You are on page 1of 609

\J"

VfJL

CONFESSIONS
"

OF

CREGAN,

CON
C^e

"Bll TBiafr
3|rtel)

BY

LEYER.

CHARLES

ILLUSTRATIONS

WITH

NEW
THE

ATHENAEUM

BY

YORK

SOCIETY

PHIZ.

PREFACE.

that

me

cent

full of
a

each

at

the

to

of

price

this

apply

dates

from, and

resource

as

born

friend

of

"

criticism

not

style ;

decline
me

I believe

but

making

was

another

that

made

that

there

The

"
"

in
that

care

name.

all to
to

appearance

disguise

to

blemishes

that

betray

the

fact

the

world

and

that
in

thus

would

"

would

publisher,

duplicity

the

natural

so

took

of

of

same

published

be

attempt

"

another

small

story

adopted

to

"

scores

most

this
the

that

appearing,

any

of

trusted

my

time

reproach

mannerisms

with

was

the

without

monthly

my

story, and

hope

my

them

him,

mention

now

myself

conscious

was

call

to

that

sure

was

may

story,

the

out

come

per

quiver

command

my

that

incur

to

ten

I knew

chemist,

over-writing

should

am

at

another

with

not

of

"

work

my

and

about

me

the

writing

added
his

as

when

case,

having

contemporaneously
Daltons

to

not

my

alternative

and

told

once

Curacoa.

own

my

he

family,

drugs,

than

to

daughter

the

his

to

his

cordial

costly

had

increase

acquaintance

my

daughters, Blackdraught,

more

To

of

apothecary

eminent

An

had

escape

undetected.
I
in
in

was

aware

running
some

an

opposition

degree

my

own

questionable

policy

writing

remarkable

more

to

was

coach
;

not

glut
for

the

certain
on

to

the
say

of

amount

line
that

public

with

peculiarity than

had

peril
made

might

it
a

kind

be
of

perfection.

vi

PREFACE.

I remember

that excellent

less Irish that he

"bull,"

road
which

his

few

two

occurred

to him

veyance,

of

outward
his

that

show

of its

objectwith

popularizea
to

three passengers,
start

that

and

its

go

the idea

with

rival.

his

on

oppositioncon-

an

perfect secrecy,

success

ply
sim-

and
travelling,

being a genuine

such

the

was

accustomed

was

he would

in

course

car

which

"

that to
then

at most

or

Bianconi, not

Lucca,

people were

dailytwo-horse

journey,with

at

tellingme

once

"

which

on

born

was

Irishman

every
effected

He

agents

own

were

wearied
of reporting,
completely taken in, and never
for his gratification,
all the shortcomingsand
disasters
of the
At

rival company.
length,and when

petitors
strugglebetween the comits height,one
of his drivers rushed
his office one
day, crying out, " Give a

at

was

into
frantically
crown-piece to
done
to-day."
"What

drink

honor's

your

health

for what

it, Larry?"

was

I killed

the

of the oppositioncar ; I
yallow mare
blown, and
passed her on the long hill,when she was
I bruk
her heart before she reached
the top."
"After this I gave up the opposition,"
said my friend ;
'
the old proverb says ; and
as
mocking was
catching,'
I thought that one
might carry a joke a little too
"

the

"

far."
I

had

this

it did

say

not

in this wise

I stood

to win

it

was

book

that

imagined I
; in

other
of

matter

took

thought

experience
impress me.

best with

better

it could

of
in

no

"

before

My

me,

and

puzzle

did not

not

however,

was,

on

care

I will

which

horse

words, I persuaded myself that

perfectindifference to
the public,and whether
The

Daltons

way

concern

"

or
me.

"

Con

me

which

the reader

Cregan,"

vii

PREFACE.

That
the

totallymisunderstood

before

case

notice

one

of

least three

at

former

four

or

was
"

a
Cregan
sadly deficient

so

averred, the work


humor

whose

Cregan," and while the


few
a
politeand measured
largely praised and
freely

was

this all.

The

critics discovered

freshness

and

in

The

"

less

Daltons."

It

they

was,

well-known

whose

indicated

author

of

of

one

portraits,
far

higher
Lorre-

Harry

"

in
were

practised writer, but

they were,

as

which

vigor

subtle, and

more

was

the

than

power

"

Con

"

with

of

sketched

roughly

of

latter

Con

now

Dal tons

The

"

am

dismissed

was

phrases, the
quoted. Nor
"

me,

myself,or misconceived
For
quite ready to own.
by the Press, there were

quer."
unknown

The
him

pronounced

was

"

for there

"

Lever, though there


;

for he

not

and

scenes

under

were

colleagues,uttered
to

his

of

traits
to

between

the

his

Mr.

found
two

friendly caution

laurels,for there

was

of Mr.
blance
resem-

conceptionof
logues,
his dia-

in

knowledge

which
had

guess

pointsof

story, and

critic,who

of resemblance

look

small

of his

conditions

One

claim.

lay no

imitator

an

clearlyoriginalin

was

there

be

to

to

attempt

no

certain

were

character, in his conduct


and

was

of life in

Lever
out

could

tures
fea-

more

writers

than

his

Mr.

Lever

to

to

rival in the

field

of the characteristics
he
by which
possessing many
scriptio
first won
public favor, but a racy drolleryin deall his own.
and a quaintness in his humor
It

the

was

time

to

amusement

collect these

of
sage

one

comments

judgments, and I
note-book, in which they were
with

from

their

time

laughter.

to

time

with

of my

no

remember

children
and

torment
a

pasted, and
small

droll

read

amusement

at

the
me

little
aloud
and

viii

PREFACE.

One
Our

11
"

The

he will be
A

44

"

decided

hit."

dialogue is

writer

Lever

able

an

his followers

and

Advertiser.

so

and

"

Irishman, "c."

an

dict
pre-

Irish writer.

much

so

we

Advertiser.

genuine compliment
be

to

"

Gazette.

hand, but

new

Hampshire

of

more

author

the

bespeaks

which

the pen

Bath

"

Cambridge Chronicle.

is

"

me

begins promisingly;

"

"

smartly written,

very

the

pay

'

acquainted."

us

before

now

Cambridge

"

stylewith

tale is from

This

Cregan

success."

made

unknown

Con

"

tale, in

new

have

of

writer

author

"

is

his first number


44

'

Cregan

even

has great stuff iu him."

novelist

new

Con

'

these I have

of

two

or

The

we

not
can-

that

"

it

Somerset

"

Gazette.
"

'

Con

writer must

The

"A

44

the

by

Belfast.

Whig,

Gazette.

Nottingham

"

builder."

unknown

an

didate
can-

new

"

This

is

first

part

is not

name

this work,

of

one

"

will not

disclosed
the

affect

attractive,"

most

Journal.

Oxford

"

Irishman."

an

author's

the

popularityof

"c.

Northern

"

is

"

Chronicle.

'That

the

be

author

unnamed

an

bark, launched

new

Cheltenham
4

by

"

popularity,""c.

for
"

'

Cregan

tale

new

by

which

of

the pen
is

of

Irish

able

some

writer,

Ten

only published."
"

Town

Messenger.
44

Another

had

Lorrequer'

poacher

in the

Cregan.'
44

"
"

'Con

candidate

new

better

the

Cregan' promises

Harry Lorrequer.'
The

to

popular fame,
his

person

laurels.
of

and

Harry
is

There

writer

the

of

Con

Yorkshireman.

"

44

look
in

manor

for

author

of

"

Con

to

become

great

as

fact

as

People'sJournal.
Cregan,' whoever

he

be, is

nary
ordi-

no

man."
"

Another

every

daring

promise

It may

of

sound

author

success."

very

excessivelyprovoked

has

Exeter

"

absurd
at

entered

the

to

the

lists,and

with

Post.

confess

it, but

superior success

I
of

was

the

iX

PREFACE.

unacknowledged book, and felt the rivalryto the full


written
line of
a
as
painfullyas though I had never
it that I thought well of one
it. Was
story and very
at
was
meanly of the other, and in consequence
angry
the

of

want

of

concurrence

I rather

imagine

to be

own.

critics ?

my

I felt hurt

not.

suspect

discoveringhow little
hold
I had, in my
on
a
public
acknowledged name,
with
whom
I fancied myself on
such
good terms ; and
with what
it pained me
little difficulty
to see
and
a new
could push for the place I had believed
a nameless
man
my

"

Daltons

The

"

morning ; I
nigh midnight ;
the

I have

turned

never

and

liked, and

to

mentioned,

after my
habit, in
Con
Cregan until

always wrote,

with
feelings

different
task

at

to

"

"

still remember

can

which

the

I addressed

widely

story which, in the absurd


associated

was

with

to the

myself

fashion

wounded

self-

love.
It is

scarcelynecessary
in this
plan whatever

no
"

Con

Cregan,"

adventures.

beget

shifts

would

come

silver

of

and

contrivances

should

associate
But
the

or

paper,
An

my

to

and
a

life

soon

see

there

was

was,

that

fail to

not

daily poverty
with

these

find

would

successes

a
daring. Meanwhile
ing
growwould
develop his character,

whether

spoil the

horn.

he
I ask

would

win

pardon

in

the
the

for

hero

with

the

word

amount

diamond,

of

manner

I used

same

and

that

notion

My

vicissitudes

humble

most

book.

say

created, would

once

ambition

spoon

to

me

The

knowledge
and

for

of

to
presuming for a moment
the great originalof Le Sage.
"

and
with
adjectively,
qualificationthat one employs to a

indeed,

"

as

Irish

have

read

it in

London

"Lord."

American

officer,of whom

saw

much

at

the

PREFACE.

guide to the interior of Mexico ; he had


in the Santa Fd expedition,was
been originally
man
a
of most
and
adventurous
a love of stirring
disposition,
that even
broken-down
incident and peril,
health and
a
failingconstitution could not subdue.
It was
often very difficult for me
to tear myself away
time,

was

from

my

his

of

scenes

Mexican

story ;

could

nor

sojourn amongst
commonplace events

all my

entreaties

descriptionsof placesand

those
for my

Indian
of my
him

confine

which

scenes

wild

to

I needed

characters.

own

The

his

experiences,

his

prairielife,or
keep to the more

tribes,and
own

and

Texan

after

saunter

that

generally along

valleyof

tea-time, with
little river

this

that

companion,

tumbles

through

Bagno di I^ucca,was the usual preparation


for my
it as
to
night's work ; and I came
and
dress, manner,
intenselypossessed by Mexico
as
landscape
though I had been drawing on the
recollection
of a former
journey.
mind
the two
So completely separated in my
were
I wrote
tales by the different parts of the day in which
the

the

"

"

them, that

after

mind

my

Cregan

"

life.
of

sketch
very

vivid
I

in my

of

small

The
"

head

of this

shipwreck,but

story as

to

it ;

which

nor

that

have

bore

"

I outlived

chagrinit cost me, though it is many


Cregan" was
acknowledged that "Con
of
Harry Lorrequer."
the

k'

Con

morning.

next

the

of

been

whole

taken

is in the

retain

once
a

very

this hour.

already owned
I wrote

trace

myself suffered

I
of

story have

realityin

crossed

ever

there

was

Anticosti," where

"

Daltons

breakfast

at my

bit of

one

recollection
have

The

"

nor
nightfall,

of the characters

None
from

character

no

grudge
the
a

by

to

the

memory
year

the

of

since

author

CONTENTS.

Chapter

Page

I.
II.

at

Another

III.

IV.

"

V.

Peep

Peep

First
HOW

Father

my

at

Step
I

Life's

on

Ladder

COLLEGE,
"High

at

Father

my

ENTERED

peep

19

AND

Low

and

HOW

"

LEFT

31

IT

Company"

40
...

VI.
VII.
VIII.

Views

"

Bold

Life

of

"A

X.

"The

XL
XII.

for

at

Dudley

in

World

the

"Killeen's"

at

New

56

and

Character

75

Broughton

Voyage

"Means
"A

Opening

an

Chop"

Glance
Sir

49

Stroke

Quiet

IX.

"

90

Out"

108

Meditations"

and

Glimpse

131

Opening

another

of

in

Life"

160
.

XIII.

Quebec

XIV.

How

169

"Fell

Widow
XV.

In"

"the

with

"

Davis

180

Emigrant's

An

"Out"

and

First

Step

"

On

Shore

"

202
.

XVI.
XVII.

Night

"Scene"
St.

XVIII.

The

"

in

Lower

"

the

"My

and

Lawrence

Town

"

214

Lucubrations

on

XX.

"

On

225

Ordinary

The

Board
Log-Hut

the

"

of

all

Nations

"
....

XIX.

of

the

at

'

Brazos

Christobal

'"....

241

268

290

PEEP

HEN

shall

we

FATHER.

MY

AT

better

become

have

quainted,
ac-

worthy reader, there will


little necessityfor my insisting upon
of
fact which, at this early stage
it requisite to
intimacy, I deem
my

be
a
our

mention

namely,

that

native

my

bashfulness

and

modesty

to
only second
veracity, and that while the latter
my
stress
occasional
to lay an
compels me
quality in a manner
and
so
own
goodness of heart, generosity, candor,
upon
my
I
introduced
the
have, notwithstanding, never
forth,
subject
are

dent
only a sensitive and diffisuffer or comprehend.
nature
not another
There
can
now,
of preface or apology !

without

word
I

pang,

born

was

in

King's County.
beside
every

county

ten

years

i.

It stood

or

so,

for
"

one

on

they

; there

side

as

as

pang

; and

belonged

we

little cabin

cross-road

arguments
VOL.

such

"

on
a

the

small

borders

triangularbit

although the
never

were

being just
for

the

of

place
able
the

other,

"

to
same
a

was

Meath
of

and

ground,
surveyed

to which
say
number
of

circumstance,

'

OF

CONFESSIONS

CREGAN.

CON

believed,that decided my father in his originalchoice


many
the "disputed boundary
of the residence; for while, under
question,"he paid no rates or county cess, he always made
seem
a point of voting at both
county elections ! This may
of a naturallyacute
habit ;
that my
to indicate
parent was
he became
the way
and indeed
possessed of the bit of ground
will confirm
that impression.
There
was
nobody of the rank of gentry in the parish,nor
"
low,
even
squireen ; the richest being a farmer, a snug old felone
always
Henry M'Cabe, that had two sons, who were
old
the
man's
have
which
themselves
to
was
fightingbetween
Peter, the elder,doing everythingto injureMat, and
money,
in paying off the obligation. At last
backward
Mat
never
bear no
he would
Mat, tired out in the struggle,resolved
He took leave of his father one
more.
night, and next day
"

"

'listed in the

Dublin, and

set off for

after, he sailed for India


to his

grief,took

that his death

Not

for months
and

be

"

overwhelmed

by

it after.

sudden, for he lingeredon


his will,
Peter always teasinghim to make
was

any way

dirtyspalpeen" that disgraced the


old Harry as
stoutly resisting,and declaring
between
be fairly divided
should
he owned

revenged

family,
that

long,

from

arose

never

weeks

Three

Buffs."

the old man,

; and

bed, and

"

but

whatever

on

"

the

them.
well
in the
known
them
were
disputes between
neighborhood. Few of the country people passing the house
These

it

house,
than

on

was

if it were

"

at each

other, and

he

dead

was

It
door

was

of

little snug

little after
cabin.

basket

frightened.
cry,

"Con

wondered

if the old

man

was

worse

if

"

a
our

weak, reedy voice,

"

not

"

the old man's

overheard

When
at last
deep, hoarse one, in altercation.
all was
still and
quiet in the
a
Sunday night
could be heard, no more
a word, not
a footstep,
the neighbors looked knowingly
uninhabited,

Peter's

and
"

had

night but

at

midnight

I heard
near

it

that

first,for

the fire ; but

knock

the

to.

repeated still louder, and then


the door!
Cregan ! Con, I say, open
It

to

sleep in
speak, for I was

I used

I did n't

came

was

Peter M'Cabe's
you." I knew the voice well ; it was
pretended to be fast asleep,and snored loudly. At

came

I want
; but

last my

PEEP

unbolted

father

Faix

"

Glory

"

About

from

an

do

man

is, for

he 's dead

!"

did it
said

ago,"

"

happen?

Peter, in

voice

that

father; for

my
said whatever

and

help it.

to

me

the company.
be worse
if we

Corny, I

now,

guineas

I bid ye.
You
know
that ye were
the image of my
father, and before he took
what

for each

He

"

always

was

it would

here 's five

; and

"

pleasing to

was

Peter; "but

Listen

he

even

could

in this business

me

the ould

! when

bad," said

n't

"
Oh, Mr.
say,
worse?"

him

Is

bad," says

It is

I heard

perceive was
greatly agitated.
ould haythen, Con, and never
made
a will !

politeman,
could

hour

corner

"That's

"

he

be his bed
an

my
like

died

matter?

the

that 's what

"

FATHER.

MY

door, and

the

Peter, what's

AT

help

want

ye to

in

goold, if

always
;ill
ye

ye
reckoned
taken
mis-

were

every day of the week."


"
Anan
! " said my father ; for he was
gettingfrightenedat
the notion, without
well knowing why.
"

other

Well, what

and

is,for ye

want

Not

"

By

beside
no

the

means,

"

corpse? said my
but by yourself;

be my
father, and
die ; and then I '11 send

that

house,

the

as

"

The

"

To

come

"

' '

and

himself

was

sure

bed

the

nigh

; and

ye '11
name."

only

ye

Scanlan

And

yer voice, it will


that did it."

be very dark," says my


it will,but have
fear !
no

to

will before

understand.

never

father.

must

room

be

that it

pretend

Billy
write, laving all

to

ye

"

but

're to

you

what

everything to me,
neighbors will see ye, and hear

be believed

with

father,trembling.

yer
for the neighbors, and

and

farm

the

will dare

Nobody

have

to

make

cross

the
yer pen under
And
the priest? said
"

My

father

dues, and
no

to the

over

to make

want

ye

ye '11 tell him

and

schoolmaster,

the

and

come

get into the bed."

"

to

to

lucky

to

said

Tom

Father

that 's

time

my father.
quarrelled with him last week

now

lose; it

he 'd not

Come

must

along
be

about

give

him

the Easter
the

'

quick, for

now,

all finished

before

rites,'
we

the

've

day

breaks."

My father did not


wrapped his big coat
left the house.

I sat

lose much
'round
up

time

at his

toilet,for he just

him, and slippingon

in the

basket

and

his

listened

brogues,
till they

CREGAN.

; and

then, in a
them, to watch

minutes

some

gone

were

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

costume

light as

as

of the
the course
parent's,set out after
be before
I thought to take a short cut, and
adventure.
I fell into
a
them ; but by bad luck
bog-hole, and only
I
As
when
it was,
by a chance.
escaped being drowned
the house, the performance had
reached
already begun.
my

I think

I sat

as

one,

and

one

end

on

the

see

which

this instant

scene

with

little window

surveyed
of

whole

one

pane,
It was

proceeding.

the
was

another
of

manner

and
teacups ;
spoons,
which
sat
Billy
table, at

writing

my

that

eyes,
broken

large room,

it

at

table, with

little farther

Scanlan, with
The

him.

before

materials

and

beside

bed, and

and
physic-bottles,
was

before

off

all

country
walls, all

the
three, deep round
people sat two, sometimes
self
Peter himintentlyeager and anxious for the coming event.
his grief,
from
went
place to place, trying to smother
to whiskey, which
and
occasionally helping the company
accustomed
than
liberality.
was
supplied with more
not
of the deceit and trickerycould
consciousness
All my
of a certain solemnity. The misty distance
deprive the scene
of the half-lightedroom
; the highly wrought expression of
more
the country people'sfaces, never
intenselyexcited than
ings,
of this kind ; the low, deep-drawn breathmoment
at some
the tribute of
unbroken
save
by a sigh or a sob,
"

affectionate

to

sorrow

some

lost

friend, whose

was

memory
all
it,were

real
so
forciblybrought back ; these, I repeat
and
stole over
of awe
sense
me,
that, as I looked, a thrilling
with fear.
I actuallyshook
the bed
where
the dark
corner
A low, faint cough, from
to cause
then, in a
even
a deeper stillness ; and
stood, seemed
have been
the buzzing of a fly would
heard,
silence where
I want
to make
father said, "Where's
Billy Scanlan?
my

thus

will !

my
"

and

"

's here, father !

He

leading him

"Write
a

long

now

the

I bid

afore

me

said

Peter, taking Billy by the hand

bedside.
ye, Billy,and
here.
I die

O'Rafferty won't give


general chorus of muttered
heard through the room
;

Father
A

time

what

to

"

the

me
"

but

quick; for I hav'n't


good Catholic, though

be

Oh

'

rites

'

! musha,

whether

in

"

musha

!"

grief over

was

the

fate of the

sad

priest,is

hard

dying

better

or

son,

bequeath

of

unto
a

unto

my
decenter

took

refreshed

by

very
it.

what

it is the

you
to be afraid

the truth, the

am,

house

"No,

acre,
me

in

of my

punch

the

jug."

two

farms

the

fallow

the

and

Here

right of

the

dying
considerably

seemed

limekiln; I leave

potato-gardens at

father's

got into

much

his

head, and

he;

says

him

that's

"

Noonan's

Well

says Peter, who

loquaciousness

Peter, my

son," says

"I

he;

he

for,to say

greatly

was

the

indeed, father; but

it's

jug.

getting wake;

am

Ah, Peter, Peter, you

"

; and

again a low
through the cabin.

the

chorus

taste

of

Well, I 'm nearly done

"

easy heart I do now,


Are
to ye here.
?
ye listening
Is Billy Scanlan
listening?
same

"

that
Are

is leavin'

you,"
compassionate pity

now," says my
little
of
only one
plot
ground remaining
to live a good
as
you, Peter,
ye wish
the

my
with

I, Billy Scanlan?"

was

the

two

and

down

good may it
and
the Luary field,with
the
that my
mouth
is just as

my lips again with


the drink !

says Peter
murmured
"

of

forge, and

give him,

just touch
watered

; the

ye have

at

whole

the

there

talk.

disposed to
"I

these

was

that

you

elegant fine crops grows there."


gettin'wake, father, darlin'?"

An't

began

!"

approve

never

Knocksheboora,

Where

"

"

the

all mankind

to

and

"

have

"

hearty pull,
"

"oh, I remember,
the
Peter, I mean
and

boy

reminds

that

taste

me

Peter,

son

Peter

son

my

limekiln; and
man

seemed

the company

Killimundoonery and
meadows
behind
Lynch's
turf on the Dooran
bog.
do him, Lanty Cassarn's
; let

neighbors and

all my

of

dry

unflinchingseverityof

expressions.

bequeath

FATHER.

the

or

man,

with

I die in peace
chorus
Another

"

MY

to say.

' '

charitable

AT

PEEP

father ; " there 's


I put it on
; and
man,

and

die with

ye mind
my last words
the neighbors listening
?

"

"Yes,

sir.

Yes, father.

We're

all

minding,"

chorused

the audience.
"

Well, then, it's my last will and testament, and


Give me
the jug." Here
he took a long drink.
over
that blessed liquor be poison to me
if I 'm not
may

may
"

as

"

And
eager

this

about

little

he

for

has

bard-working
think

of

Con

be

the

all

he

let his

to

room,

When

they

two

happy

many

the

for

wouldn't

Peter,

trembling

he

ever

's

"

be

well

satisfied

thus

we
as

back

to

another

father,

my

"Con,"

says

about

joke

my

the

it

sure

make

enough

betray

to

neighbors

the

all about

all

was

it !

"

me?"

says

enough
father,

my
he

gave

to

last

"the

"

against

go

low, wicked

yer

sentence

that

laugh,

fear.

Peter, holding

"

says
yer

with

became

Con's

"

I tell them

mean

says

father

mighty

day

here

this

Won't

with

bargain

and

sick

the

fright.

And

it ended

And

that.

n't

well, Con

Very

bargain

Peter,

into

away

was

he;

mean

with

shake

myself

made

be

would

spoke

; but
tone

corner.

that

sure

when

dying words,"

father's

in

says

to-morrow

ye

people

Peter,"
of

matter

"You

Sure

but

well;

lively

slipped

Peter

brogues

it was,

laugh hearty

to

and

now

cross."

the

course

joke,

his

on

it all

at

"Of

"

And

in peace.

all gone

were

did

ye
acres

"

that," says

saying

no

the

at

all the

die

father

putting

was
"

hurried

's

there

add,

to

terribly frightened

assuming,

was

man

going

was

now

was

he,

cross

"

What

who

any

blessed

Ah,

conscience.

health,

good

the

at

acres

lighter after

easy

for

"

returns

who

an

company's

the

two

yourself;

ye

seclorum.

heart

my

makes

work

good

I '11 drink

feel

the

as

him,

to

it

asks

Cre-

and

friend

have

he

seda

in

heirs

his

and

! but

saints

"a

Billy Scanlan?

it down,

Is

whenever

Con

honest
a

ye

then, I

say,

poor

as

Be

while

want

death-bed

my

Cregan

to

he;

on

is

knew.

hitn

I
to

and

charge,
ever

let

will.

my

cross-roads

the

at

as

man

of

part

heavy

never

me

trifle.

plot
a

dear;

Peter,

other

every

the

bequeath
gan;

as

CREGAN.

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

deep

the
Acre

legacy
owners

of

hand

his

fellow, that 's all !

slipped quietly
the

out

which,

home

over

he

left himself.

of

the

more

"

little

"

And
the

so

bog,

spot known

hereafter.

CONFESSIONS

were

erini.

in the

con.

marriagein high life,or

CEBGAN.

CON

OF

for rent, a
seizure
a
newspapers,
there he was,
pig in the pound,

"

explainingaway all difficultterms of law and jurisprudence;


and
that Tom
the postmaster,had
a difficulty
Cafferty,
many
in

attempted

vain

error," removed

solve

to

to

father's

my

by

was,

kind

for

court

"writ

of

of
and

explanation

decision.
That

he

of

town

is

similar

very

kind

Kilbeggan

of

need

his, that

to

authorityin
excite

not

precisely his kind,

of

men

became

soon

wield

with

and

any
talents

in the

influence

It is your talking,pushing, forward


confident
in what
they say, never

an

With

defeat,

It

surprise.
of

order

an

of

seeming

men,

acknowledging
the lead

in life.

ability,and ten times the average assurance,


average
merit
the goal that bashful
much
reach
never
even
so

they
as

confessing

nor

error

take

who

ing
neighbor-

great cities

the earth.

always

the

gets within
His

chief
where

sight of.

resort, however,
he

sat

from

first

the

Court

the

was

opening

of

Quarter
to

case

the

sions,
Seslast

judgment, watching with an intense interest all the vacillating


changes of the law's uncertainty,which unquestionably were
in any
way
in
that
presided
not

diminished

by

singular individual

the

justice. Simon
the bar, Snow
Ball,
seat

Ball,

of

or,

as

who

he

was

epithethe owed to
had
his white head and eyebrows,
qualifiedhimself for the
Bench
by improving upon the proverbialattribute of justice.
For
He was
but deaf.
not only blind
something like fortybetter

known

at

"

an

"

five years

he had

the

walked

hall of

the

empty bag, and a head scarcelymore


could
no
one
morning
why
guess
"

when

encumbered,
the

"

with

"Gazette"

an
one
nounced
an-

appointed him to the


a
promotion which
chairmanship of Westmeath,
all politicalanimosity by its
effect of confounding
that

vacant
had

Courts

Four

the Lord

had

Lieutenant

"

the

perfect unaccountableness.

nothing ever goes to loss. Bad


will make
tolerable vinegar ; spoiled hay is converted
very
into good manure
middling lawyer
; and
so, a very
into a very
respectable judge. Had the
drops down

It is
wine

often

law

of Nature

that

gods but acknowledged


he had
earlier,doubtless

Mr.

been

Ball's
an

abilities

exception

to

some

the

years

theory.

AT

PEEP

ANOTHER

FATHER.

MY

They waited, however, so long that both sight and hearing


It seemed
the promotion came.
to
in abeyance when
were
rally him, however, this act of recognition,although late.
It

was

corroboration

of

kind

prepared to
what
from
they

long life,and

very different
of self-esteem
the bump

Mansfields

the
of

hid

are

little of

that

contemporaries
Ball

with

cheap
he is
the

always

should

in

have

men

wit

of

show

in

led

to

for

fondness
him

to

by

looked

his fellows
in the

each

season

book

ventured

the

took

and
field

of

as

all

and

his

fetching an
of

respectfuluse of the
"your worship," he

of

some

not

were

my
that

to

parent's

My

it, had

attached

Ball

Mr.

if called

and

peal
ap-

his infirmities had

father.

appertaining

great

information.

and

of

my

as

usually put up at
gradually,by tendering little
; and
it rained, hastening
umbrella
when

reference

witness,

with

where

visit

but

what

peculiar nature

Hall,"

chairman

law,

upon

"

provinces. There

digression,if it

mere

little inn
of

services,as

high places.

in the

their

upon

storehouse

relation

law,

the

their

a dry joke or
sly
many
However
beside
his mouth.

compensation

the

and

intimate

an

want

its error,

spectacles he

held

have

regard

gentleman

for

which

by

world

the

of

dazzles, and

that

walk

silk and

wrinkles

be

alone

scarcely
may

exterior

rusting inside, just

green

the

may

not

the

the

to

gentlemen
"

that

questions of general knowledge

upon

for

in

and

up

sure

country

readers

clad

are

man

Blackstone,
I

No

was

Irish barrister," with

curled

sarcasm

unostentatious

cheering encouragement

frock

fine old

"

the

all

determined

was

smart

like

; and

thrills,are

that

pathos

Snow

for.

he

like

within

dusty garments

him

took

that

of

lawyers ; they live,and grow


die, always fancying that Holts, and Hales, and

old, and
their

world

the

show

he

self-estimate

the

of

for, searching

probably by
title

"

my
succeeded

most

lord," instead

an

portant
im-

frequent and
of

the humble

ingratiatinghimself
with the judge that, without
exactly occupying any precise
in
station, or having any regular employment, he became
sort

some

attache

to

My

father

"

so

recognized

the

lift" from

in

out

was

appendage,
of Kilbeggan.

court"
one

of

Fortune,

those
and

do

kind

who

of

"unpaid

usually ask only


requireto be continually

persons
not

10

aided
he

by

being

From

her.

succeeded

soon

CKEGAN.

the humble

attendant

details of the

the

on

being his privy councillor

to

little secret

hundred

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

supplying a

neighborhood

judge,

its local

and

usuallygave Mr. Ball's decisions on the bench


edge
full were
so
air approachinginspiration,
they of a knowlan
confidence
of individual life. As
ripened, my father
was
employed in reading out to the judge of an evening the
laid, and
various
depositions of witnesses, the informations
opportunitiesfrom which he did not
the affidavits sworn,
neglect to derive the full advantage; for while he usually
with a running commentary
accompanied the written document
failings,which

"

of

great

powerful influence

of the

the fortunes

that he

known
off than

with
him.

My

father's

prudence
Without

circumstances.

matter,
wreck

he knew
of most

it is often

by

and
to

necessary

incapacity. To
possessed,the humbler
and

share

like power,
than he ever

That

the stream

rocks,
! and

that it became

him

historical

any

instinct

well

in

these

trying

knowledge of
that pride was

the
the

power,

garb of apparent inefficiency

this end, the


did he affect

got credit

over

better

was

that, to wield real,substantial


assume

and

case,

soon

his side

desert

not

greater the

influence

he

disclaimingeverything
possessing a far greater

to be ;

for

reallyenjoyed.
of justicedid not

run

perfectly
pure

and

surprise; for how


quicksands, are there in the
father was
a
dangerous hand at

be a
not
may
and
shoals, and

clear, however,
many

he

did

the

he wielded

scenes

on

let the

to

country magistratesdisposed

of

species of

men,

the

Cregan

Bench

the whole

to favor

behind

Con

had

of

knowledge

; insomuch

cause

who

his

was

contrived

also

Ball, he

Mr.

to

own

feel how

suitor
what

his

matter

of

certainlymy
be owned, lost much
of its
the wheel.
Litigation,it must
"
What
vacillation.
The usual question about
was,
any case
That
Did Con
does Con
Cregan tell ye ye '11 win ?
say ?
!
decisive ; none
was
scepticalenough to ask for more
I was
At the feet of this Gamaliel
brought up ; nothing the
the " home
more
tenderly that a stepmother presided over
thirteen or
stout
a
boy, of some
department." As I was
and could read and
fourteen
at this period of my father's life,
write
constantly employed in making
tolerably well, I was

channel

"

ANOTHER

various

of

copies

AT

PEEP

used

papers

11

FATHER.

MY

Sessions.

the

at

here to
pause
their influence in

inclined, I might
psychologically
far

peculiar studies

these

whole

of

tenor

artifice did

did I habituate
evidence

as

my

lay

had

life ; what
very eventful
all these curious
up from

there

the

path

served

fact which
and

to open

once

before

amply

more

at

inquire how
biassingthe
of

subtleties ; how

probabilities,

that; above

I with
the discovery that
was
gratified
rightand wrong, perfectlydistinct from

latent stores

balance

mind
to weigh and
my
inclined
to this side or

Were

all, how

existed

the moral

legal

ones,

"

of life far wider

me.

investigationto the reader's


I
following out ; nor would
acuteness, if he think it worth
allude to it save
it affords me
the opportunity,once
now
as
for all,of explaining modes
of thinking and acting ;wbich
without
such
some
clue, as unfitting and
might seem,
reared
and
unseemly in one
brought up as I was.
"Whether
the new
dignity of his station had disposed him
I must,

it

to

in his

stern
rose

not,

or

feature

I cannot

The

its

of

far
my father became
exacting in his requirements

say ; but
and

manner

in life.

this

leave

however,

practiceof

law

the

seemed

peremptory character

own

to

impart

himself,

to

more
as

he

some

he

as

impressive
by
solemnity of a writ,
indeed, aiding the
phrases taken from the awful vocabulary of justice.
If my
was,
stepmother objected to anything the answer
"
she
next
Sessions;
traverse
in prox" at the
usually,
might
mus."
while to myself every order was
in the style of a "mandaissued

his orders

in

with all the

household

humble

our

effect

"

Not
became

so

satisfied with
enamoured

the

of the

terrors

mere

of the Bench,

to borrow

pursuitas

of

prison disciplinefor the conduct of


of his
thus, for the slightest infractions
No.
3 Penitentiary diet,
was
"put" upon
potatoes

vice

bread.

There

would

seem

in any form
in the
doubtless
in the smell
for

taste
and

freedom

the easy,

I was,

be

to

by

lifti
of

the

unbuttoned

I suppose

the

the

'

very

It

our

household

code

severe
"

ures
feat-

only reading

ence
something uncongenial to obediIrish peasant ; something
of an
turf.

was

He

architecture

libertyof
Ce

some

he

his

seems

of

to

his

imbibe

dwelling,

corduroys. Young

strong within

me

; and

as

the

12

""

CONFESSIONS

Times"

this

says, that

of the

"

not

penalty of
My sense
no

I had

"

who

resolved

and
the

"Judge"

between

it

hands

for

possiblewickedness,

given

me

invent

not

well

cold

and

great

either, but
mortal

offences

unknown

are

the

bruises

and

wounds

whether
that

are

familiar

that

had

but

debt

obligation been
commission
been

called

upon

proportional to
I

of
"

address
with

conceived
to

to

the

head

my

still
avow

unoccupied.

my

my
father

not

dwell

rebellion
in.

came
on

what

of

pay,

prize-ring,they
slave

the
not

was

words

"

fit to

"

pick
by leaving me

passion ; my
read

of

out

where

taste

"Othello"

for
nor

very clear and precisenotion


Had
the
and
pay it I would.

pecuniary character, and some


been in jurisdiction
it,I had
over
to

are

Even

states.

rupt
"bank-

my
enjoyed the

out,

in my ingenuity
indictment
could

no

the

to

be a very " human


Revenge must
it came
quite naturally. I had never

Zanga;

write

to

to

"

"

of

one

hours, revolving every

found

ignored by all jurisprudence out


that I
my stepmother confessed
and
she proved her
the gutter ;
I lay.

"

this

of my
injuries
say that the nature
criminal
that although my
statute, and

enough

to

length

night

to

sat

"

It is

I at

of papers

mass

to

me
Day broke,
I should
was
just meditating whether
openly, and " plead in mitigation,when
if I do
excuse
me
My reader must

followed.

and

cheerless

to

and

comprise.

the last

perceived, that
the

newspapers
embody in his

wondering

some

the

twelve

and

suffered

cast;"

"

remember
a

was

capital

ter
sittingbarris-

"

coming

that

me

revolted.

was

put pen

never

my

I could

for

might have

always

was

long article for

Bench.

had

father

January. My
copy,
which

sued,"

the

over

jurisdictionof

last

equity" at

formed

was

meditate

to

parent's infatuation.

my

resistance.

on

resolution

the

from

the law

matter

time

verilybelieve

of

less,

under

"

delinquencies. I felt

perhaps, fortunate

come

otherwise

the

It was,

do

cases

so

prosecution,

sentence.

CKEGAN.

for all

will account

not

invariablyvisited
Court;

CON

Indeed, that my father almost


with
the penalty of the case
me
then
fore
bethat while copying out at night the details

powerfully;
the

OF

doubtless

discharge it in a series of instalments


ever,
of life ; being a moral
debt, howmeans

privilegeof paying

it at

once,

and

in

PEEP

AT

I had

often

left

the

ANOTHER

I did

full ; which

house

the

behind
lived in

and

night

at

arose

thus

to

I discovered

here, by

that my

he

our

pig

dint

of

seemed

father

little

to

garden

and

an

ass

servation
patient ob-

occupation lay in

his

that

shed, in which

aforesaid

the

of

remarked

little shed, where

13

FATHER.

cabin, crossing

together ; and

harmony

MY

the

thatch

conceal

some

of value.

object

Thither

repaired,some

now

wished-for

that it

the

My

indeed

might afford me
disappointment was

bank-notes,

guineas,or

even

of

and

papers
bore such

thick

no

of vengeance.

means

great that no compact roll of


stocking close packed with

woollen

crown-pieces,met
parchment

prompting suggesting

secret

was

my hand.
all I could

bundle

heavy

find ; and

these

to the cause
of all
unhappy family resemblance
misfortunes
that I was
ready to tear them to pieces in
my
reflection suggested a better
second's
spite. A mere
very
There
certain
a
was
course.
attorney in Kilbeggan, one
Morissy, my father's bitterest enemy ; indeed, my parent's
an

in the Session

influence
without

client.

court

had

man

of

The

struggled against decisions


adviser

contrived

which

discovered

soon

skill went
for
in which
game
This gentleman's character

fittingagent of
after daybreak
consciousness
Mr.

Morissy's reception of

"Well,
about
he

injured

my

ye spawn

from

small

of

the

fragment

shaving, "what
sightof ye 's made

was

the

"I'm
hand

my
"

to

Assault

of his mouth

"Yes,
of the
"

sir,for

come,

my

to

be

valueless.

and

father,

my

myself

It

out

by
him

before

was

the

as

hour

an

in

all the

state.
me

was

not

gracious.

over

devil," said

he,

he

as

turned

looking-glass,before

of

brings ye here?
cut myself."

Bad

luck

advice, sir,"said

bit of

which
to

ye;

I, putting

hat in salutation.

and

battery!

where

sir; an

me

left him

and

nothing.
at once
pointed him

on
vengeance
did I present

of

and

precedents in vain
secret and
a
irresponsible
Morissy's knowledge and

law

beforehand, and

experience were

ruined

almost

"

the soap

said
had

he, with
been

aggravated case,"

shaved
said

grin on

the

side

away.

I, using the phrase

Sessions.

Why

don't

ye

apply

to yer

father?

He

's Crown

lawyer

or

CONKKSsiuns

he's

Attorney-General
i faith,

an.

Ami

""

"That's

after all, yen

hand

own

said

mark,"

and

and

ugly cut,

an

mighty

I, laughing.

the

near

But

eye!

Very true, sir; it's only paternal correction; but


!

grown
"It
hid

this,sir,"said

in the

said

boy?"

my

he; for

were

we

now

familiar.

very

is

I have

"

that, Con

W 'hat's

k*

sure,

his child."

re

something else

I,

doing?"

I is that hii

Vi's, sir; his

wt

he's

that in the present suit, sir," says


liis illustration;
the defendant
here."
"he's

np

What

'*

"

than

more

following
"

besides,

more

jury too."

and

judge

OBEQAUT.

ciiN

thatch,

"

safe

"

that I found
this roll of papers
place my father used to make his

I ;

strong-box."
"Let
the

see!"

us

package.

Many

were

and

quit withdrawn,

to

and opening
Morissy, sittingdown
old summonses
discharged,notices

said

so

; but

on

at

last

he

to two

came

pinned together,at sight of which he almost jumped


papers
"
the place you
his chair.
from
Con," says he, "describe
in."
them
found
I went
Did

"

all the

over

discoveryagain.

yourselfsee

ye

there?"

put in papers

father

your

did, sir."

"I
"

On

more

than

"

At

least

"

Did

ye

"

Never, sir !

occasion?

one

times, sir."

dozen

remark

ever

"

any
of the

none

putting papers there?"


through the
neighbors ever come
one

else

garden."
it

And

"

always

was

night, and

at

in secret, he used

to

repair there?"
"

Always

at

the tables
and

on

the

get your
are

ye

till we're

"

Is it

' (

"

that'll

old

strong

do, my

You

boy.

breakfast;

house

the

leave

night."

do, Con;

"That'll

be

go

may

very strong
than
Is it more

case
a

"

said I.

never

sir?
"

larceny,sir?

down

however,

sure,

father
to-day. Your
ready for him."
case,

You'll

son.

mustn't

flaw in it."
"

said I.

soon

turn

the kitchen

to

that

you
know

don't
where

16

CON

IONS

("F

CON

CUKGAN.

I haveamost

44

one

"

KKSS

importantfact to disclose to your worship,


which is of tiif highestimportanceto the due administration
of justice,
which, ifsuffered to lie in obscurity,
one
a
disgraceto t lie law, and a reproach to the learned
"

will be
Bench."
44

Mr.
44

Call the next

case,

Morissy."
Your
worship

may

commit

44

Tipstaff ! take that

44

When

when
44

you
know

you

Come

hear

of

that

Mr.

away,

crier," said

44Sit down,

judge.

; but

me

I will be

heard

"
"

into""

man

the

mandamus
of

case

from

the

King's Bench

compounding

Morissy;

felony

"

quiet, sir!"

come

"

"

said

the

police-sergeant.
44

What

were

saying of

ye

gettingfrightenedat the dreaded


1 was
saying this, sir," said
that I am
round ;
possessed of
Justice

heard

in

which
this

will make

court,

judge,

Morissy, turning fiercely


information

4 4

hear, and

said the

word.

44

to

"

mandamus?

which

the voice

which

fused
you rethe Chief

of

denies

now

its

ear

to

truth."
Conduct

yourself more
becomingly, sir,"said one of the
county magistrates, and open your case."
far more
submissive
to the gentry than
Morissy, who was
to the chairman, at once
repliedin his blandest tone :
Your
than
month
since I
more
a
worship, it is now
versus
M'Quade
appeared before you in the case of Noonan
and others,
of homicide
ther,
an
aggravated case
; I might go furand apply to it the most
awful term
the vocabulary of
that on that
justicecontains ! Your worship will remember
and
was
important case a document
missing,
very interesting
44

44

"

44

"

of such

character

actuallyto hang
confession
of the

that

the main

of

feature

his horse

the

who

took

the

in mind

bear

box,

denied

the

; his

all

case

that this

knowledge

Con

was

man,

of this

all the
Mr.

killed

deposition,was

following week

wrote

may

seemed

case

it. This was


less than
the
no
upon
of Noonan,
formally taken before a

Styles,and written with


peace, Mr.
the law
exacts.
to circumstances

regard
magistratewho

the

clerk

by

bed
death-

justice

accurate

Styles, the
fall from

vidual
being ill,the indi-

Cregan.

Your

when

called

dying

confession

worship

to the

witness

; asserted

ANOTHER

PEEP

what

down

in

writing were

and

unsatisfactorynotes

of

the

of

alluded

some

substance

of it

the

to

brief

some

advantage

often
Styles, who
confession, was
entirelyin
Mr.

being unimportant and vague

ill-written

and
illegible

very

as

simply

affray, all
that

swore

document

the

to

the whole

error,

and

M'Quades,

the

17

FATHER.

that

he

took

MY

AT

corroboratingwhich

notes

produced in court as the papers in question.


Noonan
being dead, and Mr. Stylesalso, the whole
the evidence
of Cregan ; and although, your
rested on
were

"

the

man's

for

character

veracitywas

case
ship,
wor-

of that nature

not

"
of his own
the persons
neighborhood to
among
"
out
Confine yourselfto the case, sir,"said the judge, "with"

of

introducing matter
I

"

in

am

triumphantly.

I hold

"

item

of

here

sealed

by
regularity.

report."

common

positionto prove

signed and
every

mere

in my
Mr.
I

assertion,"said Morissy,

my

hand

abstracted

the

engrossed with

Styles,and

have

more

ments,
docu-

memorandum

purporting to be a copy of a receipt for eighteen pounds ten


received
shillings,
by Cregan from Jos. M'Quade, the wages
of this crime ; and, if more
were
a
promissory
necessary,
of seven
for an additional
note from
sum
M'Quade
pounds,
at six months'

date.

These

I
the papers which
which
the evidence

are

in court;
this
prove
in vain before
back I tendered

to

minutes

and

you;

am

prepared
few

there," said

he, turning with a vindictive solemnity to where my father


the man
who,
was
standing, pale, but collected, "there's
I
arraign for
distinguishedby your worship'sconfidence, now

suppressionof this evidence, and the composition of a


felony!
If Mr.
Morissy was not perfectlycorrect in his law, there

the

"

still quite

enough to establish a charge of misdemeanor


for
against my father; and he was
accordingly committed
delivered
trial at the approaching assizes,while I was
over
to the
charge of a police-sergeant,to be in readiness when
be required.
my testimony should

was

The

downfall

of

dynasty

against the late

is

sure

ruler ; and

to evoke
now

my
the beam

days past could have tilted


overwhelmed
with
mere
pleasure,was
attack, but several weighty accusations
a

few

VOL.

i.

"

not

nation
recrimi-

severe

parent, who
of

justiceat his

merely

of crime

but

abuse

were

and

alleged

18

CONFESSIONS

him.

against

doe

the

with

and

in,

Not

For

contriver

the

one

of

these

so

complete

his

against

and

the

the

prosecuting

the

he

had

tilled

prime

was

of

scenes

attack

night

actor

insurrectionary
the

graver

for

unquestionable
of

exhibition

dispensed

parent,

that

interfered

he

that

with

country

criminals.

cases,

disliking

prosecutor,

but

buck

yean

with

and

discovered

of

many

for

jails

it

was

justice,

of,

which

was

and

of

course

disturbance
alarm

only

CllEGAN.

CON

OF

with

that

the

attendance

my

altogether,

obtained

charge

Crown
evidence

giving

son

dence
evi-

the

arms,

of

verdict

guilty.
The

sentence

of
life

was

promising

all
to

was

property
exile

my

beginning,

for

transportation
to

the

Crown.

father,

and

it must

be

life, with

Thus
leave
owned

first

my

myself

tion
confiscain

step

beggar,

"

FIRST

STEP

ON

is among

the

anomalies

as

they did,

of

obloquy

"

There

Irish

on

little
for

get

exaggeration

least

informer,"
for

' '
"

said
a

"

yer

of

share

honestly

for.

they,

as

passed

admirable

very

hanging

viction
con-

ment
punish-

considerable

"

hanging

his

judgment,

prepared

the

Kilbeggan rejoiced,

very
of

species

"

the

not

the

goes

downfall,

at

ever
how-

offender, few
to

If all

esteem.

me,

was

ye

and

father's

my

rested

did

what

of

at

that

confess,
"

in honor

held

noted

singular
that

be

may

instrumental

those
are

men

and

nature

our

pleased

LADDER.

strange

of

of

LIFE'S

father, Con

piece
?

"

said

one.

"Couldn't
shouted

He

"

had

then

This
alone
the

was

had

so

rid of

potatoes

'11 marry
the

hardest

I lost

raggedness

appearance
is

stepmother

whined

now,"

his

is ; he

'd be

we

's rich

eaten

chap

yer

to

voyage?"

say

another.

And

"

help

ye

all

of

out

lady

to

clothes

my

"

saved

au

old

fireside.

our

in

beggar-man
"He's

rich

third.
that

often

now,

the

"

bear

pretension

might have

forcibly termed

at

all," chimed

yez

of
to

and
me

all the

my
the
from

blood-money."

slights, for

father's

not

property, but

general misery of my
the reproach of what

20

CONFE88ION8

"Come

to

over

"Come

to

over

had

I could
some

I had

or

! and

none

taking my

wandered

towards

few, if any

off, where

wild

for

I want

between

that

where

every
not
; I could

home,

myself.

dreary tract lay alongside of the main


traversed by several footpaths,by
to Athlone, and was
"
accustomed
short
to make
the country people were
This

market,

to

way,

and

from

part of the road

one

and

I met

one

go

to

into the open


country,
about
miles
two
common,

like to be but

was

one,

side.

any

out

bleak

and

Rush;

from

o'clock, Con,
intervened

that

hours

so

course

six

I heard

stay in the town,


scoff against me

not

sneer

CREGAN.

evening," said Father

about

me

CON

of comfort

words

speak to you."
long
They were
six.

this

me

the only

they were

OF

passing through a bog, took

to

which
"

cuts

; for

winding

many

another

road

turn

the
the

as

ground necessitated.
ing
feelingof lonely desolation in wide far-stretchwell with the purposelessvacuity of
that accords
wastes
or
other, the very similitude
hopelessness; but, somehow
is

There

the

between

without

scene

within, establishes

kind

and

the

of

sense

desolation

companionship.

of

speaking like a true philosopherwhen he


I like this rocking of the battlements."

uttered

Lear

the

was

words,

"

I had

wandered
; and

common

horns

some

it

was

"

here

the decline

now

there"

and
of

when

day

the

upon
I saw

at

whose
man
figure of a young
dress and
bespoke condition, running along at
appearance
brisk pace, but evidentlylaboring under
a
great fatigue.
instant he saw
he halted, and cried out, "I say,
The
me
a

little distance

boy,

my

is that

"Yes,

sir."

"And

where

from

me

Kilbeggan yonder, where


is the

"

Yonder, sir,where

"

Have

"

you

the

Yes, sir,she

trees

went

the

spire?

"

are

standing."

the mail for Athlone? "


pass,
about half an hour
through the town

the coach

seen

see

Athlone?"

high-road to
the two

"

ago."
"Are

he, in

ye certain,boy? are ye
voice of great agitation.

of

sure

cried

this?"

quite sure, sir; they always change horses at


there
I saw
draw
them
public-house ; and
up

"lam

Moone's
more

quite

'

than

half

an

hour

since."

'

FIRST

1'

Is there

STEP

other

no

coach

night mail, sir,but


Saturday."

she

is to be

he

and
face

he

of

hand

his appearance.
tall and
stoutly

and

"I
some

above
find
"

the

in

his

lips

been

age ; his dress,


cut that affected

his

very

white

bespoke

eyes,

were

eyes
showed

taken

this

path

that

he

chaise

or

I have

by the advice
bog, expecting, as

of way.
have
been

late after

too

am

for

miles

him, for I

much

was

"

and

the

over

red, and

very

walk,

off several

cut

and

for

out

got

mistaken

hour,

an

of

it would

have

must

scan

of

uneducated

my

have

not

finger of

one

to

could

years

made

last, and

I had

countryman

he told me,
I

his

hid

well, and

find a
lad, I can
suppose,
my
kind in Kilbeggan ?
said he ;

lost the mail.


a

him

"

carriageof
of

knit, he

on

even

at

up

trembling

affected.

sorrow;

value.

looked

certain

mark

to

seventeen,

observed

considerable
He

at most

or

ring which,

time

had

shooting-jacket, was

fashion;

as

is

to-night;this

go

youth, in deep
he spoke, and

the

stone

not

"

of

sixteen,

kind

on

thus, I

sat

Although
above

does

said

for Dublin

his hands.

detail

every

himself

seated

between

As

done?"

21

LADDER.

this road

passes

"The

"What

LIFE'S

ON

all ; but

chaise, I shall be in time yet."


They 're all gone, sir," said I ; " and

I suppose

running
if I
still,

for
can

such

tidings

they're
And

"

Sixteen

"

And

"

Unless

how

"

lawyers
from

walk

it would

us

by

more,

or

it

up

to-day,

and

Kinnegad."

to

broke

I to have

am

"

the road."

get there?

I to

am

ye

"

"
"

take

dead

am

would

lose

me

beat

already; besides,

all chance

of

reaching

I want."

as

Smith

Andy
road

short

the

impossible.

the time
Dublin

miles

Sessions

The

far is that

how

"Walk!

tell.

with

away

1 '

to

sorry

has

by Hogan's

"Where

does

this

horse, if he'd

lend

it; and

there's

said

he, stopping

boreen."
Smith

live?"

me

impatiently.
"

Not

this."

half

mile

from

here ; you

can

see

the

house

from

23

OF

CONFESSIONS

Come

11

he; and

CON

CREGAN.

along, then, and show me


the gleam of hope seemed

the way,
to lend

boy," said
alacrityto his
my

movements.

Away

we

between

us

accompany
its owner,

together,and as we went, it was


arranged
that if Andy
would
hire out his mare,
I should
the rider as guide, and bring back the animal
to
the traveller proceeded on
while
his journey to
set

town.

tedious

negotiation was

The

would

n't appear

all ; he

at

enough; for, at first,Andy

thought it

was

process-server

suspicionprobably suggested by my presence,


it was
as
generallybelieved that a rag of my father's
had descended
It was
to me.
mantle
tious
only after a very cauand
careful scrutiny of the young
traveller through a
it was
n't a window
in the mud
small
wall
glass eye
after him,

was

"

"

he

that

treated

would
the

his baste ?
of
so

consent

to

proposal
if she

as

was

When

out.

come

indignantly.
dirty garraun

most

inn ; he

head

the

"

wondered

who

he

"Is
of

'd ask

did

he

so,

it he hire

Betty

Nowlan's

like ! "

the

out

ana

on.

The

youth,
the

deterred

scheme

this

by

at

but

once;

I, better

have

doned
aban-

acquainted with

knowing that his difficulties


gained,
were
only items in the intended
charge, higgled, and barand
bullied,and
blarneyed by turns ; and, after
of alternate joking and abusing
five and forty minutes
some
at last agreed on
each other, it was
that the " baste
to
was
"
of fifteen shillings,
be ceded
for the sum
two and sixpence
if his honor
was
more
pleased with the way she carried
the turnpike and
feed of oats
him ;
a
being also at the
charge of the rider, as well as all repairsof shoes incurred
Then
there
came
a
by loss or otherwise.
supplemental
of the animal.
clause as to the peculiarcare
How
she was
n't
such

characters

as

Andy,

reception,would

and

"

"

"

' '

let drink

to be

and
on

if
her

she
nose,

too

needed
or

much

at

once,

shoeing,
she'd

kick

she
the

for she 'd


was

to

forge

get the

have
to

colic ;

"

"twitch"

"smithereens."

precaution to be taken if the saddle required fresh


given, besides, not to touch her with the
girthing; a hint was
left heel, or she 'd certainlykick the rider with the hind log
The

of

same

the

same

side ; and,

as

last caution

given,

to

be

on

our

24
Bible slowness

knows

would

me

"You're

suddenly;
when

we

me

I 'm

one,"

time

think

to

the like ;

guiltyof

of

that

none
"

man
poor
broke
in the
a

half

above

the

none

him

gave

been

have

door, and

the

at

say it to
devilish tiresome
ever

here

"

n't be

I would

"

CREGAN.

CON

that

word

each

on

expedient.

an

OF

CONFESSIONS

nearer

"

youth,
ing
stand-

hour

an

departure

our

than

arrived."

we

bridle her, if he was


could
here," said
"Christy Moore
till
and
won't
be back
he's gone
to Moate,
Andy; "but
evening ; may be that would do?
signed
conA
impatient,and not very pious exclamation
very
"
Well, don't be angry,
Christy to an untimely fate.
a
thing a body
anyhow, sir," said Andy; "there's
many
See, now, I have
might think of, if they were n't startled.
"

this minute;

way

"There,

now,

quite a

give one

"

long-winded speeches !
it's enough to
you're angry again! sure
through-otherness,and not leave them time

is it? Confound

Well, what

"

too."

elegant fine way,

an

your

reflect."

to

his lips
plan!" said the young
man,
trembling with anger and impatience.
it is, then; let the
"Here
'gossoon,'" meaning me,
"

plan, your

Your

"

get up
sods

the

and

the roof

on

take

grass, till he
back
the mare's

of

down

on

never

stir head

off two

get through, and

can

he 's

; when

foot, and

nor

of the

three

or

he

once

steal

then

her, she 'It

on

slipthe

can

scraws,

bridle

quite asy."
The boy might
"

"

all ;
"

hunt

Wait,
once

Sure

"
be killed ; no, no, I '11 not suffer that
sir,"cried I, interrupting," it's not so hard, after

back, I defy her

her

on

that well;

sorra

Con," broke

in

I know
little

than

"

he thought
ready flattery
It
this

was

not

forlorn

hope, but

"There!

to

there,

under

performing the

first

backing

Andy;
that

of

with

me

and

the

me.

the

youth consented

scarf, I

and

hoisted

was

to

with

so,

on

volley of encouraging

in

cushla!"
act

rider in the Meath

better

deceive

like

me

"go

me."

to throw

yielded at last;

he

round

by Andy, and,
exhorted

would

reluctance

without

bridle fastened
roof

her

over

the

sions,
expres-

win."
cried

Andy,
piece with

as
a

he

saw

vigor

he

me

had

FIRST

never

calculated

drive

through.

off."

the

sods.

The

in

moved

limb

back, when

her

other

the

whose

gentleman,

the

and

ash

then

denly
sudgave

"

quicker,

timbers

smashed

the

and

dust

peared
ap-

beast

below, for she


stable, and
never

the

for

fears

had

fate

my

absorbed

every

thought.

"Are

boy, quite

safe, my

you

his way
the fallen rubbish.
over
"
Oh ! the devil fear him," cried

passion;
the

of

din, and

of

corner

when

me,

boldly up and passed the bridle


done, I had barely time to spring on
forced
door
was
by the young
open

This

head.

her

over

to
ye want
whole
roof

walked

as

the

wicked

the

one

carried

slowly,

by

crash,

terrified

have

trembling

stood

formed

funnel

the

light poles

first

at

went,

'11 take

have

mere

"

six

with a malicious
ure
pleasaway
old
miser's roof; nor
is it quite

might

rafters
I

of

earthen
to

zeal

my

down

kind

the

and

coach

25

LADDER.

ages! ye

I worked

was,

the

of

and
a

and

Tear

far

how
one

way,
into

'tis n't

"

LIFE'S

ON

destruction. of

in the
certain

on

truth

The

STEP

I wish

"

roof-sticks

And

Andy

it

see

"

"

amid

stood

to

bones

he

in

Andy,

cried, making
perfect rage of
instead

smashed,

was

of

Och, murther, only look at this."


the ruins, a most
comical
picture of
in part assumed.

and

in part real
affliction,

youth had advanced


encouraging word,

his

was

safe?"

my

Meanwhile

side, and, with

than

repaid

many
for all my

the

kind

and

danger.
'T is n't five pound will pay the damage," cried Andy,
of imaginary arithmetic.
running up on his fingers a sum
more

me

"

"

's the

Where

about

was

add,

to

old

saddle, you
I

know

not

"

What

"

; but

at

the young
look from

man
me

he

stopped short.
"Is
house

it abusin'
and

temper
"

Sure

was

you're for now,


destroying my premises ?
far from
sweetened
by

what

ye
Here

poor
my
step she '11 go

done,
was

of
irascibility

and

be

new

turn

both

mind

trained, as

in yer

mine

"

cried
the

would

late

wrecking my
Andy, whose
catastrophe.

get from

company

; pay

the

likes

the

ages
dam-

off."

affairs, and, judging from

of

parties, a

indeed, all my
a

beast

marcy

of ye ! sorry

afther

me

skill,
"

had

disastrous

most
all the

been

been

one;

the

it demanded,

practiseddexterityof
a subtlety,
by many

26

CONFESSIONS

effect

to
c:i"t

the OOSte

in

which

compromise,

shillings,and

CON

OF

I did

the damages

""!'all

thus

of

amount

be maintained

to

being

patron

my

the

to

originalcontract

the

CREGAN.

twenty
in all its

integrity.
The
had

time

mark

to

the

paid

man

young

the purse

that

weighty. M Are
voice of suppressed

we

in

wrath.

heart

mollified

was

journey, and
ride

her

The

"

the

over

in

When

"And

are

how

are

question ;

if

as

the
to

you

an

bog,

would

n't be

best

hack

that

joking

over,

whom,

for

to

new
me

to

on
"

to

me

whip, and
keep up,
a

laugh

Irish
an

ambled

ever

the

beast, don't
as

us,

My

of my

desire

father

which

he

to my

simplicityof

his foot

on

went,

we

miser

old

the

his native

day's journey

amusement,
he

we

up for lost time."


lad?"
asked
he, in

the

stories,at which

the skill with

my

at

in

fellow-traveller's

speak

make

Away
abusing, the

witness.

he,

Andy, whose
"A
pleasant

lost to

was

with

gossoon,
overmatch

sometimes

my
little traits and

cried

jog-trot, I running alongside.


below
the hill,yonder," said I

once

was

"

exhortation

the

"

and

stones,

"

but
it

drew

last?

at

right," answered
the sight of money.
of
good care
; take

surprise.
could
scarcely avoid

some

led

ye

give her

"

companion,

to

short

we

at

of

remainder

forth

set

safe

to go

he

all's

honor;

Yes, yer

speaking ;

which

from

free

far from

"

without

money

for

the

sometimes

Andy,

I told

of

various

laughed with a zest quite


to be entertainingthen

his many
could foment

and

curious

tures,
adven-

and
litigation,

it afterwards.
wily stratagems by which he sustained
I narrated
All the cunning devices of the process-server
with
of my
a
earlytraining: how, sometimes,
gusto that smacked
to the collar of a
append a summons
my crafty parent would
take it off and read
dog, and lie in wait till he saw the owner
it,and then, emerging from his concealment, cry out " sarved,"
take to his heels ; and
succeeded
and
again how he once
in
serving old Andy himself, by appearing as a beggar
and
begging him to lighta bit of paper to kindle
woman,
her pipe. The moment,
however, he took the bit of twisted
the

"

' '

the
paper,
yer sarved

assumed
:

that 's

screamed

beggar-woman
a

process,

my

man

"

The

out,
shock

"Andy,
almost

FIRST

took
dares

to

near

come

father

Your

"

him

LIFE'S

's not

there

life ; and

Andy's

ON

STEP

in

beggar

the

barony

since.

be well off, then, I

must

27

LADDER.

suppose," said my

companion.
ago, sir; but misfortune
I was
to go on, and
ashamed
since that."
on
us
that strange impulse so strong in the Irish peasant
He

"

was

anything of

weeks

few

which

character

feelings.
Very little pressing was

exciting
whole

down

to

needed

the

whither
the

on

yet I felt
to

narrate

by harrowing

and

"

the

recount

me

with

the

I met
ing
you going when
you this mornsaid my
in a voice of
fellow-traveller,

were

common

make

to

departure of my father
to transportation.

prisoners sentenced

"And

come

the

story,

other

interest

can

has

interest.

some

either

fortune, sir," was

seek

uTo

the

my
words

the

or

they

way
for he

my

brief

uttered

were

and

answer;

seemed

to

drew
short, and stared at
companion,
up
fortune!"
"Just
repeating the phrase, "Seek
me,
your
which
then
so," said I, warmed
by an enthusiasm
was
kindle
within
which
and
for many
a
beginning to
me,
long
in many
has
a
cheered
trying emergency,
year since, and
strike

sustained

and
a

my

path for every


'

"

But

"

me.

one,

what

morning," said my
"
And
you'd have
always thinking of
told

me,

things far

"

So

; the world

they 'd only

look

is wide, and

been

it."

for

of my

came

there 's

short

cut, this

time

enough too, if you had been


what
about, sir ; but as you
you were
began a thinking and a dreaming of twenty
you
knows
what good turn luck
Besides, who
away.

take, just at
may
least of it?"
"You're

if

so

taking
companion, laughing.

saw

you

Just

the

very

moment

when

quitea philosopher,Con,"

Father

Mahon

used

to

we

seem

to

have

said

he, smiling.
say, sir," said I, proudly,

realityhighly flattered at the reiteration of the


epithet.
Thus
chatting,we journeyed along, lightening the way
with talk, and making the hours
to me
the very
seem
pleaI had
in sightof the
santest
ever
passed. At last we came
steeple of Kinnegad, which lay in the plain before us, about
and

in

mile

distant.

28

CONFESSIONS

little town

The
The

mail

"up

sending
through

of
"

OF

Kinnegad

had

just

CBEOAN.

CON

all astir

was

down,

come

as

in the

it.

entered

we

main

street,

all its

directions,
flying in various
passengers
into
cow-houses
and
shop-windows ;
piggeries; some
"

being proudly perched

the

on

roof

of

cabin, and

others

lamentable
ignobly seated on a dunghill; the most
figure of all being an elderly gentleman, who, having cut a
forth cut
summerset
through an apothecary's window, came
small
takable
vials, and bearing on his person unmisby a hundred
most

tar-water
to assafcetevery odor, from
ida.
itself lay, like the Ark
The
after the
conveyance
Deluge, quietlyreposing on one side ; while animals male and

female,

evidence

of

"after

their

and

disconsolate

and

black

country
I

think

enough, Con," said

for,

of

bad

maimed

passengers,
proprietors, the
"

end

after

vehicles

of

thing

as

for

their

made,

that

demanded

; I at

and

the

greased

halt

and

various

the

that

man

the

loudly to

journey by

the town

The

over.

loudlyinveighingagainstall

he
"

as

got

that

man

and

drove,
of

is such

he, "there

well

as

soon

public conveyances,
the

in

as

good fortune ; and I


But the next question is,how
ward
to get forwith a broken
axle, the mail cannot
course,

proceed further."
The
difficultywas

that

rife

as

were

inn ;

the

coach."

being too late for


experience it now.

he

faces

Limping

into

in

the

n't missed

assisted

appropriating the calamity to a good


See, sir," I whispered to my companion, " you
such
bad
luck as yourago, that nobody had
self;
have
what
if
might
happened you, now,
you

said, a while

"True

within.

from

being

smashed

and

slow

"

purpose.

had

figures were

eyes
fair.
not

was

kind," issued

coach-

horsed,

wheels

be

of

forwarded

chaises

the

and

all
to

other

time

making use of my
legalknowledge
suggest that while doing so, they acted
"without
under
protest; that it was
prejudice" to any
future proceedings they might deem
fit to adopt for compensatory
If
some
damages.
laughed heartily at the source
same

to

from

which

the

hint

came,

chap," and insinuated


subscriptionof sixpences for

shrewd

others

said

something
my

was

about

benefit ; but

"devilish

joint-stock

the motion

was

FIRST

apparently unseconded, and


my species,I had to apply to
had
still,

or, safer

My

companion,

young
he

that

was

student

benefactors

many
conscience

my

who

for

now,

and

of

reward

my

pay myself.
in a few words,

Trinity College

at

29

LADDER.

like

so,

tillI could

wait

to

LIFE'S

ON

STEP

told

me

"reader

Remember,
honors," pulled out his purse to pay me.
of Henry
Lyndsay ; I 'm easily found, if
boy, the name
my
that I can
be of much
not
to Dublin,
to come
you chance
but I shall not
service to any
forget the service you
one,
this day.
rendered me
Here, take this,pay for the mare's
"

for

"

feeding, and
I would

she

when

him

suffer

not

rested

has

sir!

not

"You're
and

intend

to look
one

that

once,

climates

"

half to
than
"

"*
"

when

has

one

that his features


"

words.

And

to

of ?

sunshine, and
I intend

so

the kind
rather

to ramble

fellow

to

old book
in all

about

; and

stay

never

!"

on
though reflecting

as

you

found

apple,

succeed

do

"

an

is not

side of the

of

exhibited

where

fortune

the sunny
one."

on

himself, and

said

my

he,

words

addressing me.
So

intend, sir,"repliedI, confidently.

read
you ever
I have
it almost
by
's it !

That

taste

got your
lived

He

small

share

"As

"

said

was,
of

for age
are

'

Gil Bias,' Con?

he, laughing ; "I

times

"

heart, sir."

for adventure.

in different

land.

women

see

my

same

"Have
"

to

time ;

same

are

you

and

's

is like

off the green

And

and
'

fortune

my

footsteps
my
inn ; Andy comes
will find her safe.

the

you speak
sir!
I read in
in particular,

place
good luck

at the

to dine

market,

at

this

for

I breakfast

when

the

enough

astonishment

"No

mare

turn

never

in

in

nothing like beginning early."


strange fellow, Con," said he, looking at me;

shrewd

was

small

no

seek

I'll

the

anything, there

for

search

'

I must

for me,

As

proceed further, but broke

to

going back,
that way
again ! Leave
Saturday here for
every
"I'm

"
"

But

from

besides,
good looks

remember,

ours,

and

well-educated

and

whence

see

good

in

Con,

you 've
Gil Bias

very

different

fellow, with

no

manners."

and

and
country, sir," said I, boldly, "men
alike at all times, and in all places;
pretty much

in the old book

I told

you

of

while

ago,

I read

that human

30

varieties

of

and
another.
in

strong

'11

to

I
to

see

settled

won't

have

of

"

you

shall

Come,

my
and
on

slow
new
a

the

in

few
roof

with

his

on

my

the

packing
the

minutes

with

me

too,

"I'll

and

to

be

orders, and
luggage.

after

saw

way

to

me

Dublin

afford

shall

into

mare

up

take

College

in

implicit faith,

lead

obeying

master

very

mined
deter-

I cannot

although

and

stay

are

it

am

honor

your

can

way."

now,

companions

with

such

have

you.

and

it, I

replied he, laughing;

chaise

you

so

up,
feel

of

proof

give

my

the

which

not

assist

servant,

my

was

Dublin,

shall, Con!

in

to

and

thing,

great

tion
educa-

to

as

pick

can

infinite

only

are

Then,

man

one

the

now,

to

top

for

better

is

up

if

what

"

And

go

chance,

will

the

keep

for

The

you

on

you

rest,

see

So

"

the

face,

ingredients.

few

same

me.

to

you

the

the

of

features

the

like

passions,

CRF.GAN.

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

until

provide
stable,

the

gone."
returned

soon

All
seated

quickly

was
on

manteau
port-

32

OF

CONFES8ION8

slowly opened
We

us.

noiseless

Stood

in

church

us

CREGAN.

then

solemnly closed

receive, and

t""

n""\\

COM

spurious quadrangle, silent


midnight.

at

Lyndsay hastilydescended,
of the baggage, I followed
in some
furnished
beyond which was
room,
Mr.

"

accommodation.

me

"here

small

to

is

yours."

smile; "and

coals

against

with

shoe-brush

very

that

the

on

humble

opposite side,
kind

wall, and

one

carry

largescantily
bedchamber, of like

room

of

bed,

to

and

Con," said he, with a


ing
here," said he, Lead-

home,

windowed

one-

into

at

stretcher, placed against

holding

him

is my

orderingme

and

This

melancholy attempt

after

called

large

chest

for

the

other, a bottomless
chair, and a
the entire
scanty bristles,constituted

furniture.
fore
beluggage was removed
Mr.
Lyndsay could get rid of the postilion; like all
in a like predicament, he had
to
men
bargain and
poor
tion,
mortificaand
a
reason
remonstrate, submitting to many
and enduring many
a sore
ribaldry
pang, at the pitiless
which
knows
nothing so contemptible as poverty ; at last,
the presumption of people who
reflections on
after various
their vanity, self-conceit,
afford it, on
travel and
cannot
assured
and so forth, the fellow departed, with what
my ears
no
me
was
contemptible share of my poor master's purse.
ing
I was
sittingalone in my den during this scene, not wishto add
anything to his mortification ;
by my presence
It

was

some

and,

now

all

execute,

sound,

My

own

rain
all

out

noiseless,I waited

and

to

was

murmur,

heard.

of

the

the

without

death-like

but

silence

brightest:

little window,
; the
were

time

some

triflingservice

some

be

against
was

for

spoken to;

none

streamed

the

told of

least, to be

at

thoughts were
that

be

to

"

prospect of what

chamber

all the

called,

or,

not

after

still and

was

to be

expecting
to

time

cold

and

like lead

not

no,

the

less
cease-

and

shut

cheerless
upon

my

heart.
I had
were
nor

and

often, in my

lifted above
sorrow

; that

the

reveries

real want

too

to
trifling

unknown,

was

those
be

home, fancied

in life must

cottier

that all afflictions of

character

at

more

deemed

have
save

that all who


neither

care

in their class

highly placed

were

of

serious

now

sud-

; aud

denly there
his

COLLEGE,

I ENTERED

HOW

"

and

me,

the

me

grief?

of

share

tnrough

to

came

I sat

AND

HOW

I LEFT

thought, What
the

vow,

33

IT."

if every

had

one

suspicion thrilled

very

still,
dwelling on

the sad

theme

with

deep intensity.
from
the
sigh, low, but distinct,came
I
chamber.
adjoining
suddenly remembered
my
young
to the door ; it stood
master, and crept noiselessly
ajar, and
I could see in, and mark
everything well. He was sittingat
and
with books
table covered
a
writing materials ; a single
the whole, and lit up with
candle threw its yellow glare over
and
tired features of the youth.
a sicklytint the travel- worn
As

I sat

As

and

thus,

looked,

started

himself

his limbs

to

volume

The

with

on

to

again

pushed

addressed

seemed

him

nerve

intense

an

volume, and

and

tollingsounds

rather

convulsive

his seat, he

on

eyes,

heavy

distract,but
to

to

now

greater

persistence; turning
down

repeatedlynoting

the

on

read.

he

as

paper
Of

his

peal,and
Lyndsay

its din.

shudder, like

sittingup

from

his book.

to

efforts,for he read
from

; and

of

arm,

fatigue; when

solemn

with

his

upon

or

forth

vibrate
kind

down

sorrow

bell sent

; a

falling hah-

longer

no

sound

the

at

the

by

overcome

chamber

very

throe, shook
back

his forehead

deep-booming

the

made

leaned

he

either

seemed

suddenly

bell

from
the
ceased, and Lyndsay arose
table and
passed into the bedroom, from which he almost
instantaneouslyreappeared, dressed in his cap and gown,
a

sudden

the

"

curious

and

new

with

invested

was

I retired

hundred
the

court.

others

buzz

of

it before.

seen

duration
off

and
them

on

now

render
the

with

the

The

change
a

minute

myself to think by
myself acceptable to my
1"3

furniture

him

into

pass

Already

however, of

the whole

all

was

what
young

small

resemblance,

as

very

faint

I had

brief
moved
closed

more.

services

master.

some

were

assemblage
heavy door

still once

out

there, and

of

great building,whose

deep bang, and

me.

feet
many
silence of the court

was,

time

at the

assembled

were

sound

to the desert-like

set

scanty
VOL

costume

and

; in less than

entered

and
saw
my room,
I hastened
to look out.
to

in similar

voices

pleasantrelief

eyes, but which


mysterious interest to

deep,

now
silently

into the wide

in my

costume

could

arranged
enough, cer*

34

of

the

in

skill I seemed

then

led into the court

only figures which


clad
elderly personage

met

towards

gravely wending
cries
called
It

of

at

was

great door

of the

down
and
the very
retired ;

of

one

"

the

"

Hall

the steps

profited little by

and

removed

cold

he

water,

poured

was

soon

in

hags
heard

are

the

seemed

to fill

the door, and


when

young

his cheek
and

was

his whole

bathed

study

his

before
not

as

to

temples

his

hear

with

books, and

my

footsteps

I entered.

as

uncertain, and

stood

minutes

some

Indeed,
what!
mind

he not

had

from

believe

the

you,

than

did

intensityof

should

is this?"
themes

have

cried

his

retired
and

without

beheld

me.

me.

word,

a
"

for

Eh

"

he, endeavoring to recall his


him; "I had forgotten you,

before

and

have
had
breakfast."
no
you
sir?" said I, in reality more
interested

this,Con," said

he,

giving me a piece of silver


something to eat : to-morrow,
these
things better; for at
of

up

interrupt him
applicationawed
to

for

myself.

"Take

load

dare

not

accidentallylooked

boy,

"And
him

; the very

how

"

poor

my

other

"But
not

and
down

sat

more

immersed

so

posing
less im-

great excitement.

his cravat,

once

robes,

the far

din that
laughing in one multifarious
air.
Cautiously withdrawing, I closed
but scarcely had
I reached
room,
my

Having

and

now

diately
open with a crash, and immethe black tide of figures,talking

burst

gesture indicated

osity
curi-

frequently

me

my
eye were
in his academic

Hall,"

the

intense

An

chamber
:
Lyndsay passed through to his own
flushed, and his eyes sparkled with animation,
air and

with

myself
led

but

put his

to

the
as
"college women,"
the University housemaids.
as
these visits that suddenly I

some

officiate

who

"

the remnant

proceeded

without

on

The

some

walk.

new

going

was

which

door

this step.

in my

possess

what

know

to
to the

to

done,

fire with

actuallyastonished

and

order,

CREGAN.

cheerful

This

coal-box.

roomy

clothes

made

and

tainly,to comfort,

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

tasted

from
or

this

heeding

my

his purse;
next
moment

day,

remark, and
"get yourself

we

my

shall arrange
head
has
its

cares."

will you
food

not

not

since

eat
we

something?"

met."

said

I; "you

have

"

I ENTEKED

HOW

"We

expected

are

again

feel

and

his head

bent

of either

or

me

I LEFT

with

breakfast

to

table, and

IT."

35

on

the

tutor

our

to

seek

breakfast

my
loiterers

in

lost all remembrance

I stole

conversation.

few

were

the

over

our

sallied forth

There

HOW

AND

ing
mornings, Con," said he ; and then, not seemthe inconsistency of his acts with his words, he

examination
to

COLLEGE,

the

noiselesslyaway,
I could.

where

court;

stray student

hurrying past, or an old slipshod hag of hideous aspect and


all I beheld ; but both classes bestowed
squalid misery, were
most
unequivocal signs of surprise at my country air and
and
I could
to my
question, where
buy some
appearance,
the
bread
and
most
milk, answers
cynical or evasive were
While
I was
returned.
yet endeavoring to obtain from one
of the ancient

maidens

alluded

to

velvet

with

information

some

and

velvet

point, two

young

their gowns,
M I say,

stopped to listen.
friend," cried one, seemingly the younger

"

did

"when

two,

This

was

allusion

on

the

of

I, taking the question literally.


continued

he

place did you take?


roof," repliedI, supposing

the

on

capes

to

his

panion.
com-

"

What

"

said

that, Ward?"

hear

you

caps

enter?"

you

morning,"

"Do

"

men,

the

on

of my
classical," said

to the mode

the quaere

bore

coming.

the elder, a tall, good-looking


Quite
summd
did Caesar
into Gaul,
dilias
youth; "you came
gentid,'on the top of the Diligence."
They both laughed heartilyat a very threadbare
college
"

'

joke,

and

about

were

to

move

turning round, said, "Have


"
's that?
No, sir,"what
"

and

It's

these

say?"
"
Bony,
which

he

younger,

"

little ceremony,"

indeed

within

you

when
the
away,
matriculated?"

interposedthe elder," necessary,


indispensable,to every one
coming to reside
walls.
You've
heard
of Napoleon, I dare

is it?

was

"Exactly,"
first battle the

"

asked

better
said

I, giving

known

to my

he, "Bony.

baptism

Matriculation
to
way,
understand
eh?"
me,

of
be

the

circle of
Now

familiar

more

title

by

acquaintance.

Bony

used

to

Glory ; so may we style,in


the baptism of Knowledge.

call
a

like
You

36

C0NFB88I0NS

"

Not

all out," said

"We'll
"I

you
"

I,

said

Yonder,"

find

us

out

said, "Where

do

"

live here ?

I,

where

"

that

is."

lamp

chambers?"

Lyndsay's
sir."

right," cried

"All

the

"we'll

younger;

show

the

you

of matriculation."

secret

"Come

along,

my

tone
pompous
of that Pierian
to drink

volubile

omne

which

at

the

was

in

imposing

yielded at once, and


remote
quadrangle.
Here
they stopped
whistle

with

thrown
"Eh!

going

his

up, and
what!

"

on?

Come

fluent

'

of

use

mistrust

; however

acquaintances

let

first,

at

spring which

allayed any

once

so

used

the
"

"

teach

us

Labitur

you
in

et labetur

the

might

into

them

was

window,

another

while

one

thing
some-

and

Ward,"

and

gave

more

loud

immediately

was

face

merry-looking

handsome,

Taylor

felt of my

have

be, there

may

tongue

high-sounding syllables that

followed

under

that

unknown

the

fingers to his lips; the sash


a

elder, in the

"

cevum.'

it

believe

friend," said

young
he had

same

"

"let

"

"Yes,

new

partly."

by a diagram, then."
Bob," whispered the younger,
he is;
then, turning to me,

whom

"Mr.

but

"

CREGAN.

CON

illustrate

say,

with

OF

protruded.
he, "what's

cried

"

down,

Burton

; here

's

youth

for

matriculation,"

cried

the younger.
"All
right,"cried

here

at

breakfast

the

"

and

other.

"There

disappearing

are

from

eight
the

of

us

window,

to
the court, followed
by a number
speedilydescended
with a deep bow, and
of others, who
gravely saluted me
within
the classic precincts of old
me
solemnly welcomed
Trinity.
said the young
his name?"
what's
"Domine
gentleman

he

"

called Burton.

Cregan, sir," replied I, already flattered by


"Con
I was
Cregan, sir."
receiving,
along with us,
"Well, Domine
Cregan, come
know
what
put faith in a junior sophister. You
sophister is, I trust?"
"

the

tions
atten-

"

and
a

never

junior

HOW

"

COLLEGE,

I ENTERED

No, sir."
"Tell
him, Ward."
"A
junior sophister, Mr.

AND

HOW

I LEFT

37

IT."

"

'

'

Locke

all

is very

day,

is

Cregan,
locked

often

statute

lucentibus,'by extinguishingboth

lamps

Confound

"

soph, is

in his ninth

man

The

terror

"

The

Dean's

"

third.

"

Seldom

the

broke

added

credit to his parents, but

Greek

at

reached

exterior,

gloomy

watchmen."

and

in Burton

junior

"a

and

but

on

to his

tailor,"broke

fellow

no

by

this

one

side

by

by

at

commoner

and

other

the

on

one.

debtor

Taylor;

lane, flanked

narrow

de

'

another.

lecture,
out

night, and who


vigilantibuset

examination."

cow,"

milch

Currah," lisped

of

"

porters,"cried

the

of

pedantry

your

"

in

of

rubrics

two

all

out

the

the

observes

who, being in

one

time

had

we

tall

building
angle of the

an

square.

Here

' '

place,the
words

the

Cregan

when

out,

hands

pair of strong

was

legs were

; my

and, notwithstanding

"

Scarce
half

were

dozen

suddenly jerked upwards,


to

attempts

my

this is the

'

"

functions
!
your
seized by above

to

sponsors,

the poet says,

; as

wood.'

of the

centre

Gentlemen

"

Mr.

are,

we

resist, I

borne

was

I was
yards at a brisk pace.
already about
to forbear
I
to play their
as
my struggles, and suffer them
harmless
deemed
it
joke in quiet, when
straight in front

along

for

some

"

"

of

me

handle,
on

almost
The

whole

another

to

plot

turn

now

series of

which, and

at

pump,
were

throwing forth, above

enough

commenced
left

and

Burton

wreck

enormous

an

saw

by

double

like sailors
working away
a yard off, a jet of water

mill.

revealed

itself to

kickings

and

me

at

and

once,

plungings

that

almost

free.

too many
and too
My enemies, however, were
powerful ; on they bore me, and in a perfect storm
of blows,
fast under
lunges, writhings,and boundings, they held me
in a frothy current
the stream, which
played away
over
my
me

head, face, chest,

they
spot remained
I

shouted,

on

and

legs,

moved
my

for, with

"

me

from

whole

yelled,I

swore,

side to

most

side

laudable
till not

partiality
ima

dry

body.
and

screamed

for

aid, but all

38

OF

CONFESSIONS

in

vain

touch

and

of

weariness

exhausted

by

fallingwater,
of

The

"

their

down

"

the

directions, while

to

the

see

host

runtiniM

rush

the

cry
let go

barely
Hying in

crew

iu

them

porters followed

of

I,

of

anddenly

scampering

no

while

heard; my bearers
the flags, with
upon

was

tumbled

enough

"

feel

to

pastime;

resist ; when

to

Dean

seemed

inhuman

their

ceased

! the

CREGAN.

tormentors

strugglesand

my

Dean

hold,

in

almost

consciousness
all

diabolical

my

CON

hot

pursuit.
"Who

are

tall old

gentleman

"The

devil

to

him

Turn

the

outside

the

here?"

brought you

surmised

once

of

weight

be

to

said

Dean.

replied I, rising with


soaked

my

the

garments.

gates, Hawkins!"

him.

behind

porter

I at

What

himself, I believe!"

under
difficulty
"

sir?

you,

"Take

said

too, he

care,

the Dean
never

enters
re-

them."
'11take

"I

strong hand

good
on

of

care

it,sir," said the fellow,as with


the closed

collar,and

my

administering gentle admonitions


he

proceeded

revolving

for

through

head,
my
the square
;

"

was

was,

brief

therefore, more

expelled

"

the

on

very

than

day

same

not

liant,
brilthat

entered."
With

out
of

me

him

of

thoughts which, certes, evinced


gratitude to the learned university.

college career

My

before

back

the

to

other

went

of

sentiment

one

"

as

march

to

fingers of the

one

the "world

into the
one

harshly
through

classic

fact, that
than
a

kind

before

precinctsof
"Town"

could

"Gown."
of ordeal

to

scarcely

treat

me

felt, too, that I had


that my
ducking, like the
I

crossing the line, was


indispensable to my opening
on

choose," I stepped
College Green, fullyassured
where

me

a
career

kind

masonic

of

; and

that

thus

more

passed
nies
ceremo-

ordinance,
I had

got

trials."
successfullythrough one at least of my
A species of filial instinct suggested to me
the propriety
of seeing Newgate,
father
where
lay, awaiting the
my
him
arrival of the convict
to convey
to Van
ship that was
Diemen's
Land
thither I accordingly repaired,not to
; and
enter, but simply to gaze, with a very awestruck
tion,
imaginaof human
that double-barred
ferocityand
cage
upon
"

crime.

I
do

FEEP

with

choice

the

receives
this

My

occupations

and

COMPANY."

LOW

it observed

that

life

his mode

of

incline

rather

varied

certainly
than

the

with

the

the

result

he

name

that

opinion

dissimilar

of

any

turn-up"

"

little to

as

somewhat

the

mere

as

to

and

less

far

has

one

ceived
precon-

of

ing
roll-

the

Fortune.

while

calmly

revolving

assuring
I

that

starved,

AND

very

scheme

or

of

was

own

were

plan
die

of

baptism.

at

is true.

It

heard

often

have

"HIGH

AT

of

afternoon

strolled

species

myself

that

fatalism

in

Square

from

this

born

not

was

Merrion

along

expulsion

my

of

on

Trinity

and

cavaliers,

and

wise,
be

to

the

same

visit

to

Newgate.
There
horseback

by

equipages,
houses, with

attractive-looking occupants
persons

military

enough
the

handsome

dressed
a

brilliant

were

to

scale

promenaded

band
interest

of

performed;
and

pleasure

amuse

than

balconies
and

within
in

vast
the

fact,

one

myself.

of

often
crowds

square
there

was

ladies

on

tln*onged
of

gayly

itself,where
more

than

higher pretensions

in

PEEP

While

what

thus

life of

of

thus

market,

each

crowds

or

hold

permission to
of these

by

horse

parts

of

boys,

who

he

when

caparisoned

steeds

the

showed

who

of

attempt
wish

two

drama,

in

followed

in

; the

glossy

led about

trast
con-

coated

being

fierce

very

too

rivalry

species of organized
life,and indignantly
three

or

"

eagerly sought

to the

Although

some

the

and

they

prevailedamongst them, they seemed


guild,who constituted a distinct walk
resented

guessing

characters

dismounted

attendants

notice.

to escape

class of

horseback,

on

looking

mangy

handsomely

remarkable

his

the

"

arrival

new

of

for no
brought people together,
a
fair, or any festive occupation

half-starved
ragged, ill-feel,

of

set

41

COMPANY."

gazing on this brilliant panorama


wondering and
great city,and

"

seemed

who

LOW

AND

struck
difficulty, I was
to play the subordinate

the

solved

and

"HIGH

precise object

feature

was

outdoor

AT

"voluntaries"

join the fraternity.

to

against the rails of the square, studying with some


curiositylittle details of their etiquette,and their strange
A
conventionalities.
regular corps of them stood in front
I sat

of

canvassing with

me,

for

the

from

all the eager


of
handsome
a

possession

which

officer,in

young

their craft

of
volubility

thoroughbred
cavalry undress, was

pony,
about

to dismount.
"

with

"

I 'm

boy, Captain ! I'm Tim, sir ! cried one,


familiar
intimacy.
Miss
O'Grady, sir," shouted
ye about

your own
leer of most

"'Tis

towld

me

another, preferring
"

I'm

the

Captain!

"

his fellows

; for

of the

Off with

you

of

the

me

set aside

on

"knife"

of

committed

been

to
of

greater.

a scoff
many
and starving

off !

that

"

thrown,

was

of

upon
curs

said

fellow

patient

medical

eve

the

mare

tact in the
him

had

from
most

flattery.

stand

"

I sat,

the breach
have

of

Had

the

down

; "let

as

scene.

your

ragged

use

threatening tone

pointed to

these

stronger claim.

day ye
third, exhibitinga want

drew

that

livelysense
"

boy caught

insinuated

reminiscence

and

another

but

the young
take my
mare
unconcerned

consultation

been

dragoon,
"

and

suddenly

great surgical operation, and


of anew
the unpractised hand

The

gang

the

stared

surprisecould
at

me

he

spectator

etiquetteand

in

with

the

stander
by-

scarce

most

42

CONFESSIONS

OT

and

undisguised contempt,

irony

followed

very
I neither

which

for

study,

had

this

"horse-boy"
one.

country look, my
and

all poignant

shoes,

usual

than

and

I listened

"

walk

to

was

verily believe,

have

the

to

when

and

strict obedience

to

his

was

that

orders

he

be

gray

how

The

dignity.
about

well

so

warm

then, assuming a
far from
feeling,

absent

returned, seemed

he

and

rags

my country
officer's directions

sombre

was

"

"

is the

costume.

in

such

the

to

; and

sarcasm

the
from
spot
away
title
is
the
generic

moved

sequent
sub-

any

the

preferred

young
where

and

mare,

indifference

of

degree

his

"

stockings of

attentivelyto

dress, my
walk, my
my
were
none,
my critics wore

should

worsted

blue

probationary

did

ever

squalor of the initiated,at that moment,


frieze

position

on

bitter; and

ridicule,I

of

the

to

pain

more

criticisms

very

summons.

in Life to take

fortune

and

but
acquirement;
necessary
of
walk
step in the very humble

me

gave
The

the

abuse

the

first

my

obey

to

submitted

possessed

nor

believe

force

often my

been

It has

of

perfect volley

1 hastened

as

me

CRBOAJt

Con

tain
cap-

hour

an

pleased with

gave

me

my

shilling,

the

hour

and
same
punctually
the same
place on the day following.
dark ; the lamplighter had begun his rounds,
It was
now
and
I was
escape
just congratulatingmyself that I should
them
approaching in a body.
persecutors, when I saw
my

and

In
of

desired

an

instant

questions

brought
than

all

to

me

was

to

as

besides,
this

answered

surrounded, and
who

there, and,

me

"

query

at

what

where

was,

others

were

more
"

give

not

torrent

what

from,

came

lastly,and with
did " the captain

first,the

with

assailed

eagerness
me?
As I

pressed

; and

the
on
expend the money
being voted that I should
fraternity,by way of entrance-fee, or, as they termed it,
set in a body to a distant
we
paying my footing,"away
it

"

part of the town, remote


thoroughfares, and
called

the

unlimited

and

excessive
it

"Liberties."

was

no

misnomer.

from

among
If the

chaos

title

freedoms
On

and

all its better

were

of

lanes

very
which

and

conferred

permitted
my

more

to

entrance

cious
spa-

alleys
for the

the

tants,
inhabi-

into

it I

prevailed.
perceived the perfect free and easy
tide of population thronged the close, confined
A
dense

PEEP

AT

mostly

passages,

with

scavengers,

rollickingah-

and

"HIGH

LOW

AND

43

COMPANY."

of

hodmen,
bricklayers' laborers, and
old-clothesmen, beggars, and others whose
look

daring

bespoke

hazardous

more

modes

life.

of

their way
companions wended
through the dense
throng like practised travellers, often cutting off an angle
sionally
by a dive through the two doors of a whiskey shop, and occamaking a great short-cut by penetrating through a
behind
house and
the court
it, little exploitsin geography
from
the occupants, and
times
someexpiated by a volleyof curses
in addition.
an
admonitory brickbat
dom
The
uniform
good temper they exhibited ; the easy freewith which they submitted
to the rather rough jocularities
the usual salute being a smart
of the passers-by,
slap on
of the head, administered
the crown
by the handicraft tool of

My

"

"

the

this

individual, and

slater's
the

hammer,

sometimes

could

"

being
exalt

but

not

of

iron

an

trowel

in my

them

or

esteem

as

with.

had

varlets
sojourned
ever
patient set
were
going so far, and whither
my question as to why we
the one
short reply,
journey tended, I got for answer
most

To
our

"

"We

must

Now,

go

to

'

I would

ould

Betty's.'"
willinglyspare as

much

this

of

period's
recital to my
reader
I can,
I will content
as
myself with
old lady
stating that " ould Betty," or Betty Cobbe, was
an
who
kept a species of ordinary for the unclaimed
youth of
Dublin.
fed and
educated
at her seminary ; the
They were
and
for at
washing cost little,
certainly"done"
they were
the very
in
smallest
the most
cost, and
remarkably brief
as

of

space

time.

be

read

the

distant

in

If

these

ever

certain

far-off

bush, more
River, will confess

Swan
of

life and

of

Mrs.

manners

Elizabeth

faint memorials

than

were

land,

how

many
imbibed

from

attention

of

The

Colonial

she had

been

wider

scale

life should

of

sharp notions

trainingnurture

Cobbe.

the

before

I had

attracted

the honor

towards

Secretary had
ever

her

authorities.

jealous ;
possibly grown
Island
on
a
pushing emigration to Norfolk

than

in

settler

dull stream

the

the

one

his first

of

Betty'sproceedings, for some


years
and felicity
of her acquaintance, had
the

than

more

angler in

one

of

cabinet

dreamed

of; and

thus

for
far
had

44

IfFESSIONS

acquiredwhat,

she

phrased the

is

in

had,

l*

the

"

anxious

most

having opened her


Indian
language of East
men,"

her

doors,

before,

as

advertisements,

had

she

fallen

infest

down

disciples she

these

By

devotion

the

was

felt it.

she

faults

To

train

follies of

and

for

compensation
them

venerated

due

their better-endowed

few

fry
vagabondage,

world's

with

up

"

small

that

to

and

the

in the

called

and

revered

was

and

what,

to

are

disguises of vagrancy
highways of a capital.

the

establishment

in various

who,

so

protectorate,f""r wliich,

reformed

"

from

spiritedyoung

watchful

grieve
the very
of
reverse
gratitude. Betty
in requirement with
and
the spiritof
vexed
capricious spiritthat ever
plain,

mortals

old-fashioned

neighbors,

"

consequence,

times

the

CRBOAW.

politelanguage of our
Surveillance of the Police,"

evinced

she

say,

OOK

in tin-

and
Baperintendenoe
to

01

their

neglect,and
regard to the

neighbors

her

was

teaching her knowledge of


Dublin
life and
people largely contributed.
Her
originalwalk had been minstrelsy; she was the famous
ballad-singerof Drogheda Street, in the year of the rebellion
She had been half a dozen times imprisoned,
of '98.
some
"
visited
Beresford's
said that she had
riding-school,"
even
in daily practice; but this is not so
the knout
where
was
and
clear : certain it is. both her songs
sympathy had always
the terror
of Protestant
She was
been on the patrioticside.
a
ascendency for many
year long.
if they were
she
her own
Like
verses
Homer,
; or,
sung
of
the
secret
for her, the
never
made
authorship was
divulged. For several years previous to the time I now
aim

object, and

and

such

to

"

speak of,
specialand
the world
bear

than

So

she

had

abandoned

the

Muses,

the

its

of

name

for

much

lyric,which,

some

the

past.

on

she would

striking occasions, when


with

save

however,

once

famed

Now

to

come

did

some

before

little

more

composer.

the

history of

present

Betty Cobbe.
In

large unceilin^ed

the

hearth,

sat

Betty, in

her

snow-white

of

over
a

which
straw

hair

huge" pot

chair.
and

with

room,

She

lustreless

truculent,unyielding

was

of

great fire blazing


potatoes

was

evidentlyvery
bespoke ; but

eye
still
warmed
spirit

her

on

boiling,
old.

as

the fire

blood, and

AT

PEEP

"HIGH

sharp, ringing voice told


to the
existence
last,and

the
for

that

she

decided

was

would

45

COMPANY."

LOW

AND

in"

"give

never

wrestle

to

until

fairlyconquered.
rest of
: the
Betty's chair was the only one in the chamber
the company
bent
disposed themselves
classicallyin the recumposture, or sat, like primitiveChristians, cross-legged.
wooden
A long deal table, sparingly provided with
plates
and

few

round

the walls
learned

soon

Come

"

several

were

the

were

along till I

varlets

to

as

me,

he

middle

the

occupied

spoons,

small

bundles

ye to ould

show

his

pushed

"She's

in

as

we

took

'

sweet

of straw,

this

temper,

had

gangs

The
here
Polis was
passed.
Danny White,' and threatened

shuns," said

'

Freeman
of

that

thing at
bow-legged
a

written

all

they'll lave

little

round

of

one

arrived, and

while

and

up

the

break

to

of

us

he

institu-

our

was

other,
an-

ago,

blackguard, with the

his hat ; for

the

crowded

evening," whispered

"

devil

which

the

through

up
whole
establishment."
"The

and

room,

Betty," said

way

already several other


exchanging recognitions.

were

the

property of private individuals.

for

room;

of

'

ing
Even-

attache

an

journal.

"Ould

crying all the evening," said the former


Betty was
had gained the side of the fireplace,
speaker; by this time we
the old lady sat.
where
"
cried my
Mother!
mother, I say!
guide, touching her
elbow
Mother
gently; then, stooping to her ear, he added,
Betty !
Who's
callin' me?"
said the hag, with
"Eh!
her hand
"

"

"

"I'm

aloft.
to

say my
"She's

here, my

Lord, neither

ashamed

afeard

nor

name."

wanderin'," cried another; "she

thinks

Cobbe!

my

she's

in

Coort."

"Betty
once

say.

It's

me!"

said

introducer,

more.

The

old

woman

turned

from
eyes, bloodshot
flare up into an angry
gleam
Is it you that 's turnin' informer

glassy

out

of yer mother's

arms,

and

round,
fiercely
excess
as

she

and

in Green

passion,

said, "

agin me,

her dimmed

"

You

you

Street, when

seemed

and
to

dirty thief
that I took
she

up

fainted

46

OF

CONFESSIONS

yer father?
old Meredith!"

murdered

she, "that

"Yes,
of her

Lord,"

my

terleythat

of

Many

said

scarcely exceeded
in point of
"

"Who

"

Father

was

rocked

with

know

bekem

what

of

whose

creature,

fathers

our

"

height

feet, although evidently near

hood
man-

age.

Street," growled

Luke

of

another.

cried

Mickey?"

yours,

said

yours?"

directly in front
"
Con
Cregan,

me

and

exposure.

n't

two

Glynn,

"And

you

shook

she

But-

the

out

imp,

leer.

Success

"

and

boy
Butterley's

sly-looking,old-fashioned

with

"

at the

does

us

she, still following the theme

it 's James

"

hanged

was

fiendish exultation
"

spoke.

continued

fancies,

wild

own

fellow, became

bold-featured

and

boy, a hardened
lividlypale, but never
The

father," added

Your

of

down

cutting

the

at

CREGAN.

CON

dragging

another,

forward,

me

of

Betty.
Kilbeggan,"

of

bouchal

to ye, ma

Con

son

of

for

few

seconds, and
I'm

"

tone, added,

"

I, boldly.
the old

said

then,

in

hag

She

looked

slower

and

informer."

the

're

said

last

forty years,

"

and

so

sternlyat
erate
delib-

more

Lady Day, living

and
rogues,
but may
I

with all sorts of thieves, and


keepin' company
besides ;
blaguards, and worse,
a}T, far worse
see
never
Glory if an informer, or his brat, was

under

roof

this way,

the

seemed

sometimes

"

decision

of

at the contact

of

such

of

which

indeed

societywas

she

spoke

and

gazed

honest

people

criminal.
this

at the very

was

as

fell back

seconds, while

the

Pariah

voice

and

bystanders, who
of shrinking terror

of some
pause
of abject debasement

sense

look

the

kind

exhibit

During
the

that

afore

impress

to

with

me

"

steadfast

The

at

and

endured, my

lowest.
most

To

be

distinctive

infamy.
"

ye ashamed

Are

hag, shaking
"It

is not

looking
I should

them

""

round

of yer

father?

roughly by

me

here, and
at

feel shame

one

before

Tell

me

that ! "

cried

the

shoulder.
the

like

ragged, unwashed
! or if I did, it is

the

of

these," said

assemblage,
to

find

myself

""

I,

that

among

18

CONFESSIONS

the

"

Mendicity

OF

Institution"

nightfallto follow the


These
regulated,tastes.

CKKliAN.

the

daring

bent

at

of

CON

of

their

creatures

and

day,

not

own,

tlie

were

free

sot

well-

over

bidlad-singers

the

in company
alone, sometimes
city ; and, sometimes
of the boys, they were
with one
wont
to take their stand
in
of
some
the
public thoroughfare, not only the character
singer, but the poetry itself,taking the tone of the street ;
that while
scandal
so
some
daring bit of town
caught the
of
ears
College Green, a
or
bloody murder"
a
"dying
formed
the attraction
of Thomas
Street and
the
speech
""

"

"

Poddle."

Many

existence,
to

when

have

sharpened wit and


the gifted,my
mind

checkered

the

has

often

reverted

thought how

how

soon

repartee

what

droll

conceits, passed through those

have

deemed

to

their

stations

the

followed

there

attack

to

was

no

as

what

"

high-born
beggar

answered,

brains, where
for

broke

spirit,to stroll about the streets ;


I was
the straw
lay down
one,
upon
dream, till daylight.

my
listened

quaint fancies,

room

ballad-singers;

of

that

readilythe cutting jest was

brooding guilt and sad repining.


As night closed
in, the assembly
forth

and

at

horde, and

would

page

lordly tables
polished railleryof

sat

the

and

in

afterwards,

years

up
some,

while
to

one

aught

save

issued

; some

in pure

bond
vaga-

others, of whom

sleep,

without

VOo

(gtmPTIK

OF

"VIEWS

it

was

thoroughly

and

was

exalted

very

in

get forward
I

found

certain

to

in

days

my

that

guiding rules
Not
only were

certain

less

the
VOL.

i.

"

was

other

no

-t

not

like

certain
it

was

difficult

as

parts of
a

at

natural
within

other

every

which
the

recognized

not

town

rule

least
acute"

me

to

to

pass

career,

had

it

was

lated.
regu-

interdicted
that

when

man
habitually by any gentleThis
endeavor
to supplant him.
of
a
perfect community
property

singled
should

had

permit me
"horse-boy."

principles by

and

but

gangs,

that

would
of

my

resolve

"walk,"

the

that

one,

; my

grateful

calling was

fixed

ignoble craft

the

particular boy
was

world,"

the

and

living,

still, my

better

and,

ness,

of

mode

the

where

there

came

was

if the

that

before

remember

how

thought

one,

morning,

next

minutes

few

could

next

secured

the

woke

HEN

LIFE."

out

50

CONFESSIONS

the rule

was

committed

of
the

to

order

the

would

that
fidelity

have

shamed

many

company."
The
regular etiquette required

night

scrupulous

"

joint-stock

youth should
side of the city,where
in the north
the
begin his career
of a less distinguishedorder, and the
class of horsemen
was
fees proportionally lower.
he was
Thence
promoted to the
Four
Courts ; from
which, as the highest stage, he arrived
at Men-ion
Square and its neighborhood. Here the visitors
either the young
officers of the garrison,the Castle
were
or
a
officials,
wealthy class of country gentlemen, all of
whom
ern
sixpences ; while in the cold quarter of northgave
the only currency.
If the
Dublin, penny-pieces were
public differed in these three places,so did the claims of
the aspirant : a grave, quiet, almost
sombre
look being the
tery
grand qualificationin the one, while an air of daring effronin

the master
his

chancery

bobtailed

exterior,
kept

and

actuallydived

him

be

the

the

with

up

breathless

to

six

"

the

"

blown,

or

absent.

of

news

the

dining ;

out

To

to

do

wait

on

with

ready

was

in

barrack

and

voluble

who

had

this task

while

yet

to

give

who

"

arrived,

or

apple-

an

tongue

neighborhood,

grave

sharp canter,

upset

him

of

mit
com-

thoroughbred
flowing hair,

and

carriage-poleand

in time

up

current

the

only

varlet
his

while

For

would

discreet-faced

from

under
"

and

Square,

him

other.

clerk"

dashing aide-de-camp on
the wild imp with roguish eye

that

to

the

or

pony

in

each

the

singled out

stall

recommendation

the best

was

that

each

were

Betty,"with

"old

of

charge

all moneys

and

CREGAN.

CON

OF

in

was

why

they

with

dexterityand tact was


the crowning feature of the craft, and in such hasty journalism
attained
some
a high proficiency
dal
; seasoning their scanwith sly bits of drolleryor quaint allusions to the current
in this,it was
to
topics of the day. To succeed
necessary
know
the leading characters
of the town
and
the circumstances
of their private history and
these I set myself to
;
learn with
the assiduity of a
Bath
did
a
study. Never
were

Master
the
never

pore

of

the

Ceremonies

investigationof
did
over

young

the

devote
faults

and

lady, before

Debrett, than

did

himself

foibles of

coming out,
I

pursue

my

to
ardently

more

his company
more

patiently

researches

into

OF

"VIEWS

Dublin

life and

evidence

and

; until

manners

shrewd

None

like

last,what

at

observation,

mysteries of nearly every

51

LIFE."

had

well-known

key

house

explain why the father


family in Stephen's Green only appeared of
blinds

the

of

and

o'clock;

merely

be felt.

glove

that

what

most

hoard

Had
of

apprise him

for
the

I saved
his

How

have

coat,

wearing

the
a

mauy

mufti,"

"

White

canal

to

the

lady

who

all.

Nor

was

I made

it to

but

"

poor

courage
en-

is

worked,

bon

came

and

spirit,there
have

that

no

what

effected.

diable," and

sinner

against the

had
been
poor subaltern
I not
been
had
there to

often
coming. How
college-man from a heavy fine, who,
in the
was
sick-list,
flirting
Square."

poor
the

on

of

the

meetings

call

three

at

enterprise

might

; how

gentleman

miser,

awkward

side

How

like

malicious

French

town-major

name

the

stimulate

mischief

the

strong spiritof right.

with

been

the

took

generously

have

in his

anticipated,what

arrest

From

wealth

my

however, what

put in

Sunday

in the

amount

discoveries
I was,

leaf

great capitalistto

credit.

saying

afternoon.

secret

city.
the
dashing

of

Square, I knew them


possessed the knowledge, but

I did not

like

forth

meant

geranium

to the

down
always drawn
the hackney-coach at

were

Thursday

her

dropped

18

what

bridge every
always wore
it

No.

oral

in the

to

me

between

was

"

hastened,

risk of my

at the

neck, between

ing
crash-

to a fair lady
carriagesand prancing horses, to announce
"
band,
that the
Counsellor," her huslounging in her britzska
was
unexpectedly returning from court an hour earlier

than

his wont.

from

mothers

his

I have
; the

creditor,

angel, who
My "amour
qualitymay
the

in

"

word,

"

conceded

all who

did

was

the

over

propre"
of

cause

from

sons

fathers, daughters

his

pupil from

watched

be

rescued

if

such

to

one

guardian, the debtor from


of ragged guardian
kind
a
peccadilloesof the capital.
an

like
I

wrong.

expression
me
was

"

was

of

interested

in

of

all

Quixote

the

such

deceivers.
With
while
was

with

"

Con

on

the

look-out,"

none

surprise; and

feared

shrewdness
known
to be first-rate,my
was
honesty
my
It may
alike unimpeachable.
readilybe believed how,
acquirements and talents like these, I no longer pursued

the humble

walk

of

"

horse-holder

"

indeed,

rarely touched

52

CONFESSIONS

if I did so, it was

bridle, or,

In such

localities

of

the head

at

was

that

mare," showed
service
To

at

this

two

get

me

presumed

to

fellow

hold

to

this

ignoble

expect the

who

of

three

my early patrons, men


obscurity,I would still condescend

or

to

had

yield

gratefulacknowledgment on my
most
handsomely. Among
tl^eyalways rewarded

attention,
"

part which

of

degree

held

I had
pony
Honorable
an

the youug
officer whose
first night of my
arrival.
He was
these

hands.

in my

me

for my presence
I
to loiter in.

account

might need an excuse


tion
profession; and the ordinary saluta-

none

own

nry

some

noticed

my

only to

cavaliers, "Con,

the

of

as

CREGAN.

CON

OF

was

the

on

Captain

De

well-mannered, and very poor,


very well-looking,
eked out his
staff who
of the Commander-in-Chief's

Courcy,

"

member

together.
At the time I speak of, his visits to Merrion
Square were
devoted
to the cause
of a certain Mrs. Mansergh, the young
and beautiful wife of an old red-faced,foul-mouthed
Queen's
The
scandal was,
Counsel, at least forty years her senior.
that her originhad been of the very humblest, and that, seen
by accident on circuit,she had caught the fancy of the old
in female
ever
connoisseur
beauty. Howlawyer, a well-known
about
two
that might be, she was
now
years married,
and
regal
already recognized as the reigning beauty of the vice-

life

birth and

the aid of his noble

by

and

court

The

the

capital.

circumstances
and

beauty,
with

that

there

her

of

bold

the

his wits

game

kind

"

I used

eyes.

her

all invested

"

great interest in my

origin,her

low

history, her
she played,

to

myself
early

flatter

similarityin at least our


fortunes ; and I enlisted myself in her cause
with an
ardor
I could
that
not
often, as she
explain to myself. How
the best-appointed and
passed in her splendid barouche,
handsomest
her
equipage of the capital, have I watched
was

of

"

"

in her

wrapped

as,

indolence

she,

"

that

Far

it;
me.

she

from
she
I

was

kind

remember

bowed

perhaps

envious

was

that

the

quious
obse-

around

her,

queenly state ; glorying to


noticed
proud glance scarce

that

throng
"

think

of her

she, whose

"

Cashmere, she reclined in all the voluptuous

with
not

jealousyat
of beacon

well, it was

uncovered
better

nurtured

her better
set
an

on

heads

myself.

fortune, I exulted

hill to

actual

than

guide and

triumph

to

me

in

cheer
one

53

LIFE."

OF

"VIEWS

scrupulous
dashing nobleman, not overwhere
present, stopped,
beauty was
with all his glittering
staff,beside her carriage,and in playful
from
the
raillerybegan to chicle her for being absent
We
last drawing-room.
missed
sadly, Mrs. Manyou
sergh," said he, smilinghis most seductive smile.
Pray tell

day,

gay aud
the claim of

the

as

Viceroy, a

"

"

friend

my

fairest smiles

and

of

I refused

to

"Downright
with

the

capital."

you

think

told

him

that

I 'd

who,

I 'm

sure,

so, my

said

look

Your

the most

blended
What

he

flash

and

velvet

robe

even

Excellency,
to

the

wife,

of

of

poor prerogatives,"
my
lit up his pleased
crimson

color is

"
"

your

timid

replied I could

courtesy, however,

your

so

Lordship's,"said she, with


coquette might envy, so admirably

wear

finished

trust

were

proudest
a

to

"

the husband."

to

favorite

like to

should

train,

new

rejoined she

case

refuse

not

very
while

he, bowing,

"

Lord?

represent the

would

you gave a
"It will be the

me

gravity.

silk gown

"

give

not

the

us

old

while

features.

denies

who

warm
luke-

most

one," said she, laughing.


roy,
honor," said the Vicedisloyalty,
upon
my
the

wear

well got-up

"

would

he

Lord,

Don't

"

Government

the

truth, my

himself

shows

he

of

supporter
"In

that

Mansergh

bashfulness.
catch.

not

in his

There
in

smile, and

was

flattering

the familiar

motion

good-bye," that were


of his sovthat
ereign,
he, the haughty mirror
enough to show me
him
did not think
to bandy compliments
it beneath
and
humble
exchange soft looks with the once
beauty.
that time out, my
From
whole
thoughts day and night were
centred
in her ; and I have
passed hours long, fancying all
the possible fortunes
for which
destiny might intend her.
It seemed
to me
as
though she was
pilotingout the course
of

the

hand

for

me

in

own.

her,

with

which

life,and
Often, when
have

that
a

he

her

ball

or

bade

success
a

was

the

earnest

of my

great receptionwas

sat, cold, shivering,

house, watching with

"

and

given by
hungry, opposite the
all the equipages as

thrillinginterest
called
they came,
hearing the high and titled names
aloud by the servants,
and
thinking to myself, Such are
and

"

her

associates

are

here

to

now.

do honor

great and haughty personages


her, then- lovelyhostess ; and she,

These
to

54

CONFESSIONS

but

few

Only they
be

able

boy

the

"

could

was

who

have

myself."

"

sanguine, hopeful temperament


how

the

will

houseless, friendless

poor

"

But

greatness.

I had

intermediate steps

of

seemed

great, I perceived could


in any

the

eyes ; the
my
The noble bearing

fortune.

high
the

all be

before

goal

it I left to

to

associates

claim

the

set

polishedgraces

humble

my

scarcely

child
of the world, the convict's
very outcast
dare to indulge in such day-dreams of future

ever

and

"

understand

to

CREGAN.

buck, if report spoke truly,was

years

better off than

CON

OF

and

actual

There

acquired.

class to the

wealthy, which
birthrightof
was

no

to

the
scriptive
pre-

of

high breeding;
and why should
not I, if fortune
favored, be as good a gentleman
the best?
In other
as
particulars,all that I had
observed
showed
wondrous
me
no
dissimilarityof true
The
feelingin the two classes.
gentleman, to be sure, did
like the

not

swear

the

betting-groundI

fellow ; but

common

had

to the

seen,

the

on

deceit

much

full,as

brown

stuff and

folk

ragged
better

beneath

spiritof backbiting,that we
a current
pastime in
nothing of, seemed

check

knew

then, should
which

manners,

and

debar

me

To

be

like

then

Any

who

one

mode

feign,nor
them, was
only

necessarilyit

tends

elevate

beneath.

those

education

in
of

soon

high
a

class?

that

Not

vices,which

the
to be

of them,

"

and
conviction
theory.
my
my
and
will take the pains to reflect on

thinking I

of

from

I could

least, was

result

as

circles.

What,
feel.

as

ness
faithless-

in my
order."
There
"own
was
Valenciennes
lace and velvet as well

beneath

or

racecourse

I witnessed

ever

the

manners

rather

and

I
noble

part which

began

to

tell.

mentioned, will

here

have
to

did

depress
not

those

I deemed
I felt

but

easy

to

I could

such,

assume.

at

analyze
see

than

myself
simply the
to

purpose

sentiments,

above

the

how
to

any
formance
per-

The

degree of contemptuous

almost
revered
as
I had once
persons
"
as
demigods. I no longer looked up to the " gentleman
the
I fostered
such by right divine, but by accident ; and
hatred

for

the

very

I could
writings of every radical newspaper
of socialism, all the
All the levelling doctrines
at.
come
of
as
plausibilities
great truths t"" me;
equality,became
the
and I found
a most
ready aptitude in my mind to si mare

feelingby

the

STROKE

BOLD

IN

regular
wait

at

Square,
of

THE

the

indeed, the
of

the

he

as

the

Post-office

bridle, with

wished

to

me

walk

word

with

possible kind.
pale cold
but

once

and

short

it
tore

him,

was

with

was

and

as

our
was

that
when

her

in

the
I

awed
the
teeth

the
of

and

mare
a

me

by

great piece of

upon

simplest

the

saw

he

tion
recogni-

of

of

never

seized

fling me

direction

impassive quietude
me.

ing
strik-

ventured

was

who

pony's

the

the

rival
ar-

instant;

the

extent

never

intercourse
an

to

clatter

head

the

animal,
;

Courcy,

dismount,

To

of

nod

me

There

features

clock.

De

announced

along always

the

vouchsafed

ever
even

cantered

o'clock, the

Captain

Merrion

of

corner

three

at

did

itself

day

punctual

came

hoofs

WORLD.

the

as

ING
OPEN-

AN

FOR

about
him
the

my

his

smile
der,
shoul-

ragged

FOR

STROKE

BOLD

OPENING

AN

IN

THE

Then, indeed, lie did vouchsafe


away.
to his pampered
listless smile, as he said
coat

What

dirty feeder

you

Very little notice

satisfyme,
that

we

would

the

lie between

wish

it to

accrued

have

inferred

to

is

notes

in

boudoir

anticipatingwith
After

been

tion,
recogni-

enough

to

might acknowledge

that

how

matter

no

vengeance
cold

had

distinct
any
real advantage

obtaining it,

far

"

have

and, if
silk

that any

nor

might

with

of

hours

three

have

from

me

that ; very little consideration


station ;
with
contented
my
these

us.

be

acknowledgment,

an

of

act

great chain,

same

might

such

right to

of

part

were

faint,
"Fie, fie!

nag,

merest

would

"

links
many
I do not

his part, the

on

give

to

"

monosyllable,
anything, in short, which

look,

are

57

WORLD-

induced

of

hangings,

and

And

to go

wait,

now

to be

me

instead

so,

from

writing
but

"

this

back.

rainy and dreary


afternoon, the only solace to my
hunger being the imaginative
of
the
of
those
one
reflectingon
pleasure
happy mortals
who
in the various houses
to dinner
were
sittingdown
along
the Square, and
quillity
fancying to myself the blessed state of tranit must

impart

to
from

appetizing excellence,
demand

of

did

man's

on

nature

which

quite

manner

custom,

coat,

nor

whip, pettishlycried, "Let

the

me,

It

was
was

the

when

opened,
too

dark

and

to

as

of

such

would

haste
was

gatherings
bespeak the

and
his

flurryof
constant

sirrah!"

go,

drawing-room

window,

lad} stepped

discern

and

as

cantered

motionless, my mind
thought of rebellion has
occurred.

her

reprisalhas

of

idea

not,

with

her

moments
I stood for some
away.
the first
that strange state when

away,

no

jerk into the saddle,


sharply with the gold knob of his

knuckles

and, rapping my

to go

of

business,

to feel
along the mare's neck
of coaxing to her
a single word

flung himself

He

he mounted.

did

He

unusual.

his hand
pass
did he mutter

and

meal

him.
And
what
any kind could withdraw
lations
specuI indulge in as to the genial pleasantry that must
the

"

see

call of

no

happy wit, the joyous ease


when
three or four
carriagesat a door
at such
a
dinner-party!
company
At last, out came
captain,with a
my
abound,

to

either

her

out

was

in
tered,
en-

about

straightabove
the balcony.
upon

features

or

her

dress ;

58

OF

CONFESSIONS

but

certain instinct told

voice.

subdued

know

You

"

on:

go there at once,
hesitated
She
note."
and

say,

words

in

coin

if uncertain

as

what

to

I, catching the letter and

the

he

note

dropped

trust

been

envelope

to

perfectly." Before

me

retired, the window

had

uttered, she

fingers,nothing

not

in the

inserted

half

curti.ji drawn,

my

had

wrhole

Are

his

may

well

were

closed, the

the

"

from

is

had

she
"You

give it weight.
was

second,

said

it,ma'am,"

do

half-crown, which
the

Mansergh.

accident."

pocket by
"I'll

for

added, "It

then

Mrs.

was

Courcy's boy?" said she, in a sweet and


she went
I replied in the affirmative, and
his quarters at the Royal Hospital? Well,
as
speedilyas you can, and give him this

De

Captain

you

it

me

CREGAN.

CON

and, except

the

remained

show

to

letter
that

and
the

foolish brain.
my
mission
to fulfil my

trick

of

impulse was
; I even
But as I turned the corner
started off at full speed to do so.
of the Square, the;glare of a bright gas-lamp suggested the
temptation of at least a look at my despatches ; and what
immediate

My

was

astonishment

my

been

dropped by
superscriptionwas
blotted

I had
mine

mind

the

passions

of

this ;

show

and

they

obedience,

"

without

in the

could

Let

rebel.
of

the

the

"

My
note.

as

whole
Not

to

captain'spocket, the
the very act of catching,

course,

be

an

was

the

minute

before, I

certain

are

times

stormy

headstrong,
political

in

people feel,or even


My frame of mind

at

The

and

moment

affair of

no

outrage.

reckless

terrible

most

all

suspect, that

exactly in
ready to yield

was

was

service ; and
of a sudden,
now,
any
slightestreal cause, or from anything which
tender

remotest

the reader

motive, since it

the science

in

"

This, of

deceit

had

the

fury-driven mob,

that critical stage.


any

from

note, which

"

tricked.

been

have

this

on

deception, and deception


dangerous injury. There

is when

convulsions

words

feels

the

that

scarcelydry,

becomes

moments

find

accident"

"

it evinced

; but

when

the

to

affect

way

forgive the
from

comes

me,

"

somewhat
one

who

had

become

tedious
has

long

analysis
studied

chemistry,and made most of his experiments


in "ignoble bodies."
the rule directs
deliver the
resolve was
not
changed : I would
that I had any
preciseidea wherefore, or that I

of moral

"

had
I

true

OPENING

AN

IN

other

conception what
discipleof revolt

least

the

was

FOR

STROKE

BOLD

59

WORLD.

