thanks! I would love to post about you on my blog (well I don't think many people read it, but I post anyway :) )
1

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lori

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Niv 2 years ago

Niv - you are simply outrageously adorable and all that sweet talk gets you every where with me! I think we all crave to be accepted
for who we are. It's so exhausting to try to please everyone when you can't please yourself because you are always pushing to be
something. I would be honored for you to write about me and if only 2 people read - well that's 2 people you hopefully made smile. It
counts. You are outrageous - keep believing. In YOU.
1

Reply

K imberly P inc k ney

Share

2 years ago

This 30 days trial seems great. I am very much looking forward to the rest of it. Everything I read is very inspiring and uplifting. Thank you for
writing these.
1

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lori

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Kimberly Pinckney 2 years ago

Kimberly - thank YOU for reading and taking the time to come here and comment. That and in of itself is outrageous, you know?
This way of seeing you - the world - gets integrated the more you interact. You are outrageous for playing and I appreciate YOU.
1
Het al

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2 years ago

Hi lori,
I have subscribed 30 days programme and looking forward it. Hope I will learn something new
1

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lori

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Hetal 2 years ago

Hetal -thanks for joining the club to be outrageous and I hope you learn something new too! I think most people waste time trying to
change who they are instead of seeing themselves differently. The mind's projections of what we need to be take away from who we
are already! Once you become aware and accept you for being you - the world opens up - it's OUTRAGEOUS.
As are you - I kNOW it
xo
LT
1

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lori

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Hetal 2 years ago

Hetal - yay! Glad you have you on board - I hope you learn something too - I think people work so hard to change who they are when really focusing on seeing yourself and your life differently is the instant fix we all desire to use as a stepping stone to a life filled
with purposeful passion. You are outrageous I KNOW it.
1
K at hleen

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Share

2 years ago

I loved the "welcome letter" "getting started,"tomarrow" with crazy list; 'loved the way you express, yourself! This Is language, I know, well! I
am so "hopeful" right now, and "intrigued"
1

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lori

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Kathleen 2 years ago

Well Kathleen I love you!!! You make me outrageously happy and you ROCK.
LOVE your energy - I can see you are on the path to the greatness and outrageousness of you.
Perception dear friend - turn those hopeful eyes on you and all you are right now.
It's stunning. (Of course I AM biased - compliments do that to a Leo ha!)
1
A nony mus

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2 years ago

Will this help even if ive given up completely....as in i want to die, literally
1

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1

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lori

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Anonymus 2 years ago

I'm so sorry you are in such a dark place. I don't know you. But I do know this. You wouldn't have signed up and you wouldn't have
reached out for help if YOU have really quit. You can do this. It starts with your perception of you. Find ONE good thing you believe
you have inside, even if you are heart broken no one else can see - stop trying to NOT be something - and be more of the thing that
makes you feel good. Believe it. I'm in the process of wanting to live again. Don't lie to yourself - but start the process- the modifier is
the KEY. You must see yourself as a child who feels broken and then give YOU the words you needed to hear from someone who
didn't have the resources to give them to you. Find those words - talk to YOU as you would a child - kindly - patiently. Believe the
external world is pulling out all stops until you heal internally - you control all coming at you even if you don't know it. Please try new
words. I know that sounds overly simplistic and I know it feels harder than that. But just do this one thing.
1

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A nony mous

lori 2 years ago

Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply, Lori.

I really need your help. I need someone who i can trust my feelings with,
is there a way i can contact you personally?
I feel that righ now, youre the only one i can trust, i need a good mentor. will you be my mentor?
1

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Tami

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lori 2 years ago

Lori,
I agree with you that anonymus wouldn't have looked to you if they had truly given up. My daughter has had 9 brain
surgeries in 5 1/2 yrs and we have fought every step of the way. It bothers me when people give up. I am frustrated with the
way things have turned out in my life, but I am always looking for ways to improve my life. We all deserve to find hope in our
lives. For without hope we lose sight of what is possible!
Reply
Mimi H

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Anonymus a year ago

Hey Anonymus, I have been there...it is the worst place to be in one's mind. However, look at yourself as a poor, dirty, hungry child
who is crying for help and look at you again as the person who has the power to save that child, would you let the child die?
NOWAY...There is a part of you that wants to live. Do not ignore it..there is always a way..Give yourself a chance
Reply
anum

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2 years ago

i think this 30 days plan is worth, achieving a beautiful life.................!

1

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lori

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anum 2 years ago

Ah you are worth having a beautiful life. I bet it's a lot prettier than you think it is. Acceptance and awareness of YOU and who you
really ARE will change everything. It's not about being self-centered - it's about simply seeing how well you play your part,
understanding the story line you've crafted and being able to change the script to one that serves the outrageous gorgeous YOU.
1
Donna

Reply

Share

2 years ago

Hey Lori,
Been there Done That!!! and after 10 plus years its back. How could I had learned, worked, saw, thought, did, lived, loved, connected, and
now I find myself not slipping did not catch it happening there I have gone and done it again? OR have let it happen again? The fake it to you
Make it, is back. Pushing herself beyond the "Yeild Zone", me finding you today was no accident! One of the reasons I signed up was when I
found out you had five children plus a life it really pissed me off, that I didn't!!!! Please don't take that wrong? I don't think you will although
others might. To admit to myself that I need the next 30 days with you was tough. But now that I have, my mind is wandering how you are
going to pull this off? In 30 days,??? Some time alone and self talk will get me pass that to the real need.
1

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lori

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Donna 2 years ago

I love your outrageous honesty! The self awareness itself is amazing and humbling. Trust me my life sounds much cooler on paper
- ha! But I HEAR you and can see the work you've already done. I've so been there -- I wake up and look around - and think "is this
my life"? All I can see are the spots and they blind me when I'm lead by my mind to a false projection it made of where i "should" be.
You are exactly where you are supposed to be. And the ONLY reason it doesn't feel good is because you simply can't see YOU - all
you can see is the mind's projection of who you SHOULD be because you "know better". I bet if you worked on paying close

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you can see is the mind's projection of who you SHOULD be because you "know better". I bet if you worked on paying close
attention ONLY to your inner dialogue you'd call child protection services on YOU. Right? It sounds so simple, but find empathy for
you - and find the voice that communicates that empathy. IGNORE external influences - it's your mirror of turmoil inside. You GOT
this - you can DO this - just see YOU differently. I bet you'll be shocked when the blinders come off.
1
A ngella

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2 years ago

am looking forward to tomorrow already............Thanks Lori

1

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