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Self Awareness by Elman Spiritus

Awareness begins when we become aware that we
are unaware.one sign that weve woken up is
when we ask our self , am I crazy, or are all of them
crazy?
We're all crazy, living on crazy ideas about Love,
relationships, happiness, about everything.
Were asleep, brainwashed we dont like being
woken up.
The most difficult thing is to listen, to see most of
all we need the readiness to learn something new.
Get disillusioned with our best friends we dont
want new things, particularly when they involve
change.
Theres nothing so important in the world as
Awakening, nothing so delightful as being aware.
Socrates" the unaware life is not worth living"
most of us dont live aware lives , we live
mechanical lives, mechanical thoughts, generally
some one elses, mechanical emotions, actions,
reactions. were zombies, robots, puppets jerked
around by all sorts of things.

The greatest evil is we sleeping, ignorant people

sleeping people running governments, big business,
educating children every child has God within,
societys attempts to mold our children from God
into a devil .
Wars come from us projecting out of ourselves the
conflict inside Freedom makes all people good
because it destroys the inner conflict.
We dont need conscience when we have
Consciousness and sensitivity were not violent
or fearfil
the root of evil is within us, as we begin to
understand we stop making demands on self, and
having expectations of self we stop pushing self
nourishing self on nature, good books, good
movies, good company and enjoyable work have
Soul feelings instead of living empty, soulless lives
feeding on popularity, appreciation, praise.
We only change what we understand.
Step 1. Realise that we dont want to wake up, that
we dont want to be happy.
Step 2. Readiness to understand, to listen, to
challenge our whole belief system.
Insight, not effort , not habits, not Ideals ideals
do a lot of damage as we focus on what should Be
instead of focusing on what is.
Understanding, insight, awareness, instead of
pushing ourselves , society trains us to be
dissatisfied , when were discontented we put out
more and more effort .. but theres little
understanding.
Effortlessness occurs when change comes about
through Awareness and Understanding.

If our mind is unobstructed , the result is wisdom,

wisdom is not acquired, nor is it from experience or
applying yesterdays illusions to todays problems.
As children we are made addicts through the drugs
of approval, appreciation, attention if we are
awakened we no longer march to the drums of
society, but dance to the tune of the music within
us hell is other people, to be with them is to live
in tension.
Enjoy life and the simple pleasures of our senses
be like the animals, not lost in our minds go, go,
go. Slow down, taste, smell, hear sit quietly
listen and observe.
When were ready to lose life we live it.
We dont act if we just know , we act when we taste
and feel the truth.The Illusion of rewards. Mystics
tell us that eternity is right now eternal means
timeless, no time.
Silence is the voice of Beloved God .
Detachment The only way to change is to change
our understanding we dont need anybodys love,
we just need to get in touch with reality, break out
of this programming prison, this conditioning of
false beliefs, these fantasises attachment
destroys our capacity to Love.
Finding self. Mystics say begin with an awareness
of things, then move on to an awareness of
thoughts, and finally we get to awareness of the
thinker the "I".
little girl to little boy "are you a catholic? no he
says Im another abomination."
Are we our body? no every one of our cells is
renewed within 7 years.
Are we our thoughts? No they come and go

Nor are we our name, career, beliefs

All suffering is caused by identifying with
something, whether that something is within us or
outside of us.
A little fish in the ocean "excuse me Im looking for
the ocean".
Understand who "I" is and never be the same again
nothing will ever be able to touch us, and no one
will ever be able to hurt us again
fear nothing and no one we fear no one because
were content to be nobody ... we dont give a hoot
about success, failure, honour, disgrace, or wanting
to impress.
We become more energetic, more alive, we react
less and act more, we lose our tension, were more
relaxed, no more driving with our brakes on... now
able to do the three most difficult things *
first, return Love for hate
second, include the excluded
third, admit we are wrong.
When we become Love we can Love and be loved.
Dont imitate Christ; be Christ ... Compassion is
being Love.
God is the dancer and creation is Gods dance.
Negative feelings toward others - anytime this
happens we are living in an illusion, there is
something wrong with us, were not seeing reality,
we are the one who has to change
we are responsible for the negative feeling, not the
other person because we are making a demand,
having an expectation