THE

I should

course

I rebelled

adopt

rebellion's

for very

sake.

Betty Cobbe's
A

evening.
the

had

to

was

attracted

brilliant

usually

than

more

which

race,

day,

next

was

off

come

numerous

tnat

on

Kingstown

at

in

company,

the

and
pickpockets,
horse-boys, bill-carriers,
all of whom
hoped to find a ready harvest on the morrow.
conversation
The
therefore, entirely of a sporting
was,
the ring went
Anecdotes
of the turf and
character.
round,
and
in the many
fraud might
and
curious devices of roguery
of that select company.
binations
Combe read the prevailingtaste

walks

various

of

also

were

formed

raise

to

the

of

rate

thrown

payment,

about

ingenious suggestions
many
cattle loose, slackinggirths,stealingcurb-chains, and
and

from

holding thenprofession.

ness

so

on,

public who
preferred
intrustingthem to the

the

than

the admiration

was

cunning adept

most

correct

men

race

learned,

How

my

ditches"

that

merely blind one,


wily stratagems by

had

purposely

that would

the

grazed them
"

in all the

left

were

catch

smash,

the wilful ways


of Fortune.
over
companions chuckled

swinging gates
but

themselves

horses

turning

itself,too, engrossed a great share of interest


talked of with all the devoteda certain
Fergusson was
affection of a dear
friend.
and
Nor, as I afterwards

The
and

of

antagonistic part

that

out

betray

bog-holes,

then- share

of

to

which

the

such

' '

rotten

unwary;

evitably
touch, and inclear, if the hoof

and

swamp,

approval ;

was

least

the

open
that attempted to

horse

he

stories of

to

at

as

but

stone

fences, to

drain

dug eight

feet

deep, and that must


certainlybreak the back of the
"
mistake
a
horse, if not of the rider also, who made
over
the triumph which
carried away
the suffrages of
it,seemed
"

the

whole

Now,

assembly.
although I had
than

part

new

scheme

the first

to

and

the

me

seen

others, these

; and

I listened

trick

by which
simplicity. The

step on

the

far

road

more

narratives
with

cunning
admiration

to traud

of real

; and

sport and

were

high

for the

interest

overreach

can

of

and

most

every
manoeuvre
out-

knavery is
laughs heartily

adroit

he who

to

manship
horse-

GO

CONFESSIONS

at

clever

a
"

for

trick,seldom
the

principles

fixed,

so

my
did

conceive

not

Morning

For

nor

he is

own
my
education

my

booking

and

self
him-

part, neither

were

careful, that

so

high respect for the


very
disdain
for his victim.

contemptuous

very

CKEGAN.

suspects bow

road.

same

CON

OF

and

rogue,

it was,
with a
one
bright sunny
that
keen frost and
kind of sharp air that invigoratesand
braces both mind
and body.
The crisp,clear outline of every
tree and building seen
against the deep blue sky ; the sparkling
with
its
clean
bed
of
and
the
river,
bright gravel ;
ruddy
of
faces one
all
to suggest pleasantand
are
a nature
meets,
cheerful thoughts. Even
frail fragments
we
we, with our
and
felt it, and
there was
chapped hands
an
alacrityof
movement
and
a
bounding step, a gay laugh and a merry
voice, everywhere. All set out for Kingstown, in the neighborhood
came,

"

"

"

of

which

the

race

to

was

I alone

off.

come

behind, resistingevery entreaty


my
I cannot
join them,
yet say why I did
of

to

"

mained
re-

companions
It

so.

was

attendance
the
partly that long habit had made
my
upon
notion
a
Captain
duty ; partly,perhaps, that some
vague
that the letter,of which
I still kept possession,should
be
delivered
at last.
by me
The
town
not
was
a carriage,
quite empty on that day,
' '

"

"

nor

horseman

and

the
I

Square
never

be

to

deserted

was

felt

more

There

seen.

of

were

all,save

tedious

very

few

its nursery

morning.

I had

foot,

on

tion.
populafull time,

solitude with
along all alone, to contrast
my
the enjoyment my
at that same
moment
companions were
pursuing.
True
to the instant, Captain De
Courcy cantered up, his
face a thought graver
and
than I had ever
stern
seen
more
rup,
it before.
As
he dismounted, my
hand, in holding his stirsoiled the brilliant polish of his lacquered boot ; he perceived
as

I loitered

it,and
of

his

whip.

give him
from

rewarded
A

the note

minute
; now,

with
awkwardness
my
I had
made
before
up
torture

itself would

not

smart

cut

my mind
have torn

to

it

me.

the house,
my eyes till he entered
blinded
it is true, for they were
somewhat
distinctly,

I followed
not

over

by

tears

that

him

with

would, in spiteof

"

me,

come

forth.

The

sensa-

tion

was

have

confess

Scarcely

and
I
painful one;
seldom
experienced

most

he would

that

deliver, and

to

awaited

the

fate ?

Either

were

advisable

says that
the lamb."

which

that

the

for

bered
remem-

failed

"

what

be

to

was

patientlyawait my
latter certainlythe less
soon
suggested itself,

fly,or

; the
course

adage

mischief-working

most

be

may

one

voted

I therefore

and

third

one

grave

enough

inspired by

doubtless

as

bad

the two.

of

was

loose

mare

I had

note, which

it.

of

recurrence

to

likelihood,a heavy punishment

all

offence

My

Turn

done?

in

heartilyglad

am

him, when

on

of the

hear

soon

that,

me.

closed

hall-door

the

was

61

WORLD.

THE

IN

OPENING

AN

FOR

STROKE

BOLD

larger animal

the

for

hanged

well

"as

"

and

to

sheep

satisfy

ately
to my
convictions, I immediown
myself that I was honest
I led the mare
them.
quietly
proceeded to act upon
then, turning into
along to the angle of the Square, and
the stirrups,
mounted, and rode
the next
street, I shortened
off.

proverb; and
I have
is only meant
figuratively,
although the consequence
a
suspicion that it might bear a literal reading. I rode
"Set

first,at

at

away,

beggar

trot, and

the road

I took

"

horseback

on

to

the

says

"

then, striking into

Kingstown, whither,

brisk

ter,
can-

yet,

even

some

hastening.
elevated
spirits
Every stride of the bounding animal
my
The
and
nerved
foot-passengers, that plodded
courage.
my
as
inferior; with the
upon
wearily along, I looked down

horsemen

were

horsemen

on

either side I felt

does

view

one

ground

thicker

crowds

road

The

the

The

"ragged
at

desert

the

open

gate

Following
low

wall

into

urchin

group

on

well-mounted

the

advanced,

numerous

riages
car-

perhaps, I
their

troubled

were

heads

thoroughbred."

the

dense

high road, and


an
easily crossed
of

as

and

from

stranger sights

none

so

and

moment,

attention; but

last became

or

another

At

instant, and

every

crowd

fain to
an

at

the

about

way.

attracted

have

passing

thronged

more

ferently
dif-

How

equality.
saddle

the

life from

became

of

pressed eagerly forward,

obstructed
should

kind

take

that
short

fence

horsemen
cuts

opened

were

wherever
the

gentlemen,

way.
I cleared a

which

cantered

spacious grass field,over

we

62

CONFESSIONS

OF

beyond this,by leaping

and

the

kind, till

CON

an

CREGAN.

ditch, into another

easy

of

the vast
crowds
that
length we
saw
blackened
hill in front, and, beneath them, could
guish
distina
the flattering
the course,
and
the
flags that marked
of the winning-post.
large floatingstandard
same

What

at

that!
For
what
is so imposing
grand sight was
spectacleas vast myriads of people stirred by one interest,
a

animated

and

by

absorbing passion?

one

Every

has

one

I shall
something of the kind, therefore
nowadays seen
not
lingerto tell of the impression it made
youthupon
my ful
had
The
first
but
senses.
the
race
already come
off;
of the day, was
second, and the great event
yet to take
place.
It was
a steeplechaseby " gentlemen riders
over
a very
"

severe

line of

character

; several

country

having

been

added

fences

of

the natural

to

break-neck

most

difficulties of the

ground.
Mounted

on

I reached

deep

and

the
wide

trench, backed

leap,
clear

and

by

requiring

both

rail,

low

"

and

stride

till
a

"

midable
for-

very

strength

to

it.

Some

"

splendid barb, I rode boldly forward


my
field through which
the first ditch ran,

of 'em

will tail off, when

they

sees

that ! "

said

an

English groom, with a knowing wink ; and the words were


seen
only out when, at a " slapping canter," the riders were
rode
Three
the gently sloping hill.
coming down
nearly
after
abreast ; then
horseman
a
came
him, an
single
; and,
indiscriminate
whose
bright and party-coloredjackets
mass,
glowed like a rainbow.
interest ; as they came
I watched
them
with a breathless
between
the space
nearer
them, and each cast
they widened
he rode
a rapid but
stealthyglance at his neighbor. One
took the lead, and, dashing at the
horse
a powerful black
and
too
fell,chested
against the
leap, his horse rose
soon,
denly
sudopposite bank, the rider under him ; the next swerved
"

"

round

and

balked

the

leading horseman
Quickening his speed
fly; and when he did
of

cannon-shot,

"

he

take
up,

he

now

was
as

third

; the

came

the

and

did
who

on,

rode
he

fence, it
over

at

the

same

alone

seemed
was

once!

; so

at

that
first.

actuallyto

like the

Of

the

bound
rest,

64

CONFESSIONS

tin.'mare

bolter,

rises.

she

cut

as

boy

have

fair

You

he.

These

try your
have

Make

moment's

mare's

hesitation

flanks, and

perfectshower

of

of

I well
was

knew,

it.

over

beside

if I win

advance, and

ears
my
Before

number,

my
loud

few

seconds

done,
race

at

crowd,

without

heels

to the

shout, and

the

the reach

wall, and,

standers
byof
ere

after, the blue- jacket


You've

lad!

my

Lead

the

added

the

quarter from

was

choose
her ground
let your
mare
of
all he said ; but such words
was
on

mare's

more

the

to

for

pulling up beyond

of

"Well

me.

twenty guineas

minute

heard;

the

he does

win!"

forward.

the

on

too, if you

kind, I dashed

galloped

whips

and

five-pound note

me

any

yonder,
a
sharp

give her
there, gentlemen ! Let

stakes

for

put all question

possibility. In

head,

last words

clearingin front, opened

that wall

over

nag

I '11 wager

half the

the

were

her

way

play, and

shall have

it!

"

her

Let

boldly.

go

"

as

CREGAN.

CON

OF

when

earned

the way
a bit, and
she leaps." This

encouragement

never

fell

before.
us

and

were

the

others,

evidently holding

now

their

reduced
stride

to
and

three

in

watching

BOLD

FOR

STROKE

for

feared
fence
mare

"Out

!"

them

at

and

shouting out,
And

they

the

did !

he

so

ones,

the

others arrived

horsemen
of

See

'T is

"

heartilyto
Be

"

"

perilsof

subscribe

a"

before
be

VOL..

of

them

could

over

all !
beat

"

the

chap ! "
ye ought to have, my
the unwashed
all sides seemed
on

to.

who

' '

hundred

and

similar
believe

men
gentlelike

comments,
that

all the

rejoicingamong
member

their

It

great battle
have,

"

like fame.

all flatteries.
that

for

when

the lists with

i.

was

led

that

; he

mare

losing

approach

best

actuallyforgot

great occasion

fought between

those

If the

chap

pelled
com-

in

my

dangers

and

offence.

anything

to enter

triumph
my

achieved

est

small

the

was

"

sentiment

wretchedness

of

crowd,

the rest.

the

ordered

was

soul, I 'd rather be lookin' at him than the


my
said a very
tattered individual, with a coat

momentary

and

the

the

rode

The

misfortune.

on

laughed at, my

transparency. These, and


fell like hail-drops around

It is

when

with

"There's

on

critics

from

than

greater

disappointed,and,
insultingcomments

most

behind

took

mare

fiftyguineas in goold

said another,
most

and

ragged boy
!

fallen and

bold

were

in advance.

minute

His

much

was

keen

little fellow

That

that

speed

my
distance

triumphal entry.

field this minute


"

her

mare

hooted

were

the wall !
"

extricate

to

pace,

along, my

they

afterwards.

dropped

ride the whole

to

him

somewhat

I had

Come

"

all then- efforts,and

as

are

tremendous

rest,

receiving the

who

mob,

but, unable

all together,crest

last, for

came

kind

65

WORLD.

"

in full half

men,

at

me

the

by

way
With

came

like all beaten

past

went

flying,and

others',she

the

tore

overtook

never

fence

from

THE

moment

he

he

as

lads ! I '11 show

each

IN

OPENING

suspecting that the most


One
fast creeping up behind
them.
competitor was
this I led again, sittingmy
separated us, and over
of
with
all the
old
an
steeplechaser.
composure
cried my
of the way,
now!"
let
companion, "and

other, never

each

me

AN

The

their

own

assertion

of

betters

"

is, so

to

which,

one

day

classes

which

the two
and

of

those

who

is the

say,

have

the

not-

kind

men

of
order

their

very
of

rags
has

ability

pleasantskirmish,

other, remains
divide mankind,

to

or

"

66

CONFESSIONS

OF

I little suspected that

present, "the
late

I was,

success.

myself, and
mob, fullyconvinced
Mister
Beatagh

wants

the

out

that I

4 '

ditch,"
rulfian,as he shoved
shouted

the

to

the cant

use

popular

so

at

principle"
in my
representativeof a gkeat
I took all the praises bestowed, most
literally,
shook
hands
with all the dirty and tattered

to

for

C REGAN.

CON

approach

to
a

the

of

was

the

a
see

very fine fellow.


the boy that led him

over

huge, wide-shouldered,red-faced
crowd
right and left to make
way
who
had
the
gentleman
just won

race.

Stand

"

"

whispered one
up bowld, avic !
don't be ashamed
to ax
for your reward."
"
Say ten guineas ! muttered another.

in my

and

"

ear,

"

No

"

; but

"And

"

twenty !

lashings of
suggested a

growled
drink

out

third.

besides, for

the

big-headed cripple

present

about

pany!"
com-

feet

two

high.
"Are

lad

the

you

that

took

the fence

before

me?"

cried

with a white
smart-looking,red-whiskered
man,
young
surtout
his riding costume.
looselythrown over
"
Yes, sir," I replied,half modestly and half assured.
"
Who
do you come
from?"
are
you, my boy, and where
"He's
chickens!
of Betty Cobbe's
shouted
out
one
an
old savage-faced beggar-man, who
was
terriblyindignant
at the great misdirection
of public sympathy; "and
a nice
clutch they are !
out

"

"

is it to

"What
bread
had

"

Never

mind

gentleman.
find

"Sure,

to

out

at

most

joyous

seminary.

same

lad !

me,

answer

willing to

my
take

"

said

service, and

the
can

"

you
bail for

"

burst

of

to

"

amount!"

any

his

laughter ran

"

bowl;

"

through

and
the

sentiment.

the
ye

fellow, with

sugar
in the same

you are
recommend

in the

him
all go
the little crippledfellow, from

"Maybe
own

but

we'll

certainlya
crowd

them,
If

"

one

any

shouted

the crayture gets his


Dan, where
newsvender, who, in all likelihood,

rejoined an
been a parlor boarder

once

' '

you,
old

think

grin

hogshead

I'm
of

assumed

householder," rejoined the


' '

anger ;
live in, and devil

to

premises !

not

"

but
receave

have

n't I my
the lodger

BOLD

"

STROKE

FOR

there 's

see

here," said
the

matter

lad,
my
that can

of

then

for

speak

than

own

forcing his way, with the


denied, left the place.
den

he's

"

cried
fabric

of the

of

These

good

settle thing
anypeople think

meet

to-morrow,

; so

o'clock,and

bring
he

As

mob,

who

and

these

few

whip,

and

would

far-

all the

saw

bout

be

not

givin'him

suddenly

drunken

his

who

man

anything

me

said

side with

crayture without

carouse

able to

ours

ah- of

the

laving
one

being

character."
your
the crowd
to one

brushed

"And

"

67

WORLD.

THE

IN

our

gentleman.

Dycer's, at twelve

at

he

words

chance

no

the

more

OPENING

AN

rious
glolike

disappear

mirage.
"Oh,

the 'tarnal

the

won

who

yez

appeared

street
he

his

by

"We'll

take

fellow, if you

smart

policeman,
the

with

crowd

mare,

he

collar,

my

my

he

that

said another,
be

practised

dissolute

"

orphan

ould

'

Ireland
of

"

"

too, my

you
"

said a
pretty lively!
others, he pushed through
off

two

determination

them.

that

did

you

be

to

seems

Then, laying a strong


"How

on:

"

to

orphan, and

brush

cool

went

or

the

by

instinct with

actuallyan
on

of

don't

that

and

"

dignantly
in-

more

chayted out of his pater


are
yez dirty slaves of the

's murderin'

followed

as,

way

wronged?

the

be

all?

at

charge

a-

manner

lave

"to

"

Are
money?
yez men
bloody 'stokessy ' that

another,

"

yez

"desolate"

meant

that

pretentious

"Will

orator.

shouted

little crayture

the

see

"

child

the

him

for

race

Will

"

desart

"to

vagabone

hand

that

by

come

"

lad ?

"She

pital,"
belongs to Captain De Courcy, of the Royal Hossaid I, doing my
utmost
to seem
calm and
collected.
know
"We
that already; what
want
to hear is,what
we
n't Captain De Courcy 's
brought you here with her ? It was
orders
"

' '

"

No,

sir.

And

so

time, my
Have
Do
you
"

you
you
know

you
lad.

rode

Now,

notion

any
know

that

what

No, sir;

told to hold

was

the

I know

off with

let

her

her,
ask

me

of the crime

it amounts

penalty
neither

"

him, and
out

with

"

"

and

it, it

"

saves

another
question :
you
have
?
just committed
you

to

is for
one

for

nor

horse-stealing? And
that

the

do

offence?"

other," said I,

res-

G8

OF

CONFESSIONS

to live upon

He's

"

the

prison

diet

policemen. "Take
general bat subdued

very
from

the

mare

was

It

crowd,
led off

terrible

As

in the streets

starve

"

remarked
ye that !
him
and
off, Grimes!"
of

murmur

dragged

was

on

to

as

much.

matter

I told

'mi;

bad

did, it does n't

ii* I

oliitfly;"and,

CBEGAN.

CON

on

away

another

condolence

side, while

one

of

amid

so,

and

pity

well

"

the

another.
tumble

from

down,

being a hero to an
ing
embryo felon ; from being cheered
by the populace, to becollared
by a policeman ! As we went
along towards
Dublin
on
a
ratives
regaled by interestingnarjaunting-car,I was
of others who
had
begun life like myself, and took
too decorous.
an
abrupt leave of it in a manner
by no means
The
which
peculiarityof anecdote
pertains to each profession
in these officers of the law ; and
was
strongly marked
nature
they appeared to have studied the dark side of human
and
with eyes the keenest
most
scrutinizing.
I wish I could even
now
forget the long and dreary hours
of the night that ensued, as I lay, with some
fiftyothers, in
the jailof the station-house.
The
was
assuredly
company
not
their
at
all
select, nor
manners
improved by the near
if all the disguises
as
approach of punishment. It seemed
off at once,
of vice were
thrown
and that iniquitystood forth
in its own
and
true
glaring livery. I do not believe that
the
an
"

was

heart

can

the
and

marks

in

never,

There

to

are

shuddering

terror

as

stamp

life-long afterwards,
be a quarantine
should

expose

any

"

not

classified
Nor

the

unfortunate

contagion !
guiltless,

; and

I do
in the

me
was

with
a

not

the

doubt
to

by

but

my
associates

night

in

into

self-esteem

disease

or

one

whose

that, sends
cold

thrill is

eradicated.

such

rectitude

of

the

crime

by

for

should
of

chances

this to

into

brethren

the
as

suspected guilt,as

for

creature

least ;

with

thoroughly

mere

affect

the

heart, whose

the

through

when

associates

such

to one's

like this

you

than

welcomed

of

one

suspected disease

have

received

guild of vice, is reallyan awful blow


respect ; to feel yourself inoculated

fatal

not

be

shock

ruder

unfledged criminal first hears himself


Masonry" of guilt. To be claimed by

fellow-laborer, to

experience

ever

rible
ter-

say that I was


should
scarcely

whom

company

was

the

rounded.
sur-

wisest

BOLD

STROKE

FOR

OPENING

AN

THE

IN

69

WORLD.

restoring to the path of duty one who might possibly


the straightline.
have
only slightlydeviated from
marched
"When
I was
off, with a strong
morning came
phalanx of other misdoers, to the College Street office,where
calumniators
bitterest
could
a
magistrate presided whose
of any undue
accuse
never
leanings towards mercy.
By him
the satisfaction
of hearing a great variety of small
I had
decided
with a railroad
offences
rapidity,only interrupted
and
then
the
now
over
lenityof
by a whining lamentation
that never
awarded
the legislature,"
tithe of the suitable
one
for the
inabilityto do more
penalty, and bewailing his own
mode

of

"

criminal

labor, and
last

At

came

choked

me

felt

as

though

and

that

aim

there

see

stand

greatest criminal

to

appear,

for

"

aide-de-camp, titles
to

respect,

was

nigh

and

other

"

of

beside

the

between

averring that
; the

rules of court

deeply

not

universe,

other

no

object

or

the

was,
he

captain

not

therefore,despatched
would

have

and

great bustle

and
well

disposed
in the

ness
kind-

the

honorable

an

called

were

when

Courcy,

sittingjustice knew

the

cases

was

De

to

outer

an

how

of.

It

court

crowd, accompanied
fallingback of the dense
of
ostentatious
an
police zeal, heralded
display
jingling spurs and banging
officers,who, with

sabretaches, made

most

in the

tremendous

group

throat.

offence.
my
before I was
desired

which

o'clock

three

by

seats

had

aloud, it

arraigned for

me

being in court. While a policeman


by the magistrate to request that

in the

fulness

nervous

scarcelyordered to advance
back
again, the prosecutor, Captain

was

hard

with

it shouted

I heard

as

assemblage

vast

months

two

it.

sweeten

the

the whole

for

prison

; and

with
was

to

to

name

my

than

to

diet

harder

almost

him

send

than

way

to

justice. Many
the

the

bench, and

magistrate

and

took

courtesies

the

were

their
changed
inter-

the

captain : one
venient
slightestdegree incon-

delay was not in the


other
professing the greatest deference for the
bestowing a thought upon him most
; neither
the

concerned

very

their

brief

of all.

narrative, delivered

by

the

captain

with

militaryabruptness,detailed my offence ; and, although


ruptions
exaggerated in the slightestdegree, the occasional interof the magistrate served
very considerably to mag-

70

CONFESSIONS

uify
pure

its

OF

CON

guilt, such us "Dear


Arab; a present from your

favorite

noble

!" and

so

Little-

the

accustomed

done
peroration of regret that, as hanging was
now
with, he feared that the recorder could only award

turning

observations

"

1 have

only

most,

to

you

with

which

minor

the

What

"that

! have

I have

worship,"
the

The

got

we

enjoyed
said

I,

said

stands

Captain

De

he

last,

at

stand

some

"and

in the

and

fear

happy

am

will
I

dock

state

to

the

nature

of

in the

to extenuate

the

assertion.
Honorable

am

which

trust, whose

trust ; that

said

legalstudy, your
that my
opinion

to

at

together.

discredit

not

"

Courcy

seek

thus

charged amounts,

of trust."

lawyer

solent
in-

in your

mistaken

probably

are

air of most

an

employed by the
perform a particularduty,

the distinct
not

I, with

anger
opportunitiesof

instance

present

case

I do

as

of breach

one

magistrate, reddening with

in

rather
reserve
you
your
I shall certainlycommit

suggest," said

to

law.

"

sirrah?"

say,
would

time?

another

composure,
The
offence

' '

to

"or

me;

for

me

trial at the commission."

for

you

anything

you
towards

away

life !

transportationfor
"Have

abandoned

case;

closingwith

on;

mare;

father, Lord

treatment; abominable

scoundrel

young

me!

"

infamous

more;

CREGAN.

is of

importance

I fail in.
slightest,

I will

and a great specplead the strong temptation of a race


tacle.
I will not allege,as perhaps I might, the example of

not

companions, then revelling in all the pleasures of the


fact can
be adduced
to
day. I will simply say that no one
favor
the suspicion of a meditated
robbery ; and that my
and
conduct, so palpably open
public, rejects the least
my

of

assumption

the

what

nothing beyond
breach

' '

to

the

they 've

"That's
cried

at

the

utmost

establish

can

willingto plead guilty to,

am

"

of trust."

"Listen
himself

kind, and

the

in

Attorney-General!
the

chap

dock
can

"

said

give

them

By

the

hokey,

it's

one.

chapter and

varse!"

another.
Silence

justice,now

there !

Keep

reallywarm

know, sirrah," said

silence
with

in

the

passion.

he, addressing

me,

"

court

"I'd
that

!"
have

your

said
you

the
to

pettifog-

72

CONFESSIONS

like

lad?"

him, my

OF

said

air of easy
"A

Bank,
The

the

I '11have

"

said,
to

for

scanning

the

the

we

game

"Well,"
I

see

said

he,

was

have

taken

cautions
pre-

"

stared

at

There

are

steadily

me

we

each

were,

win

to

terms?

your

other,

or

never

You

"

But

"

You

orders

justicethat
to

of

secure

me

to

me

much

don't

each

other."

that

you

was

you

some

how

or

This

done,

hour, and

an

an

accidental

what,

care

half

for

it

; some

from

within

hand

committed

or

we

promise?

keep your

me," said I, carelessly; "I

have

"

no

give."

"Why

not
I

return

speak

You

are

impudence
I had

to

which
need

the

has

neither

home

save

of my
nor

the

policeman,
?

cold

"

"

for

the

note,

voice

in

smiling.

he,

at the

steady

discussion.

assumed

friend

said I,
cried

in the

be," repliedI, in

feigned hardihood
on,

the

justice?"

I maintained

the

with

now,

is to go bail for you


cool fellow,by Jove

who

Then

rely

your
"

life,
rags all my
I dislike to have
it said

so

tell the

than

wear

arraigned

more

trust

must

to

before

is to

who

and

very little
this
to have

I ask

fact,

to

must

in your

much

see

in

more,

explanation comes

I '11 place the note


need

time.

saves

mean

ever

of

mistake

or

"it

I ;

You

will he, if the

him!"

word.

vagabonds,

circumstance

to

anything belonging

"I

chair, and

don't

with
that

blunder

"

is safe

note

nothing

"

like this.

offence

"

anger

"

last; "what

at

best," said

so

hereafter

"

If

I, composedly;

upon
without

were

consort

bail

ill-restrained

of

wards
to-

step

one

inwardly calculatinghow
playing.

your honor,
charge dismissed.

nor

made

other, and

from

and

the

give in."

And

"

you

that ; the

minutes

some

from

"

himself

threw

He

he

sirrah !

searched,

upon
fear, sir," said

against

issued

never

voice

low

is found

me

No

"

in

you

it

"

give him?

you

deadly pale ;

and

door,

could

poorly, an

very

"

value !

became

captain

What

although

without

not

one

CREGAN.

he, affecting,but
"

composure.
note, sir; and

CON

different

very
"

part.
the world

recklessness

of

what

The
has

from

boy

who

little else

may

befall

curl

saw

between

us,

of

contempt

cried

"Well!"

"

he,

you shall be
left the room
as

and

share

your

you
free."
he

Then

"

but

I '11be

nodded,

He
he

round

neither
to

this that

see

"

the

first time

for the
broke

from

me,

the

and

honor

there

ever

with

few

moments

discharged !

are

to

be in half

tice,
jusentered
re-

Now

"

hour?

an

note," said I.

the

out.

of
me.

in others

did

nor

There

me.

It

him

watched

policeman,

became

seen

You

in

the

Place."

walked

spoke
what

but

spoke,

to

bargain."

actually awed

I had
"fas

the

Club, Foster

the

"At

of

will your

Where

"

captain'slip at

wish; I'll speak

as

it,saying, " All is right!


for

the

upon

73

WORLD-

THE

IN

it "cant."

deemed

He

OPENING

AN

when,
speech; for now,
single genuine sentiment

this

of

energy

he

FOR

STROKE

BOLD

he turn

trait

that

at

so

once

him

to

his head

something

was

was

gentleman's" spirit,
enabling

he went

as

in

unlike

anything
perceived it
feel

confi

74

deuce

in

even

Lesson

No

again

till

wait
of

as

He

thrust

it

word
said

been

mainly

seen

the

he,

as

speeded

half-hour

an

inesti-

appeared

he
he

"

me,

handed

so

and
had

troubled

never

saw

and

Betty's,

to

expired.

he

that

hour;"

an

before

"I

genteelly

if

they

don't

his

into

carelessly
chucked

piece,

world

the

once

The

was.

sure

to

was

himself

long

here?

him

the

"

note

spoke.

crown

friend

"

about

sir,

"Yes,

the

before

my

Ha

"

as

has

than

than

however,

keeping

me.

life

more

large

at

long
five,

near

my

about

was

sooner

wanderer

My

have

REGAN.

"trusting."

of

back

street

me.

on

and

value

was

lost

one,

mable

ragged

poor

not

was

imitative

he

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

it

sabretache,

towards

hang

you,

saying,

me,

'11

you

pulling

and,

make

"

out

Good-bye,

some

noise

nod;

anc*

in

yet."
mean

it,

touching

sir,"
my

said

cap

I,
in

with

salute,

familiar

walked

away.

so,

SKwarga

mm.

AT

CHOP"

QUIET

"A

AND

"KMLLEEN'S,"
GLANCE

NEW

AT

very

wistfully

CHARACTER.

F LOOKED
at

broad

my

piece
of

palm

within

excited

hundreds
mind

my
such

the

esteemed

important

that

pair

of

the

shoes

few
I

exceeding
my
It

sum.

and

edifice, when

what
the

roof

condition,

five

would

buy

in

use
was

in

"

the
not

and

to

as

rich,"

effect

more

me

in

arose

shillings

repairing
in ruin?

ses
posses-

being,

of

since

it

economists

"passing

poor,

not

face

spent;

what

place

back,

minutes

was

in

change

inadequate

most

in

be

to

was

between

that,

its

who

there

Then

it

how

is there

demand,

myself

perceived

once

of

connection

and

supply

question

feelings

his

of

them.

of

thousands

grave

strange

call

of

inklings

some

me,

with

stirring sensations

felt, by the

and

hand,

my

lay

platter

honest,
the

it

as

crown

at

any

was

than

foundation
to

speak

of

76

CONFESSIONS

OF

CON

CREGAN.

other

my

garments, to get into which, each morning, by the


a feat that might have
apertures as before, was
puzzled

Bame

harlequin.

of
bethought me
at
Betty's; but,

next

brethren

with

sympathy
pleased

be

to

giving an entertainment
after
all, they had shown

to

in my
late misfortune, and
seemed
rid of a dangerous professional rival.

my
little

rather

me

This,

lurking desire to leave the fraternity,decided


me
against this plan.
Then
the thought of entertainingmyself, giving mycame
self
a speciesof
congratulatory dinner on my escape ; and,
in fact, commemorating
the event
the most
by anticipating
and

fashionable

mode

I canvassed
could
and

in

now

the

notion

use.

with

starting the

summon,

answering

with

them

skill and

all the

fairness

objections against it,


to
seemed
myself a most

various
what

judicial impartiality.
"Who

does

intimate

friends?"

him,

whose

and

or

cordial

own!

And

conceived

intercourse

sincere

it to

whom

had

from

I such

their

station

unrestrained

an

myself? Whose
society never
companionship always interested me?
My

who,
a

with

Now,

whose

wearied,

is valuable

acquaintance

influence.

and

his
usually entertain," said I, "but
Those
whose
agreeabilityis pleasing to

man

of

as

all the

and

heartfelt

"Con

all others?

enthusiastically."In

persons

had

ever

desire

for my
Cregan, it is

confidence

with,
welfare, preferring
met

you,"

said

I,

is

complete. I
believe you incapable of ever
Come, then, and
forgettingme.
let us
pledge our friendship over
a
flowing bowl."
Where,
I

was

not

too,

was

going

you

the next

the

I to

gain

doubt?

to descend

to

coalheavers, newsvenders,
was

my

access

to

and

some

With

to

crown

subterranean

den

umbrella-hawkers.

better-class

ordinary,

"

spend,
among

But

how

that

was

difficulty, who would admit the street-runner, in his rags,


into even
a brief
intimacy with his silver forks and spoons?
it was
And
such a scale as a
on
preciselyto an entertainment
good tavern could supply that I aspired. It was to test my
own
stimulant,
feelingsunder a new
just as I have often
since seen
with
themselves
people experiment upon
grave
"

"

laughing-gas and

magnetism

and

the

fumes

of

ether.

"A

CHOP"

QUIET

"

AT

for you,
be too much
may
"there's
no
knowing what

"It

along;

77

KILLEEN'S."

Con," said

I,

effect

it may

not

attuned

I went

as

have

on

nerves.

your

that

Remember

"

Your

variations.

vagaries

may
disturb

elevation

too sudden

is

system

your

and

extravagant,

prove

such

to

the

naturallycorrect judgment."
I pleaded the necessityof not
Against
being ungrateful to myself, not refusing a very proper acknowledgment
and
of my
skill
astuteness
own
; and, lastly,
I suggested a glancing kind of hope that, like those famed
to having gone
dated then
heroes who
to sleep
great fortune
fountain,

magic

of

shadow

the

beneath
of

may
these doubts

banquet with

I reasoned

with
of

kind

beef

charmed

that

I, too, should

clear

bright and
fancy.

As

some

brilliant view

some

success,

of

your

of

before

daintilytricked

with

out

arise

that

hams

might tempt

ripple

from
the

see

the

this

path

hazy

to

mists

ordinaries,stopping
at

the

sprigs

luscious
of

appetizing cold sirloins,so beautifullystratified


lean; with

the

near

through

me,

of instinct at each, to gaze

so

or

life,and

passed various

thus,

tree,

rabbi;

rounds

parsley;
with
to

not

the

fat and

speak

of

provocative little paragraphs about ' ' Ox-tail and


Queer world it is," said I;
Gravy ready at all hours."
ties,
and
there are
passing at every instant, by tens and twenand
and
children, famishing and hungry,
men
women
all these
them
who
see
things separated from
by a pane of
window-glass ; and yet they only gather their rags more
move
closely together, clench their thin lips tighter,and
to buy what
Not that alone ; but here am
I, with means
on.

certain

"

"

and

I want,

though my

as
"

Move

and

thus

of
over

Tavern
and
with

must

not

should

venture
be

to

end

to

my

to

insult

an
a

that

cross

to

then

policeman

at

this moment,

soliloquy.

rambling, and almost despairing of myself,


Carlisle Bridge, when
gence
the blazing effulcross

bold

Chop House,"
of

threshold,

broadcloth."

great ruby-coloredlamplight attracted


which, in bright letters,ran the words,

pint
a

an

with

and

rags

put

about

was

youngster," quoth

on,

Wearied
I

yet

stout,

one

thought,

and

beneath:

shilling and

I turned

and

"Steak,

"

tion,
attenmy
Killeen's

potatoes,

fourpence."
approached the

Armed
house.

78

CONPBSSIONB

Two

door, and

in white

waiters,

three

or

CllEGAN.

CON

OF

standing

were
aprons,
little inclination to make

showed

for

way

the

at

me

as

advanced.
"

Well," cried

"who

one,

you?

are

Nobody

for

sent

you."
fellow," said the other; "this

smart

"Tramp,
my
your shop."

this Killeen's?"

"Isn't

said

an't

I, stoutly.

so," said the first,a little surprised at my coolness.


Well, then, a young
gentleman from the college sent

"Just
"

dinner

order

to

me

him

for

at

and

once,

it at

for

pay

the

time."

same

"What
"

Soup,
of

kind

and

at

What

have?"

steak, with
I had

did

's

old

half-pay

in Foster

officers

Place.

and

coming down;

told

he

the

just the

"

say?

He

at seven,

heard

of the Club

he

instant.

pint of port," said I

often

the door

hour

"This
the mail

he

dinner

talkingof
"

will

it

to have

me

he

as

by

starts

the table when

on

he

came."
"All

right; four-and-six,"
for

his hand
I

"

crown
piece ; and as he fumbled
my
I insinuated
myself quietlyinto the hall.

"

Of

said

change, boy,"

your

be

you

for

paper

good, sir," said I,

so

waiter;

the

the

"you

course," said

my address
reappeared with a small
Dinner

and

"I'm

to

"Very

well, so

for

him

you

of

scrap

pint of port,

wait

"to

'

write

paid

'

on

"

gentleman?
possibly by the flattering
he, taken
and soon
; and he stepped into the bar,
just to show

me,

of
civility

"

for

stop."

Will

slipof

out

the money.

"There's
n't

waiter, holding

the

him

gave

sixpence
need

said

4s.

the

paper,

6d.

these

with

words

paid."

"

here, sir," said

quiously.
obse-

most

I,

can," replied he, passing

to the

on

coffee-room.
I

peeped through

the little boxes

the

into which

glass door, and


the

decanter

for

in

that

divided,

place was

just spread, and a soup-tureen and


"This," thought I, "is for me;"

saw

all the

one

table

placed
other

on

of
was

it

boxes

80

CONFESSIONS

bursting with

seemed

expect

eat

to

me

this

Now,

without

and

for

conforming

the choicest

to

The
late

too

believed

who

steak

here !

in

been

doing,

What

"

take,
mis-

in every respect
life ! What
was

almost

that

rebuke

"

to be

cried

so

"

"

high
disappeared; no

had

don't

You

"

sir?

of

usages

voice

said,

mustard!

himself

learn, and

to
"

he

as

mustard,

without

steak

one

to be done?

mustard

"

CREGAN.

actuallypurple.
thing 1 had myself

the very

was

actuallyeating

never

steak

CON

indignation

the waiter grew

which

at

OF

matter, it
"

out,

was

Waiter, the

electrified the

whole

room.

scarcely concealed

I had
"

The

with

Times,"

when

"

the mustard

humble

beneath

myself

curtain,

my
set down

was

for

"

before

waited

forgetfulness.
apology
withdrew, and then helping myself to the unknown
In
proceeded to eat it,as the phrase is, " neat."
a

I swrallowed
effects

and

seized

almost

then

sensation

felt

eyes

if

as

mad

me

of

would

they

like

; so

drop

after three

that

with

down

was

could

laughter
fellow?

those

matter

difficulties the

uproar

or

ten

of

years

that

"

was

staringeyes,

and

nostrils,
my
four seconds
of

he

my

head-waiter

him

Had

animal

an

the

among

might

get in?

with

ran

be

traced

the

intrusion.
What

"

poured

different
is this

"Who

on

thought it better

here?

him

brought
in

from

the
company,
in the mingled

greater; and

be

resented

who

did

How

's the

scarce

execrations

and

of

an

appeared

menagerie

consternation

moods

such

seen

wild-beast

by

head

my

the coffee-room.

Never

What

mouth

wide-open

thrice its

to

in

silent agony,
during which I experienced about
out
I screamed
torture, unable to endure more,

poisoned," and,

choking

of

out

frying,"

"

ness,
eagermy
I felt its

and

swell

to

me,

till he

delicacy,

before

burning

tongue seemed

tingling sensation,

drove

mouthfuls

three

or

My

me.

upon

size ; my
while a

two

all
to

sides,
"

deal

with

speedy expulsion than by any lengthened explanation.


in comhe to the next
said
mand
"Get
a
policeman, Bob!
the order was
given loud enough to be heard by
; and
a

"

me.

the

"What

looking

man

devil threw
in green

him

amongst

spectacles.

us?"

said

testy-

"A

"

pint of

wine,

wait

as

Well, sir !

"

and

steak

my
as

might

one

and

me,

and

my
have

obliged

was

continue.

to

for my
said
true, Sam?"

Is that

"

have

in

its subsidence

for

81

KILLEEN'S."

"to

hoped,
comfort,
tavern."
a respectable
jollyburst of laughter stopped

it in

to

"

AT

dine, sir," said I;

to

came

CHOP"

QUIET

paid

dinner

"
"

shrewd-looking

to the

man

waiter.

"Quite true,
the dinner

the

for

was

I have

"

sir! he

in

been

paid four-and-sixpence,saying that


a College gentleman."
College,"said I, coolly; but no matter,
"

thing is simple enough

entertainment,

the

proprietors

of

for a specific
; and
money
purpose
whether
refuse
admission
they can
individual
Term

(see Barnes

Reports
in the

others,

is founded

Hobbes

and

before

me,

in evident

I could

he of
of the Court

and

at

of

my

here

presence

mirth

again stopped me,


had
the company
gathered round
legal knowledge ; and in particular,
my
roar

was

said he.

"

well-known

attorney

of Conscience.

fellow 's

That

that

spectacles,who

the

to

against Blinkerton, Soaker,

resume,

delight

of

public
which
have
accepted my
putting aside the question

I contend

Appendix)

house

well-conducted
any
MacTivell, in the 8th volume

versus

contract."
upon
and
still louder

Another

"

; and

in

here

am

gem

"

Hang

if he 's not

me

what
equal to Bleatem ! Sam, take care
you do ; he 's the
come
chap to have his action against you ! I say, my man,
and sit down
here, and let us have a little chat together."
"Most
"Waiter,
sir," responded I.
bring my
willingly,
This
the signal for another
wine over
to this table."
was
shout, of which I did not deign to take the slightestnotice.
"I'll

him

before

course

check
"A

head.
VOL.

Tell

an

assent.

together;
the

audible

few

words
father

My
I.

"

and

lad, did n't you

my
cut
"

my

one

out

Who

the

work

for

Mr.

the devil is he?

appearance

and

ride

manner

seen

the

over

Beatagh
"

the

of

I have

"

now

me,

yesterday,and

I bowed
three

whom

party, among

oysters," exclaimed
seated myself,
that

hundred

wager

cried two
did

"

or

not

expression of this sentiment.


that
will suffice,gentlemen," said I, "on
estated gentleman, of small, but
an
was

82

OF

CONFESSIONS

unincumbered

which

fortune,
Island !

CREGAN.

he

accordingly

he

speculation;

CON

lost

by

"

abroad

went

unfortunate

an

"

"

suggested one, with a wink.


ing
Exactly,"responded I, " a Colonial appointment; leavthe Grampian Hills,but
rne, like Norval, not exactly on
Norfolk

To

"

"

place, in the middle of the bog of Allen ; my sole


made,
dependence being in certain legal studies I had once
natural
taste
for
forward
in
life
and a
getting
; which, with a
enthusiastic
here I
most
appreciationof good company,"
"
chief
bowed
politelyall round,
are, I flatter myself, my
in

worse

"

"

characteristics."
After

but
little,

good-humored, quizzing about


future
prospects, they, with far

most

present occupation and


politenessthan might
other

upon
from

time

their

from

see,

expected, turned

and

matters,
to time

be

kindly permitted

observations,

my

the

seemed

novelty, at least,

conversation
throw

to

me

remarks

"

my
more

which

often

in

I could

surprise

to

them.
At

the

length

hour

separating arrived, and I arose


good-night, which I performed with a

bid the

company
fair imitation
of

What

"

him,

that

do

you

bed

nor

to

quiet

about

guardsmen

young

of

bet

I had

ease

often

studied

to

very

in the

town.

that

he

this

sleep on,

has

neither
"

night?

home

shelter

to

whispered

to his

one

neighbor.
What

"

"

said another, to the


you writing there, Cox?
who
was
pencillingsomething on a card.
man,

are

keen-eyed

There, that 's my

"

Cox.

Jeremiah

Come

Another, while
half-crown
decline

flung down
and, with
out.

waited

for

It has

about

hand,

"

I recollect

me

often

to

outside
been

of

that

to
a

convey

fancy

me

of

effort

slipa

to

becoming to
Indeed, I had

refusal.
I

the

table

care

to

mine

for

the

company,
circumstance

as

that

performing

was

swaggering
or

I felt it

of every

concern

an

honorable

my

Street

to-morrow."

ten

measure

the

perfect memory

semblance

12, Stafford

"

speaking, made

was

last salutation

I have

any

me

myself with the part


only sixpence on
my

evening, and
from

to

boy,

prompt, but courteous,

identified

so

he

into my

with

address, my

exit

was

though

luxurious

through

waiter,
walked

of the
as

free

carriage

home
life

to

!
pass

the entire

of

felt

life renders
The

of the

hours

existence,

stealing

"

were

"

night

typify so

to

seem

hope

for

suggests musing,

if

the

so

do

in

closing

solemn

tints

the rosy

and

of

stages

many

only reversing the natural order of age,


period of deep reflection precede the era of

"

the

making

one

difficult.

often

so

though

as

have

great city.

or

more
gaining so many
the busy conflict of
reflection,which

thought and

of

of

sleeping world,

the

either

picturesque country,

some

occasions

these

on

of

; to wander

of door

solitarystreets

more

upon

hours

roads

83

CHARACTER.

NEW

night out

summer

"

march

AT

moonlit

still

the

always
a

GLANCE

the

through
in

and
guine
san-

darkness

of the

ing
air of break-

fresh

hopefulness of youth. If "the


of the heart,
the secret communing

day inspire the warm


daylight sinking invites
"the
dawning of morn"
"

with

glows

and

energetic purpose

endeavor.

bold
To

back

come

I should
thought whither
night, with a starry sky
hours

the

pass

until

turn
and

privation.
only
back
to Betty's. I felt
companionship

such

Following
called

quay

the

the

which

extremity
into

of

Bay

shadow, but
reflected in

only

the

sound

so

long

formed,

time

open

before

me.

of

North

out

upon

The

the

columns

at last
the

arrived

opening

the

calm
to

great

no

to

go
in

long

over

soon

that

never

"

great expanse
that

sea

other, and

some

Liffey, I

and

Dublin.
calm

the

Wall,

looks

was

was

sojourned

I had

now

course

audible

had

; it was

should

upward, path

It

shelter

without
I

that

without

tavern

mild, genial air, so

resolve

the

steps.

my

morning

One

left

myself.

to

more

reached

the

the

bluff

at

of

the

river

in

deep

was

lighthouseswere

two

The
light in the tranquilwater.
the low, monotonous
plash of the

of

was

against the wall, or

the

grating noise of a chain cable,


the vessel
it held
as
surged slowly with the tide. The
had
sounds
something plaintivein them, that soon
imparted
sea

tone

of

sadness

unpleasing ; and
weaving strange
As
the

I sat

sound

down

sat

fancies

thus, my

light clank

mind

to my

of

of

chain, and

in the water

it

upon

myself

ear, grown
a

; but

beneath

more

was

rude

and

block

my

; and

of

not

stone,

future.

by habit, detected

acute

something
me

melancholy

on

like

low

thumping
peering down, I
a

84

CONFESSIONS

discovered

the

in

no

of

form

CON

OF

small

CREGAN.

boat, fastened

ring in
from
time to time
the wall, and which
grated against the
it lay, with a pair of lightoars
There
strong masonry.
run
under
its helm
the thwarts, and
flapping to and fro, inert
and
purposeless,like myself ! So at least I fancied it ; and
it and me.
soon
began conceiving a strange parallel between
I was
suddenly startled from these musings by the sound of
feet rapidlyapproaching.
I listened, and
could
hear a man
at
me
coming towards
full speed.
I sat down
beneath
the shadow
of the wall, and
he passed me
unnoticed, and then, springing up on the parapet,
he gave a loud, shrill whistle, waiting a few seconds
as
if for the reply. He was
and
then
it
but
still
silent,
repeated ;
"

vain,
the

"

scoundrels

he whistle
neither

caught sight

beneath

"D

told you

"

keep
cried

bent

he,

"

Well, jump

can

hand,

cut my

done

more

"Here

wall,
up

no

they

few

for

he aroused
for

roof

to

are!

What

! who

him.

shelter

him," said

then, with

here

sleeping?

here !

me

me,

they

horrible

Can

come!

"

and

her round
punt there, and row
with you !
I have
Be
quick ! down
There, that's it,my lad
help you.

cannot

ring ; swing yourself a


gunwale is just beneath
your
Be

time

listened ; and

the

side

my

into the

down

alive
me,

in

and

the stairs.

point to

her

the

oar,

"

catch

from

upright before

has

lad ?
my
I.
sir," answered

an

on

is this

I stood

as

his head

exclaimed,

pull

the

Just

lay, affectingsleep,coiled

sharp look-out

poor

curse,

you

!"

moment

down

sprang

foot

fellow!

boy, sir,that
I, plaintively.
A

He

as

of his

the

"

to

you?

kick

rude

saying,

"

he

such

at

it.

With

are

he,

"

words,
me,

muttered

A
third time did
light!
sounds
might be heard a mile off,
And
that
responded to them.

ever

of

them!"

left the boat

these

to

"

show

the

sound

have

uttered

he

and

though

sight nor
to

"Blast

came.

will not

; but

rascal, too,
as

answer

minutes

cautious

little
foot

; all

give way, give way !


he walked
along the parapet
now

stood

voice,

"

to

more

right
"

And
above

fast, callingout, but


There

! close

in, now

in
a

the

right;

now

! well

thus

couraging
en-

me,

and

lower

and

strong pull

"

that 's it ! "

into

sprang
"Hush!

see

never

above

under

us

he

As

into

low

stood

they'll

stir!
"

wall, straight

the

for

some

seconds

this

way,"

cried

it

as

were

saw

him

the

Devil

take

in

one,

deep

voice.

"If

he

were

"Pooh,

man!

nonsense,

us

escape

passion.
speaker.

former

fellow

any

not

of vindictive

accent

an

Devil," said the

he is the

And

"

could

himself, he

here," said the other, with

can; win

who

dice,

at

for you.
steady finger with a pistol,is a marvel
the slip somehow."
him ! he has given us
on
not
wonder, Harry, if he has taken the water; he

has

or

in the

distance.

the

I '11 swear

wall !

the

of

himself

not

figures mounted

dark

heads, and

our

he; "do

cried

shadow

the

spoke, two

peering
"

still!"

he

flightof

narrow

seated

boat, and

the

85

CHARACTER

NEW

then, hastilydescending

and

steps, he
stern.

AT

GLANCE

Curses
"I'd

like

swims

could

not

plash,

and

"He
a

duck

hear

it;

dark

as

flash

the

"

out
from
a height like that withsprung
his heels to
close enough upon
were

have
we

off

powder

some

in

piece

of

it is

paper:

here."

pitch

While

above

men

preparing their light,I

were

heard

I turned
head, and
slightstir in the stern of the boat.
my
his pistol; he was
a cap
on
saw
my companion coollyfitting
he was
as
obliged to hold the pistol
doing it with difficulty,
he
his knees, while
between
adjusted the cap with his left
he carried
in the breast of his coat.
hand
; the right hand
calm
and
collected
than
his every
Nothing could be more
instant
the
the
to
when, having cocked
movement,
up
to have
in the boat, so as
he lay back
a full stare
weapon,
the

at

At

for

The

dark

two

last,the
few

figuresabove
fuse

lurid

red and

their

figures with

them

both,

peer down
almost
sworn

if

all the

by

that

thought

so

then

heads, and

our

into

and

hand, and

thrown

glare flashed full upon

faces, straightabove

as

ready, and, being lighted,it was

was

in the

seconds

us.

we

too,

for

an

of

water

he

raised

savage-looking
instant

over

below, and

discovered

showed
I

the

saw

parapet

I could

have

dently
companion eviand
pistolsteadily,

; my

his

into the air.

noonday.

impulse, lean

dark

were

for

distinctness

common

the

two

held

86

OF

CON

long and careful aim.


expecting at every instant
heavy fall of the dead man

What

CONFESSIONS

took

me,

the

full to
fallen
have
I

moment

hear

to

my
scorched

into the water

him, he

stirred,

never

nor

then

the

words,
has

from
it

I '11 do

from

us.

yet !

the

"

!"

anyhow, Harry
taken

his

"The
"

words

of

he

but

said

"

I think

"

to

it out

converse

in

me

for

while,

have

must

you

last, all

was

side; and my
Come, my lad, pull
soon

blow

still; not

above

get the kick of

fist."
their

but

away,

sentences.

with one
in company
reckless
pidity.
intremost
sound

be

to

heard

companion, leaning forward, said,

any

shall

broken, unconnected

glean, however, I was


personal strength and

enormous

me

see

calm, still water

In

the

pounds
hang for

if I

with

moved

they

as

all I could

; we

I heard

hazard

for

the other.

struck

reached

At
on

and

one

saw

"

only

From

; and

fingers clean off !


like a razor," replied the other, with
knife was

continued

They

been

might have
perceived us

five hundred

of my hand
tell you, I 'd as soon
the wrist ; and, I can
closed
horse as a short stroke of the same

laugh ;

it off.

"

Well, you've spoiled his hand

"

brushed

fellow ! but

had

it must

though

was

fuse

of the

that

above

then

throat

My

wall, while

the
time

the second

There's

"

not

describe

cannot

descend

other

had

plain they

was

delight I

slipped

him,

it

no,

with

was

even

thought that by its faint flicker,also, we


But

report, and

the

burning paper
companion's pistol-hand; but

on

that for

was

bit of

The

bursting.

seen.

it

CREGAN.

out

short

distance

lightto guide us

I could

well.

row

into

the

ing
off-

"

I had

to

the

priest at

vessel

said, "What
"

"Not

sailor 1

do

belong to, boy?"

at sea,

never

was

autumn

boat-

on
fishing excursions
the Westmeath
lakes, so that I acquitted myself creditably,
free to confess, by a very profound fear of
urged on, I am
the
loomed
so
nrysteriouslyin the stern.
large figure who
time we
at last he
For
a
proceeded in deep silence, when

boy

all his

been

How

you

sir,"repliedI.
comes

it, then, you

can

so

row

well?"
**

I learned

to

"

What

you?

are

row

in fresh
How

came

water,

sir."

you

to be

here

"

to-night?

88

CREGAN.

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

to torture, he
often
painful even
operation were
ing
winced, or permitted the slightestexpression of sufferlast the undressing was
him.
At
completed,
to escape
fearful gash appeared, separating the four
fingers
a

the

If
never

uiid

showed

the

that

averred, sharp
closed

with

hand

once

similar

somewhat

bleeding, and

ceeded,
suc-

soon

making a tolerable
and
by filling
up the palm of the
in a
done
by a country surgeon
The
pain was relieved by the gentle
his

wound,

the

of

copious loss of blood


tension of the bandage had

little

was

of

the aid

I had

as

there

; for

fellow

the

as

cut

the

Perhaps

razor.

vessels,or the

the

them

dressing

been,

have

the

of

keenness

The

must

weapon

as

exhausted

had

hand.

the

entirely from

almost

seen

case.

in

cravat,

support afforded.

"Why,

are

you

laughing,

he watched

as

"What's

name?

your
for

present?

accomplished vagrant!" said he,


the artistic steps of my
proceeding.
do
what
I mean,
by at
you
go

most

of

"

course

like

fellow

has

you

of

score

aliases."
"

have

had

only

name

one

this," said

tc

up

I,

Con

"
"

Cregan."
Con

' '

Cregan

said he.
Con?

for

what
I

the

speculationson
boy

poor

like

to

me

up a little of
friends."

get

chance

to

mean

if I could

I feel

I have

as

no

"

fellow,

people

most

hand

both

to?"

me

he

as

and

one

supposed

are

they brought
clotted

had

to

He

spoke

is

"

good

some

but

have

the

up

this with

nor

burst

more

"

pick
any

ness
of bitter-

"Well,

other,

my
than

have
either ; and what
and bloodhis maimed

of

held

how

money,

friends !
exclaimed
he, with a
Money
quite unlike his previous careless humor.

"

ter
follow, Mas-

without

been

!"

too

things, sir;

; but

trades

most

it sounds

subject."

thought of various

have

"I

enough

line of life do you


have
not
suspect you

And

"

shrewd

sharp and

withering scorn

in every

accent.
"

the

No, my

lighteryou

his heart
are

boy

called

on

; trust

one

who

knows

start, the easier your

it,can

always make

by courtesy, are

money

still more

something

journey !
; and

He

of

life,
"

that sets

friends,

as

easilyacquired."

they

This
the

the

was

of

game

of

It

man.

delighted

listener,
success,

that

to

said

he

and

be

Pull

and

went

and

with

The

stopped
the

whether

prejudices

the

of

intense

never

not,

or

the

or

subject,

of

appointed
dis-

discussed,

matter

first

not

is

in,'

for

the

there

two

miles

and

rowed

and

skill,
the

away
so

that
water.

the

in
the

his

light

at

the

last

have

had

to

ragged

last

said

I,"

am

urchin

street

competitors,

cantering

some

he

to

and

cornet

hang

me

!
if

out."
tone

desire

strain

of

sixpence

's

lad,

this

all

fellow

willing
roads

in

What

"

various

the

outrun

to

had

he

confidence

of

in

discourse

contemptuous
any

air
oracular.

ambition
'

that

canvassing

on,

quite
to

feel

to

certain

' '

last,

at

repressed

through

the

was

freely

seemed

me

ahead,

they're

right

observer,

what

say

certain

am

were

appeared

highest

whose

cannot

speak

one

any

me.

companion

My

views

keen

me.

his

heard

ever

and

afforded

whether
results

shrewd

had

89

CHARACTER.

NEW

such;

as

theme

consider

to

time

first
life

the

pleasure

AT

GLANCE

of

might
silence,

light

skiff

putting
darted

few
for
forth

words

effectually

further
all

rapidly

colloquy
my
and

strength

steadily

fe

Q^G^MP^"^Q
SIR

BROUGHTON.

DUDLEY

TExVDILY,

with

and
I

command,

all

the

the

pulled towards

light.
the

sat
companion
quietly watching
and
apparently following out some

thought
boy,

breathe

all safe

loug

far

either.

off

"Never,
"

No, sir, I

I 'm

come,"

living

anecdotes

need

no

'

Firefly

you

for

Sir
heard

never

cried

great

so

believe

not

stamp

Have

its owner,

half

not

the

's

; at

is

to

of us,

right ahead
of

of

There,

"

yourself;

blow

heard

never

stars,

chain

said,

last he

My

're

we

and

not

yacht?"

the

sir."

Nor

"Well,

did

since

"

of

bit ; there

himself

to

could

vigor

till

now

who

could

memoir

Dudley Broughton?"
the

name."

he, laughing,
a

reprobate
that
not

of

there

was

urchin

an

furnished

have
me

as

consolatory.
thought myself ! I
is

"that

Well,

at

my

of

least

your
some

lad, yonder,

SIR

where

you

here,

where

more

will

91

BROUGHTON.

DUDLEY

and
lightat the peak, is the ' Firefly,'
I sit, is Sir Dudley Broughton.
Ten
minutes
put us alongside, so, if you're not tired, pull
the blue

see

away."
Sir

"No,

popular
"

of

tact

twice

row

now,

you

too

Are

grog

; or

catching up

well

was

quickly,

name

and

take

in the

versed
I

"

able

am

to

going

are

craft for
your
that new-fangled

like bad

coffee

and

to

part.

glass

notion

of
of

better

reason

drink, Sir Dudley," said

to

well

drunk

and

we

"

fun

nothing

dined

"

he,

of

follower

you

whiskey

have

discipleof

young

are

"I'll

Con," said

Master

who
pale-faced politicians,
than

for

I,

far."

as

And

said

Dudley,"

to-day,

and

I.

I '11 not

"I

venture

further."
not
please ; only I say you 're wrong
you
No matter;
ship whenever
you stand in-shore.

the
hand

into this vest

take

them,

with

one

speak

of

of

right

as

these

of

days,

the

have

boat

back

say is, if you do


must, don't say anything

I 'd rather

"

voice

there

was

they '11 get


no
gossip

so

; here

we

are

done

scarce

swearing,

no

water

sooner

side

This

the

cried

and

stood

he, imperiously.
with

man,

the

men

back

with

the

evening

scoundrel

; and

found

it

that

not

deck.

shuffle

the

gig, and

to

fetch

went

off

the
Sir

replied to
stupidityof not
Dudley ascended

and

might have been


lad yonder."

Halkett?"
a

set
short, thick-

in his walk.

Waters

that

"Send

boy.

me

to

my

pleasant one,

one

Tell

aboard, if he

left
no

hoarse

"Where's

land

pull the

was

sir," replied

"Here,

sailor-like

fellow, too, he's


:

the

upon

little ;

know

or

alongside."
speaking when

yacht challenged us.


terrific volley of imprecations on
showing the light,amid which

the

"
"

enough;
promise. Back

had

Dudley
from

that's

now,

you '11 break


your
starboard
oar,
Sir

"

to

fingers; I suppose

and

of it

speak

"There,

not

shillingsthere

some
row

will and

you

smashed

these

I '11 never

"

him

doubt

no

all I

put your

them."

about

of

you
You'll
be.

"

they
people ; and

my

me,

one

pocket,

'11find

whatever

about

by

to victual

As

' '

the

meets

fate

this

if I had

92

CONFESSIONS

"

We

all Sam

have

Bald Halkett;
"No.
he

catch

kit

send

we

him

I'll leave

the

yellow

OHEGAN.

con

Waters'

"shall

Tell

may

OF

board, Sir Dudley,"

on

it ashore?"
it at

fever

Demerara

for

him; and
looking after it," said

in

he, laughing.
While
listening to this short dialogue I had

contrived

to

lightwhich gleamed from the cabin window, and


then took the opportunity to count
ing,
over
my wealth, amountI supposed, to some
as
seven
or
eight shillings. Guess
all bright yellow
surprise to see that the pieces were
my
gold,
eight shining sovereigns!
approach

"

I had
who

that instant

but
to

was

put

me

made

shore

on

the

discovery,when

the sailor

into the boat

jumped

and

seated

himself.
Wait

"

instant," cried I.

one

Broughton

Dudley

Sir

"

Dudley

"

what's

"Well,

Sir

"

the

matter?"

said

he, leaning

the

over

side.
"
"

"

This

you

money

gave

me

Not

enough, of course!
he, scornfully. " Give

said

"

ought to
the whelp

known

have

couple

that,"
of

half-

Halkett, and send him adrift."


"You're
sir," cried I, with passionateeagerness;
wrong,

crowns,

gold pieces, sovereigns."


"The
devil they are!"
cried he, laughing; "the
luck yours.
Why did n't you hold your tongue about
"
You
bid me
take some
I.
sir," answered
shillings,
"

they

1"

are

"

How

"

Halkett?

The

money!

Never

honest

you
had

be ! Do

must

scruples about
mind, boy, I must
pay

fellow

keep them now."


may
"I
have pride,too," cried

better
it?

"

you

hear

that,

taking

his

prize-

for

my

blunder,

"

you

I; "and

hang

me

if I touch

them."
stared

He
and

then

obeyed
and

he made
"I'd

said, in

; and

held

at

he

without

me,
a

speaking,

low, flat voice,

took

"

Come

lighted lantern

for
on

from

few

minutes,

deck, lad."
the

binnacle,

it so that
it up close to my
face, and then moved
examination
of my whole
a careful
figure.
who
to know
was
father," said
give a crown
your

he, dryly.

"

Con

"

Oh, of
to

you

of

Cregan,
course,

try

"

Will

"

Kilbeggan,
I

you

take

me,

Halkett,

rig

him

with

anchor
With

this

while

I,

into the

steerage.

digressionaryif
into

whose

convey
any
speak of those

the

baronet, who,

devote

few

society I

ecstasy.

and

of

was

the
or

the ladder

own

my

only

son

inasmuch

main

indulgence,a

for, added

he asked

must
of

current

direction

of

to its

wealthy

overkindness, but
first
of

of

out
as

an

Christ

indulge in every dissipationthat suited his fancy.

to

unlimited

An

as

career

downright indolent indifference,permitted him,


Eton
boy, and afterwards as a gentleman commoner
Church,

be deemed

racter
singular cha-

thrown,

now

the

disappeared,

down

the

to

Nip

channel."

it will not

words

"

down

influencingthe
some
impulse and

affection

from

while

say

"

here?

he, shortly.

was

narrative

Broughton
not

I,

in

what

now,

stay

you

course
your
cabin
stairs

mean

who, without

Dudley

cried

Halkett, stepped

life,yet certainlygave
my
first meanderings.
Sir

"

the

candid

to

Come,

keep

from

In

Will

out," said

descended

signal

sir."

all that.

sir?

ebb, and

the
he

at

know

bit of life afloat?

93

BROUGHTON.

DUDLEY

SIR

to

money

constitutionally
headstrong
been
developed what
might have

and

of whatever

free command

temper

impetuous, soon
expected from the combination.

He

led

life of wild

insub

Oxford.
With
expelled from
beneath
than
rather
faculties above
mediocrity,and a certain
in request
in
aptitude for acquiring the knowledge most
who, if he had
society,he had the reputation of being one
would
have
not
unhappily so addicted himself to dissipation,
After
made
trying in vain
figure in the world.
a favorable
in the pursuitsof a country life,of which
to interest himself
the only thing he found
attractive,he joined
the sportingwas
ing
a well-known
lightcavalry regiment, celebrated for numberordination

at

school, and

was

fast men
its officers more
among
His father, dying about
the service.
in

possession of
was

than
the

any
same

other

time,

corps in
left him

gance,
large fortune, which, with all his extravaThis
fact, coupled
slightlyencumbered.

but

him
popular with his
reputation,made
of whom,
brother
having run through nearly
officers, most
Croesus
arrive
with pleasure a new
all they possessed, saw

with

his well-known

94

OF

CONFESSIONS

CliEUAN.

CON

as
Broughton was
just wanted.
regiment. Such a man
a
purchaser
One had :i charger to get off; another wanted
skilful
for hirf four-in-hand
drag. The senior captain was
and
one
at
lansquenet
billiards;and
played
every

iiithe

"

"

hazard.

various

Besides
had

still

daughter,

serious

more

one

society,and

of

acquired

in the

bloom

Longer in the
quite spotless,were

deal

great

best

very
fresh

the

purse,

colonel

He

person.

had

fashionable-looking girl,with

handsome,

manners

against his
against his

schemes

of

that

foreign society. That


of youth, nor
with

matters

in

known

well

all the

ouly

tact

she

to

was

be
no

reputation

the

regiment;

the Count
eminently handsome, and
the
from
recalled
had
been
by the emperor
Kadchoffsky
he was
was
secretary, Lydia Delmar
embassy of which
a
likely,in the opinions of keen-judging parties,to make
fellow who
did n't know
town."
some
good hit with
young
Colonel
Delmar
wanted,
exactly the man
Broughton was
good family, a fine fortune, and the very temper a clever
woman
usually contrives to rule with absolute sway.
There
would
be, unfortunately, no novelty in recording
is ruined.
such a man
He did everything
the steps by which
do
to
the
who
bent
that
are
men
testing Fortune
upon
lent large sums
his "friends;"
he lost
to
He
utmost.
When
he did win, none
them.
to
ever
paid
larger ones
his credit at
him, except by a good-humored jest upon
but

as

she

"

still

was
"

"

"

Coutts's.

"What

Dudley?"

was

horses
"

at

common

appeal

an

and

Ascot,

Crocky's," and

the corps.

"

We

fared

he

least of his comrades.


career

would,

in

he

could

"squeezed;"
but
on

it satisfied

made
A

an

few

money,
to.
He
reply

never

get

never

with

want

you

better;

no

; and

had

do

got

could

remark

extravagance,

devil

the

he

was

without
him

investment
months

all likelihood, have

ran

he

played

at

the

favorite

of

Dudley,"

that,

him.

was

all

his

hearts

at

with

in the

longer of
ruined

Sir

this
He

"

fast

"

broke

thus driven, by
leg by a fall in a steeplechase, and was
sheer
necessity,to lay up, and keep quiet for a season.
Delmar's
the
Colonel
Now
came
opportunity ; the moment
reached
Coventry, he set off with his daughter to
news
the
With
steeplechasing, hazard-playing,
Leamington.

his

96

CONFESSIONS

"Public

Opinion;"

half-dozen
he

OF

when

that

ho

CON

CREGAN.

Sir

Dudley heard,
reputed lie would

it was
times every day, what
to feel that he ought to do it.

began

some

do,

at least the
married; the world
Leamington section of that large body
criticisingthe
it struck the interests and
match precisely
as
prejudices of
the class they belonged to.
and
mothers
Fathers
agreed in thinking that Colonel
shrewd
old soldier,and had made
lent
"excela
Delmar was
an
hit."
for a girlwho
Young ladies pronounced Liddy
had
been out eight years
decidedly lucky. Lounging men
club
doors
looked
at
knowingly at each other as they joked
affair of mine; but I did
together in half sentences, "No
think
have
been
not
Broughton would
caught so easily."
cried another, with a jockey-likestyleof
"Yes, by Jove!

Accordingly, they

were

"

"

"

"

"

dress, " he 'd


to

as
"

run

have

not

aged

an

I wonder

he

made
for

nag

never

great

so

mistake

two-year old

the

on

'

Oaks

'

"

heard

of that Russian

out

dandy,

fellow ! "

said

third.
"

Oh, yes !

"

sighed
Liddy did

poor dear
Remarks
such

"

indeed

catch

with
'

affected

an

Tartar

'

drawl;

"

pleasant sallies the event


provoked ; but so it is in higher and greater things in life !
of a line-of-battle ship, the veriest vagrant in
At the launch
predictfor her defeat and shipwreck !
rags fancies he can
the great people of the London
The Broughtons were
now

most

equipages
splendid;

Loans
of

certain

its

the

were

"

fast"

toilet

value;

bills

Rothschild

swamped

as

were

renewed

rate

at

purchases made

at

But
how

the

riven

swell

came?

ruin
how

plank

why
is

the

asunder?

the

diamonds

much

that

the

reputed by

list, or

If

one

bad

craft

to

mount

take
leak
the

would

tithe
have

ate
prices proportionwaste
everywhere ;

non-payment ; reckless
robbing solicitors,cheating tradesmen, and
risk of

to the

pleasures.

property for

of

her

dinners

another.

interest ; sales

ruinous

at

perfect;

most

by

loved

set, who

other concomitant

his dinners

while

her

class, as

one

the

were

Clarendon, high play,and

at the

Her

least to

at

season,

these

as

dishonest

trouble
will
waves

to
a

cause

with

vants!
ser-

show

wreck,
shipevery

SIR

patriarchswho lend at usury, Broughton's


beginning to ebb, in the clubs at the West End, in
he was
at Crockford's, and
at Tattersall's,
betting-ring,
would
fame.
Anderson
all the splendor of his former

If among
credit was
the
in

send

half

with

him

the faster and

on

he

that

Not

his

the epergne
With
rocks

he lived.
"

the

him

trust

approaching
All

97

BROUGHTON.

DUDLEY

could

he

that

the

Howell

stable.

and

would

James

designed for a czar.


breakers
ahead, he only

And

had

they
and

"

so

carried

the freer.

knew,

indeed, the

extent,

to

surmise

his

which

on

the

extent,
fortune

or
was

anything
wrecked.

the
founded
on
subject was
circumstance
a
raising money,

he found
in
difficulty
his pliantsolicitor invariablyexplained by that happy
market."
This
pletely
comphrase, the " tightnessof the money
satisfied Sir Dudley, who, far from
attributing it to

increased

his

own

"

almost

exhausted

resources,

trickeryof foreign statesmen,

some

in
vol.

i.

"

Ireland, something

that

laid all the blame


some

the

confounded

upon
turbance
dis-

Foreign Secretary

98

CONFESSIONS

had

done,

would

not

trust

quite clear
Sir

would

or

; and

CREGAN.

that

tbus

more

longer

the

was

scheming

all

traced!

secretary of embassy, driving about

mere

quiet cab, but

an

envoy
He

innumerable.

crosses

fact, it

cabinet

to

folk

money

just at this time that the Count


liadchoffskyarrived
in London
in charge of a special mission, no

was

once

the

of their lingers. In

political
intrigue and
Dudley's difficultiesmight fairlybe

It

that

do

not

guinea out

CON

OF

extraordinary, with
was
exactly the kind

in his

cordons
of

and
for

man

his acquaintance,
made
set," so that he soon
Broughton's
and
was
presented by him to Lady Broughton as a most
agreeable fellow, and something very distinguished in his
"

country.

own

She

received

him

admirably : remembered
Lord
Edenbury's ; but

him, she thought, at


it

by saying

Clifton's,

of

corrected

"

met

her

difference

of

Broughton laughed heartily,


saying, in
"Well, it is pretty clear you didn't
rough way,

his usual
much

The

he

have

which

testimonyat
make

Duke

the

at

was

to

impression on

Russian

noble

each

was

other."
the

to

stranger

turf.

In

the

arranging the approaching race, in apportioning


and
the weights and
distances, Broughton passed his
ages
whole
mornings for a month, sorelypuzzled at times by the
obtruded
friend, who actuallynever
apathy of his Northern
the
on
an
opinion, or expressed a wish for information
details

of

subject.
Sir
"he

Dudley's
stood

said

men

had

to

that
been

not

book

win"

was

if he

was
a

heavy one
profound secret;

lost,it would

be

such

since

at Newmarket

known

too.

very

What

but

knowing
"squeeze" as

the Duke

of York's

day.
Such

event, however,

an

calculations

and

so

seemed

confident

was

not

he

to enter

of

into his

success

that

own

he

good fortune with his friend Radbook.


The
choffsky,and giving him something in his own
count
professed himself everlastinglygrateful,but confessed
could

not

help sharing

his

nothing of racing matters, and that, above all,


be excessivelyannoyed if a
his Majesty the Emperor would
representativeof his in any way interfered with the race ; in
be tarnished
would
of the Czar
by such a
fact, the honor

that he knew

SIR

99

BROUGHTON.

DUDLEY

proceeding. Against such reasoningsthere could


Broughton only took to himself all
; and
destined

had

he

had

the

the

opposition
benefits

although Sir Dudley


day came
; and
him
Lady Broughton should accompany

eventful
that

arranged

to

no

his friend.

for

last the

At

be

she

course,

taken

was

with

kind

some

of

nervous

husband
Her
prevented her leaving her bed.
still vain
provoked at this ill-timed illness,for he was

attack
was

her

that

in

public; but knowing that he


hysterics,he sent for Doctor
Barham,

appearance

nothing

for

with

speed

all

had

count

promised

admirable

humblest

drove
all haste.
of

man

Tappy

one

him, the
that
despatches

but

"

attache

great secretary
had

despatches

"

to

manage

the

just

get through his business

certainlyfollow."
the
Dudley reached

the

to

Mr.

was

cried

a
ground when
riage
carand
in
a
stand,
gentleman descended
Taperton, his solicitor, his trusty
"

discounts

and

loans
'

then

with

along

go

diplomatists,from

could

Sir

up
It

to

make

and

he'd

"

early enough,
Scarcely had

to

do

race.

were

unpaid

if he

; and

arrived

the

for

who

of

excuse

the

to

friends

the

Among

started

he

could

of

' '

Broughton,

for

to

come

day,
fiftyon

many

sport

' '

Eh,
the

filly?"
"Walk
and

little this way,


Sir Dudley," said he, gravely;
voice
convinced
the hearer
that
soon
something
a

his

serious

in

was

"What's

matter, man?

the

You

Sir

start
Dudley, you must
has taken
worth
proceedings on
foreclosed ; the whole
body of
"

'11 be

you
If

the

arrested
threat

You

"Arrested!
these

"

Your

"

And

"My
What

before

had

felony, Broughton
to pay

look

if

as

Cardinal

lame."

dead

was

wind.

the

don't

rascals ?

not
mean

dear

they be

have
that

Corthern

creditors
the

Holds-

once.

bills ; Lord

the

the

this at

up ; and

are

field !

has

"

ignominious penalty of
looked
more
indignant.
raise
cannot
we
enough

"

outstanding bills
if

the

leave

you

conveyed
could

from

are

above

; do

you tell me
Sir Dudley, how
much

single portion, save

the

few

twenty thousand,
that with
of

my

sir."
"

estate

"

it is unencumbered?

hundreds

year

of

Lady

100

OF

CONFESSIONS

Broughton's jointure,is
for

time

is do

iu

Loudon

reach

Boulogne,

in

discussion
time

and

not

sunk

get into

for

then

the

mortgage?

under

chaise with

the

mail ; to-morrow

shall

we

CREGAN.

CON

time

have

But
me

'11

; we

you
least

at

this

can

be

for

an

arrangement."
"The
steward

I leave?

can

book.

Do

I 'm

know

you

"

I stand to win here?


thousands
many
To lose, you mean," said the solicitor.

how
"

words

The
but

just coming off! how


besides, I have a tremendous
is

race

were

Broughton
how?

"Sold!

You

're sold !

"

whispered so low as to be almost inaudible ;


actuallystaggered as he heard them.
Who
could
sell
what?
Impossible, man!

me?"

perhaps,but he has done


have backed
Calliope?
said he, staring wildly.
Yes !
found
She was
hamstrung this morning

"Only

one

it!

man,

Is

it true

"

you

"

"

"

then," said Taperton

"if

further partiwant
to hear
culars,
you
friend the Count
Radchoffsky !
"

ask your
you must
scoundrel
! the black-hearted
The

"

cried

"

Broughton.

Come,

with

you ; by Jove, you


for the road ! "

stable,

in the

villain ! I
let

Taperton,

have

found

start!

us

to make

way

it all !

see

"

I '11 go
eager

me

lawyer read in the bloodshot eye and flushed face the


that was
boilingwithin him, but he
passion for vengeance
and
entered the carriage.
on
never
spoke as they moved
The

It

full three

was

return, when
the

the

hours

chaise

before
in which

the

they

Broughton, half
the suite of splendid rooms

Clarendon, and

upstau's

"Oh,

to

dear, Sir

Dudley,"

cried

expected time

the

travelled

wild
he

with

of

drew
rage,

his

up at
dashed

occupied.

maid,

as

she

saw

him

hastening along the corridor, " oh, I'm sure, sir,how you'll
alarm
lady if she sees you so flurried !
my
woman!"
said he, roughly, enof the way,
"Stand
out
deavoring
to push her to one
side,for she had actuallyplaced
him and the door of the drawing-room.
herself between
"Surely, sir, you'll not terrifymy lady! Surely, Sir
"

Dudley""
Despite her cries,for they had now become such, Broughton
pushed her rudely from the spot, and entered the room.

was

his astonishment

left

so

Great
had

he

her

face

; and

her

promenade;
feverish

and

Lady Broughton,

to find

only

ill,not

101

BROUGHTON.

DUDLEY

SIR

dressed

but

up,

flushed, and

was

whole

highest

degree of excitement.
the table, and
his hat upon
Broughton threw down
returning to the door, locked and bolted it.
"Good

has

what

"

terror,

!"

Everything

"

creditors

said he ;

all

stripped of
drew
a long

shall be
She
husband

lightlyhis

some

compromise
acquitted

be

There

was

"

whom

cried

like

!
' '

how

seen

till

weeks,

some

carriage below

in the

I have

debt

one

make

can

we

"

that must

she
"

to whom?

and

What,

"

asked,

words, and

the

he, savagely; "that

scoundrel

!"

for

back, and

moment

less
her motion-

tremendous

He

betrayed

me,

the

and

dishonored
She

I had

mare

dying

he

her

her.

he's

"

had

"

And
is

we

like fainting; but


pallid features seemed
effort
rallying herself, she said, " Go

limbs

on

hours

few

have

it,he might

mark

brother

fell

Lady Broughton
a

of

crew

she listened ; and

as

significancein
she

as

!"

I trusted

with

for

terrible

Radchoffsky

of

I leave."

sick to the heart

was

in

and

me,

other ; but

or

whole

ruin ! The

utter

tidingsaffected

before
a

"

to

least

at

France,

voice

"

full breath

fly! Taperton

says

then,

possess."

we

mood

terrible

I must

"

in

been

she, in

exclaimed

after

full chase

in

are

"

Dudley!
happened?

Heavens,

the

restless

eye
the

exhibited

manner

if for

as

her

whom

sat

spoke,

this
!

"

told every
for
backed

instant;

so

that

circumstance
more

than

only ruined,

not

am

of my book
thirtythousand

but

"

with
nor

wide

did

she

staring eyes
seem,

in the

and

half-open lips while

fearful

confusion

fullyall he said.
spoken plainly? said he, angrily.

of

her

fear, to understand
"

Have

I not

"

"

Don't

I shall be
I say that to-morrow
when
me
comprehend
you
branded
at the settling? But
enough of this.
as
a defaulter
Tell Millar

evening;
As

he

to
the

get

portmanteau

interval

spoke, he

is short

hastened

to

ready

for

me.

I '11start

this

enough for all I have to do."


his bedroom,
and, providing

102

CONFESSIONS

himself

with

CON

CREGAN.

his

containing

case

OF

he hurried
duelling-pistols,
postilionto drive to the Russian

downstairs, ordering the

Embassy.
The

carriage was

Broughton, taking
door

led

which
from

room,

which

stirred
"

from

key

from

unruffled

driven

scarce

the

the

and

from
her

as

easy

when

pocket, opened

drawing-room

count

door

the

into

walked

forth,

though

no

Lady
small

her

dressing-

his calm

"

emotion

tures
fea-

had

ever

them.

You

heard
of

accent

what

"

said?

Broughton

whispered she, in

an

falteringagitation.

Out, parbleu, every


gently. " The people of
"

word

"

it!

of

replied he, laughing


might almost have heard

the house

him."
"And

is it true?"

her, and

over

asked

her mouth

she, while
shaken

was

cold

sickness

crept

convulsively.

I believe

so," said he, calmly.


cried
Oh, Alexis, do not say so!

"

"

"

least

grief; "or,

of

all, in such

she, in

voice

an

of

agony

that."

as

shrugged his shoulders; and then, after a moment's


said, "I confess
myself quite unprepared for this
pause,
of affection,madame
show
He

"

"

Not

"

honor
"

so,

as

honor

is

"It

to

sorry

it is

"Oh,
into

death
"

it

on

these
and
To

live

not

of

A11ot\
her

return

you."

late!"

too

I must

"The

spoken
to

with

the

from

Sir

Embassy, he could
he sought ; a young

I should

cried

never

she, bursting
him

see

again to

again!

save

from

me

"

shoulders.

her

deceive

go!

"

then," said he, taking her shawl

me,

of

"

that last half-horn!

"

the defence

repentance, madame.

late, far

over

"

men

"

could

us

torture

words,
led

too

"Let

tears.

would

think

; for your

"

late for

too

never

interruptyou;
to myself

thought this of you

but

but

if I
left

be

must

If I had

"

gentleman

Pardon, madame,

my

be

It is for you I am
concerned
f ah- fame
; for your
among

Alexis.

carriage is

and

draping
and

perfect calm, he

ready;"
presented

his

with
arm

room.

Dudley.
learn

On

nothing

arriving
of

the

secretary, however,

at

the

whereabouts
with

whom

Russian
of him

he

had

104

bis disordered

of

the haze

he

in what,

CREGAN.

CON

faculties,to

interested

was

in the

see

clearlyhow,

and

affair.

lady?" whispered Taperton to the valet,


stood almost
as
spell-bound as his master.
Gone, sir ; she 's gone," said the man, in a faint voice.
said Sir Dudley, jumping up
Gone
where, scoundrel?
seizing him by the throat with both hands, while he

"Where's
who
"

my

"

"

and

the words

roared

out

all the

room.

with

that

vehemence

savage

startled

Sir Dudley," said the half-choking man;


away,
Radher drive off in a chaise and pair with Count

"Gone
4 '

OF

CONFESSIONS

saw

choffsky."
Broughton let
to the ground.

his face
fell heavilyupon
go his hold, and
called in, who
at once
A surgeon
was
ceived
perof apoplexy. For that night
attack was
one

that the

hopeless;
no
returning
signs
intervals, long, heavy sighs,

part of the next day his recovery


for, though repeatedly bled, he gave

and

animation, but lay heaving,

respiringwith

and

an

at

almost

was

of

effort that seemed

to shake

the strong

in convulsions.

frame

remedies, however, favored him, and on


who
like one
and weary,
the third morning he awoke, weak
terrible
convalescence
after a long and
had
just reached
all
His features, his gestures, his very voice, were
fever.
and

Youth

bold

and physimental
cal
debilityabout him
knew
who
and
like premature decay ;
they
of a few days before could never
the bold, high-spirited
man
have
poseless
recognized him in the simple-looking,vacant, and purinvalid who
sat there, to all seeming, neither noticing
It is true, indeed,
nor
caring what happened around him.
few essayed the comparison. Of those who visited him, the
his
to speculate on
creditors curious
were
greater number
ing
a
couple of reporters,too, for gossiprecovery ; there were
of coining a paragraph to amuse
desirous
newspapers
altered ; there was
that seemed

"

"

the

town;

but

no

and

drank, and

fate

was

he

had

soon

or

in

some

meeting

his debts.

"

not

mau

of

those

who

dined,

In fact his
drove, and played with him.
in the very
circles of which
forgotten even

the centre

been

save

friends,

stale

; nor

to

name

ever

meet

tion,
men-

bankruptcy examination,
for the liquidationof
arrange

report of

of creditors

his

did
a

SIR

wasteful, heedless

The

urged

was

three

for

when

only

was

mode

of

living

by his creditors, so that


Fleet ; and
it
a prisonerin the
had
no
feeling of either shame

remained

he

years

of his

extravagance

vindictiveness

to

even

105

BROUGHTON.

DUDLEY

they

he

saw

at
was
imprisonment that an arrangement
last agreed to, and he was
liberated, set free to mix in a
tie to bind, or one
interest to
he had
not one
world in which

his

at

regret

or

"

him

attach

hour

that

From

retained

forth

them

companionship,

did

lawyers, almost

from

the

On

astonishment

with
of
men
company
noted
gamblers at hells, "

in

iniquity.

While

it

was

his

proceeds

of

mother.

in total

again

was

part

to him

seclusion,when,
about

seen

town,

equivocal character,
and
others
Legs of Newmarket,"
the

report attributed

to whom

the

"

one

the

on

secured

was

year

to

time

all,he

tainly
cer-

he formed

whom

exertions

fortune,

some

never

acquaintance with
a

belonged
of

with

By great

great

he lived

this income

the

to

had

that

estate

his

of

wreck

his memory

far

past life ; he

renew

thousand

how

of those

he

friends.

his former

among
of his

his

of

to any

nor

knew

ever

circumstances

the

mentioned

small

none

most

bolder
debated

"

and

daring

more

feats

certain

point among

of

ionables
fash-

be

recognized by
all the difficulty,
by passing his most
them, he saved them
the slightestsign of recwithout
friends
or
ognition.
intimate
a bow
left his features ;
A stern, repulsive frown
never
and he whose
frank, light-heartedbuoyancy had been a proverb,
and
silent,rarely admitting anything like
was
grave
could
be
called
a
avoiding whatever
an
intimacy, and
friendship.
of the

After
and

it

himself

a
was

by

while
said
sea

clubs

he

how

missed

was

that

far

had

he

excursions.

he

to

was

from

his accustomed

purchased
Then

there

yacht

came

haunts,

and
rumor

amused
of his

said with
some
being in the Carlist insurrection in Spain,
in a French
afterwards
he was
seen
a
high command
; and
all these varied
From
voltigeurregiment serving in Africa.
back
of life he came
to London, frequenting,as
accidents
whose
betting sums
play resorts, and
before, the same
"

amount

his

often

trenched

early life,he

was

upon
a

the

constant

limits

of the

loser, now

bank.
he

If, in

invariably

106

and

won;

he

was

fears
superstitious

portion of

terror ""t* hell-keepers,whose

of certaiD

lucky ones

Nemesis

seemed

this

tracked

He

him

Leamington,
to
a

well-known

are

of

last, by way

his

vindictive

ruin.

in

man

of

revenge.

Broughton

all

followed

; he

city the

in any

great wealth,

perseverance

to Goodwood

eluding

was

One

of

sport
like

Brighton, to Cheltenham,

to

wherever
was

It

money-lender

Jew

Newmarket,

to

of fiendish

fortune.

worked

London

from

Paris,to Brussels;
table for play, there

At

"

kind

of

turn

had

a well-known
particular,
he pursued with all the

take

to

new

who

those

on

ki

creed.

their

followingup

in

CREGAN.

actuallythe

for himself, he

As

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

to

him

opened

man

to be found.

sure

pursuit,the

Jew

went

over

of all others fewest


resources
country where
here again, despite
for his traffic presented themselves
; and
and
change of name
every precaution of secrecy, Broughton
the night when
him
out ; and, on
traced
1 first met
him, he

Ireland,

to

was

on

broken

"

his

bank

the

from

return

and

hell

arisen

winner

of

he

where

Quays

the

on

above

had

thousand

two

pounds.

peculiar circumstances

The

easily told.
witnesses

men,

the entire
I found
A

the

He

row

sum

of
on

he often
was

was

his

that
from

followed

good fortune,

his person

assumed,

; and

lightswere

extinguished,

and

sole

night's adventure
the play table by

who

believed
at
a

the

him

was

to

"

to be

closingof

terrible

object

are

two

that he carried

saw

his manner,

from

they

"

accordingly organized

outrage ensued, whose


of his winnings.
and

of

scene

rob

drunk.

the
of

feint

play,
tumult

Broughton

SIR

After
I
the

have

desperate

too

is

already

without

which

leaping

by

daring

he

his

for

received
from

the

wound

window

assailants

into
imitate.

to

"

remainder
ask

in

escaped

feat

107

BROUGHTON.

struggle,
he

mentioned,

street,

The
to

DUDLEY

reader's

my

which,

companionship

known

indulgent
however,
on

board

the

and

pardon
felt
"

could

Firefly."

have
this

for
not

only
long

have

again
episode,

asked

his

/"uj

"THE

The

of

crew

twelve

the

"

muster

of

"

Firefly

consisted
of

Indeed,

deck, it

on

OUT."

natives

persons,
countries.

many

of

VOYAGE

European

to

"

criminal

indictment, and
was

himself

had

brought

little
such

sullen, reckless

hang-dog,

they; Halkett, the


whose
being the only one

he, with

his

as

all

them

see

rascality,

gress
cona

set

wretches

Englishman,

were

not

almost

like

was

of

features

were

splitby

nose

the

cious
atrobeauty. The most
Moorish
thirteen
of all, however,
was
a
boy, about
bolical
diaEl Jarasch
of age, called
(the fiend), and whose
years
His functions
ugliness did not belie the family name.
of two young
lion whelps
and take care
to feed
board
were
on

slash

of

cutlass,

which

Sir

in

interior

the

nature

of

Dudley
his

of

Africa.

occupation,

no

with

Whether
I

know

him

from

from

not, but

an

his

excursion

blood

or

the

certainlycould

VOYAGE

"THE

forehead,
imitated

traits of

in

developed

were

him,

followed.

His

white

of

he

tunic

wore

dress

in the

as

of

cloth

reached

the

to

examination

belt

; a

of

food

type he

sleeves

wonderful

burnished

tissue

bear

to

which

over

without

and

jacket, open,

of

were

gorgeous

knees,

the

beasts.

the

almost

was

minute

wild

showed

prey,

curiously slashed and laced, by


so
gold thread
delicatelytraceried as

this

shot
blood-

ate, tearing his

he

handsome,

was

muslin

thin

scarlet

and

animals, too, in all his gestures, which

the

abrupt ; the very way


rending it in fragments, like a

and

he

creatures

nostrils,the bleared

and

sudden

the

back
large, full-lippedmouth, drawn
by
at its angles, and
the great swollen vessels

eyes, the
strong muscles

He

terrible

wide, distended

The

tended.

the

all the

in his features

trace

109

OUT."

the

gold, like

most
a

cession
suc-

clasps,supported a small scimitar, whose scabbard


of exquisite workmanship,
of ivory and
the top of
gold was
of purest color ;
the handle
being formed
by a singleemerald
his legs were
at the ankles, where
two
bare, save
rings of
massive
kind
a
gold encircled them ; on his feet he wore
of
embroidered
with
slippers, curiously studded
precious
A white
turban
of muslin, delicatelysprigged with
stones.
his head, looped in front by another
gold, covered
large
emerald, which glared and sparkled like an eye in the centre
of

his forehead.

of

This

was

it in
Such

of

of

out,"

not

legs

of

of

my

to

be

to

was

resemble

value

of

one

bled
resem-

the material.

companion

my

to afford

what

and

my
satisfaction

small

to dress

clothes

bagging

making

me

appear

more

than

ordered
I

the

the
to

to

was

kit of

"

rig me

the

sailor

although, by rolling up
office for
performing the same
and

ready

me

like

method

in every
a

feet

stunted

could
could

absurd
monster

plicity
sim-

on

occupy

and

hands

such

around

from

me

jacket, and

no

splendor

pi*eciseplace

in Dublin

me,

his

Halkett, when

trousers, my

my

available

less

knowing

left behind

sleeves

every-day

actual

seemed

costume.

my

board, proceeded
had

the

his

us.

could

Nothing

who

fact which

"

either

; but

gala costume
everything, save
El Jarasch,

was

messmate,
to

his

be

we

the
the

rendered

prevent the

and
superfluity,

than

human

110

being.
himself

my

thought

bestowed
accorded

to

between

look

the

so;

met and
himself

on

CRKGAN.

splendidlycostumed
companion
it long dubious
was
sorry figure,nor

Beside

indeed, but

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

made,

that

he

of

he
first
contempt
savage
the gaze of ineffabh- pleasurehe

then

afterwards, having

Neither

them.

did

it

interval

wide

condition, in his

improve

my
distinct

joined the

lay claim to no
duty on board.
ruminating on this fact, the morning after I
standing under easy sail,with a
yacht, we were

brightsky

and

on

I could

that

eyes,
While

was

lee ; the

our

calm

from

the

sea,

heaving

swell

southeastern

of the blue

coast

of

Ireland

water, the fluttering

peak, the joyous bounding motion,


all new
and inspiriting
were
sensations, and I was
lating
congratumyself on the change a few hours had wrought in my
Halkett
tell me
to
that Sir Dudley
came
fortune, when
He
in his cabin.
to speak with me
wanted
was
lounging on
when
I entered, in a loose kind of dressing-gown,
a littlesofa
bunting

gaff and

before

and

breakfast.

materials

the

first effect of my
although there is

The

laughter;

stood

him

and

his

of

yet untasted

was
appearance
nothing I have

burst

of

loved

ever

not of a kind to
hearty laugh, his was
It was
inspire any very pleasant or mirthful sensations.
derision and mockery in
a short, husky, barking noise, with
to hear

better

than

cadence
every
"What
the

disgrace a

"

I made

no

this

Why,
Who

all about

boy, you'd
rigged you in

second

or

two

than

to

'misters'

no

looked
send

busied

and

table.

At

you

here

in

among
Halkett

in such

minutes, he

some

himself

last he

but

to;

and, apparently,for

me,

the

I know
be

must

better

answer

covered
a

please;

you

known

might have
guise."

after

here?

we

lighterat Sheerness.

Well,

crew.

which

have

"

if

"Halkett,

forgot

devil

Halkett, sir."

Mr.

my

it.

of

stone

that fashion

large

chart

looked

up ; and then,
to his recollection,

spent in recallingme

true.
I
said, " Oh, you 're the lad I took up last night ; very
What
wanted
can
to speak with
you do, besides what
you.

I have
use

seen

for,

; for

I trust

surgery
cook ?
"

"

can

you

is

an

art

we

shall seldom

liiul

112

CONFESSIONS

For

kk

wise

be

Go

; I 've

now

about

was

nothing

said

nothing

to

say."

to

more

he called

retire,when

to

"Stay! you've
"

CItEGAN.

privategovernance, I may say, you'll find it


good friends with Halkett, and, if you cau, with

Jarasch.

about

CON

your

to

OF

back.

me

sir.

none,

It is

for

enough

if I

me

could buy for me."


in all money
"No
No
deceit, sir!
trickery with

fiercely,and
see,

he

deceit, nor

sir,it is

not

first

fortune

cried

me!"

'11

trust

ever

he,

me.

whom

one

Land

condition

found
me.
you
Leave
put in to.

saw

you

then,

me,

follow

to

me

but

"

out

at

my

way."

own

my

if I take

at

you

red

the

among

you

at

provided

am

either,"said I, boldly;

trick

likelyyou

port you

What

"

glared savagely

It is not

in the humble

the

you,

wages."

your
I want

"

I to

have

nor

me,

word," said he,

your

Moors,

the coast

on

of

and

"

Barbary

leave

"

hung my head in shame and dismay.


"Ay, or dropped you with the Tongo chiefs, who'd

grill

for breakfast?"

you

nigh England now, sir."


"
We
shall not long be so," cried he, joyfully. " If this
breeze last, you '11 see
Cape Clear by sunrise, and not look
it again at sunset.
on
There, away with you ! Tell Halkett
"

But

we

I desire

are

that

should

you
the

fellows, learn

own

of

eyes

explain

some,

be

appear
strange and

deemed

to the refusal

upon

that

day

or

of

highest,not

on

trace

or

terms
or

respect discoverable.

object before

out
pistolwith-

me,

all my

must

One

servitude.

new

which

have

The

pilgrimage"

mix
a

the

perhaps in the
inconsistent
or
improbable. It
incomprehensible why I, poor,

should

all wages.

other, sooner

I should

in any

low-born,

life

"

my

of

rest

withdrew, if I

my

conduct,

my

may

friendless,and

one

leave, and

to

now

me

to

the

to load

cutlass, and

it, only partiallypleased with


here

with

mustered

fingersoff."

motioned

word

may

of

use

blowing your
He

be

is this

fact

with

most

later,I should
of

clew

indifferent,even

been

my

be

with

endeavors

were

"

set out

and

condition

this

one

that

gentleman

the best

former

Now,

I had

firm conviction

equalitywith
to

"

the

being

paramount

graduallyto

con-

"THE

/orm,
action

hour
its

one,

came

said

make

should

move

; to

of

other

none

that

its

all

to

clear

motives

I have

have

yet

equal

not

other

my

it,for

thought

and

learn,

of gentle blood, so
that, when
usages
my
I should step into my positionready suited to all

explanationdoes
for

of

the

requirements and
and

modes

all my

might be,
sphere wherein

a8

that

to

by

one

far

so

113

OUT."

VOYAGE

the

If

of my

reasons

honorable

this

ity,
generos-

conduct, I

am

sorry

offer.

to

retired

demands.

from

with

interview

my

Sir

Dudley not at all satisfied with the result. Indeed, as I


it, I could not help feelingthat gentlemen
pondered over
dislike any
traits of high and
honorable
motives
in
must
of my own
station,as though they were
assuming
persons
air of their betters.

the

with

generous
consort

ever

"What

could

have

rags

could
impulses ; how
with
high sentiments

in

common

poverty and

hunger
aspirations?

noble

or

mimic
their dress and
we
They forgive us, thought I,
pantomime their demeanor, because we only make ourselves
ridiculous by the imitation ; but when
the
would
we
assume
social intercourse,they hate
features that regulatetheir own
though we sullied with our impure touch the virtues
us, as
of a higher class of beings.
I thought over
The
this subject, the more
more
strongly
when

I satisfied

was

sooth

that
the

to

respect

too

man

any

Dudley's anticipationswere
evening at sunset the great
were

fogbanks ;
pointingto
and

where

the

for

we

the

last

at

like

the

for North

ing
followof

south

along,

behind

bound

were

weeks

set

The

of

scudded

just

in life

high-minded.

headlands

clear, and

had

sun

condition

all correct.

lightvessel

our

did I learn that

then

Our

while

first

at

seen,

and,

judgment;

my
that
be

to

poor

Sir

Ireland

in

correct

was

less did

say,
could deem

which

hazy

her

prow

horizon

America.

undistinguishedby any
weather
was
uniformly
fine ; steady breezes from
the northeast, with a clear sky and
a calm
us
as
we
went, so that, in the pleasant
sea, followed
another.
day exactly resembled
monotony of our lives, one
voyage

feature

It

of

unusual

some

character.

will,therefore, suffice if, in

hours

passed.
I spread

were

when
vol.

i.

"

Sir
out

was

The

Dudley
a

few
came

words,
on

large white bear's

tell how

deck
skin

after

the

fast,
break-

for him

to

114

OF

CONFESSIONS

lie Upon

; reclined

great beauty in
These
:it play.
failed
dressed

his

in

CREGAN.

with

which, and

on

hand, he smoked,

gambols

assemble

to

CON

meerschaum

watched

and

witness

to

crew

of

the lions
and

always amusing,

were

all the

huge

them.

never

Jarasch,

tunic, with legs,arms, and neck


lightwoollen
bare, led them forth by a chain ; and, after presenting them
hands
Sir Dudley, from
whose
to
they usually received a
small piece of sugar, they were
then set at liberty, a privilege
availed
themselves
of, setting off at full
they soon
in pursuit of the
the deck, sometimes
one
speed around
other, sometimes
by different ways, crossing and recrossing
with
cat-like
each
with
bold
a
other; now
spring, now
stealthiness,creeping slowly past. The exercise, far from
since
and more,
fatiguing,seemed
only to excite them more
all this time they were
in search of the food which
Jarasch,
with
how, each day, to conceal
a
cunning all his own, knew
irritated by delay, the
in some
fashion.
and
Battled
new
a

"

red and
eyes
grew
either carried high

they
gathered up
;

heads

in

their

actuallyfastened

Jarasch

would

covered

with

bring
a

with

armed

had

forth

stout

their

then

whetted
sufficiently
in a large "
the mess

were

great

the trunk.

by delay,
grog

tub,"

seating himself,
bludgeon, he used to keep
which

lid,on

massive
short

been

wards
straight back-

the fore part of

on

were

too, till the muscles

folds, and

massive

thick

rage

extended

or

their necks

contracted

seemed

When

the back

over

stiffened,and

tails

lustrous, the

and

the

the most
exciting part of
bay. This, which was
the spectacle,presented every
possible variety of combat.
for nigh half-anin check
hold them
Sometimes
he could
beasts

at

hour, sometimes
Now,

he would,

his assailants

strugglewould

the

by

that

stroke,

successful

he

could

scarce
so

all his

devote

last

five minutes.

intimidate

one

of

energies against

attack, the savage


by a simultaneous
him, and then,
would
creatures
spring upon and overthrow
of ungovernable passion,they would
with all the semblance
distance
along the deck, mouthing him with
drag him some
frothy lips,and striking him about the head with their huge
the

paws,

other.

Now,

which

from

sailors, uncovering
savor

of

the

food.

they
the

would

mess,

not

would

Although,

in

desist

tempt

till

some

them

general,

off

these

of

the

by

the

games

VOYAGE

"THE

bruise

with

off

passed

more

less

or

sorelymauled
again be seen

be

carried

to

for

the remainder

several

of the

others

with

sailors

were

would

off insensible
of the

That

day.

in

the

be

so

he

the

the

bat
com-

fact

with

of

event

or

would

; nor

clear, by
perilwas
always armed, some

cutlasses, since,

tunic

torn

Jarasch

others

at

as

of

than

damage

severe,

quite devoid

not

was

little other

115

OUT."

that

staves,

bite, and

blood

and
flowing,nothing but immediate
prompt aid could
the boy from
This he knew
well, and
being devoured.
exercises were
whenever
the slightalways discontinued
est

save

the

cut,
Each

or

even

seemed

day

for,

did the

so

display

over,

while

seated

I,
of

one

in

mode

the

with

which

he

then

any part of his person.


of these
excitement
bitions
exhiskilful in his defence,

more

of attack

"

In

travels.
in

works

most

ordered

to copy
in all

of

book

routes

mode

Syrian desert; now


through the wild regions on

crossing

way
Adriatic.

Tartary

At
the

or

the

dangerous
grounds of the
to

adventures
and

the

plains

passes

of

father, with
my
broken
law Latin
as

passed

it has

hours

recompense
the middle
watch

the

very
united with

sundown

to

human

interminable
I

believe
in

been

happy
; so

snatch

sometimes, the

the
the
be

Ukraine

shortest
shores

or

my

narratives

from

at

the

that

some

my

string
in all my

of

the

of

huntingthese
wildest
events

strangest

bastard

and

fortunate
after-life,

functions, I
of

of

clerkshipwith

respects, I
many
than
these were.
instead

the

another,

real

so

secretarial

that,

of

old

and

the steppes
;

life in aspects

the

for

extracts

delightfulhours were
highest interest ! The

different

Cordilleras

How

more

In

world

would
the

various

What

here

were

of

the

Maudans.

varied.

most

theme

snowy

people, presenting

and

at

time

full of

; how

me

the

one

went

foreign language of
acquire a knowledge, and

into

out

parts

he

afternoon

some

to

eager

the

of different

safest

that, their

ened
threatrapidity,and soon
the amusement
no
longer practicable. This
Sir Dudley
played at chess with Halkett,
behind
him, read aloud some
book,
usually

appeared

of

; besides

incredible

and
voyages
and
studied

below,

was

became

whelps

make

to

Jarasch

in

the

heighten

to

as

advanced

growth

scratch, existed

have

was

never

free of

turning into my
sleep before midnight, I

berth
could

116

CONFESSIONS

Lounge about

at

to

listen to

but

"

seaman's

some

oftener, book

far

from

sometimes

will,

in

dropping

yarn"

"

CREGAN.

CON

OF

hand,

of

into the
and

storm

taking

shipwreck,
in French

lesson

steerage

aide-depaid him in being


fat
more
hardy industry, assistingour
or, with
;
to polish up his Regensburg
mate
pistols,by which
some
progress in that tongue of harsh and mysterious
which

for

cook,

old

the

"

cuisiue
German
I made

gutturals.
Through

left me,
occupations the thought never
what
could be the object of Sir Dudley's continued
ging?
voyawith
associated
No
feature of pleasure was
certainly
it ; as little could it be attributed to the practiceof smuggling,
that
the very
he had
seas
longest cruised in forbade
to which
notion.
It must
be, thought I, that other reason
to his cabin ;
the day he called me
he so darkly alluded
on
tortured
could that be?
Never
and what
was
ingenuity more
less
mine
than
by this ever-recurringquestion; since it is needall these

"

"

tell the reader

to

then,

not

was

long time afterwards, acquainted with


his history I have
already jotted down.
of mine
but

for

within

lay at

doubtless

would

have

cabin,

side of the

one

This

which

from

very

last,

at

it still alive

I used

it was

osity
curi-

intense

itself out

worn

particularsof

those

in which

little state-room

The

me.

for

occurring to keep

slight circumstance

indeed

nor

write

to

entered,

no

"

getting to it existing ; a heavy silk curtain


the two ; and
this,
supplied the place of a door between
and
was
finished,
when
four o'clock came,
my day's work
it was
drawn
till the following morning, when
let down
was
aside, that Sir Dudley, from time to time, might see, and, if
Now, one
day, when we had been
needful, speak with me.
at sea,
the weather
about
three weeks
being intensely hot
fallen asleep in his cabin while I
and sultry,Sir Dudley had
sat writing away
Suddenly, I heard a
vigorously within.
other

shout
and
ham

of

meaii3

deck:

on

"The

immediately
of

one-paned
great blue

strained

window

beside

heaving

Still the

ocean

noise

shoal

of

whales

scufflingof feet, and

the sudden

voices, proclaimed

sight created.

along.

whales!

the

animation

myself
me,
as,

continued

to

but
in

and

ahead!"
the

heavy

interest

through the
peep
all I could see
was

majestic swell, it
; and, by the number

the
little

the
rolled
and

"THE

of the

tone

deck,
and

in
my

read

much

117

OUT."

detect

fact,

save

mind

was

to observe

burning

water,

I had

could

speakers, I

one,
every
! full as

"

VOYAGE

were

on

pointment
disap-

land

of

monster

every
of the

some

crew

What

myself.
of

about, and

all the

that

wonderful

things

destined

actuallyto be
denied
then gaziug !
I
a
were
sight on which my comrades
could
the thought no
endure
longer ; and although my task
each
was
morning allotted to me, and carefully examined
the next
day by Sir Dudley, I stepped lightlyout on tiptoe,
and
I should
not
lettingfall the curtain so that if he awoke
be missed, I stole up
the "companion,"
and
reached
the
so

now

deck.
What
motion

there ! the whole

sight was

with

the

great monsters, who, in pursuit

herrings,darted at speed through the


blowing, and tossingin all the wildest
eye
had

bent

was

depths of the
the

by

and

above

loaded,
but

capture made,

back

harpoons

and

none

for

Perhaps the very expectancy on


the interest,for certainlythe excitement
so

"

much

task, and, without

eagerly over
when

hardy enough

the tinkle of

the

rest

reaching
I

was

whereof,

the
so

up

that

so

thought

the

of

the

it

day,

terrified that
that

was

here, every

no

to

and

our

part

of the

consequences,

his

of

startled
dinner

was

full.

scene

and,
hour, and
offer

was

my

scene,
to

me,

It

creased
in-

hanging

the wild

in the

ask

about

was

opportunity
finish my
writing.

I lost all interest

time, my

were

him

would

mind

whale

tackle

awake

enjoyment

now

of

spouting,

actuallyforgot all

captain'sbell

state-room

to

of

the taffrail in full

horror, I remembered
for

to

them.

intense,

shoal

preparation for
every
dared
to venture
without

nor

was

and

orders,

any

scarcely covered
alternatelydipping

seen

and

it ;

in

quite straight into the

was

head

monstrous

emerging

was

of
"

confusion

down

is, gone

firearms

blue water,

was

us

still spot in the water, where

here, another

his

or

sought out,
attack

that

sea

water,

below

calm

on

sounded,"

"

around

sea

my

that,
of

my

spectacle,

my
first fault.

first

The
delinquency,and had all the poignancy of a
fractions
practised on others for even
severityI had seen
slight inand
I actuallydebated
of duty was
all before me,
with
be better
it would
not
to jump
myself whether
board
overof Sir Dudley.
than meet
the anger
at once
With
any

118

CONFESSIONS

OF

else, perhaps, I should

one

lie to

trying

about

good

since

me,

Sir

with

"

advice

to

me,

see
summon

Night

board, when

each

he
It

evening.

they

always

had

carry

before
and

state-room,

morning.

having made

all

for

and

myself fearlesslyover

fritters."

should

if I

could,

tranquil

to

rope to one
the gunwale,

the

to

more

or

the notion

how

myself

lower

on

aft

going
hour

an

through

over

little window

to finish it
paper
settingabout my plot;
of the clews, I lowered

the

away
I lost little time in
fast

to

none

was

not

that if I could

into

laud

from

gone

his custom,

remained

to creep

the

of the sailors

fate.

was

occurred, but it struck me


the side, I might be able

as

misfortune,
my
often told me
tended
por-

ever

just then, I know

was

be

anticipatedwhat

had

time, and
as

me

jest over

my

some

Halkett,

saw

cabin, where

the

in

ning
cun-

he could

knew

tasting his hemp


the bowsprit, where
with my grief,and,

meet

to

up courage
closed
had

some

warned

without

alone

commune

had

to tell any

brutal

down, therefore, beside

sat

of

me

he

indeed,

younker

no

Dudley

I well

the fate

to

; but

courage

some

allusion

coarse

land

result

absence

no

their

CREGAN.

bethought

him, and

I had

ask

fault, and
my
be the
would

have

my

deceive

to

his word.

as

some

for

accouut

CON

and

pushing open the


little sash, which
was
unfastened, I soon
managed to insert
head
and shoulders, and, without
dragging
my
any difficulty
So long as
body slowly after, entered the state-room.
my
the danger of the enterpriseand
its difficulty
lasted, so long
and
heart
I
was
high
fearless; but when
courage
my
my
in the little dark
down
sat
scarcely venturing to
room,
breathe, lest

I should

the papers
how
me,

the

voices
in

on
was

cabin

"And

so,

I do,

"

And

make

it !

increased

Dudley

and

beside

them

be

as

afraid

fruitless

the

were

as

touch

to

betray

actuallyheard
plainlyas though I

the
were

Sir
as

sir," said the other, in


yet you

when

Halkett

Halkett," said

expedition will
"

overheard, almost

table,lest their rustlingnoise should

this terror

of Sir

the

be

very

think

Dudley, "you
the others ?

low, dogged

who

man

this

"

tone.

encouraged

me

to

"

"And

likelythat

what
he

of

that?

should

be

Of

two

the leader

things,I thought
of

band

to

it

more

regiment

120

CONFESSIONS

yet, with

all

leave

spot

the

this, T

conversation

ready
this

hear

to

Heckenstein

assist

when

me

to entice

mean

excursion,

to bind

him

tracks,

to

the

few

miles

hand

and

the

Sir
the

need

the

second

'

remainder

of

to

the

by a spell; and
:
Dudley resumed
Greek,

must

aid ; for

my

pretence of

town, into

foot, and

effort

an

as

your

fellow, on

from

the
me

and
I

make

stir,nor

not

thoroughly bound
anxiety 1 listened,as

with

to

CREGAN.

had

in breathless

"You,

could

CON

fascination

OF

convey

portage,' where

the

follow,
plan is

pleasure

bush, there

him, by the forest


the

batteaux

are

stationed, by

one

easilybribed
yacht shall

There
the
drop down to Montreal.
in waiting all ready for sea.
Even
without
days will bring us off the Island of Orleans,

be

as

The

many

which

Canadian

these

"

fellows

if

more,

be

we

but

fortunate,

to

that can
happen is discovery and
very worst
if that ensue,
I '11blow his brains out."

and

if

And

"

succeed

we

are

shall

we

"

wind, three

and

of

in

carrying him

the

Gulf.

detection

off, Sir Dudley, what

then?"
"I

have

I 've

of

thought
it,I

would

put

bullet

long

I'll do.
mind, Halkett, what
my
of vengeance
schemes
found
; but, con-

be content

I, faith !

He

His

life too.

with

one

only, though fiftydeaths

hate."
his

skull,or swing him from


end
of it," said
Halkett,

through
make

and

yardarm,
roughly.
Not

must

the

"

up
hundred

satisfymy

not

"I'd

made

not

an

shall live ;

and, if I

have

will,
own
government would take charge of
that matter, at the quicksilver mines;
can

my

him

at

and

the absorption of
bones, from
they say the diseased
poison, is a terrible punishment. But I have a better

that

'

Irkutsk,'

for

remember
that low island off the east
you
shore of the Niger, where
fellows live in log huts,
the negro
from
the
all day to keep the caymans
threshing the water
notion

still.

Do

"

rice-grounds?

devil!"

"The

exclaimed

Halkett; "you'll

not

put him

there?"
"I

have

thought of

calmly.

"He'd

dream

it each

of

see

night too.

said

Sir

Dudley,
him
before
day, and
every
One
cannot
easilyforget that

it very
his doom

often,"

horrid

alive and

swamp,

ei-e
nigh two months
starting up in terror
arose

he

as

said

shake

and

curtain

in very

mouth

second's

an

the

adjust the

side,

gained the deck unobserved.


little or
real fatigue, for there
was

; but

yet

to the

over

effort

that

to

in her,

boat
a

on

such
that

coil of

had

familiarized

terrible

as

vengeance
yet to learn

that

bosom,
window, and,

could

It

have

not

in the

exertion

no

the

up

that

crept

midships, and, lying down


If my
cable, slept soundly till morning.
was

boyish experiences
of

in my

exhaustion

of

state
my
fastened

was

to

my
I felt as

clambered

rope,

and

been
feat

delay

the

graze

leaped

papers

after

without

heart

seat, crept through the

the

on

my

last,with

At

would

arm

then

life,I secured

of

and, standing up

his

passed

its folds, and

terror.

last chance

the

he

as

was

Dudley
impatient

with

cabin

the

walked

It

Sir

thought of them."

the

this, and

; sometimes

steps

fall

could

at

!
reptiles
asleep at night
those

with

moving
I

121

OUT."

VOYAGE

"THE

as

ever

mind
with schemes
my
fiction fabricated, I had

such

cherished

"gentlemen"

feelings;and

That
shock.
discovery gave me a tremendous
of injury was
Sir Dudley's mind
awful
debt
was
some
on
clear enough, and that I was
to be, in some
capacity or other,
aid to him in acquitting it, was
fact I was
vinced
conan
a
more
of than
pleased at. Neither did I fancy his notions

the

own

of summary

"

prejudiced
I

in

me

with

saw

perhaps it was

justice,
favor

justice,jury,

more

constitutional

most

of

and

executioner

legal education

my
formal

proceedings ;
the

horror

in

the

had

hands

function
of

but
of

single

one

individual.

So

I
impressed was
the high seas,
on

been

with

Alas, however,

the

all I had

mentioned

"

the

end

should

banks

of
on

slopes glitteringwith
but sand
are
heaps some

grassy

in

heard

these

"the
small
of

present
to

occurred

blue;" and

ocean

Newfoundland

out

our

"

voyage,
daisies,and

all

geological specimens

the

thoughts that
inevitablyhave

two
one

not

for it.

run

which,

after

imagined to be
dils
yellow with daffofathoms

knows

brought

hundred
ever

had

up

on

them

of
the

down
is

tallowed

deep-sea lead.
of

the

attempt it
about

for the
Escape, therefore, was
tion
question; but the steady determina-

was

week

spared
later.

me

by

circumstance

that

122

CONFESSIONS

After

OF

CON

days of calm, common


slightbut steady breeze

CREGAN.

bore

which

us

sight of the long,


gigantic monster,
Not

the water.

the

Gulf

low

island

up

with

the

sail till

easy

northeast,

we

in

came

of

Anticosti, which, like some


its dark, misshapen beach
above

raises

the

in from

set

tudes,
lati-

in these

enough

some

slightesttrace

of

verdure

foliageor

to

of land.
to the aspect
Two
give it a semblance
drearyone
looking log-houses,about eighteen miles apart, remind
that a refuge for the shipwrecked is deemed
in
necessary
this dangerous channel
trace
these, not
a
; but, except
exists to show
that the foot of man
had
trod that dreary

spot.
cook's

The
wheu

ship "

exists

crew

where

dwell

one

then, the dreadful


too
murders, were

strife,and
the

Among

on.

horrors

recorded

narratives
fearful

had

committed

great atrocity,and
the

of

penalty

of

said

rumor

be

could

might
He

that

he

at

last

was

have

four

men

and

The
had

terms

fear of him
been

in the island
could

be

found

when

visited

since

the

the

succor

to

that

of

crews

seas,

Boatswain

and
had

all, and

at

his

of

opinion

body

that

he

been

up

liberal

their abode

vessels, none
at the

even

long lapse
seen,

who

terrible air of

wrecked

; and

after

party

one

although very
to take

men

accept the post

these

Black

such

to induce

offered

to

was

; for

possessing the
although the proverbial
very probably did, color

than
narratives, the sad fate of more
the stories
set out to capture him, gave

truth.

him

seen

trace

as

might,

fear

with

and

for

met

his escape.
described
was

was

of

mainland,

the

; and

He

circumstances

ever

Still,no

inclined

some

sailors

exaggeration of

had
been

not

dead.

made

negro,
three or

Few

the

to

found, and

strength of

had

guilt.

was

under

revisit

not

back, indeed, he had

years

these

dared
his

murder

to

hand
all
every
who
had
never

on

agreed in speaking of a terrible character


quitted the island for upwards of forty years.
sailor who

horrors

gloomy shore; scarcely a


belonging to it has not had a

there ; and

starvation, and

of

of

this

near

some

its share

have

to

sure

lies to"

wrecked

messmate

is

galley

no

one

of

period
years
would

venture.

The

story

went

that

his

ghost

still wandered

there, and

VOYAGE

"THE

that

night, when

at

the Gulf
cries
"

the

sent

could

brace

with

be

spray

round

the

storm

and

low

calling aloud

that

made

dreary island, his


sail,"

to

hatchways," mingled

hair

the very

of

waves

"shorten

to

the

close

yards,

the

high, and

was

that

over

heard,

blasphemies

If

the

123

OUT."

stand

end.

on

triplemail of incredulity,
in his easy-chair,before
so
a sea-coal
fire,
snugly ensconced
afford
to scoff at such
can
perils,not so did I, as I sat in a
of the galley,gathering with greedy ears
the horrors
corner
and
that fell on
then
side, and now
stealing out to
every
of
bank
cast
at the long low
the bulwarks
a
glance over
the

with

reader, armed

sand, which

seemed

than

mass

solid

the

like

more

of rock

exhalation

an

the water

from

and

shingle.
said that a feeling of rivalry existed
between
the
Moorish
boy, El Jarasch, and myself ; and although I endured
the scoffs and
at first with a humility my
humble
sneers
own
a

I have

garb and

anomalous

confidence

more

becoming

in

dress

in

rest

species of
inspire; for

that

somehow

letters

gold

and

to

of

the

crew,

on

my

cap,

and

wore

well

as

began

soon

as

feel

to

assurance

was

now

the

name

on

the breast

of

the
of

waistcoat.

my

hatred

The
mutual

More

me,

warned

was

sure

his

than

30

lions,El

ribs, and

the

I neither
to
more

received

that

his

in
nor

would

place,
after
cabin.

came

the

Sir

of

cowardice

have

mine, coupled with

state

that

an

to

his

had

never

avowed

he

between

Moorish

blood

only laughed
him

confront

on

fierce encounter
broke

occurred.

the

tures
crea-

take

third
for

front

vauntings

willingness to
sent

berth,

bolder

These

the

his

I affected

rendered

preserved

of

his

misfortune.
had

with

one

to
insensibility

at

when

little wasted

was

on
Dudley's ears
accident, and he immediately

to

befriended

fall which

regrettedhis

own

daring, and

the mischance

always

that

myself ready
he pleased. Generosity
that when
one
day, in a

Jarasch

day,

felt ; but

vengeance

and

every
intercourse

had

said

and

with

only

avowed

pitied him
say

the

were

boy,

his

carried

was

increased

Halkett, who

once,

to make

either side,

gibes

of

me

however

even

El Jarasch

and

caution, and

and

the

of

scoffs

us.

of

myself,

seems

attired like the

yacht

position enforced, I

me

his

evening
to

his

124

OF

CONFESSIONS

sirrah," said be,

Is it true,

"

CRKGAN.

