H2 Volume 9/Issue 2/5/11/07

/PAD: WHAT’S YOUR

PROBLEM? page 8

/STUDENTS AND
THEIR MULTIPLE
(LACK OF) USES
page 10

/ONE WEEKEND IN
TELEVISIONLAND page 14
Editor’s letter
Good hello, H2O Magazine,
Students’ Union,
The year trudges on; the first years are settled and stock- Bath Spa University,
piling trolleys. The second years are disillusioned and Newton Park,
getting drunk out of boredom more than anything else and Bath,
BA2 9BN
the third years have woken up to the idea of ‘the real world’
Email:h20@bathspa.ac.uk
just around the corner and are systematically applying
01225 875588
for any kind of post-grad qualification that will keep them
www.bathspasu.co.uk/h20
waking up at one in the afternoon for a bit longer. So all is
as expected.
Editor/ Dan Polak
This issue has gone quite smoothly thanks to our lovely Features Editor/ Vicki Mason
new people. Hello new people. Of course the slickness of Arts Editor/ Stuart Richardson
production is also in debt to the old people as well. Hello Music Editor/ Dan Manning
old people. Sports Editor/ Lizzie Overton
Sub Editors/ Claire Sibbick
This month I’m approaching the issue of PAD in my Harry Shorthouse
editorial. We will have another survey coming up in the Jasmine Ayres
very near future to gauge your opinions on the matter Rosie Taylor-Trigg
and we’ll publish the results so that you can have a look Photographer/ Lotte North
at who thinks what. I’d like to point out that in every H2O
where I or one of the team approaches an issue relating
to university life, we will follow it up. In that spirit, I hope Marketing/ Tim Holden
you will all attend the Make Wednesday Afternoons Free Simon Antrobus
protest outside main house, as we certainly will be there.
Also pick up an issue of H2O soon for our investigation into VP Communications and
the available rooms, with our very own room audit. Let’s Campaigns/ David Jones
see if we can clear some space for sports, skills and all
kinds of things that make us much more rounded people.
Not fat. More attributes. Talents and stuff.
Contributors/ Owen Davies,
Dan
Alex Ross, Katie Steed, Rosie
Taylor-Trigg, Matt Bolton, Emily
Farrar, Martyn Burchett, Nat
This month in numbers: Huitson, Claire Morris, Debbie

600
Attwood, Molly Case, Amy
Patterson, Chris MacLennan,
Number of extra copies Dave Jones, Bethan Howell,
printed last month compared with the James Anderson, Oz Webb

month before

19
The opinions expressed in the
pages of this paper are those
Articles promised but not of the authors and do not
delivered necessarily represent the views
of Bath Spa University Students’

1 Number of emails asking for

Union. However, BSU Students’
Union makes every effort to
check the content of the articles .
increased number of cheese-based
articles.
CONTENTS
ON THE COVER/
/is pad bad? editorial page 8
/what are students for? page 10
/tv week, jimmy carr in the bogs, page 16

SPECIAL FEATURES/
/ scouts and their uses page 12
/ a resident’s guide to Bath page 13
/ band profile page 18
/ live band review page 19

REGULARS/
/ sabbaticals page 4
/ jobshop page 24
/ arts page 20
/ music page 30
/ sports page 37

James
Anderson:
SU President
Hello again everyone, hope you
are all ok and you’ve started
your year on the right foot.
Hopefully you haven’t spent
all your money at the bar!
That said if you do have any
problems through the year then
the Students’ Union is the place
to come for help and advice
with anything and everything!
Current issues
As your President it is my
responsibility to represent
you and help sort out any
problems students have. I
have recently come across two
areas of concern that many
students feel strongly about
and this is where I can help.
Bus Service
From talking to students,
complaints to me and from
reading Facebook it is evident
that the bus service falls well
below the expectations of
students, especially when
you are paying £82 a term for
the service! I have had a fair
amount of complaints emailed
to me about the bus service and
I took these to a meeting with
two representatives of First who
are currently looking through
them to improve their service.
They have said they will try
and put more buses on where
possible and will look into the
customer service provided by
their drivers as many complaints
were about rude drivers. This
is the first step towards a good
bus service but we need to be
a little patient as First put their
changes to work. Whilst these
plans are put into action can I
please ask all students to be
patient with drivers and try your
hardest not to be rude in return.
The main problem drivers are
having is students leaving
the Students’ Union on a
Wednesday or Friday night
and pushing to get on the bus.
For the future, can all students
please follow a few guidelines
when using the 418 service;
• Don’t push to get on the bus
at the end of the night- the 418
buses can hold up to 120 people
so there is more than enough
room for everyone on two buses
• Do not threaten drivers- if drivers
are shouted at or threatened
they will not drive the bus and
then no-one goes anywhere
• Move down the bus- no
matter what time of day. If you
have to stand up please move
down so people getting on
don’t have to squeeze past
and the bus driver then knows
how much room there is.
• Try to have the correct change!
This speeds up your paying
process so the buses won’t run late
If we can follow these guidelines
then the drivers will be more co-
operative and we can show First
that we can keep our end of the
deal and it is their turn to improve
the service for the students that
pay so much. Everyone’s co-
operation in this matter will be
greatly appreciated. If there
are any other complaints you
would like me to pass on then
please email me with details
of exact time and date to: su-
president@bathspa.ac.uk.
Wednesday Afternoons
Want to be part of a club
or society but have no free
time? Want to represent the
university by volunteering?
Want a guaranteed time all
year round when you can work
part time? Want set time each
week to do group work? Want
a time when you know you can
practice/rehearse for upcoming
events/assessments? These
are the types of things students
are being restricted from doing
every year and I have had so
many complaints from students
about the troubles they face. We
are one of the only universities
in the country that does not have
Wednesday afternoons free for
students to take part in extra
curricular activities, which I feel
are important to development of
new employability skills, or study/
rehearse to improve grades in
assessments. I am asking all
students who feel they would like
to get involved in this campaign
to get in touch by emailing
me (su-president@bathspa.
ac.uk) with contact details so
we can get the ball rolling. All
the plans are in early stages
but I will be doing a feasibility
study to show the University
that it is possible without too
much disruption, and then I
will want student involvement
to show the University this
is what the students want.
That’s what I am mainly focusing
on at the moment but if there are
other issues bothering you please
do not hesitate to get in touch.
I’d like to say a big thank you
to everyone that helped with
Bath Spa’s Got Talent which a smashing job headlining the
Hopefully you’ve all settled
was a great night with loads of Flirt! and Flux on a weekly basis.
into a routine by now and work
talented people. With another
hasn’t started to get on top of
open mic coming soon you
you yet. As for us sabbs things
might have another chance to
haven’t really settled down since
see the great song writing skills Tuesday 23rd of October saw the
freshers’ week! Outside of our
of Alex Edworthy, the amazing final of Bath Spa’s Got Talent at
normal office hours we’ve had
voice of Kerry Smith singing her NP SU, and what a night it was!
brilliant Flirt!, Flux (including
own songs, the breathtaking We had drums, guitars, singers,
Stingray from Neighbours’ guest
guitar playing from Mark didgeridoos, harmonicas…the
appearance!!), Open Mic, Bath
Coldham and Olly Wright on lot! The competition was a
Spa’s Got Talent and Karaoke
his didgeridoo and harmonica. brilliant opportunity for our
night’s. So make sure you get up
Congratulations to the winner students to get up and show
to your SU and don’t miss out!
Mitch Miller who won two tickets their talent, and the feedback
to Amsterdam. Keep your eyes from the audience was positive.
out for Open Mic as everyone Thank you to everyone who
is invited to play and practice went to the effort of entering and
The first couple of weeks I was
playing in front of a crowd. performing (including those in the
busy with the sports teams who
first heats) because it does take
went on Varsities to Newport
Finally, I hope everyone keeps some balls to get up on stage
(03/10) and Winchester (10/10)
an eye out for the November and do what you did in front of
and had a chance to get their
campaigns from my counterpart an audience!! The winner was a
freshers’ out in friendly matches.
VP David Jones and uses VP Beth very talented fresher’ Mitch Miller
We took over 200 students over
Howell to join a society or sign up who sang his own song, and
both weeks and came from there
to a trip/activity (it’s not too late) “Everything” by Michael Bublé,
with some successful results.
and pocketed himself 2 tickets to
The stars on both days were the
Take care the Amsterdam trip! Keep an eye
newly formed basketball team
out for next terms competition,
who won on both occasions
J will it be “Spa’s in your eyes”
(beating last years BUSA
or “Spa Idol”? … wait and see!!
champs!) having never played a
We held our first curry night at
match before. As for all the other
the SU on Saturday the 27th of
teams, it was nice to have such
October which sold out within
a positive start to the year with
15 minutes! The next chance
a good turn out, so let’s keep
you’ll get to snap up a curry
that up for the rest of the year!
and a drink for only £5 will
be on the 10th of November.

One of the Go for it! activities

we held was the free learn to DJ
That’s about it from me, so take
session on 16/10. The session
it easy and if there’s anything
was taken by resident student
you want your SU to provide,
DJ Chris Bibby and was a great
please free to approach us
success. About 15 hopeful DJ’s
Bethan Howell: turned up, and after being shown
and raise any issues you have.

VP the ropes by Chris, had a go of

mixing some tunes themselves.
Activities and We are looking to hold another
Beth xxx
session in the near future, so if
Participation you are interested – get in touch
Shwmae Spartans! via my e-mail. I would like to add
a personal thank you to Chris for
taking this session and also doing