We will never feel grief when we lose something

that we have allowed to be free, that we have never
attempted to possess
We see people and things not as they are, but as
we are when we are different, theyll be different.
We will never wake up until we stop sleepwalking,
until we stop blaming everyone else, life, society,
our neighbour, the government, them, they.
Dependence to depend on another psychologically
emotionally implies that we depend on others for
our happiness.
Unconditional Love is Perfect, it casts out fear
there are no demands, no dependency, no
expectations
we do not demand that others make us happy, we
enjoy their company immensely but we do not cling.
Christ said that we should renounce everyone and
everything
we contact reality by dropping all our illusions
when we feel our emptiness inside it wont go away
with TV, football, human company.
Leave everyone free and be free our self, be special
to no one and Love everyone the Rose gives its
fragrance to all *
what society calls Love in poems and songs is the
opposite of Love its desire, control,
possessiveness, manipulation, fear-anxiety is not
Love.
Criticism, flattery will not affect us
We should allow people to be themselves, but we
will protect self, we will be self, we wont allow
manipulation

well live our life, go our own way , keeping self free
to think our thoughts and follow our own
inclinations and tastes
We'll say no if we feel we dont want to be in others
company, and it wont be because of any negative
feelings others cause in us, but because they dont
any more, they dont have any more power over us.
This is not selfish selfish is to demand that others
are not selfish, that you live your life as they see
fit.
We have to suffer enough in a relationship so that
we get disillusioned with all relationships
there must be a better way of living than depending
on another."
To Love is to see a person, a situation, a thing as it
really is, not as we imagine them-it to be most of
us dont take the trouble to see each person, each
thing in its present moment, we find it easier to
label.
Our natural urge is to be Free, to Love, we dont
need external Love, we have internal Love, all we
have to do is unveil self Love.
In any relationship we need clarity of perception
and accuracy of response
we fall in love because we have a conditioned
subconscious image that a particular type of person
appeals to us
but have we seen them; no the awakening usually
comes after marriage.
The beauty of an action comes not from its having
become a habit, but from its sensitivity,
consciousness, clarity of perception, and accuracy
of response.

We can only Love people when we have emptied our

life of people, when we die to the need for people
in aloneness, solitude the desert begins to bloom.
Whether theres something wrong with us or not
well examine that independently of others anger,
we wont be influenced by their anger if we did
wrong it was in unawareness.
No one can make a slave of us if freedom resides in
our hearts, as the bible says "if someone makes us
go one mile, go two".
If we wish to Love we need to learn to see again ...
to depend on no one emotionally refuse to be
special to anyone or call anyone your own
to see at last with a vision that is clear and
unclouded by fear or desire die to the need for
people.
Aloneness means that people no longer have the
power to make us happy or miserable in this
solitude dependence dies, and we can enjoy others
company because there is no clinging or emotional
dependence.
Loneliness is when we miss people,
aloneness is when were enjoying self.
Do things that we can do with our whole being
commune with nature, trees, flowers, birds,
animals, sea, clouds, sky
We are suffering from a lack of Love and Awareness
Love is generated through Awareness
We are not interested in having more fears and
more guilts laid on us more sermons and
exhortations, but we are interested in Love

how can we be happy , how can we live how can

we taste these marvellous things that the mystics
speak of ?
Hidden agendas theres a difference between
knowledge and Awareness "forgive them for they
are not aware of what they are doing we all sin
under the guise of good.
We will never understand self if we seek to change
selfawareness releases reality to change us .
Filtered reality ... when we were young we were
drugged to need people for acceptance , approval,
appreciation, applause, for what they called
success
we were programmed to unhappiness to gain the
world but lose our Soul to get out we have to get
deprogrammed by becoming aware of the
programming.
Enlightenment wake upwhen we are ready to
exchange our illusions for reality, when we are
ready to exchange our dreams for facts, thats
when life finally becomes meaningful, becomes
beautiful.
Focus on the now instead of hoping for better times
in the future.
Before Enlightenment we are depressed, after
Enlightenment we continue to be depressed, but we
dont identify with it any more.
Its not by our actions that we will be saved, its by
our being its not what we do but what we are
thats important
Wakefulness, happiness is a state of non delusion,
where we see things not as we are, but as they are.
Ideas fragment our, intuition, vision, reality
words cannot give us reality, they can only point