CON

in

harsh, unpleasant voice,

jesting about Jarasch, and saying that


ready to take charge of the whelps in his stead?"
you were
11 It
is," said I, answering both questions together.
M

"You
"

have

been

shall do

so

that you

take

can

do

something

this he motioned

me

to leave

that

care

with

and

I at

who

Moor."

Many
it

as

the

all

were

was

to

counsels

the

received

sufferingtheir rough play

even

Others,

it.

over

to teach

them

It

I did

I felt it
I to

"Were

was

notions, and

also

better

infliction of

wherein

ordeal

an

acquit myself well, there

towards

Whereas

to bear

his taunts

me.

and

point only

mere

of all the

the advice

not

me,

actly
ex-

were

end

an

stake.

at

was

forever

Moorish

failed,I

without

sarcasms

duty.

my

men

fame
my
be
would

if I

own,

accorded

always
and
not be perilled,
sprain or fracture ;

superioritythe

assumed

one

the

as

loaded, life could

arms

of

In

knew,

the

lessons

severe

counsel, I

insultingairs

those

of

three

check

to

to seek

once

vauntings, I felt to be
night with
very anxious

the

dread

not

effort

This

how

respect.

altogether a
through fear, because
their

at

or

the

some

any

me

two

about

late

was

with

by

not

own

my

what, after my

ready
but

caution, if

in with

chimed

contrary, advised

the beasts, and

mastery

with

the

on

of

without

with

asserting
be too gentle with
hurting them, and

not

animals, avoiding the slightestrisk

the

interview

than

me

morning;

next

"

boast!

as

report my

friendlywith

more

first time, I could

my

well

as

the cabin.

steerage

the

were

myself

conduct

should

that,

you

repaired to

once

to the men,
"

then," repliedhe, solemnly;

to-morrow,

boy

must

had

consent

murmur.

agreed, which

crew

ferocious
larger and more
fulness.
watchmore
the male, should
than
particularlydemand
my
that you
desist,"
she scratch
"If
you, boy, mind
had been
sailor,who
long on the African
said an old Danish
re-echoed
This caution was
by all ; and, resolvingto
coast.
that

was,

follow

was

cub, much

female

its dictates, I

of combats
I

the

and

"

battles

early astir,
"

turned
till

in

"

to my

hammock,

to dream

morning.

waking

with

sudden

start.

I had

dreaming of a lion-hunt, and fancied I heard the deepmouthed


roaring of the beasts in a jungle; and, true enough.

been

low,

monotonous

howl

came

from

the

place

where

the

VOYAGE

"THE

animals

had

simply

small

to

to

the

begin

in

durance.

"I've

"At

made

for

the

almost

beast

or

No

"If

the

said

yet

never

that

been

added
if you

customed
ac-

I should

four

days

Halkett,

"he

please."

"I'm

I'm

sure

he, "is

able

same

kind
cruel.

of

They

leave

to

the creatures'

are

"I'm

as

it so, I have

promised Sir Dudley


so

had

Sir

to

countrymen,

natures,

they are
anything,

"

trust

never

them

"

will have

you

Halkett

speaking

better

feet

do."

can

chaps

and

when

"

was

and

arms,

had

as

venture

boy,"

costume

strong

he

as

is, and

my

less."

is not

other;

the

been

time,"

can

matter," said I.

courage

that

fellow

you,
Moorish

stealthy,treacherous,
"

and

had

mind," said I.

to

Those
have

he

same

; you

up my
the black

anything
advice
"My

alone.

that

the

to

the choice

gives you

say

their

liberty.

at

head,

my

of

morning

once

whelps, it was
acquaintance after they

the

not

on

cap

matter,

myself

man

been

having

Fez

me

about

Dudley

and

fourth

just completed my
dressing,
short
of
loose
pair
trousers, hands,

down

came

the

now

"

and

bare,

was

without

confined

being

it

for

lay,

125

OUT."

now

I 'd

nothing

give

get the

staff

you
from

short

thick

truncheon

to say,

advice

no

indeed, I

"

one

way

Jarasch, and

or

come

on

deck."
The

brass

boy

staff

each

at

in his

"So

end,

you're going
his

fire,and
Don't
"

he

spoke,

not
not

weapon

his

take

to

oak, tipped with


used

ever

place!"

my

by

the

or

is,"

used

"

if he

knowing

without

said

that.
and
his

the

black

were
lighted up like coals of
eyes
teeth glanced between
his purple lips.

white

well

said

dark

"

shook
"

only

my poor pet cubs ; be


's the staff?
said I, not

it

"There

coward

the

hurt

Where

enough

and

of

encounters.

fellow, while
"

was

as

frame

he;

"

You'll
he

affected

but

not
a

head

them."

need

in which

tone

earnest

white

your

spoke,
from

gentle with
likingthe

or

jest.

hands

the

kind

of

to

foot.

will

weapon

shuddering

Come,

be
the

vulsion
con-

I ought
come," said I, stretchingout my hand,
called you
to have
that you
a
coward, Jarasch,
are
! I ask you
to forgive me
; will you ?
"

"

"

126

CONFESSIONS

He

spoke,

never

that 1 could

so

but

not

CON

nestled

even

shake

us

you're
else !
"

bauds
well

and

up,

I must

this time

fight it

cau

then," said he

me,

embrace,

hammock,
drew

my
and

had

put his

had

inserted

he

hammock,

be off!
least.

at

about

out

; and

Let
When

something

enemy,

with

courage.
I had
need

around

my
the

neck,

blood

from

his

muscular

my
with a

that

him, and

far

short

nod

my
deck, it

who

all

were

who

mously
unani-

exercise

greeted
back

me

he

across
on

fitter to

waved

he

then

arrived

that

shirt, and

my
vein

legs, and

was

Jarasch

know

the crew,

and

arms

of

own

congratulationsof

When

not

collar

When

the Moor.
whelps than was
Sir Dudley said nothing.
towards

up

I did

the

shoulders.

pronounced

came

made

the ladder

both!

for

my
beneath

of

streak

my

stepped

neck, and
he mine,

have

to

sorry

the;

over

my
and

forehead,

not

round

arm

his

I leaned

in,

for

fancy

no

firm

his hand

to receive

placed one

fashion

I had

though
asked

was

I kissed

what

between

it

; and

him,

arm

long

struck

while

only

1 little knew

back

tone

Moorish

light heart

drawn

the

towards

with

peace

or

and

me

true

was

already.

friends

we

in the

his face.

see

be

down

"

Kiss

the

and

CREGAN.

lower

There, they 're calling me

kk

in

OF

the

me

as

with

his

motion
which, having something contemptuous
a
hand,
I had
not
much
in it,pained me
acutely at the moment.
whelps were
time, however, to indulge such feelings. The
the
wooden
bars of
already on deck, and springing madly at
to
their cage
for liberty. Eager as themselves, I hastened
"

unbolt
No

the door
sooner

side

of

were

deck

the

set them

and

they
and

clearing with

when

chance

by

instant

to

any

while

again.

In

call them
had

I his

up

large than they set off down one


the other, careering at full speed,
stood

whatever

bound

meeting each

with

glaringeyes
and
passing stealthily

stare

then, either
crouch

at

free.

the

other

all this I had

back,

cleared
no

like Jarasch,

warily past,
to

way

for

swelling nostrils
at

them

or

spring,

play.

whose

dexterity in catching

their

other, stopping

and

him

part

in

voice
as

one

and

I could

ami
an

; and

would
so

off

neither

they knew,
they went,

nor

and

128

C0NFES8I0NS

Dashing
with

right

shout

between

hands, and

both
of

"

Bravo]

"

feat, and with


dropped suddenly on
the stall
have

not

fast

about
The
a

deck.

was

the

the

head

stunning

moment,

was

now

him

him

hurled

the

knee

one

he

as

legs. Had
rapidly; down
To
spring on

work

of

with

my

effect

of

he been

his

me.

him

shot, he could
like

back

dead

hold

and

him

belabored

him

fists.
his first fall gave

he

fair

fight; for if I sometimes

shake

of

struck

went,

second, while

at

and

came,

but

the

me

attacked

rallied,and

soon

made

he

the boldness

at

fellow

throat

the deck.

upon

crew

the

by

one

back

the

bound

more

the

down

them, I seized

the fore

on

fallen

on

mass,

CEEGAN.

CON

burst from

the

with

OF

me

victoryfor
boldly. It
in making

succeeded

huge head or drop his paw with pain, more


than once
he staggered me
with a blow
which, had it been
the struggle.
have decided
only quickly followed, would soon
At last,after a scuffle in which
he had nearly vanquished me,
he

made

with

the

his

leap

staff

on

pain, and, with


beneath

Up

of

mess

of

roar

the female

food, but
the

even

I had

gave
to hide

power
of
roar

loud

himself

away

eating and snarling as


battle.
Scarcely, however,

cub

been

heard

than

not

yet

my
recovered

at

from

she

though
had

lifted her

with

me

an

the

the

head,

expression

recall.

will

dreams

now,

stirred from

never

continued

was

other

had

and, slowly turning round, stared


which,

he

of such

boat.

mouthful

every

that

blow

drooping tail,slunk

this moment

to

I put in

my throat.
the forehead

at

exhaustion

the

of

late

my

half kneeling on the deck, as


sitting,
the whelp stood glowering at me, with every vein in her vast
forehead
her large, red eyes seeming to dilate
swollen, and

encounter,

she

as

and

half

was

looked.

The

attitude

striking,for the

crew

how

admired

much

they

head, hurled

had

carried

me

her clean

back
over

already up, on my knees,


Again she tried the same

heartiness

been

have

must

showed

that

her.

So

her

with

cheered

long as I sat unmoved


prepared to arise,she gave

the creature

of

she

upon

and

stirred ; but

when

bound, and, strikingme with


the deck : her own
impulse

one

me,

never

and

when

better

manoeuvre

she

prepared
; but

returned,
to receive

this time

was

her.

leaped

VOYAGE

"THE

feet, and, springing on

to

my
blow

top of

the

on

attack, with

the

beast

The

was

Twice

the

men

excited

now

me

gave
to

heavy

the

same

each

blow

; and

at

fresh

courage.

dreadful

her

thrice

or

result, followed

same

from

gallant cheer

side, struck

one

head.

the

129

OUT."

but

degree ;

her

wilder and
passion favored me, for her assaults were
circumspect than at first. At length, just as I was
again making the side leap by which I had escaped, my foot
she was
ere
slipped,and I fell. I was
scarcelydown
upon
very
less

not,

me,
shock

before,

as

she

weight ;

herself

threw

while

strike with

to

her

bade

and

two

go

back

them

wearied,
when

if to crush

of

rescue

my

myself, for

to

me

For

to

minutes

some

me

face.

my

advanced

leave

and

conquered.

not

inches

others

rude

by her
terrific mouth, frothy and

and

few

but with

paws,

as

me,

huge head

steaming, lay within


Halkett

across

her

only

was

lay

we

but

thus

I
strength once
length, having recovered
more,
grasped the whelp's throat with both hands, and then by a
effort threw
her back, and rolled myself uppertremendous
most.
at

She
me

upon
her

she

closed

with

from

me

the throat
in

face, and

once

; she

it,and

saw

cry, the most


brain.

my

"Save
heard

on

wounding

every

side ;
and

all from

tell how,

I cannot
a

wound

in my
heart:

in my
Several
of the
VOL

but

none

same

in my

i.

"

ment,
frag-

to catch
over

streak

on

my
between

instant

on
sprang
terneck, while her rible

heard, rang

ever

She's

him!

rolled

bloody

the

killinghim!"
dared

through
were

fire for

to

now

fear

of

terrible rage of the animal


deterred
her.
The strugglewas
now
a life-and-

the

approaching
one
alternatelyfallingand
; and

death

from

the

they met
appalling ears

Save

me,

at

the

paw
upon
I endeavored

failed,and

as

him!

her

pieces.

but

more,

I felt her teeth

me.

with

Jloingso, disclosed

shoulders

my

on

herself

breast, and
my
it in a hundred

ripped
by

turned
free, however, and
on
knees, and with the staff I dealt
my
the leg. A terrific howl
followed, and
in full fury. Seizing my
shirt,she tore

now

was

fierce blow

it away
her

shook

soon

for

blood

the

forehead
"If

sailors

I
came

blinded

; and

fall, she
near

we
rolling,
me

only

felt

shall not

enough

to

fought
as

it

"

came

firm pose
pursurvive
me."
one

strike

her with

130

CONFESSIONS

cutlasses

their
and

Let

With

last
and

gangway,

last

my

very

her

backwards

forward

to

to

grew

dying.

effort

the

fainter,

on

her

see

ocean,

fell

the
as

bore
back

"

after

rage,

to

seized

her
On

sea.

rapid
her

upon

I fell

away
the

against

that

the

by

Gulf

flung

deck,

which

bulwark.
the

open
seemed

and

knees

hurled
I

leaned

hurrying

then,
and

in

myself

-stream,
and

the

throat
and

hands

to

loudly.

struggle,

knees,

my

Halkett.

Dudley,

fierce

exertion

an

the

Sir

cried

shoulder,

with

earth,
into

staggered

then,

her

cried

her!"

through

as,

the

by

me

increased

only

desist.

her

words,

CREGAN.

CON

wounds

bullet

shoot

to

these
seized

had

to

put

dare

heard

just
she

her!
none

these

them

to

"Shoot

but

cried

OF

as

believed

ward
on-

sight

my
I

was

"MEANS

lion

my

not

that

peculiar pain ;

had

in my

neck, and

which, I

one

result, is

change
with
of

its

own

often

of

closed

those

still deeper

another

shoulder, had

my
"

not

very

bound

stone

and
saints

to

painful

position gave
eyes

that

just begun
am

nor

in

me

crossed
one

say,

sees

joint in

while

intolerable

anguish,

hands,

old

body

fleshypart

of

"union,"

slightest

The

its progress.

upon

satisfactoryin

however

not

in

all my

called

process

was

sharp wound

in the

one

hammock

in my

low, half-torpid state,

limb

and

adventure,

stretched

after

evening

second

the

was

MEDITATIONS."

AND

bad

as

lay,

resemblance

tombstones.

132

faculties

My

are

occupation, I

this

the

when

it

moment

somewhat

"

degree of confidence
account
balancing my
once

more

myself,
wish

light,and

worse

Would

clear

was

started

"

of the

score

I undo

reviews

rarely thinks

of making

past" is in
had
gained

little but

in

Up
rience
expe-

acquired nothing, save


world

and

had

but

one

of

way

by asking

was

father's

'

my

greater

Would

power?

past, if in my

back

favor.

our

Fortune, which

the

be

to

one

to do

Such

late life.

I had

better

nothing

opinion of the
in myself. I
with

dant
that, having abun-

so

had

brief

; I had
a

the

CREGAN.

acute,

retrospect of my
rather,
or
rarely satisfactory,
take

them
to

CON

clear and

were

for

leisure
than

OF

CONFESSIONS

mud

edifice,'

a kind
digging a drain, now
drawing an indictment,
foot
in a potato furrow,
of pastoral pettifogger,with one
I stoutly said, "No!"
a
and the other in petty sessions?"
times
! to this question.
thousand
no
I could not ask myself as to my preferencefor a university
for my
abruptly,in spiteof
collegelife had concluded
career,
town
enough
still,during my
experiences I saw
me
; but
The
to leave
me
no
regrets at having quitted the muses.
vice gyp., for
have it,
life of a " skip,"as the Trinity men
is only removed
word
the Greek
signifying a "vulture,"
by a thin sheet of silver paper from that of a cabin boy in a
collier; copious pummelling and short prog being the first

now

"

"

"

"

"

articles

two

has

marine

skip
for

is

invariably expected

his master's
either

his

education

to

be

This

occasions.

other
is

expected

is

too, he

perfectly "Spartan;"

is

is

of

truth

that
reasons

he

as

it

to defend

learns

knows

he

what

all

on

hard, inasmuch

somewhat

only in a man's graduate course


paradox, and support by good

when

they
this point
On
but, unhappily

perfect mirror

discretion"

thrashed

adverse.

out

turn

or

always

is

shore.

on

lies "at

invent

to

benefit, and

discovered

are

respects the

in some
; while
your warrant
him
natural
advantage over

of

to

false.

be

Again,
at

least

once

"skip"
a

untidiness
has

as

sections.

week
of

never

for

disorders

appearance;

little intercourse

with

in his dress, and

this, too, is
soap

as

he

hard,
has

flogged

is

clothes, but

receives

for

eral
gensince he

with

conic

Thirdly,
at

master

"Foles's"
not

born

are

poets,

born

own

his

proper

valet,

as

aptitude for

instinctive

an

for

cheese-paring.

to be

supposed
have

to

"

get

is

Fourthly, a skip

for

trust

his

while, in

chop-house;

would

capacity,he

credit

obtains

skip invariably

good

133

MEDITATIONS."

AND

"MEANS

some

all the

of before ; so
heard
seen
or
things he has never
leather
he
that when
patent to French
applies Warren's
the fire with
boots, polishes silver with a Bath brick, blows
with a razor,
he finds it passing
candles
cuts
", quarto, and
Tc
be "had
up" for punishment.
strange that he should

"details of

without

fat

be

be

to

and

vagabond,

to be

praised

much

to

to

as

expect

pass

fifteen

at

thrashed
of

for

as

honesty,

lying,
"

is too

age.

occupation
regrets. The
Betty's
Lastly, as
horse-boy,like the professionof physic, has no " avenir."
to

of

then

ful
wake-

be known

to

unblemished

for

years
I had

be

fire,to

clothes,

without

current

liar, and

without

warm

clad

sleep, to be

without
a

food,

The

the

utmost

hold

is to order

promise to himself is
aspiring can
his neighbors, as the Doctor's
success

most

than

horses

more

to

is

nothing beyond these;


feels the necessity for an

There

senna."

"

more

no

higher path opens to him who


"
with
but one
to it!
round
It is a ladder
upward course."
there.
sell out
No, no ; I was
right to
that is,I
My steeplechasemight have led to something,
a
jockey; but then, again, one's light
might have become

no

"

"

"

like

weight,

and
year or two;
into
you sink down
a

as

all

if,after reaching
life

begin

again

all "trammels,"

once

never

set

to walk

without

on

you

or

groom
silk gown

in

patron.

Now,

your

mind,
to

that

well

as

are
on

you
not

your

fourth-rate
the

have

had

tenor, just

regulatethe
do

this,one

had

man

to

Besides, in

the

who, because

man

after

popularity,

if any
resolve
it was
this : never

any
legs, should
To

of

bar, a
Exchequer !

the

should

vanish

to

sure

heyday
a

at

through a long life.


manhood's
a particleof

sentiments
as

bad

walks

volition ; otherwise

heart

the

itself in my
to be bound

fixed

patron,

then, from

crier

as

various

these

voice, is

"contralto"

of

worst

had

oughly
thor-

to have

he had

pace you were


should
be born

absolutely without
go through life a livinglie,talking
wearing a liveryin your
yours, and

back

spirit,
"

134
do

Why

such

hear

we

who, being

men,

and
that
life's

tirades

CREGAN.

ahout

the

by others,

routine

"

contract

was

never

is

degradation

heavy

fair one,

to

sum

ingratitudeof

their inferiors

"

above
the low
soar
gold,
into personal independence?

rise

the

CON

assisted

once

everything save

Let

that

for

ism,
toady-

remember

us

and

pay

of

in

whole

dinner

with

My Lord," I
cup of tea with her Highness.
thinks differently
it is one
of the very pleasaware,
; and
ant
of
that
delusions
little folk are
his high station to fancy

his

Grace,

am

or

"

him,
upon
fellows
by his

dependent
their

careless

in the

nod

that this is

consequently, as
about
It

was

him

and,

I own,

could

be

occasion
As

capital,that
a legaltender
; and
bond fide services, is

never

actual

no

flash note.

my

was

do

to

free

as

; and

me

to

it

him

leave

if occasion

so,

not

was

the

hour,
he
the

views.

fortunes, Halkett

past
my
followed

on

that

permitted, as
long before

exercising these

for

lay thus, ruminating

descended

by Felborg, the
held a light to my
asleep?" said Halkett.

steerage-ladder,
and, approaching nay hammock,

Dane

face

for

"Still

seconds.

few

boy! he has
this morning.

wound

as

presented itself

"Poor

get rid of

to

is

know

not

principlethat I accepted Sir


acquaintance began by my rendering

of

ready

as

does

that represents

payment

service; and

Lord"

"my

requital for

Our

offer.

But

will,and

breach

no

Dudley's

recognition in

at

they obtain among


public, or by his most

consequence

currency

honest

as

what

"

street.

paper
convertible

it is not

since

awoke

never

I 'm

it 's better ;

sure

so

dressed
let

his
leave

us

so."

him

ay,"

"Ay,
come

said

the

enough,

soon

without

one

it?

do

more
"

when
"

it

Have

speak

not
"

said

has

He

have

to do.

shoot

so

was

you

no

done

I told him

him

on

and

him

's

being

"

added

knew

never

sleep;
awoke

bad

to

he, with
him

tidings

hear

them.
and

lower

fail in his promise

cruel one."
influence

the

for

"let

Dane,

he '11 do
think
you
anxious
tone.

But

to

OF

CONFESSIONS

boy

all I

could,

I could

board

him, Halkett?

over

Could

you

it was

safe

"

"

n't
and

more

than

answer

for

he

replied to

perhaps
the

men,
me

if he

short,

were
k

I '11

136
"

I befriended

every one
mind
Never

on

"

added,

"

On

"

Ay, why

"

paused

"

here,

much

nor

second

There's

room

two, then

or

what's

bullet

few

days

cruisers

the

there

touch

but

has

He

people off.

and

to

Dane.

does

alia

Beym
I 'd

but

paces,

weeks

few

alone

better

are

here."

No!

so.

at three

or

for him

in store
think

biscuit

of

store

bare yesterday ; but what


flag-staff

the

saw

I don't

ashore

shudder.

now," said the

there

one

no

that matter

him

shove

he 's there."

show

flagto

No.

than

always

to take

weeks

seven

or

"

better

log-houses, and

in the

There's

do

Felborg, with

said

not?

water

"

the

risk

no

always

"

since

"

; it

him

on

yonder."

Anticosti

every six
hoist the

"

He

can't

thinking we

the island

than

's

luck

"

"I'm

fresh

bad."

or

since

There

tuat.

luck, good

for

CREGAN.

CON

help does u't bring bad

if my

Ay,

h;is

on

OF

CONFESSIONS

that

meet

not

I 'd stand

Deyvelm!

chap

negro

alone."
"

Oh, he 's dead


the

and

this many

gone

'

Rodney transport was


the island
last fall, they searched
of him.
could n't find a trace
They
"

When

'

alive

pretty clear if he were


if he were
Ay, just so,
it 's

and
"

alive !

"

take

frightenthe boys

to

get up

It's
the

yonder

from

lad

morning

'11tell Sir

we

in the

night, in

it 's true

I say, Con
other had mounted
"

"

something
"

I know

might

be

to

of

tell

were

years
end, and

to

weeks

seven

there,

"
"

"

believe

those

they

yarns
"

short

fate, and

help, you

shall have

quick and

None

there, two
end

from

Halkett.

galley?
reckoning," said Felborg,

my

my
said

wrecked

in the cook's

need

enough,"

after the boat.

whether

if you

; but

to

mercy,

scarce

"That's

the

don't

You

man!

"Nonsense,

year," said

Halkett;

our

"

fellows

Dudley
fit of

go
will

that he

on

frenzy.

him

leave
it."

look

deck, and

He

himself
'11

in

; and

betray us

threw

"to

board
over-

little

care

false."

or

Con, my
the

lad," said Halkett,

ladder.

"Wake

up,

as

soon

my

as

boy;

the
I've

you."

it," said I, wishing

precious;

"

I 've been

to spare

time, which

dreaming

all about

thought
it."

is

fellow, his mind

"Poor

Come,

"

to himself.

muttered

wandering,"
and

lad, try

my

137

MEDITATIONS."

AND

"MEANS

put

Halkett

your clothes,

on

"

from
and
with that he lifted me
jacket ;
my
dress.
to
and began to help me
hammock,
that Sir Dudley sent
I was
dreaming, Halkett," said I,
with the swivel, but
fired at me
adrift in the punt, and
me
"

here 's your

"

"

how

showed
You

"

wasn't

put

Never

"

it strikes

tales

lettingout
did n't

understand

but

soundings."
it,Halkett," said I,

I want

peculiar philosophy ;

my

speech, and

but

went

he

saw

with

on

my

silence.

in

dressing

"

years
life where

in

course

my

bit of

the

when

brave

be

always

can

you
laid down

I ;

lad, he 's dead

my

'11 steer

that

energy
him.

is there."

Boatswain

Boatswain,

me

never

an

imposed upon

dream

Black

the

"

with

Halkett,

Anticosti, Halkett," said

on

the Black

fear

ago ; and
old wives'
"

ashore

me

cruel !

that

said

supposed

the

me."

saved

out and
that you rowed
"That's
just it!"

the
advice about
give me
island, and the log-houses, and the signal-ensign; in fact,
all that could
about
possibly concern
safety and speedy
my
to divulge
concluding with a warning to me, never
escape,
been
the occasion
of
accident
had
that anything but a mere

my
mine

being

cast

pointed

fare

"Why
hateful

to you

emotion

yourself warm

"for

with

or

said

more

I had

never

and

snug,

that," said

of

witnessed
for

and

then

it

this life is

"

he, with

as

whoever

and here
log-house,
Come
ball.
along, now,
"

is
or

degree of

before.

mustn't

you

'd be

the

I;

in him

"

reach

it, and

he

"

of us."

some

suspected by
you
island ; here 's my
brandy-flask and a
for you '11take
small bag of biscuit,
clothes,

he,"

for

myself."

to
no

and

other

or

know

too, Halkett?"

come
as

day

one

sake

own

your

"he'd

"

boy;

which

for

after-cabin,

badly
not

"Hush,

said he;

the

to

to

"This

away.

too, Con,"

would

continued

meanwhile

Halkett

take
takes

"

any
you

tinder-box
six

or

carry

spare
off the

that 's
hours

seven

pistol,with

shall

Make

some

you

to

powder
up

the

ladder?"

"No,
seem

I'm

free from

able

enough now,"

pain

while

said I,

stepped

up

making
on

deck.

an

effort

to

138

CONFESSIONS

1
met

here ;

me

thrice

there

last the boat

At

CON

CREGAN.

affectionate
crew

not

was

token

gift in

little

the

the

of

each

and

over,

some

for

prepared

not

was

OF

of

shook

my

hand

did

not

press

one

Halkett

motioned
to
descending noiselessly,
the side, and, waving
boldly over

above,
It

sat

was

heave

to

last

in the stern

to

calm

night, with

nothing

present in

stretched

or
me

upon

the

their oars,

and

steer,

three

stepped
to those

directed.

was

darted

that rolling

save

sea,

Gulf-stream

others,

good-bye

as

of

and
follow.

me

down

ever

twice

remembrance.

lowered, and

was

leave-takingwhich

and

the

now

swiftly on,

not

breaking the deep stillness.


Although the island lay within six miles, we could
nothing of it against the sky, for the highest point is

see

men
a

to

we

word

twelve

than

more

little

the water-level.

feet above

nothing was
spoken as we rowed along
the dark
and
over
swellingwater ; but this silence did not
ahead
of us the long low outline of the
impress me till I saw
dreary island shutting out the horizon ; then a sensation of
Was
I to linger out a few
over
me.
sickening despair came
of life on
short hours
that melancholy spot, and die at last
I have

said

exhausted

that

broken-hearted?

and

of the brilliant
Con

"

said

I,

capitalto

stand

ruined

with

are

"Run
; and

men

the

its losses,

be

the end

"Ah,

in?"

"

"

glidedinto

cried Halkett

then, after about

keel

the

grated on

twenty

the

to

little bay of stillwater

land, and

rowing, her

stout

revelled

often

here, in this creek!

the boat

lee of the

"

deal !

bad

one

so

to

have
must
of life,a man
game
its runs
of evil fortune ; but you

play the

"to

in

her

I had

dream

this

"Was

under

minutes'

rugged, shinglyshore

of

Anticosti.
"We
shoals
"

"

for

some

matter," said I, tryingto affect

No

choking

my

for

the

me

drop

throat

I 've

and

think

of

blowing

the

to

feet

froth

would

off the

be

Halkett; "it

easy,

an

made

swelling heart
wet

said

jocular air,

far from

like

easy ;
felon at

the

it

porter because

was

!"

unwholesome
"

you dry-shod,Con,"
here."
distance
land

cannot

better

said he; "but

hopes of

you

than

that

good-bye! good-bye!"

He

comes

shook

to, lad !
my

hand

"

"MEANS

with

like

grasp
; the

me

others

more

than

made

it tiresome

yards, when
boat's

giving

crew,

it,but my

loud

voice

failed

had

; the

me

reached

land

the

and

; I

me

parting

It

next

scarcely
bottom
hundred

it

weariness,

the

was

to

half

about

from

whether

down

answer

they had

moment

in

tried

salute.

then,

cap

was

turned

wards
to-

; and

me

clay-like,spongy
only gone a few

struck

cheer
me

the

!
point,and I saw them no more
now
plodded wearily on, and

the

of

back

biscuit,I pressed my

mid-leg, but
walking. I

over

farewell

kind

his

with

down

sat

stepped into the surf.

and

eyes,

my

took

little bag of

shouldering my
over

and

vice,

139

MEDITATIONS."

AND

turned

hour

an
or

some

not,
touching shore, I know
the
I threw
down
shingly stones,
myself heavily
upon
!
too
dreamed
of fair
sleptsoundly,
ay, and dreamed

strange instinct of security on


but
and

"

lands

far

such

away,
travels, where

of

growing,
floated
air

and

past

birds

where
with

flowers
and

and

delicious

insects

of

murmuring

sweet

of

in

fruits

gaudiest
that

song

books
were

colors

made

the

tremble.

Who

has

not

imagined himself
his

bright

read

often

have

as

fortune, and

have

been

under

read

' '

Robinson

combating
pictured
this

or

with

of

some

to his mind

that

"

Crusoe

what

and
the

who

has

not

difficulties of

might

his conduct

emergency?

No

speculationsare pleasanter,when
indulged at our own
rial
matefireside,in an easy-chair,after having solaced our
nature
by a good dinner, and satisfied the " moral"
that the Three
man
us
by the " City Article," which assures
for the Account
are
are
rising,and that Consols
per Cents
in a very
state.
Then, indeed, if our
thoughts
prosperous
accident
by any
stray to the shipwrecked sailor, they are
blended
with a wholesome
philanthropy,born of good digestion
and
fair worldly prospects ; we
ourselves
that
assure
should
have
made
exertions
that he
we
preciselythe same
"

"

did, and
like him.

penter,
comported ourselves in all the varied walks of cartailor,hosier, sail-maker, and boat-builder
exactly

The

if

accidentallyout of
temper with our
neighbors, we cordiallyacknowledge that
the retirement
feature in his history; and
not the worst
was
if provoked by John
the footman, we
Thomas,
are
ready to
chances

are,

too, that

140

CONFESSIONS

that there

BWeai

fingerthan

in the

Richmond

CREGAN.

gratitude in Friday's little black


body corporate of flunkeys, from

more

whole

Blaekwall.

to

sentiments
very laudable
circumstances
I have
mentioned,

the

difficult to
found

It

cold

Not

march.

path

was

the
of

the backbone
washed

had

of

stiffened

be

to

was

Anti-

on

scattered

Halkett's

seen

of

traces

with

bruises, I
left

was

points.
indeed,

footsteps,for

slaty shingle, with

fish,and

Refuge"

I
compass,
the cardinal

no

for

kind

of

mass

easy

my recent
west"
was

by

rising sun
any

from

scarcely^have borne

uniform

one

the

and

as

are

somewhat

as,
sore

; but

me

of

could

seek

to

and

enough in
they are marvellously
stern
reality. At least I

of

Nor'-west

track

nor

the surface

there

to

guidance

out

beach,
"

direction

the

touch

just daybreak

was

began my
vague

I set

as

so,

the

sleep on

the

practiseat

them

costi.

it

CON

liile these

to

was

OF

here

fragments of

and
weed,
sea-

this low bleak


shore.
I
up by the storms, on
desolation
more
perfect than this dreary spot,

fancy
sufficient to lose sight of the
slightlyundulating, but never
to be found
sea
; not a particleof shelter
; not a rock, nor
Of
stone
even
a
large enough to sit upon when
weary.
a
vegetation, no trace could be met with; even
patch of
lichen would
have
been
moss
or
a
a
blessing to see ; but
there were
neither.
At last,as I journeyed on, I wandered
cannot

the sound

beyond
and

then

the

the silence

back, and

moments

; and

ear

heart

own

could

of the

as

now,

in

became
the loud

to

stir, not

did

suspense,
a

this notion

that

So
matter

low

strand,

actuallyappalling. But
booming of the breakers

stopped

listen, I could

to

it smote

died

had

few

stunned

hear

my

ribs.

against my

then, as in a moment
away,
be motionless, not a leaf

air would

the

wing

cleave

to

take that

aloud, while, with

the

impression that such a stillness,


prevail on the day of judgment, when,
given up their millions of dead, and the

had
the graves
agonizing cry for mercy
dread

upon

the

after

of

it broke

as

full,thick beat

terrible,would

thus

as

dismiss

not

sea

Such

it.

fell upon

trembling

knees

of

me

sobbed

and

uplifted hands,

and

might be pardoned.
powerful is the influence

my

possession
I

prayed

I too

how

associated

with

of

error,

how

devotional

feeling,no
alloyedby the dross

"MEANS

of

that I, who
superstition,

wearied

drag my
worthless

thing

ready

was

renewed
At

each

dare
I

direction

to

could

"

folly;

but

my
that

from

when

the

contrary,

it ; and

with

so,

gazed eagerly about

in vain

view.

The

following out

was

which

and

that

one

sun

This

was

to

and

touched

absurd,

seem

but

nothing

I continued

along.

went

It may

occupations.

my

met

myself as I
the only

to

over

of

longer the

no

; on

preserve

log-hut,but

me,

seemed

before

ground,

easily see
gave

scarcely

despair,became

very
Life

to

could

back

forward.

the

monotony

shadow

my

set

of

the

see

Halkett

and

were

for

anything

little swell

high, and
over

instant

an

along

again

wearisome

same

but

courageous.
it did a few minutes

to

vigor

hoping

me,

limbs

141

MEDITATIONS."

trustful and

sudden

AND

now

the

repeat
ing
watch-

earth

the

change in the direction


any
of me,
where
not fall in front

did
the shadow
course
my
could
mark
it, my spiritsfell,and

heart

heavy

my

"

right
down-

to

even

the

of

grew

heavier.

When,

it did

however,

precede

me,

was

wearied

never

the little slopes, and rose


again
watching how it dived down
each
of
the
the
with
swell
on
ground.
opposite bank, bending
Even
this was
its very
motion
smacked
companionship,
"

of

life.

little pool of rain-water, and,


a
length I came
upon
although far from clear, it reflected the bright blue sky and
beside
it to
white
clouds
so
temptingly that I sat down
As
I sat thus, Hope
make
breakfast.
was
again with
my
in some
I fancied
how
and
long distant time, when
me,
favored
by fortune, and possessed of every worldly gift,
At

"

with
hour
on

rank, and

pity

should

remember

or

incredulously to the tale, and


of praise they would
follow
me

I felt I

set

"

outcast, I ate my
poor, friendless
how
friends
Anticosti.
I fancied
even,
when,

almost

own

honor

riches, and

was

courage

not

doomed

would

with
in

the

lonely
would

what

meal

listen

traits

of

story.
dreary land, that my
and, thus armed, I again
my

to die in that

sustain

me

out.

from
daybreak to late evening, it was
Although I walked
in that I saw
closed
a
only a short time before darkness
be the
must
bulky mass
straight before me, which I knew

142

CONFE8SI0N8

log-house.
a

stumble, and

eyes

but

than

farther,
All

lost in

was

uninhabited

No

"

little bench

in

upon

was

There

days

I entered

the

was

hut

of

front

of

of

hut !

desolation,
strange

lone

shelter

my
and

move

the

with

island,
and

that

my
stout

apartment, which

great roomy

my

spot
to

my
; how

pine-logs,in

round

came

unable

of

be

many

Refuge-house."

home

my

it would

matter,

refuge till better


resolve

the

as,

joy

sad-looking

stood

that

of

instant.

an

few

turned

never

little cleared

loneliness, all memory

my

that

for

word

down

of

sense

"

of which

moment

I sat

for I

fall,

one

I at last reached

"

ground, in the midst


What

legs along
my
into a run, and with

I broke

now

more

the hut,

from

CHEGAN.

BcarCety drag

could

before;

moments

CON

""K

in the

immense.
settlinggloom of night seemed
tory,
Striking a light,I proceeded to take a survey of my terristove
which I rejoicedto see contained
and
a great metal
abundant
an
supply of bed-clothing, precautions required
in these latitudes.
by the frequency of ships being ice-bound
several
casks
of biscuits, some
There
flour, a large
were
chest of maize, besides three large tanks of water, supplied
A few bags of salt and some
scattered
objects
by the rain.
if not
of clothing completed the catalogue, which,
very
of
absolute
luxurious, contained
nearly everything
necessity.
I lighteda good fire in the stove, less because
I felt cold,
still autumn,
for it was
than for the companionship of the
This done, I proceeded
brightblaze and the cracklingwood.
to make
myself a bed on one of the platforms, arranged like
"

bed-places round

the

seemed

have

ones

to

predecessors, since,

clothingwas
of,

reason

with
of
as

of

most

in

these,

found,

the

troops

in

contemptuous

them

and

of

which

the

saw

upper
of
opinion
my
of
the
bedpart

preference in the

to be

"

of

the

greater

choice
rats

I could

which

indifference
while

easilydetect

walked
to

my

and

to

presence

the

fro,

; some

I made

standing near me
my bed, and looking,
doubtless
they felt, considerablysurprised at the nature
paign
my operations. Promising myself to open a spiritedcamagainst them

large lamp, which


on

walls,

the

betook

on

from

the morrow,

I trimmed

and

lighted a

its

position had defied their attempt


oil it still contained; and
then, a biscuit in hand,

myself

to

bed, watching with

an

interest

not,

own.

144

CONFESSIONS

the

the

I had

moment

to wait

; it became

myriads

in my

hand, ready

enemies, bold

; my

forward,
fearlessly

came

CREGAN.

to

ignite

came.

long

not

CON

the fuse

extremity of

other

when

OF

and

like

scene

from

surrounded
election

an

long impunity,
the

bottle

in

to witness

row,

tumbliug and

each
other.
Nor
could
I
rollingover
till I began to entertain
bring myself to cut short the festivity,
fears for the safety of the bottle,which
already seemed
its bed of clay. Then
from
to be loosened
at last I applied
their

match

and

cord,

my

with the

head
a

to

blanket,

humanity

nor

to

with

far

were

to

could

my

crash

and

had

say,

in

away

truly

was

more

numerous

neither

sufferings, but

them

cover

battle-field

The

I, shame

finish their

exploded,

wounded

companions dragged

their

before

success.

the

and

dead,

the

than

the flask

its

me
cry that showed
terrible sight, for

almost

courage
still,while

lay

various

stages of

suffering.
I

only
of

first

at

but

succeed

the

that

supposed

and

once,

would

creatures

this

have

was

that

exploit

an

well-known

the

them

made

that

could

sagacity
so
costly
perfect

avoid

temptation. Nothing of the kind ; they were


Scythians in their love of oil; and as often as I repeated
ready to try their fortunes.
experiment, they were
my
in
of the gambler's element
Or
perhaps they had some
others
felt that he might win where
each
their nature, and
a

lost.

promise that for a couple of days, at


lest any
accident
hoist the signal-flag,
not
least, I would
Sir Dudley to suspect my
induce
should
place of refuge, so
to my
campaign against the
that I was
completely reduced
occupation

for

rats

Halkett

made

I had

and

amusement.

the little island, traverse


the

I did, it

when

or,

the
waters
To

wood

door, from
of

the

sit here
was

my

would,
with

depressing had this


that I rarely ventured

and
every side ;
to me
become

on

far

swell of surface, clad

rise and

same

it how

So

so

to

was

which

sit upon
view
sea

the

as

never

loose
mournful
of

out

little bench

extended

over

could

cover,
dis-

varied,
stone, lay
mity
uniforthe

hut,

outside
the

wide

Gulf.
and

decipher
occupation.

try

constant

to

the
What

names

cut

into

the

histories,too, did

"MEANS

in my

fix themselves

till I felt

letters

the

after

that

if I

as

embellishing and

it

had

he

whether

very

Some
see

gone
lack

on

one

of
a

was

perpetual doubt
captivity,or died ere

the

to

his

from

rescued

been

had

initials,and

me

tity,
iden-

to

easy

was

for

work

mere

they

completed.

was

spent here
my hours
with usually three or

Between

household,
rats, the

went

day

over,

signal,and

supporter through
It

I sat

at

explosions against my

rapidly,but

say

hope
for

the time

to

nearer

ay, that

"

pass
when

the

was

it
I

great

rescue.

night of my
trying to invent

fire

my

four

me

hope

"

the

being

third

the

now

was

all

of my

little duties

and

I will not

"

night brought

did ; and each


should hoist my

and

his

ornamenting

again, were
leaving
name,

half-finished

it

; and

cut, the sculptor

were

Others,

labor.

them

of weeks

did

suggesting an
intimately.

name

known

had

how

letters ; and

these

mind, each

precious work

the

seemed

carved

who

of those

weave

145

MEDITATIONS."

AND

some

the

on

for the

mode

new

island,

charge of powder had


I had
been expended.
nothing remaining, save the loading
succeeded
that
to a great
I had
in my
true
pistol. It was
last

for my

enemies,

of my

destruction

longer appeared with their former


Their
in large bodies.
was
air of assurance,
nor
army
the
field in
evidently disorganized; they no longer took
cipline
disbattalions, but in scattered
guerillaparties,without
; the

extent

than

have

the

like

and

and

more

then,

"

that the

kind,
no

which

few

of

feet

had

begun

dread

to

Often

have

it, and

wait

slighteststir,
in
they went
away
"

secret, like most

the

least

full

the bottle,
them

proach
aptill
some
patiently

spiritwould

adventurous

to

career.

seen

venture

nearer,

rustlingof
It

was

great mysteries of the

my
dent
evisame

caution

and

of

defence

of

the

was,

i.

the

to

the

parts of
vol.

they

continued

the

had

longer

system

my

consolatory,too, as I had
of continuing my
siege operations;
of
the enemy
reserve
suggested a

had

while

ammunition
my
have
tactics would

the

at

bed-clothes,

lasted, it is

had

drunkard.

within
younger

that

success

same

reformed

no

Even

courage.
doubtful

or
more

creatures

"

10

its

day.

means

place

This

was

simplest, but

certain

hut, the very

number

sight

of

most

of

which

effectual kind,

bottles at different

inspired terror;

146

CONFESSIONS

if followed

some

t inii' at

I tell the

to me?

CREGAN.

CON

by any noise, was certain


least)from all molestation.

and

Shall

OF

reader

how

this

to

secure

me,

for

stratagem first occurred

of the early but unrecorded


simply thus: In one
history,I used to act as driver to the
years of my
and Kilbeggan caravan,
Moate
not, indeed, as the recognized
of that very ricketyand
coachee
most
veyance,
precariousconkind
of "deputy
assistant"
to the paid
but as
a
official,
who, having a wife at Kilbeggan, usually found
for stopping at Clara, and
some
excuse
sending me forward
with the passengers,
bound
to own,
a
proceeding, I am
with
consistent
beast."
not
over
or
humanity to "man
of that luckless conveniency,
the misadventures
Many were
of it ; but
and
the public were
loud in their denunciations
as
nobody knew the proprietors,nor did the most searching
of
a
plaints
"way-bill," the comscrutiny detect the existence
I was
uttered
at full liberty
to the wind, and
were
half the time, as
to do my
stage" in three hours, or one
It

was

"

"

"

fancied.
The

found
the

at length learned
passengers
that greasing my
palm was

wheels.

the dumb
make

animals

I drove

trade ; the
as

the

discovered
and

half

stick, with

tail of

one
my
in fact, instead

but

curses

and

at

very

method

sure

of

instead

declinedof

pace,

At

reduced

me

to

"

my
last the

imposing whip

my

whipcord, they

brisk

popular, and

became

condition

; and

of

them

caravan

horses'

fact,and

oiling

complaints gradually subsided; in fact,


who
had any right to
the only ones
were

All

them.

this valuable

ing
thriv-

fame

rose

secret

was

of four

yards

stunted

bit of

drooping lash that would n't reach the


leader.
My receipts fell off from that hour ;

little

of

sixpences,I

praises and

hard

names;

and

at

one

now

got nothing

hill,near

"Horse-

I used
in my
leap," which
days to "go at"
prosperous
in a slashing canter, amid
shower
of encomiums, I was
a
now
obliged to stagger slowly up, with four-and-twenty
small farmers, and
maybe a priest,in full cry at my sulkiand other good gifts; and all this,
ness, laziness, incivility,
for lack of a bit of whipcord.
ay, and more,
I have been
told that very great people will stoop to low
alliances

when

hard

pressed

even

cabinet

ministers, I

AND

"MEANS

believe, have
Let

then

help of a little bare-footed


of Horse-leap, and
who,
belabored

the

Through

this

popularity,and
once

more

the

horses, dropping

into the
used

to

into

that,

boy,

of it !

enough

into

beasts

and

used

to

device

costi ; and

precedes

if any

under

the

reach

was

the

stratagem

hill,and

all my

walk,

accustomed

again, Tommy,
lad !
give
"

"

him

exclamations
the

wretched

impression

top almost

this

of

speedily

as

code.

against the

me

will say

one

public
I

slow

my
! there ! "

Ha

aided

now

in

foot of the

traces,

penal

of the

long-lost

gradually subsiding

were

that

well.

canter

canter.

and

associations, always stimulated

same

at the

heads,

the

him

welt

salutaryterror, we
in the old days
as
The

arrived

under

"

"

old

from

to

it but

for

the top of my
voice
boy. "Ah, hit him

the

to

him,

ash-tree,and

an

measles,

at

out

exhortations

nothing

their

the hill

efforts.

own

shuffling amble

scream

the

caught

the conveyance

so,

little

of

in the

approaching

faint resemblance

some

had

and

as

the

allies.

on

in part my
auxiliary I recovered
was
likely to be again reinstated

this emergency

In

beg

to

of

branch

long

used

sound

the

at

assistant
my
reduced
to my

when

favor,

into

team

who

boy

with

sallied forth

caravan,

very dubious
if he called

acknowledged

Cregan, then, be reproached

Con

not

and

now

147

MEDITATIONS."

what

to

end

of

rats

Anti-

this narrative

of

in
answer
is, that whether
insignificant,
my
in St. Stephen's, rats are
far more
midable
forthe St. Lawrence
or
their size or strength would
to imply ;
than
seem
and whether
they nibble your rags or your reputation, their
is invariablythe same.
success
that the
Four
elapsed, and I concluded
days had now
encounter

an

yacht

so

must

this

ere

been

have

miles

her

on

up the
to hoist

voyage

morning, then, I should venture


thus
the signal, and
apprise the passing ships that
and
forlorn creature, at least,still lingeredon
deserted
The

river.

than
and
was

many

sat

at

my

usual.
without

blowing
of

one

the

island.

miserable
I

next

the

fire
I had

till a
watched

outward

the

sail upon

seeing one
from

late hour.

the

Gulf

lower

was

from

would

and

in

sunrise

its surface.

northward,

vessels

on

be borne

spirits

to sunset,

lightbreeze

this I

supposed

along ;

but

not

148

CONFESSIONS

for

moment

of

but

the

leave

never

be

Gulf

the

twice

or

cowered

sittingwith

crossed

that

I could

hands

of

the

alreadyregaining courage
could no longer resist them

when

head
my
the floor

round.
I

as

immense

two

seemed

than

more

and

foot in

face

with

as

came

me.

features

as

"

those
More

of

me,

I had

on

in

an
"

No

each

to

be

thus,

idea, I turned

stir, I could
motion

see

it

was

slowly creeping

of

want

"

I noted
;

they

human

man

the

bled
resem-

creature.

impulse than with


tated
totallyincapaci-

mechanical

mere

was

I was,

by

than

the

that

as

worn

scarcely
large black

"

held

; and

up

the

at

with

time, while

same

the other

ing
rest-

long bright knife

menace.

kept

the

glare

the time

"

then

still

Were

me.

ray of lightupon
this I beheld, at a

of

fear

"

screamed

my

Black

the

over

saw,

or

I, as I fell back

him
eyes fixed upon
thus
Boatswain
; and

watching the other, while

its fitful
were

of

the

terror
my
pistolfrom my bosom, and held it
my
"
No
fire !
fire !
cried the creature,
no

him.

nearer,

stove, and
knew

of

drawn

hand, he

attitude

was

long

knees

by

low, faint voice

one

this

defence, for which

pointed towards
in

and

age and
beast rather

the force

notion

startled

With

not

by

wild

blaze, when

I could

now

hands

on

marked
of

terrible.

so

anticipationof

nodding

Overwhelmed

from

any

could

and

; and

who

negro,
towards

slow

nearer

I actually

height.

Paralyzed by terror,
breathe,

the

subsided, and
the

the midst

in

and

in

threw

might

yards off, a large black head, with


bloodshot
It
eyes glaring fixedlyat me.
of the earth, above
which
it rose
scarcely

and

flame

three

rise out

to

flame

moved,

fate

the bottles behind

The

about

of

distance

of

over

crash

rats

in, and

escape;

my

outstretched
of

tions,
decepsecond

that

close

might

make

sudden

one

mind

my

winter

the very notion


to the fire as the

my

these

to

them.

at

nearer

semblance

the

assume

disappointment when

no

to detect

island,

shuddered

fleetingcloud, resting

accustomed

grew

thought

before

frozen

CREGAN.

to time

little or

spot failed

the

glance at

CON

horizon, would

length I

at

suffered

and

Once

the

on

ship ;

time

From

appeared.

one

OF

gloom y

thought

the

whom

saw,

around
the

the
I

now

remained,

we

and

fire flickered

space
I

beside

us.

negro

threw
As

we

stealthily

"MEANS

up his
I should

drawing
believe
knife
his

dry,

cracked

149

MEDITATIONS:

legs,as if for a spring,and


have
pulled the trigger,when

from

dropped

AND

his

lips,he

and

hand,
said, "A

pointing
boire,

in

with

"

"

my

terror

suddenly the
his fingerto

water.

passionate entreaty of the


and
creature's
face, the expression of want
misery,
poor
he
with
faint
uttered
these
a
words,
struggling
hope, as
routed all fears for myself ; and
the tank
fillinga cup from
with water, I emptied the last remaining drops of my brandylook

The

flask into

He
with

it,and

held

him

it

gaunt
while

and

my

eye full upon

could

XMW

it to his mouth

greedily; and then, clasping my


fast for
bony fingers, held me

he recovered
almost

seemed

which
show

earnest, almost

swallowed
his

seconds
that

of

his breath

; at

convulsive, he said
not

understand.

last,with

some

I shook

words
my

wrist
a

few

an

effort

in

ish
Span-

head

to

then, fixing big

ignorance of the language, and


he said, "Alone,
here?
boy alone?"
me,

150

that

Understanding
at

that

once

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

referred

this

alone, and

was

CREG-AN.

had

I answered

myself,

to

been

deserted

by

my

companions.
"Bad

while

savagely ;
M

white

men,

"

Water!

till the

endeavored
more

he wished
me
by a sign
] accordinglystooped down
could

support himself

to assist him

"

Le

his

thrice, and

or

feu !

"

being

either

downwards.

then

which

on

the

tank.

help him, and now


perceived
than
his
forward
and
drag
legs

more

hips

to reach

to

the knees

on

from

paralyzed
he, twice

little

do

his

lips,and muttered,
his grasp
to free myself from
to
but he held me
firmly,and showed

that

that he

he, gnashing his teeth

again he pointed to

once

cup

cried

men!"

to the

gaze

word

fixed

was

in part

or

foco!"

"Ah,

changed

his

wholly

"

with

cried
"

Feu!

horrid

earnestness.
It

without

not

was

labor

and

exertion

much

that

ceeded
suc-

in

the embers
of the fire ; but
dragging him near
having done so, I quickly replenished the dying flame, and,
in making a cheerful
succeeded
fanning it with my hat, soon
blaze once
"Buono!
more.
goot! goot!" said he, several
times, as he held his shrivelled and wasted
fingersalmost
into

the

fire.

"Are

hungry?"

you

said

I, bending down

to

make

self
my-

heard.
He

twice.

nodded

you eat
feared
that

half
for

nothing else," said I; for I


be impracticable
hard, dry food would

toothless

almost

"

last made

be

might
I

the

I have

jaws.
said something about
Guisado,"

his

He
at

biscuit?

Can

"

placed

pot

sign

that I understood

softened
of

in water

water

the

on

once

to

fire,and

that

mean

him.

for

twice; and

or

And
soon

cuit
the bis-

with
saw

by

that
the

his meaning.
his eye that I had divined
the fire,and occasionallyexamined
I continued
to blow

expression of
As
the
eyes

water
never
me

to
once

see

boiled, I could
quitted me, but, with

wherever

if it

I went,

or

whatever

mark
a

that

restless
I did

the

negro's

followed
activity,
and
although

his age, and the dreadful


under, I
infirmityhe labored
his equal in any
that
1
felt I should
struggle,1 own
prove
towards
take
cast
him, lest he should
a sidelong look
many
from

152
He

eying

sat

fill it with

attempt

"

that do?

"

Smoke,"

said

said

the little paper

look

and

by

one,

tube.

for

me

several

and

that

minutes

then

he

nized
scruti-

though it demanded
At length he did
prevent stratagem.

all his

keenly

as

did

even

as

anything

effect

to

seem

last

fell forward

head

the

him,
slipped softlyfrom beneath
sunk in the deepest sleep.
back,

arm

cheek,

and

at

rest,

features

one

his chest, his

on

and

more

His

privation and passion,lay flaccid


stole over
all the
of lethargicease

till at

begin ;

erful
powrestless
fiery,
eyes
nostrils ceased

The

influence.

immediate

more

with

not

him.

heavy and dull; the wide-distended


grew
motion.
convulsive
their former
to dilate with
seamed

did

to

he

certainlynever
and

him

proceeded

that

see

deceive

himself;

venture

to

to

acuteness

to

over

I, showing

when

he, gravely.

tobacco

the

; and

to

only after watching

was

courage

and

hand

sleight of

any

Will

took

leaned

he

tobacco,

"

It

all the while

me

CRECAN.

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

he rolled

heavily

"

abandoned

soon

begun

produce

to

unfavorable
not

to

subside

gazing

my

most

absurd

The

terrible

determination,

cool

had

tales I

once

themselves

with

the

listened

to about

very
did

which

sensations

"

already

confusion

feeling of giddiness and

associated

"

which

now,

readily as I could have wished ;


swarthy companion, fancies the

so

on

tobacco

my

for

I sat

as

wildest

and

strange reality.

the

"

Black

swain
Boat-

mingle with the present. The only remnant


left prompted me
of rightreason
fire ; a certo keep up my
tain
and
of being alone
in the dark
with the negro
terror
predominating over every other thought.
mark
I could now
arose,
By the bright blaze, which soon
of heavy
the enormous
figure,which, in all the abandonment
dent
evibefore
me.
slumber, lay outstretched
Although it was
showed
what
he was
old, the gigantic limbs
very
have
immense
strength he must
possessed ; while in the
several

came

to

white

cicatrices

of wounds,
great number
The
only covering he wore
round

hole

his

body

in which

leaving

his

; over

his

sinewy

limbs

was

this he

head

of

some

had

flesh, I could

his

that marked

piece
a

issued, like

of

them
of

fearful

sailcloth

blanket, through
as

in

perfectlynaked.

Mexican
A

reckon

bit of

extent.

wrapped
a

round

poncho,

ragged,

"MEANS

bunting

worn

the

enhance

to

As

he

of

beard

its

showy colors, served

the

all the

narratives

that

he

living,so effectuallydid
manage
thought, I hit upon what
last,and by dint of much
which
of the difficulty,
to be the real solution

At

he

that

accustomed

was

was
signal-flag

he

under

was

the

hoisted

not

; and

that

belief

the

hither

venture

to

he

it

was

his concealment.

he

still

"

imagine how

to

existed

doubt

greatest

union-jack

features.

hut, since in

the

to

came

him,

an

clearer, I began

became

that

happened

old

of

his harsh

of

expression

stern

senses

my

I had

his head, and, in

round

bound

was

it seemed,

part, as

"

153

MEDITATIONS."

AND

I had

as

the

was

pected
sus-

was,

whenever
done

not

the
that

so,

only living man

on

island.

success

him

were

sailors

on

the

to

read

the

all

the

dragons, on
treachery to one

had

who

end

what

to

led

other, I felt

the

fierce

of

me

striplingsthat

It

and

was

in my

now

vass
began to canagainst it. If,

and
old

the

legends I used
captive huge giants or
be a species of
it would
bread

eaten

supposing

even

"

"

for

reasons

hand, it reminded
about

Quebec.

off to

this service;

state

myself

one

Besides,

him

carried

do

"to

with

have

must

have

power

his

contrived

hiding-placewith great
the allegations
clear enough ; for whether
was
against
believed
true
or
so
false, they were
universally
by
that
if he had
been
discovered
they would
tionably
unqueshe

That

from
him

hands.

my

guilty to

any
few

to justice,when
a
bring him now
close a life whose
suffering
days, or hours, perhaps, would
I so
certain
manifest
of
And,
was
enough?
lastly,was
oner
myself that I already plotted carrying away a prisescape
extent

with

me?

thinking

much

the
of

The

long

utterance

efforts
was

could

Spanish, I
see

mind, by
of

that
the

his

my

to

others

to

dream,

vehemence
he

had

could
some

working
face.

the

me

; and

I fell

so

indulge in
and

very

favored
catch

fearful
of

saved

trouble

of

ing
ponder-

destitution.

permitted

began
and

reflection

the

on

and
I

was

now

negro

last

more

myself

over

Not

end

to what

"

his

me

such

talk aloud
different

of

reminiscence

fingers and

with
from

with.

nothing

reveries

As
his

; for

rapidity

the

syllabic
mono-

the

language
meaning ; but I

was

agitating his

the violent

tions
contor-

154

OF

CONFESSIONS

In-

tore

the

open

CREGAN.

paroxysm
coarse

for

"

of

rag

perceivesomething

I could

and

his

Btruggleof

tlic

In

CON

it

he

that

canvas

fastened

reallylittle

was

neck

his

round

wore,

by

first 1

of those
thought it one
fond of carrying about
that seamen
are
so
them,
charms
knows
what
kind of dangers : but,
amulets
against Heaven
on
stooping down, I perceived it was an old leather pockethad
been
which
book
red, but by time and dirt was
once

piece of

At

spun-yarn.

"

black.

almost

than

More

if it

as

energy,

drops of

would

sweat

the

and

movement,
made
his

that

His
his

fixed

were

were

fingers would
he

would
down

earth

the

its contents.

in the

seeming
that

he

on

awake

was

vacancy.
and

more

now

turn

he

earth,

the papers
with his hand
his

palm,

would

discovery; and at these


him
gold, would
escape
"
word
Guajaqualla" were

as

conceal

his

gles
strug-

opening it,seemed
The
rapidityof
of

; but

hurried

every
I

soon

turned

; at one

ture,
gessaw

to

the

time

in the

pocket-book, at
along the ground, and
if, having buried something
of it from
every trace
the
Spanish word
oro,

moments

in

wild

the great

these

of

not

more

over

grope
with

one

collectedness

staring eyeballswere

and

great

motions

another

pat

believe

me

spot, but

the

In

the cord, and,

something among

for

then

his forehead, and

upon

quiver with agony.


from

hand, with

; and

treasure

out

start

the book

he tore

this in his

his heart's

was

parted lipswould
to seek

clutched

he

once

half-sigh; and this and the


the only ones
I could catch; but
mind
retained both for many
a day after.
my
last he crushed
the papers
At
hurriedly together and
closed
the pocket-book ; but in doing so, a single slip of
fell to the
paper
by the light of
were

in

newspaper

ground.
the

print, and
:

fire I

I leaned

read

apparently

the
cut

caught it; and


following lines, which

over,

and

from

the

column

of

"

ONE

THOUSAND

DOLLARS

REWARD.

detect
who
Any one will be entitled to the above reward
may
lead to the detection
of Menelaus
as
or
give such information
may
he
stands
six
feet
two
high :
Crick, a negro slave, aged forty-eight
;
than
the
the
and
broad chest
shoulders,
left; has
right higher

"MEANS

of the lash

marks

back,

on

left foot

of the

toe

great

AND

from
difficulty,

with

he

As

is

and

is

cutlass

two

of resolute

scars

and

wanting,
wound

gunshot

fellow

155

MEDITATIONS."

walks

occasionally
spine.

the

in

character

the face ; the

on

he

and

great strength, all


in sufficient
not to attempt his capture,save
are
hereby warned
persons
He was
numbers.
San
is
last seen
at
Luis, and
supposed to
the
it
have
in
direction
of
where
is said he
Guajaqualla,
gone
worked
once
as
a
gold-washer.
Address
B

New

"

There

were

who

be made

few

is the

"

figure;

Office of

the

Picayune

"

"

Letter

"

in

words
!

man

"

of him?"

Spanish scrawled
I, looking down on

said

have

would

thought

that

and

time,

intense

which

from

speculated

how

it

afraid

admonished

afraid

from

hoist

new

the

signal;

folds

The

to

Scarcely,indeed,
of

moment

favorable

sheeted

had

to
over

sharp; but
sky and
ship.

the
the

over

sea,

next

water

air.

it

as

throb

was

it could

the

fast

moment

the

what
of

that

vision ; and
the

dark

the

as

the

even

but

planned
the

long

air,I watched
hope that gave

of

lofty,and

flag itself
not

than

seemed

to be

is

sunset,
the

pink

stood

large,I

was

notice.

escape

halyard

object stood

together, and

nothing but

nigh, and as I
stepped noiselessly
My first occupation

very

think

like

eke

into the

rose

as

I made

to

drew

me,

open

pocket-

abstained.

; and

sunrise,

distinct

ago

strap of his blanket

dawn

of the horizon

verge

very

and

that

the

standard

earth

reason

every
the

the

as

unfurling, with

courage.
mound
of

upon

fainter

of

its massive
me

prudence, and

sleep coming
hut, and gained the

the
to

was

to

me

fire waxed

My
was

glistened in

years

materials

stealingit.
awaking him

which

sympathies

of the

contents

abundant

fancy

without

might be done
knife

bright

The

could

the

see

negro's history. I am
of discoveryprevented my

terror

on

to

such

on

forty-eight
nigh eighty. My

be

might

age

the

out

had

his

back.

dollars could

the

now

curiositybecame
book,

"

sleeping

the

very offer enlisted my


of the poor
in favor
wretch ; besides, how
many
that advertisement
must
have appeared ? He was
at

the

on

thousand

that

Not, indeed,

unholy gain. No,

an

T.

"

Orleans.

Here

"

The

I beheld
a

vessel.

peculiarly

line of dawn

out

clear

glare of brighter day


I could
no
longer see

and
ered
cov-

the

156

CONFESSIONS

In

anxiety to try

my

hastened

spot,

spread

was

catch

and

cKKtiAN.

sight of it from
but

the shore;

to

sea, and

the wide

heaving

the

except

down

over

CON

OK

and

waves

alreadya

nothing

the

another

rosy tint
discernible

was

streaked

above

sky

them.
I sat
and

at

cold

the

this, indeed, I would

air

raw

had

that

remembered

straining my

rock

upon
last

have

to

no

pierced through

left my

not

but

eyes,

jacket

in the hut.

returned

it,

to

fear of the negro, his repulsive features


far
his companionship
from
look
made

suspicion of

violence; and
would
It

not
was

back
time

some

back

again ;

this

to

led him
if I

I determined,
at the

Refuge-house

go

have

too, might

therefore

in the

shelter

me,

and

for

ing
scowl-

pleasurable.

to

were

of the

of

act

some

seek

to

even

end

island, I

one.

before

and

other

But

for, without

"

absolute

His

purpose
and
me,

I could
I

when

even

summon

courage
reached
the

had

to

ture
ven-

door, it

strugglewith myself that I dared to enter.


the long and
The
now
streaming in, across
daylight was
dreary chamber, and, encouraged by this, I stepped across
the stove, where
towards
the threshold.
My first glance was
I had left him
out, and
lying asleep. The fire had burned
without

was

not

the

negro

was

gone

had

not

not

"

fear

cannot

caused

such

trace

of him

terror

"

; but

fancies

Twice
over,

was

to

assure

of

of

steps, and

forward,

explain,

my
his

since

nowhere

remained.

of printed paper, which


scrap
have
believed
the whole
should
mere

cautious

I ventured

prying glance around,


with

With

I had

heart

ing
thump-

very

presence
he to be found,

was

Indeed,

many

it not

were

for

the

carefullypreserved, I
of the night to be the

events

dream.

obliged to take it
myself that I was

sleep ; and

from

pocket and
pursuing some
my

not

if I felt convinced

that

the

read

it

nation
halluci-

events

were

that the
actuallyhappened, I will frankly own
of
of fear which
no
realityinspiredme with a sense
memory
vision could have
a
mere
inspired.
Daylight is a bold companion, however, and where night

real, and

would

make

had

the heart

beat

fast

and

the

cheek

give a strong pulse and a ruddy face.


help feeling,as I acknowledged to myself
will

pale, the

This

I could

that

had

attn
not

it been

"MEANS

perished with

have

rather

I had

yet dark,

157

MEDITATIONS."

AND

the hut.
my jacket within
At last, grown
bolder, I had

cold

than

sought

for

I examined

side.

negro on every
I searched
the

planks and turned


difficultywith which
could

be

not

be

might

he

instant

off,

dread
This
me.
upon
pounce
fruitless ; so that
continued
to be

pursuit,assured
assure

in

interest

My

to

nearer

done

had

that

the

subject
for

heart;

my

as

was

off,

left the

and

back

handkerchief
describe

the

flag was

hoisted

ecstasy, I
for

boat

Never
her

to

cried aloud

even

spars

set off
to

did

increased
I

as

abandoned
could
was

be

to

free,

above

ascended

might, waving
my

head.

my

I cannot

of

I
me.
signal which floated above
of my
with joy ; and then, in the eagerness
along the shore, seeking out the best place

the

in.

run
a

able
favor-

delight I felt,at perceivingthat a


the main
after lowered,
peak, and soon

transport

recognition of

forward

and

bearing up the
Forgetting the distance,
all my

with

shouted

moment

vessel

little eminence,

"

concealment

enough.
superseded by one
hut
I beheld, about

soon

large three-masted
spread.
Gulf, with all her canvas
and
longing
everything save
my
miles

four

doubly

everything that
or
humanity ; nor

either of my courage
myself that I had done

asked

to

of

to

the

I sorry

place

The

seem

nay,

"

search

been

his

that

me

walls

success.

this

made

moved

he

the

; I removed

possibly,at that very


actuallywatching me, and waiting for
far

my

have

without

sails ; but

over

satisfied

and

strange,

the biscuit-casks

for

the

along

the berths

beside

recesses

to seek

courage

even

ship appear

seemed

so

sails

her

taper,

more

object

gloriousan

more

vessel

than

to my

eyes ;
her
snowy,
before ; and

owned
a
ever
bearing prouder,
at length I could
in the
when
distinguishthe figuresof men
with
delight.
rigging,my heart actuallyleaped to my mouth
At
I
last she backed
her topsail,and
now
saw
shooting
out

from

the water

beneath
like

her

tall sides

sea-bird.

exactly towards where I


bay just at my feet. A
now
jumped ashore, and
"Are

there

many

of

As
stood,
crew

if

they

and
of

advanced

you?"

lightpinnace,
ran

four

saw

skimmed

they

the craft into


sailors

towards
said

me,

that

the

and

headed
a

little

coxswain

me.

coxswain,

gruffly,

158

OF

CONFESSIONS

and

though nothingwere

as

than

to

habited
"1

rescue

from

fellow-creature

I, almost

alone, sir," said

unin

an

the

at

ship did

What

of

want

sympathy

was,

appointed
it,dis-

own

lone condition.
my
asked
he, as shortly

for

"

belong to, boy?

you

into tears, for

bursting

disappointment; for

mingled joy and

before.

as

what

that's
of

comes

No, sir ;

"

Firefly.'
it; so they shoved you
sailingwith gentlemen,
"

Ah,

"

landed

we

Ay, ay," he

"

"

'

the

yacht, sir,

"

broke

in,

"

of

few

"

us

as

fired
no

to

gun

with

gammon

that

was

ashore

here

up
for the

floated hither

and

eh, is n't

"

're

You

me.
'

had

'

off

come

they calls 'em."


during a calm
"

on

the

alacrity,and

yacht
lad,

my

young

scamp

either

put you

yourself,
mind,

never

"

found

soon

transport, which
to

; the

overboard

But
hencoop.
Quebec ; jump in."

the

th

"

they

spare

"Hampden"
Regiment of Foot

board

story ;
got separated

Come,

infernal

punishment,
rats, or you jumped

to
'11 give you a run
the order with
I followed

on

it!

and

for

"

the old

that,

that

some

's

That

here.

"

"

all

I know

ashore

to shoot rabbits, and somehow


you
you landed
meantime
wind
the
the others ;
from
sprung
up

we

in life

occurrence

commoner

rock.

am

"k

forlorn

poor

CKEGAN.

CON

myself
conveying

was

Canada.

boy, sir," said the coxswain;


the skipper,who, amidst
him
towards
a
before
shoving me
crowd
of officers in undress, sat smoking on the after-deck.
to imply that the vessel's
A very significant
grunt seemed
lost for very slightcause.
was
way
He
he belonged to a yacht, sir," resumed
says as how
"No

one

but

this

here

"

the

coxswain.
"

of the officers.
asked
one
yacht, boy?
Sir Dudley Broughton's, sir; the ' Firefly,' said I.
"
old, shrewd-looking
Broughton ! Broughton ! said an
him?
all about
know
in a foraging-cap; "don't
man,
you
and
before your day ;
then, changing
But, to be sure, he was
"

Whose

"

"

"

"

his discourse
to

my

kind
to

Dudley

was

old

to

French,

friend

"

Father

understand

what

in

Guards

the

Life

with

Rush,

said,

was
once

language, thanks

which

quainted
acsufficiently

was
"

he

; his wife

added,

"Sir

eloped

with

GLIMPSE

"A

OF

OPENING

IN

LTHOUGH
miles
still continued

several

for

transport-ships,was
those

To
no

voyage

"

far better

not
pressed
myself, were
on
pleasing vista opening to them
very
far from
was
disagreeable. As the channel

tall mountains

the

villages on

clusters, in

the

the

Here
in the

of

Vermont

shore

midst

and

shape

of

there
of

into

came

could

be

what

appeared

less

voyage
"

calm," and

retard

to

hundred

Hampden

like

who,

the

forests.

the

great in

being powerful enough

stream

had

"

only

LIFE."

only a few
Quebec, our

from

days;

ANOTHER

"

the

all

Gulf-

sailers.
for

time,

or

shore, the
narrowed,

view, and

detected,

like

gradually

small, dark

interminable

pine

selves,
pleasant sightspresented themdismasted
of
hulks, being the remains

"A

had

vessels which
and

deserted

were

On

the

charm

to

the

OPENING

ANOTHER

got fastened
the

by

whole, it was

IN

in the ice of the

early " fall,"

novelty,and
the shores

novelty alone, lent


of

object ; and

any

Gulf, until you

the

clays'journey of Quebec, are


dreary. The Log-house is itself

sadly

two

and

161

LITE."

crews.

picture; for

within

come

OF

GLIMPSE

couraging
dis-

mournful

small clearing,
standing alone in some
with blackened
stumps studding the space, through which
is inexpressiblysadtwo or three figures are
to move,
seen
looking and solitary.
when

and

Now

then

imitation

humble

midst

in the

Government

seen

we

of

would

pass

harbor

for

standard,

with

official resided

little town,

some

shipping,and

bold

the

"

some

with

Lords,"

First

"

were

fain to

reward, doubtless,

achievement

gallant deed, some


that they were
heard
chieflylieutenants
having more
intimacy with French grape
of

quay ; and
denote that some

flag,would

there,

with

afloat ; for I

in the
and

spend the

navy,
canister

who,
than

of their

remnant

in these

gloomiest of exiles.
of all signs of life and
The
absence
in the
movement
fail to depress the spectator.
No
team
of
picture cannot
the loaded
draws
oxen
along ; not a plough is seen.
wagon
There
no
are
gatherings of people in the open places of the
days

towns

; no

cattle

can

be

descried

on

the hills.

of
like the chance
resting-places
appear
through the dark forests, and not their homes

The

ments
settle-

travelling

men

for

life.

At

singlefigurewould be seen on some


high cliff above
the sea, standing motionless, and, to all seeming, watching
I cannot
the ship.
deeply such a sight always
say how
I could
affected me
not
lone
help fancying him some
; and
emigrant, following with beating heart the track he was
never
again to travel.
Apparently, these things made a deeper impression on me
than
As for the soldiers,they
others on board.
most
upon
and
were
occupied with getting their arms
equipments in
a respectable appearance
on
order, to make
landing. It was
of soap
eternal scene
and
one
pipeclay all day long ; and
creatures
barely able to crawl, from sea-sickness and debility,
and
if the glory of
as
were
polish away
obliged to scour
the gallant
th would
England depended upon the show
times

"

VOL.

I."

162

OF

CONFESSIONS

the

make,
too,

day
beut

was

landsmen

should

we

bi8 weather

placewore

their

in accordance

white paint

and
saw

half-dozen

some

either

scraping or

dangled from
received

the

in great

were

of

the

fresh

show

and

suspended

the

very
than

more

and

taper spars,

requisitiontoo;

one

not

in
actly
ex-

Pitch

everyday
the side,

over

life.

the

to

away,
beneath.

crew

and

boom,

skipper,

lubberlyhull

painting for

the

The

stowed

were

light and

some

with

shore.

on

equally imposing

an

topmasts

hoisted

CKEGAN.

foot

set

making

on

CON

shirt

low-crowned

hat

Many

of

intent
glisteningvarnish ; all were
the
to the group
on
of lounging
approaching landing, even
the poop,
who
officers on
had
begun to reduce their beards
and
whiskers
to a more
"regulation" standard, and who
usually passed the morning inspecting epaulettes and swordknots, shakos, gorgets, and such like, with the importance
of men
who felt what
havoc
the fair Canadians
they
among
were

about

soon

services

My

coat

to

inflict.
in

were

this section
of the
request among
become
an
expert hand at cleaning

since I had

passengers,
and
arms

equipments with Sir Dudley; besides that, not


at libertyto
wearing his Majesty's cloth, the officers were
talk to me
with a freedom
they could not have used with their
all more
less curious to hear about
men.
Sir
or
They were
Dudley, of whom, without transgressing Halkett's caution,
I was
able
to relate
some
amusing particulars. As
my
hearers invariablymade
then" comments
narratives
in
on
my
French, I
of

often

was

amused

myself, expressed
The

presence.

senior

He

parchment.
far

so

as

knew,

with

officer

keen-eyed, pock-marked
of

to hear

man,

seemed
his

them

record

their

perfect candor

was

to read

my

Captain Pike,

with

in

me

nose

thin

as

like

book

own

old,

an

as

; at

opinions perfectlydivined

ions
opin-

my

sheet

least,
true

character.

"Our
shrewd
he
'

Con,"

varlet,but

sees

Lafitte
"

friend

that
'

Now,

another.

so

he

he

would

say,

"is

an

uncommonly

is

of the truth ;
only tellingus some
he is entertainingenough, and
won't
produce
his
Ordinaire.'
long as we enjoy

what

"

'

will become

"Heaven

scoundrels, or

knows!
rise to

of

such
such

fellow

rascals

positionsof

as

turn

eminence.

that?
out

"

asked

mate
consum-

Never

was

there

the life of

complete lotterythan

more

IN

OPENING

ANOTHER

OF

GLIMPSE

"A

LIFE."

163

young

rogue

that."

like

subaltern, "how
out
a
fancy," drawled
young
and
education, manners,
means,
ignorant cur, without
rise to anything."
ever
can't

"I
an

can
'

j Who

has

he

whether

say

can

"

all these ?

not

said

the

much
Trust
me, Carrington, you 'd cut a
captain,quietly.
he in yours
would
than
poorer figurein his place
the
captain
The
a
haughty laugh, and
ensign gave
not
"I
said it were
resumed:
impossible that he had each
of the three requisitesyou
spoke of, and I repeat it. He
without
possessing learning,have picked up that kind
may,
and
zeal improve
of rudimentary knowledge that keenness
on
day; and as for tact and address, such fellows
every
a
both as a birthright. I have
plan in my head for
possess
all pledge yourselves to
but
must
the youngster;
you
"

"

broke

I'll not

or

secrecy,
Here

after

time

from

as

divine

question

time

to

in

two

or

of

some

able

was

follow

to

the

meaning, particularly
listeners would
propound

the

English, by

the

aid

riably
I inva-

which

of

the

"argument."
"You
our
know,
captain, "that
Mrs.
friend
Davis, who
keeps the boarding-house in
Upper Town, has been always worrying us to bring her
what

she

which

she

calls
means

rations, and

'

among
fry of
who

"

look

far

The

wages.

knows, will
Canadian

officials who
will dare

London

from

"

home

very
be a

at

in

Who

that
for

'

he

the

; and

London
"

the
out

by

quarter

'

ment
Establish-

as

and

fellow

the

fications
quali-

to

footman
that

out

came

Parliament

house

the

Carrington ;

'

"

don't

footman."
"

retorted
says he does?
said brass buttons
and
blue beads
"

puff

old

restive,must

turn

fact

of

question the

broke

subsistingon
to

Members
dine

England

from

"capableof

creature
too

the

pooh !

Pooh,
like

any
well

special,she
small

first-rate man-servant

who,

with

put up

to

far

its

keep up with
lads," said the

contrived

"

honors

on

although being

; and

' '

which, Captain Pike

of

in French

his discourse, and

of

and

promises

proficient in that tongue,

tenor

of

subsidence

the

continued, still,however,
from

it."

upon

general chorus

very

forth

venture

the
were

ever
captain. " Who
gold and turquoise?

lt!4

CONFESSIONS

But

they

where
thf

not

the

brade

timber

Davis

Mother

be

to

was

fiftymiles from
wife
of a skipper

harbor-master

died

who

likelyperson

very

CKKGAN.

in villagesnot

same

sailing.

are

we

in

for

pass

OON

""F

critical about

here; she is
butler

man's
foot-

or

accomplishments."
is all right! Go
on
Jove," cried another, "Pike
with your
plan."
"My
plan is this: we'll dress up our friend Con, here,
give him a few lessons about waiting at table,deliveringa

"By

and

message,

and

characters,

him

forth, furnish

so

him

start

on

the

with
of

road

jolly set

life with

of

Mother

Davis."
A

this brief

at

party

indeed

and

it

joining in
"He

of

roar

merry

it.

looks

can't

so

"Possibly
his head

not

and

and

up ;

said

young!"

devilish

Carrington;

"he

fifteen."

be

'

was

approving laughterbroke forth from the


of Captain Pike's intentions ;
summary
without
I avoided
not
great difficulty

fourteen," said

give

him

I have

as

had

we'll

"but

I '11 answer

wig.

Pike;

for

shave

the

'

make

cals,
experienceof privatetheatri-

some

't he'll pass muster."


will you dress him, Pike?

relyon
"

How

"

livery, a full suit of snuff-brown, lined


I '11devote a large cloak I have to the purpose,
the tailor at work
to-day."
"

In

"

"Is
"

to have

he

Of

course

him, for

shorts?

shall have

we

and

yellow;
we

'11 set

"

of you

; some

with

must

to turn

him

'

stand
with

out

'

stockingsfor
good kit."

silk
a

promises here broke in, about


shirts,vests, cravats, gloves, and other wearables, which, I
own
it,gave the whole contrivance a far brightercoloringin
A

my

very

generous

burst

of

lark.
it offered to be a mere
eyes than when
Will the rogue
Carrington.
consent, think you?" asked
eat
to nothing to
"Will
he prefer a bed and a dinner

"

and

asked

planks on the
Pike, contemptuously. "Look

his keen
to you,

it?

siesta

the

mouth
eyes and his humorous
and say if he would n't do the
a

right clover

joke

in the whole

but

Not

besides

under

chap

like

quays
at the
when

thing

him

contrivance."

will

of

Quebec?"

fellow!
he's
for
see

watch

speaking
the

fun

of

something

"A

OPENING

ANOTHER

he '11 break

I foresee

"

OF

GLIMPSE

down

at the

LN

165

LIFE."

off," said Car-

first go

impressed
through all the controversy seemed
with the very humblest
opinion of my merits.
"
I foresee
exactly the reverse," said Pike. " I've seldom

rington,who

met

acute

more

youngster,

readier

one

nor

to take

up

your

meaning ; and if the varlet does n't get spoiltby education,


gence,
intellishrewd
but simply follows out the bent of his own
he'll do well yet."
him
You
rate
more
highly than I do," said Carrington,
again.
'
Not
impossible either ; we take our soundings with very
dissimilar
lead-lines," said Pike, scoffingly. "My
opinion
observations
about
is formed
by hearing the boy's own
he was
and
life when
character
speaking of Broughton ; but
if you
ten times
as
were
right about him, and I twice as
"

'

of

view

the

both

being my

And

and
the
"

for

now

natural

my

me

Carrington

acuteness

scheme

that

me

won

downright
the

was

to

over

liked

neither

heart,

at

bonds,
vagaass,

to the letter.

It

captain'spanegyric

the

"

"

for,

avowal

honest

an

captain's

of all young

private sentiments

own

smartness

in the

phoenix

their brother-officer

and
"

voted

matter,

him."

I intend

he '11 do for what


times in the wrong,
many
The others expressed their full concurrence

flatteryof
on

tude
apti-

my

in

concurrence

notion

the

of

livinghe had
prospect of the abstemious
pression
imStill,to justifythe favorable
pointedly alluded to.
the

service," nor

so

had

he

mind

"

so

wait

should

that

hope

under

soon

as

of

conceived

new

me,

"life"

see

lad," said

my

belt there ;

made

be

to

to
me

of my

accept the proposition


had

; nor

come

aft

captain, "you may


I want
to speak to

the

here,

"

reach
plans when
you
your
look after your old master, Sir

Quebec ?

are

No, sir ; I have


feet on
I '11 keep my
"

But

what

for the

I mean,"

resumed

enough

dry

land

long

to

of

salt water

leave

that
What

you.

to

mean

you
"

for

time,

"

now."
to follow?
propose
and
silent.
was

"

you

answer,

he,

Do

Dudley, again ?

had

line of life do

I hesitated
"

ruling passion

aspect, I resolved

it should

half

some

that moment.

"Con,

"

the

"

also with

and

"is

it your

intention

to

become

166

CONFESSIONS

farm

-servant

seek

for

of the

some

in the

employment

"

Or

"

No, thank

and
1

with

would

I 've

CREGAN.

"

town?

"

lad?

notion

ought

one

to

'

move

in another.

broke

sir; promotion is slow

you,

will yon

emigrant families, or

like to enlist, my

you

CON

OF

from

up,' as

the

ranks,

they

move

on,' in life."
Listen

"

fellow 's
uo

to the

varlet

cool with

as

us

I '11tell you

more.

now," said

Pike, in French; " the


if we
were
as
exactlyhis equals, and
it is,lads," added
what
he, seriously,

raise

journey the road of life


rogues
eminence
themselves
and
to station
; but

herd

together in

masses,

and

effect

"when

singly,they
when
they
who
fellows
pull

such

others

down,
So

"

the

the

be

you'll not

vernacular;

these

the

are

soldier,Con?"

"well,

social

disastrous

most

what

are

added

your

tions.
revolu-

he,

ideas

ing
resum-

to

as

the

civil service?"

Anything to begin with, sir."


"
well said ; a fair start is all you ask ?
Quite right,lad,
Why, sir,I carry no weight, either in the shape of goods
if a light equipment gives speed, I 've a
character ; and
or
chance
to be placed well."
The captain gave a side-glance at the others as though to
in my
I correct
opinion of this fellow? "and
say, "Was
"

"

"

"

then
Con

went
:

on

there

is

"I

have

lady

of

for you,
thought in my head
acquaintance at Quebec wants

my
if
could
notion
of the
pick up some
; now,
you
duties, I 've no doubt you 'd learn the remainder
rapidly."
a

servant

"I

used

to

wait

on

entirelyignorant."
Very true; and as
you into trainingwhile
"

Sir

Dudley, sir,and

these

am

and

gentlemen

therefore

will put

myself

lasts,I hope you

the voyage

not

'11do

us

credit in the end."


mining
depend on my mistress, sir," said I, deterI had
to profit by what
overheard, but yet not use
Should
the knowledge rashly or unadvisedly.
she not be
but have
little patience
a
very exacting and very particular,
with me,
accepting zeal for skill, I 've no doubt, sir,I '11 not
"

Much

will

"

discredit
"That's

captain,

your
the

recommendation."

point I'm
very
lowering his voice to

coming to, Con,"


a

most

said

confidential

the

tone.

168

CGNFE8SION8

they call in
country a 'Tay-boy,'" said Carrington, "one
bits of tarnished
gold-laceand gaitersseen about

Gad

"

CREGAN.

COfl

OF

own

him

make

! I 'd rather

start

what

as

his
of

"

those

Dublin."

of

outskirts

the

is

right,sir," said I, glad to show myself


above
of my
vanity on the score
early beginning;
any absurd
"a
road, able to drive
'Tay-boy' on the Rathmines
wait at table."
a jaunting-carand
"That's
the mark,
I believe," said Pike.
"Suppose,
Con Cregan has served me
twelve
months,
then, we say :
honor

"Your

'

waited

sir !

"Ah,
'

taken

table, and

at

"

said I,

"

of

care

Irish

an

sure

"

car.'

and

horse

gentleman with

'

Tay-

It would
be :
tify
cerspoken than that.
in my
establishment
served
that Cornelius Cregan, who
as
under-butler,and occasionallyassisting the coachman, is
and
most
a
respectful,
respectableservant, well-mannered
with
and
the most
having always lived in high situations,
distinguishedindividuals.'
in Carrington; "'understands
that's it," broke
"Ah,
jellies,
soups,
lamps, and is perfectlycompetent to make
and
preserves.'
Confound
it, man!
you're making him a cook."
"
the
what
By Jove, so I was ! It's so hard to remember

boy

would

be finer

'

"

"

"

fellow

is."
think

"I

leave

may

we

"he

himself," said Pike;

it to

of what
is necessary.
So,
very good notion
Master
Con, write your own
biography, my lad, and we'll
give it all the needful currency of handwriting and seal."
to have

seems

"It's
could

have

pity you're
such

of in

I know
"

recommendation

out

come
'

you

family

serious

'

"

one

signed "
better

even

P. O.

in the

strong

'

as

I used

about

to

once,

mass

serve

early training

my

with

can
'

his

!"

"Very
table."

"or

Surrey."

"Exactly, sir; and,

measure

'

Province."

Lower

Grace

from

mind," rejoinedthe captain;


Bishop of Toronia,' will do

Never

Dowdlum,

'

Papist," said another,

well," said
for
With

fictitious and

the

"tell

Pike;

livery,and

this order

speculate on

was

my

you

the

tailor to

'11 wait

on

dismissed, to
true

us
con

"character."

take

your
to-day at
over

my

QUEBEC.

viewed

Diamond

from

striking city than


The
with
the

ship

realization

that

decks

were

high

myself,
need

on

the

water

with

blue

his

short

path

the

upon

such
carry

wall

of

defenders
any

other

the
as

these, that

banner.

to

below,

sentry,

fortress

more

and

to

my

eyes

from

the

and

whose

the

lander
Highhundred

some

seen.

crowned

looked

jackets,
as

and

seemed
I

is seldom

town,

impregnability.

thronged
paced

with

never

of

lay tranquilly

who
feet

Quebec

the lower
great rock rising above
its batteries, all bristling with guns,
very

Harbor,

thought

standard

to

yonder

170

CONFESSIONS

shuts

the channel

out

giving the

which

by

semblance

of

you

lake,

lie at anchor,

every nation

CON

panoramic.

is

view

whole

The

OF

CKEGAN.

The

bending of

have

made

with

some

the

sails

river

approach,

your
surface

whose

on

the

vessels

hung

of

out

to

the taper spars;


others
ting
refitdry, gracefullydrooping
again for sea, and loading the huge pine-trunks,moored
from

rafts

vast

as

all

the

to

There

stern.

people everywhere;

were

life, and

motion,

activity. Jolly-boatswith twenty


man-of-war
with
gigs bounding rapidly past them
oars,
skimming by without a ripple,and seemingly
eight; canoes
without
impulse, tillyou caught sight of the lounging figure
who
red features
lay at full length in the stern, and whose
the copper-colored bark
were
scarce
distinguishablefrom
of his boat.
Some
moved
the rafts,and even
on
single
upon
trunks
the mass,
of trees, as, separated from
they floated
was

down

the swift

on

current, boat-hook

first

object chance
might
down
streets
to
leading

it

the

was

there

Now,

and

was

particularlywhen
a
long voyage.
challenge of the
stood

and
I

scene.

the

own

no

nothing more."

human
these
"

did

music

ocean
were

Hampden

much

of

sides;

men

on

what
"

over

half-dressed

to

higher interest
;

had

"

thronged

there

such

the

and

above

the

human

was

which

charmed

for

as

tall

tide !

to gaze

have
at

the

picture,for

Montcalm

of

but

me

Nor

I could

the

heard

longed myself

all the

hours

invested

the life and

me.

and

ear;

never

to

were

It

inactive

my
packing, rolls

I behold

my
the bulwark

ignorant of Wolfe
plainsof " Abra'm

was

"

leaned

and

quays,

in all this,
something amazingly inspiriting
coming from the solitude and monotony of
voices that ye-hoed, the hoarse
The
very
sentinels on
the rock, the busy hum
of the

delicious

made

town,

and

at the

winding flightof stairs that lead to


dark with the moving tide of men.
On
gallery,on every terrace and platform,

Never

same.

all

catch

to

the

alike

the upper
town,
every embrasure

The

were

here

upwards,

cast
your
eye
you
roofs might be seen

hand,

them.

offer

them

in

was

slopes,and
grassy
stir; the tide of that
to be

swimmer,

the deck

of

"

the old

while, although seldom

attracting
Soldiers
notice.
were
mustering, knapsacks
calling,belts bulling,and coats brushing on all

grumbling; sergeants cursing ;


invalids

popping

up

officers

their heads

out

swearing
of

hatch-

QUEBEC.

answering
again with

ways,
down

and
At

cursing his

last

wanted

the

into

"

the

for

it

whose
what

garrison

of

quiet in

Europe

"Has

Davern
as

Then

spicy rumors

disappeared
the late

grog
to welcome

home
with

"

their

board

on

gales.
friends,

of

in Canada

ment
regi-

; and

then
the

?
a

"

Where

"

of

mass

in

war

's Forbes
such

small

"

terests
in-

live in coteries.
for

found

not

harbor-masters

and

had

confusion

our

were

emissaries

were

if

as

pilot, and

years

come

who

men

engage

place,

"How's
exchanged.
"No
England?"
signs of

out?"

sold

there

for

the 8th

Are

"

of
way
that interfered

in the wrong

one

Red-faced

we

some

inquiries

"All
"

been

in the

something

us,

out

came

ordering them

stupidity.

discuss

battalion

first had

at

skipper and
to

second

rush

Duke?"

of

the

the

was

the

round-house"

Officers from

it.

doctors
; soldiers

boarded

increase

to

with

hands

for

neighbor

shore-boats

anything

shook

anathema

hauling
: every
inspection-drill

the

each

and

names,

an
many
sailors always

sailors,and
with

to wrong

171

ing
eagerly huntnewspapers,
in the last journals ; waiters

hotels, porters, boatmen, guides, Indians with moccasins


other functionaries
sell,and a hundred
bespeaking custom

to

and

patronage

although

and,

often

certain

ignominiously at one moment,


at the opposite gangway.

most
next

How

could

order

I knew

not

First

; and

be established

ever

yet

driven

at

the

side

reappear

the

over

to

in this

floatingBabel,

last all got into train somehow.

with men,
who
sat
large boat crammed
even
on
the gunwales, moved
then
another
and
another
slowly away ;
half
followed
lighter,half jolly-boat,was
; a lubberly thing,
loaded

soon

and

vast

one

with

baggage, amid

which

scattering population of babies


the deck was
cleared, and none
multitude,

save

the

"mate"

soldiers'

some
were

seen

; till

remained

and

the

of

wives

by

all that

"watch,"

proceeded to get things " ship-shape," pretty much


accustomed
are
same
good-tempered spiritservants
entertainment
to rights, after an
the drawing-rooms
"

grees
de-

who
in the
to

put

which

kept them up till daylight, and allows of no time for


sleep. Till then I had net the slightestconception of what

has

voyage

from

ended

the bow,

meant,
a

scene

of

and

that when

bustle

ensued,

the

anchor

to which

dropped
nothing at

172

CONFESSIONS

OF

CREGAN.

bore

1 bad
do
friends; no one
any proportion. Now,
otlito welcome
The
asked for my Dame.
none
we,
the captain, in the excitement
of arriving,bad
even

Ma

came

"

cers,

all

forgotten
to

nothing
how

to

do

"

eye.
I am

the

me

the

by

purpose,

we

kit

on

to

actor

I did

the wardrobe
the

solemn

think

not

of my

captain might
treated

was

feel

claim

part,

as

resent
"

other

no

that

know

you

suppose

had

said

not."

starve,
to

of

"

mess

that 's

comfort

here, you 'd

you

to go ashore."
prepare
the chest of clothes given to

bestowed

for

particular

seemingly abandoned
scruples as to my having
now

whose

warranted

besides,

conduct

such

I, Con

be

in
who

been

or

any
for

carrying away
should

tell how

side?
I might
my
who
had registereda

on

Cregan,

heart

had

engagement

myself

character

thief,

I do

mean

object

an

an

one,

"

sir,that

deck, and

to

Like

"

t' other, my
lad ?
glance out of the corner

captain,which, being
with

I had

or

way

don't

forgotten, I began
one

honest

there."

one

kit alluded

and

to.

the

put the question

mate

ashore?"

see'd Picaroons
as

the

"

to say,

never

you have ; but


better get your

Now,

than
I got

ashamed

when

go

disparaging

very

Well, I

"

didn't

livin'

that

; so

when

gain

to

me

to

he, with
his

about

I
"why
give him

me,

answer

be

COS

"

! Such
gentleman
not be entertained,even
an
m
thought. Yet
it very hard for one
in possession of such an
admirable
was
dinner ; for one
wardrobe
to want
a
so
luxuriously apparelled
the outside, to be so lamentably unprovided within.
on
nately
fortuFrom
the solution of this knotty question I was
most
th,
preserved by the arrival of a corporal of the
that
with
order
from
I should
who
came
an
Captain Pike
at once
repair to his quarters in the Upper Town.
Not
being perhaps in his captain'sconfidence, nor having
of my
precisestation in life, for I
any very clear notion
in an
dressed
old cloak and a foraging-cap,
the corporal
was
with a militarysalute,and
delivered
his message
to me
air of deference
a certain
feelings.
very gratefulto my
boat
"Have
a
alongside, Corporal?" said I, as I
you
the binnacle.
on
lounged listlessly
"
will that do?
Yes, sir ; a pah- of oars,
in my
vow
should
indignity

own

to

"

"

"

"

"

"

173

QUEBEC.

safe

traps

will

that

"Yes,

and

board,

on

corporal

The

do," replied I, negligently. "See

saluted

tell
once

with

rightopposite me,

hesitation.

and

doubt

and

more,

the

just

was

that

at

had

been

and

over

the

give the

to

who

came

scene,

my

ready."

went

mate,

expression of

an

It

when

me

directions ; meanwhile
necessary
amazed
most
spectator of the

all 's

stood

ludicrous

most

that, in

moment

in a pocket of it
drawing the cloak round me, I discovered
it out with
the most
old cigar-case. I took
chalance,
an
easy nonstrikinga light,began smoking away,
and, leisurely
a
and not bestowing even
glance at my neighbor.
had
Astonishment
so
completely gotten the better of the
word ; and I perceived that
not
utter
that he could
a
man
the side, where
the boat lay, to assure
he had to look over
himself
that the whole
was
reality.
"
to
All right,sir,"said the corporal,carrying his hand
his cap.
I

languidly from

arose

the

soldier

the

to

around, I surveyed the


but

of mild

contemptuous
the

good

since

you

may

rarelybe

wish

to

observe

that

what

considerable

they

delivered
so

and
When

should

"

as

will

to

save

contempt

half -theatrical

hide

reached

tone

imperfection of my
majesticallyinto the boat.
any

the

the

dined, very

debris"

of

the

free

barrack, which

to

mess,

and, under

my

in

own

I should

have

the

my
what

"

Van

the

left orders

my
tume,
cos-

Upper
that

his quarters, in my

satisfaction,on

much

to

than

interior

in

was

had
at

draped

evening.

confess, presented
flashybit of color ; being far
Vernet

I would

admonition,

this grave
of voice, I

but
at mess,
captain was
have my dinner, and be ready

livery,in

it ; but

tion
humiliayourself much
by not taking people for

With

servant, arrayed myself


am

to exercise

on

externals."

descended
we

called

you

lowed
position,and folthen, turning slowly
to foot, with a glance

tion,
pity,while I said, " In your stalesson
is perhaps not called for,

the

Town,

by

seem

in

"toga"

full

man,

recumbent

gangway;
from
head

mate

my

and

my

more

some

of

the

auspices of the captain's


new
finery,which, I
artists would

call "a

style of Horace
been
given me,

in the

Had
the choice
Dyke.
preferredwooing Fortune

in

more

sombre

174

this

habiliments; but
I felt as

BO

OF

CONFESSIONS

CREGAN.

minor

mere

consideration, and

myself standing alone

found

was

CON

sitting-room,and endeavoring to accustom


showy identity,as reflected in a
very
which

exhibited

I will

affirm it

not

discussed

to the very

dinner, aided

at

of

mere

in

buckles

and

appearance,

own

glass,

of

shoes.
my
throw
it out
as

of

sherry, which I
the paltry consideration

above

liftingme

to my

large cheval

decanter

captain's

myself

positively,but only

major part of

the

hint, that

down

me

in the

made

feel what

me

nate
ragged vagabonds in the streets denomi"
the dignity of a man."
By degrees, too, I not only
reconciled
but began
to the gaudy costume,
strange
grew
of feeling
accommodation
actuallyto enjoy its distinctive
have

heard

often

"

"

character.
"There
are

many
dressed

gentlemen, Con,"

young
there who

are

"

would

in this fashion.

look

There

absurd

if

merry-andrews

fellows

are

I, in soliloquy,

said

to whom

this kind

bright tints would


not
to mention
devil with their complexion,
one's legs could n't afford such
that every
publicity! But
Con, my friend, you have a natural aptitude for every shade
of color, and for every station and condition.
Courage, my
thing would
play the very

be

of

boy
the

Cregan
hands

"

said

myself

as

their fate in

over

vegetate

to the

fellow

of

shirks

out

with

gracious

in

it,without
a

bit

more

slip out

shebeen-house

of

when

at

in your
influence

Poldoody oyster ; they

existence, and
of

who, born

fellows

are

this life than

end

in

glass, stealingsidelong glances

died

have

present, you '11march

Mr.
you,
with the subject, while, with my
backward
coat-pockets,I walked

"there

passed;

station, would

as

I, warming

at

been

has

in my
the
before

forward

rank

rear

down

deep

and

in the
Nature

yet.
!

These

test!

sore

"

although

van

'd

the

world

he

has n't

'
for another
tu' pence
dandy of punch. Not so with you,
the
have
You
have hydrogen in you,
Con
you
Cregan!
Those
the vulgar herd.
above
element
that soars
'

"

buoyant
are
are

the
was

of a
partialsentiments
the current
opinions of the world
Captain saw what stuff you were
not

the

'

'

Pike

old
"

intellect?

"What

shout

about

friend, Con,

you.
of !
made

How
How

they
soon

long

of
your
powers
!
these words
of laughter followed

detecting

in

dear

the

latent

176

OF

CONFESSIONS

however,

window,

there
denied

was

barred,

was

and, with

Immediately adopted
deferential

cried

Cregan,"
handkerchief, "modesty
which

with
I

"

it may

sincerelytrust
said

"

favored

much

owe

be

life,

wall,

be

to

should

his

eyes with his


invaluable
gifts

"

bar

no

iu

Assuming
the

those

you ?

was

sible,
unfea-

saw

company

drying
of

tactic.

honorable

one

escape

which

towards

one,

is

has

nature

back

as

so,

opposite

an

Mr.

"So,

which

to

able,
unapproach-

was

and

plan

position,I drew
the
as
long as

laughed at
fancy it.

door

grate;

quickness

CREGAN.

the

abandoned

I at once

me,

in tlio

Ore

OON

to

ment,"
advance-

your

another.

Rather

cruel," added

be

third, "to

balked

for

such

trifle."

mere

Pike," added

"I

say,
insinuated
you
"What

How

can

half

relish.

with

sore

"

Yes, sir."

"

Very
I

"

much

smooth
"

like

hard-

the others.
"

There

's

Scotland, M'Aldine,"

it in

the last

speaker did

very

not

boyish-looking

fancy," said he, laughing


countrymen

your

to

as

though

he

had

wings;

what

has

look

have, sir; but the English plucked

of

is all that

"isn't

there

some

stone

they

kiss

assumed
about

simplicity.
the Blarney stone?"

story
iu my

or

other

about

said

it?"

country, sir, to give

us

that," rejoinedhe, with

tongue."

I don't

stupid

said

said another.

grin which

used

we

what

It's

so,

us," said I, with

"

once."

eyes.

heard

I believe

another;

seem

them?"

of

"And

the

droll.

very

always

become

"

Hirish, ain't you?" said

"You're

"

envy
you
It would

plant."

very

captain, with

the

been

weed

said

had

that

rears

"There's

ensign,

ask, Chudleigh?

you

land

one

laughed less than

had

old officer who

featured

only

rather

flatteryof your discrimination.


detected
here at
the precious metal
from, boy?"
country do you come

that

"

another, "I

look.

see

the

great

use

of

177

QUEBEC.
"It's

towards

glance

You're

"

useful

mighty

Come,
poor Irish lad.
him
in the world, with

the room,
to be far
"

more

Davis's.

Mrs.

be

expected
"

As

confess, showed

they

he

as

nothing like a bold push


know
it,sir ; my father used
who

election

his

won

"

Your

father

"

And

is, sir, still,with

n't

the company

poured the

contents

pay your footing


the old country, you '11
to

do

hall,

"

to

made

first go

say

it

gentleman

the

that

liberally
;

off."

drunk

freeholders

most

poll."

the

day of

was

of

witty.

were

the servants'

first

has

suggestion,he chucked
commenced
a
begging tour

at the

always
the

of

is wherewithal

entertain

to

starting

devil

the

keep

to

traveller from

of

out

to

than

here

"

think

rather

us

Con," said he,

hands,

two

at

there's

then

generous

forget

for my poor
that he 's only a

this kind

ready

am

Master

Here,

into my

which,

much

too

you

something

and

into his cap,

"

let

now,

with

pocket." And,

dollar

far

much, gentlemen,

too

half

Pike.

Captain

Con," said the captain;

friend

his

times, sir," said I, with

at

observation, Con."

of keen

man

leave, if kangaroo meat


your
him, and left me to sustain the honors

disagreed with

of the house."
"

Oh, that's

it,Con,

is it?"

said

Captain Pike,

with

sly

glance.
sir, that's

"Yes,
"Here's

letter

the

be

early to-morrow;
I 've

doubt

no

"I'd
a

be
false

Mrs.

Davis:

you'll present

it

counsel, and

own

well."

honor
ungrateful vagabond if I made
your
to the
prophet," said I ; and, bowing respectfully
an

"

latter is

of

and

i.

out

upon
"

12

felt the

never

myself

part of

easilyhit

exists

"

former

so

lightas

as

tween
be-

I went
that

now

heavy."

I wandered

dispose

principleof equilibrium
one's pocket !
thought I

wonderful

downstairs.

VOL.

for

discreet, keep your

'11 do

you

one's heart

the

his look

to

I withdrew.

company,
"What

the

I, replying more

his words.

than

out

it," said

"

into

the

for the

town,

somewhat

evening.

walking gentleman,"
some

appropriateand

Had

puzzled
I been

I fancied

how

to

performing
I could

have

becoming pastime.

178

CONFESSIONS

tin 'atre,

tavern

there

was

one

afterwards,

would

"

time

was

of

some,

that

beams

of

CREGAN.

filled the

before

it

"

has

sun

falters

interval

strange
go to bed !
conventionalities.
For

one

the

and

"

"

to

and

intellect

tired

when

Town,"

"Lower

labor of
rosy light reminds
when
wearied
it is the hour

some,

more,

the

Time

when

comes

CON

have
"

thousand

time

iu

bed.

to

to go

phrase, born

To

OF

"

by

with

set, and
the

coming

faculties
the

its last
morrow.

do

can

and

way,"

no
not
can-

To
with
others, it comes
keep the "line of march."
and
roses
dawning light,and when
rouge look ghastly ; and
deeds
are
to others, again, whose
evil," it is the glare of
"

noonday.
I

neither

wearied

by toil nor pleasure


of past fatigue, no
sense
anticipationof coming
; no
I
was
slumber,
exertion, invited
actually more
nay,
I had
been
wakeful
than
during the entire evening, and I
felt a most
impulsive desire for a little social enjoyment,
with
of
intercourse
I always
that kind
strangers which
conversational
had
the effect of eliciting
remarked
own
my
myself.
qualitiesto a degree that astonished even
Now,

for me,

as

was

"

"

purpose.
of
sound

assembled

was

joyous

mingle

in

travel,

laughter,or
bespeak some

scenes
"

circles, what
much

how

entertainment,

then,

and

now

or

of

roar

would

song,

of

house

some

public

some

paced all the streets of the Upper Town, but ;to no


Occasionally,lights in a drawing-room, and the
tell where
small evening party
some
a piano, would

resort, I

to

of

search

In

the merry
after-dinner

from

chorus

yet

what

deference,

and

drinking-

; but

long

in the very humblest


learn ! How
much

ay, to pass muster


I to
deal had
a
;

of

story,

convivialities

like these, I felt that I had

confidence

lower

what

to

road

of those

humility,
liance
self-re-

mingled gravity and levity; what shades and


and
proportioned,
gradations of color, so nicely balanced
show
unresolved
the
no
by
prism, they
too, that,
ponderatin
pre; what

tint,
call

"tact!"

"tact"

kindred,

and

and
even

participatesin

friends."

that

up

"

only acquire that,


and

make

pellucid property men


Ay, Con, that is your rarest gift of all,
"

you

may

wealth

all these

dispense
itself;

with

since

he

"

ancestry,
who

advantages, "among

has

his

179

QUEBEC.

As

mused

myself

fouud
brilliant

and

voice

even

there

time

my
over

Home."

to

entered

'

'

Dang

sergeants

boldly,
myself

to

than

dier,"
Grena-

with

favor

threshold

heard
if

me

myself,

go

way

which,

the
to

towards
on

admissible;

bed

When

"

is

hour
'

"

;
a

landing,

"tact"

My

more.

not

was

to

and

for

wait

not

muttering

'

British

The

"

high

half-whisper,

of

and

which

over

generously

behaving

Town,"

tavern,

garrison.

the

Lower

"

but

sharp

he

and

an't

in

"

did

supper,

sign
in

the

passed

in

utter

livery
I

had

scarcely

of

canteen

of

the

door
the

of

intention

the

the

of

quartermasters

with

reached

illuminated

species

had

opposite

lamp
"

thus,

past

and

with

humble
I

so

strolled

has

man

midnight,
this

assured

the

sage

read

the

words,

friend

chances

reflection,

lodging-house

on

"The

again,

out

neither

that

me

are

the

nor

it

wended

quay,

Emigrant's

is

HOW

"FELL

AND

IN"
WIDOW

the

For

sake

prefer making

the

this

in

acquainted

reader

individuals,

not

of

acquired by myself, but

them

was

acquaintance

intimate
not

of

mayhap

her
never

Dudley

permission,

Mrs.
so

Sir

relict of

Davis,

with

associated
would

mean

be

alluding

like
to

Broughton

that

writing

an

article

to

knowledge

the

"cod-fish."

of

rative
nar-

patience,

plea,

I have

reader

and

already

and

now,

Davis.

Davis,

speak

account

day-by-day

some

the

Mrs.

John

Thomas

Quebec
the

to

present

and

facts

plenitude which
although this may

and

this

Under

all the

in

of time,

world

history,

with

once

bit-by-bit and

too.

to

veracious

in which

process

the

saves

skipping

some

introduced
with

life, it

at

supplies ;

now

with

accord

to

seem

slow

the

by

"THE

DAVIS."

conciseness

of

WITH

"OUT"

of

was

that

character

city without

Newfoundland
For

great

and
num-

FELL

IN

of years

her

HOW

"

ber

"

"

AND

of

land

unknown

an

newly

traveller

commercial

flash

agent

the

pretentious enough

rank

establishment

free-and-easy air
It

was

with

fabricated
Here

speed
newly

the

gossip,

at

"

invest

To

subaltern

arrived

life, had

the

been

labor

monarch

his

round

hedge

strive for the


of his
she

she

as

beheld
be
The

proud." The
skippers
"

manifest
a

fearful

No

kind

of

men

make

to

fashionable
Never

did

the
of

and

minister

continuance
life ; in it

her

mind

barbarism

T.

when

John

Thomas
"

there
for

the

use

see

and

body;

which

from

her

she

"
"

familiar

and
I

indeed

believe
at

mode

myself
low

first

I may

ebb.

had
a
strangers
fork at dinner, and performed

other

of the

sword-exercise

her

"

it now,

were

few

were

J."

while

"

eating,of

the

most

the preNapkins were


always misconstrued,
vailing
pocket-handkerchiefs.
impression being that they were

kind.

had

man

thirstysouls
from

the

and

never

insure

hundreds,

and
say,
social habits

of

in

might fence

that

purpose
of
both
activity,

Quebec
she

contempt

afterwards

might well be
lighted up her face.
self-glorification

of

and

; here

existence.

moving
the

clay
pipethe

here

high

D.'s

should

to

defunct

it," would

of

Mrs.

rescued

had

the

alluding to

the

were

here

character,"

zealously;

that

back

of

mirror

more

all her

ray

I think

When

of

this

safeguard

looked

if

pardoned

The

they ferventlybelieved
"
English aristocracy."

for

was

devotion

generous

"

It

invested

kept up

Province

orders

and

of

dynasty

all the

called

he
"

passion
the

heard

took

the

with

the

as

guarantees

system.

had

and

world

the

to

of

manners

could

have

the

of

garrison,but

establishment

the

forth

it go
did

and

the habits

of

commercial,

and

compositor"

and
made
contracts
bagman
"French
Deputy" picked up what
the Chamber
"l'opinion publique ;
what
pine-logsand white deal imbibed
be

the

skipper"

"

"

the

to

from

boarding-house.

to

"

no

the

of

not

the

to

naval, social, scandalous,

and

with.

"

an

States

the

from

all the
combined
style it
of soof domesticity with
the enjoyment
ciety.
itary
acted newspaper," where
paragraphs, milloved

she

as

"

come

dine

thing
everyofficer to

"married"

company

to

of

rendezvous

the

181

DAVIS."

WIDOW

"

WITH

been

had

house

houseless, from
the

"

OUT

the

"

any
even

bottle

vested

interest in his

dispensed
itself.

with

own

such

wine-glass;
luxuries, and

while
drank

182

Then
The

the vessels

watching

tide, and

the

of

state

muttering

the

over

"northing-by-west,"
smacked

seaweed

and

would

looked

for

look

to

places

that

the

All

change.
allusion

; every

the

on

with

wind

the

had

of

out

their

and

life.

was

tion
conversa-

odor

an

of

it.

! How

listen to the

not

ebb,"

she to civilize these

was

their lives with

invest

how

shore

passed, remarking

"half

about

Davis

Mrs.

Poor

that

then, resuming

salt-water

of

into

themselves

continuallygetting up

were

company

CREGAN.

CON

carried

had

sea-usages

windows,

tar

OF

CONFESSIONS

interest above

any

polite

news

of

savages

timber

Government

"

They
"

House

the least attention


ing
to the interestnot vouchsafe
they would
paragraphs she recited as table-talk, how the Prince
of Hohenhumbughousen
had arrived at Windsor
on
a visit to
in " The
Slopes," or sat
Majesty, nor how Royalty walked
for its picture.
Of
the
Duke
of Northumberland,"
a
they only knew
been
and
that had
logged!
watereven
troopship of the name,
The
"Wellington" traded to Mirimachi, and the
"
Peel"
Robert
was
a
barque belonging to Newfoundland,
and
employed in general traffic,and not believed very
seaworthy.
Some
that she might
make
the ungracious remark
may
have spared herself this task of humanizing ; that she could
of tar
have left these "ligneous Christians," these creatures
tion
observaand
The same
turpentine,where she found them.
of
will apply equally to Cooke, to Franklin, to Brooke
"

"

Borneo, and
and

hundred

labored

she

so

civilizers

other

to make

D.

Mrs.

so

n't.

would

he

T. J. feel it ; but

felt it,

any
the

ner
ordinary grow daily thinmight have seated himself at
; he perceived that Banquo
part of the table,and he actuallyupbraided his wife with
from
defection
fact.
some
new
Every day he announced

the

list of

The

bear

ungrateful old

seley, of
ordered

their old
the

to

napkin

"

the

saw

supporters.

"Lively Biddy,"

shake

when

he

Galket

out

his

was

taking

canvas

in

it

Now

that

"

store

indignant at not being


grew
"
with his knuckles
at every
quarters
Some

were

put

out

old

is,

to

; then

permitted

by being obliged

Ben

stand

wouldn't

that

sea

was

Cros-

being

spread
it
to

was

beat

his

Tom
"to

in the dinner.
pause
their legs
\o sit with

184

CONFESSIONS

bachelois
formed

arts

Does

admitted

being
the

would

into

CREGAN.

inform
take

that

us

charge

of

with

There

us.

is not

"

of the

On

bit of it !
has

ancestors

our

wish

and

household,

Not

of

Ages?

attractive

and

widower's

the

and

Middle

the

"young

superintend the care of his family


this point, at
least, the wisdom
chance

music

families,where

evening's recreation, in

Herodotus

ladies

CON

OF

no

heart, there

is

three-and-sixpenny
for.
advertisement
in the "Times"
will not evoke
a remedy
You
make
can
love, or a book, or a speech, by deputy ; for
creatures
every relative you lose, there are fiftykind-hearted
half
not
to supply the place ; and
only may you travel over
the globe without
more
personal exertion than it costs you
not

to go

to

The

"

Hotel

in the most
one

affections,that

without

ever

Davis,"

so

either for

lady

the

seeing

newspaper,
localityof the

bell of the

hall-door

"

Town."

the first of
truth

to which

"

situated

Upper

the

acknowledge
May, but would
first epithet.
The society,for admission
particularreferences are required,embraces

or

tailor.

was

from

to

wife

the

or

said the

healthful

the

rung

be measured

can

airy and

ever

October

the

bed, but you

suit of clothes

No

of

yearning

of

the

the most

lectual,
all that is intel-

presidethe
the elegance
feast of reason
and the flow of soul,'combines
and delicacyof the French, with the less sophisticatedsucculence
of
the
English cookery. Intellectual resources,
the varied pleahumanizing influences of song and poetry,
sures
high-bred, and

refined.

The

table,where

'

"

"

of cultivated
this

establishment

continue

with

kindred

the

epithet of

it the

make

to

and

chosen

spirits,which

have

Davisian

the

of

retreat

civil and

Acropolis,
nected
gentlemen conare
lodged and

militarypursuits,who
boarded
for one
guinea weekly.
"Receptions every Thursday.
Balls, during
the first Monday
month."
of each
on
Such

was

one

among
of this

announcements

about

Mrs.

little woman,
looked

like

passion was
adventitious

jagged

"

She

of

was

; and

poor,

as

the
now,

the

saw.

Next

false

to
"

winter,

shortest

thin, shrivelled-up

profile

elegance of manner,
by which she meant

hair, rouge,

"

words

two

rugged, broken-up face, whose

personal appearance,
aid

I select it

cheap Elysium

herself.
with

many

for

won

and

cosmetics

her
the
;

and

HOW

"

"

IN

FELL

"

AND

"

OUT

"

WITH

185

DAVIS."

WIDOW

employed with such ever-varying ingenuity that


classic pallorto Spanish
her complexion changed daily from
richness, while the angle of incidence of her eyebrows took
Her
in everything,from
degrees to the horizontal.
forty-five
"
stylewas
sylph,"and so she was gauzy and floatingin all
her drapery. A. black veil to the back of her head, a filmy,
she

these

of

kind

gossamer

scarf

deception, and when


of

clothes'-line in

Black

she crossed

imitation

rings,and a
some
containing the hair
T. J., completed a costume

said

"

Parisian, but

to which

could

She
the

"

borrowed
Grande

the air

her

gave

fingers glowing in all the splendor of


locket,about the size of a cheese-plate,

mittens, over

reduce

the room,

this

wind.

high

shoulders, assisted

her

across

which

the
Mrs.

"

D.

herself

revolution, democratic

no

the

of

scalp

late

believed

social,

or

Frenchwoman.

from
language as well as her costume
reflection,
Nation," and with this comfortable
her

Her
likelyto be asked to restore the loan.
French
about
was
as
incongruous as her dress ; but Quebec,
her coach-and-six
not Paris, and she drove
was
fortunately,
that outstripped,if it
through " Adelow," with a hardihood
did not defy, criticism.
the best
By the militaryand naval people she was deemed
"fun"
ness,
going; her pretension, her affectation, her shrewdand
her simplicity,
her religioushomage to fashion,
her unmerciful
tyranny towards what she thought vulgarity,
made
her the subjectof many
much
amusement.
a joke and
The other classes,the more
house,"
regularhabitues of the
her
a
princess in disguise; they revered
thought she was
how
the court-end
opinions as oracles, and only wondered
could
the glass of
to be
one
so
evidently formed
spare

that she

was

not

"

fashion.
If I have

been

it to the
are

too

true

good enough

Mrs.

D.

o'clock

each

day

is crowded

world

; and

blank

cause,
to

to

my anxiety to serve
themselves
under
my

establishment

are,

city,that

the

fare

bute
reader, attri-

sketch, kind

my

if you

you
of Madam

those

no

of

who

guidance.

still survives

ay, this very day, I have


by " the rank and fashion"

the chances

visit that

days

"

"

place

still lives ; the

table

should

prolixin

; at

doubt
the

"

five

her

Quebec

yourself,worthy reader,
be glad to give your
may
Davis.

186

CONFESSIONS

11
and

1). in what

Mrs.

den

in the forenoon

in Captain Pike's

sent

found

o'clock

ten

was

of

eleven

about

showing
Islands

called

feet

her

own

arrival.

room,

all

shelved

square,

door,

who

Madeira,

and

would

round, and

black-mail

of

given

liver

complaints

to

most

India
in preserved

pepper-pots, chili,and

yams,

have

kind

paid a

little

"

jars and preserve-pots that was


the West
the offerings of skippers from

"

that

at her

letter,announcing my

she

ginger, guavas,
crabs

I arrived

as

array of

an

imposing,

CREGAN.

CON

OF

potted

half

the

Province.
Mrs.

D.

by

treasures

old,

the

aid

I entered

as

step-ladder,arranging her
boy of about twelve years
negro
feelingthat I was of consequence

standing

was

of

; and

on

not

formal
audience, she took a
require a more
her
of me, and then resumed
steady and patient observation
the ground,
six feet from
labors.
The little window, about
sufficient

to

I stood
in my
me
as
light upon
showy habiliments, endeavoring,by an imposing attitude,to
exhibit myself to the best advantage.
is fortywhere
jelly,Sambo!
"Forty-seven; Guava

threw

fine

Rembrandt

"

seven

"

"Me

see

no

him," said

Sambo;

"missus

eat

him

up,

perhaps."
filthycreature; look for it, sirrah!"
Davis
So saying, Mrs.
applied her double eye-glass to her
seconds.
for some
eyes, and again surveyed me
"Monsonze!

"

You

friend

you

the

are

Pike

"Yes,

"
"

she hesitated

brought out,

"the

"

person

young

my

I believe?"

lady,"said I, bowing profoundly.

my

"What's

your

name?

captain has

The

not

written

it

clearly."
"

"

Con
"

Con

"

thrice ;

"

what

does

for Cornelius, my lady."


And
for Cornelius!
abbreviation

It's the short


the

where

have

lived, Cornelius?"

My
Roaring
"

"

"

my

mean?"

"Ah,
you

lady, Con Cregan."


Con," repeated she twice or

Cregan,

What
out

last

place, my

lady,

was

Sir Miles

O'Ryan's, of

Water."
gers
finTake
your filthy
you doing, you wretch?
screamed
she, suddenly.
of that pot this instant !
are

"

HOW

"

FELL

"Me

"

IN

"

OUT

"

AND

him, an' he be

taste

"

WITH

dam

WIDOW

hot!

"

187

DAVIS."

cried

the

from

foot to the other, as his mouth


one
dancing
from
tasting capsicum pods.

nigger,

was

on

fire

mustard
ing
thought of my own
experience,and then, turnineffable contempt
black
a glance of
friend,
upon
my
so
creatures, my
said, "Those
lady, are
ignorant, they
condiments."
reallydo not know the nature of the commonest
I would
wish, however, to observe
Very true, Cornelius.
that
of rank, I
to you
although my family are all persons
that is to say," added
title myself,
have
no
she, with a
it here; therefore,until
pleasing smile, "I do not assume
address
return
to England, you needn't
me
as
we
ladyship."
"
I beg your ladyship'spardon for forgetNo, my lady,
ting
I have
always lived in high families,I 've got
; but as
the habit, my lady, of saying, ' my lady.'
"
Davis.
I am
Madam,
There, I knew
plain Madam
I

"

"

"

"

ture
nasty little beast, your odious black crea!
This
sudden
evoked
apostrophe was
by the nigger
endeavoring to balance a jam-pot on his thumb, while he
with the other hand,
an
exploitthat ended
spun it round

'd do

you

it,you

"

"

in

silk

the

of

smash

jar, and

squash of the jam all

over

my

change

them

stockings.