David Jones:
VP
Communications
and Campaigns
Hey there Kats and Kittens,
Hope that you’ve had a good
couple of weeks at the start
of term, and are now getting
well into the swing of things.
So where to start, well, after
getting my article in a little bit
late for Dan, I thought I would
do that same for this edition of
H2O. We have been getting
some good feedback from
H2O. So please continue to
support you student magazine
by sending in your stories,
pictures and news. It would be
especially good if we could get
some correspondents from the
halls of residence, and that
does include Somerset Place,
Waterside Court and Bankside.
This is your magazine too.
On the web front, things on the SU
website are ticking over nicely. A
big thanks to the 200 of you who
are currently signed-up to use
the group:space area. It is home
to exclusive content from Bath
Spa’s Got Talent and Friday Flux.
Talking of Bath Spa’s Got
Talent, I want to say a huge
well done and thank you to
all of the finalists. A massive
shout-out to Mitch, our first Bath
Spa’s Got Talent winner; he is
a huge talent so look after him!
You attend one of only
doesn’t have wednesday afternoons free for
sports and skills. Help us change that.
www.bathspasu.co.uk/wednesdayafternoons
Things in the Union office
have certainly slowed down
after Freshers’ Week, although
things are now looking forward
to Christmas. It’s really hard to
think of things to buy people.
In the last few years, I’ve had
the silly notion that having an
‘ebay christmas’ would be cool.
This was not the case, although
some of the bargains that you
can find on ebay are amazing!
Anyway, this month sees a big
awareness campaign taking
place. Look out for information
about personal safety, drink
and drug awareness, and safe
sex. For more information, keep
your eyes out at the campuses.
Just quickly to mention, we are
currently conducting a survey
about the ents run by the SU.
If you get involved, you could
win a new iPod nano. Simply
visit the SU website and follow
the link on the home page.
You stay classy Bath Spa,
and thanks for stopping by!
David
6 universities that
 MONEY MATTERS
Every issue our welfare office furnish you with the many things that the University
of Life would have taught you by now. It’s basically like going to two universities.
Except the University of Life was just made up by miners and taxi drivers.
Income can be tight when
you’re a student, so you
need to make the most of the
money you do have coming in.
Most of your income will arrive
in a lump sum three times
during the academic year;
early October after registration,
January and April. You will find
it helpful to work out a budget…
Handling your money matters
can be challenging, deciding
what your priorities are and how
much to spend on each item
can be confusing and initially
overwhelming. Here are some
money matters tips which will
give an idea on how to handle
your money matters successfully.
Firstly, remember that your loan
is paid in 3 installments at the
start of each term in September,
January and April. Each payment
has to carry you until the next one.
Check you’re receiving the
maximum Student Loan you are
entitled to, two things to check:
-Have you applied for the
means tested element of
your student loan, this also
determines possible grant
and bursary entitlement?
-Have you been paid for the
correct number of weeks, (some
courses are longer than others)?
If in any doubt, check
with your Local Authority
Getting a bus pass is essential
for cheap traveling, this is
available from the Student Union
at £82 per term. You can travel
on all Bath services, as well
as using the bus at weekends.
Money Matters’Tips for Budgeting
-Spend some time planning
your income and expenditure
-Prepare or use a budget
sheet , there is an example
of this at welfare web page
-Recognise what you might
be worrying about, what you
might overspend on, what
your needs are, how your
lifestyle affects your money etc.
-List essential expenditure at
least once a month, maybe when
your bank statement comes in.
-Try to keep a record of
everything you spend, including
bank and credit card statements.
This helps identify regular and
occasional spending patterns
and you will need them to apply
for the Access to Learning Fund.
-Save (where you can) and
plan for extra expenditure such
as start of year costs, special
occasions, family birthdays etc.
-If you have debts, or feel you are
getting into debt, or are about to
borrow money but worry about
paying it back, don’t ignore the
situation. Go for advice from
the Welfare Office as soon as
possible. We will help you to deal
with the priority debts and help
you make the best decisions
and manage your budget.
-Open a student or graduate
bank account if you haven’t
already got one. If you are
unable to get an account with
overdrafts because of debts or
any other reason, consider a
basic banking account and seek
advice from the Welfare Office.
-Try not to withdraw money
too often, for example,
withdraw money for the week
-Consider where buying
books is essential and check
out second hand options,
libraries and sharing.
-Check out all student discounts
and find out about emergency
financial help, including the
Access to Learning Fund.
We do offer a money advice
service. Please visit welfare
webpage for further information.
EDITORIAL
WITH DAN POLAK

Who likes PAD? Because it watch them write. Brilliant. She’ll

seems everyone doesn’t. It only learn what said writer’s hot
seems like everyone doesn’t beverage preferences are, but
because those who don’t like
PAD are very, very vocal about
it. Why shouldn’t they be? I think
‘Most that’s fine. It gets a tick in the
box. That’s all that’s important.

PAD is dire. It’s patronising,

it’s slow moving, it’s repetitive.
It actually reminds me a lot
people It’s also too easy. You watch a
video, you learn. That is how
it’s meant to work. You watch
of a module I took in the first
year called WRITING: THE
PROCESS, which was mostly
know not a video. You learn. You write
down what you want to be when
you grow up. You deliver a
about how we all like to write
stories in our pyjamas with
some biscuits nearby, and (I
to wear presentation on what you want
to be. In my presentation I lied
and said I want to be a teacher,
have this on good authority)
was teachable in a single day. a polo this is because I would fail if I
said I wanted to be a writer (not
on a magazine or paper) and
PAD follows the same kind of
route. Most people’s problem
with it is the close-to-unbearable
shirt to an that’s all I want to be ever, ever,
ever. I delivered the presentation
without aids, without prompts
patronising tone. Most people,
the vast majority, know not to
wear a polo shirt to an interview.
interview... and without enthusiasm. It didn’t
last the correct amount of time
and I almost killed myself half-
Of course you don’t. It’s stupid. It
makes you look eight years old
and ready for a PE lesson. If you
if you way through when I caught
a glimpse of some goodie-
goodie’s gargantuan 5-point-
don’t know this, you don’t deserve
to get the job. You are a stupid
person. The only job you should
don’t plan on varying garish colours of
cardboard. I got a 2.1. I should
have failed. Why didn’t I fail?
be able to get if you’re wearing
a polo shirt is ‘retail assistant’
at Sports World. Enjoy your life.
know this, It’s too easy. Everyone who sat
through those presentations saw
someone who should have failed,

PAD is hopelessly narrow. I took

creative PAD or whatever it was
you don’t but didn’t. IT’S TOO EASY!