we should drop our concepts, opinions, prejudices,

judgements we cannot consider how God is but
only how he is not to know that we do not know,
until we connect inside.
Eternal life is now, in the timeless now.
We want to be Aware, to be in touch with whatever
is and let whatever happen if Im awake or asleep
its fine.
Resistance the more we resist something the more
we give it power we cope with evil not by fighting it
but by understanding it, in understanding it
disappears
how do we cope with darkness, not with violence
but by turning on the light.
Desire dont suppress it, understand it, and turn it
into a preference... "be desire-less" Buddha
Self Observation means watching, as far as
possible, everything in us, and around us and watch
it as if it were happening to someone else ... dont
personalise what is happening ... use the third
person eg I am observing me, Ashley .
Be like the sky observing the clouds coming and
going, white, black , large, small, we are passive ,
detached observers. dont fix anything , watch,
observe just understand.
The only way someone can help us is in challenging
our ideas.
We do not change if we only change our exterior
world.
Awareness without evaluating everything ... want
to change the world? ... transform self first through
observation, understanding without interference or
judgement ... no commentary, no attitude, just

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observe , study, watch, without the desire to

change what is.
Meaning is only found when we go beyond meaning
life only makes sense when we perceive it as
mystery.
Faith is an openness to the truth, no matter what
the consequences, no matter where it leads us ...
Faith is insecurity because we dont know.
Renunciation ... when we renounce something were
stuck to it forever dont renounce it, see through
it by Understanding it when we wake up we
simply drop the desire for it.
Listen and Unlearn ... have an attitude of openness,
of willingness to discover something new with
the path of spirituality we have to unlearn almost
everything we have been taught.
CharityType 1 self centeredness, where we give self the
pleasure of pleasing self.
Type 2 refined selfishness, when we give self the
pleasure of pleasing others
Type 3 worst type, when we do something good so
that we wont get a bad feeling
A good is never so good as when we have no
awareness that were doing good a Saint is one
until he-she knows it.
Illusions about others ... never be disillusioned, or
disappointed again drop our false ideas , see
through self, see through people and Love self and
all.
Happiness The only reason were not experiencing
bliss because were focusing on what we dont
have society determines what it means to be a

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success, the main preoccupation of society is to

keep society sick.
Every one of us is sick, were all crazy we want to
become president of the lunatic asylum and were
proud of it, even though it means nothing
being the head of a corporation or having a lot of
money has nothing to do with success were a
success when we wake up, then we dont have to
explain anything to anyone,
we dont give a hoot what anyone thinks or says
about us we have no worries, were contented.
Having a good job or being famous or having a good
reputation has absolutely nothing to do with
happiness or success all were really worried
about is what people will think, our spouse,
children, friends, neighbours
Were all frightened and confused puppets strutting
and jerking around the stage were controlled,
manipulated, unhappy, miserable, we dont enjoy
life, constantly tense, anxious
why because we identify "I " with some label,
money, job ... "I" is neither great or small "me" is
generally selfish, foolish, childish, a great big ass.
Happiness is our natural state if we ask an
awakened person why are you happy , they say why
not? happiness cannot be acquired because we
already have it , all we have to do is drop our
illusions, our ambitions, our greed, our cravings.
Constant happiness is constant change happiness
is not the same as excitement ... Happiness is a
state of non illusion .
Fear ... the root of violence ignorance caused by
fear is where all evil and violence comes from ...
there are only two things in the world God and fear

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God is Love, thus Love and fear are the only two
things theres only one evil, fear only one
good, Love
Fear is the loss of the known.
Mystics "dont seek the Truth, they just drop their
opinions"
Suffering if were suffering we are asleep
suffering is a sign that were out of touch with the
Truth, suffering is given to us that we may open our
eyes to the Truth, that we might understand that
there is falsehood somewhere; just as physical pain
is given to us so we will understand that there is
illness somewhere.
Suffering points to an area in which we have not yet
grown, where we need to grow and be transformed
and change
When our illusions clash with reality, when our
falsehoods clash with truth then we have suffering.
Four steps to self empowerment
Realise reality is not the problem, we are the
problem.
Get in touch with negative feelings were not aware
of , why are we feeling nervous, tense etc
Understand those negative feeling are in us, not in
reality problems exist only in our minds
Never identify with these negative feelings
Change self, not others or external circumstances
Since our origin, we have focused our attention
externally in a need to feel safe, loved and valuable
... we need to look inside ourselves to find the roots
of our insecurities and pull them out.