"It's

of

lady; I shall
consequence,
my
for dinner," said I, with consummate

no

I dress

when

The

"

jam

I seized
black
my
between

with

head

the

about

lost, however.

is

the

implement,
not

was

that

be

to

Will

candlestick

kindly beat
you
beside
you ?

if in most

as

caught

so

ease.

choleric

easily;

mood.
with

and

But
a

legs he bolted for the door, whilst I


my
pitched forward against the step-ladder,head foremost.
terror, I threw

my

not

"

the

hands
to save
my
Madam
Davis's

out

ladder, but

together,with a small
preserve-pots clatteringover

avalanche

went

I had

As
and

as

Mrs.

swoon

gathering
picture of

dive
was

In

myself, and caught


legs; and down
we
of

brown

jars and

us.

headforemost, my head through the ladder,


gone
Davis
had fallen on the top of me,
her head
"

being reversed,
her

him

"

had

there

"

we

passed

herself
bruises

up,

away.

sat

and

lay, like herrings in


At

against

last she
the

disorder, while

did

wall,

barrel, till

rally; and,
most

I, emerging

rueful
from

188

CONFESSIONS

between
it

were

the

steps

marmalade

of
or

OF

the
my

CON

CREGAN.

ladder,began

to

examine

brains that 1 felt coming

whethci

clown

my

cheek.

*S~

-mT"^

"You'll
said she,

never

mention

this

trying to adjust her

shocking event, Cornelius,"


faced over
the
wig, which now

left shoulder.
"

Never, my

lady.

Am

I to consider

myself engaged?"
ten pounds
note,

Captain
;
wine nor tea-money, no passage-fareout, no livery,
no
no
I was
afraid she was
going to add, "No
prog;" but she
faint,and merely said, "Bring me a glass of water."
grew
"I'll
in charge of the lamps and
morrow,"
plate toput you
said she, recovering.
"
said I, aloud ; while to myself I
Very well, madam,"
muttered, " They might easilybe in better hands."
"

Yes,

on

the terms

of

Pike's

"

"

"

HOW

"

"

AND

"

OUT

WIDOW

"

WITH

189

DAVIS."

to-day."

at table

'11wait

You
*.'

"

IN

FELL

I mean."
madam,
lady
black velvet,
Soup always goes first to Mrs. Trussford,
and very fat ; then to the lady in blue spectacles
; afterwards
for giving directions ;
Miss
Moriarty. Ah, I 'm too weak
and with these
I 'm in what
they call un etat de fuillete ;
Davis
to the contemplation
words
Mrs.
retired,leaving me
"

Yes, my

"

"

"

'

'

of

battle-field and

the

stairs
present myself below
smile at the avowal, I had
far

My next care was


although some
may
about
how
misgivings
with

than
that

aware

it

to

I should
of

head

the

bruises.

own

my

"

the

more

lings
under-

the

Is the reader
department.
farrier of the Emperor
Alexander's

was

with

muster

pass

; and

guard who first predicted the destruction of the "grand


A
shown
French
horseshoe
to him,
was
army" in Russia?
he immediately exclaimed, " What!
not
as
a curiosity;and
the climate ; the
? These
fellows don't know
yet frost-roughed
So is it : ignorance and
!
snows
begin to-morrow
sion
pretendiscovered
are
people; they
infallibly
by "routine"
look to details,and they at once
detect him who
mistakes
or
"

overlooks

them.
all events, to make

Resolving,at
stand

my

think

part in every
did

descended

not

and
difficulty,
I

understand,

to the lower

Old

"

my

to

put

sneer

on

"

World
down

bold

habits
every-

face, and

regions.
"

Secretaries
and
for
the
people,
"
and
Home
Foreign," little know how great their privilege
is that in taking office they are
spared all unpleasant
meetings with their predecessors. At least,I conclude such
Lord
and
that my
to be the case,
Palmerston, "stepping
in," does not come
abruptly upon Lord Aberdeen
"going
Great

' '

"

out,"
off.

and

"

altercation arise between


him
who
angry
and he who is packing his portmanteau
to be

does

nor

arrives

to

an

stay

and

I say that I opine as much,


conducted
the departure are

propriety;in fact,
slipped away
the "spoons,"
into

entrance

No

Ministers

such

domestic

before
"

the

not

that

Lord
a

bad

Foreign

decorous

ministry.

A.

Lord
P.

both

with

due

has

called

the entrance

etiquette and

begun

to

metaphor, by

the

his

cab

"take
way,

and

up"
for

an

Office.

reserve

The

has

that

whole

presides over
warfare

of

the

change of a
oppositionis con-

100

CONFESSIONS

into

densed

one

brought face
Now,
known

by

and

I take

out

with

face

to

the

in the

in life

pride

more

then

he

induce

where

hushed

grew
"and

let

us

address

The

if

see
was

in the

me

I have

paix

from

the

so

for

to

itself,set
which

not

see

low

diet

being, in

was

assembly

the

I, re-echoing the speech;


comrades."
merry
that evening closed
; and
be

I should

peaches of

D., in her ardent


abstemiousness

and
her

its

esteem,

of

member

beneath

to witness

its artificial fruits

with
and

wax,

as

ask of

not

day
congregated ;

paper,

and
all

"

zeal, hoped

high-breeding
To
inseparablyunited.

poor old faded and


unmarried
widows
and

the company,

mock

out

Mrs.

propagate refinement

and

house"

Blackie; and

originalswere

many

appliances by

it

icy,
pacificpol"

in the chair

time whether

some

flowers,its pine-applesin
the

"

happy one
pinnacle of popularity.

very

table

very

carried

"lower

the

said
shall

we
a

hesitated

where

prix ;

tout

I have

my reader to enroll himself for a short space


"the
to sojourn one
establishment," or even
roof

popularly

entered.
comes!"

he

here

"Ay,

said

now!"
I

as

and

resolve,therefore, that

cook

"

partiesare

fashion

well

to deviate

me

the

com,

so

firm

"

"Here

upon

that

Guizot, "la

kitchen,
in committee,"
the

"

ungracious

most

With

success.

I entered

rival

the

myself in thinking that

to

temptation should

no

and

was

of M.

name

CREGAN.

CON

moment,

angry

system

my

OF

crushed

the

flowers

of

gentility,
daughters of taxcollectors long "gathered;" politestorekeepers,
and apothecaries
to the "Forces," cultivatingthe Graces
at the cost
of their appetites,and
of twenty
descending, in costumes
of being " dressed"
for
years back, in the pleasingdelusion
dinner ; while here and there some
going
unhappy skipper,under"

refinement, looked
of his awkwardness,

of

course

ashamed
ashamed

lastly,some

of

the
old

wasted, wrinkled

company

wherein

Seigneur of

he

the Lower

creature, covered

like

and

bear
even

in

still

"

let,"
balmore

himself; and,
a poor,
Province,

found

"

hair-powder and
of
"taste
snuff, but yet, strangelyenough, preserving some
his once
quality,"and not altogetherdestitute of the graces
from
ments
of the land he sprung
curious and incongruous ele;
of
to make
worthy of the presidency
up society,and
that greater incongruity who
ruled them.
"

with

192
could

altered

the

and

national
"

they

without

even

read

we

All

this

nothing
into

be relished

even

being ready

to

whole
Rule

"

class

which

with

and

in common,

of

of

homage

devout

contact, produced in

place

hum

and

they

me

smile

To
the

loins of
the

royalty to enjoy

the while, that

the others

"

the

for

match

"Times"

the

and

mutton

"

Shakspeare,

never
good souls they were,
sturdy spiritof independence
a

the

what

such

that fine old

for

their hearts

without

feel ourselves

us

while

that

precedent. Dear,
from

they long

majesty partaking of either, and


can

over

shaws
preferred kicksirloins; but,

in fashion

for

eager

are

the sirloin,and

have

Falstaff

and

goose

out

boys"

in secret

they innocently forgot,

; but

might

"

"small

English habit, by the way.


be it spoken, they wished

very
honor

others

some

drama
"

took

"

pleased to fancy legs of

be

veal, just as

"

then-

to

would

Queen

and

Opera while
listen to Jenny Lind

who

lost in amusement,
sure,

ribs

its hallowed

to

Keeley, they

Mrs.

with

country, which

old

sit at the

who

llayinarket, and
are

CRUGAN.

be

the

trumpery

folk

the

of

CON

despised by these
true, they often mourned

It is

taste

and
like

risk

without

not

of refinement.

be

OV

CONFJCSSIONB

roast

august

deviating
which

world

makes

in arms,

as

they

had

Britannia."
with

they

whom
could

never

come

strange result ; and


very
at the imitators,I began

in
to

stupendous idea of the natural greatness of those


"
them.
beneath
Con," said
could so impress the ranks
who
suit you perthat is the class in life would
I to myself,
fectly.
He
is no
trade like that of a gentleman.
There
who
does nothing is always ready for everything ; the little
and
shifts and straits of a handicraft
a professionnarrow
or
the natural
confine
expansiveness of the intellect,which,
swell and spread itself
like a tide over
flat shore, should
a
conceive

"

out, free and


care

the
the

that

you

ladder
view

of

without
don't

effort.

sit down

life,but

is best

from

See

to

contented

strive
the top,

ever
even

this, Master
with

low

Con

; take

round

upwards; depend
if it only enable

on

you

on

it,
to

competitors."
These
imaginings, as might be easily imagined, led me
to form
a very
depreciatingestimate of my lords and masters
"
Not
of the
establishment."
only their little foibles and
their small pretensionsand their petty attempts
weaknesses,

look

down

on

your

I "FELL

HOW

and

fortunes

narrow

sarcasm

193

DAVIS."

eyes, but their humble


to support such assumption were
my

is

of

"do

to

man

poor

"

for

"

endeavor

the

as

WIDOW

nothing which a vulgar mind


so
period
unhesitatinglyseizes on

at that

vulgar

was

there

"

WITH

palpable to
means

and

equally so;

OUT"

"

AND

all

life,were

fine

at

"

IN

the

fine

gentleman."
If
never

is

man

no

"

for the

insultingcontempt

company,

fine satin dress, in which

festivals,or stain
to figure through

at

destined
adroit
a

sherry

only

half

week.

drop gravy

made

the

sauce

practiseda
her

appearance
ducks"

russia

"

on

Sometimes, by

an

during dinner, I would produce


irremediable
the owner
confusion, when

almost

of

I would

wearer

with

of decanters

change

scene

of

the

whom

on

petty devices of annoyance.

hundred
a

valet, he who has no valet is


is nobody. I conceived, then, the most

all,

hero at

to his

hero

find himself

would

taking toast-and-water, he

of

beverage having improved the time and finished


the racier liquid. Such
reciprocities,
although strictlyin
with
accordance
free-trade," invariablyled to very warm
of the evening.
discussions,that lasted through the remainder
I removed
Then
and that
platesere the eater was satisfied,
the

last

"

with

ah*

an

of

such

When
a

friend, in

suffered

tillit

return

ladies I measured

of

other

or

the

error

Nor

his decanter

; while

to

like laudanum.

forget to
and

company,

innovations

use

up

strance.
remon-

never

the

elderly
Every now

the dish to

hand

to

some

one

affect

only to discover my
the last spoonful was
as
disappearing.
liberties
I was
did my
end here.
ducing
constantlyintro-

most

wine

silence

to

munificence, I

emptied

was

the

out

then, too, I would

and

enthusiastic

of

moment

it to

imposing resolve as
stingy guest passed

ludicrous
of

adroitness

could

of

scenes

fork, now

in the

of

order

of

dinner, that produced


the
discomfiture, now
on
insisting
"

spoon,

compensate

under

for the

circumstances

implement

; and

where

no

one

day

actuallywent so far as to introduce soap with the fingerglasses,averring that "it was
always done at Devonshire
I
House
have
on
grand occasions."
thought I should
betrayed myself as I saw the efforts of the party to perform
suitable dignity; all I could
their parts with
do was
to
restrain a burst of open
laughter.
I

vol.

i.

"

13

194

CONFESSIONS

So

loug

prosecuted

as

the establishment,
used

of

that
was

and

then, it is true, I

and

become,"

be met

be

staff of

they believed me to be
the " free-and-easytone

I had

to

sure

the actual

on

Now

on

careless

complaints, however,

CRKGAN.

of which

comments

how

manners;

my

well.

all went

ignorant, rather sharp

CON

reforms

my

in French,

overhear

to

OF

by

so

some

on,

"

assurance

I did
that what
manners
were
quite London;"
"my
the type of fashionable
servitude,
apologies made less
to
exult those
who
invented
than
me
screen
them, as
"

to

with

thoroughly conversant
At last,partly from
was
gettingvery weary
of

used

which

of this kind
be

and

Captain Pike,
to Kingstown,

life in

careless

being

to

of

ear

high

of

of

was

the

"

great

ment
amuse-

performances for the


removed

now

for

consequences,

life,

repeating my
he

England.

with

his

ment
regi-

incidents,
partlywishing for some
the monotony
of what
of
kind I cared not, that might break
existence, I contrived one day to stretch my prerogative
my
too far, or, in the phrase of the Gulf, I '* harpooned a bottlethe periphrasisfor making a gross mistake.
nose,"
and

"

"

been

I had

some

thought myself a

and

announced,

was

assemblage

previous

ones.

used

Davis's,

in

"

fact, I felt

the last ball of the


at

which

for the habitues

season

usuallya

congregate than

to

occasion

the choice

was

when

"

entertainment

an

"

crowded

It

man,

Mrs.

at

years

of

the

the house

to

at

of

more

any

accustomed
to
grand friends ; for Mrs. D. was
made
put forth all her strength,and the arrangements were
a petty
on
a scale of magnificence that invariablyoccasioned
famine
for the fortnightbeforehand.
Soup never
appeared,
for the dancers; every one
that
there might be "bouillon"
invite

was

their

on

almost

waiting for
like noonday.
in

in these

came
beof milk, eggs, and sugar ; meat
and went
candles waned
tradition ; even
out,
the auspicious night when
they should blaze

short allowance

score

of

linen!

midnight, with
What
washings of

at

the

company

preparatory schoolings. What

curl-papers would
buttoned-up coats
the

did

Nor

participate
frightfulheads in

fail

to

"What
dinner!
and
at breakfast
appear
refuse all investigationon
and black cravats

What

mysteriouscookings

petty thefts
kid

of

gloves, that

lard
when

and

washed

of

cosmetics

thick
would

cream
never

HOW

"

"

IN

FELL

AND

"

OUT

"

WITH

"

WIDOW

195

DAVIS."

again ! "What inventions of French-polishthat refused


to stick to and
persuasions to dry, but continued
paint
in contact
with ! Then
there were
everything it came
high
like frigatesrazeed
dresses
frock-coats
cut down,
reduced
;
mock
lace
and
false
to dress ones;
at a prejewelry were
mium
of ribbons, bows,
; and all the little patchwork devices
and
carnations, gimp, gauze, and
geraniums, were
put into
requisition, petty acts of deception that each saw
through
in her neighbor, but
undetectable
in
firmly believed were
go
all

on

"

herself.
Then
into rank
did

and

station,

what

"
"

little

they visit; with

character, all breaches

of

invited

twice

in

saint

the

where

guilty without

what

scrutiny

in," and whom


they were
Star-chamber
inquisitionsas to
set

which, it is

remediable
charitablydeemed
to social position; for not

most

was

the

caballings about

what

the

lawn, but

silk"

"washing

but

if the

only

fair to state, were

party had
the

any pretension
in crape

saint

satin

sinner

would

have

able
pardon-

was

been

found

"recommendation."

eternal

tuning of the pianoforte,which


most
perversely insisted on not suiting voices that might
have
duets with a peacock.
Quadrilles were
practised
sung
Timmock
Miss
in empty rooms
was
actuallyseen
; and
ing
tryto teach Blotter to waltz,
a proceeding,I rejoiceto say,
at once
that the moral
feelingof the household
suppressed.
Then

there

was

"

And

what

then,

apartments !
is uneatable

in certain

As
is

artificial flowers

of decoration

scene

benevolent

always given
unavailable

forward

went

to

the

for

the

in all the

families, whatever

poor,
toilet

so

here, all the

generously

were

along the walls, to conceal tin sconces,


and
round
Contrivance
to wreathe
rickety chandeliers.
in Nature's
that
belauded
craft
most
was
phenomenon
of invention, poor
everywhere. If necessitybe the mother
made
were
gentilityis the " stepmother." Never
greater
bestowed

to festoon

"

"

efforts,

like
appear
establishment
As

those

for

"West-end
itself

me,

creatures

Scandal."

incurred,

greater sacrifices

or

My

seem

was

the

who

hand

silk

of

leader
a

of

round

stockings were

make

fashion, and

Holderuess

type

to

to

D.

make

the

House.
one

of

School

for

stage servant,

coffee

Mrs.

in the

embroidered

"

"

with

silver,

196

OF

CONFESSIONS

:iik1 my

showy

filled a

CON

CltEGAN.

these

personal graces,
head ""f tay department; all the other
knife-cleaner
upwards, besides
negro
borrowed, and, I believe I might add,
other
families, being placed under
my
to

these

rebellious

were

invent

I had

adopted,

Traditions
I remembered

the

before,

fatal

things for

radical

it remarked

reformer

how

I ruled

precept

one

"

perience.
inex-

of

dignityby attempting

this

By

subordinates

"

who, having

age,

own

my

gentlemen

cock-pitof

in the

his fashionable

Napoleon
imitation

an

and

squared

Cadiz

at

once,

had

in the gun-room,

number

property,

process
that
I ask

was

merits

of

Smush

it, and
so

"

assemblies
it

on

a
"

that at

all left their hats

similar

one

universal
for

pardon

of

success

"

the

small

being
in

now

dejeuner

who
and

fasted
break-

cloaks

piece of

attached

our

young
he had

traits of

other

the company,

in

card

to

theatres

the
and

particularlydescribing it ;
speak of, and had all the

novelty at the time I


new
discovery.
this wras my deputy's name

the admirable

on

Among

midshipman's berth, receivingeach


a

jackanapes

man-of-war, fancied

remembered

experience,he

given by the officers

was

waited

once

of life.

views

acquired very extended

with

done

are

refractory of my

most

about

but

been

conduct.

The

with

drilling
only because they
I had actuallyto
One
golden rule,
myself to deviate

all the consequences

his

of

the

to me,

from

heard

begged,

orders.

suffered

it had

as

the

domestics

stolen

because

never

having

monarchy.

all my

the

been

those

me

first sacrificed

himself

and

nothing

relieved

which

maxim

all

not
difficulty,

control, but

under

from, viz., to do

of

long

officials,from

discipline during parade."

"the

however,

and

have

had

committed

functions
many
gentry stood first in
the

Among
of

might

vase.

addition

In

that

displayed a bouquet

coat

"

had

been

the arrangement

so

that

struck
he

had

actually preserved the pieces of card, and now


produced
of his trunk.
the recesses
them, black and
ragged, from
the respectful title by which
"Mr.
such was
Cregan"
tell us,"
"Mr.
I was
Cregan can
now
always addressed
"

"

said

he,

London."

"

if

this

is

not

the

custom

at

great

balls

in

HOW

"

It used

"

"

IN

FELL

be

to

myself with a cigar;


But
prevail,I admit.

as

the

' '

in

sat

air of

an

laws

most

regaling

to, Smush,

allude

fashionable

197

DAVIS."

arm-chair,

an

practiceyou

our

change

did

day

; one

the next,
Sybarite luxury,
:
simplicityin their manners
for instance, eating fish with

and

it is all ultra-refinement

"

they affect a degree of mock


anything for novelty! Now,
the

WLDO

"

WITH

formerly," said I, with

so,

coolness,

consummate

"

OUT

"

AND

"

fingers
"

"

Do

"

Do

the

they, indeed,
they ! ay, and
silver

same

one.

every

cup

far?

so

go

fiftythings
round

goes

have

seen

must,

Mr.

"

Latterly,"said I, warming
auditory ready to believe
with

system

same

of

Duke

the

the

with

in

of

out

by

time."

my

subject, and

my

seeing

' '

This

it went.

as

Struttenham's

of

drunk

table,

anything,
they began the
and
always passed the tureen

soup,

tasting it

round, each

the

race-dinner

Cregan."

That

my

At

worse.

strange things

"

you

"

but

was

innovation

an

don't

it will

fancy

last."
And

"

"The

how

do

last

thing,

Mudbrooke's,
with

foolish

coat,

it not

Had

it

the

absurdity

but

the

simple gravity of

the

spoke like

If

"

wish

you

latest,

perfectly unknown
as
parties; and
always another
do

to do

you
claim
said

the

then

the hat

on

marked

guests

always

were

number

"

Lord

at

saw

they
a

Cregan?

hamper

to

card, which

imposing gravity

suggestion had
a

Mr.

the

same

"

been

at

of

my

manner,

apparent

once

impressed

words

my

with

truth.

commonplace

the very newest


thing, Smush, that's
fresh
touch ; and, I '11 venture
to say,

here.

it,"

not

might be, and


!

hats,
what

was

where,

oracle, and

an

quite a

"

"I'll

this

of

the

waiting chalked

for the

been

way,

of

bits

whatever

or

that

gentleman's back

the

on

in

in

servant

about

manage

Richmond,

at

these

losing,the
or

they

It

brush
for

saves

it off
the

Smush,

world

before

of

trouble

to

they leave,

parting douceur

all

it is

"

eagerly; "they

cannot

be

"

angry
"

"

Angry

in London
The

train

! angry
!
was

"

said
now

at what

is done

with

I, affecting horror
laid ; I had

only

to

the very first people


at
the bare
thought.

wait

for

its

explosion.

198

CONFESSIONS

CON

OF

CREGAN.

At

first,I did this with eager impatience for the result

as

the

time

drew

with

near,

somewhat

of

then,

anxiety; and,

Yet
last, with downright fear of the consequences.
revoke
the order, to confess
that I was
only hoaxing on
at

solemn

subject, would

forever.

been

have

What

the
be

downfall

of

to
so

my

done?

ascendency
I could
which
imagine but one escape from the difficulty,
to provide myself with
a
was
clothes-brush, and, as my
station was
at the drawing-room door, to erase
the numerals
their

before

the forfeiture
I would
that

my

leave

"

midnight,

and

accession

for

to its ranks

the business

and

of

the

can

should

escape
maintaining it.

of

strange incidents

only

dwell

remove
permission
graciously accorded,

of

above

the

to

most

habits

town-bred

my

of

mind

I asked

in hand,

this way

the risk

some

great occasion, but my


dust,

no

credit,and

willinglyrecall

as, brush

to

of

In

entered.

wearers

to

was

attention.
hour

an

At

last

it

company
; quadrilleshad succeeded

dental
acci-

some

"

the

one,

upon

and

of

ascribed

nigh

was

had

received

quadrilles,

all the
swimmingly on,
of similar
time-honored
events
assemblages happening with
that rigidregularitywhich, if evening-parties
were
managed
by steam, and regulated by a fly-wheel,could not proceed
with more
"Heads
of houses"
with bald
ordinary routine.
scalps led out simpering young
boarding-school misses, and
with
of agility,
danced
noble
show
to refute
latent
a
any
There
the usual
number
of
were
suspicion of coming age.
vowed
the dancing was
only a shuffling
very old people, who
had
movement
walk, not the merry
practised half a
they
lack-a-daisical
men,
gentlecentury ago ; and there were
young
with waistcoats
variegated as a hearth-rug,and magnificent
who
pokers,
lounged and
breast-pinslike miniature
the most
lolled about, as though youth were
embarrassing
heir to.
and
wearying infliction mortality was
There

lady, as
shoes
who
two

who

are

in

about

then

there

danced

with

proportion

of

There

with
was
a

the

her
the

duck

muslin

where

land

every
manufactured.

floated

"

besides, all the varieties

were,
seen

went

scene

was

gauzy
short and

in her

class young
is sold, and
white

of

the

lady,
slightyoung
dress daintilypinched in
dumpling young
lady,

gait ;

the

and

there

flouncing,flaunting kind,

were

who

took

large
the

200

OF

CONFESSIONS

I have

"

but

the

"

them

more

did

not

before

was

discovered.

"

shout

I had

just time

with

his

his coat
shrill

on

"

Not

me,

Smush

was

kick

! not

colored
the

terrified servitor

knew

choking, and
should
expire with
"

said

You

confess

the

"Oh,

the

forgive

the very
felt as if when

he

could

his

"

the

So it was

sir!

n't

finish ;

him

Mr.

did

from

the

him
back

dancers.

the

whole

!"

parlor

With

one

flying; and ere the


portended, a strong
him
ran
bang!
up

assault

moment

gurgling rattle
he ceased

was

in his throat,

to breathe

that I

him.

me,

flung

grasp,
stairs.

"

"

throat, and
terrible
Oh, what
a

with

rage.

oh, forgive me!


told
for

Mr

was

dear, I

'm

"
"

major, in relinquishing

the

the

"

It

Oh

me

and

backwards,

Cregan,

"

rascal ! "

it,then, you infernal

Cregan, sir, the butler, who


What,

and

truth, you d

the

the

it ! you own
almost
hoarse

major,

all

culpritat

one

! Smush

for

I heard

like

this ?

the

sent

that

me

emerging

what

caught him by
against the clock-case.
me

that

the clock-case

Tell

"

Massa

me,

fluids

major

grasp

that for

told

now

this instant

of

hall ; but

thundering downstairs,

came

punishment.
ebony ! who did

at

tray

vigorous

Sambo

Massa

I descended

spring

one

to open

for

up
of
carved
piece

ciously.
mali-

arm.

yell from

"

was

"

man,

brought me to the
laughter apprised me

of

Major McCan

with

old

the

out

more

flight; another

step into it, as

with

still !

numerous

wheezed
for

wait

terrible

see

not

the first

"

thirty-four,madam;

"
Cox?
said he, gettingfieryred.
you mean,
'11 look in that glass yonder, which
is opposite the

you

least

and

do

mirror, you '11 soon

CREGAN.

hundred

one

makes

major

How

"If

counted

CON

he

fell

butler,

"

against
was

"

it?

"

the

said

emphasis on each word as though he had


bitten the syllables. "Well!
is Tony
sure
as
as
name
my
about is fair
McCan, Mr. Cregan shall pay for this ! Turn
and
I be drummer
to the
play ; you have marked
me,
may
and with this denunciation,
Cape Fencibles if I don't mark
you !
major, with

an

"

uttered

truth, he took
from

the

house.

in
a

tone, every

hat

"

the

accent

first next

of
to

vouched

which
him

"

and

for

issued

HOW

"

with

Shivering
Sinush

till
broken

as

"

Who

the

fast
in

terrace

as

of

front

there?"

goes

flights

sanctuary.

well

could

barrack,

the
of

the

the

knew

filthy
that

the

stairs

Town,"

"Lower
crime

and

or

shame

the

fled,

crossed

heeding

not

sentry
down

me.

carry

clear,

hall-door,

the

waited

"

downstairs

being

coast

opening

and

hastened
to

the

then,

legs

my

battery-wall,

recesses

and

cause,

carried

aid,

201

DAVIS."

without

not

Sambo's

hiding-place,

my

WIDOW

"

with

"

WITH

and

terror,

had,

"

OUT

"

AND

fragments

from

ran

"

IN

FELL

stepped
ay,

"

the
the

grass
hoarse

along

dashing

then,
that
in

could

lead
whose
soon

in

cessive
suc-

dingy
find

EMIGRANT'S

AN

FIRST

"ON

but

convey

locality.

while
are

the

familiar

to

me

the

have

and

that

passed

terrible

of

Dublin
time

more

of

Ghetto

Paris;
Rome

of

still,for wickedness

but

the

to

attractive

Louis

the

Quebec

metropolis,

its least

St.

Isle

state, I give palm

unwashed

of

Liberties

of

the

the
of

of

Vienna

of

Leopoldstadt

tolerably

most

in

mention

to

care

of

of

indeed

some

ignorant
Galway;

not

am

in

life

seen

Claddagh

the

than

have

notion

faint

very

situations.
and

Town

Lower

St. Giles's

the

is

SHORE."

the

that

I say

STEP

Lower

in
Town

its
of

Quebec.
mixed
The
gradually interpopulation, originallyFrench, became
from
of whom
Ireland,
came
with
emigrants, most
and who, having expended the little means
they could scrape
landed
in
together for the voyage, firmly believing that, once
"
worth
not
chimera"
troubling one's
a
America, gold was
head
became

about,

they
in

laborers

overstocked,
counterpart

sunk
of

that

unable

were

the

city, or,

down

they

into

had

to
as

the

market

of

state

left

farther,

go

on

and

grew

pauperism,

the

other

side

either

speeflily
the
of

very
the

AN

EMIGRANT'S

ocean.

Their

violence

of all their

the

and
it

maintain

that very

so

the

drunkenness,

"

"

reckless

then

terrified
sive
submis-

most

feelinghow

soon,

co-partnery with

203

SHORE."

and
habits, at first shocked
of all people the
Canadians,

yielding,

to

was

"ON

STEP

their

turbulence,

timid

poor

FIRST

impossible
associates,they left

such

the

the field to the new


race.
neighborhood, and abandoned
Intermarriageshad, however, taken place to a great extent ;
from
with
the natives, a
which, and the daily intercourse
to be spoken which
species of language came
was
currently
called French,
but which
might, certainlywith equal propriety,

be
modified
and

Cherokee.

called

itself with

till at

this

course

new

exigencies of those who


ingredientdeclined, the Milesian

the French

as

Of

the

length

it became

far

tongue
spoke it;

Irish than

more

derated,
preponFrench.

like a dialect adapted to its own


Nothing assists barbarism
conducive
wants.
to the propagamore
Slang is infinitely
tion
of vice than
is generallybelieved ; it is the " paper currency
and
issues as much
of iniquity,
each man
he
likes.
as
"
of this fact, I should
If I wanted
evidence
call up" the
an
defied
place I am speaking of, where the very jargon at once
civilization and ignored the "schoolmaster."
The
ties,
authorieither regarding the task as too hopeless,or too dangerous,
"

this infamous
with

of

impossible that they

wickedness

that

vice, as Yankee

spot of tall grass

had

farmers

selected

that

they

accustomed

are

snakes, by way

the

to attract

the existence

over

appropriate territory,aud

peculiar and
this den

It is not

locality.

satisfaction

some

to slur

troublesome, seemed

too

or

its
had

of
saw

only
left

to leave

of preventing

them
As
Lower
voice
very
could
like

a larger surface.
scatteringand spreading over
each emigrant ship arrived, hosts of these idlers of the
Town
beset the newly landed
strangers, and by their
and
accent
The
imposed upon the poor wanderers.
of the old country were
tones
a magic the
new-comers
of voyaging that seemed
not
withstand, after weeks

years

of

travel.

country they had


human

heart !
touched

tenderest
a

"

quitted, ay,
of

their

emotions.

reminded

Whatever

the land

they

recognizedlivelihood

trade
so

of

the

strange inconsistencyof the

"

hearts, and
To

them

on

had

left for very


moved
them
to
this

ness,
hopelessthe

very

became
susceptibility

that the quays

were

crowded

with

204

CONFESSIONS

idle

vagabonds

as

West-eud

who

sought

waiter

OF

CON

out

the

CREGAN.

with

prey

much

as

displays in detectingthe

rauk

skill

of

new

arrival.

This

filthylocality,
too,

resorted

follow

their

were

"

"

they
in

wasted
cost

fix

bend

their

full of

become
It

the

stranger who

who

had

been

his

that

into the
the

ruin,

"

sible
imposback

condition

degraded
old

had

story, the dupe

blackleg.
well if deceit

were

and

calculatingbaseness,

But

little hoards

became
progress
but a few weeks

landed

down

the

the

debauchery

strong hope, sunk

those

and

steps;

"

country to which
here, but too often, were

accumulate, till farther

to

; and

the part of

upon

and

excess

years

and

could

should

they

not

; crimes

so

inhabitant

an

have,

for

of

all that

were

city,with

consideration, put

any

nightfall. The very cries


the night were
often heard in

of

the

shriek

of

help, prudent
that

statement

Towards

needed

this

of instinctive

It chanced

also, and

this district
the stillness

upon

ever
Upper Town
; and whenthe heartrending cry for

or
arose,
agony
citizens would
close the

window, and say, u It


a comprehensive
Town,"

of the Irish in the Lower

some

within

broke

here.

character, would

or

foot

that

rife

were

money

treachery

forward

went

character

every

of the

if heartless

falsehood,

after

is

lodging-houses
easily persuaded to
Here
might lead.

"

before

not

emigrants, who

all the

wherever
he
countryman
sometimes, unhappily,the weeks
spent the days

were

of

the

by

to

contained

"

commentary.

no

I
pleasant locality
that I had

sense

hastened, with

now

claims

some

the

on

kind

sanctuary.

emigrant ship which had arrived that


evening was just disembarking its passengers
; mingling with
lanes of
the throng of which, I entered
the filthyand narrow
that

this Alsatia.

canvassing
my

The

heralded

were

them

in the
first
him
once

for

been

the

and

as

population,eagerly
not
lodging-house. Had

for

enough
contrast

between

endeavored

to

who

and

dupe.

have

I should

me,

foreign shore, and

unsuspecting

usual,

as

resident

that

or

all Irish, and,

were

proposed guidance, and

been

cajoled

this

strange

stepping on
who

arrivals

new

by parties of

troubles

own

an

the

simple peasant

the shrewd
doubtless

artless

as

terested
felt in-

of
roguery
himself
had

those

he

now

FIRST

EMIGRANT'S

AN

single individuals

that

saw

soon

the

in

for,

had

dark,

lodging-houses was
mixed
myself up with

that

family hotels, perhaps ; so


of some
eight or ten,
group

little

of

accounted

were

various

of the

claim

; the

consequence

205

SHORE."

"ON

STEP

indication

other

no

sounded

voices

whose

as
a

pleasant,
suggest

to

preference.
I

with

went,

long

not

was

of

one

establishing a footing,
this party,
old, very
an

in

solved

when

to

He

in

Finucane

any

had

'twas

and

do

better

persuaded my

general, with
"

old

man,

ould

well, if

done

he

had

n't

square

again

to

God!
Joe

glance

stern, down
returned

I, inviting

he's

he's

pointed
disap-

not

to

sell

doing finely; and


the little place and

long way it is
generalities on

few

it," said

out."

son

cursory
"

we

was

name

'prenticeto

was

certain

"I'm

wonderful

expending

Noah's

the

here, rely upon

disclosures;

here ; and
After

said

he

have

might

having come
indeed; glory be

that

the

by trade,"

with

"No,

thought

the

tablets"

"my

to

to

as

Americay."

further

some

left Ireland;

never

he'll

"But

refer

to

light, for

the

Ennis,

for

turn

at

to

for

"

in

voyages

sea

from

architecture,
I

whom

"

round

"

the modern

Dan,

to

naval

vation,
inno-

already

ceived
con-

strong interest.

And

is it far

to

Orleans

New

who, I perceived,

man,

was

; aud

walking

were

we

shoemaker

better

"

there

me.

was

"and

where

nose

to

came

familiar

come

whose

man,

if I

hesitated, promising

second,

the

his

show

to

"

first, if

know,

to

' '

talking

as

ever
going," and, secondly,
I
The
first doubt
Cullinane.
of his grandson, Dan
for him
frankly and freely,that an Indian would n't

heard

dare

old

"

greatest anxiety was


Ingins where we were

far

so

struck

was

this?"

from

by

said

the

old

sagacity in

the air of

discourse.

my

Orleans!

"New
miles
"

his
"

away

that's

why

Oh, murther, murther!


hands

No,"

in

the

States,

cried

the

old

thousand

"

' '

said

and
I ;

ain't
M

we

"

in

the

this is Canada."

States

fellow, wringing
"

206

CONFESSIONS

"listen

and
"

who

he, pulling his

cried

Joe!"

"Joe,

the

by

son

Oh, murthev, uiurther!

this, acushla.

to

C REGAN.

CON

OF

collar,

we're

kilt

"

!
destroyed intirely
What

is it, father?"

spoke

in

his

utter

to

States;

"that

I,

this

now,

"

what

said

ails

the

old

man,
"

you?

not

man,

griefs.

said

seems,"

"It

voice ;

resolute

but

tall,powerfully built

darlint, tell him!"

him,

"Tell
able

low

said

is not

believed

you

is British

This

so.

yourselves in

the

America,

"

Canada."

Lower
"

Isn't

it

"

It is

he, standing full in front of

said

Quaybec'?"

"

me.

Quebec

"And

it's ten

fellow, whose

"

Perfectly,
And

of

it,"said I, with

fourteen

or

Oh, th' eternal villain ! if I had


he

as

struck

the

which

certainlywould

divine

towld

"he

day's walk !
easy
"Who
said so?"
"The

old

"do

son;

chap

ground
they

me

him
blow

hundred

by

were

his

with

few

miles,
!"

the neck

improved

have

not

the

miles

at

cried

blackthorn
human

asunder,

face
an

"

"

asked
Eden

on

effrontery

an

"

here?

like thirteen

Something
rough guess."
Joe,

the

considerably.

far is 't from

how

"

"

suffocating him.
talk," said the

me

street

every

aided

the darkness

said

Orleans?"

New
"

"

let

"

Dan!

from

almost

were

father, and

know

miles

thousand

cries

"Whisht,
you

that is Canada."
still,

; but

I.
in

Quay,

Dublin, where

we

took

our

passage."
"Don't

nothing
do
you
comfort
very
time

here
in
to

Irish

think

we

Ireland

of

you,

I 'm

no

also, did
Joe

appear
made
no

clasped hands,
that,

blessings.

so

far

as

the

way

to

went,

miles

mutter

had

not

is
than

If it 's

then

for the first

head
some

the

any

This

myself."

the full confidence

but, with

answer,

"distance

hundred

I learned

give

continued
sound

same

which
to

I;

breakfast.

before

going

not

of

more

walk

consolatory assurance,
for

and

down-hearted, anyway," said

be

pected,
ex-

dropped
words

"clink"

in
of

208

hike

which,

I could

ere

CREGAN.

going," said

Of what's

sh:uv

yer

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

reply to,

he

to me,

reiterated

was

an

"

by

tion
invita-

the whole

party.
Do

"

as

me,
that

know

you

continued

we

said

"No,"
here

guard

I, in

Will

"Are

of

mazes

'tis best

"but

be

of

lanes

on

our

in

bad

' '

the

ax

you
don't mind

less

whisper,

are

walked

who

sons,

less and

Joe

gloomy
frequented.

through

way

asked

goiug here?"

neighborhood."
three boys there," said he, pointing to his
in front,
that will pay for all they get.

we

Well, there's

"

our

gradually

grew

we're

where

fellows

far

how

're to

we

go

yet, for they

me"
this

near

we

said

lodging-house?"

same

I, bluntly,

fledged
using French, to show that I was no unarrival from
beyond the seas.
"
Ahi !
cried one,
the battery."
a gaillardfrom
mounsier?"
"Where
from, a la gueule de loup, young
said the other, familiarlycatching me
by the lapel of my

guides, and

the

to

"

"

coat.
"

"

bold
"

"

that

gave

I, with

teeth," said

his

of

an

flat lie to.

laugh of horrible meaning.


repeated I, with a sinking courage, but a
a

very

voice.
I wish

we

To
we

Ah

"

Here
of

in better

were

directions

"

door

heart

said he, with

"

Vrai!

what
4 '

"

Vrai?

afraid

not

am

effronterymy

easy
"

Because

show

did you
the best

us

company," whispered I to Joe ;


give these fellows?
lodging-house for the night, and
"

'd pay
well for it."
!
thought I, " that explains something."
"

we

are,

mounseers,"

two-storied

said

one,

house, he knocked

as,

with

stopping at

the

his knuckles

on

panel.

the
"

Nous
out

"

and
"

said

fillons,slick,en
his

They
we

"

well

It would

be

Joe, who

rid

whispered
of

ing
other, hold-

did

not

to wait

"

"

they

and

see

if

want

to be

paid,

they '11let us in,"


departure,while

this summary
for a suitable coin.

fancy

pocket

quick !

I ;

them."

manners

in his
"

!"

going

are

Vite !

the

hand.

are

he fumbled

suite,here," said

sharp

time !

"

cried

one

of the

fellows,

EMIGRANT'S

AN

who,

be off ; and

impatientto
shillingwhich
Qui

"

va

"

rather

fled, followed
a

time

on

Joe's

within, seemed
than

taking the
fingers,he

reluctant
the

rapidly by

other.

sharp voice from within, as


the door-panel with a stone.

said I ; "we

Friends,"

"

snatching

and

cried

second

for the

from

lingered in

want

209

SHORE."

heard

was

so,

"ON

STEP

still

about

wheeled

voices

of

sound

the

as

FIRST

I knocked

lodging and something

to

eat."
The

door
we

and

the

saw

figure of

fellows
young
called the other

one
"

Ay,
son

! his

These

words

for

time

own

and

Are

"

indeed

"

own

she

"

the

said

quay,"

Joe;

"

hag

"I

was

of it : his

sure

!"

sou

repeated

in

of

tone

quite unmindful

seemed

to get in at all?

we

"

profound

of

sorrow,

presence.

our

in

said the old man,

an

accent

impatience.
"What

hurry

in; and

yer

"

to

in !
ye 'd be, after ye wor
I think we'd
better try somewhere
; "I

me

don't

like the look

this, a loud
street, accompanied

reply

"

to

in

move

Here

"step

in

young
without

girlsforward

quick,

further

floor, she
her

drew

cloak

Them
The

or

else,"whispered Joe

place."

the

question.

too

Before

the

end

I could

of

people,

the
who

regulated step.
!

they come

ye '11 be

by

of

late!

cloak

Then,

"

cried the old

"

she

and

woman

dragged the

followed
into the hall ; we
placing the lantern on the

chain

door, and dropped


voice,
low, tremulous

the

across
heavy
the light,saying in
'
Tapageers !

'"

's the

""

now

singing in

were

kind

over

crowd

! Here

they are

of this

wishing yerself

"

yell burst forth from


by the tramp of many

to

seemed

'tis

maybe

again

out

"

the

muttered

that

accent

an

brought yez here?

on

Tony.'

in

she,

who

met

we
'

eyes, bleared

whose

said

And

"

tern,
lan-

fixedly.

want?"

her to be Irish.

"Two

old woman,

an

us

lodgen' yez

showed

of

opened, and, by the light of

once

bloodshot, glared at

"'Tis

"

at

was

closer, and

came

chorus

song,

we

of which

perceived that they


the

air,at least, was

Irish.
The

barbarous

rhyme of
passing,still lingersin my
VOL.

i.

"

,4

one

rude

memory

verse,
:

"

as

they

sung

it in

210

CONFESSIONS

No

"

OF

hag,

the

"Who

free,
hand, whatever plazo us.
Tow, row, row,

ax,

The

Will yez show


me,
that
'11 dare to face us
polis

at

'tis well
died

what

or

away,

safe!"

wor

ye
and

now,
!"

said

all became

ola

the

silent

in the

or

's the

"And

the

at

what

held

it far

stop here

we

impatient

'

Tapageers

make

they

"Can

'

! The

in their rounds.

woman

is ; but

said

they?"

are

curiosity being
that

spared
enough, the place

'T is bad
!

worse

for

chaps

the

never

"

said

night?"

Joe, growing

colloquy.

for

the

up

I, my

fear.

by

Them

she

us;

take

sounds

stimulated

man

saze

it

without.

street

"

we

have

we

And

they go!

as

CREGAN.

bloody agint here we see,


and
Ready to rack,distrain,

Whate'er

"There

CON

ye stop here?"
the better to see

wud

lantern

asked

the

him

as

crone,

who

made

the

demand.
"

We

man

want

and

"

'T is

"

back

malice

that

"

Then

God

made

wall

and

have

could

"

the

are

ye

What

sinses?"

cried

chain,

the

the

"They're
he.
minute

"

Let
!

"

she

fiend-like

else," said Joe.

noise

hearts, any

of

said

was

Tapageers

tumult

and

the chain

in

"

way!
a

half-

without

arose

doin'?

the

hag,

secret

of

murdering
me

free,

or

Are
as

scuffle,

Are

he
one

I '11 kick

did

not

to

wrest

open

understand.

without
down

of your

out

ye

endeavored

Joe

which
some

mad?

ye

at least

"

crashing of sticks, and the shouting of


which, too, piercingcries for help burst forth.

hear

from

fray ;

with

bould
This

"

we

she ; and

losing our time here !


she, preparing to undo

use

"

the

said

"

no

said
you !
"Ye
the door.

after,

"

somewhere

go

they go! d'ye hear them?"


whisper, as the wild yellsof the
soon

the old

for both."

laughed

There

and

sleep,"said

chill.

must

we

either !

for

blood

my

speed

fastened

that

kem

place ye
against the

I suppose
boys ; 'tis

Come,
"

we

and a place to
supper,
're able and willin' to pay

nice

leaned

"

our

your

there!"

said

old

this

door

EMIGRANT'S

AN

"

away,

Where

"

To

down

out

turned

to

decide

devolved

and

wall

the

that

upon

me

courage,
night, since

we

clasped

what

on

now,

best

with

fainter,
after

terror.

to

were

to

hands

his
to

She

God!"

said

before

Joe,

him, like

at

one

follow.

paralyzed by fear that it


the rest ; so, summoning
my

so

for

act

be

pullingout

man,

his prayers.

began

course

all

old

the

said, " Will you allow us


are
strangers, and do

shelter?"

seek

and

crying ;

sigh, and

unable

saw,

and

fainter

to

fast, and

runs

bloody place; glory

in allusion

were

"

burst

last,with

done

the corpse will be


"
Island,
ay, in the Gulf, 'fore morning !
ings,
girls,unable longer to control their feel-

young

to

grew

! the stream

Goose

two

rosary,
"'Tis

which

said I, half breathless

the river

here
a

"

to?

below

The

words

it's

"

as

stillness.

of death-like

"

hear?

men

taking the body away," whispered she,

"They're
pause

terrible

strong

altogether.

ceased

then

These

sobbing sound,

of

low kind

"as

"

"

211

SHORE."

"ON

honey ! said the hag ;


that a'ready ; and
d'ye

; it 's over

and

STEP

"

Kick

yourselftried
now

FIRST

shook

her

head,

to

stay here
know

not

not

so

air of

refusing my request as to convey that


worth
the granting.
something scarce
We
a shelter for the
only want
night

for

the

where

to

much

with

the

I had

asked

for

"

"

"

"

And

from
a

bit to

eat," broke

his prayers.

bit of

with

and

belly bacon,
pot

of

in the

Sanctificatur

"

"

of

Matthew,

"

turning

in sec'la,

Tower

"

praties, and

old man,

if it

round

was

Ivory, purtect
Mark,

only
us

Luke,

"

and

John""
"

Is he

belong

to

an

"

friar?
'

ordher

'

hag

to

me,

eagerly;

"

does

he

"

good Catholic."
She wrung
her hands, as if in disappointment ; and
then,
said, "Come
taking up the lantern once
along! I'll
more,
show
stay."
yez where
ye can
We
and
followed, I leading the others, up a narrow
walls streaming with damp
two
and
rickety stair, between
When
she reached
the
patched with mould.
landing she
searched
for a moment
for a key, which
having found, she
whose
opened the door of a long low room,
only furniture
"

No,"

said I ;

said the

"

he 's

only

212

CONFESSIONS

deal

was

and

some

table and

OF

few

CON

CREGAN.

chairs ;

stuck

candle

in

bottle,
the table, and
a
a

on
drinking-vesselsof tin,were
tobacco.
piece of newspaper
containing some
There," said she, lighting the candle, " you may
stay
here ; 'tis all I 'in able to do for yez, is to give ye shelter."
And
nothing to eat?
ejaculated the old man, sorrowfully.
44

"

44

44

44

Hav'

n't you a few


1 didn't
taste
food

hag;

44

and

as

and

that's

she

spoke,

she

sea-biscuit
44

such

Well, by

who

always

worse

for

Lucky

"

potatoes? said Joe.


since yesterday morning," said
what's
to keep life in me
to-morrow!"

for

seemed

the first to

girls,for
have

we

Meanwhile,

no

the

we

it !

talking,"said Joe,
clearly. 44 'Tis
way
draw
of the pipe.
a

in

his

see

take

"

girls had

two

call 44rusk."

use

can

blackened

of

fragment

sailors

there's

coorse,

us

out

Russian

as

the

held

the

taken

off their

cloaks, and

loose sticks together, to


busy gathering some
lent
I at once
fire, a piece of practicalwisdom
were

make

"

all aid

to.

The
make

hag, apparently
the

some

yez
44

of

wood,

more

offered
to

best

went

fragments

"

the

by

matters,

saying, 44'Tis

us,

all !

moved

returned

and

out,

of

all I

ready compliance

to

with

ship-timber, which she


Good
give yez.
night
"

can

"

Well, father," said

pipe, and taken


the ship, but

seat

think

lighted his
tired enough of
by the fire,44ye wor
again there,
ye wish yerself back
Joe,

as

he

as

soon

had

now."
44

44

1 wish

wish

Ireland
This

more

nor

never

that," said

seen

the

same

ship;

man,
nor

querulously;
ever

left ould

"

sentiment

awakening,

threw

gloom

of
only memories
land, but also by the confession
which
each
was
only able
unavowed.

not

The

sorrow

sleepy. At first,the three


themselves
high, stretched
snored

the old

away

in

concert;

made
44

over

home

of
to

them

the whole
and

party, by

that

far-away
of disappointa
sense
ment
struggle against while
silent, and

at

last

boys," great fellows of six feet


the
floor, and
full-lengthon
with
the two
then
girls,one

EMIGRANT'S

AN

her

head

on

FIRST

the other's

STEP

lap, fell off;

in front of the
sittingdirectly

more,

or

the old man,


and

backwards
so, to

off into

myself alone,waking

213

SHORE."

while

nodded
fire,

forwards, waking up, every half hour


pipe; which done, he immediatelyfell

leavingJoe and

"ON

lighthis

doze

once

and watchful.

Oh
.

^GMFffER'.XVlI
NIGHT

OE'S

THE

IN

bent

were

eyes

"LOWER

with

showy
to

costume

white

my

could

easily see
glances ranged

his

with

cravat, adorned

amethyst

the silver

clocks

fancied

I almost

nay,

on

silk

my

and

new

we

lost

are

Now,
well

was

condition

of

the

low

is

same

York

look

the

to
I have

look

of

most

bestows

one

upon

instincts

and

his
a

is to

that

"

that

which

the

peasant

the

as

mind

there
in

Saxon

was

rank

no

Ireland

as
nor

conceives
The

class

chicanery, impudence,

hood,
false-

similar

element

Irish

was

Servant."

Livery

with
of

score

"

say,

good

is united

properties ;

families,
to

the

other

to

not

native

a
"

of

bitters

"

potion.

Scarcely a
face

shoes

counting

was

habits

whose

knew

estimate
in

the

was

my

of mock

brooch
he

as

that, being occasionally, in great

England,
of

of

It

I well

for

theft, and
add

too,"

and

man

associated

by

conjecture.
"

himself

as

such

"

that

sat

that

buckled

my

splendid

once

singular animal,

in

from

stockings

undisguised astonishment,
some

fixedness

occasioned

was

as

me,

upon

directly opposite him,


I

TOWN."

mastiff
these
said

' '

"

tenant

than
human

I knew

could

be

footman,
lilies who

this well

found
such

"

neither
I had

been

that

would

is the
toil

nor

reared

not

rather

proverbial
spin.

like
dis-

Now,

in the kuowl-

216

CONFESSIONS

OP

CON

CREGAN.

abashed

by his mistake, said nothing ; and so we


interchanginga word, for full live minutes.
sat, without
had
I have
a strugglewith
myself, Culliuane," said I, at
I have
conquered.
last, "and
Ay, I have gained the day
of shame.
in a hard-fought battle againstmy sense
I will be
In this dress I appeared to-night
frank with you, therefore.
companion,
"

the boards

on

Quebec

of the

theatre."

"

Joe, with a face very far from


play actor ! exclaimed
of the histrionic art.
expressing any high sense
"Not
I am
one.
a
exactly,"said I, "only a would-be
gentleman by birth, family,and fortune ; but taking it into
A

head, in

my
of

actor's

an

foolish

life,I fled

affluence, and

follow

to

ease,

home,

apprehension

do

why

"

instant, by surrendering me
dollars !

my

"We

you.

ay, Cullinane, are


It is in your
this
power

to

family, to

were

my

reached

take

to

the

last

At

success.

country, although the reward


father had
acquainted all the

flight,entreating

them

from

far

career

so

he

below

wrote

others,
Among
the Governor-General,
from

always able,

to

to

do

my
an

we

had

of

been

utmost

rank

sources,

Canada,

to

came

not

to

and

to

and
in

aid

learn

in

announced,
dissuade

future

friend

requesting his
other

gaining
characters, and,

principalpeople with

their

old

in you, hear
at first by unfrequented

North, when,

high range

which

was

five thousand

earn

"

till we

I ventured
courage,
I will own
it,with

my

"

proof of my confidence
travelled
through the States

routes

my

for

"

ye think I'd be
In
No, I do not.

story.

other
an-

assumed

offered

were

At

"

"Do
"

quitted friends,relatives,

sums

say

deceive

I will not

like the excitement

strollingcompany.
all the disguisesI

escape

offered.

from

I should

relate to you
may
detection.
Immense

time
to

hour, that

my
me

prospects.

schoolfellow,
this

affair.

every step that


this,
only knew

object; so that I not


father's letter to Lord
but actuallypossessed a copy of my
all things,
Poynder, wherein this passage occurred : Above
the
! Remember
no
exposure
my dear Poynder, no publicity,
will one
day hold, and let him not be
position Cornelius
he may
in after-life.
If the silly
when
ashamed
meet
you
of dignity,to abandon
sense
boy can be induced, by his own
was

taken

with

this

'

IN

NIGHT

"LOWER

THE

217

TOWN."

the better ; but


coercion
pursuit, so much
would, I fear, give faint hope of eradicating the evil.' Now,
actual force
be
to
I perceived that no
was
employed
as
in
the
hesitate
did
I
to
not
part for
against me,
appear
this

unworthy

which

the

announced

bills

Have

me.

read

ever

you

Shakespeare?"
"

No, sir,"said Joe, respectfully.

14

"Well, no

matter.

that character,

of

the

dress

the

applause I

To

be

the very

In

himself

Governor

"

accustomed

was

brief.

this is
Hamlet,
little suspecting,indeed, how

to

was

he

receive

to

of

centre

with

came

as

appear

"

was

previous

any

his whole

the scene,
entrance
on
soliloquy,' Show

me

stole

hissing!

commenced

hisses,all

Governor-General

begun

that

thief

the

the

made

that

Now,

my

cent
magnififame,'

my

hiss ; then

staff

the

was

staff, but with


had

sooner

scarcelyhad

"

Excellency

his

when

No

intimation.

changed.

the dress-circle

out

to be

when
the

"

the
dent
Presi-

the
colleagueshiss ; then come
bishop and the inferior clergy, with the judges and the
Attorney-General, and so on ; then all the loyal population
of the house
joined in, with the exception of a few in the
cried
galleriesthat hated the British connection, and who
for Con
Three
cheers
Cregan and the independence of
out,
of the Council

all his

and

'

!'

Canada

yellsand

this way
the first act ; groans
went
and
on
cat-calls overtopping all I tried to say, and screams
In

to
for the manager
At
house.
last out

matters

worse

asked, and
hear
his

voice

about

arms

stage-box

did

like

and

that
there

insane

an

This

come.

directions

many
made

demands

one

any

he

so

issuingfrom

out

come

it

part
while

of

the

made

given, questions

were

clearlyimpossible to

was

stood

every
for a

the manager,

telegraph, now

swinging

running

to

the

side, then

to the other, to
crossing over
maintain
a little private conversation
by signs,till the sense
of the house spoke out by accidentallycatching a glimpse of
at

in the

me

one

side-scenes.

it your
pleasure,my lords, ladies, and
that this actor should not appear
again before you
44

44

'

Is

Yes
of

yes.
voices.

What

am

No

"

to

"

no

"

no,' were

understand?'

said

shouted

gentlemen,
?

'

from

dreds
hun-

he, bowing, with

1"18
his

OF

CONFE8SION8

to

If

orders.

your

approbation

him.

submissivelybefore

crossed

arms

CREGAN.

"'""N

Cregan

Mr.

'

does

not

submit

self
my-

meet

your

"

"

"

Throw

adrifl
bark!

into the dock

log

down

burn

"

him

his neck

chip

"

and

"

set

"

him

him
for

up

twenty other

like

together; and so, not waiting


manager's politenesswould
carry him, I
forth

Yes, Cullinane, I fled with

the theatre.

fled from

break

"

charcoal!'

burst

far the

how

see

Gulf-stream!

the
for

proposals

humane
to

on

him

and

shame

day
disgust from that fickle public,who applaud with ecstasy toNor
with infamy to-morrow.
condemn
that they may
I deceived
was
by the vain egotism of supposing that I was
Alas ! my
the object of their ungenerous
friend, the
anger.
Irish name
and
it was
evil lay deeper,
family they
my
sought to insult ! The old grudge that they bear us at home,
How
with them.
the seas
plain it is : they
they carry over
can
superiority. It is this they seek
never
forgive our
wherever
they find us."
revenge
upon
narrative
I
to my
that in giving this peculiarturn
I own
listener had
led by perceiving that my
a
begun to show
was
ings
lamentable
of sympathy for myself and my sufferwant
most
driven to try what
a little patriotismmight do
; so I was
of CulliI was
in arousing his feelings; and
right. Some
had been Terrys,
or Blackf
eet, or Whitenane's connections
other of these pleasant fraternities who
or
one
feet, or some
with a landlord for the bull's-eye. He at
study ball-practice,
quoted
once
caught up the spiritof my remarks, and even
"

"

never

the calves

and

to
the

of

the width

of

of his

our

had

which

land, however,

the

This, like nine-tenths


as

about

legs,and other like personal


advantages, incontestablyshowing as they do that we
the law
It was
made
to be subject to the Saxon.
were

shouldei-3

our

of

O'Connell

Mr.

of

eloquent passages

some

his

heartiest

abhorrence.

class in Ireland, he

own

of oppression, invented
by
systematicmeans
the poor.
over
give them the tyrannicaldominion
a

belief

to

be wondered

at,

compassed

in criminal

defence
"

instead

of

nay,

cases,

"

the
Nor

rich
is

cognizant the
wiles by which
a conviction
of a legal
adroitness

considering how

peasant often is of all the schemes


is

regarded

the

and
very

the feints, the

suggesting admiration

quips, the
for those

gems,
strata-

barriers

the life and

which

by

engendered
It
and

times, when

He

"

was

of

out

his

to

"Ye

years
a

of

cheeks

and

that,

his life in it !

not

he

Of

It '11 be

my
and

ruin

the

grandfather
used

what

country round,
I

the

"

seed

never

"There

was

but

Mr.

Shinane

says
get rid of him in
extremities
:

come

cottage
where

they

was

the
were

him,

me

little

was

he

man

'

he

's

to

out, for he
of

chipping bark

to

time

come

dine

; but

him,

and

troublesome

place about

used

the

to

up
we

; but

'11 talk
two

miles

sometimes

nobody

Well,

his driver,

was

"

for him

; and

liked

by the
Cafferty by
; but

born

was

well,

was

me

to say,
'

I used

"

to

child !

Cafferty'shouldin',

about

good

own

rosy
country had

he used

all 'fore I
him

But

was.

with

man,

in the

glory !

knew

Grove?'1

the

shoots

one

was

life when

there, and

with

master

in

if I

as

I told him

that

'tis many
oncet, and owned

lease

it

for

afeerd

he ;
our

didn't

he

"

liked well, for

he

turnin' him

was

quiet,Mat,'

mumbling

n't,

strong, full

his sowl

mind

for

grandfather was

of

did

hard

all, if any

night of my
a
dispute

it every

then

everything on the property


hard
thing it is, he was well
all but
Maurice
by one
man,

is in my

name

hear

and

ye
known
a

sorra

thing

rest

to manage

considerin'

name.

he, knocking the ashes

Shinane,

coorse

was

of ye

"

in

tried,as they are

was

reflections,so

well

was

he

"

"

'cute

so

agitation; but

Mr.

built, and

stout

n't

each

breath.

own

one
"

; but

for

matter

increased

question.

pause.

now

ago

Irish law

over

luck."

said

some

in his

heerd

after

in

much.

so

wor

of

said I.
"

great part of Ennistymore, and

no

they

betther
"

his

I,

repeat my

never

he,

had

below

sunk

being

me,

said

prayer
what?"
asked

forced

roguish character

pipe as leisurelyas might be,

of

scrap
"For

hear

he 'd have

protected, only

confidence

grandfather

poor

happened to him?
hanged, acushla!

What

"

the

sigh, "Ay!

my

maybe

or

now,

of

are

subtletycould do
very long diatribe

219

TOWN."

subject

Cullinane, whose

that

said, with

moment,

the close of

lawyers

ould

craft and

where
at

was

libertyof

stronger conviction

ordeal

that

"LOWER

THE

IN

NIGHT

was

said,

bad
'

my

tenant

and

drive

him

Leave

chap,
don't

and

we

him

'11
to

ing
cottage, this mornto him.'
Now, the

off, in the woods,


in summer,

lived there.

when

220

It

remarked

by many
grandfather and

was

along, that

my
all the time,

words

said

thought, and
that they were

each

other.

fields

"This

about

clean

through

came

Shinane

Mr.

pass

that

morning,

Mr.

he

that

them,

tell

I 'm

myself,as
Well,

at

the

'The

Away

they

so

all went

dead

the

was

deep that

That

the

was

was

hands

top

speak

to

the

towld

he

said

his

of

the master

to

twelve

to

meet

yes,

and

more

I wanted

him

tell

knees

us

by

words

'

I 'm
in

be

to

seen

him

Cullinane.

n't well

was

grandfather running
speed, screeching out like
my

the

master's

cottage, and

there

kilt dead!'
upon
in the

eye

was

turned

dresser, pale and

all

covered

with

on

the floor

the

truth

"

grandfather,

my

trembling, and

blood.

'

did

How

said three or
four together; but
happen, Mat?'
' It 's better
ask nothing about
it ; it 's
muttered,
he HI

day
to-

Cafferty

him

Mat

The

the

to

skull,
body, with an axe buried deep
outside.
only the thick part of the iron was
dreadful
ing
sight! and, sure enough, after look-

every
the
on
leaning

and

time

same

people had they

the

workmen

murdered!

the corpse,

at
who

the

master's

mad,

high

'11 give, for I must

little before

that

for

you

to

asked

wood, and

by,

what

me

was

at

the

at

sellinga pig in Ennistymore, said

'

towards

in

were

the

quarrellin'with
'
sorry for that,'says Cafferty, for
good humor, and long life to him !
would
they see but
out, but what
token

they went

as

Shinane

o'clock, and

eleven

cottage ; and

the

at

the

CKEGAN.

people working in the


the childer that was
even
picking bark
with
talkingas if they were
very angry

lease.'

my

CON

least,so

at

quick, and

and

home

was

Be

'

butcher,

"

about

was

Cafferty,who
go

OF

CONFESSIONS

his
it

Cafferty
not

likely

'

arrested
on
night my grandfather was
picion
susand
brought to Ennis, where he was
lodged in jail;
witness
and
no
although there was
agin' him, nor anything
than
I
towld
the high words
between
more
them, the
ye,
axe
being my grandfather's,the blood on his clothes and
when
the people came
hands, and his dreadful confusion
up,
and
hard
all these went
so
against him,
particularlyas the
demned
good to make an example, that he was conjudge said it was
it was
he was
so
hanged on the next Saturday
; and
in front
of the jail!
"The

same

"

"

"

of

what

But

"All

he

bark

the

and

help, and
they were
where

was

"

'

4 '

'

We

and

he rushed

he

account

did he

give

he

beside

the

standing

was

heard

he

said, ' They 're stealingthe


leave us a hundredweight of it

it

the copse.

was

The
of

some

shouting grew
men
cryin' for

the

where
stopped running till he came
's the matter?
What
fellingtrees.
says
he came
and
breathless
as
;
up panting

never

'

'

men,

the

screeching ?

'

nothing,'says the men.


nothing ! did n't ye hear yells and

heerd

shout

he

into

thought

he

heerd

Ye

; what

that

they '11 not

at work

the

he make

221

TOWN."

"

the wood,

so

to

"LOWER

table, talking quietly,when

out

and

THE

tell was,

there ;

out
'

louder,

'

did

yell in

he,

defence

could

at

master

yet !

IN

circumstance

the

and

NIGHT

shouting

this minute?'
"

Sorra

'

bit,' says

other, for my

'

if there

as

Them

and

with

and
that

he

was

something

his

on

and

found

the

do

to

just as he said afterwards,

dreadful

back

tried

that

the

to

to

says

my

dead

on

the

him

it

him

turn

then

was

face, and

or

'

grandfather

his

up,

happen

and

cottage,

to lift him

was

the
over

he bloodied
his hands
way
That was
all he had to say,

of his clothes.
the

going
!'

lying

master

before

swear

fear

looking strangely at each


tween
agitated,and trembling, be-

cries, anyway

He

back, and

all the front

and

of

that he turned

in his skull.

axe

kind

terrible

was

men,

grandfather was

anger
'

the

sight of

Heaven

that

he

didn't

it!
"No

an

ould

of

the

matter!

him

they hanged

for

it!

Ay,

and

I have

trunk
in my
this minit, where
there 's a
newspaper
of a crayture going out
great discoorse about the wickedness

world

"

And

"

Sure,

wid

you
we

lie

his

on

think

he

know

it ! sure,

innocent?

was

Take

last breath

the

"

"

said I.

priest said

to my

father,
"

courage,'says he, your father is n't in a bad place.


If he 's in purgatory,'says he,
he 's not over
the broken
does
be, but in the meadows,
bridge, where the murderers
the stream
where
is shallow, and
stepping-stonesin it ! and
!
God
sorra
more
every stone costs ten masses
help us !
'

'

'

"

but

blood

uttered

in

is
a

dreadful

voice

of

thing !

fervent

"

And

with

this

reflection,

feeling,the hardy peasant

laid

222

CONFESSIONS

pipe;

hi.s

down

of Ins

reel

CKEGAN.

was

see,

kinsmau.

unhappy
became

what

"And

CON

by Ins muttering lips and


offeringup a prayer for the soul's

I could

and

that he

claspedhands,

OF

of

Cafferty?"

said

for,

after

he

him,

and

I,

he finished

as

devotions.

his

'T

"

place; some
Kerry

people did

trial, the

the

on

rightlyknown

never

was

he went

say

n't

like

his

mother's

unbroken

which

of

stillness
flickered

only

left

relations

down

the

in

the

of the

intervals,

at

contributed

"

and

deeply affecting;
story more
it,and canvassing within my mind
the

over

he

sleepersaround us ; the
night; the fast-expiringembers,

deep-drawn breathings

make

evidence

gave

!"

The

man's

of the condemned
all

it, were

belief ; but

all the

of

to

pondering

probabilities
I must

; nor,

side

the

on

aid

their

I sat

innocence

guiltor

convictions

my

the

own

narrator's

that very doubt


siderably.
heightened the interest confor Culliuane, his thoughts were
evidently

even

As

they lived, than


his imaginathat long pilgrimage of expiation,in which
tion
beyond the
pictured his poor relative still a wanderer

less with
with

to

grave.
The

incidents

the

of

the

characters

as

barely flickered,throwing from time to time


the sleepingfiguresaround
little jets of light upon
us, and
then leaving all in dark indistinctness.
My companion also,
fire

now

crouching down,
sleptor was lost

hid

within

his face

his

and

hands,

either

deep thought, and I alone of all the party


mind
left awake,
dwelling on the tale I had just
was
my
the place and the
heard, with a degree of interest to which
hour
strongly contributed.
I had

what

haste

seemed

too, which
the

crazy

thus, when

old

and

; and

woman

I could

eagerness.

once

accents

twice

or

sounded

again, while

of
I

the

window

open,

could
distinctly

and

catch

sound

of

hear

recognized
fancied

like

shufflingfootsteps still continued,


sash

the

my attention ; they
but passing to and

in its indistinctness

even

another, whose
The

time

some

attracted
heavily overhead
sluggish footsteps of age,

like the

of

for

been

moving
with

in

pain and

and

after
the old

I
an

heard

feet
were

fro

voice,

as

could

that
tect
de-

suffering.
the old

interval

hag's voice

shut

say-

224

footstep

slipped

stair,

the

on

CREGAN.

CON

01

CONFESSIONS

off

followed

and

shoes

my

her.

in

kept

acute

on\y

drawing
for

such

in

moments

in

fancy.

will

gesture,

followed

the

green

of

long

some

As

nigh

harshly,

"I'm

she

to

there
I

was

no

held

reaching
peeped

my
the
in.

for

of

light

she

as

and

rafters

the

and

door

and

the

entered

went,
tiles

were

on

masses

like

shadow

whining
but

croaked

coming!"

convey.

its

infancy,

ay,"

mere

ecstasy

and

weak

of

Ay,

I'm

open

voice
"

with
in

of

passed,

she

nodded

seeks

of

could

as

head,

heard

the

kind

it

noiseless

and

pleasure

her

mazes

step

shapes,

hair,

top,

coming,

for

roof,

the

the

the

was

of

and

manhood.

gleam

passing

the

there

gray

deep

for

pushed

hag,

walls,

she

faint

stealthy

ghastly

show

spectre.

too

with

with

it;

before
in

lost

condition

satisfied

never

fact

any

sense

mere

unearthly

too

this,

old

to

something

cry,

that
no

came

for

monest,
com-

preteruaturally

become
is

of

very

peculiar

that

becomes

straggling

and

reason

as,

mouldy

and

the

that

own

seemed

light

The

senses

effort

the

which

terror

my

the

inferences

front

and

more,

in

when

maladies

certain

the

been

effect

the

has

even

every,

resembles

It

occurrences.

in

of

significance

the

magnifying

had

night

that

invariably

that

tension

of

state

of

whole

the

throughout

mind

My

as

room,

the

hag,

she

said

by

which,

lay

perceived
both

ing
seem-

next

visible,

as

ceiling.
breath
door

as

as

it

lay

slowly
half

stole

ajar,

along,
crouched

and
down

then,
and

i^-*"

"

"

"

SCENE
ON

old
could

whole

the

see

habituated

as

sights, poverty
chair
such

table

nor

as

stood

dish,

and

food.

It

corner

miserable

by

supported

long

and

it

could

in

look

it

on

see

bed,
of

the

slow

with

upright

is, now;

placing
he

those

tottered

candle

the

on

resembling
now

another,

that

closely

extended

on

at

she

beside

the

the

it.
15

in

within

plank,

this

the

mind

bed, in such

like

perceived

of

small
bed.

aisy,"
a

the

looked

lay

man

limbs

old

the

setting the

yer

broken

one

outstretched

approached

make

rubbish,

only things

figure

and

cooking,

it till I had

was

Towards

steps, and,

it, and

floor

nor

corpse.

saucer,

that

stiffened

his

the

Not

for

on

such

to

among

confined

that

saw

utensils

were

straw

stones

before

potatoes

minutes
of

rough

few

darkness,

years

useless

as

away

the

certainly, well

seen

broken

which

the

earliest

had

few

some

candle

and

my

never

; a

bed

two

room

for

not

was

the

hearth.

little meat

thrown

cold

the

upon

from

there

was

usually

are

been

this

the

dissipated

of

like

LUCUBRATIONS

LAWRENCE."

light of

interior

had

MY

ST.

somewhat

had

carried

woman

"

THE

the

HEN

AND

'

woman

piece
"

of

There

said

position

she,
that

226

CONFESSIONS

The
the

sick

muscles

are

"

the

seemed

be

"To

I am;

sure

"

eyes met
wondrous

death-sweat, the rigid

the

staring eyeballsand

that 's it?


excitement

momentary

his

as

features

the

cried

he, in

voice

parted

**

Is that

to

which

of emotion.

perfect paroxysm

sure

ye

in the

whole

with

clammy

relaxed, and

lipsthere
it?

and

CREGAN.

round, and

his

over

came

Livid

CON

his face

turned

man

light,there

change.

OF

imparted strength.

Father

seen

Ned

bless

himself,

it

"

and

sprinkle it too ! said she.


the
He
"Oh,
heavenly
"

voice

added,

I can't say

it

it for me,

Say

"

and

stopped,
Molly !
say

"

in

it for me,

"

said the

he

"

?
"

"

Ned

arrah, 'tis likelyhe'd


the Tapageers on their rounds, and

when

he kem
Not
"

ago

hear

to

cried

not
my last words!
in a kind of shriek.

did

not

"

cried

it 's all
cried
to

seem

Molly,

to !

own

it's not,"

"No,
away,
The

to

whisht

maybe

here

come

nothing

night,
give him

at

to

he

was

take

to

"

he,

Whisht,
now

he

wouldn't

"

list of sins I have


"

hag,

"

Father

with

Molly

myself."

the blessed
candle!"
"Keep
your
eyes on
peevishly; " 'tis a quarter dollar it cost me."
he come,
"Wouldn't
did he say
Molly?
come

lower

Oh,

"

sion!
confesmy
'tis the black

"

the

"

hag.

is many

year

forgot."
the

have

dying

with

man,

for.

strength

wild

"When

here, standing beside

energy
wor

you

the bed."

old

hag laughed with a horrid sardonic laugh.


Don't
I can't
ah
I
don't, for the love of
say
can't
died away
in the
say it," cried he ; and the voice
"

"

"

"

"

effort.

"What

did

he

say to ye

when

he

kem?"

said

she, in

scoffingtone.
"He
that

was

the very
"

spoke

never

his

on

face !

Well,

am

said the woman,

palpable to
"

Where

word, but he pressed back

head, and

saw

the

deep

to

heal

cut

in

the

cloth

it,down

to

"

sure

with

it had
a

tone

time
of

mockery

this

before
that at

time,"

last became

the

dying man.
's Dan, Molly,

"

did

he

never

come

back

since?

"

bit; he said he'd

Sorra

"

back

come

"Oh,

me

"Then

hould

Faix,

"

the

hag,

going

and

I would

what

raisonable,

happened

said

terrible

blood

and

agone

it 's all known

a'ready."
!"

them, anyway

impiety added

you

"

peevish eagerness.

n't be remindin'

won't

why

"

long

he, with

where

sarcastic

whose

be

you

about

I'm

wanted

for

masses

of

never

fresh

said

to the

tortures

sinner.

dying
' '

the

flesh

"

I can't,"

Because

with

frightened the boy


your ravings."
niurther!
My own

won't

peace

"Because
"

house, and

"

why

your

of the

out

go

You

say in
murther

things you
clesart

it.

to

227

"SCENE."

the

"

Oh, dear !

"

all ;

Ned

that 's gone,

him

Oh, dear !

me

tell Father

to

and

instead

will

nobody

have

to

that suffered

man

"

wanted

to

come

me."
ye cry that loud, I'll leave you
know
already 'tis the spotted

"If

"They
the

would

Tapageers

burn

the

too," said the hag.


fever ye have, and

house

under

leave

me,"

ye, if I

to

was

go."
"Don't

Molly,

go,

don't

"

heart-rending anguish.
I don't

see

"Bring

the

cried, with

he

blessed

candle

nearer;

it well."

"You'll

less

see

of

'tis

it soon;

nigh out,"

said

she,

snuffingthe wick with her fingers.


The
stretched
his fleshless fingers
out
now
dying man
towards
the light,and
I could
see
by his lips that he was
praying. " They 're callingme now," cried he " Molly,"
"

and

his voice

hear

them?

of

him

Lie

"The
shrieked
"

into
A

'Tis

wild

the

full,

ye
Maurice
Cafferty,

Maurice

again,

"

don't

"

"

be

said

peace,"

at

she, rudely pushing

bed.

blessed

candle, where

's

the

candle?"

blessed

he.

out," said the hag

the saucer,

re-echoed
had

on

and

strong and

grew

it is

wantin'.'

down

back

sudden

There

Cafferty,
yer
"

"

and

and

all

fearful

through the

back
crept stealthily

; and

she

spoke,

the wick

fell

dark.

was

broke

cry
silent
to

as

my

house

from
; and

the

sick

it died

ere

place beside

man

my

and
away

companions.

228

CONFESSIONS

11

me

Did

ye hear

"I

OF

anything, or
1 heard

thought

the

CREGAN.

CON

I dreamin'

was

dreadful

most

"

said

scream,

Joe

to

like

"

drowniu'."

man
44

It

dream,

was

said

perhaps,"

I, shuddering

thought of what I had just witnessed, while


terrible anxiety for any sound
overhead
;
and
so
passed the long hours tillday-dawn.
Without
revealing to my companion the
had
house

with

knew

had

He

to, I told him

witness

been

fearful

malady,
for

terror

greater
decided

that

none

terrible

same

Irish

an

scene

in the

were

than

none

with
came

announcement

an

"

we

I listened
but

the

at

well

peasant.

departing; and, although day was


barelybreaking, he awoke the others, and a low whispering
conversation
ensued, in which I felt,or imagined, at least,
interested party. At last Joe, turning towards
that I was
an
at

once

said, " And

me,

There

'tis the

"

pause

bystanders,which
saying, '* Well, good
best thing you could do
the

that I had

saw

at

be with

luck
!

you;

"

Which

"

That

we

way
's the

Orleans

New

cross

do

my

bolt,and

with

at my

own

failure.

My

go

cealed
condifficulty

irritation was,

quickly said,
could

we

you

travel?

like to

easier,"said
into

over

we

the

"

said

admiration

don't

know

the

go to first."
"Take
the
I.

States, down

country.

steamer

for

my

well ! "

geography, which,

treal,
Mon-

Champlain

Lake

said Joe, with

to

'T is

an

need

down

to

the

undisguised
not

tell the

books
and
acquired from
maps.
"
I might travel
that
seeing
should think s0"" 8aid h

reader,
"

the way

know

You

be of

I, carelessly.

then twenty hours


to Albany, and
Whitehall, over
York."
Hudson
brings you to New
"

way,

"

puzzle,for

we'd

"Nothing

any

the

"

before

use

by

"

conclude, sufficiently
apparent, for Joe
're very sorry to part with you ; but if
We

any

broken

length was

overshot

annoyance

my
I

; if I

homeward

turn

'11call upon
the Governor-General,
tillI hear from
my friends."
of deliberation
seemed
to
; a moment

him

with

was

fall upon
old man

inclination,I 'd

my

If

yieldto necessity,I
remain

and

sir,what

you,

very
to follow

were

must

"

do you mean
to do !
"
question,"said I, that I cannot answer.

"The
I

on

all

was

it blindfold

"

dangerous ?

Is it

"

"There

some

are

white

fellows

such

rogues,
The saints

"

"

Look

with

meet

you
and

are

us

presarve

will

fellow

the

"

Ay,

safe

what

"And

would

questions, and

he

seemed

to

knows

the
the

ones,

"

"

and

the way

who

speak

can

and

who

Give

him

journey,
second.

expedition, and

you

'11

pleasant one."
"

get him?

we

Joe, with

; while

another

will

where

and

the

it?

do

ever

we

who

of

part

and

journey

"but

red

the

people, and

first

men.

"

for
is up to all the Yankee
roguery,
direct your
to guide and
full power

both

said the old man,

than

worse

How

smart

some

thoroughly understands
French
fluently,for the

have

"

Injians ?

too !

assassins

for

out

there

Are

very alive to the perilsof red


tribes on
the way," said I;

seemed

mind

whose

229

"SCENE."

cried

be

askin'

his

an

assenting nod,

for

expect that

one.

trouble?"
reiterated
from

answer

said
both

me.

ought to be easy enough in such a city as this," said


and
acquainted with Forbes
I, negligently. "Are
you
Gudgeon?
They could, I am sure,
They are my bankers.
"

It

find

out

your

at

man

once."
"

exclaimed
Joe, in an
nobody at all!
at my
of such humility that I actually felt shocked
accent
own
duplicity.
said I, as
though a sudden
thought had
"By Jove!"
make
struck me, " very littlewould
me
go with you myself."
the whole
A regular burst of joy from
party here interrupted
me.
"Yes, I'm quite in earnest," said I, with a dignified
air.
"This
to
me
place will be excessively distasteful
I have
henceforth.
placed myself in what is called a false
it at
position here, and 'twere far better to escape from

"Ah,

know

sir,we

once."
would

"That
Mr.

come,

"Let
should

only

me

"

the
"

making

Cregan ! said
interrupt you
you on
I would

accompany
which
upon

"Whatever
had

be

of

us,

all out, if ye

Joeone

this

moment,"

said

journey, there is

consent

to

I.

one

like; only say it,"said he, over


established
a speciesof magnetic influence.
that you treat me
It is this,then," said I,
on
"

"

forget my

birth and

"

If

condition

it."

you

perfect equality,

could

rank

whom

terms

of

in life ;

regard

230

OF

CONFESSIONS

of

one

"

'

"

11

"

then," said I,

Remember,

CREGAN.

yourselves. Let me be no longer anything


Con
but
Cregan.'
That's
mighty handsome, entirely! said the old man,
in by the whole
concurred
sentiment
family in chorus.

exactly as

me

CON

'

Con

nothing

"

looked

Joe

I should
has

here, after what


have

trunks

my

ask

of

bear

be

to

further

their

luggage

Montreal

Steamer

where
the

am

to my
go back
I '11 write a few

occurred
to
a

me

to

; so

lodgings
lines

Montreal, until which

change of costume,

time

for I

to

I '11

cannot

dress

by daylight."
please!" said Joe,

you

joyed
over-

projected arrangement.

some

After

wish

not

whatever

sure;

the

at

the condescension.

in this absurd

seen

be

To

44

Oregon.'

Mr.

delightat

forwarded

to procure

you

'

more

"

unutterable

Secondly,

44

more

"no

discussion
was

the

on

stored, and
Wharf, where

subject, I inquired

learned
it had

that
been

it

lay at
deposited

preceding day ; and by a bill of the packets, which Joe


that she was
to sail that very morning, at
produced, I saw
There
then no time to lose ; so I advised
was
eight o'clock.
silentlyand noiselesslyfrom the
companions to move
my
With
an
house, and to follow me.
implicitreliance on every
direction
I uttered, they stole carefullydown
the stairs and
issued into the street, which
was
now
perfectlydeserted.
I stepped out
Although in total ignorance of the locality,
confidently; and first making for the Harbor, as a 44 point
the 44 New
of departure," I at last reached
Wharf," as the
the

station
most
for

of the river steamers

their
the

passage
ridicule

conversation

good
It

fortune
was

luggage

a
on

carried

was

in wonder

stared

my
that had thrown

them

an

air of the

office to
not

my

bargain
sparing of

costume,

as

my companions
in silent ecstasy at the

French,

into such

guidance.
busy morning for me ; since besides getting their
and
board
procuring them a hearty breakfast, I

also to arrange
felt reallyashamed

the

in

on

fluency,and

at

had

At

With

effrontery,I entered the


although the clerks were
; and
both
on
pretensions and
my

consummate
our

called.

was

length

we

about

my

costume,

own

of

which

now

at

every step.
got under way, and

fast-flowingSt.

Lawrence

our

steamed
decks

stoutly against
crowded

with

1"32

CONFESSIONS

OF

CON

CREGAN.

man's

experiencepointed to anything save rainy seasons


and
Life
and wet potatoes, cheap bacon
high county cess.
had its one
phase of monotonous
want, only broken in upon
of a
by the momentary orgieof an election,or the excitement
No

town

county
And

the

over

it

so

memories

little care

had

execution.

an

the nor'-easter

all the

came

They

for

followed

that

of

even

strange objects around

and

new

Like

was.

seas,

behind.

Saturday of

the

on

them

they had left


passing look at the
The
giant cedar-

what

them.

the immense
rafts, like floating
along the banks,
islands,hurrying past on the foaming current, with myriads
the endless
forests of dark
of figures moving on
them,
pines, the quaint log-houses,unlike those farther north, and
and
with more
pretensionto architectural design, and now
"bateau"
then a Canadian
shooting past like a sword-fish,
with a wild cheer
its red-capped crew
salutingthe steamer
mile
if they
wake
the echoes
that
would
a
:
away
many
but
looked at these, it was
easy to see that they noted them
far away.
Ay, in spite of
indifferently
; their hearts were
flood, they were
famine, and
misery, and hardship, and
in the wilds of Erris, in the bleak plains of Donegal,
away
the lonelyglens of Connemara.
or

trees

"

"

"

It

the
One

name

of
that

antidote

our

rulers

should

Irish localities in

of

names

that

me

the

have

perpetuated
World.

New

the
experienced the feeling himself to know
The
this simple association.
hourly recurring
speaks so familiarlyof home, is a powerful

have

must

charm

struck

often

has

the

to

sense

banishment.

of

Well, here

emigrants,and their regrets,and wants,


wishes, and forgettingthe while the worthy

prosing about
hopes, and
who,
group
fashion each
savory

cut

with
mess

of

hot

"net"

is allowed

ham,

awaited

good and kindly


they were
fine
old grandfather was
a

of

to boil

my
souls

am,

and
little

potatoes (for in this

quota)

its

presence

every
old
prosy

one

and

in the
of

very

steerage;

them.

The

grumbler about the


'98 and
the terrible doings of
the "Orangemen."
year
fair
fellow that only wanted
Joe was
a stoat-hearted,frank
The
his path steadilyonward.
play in the world to make
in Irish parlance, "good
sons
boys," and the girls
were,
as
ninety-nineout of the
fine-temperedand good-natured,
from.
in the land they come
hundred
are
"

LUCUBRATIONS

"MY

forfeit

shall I

Now,

ON

not

was

by

been

always

bound

pieces

"

in

Cullinanes

the

listened
that

him

after

in

the

to in

"

I felt

It

can

cultivated

hour

of

Spa, where,
he is to

In

reader
the

the

tenses, had

and

the

to 'be

was

strange,

travelled

we

and

nauseous

store

of

people

distasteful
knows

at

how

had

one

tion
sensa-

queer

the

already !
as

Heaven

up

'

"

Cullinanes

my

tude
apti-

an

along day by

remember

bored

'

already

debate

shriek

of

hit upon

one

the

exclaimed,
gentleman

"

From

take
the

that
course

time, one

many

years

I have

told

of

vigor.

singularsensations

influence

moods

day. Listening to
menting
hearing the butler com-

now

chapter of these

former

"

and

health

even

me

Con, you are


yet ; you have learned
"

future

not

morning when I had


feelings,and, jumping up,
my
progressing,my boy ; you '11be

analysisof

fancies

that I had

over

as

me

over

me.

every

like

the House."

ecstasy that escaped

found

was

to

discrimination, and

hall

day together,and
true

of

servants'

coming

others

father's cabin, and I am


my
elder Cregan had a sagacity

that the

perception,a shrewdness
of expression not to be

of

tion
considera-

many
inexpressibly tiresome

soon

acknowledge

to

reader's

excellences,and

they spoke on
grievances,in all their

stock

"

233

LAWRENCE."

kind

theme

Irish

heart.

ST.

my

all these

besides, they became


There

of

some

that, with

if I say

THE

port wine

Confessions

experienced when

how

kind

of

the

first under

usion,

transf

it

as

principles,a respect for order, a love


to see
of decorum,
a sleepy indisposition
fusion
anything like conall
I
take it,are
feelingswhich,
going on about me,
eminently gentleman-like. Well, this fastidious weariness
of the Cullinanes
round
of the
was
evidently the "second
"
ladder."
It is a grand thing to be able to look down
upon
!
I do not mean
this in any invidious
or
unworthy
any one
of depreciating others, but
for the sake
sense
purely
; not
were,

of

Conservative

"

"

for

of one's

sake

the

that the secret


"

To
can

pass
is called
every
while

when
"

effort

make
of

self-esteem.

own

of superiorityis

conviction
hold

like, and

race,"

whip and

you, well down

"

stride

your

you

I would

is

beside

an

but

amazingly

intellect that

yet merely accompany


rare

spur,

in your

fun ; to

see

the

never

you

to what

other

bustling,shaking, and
saddle,

convey
rating.
exhila-

using
lifting,

put the rowel

to

234

CONFESSIONS

the Hank

to talk forever

incidents

written

had

of

an

for

from
In

Mrs.

Davis,

few

lines I

the

I said
packet-office,
in

character

of her, in consequence,
charitable office she
to any

that my
establishment

her
I had

which

wager,

just

won

to devote

begged
me

is

glorioussport! In
intolerable
degree of

very civil note


and my purse.

the

servant's

undertaken

been

my
her from

to

is indeed

there

trunk

accompanying

CREGAN.

daily association of people who are satislied


of the same
terms.
things in the same
of our
few and uninteresting.
journey were

I received

Montreal

At

CON

this

"

this, however,

in the

lassitude

The

fancy,

""f your

for

return

OP

the wages
think fit,
and

should

formance
per-

had
that I

owing to
kindly to

effects to Montreal, together with a certificate,


my
real rank
under
her hand, that my
and
station had never
detected
been
during my stay in her house : this document
forward

being necessary
Davis's

Mrs.

replywas

place. She did not know


for having subjected me
struck

manner

and

material
the

for

saving of

Junius, her

address."

In

"

herself, and
To

this

me,

It

Before
a

I
we

kind
The

party.

the America
and

on

the lakes"
for

to

board
"

asking.

small

old
of

refused

with

his
move

where
a

very

on

grown
as

farther.

Peggy

vague

and

indeed

traits of

D., what

with

my
the

in

it is

human

the steamer,
a

certain

had

proverbiallysaid to
of delightwith
perfectparoxysm

the

hopes

of

story, the surprise,and

race.

; it was

passport which,
"visa"

of

what

off

The
who

patent of
issued

witness

one

to

by
my

credentials.

should

we

leave

treal,
Mon-

show

itself among
our
travelling,and seeing

sick of
far

if not

require many

day
mutiny began to

man,

She

Mrs.

the

read

or

for I suspect that, like the Duke

decided

heard

duties.

"

the stuff to

not

had
of

least

at

was

was

that I

Cregans of that
ever
forgive herself

could

precious document

Pike

the

fact,poor

whole

the

was

gentilityat once.
authority,had
rank, and

in

was

"

had

were

gossip suggested by
the wages
charity ended

She

she

not?

had

begin, at home,
me,

"

menial

to

Captain

bet.

our

we

how

who

as

"

friend

gem.

did n't suspect

Conacre, but

been

my
of

conditions

fulfilled the

had

convince

to

as

ever,
had

sons

assured

became
made

them

restive,

ances
acquaint-

that

about

land was
to be had
geography
had picked up sweethearts,
Susan
"

"

and

MY

LUCUBRATIONS

wanted

these

ON

failed
As

in.
for

me,

that

saw

in

myself, and

partisan; and,

instrument

There

was

I should

no

station.

would

with
of the poor
"Robinson

conviction

that

play upon,
undeceiving them as
to

fidence
con-

the world

other.

clayor

one

to

real

my

was

rank

and

reason

leave

the

wharf

have

said

an

that

other

the

that

sale of

ere

We

laugh
that

him

ten

he

when

his

short

the old
has

son

this, and

we

generosity is

assistance;
refuses

only
forced

themselves

in the
money,

is without
and
do

for

upon

of

"Roast
me

first to

wardrobe

to

as

waiter,

I resolved

States, in

my

no

lars
thirty dol-

sum

store

of

order

riences,
expe-

play who, on
immediately

funds.

in like

those

in

him

to

We

ing
hearoffers
starve

laugh

at

it is cisely
precircumstances.
All

extravagant

dinners, while

tune

the

for all those

reserved

like

obstinatelyleaves

he

all its denials

the

and

career.

of

the world

half-a-dozen

knows

who

it absurd

see

this

for

"

the

was

with

increase

fixed

want

no

that

deem

we

what

and

gentleman

pistoles,but
discovers

she

ing
hav-

girlsditto,

steamer,

Queenstown

of Canada

tour

adopted any

at

at

; and

more

notions

few

that

the

part of my

to reside

gentleman about
young
"
much
realized " me
as

making
pick up a

kissed

over,

except

solace

Orleans,

New

morning.
possessed something

advantageous

upon

at

"Kingston"

know,

that

address

twice

this

leave-taking,and

cordial

men

board

so,

fiction,I left them

father's

the

on

remembering the story


having learned that
got over

most

my

with

; and

never

was

after

down

stepped

who

Crusoe"

hands

gentleman

alderman

written
shook

the

of

unalloyed, and

its

proud for this,


thirtydollars,

too

pleasantest incidents of their lives


panionship
be, in all probability,their having travelled in com-

and

One

depend

possessed some
unbounded
either,the most

learn

in

use

would

firm

influence

own

my

good kit, but, better than

to

Joe, pulled in

poor

directions, gave himself up to a little interregnum


drink, hoping that rum
reason
might decide what

making myself a
upon
my
I determined
to leave them.

an

235

LAWRENCE."

various
of

; and

westward

journey

to

ST.

THE

who

; but

do

need.

the

Beef."

by observing

not

"My

require
Lord"

devil author
poor
These
reflections
that

as

travelled

236

CONFESSIONS

along, apparently in
made

were

would

means,

fellow-travellers
enlisted

have

me

hundred

offers

situations

of

his partner in

us

and

very

"

vocation

would

to have

seem

picked up

I even

of

piece of peripateticism, viz., knife-grinding; a


for which, after a few efforts on
board
the Bteamer,

lucrative

Nature

CREGAN

con

want

no

l"y my

me

places: one

OF

destined

for

me,

assured

was

the

sharp-knowing cock of the eye required


to examine
the edge, and the styleof my
pedal-action drew
down
rounds
I did not like it. The endless
of applause : still,
seemed
a
step which slipped from beneath
tramp upon
you
to emblematize
that led to nothing ; while an
a
career
pleasant
unassociation

completed

opened
his

shopman at
by way
me,
whose

distaste

my

Another

with

of

to

what

for

it.

me

the

"store,"

I had

I should

of

the

wares

cottons

pattern. But

this

my
if you

I muttered

not

was

Con!

"No,

into

meddle

with

muslin, wait

over

ginghams,

were

taffetas,and

of every hue and


walk either ; and
so

of

showed

even

brilliant

There

preside.

treadmill

prospect

and

Rochester,

near

of

ambitious

more

temptation, some

fortunes

heard

no,

to

and

I felt

myself :

till it's fashioned

petticoat."
from
a barber
My next proposition came
reallyif I
; and
did not take to the pole and
I was
flattered at
basin, I own
his praisesof my
skill.
He
as
pronounced my brush-hand
while
steel
something bold and masterly as Rubens',
my
brilliant than bloodless.
manipulation was more
Then
there was
of pama Jew
spectacle-maker,a hawker
phlets,
a

"

Indian

an

various

whatever

walks,

"

moccasin
all of whom

it

might be, was


faculties.
Once
only

my
the editor of the
who

offered

into the

to

merchant,
seemed

into

me

twenty other

opine that

of

their craft,

exactly the very line adapted to


I really tempted : it was
was
by

Kingston newspaper,
take

to

and

"

The

his office,and

Ontario
in time

Herald,"
induct

me

of

paragraph-writing. I did, I own,


feel a strong inclination for that free and
independent kind of
criticism,which, although issuing from a garret, and by the
dip," does not scruple to remind
lightof a
royalty how to
lessons in
comport itself,and gives kings and kaisers smart
dwrelt on
all these
good-breeding. For a time, my mind
gentle pastime

"

delights

with

ardor

but

soon

felt that

he

who

acts

life

LUCUBRATIONS

"MY

has

that

it, and

even

is his stage, than


"I'll

thence

away
where

Niagara,

to follow

me

vibration

make

to

memory
difficult.
From

the

this

but

to

every

into
the

Coming

that

so

view.

sea

the

my

measurement

height of
and

I '11 neither

In

women.

checkered
love

to

that

flows

ever

sought

of

wardrobe
that I

found
and

aud

for

with

my

the

life is the

thoughts

heart,

are

objects

far

said I

nor

about
in

feet

with

are

travel.

of

be

not

view

men

The

geography

with

more

was

strange

description

whose

the

myself

Do

any
land

business

map

with

than

When

sea.

my
real

fate

travellingpresent,

Orleans.

in

"

so

three

shared

the varied

inflict you

human

the

the

about

after

was

"

it

York, thence

hear
a word
company
you '11 never
of
of a cathedral, or the number

study, and
from

New

to

of New
not

the

by Schenectady,

of continual

steeple. My care
They are to me
board

States

my

with

associates

effort to describe

any

It

even

ing
watch-

and

Rock,

after

from

by the appearance
afraid, worthy reader; you're
of localities.

floatingsurf, and
all conspire
side, which

the

struck

was

roads

the

Hudson

weeks

many

these

self-consciousness,brought

iEsop's bread-basket,

Orleans.

panorama
I

on

down

Albany,

dissimilar
New

at

air

wandered

of

any

Table

spray,

names?
why recite mere
travelling,
during which

months'
not

the

of

that ever
up a sensation
of that scene,
and leaves

Utica, and
"

of

suggestive

Kingston to Fort George,


amused
myself agreeably for a

sittingall day long upon


the Falls in a dreamy kind
by the din, the crash, the

that

the world

nothing within, no

week,

on

writes

merely

from

journeyed

to

who

the best critic.


"

so

him

over

237

LAWRENCE."

ST

performer is better, when

poor

wait," thought I,
conscience, urged

from

and

THE

incomparable advantage

an

push

ON

the stream

grandest
struck

river
with

that

New

population. Never
fellows
of bold, daring, reckless
did I behold
such
a
mass
the
The
as
fiery Frenchman,
swaggered on
every side.
the dark-browed
Spaniard, the
determined-looking Yankee,
Orleans, it was

then

Camanche

the

and

Cuban,

the air of

with

half-caste, the Mulatto,


and

Negro,

the

seemed

picked specimens

The

least acute

its

of

the

Creole,

of

observers

their

were

the

all

Texan,

the

here, and

all

race.

could

not

fail to

see

that

it

238
land

was

hand

where

were

scenes

needful

other

of

rank.

often

so

are

inhabitants,were

and

grade

cities

Every

armed

went

one

occurred, showed

the

; the

precaution a

one.

look

wide-awake

The

here

met

you
in company

were

at

the Yankee

of

with

contrasted

when
that

in

class

every
which

among

strong
personal
left altogether to the
here in frequent use

that

lowest

very

CHEUAN.

CON

quick eye, a steady foot, and


requisites of every-day life. The

encounters

you

OF

CONFESSIONS

the

intense

step, and

every
where

ence
sleepy indiffer-

was

keenness

of

felt at

you
faculties

all your

aspect
that

once

would

be few

enough for self -protection. This, my first impressionof the


Whatever
people,each day's experience served to confirm.
throw
and
little veils of shame
their
over
delicacy men
free to confess, they
sharp practiceselsewhere, here, I am
in wickedfree trade
ness.
a
despised such hypocrisy. It was
fair."
of life " cheatingwas
In their game
Now, this
in nowise
suited me
that all the
saw
nor
plans. I soon
my
would
astuteness
be submerged in the
finer traits of my own
of

great

ocean

upon

taking my

in

resolve

the

the

whereto

yet

were

"

Cliff Street

times, and

of

for

the reward
There
any
I found
me

made
and

me
so

was

to

be

one

remembered

then
the

Black

little

it

resolved

feel that
near

even

the

"

had

the

couple

journal in which

been

offered.
in this to

to

or

"

where

over

give

total isolation in which

speak
Picayune

the window

and

knows,

Heaven

enough,

it," Office of the

on

the

was

Boatswain

interest in the paper ; but


myself, without one to

I drew

soon

very

"

'

important items
solved, and I was
trotting
my
eyes rested suddenly

two

"

day, when
the great board, with large letters
upon
I repeated the word
over
Picayune.'
along

and

me,

departure.

and

how

The

around

roguery

coarse

was

an

converse

with,

acquaintance;

considerable

number

of the paper, which,


reading the last number
spiritof generosity,was
exposed within the
glass to public gaze.
Mingling with these, but not near enough to read for myself,
I could
hear
the topics that were
discussed, among
the
revolvers,
at
which
row
a
Congress, a duel with
the
steam
Mississippi,and a few smart
a
explosion on
instances
of Lynch-law figured.

of persons
were
in a laudable

iMO

OF

CONFBS8ION8

and

li.ms;
who

were

they

with

not

likely to

and

straightway opened

could

compass

down

to

the

Alas

of

hope
if

as

sages

journey appear,

in my

bargain

fancy
had

they

I knocked

would

boots

in fact, I

"

the

theme

so

long

that

like

my
to

ascending

for

me

to

how

there,

came

cannot

say

cold, and

my

benumbed

and

I had

ever

ask

"

the

to

or

bed, but

held

me,

to

itself.

was

journey,

only

to

waking,
prevented
her

in

my

hands,

spent in that

long I had

limbs

only know
temples hot,

that

my

and

that

swollen, my

heart

beat

while

faster

hand

myself sitting

found

over

rove

kept waving

Fortune

newspaper

before

back, and

me

day broke,

how

to

sleep and

between

state

which

got

rivulet.

I went
a

immense

an

this

upon

excited

opening
opposed

career

undertaking

the

this, I

were

my
and

"

though

attitude, I

excessively
hands

were

fuller than

felt it before.
for

"Now

chair

with

ick's
Freder-

all

I dwelt

and

fevered

obstacle

When

follow.

old

that

yet, with

and

powers.

tiny hand
on

prices

to

my

great

from

path

and

of heroes

purchase my equipment,
compassed the "bowie-knife," it

grew
a

some

window,

my

hopeless did
imaginable good
every
and gaitold waistcoats
ers

at

fetched

of

of mind

that

imagine

been

more

vestments

shoes

if I

fancies, and, in

rude

of

possessed some
greater portion had

honored

crossing

of

of

sufficient

was

frame

me

at

my

that

trouble

this

In

down

deterred

man

the

by

the

petty, miserable

one
a

been

that

here

dwindled

had

I still

I made

disposed

full extent

be

which

sum

saw

would

believe

There

pleased me,
I
myself how

money

it, the

over

"

n't have

of

short

fell far

thought

more

with

of

the

wardrobe,

one

of.

disposed

! the

My stock
although

was

of adventure.

consultation

; and

dollars

There

thought which

very

object.

articles of my

since

long

the

four

best

my

in the

loving wildness

that

bowie-knives, showed

itsmacked

"

ones,"

go-ahead

"

to

missionaries.

be

it,

clause about

wonderful
a

rifles and

t"" come

were

was

being addressed

whole

the

CREGAN.

('t"N

the

though
road."

'Picayune,'"
never

may

make

said
the

I, starting from

journey,

at least

my
I '11

\\

ORDINARY

THE

"

AKING

consisted

hall

of

devils, and

others

discussing

the

the

knocked

and

house,

which

printers'
Picayune," all eagerly
reporters,

"

day, I reached
timidly twice,

the

of

news

having

office,where,

in

interested

difficulty through

the

purchasers, newsvenders,

of

NATIONS."

ALL

with

way

my

filled the

which

crowd

the

OF

back

small

desired

was

to

enter.

seated

man

side

urchins

ragged
at

up
"

'

me

him,

of

as

have

"

Upstairs,
with

on

I
that

his

were

No.

in

3,

by

graphs
para-

them

threw
two

at

three

or

him.

looked

He

I wanted.

what

your

out

headed,

paper,

"

"

two-pair back,"

said

he, and

went

but

seeing

labor.

hesitated, hoping

he

he

intended

had

he

as

asked

roughly

'

Texas

"

which,

advertisement

an

cutting

was

eagerly caught up
in waiting behind

were

entered, and

to

table

newspapers,

who

seen

Expedition

deal

coarse

various

from

either

at

said

all he

might

add
or

was

something
likelyto

say,

slowly

withdrew.

"Upstairs,
myself,
VOL.

and
i.

"

then,

mounted,
16

"

No.
with

3,
the

"

two-pair back,"
very

vaguest notions

said
of

to

what

242

OF

CONFB88IONS

business

when

I had

got there.

finding the place ; many


the

time

same

about

others

forty men

with

in

came

is

lotterydrawn?

"

Ay,

every

ticket,except

"

Who's

"

Tell

said
for

You

with

man

of

Well, she broke


red

the

And

luck

of
"

the

for

one

tremendous

same

It ain't me,

Various
anecdotes
came

began

and

was

and

seventy

neck, for all that," growled


see

that

chap

some

she '11be sold for

he

out

will win
trifle."

"

anyhow,"
four

of

said

fitted

been

and

years,

my

and

red cravat;

I 've

"

it,Dick?

discussions
of

hundred

two

"

never

putter in

at

these

anything

won

said another,

rifle-bore, and

then, with

but

laughing.

fired 'em

away

scarce."

all

stories of
to

man

became

lead

hundred

five

"

"What

when

Lord,

to
Galveston, grub and
passage
"an
almighty sight
ticket,"said another,

rosary."
beads

"

"

beast, and

oath, added

The

's worth

she

Why,

jeering.

free

blessed

"

"

"you'll

lotteries for

Texas

his

want

there 's

liquor,in

neckcloth;

her that don't


"

two."

or

said another,

gave a mustang
cried another.

her,"

"

one

"

you?

soft

for

who

'em."

would, would

"Butcher

of those

one

if it ain't among
those numbers,"
"
I '11 give fiftydollars
and
eye,

one

you 've grown


dollars, that 'ere beast
how

together.

"

mare?

whipped

I'm

of

tones

asked

in knots

stood

know."

to

one

it at

can," said a huge fellow, with a red


his throat; "that's
exactly what

that if you
round
comforter
us

pale

"

Butcher's

won

in
difficulty

over," said another.

is the

"Well,

"

to-day?

And

want

no

hastening towards

were

confidential

and

"

we

was

me.

"Business

worsted

There

assembled, who

were

talking in low
groups,
"
Is there a committee

or

CRKGAN.

half-dozen
with some
and, in company
very
I
clad
entered
a
fellows,
large room,
meanly

ill-favored and
where

CON

kinds
Texan

perceivewere

followed

about

luck

and

lotteries, with

winners
; then
respecting fortunate
times, which I
expeditions in former
little else than speculationsof a gam-

"THE

ORDINARY

OF

bling kind, rarely intended

to

farther

go

243

NATIONS."

ALL

than

the

of

quay

Orleans.

New
On

had

expedition
others

I waited

the

who

time

that

at

Some

planned.

follow

learn

to

mare,

been

to

were

waited

it would

present occasion, however,

the

the

was

after

day

very

had

fortunate

for

real

already sailed,
lottery,and only

winner

Galveston

waiting at

the

seem

Butcher's

of

an

owner.

in

hope of acquiring something like


an
insight into the scope of the enterprise, but in vain ;
not a single
indeed, it was
easy to see that, of the company,
When
to join the expedition.
one, in all likelihood, intended

long time,

I left the
when

I entered

taken

the

in which

doubtless

the

I could

of

wait

fair groom,

the

I had

well
"

this
such

as

Ah

"

object, and
notion, I could
as

little,

"

"

to

interpret
wandered

that

up

chance

it did
the

so

was

many

slightest pretext

of

much

services

my

I had

to

tolerably

learned

on

qualificationsfailed,

my

knows

who

objection

not

I went,

own

moment,

laid

the

accept

wherever

supplied the place almost


how

to travel !

are

many

'

"

passing at
joy to find
out, wages

Possessed

with

this

help fancyiug that in every look that met


read
could
something like an inquiry,a

searching glance that seemed


Con?
As
I live,there 's Con
fortune

Dudley's yacht

leap with
very hearts would
'
I am,
accustomed
to in-door and

no

reading

article."

"real

as

no

mine

of

course

whose

fellow

in

readilyfilled

had

on

had

scheme

ignorant of horses,

not

was

thought I,

moment
a

that

ingenuitythat

witted

the

mind

My

would

besides,

Sir

than

quantity of enterprise and vicissitude.


I asked
likelythat any
myself if it were

cook

yacht

ready

this.
fancies

could

The

board

on

adventurers

them.

upon

the whole

ignorant.

was

of

any
times

Texan

little wiser

imagination,which

indulged

reason

call up

board

but

was

somehow

yet

my

adventurous

these

as

had

hundred

on

of what

details

texts

it ; and

hold

fast

for

Picayune," therefore,

"

upon

require

him
a

to

Cregan
at

this

vivid

expressions

"Bless

say,

and

which

What

to

by

Jew

juncture !
met

ain't

rare

my

that

piece of

"

imagination

warm

seeing that the part of the town


that adjoining to the docks,
was

resorted
quarter, chiefly

me!

at
eyes
into which

so

to

every
I

had

gloomy
filthy,
slop-sellers,
ship-chandlers,
"

CONFESSIONS

244

And

kept by

usually
had

there

nothing that day, and

eaten

afternoon,

ckkuan.

that it

so

with

was

sailors'

ordinary,

half-breed.

or

negro

con

and

here

like, with

such

of

very

it

was

late in the

now

strong interest I peeped

occasionallyinto the little dens, where, under a paper lantern


"
All for Twelve
with the inscription,
Cents," sat a company,
fare harmonized
whose
most
usuallyof sailors and watermen,
unpleasantly with their features.
and
his exchequer is
between
taste
The
combat
a man's
when
it concerns
dinner.
To
less agreeable than
a
never
feel that

you

descend

to

have
mashed

condemned

to

indignityis

that !

The
a

excursions

fancy

In

case

you

one

meal
which
eat

is

what

discursive

freedom

coral

the

breaking surf !

"

well-served

does

reefs,

East, bearing on

and

that

"

table

of

no

elevates

; in

grander

the

other,
With

imagination range from the


ery
preludes your soup, to pearl fishwith moonlight sleeping on
the

your soup, be it turtle or


is it with
the West
Indies

its aromatic

of

vapor

thousands

elephants, emeralds, and

rajahs, tigers,punkahs,

the

of

and

gatawny,
mullior

the

speculative

about

themes

in.

exalts.

slavery,pepper-pots,
sugar and
pickaninnies, and the Bishop of Barbadoes
;
reflections

an

it is

"

and

must

suggestive
abounds

the field,

more

feel,

You

those

must

that

then

And

associated

how

know

to

at it !

by

like the beast

oysters that

little plate of

revolts

man

is unrelieved

poetry interwoven

there

and

whole

supporting nature,

of

question

herrings;

"

of

the

and

and yet
truffles,

appreciating a salmi des perdreaux


the
indignity of stock fish, what

such

that

besides,

turtle and

potatoes

of

palate capable
be

soul for

straw
or

the

the Indus,

hats,
still
with

the

Punjaub!
And
so
you proceed, dreamily following out in fancy the
hints each
course
supplies,and roving with your cutlets to
"cattle
thousand
the
a
hills,"or dallying with the
upon

dessert

to

love

the

orange-groves

all this.

The

of

Zante

or

of

Sicily.
Bordeaux

brings
of my
the dry muscat
back
the Rhone,
as
Johannisberg
pictures the vine-clad cliffs of the Vaterland, with a long
and
the Holy
Metternich
diminuendo
train of thought about
Vienna
Madame
Alliance
the unlucky treaty of '15
I do

bouquet

my

"

"

Schrader

"

and

Castelli.

"

"THE

And
with

ORDINARY

OF

pleasantlyand

how

the port to

nationallydoes one
ancient
ally,Portugal,"

"

our

painted

Torres

Black

and

of
panorama
Horse
Square

and

246

NATIONS."

ALL

Vedras
the

and

Tagus,

the

the

with

mind-

Douro,

"the

"

back

come

with

"

Duke"

ever

flittingacross
glass
making
scene,
lips a heartfelt "long life to him!
carry to your
you
Alas
and alas ! such prandial delightswere
not for me
; I
anon

and

each

"

for

dine

must

twelve

entertainment
the

Lent
The

announced
of

rest

the

week.
which

temptation to

Ladies

by accepting the brilliant


yonder, price half-a-dollar,keep

cents, or,

Gentlemen's

and

I allude

Thumbo-rig

Ordinary of all
o'clock precisely.
Mint

"

The

If there

Palamede

was

small

it seemed,
intelligible,

adage, only

rig"

above

bow-window,
with
sirloins,

I stood

assaults

female
an

inch

made

of rum,

and
on

figure
or

jaunty air
well-turned

principleof

inducement.

either

The

of

perfectly

not

the

well-known

The

"Thumbo-

potation

new

unknown

promised

new

territory,there

was

the

or

advertisement

house, too, had


well.

There

was

to

tentious
pre-

large

and
while

onions, fresh crabs, cheese, salt cod,

preserved ginger made

As

directs the Ceremonies.

remainder

it that

Ball.

displaying a perfect landscape of rounds


tasteful drapery of sausages
overhead
a
;

fragrant odor

and

the

temptation.

strong

air about

the

upon

heighten
might mean

Nations

in the aforesaid

phrase

quite sufficient in the


prove

"

de Rosanne

to

and

julep

"

"Half-dollar."

Still,conceding this

dance.

Grand

At

Monsieur

thus

ran

the

sniffed, my

eye, nose,
the
crossed

very air ambrosial.


resolution staggered under

the

and

palate,a very smartly-dressed


holding up her dress full
way,

higher than even


displayed a pair of
legs. I believe

so

"

the mud
very
I 'm

required, and

with

pink stockings on
not

sure,

but

I fear

very
"

the

pink stockings completed what the pickled beef began. I


entered.
at the bar, and
Having paid my money
given up

246

OF

CONFESSIONS

CON

CIIEGAN.

and

ushered
greatcoat, I was
by
in a striped jacket and
trousers, as
ruled with red ink, into a large room,
where
hat
my
dressed

both

of

company

standing, but

sexes

all

it

men,

was

There

was

were

numerous

confusion

of

the

chieflyin

the

strong majority of

Ordinary had

that

day. The
"shipping
and

mates

small

world-made

The

repute.

ladies

condescending in their manners,


very
overdressed, and for the most
part French.
I knew

should

fat
very
her black

sit,and

Monsieur
The

dip

whom

man,

commercial

seasoned

greatest good-humor and

of

Personal

smartness.

recounter,
felt

of

of

ashamed

contributed

an

This

upon

by
was

most

preyed

who

persons
to be

by

made
was

in

me

the

their

really,if

the

credited, began

as

more

own

world

and
no

the candor

share
sea,

"

scruple
of the

length I really
not
having even

at

of

the

company.
surrounded

myself
unimpeachable evidence
in ways
and shapes the
saw

Not

uncommon.

small

the slave-trade.

"

for

benefit

the

for

the whole

made

ebony,"

deficiency in

of the easy,

no

land

who

men

all sides, until

on

own
my
anecdote

singular and

heard

"

by

life,that told much

heard

were

to

adventures

of the latter recounted


many
of confessing that they " dealt
Little incidents

social,

matters

the

have

easiest

the conversation

taking in all,from
with

where

would
soon

were

between

place

the

himself.

good,

was

another

"

little brisk

Palamede
dinner

to

and

what
some-

be directed

patientlyto

last shown

tint

Creole

and

"

at

was

of

lady

I waited

one,

no

and

tongues

mostly young,
As

been

seated, some

and

order

had

very

some

buzz

the

if he

waiter,

ranged from
Spanish
and
Danish
Dutch
French, English
;
in the m$lee, showing that
also
heard

were

Grand

be

to

see,

varied

skippers,whose
Portuguese to
Russian

to

easy

interest."

with

talking away

perfect intimacy

showed

assembled,

were

black

or

man

of

woman

droll,
party that had not slipped into existence in some
and for the
that positively,
so
quaint fashion of their own,
to think that I belonged to
ashamed
first time, I reallygrew
the

"decent

people"

"Voila

slightestdegree.
un

hair

said

mot!"
and

very

who

compromised
qui
jeuue homme

had

not

un

pretty-lookingwoman,

liquid pair

of

bine

eyes.

with
The

me

in

the

dit pas
fair brown
ne

speech

was

248

CONFESSIONS

me

had

intenselythe
digressionary; but
chair, with

taken

has

me

of

meditation

look

to

making

by
the

smash

the

about

wide

the

into

other."

or

hair

lad,

white

which

took

who

involve

not

If

he
not

him

in

to

forms

it.

Let

sin of

the

had

into

run

part.

hear

us

and

launching
one

owners

bit

you
time

hearty looking old man, with


enormous
pair of eyebrows to

by

and

he

have

must

said

was

snow,

as

him.

dinner, he'll

up" train

"

with

out

You

ocean.

This

of

convoy

worthy people

the

the

or

young

my

does

that

round

before

which

prosing

"

unhappy

Come,

"

minutes

few

down"

"

bit of

not

out
a
mail-train, he'll be
spelling me
skipping place, which leaves him time
the ingenious preparations that are
see

"

and

out

for

he'll

him,

in

be
the

grateful for

about

ease

already hovering

is

in the

If he

story.

dear
reader
my
his snug, well-cushioned

in

"Confessions"

up

regret the bit

of

pardon

be

that

sleep

invites the

ask

reading
appliance of

every
these

down

throw

I '11 not

If he

all that.

CREGAN.

are

so

for

CON

it
nearly allied with strength, so was
had
this frailty,
I had
cherished
not
never
This is all
a gentleman.
passion to become

strong character
with

OF

an

match.

Willingly, sir," said I, with an


should
be but too proud
; "I

"

humble

is could

mine

as

But

the truth

tax

upon

its

is, a

existence
my
three hours."
will

That

so

patience to

give little,indeed

"

life

devoid

listen to ; and

is from

in

honorable

fidence
con-

history

company.
be

only

birth, I

to my

as

would

The

earliest

record

the age

of two

days

"

admirably ! chorused
which
the gravity with

do

easiest

the

anything

of interest

information.

no,

"

if

this

amuse

that I possess

do,

air of

the

can

of
and

party, who

spoke, and
of my
extreme
earnest
seemed
which
to them
simplicity.
an
"
shall be quite satisfied with that," cried they again.
We
Well, then, gentlemen, thanking you for the indulgence

laughed heartily at

"

with

which

consent
you
At the tender

proceed.
a

raffle !

to

be

overlook

age

I have

want

my

of accuracy,

mentioned, I

was

won

in

"

in

"Won
the other

to

and

echoed

raffle!
amid
from

in

won

shouts
end

to

of
end

raffle!

'

screamed

one

after

laughter the phrase continued


of

the

table.

"

That

beats

OKDINAIIY

"THE

hollow, Giles

you

in the

part you

Such

the

commentaries

tickets

for

that broke

be

must

"

em!

amidst

out

mirth.

the

said

move,"

"I

barber

babies

scarce

from, if people take

of

249

NATIONS."

ALL

Jove, how

"By

come

some

were

"

OF

and

honorable
the

deputy

motion

to ascend

side of

tribune,

the

president's chair
-appearance,
age, air, and

well

while, evidencing

imagine.
A
right-down

"

and

kind

of

ingly
accord-

and

rude

pulpit

stationed
on

candid

at
sonal
per-

my
which

probable rank,

shrewd

the

ing
respect-

was

comments

the most

and

that

move

alluded."

room,

; the

been

wsre

spiritone

'un, darn

can

if

me

he

"

ain't !
A

"

slick

"

the

the

all the

has

by acclamation,

brought speciallyinto

was

made

he

had

the Chamber

to

which

to

who

"

^nce,

statement

carried

was

induced

the

make

Guard

interestingfact

The

that

National

little Frenchman

dapper

very wide awake


'beaux
de
a

"II

gemman,"
quoth number
a
yeux,' celui-la," this was

two.

young

lady's

"

remark.
"Set
he'll
"

mow

Londoner,

swell-mobbish

"

all,he

at

fellow

the
among
like grass."

young
'em down

"Not

"

'un

that

bolted

a'nt; he's

with

"I

kenn

leetle scheer,
"Ladies

him

scissars

"

interest,let
have

I have
the

no

me

you

assure

any weight
claim upon

pleas whispered
as

you

only a common
myself in ;
praiseof a

are

growled

wohl,
call

you

post-office

"

him,

out

an

steal your
ha ! ha !

old Dantzic
wash

assuming a pose
before
entering upon
so
graciouslyattached

not that the fact can


you
with
this distinguishedcompany
"

your
around

pleased

to

wid

am

burglar,

nor

'

wide

the

ought

or

fair

that

"

If I

highwayman.

it is

awake,' I believe

reallycould lay claim


lady on the left, it would

if I

cumstance
cirlittle

precaution, considering the company


and

the

regard to any of
neither thief, pickpocket,

say,

of

with

sympathy
me.

"

said I,

have

postman,

runaway

be,

vehr

and

to which

or

tin."

gentlemen,"
dignifiedimportance, "

most

clerk

bank

east,' and

bit, I take it."