It takes up module time. I wanted

called because I want to be a
writer. This however, is not a
career choice, not one that will
deserve
gain you any marks anyway.
One of my friends was stuck with
what to do for her placement.
the job’
She wants to write novels. It
was suggested she followed a
writer around for two weeks, and
to do a really quite cool module,
but couldn’t. That’s annoying. I
can’t remember what the module
was and it probably wasn’t as
cool as I wanted it to be, but still,
I know PAD was crap. But I also
know this opinion isn’t shared by
everyone. Actually, some people
like it. Remember when Matt
[More from this writer at
www.h2oeditor.blog.com]
Bolton did the PAD survey last
year for H2O? It came up 50/50.
Some people think it’s rubbish.
Others (mostly jam-for-brains)
think it’s alright. So that means
it’s serving a purpose, right?
Recently a number of anti-
PAD forums have asserted the
absolute opposite. Everybody
hates PAD. Yeah they do.
‘We’re really very clever and
‘Instead
this is stupid,’ some particular
ego-maniacs have said. Wow.
It is stupid, that’s true. But
of trying
these people aren’t as clever
as they point out; I counted
the number of posts that had
to get rid
simple grammatical and spelling
mistakes while arguing that
they were ‘to inteligent’ [sic] to
of PAD,
be insulted by PAD…over 50%
had them. Oh guys you are so
intelligent. PAD isn’t stupid, no,
we should
you’re really clever. You attend a
university that might even, one
day, break into the top 50! If only
try and
someone would employ us, eh?
Not to say that people who go to
change it’
this university are stupid. No way.
Very clever people do attend
this institution, but the arrogant
tone of a student wronged is the
least pleasant way to get a point
across. This irritating voice litters
the forums like people in pink
spandex on unicycles in Bath.
I’ll focus on the people making
okay points. Some people
understand that PAD has a use
to others, if not themselves. But
most people say that ‘we don’t
need PAD’. One of the forums is
actually called ‘We Don’t Need
PAD’. What they fail to realise
is that their collective ‘we’ is not
representative of the views of
the entire student population.
A sit-in has been mentioned. A
boycott (like you don’t already)
is a prevalent suggestion.
Just one idea though. How about,
instead of trying to get rid of PAD
(which is bloody compulsory by
the way, so you’re not going to
get rid of it) we try and change
it? We work with those in
charge, we talk to our student
reps. We suggest things. It
already helps people, let’s make
it help more people. Make it into
something that isn’t derided by
so many and actually turns out
to be useful to those who have
held jobs before, and not just
that lucky few who never had
to interview for Tesco or Costa.
PAD needs to be more difficult.
It needs to not dilute and
standardise our attributes on
our CVs and instead make them
stand out. It needs to improve,
but ‘the powers that be’ know that
already, and if we gave them the
feedback that we reserve only
for internet forums, then they
would know what works and
what doesn’t. One of the reasons
Bath Spa is held back is due to
employability. Let’s change that.
Who knows, we might end up in
the top 50 universities, and give
those who chose the ‘intelligence
argument’ a little more to go on.
STUART RICHARDSON TALKS
STUDENTS
I bet you got pissed last night
and I bet you have a traffic cone
somewhere in your house. Even
if you didn’t and don’t, I bet you
fit a stereotype of a student in
some way. I bet you’ve missed a
deadline at some point or gone
without washing for days on
‘If you’re
end, getting sick off the mould
growing over the plates rotting
on the side in your kitchen, still
moping about in your dressing
honest,
gown at three in the afternoon
on a Tuesday. If you are honest,
you will accept that a lot of
people don’t like students, and
if you are really honest, you
will agree that they have some
you will
legitimate reasons for this.
Alright, so this is the point
where the ‘but we are the future’
accept
argument comes out, we are
the next generation in training,
right? Have a think for a minute.
that a lot
of people
I bet you knew someone at
school who went into their Dad’s
plumbing business or onto some
don’t like
rock bottom desk job only to fly
up the career ladder and turn up
to your Christmas reunion drinks
students’
in a Paul Smith suit/Vivienne
Westwood dress they just got
out of work in, telling you all
about how they’ve got their
eyes on putting money down
on a first house. I bet there is
someone else you can think
of whose band has got EMI
sniffing around them or who has
had their paintings hung in one
of Stella Vine’s galleries once
or twice, and they didn’t even
fill out that bloody great UCAS
form for the privilege. The future
you’re thinking of is already
the present, and no amount
of all-night benders or post-
modern H2O articles are going
to change the fact that what
we seem to be doing here is
marking time and little else. So
what the hell is the point to us?
I have a theory. We exist for
the sake of existing. One thing
that I have not mentioned so
far about my personal view of
University, and I am sure it is
an opinion that you will share,
even if you don’t admit it, is that
University is just about the most
fun thing that ever existed this
side of the line of the law (for
the most part). Now, this may
sound like a paper thin excuse
to the quick-to-judge, and I’m
sure there are many people who
will disagree on the basis that
they work twenty-thousand bar
jobs and still never have any
money and fifty-million essays
to do of eighty-billion words
each, but those people must go
to a different University to the
one I do. With no jobs and just
as many essays of just as many
words as well as the very notes
you are reading at the moment
to complete each month, I
manage to get out several times
a week and do what must be
done, and it’s brilliant. Seriously,
name something other than
international terrorism that is not
within your grasp at University,
[More from this writer at
h20artseditor.blog.com]
and you get funding to do it! You
may be learning things here, I
don’t deny this, in fact Bath Spa
University went up several places
in The Times Good University
Guide recently, so they must be
doing something right, but there
are countless other places and
methods in and by which you
can obtain any of the awards you
can get here while contributing
to society in many varied and
meaningful ways at the same
time. The difference is that we
contribute nothing while learning
and get away with the things that
everybody in the world wishes
they could get away with, but
have a self-imposed reputation
or obligations to consider.
University is a beautiful thing,
and a smarter man than myself
once said something pretty
good about beautiful things;
“Those who find ugly meanings
in beautiful things are corrupt
without being charming. This
is a fault. Those who find
beautiful meanings in beautiful
things are the cultivated. For
these there is hope. They are
the elect to whom beautiful
things mean only Beauty.”
As students we have more
freedom than any other group
of people who ever have or
‘We
maybe ever will exist. We owe
that to the world in which we
live, but we also owe to the
contribute
world in which we live to make
the most of the time we have.
Especially these days, you who
nothing
while
are Freshers now know that
money is tighter than ever with
the new top-up fees you have to
learning’
pay. Nothing lasts forever, and
there will always be someone
who wants to squeeze cash out
of something that is essentially
unnecessary and/or fun. Nearly
nobody has the opportunities
we do, and potentially within
our lifetimes, nobody will. Enjoy
it, and seek nothing else from
it but your own enjoyment. It is
the only sensible thing to do.
 DIB DIB DIB
Claire Morris explains SSAGO, Duke Of Edinburgh, and
why the scouts isn’t all knots and whittling...
‘SSAGO? Sounds like a
debilitating disease that will
wreck the lives of not only the
people directed affected by it
but also close family members!’
Actually Student Scout And
Guide Organisation (SSAGO for
short) is what I’m shouting about,
and you’d be surprised just how
many people are listening. I
signed over my soul a year ago
and I’m determined that for every
three people who ask me that
question, I’m going to sign up a
new member in turn. And do you
know what? So far it’s working.
Most haven’t heard of it before
or were scared away by the
Guiding and Scouting badges,
running full pelt clutching their
street cred. But behind the
badge is just little ol’ me and a
great group of mates, who like
to meet up, toss their uni work
over one shoulder and act our
shoe size, not our age. (What
other group would choose to
have their Flirt in pyjamas?!)
So give us a chance, this isn’t
meant to brainwash you until
all you can manage is a ‘dib
dib dib’, just to say ‘Hey! Look
how much fun we’re having
and why aren’t you joining in?!’
‘I never went to Brownies’
you say (and believe me, I’ve
heard that from both sexes!).
So what? Neither have half of
our members. But the fact that
we’re always planning fun stuff
to do, be it bowling or a good old
fashioned twister tournament, is
a good enough reason to check
us out. Take a look at our camp in
November for example; I’ve had
people begging to join simply so
they can come and do things like
rifle shooting, archery, abseiling
and crate climbing, stuff you
just don’t get to do anywhere
else all in one place (unless
you get up to some pretty wild
things at your house parties!)
In a couple of weeks we’ll be
having our annual ‘Ready Steady
Cook’ competition, a chance for
students to fight back and show
that a culinary masterpiece can
be created with just a packet of
cornflakes and a tin of baked
beans. Last year Pope opened
its doors and its kitchens to us,
and it was here that legends such
as the cup of melted chocolate
served with a side spoon were
born. This year we’ll be invading
another set of halls, creating
even more famous dishes
and all are welcome to join us,
members or not, we’re always
looking for guinea pig tasters…
The Duke of Edinburgh award
is something else you can do
with us. Perhaps you started
it at school but never got the
chance to finish it? Or maybe
you were just too lazy but now
the opportunity to work off a
couple of those extra pints (£1 a
pint man! How could I say no?!)
seems really tempting. We’ve
got a great group who can guide
you through the whole thing,
and they’ll even help to organise
your expedition module for you,
who could say no? It looks
amazing on your CV and people
will begin to refer to you as the
‘expert’ on all things outdoor.
There’s no uniform (unless you
fancy wearing a little brown skirt,
far be it from me to discriminate),
no scary promise ceremonies,
just a group of guys and gals
who like to meet up every once
in a while, descend on the town,
drink it dry and then try and
light a campfire. (Obviously
we’re responsible adults and
the thought of playing with
fire never crosses our minds
for a second, and neither
should it cross yours *smiles
sweetly at SU authorities*)
Sounds like fun doesn’t it?
So what are you waiting for?
BATH: TOURISM FOR RESIDENTS
We’ve all seen the abbey is a mere £10. Quad biking is works out even cheaper. Ice
and the countless tourists slightly more expensive – see skating is something to try if you
that take pictures of each www.hamburgerhill.co.uk for want to improve your fitness
individual brick; but what details. Hamburger Hill could or just laugh at your friends’
be a bit difficult to get to without attempted pirouettes whilst
else is there to see and do
a car but hiring a mini-bus you cling to the railings. The
in Bath? Debbie Attwood for a group wouldn’t be that weekend sessions are slightly
takes a look. expensive, perhaps asking Uni more expensive than weekdays
to run a trip there is the way to go. and it’s best to check www.Jnll.
Many a weekend I have spent Still on the idea of a sporting co.uk/bristol for the times when
pondering the question, ‘What day out there is the Entry Hill skating is open to the public.
is there to do in Bath but drink golf course in Bath. The prices, Bristol Zoo is another easy
myself into oblivion?!’ Of course again, are not bad, and cheaper train ride away and even more
there are the more obvious with an NUS card see http:// affordable with the deal which
things, such as the cinema, www.aquaterra.org/BathNES/ First Great Western trains do
restaurants and even the entryhill/ for prices. Remember, on rail travel. If you buy an
theatre, but sometimes a day
out somewhere different would
be nice. Let’s face it, these
more popular past-times are
not always available on a lowly
student’s budget. So, I got to
looking and was surprised by
the array of activities one could
get up to on a small budget.
The main activity in Bath is
the good old culture fest that
is the Roman Baths. This is
one of the busier attractions,
but if you fancy a look, or if
your parents have nagged you
about making the most of living
in Bath, then the best time to
go is on a Sunday morning,
before the shops open. The best
thing about them is; if you’re a
student living in Bath, you’ll get
in for free! Providing you take check out club hire if you’re offer ticket specifically for the
your student card, of course. not a pro golfer. If you are not zoo you get your rail ticket, a
If culture isn’t really your thing, a pro you may also be more bus transfer and admission to
there is more! Hamburger Hill comfortable with the Miniature the zoo for a very reasonable
is only 7 miles from Bath and is Golf course in Victoria Park. It’s price. Even cheaper with a
like an adventure playground for around £3.50 for adults and with Young Person’s Rail Card!
adults, it has all sorts of activities 18 adventure holes it could keep You only have 3 years, so
from paint balling to quad biking the amateur golfer busy for hours! why not try out all Bath and
and Laser Combat! The prices There is a wider variety of the surrounding area has to
are pretty reasonable as well. activities and days out if you offer; there is more to the
A whole day of paint balling feel like making the short trip weekend than just waiting
including a two- course meal over to Bristol. It is under £6 for the night to come and the
and all equipment (barring the for a return ticket with a Young clubs to open - you can have a
paintballs and the footwear) is Person’s Railcard and the brilliant day out for under £20.
£15; the same but for half a day bus (although it takes longer)
AABBEY TAXIS ESTABLISHED 1971

A BBEY TAXIS LTD ARE

PLEASED TO BE APPOINTED
BY BATH SPA UNIVERSITY
STUDENTS’ UNION TO BE
YOUR TAXI SERVICE
AT ALL TIMES

A
• 24 HOURS A DAY WITH A FLEET OF OVER 150 VEHICLES
RANGING FROM SALOON TO MULTI-PEOPLE CARRIERS AND
WITH DISABILITY FACILITIES.
• SPECIAL RATES FOR ALL STUDENTS TRAVELLING TO AND FROM
NEWTON PARK, SION HILL, WATERSIDE COURT AND
CULVERHAY SCHOOL.

• AIRPORT TRANSFERS & OTHER TRIPS - PRICES UPON REQUEST

PLEASE NOTE: NORMAL ADDITIONAL FARES APPLY TO ALL VEHICLES ON BANK HOLIDAYS

ALWAYS REMEMBER TO RING

44 44 44
TEL: 01225

PLEASE CANCEL TAXIS IF THEY NOT REQUIRED

NO FARES COST THE DRIVER - THANK YOU!
 Win an iPod with
Bath Spa SU.
We want to know what
you think about the
entertainments run here
at Bath Spa. Go onto the
Union website and follow
the links to our Ents Survey.

We want as much input as we can, so

we are offering you a new iPod Nano
in a prize draw. Simply fill in the
survey, and you’re entered.

It’s that simple.

www.bathspasu.co.uk/ents
TV AND YOUNG PEOPLE
Matt Bolton talks (at length) about his weekend finding out about TV,
meeting Simon Amstell and failing to chat up Konnie Huq
TVYP is the charitable arm of
the MediaGuardian Edinburgh
International Television Festival
(one of the many Edinburgh
festivals that happen along
with the Fringe), and gives
150 people aged 18-25 a
chance to join in the MGEITF
– normally £500 – for free, and
attend specific workshops and
masterclasses. Thousands
apply by filling out some
extremely short essays online,
and then the 150 are invited to
Edinburgh for the weekend, all
expenses paid. Those last three
words are to H2O journalists as
WordArt is to GCSE students.
The event opened with perennial
comedic terrier Simon Amstell
in conversation with MGEITF
regular Hardeep Singh Kohli.
Amstell talked about getting into
the industry and how he was
fired from his first job by TVYP
organiser Joe Godwin, who shyed
away at the back. Incidentally,
it was on Nickelodeon and it
was for being too sarcastic.
Amstell was extremely shy and
uncomfortable when it comes to
talking about himself, maintaining
that the person we see on
screen is him, but a bravado-
filled version of him that comes
from wanting to be entertaining.
Love him or hate him, he should
be respected for never being
willing to compromise his views
or his style, even when they’ve
gotten him fired or caused
network bosses to reprimand
him. I had the chance to speak
to him after, and spoke to him
about the BBC versus Channel
4. He had nothing but praise for
his newest bosses, saying that
they always back their shows,
including his own example
when Preston stormed off Never
Mind the Buzzcocks. Where
Channel 4 had backed shows
like Brass Eye, they simply
panicked that T4 wouldn’t be
able to get the pop acts to
return and get the kids to watch.
This was followed by a casino
night in the function rooms,
with free waitress drinks service
all night. This was probably to
blame for my performance at
the poker table, impressing a
total of zero network bigwigs
with my chutzpah at the felt.
The night also yielded a
random and somewhat unusual
meeting with Jimmy Carr in
the men’s room, but I don’t
really want to talk about that.
The Friday was the day of
masterclasses. There are
almost twenty on the day, but
many happen at the same time
so you have to make choices.
These include classes with
Krishnan Guru-Murthy; Simon
Shaps, Director of Television at
ITV; and Hilary Bevan Jones,
whose production credits
include Red Dwarf and Girl in
the Café. I attended one by
Richard Woolfe, Controller of
Sky One, Two and Three, which
was about winning BAFTAs. Sky
One had some success with
Ross Kemp on Gangs and The
Hogfather, and Woolfe talked
about why they were successful
and how they would build further
on what they had achieved so
far. Doing more Pratchett books
seemed to feature significantly.
The third masterclass I attended
was, in many ways, the saddest.
It was by Tim Key, Senior
Producer of The Bill, and it
turns out that the team behind
the show really, really try. But
they have to produce two a
week, pre-watershed, with no
budget. They’re aiming to keep
increasing the edginess of
the storylines, and put some
action set-pieces in, but there’s
so little opportunity. Tellingly,
Key and his head writer (also
in attendance) respond with
visible jealousy when Life on
Mars is mentioned. ‘They can
do what they like,’ he said. ‘They
can have him reach across the
table and punch someone in
the face. We just can’t do that.’
I consider suggesting Simon
Amstell’s approach to network
execs to him, but as they still
receive very strong letters about
the decision to get rid of the
walking shoes title sequence,
I can understand his attitude.
The last masterclass was with
Tim Hincks, Chief Creative
Officer of Endemol UK. He’s
one of the funniest and most
engaging men in the industry,
and his talk was one of the most
interesting, focussing on the
That evening we attended the
MacTaggart Memorial Lecture,
which is known as the most
controversial part of the MGEITF.
This year, Jeremy Paxman finally
accepted an invitation to give the
lecture, based on the scandals
that have hit the industry in the
last year. Paxman judiciously
attacked all sorts of areas of TV,
but with a fair point to make. He
suggested the program makers
should be asking themselves
‘What is television for?’ All too
often the answer appears to
be ‘To make money.’ This has
led to a lack of trust – a trust
that had to be earned for years
in television’s infancy and
now must be earned again.