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It is not skill, talent or things that produce

destructive consequences, its our intention to use
them to manipulate, and control others in order to
make self feel valuable and loved.
We need to look at the external world of things,
interactions and experiences, as a mirror that
reflects our internal world of intentions, emotions
and thoughts.
Self empowerment is the alignment of our
personality with our Soul ...
Self Empowerment confronts us with the most
unhealthy parts of self, the parts that blame,
criticise, judge, resent, envy, and hate others, self
and the Universe.
Self Empowerment is our human experience without
the limitations of fear, self doubt and self hatred.
Creating authentic power is a pro active, lifetime
endeavour that requires our intention and effort...
we cannot align our personality without becoming
conscious with our emotions.
We become a Light that illuminates the darkness
rather than a voice that condemns it we become
a gift to ourselves and others ,
we step into our role here as a Soul-Spirit , awake
and aware , joyful and grateful, powerful and
creative, compassionate and caring.
Emotions are currents of energy that continually
run through us, from the crown chakra through the
other chakras and return ... as energy is processed
at the chakras in different ways different emotions
result .
We cannot expand spiritually without learning how
to detach from our emotions and understand them
as products of the way energy is processed by us...

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our emotions come from our energy system not our

interactions with things or people ... each emotion
is a message from our Soul to stop and look inward.
The more intense, the more pain is felt in our body
and the more compulsive our thoughts ... the more
familiar we become with our emotions we will see
how they remain the same, even though the
circumstances in which they appear change.
Painful emotions, anger, fear, jealousy, revenge are
experiences of the parts of our Soul that our soul
desires to heal... emotional pain is physical pain
and emanate from fear.
When we do not recognise our deeper, painful
emotions for what they are they shape our
perceptions, judgements and actions.
Emotional awareness is continuously studying the
changing array of emotions within us if we are
frequently emotional we dont know the meaning of
our feelings.
Depression can be utilised as an instrument of
spiritual growth, otherwise its like drifting on an
ocean of pain without learning how to sail.
Earth School ... even if we are not aware of our
emotions , they are always being produced inside
us ... we all take the same course
Self Empowerment different students need to
take different classes in order to complete it.
There are two types of classes ... about Fear and
about Love ... instead of trying to change
circumstances or people, its important that we
examine the emotions we are experiencing, by
looking inward instead of focusing on outward
circumstances.
Assume that we are the cause of the emotions that
torment us , not others ... our task is to change self

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not others as we can only make permanent changes

in our self.
Do not focus on the experience of anger, jealousy,
sadness, fear instead focus on what makes us
angry, jealous, sad and fearful.
We are here to be create Self Empowerment based
on the perceptions, values, purpose of our Soul,
being Harmony, Cooperation, sharing, giving,
reverence for life
we shouldnt use our energy to rearrange external
circumstances that trigger painful emotions as that
will not change our rigid patterns of emotional
response which have a life independent of external
circumstances.
We will continue to encounter circumstances that
trigger painful emotions until we look beyond them
to the interior dynamics that create our emotional
pain.
Energy There are two ways energy can leave our
energy system which transforms every experience
in Fear and Doubt ... creating ways to exploit
others, or...
in Love and Trust, which produces health and
vitality... no matter where or how it produces an
emotion any painful emotion means we are
acting, speaking, thinking in Fear and Doubt.
Every emotion is a physical experience emotional
awareness is noticing what sensations we are
feeling in, and where in our body
it is preventive medicine The deeper cause of every
physical dysfunction is energy leaving our energy
system in fear and doubt ... Medical treatment is an
emergency reaction to a symptom that has
developed over a long time.