Schelm,"

ist ein echter

Der

skipper;

to

lot of

girls 'down

to

be

the

find

flattering

merely

from

250

OF

CONFESSIONS

reflectingher
accidentally
with

myself, then,
simple

CREGAN.

diffidence
in

come

I present

bright glances.

own

much

that

reason

CON

before

character

for

you,

somewhat

the

strange

"

gentleman
to a
impertinence of this address succeeded
Some
miracle.
laughed, some
applauded, a few muttered
discontent; but the majority of the men
an
unintelligible
I saw
with me, and
that audacity
all the women
and
were
had
gained the day. Ay, and so will it ninety-nine times
in everything through life ! ^he
out of the hundred
strategic
axiom, that no fortress is impregnable, is a valuable worldly
to forget that a storming-party
lesson, and one ought never
rarely fails.
in these

The
I dare

"

am

ineffable

The

"

parts,

"

circumstance
not

"There

presume

was

the Christmas
my reserve.
in fashionable

to which

I alluded

to call it

brilliant

large and

at

the Duke

The

company

story

of Y

"

few

minutes

occurred

back

thus

party assembled

to pass

's ; you will understand


of the first persons
many

included

to boot, a great friend


life,and a Royal Duke
of her Grace, and, some
of her
of one
said, an old admirer
the rumor
showed
the strength of
went
sisters,who
so
"

"

her

attachment

his

cepted
Royal Highness by never
having acof the brilliant offers
of marriage made
her.
any
She was
remarkably beautiful,and although a little past the
first bloom
of youth, in full possession of her charms
at the
time I speak of.
Old Lord
E
of the guests ;
was
one
of the distinguished
and I am
sure
to whom
I
many
company
address
will
not
need
now
scription
myself
particulardeany more
of the man
have
met
hundred
times
a
they must

to

London
season,
every
his light-bluecoat and

hat, and

his

great avarice

well
his

known,
buckskin

indeed,

as

tights,his

he

is, with

wide

beaver

his wealth, and


queue ; his eccentricities,
all London
is acquainted with."
themes
are

his
I

paused.
A

buzz

I resumed
"Lord

of
:

are
you
the leader
,

; he

was

town, and whenever


house

in

recognition followed,

and

"

amateur

and

acknowledgment

Carlton

aware,
of

was

great

musical

everything of that kind about


he could prevailupon
himself to open his
Terrace, it was
always to Lablache, and

ORDINARY

"THE

Rubini, and

and

Marini,

the

visit

opening

on

case,

in

remains

of

concealed

which

were

violin.

little scroll of

brass,

which

time, explained that this


Giacomo

and

the

with

'

the

"

di

you

are

party
spirit and

Lady

by
raffle for

and

to

possess
number
was

low

real

at

The

and

and

turned

day.

of

of

that
'

great works,

' '

The

in this ; in any case,


sorts, and the pleasant

hailed

was

each

with

for

; and

Pizzichetoni,'took
to

hundred

who

directed

itself at the

on

was

'

I have

on

heard

such

run

about

the

The

judicious

its great fessors


proConversations
Lexicon
'

Pizzichetoni's

every
that was

favorite

ordinary importance;

was

them.

violin,and

bow-action, shifting,bridging, double


like,from morning to night. Lord E
of this

proceedings that the


the day of drawing, his

and

P.,

and

corner

Lord

high degree.
dying
,

at five guineas
up several
immense
; encyclopaedias

The

letter

to

the

histories of the

proficients.

enthusiasm, the

twenty of

; but

'

up in every
What
a time

than

Moglia

sua

I continued

but

more

la

other

many

of

out

excitement, too,

ransacked

opened

in

share

high premium'
Royal Highness actuallybuying
were

enclosed

greatest violinist

II Diavolo

some

guineas

of those

management

apiece.

eaten

off well ; the


accustomed
gone
the scene
were
wanting. Perhaps

of stir

two

limited

were

worm

taking leave, when his Royal Highness proposed,


of doing something, that they should
have a
wonderful
fiddle,of which, though only seen
another, every one was
talking.

were
'

mahogany

of the celebrated

mystery increasingthe interest

secrecy and
The tickets

shares

of

this much

Even

mansion,

of

way
this

the host
"

shade

escaped the ravages

assent, and

illness had

people talked

mark,
re-

all familiar."

seemed

one

'

Paradiso,' and

animation

Blanche's

every

by

of

chorused
company
somehow
had
not

The

had

the instrument

was

composer

Balla

which

document

Pizzichetoni, the

Battesta

lived,

ever

press in the wall


found
the moth
and

parchment

and

I may

in the

alteration

"

discovered

which

over

"

just

was

indispositioncast

en

they

Well, it

of them.

passant, Lady Blanche's


of gloom
that, in making some

251

NATIONS."

ALL

rest

this Christmas

of

period

the

at

OF

theme, fiftytimes
!

nothing talked
fingering,and
became, in

subject,a

instead

name

of

of
the

quence
conse-

personage

of

being deemed,

252

CONFESSIONS

he

was

sus,'he

wus

what

CHEGAN.

called at the

Borasclubs, the Great


listened to with interest and attention; and, in
of his knowledge of the subject, and
the extent

commonly

from

tact,

CON

OF

'

acquaintance with every detail of its history,each felt


that to his Lordship ought by right to fall the fortunate
his

ticket.

So

"

belonged

shall have

You

said the Duke

other

you ?
Highness's wish

what

'

than

the

One

E
.

,'

say

but

'

were

Royal Highness,

your

vacillation,

final decision.

'

blushing ;

and

bowing

Royal

'Your

"

remained

much

Royal Duke, the other to Lord


hundred
guineas for your chance,

the

to

After

out.

turn

numbers

the last two

with

'

it, in fact,

did

is

command,' said he,


it otherwise, and
to any
a

I should

certainlysay

as

nay.'
'

Then

"

"

nay

accept of such

sacrifice

worthy

of such

it for

present

to

"

'

"

'A

'

n't

'

more

reallyonly

meant

Royal Highness! cried he, horrified;


of St. Cecilia,
a jewel to anything short

give such

aware,

'

fortunes!

our

his ticket.

instrument.'

her

was

'

I believe

cried

I 'm

Duke,

the

the

as

lucky one

he
this

and

thousand

his, and, in

an

one

'

exclaimed

ecstasy of

Lord

triumph,

ing
hold-

down

sat

to

himself.

recover

";Here

is the

key,

advancing

towards

him.

"

than

"

much

2000.'

Two

up

I am,

are

Mori.'

violin,you are
Now, then, for

is number
"

also ; I cannot

me

'

forth

drew

to

answer

and, after all,you

treasure

present, your

I would

the

be the

must

my

Lord,' said

one

of

the

party,

thrust it into the lock; in his agitation


sprang
up, and
like
faint
s
oft
and
a
cadence,
a slight,
he shook the box,

He

cry, was
"'The

heard.
soul

of

music

hovers

o'er it

he exclaimed
still,'
Me!
lid, discovered

the
and, flingingback
theatrically,
white robe, with
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, in a very smart
I am
assured
lace cap which
a
very tasty embroidery, and
whether
I lay ! I am
not
aware
was
pure Valenciennes, there
movements
were
infantine
peculiarlyseductive or not;
my
"

but
that

I have
even

been

told that

I went

through my gamut

overtopped the laughteraround

me.

at

ki-y

"t

"

leaving the

1'

made

never

My

expenses

styled
by

my
this

What

"

who

was

with

modern

Lord

the
and

his

the

how

by

was

Oxford,
him

death,

lordship'sdirections,

his

; and

that

as

it

afterwards

was

nursed, reared,

was

and

matter

educated.

and

well

as

was

only

the

also learned

cost
few

the

of my

days

tion
termina-

good fortune in life. He bequeathed me what he


'
the fiddle-case ; thus repayfamily mansion,'
ing
himself
cruel jest the practicaljoke passed upon
"

before."
did

name

called

lived in the

Crejanus,

from

came

years

many
"

that

Eton

at

learning

of my

say,'said

charge,

commission,
on

plaisanterie of
turning away,

mauvaise

"

rightly knew
but
certainlyit

and

so

jest

253

NATIONS."

ALL

room.

up,
at his

ago,

bad

very

taste, I must

worst

OF

ORDINARY

"THE

or,

as

they give you,

after
seventh
some

usages,

the

sir?

celebrated

century, who
spell, Creganus

they anglicizedme

"

violinist of
was

named

Cremona
Cornelius

and, in compliance
into Con

Cregan."

254

OF

CONFESSIONS

the honor

1 have

44

"

president;

the
next

This

and

anil

acclamations,
If
did

of

some

I lost

There

was

to

who

refusal

to

the

on

story, of which

and

the

was

the

time

story

my

in

the

to

me

in my

of

more

tive,
narra-

myself ;

so

saw

which

of

very

me?"

in

the

luscious

round, and

"

the

age.
parentposed
disIf

"

but

the

diplomatic
gentleman
bowl

eyes
; and

Toasts

of

the

Thumbo-rig,"
punch, spiced,

genus
that concealed

degree
; bright

rapidly.

to my

the "hon.

glances ;

pass

delicate

notice."

no
a

"

the

of

mysterious epithet of
to

with

rigidin

over

with

"

told

44

allusion

any notice
concurred

table,

concoction

attempted

not

had

pleased

converse
merry
"
which we
of the board

magnetism

made

the

skipper, indeed, seemed


this mystery, by asking

took

anti-Mathewism

of their

churls

the

iced

to

in

interest

direct

my

company

the
a

and

well

question of
had given "

bore

which

sugared,
tendency
44

of

chair"

liquidwhich

tribune

who, possibly not

into

never

pleasuresof

The

the

I have

here, but which

broadside

answer

straw

ing
flatter-

most

put less faith

my

red-whiskered

pour

taste

the

put credence

strong

I shrouded

rough,

refined

with

from

one

Royal Highness

his

he

ere

hand,
gained on the other.
discretion,a certain shadowy prudery about
on

in which

to

drunk

descended

convey
any
the fair part of my
audience,
of their opinions, were
many

parentage, and

my

notion

reserve

years

said

"

portions of

certain

box

was

company
to ascribe

less of

thought
that what

happy

many

himself, others, who

Duke

Royal

the

hesitate

not

Cregan's health,"

evening."

the

of

Bee

wooden

gratifying toast

very

"man

he

CREGAN.

Con

propose

may

sleep in

to

goes

to

CON

that

its awful
were

no

that wondrous

call

good fellowship,

and

sentiments

"

of every

political,
literary,
arbitrary,
satiric by turns.
They were
amatory, sentimental, and
there
pleasant varlets ! and in their very diversityof humors
fashion

was

went

that

clash and

than
effectively
sat

watched

and

Then,
Dutch,
would

the

there
bad

drive

best

French,
a

were

collision of mind

each

was

we

sober

and

packed party

metal

of choice

that tell
wits who

more
ever

other.

jollyjumbling up
Italian, Spanish,
listener

clean

of

and

mad.

bad

English, bad
Portuguese, that

Stories

bey,un in

256

"

CONFESSIONS

Chassez

la grace

bahincez

"

"

Then,

from

guttural

"

anger,

laid its indelible

grace

Madame

tbe

were

tbere

stamp,

scene,

faces

some

witb

could

look

voice

belp

not

and

wbicb

on

others

were

Marquise,

"

of
diversity

extreme

la

be muttered

me,

tbe

on

gaze

while tbere

; for

La

OKEGA"

Quel supplied

to

witb

struck

being

DOM

he passed

as

I continued

As

OF

sion
expres-

iniquitybad

singularlypleasing,

tbe
tbe
same
Among
actually beautiful.
men,
character prevailedtbrougbout,
a rude, coarse
good-humor,
tbe sailor-typeeverywhere ; but a few seemed
of
persons
a
higher class, and on these a life of vice and debauchery
had
change, and you could still
produced the most marked
the traces of nights of riot and abandonment,
the
see, amid
remnant
of finer features, the expression they had
worn
If I was
before their
fall."
surprisedat the good looks of
still more
I by a gracefulness of
of the women,
was
many

and

some

"

"

"

carriage
of

and

place as they

rakish

character

his very
of the possessor's mode

indication

about

learning his name,

instant, and

about

out

One

companionship.

almost

were

dollars

the violins.

see

be

heard

for

the

him

bad

by
;

It

his partner,

and

one,

it at each

all sides.

on

dance

difficult}7

no

"

he

lounged

he

was

the

heard

assembly. The refreshments


his ordering, and
the clink of his
keeping merry time with the strains

I watched

combat

for

was

I had

the whole

him

that, in descending

secret

one

called

his title

was

entirelyof

might

I could

of

of life.

the belle of the room,

Nor

great entertainer

was

much

as

gesture that is rarely a bad

"

music

the

being, was

supreme.

every

Falkoner

selected

time

for the

for

"Fred

he who

was

to such

seemed

appeared to be a general favorite with the company.


and
had
that
was
tall,well-made,
indescribably

He

of

unsuited

were

that

deportment

fellow

young

in

air of

an

with
to

his

between

interest ; I

some

such

thought

companionship,

self-respectand

there

strange

life in

low places,which, when


added
to
passion
seeing
the flattery
such a man
invariablyobtains from his inferiors,
subtle temptation. The
I studied
is a dangerous and
more

him, the stronger


expression of scorn
even

to

to watch

the least
him

that

grew
upon

this conviction,

his handsome

remarking.
he

passed

me,

It

nay, at times, the


features was
legible

while

was

with

"

I still continued

dark, Spanish-looking

"THE

0^

ORDINARY

girl upon his arm, when


staring at me fixedly a
before, to-day."
"

"

Yes, yes.

not

am

never

yours.
"True, I was

suddenly, and,

seconds, said, "We

few

met

once

it,"said I, doubtingly.
forget a face, least of all when

of

aware

round

turned

he

257

NATIONS."

ALL

this

you

saw

morning

at the

'

it

sembles
re"

Picayune.'

there."

preciousset of rascals those fellows were ! You


going to join the expedition. Not a
supposed that they were
What

"

Some

bit of it.
and

I know

pickpockets.
to

you

warn

Will

you
"With

further

about

have

heart," said
acquaintance.
all my

speak Spanish?

"

Not

"

Well,

larina

I, glad

to

our

encourage

"

If

you

you

to

matter.

no

what

say

bit faded

a
'

a stranger,
you were
But there 's the music.

word."

But
"

saw

ing
go-

was

"

partner ?

You

in the crowd.

"

here.

for

thieves

greater number
and, indeed, I

all ;

them

them,

sight of you

I lost

but

; the

gamblers

were

at the

or

so

should

did, you
Mademoiselle

; but

I remember

mine

have

Heloise, yonder
her

second

'

Bal-

only two years back."


I
made
the
suitable
and
the
next
acknowledgment;
moment
saw
me
whirling away in a waltz, at least in such
an
as
approximation to that measure
my Quebec experience
suggested,with a very highly rouged and black-eyebrowed
danseuse."
My French was better than my dancing; and
Havana,

"

Mademoiselle

so

while
the

and

have

French

I must

satisfied

was

to

accept

my

discussing the company

room,

arm,

after

fashion.

approved

most

proverb, "

Bete

comme

une

danseuse

"

say that my fair friend did not prove an


tion.
excepwhole idea of life was
limited to what takes place

Her

in rehearsal
She

the

paraded

we

The

Heloise

of

recounted

to

morning,
me

her

or

on

the

historyfrom

night of representation.
the

time

she had

been

such is the technical term


at the Grand
Rat,"
Opera of
Paris,
flyingthrough the air on a wire, or sittingperilously
she had
Thence
perched upon a pasteboard cloud.
advanced
of Fairy Queen, or some
to the state
senger
winged mesa

"

"

"

of
vol.

i.

"

those
17

celestials

who

wear

muslin

trousers

with

258

CONFESSIONS

gold stars, and

Swiss

of

grade

Neapolitan market-girl,she
of

drama

achieve

to

in the

"

"fifth

had

"ballet

yclept
abilities
beauty nor

her

celebrityin Paris, she


provinces," and deemed

slave, and

last arrived

at

was

Pass*

position."
Turkish

peasant,

"legs,"

although neither

CKEGAN.

CON

in the

stand

always

the

big through

OF

the

at

imate
legit-

d'action;"
had

been

accounted

sufficient

Taglioni
exportation to

of

worthy

and

colonies.

the

contingit cuique
"
loges at the "

Non

"

"

have

our

it is so,

or

if truffles

True, indeed,

of

amount

vast

Grand

Op6ra

become

third, fourth, and

from

be

would

what

Corinthum!

adire

of

fifth rate

"

and

happy
pleasure we

the

all

cannot

we
"

performances

for

us

derive

elsewhere?

of life,there would
necessary
inconvenience
and
suffering. Now,
were

whose
Helo'i'se,

Mademoiselle

minded
no
more
pirouetteswere
in Paris, nor
singled out for peculiarfavor, than one of the
of small
of footlights,
idol in
was
a kind
lamps in the row
She
had
the good fortune
to live in an
the Havana.
age
when
the heels take precedence of the head, and she shared
in the enthusiasm
by which certain people in our day would
mythology for the benefit of the
bring back the heathen
de ballet.
corps
! in the
for fame
Alas
fat !
or

flesh to

Now,

shame

gauzy
cutlet

to

thing

be

it is to

of her, so
weary
"You'll
have
he

as

oner,

to

passed

must

Hard

to

terrible

and

in

this

Hedoise

soldier,

condition

self-denying a

world

; and

grew

quality. The
Every
sup.

not

difficult and

proving how
an
angel, even
was

glory she

irreconcilable

soft music

Mademoiselle

for

of her

is like cowardice

"entrechat"!

an

So much

climax

it is the

"

float to

who

natures

existence, and

of

lawyer,

costs

very
danseuse

if the reader

be

I.
her

treat

to

supper," whispered

Falk-

me.

purse," said I, thinking it better


to tell the truth than incur the reproach of stinginess.
"Never
mind, take mine," said he, as he dropped a very
before
weighty purse into my coat-pocket,and moved
away
"

I've

1 could

not

make

Perhaps
to

win

some

cent

in my

any answer.
the greatest

flatteryan

acknowledgment

of

individual
confidence

can

from

receive
an

is

utter

"THE

OF

ORDINARY

259

NATIONS."

ALL

by the chance intercourse of


minutes
saw
so
impressed another, who never
you have
befriend
to
before, that he is impelled at once
you,
immediately re-acts
self-esteem, so pleasantlygratified,
the

know

To

stranger.

cause,

and

own

good

your

still

was

whizzed

the

"Order

he

does

her

pleased

who

pleasant

flyingpast

came

for

cher

Comte?

he

as

his

which

of

time

this

by

been

had

con

scalloped oysters, cold

bill of

the

over

here

and

already assembling ;

places, to

metamorphosed
supper-tables, at

small

with

coffee-room,

parties were
our

said my
partner.
that
the notion

found

and

command,

"

vastly.

kind

took

upon

four," ciied he,

supper

mon

say,

dining-room

The
into

your

him

hesitating,revolving, doubtless,
Falkoner

you

applaud

to

of

translated

most

few

by.

What

"

whether

gifts,or the ready wittedness


so
instantaneously.

his partner.

with

loss

flatteryaforesaid, when

of

sense

at

are

you

appreciated them
I

that

we

fare,

now

discuss

and

haddock, and

lobster,devilled

other

like delicacies.
Falkoner
knot

in the

this hour
think

joined

soon

I must

room.

kind

; a

that

over

of

to

listen

to

that

things

invitations
himself
which

was

"

in

how

di'ew

room

not

have

asked,

nor

all the

contain

and

at

eaten

me
a

he

had

and

him.

adventures

even

his

tithe

of

great
the
of

nearer

the

What

ferent
dif-

smart

pressing
Mastodon

breakfasts

to

seventy-four
proffered by skippers

was

He

waste

amused

not

the
me

one

Rio

did

the rest.

There

not

like

help feeling

seem

that

by dissipation,there

interested

made
to

than

more

cordialitythat

I could
to

run

formerly

penetrated

hear

The

the

and

as

dock."

something in
passing fancy; and
about

the grog- tub

rum-and-water

was

stuff

from

guests

like hail !

Falkoner, however, pleased me

corrupted

cheeks

my

table, and

our

would

the

to

merriest

I feel it so,

gradually nearer

pattering down
pouring in upon

came

brilliant !

glow rushes

warm

converse

came

could
I

lying

the

been

the

down,

sat

we

have

evening,

parts of the

and

us,

of

me,
a

Texan

too,

The

however

his

good

was

another

excursion

del Norte, and

highly.

on

score

that

escapes

had
and

ladies, I believe,

at

"260

CONFESSIONS

hist

found

us

OF

us

but

arrive

in

time

fifth of the month

supposing
time

no

to

charter

"

will

do

the

kit

cattle,look

We
out

spare mustang
I concurred

then

for
or

at

take

couple

so, if

horse

; the

once

of mules

Falkoner

I cannot

; and

dash
if

as

expense
whether
I had

as

our

own,
or

itself.

so

venture,
Ad-

of

danger to
mized
they macada-

I, glowing with

of the

pride together, spoke


this hour,

of dollars

talked

to St. Louis

the road

our

buy

dollars

fascination

plan was

that,

pick up good
baggage, and a
up."

to

knock

liberty,novelty,enterprise,and
heighten all !

of

hundred

for

should

and

party

time

our

the

at

are

arms,

a
a

"

scarce

seventh, gives you

after

make

we

we

veston
Gal-

the start ; then

the

look

small craft?

can

Here

to be

by

ready,

then, if

you,
of these

it.

fellows.

Galveston

say
one

these

eighth was

reach

get your

What

nag.

to

you

smart

catch

to

through the windows.


to-morrow," said he, "for
sailer that she is, will

sails

she,

even

shine

to

'Chrietobal'

"The

C REGAN.

ungallant cavaliers; for they arose, and


prairie life and the wild habits of the

very

talkingover
chase, till day began
Kt't

CON

punch and
trifle.

mere

To

reallymystifiedmyself
into the notion that I possessed ample means,
or
was
merely
So
indulging the passing pleasure of a delightfulvision.
at the cheapness of everything,
was
it, however
; I smiled
could
for
scarcely fancy such a thing as a Mexican
pony
at the price
actually laughed
eighty dollars, and laughed
of the rifle,
all my worldly substance, at the moment,
when
would
have purchased copper
not
caps for it.
"Don't
go too expensively to work, Cregan," cried he,
A Mexican
"and, above
all, bring no European servant.
is the thing for the
fellow7
a half-breed
or, better still,
say

"

"

"

"

prairies. You

have

to

Old

forget your

World

habits, and

rough it."
"So
in

can," said I, laughing good-bumoredly


Just
capitalmind for a bit of sharp work too.
I

left the 90th,

'11 not

You

"They

made

country, and

the forest
"

we

have

that

There

is

These

fellows

like the

forced

I feel up

will snap

to

from

St. John's

at

action

before

through

afraid," said

the Yankees

Galveston,

her up, most

"I'm

anything."

cattle at first,I 'm

racking

capital mare

march

if

we

are

could

likely."

fond

he.
of.

get her.

"THE

"

Butcher's

"

Ah,

surprised.
in

hang

the

to

had

got

punch,

guess.

already," said he,

her

truth, that
I heard

read

you

the

heat,

me

see

determined

figures? for,
dancing, has not

438," said I, repeating it

Number

If I could

chanced

have

couple

to-morrow

herself

scratched

never

is worth

"

it, I'd

on

She

'

"

but

paid twenty

these

by the Christobal.'
the
will weigh with
ebb,
out, and
she killed Butcher
mare
by a down

That

of my
of these

over.

down

mile

some

and

the

or

one

the number,

see

was

that

ticket

winning

Can

or

quite dizzy."

me

Yes, that is it.

run

the

it is.

Here

if the

of times
"

tell you

it up.

Let

"

Well,

coming here to-night.

me

made

after

to the office-clerk to

buy

to

looking

fellows

skipper
dollars

've been
"

261

NATIONS."

ALL

mare," said I, hazarding

you

objects

OF

ORDINARY

lies about

eight

at

leap

o'clock.

rock,

over

least

at

have

thousand

dollars."
"I

for her
eight hundred
I, sittingback, and
sipping my

offered

said

profound

from

so

than

And

thus

the

"

very
'*

you

most

bespeaking

indifference
rich

me

chatted

we

till the
away
and
the windows

to

open

are

you

this announcement
it

and

about

betrayed

affluent.

black

waiter

made
the

work

we

arose

name

of

for

prepare

his

day.

"Where
from

rakish

the

as

appearance
of

liquid with

evidentlysurprisedwith

was

more

money,

character,"

mere

quietude.

Falkoner
but

on

the
At

flash

as

House," said I, boldly giving the

hotel.
do

would

I.

"

come

noisy ; I don't like


confoundedly expensive, too.
it 's too

But

It 's
to

Herrick's

think

the

perhaps,

but

not

five

dollars

pay

Falkoner,

table.

Condor

Nor

said

stopping?"

cookery

bottle

it is not

for

is

quite

Madeira,

and

it."
I

wish

stylish,

so

and

better,

you

eight

'd
for

Champagne."
"

That

is

smart," said

bill yet ; but


"

and

Well,

Why

and

come

decide
"

I fancied

for
not

I.

they
dine

"

were

with

They 've not let


costlyfolk."
me

at

Herrick's

yourself."

try

the

Condor

with

me?

"

said I.

me

have

my

to-morrow,

2G2

CONFESSIONS

day, with

"Another

to-morrow,
I

and

in

the

for

knew

l)e

The

Courcy

De

about

me

Cold-

the

like brothers.

were

good

long

for poor Jack De


deal of the Arab

her."
I remember

"

of

Courcy,

with

mare

town

indulged.

of

"Jack

"

little chestnut

and

drunk, amazed

"

friend

course," said he, after


been disposed of.

had

I,

I have

London

Jack and I
yes, I think I did.
last steeplechaseI rode in Ireland was

streams,

for

go

cried

about

all I had

which

Courcy,

friends

"Jack?"

in

but

six o'clock."

at
on

with

that, even
way
cool impudence

of mutual

run

chatted

we

CREGAN.

heart;
him

meet

You

"

then

CON

all my

and

come

so

agreed ;

folks

OF

"

Well,

"

You

tell

must

to

screw

of her."

out

race

all about

me

devil,but she could n't

mile."

managed

active

an

"

half

than

more

well,

her

that

for I find

to-morrow;

of the
head is like a bell with the vibration
unfortunate
my
last stroke of the hammer
it. Don't forget,
on
to-morrow,
"

sharp six.

You'll

nobody but Broughton."


Sir Dudley Broughton?
Dudley,
You
"The
know
same.
him, then, already?
fellow ! he 's terriblycut up ; but he '11be glad to see
friend.
Have
together?"
you been much
meet

"

"

"

great deal.

"A
the

cruise

with

him

in his

have

met

you!

old

an

yacht,

'Firefly.'"
What

"

Falkoner,
the most

rare

as

he

piece of
shook

fervent

he,

parted,

"

in

stand

to

I made

Poor

to

the

hand

my

assurances

saunter

middle

perspirationfrom

fortune

once

meeting
slowly towards
of

the

And

more.

of

brow,

my

to

the

on

his

street, and,

to ask

"

cried
with

so,

we

morrow,

hotel ; and

as

myself, had

wiped

I gone

I,
the

clean

mad.
I

was

that

between

by

the shock

Falkoner

left me,

my:

for

own

impudence

full five

minutes,

boasted
of my
spell-bound. To
Captain De Courcy, although the Atlantic

us,
of

of

have

and

with

Sir

where

I stood

motionless

talked

overwhelmed

so

was

Sir

bad

Dudley

enough, in all conscience


"

Dudley Broughton
that actuallyappalledme.
"

the
as

"

; but

to

macy
intirolled
have

haughty, insolent, overbearing


old friend,"was
something
my

How

could

my

vain

boastfulness

264

CONFESSIONS

polishing;

and

doors,

signs of wealth

all

"

I,

there

"

be

that

they

favorite

rude

branch

while

to

to him

who

of

Arab

had

dollars."

stood

on

their

wont;

sharp

stone

; that

source

of

danger

so

the

to

some

of

course

canker

fleeting,of

life

servant-class

will

present social

our

stance
sub-

worldly

; but it only is a
ever

that

their chariot

condition

disparityof

this reason,

For

on

friendless,my

and

rich men,

the
"

than

rich varnish

the

poor man
glimpse, be it

ease.

great

earlier

This

of

Ay," thought
weightiest evil would

of every

had

has

luxuries

the

portended sleep.

scratched

the mind

be

of

along, alone

luxury and

always

and

hour

an

had

few

occurs

rich

here, whose

awoke

I wander
a

the

hundreds

are

their

were

curtaius

close-drawn

whose

ing
beating carpets and shakraking the gravel before

magnolias and cactuses that


the windows.
beneath
Carriages, too, were
high-bred horses standing out to be groomed,

and

washing,

others

watering

or

sentinel

stood

CREGAN.

shining niggerswere

hearthrugs, while
the

CON

OF

dition
con-

the
seeing the weakness, the folly,and sometimes
than
worse
folly of those they serve, viewing, from a near
from
afar, are
point, the interior lives of those who, seen
reckoned
great and illustrious, they lose the prestige of
respect for the distinguishingqualitiesof station, and only
and
riches.
the wealth
symbols,
yield it to the outward
;

"

"

Socialists

What

are

Republicans are
For
all your
gardener!
Red

; what

is the

cooks

our

entertained

never

to

my
views.

these

men
foot-

our

; what

Leveller

"yellow plush,"

of you.
Sans-culottes, every man
it a high testimony
Now, I deem
that I

Democrats

butlers ; what

our

powers
On the

are

you
of

ment
judg-

contrary,

always upheld the doctrine that society, like a broken


plane," and I repudiated
thigh-bone, did best on an "inclined
feel
six
feet
would
high
a man
equalitywith the scorn

he told that

were

The

half.
of

wealth

life in
rather
hundred
that's

only

only grudge
was

standard

the human

that

lose

acquiring
employ in dispensing.
at thirty,a thousand
the geometrical mean

needs

"

"debentures"

to

guiuea

at

forty, a

of
be

life.

"

at

man

of
far

twenty is worth

million
Glorious

divine!

and

brilliant years
what
I would

so

many
would
it
I
for acquire

four

the fortunate

feel towards

I did

I should

to be

was

sixty,
youth, that
at

"

with
cheat

! that

weed

and

ones,

dulness

renders

gives

meek

air

of

fancies, and
Excellent

and

imagination

companionable

men

thought

the

to

as

I felt that

breakfast.

imaginative,

stupid

and

vagrant

my

necessityof

the

make

can

; that

plodding

of

out

myself

unclouded

more

morning,

compose

265

NATIONS."

brain

my

air of the

both

I should

cigar

ALL

and

in the free

along

I walked

clearer

became

head

My

OF

ORDINARY

"THE

clever

to

flattest

very

!
insipidity

pocket for the little case


my
but in vain ; I tried another,

I searched

Manillas,
it?

was

always

I could

Could

success.

there

is

rig its

influence

brow,

and

been

this, what
which

with

"

and

the

coat,

from

to

little

Has

hand

my

Thumboacross

breast-pocket
what

or

had

my

had

only

become

it.

of

disuse.

once

amazement

here.''

one

find

to

that

As

I said

the

pocket for
changed sides, and gone

is too

bad!"

thought I;

punch, I could have fancied that I had


is a mystery !
Here
said I,
wrong-sided.

more

"

on

solve

it

patiently;"
wayside, and, laying my bundle
now,

been

being empty, like county banks,

searching had
right! "Oh, this

coat

put my

if the

certainlywas

my
been

had

left

from
"

was

passed

like wells, from

up,

; there

no

yet?

another

close

not

is this, Con?

How

remember

of

they dry

No,

you

tried to

do

do
"

over

tradition

Pockets
nor

I have

breast-pocket!

no

had

great-coat:

my

help laughing at the thought, it sounded


I essayed again, alas! with
better
no
placed it in the breast-pocket? What !

not

ineffablycomic.

so

it in

carried

my
How

like result.

"

robbed

that contained

to

and

so

the

on

I sat

down

me

by

ground, began

to

reflect.

Reflection,

instinct of custom
been

the

found,

soon
"

showed

of

was
me

that

no

my

Habit

use.

pocket had

left; my

right hand
sought the spot
almost
mechanical
left wandered
impulse, whereas
my
like a man
in search of his newly-taken lodging. As
to
this puzzling fact, my
fingers,deeply immersed
in contact
with a small
leather case.
pocket, came
to

it forth

opened

; it

not

was

it; there

card, with
underneath,

the
the

mine,

was

words,

"

I had

never

nothing within
"

Full

figures,"438."

Share

but

always
with

small

Ticket,"

on

an

about
I

came

in the
I

it before

seen

the

"

drew
!

piece of
top, and,

266

CONFESSIONS

the card, my

Profn
now

my

own

at

with

saw,

one,

other

had

which

of

not

what

"

the

about

while

that

substitute
could

of

dogs,

Master

get up

with

far, it was

back

such

make

me

vexed

of

Was

it

recoveringmy

it could

for

vestment

was

piece

of

and

negro,

who

so

the

roguery

me

was

; nor

size to

own
my
I ended

by

buting
attri-

had

probably

of

moment

don't

that I

own

enough

near

with

passed

you

the

upon
down

taller than

culprit;
a

as

and

if you

see

be; and
much

was

Lie

"

"and

company
above
not
not

he

who

one

terms,

severe

adage,

assuredly

miserable

very

at the occurrence,

displayed.

"Such

him the
suppose
the knavery to the

this ancient

symptoms
two, also

or

barter.

closely,a

was

act

an

that, since

I remember

that

even

threadbare

the chances

more

own.

fleas!"

could

of

it

Falkoner

know

that

I
being myself discovered?
decidedly a shabby investment, and,

was

were

and

missing
gainer by the

Con," says the

with

negro
the

was

seeing

button

AVere

risk

on.

"

Certain

no

The
It

accountable,

me.

and

was

examined

honor

like this."
to

left

not

was

and
some
away,
a fair exchange,

came

in very
help reflecting,

breach

glad

It

for my

not

evening

the

equal to
thought not.

way

that it

it

put

as

in any

cuffs,

to go

own

now

me

itself;and

coat

wearing.

was

to

So

was

that

me

man's,

the

passive part ; taking

mere

unwillingly

worth

convey,

mine.

off

was

performed

showed

I cannot

indeed, remaining,
carried

CREGAN.

to

assisted

had

ordinary

only

surprise

CON

reverted

eyes

but another

coat,

the

OF

kept

substitution.

in the
of solution
It may
be inferred, from
the difficulty
faculties were
that my
of this very
case
simple occurrence,
of the
not pre-eminently clear and lucid, and that the vapor
bound
me
Thumbo-rig still hung heavily over
; such, I am
to

during
that

was

completely

based
Now

such
on

to

of

my
conscious

this,my

Government

Provisional
most

and

of the previous night


Every event
It was
imperfect as might be.
only

the last half-hour

Previous

me.

fact.

shadowy

as

was

the

was

own,

over

bodies, its edicts


but

then

came

weak
a

conversation
of

mind
my
had

with

all said and

had

done

established

rebellious

Falkoner

around
kind

of

ideas, and, like

little force, for

they

were

prestige.
question of this strange-lookingpiece

"THE

of card, with

ORDINARY

the

I seemed

they

fluttered
sailors

the

The

while

tended
the

loose

"

which

with

hasten

to

stir

the

boat's
the

stream

their

voices

"

'11 not

He

And
all ?

like

this ! "

the

what

longer
lose

he

skipper
I

was

everything
remark

not

the

wall

of

sound

of

"

said

of

one

the

!"

tide

to

mean

the

beside

Ben!

for

day, besides,

every

d'ye

watch

to

them.

saw

away,

no

the

voyage

accidental

an

at

shaken

occupied
did

oars

when

your

of

the

sides.

down

sat

of

tient
impa-

be

craft, where

that

!"

with

to

her

So

their

on

come

wait

It 's not

"Well,

to

should

why

them

that

forward.

only

me

ready

commands

board

on

was

signal

"

it

struck

"That's
men.

and

loud

leaning

sat

beat

wherever

you,

lightning speed,

who

crew

hung

; and

press

bustle

with

done

was

the

and

and

in

exclamation

my

and

stream,

heaved

they

as

river,

blue-peter

ye-ho

"

rapidly along

sail

to

were

was

that

rushed

"

the

the
her

pleasant

nor'-wester,

canvas

stream

the

sea,

capstan-bars

the
was

preparations,

seemed

and

of

to

all my

enveloped
bank

my

threw

striving

off, down

for

in

before

on,

the

mile

getting ready

wind

the

"Would

half

about

facts

night

that

cess,
pro-

I felt that

nay,

"

wondered

reached

I had

time,

with

the

gusts

the

uncertainty

mast-head,

time

kept

anchor.

"

of

smack

at

wonderful

some

recorded

of

and

matter,

perceive,

tall-masted

by

cause,

remember

mist

this

by

could

out,

the

dull

the

thoughts
and

I could

light upon

pierce

hidden

267

NATIONS."

which,

on

some

All

ALL

myself perfectly familiar,

from

memory.
little

numbers

to

were,

OF

get

we

do?"

of

land-lugger

any

nor'-wester

asked

the

former

speaker.
"

have

Give
a

him

ten

chance

of

"There

pointed

goes
to

the

lazily issuing.
away,

lads

"

minutes
a
a

more,

dollar

"I'll

from
not

cried

apiece, anyhow

shot!"

smack,

Ben,"

said

the

whose

stay here

man

another.

Let's

!"
called

bow-port
any

"

the

longer;

Ben,
smoke
shove

as

he
was

her

chain

wall, I
a

could

little white

showed

the

I sprang

"Well,

off, and,

cast

was
see

flag, which,

it, master?"

is

probably expecting

to

see

pared
preThe

from

the

stern, carrying

wafted

towards

me,

438.
a

surprise.
Ben, looking up,

take

of

cry

said

me

men

out

her

at

the

summons.

swung

breeze

enigmatical numbers
to my
legs and uttered

what

she

as

the

as

the

obey

standard

small

delay,

further
to

boat's

"

CHRISTOBAL.'

'

ITHOUT

THE

OF

BOARD

"ON

into

header

the

and

muddy

stream.
"

That's

"That's

the
the

"Very

"

number!

cried

I,

knowing

not

I said.

what

number!"

very

true, master,

so

it

is, but

ha' n't

you

got

the

"

counterpart, I guess !
"
Yes, but I have, though !
from

the

"Why,
and
they
"

Were

"

About

"

said

I, producing

the

ticket

the

men;

pocket-book.
darn
sung

you
half

if

me

out

a'n't

himself!

three

there
an

that

hearty cheers
long, old fellow?

horn-," said I.

"

at the
"

said

cried

discovery.
Ben.

and

"Tarnation!

"

"

waiting

was

"

that

didn't

Christy

was

so?"

or

"

waiting

"

"

for

a-waitin'?

us

and

ebb,

five minutes

I 'd like to know."

what?

for

Waiting
Waiting

keep

ye

the

on

was

signals every

making

did

269

CHRISTOBAL."'

'

THE

why

tide

the

see

you

OF

BOARD

"ON

said

baggage,"

my

I, taking

long

breath.
"

it aJu't

An'

"

afraid

I 'm

"No;

that

"Be

yet?
they missed

come

along without

kit,

your

stay longer. Come


with it, whichever
stay behind

master, I'll

it may,

as

road."

the

or

not

please."

you
"

"I've

few

When

shall

river.

was

that

will

do.

leading question,

bound.

were

we

evening

to-morrow

Sit down

hold.

wind

fall,
by night-

or

there

and

make
in this

always a little splash of a sea


all together!
lads, pull away,
's

; there

"

And

now,

second

shot

"

from

tripped,and

was

Well,

if the

yourself snug
A

whither

yet know

guess,

This

carelessness

loose,

left out

there?"

be

Galveston?

"At

I, affectinga bold

said
there

things
we

for I did not

"

the traps !

Hang

we

her

saw

announced

smack

the

lurch

now

that her anchor

over

her

as

foresail

filled.
The
stood

the

the

upon

to her

excuses

faith

about

of

my

deck

of

till the

voyage

's got

He
a

docks.
a

gemman

These

"438"

to

me

n't

war

and grub to
passage
de-sire ; he 's won
can

"

had

about

meant

all

look

for

out

do

goin' to

Galveston,

the

gemman
that, I said.

good

as

"

and

take

darn

me

it them

blue

if

as

ere

is worth
for

arms

things is worth
gives myself no

'em."

scattered

restored

on

the office late last

from

they says
nag
dollars, with furniture and

or

trouble

number

told

But

eight hundred
the new
expedition;
so
a-looking arter,
seven

"

last moment.

the

They only sent me


night," said he, " and
the

the

twenty minutes I
Christobal," making sundry

skipper for being late,and assuring him,


gentleman, that I had utterly forgotten

"

about

in about

pulledvigorously,and

men

me

hints
to my

that

all I wanted.

were

wonted
had

won

clearness,and
a

free

passage

sea-breeze

The
I

now

to

saw

that

Texas,

270

OF

CONFESSIONS

and

horse

coats"

riflewhen

with

"

was

the

board

got there

far,

the

was

with

the

was

other

The

already set

either

had

; so

It

learned

Christobal."

"

CREGAN.

difference."

that

satisfaction

CON

out

only

passenger

abandoned

or

able
unspeak-

an

gentlemen

"

of

exchange

' '

"

on

of the

the

pedition
ex-

project,

unpleasant scrutinyinto
future.
my past life,or any impertinentinquiryregarding my
Old Kit Turrel, the skipper, did not play the grand inquisitor
been for the most
His life had
part passed in
on
me.
had

that

so

not

to and

the voyage

making

doubtless

had

he

where

undergo

to

any

Orleans

New

from

sufficient

seen

of

Galveston,

and

character

have

to

not a runaway
gluttonin eccentricity. There was
abandoned
vagabond that had left the coast for
or
rogue
You
had
historyhe was not familiar.
years back, with whose
the catalogue of his
and
out came
but
to give him
a name,

satisfied

misdeeds

had

revelations

These

book

the

opened

It

wanted.

of

prodigious interest

adventure

human

edge
knavery,"

fashions

in

greater advantage of learning the

They
very chapter I
the razor
to give
to speak of the

upon
not

"

for

me.

the

at

keen

putting a

was

"last

the

me

instant.

the

on

attendant

success

each,

on

with every
it fared
preciselyhow
had
who
passed through his hands.
one
Texan
to these
also as
expeditions,
He
enlightened me
been anything better
phrase, had never
which, to use his own
than
almighty swindles," planted to catch young flats from
to be
being all too " crank
the north country, the Southerns
tell

could

"Kit"

since

"

"

done.
"

is there

And

of

the horror

family, and
"

who

man

be

had

dash

buffaloes

trail when
or

expedition

are

in

cut

two,

if he

lingerstoo

late in the

back

with

wonderful

stories of

better.
than

Most

and
rifles,

knife.'"

off

down

stray

fellow

or

then

they come
stroying
storming villages,and de-

chaps are
handle a
jemmy

more

'

and

Camanche

Injian

an

fall ; and

of

of 'era.'ere
can

bring

to

rest

the

all

I, with
home,

the

into

then

plenty, or

war-parties, and

from

seduced

and

now

said

pretences.

Mayhap, too, they

so.

"

reality?

been

false

friends, under
do

There

buck

no

'

it; but
used

better

knows

we

to

than

picklocks
a

"

bowie-

272

CONFESSIONS

OF

dodge they had between


him

brought

he

his

with
mouth

''They

he

could

and

t' other

the

fellow
"

and

when
was

so

Well,

they

rowed

the water

is

's the

sharks,

iuto

the

around

links

of

Sam

"

the

lift him

sure

of

see

took

they

like

the

bows

to

with

shore-boat, in the

of

the

pool
whirl-

many

of

one

child.

stream, where

snags,' and

'

in two

the time

the

middle

boat-chain,

clean

from

ugly!

very

iron

an

man-rope

'atween

spot you

for

juguar.
ugly men,

the

're

last,and

at

nothing

eat

roughest among

dashing
That

'

him

Guajaqualle here, bound


in his
log of iron-wood

strongest
bite

took

they put him into


weak
they had to

river, he
out

'em

could

Black

The

and

like

on

Sam

from

him,

tear

both

untwist

his teeth.
;

eould

CREGAN.

But

way

behind

were

Sum

him

till the

hands

; for

'em.

CON

'

sawyers.'

these

better than
to
big chaps knows
their wittals in dangerous places,
while the water
is black,
at times, with
alligators. Well, as I was
sayin',out they
rowed
to this part of the stream,
just as they comes
; and
the black
fellow gives a spring, and
drives both
his heavy
ironed feet bang through the flooring-plank
of the boat.
It
half swamped
before they could
was
past bailin' ; they were
all strugglingin
ship their oars ; the minute after, they were
the river together. There
three besides
the nigger;
were
the only one
but he was
land again. He
touched
ever
was
sharks
an
Antigua chap, that same
nigger ; and they knows
and
does dog-fish: but, for all that, he was
as
we
caymans
"

the

young
look for

"

all

bloodv, and

had

lost

part

of

foot, when

one

he

got

ashore."
"

Why

"

What

had

he been

had

What

captured?

n't he done

That

same

had

he done?

black

murdered

"

more

burned
Chedown
any six in these parts ; he it was
coat's mill up at Brandy Cove, with all the people fastened
Then
he run
to the 'washings'
at Guajaup within.
away
where
he
killed
Colonel
the
Rixon, as was
qualle,
over
men

'

as

Placer.'

He

guessed

him

cut

how

in two

it

with

happened,
off two
three
or
people from the
one
got drunk
night, and began
hemlock-trees, and sayin', That
Buckra'
his name
was
Georgy,'
a

one

'

"

a
as

'

bowie-knife,
the

juguars had
'

washins

a-cuttin'
's the

and

way

George

never

carried

; but

the

nigger

down

the

young
down

mowed

Rixon.

Then

he

"ON

and

bolted,

OF

BOARD

was

never

THE

seen

'un, that fellow Crick

hard

Crick,

"

with

Menelaus

"

amazement

"Just

was

down-

"

said

I, almost

springing up

spoke.

You've

so.

he

Ah,

more.
"

Crick

as

273

CHRISTOBAL.'"

'

heard

him

of

enough

'fore

now,

guess."
The

skipper
the

and

pursued

went

; but

of

fearful

I heard

the

life of

about

the

crime

little of

which

what

he

himself, bowed

man

before

suffering,was

talk

to

on

; and

ploits,
negro'searly exhe had
always

said.

down

The

with

brance
remem-

and

years

how

thought

der
terriblymuris expiated,even
in those cases
the guiltyman
is
So is it ; the dock, the dungeon,
believed to have escaped.
and
the gallows can
be mercies in comparison with the selfme

where

of eternal

torment

hell of solitude

awful

in the

night

mind, and

to my

seeing my
inclined

and

pondering
At

The

Lower

Town

inattention, and

for

sleep,left
sad

these

over

me

the

instead
blue
broke

and

in foam-sheets

in

faded

had

bow.

at the

the

of the

swift vessel

darted

freightwere
won

or

lost the

game

every

I felt,besides, that
but

onward

way

in the

one

rose
spirits

My

her

before

to

with
mile

left New

we

coals to Newcastle
carry
offer a much
account, did Texas
to

it smacked
for

me

danger

sails

vol.

"

than

what
18

cared

who

Orleans

"

;
more

; the

nor,

from

and

the
her

venturer,
poor adwhether

very

strange crucible is the

behind
market
the

favorable

confront

human

us

was

skipper's

field. However,
had

name

thought I should far rather


and
live a life of petty schemes

than

i.

adventure

bent

were

breeze,

skill to such

; and

But

of

while,

Fortune.

bring my

"

Mississippi,the
merrily past, or

the

better

world

wide

land

proudly as though

as

and

something prouder

without
he

immovable

low

distance

white

The

cityhad

the

like boards, firm and

rific
ter-

together

The

even

sparkling,danced

shining and

waves,

both

rose

deck.

on

yellow,polluted flood

the

or

the

the

themes.

river

of the

mouth

and

or

thoughts that the old per,


skipbelieving that I was
weary
for the deck ; and I lay still,

myself and went


disappeared from view,

since

Anticosti

Quebec

of

my

companionship,

at

scene

absorbed

so

of

terror

last I roused

long
at

the

fear,

small

charm
actual

ents.
expedi-

heart ! here

274

CONFESSIONS

I, placed

was

of

in

kind

OF

CON

CltEGAN

situation to which
which

incident

an

had

elevated

of honor
scrupulous sense
have
made
shudder
some
at,
fancying, ay, and
persuading myself too, that, in the main, I possessed very

me,
would
"

more

"

admirable

sentiments

and

most

little straits to which

occasional

laudable
I

ambitions
reduced

was

; that

the

only so

were

practicaljokes played on me by "Fate," which took,


doubtless, a high delightin the ingenuityby which I always
fell on my feet,
while I felt certain that,were
I only fairly
treated, a more
upright, honorable, straightforwardyoung
lived than I should
gentleman never
prove !
Let Dame
Fortune
only deal me trumps," said I, " and
'
I '11 promise never
into my
to look
neighbor's hand.'
Gentle
reader, you smile at my humility; well, then, it's
many

"

"

"

clear you are


neither
that 's all.

scretary of

state

nor

tor,
railwaydirec-

"

We

off Galveston

anchor

dropped

just

as

the

sun

ting
set-

was

evening being calm, and the reflection of the


houses and steeplesin the water
sharp and defined,the scene
more
was
tant
imporstriking. The city itself was
sufficiently
had
than
I
and
the
size
wealth
and
to
as
anticipated,
office of the "Texan
a
Expedition," held at the "Moon,"
favorably
great coffee-house on the Quay, impressed me most
and
with the respectability
Co-expedipretensions of my
; and

the

"

Old

tionaries."

Kit

presented

knavish-lookingfellow
winner

of the

I learned

in

me

to

the

secretary

spectaclesof black

"

very
the
as

gauze
excessive
tion,
mortifica"

great prize, which, to my


at Houston, about
was
eighty miles farther up

the

Bay.
apologized for my careless dress by stating that my
baggage had been unfortunatelyleft behind at New Orleans,
board
been
and that in my haste I had
on
obliged to come
with actuallynothing but the few dollars I had in my pocket.
"
That's
a misfortune
easilyrepaired,sir,"said the gauzehere
have
eyed secretary; "you can
your 'credit' cashed
in the country."
at any
town
as
just as liberally
I have
doubt of that," responded I, somewhat
no
tartly,
1

"

for
"

did

not

to

banks

in my
portmanteau."
papers
said
he, taking a
Provoking, certainly,"

but all my
"

fancy this allusion

snuff,

"
"

and

bankers

are

ain't it, Kit?"

long pinch

of

"ON

Kit

But
"

Are

"

No,"

only
said

"

I,

'CHRISTOBAL.'

his nose,

scratched

Vicars

bankers

your

THE

OF

BOARD

Bull, sir?

and

credits

my

looked

and

all

are

puzzled.

"

Northern

on

275

"

house;

is

You 've heard


tolerablywell known.
of the Cregans, I suppose."
Cregan," repeated he a couple of times ; then,
Cregan
opening a huge ledger at the letter C, ran his eye down a
"
Crebell
Crabtree
Croxam
Crossley
long column.
Creffet^ Cregmore. It is not Cregmore, sir?"
No, Cregan is the name."
a
well, there's no
"Ah,
Cregan. There was
Cregmore
in the book, and
was
we
lynched here, I see by the mark
small
trunk
have
a
waiting to be claimed, belonging to
but

fancy my

name

"

"

"

"

"

"

"

"

'

'

him."
"

ain't the fellow

That

that
team
wagon
it?" said Kit.

lotteried

was

but it is, though.

"Yes,
all

purtended

as

and

right

and

Harper,

the real

"

Yes, sir,that's

"

What

the

was

of

the

the

since, is
the ticket

had

he

Colonel

one

thing ; and

they lynched Cregmore

hotly,and

out

comes

up

winner

be

twelvemonth

made

He

straight, when
showed

here

to

Jabus

chaps took

it up

evening."

that

fact," quoth Kit.

penalty?"

asked

I, with

imposing

most

indifference.

hanged

"They
if he

sure

"And

be n't

this

hanging

Hall's

at

up

distasteful,

when

does

she

Court

yonder.

I ain't

still."

there

packet," said I, for

"

She

him

the

sail?

theme

excessively

was

"

first cabin, two dollars ;


to-nightat twelve,
steerage, one-twenty."
Thank
scending
you," said I, touching my hat with the condeair one
rior,
occasionallyemploys to humiliate an infeby its mingled pride and courtesy ; and I turned into
"

starts

"

"

the

street.

"You

ain't

overtaking
"

Of

"

He

to Hall's

Court,

are

you?"

said

Kit,

me.

course

anything

are

a-going

not," responded I, indignantly.


but

ain't all

Kit re-entered

the

pleasurable."
right, that 'un," said
office,and

"

Such

Gauze-eyes,

stepped back

to

listen.

sights
as

old

276
"

ing

know," muttered

I don't

Well,

it be doubtful, sir.

CREGAN.

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

ha' n't got much

He

I 'm

"

the other;

clink

a-think-

with

him,

thai 'a :i fact."


"

just
"

it," yawned the other;

do

that he'll make

willain

almighty

an

to-night,

bit."

Well, ye might

in the boat

up

him

"

Chico

but

out

is
or

rogue

Chico

that I do

is smart,

confess," said the other, with

grin.
"

And

he

"He
him

's
he

and

from
the

for

the

before

The
my

being

not

the

more

whit

clambered

hasten

me

With

comfortable.

from

reallyknew

bold

the

proceed

not

was

generally happens,
path, since,

the timid

than

to

course

the less choice

line, as

prize,and
would
only

what

not

be

the

Houston,

to

certain

more

made
of

my

up

four

and,

stepping

into

dollars

in

but

excellent

an

the

few

to

shop, I

purchase

cents

of

and
weapon,
balls and
some

supplied me with
thus
provided, I took my way
the steamer
lay,already making some

where

to

far

mood

second-hand,

"

gold.
powder; and,

I took

my

Chico

two

as

signs of

leaving,made

of

dangerous

more

was

"revolver,"

wharf

that."

me.

My mind
expended
true

rejoinedthe skipper;

reflected,however,

disposal;

inevitable

discover

'"'Chico,"

I to abandon

were

how

in

it."

disciver

ever

all that,"

feet, indicative

investigationsof
at

one

I've

can.

Court"
ingenious predecessor in "Hall's
my
of escaping the shrewd
and the small
possibility

me,

there

no

disguiseupon

no

of

of

follow.

vagabond, too;

pleases, Chico

he

and

for

coward,

spot, but

fate

anything

Pawnee,

put

can

sound

The

like

rank

like

uncommon

so

like him."

pass

He

look

look

can

seen
"

do

I don't

Chico,

li

him

Chico

send

to

swindler, at all events."


"

mind

dodge

to

such
a

half

I have

towards

the

indicative

readiness.
a

steerage passage

dispose
into

of
a

myself
boat

on

in

and,

the

not

interval

deck, and, with

knowing
before
my

where

or

starting,I

bundle

for

It was
much
not
so
sleep
pillow,fell into a pleasant doze.
a
semi-waking state that merely dulled and dimmed
as
I have
often
found
of mind
impressions, a frame
very
"

"ON

favorable

OF

BOARD

Oue

thought.

to

question in this wise,

the
glass, and observe
being blinded by its brilliancy. I
as

was

manner

I know
I

little as

as

bethought

found

and

honor, it

Falstaff's
all

plot

exchange
ticket

Le

another,

for

compensation

tout"

en

"

it that I should

confounded

this

that

and

me

Like

innocent

was

mele

have

would

"

around

and

seams

worn

buttons.

I have

is

calm

dead
desires

much
better

written, the calm

propitious.

could

not

ingenuitydevise

how

adventure

is

Fortune

same

hurricane.

the word

heart

whose

But

to
"

the best
even

him

who
"

is

onward

lethargy,while the storm


may
prove
this
tried to persuade myself that even
that I could
not
turn
out ill,
by any

is

then

the

upon
than

progress,"on

"

Honesty is
principlethat
"

doubt, thought I, but that

no

policy," pretty

that

misgivings

seeking.

own

my

upon me."
diable qui se

with
the

vogue

which

in

scrape

considerable

of

saying

be

"

' '

justicein

truer

coats

should

absent

"

device.

or

there

was

never

was

the

thrust

"

time

the

suppose

with

reflected

the summary
principlesof
not
yet the knavery was

upon

of

seriouslyof

and

myself,

sun

of fear.

did Nelson

me

the

at

of

for

capable of feeling;

am

passed
approach to low spiritsas I
regular downright depression,

an

near

examine

to

through a
glitteringobject without

look

smoked

in this

enabled

is often

they

as

277

CHRISTOBAL.'"

'

THE

"

it should
skilful

as

otherwise

prove
she

as

charge to her.
Is it my fault,I exclaimed,

is

kind, and

; but
so

I knew

I left the

whole

that

not

am

rich, and

born,
well-

great? Show me any one who would have enjoyed


Is it my
fault that, being poor, ignoble,
privilegesmore.
tastes
and lowly in condition, I have
and aspirations
and

such

at

with

These
lants
ought rather to be stimumy situation ?
I like the theory
to exertion than capricesof Fortune.

war

better,

too ;

devices

If the
he
As
is

am

and

is it not

reduced

prisonersevers

does

not

for me,

on

could.

employ

his fetters

to

to

be

condemned

combat

with

an

such
old

for

natural

nail,it

the

evils ?

is because

"
cold chisel."
possess the luxury of a file or a
the employment of small and insignificant
means

highly distasteful

path

to

hard

foot, I'd

; instead

drive

of

"life's

followingthe
high road

"

lone mountain-

four-in-hand, if I

278

OP

C0NFES8I0NS

furious

CEEQAN.

CON

escape-steam, the quick coming


going of feet, the heavy banging of luggage on the deck,
unmistakable
all the other
signs of approaching departure,

The
and
and

rush

aroused

of

as

me,

the

contemplating the
lay patiently
and

leave-taking,hand-shaking,

of

had

share.

no

passed, and

that

in whom

one

observations
let

to
At

fellows

As

mark

to

each

face

the

only

one,

I knew

whether

not

were

or
fair, smooth-faced
bearded,
necessarilyuniversal, and I was

none

escape

or

the

my

"

pelled
com-

me.

passenger
minutes, I gave

few

lit up

gangway

old, short, slim, fat, or six-foot,

young,

first,each

after

in which

embracing,

eyes

my
interested.

were

brown

whether

the

at

strained

was

ingenious Chico
"

lantern

bustle

up

exterior

the

'*

to be

appeared

"

him

and

of detection.

hope

then,
There

large,
anything,
loose-coated
figures,with leather overalls and riding-whips,
two
of them
with pistolsat their girdles,and
one
or
many
It needed
wearing swords, parading the deck on every side.
ters,
not
the accompaniment of horse-gear, saddles, holsters, halnity
and cavessons
that they belonged to a fraterto show
were

whose

which, in every
a

prescriptiveclaim

natives

of

to

"

World

and

trace

any

of

all of

in their

land

them

were

dark-brown
and

whiskers,

that

has

the New,

or

Although

States, neither

mustaches

there

was

mean

the Old

of

knavery.

United

the

complexions, deep
gestures,

land

might

which

strange

persist

we

The
prairieand the
deeming so purely Anglo-Saxon.
hunting-ground, the life of bivouac and the habit of danger,
there
had
to their looks ; and
was,
imparted its character
and
besides, that ah- of swagger
braggadocio so essentially
in

the

type

of

your
attention

trafficker

in horse-flesh.

If my
had not been turned
to another
subject,I
would
willinglyhave studied a little the sayings and doings
of

this

form

peculiarclass, seeing

one

same

terror
"

heart

"

the

interested

deeply
the

of

of

Can
as

brotherhood
in

him?"

figure after

the careless, indolent

"

but

discovering

ship with me
a
phantom.
this be

that it

"

be

might yet

thoughts

my

Chico," whose

actuallyweighed

on

my

look

the

of the

passenger

as

lot to
too

were

in
presence
mind
like the

question which
where
figurepassed me near
was

my

to

my
I lay ; but

arose

regularlynega-

280

CONFESSIONS

Affecting a heavy slumber,


while
still,

lay, and
if

As

in such

"Came

board

on

of

No

loudly, and
face, bending over

my

cabin-boy,

; about

lay

fectly
per-

me

as

he

of

little

before

left the harbor."

we

"

kind?
that

bundle, Father;

asked

side.

his

at

hours

two

of any

luggage

"A

snored

alone, said you?"

Yes, Father

"

Padre.

the

dirty urchin
"

C REGAN.

marking each detail of my dress and appearance.


turning in my sleep,I contrived to alter my position
face with my
I
manner
that, covering my
a
arm,

watch

could

examined

he

CON

OF

under

his

head, and

nothing

more."

"

Did

he

"

Only

speak
was

"

And

then

"

Just

so

"

That

the

do," said

the

if the

here?

"

after."

him

of

more

no

and

"

in the boat

lay down

; I saw

Quay

the

near

he

will

or

we

'

Hart

White

time

what

at

ask

any questions?"
should
reach Houston,

to you,

lantern

Padre, handing the

to

boy.
will do !

That

I know

me,

thought

Chico, if you

Master

know

well !

as

you

I also.

at least, so I felt
begun between
us,
wards
it. I lay watching my
adversary, who slowly paced backand
into
then
and
to peep
forwards, stopping now
in his own
mind
his
the boat, and doubtless
conning over
plan of attack.

The

We
at

was

game

"

Chico
other

no

"

and
take
passengers
little place called Fork Islaud ; and here I
were

to land

within
"

now

down

at

had
than

discovered
him

Austin

silence

; and

was

lynching" were
fancy to figure as
The

that

myself

"

on

"

that

he

"

deck

would

in Hall's

from

hard

cramped limbs stood


begun to fall,which

take

in need
made

the

could

and

I had

no

that
as

most

I could
arose,

of

see

deck

me

the

in the

therefore,

little exercise, which

of.

be

inevitablyhunt
Now, discovery

showed

soon

That

Court!

gone below, and, so far


them.
with
light, "Chico"
to

end.

chain; and

same

had

couch

half determined

clear, the Padre

links of the

No.

the

was

less evident.

no

but

me,

wood

some

was

should

voyage

my

passengers
uncertain
my

in

some

my

lightdrizzlingrain had
slipperyand uncomfort-

BOARD

"ON

able, and
into which

two

in to

or

my

stand

three

of

barely moved
"It's

the

through

the

"

said

of that I had
it

Not

an

of the reason,

aware

explanation.
reckon," said

get

when

the

journey
at

lay in

Padre, who, with

he, sulky

over,

my young
reminded
me

once

the boat.

umbrella

an

at

I turned,

him,

over

was

me.

much

not

of

sailor, Father," replied I, saluting

respectfullyas

"More

to

already heard

beside

"I'm

said

galley,

sought refuge.

low, silkyvoice, which

the

was

standing
him

of the cook's

had

water.

dirty weather,

being questioned.
"
Impatient, I suppose,

and

door

crew

of the sailors for

one

friend ?

at the

the

281

CHR1STOBAL.'"

'

fog thickened, so that, standing close


our
skipper slackened
speed, till at last we

the

shore,

I asked

THE

rain fell the

the

As

I took

so

OF

spoke.

accustomed

the

to

saddle

than

the

poop-deck?"

he, smiling blandly.

I nodded

assent, and

about

went

land

and

sea

invite

to

saw,

he

life,

passing generalities
skirmishing, as I

some

mere

"

conversation.

Partly weariness, partly a

of discomfort

sense

this man's

of

made
me
presence,
perceived it myself,but he remarked

had

not

and

said,
You

"

with

on

at

the

secution
per-

sigh heavily. I
it immediately,

"

depressed in spirit,
my

are

son

something

is

ing
weigh-

"

your heart !
I looked
up at him, and,
of his real character, I saw,
on

his dark

glitterof
theme
"

which

on

Yes,

Father,"

emotion,
a

that !

with

is indeed
tone

"

voice
but"

heavy;
"I

must

of

well-feigned
here

"

sumed
as-

despond, for all

not

"

I walked

wheel,

as

follow

me

seated

ere

"I

replied I,

daring

more

was

my

bent.

was

heart

"my

he

though

suspicion
a
twinkling
saw,
approaching the

thought

or

as

eye,

he

guided possiblyby

I spoke, and, retiring,


sat down
as
near
away
if to meditate.
I judged that the Padre
would
;

nor

he

was

stood

see," said

respect of

your

I
I wrong
:
side.
at my

he, in
manner,

not

was

mild

voice,

that

you

"

are

"I
one

many

see,

of

the
soon

minutes

from
our

the
own

282

CONFESSIONS

people,

good

"

of

son

CON

OF

CREGAN.

Church.

the

is your

What

native

"

country ?
44
Ireland, Father,"

I, with

said

sigh.
he, benignly ; " happy in
its peaceful inhabitants,
simple-minded and industrious ! "
1 assented, like a good patriot,
but not without
misgivings
that he might have
been just as happy iu another
selection
of our
good gifts.
"
known
of your countrymen," resumed
I have
he,
many
and
with
the same
esteem.
All
they all impressed me
alike frugal, temperate, and
tranquillydisposed."
"Just
sir; and the cruelty is, nobody gives them
so,
11

indeed

land

blessed

"

said

"

"

credit

it !

for

"Ah,

there

son,

my
be, and

may

"

Old

The

error.

World

that it is, ungenerous

heard

1 have

indeed

in

are

you

; but

Here
the ocean.
estimate
cross
we
prejudices cannot
Here
not
we
by our prejudices,but by their merits.
men,
has
Nature
made
him,
as
docile,
recognize the Irishman
and ever
ready
confiding,and single-hearted
; slow to anger,
his passions!
to control
said I, enthusiastically.
"That's
exactly his portrait,Father!
its

"

"

"

Without

"

does

know

not

the

was

comparative

former,

of

running

Padre,

praiseof

Ireland
to
as

tinued
con-

we

with

vying

the

that

country.
long disquisition upon

and

the

Garden

of

Eden,

inclined to the
say, the balance
if struck by a sudden
thought,

first of

nation

in

met

the

mind

disposed to melancholy ! I have just been


I ever
knew, and I
to myself, all the Irishmen
that
had
a
particleof gloom or sorrow
one

over,

very

your

ever

him."

about
14

bound

and

me,

are

recall

cannot

am

of

my

theme, each

somewhat

patriotismand

"

You

frame

merits

that the

"

remarked,
"

in

that

creature

"

"

my
beside

down

sat

still our

say most
at the close of

in which,

"

he

could

who

other

kind,

any

captivatedby

so

Ireland

make

to

of

stratagem !

or

that

warmth

generous

It

wile

priestseemed

The

double

Nor

know
hearted

had

what

and

I, Father," said
sorrow

happy

was,
; the

I, with emotion;

till three
world

went

days
well

back
with

"

I
me,

nor
was

and

did

lightI

was

BOARD

"ON

with

content

OF

when

that

say

283

CHRISTOBAL.'"

'

will

world.

the

story ; enough

THE

trouble

not
I

abroad

carne

with

you

my

indulge

to

World
enterprise,and that the New
has not disappointed my
a
expectations. If I spent money
the governor
little too freely,an
odd
grumble or so from
An
horizon.
the
darkest
cloud
that shaded
only
was
my
too
somewhat
far;
perhaps I pushed that prerogative
son,
and

adventure

for

taste

'

'

but
the

extravagant,

call them

might
do

of

reverse

these

Nay, nay,
unlikelythat one
"

upon
"Not

as

This

are

you

is

have

can

any

"not

"

language my

heart

if

as

to

and

from

pours

with

warm

reveal

still,my
these

candid

as

tell

that

be

sit still,and

son,

about

was

mysterious
;

your

lated
ill-regu-

irrepressibleemotion.

"

may

give

lips,"said I,

my

"

of

to
To

me,"
whom

upon

mine

your

breast
shadow

said
can

fittinglythan

more

weighs

word

mere

to rise.

terrors

what

me

listen

the

"

my

"

restraining me,

next

or

I have

here !
and
I struck
heavy crime here
violently; and if it be as yet unaccomplished,
of the guiltis on me
already."

Be

yet;

"

Sit

ever."
for-

is very
real guilt

to-morrow

trick of

"

grasping his hand

"

why

It

shudder,

them

thus.

way

"

some

is the

"It

with

done

it may
be with me
different answer
should

some
fancy,
imagination, my son."

have

have

are

class,

Alas

simplicity.

give

not

his

of

man

tell how

can

day? "What
question then
"

in

yet, Father," said I, with

who

but

must

you

young
conscience."

his

things?

habits

father's

my

for

"

rustic

downright

of

think

and

is unencumbered,

estate

our

to

he,
you
me?
It

heart.

can

give

you

speak in kindness,

you

courage

calm."

and
"

but

That

"

are

know

you

Father,

of

Mine

"Vows

what

not

under

am

"Well, my

as
"

"

vows
"

be," said I, firmly;

cannot

son,

are

penitence, and

is

none

if I

was

promise.

you
vow."

there

many
of

"

vows

under

meritorious.

chastity,and

of

am

of abstinence

vow,

There
"
"

ance,
these," said I, with a low, gutturalutterI spoke.
biting each word

of chastisement

"
"

284

CONFESSIONS

"Not
my

that,
to

low

to

commit

oath

before

me,
.; but

whisper,
murder

is

word

my

that
ceremony
through with it !
every

all the

see

CON

CREGAN.

either!"

that

not

voice

OF

cried

said,

I; then, dropping

I have

"

I know

the full

I have

"

it

solemn

guilt of

both

consequences,

pledged,
can
give

sworn

here

taken

what

and

after
here-

the oath
and

solemnity;

is

with

I '11 go

"

"

is

"There
must

give
I look

"

either

you

for

hands

my

circumstances

the

recount

can

mystery in all this,"said

"

last to whom

comfort

neither,
I

about

mine,

of whose

but

"

can

of

reveal

fortnight ago,

on

at

name,

"

you

singularpledge, ere

for neither

hope

Padre;

counsel."

or

shall hear

you

ever

this

the

"

said

I, wringing

my story,
you are the
I arrived at New
Orleans
"

it !

cruise

yacht

least, you

with
have

may

friend

heard,

of
Sir

"

Dudley Broughton."
The

"

the

with

Padre,

keeping

with

"

The

same;

"

Oh,

no;

his

You

you

I cannot

"

He

"

I did

"That

then, acquainted with

are,

gold

was

I '11hasten

river

whither

band

how

me;

We
next

accident

man

on

it?

round

on

him?"

the wharf

when

Orleans."

New

at

young

key-bugle
perceive him."

on.

quite in

not

the poop

in

forag-

"

I did."

say
carried a
not

"

Firefly,'said

subject

accidentallystanding

was

the

on

'

costume.

came

"

schooner, the

animation

an

his

ing-cap, with

by

handsome

up the
did n't remark

yacht

"

of

owner

at New

should

I then!

was

bend

Orleans,
our

Weil, well,
mined
quite deter-

not

steps

; and

hearing

expedition,we took it into


heads we
would
our
join it. On inquiringabout the matter,
found
that a lotterywas
in progress,
the prizesof which
we
various portions of equipment, horses, mules, baggage,
were
and
For
this
so
on.
we
just out of caprice
negroes,
mere

of

different

arrived
we

in his hand."

this Texan

"

"

took

several

drawing

tickets ; but

as,

from

one

cause

or

other, the

delayed, we lingered on, going each day to


there
office,and
making acquaintance with a number
fellows interested
in the expedition,but whose
manner
not
style,I need scarcelysay, were
good recommendations
was

the
of
and

BOARD

"ON

OF

'

THE

285

CHRISTOBAL.'"

intimacy. Broughton, however, always liked


with
him, had always the
thing ; low company,
to

that he could

amusement
he

as

intimate

more

grew

with

kind

charm

of

fancied.

he

resign whenever

that

fellows, he

these

of
an

Now,
obtained

they held in an obscure part of


the
thither we
town, and
generallyrepaired every evening,
when
too late for any more
correct
all,
society. They were
in
least
interested
at
Texan
or
they affected to be,
tions
expediadmission

into

; and

conversation

the

concerned

what

notions

of club

kind

these

than
turn
any other
if at first our
Old World

and

objects ;

at their indifference

shocked

were

took

never

to

less
the reck-

life,
"

and
we
good faith they evinced,
disregard of honor
came
by degrees to feel that the moral code of the Prairies
sanctioned
in more
never
permitted many
things which were
"

cultivated
"

latitudes.

interest.

Nothing

made

me

was,

ladies
and

convert

Be

'

trick

or

tomahawk.'

gave

mind

in wood

to

As

one

discussion
where
could

course

; and

for

we

might

houses

which

Thus,
be

heard

of

be

must

stop

we

make

must

up

expedition drew
the

nothing
for

the

significanthints
or

the

became

found

my

but

theme

guides

cattle, and
about

believed

to

be

of

certain

nigh,

nightly

and

trails,

where

water

places

inimical

and

these

to

the

marked
certain villages
were
map,
under
certain
contribution, and
log-

on

put

should

convent

schemes

be

it,I

reach

we

startingof

known

were

which

other.

the

and

to
grass was
be had, with

excursions.

ere
or

plans

people who

was

; and

the time

the various

theory; but partly


position,
yielding pliancy of dis-

I
anything the expedition exacted.
light yonder is on Fork Island, where

brief; that

it

never

either

are

with

through
take

which

weapons,
liked the

from
into it,I
being shamed
great measure
joined him in all the pledges he gave, to go

and

way,

speech

constant

in

and

"

own

daily iteration,partly from

from

to

His

please, my dear fellow, among


fight Choctaws, Pawnees,
pray

you

their

with

extraordinary

most

too

opinions.

; but

gentlemen

half-breeds

his

as

wild,

abandoned, and too


to say it,he soon
and, I shame

too

to

virtuous

as

and

seemed

his notions

for

outrageous

into all this with

entered

Broughton

be

to be

made

to

mulcted

pay
and

heavy impost

there, a

store

or

here,

mil]

^86

OF

CONFESSIONS

burned

be

to

had

friend who

Not

"

of

all, my

at

all this ?

dered,
mur-

or

expiation.
"

"

recognize perfectlythe accuracy


these
heard
a
good deal about

; I

have

robbed,

or

required an

fortunes

or

son

account.

your

maltreated,

Padre, with

you,

weary

as

was

fate

whose

and
But

fulfil

to

vengeances

many
each

to have
as
expedition seemed
hopes of pin to gratify; for

In fact, the

CRKGAN.

CON

people."
There

""

that

one

of

would

you

incarnate

devil

individual, however,

one

was

of the

vengeance
his fate should
this

prize
"

claim

the

have

not

he

that

injured me,

ever

of

clews
track

to

am

that,

if the

will ;

yet,

unlucky

lot fell upon


I

me,

the first

won

should

"

man.
on

that

gained

my

to

way

days

well

Ay,

I cannot

not

equally

am

name

voice, while

did

resolved

ago

even

pretend
him

seen
even

; nor,

; I

now,

his hand,

he

as

not

were

the

cried
on

it I

do

survive

this barrel

myself !

laid it

deed, and
to

never

"If

"

say?"

you

if I

I 'd do

my revolver.
Chico, this other is for

"What

mon
com-

provided with
aid I
and certain guides by whose
at Houston,
it solemnly
him.
My oath is pledged : I swore

produced

Here

name

I have

findinghim out,

in

could I succeed
certain

his

nay,
till two

"

the

heard

of revenge.

excuse

kind

I may
as
less than a murder
!

nothing

was

last decided

I,

am

murder

it is

"

the poor

even

heard

never

word,

true

here

of

Every

him

that whoever

and

commit

and

at

was

have
may
you
finish this wretched

distinction

prize

my

employ

hate.

on

which

of

right to

this infamous

wreak

to

It

company.

lotteried,and

be

mare

the

win

also

allotted

be

kind

against him, and, in fact, there

grudge
strugglewho should
had

general

such

incurred

have

to

been

have

he must

suppose

tested
universallyde-

so

it."

be

"

for the

"

he, with

arm,

my

faltering

shook

like

ague.
"

Chico, the wretch

called," I said, fixinga cap

is

on

my

pistol.
"And

why

injured you?
kindly hearted
them

which

call him

wretch,

my

that
know
you
creature, the father of

How

do

baby, perhaps? How


and
he gains his living,

son?
he

Has

is not

he

some

five children,

ever

poor,
one

of

tell the difficulties !"y


you
he exposes
the hazard
to which
can

288

is

CONFESSIONS

do

I
; but
paroxysm
fancy I see the fellow,

not

for

another,

"

said
saw

never

below

go down
only taken

in

now

heart!

my

But

before.

name

expression I

sadder

close

never

in

; go

down,

one

the other;

that

eyes

my

shape, now
thousand
a
disguises; while
is always ringing."

assume

from

pity you

can

his accursed

ears

my

he

CREGAN.

CON

of

kind

""F

and

in

tainly
cer-

in any human
face
I beseech
you."

deck-passage,"said I, doggedly ;
"
that I would
I determined
no
see
one, speak to no one."
"
Nor
need
son," said he, coaxiugly.
They
you,
my
I
all sound
are
asleep in the after-cabin ; take my berth,
do not want
it;I am always better upon deck."
"I

have

"

"

life,not

yourselfby
spoken.
of

any

said to you

I have

false idea of

others, sworn

to

but, for your

Do

him,

deceive

not

Were

humanity.

could not save


I stand, you
If /fail, there is Broughton,

where

me

of what

word

"

it so," said I, yielding


;

will have

If you

"

to shoot

you

his doom

"

and, after him,

is

score

the work."

do

yourself,"said he, leading me to the


must
speak of this to-morrow."
companion-ladder ; "we
to the cabin.
I squeezed his hand, and slowly descended
that he might give the
to me
At first the thought occurred
and

alarm
so
was

calm

and

Lie down

"

have

me

seized ; but

then

this would

expose

escape, it
deck showed

palpably to my recognition,should I chance


The stillness ou
unlikelyhe would do so.
I

me

in this latter estimate, and

correct

was

berth, and, while

comfortable

his
over

me,

thought I had

ribs of the

"

made

to

I turned

so

the

I drew

capitalexchange

into

counterpane
the hard

for

long-boat."

If my
stratagem had succeeded in impressing my
own
Chico with a most livelyfear, it did not leave my
at

him

perfecttranquillity.I
and

infinite resources,

knew

that he must

between
the game
In circumstances

that

be

us,

friend
mind

fellow

of

in all likelihood,

difficulty,
I have
constantly made a practiceof changing places with
antagonist,fancying myself in his position,and asking
my
This
taking the "adversary's
myself how I should act?
had

hand
an

"

but

commenced.

practicein

is admirable

immense

range

of

the game
combinations, and

of

of life ; it

improves

suggests

oue's

play

prodigiously.
I

now

began

to

myself

little exercise

after this fashion

but what
and

and,
awoke

in

said, "Where's

eyes,
of him?"
He

"

he'll go

back

with
know

"You

with

fellow

close

I rubbed

the

sleep from

steward?

my
become

what's

"

at Fork

Island

Galveston."

to

at

the

how

to

I, looking

said

intelligencethat

shrewd

as

suppose?"

him,

into the

standing

to-morrow

us

head

are,

night,and stopped

illlast

took

was

only

was

we

Padre,

the

"

get up?
and,

ness,
weari-

came

that

his greasy

here

cabin,

changed placesso

sound

"

of the

ensued, then

say, master,

advised

he

as

warmth

and

sleep, so
he popped

as

better

n't you

I did

"I

said,

and

had

last, sound

at

the steward

by

berth

real bed, Chico

289

CHRISTOBAL."'

brain, that confusion

in my

often,

of

luxury

'

previousfatigue,the

between

the

THE

OF

BOARD

"ON

he

knew

construe.

cried

"Well,"
do

he, scratching his head,

he is."
guess a bit who
"
So do I, steward ; and

me"

said

saw

the

I, with
fellow

look

for

myself and
forgetthe name,

him

both

escape
don't

again, he'll know


that
imposing sternness

such

here

he is

"

tell him
so,
may
till I catch him ; and if he

friend

my

meet

we

recording it.

was

I '11 wait

steward.

of

when

well, mayhap

"

"

You

Broughton,

deeper

than

Broughton

"

give

him

credit

for."
I

As

of

corner

the

of

about

was
a

to

berth.

again meeting
as

with

the

red handkerchief
drew

kit, which
travelling
such

leave

It

priests wear,
few

peeping out

it forth, and
he

me.

cabin, I caught sight of the

found

it

preferred abandoning
contained
Romish

small

missal,

articles of

common

beneath

the
was

black

dress, and

risk of

the

to

pillow
Chico's

skull-cap

string of beads,
eight dollars in

silver.
"

The

spoilsof victory,"quoth I, embodying


bundle : " the enemy's baggage and

own
my
chest captured."
"

now

Which

is the

crowded
"This

waiter's

with

way,
dress

shore.
vol.

:.

"

19

White

"

said

I, as

shore

sir,
"

; and

Hart?

folk, porters, and


follow me," said a

I handed

him

my

the whole
the

came

in

military
on

deck,

waiters.
smart

bundle

and

fellow

in

stepped on

THE

WAS

scarcely

had

Butcher's

with

belted

"Yes,
a

bargain

of

If

had

"

"

Seth

You

'd

never

said

her

see

she

man,
she

Maine

stump

the

red

she

days."

at Austin

next

the

equestrian-

steamer.

said

fellow,

huge

and

sheepskin

sash.
You'll

stands.

of these

ana

into

out

those

leather,

with

week

for

be

the

getting

fair, she 'd

dollars."
of

selling

like that

beast

Austin,

at

bystander.
Do

claimed

in

once

meeting

her
'

I knew

last year

the
that

month,

in Vermont,

of

town

every

stolen

had

I '11 bring her

fancy

you

two-year-old.

frontier

board

on

there

think

's been
a

was

up

hundred

not?

Why

and

'

"

one

her

few

"

of

prize

my

passed

still,Georgie?"

him

Seth,

her,

many

red-brown

round

bring

of

Master

with

BRAZOS.

see

than

seen

here

boots

to

inn

the

had

mare

high

capote

AT

impatience

crowded

stable-yard, now
looking figures
"

all

entered

LOG-HUT

an

in

and

old
he

change

into

Union?

rid her
his

Why,
has, since

mare

general
of

States,

the

own

up
away

in

the

from

mule,

"

LOG-HUT

THE

and

blind,

"

know'd

never

returned

who

the fellow

to

of

roar

Seth

but

nigh home.
Muckleburg

was

her

for

lameness

resumed,

new

; and

unbelieving laughter followed

very

as

she

can."

she

pretend lameness,
A

differ till he

her

stained

can

the

291

BRAZOS.

Scott of
twice, myself, in one week.
her
off fore-leg white, and
sold her back,

I sold

one,

AT

this

sally,

"

Well, I'll lay fiftydollars with any gentleman here that


of the stable dead
out
she comes
lame, or all sound, just as I
"

her."

bid

to fancy this wager


Nobody seemed
;
his
with having established
veracity,went

've but

"You

touch

to

point of

your bowie,
if she won't
come

see
a

dead

"

touch,

mere

limping

out

she 's all

"

"

Who

's

"

I have,

as

and

"

one

as

bit then

with

Wrecksley

was

her

that

of

way,

her."

found
"

her

lame

to

all

toe,

It

used

blood,

the

cried

another.

gentlemen," said I, slapping my boot with


affecting a very knowing air as I spoke.
turned
round
and
seconds
some
surveyed me

and

cane,

the

on

"

draw

not

joint; rub

he

her this time?

won

on,

the off- foot with

right again !

taught her the trick ;


he
buy her in, wherever

and

of

coronet

in the coffin

breakdown

hand,

your
Ohio

the

Seth, satisfied

and

my
The
in

company
deep silence.

a-goin'to ride her, young


contemptuously.
"No, he an't; the gent's willin' to
"

You

"

'un?

an't

said one,

her,"

sell

half

chimed

in

another.

goin'

"He's

third,

an'

"

to

an't

ax

three

me

a-goin'

to

hundred

dollars," said

gi' him

no

than

more

two

hundred."
"

"

You
's

He

for

her

all

are

bringing
I

England,

beg

to say,

gentlemen,

correct

right track yet;


more
fully.
you

interest

in my

the

upon

hack

of

man

every

you,"

present

for

said
the

Seth.

Queen,

ridin'."

own

"And

wrong,
her to

for my

thing, clever

concerns,

servant's
to go,

But

"

hit

it necessary
to take
appear

to

you

think

you
mention
a

have

of

none

as

may

riding,
and

do

nor

that

that

shall want

an
a

short-legged,square- jointed

good feeder, not

much

above

four-

292

CONFESSIONS

in

hands

you

chance

upon

this

"

I know

your

mark."

"

My

with

roan,

no!

"No,

dollars

price. If

in

"
"

You

wall-eye.

the

black

my

CHEGAN.

hundred

four

height,or

teen

CON

OF

mare's

pony

don't

the

mind

the

thing

eye?"
wall-

gent's

for."

lookin'
"I
wantin'

half-bred

with

mustang,

through fire and


high-pressure piston,and

critter to
like

like

the

in Seth.

nothing like it," broke

it's

say

go

recoil

of

down-east

water

liftin' the

with

of

jerk

a-

cross,

"

fore-legs

the

eight-pounder. An't

brass

"He's

'

'

stifle

near

the

mark?"
very wide of it," said
You
's at Austin
now.

"

Not

"

She

"

Yes," said I;

"

Well,

never

pony," cried

one.

Nor

roan

"

the

ask

You

go ?

"

said

'em

see

the cap

feedin'

himself,

time

After

I had

sees

She 's

got the key.


to

no

but

one,

double-

corn."

her

remarks

this

on

caution, the horse-

of the

and

boded

any

that

bolt

a-

comes

yard, leaving me
musing
care
wondering if this excessive
suspicion regarding the winner

over

of
of

prize.
Jist draw

"

the

he

gives it

give

to

out

heard,

n't

never

muttered

sauntered

landlord

the

"

few

dealers

the

black

my

another.

'fore

have

'n

locked, and

what

see

ostler.

to the

one

an't, because

"

till you

"

for

"

week."

next

the-wind, then,
Split've only to
look at 'em arter," said Seth.
You
not
Seth Chiseller,and they '11look me
up."
an't a-goin'to let us see Butcher's
afore we
mare

he 'd

or

"

a-goin'there?

deal

cob," shouted

'd better

He

"

make

you

an't

in Austin

I shall be

"

I, nodding encouragingly.

ostler,while
'em

I know

eyes

in

'em

shows

gi' 'un
your
that's

his

he

well, them
horse

blood

name."

gents.
have

beast

spavin

ticket,young
her

produced

head, and
a

the gate, there, will

across

in

'em
Darn

huge key
A

me

squirt of

master, and

and
coarse

front
! if

tobacco!

I '11 show

his
have

must

man

back

from

you

ye," said
pocket.
fourteen

too, that

they
Let's

can't
see

Charcoal,

"

THE

"Here
all

it

right and

"

The

is," said I,

cap'n

entered

the

signed by

"

293

BRAZOS.

AT

agent

Galveston,

at

regular."
must

the number.
ye have
side.
Ye '11 see
her

He

LOG-HUT

the

see

to

that.

only

Yes, that 's it ;


when

stable

she
as

he

comes

now

want

stand

to know
a

bit

that
on

one

out."

spoke,

and

soon

re-appeared,

leading a tall mare,


high, and black as
fully sixteen hands
jet ; a single white star on her forehead, and a dash of white
her.
She was
ing
burstthe tail,being the only marks
on
across
with

condition, and

splendid creature.

both

in

symmetry

and

action

294

CONFESSIONS

An't

"

she

he, gazing
nor

wag
moon?

the

gal with

mistake?"

no

An't

"

said

she

'em, and

look

her, here !

at

move

round
me

An't

she

sittin' on?"

raptures. She

perhaps,

that

eye backwards,

the white.
"The

CREGAN.

lightnin',and

rapture.

into all his

her

"she

like

save,

"

with

her

ankles

point,

of

CON

glibber to
of a comet's
he's taking a lark
tail,when
There's
hocks!
there's
pasterns! Show

I entered

throw

streak

on

for

a-made

OF

I remarked
fault

only
mistrusts

in

and

looking

show

this to the
she

in every
she would

faultless

was

at

you
little bit too

much

of

ostler.

has," said

he, shaking his head;

body always, and so she's eternallya


lookin' back, and a gatherin'up her quarters, and
holdin'
a
of her tail tight in ; but for that, she 's a downright reg'lar
there
ain't her
beauty, and for stride and bottom
equal
a

nowhere."
"Her

late

master

unlucky,

was

I've

heard,"

said

I,

insinuatingly.
"He
over

so

was
a

torrent

she

won't

bear

took

the

leap ;

high

and

under

sit his beast


unlucky that he couldn't
and a down
leap. He would hold her in, and
it at a spring,and so she flung him before she
far

and

her hind

his arm,

See now,

and

then

rightdown

ye

do

want

great streak out of


her wi' your calves, and
a

bit, press
reg'larhalloo, ha ! like
free

Mexican

chap

"

ostler

found

the

ever

"

it !

on

lit,'t other side, with her head


his 'n
a sittin' with
legs under her, he was
that was
o' it.
his neck brack,
the way

master, if

she '11do

The

she

"

her, leave the head

give a

when

animal's

willing listener,either when


perfections,or suggesting hints

me

ing
dwell-

for

her

themes
these
when
at last both
management
; and
the
me
were
tolerably exhausted, he proceeded to show
horse-gear of saddle, and bridle, and halter, and holsters,
future

all

handsomely

finished

in Mexican

taste, and

studded

with

produced
and
of Colt's making,
the rifle, a regularKentucky one,
what
he considered
a still greater prize, a bell-mouthed
thing
"
called
which
he
half horse-pistol,half
a
blunderbuss,
throw
thirt}*
almighty fine Harper's Ferry tool,' that would
inches thick."
bullets through an oak panel two
brass

nails

in

various

gay

devices.

At

last

he

"

"

'

296

CONFESSIONS

CON

OF

CREGAN.

to these, admitted
possessions,not to say that my title,even
notion
kind
of vague
of litigation.A
possessed me that,
find my
where,"
once
place u someup with the expedition,I should
Irish idea of a responsible situation.
I
a
very
trusted
to the "making
myself generally useful"
category
to a ready-wittedness never
for employment, and
cramped
restrained
nor
by the petty prejudicesof a conscience.
The
love
adventure
is conspicuous
of
enterprise and
in Irish life,occasionallydethe springs of action
veloping
among
Peninsular
a Captain Rock.
a Wellesley or
glories
the
and
have
same
one
origin, a love
predialoutrage
just
of distinction, and
a
craving desire for the enjoyment of
that most
whatever
fascinatingof all excitements,
perils
"

"

"

life.
this

Without

skulls

cracked

the
element, pleasure soon
palls; without
"
and
fractured
femurs," fox-hunting would

might vie
galloping; a review
they fire blank cartridge in both ! Who
of Mont
the '" petit mulets
Bot, or cross
be

with

mere

'd climb

"

that

not

false

thousand

or

with

Death

deep

possibly the attraction


invalid, and passing their lives
is very

blue
I

from

man

if

opens
noble

amid

This

playing

great charm,

and

feel in

folks

some

down

playing
draughts and

black

lotions !

shrewdly suspect

and

have

to

seems

him

send

below.

gorge

the Peter

Blanc, if it were

would

totter

into the

fathoms

hide-and-seek

step

battle, if

we

were

the

way

the

this

luxury

whole

to

examine

to

many

of

it
of

guishes
tempting peril distin-

of

the

animal

other

should

little,we

creation
see

that

highest aspirings and


let not
the gentle reader
horse-stealingin the list of
his

it

most

ask,
enterprises. Now,
these
Mr.
Does
Cregan include
he does
not ; he rather
Believe
heroic darings?
garded
reme,
in the
the act of appropriation in the present case
noble lords did when
voting away church property,
lightsome
but preferableto being mulct oneself !
"a hard necessity,
silent
out into the now
With
a thought like this, I rode
many
"

"

"

"

town, and
It

is

thousands
of

took

my

towards

way

strange

thing

of

from

isolation

miles

is almost

to

Austin.

find oneself

home,

alone, and

overwhelming.

in
at

So

foreign land,

night ;

long

as

the B6B86

daylight

LOG-HUT

THE

stir of

lasts, the
ward

these

off

above

the

us

self-same

that
the

we

sensation

Every
that

of

us

the

suggests

of

he

tie

of

and

ago,

then

think

link to all around

or

The

lovers'

walk

at

us,

evokes

the

hut

of which

have

we

roar,

lion.

hungry

of

something

his childhood

; and

dark

gypsy
camp.
dwellers : the Sierra

But

surely

as
or

different

the dull

; and

ciate
asso-

the

sunset

woodman's

in

read

will

"

with

scene

read

highly exciting;

jaguar
river

like wind
The

long

as

brigand ; the thick


the heavy plash in the muddy

is

and

imaginative,even

has

the

cayman
the cry of

see

world, with

new

we

lands, the

years
a

life
even

and

in other

jungle, the

the

scene

in,

wandered

of

go, with images to suit the spot in


little pathway along the river side

we

as

speaks of
abroad, the scene

objects

known

foreign

of which

grove

the

closed

hemisphere

least

the

"

"

country.

own

has

features

alone, without

people vacancy,

our

the

another

strangeness

adventure

of

business

thrillingin its intensity.

is

one

the

we

there

are

novelty

light we

mark

tell of

objects which

the

have

we

whose

and

and

night

that

by

around

the

"

when

stars

moon

look

then

thoughts,

297

BRAZOS.

world

busy

the

thern ; but

combats

AT

suggests
the rattlesnake

or

is the

within

sound

is

cavern,

around

presence
ago, but

of

of

us

expected
place among

never

it is like

taking our
a
investingus with an interest to
ourselves, as the hero of some
unwrought history.
This
is the most
since we
fascinating of all castle-building,
have a spot for an edifice,
a territory
actuallygiven to us.
I thought long upon
this theme, and wondered
to what
I
to

see,

the characters

story, and

of

"

was

yet destined,
to

or

of

spectators
believe

this

its flatness
seemed

move

on

life,but

to

its

never

I would

of

vulgar

herd

conspicuous
its

from

interest,

so

who

to

nence,
emi-

are

I
me

the

really
from

humility.

mere

and

tame

real

actors.

distasteful

more

of

so

It

nous,
monoto-

peril and vicissitude any day in


About
Croft's
preference.
midnight I reached
Gulley,
after
for
where,
some
time, a very sulky old negro
knocking
admitted
house

was

have

all

condition

some

that

among

was
ignoble course
and
insipiditythan

devoid

so

whether

"

into

me

stable

while

baited

up for the night; and


I could
have
obtained
not

shut

refreshment,

chosen

my

even

it.

The

mare.

had

sought

298

CONFESSIONS

After

through

but

anything

on

and

holes
with

surface

good

light of

made
over

piue forest, and,

close

travel

the caution

led

praised,was

much

however

to

road, which

the

ever,
Charcoal, how-

on.

difficulties,and

with

picked

of

her

steps

ing
trapper, detect-

venturing
ground, and never
I left her to
or
danger existed.
any difficulty
instinct

spots where

the safe

curious

it was

herself, and

such

stumps

rare

CREGAN.

halt, I again resumed

brief

CON

OF

to

that

see

whenever

short

val
inter-

footway intervened, she would, as if to " make


play,"as the jockeys call it,strike out in a long swinging
the uneven
the moment
canter, "pulling up" to the walk
better

of

admonished

surface

her

caution.

to

able to
improved so that I was
I found
push along at a better pace, and by breakfast-time
myself at a low, poor-looking log-house called "Brazos."
child
receiving
as
a
A
young
picture representing Texas
counsel
from
admirable
a
matronly lady with
some
very
the door, with
her petticoat,flaunted
over
thirteen stars on
Filial Affection, and Candy Flip at all hours."
the motto,
loose
in a flannel pea-jacket and
A large,dull-eyed man,
seated in a rocking-chairat the door,
to match, was
trousers
circle of expectoration
cigar, a little charmed
smoking an enormous
the assaults of the
him from
seeming to defend
vulgar. A huge can of cider stood beside him, and a piece
the

day broke,

As

road

"

Indian

of

bread.

corn

He

I dismounted,

as

nor

eyed
did

with

me

show

he

the

the

coolest

cern
uncon-

slightestsign

of

welcome.
said I, salutinghim.
inn, I believe, friend?"
it to be a hotel," said he, in a voice very like a

is

"

This

"

I take

an

yawn.
"

And

"

Where

landlord, where
he ought to be,

"

is he?

the

"

at

his

own

door,

smokin'

his

rearin'."

own
"

Is

there

horse, and
"

There

"No

ostler

an

get

some

to

be

breakfast

found?
for

an't none."

help?"

"

Never

"

That

"

No,

was."
's

singular,I fancy."

it an't."

I want

myself too."

to

refresh

my

THE

"Why,

what

"There

bean't

"No

travellers."

"It

travellers!

this

and
!

towns

cattle,then?"

the

high

road

between

two

"

an't."

"

Why,

"

It an't."

"

Then

this is not

"

It be

Upper

"

There

on

their

none."

cattle?"

considerable

with

do

299

BRAZOS.

AT

travellers

"No

"No

is

do

LOG-HUT

the

surely this

are

Brazos?

to Austin?"

"

Brazos."

two

Austin

is the road

of

road

them, then;
?

"

and

the

other, I suppose,

300

OF

CONFESSIONS

He

CREGAN.

CON

nodded.

What

kk

have

astray ?

come

""

good bit."

"

mile

"

Twenty."

"

Will

sighed I;

business!"

of

piece

"and

how

far

"

two?"

or

be kind
enough to be
you
and
just say where this road
the Austin
road without
turning back

little

cative,
communi-

more

leads to; if I

again

join

can

where?"

; and

propounded any one of these queries, it is just possible


I might have
had
in
I
witted
outan
but,
answer;
my zeal,
for too large an
check
myself. I drew
amount,
my
refused
consequently was
payment altogether.
said
and
vain wait for an answer,
after
Well,"
a long
I,

Had

and
u

"what

am

do

to

with

horse?

my

is

There

stable, I

hope?"
"

There

"

So

"

No

"

Bad

cup
A

an't," said he, with

that I can't bait my


!

enough
coffee

rude

"What

he, and

with

for

myself,

his

own

the flannel

"

man

thoughts.

"

It

taxes

I an't very like old Hickory,


!
want
to be !
I 'm a free Texan
I

' '

blue-nose

black

said

says it ought to be like it?


flared up, and
his yellow cheeks

fishyeyes

nor

"

and

me,

WTho

I an't

"

said
grew

s'pose!
I an't

of your
old country
boots, and ask leave to

one

King George's

I an't."

I," said

I, assuming

experiment's sake, "I


tobacco-chewing Texan
pay

to eat

he, wiping his eyes.


like it,certainly,"said I, smiling.

slaves, that
his
pay
"And

I reckon

House,

with anger.
orange
and maybe I don't

nigger

something

laughter stopped
the drolleryof

very
o' that?
his

I have

"

of

burst

Astor

"Not

Can

"

actuallyshook

"

beast?

"

of

bean't

grunt.

am

no

! but

imitation

his tone, for

of

lazy,rocking-chair,whittling,
able and willing to
a traveller,

and

his accommodation,

an

who

will have

it,too !

"

cried he, springing up with


ye? Will ye, then?"
an
agilityI could not have believed possible ; while, rushing
into the hut, he reappeared with a long Kentucky rifle,
and
"

Will

bayonet a- top

of

it.

"

Ye

han't

long

to

seek

yer

man,

if

THE

want

ye
*

powder !

of

flash

LOG-HUT

AT

BRAZOS.

Come

out

"
it out,' I say !
of this challenge was
tone
The

301
into

the

bush

and

see

and
huge staplebeside the door, I unslung my rifle,
Come
along, my friend ; I'm quite ready for you !

to a

mare

"

cried,

daunted

Nothing
back

the

hammer

You

can't

un

of

the semblance

least

at

rusty !
The

; and

give me

to

of

carries
but

him

St.

at

twenty
loose

Louis

here

upon

are

myself, too
into

iron

true

'

its

was

stock

of

my

for

jackets,'as

we

he, his

tongue seeming
Now, lad, let 's see if

"

she 's

heavy one,
nothing in her

I 've

; and

the

bears

with

you

tin

and

now

iron for the bears."

"

that

striking the ground with

you
a

You

lead

supposed,

ought to have for such


seed
"Well, I never
.don't stand

oddity

in the

theme.

barbarian

bush,

the

its

case

cried

pound

supply

to

fit this bore

chips of

such

the

"

"

the

by

the

to

chips of
hear

small

chaps,

bullets

your

Loose

came

young
considerable

some.

's real

say

some

mortal

Mine

singular, but

opening

wonderfully loosened
one

two

or

cap

rather

was

so,

gave
Ah, them

used

threw

at

of

request

rifle,I
"

apparent willingness,he
my
his lock, and
said, " Hark
ye,

"

"

success

out

insultingnot to call for


acceptance ; and so, fasteningmy
too

thought I ; did ever


don't fancy, friend, I

and

when

had

powder,
asked

you

everything

to

to

me
a

be

used
come

gentleman

purpose."
the

like

of

the butt

end

that!"
of

exclaimed

his

piece.

"

he,
If

we

"

four

guns' length
We
'11do no such thing, friend," said I, shouldering my
"
I never
meant
to offend
piece,and advancing towards him.
have you any object in wounding, mayhap killing,
you ; nor
Let me
have
me.
something to eat ; I '11 pay for it freely,
and go my
ways."
"What
airth is it, eh?"
said he, looking puzzled.
on
that's one
of Colt's rifles! you'd have
"Why,
picked me
down
hundred
at two
is Gabriel."
yards, sure as my name
"
I know
the better or
it,"said I, coolly; " and how much
at

"

"

the

happier should

the fellow's

passed in

pasty

the

I have

been, had

countenance

muddy

bottom

as

I done

though

of his mind.

so?"
I could

I watched

read

what

302
"If

it

I should

sorrowfully,

"

"

The

"

The

said

double

recount
the

's

I did n't wait

way

for

his

hav'n't

he, with

now

"Good
with
her

hut,

kind

but

"

's

that

you,"

to

is

throat

my

"
"

invitation,but carried

it for full

got any

n't,ye 'd

as

for my
if she

off your
with
creature

saddle

take

he

the

formal

couple of

fact !

"

said

bread?"

more

it

minutes.

he, peering into

said I,

nearer

capable

was

I will

not

my

got that

have

not

; you

mare

belonged

peculiarleer of the
foal ! Ah,
Charry,

of the

ing
appropriatlad ! "

easy,

so

said

grin.

And

"

thing

own.

If I had

"

Ohio."

of the vessel.

watermark

Yrou

twenty yards.

of

Millis,

more

"

"

and

so

lips,and so held
Ye wor
drouthy,

the low

"

hundred

many
towards

to my
"

off !

confoundedly weary just now


cider," said he, pointing to the crock.
I feel

and

That

"

at

Gideon

up

I could

I, leading

dry,

so

plumper

the

cleared

smoke

the

was

Ah,

"

the

up

him

seen

Ebe-

pantomime of presenting a
His brothers
a mau
falling. " Just so.
into this
down
pursuit,and so I came
made

of

then

(punter till
He

"

saiiR'

taken

"

New

know

you

I,

senator?"

pistol,and
have

"Well,

know

You

to-day.
perhaps

added

"

York?

uezer

this kind,"

of

be here

not

nodded.

He

Oilcans?"

CBEGAN.

something

for

not

wi-iv

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

richer

a
"

eye.
Miss

approach

good

"

one
"

"

said

he,

her well ! knowed

forget the

you

teeth?"
to

master!

I know

! do

your

she 's

and

kindness

he

way

patted

than

to

the

I believed

of.

dwell

friend

with

to

see

upon

the

Gabriel,

little arts

nor

stop

to say

ciliate
employed to conto
how
I managed

tion
horse, and the addimy
to my
of a very tough piece of dried beef
own
meagre
to escape
the reader will be as eager
breakfast.
I conclude
some

procure

his

from
him
means

and
to

into

Indian

corn-meal

for

myself; nor had I


society as I was
such unprofitableacquaintanceship,were

from
explaining how first I wandered
in
influenced
by what persuasions I was

of

it.

ever

thrown

there other

the
not

rightpath,
returning

304

CONFESSIONS

pilgrimage to the saints


two
lazy mules and a
miracles
You'll
aged

the

on

longed for some


very promising

driver
the

if C

them,

They

that

Virgin

harry 's

from

far

in such

charm

that he

that

had

amusement,

to

as

besides

like any

Such

after!

like what

was

of

she

Irishman

an

done

for

merit

of

sojourned

who

had

that

many
trails of these

would

be

indeed

follow

him, I felt

long time

previous.

to

mare

my

not

come

he

was

of

the

pathless

all.

them

of

trapper

me.

the

I then

as

to

Friar, if

least

at

laud

the various

knew

fellow-traveller

I saddled
had

work

may

displeasing

; and

companionship

dialects, and

wilds

have

won't

the Choctaws,
and
missionary among
he spoke
versed
in prairie life ; that

Indian

prize; and as
lighterat heart than
a

"And

his

name?"

I.

said

is half-Mexican

"It
at

up

health.

her

as

well

with

up

small

no

"

I learned

out

for

whatever

intelligence was

This

in.

there

CHEGAN.

be."

to

safety,

CON

half-breed

roads,

come

soon

OF

"

by

this.

They

call him

cried

I, springing into my

Fra

Miguel

Bexar."

saddle; and

Miguel!

for Fra

then

Now

with

frank

"

"Good-bye,"

took

the

road

to

Bexar.

I rode

along

forest

of

with

light heart,
and

tall beech

alder

my

leading through

way

trees, whose

stems

were

Liana," which
by the twining tendrils of the
oftentimes
spanned the space overhead, and tempered the
Birds of gay
plumage
noonday sun by its delicious shade.
and strange note
hopped from branch to branch, while hares
and rabbits sat boldly on the grassy
road, and scarcelycared
The
at my
to
move
crimson-winged bustard,
approach
the swallow-tailed
breast, and
woodpecker, with his snowy
encircled

that most
shame

"

beautiful

the blue

of all,the lazuli

waters

finch,whose color would


of the Adriatic, chirped aud fluttered

squirrel,
too, swung
by his tail,ami
jerked himself from bough to bough, in all the confidence
the deer, timid without
of unmolested
liberty; while even
I went, doubtless
as
gratulating
condanger, stood and gazed at me
that they were
themselves
not born to be beasts
on

every

of

burden.

side.

The

wild

LOG-HUT

THE

There

was

much

so

although as far as
nothing could be
abundance

and

of

character

monotonous

the

novelty

the

of

in all around

me

scene

that

wearied

never

the

for,

concerned,
companionship was
utterly solitaryand desolate, yet
life,the bright tints of plumage,
of
an
sound, afforded
unceasing

human
more

animal
concert

strange

to

the

305

BRAZOS.

AT

interest.

OccasionallyI
with
where

the charred
upon
signs indicative of a

other

halted ; but
all the evidence
that

hunting-party

some

chance
ever

after
a

since I had

hours

to conceive

began

had

wheel-track, were
The instincts of
passed that way.
all,linked to companionship, and

few

mistaken

mine

for

pushed Charcoal

show
the

forest ; and

where

the

there

societyof
time,

some

without
tracks

I could

have

not

the

through

one

lest I should not reach


uneasy
the night, and
obtain
ment
refresh-

last I became

at

but

was

recent

any

are,

Brazos,

only

not

but

was

the
for

party passed.

road, since

of

had

heart

host"

desire

anxious

most

travellers

although it

overtaking the Friar ; but


without
even
coming upon

but

that should

"

these, with

the human

of

hope

success,

parted with

I had

fellow-traveller.

in the

wood,
fragments of firebivouac, showing

came

place of shelter for


From
for myself and my
horse.
the time that these
and
its
thoughts crossed my mind, all relish for the scene
departed. A scarlet jay might have
strange associations
saddle-bow
unmolested;
a
perched upon
"whip-poormy
from
will"
her note
hat or
might have chanted
my
my
some

holsters
as

unminded

of

grown

upon

of

one

the

gone

astray?

often

came

topic

within

lame, or

the

suspicionsthat,when
back

of

tired ?

even

sprained ankle

to

with

if

chased
There

"

But

away

on

was

not

and, like that respected authoritywho


what

myself
vol.

into
i."

he
so

20

should
many

do

me

the

"if

he

met

why
one
an

I did

white

critical situations

had

who

all

enumerate

side,invariably
incident,from a

spent
a

had

if Charcoal

What

starvation,that

actual

graze

Choctaws,

the

of Austin?

What

the other ?

on

fell in

miles

few

indeed

remembering that I was


"sharp bores," so intent I
if I
personal safety. What

if I

What

stags did

once

my
"Colt's"

fell

came

antlered

without

they went,

owner

; the

and

not

his

rehearse

days

lating
specu-

bear," I threw

embarrassing

306

CONFESSIONS

conjectures that
from

escape

head

my

ached

CON

CREGAN.

with

overtaxed

have

gift of

much

to

for.

answer

speech
animals, by way
generic qualities,takes a wondrous
and

me,

everything

that

flew

lizard that scaled

bounded

or

the

hold

mind

the
upon
conversations"

"imaginary

held

The

attributing
characterizingtheir

of

to

for

as

ingenuityto

them.

JSsop'fitallies
the

OF

From

past.

shiningcork-trees,to

the

with

the

lazy

green
toad that

flopped heavily into the water, I had a word for all, ay,
and
too.
thought they answered
me,
Some, I fancied, chirped pleasantlyand merrily,as though
to say, "Go
it, Con, my hearty; Charry has stride and
wind
for many
mile yet!"
a
Some, with a wild scream,
"

would
' '

shook

small
would

utter

Ruflie

owl, with
and

cry of surprise at the pace, as


feathers if Con 's not in a hurry ! "

to

seem

my
horseshoe

wig, looked

his wise

shocked

impetuosity,

at my

head

in grave
rebuke
choked
with
emotion

gradually

one

existence, such
inferior
The

; while

fat asthmatic

down

sink

it appears

as

the

to
or

now,

level of

would

one

this

elevate

the

equalityof intelligence?
time
short
solitude which
a
previous had suggested
!
not
now
bright imaginings, presented now
many
it had
desolation ; and
sad, unvarying reflection,
become
a doubtful
point whether I should not at once
animal

to

some

"

one

"

almost

Brazos
and
for Upper
horse's head
make
my
gruff host of the log-house,rather than brave a

and

turn

"

in the forest.

question

became

faint track
dismounted

counterpart
further

animal

"

I know

fresco

if ing,
sayAn
old

I hurled
the
as
frog nearly
How
pebbles into his bath of duck-weed.
strange
life be, reduced
to such
companionship ! thought I.

Would

the

of

and
on

search

It

on

it

other

I could

at

the

that

moment

"

al

this

mind
that I perceived the
my
I
the short grass of the pathway.

examined
the

just

night

in

mooted
wheel

was

its

closely,and

side of

detect

soon

the road

the footmarks

discovered

; and

of

with
two

its
little

horses,

evidently unshod.
by these signs, I spurred
Inspired with fresh courage
Charry to a sharper stride,and for above two hours rode on,
each
turning of the road suggestingthe hope of coming up
with the Friar, who
evidentlyjourneyed at a brisker pace

THE

I had

than

anticipated.
is

chase

stern

land

sea,

or

whether

"

or

The

sun

and

307

BRAZOS.

sailor's

"

the

so

says
it is,whether

pursuit be

sunk

beneath

the

which

of

bottom

the

abrupt descent, at
These
rapid river.

on

flying

tops of the tall trees, and

lines of
through, in chance
suddenly I found myself upon

when

"A

it be

overtake

to

light,upon

streamed

road,

that

adage

Fortune

had

AT

The

long chase

Frenchman

only

LOG-HUT

the verge

ran

great fissures, by which

the
of

but

narrow

the

an

mountain

larger rivers,are very common


borders
in Texas
and
the
on
throughout the region which
Rocky Mountains, and form one of the greatest impediments
to travellingin these
tracts.
As
I gazed upon
scrambled
the steep descent, to have
descend

streams

down

which,

difficult
hour

an

join

to

even

foot, would

on

I remembered

enough,
before,

spot

had

to

my
The

the

recent

down

sight of the stream


hopes, the long looked-for
I

scene

beheld

now

of

my

and

of what

was

overhead, and

covering

; a

curtains

of the

the

wagon.

far

was

this

me

nearer

party with the Friar.

sufficiently
striking for
a

large

of

gentle slope brought

bank

horses

to

perceiving that

two

half

off into two

march

passage

fiftyfeet beneath where


boiling,foaming torrent, was

"

forked

picture. About
of

and

dangerous

passed, about

resumed

once

in

more

been

"

satisfaction

yet rising under


grass was
A short and
canter
snarp
once

road

the

at

the

have

that I had

where

separate directions,and

place, where

the

of

same

canvas

stood, and

the

drawn

wagon,
formed

material

on

by
awning

an

closed

the

sides.

stood
large,powerful-lookingMexican
beating the stream
with a great pole, while the Friar, with his robes
tucked
up
naked
to display a pair of enormous
30
as
legs,assisted in
this singularact of flagellation,
from
time to time addressing
a
hasty prayer to a small image which I perceived he had
hung up against the canvas
covering. The noise of the
and
the crashing sound
of the sticks prerushing water
vented
which
the
most
voices,
were
hearing
volubly
my
exerted
all the while, and
which, by accustoming myself
used
in exhorting the
to the din, I at last perceived were

horses

to

courage.

The

returning confidence, nor

token

of

slightestinclination

to

animals, however,
showed

the

gave

no

308
On

advance.

two,

with

bound

upset the wagon

or

caressingand encouragement
quiet again. Meanwhile, the Friar's
much

without
stand

redoubled

at

every
became

thrashings

with

watch

the work

of

curtain
without

the

as

on

looked,
aside, and
I

that

it

was

they would

exertions

his prayers
Indeed, it was

small

of

corner

were

and

his

curious

canvas

hand

even

pronounced
drawn
speedilywith-

one.

rigidlyas

the

appeared, which,
carried,might have been

This, however, was


the Friar, and
from
observation

some

closed

it

fan

large straw
female

; nor

both

animated.

more

pace or
that threatened

agilityhis bulky figure alternated from


before "the
to gesticulating
beating the water

moved

was

and

moment,

what

Virgin." Now,

was

back

their tackle

smash

led forward

contrary, whenever

they invariablysprang
to

to

the

CREGAN.

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

the

curtain

before.

All my conjectures as to this singularproceeding being in


I perceived
vain, I resolved to join the party, towards whom

by a slightlycircuitous descent.
this slope,which
Cautiouslywending my way down
grew
I
the river side
had scarcelyreached
steeper as I advanced,
when
I was
perceived by the party. Both the Friar and his
cast
the instant, and
their performance on
follower
ceased
their eyes upwards to the road with a glance that showed
for others.
They even changed
they were on k' the look-out
the road

led

"

position,to have a better view of the path, and seemed


be alone.
that I could
if unable
to persuade themselves
as
I made
To
by courteouslyremoving my
my salutation,which
as
hat and bowing low, they offered no return, and looked
far too much
I reallybelieve they were
surprised at my
their

"

"

sudden
I

to

appearance
nearer,

came

I could

As
any signs of welcome.
the circuit of
that the Friar made

afford
see

me

the wagon,
and, as if casually,examined
right,"took
then, satisfied " that all was
head
"

while

the curtains
his station

; and

by

the

beasts, and waited for my approach.


day, SenhorCaballero," said the Friar, in Spanish,

of his

Good

the Mexican

and
rifle,

retired

looked
a

at

couple of

the lock

of

paces, with

long-barrelled
gesture of guarded
his

caution.
"

have

Good

evening, rather, Father,"

ridden

miles."

hard

to come

up

with

said I, in
you,

English.

for the last

"

twenty

LOG-HUT

THE

with

said the

States?"

the

"From

Friar, approaching me, but


pleasure at hearing his native

of

peculiarevidences

no

309

BRAZOS.

AT

language.
*"
"

From

an

"And

how
his

"

I had

way

are

off my
when

of the

I knew

before

judge from
and

reserve.

"

was

the

on

and

servants

been

far

so

understanding nothing
himself ready for any
"
Going to Austin,
"

Friar, a

Bexar.

telligence
in-

This

which

way,

my

successful."

face, the pleasure did


at

his eyes

of

back

turned

that

continue

to

me

looked

he cast

have

towards

out

"Padre's"

the

then

I should

but that I heard

just set

reciprocal. He

appear

he, still preserving

despatched my

determined

find has

rejoiceto

"

I, confidently
; for already

of it.

error,

my
too, had

at once

To

I had

I discovered

countryman,

said

and

I, boldly

accidentallytaking the turn to Upper Brazos


lower one, I found
myself some
twenty miles

when

track

"

said

biographicalsketch.

last
my
to Austin, whither

instead

caution

of

of the road

invented

baggage,

air

said

Miguel,"

travellinghere?"

you

previous

mistake

country, Fra

own

your
Irishman."

and

me

towards

English,
of

measures

at last said

the

nately,
alter-

wagon

Mexican,

who,

evidently holding

was
a

the

nc*.

hostile

character.

the Friar.

"

You

are

then?"

merchant,

said

"No,"

I, smiling superciliously;"I

am

make

mere

of
a
pleasure, my object being
of
the
Mexican
the prairies,and
cities,before
by some
return
to Europe."
my
"Heaven
guide and protect you," said he, fervently,with
of his hand
like leave-taking. " This is not a land
a wave
in after nightfall. You
to wander
well mounted,
and a
are
traveller

for

good rider
before
"If

the
that

to

push
be

object with
proceed alone."
"Ahem!"

Bexar, it

then, my

son,

and

'11 reach

you

Bexar

sets."

moon

no

on,

tour

your
me,

said

road, Father," said I, "as


'd rather join company
with

he, looking confused, "I

is true, Senhor

; but

my

am

journey is

of the

speed
you

is

than

going

to

slowest

whom
the wagon
is heavy, and a sick companion
it contains
'
and
Dios !
cannot
travel fast.
we
Go, then, con
may
'

meet

again

at

our

journey's end."

310

"

My

to

remaiu

of

me.

with

him

and

trebled

being

I overtook

When

"

CREGAN.

desire

got quite enough of it," said I, my

has

mare

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

spare

beast

my

by
I

you,

get rid

to

determining

was

that your

so

his exertions

to

in the

will not

pace

mount
dis-

me."

least inconvenience

some
replying to me, addressed
in Spanish, which, whatever
to the Mexican
words
they were,
the other
by a sharp slap of his palm on the
only answered
stock
of his rifle,and a very significantglance at his girdle,
of its
where
a large bowie-knife
glitteredin all the freedom
unsheathed
splendor. As if not noticing this pantomime, I
forth my
drew
"Harper's Ferry pistol" from the holster,
little bit of displayI had the
the priming,
and examined
a
either the
thrown
not
satisfaction to perceive was
on
away
from
the former, however,
At a word
Friar or the layman.
the latter began once
again his operations with the pole,
the Friar
resuming his place beside the cattle as if totally

of

instead

Padre,

The

"

forgetful of my
I ask
"May
I,

object

the

it be

which, unless

"

unaccountable

said
proceeding, Father?"
devotional
exercise,' is perfectly

of this
'

me."

to

looked

Padre

The

there.

presence

at

without

me

speaking;

but

the

sly

have
had no
that he would
tion
objecdrolleryof his eye showed
the time and
to bandy a jest with
were
place more
me,
have
fitting. "I perceive," said he, at length, "that
you

journeyed

not

this

at

this

the

season

and

have

"

see

that

case," said I,
"

Look

said

flowed

cattle

for

at that

he, pointing

tendons

them

you

after.

river

horse

gators,
alli-

attacked

once

beating

that

and

caymans

been
a

known

have

with

cross

that

Mexican

the

waters

will not

go

by

Their
sures
inknee-

being performed."
unusually tired in the present
been
nigh half an hour here, to

ceremony

your
"

to

would

are

have

knowledge."

own

my

many

this

without

you

abound

courage
teaches

safety, and

or

the cattle have

no

instinct, however,

deep

land,

streams

when

that

they

them,

in

for

some

around

black

mare's

fore-leg,and you

deep gash, which


inches in length, while

the

to

laid bare

animal's

hoof.

HI

see

why,"

the white

deep pool

of blood

CONTENTS.

Chaptbk

XXL

P403

Night

"A

in

Forest

of

Texas"

1
...

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

XXV.

XXVI.

XXVII.
iLXVIII.

The

Lazaretto

The

"

The

La

21

"

Placer

44

Fate

Gambusino

of

57

Senhora

"The

"

Bexar

of

75

Discovery"

105

Guajuaqualla

"The

"

127

Voyage

of

the

'Acadie'"

148
....

XXIX.

"Carcel

The

Morena"

at

Malaga

162
.

XXX.

XXXI.

Consolations

"

New

171

Progressive

in

Life

"

192
.

XXXII.

XXXIII.

"Moi

et

Soiree

Mon

in

Conclusion

Prince"

the

"Great

219

World".

232
.

XXXIV.

Diplomacy

of

Walk

257

FOREST

Friar

HE
the

Mexican

cautions

to

the

towards

the

We

roads

"All

take

"Then

Who

can

lose

to

one's

and

so

to

me,

replacing
heads

come.

miles

farther

commend

we

low,

horses'

the

just

calling

hesitate,

yield ; when,

some

the

up

you

the

to

journey."

prosperous

said

holy Father,"
to

and

shortest,

I, with

assume.

you'll

be

at

soonest

your

he, gruffly.
"

that?
way

had

in

and

demur

turned

ford

something

me

said

say

a
"

alike

the

journey's end,"
"

you

cost

they

efforts, and,

to
to

he

try

Padre,

are

that

coolness

to

the
wish

and

Virgin,

wagon

which

by

about

said

stream,"

the

road

are

appeared

TEXAS.'

something

seemed

other

space,

beside

poles

"

The

brief

his

side, whispered

one

manner.

but, after

ceased

OF

in

rejoined
a

dense

I ;

"

it 's

forest, where

no

difficult

ter
mat-

tracks

are

the

unknown."
"

he,
*'

There
in

the

It has
VOL.

is but

II.

"

path,

and

it cannot

be

mistaken,"

tone.

same
one

one

great
l

disadvantage, Father,"

said

T.

said

CONFESSIONS

is

"There
have

in

of

the Irishman

pleasure of

Methinks

"

CUEGAN.

on

it; and,

companionship

no

much

too

the

for

CON

is that?"

What

"

OF

in

to

to leave

me

good company

travellingall alone."

very little of the Irishman


of
respect," said he, with a sneer

another

truth, I

say

have

you

about

you,
doubtful

no

meaning.
"

How

"

In

so?"

eagerly.
volunteeringyour societywhen

gentleman," said he, with


"at
least,I can say, such

young
"

land

I remember

as

"

it

since

and

time

your

and
faction-fighting,

week

together and

"Peace
with

be

with

gesture it
patience.
a

I hesitated

that another
won,

shout

the

Over

for

to

easy

second

what

many

barbarous

given up drinking
fiftymiles a day for

friar."

he, waving

see

the

boded

his

passion than

more

to do ; and

might perhaps endanger

hand, but

last,feeling

at
the

victoryI

had

into the mare's


flanks, and, with the
spurs
ostler had recommended,
rushed
her at the stream.

dashed

she went,

with

word

said

you!"

was

with

meet

of

ago."

of

travel

may

ery,
effront-

the habits

years

out

sought for,

steadfast

not

people have

you

never

of

were

grown

the

it is not

look

forty

some

Ah, holy Father, it has

custom

said I,

her

"

like

bird," lightingon

hind-legs"well

up,"

and

the

the

next

opposite bank

plunged

moment

into the forest.