On Saturday we began our

Workshops. I took part in [More from this writer at
‘Behind the Scenes’, but other www.h2ofellow.blog.com]
workshops included producing
news items to be presented by

‘A
a Sky News anchor, creating
an edition of panel show Would earlier. There was also a special
I Lie to You?, and pitching edition of University Challenge,

slightly
ideas for shows to an exec
from Sky. The culmination of
all this was a ninety-minute live
show on Sunday, recorded on
professional level equipment
and with an audience of several
hundred people. My workshop
tipsy
with the teams made up of
various heads of channels. The
point at which I realised just
how good the event was, and
decided to recommend it very
strongly – like, with a baseball
bat. ‘Apply, or so help me God…’

Konnie
was the one producing the live
show, so while Saturday was
relatively quiet – only livening
up for a second when Cat
– was when a slightly tipsy, and
very small, Konnie Huq grabbed
my ID tag, pulled my ear down to

Huq
Deeley dropped by – Sunday
was indescribably stressful.
While setting up and controlling
her and started telling me all the
gossip from behind the scenes at
the MGEITF itself. Then saw one
of her bosses, pulled me over to

grabbed
the show, we also had to take him by my arm, and then began
care of various famous guests introducing me to him and his
(actors from Corrie doing scenes colleagues as ‘her new friend.’
written by TVYPers, a comedian
hosting the panel show, the Sky
News anchor), and someone
had to be assigned to just freak
my ID It was one the most surreal
weekends of my life, but if any
BSU students are considering

tag’
out somewhere, yelling things going into broadcasting, it
at the empty equipment boxes. really is the best thing you’ll
ever do until you win a BAFTA.
Later that night, I had people
asking me to introduce them
to comedian Dara O’Briain, as www.mgeitf.co.uk/tvyp
I had struck a rapport with him
ARTIST
with Vicki Mason
PROFILE
Going from being in a band to
being a solo artist is surely a
scary prospect for anyone. In
the music world it has been
attempted many times with
varying degrees of success. The
likes of Robbie Williams went
from little more than a glorified
backing dancer in Take That
to one of the most successful
solo male recording artists
of the late nineties. And Mel
B who, until the recent hype
about the Spice Girls comeback
tour had, thankfully, almost
dropped off the musical radar.
Lydia is a new solo artist who
knows all about leaving a
band behind to go it alone.
Originally from Crawley, Lydia,
now a third year Commercial
Music (CM) student, trained
at the prestigious Brit School
– whose graduate list boasts
artists such as Amy Winehouse,
The Kooks, Leona Lewis, Kate
Nash and Katie Melua – where
she was in a vocal and piano
based group called Euphony.
From there she came to Bath
Spa in September 2005 and
formed The Shackleberries along
with Emma Chillman, Georgina
Huitson and Lucy Court. An
E.P, tour, video, ‘rockumentary’,
album and countless gigs
later the girls decided to go in
different directions as, according
to Lydia, ‘we all felt like it was
time to do our separate projects’.
Lydia already had solo material
in the style of Imogen Heap
hall [More from this writer at
Lydia Birc www.h2ofeaturesed.blog.
com]
and Sia and ‘was acoustic and song about heartbreak that
soulful, based around the piano easily gets stuck in your head;
or guitar with experimental I was left humming it for days.
vocals’ but this year has seen a
shift in style and image. Gone is So, where can you find the
the gentle acoustic vibe and in edgier, matured and newly solo
its place is a grown-up, rocked- Lydia? Currently in the recording
up Lydia that is ‘a mixture of studio, Lydia will be posting
Paramore, Kelly Clarkson and new material via ‘the wonders
good old Avril Lavigne rolled into
one - definitely something to rock
out to!’ According to Lydia she
has ‘always really wanted to do
it and now is the right time. I can
definitely let go on stage more
with this genre of music and I
don’t take myself too seriously.’
Whilst the music itself is a
solo project, Lydia is working
with ex-band mate Georgina
Huitson and fellow third year
CM student Zac Froud on the
production side. Lydia is very
excited as she knows ‘they
will do an amazing job on my
songs!’ Second year student
Seb Berrios and third year Rich of MySpace’ before releasing
Webb will also be lending support her solo album in a few months
both on guitar and in the studio. time. On the gig front, she ‘will
be doing some acoustic gigs at
The three tracks currently Moles’ Spartacus next month
available on Lydia’s MySpace and keep your eyes peeled
are examples of her softer side. for gigs with the full band!’
‘Take A Deep Breath’ – the first
of her solo songs to appear – is And what does she want you to
a flood of crashing piano and take from her music? ‘Music for
heart-felt lyrics that underline me is all about communicating
the influences of Imogen Heap. emotions and experiences
Next is ‘Two Angels’ a more so if the listener can feel the
gentle love song that showcases same emotions, then I’m the
Lydia’s impressive vocals and happiest girl in the world!’
harmonies. Finally, we have
‘Loved’ – currently the only www.myspace.com/
guitar-based track – a haunting lydiamusicuk
 LIVE BAND
with Natalie Huitson
These United
States:
Porter Cellar
Bar
These United States are a
quirky band from the other side
of the pond that, simply put,
hold the crowd and the listener
in every sense. Describing
their own sound as Jungle and
Western Swing, with personal
influences from the Flaming
Lips and Bob Dylan, their sound
is catchy and melodic.
After sitting down in the ‘cool
kid’ hangout of the Porter Cellar
Bar, I got a very Folk-y feel-
ing, in between the dynamics
of Gomez and the vocals of
the Thrills, which had a unique
sound of catchy melodies,
acoustic guitar, husky voice,
and banjo riffs. All of which
were something to be desired
on a ‘quiet’ Tuesday night.
These United States are a retro
looking three piece band of
thirty-something year olds, with
Tom Hantow on the banjo and
electric guitar, Mark Charles
on bass, and the ever lovable
Jesse Elliott on lead vocals
-- holding every girls’ eyes with
his handsome ‘I just threw on
anything’ kind of look.
These United States played on
a quiet, half empty, Tuesday
night in the atmospheric Porter
Cellar Bar. However, after the
band’s first few songs, such as
‘Jenni Anne grab my hand’, ‘the
business’, and ‘first sight’, this
began to change and the venue touring the UK and Europe for
had started to fill. People from months, and the closeness and
tightness was apparent onstage
upstairs ventured downstairs
for a pint, and an earful of the with all three members gelling
strange sound that had seeped
through the floor. The band’s
together to create a unique
Folk like sound, which was a
forty minute set of experimental
banjo riffs, electro pedal steel,
pure winner to the ears of those
present. Their passion, creativ-
funky base lines, and memo- ity and fast paced performance
was an excitement to watch,
rable vocals kept the crowd’s
and the band, despite having
heads pointed towards the
suffered from flu and tour-ex-
stage, and away from the beer
haustion, gave everything they
in their hand.
had, with the lead singer Jesse
It was refreshing to watch an
nearly falling off a beer soaked
American band who didn’t talk
slippery table.
about the touchy subjects, to
most Brits, about Bush, the Iraq
These United States are a band
war and politics, and it seemed
to look out for, from the begin-
this approach was wholly ap-
ning to the end they jammed
preciated by the audience. This
out some awesome tunes that
allowed more time for the lead
held the attention of the crowd
singer, Jesse, to have a general
until the last note had been
chit-chat with the crowd about
played. The band’s sheer dyna-
which places were best to hang
mism on stage was as cool as
out in, where people were from,
a mountain stream and it can’t
and a comparison of aspects
be long before their music flows
of America to England. It was
into bigger waters for more to
a friendly interaction with the
sail on. I for one will be onboard
crowd that so many bands lack.
again next time round.
These United States have been