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Our energy system (Chakras) continually produce

physical sensations, in the form of emotions, in the
vicinity of each of its centres ... the departure of
energy from our chakras is a real event producing
physical experiences.
Before we can change the way we process energy,
we must become aware of how we are processing
it... each decision is a moment of creativity.
We are an immortal Soul temporarily utilising a
body our emotions are the instruments that tell
us how our energy system is functioning
scanning each chakra gives us emotional feed
back this emotional awareness which allows us to
make life changing alterations without the
experience of physical disease to force the issue
If we think that we feel nothing, we are bound by
fears that we think we do not have if we pay
attention we will notice that we have grown used to
painful sensations once were are aware that our
body is hurting we can do something about it.
Present Moment ... when we are not aware in the
present moment we have no power when we are
aware of the present moment we have access to all
possibilities the present moment has to offer.
It is not possible to become aware of the present
moment by examining , studying or thinking about
external circumstances... our inner landscape is
richer than the outer remaining with our inner
experience is the choice to pursue authentic power.
When we are continually aware of everything that
we feel, we are in continual communication with our
Soul
When an activity is used to divert attention from
painful emotions, it is compulsive.

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Passion is the unfolding of Joy ... Compulsion is the

unfolding of fear ...to uncover the origin of a
compulsion we must stop doing it and, experience
what we feel
If we are not aware of what we are thinking or
feeling in our body we are not aware of the present
moment when we are not aware of our emotions
our attention is focused on the circumstances
around us.
Detachment When we are fixated on the events of
our life, our attention is absorbed detachment
allows us to remain aware of what we feel while the
events of our life unfold.
When we are not detached from our emotions we
cannot separate self from them, and they possess
us.
Workaholism is a flight from emotions an
exploitation of people and circumstances to avoid
pain its putting strangers in charge of our life
while we focus on insignificant things
the strangers are the emotions we bury under our
superficial activities ... Workaholism and Anger go
together as they are both flights from our feelings.
Intimacy ... it doesnt matter how others act, or
speak, it depends on how energy leaves our body
when it leaves in Love, and trust we experience
intimacy the pursuit of external power through
manipulation and control is incompatible with
intimacy
harmony, cooperation, sharing, giving and
reverence for life brings intimacy... Intimacy is
trusting that the universe will provide what we
need, when we need it and in the most appropriate
manner.

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Anger Is the path of least resistancebeneath

every anger experience there is huge amount of
emotional experience anger is the tip of the ice
berg the rest awaits our uncovering
outbursts are painful experiences but are not
emotional explorations all hostility originates
from fear fear = a life of dissatisfaction,
Love = fearless = a life of fulfilment ... our Anger
prevents Love and isolates us we push away what
is most longed for , companionship and
understanding.
Our Anger is the agony of believing that we are not
capable, or worthy of being understood when we
are angry we may not appear frightened, actually
we are terrified beneath anger lies pain and
beneath that pain lies fear. continual anger =
continual pain.
Our Anger is resistance to the world not being the
way we want it then we feel the fear of realising
that we cannot control all that we feel is essential
for our safety and well being ... rage is an
excruciating experience of powerlessness.
We continually encounter what our soul wants us to
encounter, when we resist our encounters we resist
the purpose of our life and that resistance is our
pain.
The core cause of anger is lack of self worth
when our pain is acute we cover it with anger
striking out at friends and perceived adversaries
... we mistake kindness for weakness, we cannot
imagine that others care for us because we dont
care for self. ...
we imprison self in a cell of our own creation,
blaming everyone else for being there.

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Anger = Pain = Fear = Low Self Esteem = Anger =

Pain = Fear = a terror of being alive, of not
belonging, of being alone and unable to survive, its
not a reaction to particular circumstances, its
feeling unprepared and powerless.
Perfectionism is the continual judgement of our self
and others as deficient our assumption that the
world is not perfect
that we need to control and manipulate so that the
circumstances we prefer are perfect for others
our preference create a painful fortress ... whereas
honouring others preferences creates harmony and
cooperation.
All choices create perfect consequences we create
continually and perfectly, consciously or
unconsciously the never ending experiences
provide us with opportunities to see the
relationship between what we choose and what we
experience it is our compassion and wisdom that
bring greater awareness and freedom.
Pleasing our desire to please others is a potent way
to distract self from our feelings it is an attempt
to change others so we will feel better.it is our
covert way of pursuing external power, whereas
anger is our overt way either way we have
authority issues.
Our intention to be what we think others want us to
be disrupts harmony , even though it may
temporarily reduce tensionwe are always tense,
as we place our self worth into the hands of others,
depending completely on their judgement, while
doing our best to influence them.
Pleasing others prevents us from experiencing our
emotions because we are attempting to feel others
emotions in the process of being judged by one,
disapproved by another, and accepted by a third we