Scarcely, however,
drew

up.

from

water.
not

the Mexican

and
the

proceeded

wood

even

suspicion

going back,

with

masked

dwelt

on

that he
easier

the

sounds

mind

my

society where
had
ruled

it

it had

been

been, doubtless,

and
But

so

had

concerted

this

disembarrass
his

purpose

my
little

part.

pride

continue

scene

been

regulated by its thousand-and-one


the

prairiesare

himself

to

was

plan

of my

suggested
Some
and

will

very
impose his

peremptorily declined
the

rushing

Friar

to

that it argued very


say
in Con
self-esteem
Cregan to

the

river

the

merely

doubtless

than
the

out
of

that

had

seeming pertinacityof
equal obstinacy of resistance
on

weak

fifty paces

effectuallyshut

The

company.
an

dense

The

view, and

my

had

; and

so

great city
ties.
conventionalia

separatedby something longer

"A

than

miles

mere

FOREST

land

the

from

OF

in such

of

TEXAS."

kid-gloves and

latitudes

would

be

Besides,

unsuitable

as

"A

thus:

argued

underdone

very

slice

tough venison, with a draught of spring water,


in these regions a very appetizing meal ; and, for
a

reason,

be

as

when
fare

food

to

than

friar and

morose

very

accepted

better

visiting

suit.

court

IN

Ceremonial

tickets.
as

NIGHT

tolerable

very

it

can

be

famine,"

constitute
the

same

servant

may

travellingcompanions.
but

had, Con,
rule

"

still sulkier

prefer

Enjoy
the

even

blest
hum-

mental

applicableto

more

of

material.

to

self-colloquyafter this kind, I crept stealthily


back, leading Charry by the bridle, and haltingat intervals
What
to listen.
a
triumph to my skill in divination as I
the Friar's loud voice
heard
overtopping the gushing flood,
his beasts
in the most
while he exhorted
energeticfashion !
I advanced
wood,
cautiouslytill I gained a little clump of brushIn

little

which

from

Friar

The

could

had

mounted

now

the

the group

fectly.
per-

and

wagon,

held

standing in the
and
stream
leading the cattle,who appeared to have regained
and
of their courage,
somewhat
more
were
slowly proceeding,
sniffingtimidly as they went, and pawing the water
fretfully.
The Mexican
advanced
nigh
boldly, till the water reached
the

reins ;

Mexican

river and

the

see

the

however,

was,

the top of his great botas

vaqueras,
it is said, resist the

hide, which,
and

serpent;

far

so

As

encouragement.
warned
and

the

stood

flattened
that

was

the

to

man

pawing

soon,
mount

and

back, and

horses

went,

wagon,

splashing
their

bite

however,
the

the

drawn-in

boots

immense

as

of

of

either

buffalo

cayman

doubtless

from

or

the

the

deepening flood
they halted abruptly,

stream,

while

tails evinced

their
the

ears

terror

them.

on

were
Objurgations, entreaties,prayers, curses, menaces,
in vain,
not
a
step farther they would
budge. All
that the Spanish contained
of guttural was
hurled at them
without
success
whip might welt their flanks
; the cow-hide

all

and

"

leave

Mexican

great ridges

might
of

kicks,

stroke, the huge pole of the


them, with a running accompaniment

at every

belabor
but

to

no

purpose.

They

cared

as

little for

4
the cow-hide

them

Ursula, Saint

Saint

"

calendar;

"

persuade

could
and

the

as

CREGAN.

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

to

neither

move

ings
thrash-

nor

Saint

on.

Anthony

Cordova, with various

of

Forimund

saints

Saint Clement
of Capua, to
invoked, to no end.
others, were
from
boas to whip-snakes, owe
all poisonous reptiles,
whom
was
allegiance,
quadrupeds took

Protestant

most

There

no

entreaties,but

the

showed

litany.
flogging,and

with
and

Friar

to their

compensation

if in

travellers; but

the

whole

the

wearied

pause;

these

for

contempt

aid

to

upon
of
heed

exhortations, both

vain

with
as

was

called

Mexican,

tired

ceased,

out
and

feelings,vented

long pent-up

guttural round of maledictions


upon
creation, and in particularon that part of
it who
would
be eaten
not
by alligatorswithout signs of
this new
turn of events
resistance
and opposition. Whether
was
more
had
owing to
influence, or that the matter
any

in a
their anger
animal
the whole

very

but, just then, the horse


say;
bitten, reared straightup, and with

causes," I

"natural
had

cannot

been

already
snort
a loud
plunged forward, carrying with
a
deep part
By his plunge he had reached
his
half
Avhere the water
came
body.
up
way
which

smashed

left him

of the traces, and

one

him

the

of

the

other.

stream,

Another

free to kick

spring

violently

self
privilegehe certainlyhastened to avail himfrom
of. His fellow, whether
sympathy or not, imitated
the performance ; and there they were,
lashing and plunging
the wagon,
with
all their might, while
against which the

behind

him,

strong

current

instant

to

the

were

very

down,

turned

out

middle

of

rushing.
throwing

towards
Had

the

force, threatened

all its

by

this

held

at

every
did his

dragged round

About

kind

spot

cascade

of

some

infuriated

the

now

twenty

back

which
poisonous reptiles,

but

made

the

such

stream
an

effort

to

yards
ten

or

horses

practicable,a strong man


the water, have
caught

into
them

and

course,

stream.

it been

himself

and

their

of

the river fell

feet, and

heads

in

beat

capsize. The Friar struggled manfully, as


and
of the reins gave way,
; but, unfortunately,one
violent
tugging at the remaining one, the animals

follower

by

"

the

lower
twelve

seemed

might, by
the

horses'

swarmed

with

almost

table
inevi-

death.
It

was

now

scene

of terrible

and

most

excitinginterest.

CONFESSIONS

words,

with

and,

Breasting

"

him!

spring towards

OF

cried

bound,

CON

CHEGAN.

the

Friar;

stated

herself

unci

she

obeyed

behind

the

me.

in
bravely, Charry bounded
on, and
less than a minute
reached
the Friar, by
the bank, which
the aid of a leaping-pole,
had gained before us.
tened
Having placed the half-lifeless girl on the sward, I hasto

water

after

see

the horse

we

the

never

shouted,

we

the

and

his

of.

but

The

that

of

my
where

"

my

but

and

The

' '

the

"

"Is

me

poor

fellow

death

too

it

and

had
to

mingled

these

on

for

themes

conscious

steps towards

our

the

are

"

loth

were

fate in

siderable
con-

horrible

possible that you

sunset

is

lamentations

he

turned

You

there

see

you

the

with

and

aloud,

for

indeed, seemed

we

same.

accept of

to

it,after all ; you

readily."

so

we

pressed them
said

Friar

to her

lips.
something hastilyin Spanish, which
back

at

once,

and

buried

seemed

her

face

in

mantle.

Maria

Donna

the convent

of

the world,
This

is my
niece, Senhor, and has only just left
'
Sacred
Heart.'
She
the
knows
nothing of

what

nor

Friar

the

sounded

young
What

far

beseems

her

as

spoke harshly,and
in need

more

of

an

young
with

maiden."
a

that to

manner

apology

than

did

the

girl'sgrateful emotion.
was

to

be done

at least
a

said,

rebuke, for she drew

her

me

last, as

called

stream

was

nor,

me,

him

try, Senhor," said the girl,passionately,


in her words, as
she took
foreign accent
my

shall

with

hands

I,

get rid of

"Nor

intent

parted with before

we

company,

cannot

safety

so

We

in agony,

his hands
own

; and

At
presence.
the girllay, he

Yes," said

but

his

! of

the

purpose,

wrung

recognized

never

caballero

no

Alas

along

perhaps by

"

for

companion

he

afterwards.

to

Friar

thanksgiving

his lost

trace

continued

evidently perished,
think

Mexican.

saw
even

space

poor

thirtymiles
log-hut,between
; so

ourselves
"Picket

Miguel,

that,
to the

like

became

from
us

Bexar,

now

and

the
not

city. To
practical people,we
and

available

that

question.
a

go
at

We

were

village,nor

even

back
once

was

sible
impos-

addressed

alternative.

let us
beast, and
your
with the air of a man
who

light a fire,"said
would

not

waste

Fra

life in

"A

vain

and

other

the

and

although the one


always brings snakes,
on
alligators,it is better than to bivouac

and

sleep on."
Fastening
and

both

construct

around
""We

"

of

bags
saddle-

arm-chair

an

for Donna

cally
artisti-

Maria

at

the

dead

wood,

himself

sat

down

to

species of hearth, placing a little circle of stones


in such
to give a draught to the blaze.
a
as
way
fast to-night,Senhor," said he; "but
it will
must
a

to

If

with

loaded

arms

hereafter.

us

blaze

soon

saddle

flints to

unstrapped my
disposing which most

tree,

hard

stream, and

the

fire.

count

to

my

fashion

in the

ore

beast

my

we

stupendous beech, I set about the preparation of


The Friar, however, had almost
anticipated me, and,

of

with

iron

removed

in the
foot

both

have

grass

River, with

Red

TEXAS."

OF

FOREST

Providence,

regrets. Thank

water;

IN

NIGHT

it

Fan

fire with

the

your

hat, it will

said

I,

briskly."
for

not

were

that

lady,"

young

"

whose

"

sufferingsare far greater than ours


"
Speak not of her, Senhor; Donna
"

after

called

was

begin
and

is

Sorrows,

of

who

had

her

sent

returninghome

now

to be

to

de
she

is the

educated

her

see

and

She

apprenticeshipto grief.

her

brother,

my

Mother

our

Maria

los Dolores
as

may

only

child of

Orleans,

New

at

well

father,before

she takes

the veil of her novitiate."


A
came

very low sigh


from beneath

dry chips

low

so

"

; and

the beech-tree

fire, hoping

I threw

catch

myself

to
a

handful

"

of

glimpse of the
of my
fair fellow-traveller.
Fra
features
Miguel, however,
balked
stratagem by topping the fire with a stout log, as
my
he said, "You
too
are
spendthrift,Senhor; we shall need
husband

to

the

be audible

only to

as

upon

our

resources,

or

to

'11 not

we

have

enough

for the

night long."
"

Would

like to come
not
you
said I, respectfully.

Senhora?"

"Thanks,
"

and
wish

sir,but perhaps

Speak out, child,"


that

are
you
to be disturbed.

say

to
eagerness
beast : don't

aid

lead

us

him

broke

nearer

to

the

blaze,

"
"

in

the

Father,

"

speak out,

not
counting your rosary, and would
And
you, Senhor, if I err not, in your
have
forgotten to water
gallant
your
to

the

stream,

that would

be

unsafe

CONFESSIONS

take

sombrero:

my

Twice

now.

I would

it has

full is

iu

everything would
opinion; and so, armed
my

the

to

way

CHEGAN.

served

for any

this
be

CON

often

enough

declined

have

OF

horse

offer, hut
safest

my
with

the

like

in these

countries."

I felt that

submission
his

to

passport

"Friar's

before

purpose

good

beaver," I made

stream.

his

Whatever

eulogies upon the pitcher-likequalities of


his head-piece, to me
undeserved
most
they seemed
; for
ran
scarcely had I filled it, than the water
through like a
sieve.
The
the process
oftener, too, was
repeated the less
of success
chance
did there appear
of retaining
; for, instead
the

fluid

all, the

at

threatened

material

became

in

pieces every
I could lift it was
totallyempty.
and still more
annoyed at my own
to

effort,and
failure

returned
I

as

Steep

"

tear

to

where

time
Half

saturated

so

it

and
filled,

was

with

angry

that

the

'kerchief

your

retired,abashed

in the

stream, then, and

wash

What

all

if

devotional

for

scarcelyhad
knees, and

left the

seemed

Full

of

place ;

and

what

converted

this

for

for

cares

my

great

to do

proceeded

stratagems
thought I, as

spot, than

the

as

was

my
robe of

Donna

surprise

you

"It's

like

perceived

in

it,Uncle, after all?"

his

little circuit of the


that

which, fastened
of

that

in the

something

observe

now

from

arose

blanket-cloth

coarse

Maria,

to

all these

get rid of my

to

Friar

busy himself about


a
impression, I made

bough of a tree, she was


apparently all the pleasure

Don't

horse, and

but

the

fro, with
lt

intrusion, and

to

his upper

hammock
to

these

season?"

trees.

end

my

exercises, were

company

of

at

the

directed.

was
"

Friar,

forward.

came

mouth," said he, upon his knees, where, with


stringof beads, he was
engaged with his devotions.
I

ere

ineptitude, I gave up the


had
left him, confessing my

beast's

it

into
at

he
a

had
kind

either

swinging to and
happy child.
said she laughing.

has
read
of in Juan
Cordova's
one
exactly what
stories,to be bivouacking iu a great forest, with a great fire,
the jaguars."
to keep away
and
I neither like it for thee
Hush!
go to sleep,child.
nor
myself. There are more
dangerous things than jaguars
"

in these

woods."

NIGHT

"A

IN

FOREST

the bears, Uncle?


Ah, you mean
I do not," growled he, sulkily.

"

"

for

"As

snakes,

into the tall

"Ay,
Friar

"

"

besides, they go

them;

to

grass."

ay,
but

snakes

you

talk

hear

not

gets used

one

TEXAS."

OF

this

in

muttered
the
grass, just so!"
and let him
will be back
presently,

the

youth
such

night, good

Good

sillynonsense.

night."
Good

"

to

so

that

sleep;

I love

to hear

through the leaves, and

the fireflies dancing

see

I cannot

rushing river."
! he 's

Hush

"

When

coming,"

came

meditation,
rifle at

my

"but

night," sighed she,

side, and

one

sleep. Although
sleep. My thoughts
hundred

; her

young

pistolsat

my
I closed

beside

were

soft

was

sunk

It

and

in

other, I lay down


I did not
lay still,
whom

of

evident

was

she

too, and

musical

holy

fire,with

the

eyes and
my
full of Donna
Maria,

conjectures.

voice

the

still.

all was

again

was

that, disposing myself

so

to

weaved

"

the Friar

"

up,

Friar ; and

said the

was

had

that

pleasant bell-like cadence so indicative of a light heart and


Dolores"?
she called the
Los
a happy nature.
Why was
I asked
myself again and again what had she in her joyousto do with
ness
grief and care ; and why should she enter a
"

and

convent

become

solving,and

no

of her
to

The

me.

old

questions there

were

the cadence
might judge from
less puzzling to herself than
excited

interest became
my
dislike to the Friar.

more

my

not

her from

the cataract

Would

from

must

in the
she

such

for

he

That

was

the

surly

pity that I
easilyas I saved

What

crueltyas

her,

that I could

tormenting

deemed,

her

rescue

was

tyrant, I perfectlysatisfied myself.

could

so

These

apparently, if
deep sigh, no

now

stronger grew

nun?

even

There

of her

mystery

herself

her !

see

feel it.

something

was

concealment, and
We

should

be

so

so,

happy

together, journeying along day by day through the forest !


What
I not
tell her of my
tales would
wanderings, and how
I should

enjoy

wonders

"

how
wonder

And

all the

they would
at

and

surprise at my travelled
strange objects of these wild woods,

the innocence

of

interest and

admire

them

her

amuse,

How

were

I wished

there
she

"

two"

to

might

be

10

pretty ; what
total

terrible if she

became

of

It

and

me,

was

round

low

These

and

long breathings

I tried

so

had

at

last

to

fall

firm

off.

her of

of

hair,

too

got

low, and

connection

sat

red

thoughts

fire waxed

and

arose

have

to

were

what

whom

the

was

there

was

ing?
think-

listeningwith

up,
the

"

eager
with his

Friar, who,

bullet-head

gentle hum

of

and

the

his

slumber.

distant

studded

was

the rich odor

The

of the cedar

would

like

to

and

and

"

in

pass

of

glittered
the
of the phosphoric lighton
and balmy with
air was
warm
the acacia,
just such a night

traces

they passed.

brilliant lustre

fireflies,
too, danced

The

side, leaving

every
leaves as

all the

in

bright orbs

latitude.

on

one

pillowed on a pine-log,slept soundly ; the


the leaves, scarcelymoved
by the night wind,
of the fallingwater, were
lullabies to
sound
It was
a
night of stars ; the sky
gorgeous

with

southern

as

not

were

them

midnight, the
asleep. What

knows?

the

to

shake

not

considerations

these
Who

ear

I could

sound

was

between

she

scpiint!

should

about

now

Friar"

if she

tantalizingfor endurance, and


forget them ; but in vain, they

too

asleepand
hold

CREGAN.

CON

disappointment
my imaginings if

to all

rout

how

"

OF

CONFESSIONS

sweet"

"converse

with

some

shadowy dreams,
and
straying along from bygones to futurity.
the Friar lay : a livelyfear
to where
I crept over
stealthily
prevailedwith me that he might be feigning sleep,and so I
honest
him
watched
an
long and narrowly. No, it was
throat
slumber
was
beyond
; the deep gutturalof his mellow
counterfeiting. I threw a log upon the fire carelesslyand
tered
him ; but he only mutawake
with
noise, to see if it would
like Latin, and
two
that sounded
slept on.
or
a word
I

strained

now

under

the

detect

the

over?
decide
was

harmless
the

able

I be

What

by

mere

pure
kind.

them

the

towards

eyes

hammock,

of

great sycamore-tree,I could


through the leaves.
of

outline

Friar's

conceal

my

shadow

Should

It

with

friend, mingling past memories

dear

to

features,

her

discern

were

which,

barely

I to creep

how

impossible to
What
if I were
to try?
it!
reasoning upon
piece of curiosity, curiosityof the most
difficult

question, and
"

I had

lineaments,
from

me.

been, doubtless, just as


if he

It

had
was

taken

absurd,

the

to

eager
same

besides,

scan

pains
to

to

travel

"A

NIGHT

IN

and
person
thing without

with

not

poor

I '11 have

and

arguments ;
along, and, making
the sycamore,
There
It

seemed

swing
deception; and

mere

to

doubts.
could
and

was

It

face.

fro.

crept

convey.

myself
cautiously
to

to the foot of

of my hand
say if this were

reach

I cannot

was

so

nearer,

silkyhair, which

of soft

mass

and

the Friar.

from

within

was

just to satisfymy
the side, and
last I reached
peeped in. All I
the outline of a figure wrapped in a mantle,

At
see

to

up

I moved

round

remote

almost

hammock,

the

was

looks

I, summing

circuit,came

side most

the

at

Intercourse

this resolve

with
wide

said

11

TEXAS."

reciprocitywhich

all events,

all my

OF

their face.

see

that

at

peep,

FOREST

time

some

the

fell

and

over

shaded

the

before

to
my eyes grew accustomed
spot ; but by degrees I could perceive

of the
deep shadow
and
beautiful
the profileof a young
face resting upon
one
the other
side, and the hand
hung negligentlyat one
arm,
attitude was
the edge of the hammock.
The
drooped over
the very perfection of graceful ease, and such as a sculptor
What
a
might have modelled.
study, too, that hand, whose
could I help
dimpled loveliness the starlight
speckled ! How
lowed
touching it with my lips? the first time, with all the halvouchsafe
to some
reverence
a worshipper would
holy
"

relic; the second, with

I ventured

hand

Did
I

the

thought

ecstasy be

pressure

was

returned.

and
no

slightlypress
than fancy ?

more

gently around, and in a voice


whispered, Tell me
name,
your
I whispered low,
Con Cregan."
"

"

of

it.
"

surpassing

Senhor

Caba-

"

Yes, but what

"

I have

"

Your

"

"

How

"

Call

do your

brothers, then?
had

never

sisters call

you?

"

Sefihora."

none,

strange !

"

brother."
nor

I either.

Then

how

shall I call

you?

"

brother," said I, trying to repossess myyour


self
of the hand
she had gently withdrawn
from my grasp.
And
will you call me
Maria?
said she, gayly.
me

"

M If you
of it?"
"Ah!
my

mine

the

"

"

in

devotion; the third,

turned

softness

llero?

the

Could

I dream

She

take

to

fervent

more

permit it,Maria.
I

forgot that.

life. I should

have

But

been

But

how

what
carried

can

will Fra

he

away,

Miguel

think

You

saved

say?

like poor

Sancho,

12

CONFESSIONS

but

for

Tell

you.

where

you

you.

Sit down
my

hand

Yes,

but

hold
M

are

What

"I'd

going, and

you
whence

there,

that

while
I 'm

on

CREGAN.

chanced

and

come,

you

Nay,

stone.

here, and

be

to

all about
need

you

n't

talking."
afraid

be

to

alone

it is !

sillycreature

talk

rather

should

we

how

me

CON

in the

here

dark,

said I.

Maria,"
"

OF

of the

begin."

future, Maria, dearest.

all the

of

speak

Now

happy

days

we

I 'd rather

spend

may

together."
so?

how

But

till my
home

sends

father

where

Far

will

do

"But

Caballero

people

wandered

tery
monas-

fetch

to

me

Heaven

away

then,

Placer,'and

the nunnery
they intend

who

has

free to turn

am

father

Perhaps your

would

not

smattering

some

of

theme."
real

Seiihor

miner!

turn

"

the

who

"

Caballero

fan-

'

They

for

tell what

is to

bid

'

Maria

Donna

wave

is

that

make

and

me,

might

and, by the way,

"

favor

might
then,

The

me

changes

adieu

the

to

good-bye to
very cruel destiny
a

you."

knows?

Who

"

"

thither?

go

one
a

and

"

follow?

might

of

Fortune

matter;

rich, and

not

"

Maria?

there."

all miners
"No

I will.

despise the services


knowledge upon many

'

at the

Grande, in the gold country,

Rio

the

away,

steps whither

are

and

have

call home,

you

beyond
near
Aguaverde."
"And
why should
my

his mules

wait

to

where."
And

"

I 'm

Bexar,

at

meanwhile, you

knows
"

Once

was

very
but you

"Possibly, Maria;
been
happy anywhere.

happy

'

Sacred

child, and

were

think

But

in the

of

Heart

would

I M

have

of

future; think

the

you will be loved, and will love in turn ; think


does not
the convent-window
of that bright world
of which
the time

admit
to

when

one

enjoy

passing glance.

sad

all that is great and

monotony
uncared
"

And

her hands.

in

is beautiful

whatever

with

Think

when

of

the

cloister,

for, almost
the

"

of

the

Nature,

good

gloriousfreedom
and

; and

its cold and

to

feel sympathies

the
reflect upon
ence,
cheerless exist-

unfelt."

Superior is

cross!

"

cried

she, holding

up

14
Good

"

admonished

I,

from

heavy sigh

once

Friar, however,

the

I crept to my
place,
; and
away
almost
the now
extinguished embers of

hasten

to

me

beside

down

lay

and

CREGAN.

again pressing
to
scarcely knowing when

lips,and

fingers to my

relinquishthem.

CON

sister," said

night, sweet

her

fire.

our

What

"

I,

I drew

as

"Chico's"
among

my

favor

my

recall

some

thoughts

good thought
cloak
my
and
beads

assumption
my
Donna

last

At

we

I fell

for
Nuns

down

on

shake

rough
man

all the

of Fra

the

caymans.

is

our

journey."

I had

half

each

either side of

her,

on

we

would

greatly

I then

tried to

this I reverted

From

gave

wondered

to

at the

other's confidence.

to

way

in the

scenes

gold-washing, and Friars riding


From
such pleasant realities a

Miguel aroused

day was breaking


suggested ; Donna

As

still

were

incongruity and
every
diseased
brain.
Nunneries,

Abbess,

were

offices"

me,

as

he

laughs so heartilyin his sleep,he may


Rise
grave thoughts for his waking.
breaking. Let us profitby the cool

day

one

haunted

ever

that

saddle-bags, and
pious character.

herself, and

Maria

Placers, where
cataracts

of the

I remembered

of

accomplished in
of
asleep, to dream

crocodile

the

"book

had

incoherency that
with

his

pilgrimage," said

the

; and

me

forgotten Latin.

of
of

that of

was

around

in

effects

rapid strides

OF

CONFESSIONS

set out

Maria
foot.

for

chance

Resolved

to

keep

up, Senhor ; the


hours to make

Bexar,

riding,the

cried, " "When

in the

Friar

manner

and

myself,
winning, so

upon
confidence, I addressed

Miguel's
my
almost
conversation
exclusively to him, rarely speaking a
then only upon
fair companion, and
the comword
monest
to my
questions of the way.
since the day previous,nor
of us had
eaten
As none
was
there any
sary
necesBexar, it was
baiting-placetill we reached
thither with all speed.
the best of our
to make
way
ing
the road
The Fra knew
perfectly,and by his skill in detectthe marks
trees, the positionof certain rocks, and the
on
of the streams, gave
some
me
course
insight into the acute
These
for
themes,
a
prairie traveller.
qualities necessary
conversation, which,
too, furnished the greater portion of our
offered
I am
free to own,
a
long interval of dreary
many
far

as

might be,

Fra

"A

NIGHT

Fra's

The

6ilence.

occasional

the

question about
Once
of

Maria

of

Fra

Miguel questioned
but

I had

ere

narrative,

remark

show

he

would

that

his

failed to excite

silence

plodding and moody as


length the path became
as

duties

my

companion
Miguel kept
other

at
"

awake

any

the

still,Fra

or

the

on

some

an

with

his

subject

length in

any
accidental

word

what

to

immediate

own

or
was

reflections.

biographical inventions
And
I relapsedinto a
so

interest?

which

me

inattentive

was

speaking, and only occupied by


Why, then, trouble myself

I became

late

condemned

proceeded

veracious

abreast, and

his

on

remark

chance

detailing my

At

15

TEXAS."

gloomily
myself were

and

exchange

history;

own

my

OF

FOREST

the road.

twice

or

thoughts dwelt

Donna

disaster, while
to

IN

own.

too

for

narrow

all to

us

go

of

Maria

bridle,
guide Charry by
of
circumstances
by force
;

up

close

behind, and

the

to

were

times, he

showed

now

however

himself

stracted
ab-

"wide

the

Denied
the pleasubject of our intercourse.
sure
of talking to each
other, we could at least exchange
a
glances ; and this was
privilegeno surveillance, however
These
small
and
are
rigid, could deny us.
insignificant
on

details,which
less

even

for

intent

its

upon
observe

me

future

the

love in

stirringsof

own

that

little moment

of

were

but

heart which
to

cares

for

the taste

record

might

admit

of

stratagem

time, and

the

at

them

have
others.
"

the

as

been

led to

deemed
And

here

the little wiles

first
too

let
and

the strongest
are
inspiredby a first passion
among
incentives
the secrecy of our
to its origin. It was
meeting
intercourse
at
night, the little difficulties of our
by day,
the peril of discovery as we
spoke together, the danger of
detection
as
we
mon
exchanged glances, that, by giving us a comobject, suggested a common
feeling. Both engaged in
the same
avoid
could
we
warfare, how
sympathizing with
snares

each

"

other?

about

Then, there

was

little "

that

of

dash

"

romance

first

meeting, so auxiliary to the tender passion ;


and, again, we
were
wandering, side by side, in a silent
other near
Would
could have
forest, with only one
us.
we
our

disposed

of

him

too

truth,

I often

wished

We

halted

during

shame

that he
the

had

to

say
followed

great heat

of

the

it, but,
the

in

honest

Mexican!

day,

and

the Fra

16

CONFESSIONS

once

Maria
and

rigging"

"

more

lay down

disposed to

that

that
time

the

say
than did

for

bore

hammock,
for

grass
made

Charry,
ail

us

his

the

resume

more

all that

road, I

privationswith

His

we.

Donna

monosyllables were
to

came

the Fra

I cut

fasting had
few

sighs grew heavy


interruptionon the road evoked

accidental

any

Long

silence, so

CREGAN.

siesta,while

down.

When

passed.
proud to

CON

his capote

out

for the

her

rubbed

OF

am

less equanimity

and

frequent;

unmistakable

of

irritation ; he even
expostulated with certain saints,
leaden
his sombrero, as to the preimages decorated
cise

signs
whose

for which

reasons

his present

sufferingswere

incurred

and

rebellious
altogether,as hunger pinched, showed
a
more
of the preceding evening
spiritthan his holy discourses
could

have

led

to

me

suspect.

One

of having
time, he charged his calamities to the score
eaten
turtle, which
was
only half fish,on a Friday ; at
that unlucky day the journey had been
another, it was
upon

begun
a

then

he

remembered

half-breed, who

that

the

possibly, if baptized

irregularkind of a Christian, admitted


stray missionary, more
trapper than
an

him

that his

uncertain

humor,

patron, Saint
and

often

sentiments

evening

As

Maria

closed

in, and

ghostly lamentations
laugh. A soft pressure
of

show

length

how
the

as

that

of
had

the

gloom

her

hand

in

sensations

our
"

11

some

Bexar

It has

Donna

at

been

Maria's

thought
be-

of
Pavia, was
his votaries, by
doubts

darkness
us

many

hand, which

assumed

near

favored
a

low, quiet

by

now,

me,

us,

would

mere
times
some-

sentiments, till at
of night fell around, such was
in

our

remained

further attempt to remove


any
the Fra's gratitude burst forth

sightof

he

certainlyinspired very
and
fication.
myself than edi-

without
If

Then

of

various

let fall

concurred

we

thicker

unanimity

our

she

course,

priest.

afforded

these

accident,

into the fold

tormented

Donna

in

only
only an
by some

was

all,was

at

Michel

of tryingtheir fidelity. These


way
of open grumblings, which
the form
different

Mexican

clasped in

my

own,

we

came

it.

eloquentlyas

through the gloom,


spangled lightsglittering
far more
akin to disappointment.
were
last,praised be Saint Michel ! exclaimed he.
a
long and dreary journey." Here I pressed
"

hand, and

she

returned

the pressure.

"A

"

Two

of

"

Nor

"

"

Of

love and

"

And

now,

me,

as

are

shall

how

novena'

shall

to

we

vow

Our

'

"Thanks,

"

Lady

of

friend," said he, addressing


for

is Bexar,

yonder
gratitude? Would
"

Tears,'

Saint

is

whose
of

Terapia?

need

no

"

like a
you
altar is here?
or

Nicomede

there

holy Father,

I.

muttered

part,

our

to

he.

fair

young

show

candle

Another

"

to

soon

best

we

"

companion.
distress !
quoth the Fra.

and

worthy
so

suffering!

sore

I to my

happiness !

my

17

TEXAS."

forget,"muttered

of trouble

we

and

OF

fingers.

never

I," whispered

season

FOREST

disaster

I shall

time

Senhora's

the

"

"

IN

of

days

squeeze

'

NIGHT

for

"

either; mine

than requited by the pleasureof


slightservice, more
and
that of this pious maiden.
travellingin your company
I have
learned
a
goodly lesson by the way, and will
many
I wander
them
think over
future pilgrimage."
as
on
my
was

"

And

"

To

help

that tend, Senhor?"

may

shrine

the

the

by

whither

of

of Saint

'

Our

bespoke anything rather


dangerous journey, young
"

"Trackless
even

said he, in

man

voice

it is

and

"

are

but

warning ;
more
fingers was

long

that

"

These

of

voice

deep rivers, hostile

and

wastes

Senhora's

the

Miguel,
pleasure; "

than

cruel half-breeds.

more

Aguaverde,

at

with

Fra

greater the merit, Father

The

Sorrows'

Francis."
exclaimed

"Aguaverde!"

of

Lady

Indians

of the

some

perils,"

gentle pressure

than

an

and

from
such

to

answer

terrors.

"You

your
of the Missions.

Convent
you

make

can

all

good

counsel

here, young

penance
There

; and

who
holy men
myself speak to

are

I will

the

at

man,

will

give

them

for

you."
I

about

was

quiet gesture
made
Thus

one

the

the main

that

aspect

to

VOL.

eyes

my
II.

"

Maria

of

on

the

reached

became

soon

politeintervention, when
arrested

words, and

my

offer, with thanks.

street

strange feature

this

Donna

chatting,we

entered
a

from

accept

me

decline

to

of

the

that

suburbs

town.

life of

And

here

let

and
me

this land, which,

accustomed
first

of Bexar,

to, had

acquaintance.

It

record

although
singular

most
was

soon

hot

and

18

CONKKSSloNS

("K

sultry night of June,


whole
and

in

day

summer

tln"

had

their

sleepingfor

were

al fresco.

by

dry and
English climate; and

our

population
There

moon,

stars

barely left

see

in the

passage

cool

that

the

the

streets,

night air,
"

lamplight, but
any
this strange encampment,

nor

could

we

the

of

as

found

we

disposedalong

benefit of

no

parched

as

beds

the

was

glimmering

which

air

the

CREGAN.

('ON

middle

for the mule-

carts.

Some

of

the

old

lady, with
snoring away,
to

and

fro

spot from

Virgin
fellow

sleep.
had

while

keep

the

sipping
Now

his

and

apology

fallen

babies,

over
nurses

There

was

chocolate
then
as

some

here

round

was

her

an

head,

would
one,

of

thin, lantern- jawed

before

there

the couch
were

waved

plaintan-bough
the mosquitoes, which
thronged the
of a little glimmering lamp to the

off

bed.

wench

negro

the inducement

over

muttered

yellow-and-red handkerchief

to

droll
irresistibly

were

groups

he
be

resigned himself
a

faint

feeling

his way

sleeper.

Mothers

singing others

old
to

and

scream

his nest,

to
were

to rest ; social

ing
nurs-

spirits

recallingthe last strains of recent convivialities ; while


others, less geniallygiven, were
uttering their "Carambas"
were

in

all

the

vindictive

anger

of

broken

slumber.

Now

and

"A

then

NIGHT

devotional

IN

FOREST

attitude

little

glimpses caught of some


for the night, and
throwing back
at the passing strangers.
Such

the

were

and

longer sojourn

still
halted

We
which

the

the

chief

and

various

four

gate

of

the

dint

by

Fra

between

high, the gates

were

at

tired,I had hoped that


thus
and
recompensed

and

in company,

presented

doubtless

covered
dis-

"

; and

interlocutions

successful

light had

more

hair to peer

transit

brief

toilet

large, gloomy-looking building


the
Venta
was
Nazionale,"

me

town

dishevelled

some

her

making

form

her

even

ones.

informed

of

stories

hungry,

the

Friar
inn

little

and

detected,

fair

even

singular

more

at

that

scenes

be

might

19

TEXAS."

OF

of

much

knocking,
and

Miguel

black,

length opened.
should

we

for

me

Faint,

have

supped

share

my

of

the

journey ; but the Fra, giving his orders


hastily,wished me an abrupt good night,"and led his niece
in the gloomy
stairs,leaving me and my mare
up the narrow
issue of the

"

entrance, like things whose


"This
"

myself,
country."

may
but

be

Meanwhile

high

any

much

about

the

looked

very

much

doze.

in

was

hearty kick

showed

noise, like
had
I

no

"

down

sat

if about

mood

and

perhaps

quality,or

my

of

my black
stable at once.

"

gentleness,and

so,

to

answer
"

he

gave

before,

witness

nor,

for

others

impressed
think

to

to

and

another

bestowing

brother," I told him


The

to

own

bench,

himself

to compose

to show

s,

me

this somewhat
a

kind

of

grin

species of hissing

Cheet, cheet," said rapidly,


to

not

stone

"

fancy

your

sleepy

too

on

strange one,
made
all his teeth, and
was

witnessed

never

any

matter,

upon

the way to the


rude summons
that

of

I was,

from

lighting the

after

negro,

to where

as

no

brought it

never

the

notions

longer needed.
Miguel," said I

were

gratitude,Fra

Texan

certainlyyou

upstairs,returned

by

services

certain

performance
reasons,

have

again.

cried I, tapping his


hear
fellow?"
black
me,
you
bullet-head
with the end
of my
as
heavy whip pretty much
the waiter.
does a tavern-table
to summon
one
"Do

"

Cheet, cheet, cheet," cried

energy.
"
Confound

that, and

lead

he

again, but

with

redoubled

"
get up
your jargon," said I, angrily;
This speech I
the way to the stable."

out
accom-

of

20

CONFESSIONS

free

to

his

to

sprang
infuriated

irritable

scarcely

passed

dashed

fled.

and

resound

he

as

in
made
blood

rushed

foot,

my

given,

impatience

of

am

thirty

is

hard

to

and

it

into

insensibility.

was

the

he

heavy

and

like

cry

then

the

threw

fell

arm

the
the

an

as

knife

of
to

of

my

bang

fellow

scream

out

plunged

the

ere

into

my
door

great

tering
wel-

ground,

!
effort

crept

it,

lips,

my

me.

the

out,

fast

ran

sensation

heard

great

at

beneath

blood

my

with

and,

stooping

but,

side,

'T

from

the

legs,

beast,

guard,

"

had

words

The

the

CREGAN.

fast.

hours'

all

with

own,

CON

admonition

auother

by

panieri

OF

over

die
last

to

from

me,

thus,"
effort

cry

out,

but
and

wound,

my
that

was

of

thought

the

voice

my

thought

consciousness,

failed

chill,

sickening

be

must

that

ere

me

death."

"

crossed
I

swooned

me,

22

OF

CONFESSIONS

;"(".'?,"

stamped

was

Few

people

illness.

of

them.

in

horseman

false,

assails

not

remember

to

incoherent

the

first moments

the

too

weighty

You

follow

for

the

light

ideas

your

like

have

its

brain

the

tissue
of

pitiableperiod, with

hunt;

nightcap.

enough

and

true

is

It

all

thoughts,
bear

fortunate

are

fancy, which

and

from

the front of my

upon

strange jumble
fact

which, for memory's sake, perhaps,

announcement

an

"

CKEGAN.

CON

of

recovery

thronging

that

should

ill-mounted

an

glimpse
again ; on you go,
by
game
cheered
the pace, but never
by success
tumbling into
; often
a
slough, missing your way, and mistaking the object of
pursuit: such are the casualties in either case, and they are
the

of

detest,

sit beside
at

caught

you

wearied

me

the

for

to

seem

without

grumbler

sooner

ones.

lest 1 should

Now,

me

no

it is lost

than

enviable

not

around

prospect

ask

me

all others

of

character
let

cause,

seconds

few

be

the

reader

to

bench, and look with


Yonder, that large white
this

on

him.

building, with grated windows, jail-likeand sad, is the


Leper Hospital of Bexar, an institution originallyintended
for the sick of that one
malady, but, under the impression
ing
to those laborof its being contagious,generously extended
The
disease.
under
lepers are that host who
any other
the

sit in groups
upon
little knots
of two

and

"

lameness,
are

with

hands

and

unnatural,

wail

of

or

reduced

infant.

an

to

would

him

appear
evincing this

into

of

Worse

exposed
more

to
than
to

their

horrible

every

voices,

The
a

walk

in

gait and
malady,
variety of

shambling

too.

"

without

fingers,faces

deficient

ordinary symbols.

the

minds

contorted

limbs,

Their

three.

dice, or

or

the terrible evidence

crippledfigures,
twisted

cards

at

grass,

are

noses,

either

husky

thin, reedy treble, like the

all,far
such

diseased

more

awful

to

companionship,
than

even

template,
con-

their

their bodies

by traits of ungovernable
hood,
of peevish childby the querulous irritability
passion, some
and some
vacuity of idiocy; and here
by the fatuous
all this, and
I gazing upon
speculating,by the aid of a
am
little bit of broken
long it is probable
looking-glass, how
of the human
that I shall retain the "regulation" number

some

features.

aberration

you
smile

may

miseries

such

at

nose," the
your
heavier infliction ; and it was
follow

morning

to be

that

sure

fit

reckoned

denied

upon

should

who

any

then

Here

I in

was

letter

lettingthe

P + L
nose,
my
of deaths
by torture.

prisoner,I

knew

Such

some

one

of

"

fire

to

of

horrible

thus

stood

case

situation
to be

thus
of

head

at the

punctured wound
advantages, not

in

of

case

finish

I
off

me

by

affections

chest

"

orders

with

little memoir

slippingaway

my
those

stationed

are

case, such my
my
I came
chain of events

did n't

of

chance

every

sentinels

accessory
ignorance, but which

doctor

written

even

nothing.

intelligible
by my
if the

family, but

was

my bed set forth that I was


several
the thorax," with

that

Not

escape.
the
with
danger
jail,

past, by what

of the

contagion,

this

prison, L the leprosy, and


being equal to any given number

"

are

an

represent

face,

my

protect the world


only is every leper

Algebraically, my

superadded.

disease

while

attempt

that,

to

grounds,

the

around

intervals

short

at

yet

blood-vessel

risk of

the

him, while

is refused

communication

of

map

cut

or

and

friends

is

to

geographical feature.

risk.

every

his

to

access

the

adopted

are

measures

from

walls

the

without

to

subjects to expose

guarded

the most

leg

"

trembling eagerness

of each

break

may

ever
how-

that
tell you
told you
who

me

consulted

master

was

all who

While

with

awoke,

as

at ease,

him
might deem
impossibilityof compliance

impertinent you

each

let

; but

live at home

who

England,

of

gentlemen

Ah,

23

BEXAR.

OF

LAZARETTO

THE

guessed
at

imply,

to

there

once,

over

was

lingeringmalady,

"

the

make

that

"

tunes
for-

profitableto the patients.


above
fact was,
One
however, very suggestive. It was
admission
to the hospital,
since the date of my
four months
for the gravity of my
that vouched
illness,
a circumstance
of events
number
well as
a
might have
as
showing what
of doctors, but

seldom

are

so

"

occurred
Four

in the
months

she

interval.
! and

forgotten me,
lorado; forgotten
left me,

wounded,
had

without

"

where

in

interest

any

them

Maria

now

on

the

forgotten the terrible scene


the starlit night in the forest?

perhaps dying?

rendered

Donna

was

"

That

my

sad

Fra

future,
return

Miguel

deserted

"

for

Had

the

should

Had
Col-

they
me,

services
have

done

24

CONFESSIONS

this,would

by
sprang
,k
brother"!

who

BAG

called

caused

have

me

CON

OF

surprise; but the Sefihora,


into intimacy with me,
and

no

me

"

bound

CREGAN.

Alas!

if this

were

what

so,

faith

placed in woman
'(t
vnin
1
information
these points from
those
In
on
sought
around
not the very
me.
My Spanish was
purest Castiliau,
could

be

; but

it is true

existed

and

edge
greater obstacle to knowlanything for the past, and very

here, another
no

cared

one

last event

; the

little for the future

that held

place

in their

the day of their admission, the fell malady


was
memory
the centre
round
which
all thoughts revolved, and I was
was

regarded

as

and

vague

scarcely

I could

opined that I had


with

where

like

face
the

by

my
slave

negro
stabbed
me.
All

the

out
not

"

of

tallied

spillingwater,
never
appeared to
"

inquiries as
saddle-bags, my

and

was

old

an

who

the owner,

in

fellow

determination, and

all

both

it

ture,
advenmy
these were,

Some

cared.

one

averred

whatever

ought to be, related a


having stolen a horse,

as

as

but

and

me

said

; a

negro
mulatto

few

woman,

being represented by
target, the bull's-eye

stories

representingme
and

done

nose

about

find

priest; others

about

rumors

on,

stances
asking about circumthe hospital. There

I entered

before

agreed

two

killed

had

visionary,when

shadowy

much

so

"

of

occurred

that
were

kind

who

traits, I
lower

me

in

the

as

bound

rative
nar-

overtaken

being

rescued

the most

cared
am

and

animal

particular,which

one

of

connected

more

and

was

in

desperate character

little for
to

general

shedding blood
acknowledge, which
Of

esteem.

course,

horse, poor
Charry, my precious
rifle,my
bowie-knife, and my " Harper'sto

my

proved less than useless,


actually
The
absurd.
such
questions
patients would have reckoned
of
little
of
mental
and
the servants
as
wandering,
vagaries
the house
never
replied to anything.
My next anxiety was, when I should be at liberty? The
I asked
a
doctor, when
him, gave
peculiar grin, and said,
shall
cannot
to look
at
want
"We
amigo; we
spare you,
of these days.
/ say it is perforated;
your pericardium one
ferry,"

Don
"

would

Emanuel
You

mean

have

says not.
I 'm
when

"

Time

will tell who

's

dead,

Seiihor, of

courser

right."
"

cried

I,

Of

case

take

I shall

that

care

is

Yours

"

instructive

very
and

portion of
preserved in the

heart

your

carefully injected,and

lung be

left

he.

do," said

course

and

the

by being

alive.

carved
"

difficulties

resolvingthe

of

the chance

fancying

not

25

BEXAll.

OF

LAZARETTO

THE

museum."
"

live a thousand
years! said I, bowing my
"May
you
that I thought I should
me
gratitude,while a chill crept over
fainted.

have
I

have

round

intervals

which,

were

which

the bank

up

look

feet, but
like

which,

the

Whenever

the

"

lesson

better

their

with

anywhere
bullet had
such

by
me,

"

judged

days

to be

far

were

Not
open

to

of

me,

from
what
my
that

were

twenty

some

theirs,was

gulf

of

gaze

to

than

for

one

their

what
the

fact, and

that

saw

their

own

admonitions
resolved

what

who

The
sentry's
escape.
himself
surrounded
saw

and

misery,
"Were

weak

and

and
the

wounded

who

leap

daily
to

calculations, made

calmly

of
weary
I felt I should
resume

life ;

were

all my
fancied

and
the

former

kill

condition

only anticipatinga

"

was

to

come

unlikely, it was
they !
days were
I

the

at

number.

that in my

to

on

thnidly into

lot,it could not


my
here ; so that, happen

effort

an

than

left them

be

themselves

dispersing them,

this

suffering

circumstance

; and

Such

terrors

one

of

station

administered

were

make

to

objects

expected

far from

horrors

more

few

as

called, and

remembered

death

might, I resolved

descent

"

prudently

If

profitby it.

be

could

terrors.

few

the

then, would

were

guards,

suggested,and

fears
of

the

care.

volcano.

heights,"as they

depths below,
no

beneath,

little group,

over

imaginations such

to

of

crater

desolate

the

of

"

placed at
a
precaution
and
crippled

utterly
majority were
were
only capable of creeping
boundary of the grounds, to

the

formed

into the moat

down

from

active

most

were

prevent escape,

crutches,

along upon

helpless,while the

to

savored

inmates,

sentries

that

judge

to

one

crawl

to

walls

the

of the

condition
able

mentioned

already

with
world
zest

few

tion.
reflecbut
in its

of
that the season
doings,
nay, I even
privation would
give a higher color to my enjoyment of it ;
and I know
that the teachings of adversity are not the least

sayings and

"

26

accessories

useful

luck

good

may

C REG

wits

whose

it,the emergencies

the

display

wii'clv

him

develop the

and

mariner.

hardy
in

creep

of life evoke

and

storm

Who

through

even

point the

must

the

as

resources,

AN.

knows,

road

to

the faculties
the

ship-

Con, but

punctured wound

in

thorax

the

is

True

fortune.

of

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

always recalled by a
day closed, the patientswere
round
if by
to see
bell,and patrol partiesof soldiers went
the walls.
The
accident
ance
performany yet lingered without
of duty was,
however, most
slovenly,since, as I have
occurred
to those whose
apathy of
already said, escape never
indifferent to
them
mind
and
infirmityof body had made
ing
everything. I lingered,then, in a distant alley as the eventhe

As

began
hear

it !

It

Free, and

at

to thiuk

was

"

strange

was

mingled hope and


next
evening at that hour?
wherever
fancy might lead

wanderer

"

of

bell rung
its dismal
out
it the last time I should

thrill of

I be the

liberty,

the occupant

or

the

when

should

Where

terror.

me,

fall,and

I trembled

summons,
ever

to

bed

narrow

some

beneath

the earth,

And, if so, who


no
waking?
sleeping the sleep that knows
than he who
had neither friend,
less easilybe missed
could
I felt that my
departure, like that
nor
family, nor fortune.
notice from
meet
of some
none
:
guest, would
insignificant
not

did

whom

to

If there

such
sense

and

what

ask

to

one

he

this

also which

that

was

Self-sufficiency, the
"

and

marshy tract,

undrained

"Lazaretto"

for
in

us?

he leave

very

sad

in the solitude

nerved

brother

of

of

the heart

by a
Independence ;

me

light,seemed

in the indistinct

did

I looked
the grassy
as
over
courage
peered into the gloom}7 fosse, which now,

thought gave

assisted

when

something unspeakably

was

embankment,

him?

farewell?

say

fate, there

of

of

became

miles;

keeping

and
and

up

far

deeper

than

ever.

uninhabitable, surrounded
if this insalubrious
the malaria

of

low,
the

hood
neighbor-

fever, it compensated,

by interposing an unpopulated
the
sick and
the healthy.
district between
These
a kind
dreary wastes, pathlessand untrodden, were
the patients for all kind of horrors,
of fabulous
region among
parted
peopled, as the fancy of each dictated, by the spiritsof deserpents and cobras, or by
Lcperos," by venomous
on

4t

the

other

hand,

LAZARETTO

THE

27

BEXAR.

OF

murder.
who
led a life of rapine and
escaped galley-slaves,
skimmed
The
along the
flittingjack-o'-lanternthat often
surface, the wild cry of the plover, the dreary night wind
these
miles of plain,aided
superstitions,and
sighing over
demanded
stubborn
whose
boration
corroconvinced
incredulity
many
As
for myself, if very far from
from
the senses.

crediting the tales


of

its character

which

to derive

comfort

from

would

assist

misty fog

to pursue
of

vapors

disease

know

Here

the dark

all

still.

was

in

dull

time

quick
They were
could

was

urging them
fog gathering
project

from

be

the

darkness,

the walls would

all;

that I could
I

where

seen

the

but

distance

Any

and
gering
lin-

to close surveillance

me

expose

foot

beneath

I should

instant, and

advanced

the very
scanned
the

about
be taken

go !

to

thirtypaces
I

Alas

stood, all

where

at

this

last moment,

and

relaxed, and, totteringunder

me,

darkness

from

clasped my

instead
gave

of

the

depth below,
black

was

me

was

and

; another

hands

together
clenched
lips,I

breath and
convulsively,and, with drawn-in
not
bent my knees to spring. Alas, they would
me

edge

to

only have
about

was

undistinguisbable.
The patrolwere
now

limbs

make

longer delay now,


forever, seeing that my

earth.

abandoned

suddenly, and

cliff : would

failed

was

future.

arose

and

rightto

the

over

must

outside
the

had

on

great, and already I could hear the corporal


forward, as the mists were
rising,and a deadly

be

not

was

visible

not

I the

the

tated,
hesi-

mind

before, my

moment

of

till
subtletythat had not occurred
tramp of the patrol routed my musings, as
the alley towards
me.
up
party advanced

This

The

now.

on

and

better ? or, if it were,

grave

choice?

the

for

all the

like self-destruction
to go
it seemed
up ; and now,
terrible existence, truly; but
life ! a sad and
was

made

my

worth

were

resounded,

why

not

if it

as

that the

me

region impregnated with


bell had
ceased, the bang

The

had

great iron wicket

Determined

bethought

concealment,

through

me

source,

cold

distance, from

already rising.

was

my

with

was

the wide

over

eyes

every

it

left

theme

to, the

mind, and

my

upon

my
exhalation

heavy

while

gloom

listened

often

so

I strained

that

shudder

had

! my
of a

way.

strength
leap, my
I lost

my

28

OF

CONFESSIONS

fell

balance, and
fern

to be

me,

I
a

down

"

shock,

of

terrible

to

"

and

as

left

into

in duck-weed

fancied
I

"

squash

that I had

even

I knew

surface

long

waist

my

; and

me,

the grassy

grass
till consciousness

"

nay,

"

nerves

my
of wall above

tufts

felt,however,

soon

braced

mass

been

down

"

reedy swamp
and muddy water,
other injurythan
no
at

dark

Grasping

again into life by


the bottom.
Up

rallied

had

CREGAN.

of despair,I tore

I fell down

as

the cliff!

over

the energy

with

CON

that the

looked

that my

sustained
cussion
con-

the

at

up

fall must

have

terrific.

Neither

habiliments
my
this ditch ; but I did rescue

bodily energy

my

in

favored

nor

escaping from
myself at
reach some
last,and then, remembering that I must
place of
the moor,
refuge before day broke, I set out over
only
my
back
at the lightsof
pilotagebeing the occasionallylooking
the hospital,
and, in sailor-fashion, using them as my point of
creeping along the walks of the Lazaretto,
departure. When
such a good ally is a
I was
now,
barely able to move
; and
strong " will," I stepped out boldly and manfully.
the night cleared, a light fresh breeze
As I walked
on,
me

vapor,
myriads of

overhead,

on
guide me
stealingover

inmates

me,

me

to

with
run,

I made

immense

myself

at

the

forest,which

dense
clear

evening

the

ecstasy

gained
tree

the

beaten
of

of

haven

a
upon
bore the

came

in

its

me

half

the

efforts.

new

fears

these

out, and
I often

Lazaretto

served

felt

and

Sometimes

while

went,

to

fatigue

its fearful

so

possessed

that I

often

I remembered

have

to

seen

With

the

of

what

seemed

to

around
a tree, in
refuge ! I threw my arms
I had
indeed
delight, and felt that now
my
of rest and safety. By good fortune, too, I

pathway
name

of

small

and

pine-forest.

could

piece

village;

light; still,it

track,

of

garden of the Lazaretto.


accept that leafy shade, which

from

gratitude did I

promise

to

If

waste.

thought

as

actually increased
my
the
to
and
thus, exertingmyself
very utmost,
to
and
ere
break, found
day began
progress,
and
the entrance
to a
margin of the moor,

did I become

speed

trackless

me

shone

bright stars

the

nerved

refreshed

and

dissipated the

enough

was

not

but

be

of

board

nailed

this I could
that

lost in the

was

dense

not
sure

to

read
of

intricacies

30

CONFESSIONS

made

OF

capitalsupper,

I resolved

CREGAN.

chestnuts

some

a delicious
furnishing

the trees

CON

that

dessert.

had

Night

fallen

from

fast closing

was

passing it where I was, the shelter


of the little hut being too
tempting a refuge to relinquish
easily. The next morning I started early, my mind
fully
satisfied that I was
foot party, the path
preceded by some
not
admitting of any other, with whom, by exertion, I should
be perhaps able to come
I walked
from
day to dawn
up.
with scarcely an
interval
of rest, but, although the tracks
of many
feet showed
me
conjecture was
right,I did not
my
succeed
in overtaking them.
Towards
evening I again came
was
even
more
abundantly
upon their bivouac-ground, which
provided than the preceding one.
They appeared to have
killed a buck ; and
entire side,
an
though having roasted
in, and

had

on

themselves

contented

this I feasted

Upon

last

to

In

this

the

I continued

way

steaks

some

off the

luxuriously,securing

for

me

with

next
to

two

sufficient

vision
pro-

three

or

travel

quarter.

days.
eight entire days,

for

hoping to overtake the party in advance,


and, if disappointedin this expectation,well pleased with the
far with food, and
made
so
good luck that had supplied me
A
both.
single
journey safe and pleasant; for it was
my
beast of prey
I never
met
with, nor
a
even
serpent larger
each

successive

than

the

bold

; and

common

for

him

Leperos
On

ninth

who

indicated

forest

day

of

that

grass

was

had

is neither

free.

been

Was

my
was

became

twisted

the

of winter

storms

heavy

grew

change

of

at

scene.

stretchingaway
tract

of

swampy

the

winds

and

currents

who

has

watched

eyes every little change in the


at last evident
to the least observant

and

among

wandering, certain unmistakable


approaching the verge of the
less dense ; the
deeper, the wood

with anxious

bark

nor

that alone

not

prisoner

the influence of
undergrowth, too, showed
of air.
These, only appreciable by him

became

venomous

of Bexar

signs

the

pleasure, I

for

"

the

snake, which

green

as

happiness
i '

one

were

these

branches
directed.

of

the

Shall

signs, boding,

aspect of Nature,
in the thickened

trees,
I

own

as

on

it?

which

My

they did,

the
heart

another

Perhaps the bleak prairie,


such
in dreary desolation !
Perhaps some
And

moor,

to what?

where

forests

once

had

stood, but

LAZARETTO

THE

OF

31

BEXAR.

of rottenness
and
waste
corruption;
lying in mere
"clearings," as they are called, the little intervals which
hard
industry plants amid universal wildness, I could not
now,

for, since

hope

selected

these

the

roads

and
Not

the

While
of

the

often

heard

chain
the

to

the

miles

Rocky

water

difficult,

was

to

Mountains,

next?

come

to

away

ever

the

ward
east-

they lay

"

west.

yet revolving these

thoughts, I
and

; and

wood

settlers

no

then, was

be

must

of

by

What,

that

"

that

access

bad.

and

few

the

far

equally

had

places, to which

sea-coast,
not

reached

the

without

verge
which

suddenly,
anything
of this singular change, I found
might apprise me
myself
standing on the verge of a great bluff of land overlooking an
apparently boundless
plain. The sight thus unexpectedly
was
whelming
overpresented of a vast prairie for such it was
in its intense interest.
My position,from a height
of some
rupted
uninterseven
or
feet, gave me
an
eight hundred
"

view
far west,

The

and

miles

and

east,

of this

surface

tract

great

tall,rank

like

something
a

when
and

looked,

glory ;

but

clearer

view

trees, grass,
up

I
heart
there

of

not

wing

within

few

brought

days

uncared
me

for !

Were

It

sat

or

hours
And

it not

seen

for

short

fire ;

recent

was

and

and
near

of

space

beyond

the

solitude

move

this

over
a

sound

the most

plete
com-

; not

imposing ! How
looked, thinking I
to lingerout,
me,

life,and

die

unseen,

my
was

haps,
perun-

destiny had ambition


craving desire to become

to this sad

for

to

air above

the

grand

"

creature

one

was

cleaved

as

me

alone, without

watched,

kind

any

conceived,

ever

some

the distance.

animals

stillness beneath.

sank

to

"

great plain;
the

bounded

by

; but

seen

"

appearance.
Not
creature
a

broke

be

the

frequently marching in close


in search
of water.
The
sun
was
settingas I
vast
picture with its yellow
gilded the whole
beneath
it sunk
the horizon, and
as
permitted a
of the scene,
I could perceive that everything
earth itself
dry, burntpresented one uniform

buffalo-trail,these

column

Towards

I could
trace
through which
grew,
I afterwards
This
as
learned,
was,

grass
road.

could

covered

was

killed

by dry cedars, apparently


that,

surface.

flat horizon

low

of

mountains

ridge of rugged

the south

miles

over

"

62

above

something
neither
should
in my

native

those

of

And

this

for

peasant, livingby my

tried to

pray,

I hid

heavy.

I could

but

his

confessor

within

The

not.

is not

mind

of whom

the

last

for supplication.
before

night

"

"

hard

how

"

read,

once

acknowledged
look steadfastlyat
one
only theme,
escape ! "To
world, you must
extinguish the light of this one ;
difficult is that !

the

"

attentive
and
for a while, but
eager
centred
that his thoughts were
upon

execution, seemed

at

uor

my hands,
harassed
by

I had

to visit him

came

was

in the best mood

I felt like the criminal


the

head

my

better

it

as

track

worn

I neither

insensate, foolish

"

conflictingthoughts

that, when

daily labor

thoughts travellingin the

wish

indeed

various

humble

sphere to which
title,and I
any

me

neighbors journeyed, and


than
they.

expiation is
and

in

move

abilities gave

my

land, my

to

CREGAN.

my

off

worse

nor

the

now

station,

my

birth

my
be

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

to close

through which

chink

every

the next
and

and

how

fissure

hope may dart a ray,


hope of life,hope of
renewing the strugglein which we are so often defeated, and
where
the victory is without
value !
even
"
Be it so," sighed I, at last;
the game
is up!
and I
lay down at the foot of a rock to die. My strength, long
sustained
by expectation,had given way at last,and I felt
"

"

"

the hour

that
hand

across

there
the

of

my

and

"

act,

release

eyes,

or

which

pool

red

one

volumes
the

thousands

were

No!

spark, burst
of

black

if my

vision

forth

smoke

been

into

plain beneath,

the

the

of

sky,

in

now,

star,
some

from

great blaze, rolling out

which

tears

were

by

real fire,which

was

my

cleared

it the reflection

studding

now

I drew

there

had

in the

Was

it

distant.
to own

I saw,

flame.

rain-water?

of

as

be

not

ashamed

am

thought

glitteringsparkle of
of

"

just then,

I saw,

could

like

rose

column

into

air.

Were
be the

they

Indians

party in whose

and, if

so,

by

is half-brother

what
to

who

made

track

it, or

I had

path had
No
Hope.

this

they

about

to

seek

for

some

long

been

descended?
had

sooner

proposition than it aroused


rallied my
failingcourage.
I set

so

trappers ?

my

clew

or

could

it

following ;

Speculation

begun

to

canvass

drooping energies, and


to

the

descent, and

by

LAZARETTO

THE

OF

33

BEXAR.

full and
now
moonlight, which was
strong, I
in the clayey soil near
of the
the verge
foot-tracks

detected

the

I found

little after
the

down

face

upon
I knew

least

foot-tracks

The

of

drop

light.
and

the bottom
which

rags

from

which

in

received

my
would

the

no

to

spring, or

tinct
indis-

the

bruise,

sore

reduced

drapery was
done

have

path,

interval

danger by
many

flannel

the

perilous;

accomplished by
I

than

feet.

increased

transit

the

In

string of

be

had
which

by these,
signs," no more

often

rocks,

at

feet, was

I reached

ere

to

tedious, and

hands

human

courage

of Indian

was

to lead

scratched, too,

were

that

Indian

those

several

fact

seemed

prairietravellers,but

to

gained
"

not

footing should

next

the
I

abruptly short

trees

familiar

them.
were

The

were

descent

stopping
the

bluff.

the

at work

been

the

of

pathway, which

narrow

places with marks


me
only betokened

in many
which
to

at

cliff.

credit

to

scarecrow.

When
to be

looking from
immediately at

about

half

the

its foot ; but

now

the fire appeared


cliff,
I perceived it stood

plain. Thither I bent my steps,


half fearing, half hoping, what
So wearied
might ensue.
I by the fatigueof the descent, added
to the long day's
was
in this short space
I was
often obliged
journey, that even
take rest.
to halt and
Exhaustion, hunger, and lassitude
along with that half-despairing
weighed me down, till I went
effort

mile

the top of

off in the

swimmer

worn-out

makes

his

last

easy

to

as

before

sinking.
A

pitiableobject

more

The

blood
had

from

oozing
stained

my

it would

not

be

picture.

re-opened by the
dress, which, ragged and
wound,

my

flannel

tion,
exer-

torn,

almost to a skeleton.
glimpses of a figurereduced
My
beard
the
of
to
was
long, adding
seeming length
my gaunt
and
lantern
jaws, blue with fatigue and fasting. My shoes
in tatters,and
were
protection to my bleeding feet ;
gave no
while
hands
and
torn
cut by grasping the rocks
were
my
and
boughs in my descent.
Half-stumbling,half-tottering,
I came
onward
till I found
myself close to the great fire,at

gave

the

base

which

of

formed

Around
VOL.

mound

a
a

immense

the
II.

"

shelter

"

"Prairie

against
blaze

roll,"as

the

sat

east
a

it is called

"

wind.

party,

some

of

whom

in

34

CONFESSIONS

in

shadow, others
ever

CON

CREGAN.

strong light,presented a group

the strangest

Bronzed
and
bearded
nances,
counteeyes beheld.
fierce expression glowed fiercer in the ruddy

my
whose

of

glare

OF

the

fire, were

off

set

by

the

costumes

oddest

Imaginable.
Many
of

the

material

same

red-brown
of

often

seen

of

which

the

thirty in number.
cooking utensils,were

Packs

ramrods,

"cuisine"

of
"

of

in the

did

at

with

; but

which

rude

the great

evidence

that

carcase

chevaux-

the

cares

aid

unnecessary

any

guishable
distin-

some

flames, supported by

demand

not

or

twenty-eightor

some

knapsacks,

best

one

piled near
hung a little

bowies," from

around

the

was

were

of the cedars
"

tume
cos-

belt

alone

were

muskets

company
and

leather

shining implements,

hammer

strewn

saw

of

had

again,

broad

Several

stood.

estimate

"ponchos"

"

boughs
cutlasses, pistols,and

deer which

in
some,

various

pickaxe and
I

and

the scorched

on

of
armory
able to
was

de-frise

dressed

was

fastened

were

small

them, and

ragged uniforms

a
ornaments,
copper
half-breeds.
All agreed in

which

equipment,

tall caps
of different

with
the

among

where

of

had

were

studded

coat

girdle,in which
of

two

or

sheepskin, with

cloth, like Mexicans,


buff

feature

undressed

; others

One

services.

kind

of

coats

wore

from

casseroles."
A

of

great earthen

pitchers passed rapidly from


hand
to hand
round
the circle, and, by the assistance
of
to
some
blackhead, served
beguile the time while the
"roast"
was
being prepared.
I gained a little clump of
Creeping noiselesslynearer,
brushwood
than
half-a-dozen
off, and
scarcely more
paces
then
to listen what
lay myself down
language they were
one
speaking. At first the whole buzz seemed
unmeaning
couple

jargon,

like

more

else ; but

Spanish,

of

tongue

I listened

an

I could

Indian
detect

tribe
words

than
of

German.

out
some
Eager to make
class they might belong, I leaned
forward
on
listened attentively. A
stray word, a chance

what

and
could
my

and

as

the

ear

I but
with
was

catch
the
the

so

most

crest

much,

would

watchful
of

the

be

enough

intensity.
little ridge, or

The
"

thing
any-

French,
clew
a

and

bough

phrase,
I

bent

spot I

Prairie

to

cupied
oc-

roll,"

THE

and

LAZARETTO

OF

35

BEXAR.

while the black


the group,
perfect view over
smoke
concealed
from
them.
me
rollingupwards effectually
I listened,I heard
As
a
deep husky voice say something
of my
in English. It was
only an oath, but it smacked
country, and set my heart a- throbbing powerfully. I lay
out

gave

me

the branch

upon

the frail timber,

went

behind

In

them.

catch

to

and, with

second

might follow, when

what
a

cry

every

one

of

I rolled

terror, down

was

his

on

legs, while

"

jaguars ! the jaguars ! resounded


cry of "The
The
sudden
their discipline seemed
shock
over,
a

the whole

and

party had

stood

in

shut

sight of

and

me,

directed
their

As

upon

was

after

second

steady contemplation of me, the whole


of
a
roar
laughter. "What
savage
!

human

"

being the exclamations

strange tongue,
Unable
I sat

to

attack.

effectually
they caught
file of

two

seemed

passed in

burst out
group
is't?"
"It's

which, in

more

ketry
mus-

than

into
not
one

uttered.

were

speak,

or

any

Such

pitiable object.

more

; for

away,
formidable

for

to their arms,

cleared

these

truly never

conviction

own

and

view.

perfect ;

prepared to receive
the
falling rubbish

square,

all sides.

on

themselves

betaken

once

smoke

from

out

me

hollow

the

Meanwhile,

at

smash

in part from

terror, in part from

shock,

knees, and, gesticulatingwith my


hands,
my
their mercy,
and bespoke my
defencelessness.
own
on

up

implored
I conclude

that I made

exhibition, for again the


than
tones
laughter burst forth
before, when
one,
brand
of
the
to
taking a
nearer
burning firewood, came
He
threw
down
examine
his torch, and, springingbackward
me.
with horror, screamed
out, a "lepero!" a "lepero!"
In

and

very
in louder

moment

directed

"I'm
"

I 'm

not
a

poor
Lazaretto."
the

every musket
towards
me.

was

lepero
Englishman
a

never

"

I could

who

not

sorry

again

raised

was!"
has

utter

cried

made

more,

to the

shoulder,

I, in Spanish.

his escape
from
the
but fell powerless to

earth.

"

I know

"Halt!
to

leeward

of water

Perez

him;

avast

we

there!

don't

of the fire.
over

messmates,"

were

fire!

There,

cried

I say,

my
that will do.

gruff voice.
lad, crawl over
a

Dash

bucket

him, Perez."

obeyed

with

vengeance,

for

was

soaked

to the

CONFESSIONS

8G

and

skin,
of

the

at

time

same

great lire, where

the

CON

OF

CREGAN.

exposed
steamed

the

to

scorching glare
like

away

at

swamp

sundown.

Cregan,

Y'n't you

""

which

cried

say?"

; "a'n't

before

spoke

the

little Con,

you

English voice

same
as

to call

used

we

yoa?"
I, overjoyed by the recognition,without
the little Con
it was
made, "I am
by whom
you
said

Yes,"

"

knowing

speak of."
I remembered

Ah,

44

said he.
*'

Don't

"

Caramba

going

not

"

you
broke

catch

to

Tell

it,"

"

're
we
savage-lookingSpaniard ;
cences.
leprosy for the sake of your reminisin

"

fellow

the

me?

remember

I heard

the moment

voice

your

to

I'll send

off, or

move

bullet

through him."
And

"

I '11follow

I; and

"And
action

the

to

I," cried

two

three

or

speech, threw back


the priming.

the

to examine

muskets

you."

I '11do?
shall I tell you what
lay the first fellow's skull open

And

"

"I'll
fires

the

"

who,

more,

of

pan

said the
with

suiting
flint-

the

Englishman.

this

hanger that

at him."

shot

so?"

"Will

you
his legs,and

said

drawing

thin, athletic fellow, springing to

long, narrow-bladed

knife

his

from

girdle.
"

there, Rivas," said another

truce

"

would

quarrel

you

"

Capitan for a miserable lepero ?


"
He's
not
a
Capitan of my making," said Rivas, sulkily.
"
of whose
I don't care
making," said the Englishman, in
of this expedition:
the leader
his broken
Spanish; "I'm
If half a
if any one
deny it,let him stand out and say so.
out
one
of you deny it, come
dozen
by one : I ask nothing

with

the

better
A

to show

than

low

muttering

of admiration

or

here."
the best man
you who's
this speech, but whether
followed

anger,

I could

resolve was
formed,
my own
and
knee
I rolled upon
one
"

Hear

me

of you
as

am.

for
to

one

as,

determine.

gathering my

said,

not

an

were

Meanwhile
limbs

together,

"

instant, Senhors.

quarrel about

Although

not

it

It would

object

lepero,I

so

have

poor
made

and
my

be

worthy
un-

less
worth-

escape

38

CONFESSIONS

"*

You're
;

your

sit

him

Let

"

OF

said

yonder, then,"

afeard

more

CBBGAN.

CON

that disease

of

n't be

though you need


beauty you were

the

squeamish,

thinking

Englishman

the bite of

than

cayman
if it 's

of you,

most

of."

amid

tale of the insidious character


of
a
many
of prethis fell disorder, and many
a rude
jest on the score
caution
ordered
I
about
to
at
seat
was
it,
a
myself
against
thus

And

dozen

towards

thrown

receive

by the others,
of anything but

me

food

my

it

as

was

happy at this humble


good fortune of such

too

"

think

privilegeto
a

distant, and

twenty paces

or

the

meeting.
"Don't

remember

you

full

the

standing where

yet?"

me

the

of

glare

cried

the

Englishman,

fire lit up

his

marked

features.
you 're Halkett."
I'm glad you don't forget me."
I am,
lad.
be sure
This
the first time
I?
is not
saved
should
you

"

Yes," said I,

"

To

"How

life."

my

when

when

to-morrow,
is not

here

very
don't cross

yacht :
"

"

What

are

you must
rested and

what

they?

Gambusinos,"

me

he, in

he,

all about

refreshed.

that

The

remember
may
you '11do well with

said I,

said

well," said

crew

aboard

you

them, and
"

so

tell

but

are

you
unlike

succeeded

I had

scarcely thought
we
parted last;

"I
"

"

the

them."

eagerly.
a

low

voice.

"Bandits?"

whispered I, misconceiving the word.


"Not
quite," rejoined he, laughing; "though, I've
could
doubt, ready to raise a dollar that way if any one
in these

found
with

wild

parts

this,he commended

me

scarcelyspoken

were

ere

little richer
to

sound

obeyed

the

than

themselves

sleep,and

no

be
"

the words

summons.

by the noise of approaching


strapping on knapsacks, slinging
departure ; the band were
muskets, and making other preparations for the march ;
his
their captain, carrying nothing beyond
Halkett, as
and in his air and
manner
assuming all the importance
weapons,

day broke,

Before

of

The
column

spared

"

was

aroused

command.

Lepero,"
at

about

all burden,

as

was

hundred
in

called, was
paces

compassion

ordered

to the
to my

rear

weak

to follow
; but

as

the
was

state, I readily

LAZARETTO

THE

for

compounded
conferred.

this

rude

coffee, made

some

OF

39

BEXAR.

invidious

meal

position,by the benefits it


rye-bread and cold venison, with

of

breakfast, and

started ;
we
away
prairieI have already spoken

our

our

of.
path lying through the vast
As
during my state of " quarantine," which lasted seven
entire days, we
continued
to march
along over a dreary tract
of monotonous
ity
desolation, nothing varying the dull uniformof each day's journey, save
the chance
sight of a distant
"

herd

buffaloes,the faint

of

blackened

the

readers

embers

by dwelling

of
on

Indian

an

bivouac,

war-party,

I will

"

reflections

own

my

of

traces

not

as

weary

or

my

plodded

on

I say

oftener
sad than
otherwise.
they were
The uncertaintyregarding the object of my
fellow-travellers
harassed
odd
by a thousand
conjectures. It was
my mind
clear they were
not
merchants, neither could they be hunters,
of those
still less a "war-party,"
one
marauding bands
when

enough,

"

which

the

on

the

upon

frontier

Texan

the

villagers,on

against the

Indians.

of

Mexico

plea of

Although

levy

black-mail"

"

pretended

well

armed,

protection

neither

their

their

discipline,nor, still less, their numbers,


argued in favor of this suspicion. What
they could possibly
insurmountable
I knew
be, then, was
an
puzzle to me.
they
called Gambusinos,
were
Supposing that
nothing more.
weapons,

"

be wiser than
not
I then was,
let
my readers
may
take this opportunity,while traversingthe prairie,
to say
me
in a few words
what
they were.
of

some

The
a

Gambusinos

are

the

gold-seekersof the New World,


and
importance, divide society with

class

the

"

who, in number
Vaqueros," the cattle-dealers,into

"

sections.

Too

poor

to become

possessors

two
of

almost

equal

mines, without

capital for enterpriseon a larger scale, they form bands


districts
wandering discoverers,traversingthe least-known
the Sonora, and spending years of life in the wildest recesses
of

the

from

Rocky

subject
rebellious

the

self-chosen

and

obedient.

Their

skill

of

Mountains.

Associating together generally


munities,
purely accidental, they form little com-

circumstances

and

of

to

distinct

laws

and

however

under

ordinary control, beneath


leaders
they are reputed to

is,

as

may

be

judged, rude

as

turbulent
the

be

of
sway
submissive

their

habits

40

CONFESSIONS

OF

CON

CREGAN.

the
They rarely carry their researches to any depth beneath
surface ; some
general rules are all their guidance, and these
are
easilyacquired. They are all familiar with the fact that
the streams
which
descend
from
the Rocky Mountains, either
the Atlantic

towards
vast

of earth, which

masses

these

Pacific,carry in their autumnal

or

deposits

sometimes

are

the

form

deposits in the plains; that


often
charged with precious ores, and
great pieces^of pure gold. They know,

contain

besides, that

floods

is the

quartz rock
found, and

usual

that these
precious metals are
from
the large mountains,
easily known,
clothed
never
by vegetation,and called in

bed

where

rocks

form

the
spurs

because
their

they are
phraseology

"Crestones."
A

sharp

Gambusino,

the

of

stroke

short

suspected ; and,
of

Often

the

mere

lustre

of

the

There

metal
extent

distinguishthemselves
and
profitablesources
the rank

rise above

sands

product

is

of

of

traverses

to

west,

rock

where

their

is

tested.

once

display the shining


Such

do.

to

more

is, for

the

skill.

here ; and some


will
their fellows in the detection
of

above
rich

crestones," while

"

washers,"

"

mere

and

the vast

will

treasure

to the action

is at

gold

of

staff

gradations even

Such, then, is the life of


he

the

of the barreta

deposits of
gold-dust.

sift the

barreta," the iron-shod

existence

without

of course,

are,

"

fragments being submitted

the

stroke

part, the

most

the

shivers

soon

strong fire, the

of

in which

Gambusino."

"

continent

South

of

rarely
employed to

men

"

rivers

the

others

the chief

In this
America

pursuit

from

east

pices,
crossing torrents, scaling cliffs,descending preciencountering
braving hunger, thirst,heat, and snow,
Indians

hostile

and

the

not

terrible

less

bands

of

rival

contestingfor existence with the wild animals


of the desert, and
generallyat last paying with his life the
price of his daring intrepidity. Few, indeed, are ever seen
their native villages; nearly all have
old men
as
among
of the
the scorching sand
beneath
their last rest
found
adventurers,

prairie.
their
resources

subject
perfect
abounding

other
every
minds
a
were

Upon

of

land

than

that

blank.
in the

of

For

treasure-seeking,
them, the varied

products of

every

dime,

LAZARETTO

THE

41

BEXAR.

OF

contrary, the soil which grew the


coffee, the olive,and
maize, indigo,cotton, the sugar-cane,
sterile and barren, since in such regions no
the vine, seemed
had

On

attraction.

no

gold was
torrid

with

men

recognized but one


vegetation of
the

intersect
The

To

with

to steal from

strange and
wandered

Many

dry

over

avowed

rious
glo-

of the

courses

that

adventure, too, that they led

varied

these

and

deserted

trackless
slavish

that
that

tion
subjec-

vicissitudes

of

of

excitement

"

"

themselves

narratives

wondrous

wastes.

gambling : rich
Virgin,"
gold to the
of
the terrors
sacrilege

the

was

lamp of solid
beggary, they braved
the very altar they had

vowed

in

the

from

Cordilleras,or the stony gorges

and

there

successes

to-morrow,

we

to the

garden

presented an aspect of
uniformity ; while in the very

dull

to-day,they

What

turned

civilization

them,

their

hearts

Mountains.

life of wild

and

Their

this rich

Rocky

associated

was

idol.

that fissure the

torrents

that series

the

on

the
of

the estimation

of
fertility

wondrous

Andes, unite the fruits of the


lichens of the icy North, had no value in
who acknowledged but one wealth, and

which,

zone

The

found.

ever

of terraces

the

did

decorated.

they

recount

as

swelling prairie!
their

own

had

to the

years
heart

the Choctaws
confessed
that his
prisoner among
still lingered with the time when
he had sat as a chief
the war-fire,
and planned stratagems against the tribe
rival Pawnees.
To men
of hardy and energetic temperament,

of the

; and

who

first driven

them

beside

life of the deserts

misdeeds
one

had

lived

for

recklessness

an

immense

fascination.

in

Life

is

much
for whatever
to care
peril,they cease
dangers
enit ; and thus,through all their stories,
the one
feeling
careless
indifference
risk
to
a
ever
predominated,
every
in time of danger.
coupled with a most resolute conduct
I soon
managed to make myself a favorite with this motley
assemblage ; my natural aptitude to pick up language, aided
by what I already knew of French and German, assisted me
to a knowledge of Spanish and
Portuguese ; while from a
"
" half-breed
I acquired a sufficiency
of the Indian
dialect in
Prairies.
I was
fleet of foot,beuse
sides
throughout the Lower
shot
with
the
being a good
rifle, qualitiesof more
request among
companions than many
giftsof a more
my
brilliant order ; and, lastly,my
skill in cookery, which
I
so

often

has

"

"

42

CONFESSIONS

derived

from

education

my
and

esteem

from

unpleasant.

marched

was

kind

reader

and

"It

say,

was

the
I

feelingfar

plain

fact

is, I

would

have

been

sorrow

life

me

therefore

was

far

cast

almost

he

called

on

many
a

many
confess

to

perhaps, my
anticipatedmy grief,
as,

of

Donna

more."

see

over

ashamed
more

has

selfish than

more

shade

the

to

never

existed

sullicient to embitter

remembrance

was

drawback

only

was,

already fancy

was

her

of

memory

of

will

Firefly,"won

"

monotony of the tract over which we


than
compensated for by the marvellous

more

source

AN.

The

One
beguiled the way.
happiness ; and yet that was
my
of the night, and
a lonely hour
joyous hour of the day. I am
that

the

My

tales that

what

C KEG

board

on

honor.

much

high

CON

OF

the

Maria;
Alas, no!

this afflicted

It
The

me.

"The

Lepero." By no other
would
It
or
name
companions know
acknowledge me.
my
thus they first addressed
not take
was
me, and so they would
the trouble
to change my
appellation. Not that, indeed, I
the subject; such
hint
dared
to insinuate a wish
a
upon
where

one

was

to

was

no

wall-like

that

but
"

when

me

the horrid

so

company

came

"

vigor of

bull

half -trained

the

Colpo-

on.

the wildest

the

of
' '

tang,"
mus-

flight;I might climb


rob
the eagle of her

her

thus

And

"

in all the

appeared

Bravo, Lepero !

was,

I bear

did

badge of that dreary time when

that met
about

I dwelt

with
within

of Bexar.

the Lazaretto
very

in

and
cliff,
back, the cry of welcome

of

surface

me

The

Blut," and

and

buffalo

young

Teufel's

purpose

hazard

to

strength. I might outrun


herd ; I might spring upon
and outstrip the antelope in

health

the

"

stroke

Brise-ses-fers,"another,

"

called

was

di-Sangue,"a third,
It

bold

too

fact that

the

was

name

the
reproach increased
for no reply on
part ;
my

or

not

of

measure

it summoned

used

in terms

of scoff

its

injury.

It called

no

energy

of

ance
resist-

simple recognition of certain


and
made
identity;
qualities that distinguishedme
up my
did it work
extent
and at last, to such an
nation
imagiupon
my
that 1 was
that I yielded myself up to the delusion
and
outcast
all that they styled me,
a
an
leper! When
; it was,

as

it were,

"

this conviction

before, but

settled down

on

my

mind,

I ceased

to

fret

gloomy depression gained possession of

as

me,

LAZARETTO

THE

uncheered

by

save

the

entirelyspent

among
known
be
yet

should

prairieover

The

with

as

OF

43

BEXAR.

hope that my life should not be


that
I
present associates, and
my
"
The Lepero."
something else than
one

which

travelled

we

in

varied

never

pect
as-

of the day.
The
same
changing hours
scathed
and
yellowish grass, the same
dreary swell, the same
scorched
cedars, the same
tains
hazy outlines of distant mounthat we
saw
yesterday, rose before us again to-day, as
knew
till at last our
minds
we
they would on the morrow,
took
the reflection of the scene,
and
we
journeyed along,
save

the

"

mark

this

how

nationalities.
with

depression
Saxon

The

dash

slight
features, the Italian

only

his

It

footsore.

silent, and

weary,

exhibited
became

of

curious

was

itself
silent

enough

different

upon

and

thoughtful,

than

ordinary care
upon
and
the
irritable,
peevish
grew
neglectful,while the Frenchman
in the wayward
of his
excesses
more

careless and
Spaniard was
became
downright vicious
spitefulhumor.
Upon the half-breeds, two of whom
our
ever
guides, no
change was
perceptible. Too
accustomed

to the

life of

the

prairie to

were

long

feel its influence

peculiar, they plodded on, the whole faculties bent upon


the discovery of the Chihuahua
fact,
trail,from which
"

track

new

Our

was

march,

to
no

direction

become

by

wearisome

nearly due

as

one
our

west.

stories or
merry
in the extreme.

ing
excitThe

at
night and the great mist which arose
prevented all possibilityof tracing the path, which

heavy fogs
sunset

in

a
diverge
longer enlivened

narratives, had

to

of

the

often

required the greatest skill to detect, so


obliged to travel during the sultriest hours of

that
the

we

were

day,

out
with-

feet scorched
particleof shade, our
by the hot sands,
and
heads
our
constantly exposed to the risk of sunstroke.
each
difficult to obtain ; the
Water, too, became
day more
its vicinityseemed, to
signs by which our
guides discovered
to me,
at least, little short
of miraculous
; and
yet if by any
chance
a
mistake, the anger of the party rose so
they made
to mutiny that nothing short
of Halkett's
near
own
authority
a

could

restore

which

order.

Save

in

these

altercations, without

rarely a day passed over, little


trudged along either lost in vacuity or

thoughts.

was

spoken

buried

in

his

each
own

"THE

myself,

for
aided

for

certainly

and

forever;
the

become

PLACER.

dreamy

my

I could

greatly.

me

there

was

lack

no

foundation.

Sometimes

the

of immense

riches,

possessor

temperament
build

of

fancied

myself suddenly

with

which

new

barrenness

smiling

barbarism

of

centre

the

rose

to

imagination,

my

down

Then,

so

upon

the

different

from

refinement

influences

young,
those

last

strains

nightfall would
poetry.

the

who
of

of
be

the

of

their

or

education
up

accompanied

by

universal
very

mills, the
all

much,

so

ing
look-

abode

selves
diffusing them-

with

How
with

would

habits

pursuits

of

ments,
daily requireecho

murmuring
the

and

tastes

fathers.

the

of

wealth.

my

forests

surrounded

the

heard

themselves

silent

music,

of

grew

by degrees mingled
till at

exciting

evidences

of the West.

princely

own

my

these

I fancied

among

and

had

great refining factories, of which

I should

life in the

smelting furnaces,

the

civilized

of

aspect

here

ground

regions
colony in the very remotest
workmen,
I pictured to myself the village of my
in
the
midst
cultivation
its patches of
with
found

castles

recited

with

rivulet
verses

the
at

of

46

"

of rocks

streak"

and

trickled

now

enough

its way.
into the bed

down
handful

Hermose

force

to

sand

of

of the

have

rains

The

saying, "

extent

but

streams,

torrent, and
he

been

not

for

proceeded

clay, which

and

and

force

which

pebbles with scarcelystrength

the

along among

the

mountain

the

by

CREGAN.

attested

stones

filled

of that river when

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

tance
dis-

some

returned

presented

with

Halkett,

to

; this is last

heavy enough

earth."

vein's

the

words, they conveyed to me an immense


impression of his skill,who, in a few grains of sand taken
Few

as

were

distinguishthe depositsof

could

random,

at

one

from

year

of another.

those

it

"

look, Halkett?

"

How

does

"

Is it

heavy?"

asked

cried

one.

another.

worthless," said

Halkett, throwing the earth from


the right track, lads, for all that;
"But
him.
are
on
we
the green snake
there 's always gold where
frequents."
It is

It
the

serpent'svicinity;
I

saw

no

vow

he's

me,
"

he

as

"

tree?

soon

habit

of

the

a-sarchin'

for

the

"Choya,"

these

with

only

attacked

upon
the

Coppernose,"
the

the

the

"

the

of

leaves

the

chief

of

resumed
interest

for

mystery
is in

certain
he

the

prickly

attacks

the

always successfully,
plant invariably inflicting
"

Some

asserted

that

of
a

torpor, but
for

match

"Placer"
and

the bird

the

any
brated
cele-

was

party

versed
con-

degree of animation
long time previous. Stories of

their sway,
in

kee,
Yan-

wherever

The

armor

night, with

of the

nt)t exhibited

washings"

and

Choyero"

"

stoutlyaverred that
Coppernose in his perfect vigor.
for
The approach of the long-soughtof rum,
allowance
by an extra
had

'

far off."

never

during his season


the Choyero was

snake

tilla late hour

said

of the cedar-

bough

Choyero ;

which

snake.

the

others

they

eagerly around

serpents, and

green

strong, thorny spines

death- wounds

I looked

of

ignorance.

my

explained in this wise:


enveloping himself in the

largestof

knew

Halkett

of one._

laughed heartilyat

called

cactus

how

me

although

found, the Coppernose is

he 's
was

for

to

you see that bird there upon


"
That 's the '
said Halkett.

Do

"

trace

time

the

at

mystery

was

which,

"

strange, wild

however

tives,
narra-

striking at the

time, lay

in the

the

themselves
of

incident

of those

manner

and

gambling,

and

them,

related

who

all turned

nearly

They

actors.

47

PLACER."

"THE

some

upon
of

strong illustrations

were

were

how

completely the love of gain can co-exist with a temperament


render a man
and
can
reckless, while both
utterlywasteful
totallyindifferent to every feelingof friendship. There was
had been
mention, by chance, of a certain Narvasque, who
of

of the
many
is dead," cried one.

comrade

the
"

He

"

Caramba

told

he

me

"You

rely

it ; he died

had

had

such

"

again ;

fortune

splinteringof

We

Crestones
we

of
soon

may

work,

sieve

nor

any

lightdigging

flint-rock,but

on

for

"

first,

the

at

and

filthywash

steel barreta

they

in this wise.

only hope

as

the

and

luck

of

run

of your

none

dead," said

the Sacramento,

months'

scarcelytrue

fair this fall."

it he's

on

is

that

"

another,
Austin

on

two

Bacuachez,
see

cried
at the

was

may

know

"

party.

of the real
along the stream, and turning up such masses
heart
make
leap to look at,
shining metal as would
your
lumps of thirty, thirty-five, ay, forty pounds."
said an old fellow, with a long
There, there, Harispe !
if we
what's
to swallow
a-comin',
are
pipe of sugar-cane,
"

"

"

"

"

"

don't

choke

"What

just now."

us

does

old

an

trapper know

Harispe, contemptuously. "'Tis


nestin' you
Smash
ought to be.
of
the breast
goold, except on
his

silenced
We

"

what

were

is metal?

use

't ; and

sleep on
had

ourselves.
and

button
we

all
of

off

was

the

coat

n't much

that

fellows

try

vittal

savin'

we

finished

stayed

up

for
of

it,nor

got

much

all

Narvasque.

an

night
He

and

was

but

to

cut

even
as

we
we

we

two

dred
hun-

goold

day's grub, so
log-hut outside

of

ounce

as

no,

"

best

as

But

drink

plan neither,for

half

saw

Aranchez.

I used

kind

ourselves

in that

it cost

had

twenty

morning

every

to

it,nor

there

its value

ever

"

reached

we

birds'-

gooldfinch." Having

a
:

and

ribs ! if he

my

cost

diggin's?" said

the

bee-huntin'

eat

up

ourselves

day long, and


Then

can't

Everything

my
to make

had

it !

One

twenty times

village,and
war

adversary, he resumed
all rich by the time

of

that
the

could.

There

drank

brandy

goold every bottle


played brag, and it

a-bettingwith

Shem

48

CONFESSIONS

OF

CON

CREGAN.

in for a run
of luck,
Avery, and Shem, who felt he was
layed it on a bit heavy like ; and the end o' it was, he won
all Narvasque's two
months'
diggin's, all to a twenty-eight
"
that
he would
n't bet for anybody,
ouncer
let
nor
no,
'

"

one

any

where

see

lump, and
Narvasque
gets and

said,
'

me.'

the

hanging

near

He

the

piece

followed

deadly
us,

every
only time
"

And

"

He

the snake?"

got clear

in vain.

him

must

The

"

There

lived, or
old

to

has

another.
emerald
's more

come

trapper;

bad

no

man

out

when

he

ing
makvasque
Nar-

he

as

was

his cries
him

bitten

that

he

had

expired."

breath.

for four

much

as

concealed

the spot, when

death

near

chase

gave
with

cash

spare

after

days

about

now."

ere

ripped

him

There

's

"

afore

open
scarce

this, depend

snake

spliceof gold in him."


gold lies hidden by fellows

of

size

any

or

back
"and

so

several, in

fellow

ensued,
found
hut, we

the

he

up

sheep'sheart

for when

happened,
; we

come

Injians
an

have

cried

away

But

have

on't," said
has n't

it

'

he went

deep jungle, unarmed

within

lump,

grass, and,
bolts it and away
!

meat,

must

sat

we

of

that

on

your
first,but

he had

yards from
through the long

the

combat

to tell how

him

"

into

as

of which

part of the body, and

on

it at

n't three

was

heart

bright,'said he,

in the centre

rock,

spring at

aroused

Honor

his

against

did n't take

hut.

darts

had

fiftyounces
'

great spotted snake

there

Shem

all gave
their words, and
into the wood, where
he had

his treasure.

it.

They

distance

short

hid

I '11 go
the other

and

leaves

follows

he
'

claim

to

that's

it, than

the

kind

that have

ye know
of ' Placer

of," said
'

I'd

the

like to

chance
"

had

and
smelted."
already washed
upon,
They talk of martyrs ! said a tall,sallow

never

"

been

educated

Injians,ay, even
for their gold as
fellow

in

said, had

priest:

let

Spaniard, who

tell you
that those
endured
much
torture
as
me

the negroes,
have
did zealot for his faith.
ever

father's time
my
concealed
immense

emeralds,
gems,
refused
all offers
the

for

"

diamonds,
from

was

Guajuaqualla, who, it was


treasures, not only of gold, but
and
rubies : well, he not
only

up

at

the Gobernador

booty, but he suffered


smelting nippers, rather

There

his
than

toes

make

of
to

be
a

the mines
taken

off

confession.

to share

by

tin-

Thou

they
a

tried him

with

what

piece of gold heated

of

back

the

but

the

miners

almost

red,

it

49

PLACER."

"THE

call

nest-egg,'that is,
into the

inserted

and

all to

was

'

no

he

use,

spine
spoke a

never

word."
"I

heard

of

him;

that

was

nigger

Crick," cried

called

another.
As

for

which

me,

brought

heard

no

the

up

The

more.

of

memory

sound

night

my

of

opened
The

vision

of

future

wealth

coupled with

name,

the

himself.

knew

that

deceits

all

of

and

him,

If

mistrust

eternallyin practice among

in order

to return

them

to

like artifices suggest


at work

chance

word

therefore
hidden

accidental

or

; but

gold

from

were

or

attribute

me.

to

I
picion
sus-

and

constant
"

Placers,"
many
is
which

confidence

for every

intentions

I retained

cealments
con-

and

these

my

curiosity
and

negro

It mattered

me.

back.

frauds

of rich
"

hundred

given

forward, the

hour

before

ever

of

want

me

The

alone,

expression.

that

much

so

them, the

later and

motives

to trace

held

desertion

universal

somehow

to ask

Gambusinos.

the

as

are

of treasure, the affected

ever

I burned

living,none

men

which

greatness before

prudent forbearance

strange swelling

place,Guajuaqualla, left no
talkingof no other than
they were

that

questions about

and

the

doubt

upon
my mind
Black
Boatswain

and

name,

Anticosti

at

all its terrors, filled


my heart, besides, with a
of hope, vague
and ill-defined,it is true, but

that

his

where

not

companionship, or how engaged. One figure


occupied the foreground of every picture. If my waking
him at Anticosti,
thoughts represented him exactly as I saw
sleepingfancies filled up a whole history of his life. I
my
was,

in what

pictured him

slave in the

heavily ironed
with

and

bent-down

the decks.

head

while

bleeding,and
and

tottered

his

of the liana.
VOL.

II.

"

Then

came

slaver,

behind
in

him

woods,
and

with
stood

pale,
deadly conflict,till,

laid them

his wounds

dead
with

at

his feet,

red gum
I
indistinct interval ; and when

stanch
an

the sugar
and
sorrows,

he fled to the

as

mangled, the slave


to

the

land,

and

sufferings,his

they struggled

onward

board

on

slave-market

to the

him

his vengeance.
him
I tracked
the deep-mouthed
bloodhounds
breathless

him

saw

of his native

crippled limbs, crouching between

and

witnessed

Barracoons"

chained.

I followed

plantation.

"

the

50

CONFESSIONS

next, itwas

him

saw

'"

thf

Nero,"

Ki""

as

in the dark

gold-washer

incidents

crime

of

and

hellish vengeance,
would
imagination,amidst which one pictureever
the negro

as

him

saw

misery,of

cross

observed.

not

was

at

That

had

he

my
that
too,

would

observation

with

mind

of

of

discoveryof gold

back

come

reality.
My preoccupation

shrewd

side to

hand,
that

see

in the act of

bartered

his very
in the same

blood,

tude
attiplainly enough ; and
fancy would depict him so powerfully,so truthfully,
I awoke, I had
but to close my
when
eyes again,

the vision

and

his

with

himself

gesture indicated

the

of

fancied

he

for which

concealing the gold

sleeping

my
"

earth, and while he patted the ground


throwing a stealthy,terrified glance on every
he

tured
tor-

recurred, it was
Auticosti, crouching beast-like

the

on

fiesh showing

mangled

agoniesand

of

of

stream

pasted*

sufferingshe had

incoherent

Broken,

CBEGAN.

CON

distorted limbs and

bis

through what

OF

could

companions,

in the sands

thought into
every
At first it was
mere

another
dust

of
and

have

not

had

escaped

the

not

adjunct
the

unexpected

the river

turned
effectually
interestingchannel.

more

detected

was

color and

every

but, later

small

on,

picked up, which


misshapen pieces of dusky yellow were
valuable
showed
the gold in its most
form, in combination
with

rock.

quartz

Up

to

the moment

indifference.

of

few

that

only

gave
number

their

feet, the greater


river's bank, and gazing

negligence.
humble

last Hermose
thickness

held
of

caught their
they sprung
What
the

silence

three

up

aloft

pencil.

No

of

that

dark

came

"'

with

and

little spicula of
sooner

over

had
at

the

tuous
contemp-

their

even

laughter ; till at
about

gold

the

the

to wet

upon

they experienced,
sneers

and

the

brilliant lustre

sight of

the

stag,

into the stream.


the

scene

river, through whose

Instead
dull

of

current

lence
figureswaded
noiselessly,while in lazy indotheir companions lay smoking or sleeping near,
now,
in an
With
animated.
instant, the whole
picture became
plashing water and wild shouts of various import, the deep
or

four

change

the trouble

washers

eyes, than, like hounds


to their feet and
dashed

sudden

lassitude

was

sittinglazilydown

with

met

were

themselves

the

on

failures

The

successes,

discovery,all

"THE

glen resounded,
while

river ; and

dust,
minutes

cries

instant

every

bed

the

of

Don't

"

come

see?
' c

he

nearly the

size

of

eat

to

can

Halkett's
to

and

when

small

showed

of

have

of

council

was
on

the

chanced,

Brazo," others

"

into which

unusual
have

rain.
become

penetrated deep

always a

mountain

The
an

emerging halfpiece of metal,


this,one

as

the

to

it

the call

swered.
long unanswarthy figureswere

from

were,

the

the

stream,
in attitudes

it was
was

which
we
locality
upon
an
unexplored branch
of those
one
wayward

streams

one,

whole

leader.

the

controversy
angry,

as,

shall find

we

throwing themselves

that

that

was

they

as

by saying, "

had

directed

are
was

not

It matters

in

warm,

and

Halkett

put

little how

seasons

might
an

the

the Mexican
its latitude ; you know
there's gold.' That
native land where

called,or what

'It's

great

antelope,"

pure
such fruit

and

tanned

ensued

averring

some

the

but

Of

"

; nor

around

ease

discussion

to all altercation

be

myself.

heard, summoning

soon

the bank

instant

an

careless

short

soon

had

"

emerging, all dripping as


ascending the banks, and then
of

aloft

apple.

seen

courses

knot

his

to

seeing some

at not

floods

the

indigestion!

whistle

In

the

from

up

I found

which

It is the fossil bone

the water, he held

from

of

ness
fickle-

of

another, till

and

around

suffocated

had

at

that

over

changing

"

forth

brought

suddenly, one
something which

when,
another

to

broke

to

once

enough to unbury that, there 's little doubt


gold enough."
"
cried a Mexican,
Who
says enough?

party

many

spair,
hope and dewealth, with gloomy thoughts

of sudden

stream

you

Hermose

never

for

yellow gold.

of

said

at

him, among
is it?" said I, disappointed

What

"

and

earth

gaze

disappointment

or

seemed

"

mass

of

all the
of men
group
the wayward vacillations

bright visions
disappointment,

neighbor, then
gathered close
"

joy

There

childhood,

of

of

time-worn

hardened,

the

explore it

to

together.
what

Then

of

with

stream

water

bring up mingled masses


they bent with earnest

which

over

the

beneath

the

and

their hands,

with

dived

others

of

bed

the

into the

descended

thirtymen

examined

some

"barretas,"

the

of

upwards

as

53

PLACER."

end

place
adage,
there

52
is

CONFESSIONS

here, I have

some

the

for

us

repay
that

doubt

no

channel

and

CKEGAN.

; that

halt, is another

the river into

turn

we

CON

OF

is

much

as

question.

another

and

there

My

leave

course,

will

as

advice

is,

the present

then

dry
explore it thoroughly."
open,
"Well
Gamspoken and true," said an old white-headed
That
busino.
is the plan in the Far West
they are
; and
the only fellows who
about
thenwork."
go right
The
proposal was canvassed
ably on all sides,and adopted
with scarcelyanything like opposition ; and then partieswere
"
told off," to carry into execution
different portions of the
' '

labor.

The

section

explorers,who

or

and

the

for

Hermose
"

as

the

suitable

took

Lepero

' '

I fell

to track

were

search

operations.
named

into which

the

that of

was

of

course

the stream

at which

spot
command

to

this

of

the scouts,
wards,
up-

commence

party, and

his lieutenant.

"sierra"

The

through which our path lay was


singularly
wild and
The
thrown
about
in every
picturesque.
rocks,
fantastic
shape, were
actuallycovered with the tendrils of
the liana, whose
great blue flowers hung in luxuriant clusters
from
Wild figand almond
trees loaded
every cliff and crag.
with
at

fruit,red guavas
found

length we

limes,

and

production of

spontaneous

freedom

and

cactus

choicest
broke

and

of
off to

The

farther

all the

wildness.

the tract

The

we

went, the

the dull
and

monotony

for
of

have

been

the

fruitful

their wildest

abundance,
our

grapes, in
surrounded
us,

feet.

should

weeks, long-wearied and


a

riant
luxu-

and

Oranges, peaches, and

even

prairietraveller

all

growing in
yellow-flowering

would

more

littered the very way beneath


full enchantment
of such a scene,
one

and

and

tract

conservatory in other lands, we here


fan away
the mosquitoes and the galli-

seem.

profusion of

of

centre

gardens,

our

advanced, till

we

branches

did

as

very

golden lobelia, that

the

treasures

nippers.

us

in the

ourselves

rich in every

met

To

have

feel the
been

heart-sore

with

journey, with fevered tongue


eyeballs red from the glaring sun,

tiresome

scorching feet, with

lustre.
the unshaded
Then,
temples throbbing from
mations
transforof those wondrous
like one
indeed, the change was
and

of

fairytale, rather

than

mere

actual

life.

In the

ourselves
down
threw
delight we
among
ourselves with blossoms
covered
the flowering shrubs, and

transports

of

our

54

OF

CONFESSIONS

occasional

au

or

with

mountain,

as

we

could

There
valuable

of.

be

rude

oath

solemn

chanced

given

were

to

huts,

erect

skill stood

our

Our

in need

little

colony demanded
gold-seekingwas

the

most

upon

also established,
profits was
from
each, to be true and faithful

things.

of

many

of

exacted

the

near

gold,

pure

had

testingas

of service ; for, while

kinds

found, lying

the

weight.

we

orders

towards

course

of

in

that

for

furnaces

in all

comrades

the

was

ore

ounces

now

strict scale

up

doubt

no

; and

Placer

such

followed

metal, heavily alloyed

presentingmasses

exceeding twenty

them

the

of richest

vein

too, and

surface

and

but

copper;

"

C REGAN.

of

spicula

"

CON

and

to his

various

grand

our

in order to subsist the party, that a


necessary,
should be formed, who
hunters
should
of trappers and

object,it was
corps
follow

prairies.
Many declined

serving

absent

labor

of

be his

excitement

the

to

of

Some

companion.
and

us,

we

to go,

at

the

over

monotonous

I offered

and

named

once

the

than

of the

half-dozen

were

hog

pecting
expedition,doubtless suswhich
might be allotted to
a
heavy poundage. Heringly
willspiritinclined more

chase

the

washer, volunteered

follow

undergo
adventurous

whose

however,

mose,

to

would

man

this

on

of treasure

that the share


the

the wild

buffalo, the red-deer, and

the

youngest agreed
The

"

myself to
Hunters

to

the

Expedition.
The
rivalrybetween

was,

served

days

were

to

their unsuccessful
If

for

treasure

in

to obtain

set of

for

good-natured

careers,

us

us

escape
bewrail the

while

; and

our

of scoffs and

share

did not

ones

party affected

one

two

interest

and

amuse

certain

the

their share

of

it

as

blank

jibes,

sarcasm.

necessityof storing up
walking gentlemen who passed the day
to

the

pleasure-ramblesabout

country,

the

other

took

to

care

returningloaded with spoilsfor a


parcel of lazy impostors that lounged away their time on the
ably.
bank
of a river.
Meanwhile, both pursuitsnourished admirtheir discontent

express

Practice
as

we

more

evidences

made

fortunate

were

and
both

had

at

train them

us

enough
to the

most

to

expert with the rifle;


secure

saddle,

some
our

of

"chasse"

and

tangs,"
the "mus-

became

pleasant. By degrees,too, little


in our
of superfluity
began to displaythemselves

profitableand

equipment

saddles,

our

trestle, with

fox-skin

black

; our

for

holsters

as

by

pistols;and

our

usually designed by the


ingenuity, if not taste :
Our
it

character, which,

have

been

was

in

left

; short

bare, for

serving

top, and

at

fox

squirrel,
exhibiting proofs of
or

dress.

We

myself

brown

"

waist

was

bowie-knife,
of

valuable

more

the

of

our

success."

"

and

Hermose

some,

"

such

cap
and

the boards

on

crowning

it,were

easy,

around

wearer,

rifle,and

of

weapons

and

belt

across

exactly conformable

the

to

botas

"

if not

wooden

the

or

knee-cap, which
vaqueras," very loose

breeches, reaching

climbing;

bear-skins,

mere

thrown

comfortable

was

tunic, fastened

deerskin

hide

costume,

own

models,

Parisian

to

black

with

ornamented

now

of

first made

at

buffalo

strip of

55

PLACER."

"THE

and

minor

pistols,giving
theatre, would

also all mounted,

were

particular, admirably

so.

heart regretted the powers


of
although I often in my own
of poor
Charry," my little mustang
strength and endurance
a
steed, with his long forelock and his bushy moustaches,
a
was
pactness
picture of comstrange peculiarityof this breed,

And

"

"

"

and
had

We

agility.
constructed

also

even

yet laugh

were

far

I think

as

it

on

for

cumbrous

too

rude

wagon

so

"

to carry

"

rude

that

can

spoils,which

our

horse-load, and when left


of prairie-wolves and
numbers

mere

prairiesattracted such
vultures
to be downright perilous. If this same
as
wagon
it
least
for
at
not
a
was
Acre,"
"Long
was
exactly
type
far
serviceable
were
although the wheels
; and
strong and
oval than circular,they did go round ; the noise they
nearer
created in so doing might have been disagreeableto a nervous
of a railway
the scream
invalid, being something between
train and the yellof a thousand
peacocks. But I believe we

on

the

liked

rather

it,

at

"

Sybarite suggested
he

axle,

the

looked

was

nature

denied

As

for the

the

use
as

on

least

ear

for

freedom

glorious in

the

the millions

of mankind

of

sense

glorious in

of

little bear's

was

the

around

whom

to

glorious sport,

to wander
we

reached

its successes,

fat

barbarian

of

luckless

some

music.

mastery
had

that when

kind

itself,it

"chasse"

in the unbounded

tract ;

least, I know

its

whither

felt that
this

we

one

alone

far-away, un

dangers,

and

rious
glo-

"

listed ;
of

all

visited

its toils !

56

There

it

Now,

affords.

was

variety of adventure
prairiethe heavy buffalo, lumbering
huge head in anger as the rifle-

lazilyalong, and tossing his


hide.
ball
pierced his dense
stag, careering free

antlered

lay

in

hissing rattlesnake

the

which

noise.

In

victim
would

grace

whose

aim

was

these

And

road

our

of

and

prey,
dwarf

the

waste.

sport

our

scrub, through

darting, affrightedat

was

the

"

"

regrets would

sometimes

if

which

from

ambition

of

miles

and

proudly

be the
peaceful mood, the antelope would
the great cock
of the wood
the wild turkey or
feathers
of him
the cap
with
his bright wavy
at longest ritle range.
true
the very
were
happiest of my
happy days,

life ; for

whole

was

the

was

more

while

miles

over

grizzly bear
jungle or among

dense

the

it

Now,

the

time

another

At

CREGAN.

besides, that endless

was,

hunting

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

arise

that

off, to wander

turned

I had

about

in

that no
career
pleasure, I bethought me
would
have
could
have
fortune
the luckiest
opened to me
of heat and
of endurance
manly powers
developed the same
In no
other pursuit
cold
and of peril in a hundred
shapes.
educated
I have
could
myself to the like life of toils and
with
face
to face
daily, as it were,
dangers, bringing me
the

of

path

mere

look

till I could

Death,
I will

not
the

across

of

picture

did

future

meeting, some
separation.
worthy of her

all

our

more

fearless

wild

life of the
sole

practise on
It
lost

was

the

of

years,

stranger
when

I ceased

and

than

"

the

was

the

as

of

recompense

"

buffalo, accustomed

subterfuge

to

deceit

and

the

whose

adventurer,

mere

old

my
the

far

all this while

enough

still,but

true, I made

bear

some

much
pride how
prairie-hunter, the

the

as

if her

with

thought

I be

but

hope of

the

to come,

passed

could

he

unwary.

strange

sight

earlier

woods,
trade

in

stock

would
the

of

follower

bright time
And

breathe

fear.

have

regrets

to

was

or

not

may

mind-drawn

ray

flit past, it

indeed

form

shudder

Maria

Donna

that

say

without

him

on

"

desire

to

be

after-reflection

greater progress
to

make

the

guide-star,

it the

I seemed

great

passion

has
toward
of

shown

me

that

my

to have

of
It

"gentleman."

object

that

that

wished-for

ambition.

it

my
was

was

goal

THE

HE

FATE

life of

"

the

monotony,
chase, which

The

unvarying

to

aspect,

some

to

OF

prairie,"with

might
who

far

very

was

those

GAMBUSINO.

have

all its

from

seeming

wearisome.

presented

the

loved

passionately

same

sport

If
one
exciting incidents.
upon
the
powerful bison
bull,
day the object of pursuit was
and
short
with his shaggy mane
straight horns, on another,
swift
it was
the
sable
antelope or the prairie fox, whose
skin
is the rarest
piece of dandyism a hunter's pelisse can
then
of
and
the wide-spread paw
brown
exhibit;
now
a
the
would
mark
bear
earth, and give us days of exciting
Indian
"trail"
red-man
some
pursuit; or, again, some
would
that we
us
were
warn
"sign"
approaching the
that
all our
hunting-grounds of a tribe, and
circumspection
Besides
needed.
these, there were
was
changes, inappreciable
to the uninitiated, but thoroughly understood
by us, in
the
landscape itself,highly interesting. It is a well-known
abounded

in

and

new

"

"

fact that

the

shepherd

every

sheep

in

where

others

would

so

did

expanse,

the

his

becomes

flock, tracing differences


but

recognize nothing

prairie, which

become

with

conversant

at

first

at last marked

by

hundred

face

of

of

expression

blank

ity
uniform-

presented
a

the

one

ing
unvary-

peculiarities,

58

how

often wondered
a

tree,

of scenic

moss-clad

every

of

found,
at

each

that rain is

pierce space

to

herd

dark-backed

and

think

that

buffaloes

of

and

all other

earth

shadows

habit

The

were

the

upon

of

watchfulness

of

the

with

Then

vicinity

the

what

interest

the

eye can
the fog-banks which

mark

or

be

must

that

where

gloriousexpanse,
alone

clouds

the

where

and

and
spiritless,

tame,

threw

life in

hunter's

such

frame

peril,inspirea

sudden

the constant

scenes,

of

deep reflectiveness is blended with a readiness


far
giftswhich circumstances
promptitude of action,
favorable
to moral
training do not always supply. The

mind
and

in which

"

in

day passed
separates
thought,
"

to

total

of

plain.

vast

against

on

undulation

and

dip

the

Indians

of

group

from

interest,till at length I learned

prospects

one,

every

unexciting, in comparison with

sky

the presence

distinguishthe gathering clouds

surface, had its own

that vast

feel how

honey is to be
pirn grass gives

where

invested, when

Every prairie"roll,"

march.

to

horizon

extent,

vast

off, and

afar

tower

indicates

shows

spiralmotion
nigh at hand.

is the

sunset

foxbell

solitude

"

faint

the

life of

compel, to
how
meaning,

its

have

blue

the

how
how

warning

house,

wastes

lichen
little insignificant

"

"

wild

can

lived the

have

must

these

stone

some

of water,

great stretchingplain,without

One

which

isolation

and

Indeed, I

intimate.

us

or

fact.

the

as

made

rials
tricklingbrook, could supply the matecult
interest ; and the explanation is almost as diffi-

shrub,

observation

close

which

with

CIIEGAN.

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

solitude, since

rendezvous

the

long
party

nightfall,necessarilycalls

at

not, indeed, the

often

very

more

for

revery of the visionary,


world, but of that active,

dreamy

forgetfulof himself and all the


will.
demands
effort and
stirringmental operation which
would
wish to make
as
we
If fanciful pictures of the future
without
displacingthe stern realities
it,intervene, they come
of a picture
than the far distances
of the present, any more
interfere with the figuresof the foreground.
Forgive, most kind reader, the prolix fondness with which
I

linger on

this theme.

Fortune

cultivation, but

of

my

gave
best

me

schooling

prairies. It was there I learned


the only real independence. It
reliance,

upon

the

"

but

scant
was

the

virtue

was

there

tunity
opporobtained
of
I

self-

taught

THE

to endure

myself

OF

FATE

disappointment, and

without

reverses

59

GAMBUSINO.

I came
there
repining. It was
win an
would
upward way in life must
self -imagined superiority,but boldly

hardships without
that he who
some
upon
lists with

capacity. They

in my

sleep, which
It would

too

savor

and

"

much

of

bull

"

for him

his

of

; but

true

and

of rest

want

their value.

without

not

were
"

the

enter

writes

who

his

to

of

details,

after-life

cold, and

and

build

not

punctions
apologize for egotism ; still,I do feel comabout
the length of these personal
conscience

memoirs

own

hunger

know

to

test

acquirements, it is

inferior

were

to bear

also

I learned

competitorship the

make

and

others,

bear

to

now

story.
hunting pastime

my

the

prairies,
successful
the "expedition" was
beyond all expectation.
the bed of the river laid bare, than gold was
No sooner
was
in quantities,and
the "washers," despising the
discovered
of "sifting," betook
themselves
to the pick
slower process
While

and

pursued

we

the

our

It

barreta," like their comrades.

"

over

was

of

season

humble
means
permitted, of
rejoicing,and, so far as our
in gold, our
daily food was
festivity
; for though abounding
buffalo and
by bread or anything
tough doe," unseasoned
that could prove
its substitute.
If the days were
passed in
successful
tives
labor, the evenings were
prolonged with narraof the late discoveries, and gorgeous
imaginings of the
future
fancied
the
each
as
bright vista should be. Some
for a life of unbounded
and
were
excess
dissipation, the
rance
as
"amende,"
it,for all their toil and enduthey deemed
of splendor and
anticipateda career
display
; others
"

"

in the

Old

World.

cafes

and

restaurants,
few

with
him
of

avow

and

of

at

it the

of

alone

in the

life he

its

and

ures.
pleas-

tions
expedi-

fresh

on

Halkett

success.

Paris

its thousand

setting forth

upon

remainder

his

least

Most

were

act

courageous

feeling among
humility! how

of the Gambusino
care.

of

bethought

far-away valley
to render

longed

independent.

such

laughed

and

aged mother,

an

Llanberris, whose

easy and
Nor was

its theatres

of

means

raved

Frenchman

speculated

better

of home

The

outcasts

such

they

Few
from

of

his

daring

associates.
scoffed

of them
their

had

at

the

known

birth, and

How

life to

they

filial reverence
a

parent's

started

in

60

CONFESSIONS

life with
often

selfish indifference

that

the passport to

affection

and

the back

of him

for

esteem

fancied

that his

the

which
this

force

above

others

It

detracted

deemed

in

is

so

the

weight upon
"

plate of Fortune
from

and

that

but

moment.

exertion

greater

was

nobler

than

that
impulse
and I thought I could
trace to
for which
he was
conspicuous

ness,"
evident, too, that this "weakit,had sapped nothing of his courage,

rest.

they

additional

increased

untiringenergy

all the
as

nor

the

the

for

enters

which

all others

this,and' perceived how

saw

much

so

Halkett

CREGAN.

to

capacity for labor


of a higher and
a

animated
source

are

who

"

success.

sympathy

yet my
from

CON

OF

was

his resolute

aught from

daring,

"

ever

most,
fore-

he was,
wherever
perilwas to be confronted.
I ruminated
this,to me,
long and frequentlyover
as

singular
trait of character,
whole
the prairies
clays as I rambled
alone
in search
of game
hours of the night I
; the tedious
would
lie awake
speculating upon it, and wondering if it
that elevated
to high deeds
were
men
impulses of this nature
and generous
to realize my
actions, and
conception in one
a
word
made
them
gentlemen."
To be sure, in all the accessory
advantages of such, Halkett
"

"

"

lamentablydeficient,and

most

was

in vain

to endeavor

to conform

of

politeworld

the

and

him

yet,

it would
to any

have
one

of

been

labor

the usages
it not
be

thought, might
man
might have

within
possible that this rude, unlettered
of his own
him, in the recesses
heart, all those finer instincts,
all those

refinements

of

that make
high feeling and honor
like a lump of pure
virgingold encased
up a gentleman,
in a mass
of pudding-stone. The
study of this problem took
I could
intense
hold upon
an
me
recognize in
; for while
myself a considerable power for imitating all the observations
of the
well-bred
world, I grieved to see that these graces
"

were

garments,

mere

actions

than

will affect

the

the

which

color

of

stages of

no

more

his

coat

an

ague

influenced

man's

real

or

the

shape of his hat

or

the

paroxysms

of

fever.
To

become

notions

of

J knew

that

that

"gentleman," according to my very


the ruling principleof my
character,was

rank,

requisite;but these

wealth,

and

I also fancied

station

were

all

crude
life.

indispensably

might be easilycounterfeited,

62

CONFESSIONS

tribe ; but

later

on

OF

ventured

we

CREGAN.

CON

farther

their

within

frontier,

penetrated a long and winding


ravine which
expanded into a small plain, in the midst of
beheld
their village.
we
which, to our amazement,
in every way
It was
The
scene
was
a strikingone.
a few
after
minutes
sunset, and while yet the
yellow glory" of
the hour
bathed
the earth, that we
the cane
saw
wigwams of
the "Camanches"
as
they stood at either side of a little
river that, with many
meandered
a curve,
through the plain.
and

occasion

one

upon

we

4i

Some
children

sporting

were

shallow

seated

were

squaws

for

the

on

in

the

and

there,

number

which

stream,

Here

swimming.

banks, and

of

appeared
the door

at

too

of the

was
sittingsmoking. Some mustangs,
wigwams, an old man
picketed in a circle,and a few
seemingly fresh caught, were
amusing themselves, tormenting the animals into
boys were
bounds
and curvets, the laughter the sport excited
dible
being au-

where

all

were

half
for

gazed
of

on

yet my
that

the

expedition.

either

were

and

evident

some

the

the

in

scene

that moment

at

us

on

homelike

and

of space, and
infancy had been "

eyes filled up,


was

full of home

world

myself,

It

"

so

and

Perhaps each

hour, the

of tranquil security
picture,the semblance
everything, the very childish gambols,

on

images

halted

we

of the

the

of

placid beauty
impressed

influence

soft

The

stood.

we

had
was

of

in all the

as

the

tion
imagina-

child !
and

As

yet my

I looked.
tribe

figures that

old, the very

very

fairydream,"

warriors
few

in

again

once

no

that

speechless emotion.
traversed

lipquivered,

The

memories

young,

of that

absent

were

moved

cr

about

the

squaws,
fashionable

gossiping,
enjoyment
in
of
the gilded boudoirs
of
the
West
as
regions
Paris, sat enjoying the cool luxury of the twilight.
ing,
and
Our party consisted
of only four
myself ; and standcealed
we
did, in a grove of nut-trees, were
as
perfectlyconwho,

in the

wild

view

from
our
scene

as

enjoyment

of

which

we

on

Seiihor

Spaniard
yonder !
defence.

no

the

danger then

prospect;

interfered

gazed calmly

we

on

with
the

looked

whispered

Conde,"

from

the

Their

young

Caramba!

of

sense

Basque,
men

"

are

it would

one

what

of my
a

absent
be

rare

swarthy
might make

party,

foray we
; they could
sport."

make

no

THE

"Conde

carry

them

There

is

with

cried

worth

are

; let us

cent

had
worth

yonder

mustangs

see

who

Mexicau,

63

GAMBUSINO.

OF

have

once

been

five

hundred

dash

forward

off."

gold in that village,"muttered


moustache

white

' '

dollars, if they
"

"

mio!

horse-dealer,
and

FATE

"I

old

an

Ranchero,

sifting-sieves
drying beside

see

the stream."
And

who,
and

hope. He was a
you, Claude," said I,

And

matter

I leave

what

"

all in the hands

I turned

the

and

only

that

to have
"Is

"

"

feel repugnance
inured us?

it to

be,

or

not?

"

to the

"We

when

we

are

Are

camp.

assume

to

we

Since

thoughts on

this

captain,"said he, saluting


be a pillage,
I claim
the
rock
yonder, with a yellow

with

conversant

in somewhat

that

your

is it that, in certain

of

double

daily habit

the

examined

moods
a

what

growled

tightened his girths and


stood

are

The robber-spirit
disappointment.
evoked, and I grew sick at heart to

I had

one

How

are

we

in utter

away

of it.

vices

sharing my thoughts,
overflowing with softest

of my
if there

militaryfashion; "but
that
is sittingon
the
woman
girdle round her, as mine."

think

associates

"

in

was

the

are

pronounced, and to him


dark-eyed, sharp-featured Breton.

in

turned

"

hearts,

these

were

fancied, were
One, indeed, had not

whose

emotions.