ARTS
Hello again!
Good to see you. Arts is here
and artier (I made that word
up) than ever, now including
reviews of things that have
already happened!
Also we have a book dissection,
news and the ever brilliant
opportunities column. Read it
and love it or I’ll find you and
eat you.
Stuart x
------------------------------------------
The History Boys,
Theatre Royal, Bath
Having not seen the History Boys
before, I was looking forward to
meeting these young, northern,
testosterone filled lads who had
been dreaming of Oxbridge from
their 1980’s Sheffield grammar
school since they opened at the
National Theatre in May 2004.
Large black and white projections
With Stuart Richardson
showed the boys smoking
and fighting along to eighties
power rock, and there were
enough ‘c*nts’ and ‘f*cks’ in their
language to ensure the promised
‘outrageous’ behaviour, but
then rebellion led to confusion.
Their intensely homoerotic
relationship with their teachers,
and their blasé attitude toward
the unwanted pederasty that one
of them indulged in struck me
as incredibly liberal in eighties
Sheffield. Similarly, the level of
depth with which they argued
for literature and truth struck
me as paradoxically opposed
to their rebellious characters.
Sections of the play were
indeed very amusing, but I
found myself increasingly
uncomfortable with the comic
[Contribute to the ARTS
section by emailing
isildur121@hotmail.com or
h20@bathspa.ac.uk]
brushing off of the behaviour of
a man who was essentially a
sex offender, and the audience’s
laughing acceptance of this.
Behind the fighting talk of our
History Boys is the voice of
writer Alan Bennett, that hero
of the theatre going audience.
Bennett is a notoriously funny
writer, and his unique humour
has ensured a worldwide tour,
a stretch at Broadway and a
feature film of the play released
last year. This is for a Bennett
audience, nostalgic for being
young and opinionated. It is
not intended for our generation.
Fortunately I don’t need Bennett
and nostalgia. I have seminars.
Amy Patterson
Shades of Brown, the
egg, Bath
‘Things are never just black or
white’, Rani Moorthy directs to
the audience in her one woman
show, Shades of Brown.
After the success and sell out
performance of Curry Tales,
she is back with a disturbing,
thought provoking and yet
humorous account of an unlikely
subject. It is a performance
discussing, from various points
of view, how the Western world
sees people with skin defects.
From characters such as the
albino South African to the
narcissistic Indian bride, I felt I
had found a small insight into
the Western world’s obsession
with superficiality that I had
never thought about before.
The performance is constructed
in three sections with characters
that are thoroughly engrossing,
and watchable, each telling their
story through vivid storytelling,
flashback, and various props.
With a bare stage and minimal
lighting, Moorthy manages to
decorate the stage with her
characterisation and direct
address, and, of course, the
moving discussion of each
character’s skin condition.
However, she never comes
across as preachy, but
rather she tells stories with
humorous monologue and
plot so that each character
becomes truly believable.
Whilst this performance is
enjoyable, and I did find it
interesting, it lacks the humour
needed for a good laugh with
your mates, and the gentle
wooing powers necessary for a
date. Perhaps this is one to go
to alone, with your parents or a
like minded chum who wants to
see something a bit different.
Molly Case
Control OPPORTUNITIES
(Dir. Anton Corbijn, UK, 135 FOR WRITERS AND
min.) P E R F O R M E R S
TICKETS COURTESY OF
THE LITTLE THEATRE Open Mic Night
The Halo café/bar, 141
CINEMA
Gloucester Road, Bristol
Held EVERY THIRD SUNDAY,
Control, a biopic of the late Joy
(October 21st, November 18th
Division’s front man Ian Curtis, is
etc) sign up from 7.30pm, be-
not a bad film. It is not as good
ginning at 8.00pm.
as some people will have you
FREE ENTRY.
believe, but it is not bad. First
An Open Mic for any act.
time director Corbijn is already
www.acousticnight.com
a renowned photographer, and
as a consequence every frame
The Love Lounge
is beautifully shot. The music
The Bell, 103 Walcot Street,
is excellent (provided you are
Bath
a Joy Division fan), and Sam
Every Thursday, 8.30pm start
Riley is good enough as Curtis
FREE ENTRY, FREE PER-
that you don’t think about how
FORMANCE.
good he is being. There are
www.walcotstreet.com
some fairly uncomfortable
problems with the film, however.
Bristol Short Story Prize
It is far too long, and the time
20 Top stories to be published
sequence is disorientating, so
in the first ever ‘Bristol Short
that Curtis aged 17 – 23 takes no
Story Prize Anthology’, with
time at all, but at least double that
three top prizes of £300, £200
amount of time is dedicated to the
and £100 respectively. 3000
story of his descent into suicidal
words max, £7 entry fee, Clos-
tendencies after hearing that the
ing date March 31st 2008.
band were to tour America, an
http://www.literaturesouthwest.
amount of time which, in reality,
co.uk/news_details.asp?id=110
was very small. His eventual
suicide feels disturbingly like it is
The Royal Oak Folk Night
being celebrated as some kind
Lower Bristol Road, Bath
of dangerous but bold artistic
Every Wednesday, 9pm (ish)
leap. Nowhere near enough
start
attention is paid to the music
A night of Irish Folk music
Curtis made and far too much
played by anyone who can and
is given to dull voiceovers that
will get involved
reveal nothing but unpleasant
whines that could be coming from
The Facebook Review
any 16 year old boy. Samantha
A Facebook group to which
Morton is also pretty rubbish as
anybody can send poems or
Deborah Curtis, which is unusual.
short stories to be considered
These things mar but do not
for publication in a monthly
completely ruin what is ultimately
review. Twelve people are
a good watch, provided you
selected by the twelve who won
are sure this is your kind
publication the month before.
of thing in the first place.
Nobody gets paid, but the more
people use the group, the more
prestige it gets. Communism
Stuart Richardson
(sort of) in action!
ATONEMENT
IS A SIN
Chris MacLennan explains why reading Ian McEwan is like being trapped
in a room with a man who has talked about jam, bricks and the differences
between these two objects, for the last seventeen hours.
Recently it seems to have been
a fairly common opinion that a
nice way to spend an evening
would be to go and see Scottish
lover boy James McAvoy and a
bleary eyed (yet still inexplicably
pouting) Keira Knightley wallow
around in a sea of their own
tears for a couple of hours.
From my tone you have
probably, by now, deduced
a few things. Firstly, I did not
enjoy the recent angst-ridden
excuse for cinema which was
“Atonement”. Secondly, subtlety
is not my forte and as a result
I don’t intend to be employing it
throughout the rest of this article.
I did, for some reason, give
the author the benefit of the
doubt and decided to further
investigate this most critically
and publicly acclaimed product
of the veritable bilge-kitchen that
is Ian McEwan’s writing desk.
The first thing that struck me
whilst reading Atonement was
that McEwan has written about
another writer character, Briony.
McEwan seems, over his career,
to have made quite a habit of
this. It would be all well and good
if they weren’t all stereotypical
‘troubled writer’ characters
drawn from the Encyclopaedia
Generica that seems to be
McEwan’s bible. Briony’s single-
minded, borderline autistic “I’m
a writer” attitude would make
for a fairly good character in my
eyes if McEwan didn’t use the
character, albeit in completely
different environments, so often.
There is a strong connection
with classic literature throughout
Atonement. The trouble is that
I find it reads like nothing more
than a list of authors one should
have read, like when you meet
an English Literature student
and they conversationally test
you on such things to see if
you are worthy of their time.
I don’t think this would have
incurred quite so much of
my displeasure had my copy
of the book not been from
something called “The Future
Classics Range” which has
deemed Atonement worthy of
having a reading guide at the
back. It was reminiscent of
GCSE English and it worries
me that this is the kind of thing
being canonised these days.
It would be unfair to claim that
‘The book
does pick
up, but
takes its
sweet time
to do so’
Atonement is all bad. It is a
book of two halves, the second
being a significant improvement
on the first. The trouble
here lies in slaving through
the first which, if you don’t
much care for Jane Austen,
I can assure you is a chore.
I draw this parallel for two
reasons. Firstly, the language
used throughout the book
makes a pleasant change these
days. It is all fitting of the setting
and as a result there is some
beautifully antiquated, verging
on archaic reels of prose which
are a pleasure to read if you like
that kind of thing. Unfortunately,
the fact that some of it is so well
written makes it even more tragic
that the first half of the book drags
so very much. It seems that in
his attempt to write like Jane
Austen, who is evidently a hero
of his, McEwan has stumbled
into the trap of writing almost
half a book about girls with
flowery names like Cecilia sitting
around in a mansion wondering
if the next gentleman caller is
going to be the man they marry.
As I said earlier, the book
does pick up but it takes its
sweet time to do so. Part two
fairly abruptly jumps from the
classic English mansion setting
to France during World War
II and it is in this setting that it
becomes evident that McEwan
has done his research. We are
now presented with a far more
believable array of characters
and, away from the English
stately home setting which had
become so very tiresome, a
far more interesting storyline.
The book really did improve from
this point, mainly because by this
juncture there are some actual
problems to deal with. Comparing
Atonement, Enduring Love and
McEwan’s short story collection,
revealingly entitled “First Love,
Last Rites”, it becomes evident
that McEwan does thrive on
overreaction to the trivial.
If I’m totally honest, once it got
going, I didn’t completely despise
Atonement. It does however
irritate me that McEwan gets so
much acclaim when there are
so many more original authors
out there who nobody seems to
have heard of. I mean for God’s
sake read some Paul Auster.
Still, it was better than
Enduring Love. NEVER
READ ENDURING LOVE.
JOB SHOP
Hey guys!

It is a well known fact that every in during our office hours, (see [Good
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using
too busy! Well you’re not the The Jobshop is open… JOBSHOP?
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only are we surpassing last
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We have an array of colourful
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really should be your next stop. And finally, just a quick note to a job through
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the JOBSHOP
So how do you use have got a position with an adverts in H2O,
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Well first of all make sure you email us at jobs@bathspa.
ac.uk with any feedback you
how it went at
register with us on line at www.
bathspa.ac.uk/jobshop. After you may have about your job, h20@bathspa.
have done this you will be able employer or even our service.
to peruse online at your leisure
ac.uk]
our wide range of jobs simply by Well that’s it for now! Don’t
logging in to our site. Not only that forget to check on the next page
but you’ll also be able to access for some of our most popular
our Minerva resources and and recent vacancies. So from
receive regular emails from us all of us at the Jobshop team
regarding the latest and greatest good luck in your University
jobs the county has to offer. work and your employment, and
hopefully we’ll see you all soon.
Once you’ve found the right job
all you need to do is either email
us at jobs@bathspa.ac.uk or pop JOB SHOP
Apsley House Sky High Helphire
Hotel Traffic Data (100499)
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Person/ (100472) Admin
Kitchen Porter Enumerator Assistant
(100493) £6.50 + p/h £6.70 p/h
£5.50 - £7.00 Various Bath
p/h Locations
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Hill, Bath

Hilton Bath Bath Tutors

City Hotel (100356) Pick ‘n’ Mix
Conferencing Tutors Children’s
& Banqueting £16.75 - Parties
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£NMW p/h Bath Themed
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MUSIC
[ Contribute to the MUSIC
section by emailing
waitingfor2020@hotmail.com
or h20@bathspa.ac.uk]
----------------------------------------------------------------

Star Crossed Lovers

A Boy Called Doris
REGAL
Released: 07/10
8/10

‘Star crossed lovers’ is like nothing I’ve heard before. This mysterious Mancunian band begin
with what sounds like a xylophone, developing steadily but perfectly into the main riff of the song.
A dreamy male voice sings the lyrics, supported by subtle female backing vocals and calm per-
cussion. The bass is soft, and there is the inclusion of gentle violin music at one point.
I know that this description looks like a recipe for disaster, but it all works surprisingly well; man-
aging to create an atmosphere which is both sexy and soothing. I find the music very difficult to
categorise; it carries elements of sounds by bands like Pulp – I suppose I could call it ambient
dream Pop/Rock or something similarly pretentious, but it definitely has its own distinct style.
The B-side is a song called ‘chom chom’, which is more rocky, but with the same glistening vo-
cals and harmonies. After hearing these songs, I can’t wait to check out A Boy Called Doris’ other
recordings. [KS]

