-_eooeoo Mary Ann Twitty - Court Wednesday, December 07, 2011 10:00 AM Sent: To: Richard Henke; Wiltam Mudd Subject: FW: Insensitive One Liners From: ‘Sent: Tuesvay, December 06, 2011 4:21 PM Lndisclosed-recipients ‘Subject: Insensitive One Liners "Insensitive One Liners" (now this is some funny stuff!) | was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair ... but, by turning to religion, | was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. | converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning! The wife suggested | get myself one of those penis enlargers, so | did .... she's 21 and her name is Lucy. ‘Went to the pub with my girfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary. Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick, It's great though. It provides me with everything | need - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot..." oa ~ Are there too many immigrants in Britain? = 17% said yes + 11% said No + 72% said "! am not understanding the question please." The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.Aman calls 911 and says, "I think my wife is dead" The operator says, "How do you know?" He says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!" | was explaining to my wife last night that, when you die, you get reincarnated - but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. | said, "You obviously haven't been listening." The police said to prepare for the worst. So, | had to go My husband has been missing a week now. down to Goodwill to get all of his clothes back. "ve heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented iPod after realizing that “ITouch Kids" is not a good product name. ‘There's a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping center, but they threw me out after | asked if | could look at some of the bomber jackets. ‘The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. | said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway. om— From: Wiliam J Mudd Se Tuesday, June 07, 2011 1:58 PM Tor ‘Mary Ann Twitty - Court Subject: My Dogs Subject: My DogsLast week I went to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare.” So | explained to her that my dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging clue who their Daddies are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care. So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My dogs get their first checks Friday. Damn, this is a great country!!Mary Ann Twitty - Court Friday, October 14, 2011 2:14 PM Willam Mud FW: Simply Beautful-carefull From: Sent: Fricay, Octover 14, 2011 12:00 Pr To: Mary Ann Twitty ~ Court ‘Subject: Fw: Simply Beautiful o> On Fri, 10/14/11, wrote: On Fri, 10/14/11, ‘Subject: Fw: Simply BeautifulDate; Friday, October 14, 2011, 9:49 AM cinesday, October 12, 2011 2:11 PM : FW: Simply Beautiful | MICHELLE OBAMA'S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION 11! 1‘No virus found in this incoming message. Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 6367 (20110810) “The message was checked by ESET Smart Security. http:/Awww.eset.comRichard Henke Friday, November 14, 2008 9:17 AM RE: tomorow? | did not see the email until after__called me and did not reply because | assumed —_ passed on to you that ! would Work. So instead | replied with something | heard yesterday about President elect, Obama. | realy think that some People fail to show the leader of our beloved country the proper respect that is deserving of such an honored position by indicating that we shouldn't worry about him being president very long because what black man holds a steady job for our yeers. Terrible, t's just temble.Mary Ann Twit Monday, May Court , 2011 10:00 AM Subject: FW: Sounds like a plant! From: Wiliam J Mudd ‘Sunday, May 01, 2011 1:06 PM To: {Mary Ann Twitty - Court Subject: Sounds like a pian!) ‘Subject: Fw: Fwd: Sounds like a plan!! A black woman in New Orleans was admitted into the hospital pregnancy termination. Two weeks later she received a check for $5,000. She phoned the hospital to ask who it was from. The hospital said, "Crimestoppers."‘Mary Ann Twitty - Court Tuesday, April 19, 2011 3:35 PM Wiliam Mudd; Richard Henke FW: Very Rare Photo From: Sent: Monday, April 18, 2011 8:32 PM To: sora ba “Twitty - Court; Subject: FW: Very Rare Photo --- On Mon, 4/18/11, From: Subject: FW: Very Rare Photo To: Date: Monday, April 18, 2011, 8:28 PM ~~ On Mon, 4/18/11,Subject: FW: Very Rare Photo To: Date: Monday, April 18, 2011, 5:51 PM ‘Subject: Very Rare Photo Some of these emails just touch me more than others. > wrote: Mary AnnRare photo of Ronald Reagan babysitting Barack Obama in early 1962From: ‘Mary Ann Twitty - Court Sent: Monday, March 01, 2010 4:08 PM To: Subject: EW: (8). Attachments: Attached dat (Child support This is GOODIN Mary Ann Twitty Ferguson Court Clerk 222 S. Florissant Ra. Ferguson Mo. 63135 ----Original Message-~ From: Sent: Monday, March 01, 2010 2:52 PM To: Undisclosed-Recipient:; ‘Subject: Fw: (B).......Child support. ‘Subject: FW: (B)..........Child support. To: Leroy's last Child Support PaymentMaintenance Lost Child Support Chequel!l Today be my baby gir! 18th birthdey T be so glad that dis be my last child support poyment! Month after month. year after year, all dose payments! So I call my baby girl, LeKeesha, to come to my house, and when she get here. I say. “Baby girl. I want you to take dis cheque over to yo momma house and tell her dis be the last cheque she ever be gettin’ from me, and T want you to come back and tell me the 'spression on yo mame face" So, my baby girl take the cheque over to her momma. I be anxious to hear what she say, and bout the ‘spression on her face. Baby girl walk through the door, I say, "Now what yo momma say ‘bout that?" She say to tell you that "you ain't my daddy”, and wateh the ‘spression on yo face"! Scroll Dowel! MHIA smile is contagious, poss it around.