"

myself,

to

I dreamed

back,

moment

thought

so,

mind, the

coarseness,

had

seemed

Spaniard, who, having

the

lock

of his

rifle,
now

patientanxiety.
have

to

these
Let

we

attack
the
us

become
and

pillagehelpless women

lessons
have

banditti,"said I, insultingly,

no

Halkett
more

has
of

such

taught

and
us

dren
chilBack

counsels."

return
we
nothing but scoffs and jibes when
"
the Spaniard.
It is seldom
such
empty-handed," muttered
an
opportunity offers of a heavy booty."
"
Right-about," said I, imperiously,not caring to risk my
ascendency by debating the question further.
They obeyed
without
word ; but
to
it was
a
that
the spiritof
see
easy
but sleeping. For
miles
of the way
some
mutiny was
a
dreary silence pervaded the party. I tried all in my power
to bring back
old good understanding, and
the
our
erase

meet

64

CONFESSIONS

of Hie

memory

held

vasque

vexed

w:is

sad,

I rode

to

any

along

nor

without

success

their

head,

the

fact

Nar-

others.
of

the

that

we

amount

the

was

friend

my

with

the

degree

even

side

to

warranting;

without

returning

seemed

irritated

far from

CUP:gan.

altercation; but

and

aloof,
and

was

and

late

CON

of

its influence.

dent
inciwere

Moody

making any further


their confidence, when
effort to renew
suddenly a spotted
started from
the shelter of a prairieroll,and took
his
buck
the plain. To
across
unsling my rifle and fire at him
way
the work
of half a minute.
was
My shot missed ; and I
heard,

or

behind
to

thought I heard,
Without

me.

buck

The

went.

soon

saw

after

about.

that
hot

the

was

I rode

not

of

laughter
contemptuous
head, I spurred my horse

my

proceeded

reload

to

rifle as
I
my
start" of me;

long
had both speed and
I
endurance,
would
unrewarding; and,
prove

mustang
chase

pursuit of

Where

seen.

and

had, however,

although my

and

burst

turning

sharp gallop,

at

half

got

"

mile, I pulled

and

up

my party ? Not a trace of them


and
little slope of the prairie,

wheeled
was

then,

up a
off, I could

be

to
at

descry their figures as with furious


in the direction
of
the
hastening back
speed they were
of the
Camanche
the bitterness
village. I cannot
express
over
me.
feeling that came
of outraged humanity which
It was
no
longer the sense
Selfishness
heart.
filled my
usurped the ground altogether,
had
and
of a leader whose
orders
it was
the injured honor
been
the affront
to my
authoritywounded
despised. It was
to myself their triumphant
I fancied
so
me
deeply. Then
laden with the spoilsof victory,and full
to the camp,
return
of heroic stories of their own
deeds ; while I, the captain of
the band, should have
rative
nothing to contribute but a lame narof misplaced compassion, which
some
might call by
for weak
Alas
even
a harsher
name.
principle! I wished
There
times over.
was
myself back at their head a hundred
feel myself
or
no
two, I did not
atrocitythat, for a minute
were
capable of; I really believe that if any other course
great way

open
camp.
now

"

now

to

me,

I had

Crest-fallen

never

and

sad

my
indeed

cursing the insubordinate

inveighing against my

own

toward

steps back

turned

was

rabble

as

I rode

that

sillyefforts

forward,

deserted
to

the

change

me

the

all to

spiritI attributed

In

with

and

fair

life such

of

needful

fine-spun canvas
should

I lived

the

in fine weather

squalls

and

storms

it

Is

this to

discover

to

or

companionship?
these
"gentlemen"

altogetherunsuited.

was

that

say

there?

such

that

for

that

wind, but

of

"the

being

character

to

fancied

of

only available
studding-sails,

like

were

him

bind

discontent, too,

my

traits

could

such

had

bitterness

my

ambition

foolish

business

gentleman." What
what
possible link

In

natures.

my

65

GAMBUSINO.

such

of

instincts

ferocious

OF

FATE

THE

be

an

error

I was
the camp
obliged to ride fast,
ere
nightfall,
"half-breed"
did more
to rally
and the quick stride of my
spiritsthan all my philosophizings.
my
the prairie,
of sunset
The slight breeze
was
blowing over

reach

To

when

in

came

sheltered

the

the

to

camp

the

of

sight

south' ard."

"

that

somehow,

The
spot.
character, and

it that

which

skirting of nut-wood

return

instincts

like home,

was

it each

to

one's

It

evening had

invariablyat
work
substitutes for all the
to make
prestiges that tell of
I experienced the feelingstronglynow,
family and friends.
and
I entered
the wood
as
tient
spurred my nag onward, impaAs
to catch
I issued from
a
glimpse at the watch-fires.
given

are

"

"

the copse,

and

the

used

camp
friends.

my
I

full

it,

removed

spreading
all

filled my

surging
and

huts

our

ears,

resembled

the

hollow,

rocky
to

now

equally frightened
but

stood
VOL.

with
II.

"

his
5

of

my
the

on

the

reason,

the fact, in which,

Already

built, and

had

of

continue?

crashingof

suspense

ascertain

were

seemed

or

to

there, and
tableland,

some

nothing that spoke


not
a
figure moved

forward

of

"

within

louder,

My

why

surface

where

already blending. Perhaps they


higher up the stream ; perhaps

been

But

"

little table-land

the

explanation

own

were

had

saw

fires ;

no

its

of

fears

Camanches

where

were

somewhat

perhaps

pressed eagerly

mind
own

towards

up

stand,

to

There

spot.

looked

ears

do

battle

and
now

was
a

stood

so, and

the

nearing the
deep, booming

spot

as

like

mark

sounds

my
to

move

sea

fuller

of
splintering

myself, refused

noise

the

; it grew

risen to torture, and

flattened

fought;
the

I could

and

the

upon

I listened

cave.

been

sound,

cavernous

timber

had

had

that
rocks.
tang,
mus-

poor
a

step,

back, fore-legsextended,

06

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

in

protruded nostril, smiling,

and

CUKHAN.

of

paroxysm

very

fright.
I

fashion, advanced

Mexican

brought

of

heart, my

through my
with
a

in whose

side, and
In

swollen

stream,
had

dry

the whole

instant

an

in

were

might

be

in
built of
down

more

retire.

and

and

all its force,


of

ill-

the

along

grew

then

the

mountains,

trace

every
that
trees

the
and

swept away,

with

reeled

seemed

inundation
than

it

since

only

shook

that
at their

continued

to increase

"yellowest"
which

was

I inferred
short

was

hour

space
when

that

at each

the

before

me

despair of my

torrent

my

instant, and

compelled
to

me

the

coming destiny.

own

waves

first led

ages of
earth beside

had

arrival ;

poor

burst
and

to

as

its
the

gold discovered
during
the day was
washed, before being deposited in the smeltingovertaken
house, I conjectured that my
companions were
at that moment
had
by the descending flood, and that none
escaped destruction.
the sad event
However
took place, I never
of
saw
any
them
after ; and although I tracked
the stream
for miles, and
cover
spent the entire of two days in search of them, I did not distrace of the luckless expedition. So changed had
one
such a terrible alteration had the scene
everything become
sunset

the

shock

to tremble

the

once

This

the

huge size attested

whose

Trees

the rest.

comrades,
barrier

with

me

waving their great branches above the flood,


disappearing forever, like gigantic figures struggling
of drowning.
The
rude
the agony
smelting-house,
and masses
of rock, had been
carried
heavy stones

them, and
The

undermined,

first

followed.

been

seen

with

growth

me,

mountain

itself before

descending

banks

then

but

me;

the

falling in the distant

fated

and

shot

dread

there, deep below

revealed

truth

away

at

perceived

it struck

up, on
labors had

our

village,mines,
The
"Expedition."
very

carried

had

now

damming

the barrier, and,

overborne

made

step I

horrid

as

i, and

all

bed

the rain

by

reeled

forwai

succeeded

had

we

fore-leg,in

foam, rolled the river along the channel

of

boilingocean

which

sounds, which

senses

I sprang

effort

an

Each

fast-rollingriver.

his

to

foot.

on

the

to

nearer

me

those

were

in

and, fastening his head

dismounted,

all the

"

undergone

"

that whenever

I awoke

from

sleep, short

and

THE

FATE

OF

feverish
thoughts would
my
I could
believe that this was
difficulty
broken

swollen

that

dry, gravellybed

the

that
lived and

flourished

had
traveller

would

joys

their

and

marks,

and

his old

in my

mother, his plans

realized

to

be

dashed

where

for
a

forever!

her

yet, if we
learn,perhaps, how thoughts
kind
of some
sister,of some
than

father

"

; and

had

had

privation,and how,
which
then
days were

in

"

brother

spirited them
all the

future

and

on

to

of

wanderer

unhonored

had

mother,

been

of

more

daring

of

of

might

we

dear

terrible conflict

brance
remem-

happiness

them,

deeds

was

heartless

some

who

lation
deso-

exists, and

the

of

once

before, and

year

trace

no

panionship;
com-

sad

his

many
sunk
into

record

neath
be-

weariest

the

How

of home

and

and

long

in far-away lands, and


of whom
graves
who
classed
the worthless
are
among
their families

ruin

"

outcast, doubtless, like him, have

and

hopes

thoughts,

comfort, formed, doubtless, many

only

where

and

been

; that

pleasant

sorrow-struck

of the scene.
feature
every
Poor Halkett
was
uppermost

of

in

passions and

little space

linger, so

not

"Camp;"

alligatorstirred

youug
sit and
chat

to

with

was

rolled, had

the

now

in that

set

now

the

joyous parties labored

used

human

it, it

once

torrent

angry

where

slime, we

muddy

and

cedars, where

those
the

make

as

where

that

67

GAMBUSINO.

danger

and
in

bright hope, of returning


home
at last,glittered like a light-ship
and
on
a lonely sea,
when
shed a radiance
all around
dark and dreary.
was
third day broke, and still found
The
me
lingering beside
the fatal torrent, not
only without meeting with any of my
former
to the

comrades, but

spent,

even

of

one

that

party who

had

returned

Indian

In humble
back.
tion
imitavillagenot one came
of prairiehabit, I erected a little cross
the spot, and
on
with
Halkett's
This
name.
penknife inscribed
my
poor
wood
done, I led my horse slowly away through the tangled undertill I reached
the open
plain,then I struck out in a
gallop, and rode in the direction where the sun was
setting.

The
of

mere

character

detail of
the

personal adventures, in which

the traits

nature
ever-varying aspects of human
find no
The
wearisome.
most
place, must
always prove
"
hair-breadth
'scapes" require for their interest the play of
passions and emotions ; and in this wise the perilsof the
or

68

CONFESSIONS

amid

lonelytraveller

I will
has

of

in

death

little villageof

which

of

clothing reduced
equipment save
entertainers

or,

necessary

was

with

inoffensive

police took
there

Had

to

life,

the

its prey,

for

me

in

and

reaching

Well," which

"

found

the

occupies

Rocky Mountains,

at

the

asleep,
nothing remaining of all
little canvas
a
pouch of

very rags,
rifle and

my

miners, whose

me

extreme

poverty

and

which

in exile.

lives

whose

to

to remain

could

charge

promotion

his robberies

army.
it was

He

scheme
could

was

asserted

iniquityin
be
not

of

conduct"

the

which

was

and

hatched,

kind

of

extortions

that
he

of

the

Anna's
a

in

been

even

there

was

the

not

called

to

fund

spiritof

rude

was

which

the

convict

his

been
an

Salezar,

the commissariat
of

"

distinct

penalty imposed

was

parish

ruder, I had

thoroughly versed,

clew

'v

no

settlement

staff

in

never

was

any

altogether unworthy

not

discover.

"

nor

retained

was

it

Santa
"

there

as

on,"

me

me,

at

; but

"send

officer of
"

"billet

ants,
village,the inhabitpeaceable, quiet,and
very few exceptions,were
and
of the less well disposed, a rigidlysevere
effective charge.
the most
been any way
of disposing of me, I should
not

compassion, for which, had


grateful. The " Gobernador
Mexican

As

settled

all who

to

they

which

upon

been

have

suffered

been

have

for

not

domestic

of

the inhabitants

of

were

their

of

to

could

inexplicable,had "I not learned


formed
the settlement
was
exclusivelyof convicts, who
either been
pardoned during the term of their sentence,
mainder
having completed their time, preferred passing the re-

privation would
had

West

succeeded

the

or

of

gorges

some

marked

peril,I

Noria,"

La

"

in turn

every

my
ammunition.

that

Far

and

hopes

each

opening

the

outskirts

My

the

The " Choctaw,"


appallingforms.
of
spotted leopard of the jungle,the cayman

yet, preserved from

with

of

slightest incident

and

lakes, had

of

CREGAN.

of its most

some

iIh" sand

one

deserts

the

cares

jaguar, the

the

CON

joys are mingled tip.


the indulgence of any
not
longer trespass on
one
the accidents
accompanied me so far, by lingering over
prairielife,nor tell by what chances I escaped
my

human

wherein

who

the

with

interest

in

vie

OF

nor

dark

upon
of

old
and
him
the

trust, since
vice
could

nor

any

ingenuity

70

OF

CONFESSION8

whence

I was,

My
could

myself

of

account

devise,
and,

romantic;

was

ftr

mt", with

and

yet,

to

coloring or

singular

most

tion,
exaggera-

avoidance

of

discomfiture, from

utter

my

all

of

totallydevoid

"

CBEGA1T.

object of my journey,and no forth.


given in the very briefest way I

the

I came,

COH

the

the
very

down
to the last incident of
name,
my
my
he
the
characterized
statement
short
by
journey,
every
very
word
the
"a
and emphatic
lie,"desiring
secretary to record

of

announcement

the

in his

same

add," said
States

Ledger," as his own


the
he, solemnly, "that
America,

North

of

firm conviction

"

he

that

"

fellow

is

"

and

from

spy

the

probably belonged

to

exploring party into our frontier, and that he will


the smallest
offence
most
is
certainly be hanged whenever
These
most
benign words were
proved against him."
royally
I
made
ing
acknowledgments for them by takspoken, and
my
some

"

and

tattered

off my

bow, wishing him


to come,

happiness for
blessingsupon

similar

to pronounce

and, with

cap

greasy
health
and

urbane

most

half

century

others.

many

terrified at
bystanders did look, I confess, somewhat
impromptu courtesy ; but Salezar, upon whom
my rags,
my
and my
generally,produced a rather
grotesque appearance
give me
amusing effect, laughed heartily,and bade them
The
it
order, simple and intelligible
as
something to eat.
to evoke
the strangest signs of
seemed
at least to me,
was,
surpriseand astonishment, and not unreasonably ; for, as I
The

afterwards

this

fell from

which
herd

of

Lazarus

no

not

crust

expected, as they w?ere fed by


as
barely to support life. The
issued

As
a

one

no

doubt

the

recommend

Antoinette

to

as

be

to

was

parched

rations
order

from

the poor
could be

pea

scantilydoled

so

to

crumbs

feed

was

spiritwhich
starvingpeople to eat

made

same

found, however, bold

of
facility

the

nor

the

me

in the

pretty much

of

eat

table," while

rich man's

"

settlers

the

know,

to

came

enough
I

the measure,

wras

out

fore
thereMarie

brioche."

"

to

express
led away
in

silence.
A

what

to

was

get,

difficulties which
the

save

knows?

little discussion

animated

very

"
"

where

none

usual

having

to

have

Mexican
uttered

it,and

able

seemed
one

which

of

in the street

arose

who

to solve
"

Quien

in accents

give it,

to

"

by

any
sabe?

tion
explana-

"

of

to

as

or

very

Who

convin-

each

ring embarrassment,
with

old

an

himself

of

OF

FATE

THE

his way,

went

71

GAMBUSINO.

mule-driver, the only


this speech.

leavingme
had

who

one

standing
delivered

not

villagederived
had
of "La
Noria"
its name
originallybeen worked by two
supplied by
mules, who
having died off, their places were
not much
of
the
creatures
two miserable
asses
prairiebreed,
bigger than sheep, and scarcely stronger. These wretched
to their dailylabor
for years past stimulated
beasts had been
persecutionsof a fierce English bull-dog,
by the assiduous
that the well from

Now, it chanced

the

which

"

who

bark

with

Either

martyrdom.

pretty
unremitting exertions,

his

by

worn-out

lives

their

made

bite

and

very

(of which, from their hocks and hind


quarters generally,he freely partook) disagreed with him,
to his
and died, leaving the poor Mulero
sickened
the animal
the charmed
devices to drive the donkeys round
unaided
own
I believe that he did all that mere
man
circle.
was
capable
in fact, in everythingsave
of,
using his teeth he imitated
But
asses
closelythe practices of the illustrious defunct.
discovered
that the "great
though they were,
they soon
asses'

that

or

flesh

"

"

motive
a

principle
easier

far

wanting, and

was

and

congenial mode

more

themselves

betook
of

to

doing the day's

work.

Now, the Mulero


it occurred

yet, in
no

one,

why

called

be
a

however

about
the

of

of

mules, there was


very poor-looking and ragged

the

too, that

me,

last

At

proposal

to

vouched

Mijo
in

me

that

was

he

and

sweetest;

connoisseur.

and
reflection,

and

could
inadequately,

functions

even

man,

thought

replace a bull-dog. There

made

"

if asses,

that

look

not
of

not

half-starved

glance

of

man

sort, perform the

some

should

would

him

to

reason

was

me

for

all

temper

my

eyed
"

hungry,
with

the

was

he

such

form, explaining

predecessor had had his rations allowed him like a


entitled to sleepunder
at the house
cover
colonist,and was
of his former
mistress, La Seiihora Dias, " who," he added,
that my

with
a

sly wink,

Mexican

never

"

was

boggles at

palpable,I took no
be impossible, but
functions

capacity.

countrywoman."

my

notice

of

lie,no
what

proceeded to
might be expected

matter
I

at

once

inquire as
to

perform

Well
how

knowing

broad

concluded
to

in

the
my

and
to

precise
canine

72

CONFESSIONS

"

**

eight the

44

And

**

You

"

My

the

of

; then

you

afternoon,

when

cool

have

then

hour;

CREGAN.

what

for

water

his

three

say

o'clock

sleep or

can

the

shoulders;

amuse

yourself
Sale-

Coinniandante

his bath,

that

"

by

only

takes

again till night closes in."

free

you are
then?"

shrug of

daybreak,

at

is all up

water

likes to

an

beasts

the

till four
zar

CON

nothing," said be, with

mere

harness

we

OF

asked

I, impatiently.

at night."
your rounds
rounds
for?
! where, and what

have

"

1'

and then are daring


Against the prairiewolves, that now
down
into the very settlement, and carry off
enough to come
kids and lambs,
don't stop there."
ay, and sometimes
"

winked

He

with

So, then, I

terrible

at
significance

am
"

"

"

that

Ah,

from

not

am

"

was!

he

added

he, in

remark, accompanying

my
at

disparaging comparison.
He
waited
patientlyfor
still silent, he

was

said, "

Agreed," said I, with

"

most

I read

the

for whose
could

especialmisery

sight of

them.

scored

with

and

series
the

of

result

"I

"

him

I followed

to

all the details

with

me

of teeth, while

the
If

two

beasts

compassion

of

their tails

old-fashioned

were

bell-ropes,

suffering.

accustomed

to

the

name,

Mijo; "you have no


in the least,"said I ; " if a

Not

me,

of
peculiarities
was
engaged.

said

'Lupo,'"

the

"

marks

the

days

so

am

at

reply, and, perceiving that


Well, is it a bargain?
a sigh ; and
wondering if Fortune

balls,like certain

of round

ing
mean-

moved
me
into my
nature, it might have
notched
hocks
and
Their haunches
were

entered

have

whole

my

certain

also

disparaging

head, abashed

my

yet any lower depths in store for


his hut.
Mijo proceeded to acquaint
office,and

different

very

had

of my

tone

it with

ragged habiliments.
my
and
of the look at once,
hung

glance

at

the last words.

all day, but


only to bark at the asses
to bay the wolves
by night?" said I, half indignantly.
Lupo did it," responded he, with a nod.
He was
a dog, Senhor
Mijo," said I.

'

must

call

objection?"
dog in office,'
why

you

not

dog in name?"
That

the

same

shop

of

day
"The

was

conducted

Cat,"

at

the

to the

sign

"

of

Tienda

del Gato,"

which

animal

La

THE

Senhora

Dias

the

kind

It

of canteen

their

"tickets

the

Senhora,

Of

that

was,

whose
of

she

been

the

favorite
could

conceal

herself

from

another,

that

with

burned

by Santa
always

was

she

arrival

at

it
a

wore

the

circulated

stories,

about

from

one

(but

Her

the indignity

La

"

at

Noria,"

that it

to

was

the

the

what

mask,

letter

the

reason?)
since

which,

her

absurd

more

fate

vulgar;
"F,"
others, again, that it
of

seen

the

from

said

brand

forehead

Anna,

forgery.

her

her

Some

had

village,none

hundred

placed

order
express
black
velvet

for

rumor

Santa

of

release

to

the

iron in her

Anna's

cured
pro-

exchange

popular

prying curiosity of

hide

to

rescue

years.

the

was

hot

settlers

her

sentenced

was

two

the

mistress

not

penal settlement, and


resided

the

luxuries, in

mystery existed

some

had

she

where

which

like

great patron contrived, however,


of

very
; and

pretty garden

at

other

the

at

cottage

labor."

influence,however,
she
convict, to which

small

held,

and

73

GAMBUSINO.

somewhat

was

of

had

was

village,in

cigars, brandy,
for

OF

resided.

extremity of
here

FATE

her

remove.

than

another,

were

high birth and condition, and the vast


wealth
she had once
possessed ; the only real clew I could
discover
narratives
to these
being the simple fact that her
own
predecessor, and
dog, a fierce English bull-dog,
my
who
her,
by peculiar favor was
permitted to accompany
silver collar, richlychased
used
and ornato wear
a massive
mented
: fiction,
indeed, had invested it with precious stones
and
these were
purely imaginative ornaments.
; but
gems
Even
of jewels, such
devoid
deemed
was
an
unequivocal
her

"

"

riches

of

proof

those

among

Senhora

order, and La
very lowest
lionnaire
character
at a
"

in her

interestingpart
countrywoman
coupled with
did

not

It
so

conducted

inhabited

to

me
a

hut

no

to
for

poverty
Dias

To

was

this

that
believe

that

seemed

I knew

to

her

called

the

"

the

me,

which

of

was

bought

cheap price.

story

yet

much

the hour

was

as

so

venture

that I had

built

; and

whose

milmost

her

my

so

unlikely,and

be

impossible,that

was

it.

of the siesta when

we

reached

"

The

Cat,"

opportunity of seeing the Senhora.


Mijo
little building in the garden, originally
a
a

by Lupo.

man

who

There

watched
I

was

the

installed

fruit,but latterly
at

once.

Some

74

CONFESSIONS

chestnut-leaves
I

water;
"

receive

half

an

ounce

fell to the

failed

myself by

I shall

would

Many
have

the

that

perquisites,

my

Mijo left

free

was

black-mail

of

were

so

on

recruit

to

me

morrow"

I know

begin

to

to

open

that

Culture
duties

it had

to
;

the

and,

become
the

peaches
to

still

more

making
with

fertilized

each

day

about

that

of

wandered

the

baskets

the

and

it

fallen

was

fruit
loaded

was

them

beauteous

pomegranates.

fluttered

little chorus

rippling

insects

and

stream

of

and

sounds
that

day,

ever

and

murmured

What

rot

with

it fell,

as

odor

the

thousand

the

mingled

of

gaudy

tall grass

creatures

near.

had

earth

chirped among
that

Senhora's

The

left to

my

I issued

ere

nature.

of

one

the

at

left to

was

flowers, too, glitteredamong

overtop

the

luxuriance

by

oranges

every

all

it;

need

to

fruit

place

atmosphere

very

brilliant

tried

rank

of

and

ripe

this, I believe

save

so

the

Well," and

"

wilderness

and

was

myself appeared

than

seemed

nor

none,

pluck

to

was

forth

that

other

far

ship,
companion-

hours

so

livelihood

forced

many
as

went

even

foot.

set

door

so

thoughts,
no

in

otherwise,

or

of

me

which

all self-

down

source

involve

would

life to

the

credit
nay,

"

condition.

my

break

my

devote

might

in which

garden,

to

that

not

undisturbed

own

my

to

I first found

as

degradation

that

to

feel thus,

not

did

which

me

and

vast

Whether

esteem.

congratulate myself

to

to

tended

feelings,pleasurable

over

the

that

of
me

think

thoughts, and
have

not, but I did

over

to

said

have

would

and

came

time

all other

reduced

respect

had

melange

strange

which

reverse,

perhaps

mastered

was

as

the

alone, and

myself

the

forget

never

and

and

sisting
con-

labors.

my

knew

the

garden,

mangoes,

These

each

taken"

"

the

species

me

bread

had

of

and

; and

day's rest,

one

fruit

"

maize

Lupo

"

peaches,

dessert.

already

of

the

ground,

the

at

me

duties

my

coffee,

afforded

spring

ounces

Of

limes, oranges,

whatever

"

of

CREGAN.

small

eight

in sausages.

of

never

bed

my

to

"out"

latter

of

were

was

with

lav,

CON

OF

of
the

that
colors

leaves,

deliciously

SfePSSferSSX^
SENHORA.

LA

THIS

remained

slipped
for

about

seemed

autumn,

it

as

beauties

of

that

the

of
monotony
my
companionship,

the

"Sunday,"

humble

did

Mijo,
the

and

dreary

a
are

of

hours

slept ;

own

far

labor

my

only

voice

but, after

less desirable

the

I had

many

states

always

was

word.

when

The
with

Indeed,
at

at

their

night,
"life

existence

wherewithal

all others

the

was

of

no

save

asses

It

the

me."

nor,

wayworn

heard.

ever

which

for

was

fellow-men

solitary path

my

all, how
!

varied

varied

This

my

passing
precicely those

tracked

pursued

or

to

and

there

me

even

were

other.

for

denness
sud-

the

illusion

me

never

exchange

whether

the
"

duties

all

Sabbath-day

no

with
summer

"

the

bound

that

"shone

my

ever

round,

was

dog

too,

suggested

fell, and

snows

came

the

complete

link

no

with

Time

little,save

these

one,

long

Noria.

varied

then

how

say

La

followed

into

vying
life

of

heavy

and

magic,

to

daily
"

when

spring

season

of

range

but

to

seasons

blended

were,

wanting

was

the

like

one

village

months,

prevailed ;

that

all

winter

two

cold

severe

at

unable

am

the

unchronicled

away

hour

very

to

my
of

there

subsist

76

CONFESSIONS

had

no

upon

with

health ; and

the

nor

any

"

reflection ;

hovel

CREGAN.

duty incompatible
time for
greatest blessingof all

"

and

meanest

CON

labor,

severe

I had

self-communing
which

OF

raised

ever

delicious

that

hands

by

leisure, in

become

one

's

fashion ; various
happy, then, after my own
and occupied
tasks amused
to lightenmy
little contrivances
also
thoughts. To bring the garden into order was
my
me
a passion with
although necessitated to invent and
; and
deterred
not
fashion
the tools to work
with, I was
by this
if
it. I greatly doubted
but manfully overcame
difficulty,
Watt
ever
machinery
improvement in steam
gazed at a new
first attempt at
with
half the delight I looked
upon
my
rake.
a
Then, what
pleasure did I experience as I saw
beds
covered
with blooming flowers, the clearly
the trim
!
and
weedless
raked
walks, the grass-plots close-shaven
"

Home."

the

How

was

thoughts
in

alterations

changes and

of

dreary night! What


festoons
of the winding vine-branches
invent ; what
not
;
the old gardener,
of the leafy banana
! Like
what
bowers
too
I began at last to think that all these things were
Adam,
I

as

wandered

the

filled my mind
trellises did I

man's

beautiful

for

deserved

companionship,

enjoyment

Maria

"Donna

did

I believe
been

hold

caught

the

of

de

life of

it was

I to make

was

the

ecstasies

that

the

selfishness

upon

its

Dolores;"

mine

as

of

my
When

perfection.
in fancy to
away
and
how
fervently

it,my

present existence

Paradise!

thoughts at last
thinking why the Senhora
visit her garden, nor
see
be sure,

such

to share

that, with her

that

I wandered

me,

los

These

To

gaze,
and

greatest blot

the

was

this notion

had

one

themselves, and

exhausted
Dias

never

had

I fell

curiosityto
wrought in it.

the

changes I had
true she knew
nothing of them : how, then,
The
fact reach her ears ?
only hours that
the

curtain
those when
libertywere
every close-drawn
and closed shutter proclaimed the "siesta."
in
life might slip over
clear enough that a whole
It was
There
thing
somethis fashion without
was
ever
seeing her.
my
it ;
that prompted a desire to overcome
in the difficulty
and so I set myself to plan the means
by which I might make
I

was

at

her

acquaintance.

the

garden,

the

Of

blinds

the
were

windows

always

which
closed

looked
; the

towards

single door

78

CONFESSIONS

made, and

of which

OF

few

CON

CREGAN.

a night of
cognizant. It was
bright moonlight ; but the wind was high, and drifted large
of cloud
playing
the sky, alternatelyhiding and disacross
masses
the moon.
Tracking, with an instinct too well
trained
to become
deceptive,the walks of the garden, while
the
dark
shutout
mass
a
"lamp of night," I reached
my
little
when
bench
beside
the
stone
on
a
hut,
door,
suddenly,
female
She
I beheld
seated.
a
was
figure
scarcelyfour yards
in the full glare of the moonlight
I stood, and
where
from
tall and
as
palpable as at noonday. She was
elegantly
formed
her
air
and
beneath
the
folds
coarse
carriage,even
;
of a common
dress of black
as
dition
bespoke conserge, such
white as marble, and finelyand
; her hands, too, were
of them
she held a velvet mask,
delicatelyformed ; in one
it had
with anxiety to see the face from which
and I watched

been

which

removed,

were

still averted

was

beautiful

perceive that her features,


had
once
suffering and sorrow,
in perfect symmetry
traits were
; the
character
of
at
severity somewhat

mouth

had

alone

variance

with

the

the rest, but

its outline

attested

eyes

work

the

of

faultless,

was

the

"

circles

dark

The

only being unpleasing.


the

last she

At

me.

I could

slowly round, and


by evident
although worn
turned

been

from

of

years

pression
ex-

around

grief, bitter

and

corroding.
What
from
the

do,

advance

"

boldly,or

retire

noiselessly

first alternative

presented perhaps
of ever
only chance
speaking to her, it might also prevent
her ever
:
again visitingthe garden. This was a difficulty

and
I

should
the

I had

ere

If

spot?

time

the

coughed slightly:

any semblance
face to face.
"You
said

"

should

she, with

using

of

the

she

it,she

halted

terror

have
a

solve

to

or

been

even

on

of

manner

and

looked

your
almost

rounds
stern

"

am

the spot.

around, without

surprise,and

but

so

we

stood

this hour!"

on

expression, and

having forgot

equipment, I returned to seek it."


They would punish you severelyif
"I

leave

Spanish language.

So I should, Senhora;

she, in the

to

arose

same
aware

it

were

part of my

known,"

said

tone.

of

that," replied I; "and

yet

would

incur

the

penalty twice
for

thoughts

have

to

over

hour

every

79

SENHORA.

LA

whom

my
been

past have

months

these

of

one

seen

full."
Of

"

me?

"Yes,
words

Seilhora, of you.
bethink

; but

uttered, but

are

know

the

presumption of my
in such a spiritthey

that it is not
you
humbled
the cry of one

as

the very dust, and who,


link that binds
him
to his
to

above

"

speak of me?

You

looking at

on

fellows, and

and

humiliated

you, remembers
for the instant

degradation of his sad condition."


"And
it is through me,
by looking at
thoughts are inspired! said she, in an accent
anguish. "Are
English youth?"
you an

me,

"

"

Yes, Seilhora,as much

"

And

is this the

English,

sentiment

sir,
"I

made

"that

from

shame

"

your

upon

falsehood,

the

world

Guajuaqualla,
I shook
"

It

my

as

head

the

am

neither."

heard

the

poisoner and

heard

heart

and

Shame,

I am?

shame

upon

of

from

me,

disordered

the

Havannah

forger !

the

mind.
to

"

dissentingly.
less

are

you
heard

than

human,"

said she,

it. But mind, sir,it is untrue


;
you had
She paused, and
then, in a voice of terrible
is

emotion, said, "There


head, but not that!
have

as

of

worse

betokened

has

is, then, because

"
or
scoffingly,

call himself."

my

have
heard
you
violence
and
rapidity that

"All

piercing

have
day and night dreams
idol."
worshipper creates his own
of me?"
said she, speaking with

as

as

or

of

such

"

land," said she,

elevation

an

contemplation of such

you

"

can

native

your

feel

can

your

principle."
only know
you, lady,

Irishman

an

morality of
you

the

as

"But

rises

the

"

in

the

And

enough

Sefihora Dias ?

words

I told

crime

upon

this

poor

to
lived,
you
said she, with an hysteric

have

where

of La

of

"

not

laugh.
In

few

her

how

I had

made

part of

gold-searchingexpedition, and been utterly ruined


calamity which destroyed my companions.
You
would
have sold yourself for gold wherewith
' '

pleasure !
"I

was

support."

"

muttered

poor,

she

lady;

to

great

by

the

to

buy

for

my

herself.

I must

needs

do

something

80

OF

CONFESSIONS

Then

"

wealth?

Where

to

men's

vices,
wild

Tbe

faculties
followed

of

uttered

her

with

What

its want,

imitated

have

only

ennoble

the

interest

an

with

as

manner,

need

of

acquired

or

tbe

rich

them."

excessive

an

words, convinced

these

under

not

her

labor?

virtues,that sometimes

vehemence

were

bumble

learned
you
it?
could
You

their

not

rapidity she

CREGAN.

bad

expend

taste

follow

not

why

CON

her

that

me

right control of reason, and I


even
heightened by that sad

impression.
You

"

see

round
have

ever

you

suddenly,

"else

speak

none," said

to

I should

bid you

she,

ing
turn-

forget that you

me."

to

we

I stood

as

one,

seen

Are

"

no

beside

"

again, Senhora?

meet

door, of which

the

I, submissively,

said

held

she

the

key

in her

hand.
"Yes
left

perhaps

"

I don't

"

know;"

and,

months

crept

over

slowlythey

how

and

"

again seeing the Senhora.


my
bouquets which each morning I fastened

without

before

removed

were

existence

other
The

her.

door

the

heavy

crossed

near

I fell into
routine

in

into

wear

past
a

of my

what

wooden
close
it.

have

it not

Were
to

went

"

the

tbat

the window-bars
she

tbat

fancied

had

dreamy imagination gave


never
opened;
"jalousies" were

than

my

locked

It

clear

was

not
to

marked

foot-tread

she

me

had

never

her.
night I first saw
tiresome
The
a
plodding, melancholy mood.
daily life,its dull,unvarying monotony, began

since

threshold

the

I could

noon,

remained

gravel

the

to

saying, she

me.

Two

no

so

my

soul, and

the

I ceased

either

think

to

the

over

speculateon the future, but would sit for hours long


of everything.
moody revery, actuallyunconscious
or

Sometimes

I would
and

make

an

effort

try, by recollection

of

throw

to

tbe

off

this despondency

active

energy
kind
of one

nature, to stir up myself to an effort


my own
other ; but tbe unbroken
stillness, the vast motionless
around

me,

lived, would

resume

companionless

the

their influence, and

isolation
with

in

of
or

tude
soli-

which

sigh I
weary
wish
in
left no
a

hopelessness that
for a speedy death.
the heart save
of impiisonment
Even
castle-building the last resource

would

resign myself

to

"

ceased

"

of

suecesssion

had

also

dreary images, of

which

interest.

to

81

SENHORA.

LA

the monotonous

Life

water-wheel,

resolved

the voiceless

path

darkened

the

itself into

prairie,
night
mid-

of my

myself sinking day


that resistless apathy through
which
no
pierces.
ray of hope ever
At last I ceased even
to pluck the flowers for the Senhora's
which
window.
I deemed
exertion
might be avoided,
any
to
needless, and taxed my ingenuityto find out contrivances
escape my dailytoil. The garden I neglectedutterly; and in
the chief
patrol,were
by day, hour by hour, into

the wild

luxuriance

1 felt

and

rank

soil the

of the

weeds

effaced

soon

of mind
What
culture.
a strange frame
every sign of former
mine ! Even
the progress of this ruin gave me
a pleasure
was
ing
felt in witnessing the bloomto the full as great as that once

its healthful

of

beauty

the rank

among
of some

noisome

and

of

the

experiencing a

with

walk

to

the savage

delight

triumph amid the


and the valued,
beautiful,the richly-prized,
species of insane pleasurein the thought of

democratic

downfall

weeds

used

vegetation.

leader

who

his

saw

fancied

some

vengeance.
the wild growth of the valueless

How
tender

excellence

weed
how

fragrant plant;

of the

overtopped
the

the

noisome

odor

overpowered its rich perfume ; how, in fact,barbarism


lorded it over
became
a
civilization,
study to my distorted
apprehension ; and I felt a diabolical joy at the victory.
little more,

madness
misanthropy had become
;
but a change was
in
I was
the
at hand.
sittingone
night
garden: it was
"patrol" should
already the hour when
my
have begun ; but latterly
I had grown
indifferent to the call of
duty : as Hope died out within me, so did Fear also, and I
of
cared little for the risk of punishment,
a kind
nay, more,
rebellious spirit
was
gaining upon me, and I wished for some
accident which
one.
might bring me into collision with some

and

this

"

As

I sat thus, I heard


the

saw

but

Sefihora

Has

the life of

she, scoffingly.
"I
"

close

gazed calmly and

"

have
You
vol.

"

almost

hear,

can
n.

"

footstep behind

to

me.

I did

me

I turned, and

rise to salute

not

her,

sternly,without

speaking.
the dog imparted the dog's nature?
Why don't you speak?

"

said

"

forgotten how
at

lea.st?

"

to

do

so," said I, sulkily.

82

OF

CONFESSIONS

I nodded

understand

I nodded

time

wish

you
"

to

have

it!

colled down
Are

"

to

If so,
a

"

You

giving

me

mariner's

prairie
that

traveller
"

the

on

You

shall

well

dollars ; but
safe

you

to

proceeded

so,

conveyed
which

ride him

it

is

that

the

aud

map
lies

path

of

when

is," said she,

the

Red

River.

have

you

overtaken
on

reached

has

worth

mustang

spurring. If
paid his price."

showed

how

foot-

once."

at

without
he

the

over

unmolested, Senhora?
be

detail which

letter

contained

branch

mounted

Guajuaqualla
to

it?"

attempting

here

yourself;

of

prairiemust
be

heavy

I.

farmhouses

I to do

am

for

banks

villagesand
region."
how

the

Guajuaqualla,

of

town

package which
"
I only know

are

of

I want

asked

the map

small

burst, long

distant."

"

direction?

compass.
and
by the

And

"

miles

see

sudden

afresh, and

out

danger

you.

in the

person

shall

the

await

means

which

In

all,do

cheeks.

my

hundred

two

"

There

the

certain

about

opened

you willingto incur


this instant!"

"Ay,
"

short

lirstof

And,

in the

I; and

emotion

but

"

hence?

cried

of

dried-up sources
tears

"

to tell you.

much

from

to escape
I wish

Do

hear?"

you

for I have
then, attentively,

me,

stay, and

to

what

again.

Listen

"

CREGAN.

assent.

And

"

CON

well

and

sand
thou-

he

bring

She

then

maturely

circumstance
had been weighed and considered.
every minute
The greatest difficulty
to be
lay in the fact that no water was
with

met

be

compelled

serious

than

nearer

to

obstacle

eight}?miles,

compass
on

one

the

on

side, on

which

first
the

distance

da}7.

I should

If this

it relieved

other

were
me

of

all

apprehension of being captured after the first forty or


would
fifty miles were
accomplished, since my
pursuers
farther.
scarcely venture
The Senhora
had provided for everything. My dress, which
would
be
"

have

proclaimed

with

green

as

runaway

settler,"was

"

for the

gay attire of a Mexican


velvet jacket and
hose, all slashed

exchanged
a

me

jinglingsilver buttons, pistols,sabre,

and

to

horse-dealer,
and

decorated

rifle to suit.

LA

saddle

mustang, whose

The

of

accompaniment
leathern

the

of

ballast

goodly
days' provisions and
lock, and

which

equipment

and

to

of

the

also

usual

to have

its massive

doubloons

was

eyes

my

with

of

gourd

cloak, was

"craft,"

the

fitted with

be

to

was

portmanteau

purse

83

SENHORA.

silver

within.

Two

brandy, completed
than

more

the

an

wealth

of

empire.

an

"Are

content?"

you

asked

she,

she

as

finished

the

catalogue.
I seized

her
for

"Now
;

small

the

must

of

reverse

pursuitis

so, you

kissed

hand, and
almost

"

of

Sell

life

your
death would

reserved

be

You

for

may

of

since

you,
if taken

all, don't betray me."


"I
swear
it," said I, solemnly, as
evidence

fragments so
be impossible.

to

counsel

you

prisoner.

I held

up

qualla in safety,you will deliver this letter


of that
Estavan
banker
Olares, a well-known
with

present you

services,the
This
done,

reward
any
you
which
of
cannot
peril

and

"

speak of
You

me.

the

long

so

chance
need

positionin

to

Above

hand

in

as

! I

between

here

am

great

as

any

sun

the

"

of

will tell you why I stipulatefor this.


"
do I set out?
We
When
are.

are

perfect
to

never

of

Fortune

you to recognize
of this request :

reasons

the shame

will

for your
beforehand.

You

by

placed

He

town.

expect your

life,are

loss for the

no

in

Seiihor

sufficient

us.

if

Guajua-

the

to

be estimated

me

again

meet

which

think

I live ; nor,

as

be at

unjust sentence,
"

mark

here,

all tie is severed

me

should

we

my

however, escaping all peril,reach

you,

"

horrible

the oath.

"Should

fidelity,

be overtaken
may
successful ; if

be

give you

its contents

dearly ; this

devotion.

warm

it may

certain,

all detection

that

medal.

the

letter I shall

the

tear

it with

ignominy

the

Are

of

heaviest

we

an

guilt

agreed?

"

"

"

To-morrow

usual
skirts
know
your
time
she

time, pass
the

beech

the spot.
horse
her
seemed

by daybreak;
out

of

wood,
At

"

trembled

irresolute.

this

little before

your

the

village,and, taking the path that


for the Indian
make
ground,
you
"

the cedar-tree

all ready,
voice

leave

close

to that

the letter is here."


and
slightly,

"My

mind

for

Now
an

you
for

instant

is sometimes

so

will find
the first
or

two

shaken

84

CONFESSIONS

OF

by suffering,"said she,

"that

and

guidance;
about

even

in

place

to

Outcast, you

"

*"

at.
can

Nor

is it

it," said

at

we

to meet

never

I kissed
house

twice, and
and

before

occurred

could

be

in the

Built

the

on

little town

occupies
tumbling
was

the time

and

the

have

tered
fal-

I have

the

been

that

her

me

she

her

eyes.

pledge,

hand, which

passed

she

confer

rightto

drops from
keep your
you

without

into

gone, I
if what
had
was

incident

which

character

the
was

just

doubtless

who

and

adventure,

it is necessary I should
this has felt all the
ere

astray ! I crossed the Conchos


reached
Chihuahua, a city of considerable

miles
and

far

narrow

of

of
of

foam

of the

streets

as

she

prairielife,by reflection.
Enough
"
trail" which
interestingmistake of the

side

mass

"

of

consists
each

an

more

pretensions than

I had

gorge

abrupt mountains, the


great straggling street, which

any

yet

West."

Far

"

knew

not

week,

size, and
seen

am

"

garden, wondering

reader,

monotony

within

who

since, if

that I say, after an


led me
above
a hundred
River

its

real.

journey was
were
they of a
my

trust

confidence

humbled

one

heavy

even

in the

inflict upon
wearisome

to

what
I, finishing

again." She gave


then, turning away,

alone

my
neither

if the

as

said

am

the

"

standing
If

as

she, wiping
forever!

scarcely dare

epithet."

an

"Good-bye
are

say,"

such

one

CKEGAN.

stranger, in

fear, then,

not

offence

feel

utter

an

would

Do

take
"

now

CON

were

one
a

of

two

that

torrent

and

along

spray

monthly market,
crowded

with

or

descends
its

rocky

fair, when

peasants

and

in

great

It

course.

arrived,

muleteers

in

houses
The
were
mostly built
imaginable costume.
projecting balconies, from which gay-colored carpets
and
bright draperies hung down, while female figures sat
The
aspect of
lounging and smoking their cigarettesabove.
Great
wooden
at once
the place was
picturesqueand novel.

every
with

of melons
and cucumbers, nuts, casks of olive-oil and
wagons
wine ; bales of bright scarlet cloth,in the dye of which
they

excel; pottery

capering
from

all their native

Cerzo

the

Llama's

in

droves

ware;

Gorde,

piles of

whose

firearms

of

mustangs,

wildness
wool
from

fresh

; flocks

is almost

Birmingham

caught

of white
as

fine
and

and

goats
as

the

Li"ge,

86

OF

CONFESSIONS

if I

"Not

he, still staring


if you

Not

"

we

an't

"He
the

sits

He

"

into

the

I,

court, for

chap," whispered

of

one

Chiseller.

to

group

said

thousand, Senhor," said

'ere

that

Mexican,

no

say

pass
pray let me
of refreshment."

now

in need

both

are

to

were

haughtily;"and

you
beast.

the

at

dollars?"

five hundred

offer

to

were

CKEGAN.

CON

like

more

Texan,"

muttered

another.

have

devil, or a Choctaw
outright,but Seth will
his beast out of him," said another, with a laugh ; and

with

this the

be the

"He'll

the

opened

group

leave

to

me

free

into

passage

inn-yard.

All

the

easy
that my

myself
forward.
and

To

fears

brass

scabbard, my

crash

that

"

how

neglect I
Having
entered

from

thought
pleasant was
I

had

I could

suffered

commended

the inn with

my
the

such

bent;

my

rifle,
my

my

perform

spurs

and

set

graceful and welltheir flashingglances ;

how

read
an

I rode

as

windows,
eye to
attractive
coquetry.

Caballero!

handsome

convince

not

swagger
the saddle, I made

dark

many

did

on

in my
face
to the top of

sabretache, and

flutteringin

looking !
and

drew

fan

a
many
"What

I did

be sure,

put

written

not

were

flung myself

as

I could

assurance

in

imaginary

amende

for

the

hitherto.

of the ostler,I
beast to the hands
my
of my
all the swaggering assurance
posed
supin good earnest, with anything but an

calling,but,
and
his followers.
The
easy heart at the vicinityof Seth
crowded
with
the
into which
I passed was
public room
of their
dealers
of the fair in busy and
noisy discussion
several
bargains ; and had I been perfectlyfree of all personal
various
their
of
the
countenances,
anxieties,
study
most
had
been
and manners
amusing, combining
costumes,
as
they did every strange nationality, from the pale-faced,
New
hatchet-featured
Englander to the full-eyed,swarthy
of
The
old Spain.
of
descendant
mongrel Frenchman
half-breed
of
the prairies,more
the
New
Orleans, with
"

savage

in

feature

than

Pawnee

the

the Jew
the sallow
Yankee,
negro,
sailor who
the buccaneer-like
and
and

accompanied

him

as

himself, the
from

the

commanded

species

of

shining

Havannah,
his

sloop

body-guard,
"

all

were

studies

in

87

SENHORA.

LA

their

full

and

way

of

subject

for

after-thought.
In this

motley assemblage

mingled unnoticed, and


with garlic without
even

it may

"

on,

however,

and

another

had

and

kept

had

been

their

all the

rich

; the

me

leather

of

let

before.

me

tried
drank

wine,

my
the

upon

doubt

and

what

saw

little arts

thousand

always

floor ; when

and

threw

drops

the

he

had

mind, and
him.

If I

of each

glass

cigar between
genuine Mexican

my

squeezed it in

points of
played Spaniard to

hidalgo, and

in his

rolled

smoked,

features

mystify

to

the last

out

enormous

to whether

as

devices

his

of

passing

was

his buff-

vision.

conviction

palms, and patted and


my
I turned
fashion.
up the
true

like

me

changeful expression

struggle between
seen

I would, Seth and


way
boots, immense
spurs, and

before

up

in the

lost upon
overpowered all

flavor,were

which

jacket, his high

read

delicious

impending danger

some

look

me

horse-pistolsrose
I

on

all the

bouquet,

sense

else ; and

frijoles

"

I affected not
to perceive
impudent stare.
treated myself to a flask of French
wine, with
man
revellingin undisturbed
enjoyment. But

even

air of

the

their

full

eyes

of

mess

my

most

this,and

taken

to

that

As
I ate
passing observation.
pleased by remarking that Seth
seats
at a table right opposite,
in better society
with what
me

far from

was

down

sat

conceived

easilybe

moustache
like a
my
the very
top of my

bent.
Not
but

only did

I remarked

these

airs

that he

to throw

not

seem

him

off the

scent,

and often
suspiciously,
in whispers with
his companion.
conversed
My anxiety had
of fever, and
that if nothing
increased
I saw
to a sense
now
else should
do
I
agitation alone would
betray me.
so,
to a
me
accordingly arose, and called the waiter to show

eyed

me

more

room.

It
that
other

was

not

was

that

was

than

alone

confounded

my mattress
I heard a smart
on

that
difficulty

miserable

furniture

however,
of

without

in

little cell, whitewashed,


a

mattress

; I was

and

two

comparative
at the

ease

door, and

had,

and

with

no

and

chairs.

At

least,

glances

myself down
mind, when
suddenly

of

be

the basilisk

relieved from

horse-dealer, and

tap

could

one

threw

voice

called

out, witli

88

CONFESSIONS

Yankee

very

CON

OF

I say,

"

accent,

CREGAN.

friend, I

want

word

with

you."
replied,in Spanish, that

wait

must

till I had

Take

"

once

of

my

sir," said

it

I, as

take

his rest, without

it open, and
better to conceal

threw

"Hoity-toity!
shutting the door
"When

what

at

that

disturbed

feigning a

fear,
my
traveller cannot

in this fashion

him

have

"

we

and

we

before?"

he,

too ! "

old friends

met

ever

"

pucker you're in, boy !" said

behind

where

or

being

door

your

open

"

indignation, the
angry
is so very
urgently the matter

"what

they

me,

siesta."

myself
I

wanted

one

time, and

another

I '11do

mayhap

"Well,
look

siesta

your

; or

taken

if any
"

asked

I,

boldly.
For

"

the

'

the

when,'

I shook

where,'

'

it

"

something

"

head, with

my

up at Austin, in Texas;
like three years
bygone."
smile of incredulity.
a saucy
was

for

Nay, nay, don't push me farther than I want to go, lad.


Let
what 's the price of
bygones be bygones, and tell me
your beast, yonder."
"
I '11 not sell the mustang," said I, stoutly.
it's Seth
And
"Ay, but you will,boy! and to me, too!
"

it ! "

Chiseller says
No

"

horse

man

can

against
I did not

"There's

his

compel
suppose?"
to

presume

will,I

another

part with his

to

ness
I, affectinga cool-

said

feel.
a

many

stranger

thing

than

that

in

happens

with
a
a
chap ride away
parts. I 've known
question at all !
just without
any
tuous
I, in an effort at virwas
a
robbery ! exclaimed

wild

these

beast,

"

"

"

"That

indignation.
"

It

for

reward

and

he

as

which

of

spoke
all

the

San

but

there 's
"

he

that

Hundred
"

"taking

Dollars
the

Reward,"

down

"

"a

trail towards

Jose."

"There
said T,

"

apprehension, and there it be !


threw
a
printed handbill on the table,
with
I could
read
swimming
eyes
my

words, "One
called Charcoal,"

mare

fellow's

the

the

were

it,"responded Seth

n't far off from

war

was

no

use

in

carryingthat piece of

pitchingit contemptuously away.

paper

so

far,"

And

"

"

so, lad?

why

this

"Because

at
he, peering inquisitively

asked

took

89

SENHORA.

LA

in

place

and

Texas,

here

we

me.

in

are

Mexico."

me

one

of

's to

who

but

"

stop

tell

that, boy

me

"In

the

be taken

market,

deserves

owned

drew

formidable

presented

"

Put

down

pistol

"

or

thirty

the saddle-bow?

at

fellow

let

would

like

crupper,

calf for

particularlyso long
this !

like

from

who

and

"

breast, and

my

it is

that

manner

"

irons, lad," said he, with

as

here

I
it

held

rarely agreeable

the

I '11 not

"

said, "Now,

and

him,

est
very slightwe'll come
to

business:

to

want

mustang."
him, Seth," said

shall have

You

Guajuaqualla, whither I am
"I
am
a-going north,"
that

head

of

'

agitationin his manner;


burning powder."
nothing better,"said I, putting up my. weapon
stand being threatened."
short, dry laugh, as though the conceit of my

a
gave
speech amused

"

can

the

n't

behind

sha' n't?

You

'

of

He

that

's to say
ride at

him

throw

said

"

your

for

I ask

but

Who

weapon
him, in a

towards

appearance
without
terms
"

wrists, and

something,"
him, why should

confront.

to
"

his

that

four-barrelled

the

upon

place," said I, "the


and
slung on your
nothing better ; and

first

himself

he

fellow

be

might

lads, with Colt's revolvers

well-mounted
"

over

horses?

my

that

I to chance

were

running-knot

I pass
on

strict law

in

"Mayhap,
he, calmly ;

I,

"

the

clayhe

in all haste."

bound

Seth, gruffly,"and

said

reaches

in

not

direction."
You

send

can

of your

one

people along with

me,

to fetch

back."

him

"Better

to

leave

journey," said

the

This

rather

was

him

"It's

ransom,

me

and

now,

take

hack

for

he.
too

was
say that he who
dictate the conditions

to

with

much
to

for my
receive

temper
a

I ventured

present should

accompanying it.
a forfeit,
boy,
"

; and

"

not

scarcely

present," said

he, gravely.
"

Let

us

see

tivelygrasping

if you
can
the weapon

enforce
within

it, then," said I, instinc


my

coat

breast.

90

CONFESSIONS

"There,

you're

now,

imperturbablesmile;

could

have

not

to have

he, with

deal

his

together,let

woid

been

was

amenable

Let

holsters and
are

piece of
who

to his very

have

me

dollars

saddle-bags
plenty with you

How

"

About

anything

the persons,
in hand ; but

trail

Not

that I would

niggers and
and they 're

the

it than

; and

jinglein them

; and

to

as

at

your
tells me

he threw

"

to

see

that

this,"

his

feet,

the

"

"

with

account

the
man

Seth

Guajuaqualla?"
and twenty miles by the regular road ;
follow
it forty less.
the miners
makes
this to

to try that line ; the runaway


you
the half-breeds
are
always loiteringabout there,
over

advise

with

ready

bowie-knife, if tempted by

the

two."

conversation
Seth

the

all."

hundred

there 's

tone.

in

him

it will have

about

is it from

but

or

I want

"

offering the reward

far

"

beast,

the

Chiseller, that's

Our

either

slightestsuggestion.

have

paper

says

dollar

than

of that character

the

or

became

drawn

caricature

subject of the transaction


had he uttered
talismanic, and no sooner

manners,

we're

gentlemen."
ludicrous
probably a more

Now,

"

said

again!"

angry

"if

CREGAN.

CON

it like

do

us

OF

knew

took

now

the

an

country and

easy, almost
its inhabitants

friendly

perfectly,

and
freely communicative
all his dealings with them.
Let
have
flask of
us
a
Aguadente,' said he, at last,
"
and then we '11 join the fandango in the court beneath."
to my
taste ; and
Both
by
sufficiently
propositions were
of any
of showing that no
trace
ill-feeling
lingered in
way
and

in discussing them

became

"

my
the

"

'

mind, I ordered
best

Seth
most

an

excellent

and

supper

two

flasks

of

Amontillado.

expanded, under the


agreeable companion.

of

influence
His

into a
grape,
adventures
had

the

personal
them

highly exciting ;
and although a certain
suspiciousnessof every man
his motives
a
and
hearty tone
tinged all he said, there was
I had
what
him vastly different from
of good-nature about
given him credit for.
been

The

most

and

many
Yankee

numerous,

Amontillado

"Paquaretta,"

of

being discussed, Seth


of

delicious

ordered

flavor, of which

some

every

ican
Mex-

glass

LA

seemed

courtyard into beauties


The

scene

with

the

first order.

the

building, in the open

assembled.

were

of

is it

very

sides of the

dancers

of

belles

nor

A trellised paspicturesque one.


sage,
spreading vines in full bearing,ran around

was

roofed
the four

life ;

inspire one with brighter views of


if my
the
rural
fancy converted

to

wonder

any

91

SENHORA.

of

Gay lamps

of which

space

painted

the
and

paper

rude

pine-torcheslit up the whole, and gave to the partycolored


and
an
showy costumes
elegance and brilliancy
which
the severer
test of daylight might have
been ungenerous
The
to
olive-brown
the
enough
deny.
complexion
the graceful gestures
the inspiriting
flashingdark eyes
"

"

music

the

"

voices

merry

ingredientsof

many

the

human

like

very

perhaps
Into

It

"

the

"

pleasure
and

heart,

enchantment,

to

into

put

result

that

too

little crucible,

into

which

to

all

were

"

amalgamate

not
a

"

laughter

the

something
Paquaretta

contributed.

this gay throng Seth and I descended, like men


in Mexican
phrase, to " take pleasure by both
the

very climax
dance
was

of

mined,
deterhorns."

the

we
evening's amusement
the Mexican
entered.
The
which
is
fandango,
performed in this wise : a lady, stepping into the circle,
after displaying her attractions in a varietyof graceful evolutions,

at

was

the

"tour"

desires

to

makes
Caballero

she

option either

to decline

of

take

her

as

honor

the

by

humility,or, accepting it,he gives


his

"

to

be

afterwards
of the

which
the

are

scene

fears

the

is at

his

part of his equipment,

some

riding-glove,

forfeit; the great

ment
amuse-

consistingin the strange penaltiesexacted,


with

invariablyawarded

is certain
of

as

of

gesture of deferential

her

It

partner.

his embroidered

or

redeemed

peculiar temperament

fellow
mass

hat, his scarf,

party in search

the

to

and

be

sufferer.

of the

mulcted

terrors

horsemanship ; a gourmand
least appetizing nature
; and
expiationwhich is certain to

scrupulous

of

Thus,

his money

is condemned
is sentenced

attention

to
to

is

an

miserly
unwieldy

some
a

to

dish

feat
of

of

the

obliged to an
the bystanders. While
amuse
in the lottery,
the prizes consist in
these are
blanks"
the
the soft, seductive
glances of eyes that- have lost nothing
of Castilian fire in their transplantingbeyond seas
; in the
"

so

on

each

92

CONFESSIONS

of

graceful gestures

OF

CON

whom

to

partner

CREGAN.

native

the

dance

motions
expressive language, and whose
are
in beiug, perhaps, the favored
eloquent than words,
like

an

more

of

"

choice

whose

all these,

has

made

you
the

without

even

the

hidalgo of

aid

of

is

her

the

evening ; and
Paquaretta, are no slight

distinctions.
the seductions

Were

blood

Irish

best
be

has

been

fitted to resist

selected

less attractive, it is not

whose

man

a-glowiug with Spanish wine who


them, nor assuredly ought Con Cregan
set

such

for

self-denial.

I stood

in

the

is
to

circle with

wondering admiration, delightedwith everything. Oh, happy


of the balmy night ! excellent
age ! glorious hour
grapejuice ! how
three !
it to

much

I suppose
with me,

be

delicious

of

it is the
that

immediately single
especialpredilection.
the

upon

spot for

out

house, I instantlysettle in my

owe

but

one,

or

however

you all
I know

situated,

particular object for my


a
landscape, I at once
pitch
temple, or a villa ; if it be a

it be

If

every

I am,

some

cottage,

with

case

wherever

do

enjoyment

mind

the

I would

room

take

sit beside, the very chair


the window
I would
own,
my
I 'd take
to lounge in ; if it be a garden, I fix upon
the
walk
whose
I would
embowering blossoms
always be
among
as

found

and

I have

possess

if the

so,

occasion

quick eye
highest attractions

catch

to

beautiful, whose
like to chisel,
but one
most

"

"

suggestive of
in

rich

the visions

colors, the

gazed on, and made


stories, only known
these

not

are

about

with
In

of

formed
slightly
thrice
kind
me.
so

had

met

of indolent

She

wore

fashionable

outlines

has

had

heroine

of

one's

this kind

and

but

graceful

own,
my
reluctance
the

among

and
"

best

heart.
of

been

adventures?

our

piece

the

Mexican

rested
eyes

very
of scarlet cloth
"

back

upon
twice

again

At

look

we

withdrawn

I fancied

oh, dear

And,

that my
eye
whose
dark
girl,

square

are

little love-

hundred

was

as

loveliness

in

are

it

appearance

boyhood, filling
up,
have
often
so
we
picture

own

the very

enjoyment,

and

always for me the


a
sculptorwould

fair form

mind-drawn

to

Not

me.

whose

the

air

whose

faultless

one

of festive

one

certainlythose
self-reproaches.

fewest
mood

her
for

least,if they be not, they


on

be

with

a
or
a

to
flattering
on

peasantry, the

her
corners

he:id,
of

94

OF

CONFESSIONS

CON

CliEGAN.

I suppose
somethingmust have betrayedto my companion
what
was
passing within me, for Seth whispered in my ear,
he's a Rauchero
notice of him,
"Take
no
; and
they are
"

bad

always
"

what

But

with."

quarrel

each

saw

his

he

can

have

with

me?"

said

before."

other

it is?"

what

see

's

she

of

cause

I ; "we
never
14 Don't
you
chacha

deal

to

uns

said

Seth.

and

she 's been

sweetheart,

to please him."
this way
Well, if the girlhas got such good

"It's

the

mu-

a-looking

long

too
"

laugh,

saucy

She

"

the

"

is

he

neat

and, making

blushed, and

been

have

manner

more

at

I stood,
up to where
I
held out her hand.

me,

little more

ran

round

than

the

lipsupon

pressed my

little murmur

Seth ; and

proudly

courtesy before

low

in the

for it."

fact," muttered

girlwalked

there must

suppose
enthusiasm

prize her the


's

that

uu,

the

instant

same

ought

to

taste,"said I, with

the circle.

ordinary

it,for she
The

next

I, at least,lost
whirlingalong in the waltz,
I deemed
the proud pleasure of what
to everything save
my
to
the
music
The
fandango, of
suddenly changed
triumph.
the graceful
dance
I was
which
a
perfect master ; and now
pany
plauditsof the comelegance of my partner and the warm
moment

we

were

"

called forth my

exertions.

utmost

for her, she

As

was

it
bewitching representativeof her native measure
is possible to conceive, her changeful expression following
of the dance:
now
movement
retiringin shrinking
every
advancing with proud and haughty mien,
bashfulness, now
now
enticingto pursuitby looks of languishment, now, as if
daring all advances, her flashingeyes would almost sparkle

the most

defiance.

with

What

terrible

of

breastwork

showering

not

that
graces
Alas!
I never

at,"

less
the defencethis to open upon
withstand
the
How
Irishman!

poor
grape-shot of dark
a

lurked

of

assault

"

batterywas

but

in every

attempted

scarf

which

and

smile

fringe, I passed it round

her

all

taper waist

tearing

heavy
in

every

the

ture?
ges-

surrendered,

defence;

I wore,

resist

how

"

"without," discretion; and,

great embroidered
of

glances?

with

very

off

its

the

gold

transport

enthusiasm.
While

the words

buzz

approbation ran

of

uttered

on

all

round

the circle,I heard

sides, " Destago !

"

"A

forfeit !

"

try his gallantry,"said

"I'll
from

with

lynx-eyed duenna,

rich

Caballero

I 'd choose
with

studded

I '11 have

"

'

should

that

as

mustang, with
silver," muttered
if I

well

look

at

with

have

lost their charm.

find

when

mere

pleasure,

heart's

mountaineer,
from

and

and

fight

it

closed

the crowd

now

hundred

mingled

tongues

all

finery would
me

think

cried

you!"

the

tore

out

of

number

the

in

altercation.

dancing

discovered

that
and

matter,

was

reprobation

of

Don't

"

you
his sweetheart
to

provoke
"Oui,

"

vous

In

his

even

my

and

Although

see," cried

the

and

took

the

same

than

The

to

with

their

most

raged
out-

view
the

the

of

others

in

that you have


taken
all this
muchacha
has done
me,

"

thin, miserable-looking Frenchman,

tire la bouteille ; il faut

fact;
was

be

jealousy."

all

after

he

him?

from

probability,had
these comments
effectually,
"

should

great astonishment, I

my

energetic

more

it

conduct.

oui," said

avez

Seth

friend

my

scarf

voices;

space,

professed themselves
indignant that a stranger
thus insulted, I saw
plainlythat the majority were
they agreed in regarding as a
countryman, whom
To

the

rags.

in upon

injured individual.

of

"

shall it be ?

few

and

like to

ground, trampling

very

wild

shall

must

make

what

the

on

"I

will remind

his seat, he

tearingit to
fight!" shouted

"

trappings

which

will content

from

dashed

that

now

his feet, and

"A

of

ear.

and

dress

hence, and

if that

springing

hands

her

beneath

and

blood,

as,

her

something

have

I must

evening a long time


made
its happiness ;

"His

in

third

cannot

of this
who

necklace

these," said the girl,musing

of

none

me

him

her

and

saddle

bethink

me

give

old

an

another.

pearls," said

"

"

keep the capotillo,' said


fan as large as a fire-board.

should

muchacha

The

real

circle,and,

of the

verge

very

all in turn.

from

broke

tissue

the

"

to the

prize, gazed at it with wondering eyes ;


of praise and
exclamations
surpriseat the beauty

now

"

retu'ed

back

girl,as, darting

the

rich

the

holding up
of

she

arms,

my

and

95

SENHORA.

LA

"

not

and

for I dashed

only

held

back

the

payer
crowd

counsels
forward

by

maiu

le vin."

separated

had

been

us

most

all uttered

strike my
antagonist,
force, as Seth whisto

96

CONFESSIONS

in my

pered

and

now,

noise

the

; and

the

from

little doubt

very

against

broke

"

fair

either

it to

Another

Seth,

be

be

fight
passion."

waxed

louder

towards

's

in

"

and

there

me

reply

to

was

downright

shame.

sword

or

Let

stand

ensued

upon
Seth and

day

the lad

you

his

of

of

rades
com-

that at the

the Mexican

to meet

was

the

this,the end

led away
one
by
with the satisfactory
assurance

my room,
first dawn
of

the

pistol-work, whichever
anything else."

was

to

hear

pretty bit of ground outside

fierydiscussion
I

speech

some

at, for I did not

guess

I '11 not

be.

very
that

was

very

confusion

only

There

play.
for

garden,

which

and

in

that would

"

choose

coolly,lad; it must
hand
by flyinginto

strongly public opinion pronounced

purport I could

have

CREGAN.

glances directed

how

no!"

words,

CON

me.

"No,
whose

it

unsteady your

Meanwhile
louder

"Take

ear,

don't

OF

peasant in

single combat.
You

"

Seth,
a

have

as

entered

we

minute

of

It has

been

have

been

chivalrous
disdain
full

for

before

advice

my

far

friend

my

accorded

me,

is,don't lose

with

impossible for

Seth

good

regard for my honor, and


life,than the aforesaid
my
for

have

to

evinced

Seth.

He

Now,

although it has

in these

affairs that

confessed,

on

more

contemptuous

more

indifference.

reasons

am

it would
Certainly,

faith.

one

any

the very hour


I
Chiseller's conduct

were

advanced

the results of
of

almost

most

become

nothing like a bold,


decided
these qualitiesmay
be carried to
friend, yet even
I began to experience.
excess
so
; and
he expatiated upon
There
in the way
was
a vindictiveness
of the insult I had received, the palpable
the gross character
of the outrage, that showed
the liveliest susceptibility
openness
to
the score
of my
on
reputation; and thus it came
that
from
diction
spiritof divergence and contrapass, I suppose,
an

axiom

said

you,"

to

up

deadly combat,
speculative matters

which, he

dreamy

sleep

and

"

to

mystery

hundred

one

room

my

of

them."

writing in, how


this occasion

hours

good

two

so

argument

ingenious

native
ran

to the human

in favor

grew

my

of

there

heart

most

casuistry on

is

that

the stronger Seth's

bloody retribution, the


the

side

of

mercy

more

till,

your
"

How

so?

Why

"

You

don't

think

take

his muchacha

evening before
! they have
no

should

I have

that

from
whole

of

by

if you

and

then;

chance

the

discussion

the

prefer
sabre-cut, it 's

mine."

affair,not

own

road,

own
your
the ribs to

stiletto under

finished

sophistry,he

my

"Take

saying:
a

of

weary

grown

97

SENHORA.

LA

villano

the

him,

and

will suffer

dance

with

without

company,

different notions

such?"

to fear

fellow

to

her the entire

his

No

revenge?

that score,

on

as

'11soon

you

learn."
Then

"

"I

have

meet

him

You

tell

told

that

chaps have
up

to both

about

left

the

time

the

"

are
you
attack

if you

is not

and

to take

content

are

guard.

one

shoulder, I'll show

once

now.

these

now,

I '11 put

you
slightsabre-cut

how

you

more:

distant

very
swordsman

fair

tell you

to

him

run

body."

then?"

"And

"Why,
mouth,

about
then," said he, turning his tobacco
"I
for it; there'll
you'd better run
guess

to lose.

overtaken.

but
Turn

where,
reach

beast, and ride


your
don't
follow it long, or

Mount

qualla road,

soon

one

; and

the

through

time

but

and

already,

you

to-morrow,
me

"

is to be done?

what

beast

the

when

you
in

the town

loose,

've struck

you
take to

and

the

for

miner's

in his
be

no

the

Guajua-

'11

soon

the

be

tains,
moun-

track, you '11

safety."

Overborne

which
of
by arguments and reasons,
many
of
Seth strengthened by the pithy apothegm
Bethink
ye
This
is
not
where
!
Ireland
nor
England,
ye are, boy
neither !
all my
scruples vanished, and I set about the
in a spiritof true activity. The
time
various arrangements
"

"

was

I had

brief, since, besides


to make

my
Con

will.

taking
The

lesson

reader

in the

will

broadsword,

probably

smile

at

him ;
behind
Cregan leaving a testament
it so, and assured
but the over-scrupulous Seth would
have
world
of
with
"save
much
a
feeling,that it would
me,
to go a bit ugly."
trouble hereafter, if anything were
I therefore
bequeathed to the worthy Seth my mustang
and his equipments of saddle, holsters, and
cloak-bag ; my

the notion

rifle and
VOL.

of

pistols and
II.

"

bowie-knife

were

also

to

become

his,

98

CONFESSIONS

well

all my
that, in the event

as

he

the

gave

dollars

in my

in the

will,as

CON

CREGAN.

kind.

every
"

"ugly

with

be rendered

to

was

of

of

the letter with

convey

pledge

"

movables

as

would

OF

his

the

termination
hands

own

bag, which, Seth


would

alluded
to

There

be needed

for

that

was

said, need

to, he

Guajuaqualla,

greater readiness

for the service.

they

only stipulated

reward

seventy

some

be mentioned

not

the funeral.

"

It 's

costly hereabouts," said


theme.
"They put ye
llowers,and they sticks

the
he, growing quite lively on
in a great basket, all decked
with

hands

carry
know

; and

the

angels, I

or

such
not

don't

much

to
to

questions about

hoped
14

I should

distress

lot of prayers

body might
'

Molino

in

who,

the

ever

anything
think

the

But,
he

as

him.

muttered

Let
if I

and

in nil

him

not,

that,

own

'11learn

on,' as

this raw,

damp morning,
rheumatism, all to murder
injured one of them !

was

so

me

the

poor

the

the

at

to

ceal
con-

beg,

of

that
sight
feeling pervaded

purpose-like in their
of

cold

to the

have

risk of

took

reader

to

dozen

therefore,

at

look

they
the

at

kind

chaps

grass

uncomfortable

that chilled

I, "how

tall wet

my

something

There

large cloaks,

the

the

liberality.

the
goes
of about

group

with

most

seemed

in their movement

think!"

candid

me

in their

up

from

steady, regular tramp.


to

to

good Catholic, I

live,there

pointed to

too

There

as

and

"

been

of

amusing

so

'

procession,a strange
me.

make

dead, you 'd

yourself about that,"said he ; "I


Latin myself,
just to help you

wrapped

worse

half

offices of the Church

slowly and silentlytirough


way
of the garden.
bottom
I have

n't

was

ceremonies

that,

executor

the

say.
and
;
"

and

grave

my

have

more,

do

they

Seth, I felt that strange fascination which


painful theme, and asked a variety of

the

reminding

Don't

'

and

"

"

it seemed

masses,

in your
like devils

dressed

..

attaches

ever

or

which,

lemons

or

are

you

cry
lie there

as

the

as

oranges

My eye for it,but if you


long and listen to 'em !
although the subject was not one

Now,
me

chaps

big

two

tion
determina-

heart.

left their

l4

Only

beds

on

colds, catarrhs, and


fellow

young

who

never

"

Not
my

thought had I for the muchacha,


limited
trouble; my faculties were
a

"

to

the
a

cause

of

all

little routine-

LA

myself

of which

thinking

over

the

all I had

ever

heard

could

one

along

look

must

for

out

of

took

my

glance at
"

arm,

and

the

little

farewell

What

are

were

into my
all
"It's

me

; "we

and

have

the

fullest

've

time

to

no

wait

to fetch

where

impunity.
to lose.

for

We

you

on

the

for

this

sword

my

in

Seth
now
eight inches too short."
felt myself involuntarilythrowing

objects

about

I owned

the room,

it

as

"

look.

searching for?"
breast-pocket.

said he,

you

hand

Senhora's

Seth

cheap mustang

is full

yours

fatal localities,and

most

sliced with

said

Guajuaqualla road,

thing

the

and

"

and

anatomy,

of

be carved

Come

"

human

puzzled my brain
trying to remember

centre, and

the

was

99

SENHORA.

I ; "I

right," said

letter

safe.

If

wanted

if

"

to

see

anything

"

as

I inserted

my

that I had

the

understand

you

"

eh?"

"

Yes, yes; I'll look to it. They sha' n't bury you with
it, said he, with a diabolical
me
grin which made
positively
detest him, for the moment.
"

"

Chiseller

If Mr.
our

nature, he

readiness.
stable
called

endowed

was

The

deficient

was

for

it,
"

the

despatched

to hold

the road.

The

less than

with

"mustang"

entered, and

we

him

sabre

for

of two

finer

sympathies of
spiritof practical

rare

found

was

hired

sum

in the

in

"

crowns.

mountain

we

were

on

our

way

first

very

day's pleasure,

for my
coming, at
fetched
his
from
was

five minutes

the

lad

certain

he

so

was

spot

chamber, and
to

the

on

in

Molino,

fully equipped and "ready for the fray."


"Don't
I told you
about
the face-guard:
forget what
always keep the hilt of your weapon
straightbetween
your
hold the elbow
low."
This he kept repeating continually
eyes, and
went
as
we
along, till I found myself muttering the
words
after him mechanically,
without
attaching the slightest
"The
villain is a strong muscular
meaning to them.
chap, and perhaps he '11be for breaking down
your guard by
If he
with a stroke.
mere
force, and cleaving you down
tries it,you 've only to spring actively to one
side and
give
him
From
this he
point,anywhere about the chest."
your
"

proceeded
the

to

discuss

Mexicans

are

hundred
familiar

little subtleties

with,

so

and

that

at

gems
strata-

last

100

OS

CONFESSIONS

the

from
regretted,

battle had

of

If

truth

in

thoughts,

road.

different

eschew

was

and

horse-dealers, of Xeres
indiscretions

such
world
of

sorrows

issue.

no

in

me

what

saw,

now

be

besides, of

have

many

all, of
'

this

of

substauce

Charry

"

which

from

to

indulge in

and

sum

"If

wise

Chisellers

"

little

and, above

Seth

situation

it not

Ay, there was the


unlucky step about

that

lottery-ticket
placed

'

of

wise:

Beware,

Paquaretta
the

more

was

least, not

at

or,

make

may

!"

masters

your

my

as

will

sweethearts?

men's

other

with

them

so

in this

Con,
"

gago

much

saying, my
travelling a vastly

somewhat

ran

in l'uturo,

fandangoes

the

spoken, were
engaged in the performance

peril,Master

this

escape

all he

to

it

catechism, which

mental

soul, that

my

Seth

attention

be

of

himself,
upon
of the distinction.

way
every
seemed
full of

you

not

in

Worthy

bottom

very
fallen

CREGAN.

(ON

and

the

there

was

before, and

seen

again, that crime has other penalties


of conforming
to
that the difficulty
besides legal ones, and
assumed
one
lapse from the
an
good character, with even
path of honesty, is very considerable.
cried Seth, impatiently.
"Are
you attending to me, lad?"
"
I was
tellingyou about the cross-guard for the head."
of it," said I, frankly ; " nor
word
I have
not
heard one
will doubtless

many

see

"

is it of

least

the

could

n't make

hints

like

there's

man,

an

give

you
end

Seth, less convinced

spoke

them,

in

seated

by

the

of

odor

savory

villano

be

world

passing

the

better

offended

at

in
approached the Molino
perceived the party
spot, we
by their gestures, as well as
garlic,evidently eating their

we

little arbor, and

most

neared

we

few

reasonings than

my

and

more,

no

As

silence.

by

in the

matter."

the

of

would

If the

me.

talk

the

still less

swordsman,

those

All

consequence.

breakfast.
fellows

"The

their

follow
at

hand."

el vino

en

I tried
was

no

jolly,"said Seth:

are

example?
At

the

la mesa,
to
use.

same

and

Here
time
we

is

he called

'11 think

play indifferent, and


The
vicinity of

particular,of

certain

nice

"had

spot, and
out,

somewhat

seem

at

other

broad-shouldered

table

just

Muchacho,

"

of

the

bettor

not

we

my

pan

to eat."
ease;

group,
member

but

ami,
of

it
in

it

102

development

the

of

branch

stout

of

ease

of

meanly

less lenient

mood

my
"here's

shoulder;
my
If I had followed

treated
But

my
for him

the

group

Seth
it

But

"

too

I
spot assigned me.
swords, and I
given to draw
the

to

steel

never

so

I in

was

in the
and

calmly

remember

can

yet

even

the

can

clang

have

sword.

already
standing in a

villauo

alone

hear

glistened,and

it

as

I think

strongest,I should

the

walked

with

maiden
first of my
late for regrets ; and

defence

that

remember

can

and

the

to

was

position of formidable
I

then

retired, leaving

had

the

tool."

the

the instinct

friend"

"

down

hearty," whispered Seth, leaning

ready, Con,

"All's

moment;

did

coquetry !

female

to

clove

Never

give

to

single stroke

that

at

as

muscular

if

As

he

me,

slicing a cheese.

man

fandango

for
with

elm-tree

an

whose

arm

cordage.

intended

he

what

of

foretaste

knotted

like

was

CBEGAN.

CON

displayingan

shoulder,

to the

rolled up

over

OF

CONFB8SION8

circle.

slowly forward
the word
being
the flashing
see

of the

scabbards

as

itself I

have
flung them from us ; but of the encounter
only the vaguest impression. Cuts, thrusts,parries,advances
all blended
the
feints and guards, are
and retirings,
up with
of the bystandersas, in praiseor censure,
they
exclamations
At
the
encounter.
knowing why,
last, without
followed
we

after

few

totteriuga
heavily to
but
"

Basta

of

and

they

"

him

saw

me

no

then

out,

my
way
I could see

past

to

ground

let it go
dull bang I

cloak

him,

over

more.

whispered Seth.
ye waitin' for, lad?
"
his funeral, I reckon ?
to attend
"

he

"

is he

was

and

with

his

threw

they

force

all that
fast ; and
arm
up the villano's
the

anxiety ;

"

are

want

"Is

held

tried

sank

and

cried

while

back

me

forget! They

What

don't

held

cry, and

faint

in dread

forward

I sprang

take
group
it fell heavily to

the

never

others

uttered

back, let fall his sword,

Basta, Seilhor!"

again, when
shall

paces
earth.

the

"

them, but
one

the

of

two

antagonist

rally,my

warm

get the word

I couldn't

?"

You

out

for

worlds.
"

By

course

he is ; and

so

will you

be, if ye don't

make

bolt of it."
I have

some

recollection

of

an

angry

altercation

between

LA

and

Seth

"

flight
; but
along

it ended

before

as

refusing,and
somehow

the

I had

I became

been

in my
road at

indifferent

conscious

on
insisting
my instant
finding myself ing
gallop-

he

Guajuaqualla
surprise,feelingnow

extreme

my

myself,

103

SENHORA.

furious

eager

as

pace,
about
my

and,

to

safety

to it.

of this from

the

of uneasiness

sense

neared
and the danger of
experienced as each horseman
me,
pursuit aroused in me the instinct of self-preservation.
A rude sign-post at the foot of a rugged mountain
path
where
the "miners'
trail" led off to Guajuaapprised me
qualla;
from
wearied
"mustang," now
so, dismounting
my
and
blown
seven
miles, I
by a pretty sharp pace for above
animal

the

turned

descent

loose

great in life

so

and

as

set off

from

the

foot.

on

saddle

"

"

I know

of

to the "sole

no

'"

inspiritingpleasure of being carried along at will,


of mere
to the plodding slowness
pedestrianism. In the one
shoot
case
flying;" in the other, they jog
your sorrows
you
alongside of you all the way, haltingwith you when you lie
down
and
at noon,
taking share of the spring from which
Like
refreshed.
underbred
an
quaintance,
acparched lips are
your
they will not be denied ; they are always " going
and in their cruel civility
they insist on bearing
your
way ;
from

the

"

"

you
At

company.
a little cabaret
breakfast

some
a

gourd

before

of

as
"

the very

made

and

wine,

I reached

of

humblest

purchase

learned

that

of

order, I obtained
stock

nothing

Sanchez," the hut of

an

of bread
was

old

to

be

and

bad

miner, which

halfway to Guajuaqualla. This done, again I


set forth on
journey.
my
The
was
wild, without being grand. There
was
scenery
bareness
and desolation, but no sublimity. It was
evidently
rich as
that few in a land
of such inferior fertility
so
a tract
this would
select it for a resting-place
; and, accordingly,I
came
no
signs of habitation other than the shealings
upon
when
the shepherds raise at certain seasons
migrating with
reckoned

was

their flocks among

the mountains.

exactly the character of landscape likelyto increase


and thicken
the gloom of sad thoughts ; and, indeed, mine
This last exploitleft a weight like
little assistance.
wanted
All my
heart.
lead upon
sophistry about self-defence
my
It

was

104

CONFESSIONS

and

wounded

the

fact

brawl,

from

"So

the

had

taken

very

outset

much,"

Every

CREGAN.

and

could

man's

which

of

like

the

away

not
in

life
whole

the

That
to

chronicle

before
not

cover

foolish

lay

fault

on

have

the

approached

dwelling

and

weary,
about

they

to
at

therefore,
a

chapter

at

sight

anxious

kind
to

little
the

were

have

to

seem

just

am

far

as

from

and

yet

and

plodded
the

If
them

of

reader,
themselves.

with

your

the

like

human

which

am

destiny,

humble

permission,

and

interest,

extraordinary
my

sun

sad

along,

events

in

turning-points

father

when

anything

'11

sakes,

our

hour

the

convinced

respected

my

not

still

rest.

both

attempt

to

himself

as

to

were

for

come

in

and

confess

that,

so

once

for

have

particulars,"

but

in

record
least

of

length

would

horizon,

came

in

year

finished

said,

would

all,

'gentleman.'

out."

reader

bill

my

after

be

to

pursuit

and,

set

half

had

file

would

it, the

I
"

it;

seemed

day

trying

disastrous
to

when

as

"for

I,

this

attached

goal

the

said

in

step

penalty

them

necessity,

honor,
that

CON

side.

my

and

OF

we

'11

give

jpsttgfgfcssm:

"THE

walked

HAD

without

discovering

which

I had

assured

light

hoped

stood

fatigued,
I

length
heard

It
the

tired

was.

dog.

of
but

to

After

an

listen

of

an

unfrequently happens

by wolves,
present
hastened

case
on

it

immediately

in

so

the

but

in

looked

on,
I

direction

the

the

the

the

the

cries.

that

was

footsore

and
bark

the

of

sounds

bark,
in

such

me

caps

hut

aloud, I whistled,

sheep-dogs
to

miner's

heard

seemingly

occurred

of

not

at

had

hope

thought

"

much

Seth

which
the

the

I shouted

on

proceed, and

to

I walked

animal

to

spot

which

but

detect,
that

elevated

Although

interval, however,

I could

now

low, plaintive wail


not

twice

yet if any

valley

and

me,

to

the

narrow

gloomy

or

stopped

repeated, and

and

Once

it

for

cabin, in

and

visible.

situation

the

dark

end.

no

in

spot cheered

nearing
as

nothing

as

was

it

hours

prairie experience

"trail,"

the

twelve

Sanchez's

My

around,

make

myself

described

stood.

miles

nearly

of

night.

lost

not

for

was

found

the

pass

should

there

for

now

appearance

had

burning

were

which

any

to

that

me

DISCOVERY."

my

were

but

"

it

As

pain.
are

the

attacked

might

be

revolver,

the
and

10G

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

CREGAN.

wailing sounds grew fuller and louder as I advanced,


the cries of an
and
I could
now
distinguishthat they were
in bodily pain. I increased
in grief,and not of one
animal
speed to the utmost, and suddenly I felt the warm
tongue
my
in
of :i dog touch my
sign
hand, and his tail brush my legs,
of friendlywelcome.
I stopped to pat and caress
him, but
The

the

uttered

creature

poor

another

full of

so

cry

that

sorrow

routed on the instant.


thoughts were
if to see
as
now
preceded me, turning at each moment
I followed, and
whining in a low, faint tone, as before.
denly,
he stopped sudhad
not
long proceeded thus, when
shrill and heart-thrilling.
and set up a cry the most
in front of a miserable
that we
shealing,the
were

all other
He

that
We

saw

door

which

of

light with
surprise,the

had

not

lay
my
hut

flint,and

to

little taper.

them, when

notice

darting forward, placed his fore-paws upon


I turned

howl.
gave a dismal
his white
old man,
very
seemed
he lay in what

and
a
as

he

cold.

was

I tried to detect
dead

he

and

beheld

placed my hand
breathing ; there

figure of
his chest,

to

touched

his heart ; it

on

none

was

he

"

dog,

settle-bed,

the

hanging down
heavy sleep. I

my
; but

him

was

still.

was

quite

The

by

was

forgottenby all the


seeming calm of sleep.

him,
the
and

the scattered

and

his dress
"

great poverty.

they had

been
his

been

stump,

feature
from

his

fallen from

it had

old

of

again

he
my own,
several minutes.

The

old miner,
of

the craft

world

by

his

save

of water

cup

was

hollowed
all

newspapers

was

of

stood

furniture

scene

near

him,

probably
betokened

seemed

as

if

manship
by himself, being of the rudest workchair had
his one
dried gourd, and
a

fashioned

lamp

articles

few

up

bespoke
dog, lay in all

lay on the bed, where


fingers. Everything around

The

set

for such

"

implements

crucifix

little wooden

life ; but when

signs of

poor

interest,

intense

heavilyfrom

fall

lasted for
cries,which now
The
touching one.
a sad and

his

with

me

I tried these different

one,

the hand

saw

to watch

dog appeared

poor

one

as,

To

the

low

beard
a

I struck

articles of furniture

several

time

within.

dark

was

lighted a

contained
than

more

all

; but

open

out
a

and

with

hatchet.

The

most

ing
strik-

printed paragraphs cut


magazines and nailed against the

number

of

107

DISCOVERY."

"THE

planking of the hut; and


history of the old miner,

seemed

these
so

far,

at

little
a
convey
the bent and

to

least,as

all, without
implied. They were
of newly
high-flown accounts
exception, exaggerated and
in the
of gold,
rich mines
discovered
some
"Placers,"
of
in the deep forests
dark
plains of the Ukraine, some
and
the far-away
in the interior of Africa
on
Mexico, some
of golden harvest, visions
Promises
of the Pacific.
shores
of gain
of wealth
great oceans
rollingin vast abundance,
before
the parched and
thirstinglips of toil and famine !
of fancy,
Little thought they who, half in the wantonness
seeds
these
colored
sowing in
they were
descriptions,what
! what
feverish
passions they were
a
rugged nature
many
and
lures to wile men
on
through
on,
engendering ! what
life

his

of

object

were

"

"

youth
enslave
If

manhood

and

age, with

one

terrible fascination

to

them
of

many

and

contained

these

of

interestingscraps

ture
adven-

and strange countries, others


enterprisein remote
were
merely dry and succinct notices of the discovery of gold
in particularplaces, announcements
which
nothing short of
innate devotion
to the one
theme
could
an
possibly have
and

dwelt

; and

upon

these, if

to

were

judge from

the situations

favored
the most
they occupied, were
paragraphs, and those
most
the daily food
with
frequently read over ; they were
he
which
fed his hope, through, doubtless, long years
of
toil.
It was
the oil which
suffering and
replenished the
the wick had burned
to the very
socket !
lamp when
How
could fancy the old Gambusino
he sat
before
one
as
his winter
fire,half dozing in the solitude of his uncompanionable
in
the
illusions with which
existence, revelling all
his mind
filled !
With
what
he
have
was
sympathy must
followed
his fellow-laborers
in every far-away quarter of the
their disappointments,how
exulted
globe ! how mourned
over

in their
the

only links

spoke
As

to

worn

and

him

I went

poverty
to

successes

and

very

little scraps
to the world

These

that tied him


his

of

about

own

privation struck

patches of

canvas;

"

sentences

they

were

all that

were

species !

the hut, the

tatters, had

and

me

been
the

of

appearance
on

every
mended
tools

with

side

by

the

greatest

his

clothing,

skins

which

of

he

beasts
worked

108

OF

CONFESSIONS

marks

showed

of

the

into

astonishment,
"

proved

When

that

the spot

self
to him-

refresh

day broke, I walked


myself, aud found, to my

been

had

of

Placer

attested.

around

the remains

full of the melancholy

mind

sleep, my

air to

"he

how

others.

from

cool

at least so

repute,
framework

CREGAN.

repair that

rude

sufficed/'without aid
passed the uight without
picture before me.

forth

CON

great

once

The

ruined

furnaces
for
great massive
smelting; huge cradles, as they are called, for gold-sifting
;
of hollowed
trunks, for washing,
long troughs, formed

miners'

of

huts ; the

"

lay

scattered

what

all sides.

on

in which

condition

deserted

been

raised

in

the

to

Christian

grave.

the

to

Having
to

set

coffin.

work

toiled and

"

; and

that of Mammon

higher than

perform

There

timber

as

of

the

sion
impres-

chance,

had

with

and

led

me

dog, I

the
serve

the

outcast.

poor

should

that

in abundance,

in

bones,

I shared

something

fashion

was

mere

this

underneath

last offices to the

those

breakfast, which

to

labored.

"

crown

my

it had

his rest

to take

now

rotten

insignia of torture so
Catholic
the pincers, the
countries,
showed
where
of thorns,
Piety had

power,

to

eaten

was

old Gambusino's
poor
I could not divest my mind

some

spot

who

lay the

I resolved

that

him

save

altar beside

an

were

weary
year, he had
decorated
with those

seen

and

scourge,

all

now

showed

these

of

possessed,and the
proved how long

once

little cross,

frequently

they

by

where, for many


A

spot had

the

importance

number

The

as

old miner's

My labor, however, was only


in, so that I was
obliged to wait

tools sufficed for all I needed.

completed
for

as

morning

night closed

task.

finish my

to

by my exertions, I sleptsoundly, and never


till the bright sunbeams
pierced through the chinks
in amidst
its dusky atmosphere
log-hut,and streamed
I sat
in his coUin.
I arose,
and
placed the old man
Wearied

beside
not

it,and

I looked

that
help reflecting
his

from

lot in the
alone
How
me

as

fellows

in the world

pay

him

was

he had

even

was

of

this

than

/,

solitude

strange
to

than

the calm, cold

at

last

an

myself. If fate had


dreary region,he was
had

who

it, too, that

these

more

neither

it should

rites.

No,

no

home

have

; then

down

outcast

cast
not

nor

devolved

; this

of the

I could

features

been

not

awoke

could

his

more

family.
upon
be
not

110

I at

once

with

knew

be

to

peculiar oil

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

piece

the

of

CREGAN.

buffalo

Indians

hide, smeared

over

rotting or
decomposition. I drew forth my knife and ripped it open;
skin of undressed
buck
laid bare ; again
a strong
was
now
I applied my
knife vigorously to this, and
the sharp steel
as
ran
freely along, a glitteringheap of gold disclosed itself
before

rolled in

and

me,

I cannot

attempt

with

prevent

feet!
my
of that
the emotions

fragments

describe

to

to

use

to

bursting with delight, I


through the heaps of shining metal, many
than
closed
fist. I pulled off my
cap
my

as,

heart

ran

moment,

fingers
larger

my
them

of

filled it; I

and

that also
handkerchief, and in a few moments
my
crammed
stuffed
the treasure
was
pockets ; but
; I
my
I arose,
inexhaustible.
hastened
seemed
and
to
the hut

opened

for

the

the poor
bag in which
keep his chestnuts, and, oh, the terror that

the

With

sack,

leather

the

with
I

bags, which

meaning,

size

There

in

The

eight

of

unbounded

As

sat

amidst

the

opened

the

bags

came

upon
discovered

had

quickly
sums
placed

various

at

receipts

were

in

times

burning

of
iron

pincers, and
then,

were

night

Anticosti
and

the

the
had

the

had

did

for

the

seen

him,

that
as

the

terrible

haunted
be

the
cover.
disno

grass beneath
Aladdin
might

and

of

of

his

these

Don

large
Xafire

Crick

of

Black

the

tortures

agonies

tience,
impa-

of

deposits

hands

slow, lingering pains


visions

know

not

papers,

endured

steel, the

seen

bags, marked

Hijaros, banker, at Guajuaqualla, by Menelaus


the hidden
for which
treasures
Yes, these were
Boatswain

cious
pre-

never

another, in eager

filled with

one

and

his mine.

after

one

little

puzzle myself to
it seemed, needed

as

of

treasures

filled

soon

gems

the
explanation; there it lay glitteringupon
the morning sun, and
there I sat amidst
it,as
have

discover

several

these

which

truth, did

me

opals, sapphires,

color

and

were

good

wealth,

with

principally,with

of

nor,

also

to

over

should

supply

can

used

came

contained

enigmatical letters, of

some

other

gold, but

discovered

emeralds

rubies, some

lest any
fear alone

seen,

that

alone

equalled before.
with

be

speed

not

stones,
and

miner

canvas

lest I should

now,
me

great

of

the

the flesh

paralysis. Thefts,
dotage

straggledin

some

in

the

very

imaginary

conflict,and
!

might
acts

and

showed

had

had

stained
there

within

wealth
"

whispered,

luck

swelled

with

temples beat
brain
wealth

If my
fears were
a

wishes

with

more

and

buy

can

Horrible

fancies

seemed

vital

The

smite

to

the

of

infamy?
on

other ; and

into

what

foes

can

wage
attractive

its most

delusions

that

realities,beckoned

here.

Nemesis

vengeance,
there !
May I

crime

side, all my

one

world, with

very
touch

"

unknown

an

it ; and

the

question, "Dare

themselves

convert

of

of

face ; my
heart
my
; the arteries of my

fascinations, all the

pleasures, its thousand

gold

that

the

terrible conflict !

doubt

blood

feeling of superstitionthat
with gain so bought !
The

deeds

on

and

conflict,in which

its emotions

arranged

marshalled

be

drops down

this

associated

so

Violence

not

taken

or

"

force

go

with

canvassed

as

with

the gems
were
Some
of
worn.

ornaments,

strange

could

throbbed

and

could

in great

perspirationrolled

from

terrible

What

been

swords.

or

me

warred

No

had

treasure

of

Many

extracted

all,there

cealment
con-

thought by

all this

blood

of

act
I

as

me

amassed

they

daggers

them
arose

thirst for

been

that

been

hilts of

the

and

assassination!

and

the emeralds
from

have

"

fancied

some

through

ran

crime

of

must

nay,
of murder

in

ground

chill

deeds

"

richlyset,

now

sudden

horrible

what

the

patted

Ill

DISCOVERY."

"THE

in

have
to
never
unexpiated, menaced
preside in a court where the evidence is so stronglyopposed,
where
the facts are so equally balanced
!
instant,
If, at one
I beheld
millionnaire, launching forth
myself the gorgeous
into the wide ocean
of unexplored enjoyment, at the next
I
and
saw
myself crawling upon the earth, maimed
crippled
like the

old

negro
mothers

widowed
fathers

tracking

verdict

my

in at
and

gave
than
"the

solution.
these

Church

"It

treasures
cannot

in my

decided

turn

were

one

of

an

went!

witness
to the

the

tell what

cannot
have

brought

appeared in the

case.

of

ruined

of

curses

might

cries

This

court

no

was

less

that
testimony gently insinuated
it was
not yet without
a
difficulty,

odor

purify them.

; the

conscience

Con," whispered she,

is true, Master
have

me

upon
ears

new

Church," whose

if the matter

curse

wherever

me

suddenly

most

ringing

empanelled

poor

last, but

slave ;

of
A

rapine ; but
silver lamp

let

us

to the

see

"

that
if the

Virgin can

112

CONFESSIONS

throw

lustre

and

hands, will do

pious

saltest

the

have

cover

from

much

to

loved

the

gold

light.'

small

great many

a
a

'

not

sins,

offered

censer,

the pungency

correct

; endow

nunnery,
let
it be a
ladies,

in hair-cloth

investment

an

rises

CREGAN.

of

by
even

tears."

chapel, Con
shutting up young

Build
like

that

CON

that

petticoatcan

incense

the

deeds

upon

embroidered

An

OF

shirts

"

"

and

or, if you

don't

"

make
monkery;
cord
girdles; buy

in the

shares

grand Purgatory scheme, and take out "next


world scrip,"in the shape of masses,
jubilees,and novenas.
You
can
keep a bishop, without feelingthe cost, and have a
whole candle manufactory perpetuallyat the service of " Our
waxLady," without being obliged to curtail one of your own
did this bright thought give to all
a revulsion
lights. What
my previousdoubtings ! not only satisfyingmy scrupleshere,
associations
for hereafter.
but suggesting very comfortable
"hedging
By this proceeding, Con, thought I, you are
against hereafter ; you may be a Sardanapalus while you
live,and a saint after death : it 's betting upon the " double
"

favor.
in your
say, for the sake of my credit, that
I determined
thing handsomely."

event," with
I must
"do

the

all the

odds

than
virgin should not be seen
be discovered
could
Cregau
"

him

in the

that

would

Neither
my patron, at any cost.
: he should
old miner in my pious offerings

for him

silver

for

pickaxe

it.

(and

that

what

In
can

full twelvemonth

to any

of the calendar

word, there
it

that the Church

to

was

that

not?)
should

consent

come,

who

nothing

I would

if

engage
into
to take me

to

finer
Saint

adopt

forget the
masses

I 'd offer

deign

that money

not

'd

have

and

would

a
"

catalogue, I

as

poor
said

so

mine, and

I resolved

to

cept
ac-

could

do

perform,
partnership.
to

exposed to such a conflict of


discordant
thoughts. Plans of pleasures and pilgrimages;
cloth
visions of enjoyment warring with fancies of sackgorgeous
dinners, equipages, theatres,
and scourges
; sumptuous
festivities mingling with
fastings,processions,
balls, and
above
only a shade
and
mortifications, made
up a chaos
Never

was

poor

head

downright insanity.
late in
it was
The
on, and
day wore
of the poor
Gambusino,
bethought me

the

afternoon

beside

whose

ere

open

I still sat, lost in

grave
rich

his

I hoisted

I, as

this

I said

As

be borne
I

"

in

fellow

noble

to

in such

poverty

own

am

at

but

we

the earth,

upon

; for

affliction !

rich

in the grave.

I threw

man

wealth

to

recur

difficult for him

How

his

natural

fine

reluctance

believe

to

dog is
enough

very

had

!
pauper
and very
These

How

urally
nat-

for

cure

that

every
is not

gold
heed

more

condition,

of my

of

"

obtrude

he

himself

felt
on

distinguished by my
inferior

animal

distinguishbetween

to

no

shall

you

which,

himself

respect

to

how

notice,

my

the

"

totallyunconscious.
behaved, thought I, had he been

he

sudden

What

the

as

altered

my
showed

he
familiarity,

had
differently

How

by

he noticed

than

consolation

man

ing
lay crouchrending
piteousand heart-

most

sovereign remedy for all disorders !


As
for the dog, poor
brute ! he took

by

he

"
said I, patting him,
up, poor fellow !
gold collar and a clasp of real emerald."

does

"

the poor dog


of my magnanimity,

sorrow

the

"

say !
did not

I must

Cheer

have

uttering cries

shovelful

each

at

his

poor

equals !

were

that

"

notion

exalted

same

entirelyengrossed by

was

"

the

little

; you

carrying a

me,

if

of you, Con,
It 's very handsome
whispered I to myself ; but, somehow,

take

"

"

to

got

"

might envy, and yet look


miner's body to the grave just as

appear

have

you

grave by a millionnaire !
it
there was
a
tinge of

the

emperor

old

"

said

notion, as though inferring,"See


! with gold and
such as an
gems

the
I

shoulder,

my
died
to

shame

self-commendation
what

who

one

thought you would

on

"

fellow!

"Poor

speculation.

coffin

pall-bearerfor

113

DISCOVERY."

"THE

his
the

me

for
;

favor

me

how

what

honored

! It is

plain

perceptions are
man

not

of wealth

and

the

reflections

task, after which

my

off, and

similar

deposited them

engaged me while I completed


carried my
precious burdens

within

the

hut.

By

this time

was

the fragments that


very hungry, but had nothing to eat save
remained
from my breakfast,
for one
a singularmeal
who,
in a fitting
place,could have dined sumptuously and off vessels
"

of

gold

and

however, and
wine, sat down
rock, to think
VOL.

II.

"

silver !

I had

the

appetiteof a
eat heartily; and
then, taking my
beside a little spring that issued
over

my

future,

poor

man,

gourd
from

of

the

U4

CONFESSIONS

OF

CREQAN.

CON

not wanting in hours of pleasure


Perhaps my whole life
and enjoyment
never
presented anything so trulydelightful
that evening.
:is
of gratification
which I had dreamed
The season
of, sighed,
"

"

to be mine.
I was
at last to
panted, and prayed for, was now
"
wealth
be a
and
so
far, at Least,as immense
gentleman,"
for spending it could make
taste
But
a
me.
very decided
asked
were
these, I flatteringly
myself, all my qualifications?
"

Was

become
with

expert shot,

an

skill upon

some

in

contend

not

of three

master

not

excellent

an

the

required, with any?


something of the world and

were

little

more

fortune
Of
but

of

both

travelled

not

ways?

usual

was

Ay,

for

the

unfair

not

these

And

me.

I put out

one

of court

knew

for

such

nothing,
"

for me,

had

dealt

must

be

My
should

plans
find

as

content

was

I owned

me;

for

hundred

lack

of

the

of
the

on

with

pretty chances

very

asked

I ask

now

sanguine spiritswould

and

activity,
and

marry,

seen

and

gentlemen

young

personal advantages it might not become


the truth requires me
to say that Nature

Less

not

of

handsomely by

As

than

Could

strength and

its

mandolin?

the

where

Had

Had

rider, a graceful dancer,

guitar and

exercises

most

Languages?

four

or

to

to

dealt

fair

reader,

woo

sighed

have

speak

had

occasion,

which

perhaps

me

"

very
"

"Are

fortune

"

for more,

I
value
and
use
gifts,of whose
birth,family influence, and the like.
with the " hand
of trumps" Fate
it
frankly that if I lost the game,

skill,and

not

of

luck.

at Guajuaqualla, I
simple. Once
very
where Donna
Maria
de los Dolores
lived, and

were

out

then, providing myself with a suitable equipage and


vants,
serI should
in all form,
proceed to pay my addresses
real rank
and
affectingto have resumed
station, from
my
drawn
which, on our first acquaintance, a passing caprice had withI

anticipated,of course, very shrewd


inquiries
"
to my
native wit
as
family and fortune ; but I trusted to
to satisfy these, secretlyresolving at the time
that I would
avoid lying for the future.
t\ propos
And
of this propensity,
I had never
from
that vagrant impulse
indulged in it, save
that tempts a child to scamper
the flower-platof a
over
the great charm
garden, instead of keeping to the gravel,
me.

"

"

"THE

being found in the secret


ye dear, good, excellent
correct, who

wring

can

them

who

off;

think

it "was

that
souls

of

forgive the

semi-barbarism
"fun"

regard

to

leads

to

us

When

"lied,"

atrociously,

more

"

than

were

stupid

among

of
group
for such
And

I
the

to

dear, what
when

and

he

rich

leads

by

out

gances
extrava-

own

my

lied

ever

inventions

my

man

abandon

to

the
rich

Jack

honest

he would

' '

"

prize.

going

sigh

seriously,

great "Pinto"
I threw

responsibilitiesof

swore

live

the

a
flingshis guinea among
enjoy the squabbling and contending

as

was

and

humbug"

life"

amused

more

unlooked-for

an

the

listeners.

beggars, to

now

suited

folk

"take

"

to

very honey of existence, and


every flower in life's path !

was

my

wish

not

Celtic tastes, which

our

only

as

"

always

lonely spots,

neither

oh,

the

as

it from

extract

of

And,
are

and

in

gas-lamps

see

stupid, nor
us

instincts
doors

on

breaking them; who


mistify the vain; who

never

wrong."

whose

knockers

pass

115

DISCOVERY."

cleanly."
myself

man's

Falstaff

and

as

one

un-

station !
have

must

sack

eschew

addressed

habit,

low

Oh,

heaved

company,

practicallyto my work, and,


to carry the
seeing that it would be quite impossible for me
to Guajuaqualla, I replaced the
great bulk of my treasure
of the larger bags of
canvas
sack, with the gold and some
in the ground, and
the gems,
tained
merely took those that connow

the

more

securities,and

paper

emeralds, along with

of

some

the

me.

for a
parting with my wealth, even
confess
poignant.
feelingswere
very
my

short

In

beset

me,

and

I turned
if

lay, wondering
concealed

plausible; and

there

fertile and

saw

nothing

silver,molten
pure

gold

sapphires

; the

and

was

pleasing tract,
of it.

silver,to
stars

me

which

diamonds

"

studded

; the

with

way,

believe, I say

dewdrops

and

heart

as

be !
midst

; for I own

I walked

seemed

apples of
morning sky seemed

fruit-trees
the

it
the

safe

are

along which

; the

mark

to

permitted to
journeyed lay in the

hearts

river

The

my

on

fears

which

looked

All, however,

along which

thousand

indication

any

rich men's

absence,

the spot beneath

survey

proceeded

as, I suppose,
easy
I believe the road
of

to

below.

riches

valuable

more

on

bore

the

grass

were

116

CONFESSIONS

OF

opals all. If I sat down to


of my
precious bags from
contained, and

it

treasures

CON

CREGAN.

myself, 1 instantlytook one


pocket, to gaze at the blight
my
feast my eyes with brilliancy.
rest

last I found

myself on the great high road, and, as the


three leagues
tres
leguas
sign-post told me, only
from
a
Guajuaqualla. For a few copper coins I obtained
seat upon
a
peasant's " carro," and journeyed along more
veyance
agreeably, secretlylaughing to myself at the strange conAt

"

"

"

The

its

old

and

fortunes."

his

lived

who

melons,
by sellingwaterin the city,and knew
of
most
gourds, and cucumbers
well-known
inhabitants.
It was, therefore,a good opportunity
I was
for me
to learn
something of those in whom

peasant

interested.
had

died

was

an

told

He

several

Guajuaqualla.
house

had

would

not

It

been
bear

was

said

close

ever

"

at

them.

son

be

the

the

great

in

ways

and

of

owners

of those

The

which
who

man

in

wealth

of

the
that

means

been, it

had

Indians

and

often

were

me

carried

richest

by

made

peasant told

Hijaros

Manuel

scrutiny. Large sums


his hands
by negroes

least, few

lived to claim

that his
to

Xafire

Don

that

accumulated
too

banker

reputed

was

alleged,lodged in
working at the mines, the
with,

but

ago,

was

away

man

that the

me

years
business, and

the

on

"Caesar

carried

that

"

made

large deposits
several

stories

suspicion; but although they certainly


to the
did make
an
impression upon me, I attributed much
to every
piece of local gossip, and
exaggeration so common
how
I hari seen
frequently
enough in the world to know
meets
successful
disparagement.
industry
in illustration

for

As

had

once

he had
the

of

this

Olarez, the old

told

that he

Don

Estaban

been

extremely rich, but that certain speculations


lost
into having proved unfortunate, he had

entered

greater part of his fortune,

and

man

lived

now

in

me

state

of

about
a
league from Guajuaqualla.
comparative retirement
it
had
not the depressing effect upou
This piece of news
me
might be supposed, since I augured that a rich son-in-lawwould
be less scrupulously interrogatedby the broken
chant
merI even
than
speculated on the
by the millionnaire.
I should
adopt to dazzle him by my splendor, and
manner
cold and
address the Fra
with what
cutting irony I would

Miguel, and

thank

him

for

the

considerate

kindness

with

118

OF

CONFESSIONS

half-breeds,
a

C REGAN.

old negro presentan


washing; there was
ing
lump of gold to St. Joseph, who, with a sly

at

massive

look, seemed

CON

promise not

St. Francis
forget the donor.
seen
himself,pick in hand, was
laboring at the head of a
sturdy gang of workmen, and angels of all sizes appeared
in gold-seeking,as though it were
to busy themselves
their
natural
pastime.
Upon several of the altars,pieces of solid gold and silver
lay, in a securitythat said much for the religiouszeal of the
inhabitants, while lamps of pure silver hung in a profusion
surrounded
on
by votive offeringsof the same
overy side,
such as shovels, barretas, picks, and
sieves.
Nor
metal,
did piety limit itself merely to incentives
well
to " stand
with the saints ;
terrible examples of the oppomost
some
site
line of conduct
were
conspicuously displayed. Pictures
of
catastrophes, by falling masses
representing dreadful
rock, irruptionsof torrents, and
down-pouring cataracts,
to

to

"

"

"

what

showed
"

fates

in

ever

were

forgot the Church."

And,

as

for

store

if to

those

who

heighten the effect,


sloping off" with a

"
jaguar was
in his mouth,
to be
miner
sure
a
respectable saint was
in the offing,wiping his eyes in compassion, but
detected
not stirring
a finger to his assistance.
that
these
I will not
specimens of pictorialpiety
say
induced
mind, but they
strong religiousfeeling to my
any
a
me
highly ; and although hungry from
certainly amused
long fast, I stopped full twenty times on my way to the

whenever

Posada
At

or

cayman

wonder

gaze and
the "Mono"
to

mistook

for

prejudicealways
a

very

historical

vouchsafes

sumptuous

little dark-visaged Jew


"

I hear," said

elegance,

"

them.

at

(the "Ape"),

certain

each,
"

on

have

the Chihuahua

I have

sent

seen

road?

first I

whom

to

for

I, arranging myself in an
Maestro,
I hear, Senhor

they

at

popular
cussed
having dis-

the landlord,

Pernambuco.

equipages have not arrived


great anxiety for their safety.
if

character

breakfast,
from

which

beast

tail,I put up, and

and

the Muleros

two

yet, and
Can

you

attitude

of

that

people

my

begin

learn

to

from

carriages,with

four

posing
im-

feel

any

o";

mules

"

just inquired,"said the Jew, with

sly, almost

impertinent leer, u

119

DISCOVERY."

"THE

his

and

Excellency's suite

have

been

not

seen."
"

of
provoking ! said I, impatiently. " This comes
which
indulging that capricious taste for adventure
always
mountains.
to a solitaryramble
inclines me
And
among
now,
without
here I am,
in
clothes, baggage, horses, servants,
of my
condition
is accusfact, with nothing that a person
tomed
How

"

"

Jew's

The

from

and,

look

Senhor

"

fooleries.

these

The

ragged clothes
he raves
flightwhen
with

bethought

stared

and

said I, with

indulge

in

world

severe

be

to

said,

shoes, takes

tattered

equipage
lesson

the

I
I

the

at

intonation,

vast

variety

"

of

namely,

to

once

lay
take

suffer

inn

an

on

by
upon
bis feet,
high

too

the mate

gave
back

of
what

care

the

my

Abraham,"

which

one

the

I
you say.
of which
the

some

is

of

in
indolently

"Son

caprices,
there

"

followers."

Jew.

calls follies ; but

inferior.

and

speech,
sumed
first,as-

imposed

and

coolly

"

he

as

this
at

wore

enters

slow

permit myself,
the part of

old

too

am

Quebec, and

at

it

traveller who

of

of

me

transport ship
chair

which

insolence

open

Viajador,

expression during

malice

droll

of

air of almost

an

its

changed

face

him."

about

to have

never

slightestlibertyon

give you this piece of information


for your guidance, since it is possible that business
with the
Don
banker
Manuel
detain
few days in
Hijaros may
me
a
this place, and
I desire
that the lesson
be
lost upon
not
an

you."
The
ideal

stood, while

Jew
of

doubt

and

I delivered

embarrassment.

contrasted

with

pride, with

all the semblance

of
whose
"

error

this

see

; and

your
now

destitution

to

of

I cannot

poverty, and

of

insufferable

the calm

posure
com-

singularfeatures in one
might have suggested humility.
said

I have

people

afford

perfect
pretentious tone,
a

to him

business.
; my

The

words,

apparel, the air

embarrassment,"

neighborhood
and

ragged

confidence, seemed

apparent
I

the

these

may

I,

and

"

several

forgive your

visits to pay
arrive for a day

not

the

in
or

delay of waiting for them.


Can
tell if there
be anything suitable in the way
of
you
of rank
to
be had
here?
equipage for a man
Something
simple, of course, as befittingthe place, a plain carriage,
two;

"

120

CONFESSIONS

dores,

CON

CREGAN.

if

Andalusian, all the better ; two lazaI wish to avoid display


outriders, will be sutlicient,
as
mules,

four

with

OF

or

"

liveries aud

; the

equipment

be

plain also."
is at this moment,
"There
Sefihor, the open carriage of
of Guajuaqualla to be sold,
the late Gobernador
he had not
he was
called away
used it when
by death : that and his six
may

"

Andalusian, it is true, but of the black breed


at your
of the Habaunah,
now
are
Excellency'sdisposal."
"
the price," said I, not
And
seeming to notice the halfmules,

not

"

"

that curled

impertinent smile
thousand

"Three

his

he

lipas

Serihor,

crowns,

spoke.

less

"

than

half

their

cost."
"

said I, carelessly, if the carriageplease


trifle,"
"

mere

me."
"

Your

Excellency
the Jew

I followed

can
as

and, after passing across


whole
a
where, amidst
caleches,

and

carres,

of

was

silk.

dark

The

of

ruined

hospital of
stood

or

rich

color, with

late Gobernador

the

and

dilapidated

beautiful

most

London

some

chocolate

arms

beneath."

he led the way into the open " cour,"


it,we entered a spacious building,

wagons,

from

evidentlyimitated

it in the court

see

Parisian

britscka,

model.

It

liningsof pale-blue
were

to

have

been

not
begun when
painted on the doors, but fortunatelywere
he died, so
that the "carroza"
seemed in every respect

The
private one.
magnificent animals

Jew

in

The

top condition.

splendid and
If

"

your
said

you,"
they are

showed

next

of fifteen and
harness

the team

me

half hands

and

in

housings were

of

mules,

height,and
all equally

suitable.

Excellency
he, with

does

smile

deem

not

of

most

unworthy of
treacherous
meaning,
have myself advanced

certainlya great bargain. I


fifteen hundred
piastresupon them."
"I'll
take
them," said I, curtly;
"

them

"and

for

now

the

servants."
coachman

The

"

Excellency;
the sad

I;

event

Send

"

"

and

but

and
their

few

liveries

had

not

here

are

been

still,
your

ordered

when

occurred."

the first tailor in the


if there

here, let him

lacqueys

come

be

diamond

also."

place to

my
merchant

apartment,"
or

gem

said

valuer

' '

myself

am

dealer

in

precious stones,

Jew, with

replied the

121

DISCOVERY."

"THE

than

he

yet exhibited.

had

Come

"

with

then," said

me

I ;

for

"

less
about
valuable
trinkets
my
of taking money."
cumbrous
mode

with

re-entered
and

The

Jew's

that of the

eyes

in

and

them,

saw

lustre

into

turn

to

in

speedily
finger,

my

inferior

only
voice

to

tremulous

Excellency dispose

your

others

are

cash.

What

of

also, which

value

would

you

ring?"

this

hundred

Five

he

and

upon
breast.

my

with

said, "Will

determined
upon

lit up

in

least

landlord

ring

I, carelessly;"there

said

"Yes,"

"

were

he

eagerness
these?"

put

great size

as

gems

with

am

of

brooch

ruby

the

some

the

as

me,

chamber,

my
emerald

handsome

always carry

Leaving

into

sitting-room,I passed

the

with

of

air

submissive

more

lency,"
Excel-

your

Senhor, if it be reallyas

crowns,

as

pure

it seems."
"

be

valuation, friend," rejoined I,


a seller,in this city. That
gem

If that be your

purchaser,

six

not

piastres!

thousand

be laid to the

must

the

Six thousand

I had

names

"1

believe

smiling;
then

here

much

"

"the

is

and,

would
"

be

be
Were

where

in the
of
own

him
a

me

price

It

was

Meerun-ak-Roon

to

and

for

stood

poignard

The
;

from

regard for

any

from

fine,"
"

stone, which
my

pocket

the ornament
said

and,

the

only

the

of

Jew,

as

it not

were

cost

as

immense

an
a

he

dagger.
held

it

for the flaw,

"

the

flaw, friend," said I, "it

for

upwards

of

crown

Presburg.

took

light;

prize !

it not
it

the

ment
astonish-

him.

formed

is

Jew, whose

without

sum,

valuable

once

that

the

paid a trifle too much," said I,


But
Syracuse thought it dear!

more

had

echoed

at

saying, I

rare

royal

hurled

have
may
of
Prince

so

Dios

between

the

associations.

ak

Hadgid

"

the

at

much

emerald, which
"Ah,

Al

piastres!

stopped short
great

historical

of

of

something

sure,

cost

Matilda."

Empress

"

charge
Sultan

the present of the

be

To

I would

"

Hungary,

Emperor
his

of
in

eight
the

Joseph had

hands

would

hundred
'

years,
Schatzkammer

it mounted

it reached

still

the

"

"

'

in his

Caltons

of

L22

CONFESSIONS

Auersberg
by

and

wager,

And

"

then,

the value

at

six thousand

of

my own."
price would you

piastres,

into

came

what

at

CRKGAN.

CON

OF

it?"

dispose of

now

asked

he, timidly.
"
"

might have it for ten thousand," said I, calmly;


be twelve."
at large the price would
humble
in our
rest not
Excellency, such sums

friend

to the world

"Ah,

your
You
must

city!

Madrid

to

go

Grenada

or

for

like

wealth

that."
I

would

here

them

be

the

for

yet, Senhor, I would willinglybe


that gem," said he, as he stood, fascinated
five hundred

thousand

said

I have

"

he could

which

stone, from

the

of

the lustre

If six

"

"

piastres
"

to

ten

by

his eyes.

take

not

purchaser of

the

And

"

to sell

present;

sacrifice of them."

needless

myself

I will content

"

suspect,"said I, coolly.
with depositingthem with my banker
So

"

rupted
Israelite,"inter-

honest

friend, my

I.
but

"lam

man,

poor

hard-working

profitby
will

"

'

but

"Ah,

if

Judio

to make

twelve, and

say

'

'

silver," said

and

he ;

the

less,

doubloon

would

'

Senhor

ten."

it for

down

piastres counted

thousand

have

may
Alteza

piastres,

thousand

seven

the amount."

up

not

friend

your

then,

; say,

gling,
poor strugblest
gain the huma

"

if he but

content

"

mules

I will sell my

and

man,

his labor

Excellency,

your

but

eight! Eight

say

honest

the table in
upon
in his eyes
stood

tears

he

as

supplicated.
"

Be

it

so," said I,

reveal

ever

way,

any

this, or
is

there

but

"

should

no

manner

If it cost
you.
ruin ; for I refused
to
Seville,and he would

work

Jew

The
secrecy

of

you
of

speak

half

my

you
in
the transaction

of

evil aud

mischief

I will not

fortune, I will be

part with that


never
forgive

to the

same
me

if the

your

Primate

of

story should

his ears."

reach

was

me

Should

condition.

one

upon

; and

wished

false

principleas

Patriarchs
of

though each

lying, somehow
our

the

the thieves

was

seemed

we

coinage.

us

suppose
could
who

to

well

witness
aware

satisfied
we

not

by

acted

keep

his

oath

of

that

the other

the

exchange

on

the

their hands

same

out

of

other's

each

123

DISCOVERY."

"THE

well there

knew

pockets,although they

was

nothing there.

by which I
had
become
possessed of such wealth, he prudently thought
that he might reap more
profit by fallingin with my plans
than
by needlesslyscrutinizingmy character ; and, so far,
he judged wisely.
The
for the carriageI completed on the spot, and
contract
their liveries,
and
ordered
having engaged the servants
plain suits of brown, with gold tags, aiguilettes, I gave
directions for my
own
wearing apparel,in a styleof costly
Jew's

the

Whatever

suspicion of

the

means

"

"

magnificence that
all who

given by

I had

in the

garden

of

which, I

am

the rich

rustling sounds

and

the

soft, downy

smooth

turf.

seemed

to

sing

the flowers
felt

folk

the

whom

call

men

myself by

promenade

"

calm

odors

whole

too !

names

if my
that

assurance

luck ;
I

and

in ticular
parAnd
Cregan.