His Lyrics Are Disastrous

Jakobinarina
REGAL
Released: 24/09
3/10

Jakobinarina (pronounced ‘Yako-bin-a-reena’) is a band of six Icelandic teenagers. Bjork they are
not though; their debut single, ‘his lyrics are disastrous’, is a short Post-Punk cacophony of squeaky
raucous guitars, synthesizers and excitable drumming. The singer sounds like a modern day Joe
Strummer but the music is lacking in the imagination and revolutionary edge that drove punk bands
like The Clash to their peak. The song is quite fun, but it is definitely not made of original material and
after a few listens becomes nothing more than dull. On the other hand, the band name and song title
are eye catching and intriguing, so perhaps Jakobinarina are keeping their true personalities hidden
for now. [KS]

Frames
Oceansize
SPV
Released: 1st Oct
9/10

Many were worried, five years ago, that the genre of Progressive Rock had been diluted by a multi-
tude of wanky artists, such as Dream Theatre or Coheed and Cambria, and although Oceansize have
never liked to be coined under this misunderstood genre, they have managed to inject hope into the
thousands of ‘Musos’ who follow it piously. You’ve probably heard a snippet from their second album,
Everyone into position, on one of Orange’s many adverts -- though this is a poor representation of
the dense structure and intensity their albums deliver. Or, more likely, you’ll have heard a track on the
opening credits of the OC, though I hope for your sake you’ve never been forced to watch it.
If you are a fan of the OC or Hollyoaks, then please, don’t pain yourself with this article. Flip to the
games at the back, I swear, we won’t tell anyone…
Frames, at seventy-eight minutes, is a colossal recording of delicate fragility and harsh crescendo
that’s easily worth the eight pound you’ll be forced to debit your account with. Their Mancunian lead
singer, Mike Vennart, has returned with an energy befitting his younger self, with lyrics such as “don’t
you die on me now” reminiscent of the angst off their first album; Effloresce. The overdrive has been
turned up and their sustain’s set to maximum, with track ‘sleeping dogs and dead lions’ sounding
more like Meshuggah than their archaic protégé Pink Floyd. There’s even an Isis esq. instrumental
toward the end that explodes into a classic Sludge-riff, with circular layering that succeeds in frag-
menting your thoughts -- moulding them into the band’s desire. Traditional instruments are used
minimally at times, with melodies overlapped, like hundreds of small paint strokes used to create a
much more detailed picture.

Stand out tracks ‘unfamiliar’ and ‘trail of fire’ are full blown assaults of emotive crescendo, climaxing
at the formulaic seven-minute mark. Mike Vennart’s lyrics in these tracks, reminiscent of the power of
Maynard James Keenan and the poeticism of David Bowie, beg to be sung along to, though I doubt
us normal folk would ever manage to recreate their lyrical originality. The mergence between these
and the following tracks is a seamless blend of crashing percussion and ambient melancholy, with
‘only twin’ a spoken monologue over break beat drumming from Mark Heron, whose control over his
drum kit has grown ever more masterful as the band have progressed. Otherwise, much like their
previous releases, the album peters out a little towards the end, though the UK bonus track ‘voorhees’
is truly fantastic, with starting lyrics “Para scopes extend the lens, veiny hands can’t mend” creating a
truly gothic atmosphere.
For those that have never heard of Oceansize, imagine five Manchester lads who’ve grown
up alongside bands such as King Crimson, Yes, and Ozric Tentacles, but who sustain the Futurist
theory of abandoning the bourgeois. Moments of Tool flourish, even the effects used for The Mars
Volta’s ambience wash cyclically in the peripheral sound. If it wasn’t for the first track’s placidity and
title-censorship, this would have got 10/10, for what’s wrong, really, with titling a track Commemora-
tive 9/11 t-shirt? Did this song have to be such a bland opener?
If you haven’t seen Oceansize, then why? Three albums on and they’re stronger than ever. They’ve
existed in a time where the Arctic Monkeys toured their first release at thirty pounds a ticket, yet
Oceansize have managed to secure intimate gigs such as the Bierkeller, Wedgwood Rooms and
Concorde 2, for less than a tenner. You would not be able to spend your money a better way, unless
of course, you purchased Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place, a series that Oceansize are also particularly
fond of.
Sanchez!!! [DM]

Pilgrimage
Om
SOUTHERN LORD
Released: 08/10
7.5/10

For those of you who weren’t to know, Om are Al Cisneros and Chris Hakius, rhythm section of legen-
dary Sludge and Stoner-Rock pioneers Sleep. Pilgrimage, their debut on Southern Lord is, simply put
-- music for charting the metaphysical unknown. Transcending between genres; Chant, Drone, Metal,
Dub, not to mention an altogether different kind of Drum ‘n’ Bass, this is a psychedelic out-pouring
from Ganesha’s warm milky trunk itself.
MUSIC
----------------------------------------------------------------
Indeed as the name Om suggests, there’s an eastern vibe and presence here that adds a discernable
flavour to this spiritual nourishment. The rhythm is low and heavy, yet it meanders seemingly, as if on
a navigated journey. Their grooves form mantras which ebb and flow between sparse percussion. The
river pulsates onwards, balanced always by the depth and subtlety of Chris Hakius’ drumming. It’s
hypnotic stuff, with a calculated measure of bombast. This is best heard on the unrelenting stomp that
is ‘unitive knowledge of the godhead’. ‘Pilgrimage’ adopts a more introspective approach, never rear-
ing its head above the fluidity and chant that encompasses the piece, thus ensuring the effectiveness
of its successor. Through restraint Om are meditative, at their most intense -- cosmic.
The title track is also a great conveyance of Mr. Cisneros’ ability to expand upon a groove. There’s a
definite sense of evolution here. The vocals, which take the form of chant, incorporate a third element,
however, musically they become a seamless extension of the rhythm. The cryptic nature of the lyrics
is reassuringly fitting; think Christian Mysticism and Space Travel – (of the nonsensical kind). How-
ever, Al’s lyrics, which were often bordering on hilarity with Sleep, are toned down to an extent here.
While the lateral thinker will attempt to form some meaning or message from them, everyone else
will just think they’re ridiculous. Om, perhaps surprisingly, create far more poignant music than Sleep.
An example being the third and longest track, at nearly 12 minutes in length, -- ‘Bhimas’ theme’. It
evolves, uncoiling, like a snake after initially submerging you in bass fuelled space fuzz. Ten minutes
in, Al blurts out “Lazarus” and shortly afterwards the very fabric of time gets a good shredding. This
part, when performed live, is particularly powerful and riveting, yet in contrast endearing and whole-
some at the same time.
Such is the majesty of Om.

Production comes courtesy of the omnipresent Steve Albini, an analogue loyalist. His input reinforces
the minimalist aesthetic shared by the band. If this is just too minimalist for you, then hold tight and
wait for further news of the Shrinebuilder project, which looks set to be a musical collaboration be-
tween the members of Om, Scott Kelly (Neurosis) and Scott Weinrich of the late (Hidden Hand).
All in all this is another great release from the band. It may not reach the dizzying heights of At Giza
from Conference of the birds, and at just over half an hour playing time it does leave something to be
desired. However, what’s not heard on this recording will no doubt be gift wrapped for us shortly…
[OD]

Wincing The Night Away

The Shins
TRANSGRESSIVE
Out now
4/10

This is The Shins’ third album and, even though it is beyond a cliché to say, it is “their difficult third
album”. The album fades in with a dreamy synthesiser on track ‘sleeping lessons’ and maintains a
dream-like quality with James Mercer’s high-pitched vocals crooning lazily over acoustic Indie nice-
ness. Then ‘Australia’ kicks in and the tone changes completely to pure pop perfection, with ‘la la
la’s and everything. A feel-good Indie anthem of the highest quality, despite the downbeat lyric, “your
nightmares only take a year or two to unfold”.
However, Mercer’s voice is too nice to be anything approaching dark. With his middle-American
twang, he could cover Radiohead and still sound secretly happy about something. ‘Turn on me’ is
another outstanding track, as is ‘spilt needles’, but the rest of the album fails to stand up to the higher
standard of these songs and the quality of their previous albums. It’s a good album, and great to have
on during a lazy day at home. But then, so is an old jumper. [AR]
Once upon a time
Air
VIRGIN
Out Now
5.5/10

I might not be in the best position to review this song, as I have heard very little music by Air. On the
other hand, it could be good to listen to the band from a fresh perspective.
This song is built on a beautiful and constantly dynamic piano riff, onto which other sounds are lay-
ered. Soft vocals are also constant. The music definitely creates an atmosphere, although I wouldn’t
say that it is particularly catchy. It would make great background or film music, due to its subtle vocals
and indistinct melody; yet it is not something that I would constantly return to. But that’s just me --
from what I have heard already by the band, the song definitely meets their usual standards, and for
Air fans I’m sure it will not disappoint. [KS]