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become lost our emotions fluctuate between fear,

anxiety and relief.
Daydreaming is our way of keeping our self from all
that will bring meaning, purpose and fulfilment in
our lives a pattern of distractions to avoid feeling
if we allow our self to become aware of our
emotions
when we daydream we lose awareness of the
present moment which continues without end or
beginning, but our transitory time on Earth to
realise our self is not utilised.
Some of us spend our lives unaware of our self as
the central character in our life "movie" ... by not
experiencing our Inner self, we focus on pleasing
and controlling others, eating, having sex,
achieving, or becoming invisible.
Boredom is deep rooted resistance to experiencing
painful emotions after all efforts to distract
attention from ourselves has been ineffective
while workaholics and perfectionists put our energy
into externals , when we are bored we put our
energy into avoiding them... boredom is the
opposite of reverence.
Idol worship is the internal image of what we think
we are or should be, to be safe, admired,
valuable ... it is a screen between us and our
experiences to avoid leading our life directly
we ignore our inner signals (emotions) we do not
have the courage to open self to Love so we
mistake admiration for Love, and act as we think we
should act if our emotion doesnt fit the role we
think we should play we substitute an emotion we
think we should feel.
As a daredevil we see our self as courageous but we
dont have the courage to face what we are

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feeling as we dont relate honestly with self or

others , they can't relate honestly with us.
A glorious life means we face the pain of
powerlessness, of feeling unloved and change.
Impenetrable optimism is not the optimism that we
feel when we become aware of the compassion and
wisdom of the universe it is when we shield our
self from painful emotions by barricade our self
from our emotions behind "all is for the best" but
if we operate out of fear, anger, jealousy,
vengefulness it is only a pretence.
Entitlement is a perception that we are superior
the projection of invulnerability beneath this is a
terror of ridicule and rejection the more
frightened we are the more entitled we feel.
Alcohol-Drug addiction ... the cause is intense
emotional pain which points to a part of our
personality that does not share the elevated
perceptions of our Soul finding and healing the
cause of emotional pain is the core of Spiritual
expansion it can only be done by self.
Eating as we learn to receive the nourishment of
the Universe and use it our body assumes a form
that expresses our balance otherwise we feel the
need to provide it our self.
Sex addictive sexual attraction is a defence
against being powerlessness they can be
continual and intense or in our background
activated by a potential sexual partnerthe craving
is a search for purpose, meaning and value.
The more intense the pain of fear, unworthiness and
feeling unlovable the more obsessive the craving
for interaction becomes even though they appear
intimate they are barriers to intimacy

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connecting the obsession with the avoidance of

painful emotions is the first step in Loving sexual
intimacy, sexual partners are not interchangeable.
Power struggles when the outcome is more
important than the activity its when our desire to
manipulate and control conflicts with others desire
to manipulate, and control us
it is the pursuit of external power without
reverence, our attempt to avoid pain it collapses
when we withdraw our energy from it
they become uninteresting when we change our
intent from winning to learning about self they
illuminate dynamics within that we must change to
be empowered.
Saviour searching is locating someone or something
that can deliver us from discomfort It usually
takes the form of romantic attraction, and places
the responsibility on others for the work only we
can do only we are the source of our happiness.
Judging when we judge others we forget who we
are, our goals and desires and what we are feeling
until we acknowledge that we possess the same
characteristics that we judge in others we will
become enraged, disappointed, angry,
contemptuous when we see them in others.
It shifts awareness from our body experiences on to
the activities of out mind it is a pre emptive
attack against what we most want ... intimacy, and
acceptance.
Stress when we resist a circumstance in life it
takes energy and produces stress how much
energy we expend in resisting determines how
much stress we have ...
Resistance is the loss of energy when we attempt
to change a person, event or circumstance... its like

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saying to the river of your life flow over there not

here once we accept our life we can determine
what we need to change to create what we desire.