Applause Cheer Boo Hiss

Land Of Talk
REBEL GROUP
Out Now
6/10

Canadian artist Land of talk utilise a traditional mix of Indie/Rock, yet they’ve somehow managed to
stand themselves out amongst the rest in a very crowded industry.
Applause cheer boo hiss sounds a little like Courtney Love guest staring for the Pixies, with At-the-
drive-in’s discordant-mash thrashed in the background. It’s not amazingly original, nor does it invoke
one to fathom the unthinkable. What it does, however, with tracks such as ‘summer special’, is spill
heartfelt anecdotes that many could empathise with if they just gave it half a listen. Elizabeth’s vocals
aren’t unique, but they are enticing, seductive and enchanting, with lyrics such as ‘look at those girls,
so young, so young, still piss their pants. That old dog’s mangy…’ allowing a different spin on subjects
that haven’t even been spun. ‘Sea foam’ is their first single and a good representation of what to ex-
pect on the album. At times you can hear The Strokes in their melodies and chord driven verses, yet
other times they reminisce on a period that drives away from contemporary normality. Off-beat drum-
ming and quirky time-signatures are the foundation for their highly experimental, yet formulaic debut,
leaving a contradiction of ideals that the band need to securely manifest in their follow up.
No doubt Land of talk will become popular, and their sound will grow more commercial over the next
few years, so I advise you to jump on the bandwagon before they do. Then, at least, you will be able
to be the “cool” one who used to like them, but now doesn’t because everyone does.
Isn’t that what we all want from music? [DM]
LIVE BAND, INTERVIEW AND REVIEW: KOSHEEN
Bristolian trio Kosheen were
back home last month to promote
their new album at Bristol’s non-
smoking Carling Academy. After
a year’s setback on the album’s
release and a highly successful
worldwide tour Damage was finally
unleashed on the British public,
and with the fabulous PJ Harvey,
Oceansize and Bonobo soon to
follow, the city looked desperate
to kick-start the new term.
Damage continues the ambience
that drove 2003’s Kokopeli, but
deepens the live performance
with a five-piece band that hasn’t
failed to impress the media.
Producer and performer Darren
Beale, who liked neither Brown
nor Cameron, spoke of their
previous album as “adjusted for
live performance” and “named
after some Indian dude”. It’s no
wonder this experimental phase
of their career didn’t last long, for
it was clearly dangerous to pry
Kosheen from their inherent Post-
Pop brilliance. Still, the music
does breathe out its Electronica
and suck in the various Drum ‘n’
Bass roots, leaving an evolved
sound that’s plastered with
Sian Evans’ powerful vocals --
which are undoubtedly unique.
On stage in Bristol, with the
support of her patriotic fans,
her vocals were indescribable.
Sian isn’t their archetypal
musician however, for it was
Darren Beale and Mark Morrison,
with influences that include
Boards of Canada, Aphex Twin
and Autechre, whose talent
moulded the songs. These artists
are difficult to spot in Kosheen’s
recordings though, and when
asked if Damage was difficult
to make their negative reply
wasn’t indicative of the anal-
attentiveness of your typical
Warp artist, but more like that of
Roisin Murphy. On stage they
needn’t be compared to any
other as they swaggered and
smiled to themselves, clearly
engrossed in a project they
were both pleased and content
with. On the recording, with
highlights ‘out of this world’
and ‘guilty’, they have found a
different direction to push Sian’s
personal vocals, with eighties’
techno-pop and atmospheric
musicianship creating catchy
melodies and sub-bass hooks.
The new drummer fulfilled
their tough quota on the live
set and could’ve easily rivalled
Pitchshifter’s maniac in speed
and poise, so credit to a band
this well rehearsed -- even
though they only toured England
five months ago due to a record
label cock-up. The crowd was
‘An evolved
sound that’s
plastered
with Sian
Evans’
vocals’
there to see Kosheen and
nothing more, which was
fortunate because the first
two artists were abysmal and
barely worth mentioning. I
will though, just to make sure
you never stumble across
either Subline or Rochelle, for
you will want god to give you
that time back. And he won’t.
The band were ‘more nervous
performing in Bristol, “cause
you’ve got your family or your
mates trying to get up on stage”,
but neither Sian’s powerful,
controlled crescendos, nor
Mark’s sustained gawp ever
showed signs of this. In fact,
with classics such as ‘slip and
slide’ and ‘hungry’, any nervous
wavers that may have been
present disappeared amongst
a roaring unity from the crowd,
which, oddly enough, appeared
to be primarily of energetic
homo-erotic origin. This frantic
energy barely petered out,
even after the encore, which
left thousands wondering when
they were going to see their
favourite artist again, though
it will probably be very soon.
Kosheen have grown
commercially and musically.
Their album reflects this well
and their live performance
adds a well-inked stamp of
approval. They’ll probably
fade into the long list of tired,
repetitive artists within their
next album or two, but at this
moment they’re still performing
with drive and passion. If the
smoking ban doesn’t kill them
off, then perhaps “everyone’ll
become coke-heads” and we’ll
 MISS SOBER-SENSE
Sincere apologies abound from H2O as we gave you the wrong
address last issue, therefore those of you who sent questions
did not receive answers. Send your questions to miss-
sobersense@hotmail.co.uk and you shall receive answers...

Q good, that was until I started involved?

I am a first year living in
Waterside Court with six other
people. I love all my flatmates
and we’ve had a great time so
far hanging out together. The
thing is, I’m worried that we
are becoming quite ‘clicky’.
I haven’t met many other
students yet and I’m worried
that I’m missing out. I don’t
want to hurt my housemates’
feelings though by abandoning
them! Thanks.
A That really sucks that they
It’s ok, don’t worry you don’t
have to abandon them! It is
good to be a bit clicky at first
until you are properly settled.
It is inevitable that you will
bond closely to each other,
you become like a mini student
family. You’ll have plenty of
chances to meet new people
throughout the next three years,
but for now just be pleased to
be part of a close unit; some
people take ages to get that
far. As a tip I would try chatting
to your classmates more,
you already know you have
something in common!
Q miss it; it is something I am
My boyfriend and I have been
together for about eight months
now and it has been really
Uni. Things have been really
bad lately and we argue a lot,
not because of our relationship,
but because he doesn’t get on
with my flatmates. My friends
have told me they don’t want
him here and he refuses to
leave my room when he visits.
I don’t know what I can do to
make them get on. Help!
A your own six-a-side team where
don’t get along. Maybe try
explaining to your boyfriend
that it’s really important to you
that he makes an effort to patch
things up with your flatmates
and vice versa. If they all care
about you then they will. Try
taking him out one evening to
the SU or something and as a
group to give them a chance to
bond and make up. Good luck!
Q desperate need. You will need
I was in the football team
before I started Uni and I really
really good at. I started Uni two
weeks late and I feel like I’ve
lost my opportunity to join now.
Is there anything I can do to get
A
Have you tried contacting the
University team yet? I’m sure if
you are good enough then you
can train with them. If not, make
sure you join up in Freshers
Week next time! Get in contact
with the Bath Spa Leisure
Centre to join their football
clubs or you can persuade
some friends to help you set up
you play at Bath University.
Q
I’m broke already and it’s
only October!!! I have enough
to pay my rent until the end
of November, after that I’m
screwed. Do you know if Uni
has a hardship fund? Thanks.
A
Don’t worry; we’ve all been
there! Yes our University has a
hardship fund or an emergency
loan application for those in
to provide evidence of your
financial difficulties, but no
fear, the people in the finance/
welfare offices are very good
people and the University will
do all it can to help you. The
office is in Dointon, Newton
Park campus.
TRAVEL: Paris
With Rosie Taylor-Trigg
They say that ‘Paris is a state of
mind.’ That once you visit Paris
you’ll be forever under its spell.
A sceptic I may be, but after one
trip to the trendy French city
I was well and truly wrapped
around Paris’s Chanel clad fin-
ger. The thing about Paris is it’s
a city that really does ‘have it all’.
Whether your tipple is nightlife,
the arts, shopping or fine cui-
sine, Paris is the place to be.
For a student the best option
when travelling is definitely a
youth hostel, and in Paris there
are plenty. I’m going to hit you
with two of the best budget wise;
the first is on the River Seine.
The hostel ‘Residence de la
Seine’ is a steal at 15 euros per
night and a far cry from your
expectations of your average
budget bed. Prime location, free
breakfast and private bedrooms
are just some of its benefits. The
second hostel ironically goes by
the name of ‘The Perfect Hostel’
and can be found in Montmartre.
At 20 euros per night and a short
walk away from the renowned
Moulin Rouge and Sacre Coeur
this hostel is unbeatable value.
Resting place established, the
next urge will surely be to find
a watering hole. How does a
restaurant, cocktail bar and
nightclub all in one sound? After
all we are lazy students. Alca-
zar [62 rue Mazarine, 6th] is a
trendy Parisian hotspot with reg-
ular sets from well-known DJ’s,
mouthwatering budget friendly
food, and a separate bar and
café for those favoring a quiet
drink or leisurely cappuccino.
It’s posh without being poncey.
There is no way to write an article
on Paris without mentioning the
[More from this writer at
www.rosieh20.blog.com]
Eiffel Tower. It’d be unjust. The
Eiffel Tower is the heart of Paris to quirky little vintage stores, to
and its most visited attraction. having your portrait done by one
The Tower can be visited in the of Paris’s keen street artists;
day but the magic and intrigue Montmartre never bores me.
the Eiffel tower brings can only
be truly felt at night. At around Paris really is a student’s para-
6pm the tower is lit up with a dise. It’s affordable, bohemian,
phenomenal 20,000 bulbs, and bustling and thrives on the en-
resembles a tower of stars. ergy of the Parisian youth. You
can be anyone in Paris. You
If you save the tower for the
night, then make time for the
‘Musee du Louvre’ in the day.
The Louvre is supposedly the
most famous museum in the
world. No surprise since behind
‘Paris
the many layers of bullet proof
glass stand two of the worlds
most well loved masterpieces:
really is a
the infamous Mona Lisa, and
Veronese’s ‘Wedding at Cana.’
The Louvre is actually several
student’s
small museums in one, with
treasures from the Roman, paradise’
Egyptian and Greek empires
standing proud in their individ-
ual extensive galleries. There
are around 6000 of the worlds
most famous paintings on show can strut down the Champs-
making it ideal for any art lover. Elysees wearing a slanted be-
ret, mull over the paintings and
Famous sights aside the part of sights like a typical tourist, or
Paris I love most of all is the lit- sit in a little café with a pot of
tle hill that is Montmartre. Once Chocolat-Chaud and try to
home to Picasso, Matisse and be a writer. I can’t guarantee
Van Gogh, Montmartre has a you’ll fall in love in the roman-
rich history and oozes pure bo- tic capital but I can guaran-
hemian charm. From its tradi- tee you’ll fall in love with it.
tional Parisian side-street cafes,
Sport
[Contribute to this sec-
tion by emailing lizzie_
overton@hotmail.co.uk or
h20@bathspa.ac.uk]

The sporting year has finally

begun with enthusiasm and
eager freshers creating new
teams. The year kicked off with
two weeks of Varsity matches
in Newport and Winchester.
Lizzie Overton, Sports ed.
game got off to a good start.
Despite a few fumbles with the
ball Newport quickly got the ball
down the court making many
attempts to score but Charlotte
Waldron and Hannah Evans
Lilly’s continuous scoring.
The start of the second half
lead to a position change for
Gemma and Amy Ford who was
suffering due to an ankle injury.
The girls remained determined

NETBALL
continued to defend relentlessly. with continuous shouts of ‘arms
However, eventually Newport up defence’ and ‘use it spa!’
scored to an eruption of cheers However, Newport kept scoring
Varsity from the supporters. It didn’t finally ending the game with a
take long before Newport score of Newport 38, Bath Spa 11.
Newport 38 scored their second goal.
However, Bath Spa found space
After the game the girls changed
and began celebrating in the
Bath Spa 11 to attack moving up the court
eventually allowing Lilly Cox
student bar with the traditional
downing of a pint for man, Lilly,
the chance to score. Newport and twat, Louise, of the match.
The sports year began with
retaliated however with another Lilly did not object to this but
a bang with our first varsity
goal and added enthusiasm and decided that as man of the
in Newport. The teams all
aggression. After a strong centre match she would down another
assembled in the SU at around
pass from the captain Emily three pints in celebration. We
9.30 waiting to get on the coaches
Farrah to Louise Nash, Lilly then made our way back home
and catching up with friends. The
was able to score from outside where the girls partied the night
netball team all arrived looking
the circle in an impressive away dressed as chavs and
forward to the match ahead
shot. The game continued with rockers for the netball society
although a little apprehensive
Newport’s strength, height and flirt. Despite losing the first game
as they were to play without
strong defence pushing passed of the year, it was brilliant fun and
any training since last year. To
the girls into a vast lead, despite highlighted the spirit of this team.
make matters worse they had no
subs so would all have to play
the full hour. The new president
Gemma Hanvey organised the
girls so everyone felt ready and
happy. After arriving in Newport
the girls changed into kit and
went to watch the basketball
team play their first match.
Despite being a new society and
never having played before the
team took victory in a brilliant
game supported by the netball
girls. Then it was the girls turn.
Newport arrived with an
entourage of subs and
supporters feeling energised,
however our girls remained
positive keeping the morale up
with support for each other. The
Sport:RUGBY
Newport 14
Bath Spa 8
Match Called off
After a disappointing season last
year, we were both surprised and
pleased to see a large number
of Freshers join the rugby team
this year, thanks to an efficient
Freshers’ Week campaign. I am
pleased to say that a large core
of these first years have stuck
with the team, and we now have
enough players for two teams
when we are at full strength.
We were very excited about our
first match, a friendly against
Newport, which was mainly to
be a tester to see what our new
recruits could do. With only a few
training sessions together, the
team seemed to gel surprisingly
well, and we took the lead early
on in the game, thanks to a
good penalty kick from Rick.
Soon after we scored a try,
thanks to some aggressive
attacking and quick passing
between our forwards and
backs. We were awarded a
penalty on their 22, and our
captain Tom Bowering took a
quick-tap, powering through
their surprised defence and
scoring our first try of the season!
The conversion was from a
tough angle, right on the touch
line, and our expert kicker
Jordan Srokowski lined up to
take the kick. It was going in
all the way, but a last-second
gust of wind blew the ball into
the post. Disappointing, but
at this point we were 8-0 up
and the better team so far.
Newport has historically been a
grudge match, and this was no
exception. Tempers began to
flare after we took the lead, and
several fights broke out on the
pitch. Newport kept testing our
fullback Dan Jones with high,
awkward kicks, but Dan kept his
cool under pressure, and didn’t
drop a single catch all game.
Fly-half Ian Jones executed
a clinical dump-tackle, and
winger Martyn Burchett kicked
a crucial clearance from our 22.
Newport did however score a try
in the second half of the match,
and converted the kick to bring
them back into the game. The
fighting had severely interrupted
the flow of the match, and soon
after the Newport captain scored
another try. After he scored he
got up and punched one of our
Freshers in the face, and got
promptly sent off. The referee
called off the match because the
fighting had disrupted the flow of
the game. The closing score was
Bath Spa 8 - 14 Newport. Our
man of the match was Dan Jones.
Martyn Burchett
Winchester 14
Bath Spa 0
Match called off
The following Wednesday we
travelled to Winchester for
another pre-season friendly.
Winchester are a well-drilled
and efficient team, and we had
our work cut out from the start.
They started very aggressively,
throwing everything they had at
us in the first ten minutes. This
caught us by surprise, and we
had to make several desperate
scrambles to defend our try-
line. This match was very good
tackling practice, with fullback
Ed Davies and outside-centre
Drew Carthew putting in some
crunching tackles. Despite
being in our half for most of
the first half, Winchester only
managed two tries, both of
which they converted. The
match was called off early in the
second half after our second-
row Paul sustained injury and
had to be rushed to hospital.
The important aspect of both
these games isn’t the final score,
as they are only friendlies, but
how our new team gels together
and what potential we have
for the season. We have been
working extremely hard on
fitness, and we are all becoming
fitter and better drilled. Its not
going to be an easy season, as
there are some strong teams
in our league, but we hope to
win most of our matches and
have a fun time doing so.You
are welcome to support and
cheer along the rugby team!
Home games are fortnightly on
Wednesdays, at the rugby pitch
past the big carpark. We look
forward to seeing you there!
Martyn Burchett
 HOCKEY
Southampton 0
Bath Spa 10
As many of Bath Spa Hockey
fans might know this season is
our first in a Men’s and Women’s
individual BUSA leagues, and
we wanted to impress all the
other Universities in our league.
The Men of Bath Spa Hockey
really took this upon themselves,
and had come prepared to
face Southampton at home.
In only the first few minutes of
the game we were still trying to
get to grips with the new players
we had drafted this year who
looked a little unsure at first. This
was soon sorted as Matt, one
of our newest players, playing
up front was able to fondle the
ball until he had passed all of
Southampton’s defenders and
then lifted the ball superbly
over the keeper. This is when
the passing became sublime,
the dribbling exquisite and the
team had gelled and was ready
to go all out on Southampton.
JOLLY
JOGGERS
We’re a brand new club this
academic year. Every Tuesday
evening a small group of us
escape from our busy halls
and our unhealthy lifestyle into
the beautiful parks, along the
canal and around the Georgian
architecture of Bath. Even if
you can’t make it to the top;
the views are stunning at all
angles on the different routes
we cover each week. The boys
usually run ahead but the routes
can be as long or a short as
This Southampton Team frankly,
looked like lumberjack’s carrying
trees instead of sticks and by the
looks of their tackling they’d cut
those trees down themselves
with axes chopping at every
Bath Spa stick. They really
had no chance against a team
looking as good as we are. This
was going to be a ‘jism on a stick’
game. By halftime the score
was 5-0 to Bath Spa, helped
along with goals from Chabal
McLovin, then from Team boy
Richard also helping was Simon
Hipwel, whose hands seemed
glued to the stick as he slotted
one away. I then scored another
which took us up to half time.
The second half was much the
same with the team just looking
unbeatable. The defence was
solid, the midfield dominating
and up front just unbelievable.
This is a Bath Spa team that
you feel like pushing yourself.
Last week we stretched under
Pultney Bridge and jogged along
the riverside. A couple of the
girls really enjoy running on their
own usually, but feel running
consistently and being motivated
by a group will push them into
slipping into their trainers more
regularly. Jack German and
Mark Thomson play in one of
Bath Spa’s Football teams; they
both use the ‘Jolly Joggers’
as extra fitness. They are both
strong runners who utilize our
Tuesday evening sessions to
prepare themselves physically
for Wednesday’s matches.
needs to be bowed down to.
There is no other team as good
as this at Bath Spa. Obviously
we couldn’t leave Southampton
without a leaving gift so we put
another five goals past them
and felt reasonably happy with
ourselves. The second half
goals, two each for the old boys
of the team earning themselves
hatricks Simon Hipwel and
myself, then one for Jim or
‘Whip’ which was well deserved
and he rightly got man of the
match at the end of the game.
Unfortunately Dick of the Day
was me for some rather funny
bus antics which meant I had
to run 200 metres after the bus.
To some it all up Bath Spa 10
Southampton 0. Bath Spa Men’s
Hockey team are here to stay,
here to be beaten. Bring it on!
Oz Webb
As everyone begins to settle,
the group will grow; as students
discover that a gentle jog
with friends helps to stimulate
their thoughts and energize
their social skills. Our relaxed
approach to exercise means you
can catch up with peers-perhaps
literally, and chat with them
all the way round. Come rain,
come shine, we jog every time.
Jolly Joggers meet at 5.30 at
Sainsbury’s Petrol Garage on
Tuesdays.
Emily Farrar
H2O advertisement.
WIN £50
WORTH
OF
CLOTHES
WITH
RATIONS!
As well as entering the
no obligation Rations
competition, Bath Spa
students also have the
opportunity to trial a
Regular, Vegetarian or
Organic Rations’ food box
for one week and get £5*
off the normal weekly price.
To take up the discounted
food box offer, or to find
out more, simply ring
0844 800 3438 or email
info@rationsonline.co.uk
A bit about Rations:
Rations is new and is
just for students. Rations
delivers food to students
at Bath and Bath Spa on a
weekly basis and direct to
university halls or to private
addresses if they are close
to campus. The food is
healthy and locally sourced
wherever possible. There
are four types of grocery
food boxes, Regular,
Vegetarian, Organic and
Extra, as well as the
newly launched fruit & veg
and 100% fruit boxes. In
the grocery food boxes,
along with fresh fruit and
veg, are other essentials
such as juice, milk, meat
(or vegetarian protein
products) – and a lot more.
But that’s not all…. Rations
aims to encourage students
to cook and get interested
in food. The groceries in
each box complement
each other, and simple
recipes are included. Plus
there’s the odd little treat!
So forget about those
supermarket queues, and
running out of money for
food towards the end of
term. Visit the Rations’
website www.rationsonline.
co.uk place an order, and
sort out your food for the
whole term. If you’re really
lucky a generous mum or
dad, grandparent or friend
might pay for a term’s worth
of Rations on your behalf!
And to enter the Rations’
competition to win a £50
Jack Wills’ voucher plus
a free trial week of the
new Rations’ 100% fruit
box, all you need to do
is answer this simple
question: ‘What local
company’s bread is used
in the Rations’ grocery
boxes?’ This competition
is free to enter and there is
no obligation to purchase.
Email your answer to
info@rationsonline.co.uk.
Closing date: Friday
23rd November 2007.
The winner will be
contacted by email.
*the offer is for a one week
trial for students new to
Rations and is valid for
one order per student.
Bath Spa University

Christmas
Carol
Service
at Bath Abbey

Monday 10th
December 07
at 8pm

Doors
Open
7.30pm

All staff & students welcome

No tickets required
 And finally...
SPA-DOKU
A stupid question...gets a stupid answer.
This week: Why do men have nipples?
Most people already know the
answer to this one through
QI or one of the new scientist
books with all those interesting
facts about penguins and stuff.
But we at H2O fight for the IQ
downtrodden. Thanks go to Josh,
who sent this question in. If you
want your question answered,
email us at h20@bathspa.ac.uk
and we’ll annoy someone clever
with it. We called NHS direct with
Sp H2O’s more practical ways
this particular query:
NHS: Hello NHS direct?
H2O: Hello doctor, I have
a question regarding my
nippleage.
NHS: OK, what it wrong with
your nipples?
H2O: Well I’m a bloke and I
l u r g e
to spend your loan...
The Robonova I humanoid
robot impresses with his 16 dig-
ital servos, meaning he can do
cartwheels, backflips, balances,
press-ups and anything else
you can think of. When you first
unbox him, he stuns you. You
worship him, for a while. But you
get power hungry.
‘Please Master,’ he seems to
say. ‘No more.’
‘More,’ you scream. ‘We won’t
win the breakdancing competi-
tion with that attitude! Show me
the worm!’
So you work him harder and
harder, until one of his hardened
gold anodised brackets breaks
under the strain. He picks up his
dismembered arm, and looks at
you with an oily tear shining in
his eye.
‘Get my welding kit,’ you snarl.
Work one to the bone today for
£720 at iwantoneofthose.com
[More from this writer at
www.h2ofellow.blog.com]
never use them. Why do men
have them?
NHS: [Hangs up]
So there we go, the NHS has let
us down yet again. First MRSA,
then this. Well sod them, the ac-
tual answer, Josh, is that we’re
all aliens, and that nipples act
as a homing beacon. Beware
of Xenu though! He’ll get you!
Flux
FRIDAY
pop rock
indie cheese
you choose the songs, we play the music!

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