Con

call

would

good
passed ;

my
I

as

birds

very

creation, and

it called

as

the

rejoicingat

the

world

this

moment!

As

this

egotism

if it

not

was

self -content
the

rightdirection, and
"fickle"
in realitya
was

in the

bestowed

were

of

"

from

dinner,

of

by worse
purest philanthropy

spring

before

sweetest

ay, and

vanity ;
very

then

segment

in

to recreate

delicious

little paean

that

was

was

ecstasy with

in

with
be

occupations
only late in

heightened in its enjoyment by


of my
heavy silk robe-de-chambre,
velvet
tread of
slippers on the
my

was

put forth

myself

there

It

it

and

Alteza,"

"

These

me.

time

spare

the inn

free to own,

with

morning,

title of

the

in

me

contact

entire

the

that

the afternoon

in

came

occupied
walk

confirmed

goods

did
of

the

that

and
the
not

fortune

goddess

ing
discriminat-

most

deity!
There
rich

are

and

no

two

things

less

alike

than

only do all their thoughts,


in opposite channels, but their
run
feelings,and
judgments are different; and from the habit of presenting
at last to conform
particularaspects to the world, they come
to the impressions conceived
of them
by the public. The
man

eccentricities
of
"

Oh,

in creation

one
poor
affections

of wealth

poverty

are

glorious metal!

are

Not

exalted

degraded
"

into fashions,
to

exclaimed

downright
I,

as

"

the

liarities
pecu-

vices.

I walked

along,

124

CONFESSIONS

smooths

that

the

toughest venison
civil and

hear

il

announce

my

I suppose

many
dinner.

that the

meet

palate;

but

delicious.

import,
and

me,

which

what

and

; and

demands

low

of the
if

that

"

Mono"

was

before

presented

appeared to arise faint odors,


dishes whose
almost
garlicwould now

would,

at

in

this

flavor

the

day,

what
what

make,

served," said the host, as he


and
obsequious salutation,to

more
acceptance from my
sorry
the time
I speak of, it seemed

I luxuriated

I not

now,

can

There

from

associates

"

but
at

the

is

cookery

highest order,

it would

denoted

impossible!

with

advanced,

the rudest

contumely had
Posada,' had I only been

exact,

they are
Excellency'sdinner

life,that makes

aud

exterior

mean

that

His

very

'

of

renders

iusoleuce

here, in this poor

CREGAN.

road

and

savory,

humble
dress and
my
is there that I cannot
and

CON

roughest

compliant, what

with

met

OF

have

wine, every

of

put my

teeth

on

of the

not
me

now,

educated

actually
of

savory

suffocate

glass
edge.

of
If

not to let it
great, however, I took care
enjoyment was
too
demned
palpable; on the contrary, I criticised and conappear
of a spoilednature, and
with all the fastidiousness
to taste
ance
only condescended
anything on the perpetual assurwhat
his
different from
of the host that " though very
used
to, it was
exactly to the taste of the
Excellency was

my

late

'

Gobernador.'"

swellingimportance of wealth within me


cringing lacqueys and the obsequious host,

I felt all the


beheld

the

as

who

erect in my
; the very
presence
carry himself
nostrils.
The
to my
incense
seemed
meats
to send
up an
made
to
gentle wind that shook the orange-blossoms seemed

dared

never

bear

its odors

senses

; all Nature

appeared tributary

tion
only to think of it ! all this adulaless
for poor Con
Cregan, the convict's son ; the housewas
of Dublin
cabin-boy of the yacht ;
street-runner
; the
in Texas
; the
flunkey at Quebec ; the pennilesswanderer

wag
how
It
how

to my

And

enjoyment.

to my

the

to

of

the

What

in Mexico.

unexpected

revulsion, and

within me
deep consideration
change of condition,
support this unlooked-for

became

I should

without

Noria,"

and

sudden
now

"

betraying

matter

too

of

palpably

what

the

French

would

call

126

CONFESSIONS

illustrious

from

around

distinguished
Royal

in

I,

arm-chair.
I

Your

to

lamp,
odor,

addressed

when

conclude

convert

dying

became

where

had

an

the
fast

my
a

seous
nau-

actually

cup

sherbet

of

with

found

enjoying

more,

tan,
Sul-

the

Taramerkabund

of

been

myself

imagined

myself

for

upon

delicious

sleep

hours.

some

"Would

his
the

desire

Excellency

landlord,

as,

with

sign

of

branch

to

see

of

his

candles,

chamber?"
he

stood

doorway.
I

to

of
to

which

have

Khan

once

and

flame

and

must

the

conscious

cardinal.

even,

away,

con

taking

with

seat,"

adjunct

every

glimmering

old

faded

said

personage,

that

possibly

for

welcome,"

ambassador

great

hearthrug,

with

chibouk

did

gradually

"

mistook

heartily

so

life,"

my

Eminence

your

most

which,

East,
or

offer

was

"Your
of

clay
before

reverentially

distinguished

was

this,

the

the

is

proudest

that

that

celebrity.

or

the

sofa-cushion

some

as

After

asked

And

expiring

this

all

of

gathered

fashion

of

and

reputation,

in

was

group

bowing

decanter.
into

for

made

red

chamber

the

has

Excellency

empty

in

world

May

"

tinued

the

and

rising,

OREGAN.

CON

great

or

stood,

Highness

said

14

position

as

me,

OF

waved

my

hand

in

assent,

and

followed

him.

in

GUAJUAQUALLA."

"

HERE

is

sleep

to
crown

in

it, my

upon
of

satin

through

now,

whom,

would
negro

else

Nothing

seemed

have

the

as

the

the

hold

any

At

gilt

let
cover-

night
time

one

half-breed

for

with

but

upon

the

went

whole

alwa3rs

was

and

rattlesnake

alone, appeared

anxieties,

ceaseless

or

gold
number

lace, my

another,

at

struggle, it

to

deep

encounters.
;

jaguar

their

although

dreamed

and

world

hangings

with

Indian

the

and,

damask

gold,

an

; now,

wealth

and

being

my

be

whatever

or

Wealth,

with

edged

this

among

Now,

pillow fringed

strifes, combats,

of

enemy

my

with

bed

great

one

dream."

happy

"a

"

in

things

; but

buy

cannot

assuredly

few

are

money

thoughts.

my

guiding principle of

now
penalty, I was
torturing dreads,

the

learn

to

this

passion

begets.

before

and

and

me,

imposed.
security of
and

in

this end

To

visit
I

to

had
of

the

in, brought

streaming
state

daylight, however,

With

the

the

reminded

my

riches

most

my

banker,

Don

devised

myself

and
when

of

care

the

the

manner

carriage, and

bright

duties

to

lot

high

my

the

amount

proceed
in

sun,

happy

my

ascertain

resolved

; and

various
to

was

business-like

I ordered

and

glorious realityof
me

first

My

awoke,

the

proceeded

to

larly
regu-

matter.

pay

my

Xafire.

demolished
I drove

full
into

the

fiftyingenious
courtyard

tives
narra-

where

the

128

found

resided, and

banker
what

means
"

canied.
maxim

crash

the

and

so

to

at

each

I came,

and

formidable
event"

papers

was

my

old

six

palace when
jail-like
the

the door, and

up

single
by

one

mules, the cracking of whips,


head
to the
of the wheels, brought many
a

the old

of

windows

whence

possessed of the
circumstances
pilot the
saying, I entered.

rattliugtramp of my

The

I was,

became

Let

and,

CREGAN.

myself actuallywithout

of who

satisfactoryaccount

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

outriders

two

I descended.

side while

Sua

"

carriage drove

my
stood

in

Eccelenza

salute

"

Conde

El

through the arched hall and passages,


of
suit
threadbare
in
old servant
a tawdry
livery
as
an
Xafire's private apartment.
to Don
led the way
ber,
chamAfter a brief wait in a large but meagrely furnished
with a look of age
old man
a middle-aged one,
or
an
entered, and, with a profusion of ceremonial, in which he

Cregano"

de

resounded

"

"

assured

that

me

in fact

and

asses,

my
"lam

everything

to what

disposal,asked
of

his house, his wife, his oxen,


that

"

fortunate

his

mules, his

his," stood

was

he

event

owed

at

my
honor

the

visit.

Senhor
Xafire," said I, "of the
representative,
of Cregan and
Company, of which doubtless
great house
whose
of the icy seas,
ships walk the waters
you have heard,
and
lay at anchor amid the perfumes of the spice islands,
traffic unites two
and
whose
hemispheres."
iard,
"May they always be prosperous! said the politeSpanbowing.
"
They have hitherto enjoyed that blessing,"responded I,
the youngest member
of the
as
almost
thankfulby. "Even
of prosnothing to complain of on the score
firm, I have
perity."
the

"

smiled, took

snuff-box, all
gorgeous
brilliants,and, presenting it to the Spaniard,

with
glittering
laid it carelessly
on
splendor settle down
him

number
had

in the

that

of

fallen

forth

the table.

course

into

most

After

brief pause,

his heart, I

of

commercial

proceeded

our

hands,

upon
seeing that

many

to

inform

transactions

bills,receiptsfor deposits and


into

to let the

other
of

which

vast

securities,
we

had

of that
they bore the name
large sums,
most
respectablehouse, the Bank of Don Xafire, of Guajuabeen
would," I added, " have
dispersed
qualla. " These

advanced

"

the various

through
of

wish

and

house,
a

channels
to

partners

my

occasion

seventy millions

in the

with

relations

retained

have

been

the

the
your
until

papers

of

'

piastres,of which

of
la

de

Faros

it not

personallymaking
happy opportunity has arisen by our
Arguareche
great gold mines of the

proposition. This
recent
purchase of the
'

distinct

open

presented itself

the

for

trade, had

of

consequentlythey

favorable

129

GUAJUAQUALLA."

you

have

may

'

read

"

Habanas.'

our

negative; and I went on to state that,


mining operationsrequiringco-operation and assistance,

we

desired

He

bowed

humble

to

whose

Xafire,

with

relations

open

good fame

the

great house

well established

was

the

on

of

Don

'Change

Liverpool.

of

"

ask

may

securities

spoke of paper

"You

You

what

of

shall

are

such

like, Senhor;

"

Xafire," said I, opening

Don

them,

see

they

nature

and

magnificentpocket-book,and

very

presentingfirst a receipt,dated

of twelve
thousand
forty-eightyears back, for the sum
and
piastresin silver,and four bags, weighing two hundred
eighty pounds of gold dust, from the hands of Menelaus
Crick, of the mines of Hajoras, near
Guajuaqualla. The
Spaniard's dark cheek trembled, and a faint tinge of sickly
to replace the dusky olive of his tint,as
he
yellow seemed

said, "This
excellent
"

On

is but

house
the

waste

has

advanced

contrary,

have

full sum,
given
competent counsel."
battle

was

the tissue of inventions

myself. I saw
antagonist,and
equally ready

weary
in

quickly that
that for every
with another.

shadowy

to

word, in
"And
who

mix
those
this

lost

his

VOL.

II.

"

kind

the

reminds

and

if I

more

me,"
was

advised

we

thereto

by

begun.
by recapitulating

reader

as

in
was

garment,

a
a

rogue,

I
so

wrapped
was

my

possessed, he
stratagem
At
last,pushed hard by

subterfuges,I

menace,
of

name

days, of
way,

of

your

the combat

my

which,

evasions, equivocations, and


utter

trust

its credit."

on

much

being

should

Banquiero," responded I, "

opened, and

now

It is needless

nothing

Senhor

the

The

Senhor, and

paper,

the

in which
General

was

I
Santa

than

talismanic

said

"that

was

his

driven

to

trived
artfullycon-

Anna,

"

power.
of my suite
one
I,
taken
prisoner in the Rocky

130

CONFESSIONS

Mountains, committed
the

Dias's

letter

This

only

enclosed

was

written

were

sufficient to create
retired into

the

in

read

was

random

fancy

shot, but it
Senhora

The

centre.

very

envelope, in which a few


these, few as they were, were
emotion
in Don
Xafire,who

; but

to

letter,in which

an

considerable

window

CREGAN.

charge

my

bull's-eyethrough

struck

words

to

is interested."

the (leneral

CON

UF

and

re-read

them.

Another

shot, thought I, and he's disabled ! " It is needless,


then, Don Xafire, to prolong an interview which promises

little. I will therefore

so

will reach
"

I not

May

through

you

crave

said

he,

humbly.

may

be

other

leave ; my
next
cation
communimy
the General
Santa
Anna."

little time

"These

demands

for

consideration, Senhor?

"

weighty considerations;there

are

still heavier

in store

for

of

us

the

kind."

same
11

You

here

as

with

shall be
' "

right,Senhor; there are


properly opine.
you
very

are

claims,

; others

me

are

forthcoming, I

What

be

may

the

Without

"

the

at

sum

of

cases
menace

inquiry.

You

shot

in

was

the little

so

and
"

his face

Senhor

Come,

to deal

means

"

power,

receiptsshall
will not

them

I have

house

our

look

accuracy,
hundred

seven

claims

for

understand

me,

at

; but

"

all

said

his

thousand

the

ease.

I should

guess

piastres,

compensation

usual

I believe."

from

The

in

last

me.

Xafire," said I, with the air of


be

be all

due, without

of

Seflhor ?

amount,

minute

mercifully,and

will

of

still heavier

the very centre


of his magazine, and
felt it,as he fidgetedamong
his papers

usurer

concealed

Some

to
ineffectually,

of certain

and

you."

gross

pretending to
something like

this,exclusive

"

other

in the hands
assure

banker, trying,but very

sums

take

moderate

not

with

in your
for
demand

placed

any
the other

to

crush

you.
hands

interest

who

man

the victim
These

on

in his

bills

payment
whatever.

of

and
the
We

claims
at all.
The
transaction
speak of
shall be
between
strictlyin honor
nothing shall
us, and
ever
transpire to your disadvantage regarding it. Is this
enough?
mind
The
difficult one
was
a
struggle in the banker's
;
but after several
hours
in
the
over
passed
going
papers.
and
after much
I
discussion,
some
altercation,
gained the
"

"

I arose
day ; and when
pocket-book stuffed full

Cruz, and

Santa
and

possession of

hundred

fact, I

but

was

hands

what

at

in the

happy

too

about

twice

hundred

Xafire's

in Don

leave

to think

much

so

letters of

amounting to four
of three
remaining sum
to

my

Mexico,
credit,bonds,

whole

In

interest.

with

was

Pernambuco,

on

with

the Havannah,

piastres. The
thousand, I had agreed

leave, it

my

bills

of

thousand

reasonable

take

to

securities ; the

other

131

GUAJUAQUALLA."

of

became

the remainder.
I

presented

souvenir,
him

of

"

as

You

he

; and

we

about

of brothers
"

not, indeed, that

acquaintance

our

will

to

stay

he conducted
intend

"I

to

here ; "

return

and

with

so,

with

of

some

neighborhood," replied I,

your

parted

days with us here,


carriage.
my
visit to

short

ruby brooch, as
anything to remind

all the regrets

separate.

some

me

my
needed

with

Xafire

friend

my

"after

the

old

"

said

he,

'Placers'

in

hope?

which

to

mean

embrace, we parted.
visit to Don
Estaban, for I
last

was
My next care was to pay a
and
Maria
once
more,
burning with anxiety to see Donna
The
to open
campaign as a rich suitor for her hand.
my
fortunate
a
one, for
day chosen for this expedition seemed
led through a succession
of vineyards, was
the road, which
thronged with townspeople and peasants in gay holiday
direction
in the same
with
dresses, all wending their way

ourselves.

asked

the

reason,

fete,of the Virgin de los Dolores,


estate

had

of

Estaban.

Don

planned

that I
and

two

In

Estaban's

pilgrimage
to make

was

outriders

less than

heard

and

whose

bethought
to

that

me

it

chapel

was

"

carriage,with

the

was

the

on

of the time

shrine,

same

it in my

that

when

little suspecting
six mules

!
an

hour's

villa,built

drive

we

in

sight

of

Don

tain,
mounrichlywooded
and
certainlynot betraying any signs of the reduced
A
raced
series of gardens, all terfortune of which
I had heard.
fountains
in the mountain, lay in front, among
which
were
playing and jets d'eau springing. A small lake spread
in a
its calm surface beneath, reflectingthe whole
as
scene
mirror, with its featherypalm-trees and blossoming mimosas,
of visitors were
whose
hundreds
shade
beneath
loiteringor
on

the side of

came
a

132

OF

CONFESSIONS

sitting, while
broke

CON

tinkling sounds

the

C REGAN.

of

guitar and

the stillness.

It

was

s,trange and

curious

sight;

unbounded

to hold

seemed

with

for

while

pleasure

side, the procession

sway on every
priestsin rich vestments, the smoke

of

mandolin

of

the

censers,

red

the

throng, and the deep


blended
with the laughter of
of
sounds
and
the
I
children
light-heartedjoy.
merry
in the very nick of time," thought I, "to
have come
complete
and findingthat my carriagecould
this scene
of festivity
;
I descended,
slowly along the crowded
avenue,
only advance
and proceeded on
foot, merely attended
by two lacqueys to
acolytes, mingled
was
chanting of the liturgies
of

robes

"

"

make
A

for

way

me

in front.

livelycontroversy

among

ran

the spectators at each

side

evidentlythe subject, some


averring
there as a portion of the pageant, an
that I was
integral
feature in the procession; others, with equal discrimination,
a
politeattention on the part
insistingthat my presence was
of Our
Lady de " Los Dolores," who had sent an illustrious
the festival as her representative. On
to grace
personage
that my
amongst
agreed,
one
appearance
point all were

of

which

of

me,

was

"

them

was

favor

which

whole

life of devotion

to

could

me

this impression propagated


rapidly was
long approach through various groups and
people, and actually reached the villa itself long

and
so
repay;
that it sped up the

not

of

knots
before
Never

august person

my

was

to

diguity
"

better

arrived
at

hands

least
than

at the outer

such
those

court.

dignity as

mine

"

trusted
in-

Cacadores."
my
the crowds
each
on

of

"

swaggered along, pushing back


side as though it were
a
piofanationto press too closelyupon
if
as
me.
They flourished their great gold-headed canes
smash
the skulls of those whose
eager curiosity
they would
when
at length we
due to me
; and
outstepped the reverence
reached
the gates of the court-yard, they announced
my
I
it
of utterance
own
with a grandeur and pomp
that,
name
frankly, actually appalled myself! I had not, howrwr,
for such weaknesses, as, directlyin front
time given me
much
an
of the villa,at a table spread beneath
awning of blue silk,
whose
sat a goodly company,
splendor of dress and profu

They

sion of

jewellerybespoke

them

the

great guests

of

the

ocoa

134

CONFESSIONS

borhood

cried Don

Senhor

of

Brothers
affected

health, and

of the

Rio

'

left in
!

Bexar

at

exclaimed

San

"

for your
A

been

Joachim

the

in the next

It is

but

San

this

who

see

belong

him,

to

not

for

pay

can

masses

"had

world," said I,
solicitations

all your

added

Joachim,"

evidence

as

that

who,

same

he.

in

me

be ; the

if I did

exclaimed

for

as

I,

for

me

witness

"no

in court."
appear
joyment
Excellency in the perfectenwill not

your
faculties,"said

the

paid little attention

to

your
I

"

of

pleasure to

of

smile

in

Friar,

desertion."

knows

agreeable as

as

; and

be received
"

Ulloa

of

full

station

and

cold-hearted

soul's repose
very little care

to

can

the

our

signed
humanely conyou
which
establishment

need

as

mercy

rank

forget your

to

'

'

to

the

having resumed
afford

"

with

keeping

Fra Miguel, whom


very same,
of Bexar,
to the Lazaretto
an
little relation

as

'

del Crocodielo

safe

"

"

has

craving

rapture.
we

Mercy,

her

amazement.

The

"

Cregan

whom

same

OREGAN.

hand.

in

Estaban,

The

"

her

kiss

Is this the

"

CON

inquiring after

without

permission to

OF

Fra, with
his

deceitful

and

sneer,

turned

grateful acknowledgments
willinglyto Don Estaban, whose
that
all
bounds.
he
owed
his
He
vowed
were
beyond
daughter's life to my heroism, and that he and she, and all
that

theirs,

were

mine.

were

"Very gratifying tidings these," thought I, "for


who
of his debt,' and
only asks for an ' instalment
satisfied with the lady."
Maria

"

perfect

shall tell you


of
paroxysm

y Goloso

Cuesta

much

can

how

"

dressed

was

not

and,
hands
the

ere

I could

with

wildest

the

whom

table.

after

but

profusion

her

hair,but over
prevent it,fell

kisses, callingme
enthusiasm,

the

her
at

her
an

my
"

host

as

to

uncle
his

that

she

scattered,

dress, when

which

an

see

of diamonds

Not

where

to

feet and

in

aforesaid

the

down

time

be

Lopez

she arose,
covered

Salvador," in

emotion

will

conduct."
of

set

once

I had
a

noble

man

Estaban,

"Don

memory

I at

hastened

black, with

only through

forgetyour

retentive
"

Don

grateful emotion.

never

earing
hidalgo might prove,
or
a
godfather, I
daughter sat at the
in

herself," added

so

seemed

voice

my
of

most

135

"GUAJUAQUALLA."
seize

to
electrically

laid hold

now

by
grieve to

of

by

upon

were

say,
called the softer

for

company;

was

braced
hugged, kissed, and empeople, the large majority of whom,
the very hardest
specimens of what is

every
of

score

whole

the

limb, and

sex.

"V*

One

towards

to

company
the very

me,

yet,

body.

with

even

this, his head

like

looked

made

long

curls

moustachios
horn.
seemed
angry
The

His

him

I had

cordiality.

ever

beheld.

immense

an

far

was

flowing
nose

the slash

attempts

horrible ; for he

more

were

His

upon
curled

had
of

been
a

his

into

too

breadth

big

red color, amid

the

expressionof

these

wore

across

cutlass, the

for

the

cicatrix

florid hue

of the

benign

features

his

habits

of

the mouth
had

great wig, with


his

immense

series of circles,like

divided

He

at embellishment

shoulders, and
a

of cold

this air of dislike to

party-coloredwith
terrestrial globe, of which

representedthe equator.
even

look

huge sphericalmass,

debauch,

need

not

of stature, but of

exceedinglyshort

and

did

all this

opposite of

ugliestmortal

the

eyes

my

maintained

the

Lopez, who

Don

was

appear
was

of

member

distrust
This

"'U'

middle

ram's

by

what

remaining

of

an

countenance.
did

not

disgrace

136

It

their symmetry.
; the eyes

sneer

towards

how

I had

The

wretch

and

when

CREGAN.

between

cross

the

performed

scowl

former,

the

and

mouth

shame

and

him, and, in

trembling with
I

accents

emotion, Maria
never
forget, told

can

rescued

her in the passage


of the Crocodile
River.
scowled
more
darkly than before, as he listened,

she

ended, he

muttered

his
something between
marvellously like "Picaro!"
lips that sounded
so
grateful as one might
godfather scarcelyseems

bloated
"

brow

and

Blushing with
me

was

CON

the latter function-

assuming
led

OF

CONFESSIONS

Your

expect, Seiihora," said I.


"

Muerte

Whether

de Dios

"

the

it was

the

he burst

simple

out,

fact

so

"

fell
involuntarily

her husband."
ward,
for-

palpably brought

of its announcement,

manner

am

or

the terrible

curse

lips,I know not, but Donna


Maria
fell down
in a swoon.
I
Fainting, among
foreigners,
have
door to actuallydying ;
often found, is regarded next
A
of terror and
and so it was
here.
scene
dismay burst
forth that soon
converted
the festivity
into an uproar of wild
for aid, and dashed
confusion.
water
Every one screamed
in his neighbor'sface.
The few who
retained any presence
filled out large bumpers of wine, and drank
of mind
them
Maria
off.
recovered
to
was
Meanwhile, Donna
sufficiently
be conducted
into the house, whither
she was
followed
by
"
her
marido," Don Lopez, whose last look as he passed me
defiance.
of insulting
was
one
of order
The cause
having triumphed, as the newspapers
side by Don
led to one
Estaban, who in a few
say, I was
from the
that Don
told me
words
a specialenvoy
Lopez was
out to arrange
Court
some
of Madrid, come
disputed question
that

of
Grandee
besides

debt

from

between

d'Espana,

the

Golden

; his title of Donna

my

two

countries; that he

Fleece,
Maria's

and

husband

I don't

know

being more

was

what
than

was

consideration
with me.
other
up every
had been
performed that very morning. It
ceremony
into such confusion
I had thrown
the wedding breakfast

and

dismay.

enough
The

to

swallow

triumphal narrative of his daughter's


great elevation in rank, of the proud place she would occupy
in the proud court of the Escurial, her wealth,her splendor,
he felt
and her dignity,could not repress the fatherlysorrow
Don

Estaban,

in his

"

such

at

it been

"Had

into my

what

but

"

arms,

wealth

not

Oh, it is

"

anything
fortune.

self
he, throwing himhandsome, and well-born

not

was

said I,
Don

yield to

not

late, far

too

he say
his immense

cried

young,

Estaban?

that does

least, she

at

"

"

could

; nor

happy."

"

have

137

A."

Conde,"

you,

"

ALL

AQU

concerned

Seiihor

you,

you are, I had been


Is it too late, Don

as

JU

disproportionedunion

his son-in-law

of

GUA

Lopez, and

indifferent

"

late !

too

"

passionately.

regarding

cried

the

"

Maria

is

me."

father, wringing

his hands.
"Let
with

this Don

"

This

Maria

dull his

Let

also

me

him

speak

understand

comprehension."

be, Sefihor

cannot

herself.

be able to make

I may

Lopez.

however

reason,

with

speak

me

Caballero," said another

voice.

Miguel, who, having heard all that passed, now


joined the colloquy.
Nothing short of a dispensation from
the Holy See
annul
could
the marriage, and
Don
Lopez is
not
likely to ask for one."
I will not suffer it,"cried I, in desperation. "I would
rather carry her away
tion."
by force than permit such a desecraIt

Fra

was

"

"

Virgin, Seiihor," cried Don


"
Don
Estaban.
Lopez is captain of the Alguazils of the
Guard, and a Grand
Inquisitor."
that in Mexico?
What
said I, boldly.
signifies
"More
think
than
for, Sefihor," whispered Fra
you
"
We
have
not
ceased
be
to
Miguel.
good Catholics,
although we are no longer subjects of Old Spain." There
"Hush!

for

love

the

of

the

"

"

was

air of

an

that

spoken

made

in

menace

the

me

will

crowns

buy

these

way

feel very
ill at
and, drawing the Friar to

however,
many

cool

words

ease.

were

rallied,

soon

side, said,

one

candelabrum

of

worthy

"How

your

chapel?"
looked

He

features
"The

fixedlyfor
a

los

de

petticoat?

she
"

not

asked

character
Dolores

said he, with

Conde,"

Would

balked.

me

assumed

Virgin

Sefihor
"

at

few

seconds, and

of

almost

is too
a

comic

cunning.

simple for such

luxuries,

sly drollery.

condescend

I, with

his shrewd

the easy

to

wear
assurance

few
of

gems
one

not

in her
to be

138
"

an

CONFESSIONS

She

pleasure in
hypocriticalcasting down
Would

"

"

1,

s.ii 1
to

has

to

she

not

accept

dry

her

tears?

the

possess

vanities,"said the Fra, with

such

no

his eyes.
embroidered

of
of

CREGAN.

CON

OF

an

known

I have

handkerchief,'*
of

extraordinary powers

most

this pattern

of

one

consolation;"

amount,
spoke I drew forth a bank-note of some
his knuckles.
and
gently drew it across
A
his frame, and a short, convulsive
shook
slight tremor
I had
motion
was
"galvanized;"
perceptiblein the hand
and

as

but

in

an

instant, with

voice, he said,
Sefihor, but our

his habitual

smile

and

mellow

piet}Twill bring a blessing upon you,


shrine
is unused
to such
princely

Your

"

calm

poor

donations."
"Confound
"

what

the

is

time, "the
say of
devout

at?

he

business-like

bleed

Take

as

Friar

his loose

said,

needs

be

excellent

many

the

deposited
garment,

I too

and

present in

and

number, who
their

that

and

to lose

is, all that you

remember

your prayers

to

afford

not

the
among
charity,for whom

this,and

return

he

hearts

who

gave

wishes."

good

inscrutable

some

then, drawing himself

fold

proudly up,

is it?"

what

"Well, now

"Am

could

doubtless

be, and
must

myself;
I, assuming the

said

who

man

objects of

in vain.

"

here, yourself doubtless

men

it, only asks


of

of

may
there

but

muttered

hypocrite,"
Fra
Miguel,"

Virgin

her;

The

"

manner

numberless

see

old

late?"

asked

I, with

the

same

purpose-like

tone.

"Of

course

"

"

and

signed

are

You

have

None

of

is

ceremony

witnessed.

consolation

no
an

the

In

finished,the
hour

an

they

tracts
con-

will be

to the Havannah."

their road

on

away

are;

you

to offer

me,

"

earthly character," said he,

no

with

hope?

"

half-closed

eye.
"

hypocrisy ! cried I, in a rage.


"
be profane," said he, calmly.
What
I have
Don't
Heaven
is true.
will some
he
day take Don Lopez,
what
good for this wicked world ; and then, who knows
"

Confound

your

said

"

"

become

may

"

happen ?
This

is too

was
a

but

widow

sorry
;

comfort, waiting for

but, alas,

I had

no

better !

the

bride

Besides

to

it had

"

cost
the

heavy sum
highly.

me
more

If

anxieties

139

GUAJUAQUALLA."

obtain, and

to

accordingly

prized it

apparently Don Lopez's mind


in a state
of
not
stormed
and
was
perfect serenity. He
raved
at everybody and
everything. He saw, or, what was
thing, he fancied he saw, a plot in the
pretty much the same
he would
whole
of
business, and swore
bring the vengeance
the Holy Office upon
in it.
In
this
everybody concerned
mind
blessed
of
the departure of the newly wedded
frame
pah* took place in spite of all my entreaties ; Don
Lopez
my

drove
was

the

hand
I

carriage.
If

some

majority

anything

but

festivities

bride,

young

waving
looked,

the

and

she

"

felt

of

number

short

days

of

of

!
the

large

and
differently,

very

who

one

her

window

pity me,

to

Heaven

had

bore

marred

the

could

only tell by
eating, dancing, singing, and

"

the

"

the

gone

was

friendly feelingsto
cut

from

enough

company

and

the last I beheld

"

handkerchief

kind-hearted

were

of

what

his

with

away
white

acute,

were

merriment.
old

The

averring

ladies

that

with
his

of

well-bred

no

marriage.
the
passion when
a

would

man

It

ladies,

the younger

and
heroism
my
when
I tried my
to

generous

others

their

have

quite

was

comments,

thought

time

six

were

few

condoled

constancy, and
my
luck next, fortune
Estaban

Don

me.

of interfering

enough

talk

to

eight

or

good-nature

; but

that he entertained

it sat
a

ill upon

with

threw

months

evinced
the

Even

him, and
of

out

appeared

and

great mistrust

praised

me,

sly hints
might possibly be

himself

sincerelywith my sorrow,
of gratitudefor the past.

sense

in

married

Of

peculiarlysevere

were

the

Fra
it

to

more

thize
sympawarmest

tried

was

that

little

to

easy

see

me.

experience of what I suffered in these few


far more
are
days, I am decidedly of opinion that rich men
and
reverses
impatient under
disappointments than poor
From

ones

the brief

It

was

marvellous

change

earlier years, it is unnecessary


not
passed in the lap of that
"

affluence

more

"

and

yet with

fascinating future,

for

one

like

remind

the

comfortable

wet

to

me,

whose

reader,
nurse

were

called

all this brilliant present and


at

the

very

first instance

of

still
an

140

OF

CONFESSIONS

oppositionto
have

should

my
been

used

to

feeding
moment

in

in which

offered
him

misled

had

I stirred,and

whenever

darning, patching,
covered

dozen

reveal

my

my
and

me

heart

of

hold

he

was

web

whole

time

piecing

hear

the

frail

the

all the

of fiction

tissue

it tore

that

spent,

was

told

avail, simply

no

thin

so

of

story.

it were,

as

with

garment

force

mere

myself.

had

portion
applause before

the world

that

to retire behind

the

and

scenes

and

Another,

imaginary rank,

My

me.

the

from

had,

station
be

felt that

ingenious

feeling, too, influenced

to
grown
with such

were

The

and

Estaban,

life.

I have

to
day I jumped up, determined
history; but as regularlydid a sentiment
back, and a dread of old Fra Miguel's
me

leer, should

birth, and

anything

could

me

the

open

every

humble

malicious

to

was

to leave

me

keep

to

Don

with

next

nakedness.

my

times

of false shame

my

enveloped myself

strange

suffer

not

greatest relief

story of my

he

which

the

was
presence
days at the villa.

several

candid

be

which

Fra's

the

the

been

have

consolations

which

the loss

mine, would

with

persuaded myself to
him
frankly the true

in

I went

so

impossible.
of his daughter

now

grief for

regret, and

my

It would

because

were

me

I passed
conciliatory,

but

fancies

although the place itself served

of

wound

ingratitude,

my

of love ; and

score

hundred

thought told
divided

; and

him

with

mind

my
of

manner

for

house,

Estaban, whose

Don

the

to

myself

morose.

where
Donna
Maria
visiting each room
sit,reading her books, gazing at her picture,and

the

about

with

angry

that I set it all down

but

and
sad, dispirited,

will,I grew
very

CREGAN.

C()N

of

repetition,
played the part

I could

not

find in

the humble

resume

real condition.
my
By way of distractingmy gloomy thoughts, I made little
I
of which
in the surrounding country, in one
excursions

dress

of

contrived

to

which

treasure

considerable
a

size and

while

revisit

the

I had
than

the

"placer,"

left behind
had

at

and

me.

all the
carry away
This was
much
more

first believed, the

beauty far beyond


gold, in actual coined

any

I had

money,

gems

ever

being of
before

seen

amounted

to

large

sum.

Affecting to

have

changed

my

originalintention

of invest-

142

CONFESSIONS

myself
an

"

take

Don

I should

in

fresh

bouquet

days

at

plants,

moss-rose

morning

every

his

pictured

fair wife's

sea

What

on

not

agonies

inflict upon
the old Castilian ! what
I not offer up to the Donna
! I had

I not

of

store

as

my
appearance
devised
should
artfully

some

delicate flatteries should


laid

in

first make

which

appearance
until we
were

place
jealousy should

of

CREGAN.

speculationsdid I revel
Lopez's ineffectual rage, and

satisfaction, when
deck,

CON

wonderful

What
to

OF

and

present her

to

then

I would

with

serenade

the very window


of her cabin.
So
night beneath
faction
satisperfectlyhad I arranged all these details to my own
that the voyage
a
mere
began to appear
pleasure
excursion, every portion of whose
enjoyment originatedwith
blanks
and
and
all whose
their
disappointments owed
me,
Lopez ; so that, following up these selfpaternity to Don
convictions
in my
usual
created
I firmly
sanguine manner,
would
either go
persuaded myself that the worthy husband
before we
landed
at Malaga.
mad
Let
or
jump overboard
of supposing that hatred
fall into the error
not the reader
to
Don
far from
it ;
Lopez was
uppermost in my thoughts,
in heaven
I wished
him
every hour of the twenty-four,and
would
willinglyhave devoted one-half of my fortune to make
her

each

"

in the

saint of him

world, rather

next

than

make

martyr

in this.
I

walking
pleasantly on

little eminence,
and
the
saw

'

The

"For

of

With

sight of

Cadiz,"

"

said he,

land

bound?"

is she

the

ting
garden, chat-

ascending

on

It

sea.

said

"

has

stand

got

was

calm

out

fair

to

sea.

wind, and

by daybreak."
asked
I, carelessly.
"she

he;

into

came

already off again."


I remarked,
despatches, perhaps?

morning, and

port only this

is

"

with

the

same

of indifference.

"No,
the

of

of the tall cliffs and

Moschetta,'

"Whither

tone

banker's

my

topics,when,

in view

came

we

the shadow

will be out

"

indifferent

in

lovelyevening, a very lightlaud breeze was just rippling


of the bay, fringingthe blue with white, when
waters
we
of a small sloop of war
from
the graceful spars
emerge

beneath
"

evening

one

was

Senhor;

she

came

Spanish ambassador,

to
back

convey
to

Don

Madrid."

Lopez y Geloso,

he

is

"And

embarked

He

suite," said

about

Overwhelmed

seat, my

upon

dearest

my

plans, I

to all my

death-blow

could

bride

at

once

speak, but

sat

gave

not

and
not

the
down

carried all

which

the vessel

fixed upon

gaze

his

evidently was

guest's sanity.
by these tidings, which

of his

quite sure

with

ago,
banker, who

I, in

"

too?

hour

an

astonished

the

Is she

"

screamed

now?"

her

of

of terror.

perfectparoxysm
"

board

on

143

GUAJUAQUALLA."

"

hopes.

Excellency before he
sailed ?
said the banker, timidly,after waiting a long time
in the expectation that I would
speak.
"
Most
anxiously did I desire it," said I, shrouding my
desired

probably

You

"

his

to

see

of

important

"

under

sorrow

"What

have

missed

would

have

"You

and

are

So

him

likelihood,had

he

that

Oh,
it

Is

idea

sloop
would

"

late?

You

may
that the

"What

"

Of course,

arrive

in

in the land

entertain
same

too

Europe,

favorable

far
to

mean.

mischance

is this !

freshening,

the

the horizon

; to overtake

her

"

say that the guarantee

late

the

I, the

beyond
this

would

to

country you

think

to be

of

it

worried

present it is

Senhor

Conde,

"

when

eyes ?

pursuit.

might

have

the

been,

banker,

now," said I, rather

with
too

of

cried

the

mystification.

late; but when


you
holds

your natural influence


hope that you will regard
"

confidentlyas

more

the chance

this service !

us

where
the

out
I, with-

is

breeze

it," said

began

for

you

claimed
ex-

"

done

for I

to.

guarantee,"

could

words

unhappy

an

the

And

benefactor

Well, it is

captiously;
"

rely upon
ship was

you
enthusiasm.

sententiously,

excitement.

the

what

Alas!

accepted ?

Senhor, had
with

Dios,

impossible

been

saw

of what

already sinking beyond

be

have
"

is

de

too

yet

head

accepted the guarantee," echoed

have

Madre

him, he

seen

you

accepted the

have

should

you

he alluded

caring what

would

the remotest
"

all

In

banker, with increased

would

He

"

exclaimed

guessing nor

the

he, "that

misfortune,"
!

solicitude.

state

agreed to our terms."


right," said I, shaking my

neither

"

affectation

an

our

are

once

sway,
case

may
with

you
more
we

the

144

Yes, yes," said I, with

opinions."
subject of

1)0 change my
"

Upon

the

CUEGAN.

impatience,

the

if I

"

originalloan

see

no

reason

there

can

be

no

SeiLhor Conde."

doubt,

Perhaps not," said


decline entering upon.
discussion

You

diplomatic reserve
importunity,and

but
will

these

questions I must
yourself perceive that any
are

be inconvenient

would

of them

"

I;

""

The

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

of this

and

indiscreet."

checked

answer

the warmth

bashfullywithdrew, leaving me to
consideration of my own
the undisturbed
thoughts.
I sat tillit was
midnight, gazing on the sea,
already near
to the track
by which the vessel had
eyes still turned
my
to retire,when, to my
ment,
amazedisappeared, and at last rose
friend the banker, accompanied by
I perceived my
another
approaching towards me.
person,
"
Senhor Conde," said he, in a mysteriouswhisper, " this
with
these
and
is his Excellency the Governor
words,
;
he retired,leaving me
of awe,
uttered in all the reverence
whose
face to face with a tall,dignified-looking
personage,
of his

he

"

figurewas

in the folds of

concealed

his rank

politenessof

formal

In all the

great cloak.

and

country, the

took
his place
be seated, and
begged I would
of the richest
the banker, one
beside me.
He explained how
him
had informed
in the Havannah,
and most
respected men
hap
of my gracious intentions
respecting them, and the sad misby which my mediation was foiled. He entered at length
into the questionof the debt, and all its financial difficulties,
had they been far less intricate and complicated,
which, even
metical.
had the bump arithnever
would
have puzzled a head which
his way
How
he himself saw
through the labyrinth,

Governor

"

I know

; but

not

would

rather

have

farther,such

sum

of

sum

been

paid

it

myself

inextricable

one,

vow

investigateit any
complications,doubles,

than

of

mass

moderate

difficulties did it involve.

and
"

an

the

had

perceive,"said he, at the close of a formidablo


no
of figures," that these eighteen millions made
part
in fact, the first deposit of what is
the old loan, but were,
Thus, you

called
that

the
name,

Poyais

'

Cuba
which

debt

'

that

it

ever

"

You

understand

have

should

properly belonged

more

three-and-a-half

not

to

me?

the
"

bad

original

"

11

Perfectly; proceed."

"

That

being the

case,

"

Clearlyso."

"

Now

he, "and

must

lies the

here

point which
of every
the strictest

promised
found
myself

in

reduced

to the

sum

four-and-a-quarters."

difficult part of

the

marked

most
your
has
hitherto

entreat

in the way

block

the old

on

the

approach

we

is
liability

our

twenty-seven millions

of

145

GUAJUAQUALLA."

matter," said
attention

; for

proved the stumbling-

negotiation."
attention,and

of

kept

my

tillI

word

figureswhere

compound interest
fractions danced
and decimal
a
reel together, whose
tions
evoluMr.
would
have
driven
Babbage distracted ; while the
"
in the harness," kept exclaiming
warm
Governor, now
grown
a

maze

every instant,
Do
to cheat us here?
at

Do

' '

how

see

you

the

perceivewhat

you

'

'

Ladrones

the Picaros

want

intend

that?"

by

If I could

follow

not

his

in his enthusiasm

Mexicans, while

; and

I denounced

"

You

satisfied

are

Conde?"

praised the

the

of

cause

said

last

at

about

the

Not

' '

And

which

he, after

the

Cuba

the

to

as

"Plain

first

as

scrip
you?

roguery"

the
over

"four-mile

Senhor

heat"

"

that head?

on

of

instalment, you

entangled

became

in

in
way
Chihuahua

the

see

the

"

hand

my
of

Then,

me."

before

course,

acknowledge

you

our

right

the

to

fund?"

reserve
"

I don't

"

And

how

see

can

be

"

"

What

"

Evident

!
injustice

to take

pleasureto
II.

are,

the

discuss
"

"

exclaimed

it is to your

as

Conde, you

VOL.

disputed,"said I.
preciselywhat the Madrid Government

it

yet that is
!

contest

found

of

syllable."

'fives,'don't
"

honor

original debt,

explanation.
"
Most
thoroughly," said I, bowing.
"
You 'd not wish for anything farther
"

at least sympathize

of the globe, to his heart's content.

the face
"

arithmetic,I could

10

hor
enlightenedunderstanding, Sen-

nevertheless, the

rightview
a

I.

state

first

man

of this transaction.

question with

I have

It is

great man."

ever
a

real

146

CONFESSIONS

Hereupon

OF

compliments,in which,
was
"

the

victor.

And

now,

panegyric,

of

1 am

bound

reckon

we

may

animated

an

to

Conde," said

Senhor
"

CREGAN.

forth into

i""tli burst

we

CON

confess,the

he, after

upon

duel
Governor

long volley

in this

support

your

of

affair?"
You

"

I,

that I

"

here

"

in any way
with a most

not

am

I smiled

all,Excellenza," replied

first of

understand,

must

official personage.

an

fascinating air

of mock

am,"

ity,
humil-

humble
a
speak, a humble
very
individual, of unpretending rank and small fortune."
"
Senhor
Ah,
Conde," sighed the Governor, for he had
heard
of my
ingots from the banker.
I, " my influence is naturally
Being as I say," resumed
of political
small.
If I am
listened to in a matter
importance,
"I

"

to

so

am,

"

"

"

services
The

cause

how

humble

am,

rely

than
of

tears

the

the

at

regarded

to

weak,

never

who

it.

asserts

matter

no

Such

as

me."
the Governor

here, and
of

soon

so

his

than

more

recognitionof

him

of

means

feel,Senhor

"We

ily's
famof my
memory
merits I may
insignificant
possess.

any

thought

as

the

to

justice is, however,

upon
embraced

We

courtesy rather

the

owe

be

must

country and

separating

few

from

official
he

one

brother.

Conde," said he,

ours

shed

"

for services

how

inadequate any

such

as

We

yours.
have

none
Republic ; honors we
wealth
is already your own
to bestow,
have
nothing
; we
to offer, therefore, but our
gratitude."
it so," thought I ;
will not increase my
"Be
the burden
luggage."
are

young

"

"

This

"

recall
hour

one

who

will remind
deems

of his life ;

snuff-box

by

box

"

you,
this the

here

containing a

he

however, of

interview, and

an

happiest,as it is the proudest,


presented me with a splendidgold

miniature

of the

President, surrounded

diamonds.

enormous

in generosity, and
at least
Resolving not to be outdone
not to be guilty of dishonesty before
conscience, I
my own
insisted

upon

the Governor's

acceptance

costly repeater, studded


very
of my
"The
arms
family
"

with
the

of

my

watch,

"

precious stones.

Cregaus

are

Irish

"

will

"

bring

to

me

your

the

of

which

Gaelic

word

the

not,"

ironically.
dwell

not

recommendation

desiring

them

furnish

with
that

whom

needed

permission

mingle

in

that

for

to

sufficient

of

introduction

entire

the

for

which

door

to

and
and

"

and

ticularly
par-

official personages

any

This

was

rich, and

the

heart

tion
men-

confidence,

acquainted.

of

my

to

attention,

immensely

was

motto

Paris

at

every

be

to

one

interview

an

be

introductions

pass

society

me

their

desired

of

Ministers

me

with
I

letters

show

to
to

me

wanted

them

extend

to

It will

Mexican

ured
fig-

signifying "Maybe

particulars

with

the

instructing
to

other

morning.

to

Madrid,

all

the

very

the

winking,"

eye

shield, in

Nabocklish,"

"

presented

was

over

to

wherein

timepiece,

"

an

was

nigh

on

I, pointing

Ireland

of

upon

till

lasted
that

display

the

crown

being

which

said

ancient

compartment

I will

recollection,"

heraldic

magnificent

147

GUAJUAQUALLA."

only

world,"

great

and

yearned

to

longed

unceasingly.
Some

of

believed

these

wealth

alone

that

the

is

rich

be

of

guests
crime
we

the

to

galleys.
of

ingredients
something
very

be

are

to

they

lurk

exist

mixture,
?

or

in

the
may

in

the

favored

against

legal

too,

every

world
some

and

"bitter

and

livery

whose

contains

nature.

ones

notoriously

as

drug

medicine,

poisonous

not

"

coarseness,

red-and-yellow

moral

days,

indictments
as

that

acknowledged

classic

guilt, the

women

the
us

and

Europe,

vulgarity,

flaws

wore

frequent

to

regum."
see

and

tell

in

moral

many

in

set

was

that

ignorant

was

convicted

The

noxious

similar

healthiest
found

as

to

even

nay,

Physicians

properties

he

which

simplicity

position,

any

denique

rex

society, men,

though

as

of

wiser, and

full

and
any

than

saloons.

in every

criminal
the

be

to

royal

have

see,

is other

knavery,

meanness,

intimate

the

the

at

attain

to

pulcher,

lived

smile

necessary,

wanting

man

Honoratus,
I have

will

passports

society, to

any

"

readers

my

tary
sanisome

May
even

of

not
in

the

principle"

VOYAGE

"THE

WAS

not

with

interview
felt

impatient

the

story of

Desirous
and

unmolested

being
right

time

same

for

suite;
myself and
eight or ten Mexican
A

salute

replied
which
that

to

blaze

by

the

the

upon
in

first marine

thought

fired

forts,

I.

my

to

seem

in the
to

should

Am

truthful,

great personage,
the

pleasure of

obtained
of

as

the

the

I ascended

recognition

what

compute

the
of

sole
"

Acadie

"

some

ladder, and

when

my

of retinue

amount

journeying

as

they weighed

present condition
on

I better?
more

and

in

the

full

identity.

my

experiences

myself

voyage,

have

poop-deck

mind

arithmetic

dignity at
offended, assuring the captain
strictest incognito ; leaving it to
a

"

other
an-

rather

equipages, baggage, and


horses
occupying the deck.

acknowledged

of

but

my

calculation

of

on

desire

not

his

accommodation

was

occasion

followers

I sat

more

honor

travelling

was

his powers
and

of

I took

the

cabin

Havannah

Governor,

as

for

secure

during

entire

the

to

character

my

to

ACADIE."'

debt."

"original

supporting

did

repetition of

escape

the

of

the

at

to

my

the

'

the

day.

friend"

"

leave

to

sorry

following

the

THE

OF

board
Have

considerate,

the

"

anchor,

with

Firefly."

I become
more

the

more

that
I

am

of

trasting
con-

my

richer,

generous,

forgiving?

150

CONFESSIONS

"As

have

me

any

little cabin
in

place to lounge

and

it.

It

crib for

was

vehemence

will

do

for
we

bed, a
day, with

dining the

everything to

said
reasons

for my

small

bath-room,
few
easy sofas,
always rough

can

the

with

sturdy

the

see

Consul, what

"

him ?

to

the

to

as

not

fortable,"
com-

"

of

Republic
never

and

Campecho.'"

'

heard

of

the

French

which

deigned

"Hold
boat's

before,

to

bit!"

Let

"

this

man

for

indifference

thanked

expressed

voyage.
Chevalier

the

personage,

being

captain

the

to

He

up
fashion
undignified

very

soon,

towards

and

ease

baffled

however,

advancing

hoisted

was

me,

this

and, in

evident,
regarding him, and
tact

were

inconvenience

way

the

during
Now,

in

for my politeconsideration
hope that he might not in any

upon,

agent.

arrival,who

new

his portmanteau

on

me

clearlyone

passage," said I, iudolently,and


tion,
directurn
my thoughts in another

my part, by
where
considerable

manner

had

his

have

official character.

an

the

informed

the

out

for

State

yet it was

official

shouted

lighteda cigar,as if to
not even
noticing the
side with

was

better

were
an

Consul

shall I say, Seiihor Conde?


The Chevalier
is very anxious
the subject."
on

"What

crew.

this

quite true

was

recognize by

there

on

That

Government

de la Boutonerie

me

all the

clearlycould

said I.
Consul, did you say?
Seiihor
"Yes,
Conde, he is the French

rites
Syba-

Excellency

your

self-praise."And

my

say

make

captain, who

"

the

make

to

never

truth.

of

We

shall

CKEGAN.

dinner- room,
and
part of my father's system
his boys." This I asserted

snug
of

"

CON

captainreddened, and bit hi.-*lip in silence.


for myself)"said J, heroically,
"J
never
complain.

The

Let

OF

worn-out

while

in himself

not

was

his dress

of

was

the

suit of black, covered

by

very
very
a

ing
prepossess-

shabbiest,

coarse

brown

Mexican

mantle; and yet his fluency,his quiet assurance,


his seeming self-satisfaction,
gained an ascendancy over
at

once.

that

he

was

master

in

long been a student, and that he


adept in the "art of impudence."

myself

had

And

how

that

saw

walk

art!

so

mistaken
How

prone

is the world
to

call the

at

me

in which
was

summate
con-

large in the meaning of

unblushing effronteryof

VOYAGE

"THE

underbred

every

OF

impudence

man

such

society, these are


specimens of the qualityas

men

with

inferior

of

any

not

"

animals.

speak

that

dares

familiarity
; the soul
that
scruples not to
impudence, or they are
only possess in common

any

invade

rudeness

The

speech, or adventures
upon
any
less, heartless, selfish intrusiveness

151

ACADIE.'"

"

THE

that

educated, cultivated

abashed
felt
which, never
"impudence"
by an inferiority,
to overbear
acutely, is resolved
worldly prejudices by the
of
exercise
a
a
gifts that assert
others,
mastery over
of self-esteem, into
of rising,by the expansive force
power
Ordinary mortals tell lies at
something almost estimable.
"

intervals,per solium,
life is

whole

class, and

lie.

and

though

was

dubious

hand

his

over

he

threadbare

cloak,

What
had

model

seen

him

presented ! And

people's
fine specimen of the
little adverse

around

him

for

in

outcast,

the

my
the

well

went

poor,

moved

chin,

miserable

hat

the whole

on

the

in

very

graceful

folds

disposing the
jaunty lightnesswith

his

of

which,

after

side of

the favored

story of the man.


had
he been, thought I, if

imitation

study he had
he was,
stances,
evidentlyin needy circumurgent want, and I, Con Cregan,
of

outset

yet there

by

he

way

when

the

in

pressed on
"

these

hundred

the

unshaven

exhibited

saluting,he replaced his


his head, that conveyed

everything

dignity in

suave

negligence

the

to

but

pleasantly.

There

say
was

indifferent

as

as

doctors

Chevalier

The

seemed

circumstances

the

as

even

friendless

life ! what

had

street-runner,

become

millionnaire."

I don't
ill at

know
with

ease

how

certainlyI
real

friend.

new

my

but

it was,

felt

marvellously

aristocrat, with

al]

have
been
assumption and haughtiness, would
of the
softness
a
blessing compared with the submissive
"
a
sly
Chevalier."
Through all his flatterythere seemed
his
and
words
a snare,
were
that his honeyed
consciousness
divest myself of the
I could
never
smile a delusion; and

the

airs

of

feeling that he
knew

me

must

me.
we

The
reach

into

saw

the

secret

very

of

my

heart, and

thoroughly.
become
fellow

Malaga

his

dupe, thought I,

will detect
!

me

for

"

or

it is all
"

parvenu

over

with

long before

152

CONFESSIONS

No

born

man

and

OF

bred

CON

CREGAN.

affluence

to

could

have

acquired

insightinto life that I possessed. I must mask this


knowledge, then, if I would still be thought a " born gentleman."
the keen

This

was

immediately such
for

one

so

wonder

of

tone

views

gifts
!

were

for

the Chevalier

set

evenings

learned

how

"

he
cost

piquet

at

much

what

so

ecarte, and

or

soon

from

the

of

; to

men

his

use

my
!
"

not

that

saw

that moment
be

To

me.

usually spent

consul

the

was

phrase, applied
la fortune."
savait coi'riger
once
spoke of,
world
Although he spoke freelyof the fashionable
luckiest

"

certainlydoes

dupe versus
something, as we

me

observations

the

became

changed

were

How

of my

fool ; and

little sly

all I said.

wisdom."
for

were

remarkably just

discoursingwhat

down

the contrivance

for

and

"consummate

"

the

admiration
seen

was

changed places,

sure,

"equivoques,"

possess

me

Chevalier's

The

strikingthe force

how

"

usually pass
we

have

must

all this while

and

for.

hoped

least,its effects

at

"

and

could

young

natural

as

resolve,

half-insinuated

his

sarcasms,

wise

to

own

he

one

"

and

with

London,

celebrities

all whose

his New

he

Paris

of

affected

near

World

experiences,
and
blinked
all allusion whatever
to the republicof " Camcomprised in the brief fact
pecho." His own
history was
of a great family of Provence,
all
the cadet
that he was
intimacy,he rarelytouched

upon

"

your

French

that

"

rogues,

he had

once

in consequence

and,

after

of

remark,

held
the

from

the South

high diplomatic rank,


fall of a ministry,he was
a

vicissitudes

many

come

of

fortune,

he

of France,
from

which,

degraded,
had

become

he,
Campecho.
My friends," continued
are
now
looking up again in the world, so that I entertain
hopes of something better than perpetual banishment."
of life,
Of English people,their habits,modes
and thought,
would
he never
with a freedom
the Chevalier
spoke to me
have
used if he had not believed
to be a Spaniard, and
me
of
chain
with
Ireland
through the remote
only connected
he never
one
penetrated,
ancestry. This deceit of mine was
satisfaction.
To
the fact with
and
I often
thought over
Consul-General

"

at

"

his frankness
on
encourage
to know
affected
nothing, or
and

gradually

he

grew

to

be

the
next
more

country, I
my
to nothing, of England ;

subject

of

communicative,

and

at

VOYAGE

"THE

last

spoke with

It

day

one

was

his

of

clew

ine

153

ACADIE.'"

which

opened

soon

to

history.

real
as

'

freedom

unguarded

an

THE

OF

walked

we

the

deck

together that, after

discussingthe tastes and pursuitsof the wealthy English, he


began to talk of their passion for sport, and especiallyhorsecharacter

The

racing.

this national

of

pastime

he

appeared

understand

to

perfectly,not as a mere
foreigner who had
a
Derby or a Doncaster, but as one conversant
traditions of the turf or the privatelife of the jockey

witnessed
with
and

the

the trainer.

that

saw

to excite

he

colored

interest within

an

pictureof an "Ascot
the ingredientsthat
dilated

with

of

these

of

his

descriptions with
for

me

these

excite

could

tint meant
drew

He

sports.

wherein

meeting,"

assembled

were

all

the

curiosityand gratify
of a wealthy, high-spiritedyouth ; and
he
enthusiasm
his own
first impressions
upon

ambition

the

all his

friends

once

with

mingled

scenes,

had

half-regrets of
the

quitted

"Turf

how

many
he last

"since

it !

saw

He

spoke familiarlyof those


in

read

world," and

affected

intimacy

and

attractive

to

reasons,

mind

another

heard

cry of

"

of

title ; and
me

Land

we

the

theme

suspicion

think

of

been

was

given from

some

had

had

often

"sporting
of

terms

on

been
it for

less
other

haunting

ever

Chevalier

had
"

all

worthy
completely

so

the

encouraged

the

I could

that

length, after

the weather

have

of

them

had

Even

would

me,

known

have

strange glimmering

possession of
At

to

names

great leaders

friendship.

that I had

under

the

as

newspapers

whose

my

before, and

this idea

gained

nothing else.
weeks
the

at

sea,

mast-head

the welcome
; but

as

and

thick, we were
compelled to shorten
hazy
sail,and made
comparatively little way through the water ;
that at nightfall
that another
so
we
saw
day must elapse ere
touched
mother
earth again.
we
The
Chevalier
and
the Captain both
dined
with me
; the
latter, however, soon
repaired to the deck, leaving us in
It was
in all likelihood
the last evening we
tete-a-tele.
should ever
pass together, and I felt a most
eager longing to
ascertain
me

the

was

the

truth

of

opportunity.

my
We

suspicions. Chance
vague
had
been playing cards, and

gave
luck

154

OF

CONFESSIONS

CON

CREGAN.

contrary to custom, and in part owing to my always shufhad


deserted
him and
tlin^the cards after my adversary
At first this seemed
side.
to amuse
taken my
him, and he
smiled
fortune, and
merely complimented me
upon
my
After
a
while, however, his continued
blandly at my success.
I could
losses began to irritate him, and
that his
see
"

"

habitual

of

command

had

captious spirithe
Shall

"

double

we

yielding to a peevish,
exhibited
never
previously.
stake?"
said he, after a long run
of

temper

our

was

ill-luck.
If you prefer it,of course," said
result.
with the same
ever

"

but

this

game."

like

fortune

The
he

he gave

played

we

on,

"

at

played on
not
only

dawning, he had
during the voyage,
which

And

last, I '11 wager fiftyNapoleons


bet was
made, and he lost it ! With

Come," cried he,

"

I.

but

till at

on,

lost all that


considerable

check

his

me

and

upon

he

last,as
had

day

me

besides, and

sum

well-known

the

was

from

won

on

for

banker

at

Paris.

he, in

he.

With

into

turned

decipher

skilful

you

to

the

cards

indicate," said

the print is
great skill in reading, where
these words, he shuffled the cards, dividing

or

packets ; the first card of


"Let
me
premise, Count,"
you will not take anything in

three

face.

reveal

may

what

no

begin, that
believe,

to
or

reasonably

cannot

await

you,
not

be

to

otherwise

I '11 be

he

each
said
bad

silent.

he,
part
You

1 tell you ; but


if unpleasant discoveries

believe, what

angry

you."

"Go
faith

the
I

free

you

two

on

before

which

is

There

"

them

least

at

can

legible."

are

Are

said

necromancer?"

a
"

"

"

heart," said I, laughing.

all my

With

"

as

"

le Comte?
I tell you your fortune, Monsieur
startled me.
that almost
tone of bitterness

Shall

"

fearlessly,"said I; "I'll not promise implicit


everything, but I '11 pledge myself to keep my

on

in

temper."
He

began

at

once

drawing

third card of each


every
When
circle,side by side.

forth

heap, and disposing them in a


so
arranged, he bent
they were
concealing his eyes from me by

as

if to

study them,

his hand

; but

at

over,

the

same

"THE

time,
bis

I could

as

fingers.

length,in

somehow

wrong,
clear

of

sense

What

if about

as

cried

nay,"

cards

blunder,
in

up

at

interpretationis

the

cards

the

the

!"

too

and
from

heap,

he

hear

us

what

dispute the testimony."


may
less ridiculous it might be offensive,"said

were

"but

smiling;

drawn

I, interposing. "Let

though

even

If it

dash

have

since

so,
absurd

an

to

he

disappointment.

angry

"Nay,
they say,

be

it must

"

between

face

here," said

great mistake

some

irritation.

of

print.

as

seemed

"

voice

is

155

"

ACADIE.'

'

perceive, keenly watching my


There

"

THE

OF

VOYAGE

we

being

it is, it is

as

really good

he,

laughing-

matter."
I

"

pray read on."


for anything but
absurd

quite impatient,

am

"

"Of

it is too

course

said he,

smiling,but, as I thought, with


perceive here this four
expression. "You
the

as

first

card
in

what

life.

this most

I cannot

Isn't

As

was

that

forced

gloat
"I

of

natural

tortures

he

with

much

step

so

say

title,but actually
humble
out

poverty.
into a

spitefulglance
through

of

me.

I sat

shame,

wretch,

who

there,

seemed

to

that this

opening will inspireyou


first
oracle," said he; "the

in the

confidence

would

laugh it was!
poignant in suffering

with
the

Really,

inflicting.

was

scarcelyexpect

can

of

card

most

the

sorrow

insolence

mencement
comyour
le Comte,

he, bursting

which

laugh, when, covered

the

over

and

to

the sarcastic

beneath

or

pierce through and


laughed too; but what

burst

This

so.

meanest
very
excellent?"
said

clubs, which,

insinuate.

rank

without

laughter, in
I

me,

born

it

the

seemed

eyes

for

Never
as

that

only

immoderate

keen

his

would

Well, well, be

continue.

of

Monsieur

only fancy,

littledemon

malicious

most

indicate

to

assumes

Now,

insolent

that you were


not
in a condition
of

fit of

turn,

we

ridicule,"

falsehood, promises

ill for

the

remainder

of

the

"

journey.
"If

not

very

Pray

amusing.
"

such

What
a

I would

would

veracious," said

have

"it

is

at

least

very

continue."
the

profanation?
not

I,

old counts
"

been

cried

the

in their old halls at Grenada

of your ancestry have said to


the Chevalier.
"By Saint Denis,
to asperse

man

"

their blood

thus,

156
We

live in

"

the victim

in all

of cold

Then

want.

and

is the

is revealed

which

and

there

of

lowly

fortunes.

You

that

to

within

and

spirit,ambitious

the

gloom

of

word

in

your

your

ear,

rattled

this

out

time

I have

greater length than

but seemed

passing
together,

was

he

As

usual,

as

are,

quitted me,
patience to repeat, his eyes never
of what
sparkle with a fiend-like intelligence

or

nonsense

destitution

bold

Chevalier

the

much

of

through all
whispered

out

While

at

proceed.

commonest

small

"

hope !

to

I, affectinga smile

very

indications

are

condition, and

tells you
to
"
rodomontade"

said

hunger, sufferingfrom

energetic,bursting

dark

CREGAN.

haughty age,"
motioning to him

follows

What

CON

less

indifference,and

of

OF

CONFESSIONS

concluded, he mixed up the cards


and
merely muttering, half aloud, "adventures
by
escapes
land and
Abundance
all
of hard luck, to be
sea.
sated
compenme.

for

day, when
you."
upon

one

is showered

in affected

anger,

rank

tomfoolery !
contemptible the oracle
than

more

in which

but

has

shown

occasion

one

revelations,

not

"

profusion
him

Then, dashing the cards from


is enough to make
he said, "It
men

themselves, the way


such

in all its richest

wealth

assure

been

alone

they yield
you,
herself

regarded

as

at

present

spise
de-

credence

to

Count, however

to-day, I

the

have

on

startling

most

the future

the past, but

also."
I

"

easilybelieve it,Chevalier," repliedI, with

can

effort to

everything
what

even

shaken
this

calm.
philosophically

seem

that

has

I have

my

faith

fancy

of mine

which

in

owe

listened
in

the

face

as

however, but
attained

to

some

I remember

once

proofs.
the

future

'

to

imbued
romantic

these

went

reason

of
of

the

on

words.
"

old nurse.
my
with
all the

knowledge
twice

or

of

it is, has

as

cards.

not

Perhaps

superstition,
She

was

and

traditions

land."

paid

no

the venerable

From

great
must
not reject
it; and
upon

childish

sneering expression on

most

I uttered

One

to-day, absurd

divination

great part

by birth, and
of her own
superstitions
was

to

of

stamp

is the remnant

Moor

There

the

not

"

Chevalier's

the

attention
dame

'destinyreading,'

in life to have

afforded

to

it,

myself

of

which

very

lar
singu-

My skill,however, usuallypreferredunravelling
to the
present.'
'

"

158
"

here," said

And

is another
not

OF

CONFESSIONS

but

taken
"

"It

upon
in

plain words,
that

is true

the

out

I
a

only
mass

cards

the

me,

vicissitude,
from
"

or

else

my

that you

are

has
latterly

with

rers,
adventu-

in the

command

spreading
study them

tell me," said I,

pretending to
complicationwhich

been

have

must

held

and

attentively;" and here is a


cleverer expositor than I am.
a
I essayed to unravel, this is
ever
Chevalier, yours

the world

here

"
"

in that country," said he,


years
ality
to learn that he forfeited his nation-

before

of them

of

father, who

my

what

know

rest

says
which

land

ease,

Pole."

Imperialarmy, lived some


hastily; " but I have yet
by so doing."

"

of

native

supply

it to

his affected

heeding

revelation, which

still stranger

Frenchman,

I , hot

CREGAN.

CON

Of

all the

the knottiest.
a

life of

propheticskill

more

has

need

would

tangled

really.

Why,
than

webs

ordinary

suffered

sadly

disuse."

Judging

from

what

you

have

just

told

me,

I rather

lean

VOYAGE

"THE

explanation," said he, swallowing


wine with great rapidity.

glassesof

suspect such

"

159

'ACADIE.'"

THE

latter

the

to

OF

could

otherwise

mystic

these

which

be

to

the

once

signs,

indeed," said

case,

scarcely have

such

two

I,

"

for

in reading
difficulty

familiar

so

down

to

and

me,

from

only pick up a stray phrase here and


Thus
I see
what
there.
implies a high diplomatic employment,
and
I
that
this is
perceive
yet, immediately after,
of mine, or
either a mistake
the thing itself a cheat and a
deception."
"
It surely does not require divination
to tell a diplomatic
can

that

agent

now

has

he

Chevalier, with
in which

on

foreign mission," said

the

sneer.

not, but

"Perhaps
passes
crowds

served

this

now

before

of

people and

here

see

rences
vestiges of strange occurconcerned.
A
fleetingpicture

is

fact

eyes

my
its

throng

see

with

race-course,

its

of

carriages,and the horses


all is expectation and eagerled out to be saddled, and
are
ness,
and"
what!
This
is most
singular! the vision has
looking at two figureswho stand
passed away, and I am
side by side in a richly furnished
and
a
man
a
room,
She is weeping, and he consoling her.
woman.
Stay ! He
is yourself,Chevalier
!
lifts his head
the man
"

"

in

faint

colored
"

"

Yes
A

said he;

! I hear
fearful

pallor

word

the

that

almost

was

uttered

was

lividness

features.

murmurs

carried

this time

but

voice, while

his dark

She
if

as

"

Indeed!

"

I,
caught it,"exclaimed
of
by the rapt excitement
prophecy.
is Alexis !
perfectly, the name

away
it now

oath

; I almost

name

"

"

burst

from

the

Chevalier, and

with

bound

he sprung
dashed
his closed fists against his
to his feet, and
with
brow.
with
"Away
jugglery, have done
your
your
miserable
that can
and
cheat, sir,
only terrify women
"

children.

you?

are
"

Speak

or

Let

this

means

far

yourselfso
"

man

who

are

you,

and

what

"

What

back

like

out

the
us

to

as

mantle

have

no

outrage, sir?
use

and
more

How

have

you

forgotten

"

this

ing
language to me ? said I, throwstanding full before him.
it be as prophet
acting, sir,whether

bully,"said he, sternly.

"

You

affect

to

know

me,

who

1G0

and

am,

whence

threaten

"

You

"

I do,"

44

It is therefore

"

shall

Make

come.

answer.

us?"

between

war

open

whatever

know

tween
be-

calmly.

so," replied he, with

"but

equal

game

you."

for

worse

the

what

secret

it means,

most

malice

can

"

cuttingirony of
do,

and

"

pledge myself

you
will

you

find

yourself forgotten."
leave me,
Agreed, then; now

not
"

"

drive

to

shelter ;
take

and

hence

me

when

my

are

fain

perform before
Nothwithstanding

determined
salt ;

"

with

sooner

into

the

high

sir, the

world

walk

character

would

the insult

would

; I cannot

seas

me,

not

who

would

you
so."

act

had

assent, for I could

and

forth

in the last

conveyed

respect "him

gesture of

in

not

am

most

words, I
eaten

not

my

speak,

away.

No

had

that

and

moved

hypocritical
is surely scant politeness
a positionto find another

It

"

courtesy.

the
upon
Believe
leave.

we

sir."

guest, sir," said he, with

am

your
air of deference

I alone

was

than

repented

which, for the indulgence of


been

I had

betrayed.

made

for the

an

could

make

wherever
to

neither

as

I went

by

by

folly
I

petty vengeance,

this absurd

whose

man

of the rash

me

mere

whole

piece of

malice

vouched

career

malevolence.

Whether
one

his

What

it

was

dangerous

they

attack

speciesof

vengeance?

These
so

the

could

likely that

more

himself,

to

mind
filled my
heralded
the bustle which

solve, and
heeded

of

me?

me

that

saw

injure me?

he

upon
avoid

would

enemy
of his

danger

How
he

CREGAN.

then," said I,

me,

said

soon

be

the

was

never

manner;

have

it may

or

us,

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

or

were

he

me
pursue
hard questions

completely
arrival

on

that I
board

told that we
which
pilot,or the still busier movement
deck and
At last I went
on
were
approaching the harbor.
of the crew
which
number
a
approached the bulwark, over
of a boat
that, with all
were
leaning, watching the course
"
The
boat,"
her canvas
pilotspread, was
making for land.
"
she is
said the captain, in reply to my
glance of inquiry;
lying straightin, as the consul is anxious to land at once."
board
said I, with an
"Is
he on
of her?"
anxiety I could
of

not

the

conceal.

VOYAGE

"THE

Serlhor

Yes,

"

OF

Conde,

and

161

'ACADIE."

THE

Excellency's

your

secretary

too."
it

Was

were

opportunity

no

had

to

the

cares

for

worse?

and,

trouble

of

their

this

before

over

fancy

or

might

that

actual

positive

"

danger

it be

strange

never

is

and

cast
whelming
over-

causeless.

could

I
but

imagine,
I

anticipated

be

the
do

brigandage,"

to

something

increased

that

make

to

misfortunes

that

next

without

part

moment

casualty

robbery,

real

any

of

species

highway

except

on

felt

depression

of

every

for

My

his

zeal

Certainly,

them,

rious
multifa-

the

ashore

gone

Every

thoughts.

shadows

of

with

had

captain

the

enforces.

secretary

what?

so,

my

land

to

for

test,

simple
lency
"Excel-

sneer

busy

was

disembarking,

our

sense

ran

and

piece

the

to

matter

the

and

like

something

my

it

was

or

"Count"

words

spot,

had

if

notion,

approach

near

Was

preparations

the

the

Why

was,

orders?

my

the

with

put

quitted

already

thought

that

articulated

"

the

suggested

thought

but

fact,

fear

my

could

not

from

the

Chevalier.
How

different

would

have

visions

been

of
of

given

and
all

dread
That

the

did

not

proved.

VOL.

of

quietly,
of

II.

"

11

splendor?
than

fourth

from

and

cursed
overrate

to

have

to

my

be

all

proud

Alas
landed
mind

it

expected
were

the
?

state

wealth

Where

Where

princely
my

what

shore!

nearing

on

more

my

mood

my

and

pomp

full

was

! I

my

stances
circum-

would

have

tiously
unostenta-

relieved

from

Chevalier.
the

peril

before

me,

events

soon

Malaga,

at

"

into

proudly

sailed

we

attention

my

MORENA"

"CARCEL

THE

directed

first

AT

MALAGA.

the

harbor

striking

the

to

of

city actually embowered


off by the appearance
drawn
amid
was
soon
orange-groves
which
of a boat, rowed
approached the
men,
by twelve
in
ship. The national flag of Spain floated from a standard
and uniforms
the glitterof arms
I could mark
her stern, and
of

features

shore, where

the

lay

"

"

the
"

"

whom

her.

of

board

on

The

of

officers

"

said I,

to
carelessly,

captain.
No,

Senhor.

Ah,

they

these

hoarse
from

soldiers

are

understand,"
land

in

period of the great


"
Possibly," was
A

health, I suppose?

Carlist
his

ship;

I,

"

they

troublous

these

challenge
the

said

of the

and

are

on
"

times

the alert
for

it

to

as

the

was

struggle.

dry remark,

from

garrison."

the
the

"

boat

and
was

he

moved

away.

answered

by

accommodation-ladder

thing
some"

was

the
to
deck,
immediately lowered, and an officer ascended
followed
with their side-arms.
by two of his men,
of the ordinary greetings being
tween
Some
interchanged bethe captain and
the officer,the latter said, " My
ness
busithe
de
here is with
styling himself the Conde
person
is he?
Where
Cregano.
"

"CARCEL

THE

is my

That

**

admixture

towards

their

taking up
wish

"

My

"

when

sentries

to

shore.

on

Here

the mouth
authorities

are

for

but

you on
Information
and

terror

it

were

scruples,

arrest
' '

the

I,

the

at

of

my
the two

soldiers

said

he,

that

within

the limits of

for

would

one,

he

as

time," said
fitting
need
of any."
no
circle of buoys, at

I have

I have

have

you

degree of
dignity.

otherwise, these

information

the

with

withiu

even

and

officer,leading

Senhor,"

passport,
your
the
table.
at

I arrive

studious

at the door.

see

sir; once
wrong,
of the port, you are

times

sir,"said

passport shall be produced

You

"

I, with

preceding me
ill for his impression
the cabin, I could
hear

places as

himself

seated

I,

this way,
cabin, and

entered

we

"

said

condescension.

walk

to

163

MALAGA.

the poop
that boded

assurance

As

AT

Senhor,"

name,

and
civility

of

"Please

MORENA"

the

shore
the

not

are

hesitate

not

to

received."

received, sir !

"

exclaimed

I, in

amazement.

Yes, sir ; I may as well tell you that Malaga is not in


the possession of your
friends,
you will not find a Carlist
' '

"

garrisonready
less

Far
you.
I

to

formal,

But

salute of honor

give you

but

less

not

produce your
a glance that

attentions

peremptory
for

papers,

I have

positionwas

landing.

at your

no

time

await

to lose."

perilous,and
effort for safety. " Senhor
an
as
rapidlyresolved to
Capitana," said I, placing an open pocket-book stuffed with
before
bank-notes
please to accept my passport,
him,
safe possession. I shall put to
and
to keep it in your
own
port in
sea
again, and order the captain to land me at some
Italy."
"It
is too late," said he, with a sigh, as he pushed the
againstyou are already
pocket-book away ; the informations
at

saw

my
make

most

"

"

to Madrid."

transmitted

cried

order

the

Conde

tell; I

for

do

they

take

only

know

that I have

whom

one?

heard.

never

arrest

your

Cregano.'

"What

any

for

me?"

I.
I cannot

"

and

heavens!

"Great

as

the

person

assuming

to be

'

the

"

crime

is laid

What

is

to

my

charge?

allegedagainst me?"

Have

I defrauded

10-4

Show

"

your

it

Estaban's

Don

Grenada

and

noble

And

all this is true

"

It is

that

upon

case

You

are

something
the cabin

low

too

and

I looked

went

seemed

more

chance

there

they

that two

other

the door

and

and

the

I shall not
me

fellows

any

who

make

better

ten

at

me

you."

not

of

them.

looked

was

nor,

were

wish

look

to

like

assist

the

"

knowing
Bring
at

towards

speaking, it

passing in their
nothing in return
I to do

to be

looked

They

they then

In

never

althoughwithout

I ask

not

whispered
writing-case

amount.

by

in

that

benefited
to

and

so

in

few

and

seemed

seconds

afraid, and

together ; and

minds.
from

you.

so, could
two

you
worthy

spoiled children

to

the money
thousand

fair

division

waste

about

at

precious
your

piastres,
"

another
moments

persons.
and
here,

last

at

then

and, taking up the desk, laid it down

over,
can

of

Still,even
I

large

very

them

merely

do
certainly

They hesitated
for

I,

"

way.

you.
said

he

as

"

fortune.'

of

soldiers.

from me,
away
the satisfaction

are

men

what

see

have

to escape,

attempt

in

bespeak

the door

and

away,

said

officer,

I sat, into the faces

than

taken

skylight

Remember,"

aid

overhear.

to

will be

to

the

sentries, whispered
This done, he left

two

worthy friends,

I'll give
they looked

plainenough
"

thrown

and

desk,

the

soner
pri-

no

pair of gentlemen
rascals, they
dissipated-looking

but

well
I may
as
brave but poor

restored.

of

ill-favored

more

bank-notes

are

moments

the

to

that

said
so

opened

He

highwaymen

"My

native

said I.

accent

your

to

be

rities
autho-

officer,

land

himself,"

chair where

the

to

not

by

deck

Ill-fed

voice:

yonder

was

me

upon

like

was

soft

each

for

guardians, and
beheld.

me

out

from

up

two
my
I never

few

me

said the

Spaniard,"

arrest."

this, and, pointing

the

called

native

my

no

are

indeed, does

under

now

in

criminate

you

shrewdly, "nor,

from

was

"

set forth?

law

principleof

is called

which

Spain.
as

to

obtained

wherein

and

of

"

"In

I had

intervention

Guajuaqualla,

of

CREGAN.

CON

passport,"said he again.
is," said I, producing the document

me

"There

OF

CONFESSIONS

of them

one

before

but

Here

are

fullyas

at
some

much

pered
whiswent

"

me.

time," said
now,

they

You
is

I; "it
once

ceal
con-

eight or
more

for

lb'6

CONFESSIONS

residence

and

The

into

apartment

neglect had
table, spread with a
the
I

at which

windows,

left alone

was

to my

windows

to

grief,I ate heartily; and having


amused
myself by studying the Trojan

over

the walls in a very ancient


upon
1 had
traced
the fortunes
of Greeks
till 1

walls

concluded

and, in the unbroken

me,

should

be

utterlyforgotten,and

die of moths

and

years ; but at
like the clank

heard

something
the
soldiery,and soon
approaching my door.
followed

by

towards

walked

it, said

to

one

his

played
dis-

wa3

the windows

till my

look

to

came

I half feared

after
that I

tramp of
distinctlymarked,
and

arms
more

the

of

leaves

the two

elderlyman,

in

the

ing-door
fold-

general's

officers, entered.
of

the

salute

him, he

I made

and, standing with


fireplace,

the
of

of

an

other

notice

meal,

left,like the old tapestry, to


last, as day was
declining,I

were

and

of

one

my

which

war,

around,

Suddenly

two

taking any

Without

sounds

wide,

thrown

were

uniform,

silence

small

tapestry.
and
Trojans on the
had
even
gazed upon

I
well-nighwearied.
the little patches of brown
grass beneath
dim with watching ; but no one
eyes grew
was

from

myself, and then


Hunger prevailed

seat

lucubrations.

own

thick

in

breakfast, stood

invited

was

large

handsome, but
disfigured. A

and

worn

was

piercing the

been

tolerable

very

ushered

was

once

become

and

narrow

had

mixture

in all its details.

which

furniture

The

walls.

CREGAN.

Governor, exhibitinga curious

the

saloon, dimly lighted by


time

CON

incongruous functions

these

of

of

OS

aides-de-camp, "Read

his back
the

'

to

proces-

verbal,' Jose."

bowed, and, taking from his sabretache a very lengthy


roll of paper, began to read aloud, but with such rapidityand
Jose

such

withal

indistinctness

catch
greatest difficulty,

that

I could

stray word

only,

here

and

and

with

there.

the

The

Majesty the Queen appeared to occupy full ten


minutes, and an equal time to be passed in settingforth the
These
I then stood.
over,
jurisdiction
authorityunder whose
can
there came
something about an individual who, born a Mexithe style,title, and
native of Texas, has assumed
or
a

titles of

her

dignity of a Count of Spain, such rank being taken


the better to effect certain
of deception,and
designs,

to

be

set

forth

hereafter.

After

for

poses
pur-

able
treason-

this

there

came

flourish about

sovereign, whose
together with
wicked
of
war

MORENA"

"CARCEL

THE

their

of

private virtues

all base

on

and

into the bosom


carry dissension
with the passions of a civil
convulse

sought
and

country,

to the
loyaltyaud fidelity
in by parenthesis,
came

energetic denunciation

very

who

men

the duties

167

MALAGA.

AT

to

proverbiallytranquil and peace-loving.


Nothing could be less interestingthan the style of
nation

this

recited
it. State
who
of him
except the manner
truisms, in inflated language, and wearisome
platitudesabout
paper,

nothing, received
intonation

and

I listened

hung
the

indifference

not

anxiety

of

snufflingnasal

this

whose

man

interest,

I heard

and, lastly,
completely wearied

by

of

the

voice, and

tiresome

the

iterations

with

the

of

more

monotony

style,I

could

the affair

from

far

wandering

thoughts from

prevent my

fortunes

character

rambling

then, as the vague,

diminished
;

from

grace

cough.

first with the

at

document

of the

short

the issue ;

on

additional

no

in hand.
What

crimes

fearful
I

offences

in the

charged with,

was

while

of

poured

loud

"Hem!"

chamber,
have

from

that

Prisoner

I
"

the nature

of your

reasons

arrest

repliesto which,
the crime
your

of

name

"

Con

"

Native

'

he, in
; you

if not

will

in accordance

tone,

certain
with

you,

What

"

"Ireland."
What

rank

and

"

variable

one,

"

What

"

Whatever

' '

Have

trade

you

or

position do you
as

"

luck

favors

profession do you

seems

served

most

"

convenient

hold

in

the

truth, constitute

Cregan."

"

you

questions, the

Traicion,' the penalty being death.

country?

"

and

"

of what

love

my

was.

charge against
answer

of

me,

through the

stern, authoritative

of the

ing
stroll-

concluded, and

was

resounded
I

dire

beside

narrative

reading

where

myself

Maria

Donna

General

the

remembered
said

heard

now

it till the

was

what

"

hear, since, lost

fancied

impassioned

most

to

not

was

forest, with

out

fidelity.Nor

"

"

pleasant land of day-dreams,

in the shade

and

allegedagainst me,

were

"

society?

me."
follow?"
at the moment."

is

168

OF

CONFESSIONS

CREGAN.

CON

"Ihaw."
"

In the laud

"

In

both."

grade?"
Nothing very distinguished."

"With
"

"

"

what

Have

With

"

In the

held

ever

you
I have."

"

object,and
prairiesof South

you
"If
I

at

you

speak

I have

done.

Make

' '

General

is

Write

"

preciselyof

down,

for

resumed
"

"

to the

"

To

get

horse
"

"

have

'
"

says that he is
falsehood.'

own

perfectly

"

or

of

way

commission,'

full one,

"that

the

thinking."
"

General,

said the

for the

interrogatingwas

General,

the

"state

your

object

in

country."
of it

out

use

as

were

with

equipage
My own."
Name

dearly

more

you

minutes.

some

whose

For

seemed

sir,"resumed

Now,

coming

my
insults the

'

boilingwith rage.
The
paragraph
not

cost

occasion

no

parenthesis,"said I,

of

add, by way

"And

is

truth," said I, boldly, "I must


If you want
fiction,I 'in ready for

he tells truth

whether

indifferent

red-deer."

to shoot

the

that, Jose !

of

note

America,

notice."

moment's

"

where?

sallies may

these

to

am

as

expedition?"

an

for."

think

than

of

sir," said the General, "this

untimely jest;

answer

the command

what

"Remember,
for

"

service?

sea

or

the agent

fast
the

which

or

as

I could."

provided,

arms

you

embarked

agents of Don

the horses

"

and

"

Carlos

with

whom

you

"

held

correspondence ?
None.
I never
knew
any."
"
whose
hands
the large sums
were
By
possession intrusted to you?
"

of

money

in your

"

"

I found

and

"How,
"

In

The
could

them."

where?"

hole."

General's
see

purple; and
grew
the struggleit cost him to repress

And

in

face

the

mutterings

he

more

his

let fall to

than

once

bursting indignation.
his secretary,

"CARCEL

THE

it

was

not

easy to mark
favorable.
too
Were

"

MORENA"

his comments

that

with

acquainted

you

169

MALAGA.

AT

on

evidence

the

were

Gon-

Hermose

Brigadier

zillos?"
"

No."

"

Nor

brother, the Canon

his

with

Gonzillos?"

"No."
Senhor
did you first meet
"
him in my
life."
Never
saw
with him?"
"Nor
held intercourse
"

When

Peres

Ruy

Y' Hacho?"

"Never."
"

Were

in his company,
details of the expedition?

know

"I

nothing of what
Ruy Peres,"

"Produce

opened,
"

"

and

know

you
I know
"

Go

at

for

with

Is that

"Attend

man

to

your
intentions."
"

said

With

at

such

he

name

the

door
and

the

"

that he had

I, coolly, "haven't

he

made

"Neither

You

knowledge
we

known

I, eagerly.

General, while

the

earlyhistory,your
intimate

in

lived

once

police there."

confessed

to retire.

here.

Rad-

On
being
secretary.
Ruy Peres, the prisoner became
to

once

sir,"said

avail you

"

the

is Alexis

name

years before in London."


witness
against me? " asked

the Chevalier
will

us,

me,

and

militaryuniform

whose

to

the Senhor

in

such

known

suddenly abashed, and


him intimatelyseveral

to

Pole

least, under
is well

General;

the

"

on," said the General

confronted

sign

said

of

this

him

and

London,

to

the

foreign orders, entered.


said the General, dryly.
gentleman?

decorations

Do

choft'sky

"

to him

you're talking about."

Chevalier, dressed

the

several

"

intrusted

nor

"

secret

with

much

not

been

solence
subterfuge nor inperfectlywell known
intrigues,your present

are

late

of all about

wasting

General,"

me,

great deal

of

"

?
interrogatory
"And,
notwithstanding repeated admonitions, persisted
in using the most
indecorous
language to the commission."
in a loud voice, and
These
words
the General
dictated
they

valuable

were
"

now

time

in this

immediately taken down by his secretary.


Senhor Concregan," said he, addressing"me,
committed, by virtue of a royal warrant,

"

you
a

stand

copy

of

170

CONFESSIONS

and

which,

of

transmitted

the

to

whether

will

that

nation

life to
the

"

I desire

at

prisoner,
but

along

to

supplied
a

told
have

to

and

that

sentry

the

fancied
upon

moment

I
of

around

me.

had
my

possess.

since

soldiers,

two

led

and
the

surprise

me

whole

and

the

and
that

of

my
in

entered

some

My
my
were

newspapers,
certain

at

of

guard

feet

handcuffs

chamber,
the

had
and

only

own,

freely

wer;

the

clank

without,

relieved, I could

inn, without

homely

some

to

corridor

being

was

with

intervals

in the

range

orange-groves

bound

am

I
ward
sea-

wide

and

neat,

fare, I

even

shufiling

liberty.
window

the

and

was

say

order.

looking

taking

villas

that

cannot

window

State

clear

mildest

very

Malaga,
and

doing,

with
of

of

quite

not

were

furniture

save

myself

my

was

The

and,

musket,

resentativ
rep-

birthright

prerogative

the

of

gardens

Books,
me,

the

the

they

bay

luxury

excellent.

occasion,
and

or

I claim

such

wrists,

were

room,

miles.

for

pretensions

of

where

shore,

extended

was

whaf

beautiful

the

over

liberty

my

this

my

authorities

the

comfortable

most

as

opened,

from

enjoyed

discipline

prison

my

had

justified in

were

of

me.

that

that

or

least

to

trampled

calumny.

on

on

recovered

I had

was

door

handcuffs

be
his

suffer

at

public
the

belong

to

demand

to

tary
mili-

or

petty locality may

your

made

it

or

about

be

occasioned
it

as

General

the

before

Whether

infamous

was

adjusted

proceeding

they

I
to

from

even

away

and

ambassador,

What

advancing,

false

country

''I

I;

member
will

my

destined

signal

its meanest

decided

civil

duly

trial."

sir," said

less

my

"

not

was

to

for

up

be

have

authorities

far

of

protection
of

to

will

you,

submitted

subject,

tyranny,

sacrificed

be

be

brought

permits

never

by foreign

on

be

English

an

am

the

should

offence

CREGAN.

against

Whenever

you.

your

CON

laid

charges

tribunal, you
"

OF

been
now

removed

the

iron

chions
stan-

the

reminders

tion
restric-

of

jail

PTEJiLSOCX^
CONSOLATIONS

of

shock

destitute,

and

to

and

painful,
of

grief, like

the

left the

and

It is true,
a

week

what
a
an

whom

half

to

and

thoroughfares

State

take
?

and

whose
his

whole
course

which

speak

this
ideal

in

am

to

me

about,

something?
was

its very

to

avoid

widest

my

off,

ran

ever.

what

haunts

memory
not

am

than

pertaining

think

Is

better

with

cares

lips, whose

moments.
one

very

acute

as

in

way

tend
pre-

but

soon

to

and

plation
contem-

it ;

from

contrast

long

that

even

the

untroubled

promised?

consequence

of

their

-waking
life,

The

certain

on

great deal
of

hovel

it not

is not

terrible

condition

fortress

ministers

is often

still, is

original

Spanish

is

and

not

most

torrent,

life clear

I, this

but

of my

thought

my

bespeak

course

mountain

do

from

far

No,

hopes.
of

stream

ago

Irish

ruined

my

life,

not

was

little

suffered

that

and

unfriended

my

happiness.

disappointment

my

enjoy

to

rible
ter-

wealth

prisoner

the

over,
of

pinnacle
of

like

wonderfully

or

the

feeling

actually began

that

say

from

of

condition

lowly

"

something

feel

fall

that

the

to

greatness

revulsion

first

HE

DIPLOMACY.

OF

was

advance

of

prisoner

in

peasant

in

surrounded
;

am

whose
them
Is

one

name

in

their

it not

the

bypaths

and

busiest

172
The

occupations
sustain

to

in which

tributed
passed my days greatly conpleasant illusion. 1 was
eternally

this

interminable

nation

narratives,

imprisonment.
mine

of

seemed

of time

at

memorials

my

Sir,

"

"

Affairs
the

but

directed

am

their
the

by
the

and

bearing

letters

state, in

to

present

lengthy

under

reply,

Secretaryof

25th

on

the

same

that

the

matter

investigationwith

of

my
documents

length

sached
that

me

for

Foreign

memorials

your
last month,

subjects
your
authorities

dated
with

together
that

time,

complaint

is at

since

of

the

of

name

"

State

of

of

and

tyranny

destination

receipt

9th, 12th, 18th, "23rd, and

various

the

For
sorry acceptance.
of their reception ever

reached

had

acknowledge

to

protesting in

that these

true

what

ministers

our

acknowledgment
last the following dry epistleinformed

no

; but

me

quite

meet

to

all

to

and

facts,

the unwarrantable

against
It is

of

statements

consuls, invoking their aid, and


the British

CREGAN.

writiug letters, memorials,


not, of

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

of

Spanish

the

Government.
His

"

Lordship
his

me

to add

can

hold

out

to

you

made
and

the

Secretaryof

of course, was
of such
to the course

"

incurred

which,

To

18

was

most

to

you

desires

risks

many

engaged

were

ural
nat-

in.

be, sir,

obedient

servant,
"Joseph

"

Backslip.

Cornelius

This

of the

one

the honor
Your

"

as

expeditionas

an

1 have

F. O., London,
"Oct.

Foreign Affairs

regrets that even in the event of your liberation he


no
prospect whatever that any compensation wili be
for the loss of property you
allege to have suffered,

"

"

for

State

Cregan, Esq."
sad

damper

think

To

that I

to lose

was

the

property with which I had embarked,


the gems
and jewels, the rare
objects of art, the equipages,
blood ! not to speak
the beautiful
horses
of purest Mexican
immense

of

of

amount

that

far

"

greater loss,

But, then, what

"

large

the

consolation

to

sum

remember

iu actual
that

money

Secretary

the
with
on
own
mingling his sorrows
my
to his
subject; that he actually gave an official character
"his
grets"
regrief, by desiring the Under-Secretary to convey
Con
to
in a despatch! his regrets
Cregan!
me,
of

State

was

"

What

inestimable

words

That

ever

I should

live to

know

174

OF

CON

CHEGAN.

and

cares

of

CONFESSIONS

traditions

the

bequeathing

neither

colleague, who

spoke

office

to

his Dutch

any other tongue than


Wearied
dikes and fogs.

read

nor

muddy language begotten of


possiblyby the daily arrival of
that

half

quire

of

by which
cial
this offistruck off with such
sheets were
unfailingcelerity,
the
arrived
one
day at the prison with an order from
Governor, permitting him to see the " Condi'."
the turnkey announced
I was, as usual, writingaway, when
his Excellency (every official is Excellency if too low for
Highness), Mynheer van Hoagendrius, and a very short and
of black-anddressed
in a kind
immensely fat personage,
like
He
looked
white
trousers, entered.
plaid jacket and
chess-board
set on
a huge
legs. A grunt, a snort, a thick
sound
like a struggle between
choking and gurgling,ensued,
which
I concluded
to be something in Dutch, and he seated
himself opposite me.
I made
compliments to him, polyglot-wise,in French,
my
the last evidently
English, Spanish, and at last German,
of his cold intelligence,
strikinga spark out of the embers
curious

or

to

the machine

strances,
remonmy
these broad

see

"

for he fixed his dull eyes upon


me,
wake
Animated
would
soon
up.

seemed

and

as

though

he

by this hope, I proceeded


Deutsch
to him.
to expound my
in my very best
sorrows
had
been
acquired in the
Fortunately for me, my German
quently
low companionship of "skippers" and
sailors,and conse"

"

Holland

bore

than

the

resemblance

nearer

of

tongues of professorsand

cultivated

more

its half-brother

to

philosophers.
I

to

cannot,

interest
laudable

in

the

desire

this

the

at

come

truth

in

but the Mynheer


came
now
difficulty,
and usually stayed two
hours, during
smoked

incessantly. Often,

myself

"what

how

far

had

progress
I made
him

remained
flash of

I had
master

an

would
intelligence
the

animation

without

direction
arose

from

of
the

of

eyes

sight

my
for

light up
of

to

each

me

left me,

his

he

I asked

have

but

the question

occasionallya stray

dull

I could
some

and

good opinion?

case?"
if

much

morning,

I talked

which

any
the

from

question of

in his

made

answer;

his

he

when

from

arose

proceeding

whether

narrative, or
to

it

whether

hour, say

features,

on

lowing
fol-

perceive that the


returntishing-boat

OF

CONSOLATIONS

ing

loaded

had

saluted

with

turbot,

him

from

My
weeks,
every
choice

which,

permitted to land for


no
signs of life other

felt at

for above
visitingme
not
supplied himself

been

now

as

salt cod

I cruised.

during which, if he had


detail of my
calamity, he
tobacco

of

"

latitude

or

odor

savory

length as though
log-line, nothing to mark
my

say in what
Dutch
friend had

progress

the

shore.

the

sailing without

were

that

or

175

DIPLOMACY.

had

favor

at

from

least

smoked

with

all the

Governor,

the

six

was

use
as
yet he had given
; and
my own
than
the act of fumigation aforesaid.

half angry,
half amused,
little act of dexterity
at the
with which
he emptied the last remnant
of my
Havanpure
nah
into his pipe, and heard, with a kind of malicious
faction,
satisI

was

little

the

canister
He

from

with

sigh

which

he

the

pushed

empty

him.

seemed

lost for

time

some

in the

but at length he fixed


reflections,
low, suffocatingtone said, " Hast

his
a

No," said I.
"There, then," said he, giving

his Dutch

slough of

eyes upon
file? "

and

me,

in

"

tied up in paper.
door before I could
As

he reached

voice

said,

turned

bood

est

understood
might not
which
implied that the ground
as

No

caution
sooner

to
was

which, besides
and

another

me

two

of

in the

event

I alone

than

if

"

the

of

latter

surpriseto

thank

in

the

him.

very significant
species of Plat-Deutsch

hard

was

towards

unaccompanied
beneath

leap.
opened my

by

gesture

window,

my

files,contained

oil,

"

parcel tightly

moved

and

about,

have

he

my

hardt,"

small

me

and

from

recover

it,he
Der

"

Farewell

"

"

a
a

small

useful

precious packet,
phial of aquafortis
adjunct

to

concealed

prevent

the

Having
ments
implegrating noise being
the iron bars of
in a rat-hole, I proceeded to examine
the
window, which, although seemingly of great size and
than
of more
with
rust
in realitycoated
a
strength, were
This
most
thickness.
half their actual
was
a
inspiriting
with glowing hopes of
animated
me
discovery,and at once
heard.

the

success.

only work during the night,I affected


for keeping my
bed during the day, when
a reason
profoundly and refreshingly.
As

I could

illness
I

as

slept

L76
The

of

non-success

all my

CON

CltEGAN.

efforts to interest

just beginning

was

cause

my

OF

CONFESSIONS

impress

to

diplomacy

with

me

in
of

sense

this new
incident occurred
to
gloom and despondency, when
Life had
now
an
object ; and
rally my drooping courage.
that, if not always enough for happiness,is sufficient at least
those energies which, when
spair.
to rouse
stagnant, produce deI longed for night to come,
How
that I might resume
resolute
labor ! with what
on
during
industry I worked
my
the change of the sentries
the dark hours, only ceasing when
and
even
window,
brought the guard close beneath
my
grudging the few seconds thus wasted ! With what delight
the fissure which, at first only deep enough
I used to measure
for

nail,

my

used

was

conceal

to

sufficient

now

each

This

remembered

whether

he

if he

seldom

there

pity

his

on

the

At

any

of

"

man

tion,
condi-

our

thoughts. I
my
situated ;
and
how

of

alive,

think

ever

land, or wish

me?

of

to it?

to return

hold

Did

to him?

out

bound

him

to

he

And

was

the

of

had

week,

fifth

removable

was

permitted me

to

parapet, overlooked

and-twenty feet
by a sentry, one
extended

guard

be overcome,

prison walls

then
"

inestimable

the

bay for miles.


the ground, and

the
the

chain

entire

only

of

in less

This

fortress.

The

difficulties which

am

about

was

sure

mere

beneath

and

the

remained

to

liberation

I invented

five-

"watch"

descent
now

of

egress
with a low

guarded

was

bar

free

sentinels, whose

far, at least,as

extended.

thus

terrace, which,

the

of

so

will,and

at

extensive

an

from

around

were

take

captivity?

close

window

what

to

pleasure of "reporting the breach practicable,"or,


sounding phrase, of assuring myself that the middle
the

ever

That, after
thoughts !
my

sympathizing Dutchman

silent and

going forth in chains to daily


settlement
working at some

convict

he

life in which

my

out

still

prospect of escape did fortune


the great link which
all, was
Was

all

in
similarity

some

were

Did

of his native

dream

from

ticket-of-leave

"Bush."

the

by the
seeming,

colored

so
that, to
filing,

This

order.

now

bread

only period
:

was

yet

was

toil,ora"
in

he

wonder

to

the

father

my

perhaps,
used

the

in its usual

almost

was

from

file!

the

cover

with

morning

rusty powder that fell

everything was

to

from

at least

the

fifty

CONSOLATIONS

OF

177

DIPLOMACY.

were
afterthoughtalways showed
of
the
worthless.
I
bethought me
bribing
perfectly
sentry
I
still possessed; but what
with the few
gold pieces which
security had I that he might not resist the seduction, or
after receiving the money?
even
betray me
considerable
there anything to
The fall,too, was
was
; nor
bedclothes
to lower
which I could attach
myself to the
my

choice

It must

ground.
I be in

were

laborious

be

"

! I

obstacles

prevent

me

to

my

I reached

the

shelter,passport, or

situation

should

ankle

sprain my

even

in

any

in

most
most

of

the

sufficiently
great

were

escape

mere

ground

or

what

done.

be

to

thinking

even

and

perceived that although the


work
was
accomplished, the

now

portion of

"

bone,

difficult still remained


The

drop

break

to

Alas

effort !

the

which

stratagems

to

course

to

be

pursued after
without
friend,

safety,for I was
of disguise or
means

concealment

whatever.
the question ; and
pondered long and carefully over
since I had cut
already had two dreary weeks passed over
to
through the bar, and yet, so far as I could see, no nearer
the solid iron enclosed
liberation than when
me.
My mind
began to sink under the fatigue of unceasing contrivance,
of hopelessnessseemed
and a dreamy, dreary sense
gaining
It
had
been
with
a dark, cloudy day,
on
me.
gusts of wind,
followed
The
air was
moist
and
by intervals of calm.
heavy, and charged with the depressing influences which the
"
mestrale," that sickliest of all winds, ever
brings. Masses
I

of

clouds

leaden-colored

broken

into

All

had

which

short

in, the signs of bad

set

the

"

jobbe,"
angry
the approach of a

betokened

night

floated low

had

lulled

for

brief

clank

of

chain

loud

anchors, the

of

gale

the

of

which

as

wind, and,

VOL.

ii.

"

13

wind,

previous, now
sprung
against the rocks with
that

presages
plashing noise

sailors

as

"wind."
of

falling
they prepared to

the

discern the movements

as

Scarcely

pitch; the

now
heard, while
gathering storm, even
changing positionof the different lightsof the bay

meet

was

storm.

thickened.

space
chafed

cables, the

shouts

as

dark

the sea
fretted and
up, and
that peculiar sharp chirping sound

The

if after

weather

it became

set, when

sun

the sea,

over

of the various

vessels

as

in

the

I could

theysought

178

CONFESSIONS

shelter

made

or

OF

in

for sea,

ready

impenetrabledarkness,

The

Of the lights,the cries


the

along

of

and

quays,

departingin haste,

CKKUAN.

to have

sounds

of

different

voice

might

leave

board

of

her

indicated

the

her

the

from

her

such

"

which

of

scene

large French

I could

"taken

no

red

steamer

would

one

lantern

that

see

berth"

up

as

night."

vessel, and

position and

crews

Marseilles; but I overheard


foretelling that the "Gazonne"

passengers,

boats'

for

night

street

without
on

to

"

sailed that

gale."

"

roaring wind, the flushing


the
hurrying of feet
seamen,

all gave a charm


the interest.
the obscurity increased
A
was

the

of

expectation

the

the

the

CON

peak
changed

had

farther

on

the

at

she

go

in

out

the

bay.
I cannot

tell

instinct

what

by

object of ni}T interest,but

I selected

it

so

her

as

I watched

was.

peculiar

her

ingly,
unceas-

and

she
rarely took my eyes from the quarter where
when
the heaving motion
of the " red light showed
was
tossing in a heavy sea, I listened too with eagerness
those
that passed beneath
catch anything from
that
"

and

lay ;

that she
to

this

might concern
sympathy.
"the

Were

"

remain

said

given me,"

I take
The
broke

walls

four

dancing

in

the offer !

for

further

least

till
I

and
and

I to

window

be

the odor

"

I would

the

sweeter

to

of orangehave braved

gale, shipwreck itself,rather


"

me.

myself

that the

"the

free choice

over

! with

what

which
a

life of

Would

deck

alternative

the

thankful

prisonmen
im-

change

to
waves

heart

are

would

"

turnkey, who

the

moment

upon
his

door, and
molestation

out

would

bore

ever

these

to be

was

upon
hurricane.

the

terrace.

The

increasingthe darkness,

and

to

came

musings

see

; and

retiring footsteps, told


feared, and

daybreak, the undisturbed


opened the window, pushed

walked
wild

of

sheets

last visit of
in

board
blew

ever

that

engrossed all my
of her," thought I,

now

helpless,hopeless thing

for

foamy

double-locked
no

the

making

was

on

maddest

the

seas,

longer

these

that

balmy airs
through my barred

the stormiest

were

but

once

all the

blossom

than

hurricane

wildest
than

me

vessel, wmich

rain

master

bnck
It

swept

mingling

the

now

that

me

I was,

at

of

eries.
revmy own
the iron stanchion,

was

by
its

that

all safe,

night

in great

of

storm

plashes,

hissingnoise with

CONSOLATIONS

179

DIPLOMACY.

OF

it beat

furiouslyagainst the
of the lightson
motion
board
craft
what
showed
the different
was
a sea"
raging in the
in the city itself,the clatter of fallingtiles
bay ; while, even
of the gale. I stood
and chimneys told the violence
upon
the rain penetrated my
frail garment,
the terrace
as
; and
breaking crash of the sea,
The
rocks.
dancing, bobbing
the

as

"

and

wafted

wind

the

hair

wet

my

across

I felt

cheeks,

my

ecstasy that nothing in all my previous life had ever


of freedom
the burst
the sensation
equalled. It was
; it was
of

sense

the captive welcomes


delight with which
liberty. " Better this," thought I, " than
that ever
chamber
called itself a prison."
of

It

might
attention
a

be

had

chamber

in

hour

past the

was

noise

melodrama.

clank

that

snuggest
the turnkey

door

of

my

all that

scrupulous
supposed only essential

are

sentry had

The

the

outer

with

barred

and

locked
and

the

Already

long-lost

visit from

further

any

expected.

been

to

when

the

just

relieved

been

the

on

might consider myself


of interruption in
disencumbered
from
all fear
any
I sat down
the parapet, and peered into the
quarter.
upon
where
the hazy glimmer of the sentry's
dark depth below me,
the height. At first it seemed
terrific
a
lamp served to mark
drop ; but after a while I began to satisfymyself that the
esplanade beneath

darkness

the

contributed

accustomed

more

among
distance of
"

Thus
and

effect;

and

the

gloom,

than

scarcely
reach by making
more

parapet

place?

end

one

; but

how
risk

how

sentry himself?

then

all my

even

Never

portion

should
the

I venture

almost

This

much

spot,

to

was

consideration

might
efforts

chance
were

trace

of the

fifteen feet
a

the
on

different

sentry-box,

beneath

me.

of my bed-clothes,
battlement
of the

rope

of

sight grew

my
to

roof

descent

in

such

certainty of recapture by
and
formidable
difficulty,
; and

yet, were

to be

disabled

by

fruitless,since

sprained ankle, would

as

able

was

far I could

attach

other

so

others, the conical

objects,
at

this

to

to

that

terrace,

be certain

the
manded
de-

to select any

the

broken

fall,and
bone, or

ruin.

the clew
knotty point more
canvassed, nor
to a difficulty
for!
more
As
zealously searched
generally
in
such
first thoughts are
happens
cases,
best, and the bold
the safest.
course
By descending on the sentry-box,I should
was

180

CONCESSIONS

at least reach
have

tussle"

"

the

for it with

disadvantage of

the

without

ground

CKEGAN.

con

of

the

injury; and
guard, it would

if I

to

were

be

without

Besides
this,the
previous damage.
noise of the tempest, the crashing of the sea, and
incessant
the deep booming of the thunder
gave hopes that my descent
of jny
the sound
might be unheard.
Nay, more,
heavy
his
head
would
be
admonition
rather
to
over
an
body
stay
within
than
risk
himself
outside, to the danger of
quietly
of masonry
from the parapet.
The
tumbling tiles or masses
a

that the storm


this,the clearer I saw
upon
accident
Heaven-sent
for me
; that the darkness, the

I reflected

more
a

was

and

tumult,

favorable

most

would

be

at this

of

; that

streets

neglect such

to

madness.

downright

all accessories

were

occasion

an

If I took

of

time

some

the

escape

to arrive

conclusion, I made up for the delay by the rapidity


I hastilyreturned
to
subsequent movements.
my

my

; and

room

deserted

the

had

I been

could

counterpane

bred

sheets and
two
rope maker, my
fashioned
been
into a three-

have

not

more
handily ; and, my sailor's experience
rope
hitch"
round
favoring, I adjusted the cord in a "timber

stranded

of

one

might

well

battlements, and

the

myself
Cregan

Con

"

extremity,

the other

to

trust

satisfied
"

that

I
his

and

fortunes."
I then

took
it

that

lamp
four

papers
issued forth
A

hurried

burn

might
of value
to

cannon-shot

still remained

which

enterprise.
my
from
the bay rung

the terrace, and


upon
welcome.
I will not

trimmed

of my
room,
survey
till morning, secured

accepted
deny that

to

out

the
my

the
me,

as

augury
hands

three

or

then

and

again stepped

as

my

an

of

omen

trembled

as

examined, for the last time, the fastening of the cord ; nor
do I seek to conceal that as I buttoned
coat, the beating
my
of my

heart
for

was,

an

I could
before

with

heavily against
instant; and during

smote

short

have
me.

but

faced

death

The

weakness

fervent

slipped noiselesslyover
A

sudden

swung

me

itself rather

than

the

tated
hesiit

as
tainty
uncer-

passed quickly away, and,


I grasped the rope and

prayer,
the parapet.

gust of wind
out from

fingers. I even
my
that instant, brief

swept past

the wall

as

though

at

the

I had

and

moment,

been

thing

182

it tillafter

was

that

of

chance

any
I

lapse

was

the

on

over

CON

several

CREGAN.

that T

minutes

perceived
in a trap, the weighty sentry-box had
him from
debarred
front, and effectually

the

soldier

the

fallen

OF

CONFESSIONS

of

self-extrication.

to listen, but all was


still;he never
spoke
stooped over
by the shock, or he might have
probably stunned
word,
"

from

fainted

neither

the cause,

Whatever

terror.

ity
human-

my

to explore further, but, rising to


my curiositycared
to my inexpressible
delight,that I
feet,and ascertaining,

nor

my

uninjured,I set off at full speed toward


sea
suggested escape, and thither I bent
the matter.
on
thinking more

the shore.

was

I could

boats

pier,that
the harbor.
or

Malay
black

prison

with

of

as

fast

out

of

lights along the

the various

these,

no

ships in
what,

matter

Tunis

pirateor a
happy exchange for the

object,
a

without

way,

"

breath, when

came

up

ward
hastening onpeople who were
Two
heavily laden barrows
they could.

dozen

some
as

of

any

all my
have
been

Malaga.
run
myself

at

almost
knot

board

on

was

would

prow

I had

get

bound,

of

movement

rapidly leaving for

were

To

whither

the hurried

from

see,

my

The

luggage, and a multitude of cloaks,shawls, and mantles,


collected,from
pronounced them to be travellers ; and I soon
that they were
the expressions dropped by the boatmen,
for Leghorn.
gling
Minin the French
steamer
to embark
about
which
the darkness
with the group,
freelypermitted,I
the weather
heard a voice say, in English, something about
;
I
that
and
attentively, picked up
they
listeningmore
now,
an
were
English family hurrying to Pisa to see a son whose
failinghealth gave them no time for delay. I gathered,too,
have started till the next
not
should
that the packet, which
now
leaving suddenly ; the captain having sent a
day, was
with

to say that he had


message
ride out the gale so
than

The

travellers

peremptory
courier, who

had

near

with

got leave

to

put

to

rather

sea

shore.

mingling

were

summons,

determined

their

complaints

others

over

the

to

some

of

see

absence

this

at
of

his friends

their

about

inevitablybe left behind.


learn
that they
of their lamentings, I could
the course
the evening before at the recomnu'nonly engaged the man

league away,

and

must

now

In
had

dation

landlord, and

the

of

183

DIPLOMACY.

OF

CONSOLATIONS

had

him

scarcelyseen

above

couple of times.
In fact, except that he was
an
Italian, and his name
At last they
faello,they knew nothing about him.
the

the boat

jettywhere

it

whether

behind,

take

or

lay, and

were

them

on,

I could

now

leave

better

to

in the

hope

Rafreached

their discussion,

courier's

the

that

hear

he

effects

might yet

come

up.
"

He

's

before
"

fellow, and

smart

depend

sail," said a young


No, no," cried another,
we

till she

"What

's half

did

you

here

party.

hear

word

of the

Leghorn."

to

way
tell

the

he '11 never

"

packet

of

man

it he '11 be

upon

him, William?"

asked

elderly

an

lady.
"To

be back

by

six o'clock

said the

morning,"

to-morrow

first

speaker.
"
Ay, but in what language did you speak?
I said it in French;
"I spoke Italian, and afterwards
for
of English."
he does n't know
word
one
This was
all I wanted
and,
; I slipped noiselesslyaway,
I
distance
behind
waited
till
the party,
saw
retiringto some
"

them

descend

time, for the

party

portmanteaus
shove

to

off

was

"

the

to

end.

their

and
At

occupied
trunks

last, just

forward
given, I dashed
in Spanish, " Hold
fast

as

the

at

and
word

the

top of my

! wait

there

some

for the

"

"

's the matter?

What

asked

courier,Senhor," said

"A

This

boat.

numerous,

were

without

were

speed, crying out


courier

stairs

the

of the

one

sailor,

"

Englishmen.

wants

to

with

come

us."

knew

he

I have

"

on

styleand

cut

Raffaello,

shore

in the

detect

one

cell stood.

had

sharp

could

direction

glimmering
The

have

must
see

run

the
of

roll of

other;

he

for it ;

drums

"

and

away
sheepskin, which

belonged

rapid

my

from

black

great-coat of
I knew

the

belongs to
I, stepping lightlyover

signori,"said

"Pardon,
Seated

exclaimed

Raffaello, by George!"
'd be up.
Put back, men

"Oh,

passage

late

prison,and

part

of

the

beating

us."
the
we

wale,
gun-

from

lights on
at

last

building where
to

went

its

predecessor,

to my

of

"1

arms

was

the

could
my
soon

184

CONFESSIONS

OF

CON

CREGAN.

evident to me
that my
heard, and it was
escape
that the garrison of the fortress was
known,

had

to

recapture
whose

steam

heart

funnel, my
than

rather

tide

sailors

The
what

almost

be

was

retaken

going

forward

on

calm

my

the

was

their

around

relaxed
shore

have
and

into

the

ing
boil-

me.

their efforts

to watch

fervently did
Externally, however,

; and

demeanor,

very fear ; and

jumped

curiosity!

fire must

commotion

from

me

have

broke

once

conjecture that
such

and

than

maintained

within

I would

more

I, in silence, curse
I

sunk

swelled

that

alert

Although fullya mile from land, and rowing


twelve
of
sailors
stout
towards
vigor
a vessel
was
already whizzing through the escape

me.

all the

with

the

on

"

become

how

and

broken

ventured

even

in

out

excitement

the

to

fortress,

discernible

in that

quarter.
Another

suggested
had

that
occasion
to

made

the

of
possibility

his

escape,

prison

in

Spain, and

altogetherunknown.
the steamer.
Thus
chatting,we reached
already weighed
delight,the anchor was
the

mounted
and

sea,

clove

ladder

through the

; and

broached

she

than

like

water

reputed

was

To

took

of

instance

an

oner
pris-

some

which

ridicule,by averring that the Carcel

to

be the strongest

we

being

notion

"

its

sion
eva-

intense

my

scarcelyhad
head

round,

to

fish.

Every plunge of the great ship shook the strong timbers


tremble, sending a thrill of
her huge framework
and
made
that rolled
each mountain
With
wave
pleasure through me.
that no
of safety increase, and knew
chance
past, I saw
my
would
dare pursuit
manned
boat
by Spaniards,at least
"

"

in

such

storm.

I had

leisure

abundant

had
"masters"
my
retired to their berths,

since

only

time

for
to

these

get

on

tions,
reflecboard

by sea-sickness,
own
thoughts,
at full libertyto indulge my
that I was
so
the slightestinterruption.
and
dispose of myself without
that the family
maid
I learned
little French
From
a smart
from
recently come
that they had
called
Grimes;
was

when

they

England
with

thorn,

consisted
sons,

by

way
was

of

third

of

Gibraltar,

overcome

where

one

of

the

sons,

now

regiment; that the party


widow
a
lady with three daughters and two
rich,
They were
being the invalid at Pisa.

quarteredwith

his

CONSOLATIONS

OF

185

DIPLOMACY.

of

folks, very ignorant of the Continent, very


kind
of connection
credulous, and altogether a satisfactory
and
for a cunning French
a
rier
femme-de-chambre
roguish cou-

good

sort

fall in with.

to

upon with no
that
to understand

insisted
me

Her

sketches

of

due

management

time

in

back
of

of

reach

to

stair ; but

the

that

I felt my
unendurable.

in fine

day,

escape

to

masters

determined

the

thraldom

down

for

were

perfect

had

of

tasted

such

life,even

the

been

once

willinglyunder

story

the

such

by

glorious supremacy

revelled

in

the

mastery

rolled

along in my own
and
faring sumptuously every
menial
situation
a
degradation
in Italy, I would
that, once

laid

There

I had
I

linen

return

from

she

her

upper

that

myself,

chariot, clothed

of

I had

that

now

command

rules

enlisted

have

great household,

the

machiavelism.

I would

glad

"

Virginie

of

degree

control

and

domestic

when

banner,

small

amusing, while

little

not

chapter

latter fact Mademoiselle

self-gratulation,
giving
we
might have a very thriving career
in the same
vineyard.
and
English life,manners,
prejudiceswere

fellow-laborers

as

This

had

of

such

servitude,

what

come

might of it.
By long dwelling on the theme, I had contrived to impress
myself with the most profound conviction that I was a muchinjured individual,

Spain, was

with
angry

that

fair

for

ground

diplomatic notes,

and

grievance
with

sworn

at

not

was

Highgate,
and

Scarcely were
San

sink

down

than

and

not

be

to

arrived

we

"

what
with

man
a

of.

"

for

war

flare-up,"
threats

such

of

rious
glo-

courier, to wrangle

flirt with

thought

destined
the

knows

into

and

sufficient

parliamentary

That

landlords, bully waiters,


rumble,"

the

should

Heaven

outraged Foreign Office.

our

if not

case,

my

the

"maid

felt that

for the inside

of the

in
I

was

ling-carriage
travel-

out."
at

Leghorn, and

installed

at the

began to prepare for my emancipation,


bold step, considering that all the available resources
a
I
a
possessed was
ruby ring,set round with brilliants,which
I had
concealed
in my
I was
cap along with my
papers.
admonished
time
in my
to lose no
departure, by remarking
that another
packet from
Malaga was
expected within a
week, which probably would
convey the rightfulcourier, in

"

Marco,

186

CONFE88ION8

search

CREGAN.

missing baggage, and I was


by no means
with the real Simon
Pure.
being confronted

not

am

CON

bis

of
of

OP

with

that

sure

this latter

in the

consideration

since

did

sirous
de-

weigh

not

the

tion
novelty of my situaof its creature-comforts
and the sense
might have induced
to linger a little longer in a capacity even
humble.
me
as
such
With
people as the Grimes's, the courier was supreme,
his rule despotic. From
and
the hour
at which
they were
how
to dine, to what
to eat,
to spend
they were
they were
what
to see, and
the day, what
to avoid,
all at his
were
the landlord
came
a perfect volley of
dictation; while from
who
civilities that plainlyshowed
the real personage
to
was
most

me

matter,

"

"

whom

adulation

/ fed
""

I luxuriated

Chiante,"

the

For

Gorgona,

for

wry
La
the

the
the

in my

even

on

chicken,

faces

over

Rose

or

their

Cham-

oysters of Venice,
delicate
Val

dessert, till I

my

rarities that

with

of

Becafica

ransacked

was

reserved

of

dined

Chateau

on

were

delicious

Pistoja, the

dreamed

table

my

"sardines"

fresh

Piscia

If my masters
they made
; while

ortolans

upon

bertin.

due.

was

of

mutton

d'Arno, while

rounded
myself surgreat days I scarcely
saw

of.

There

was

kind

of

abandon,"

"

too, in this mode

of life

of irresponsibility
a delightful sense
pleased me well,
pervaded everything I did or imagined.
The courier knows
nothing of that hesitation which besets
his master
at the thought of some
costly indulgence. He

that

"

neither

doubts

have
may
bribe even

the

bespoke

against

the fish intended

himself.

denies

nor

the

for

The

he

post-horses, but
Czar

himself, and

cardinal's

Friday

knows

would
dinner.

Russia
how

advantages

He
"

when

caution

admonished

to

me

to

intriguefor
is haps
pernay, he

only traveller who is indifferent to the bill,


gloriesin its extravagance, as increasinghis own
I was
beginning to see and appreciate all
the

even

of

Emperor

escape.

centage.
perthese

The

already at sea, and might arrive


the territory.
I had evacuated
ere
I only waited, then, to see
family snugly housed at
my
I proceeded to tender
resignation. It was
Pisa, when
my
ment
vanity to see the distress my announcevery flatteringto my
about
to be
created ; they evidently felt like a crew
real Raffaello

was

doubtless

"

"

CONSOLATIONS

deserted

OF

187

DIPLOMACY.

the

pilot in a difficult navigation. They were


but indifferent linguists,
and worse
travellers ; and I almost
casioned,
repented of my resolve as I perceived the dismay it oc-

by

full

the

witness, since

"

they discussed
the old
"

It

from

which

admitted

was

to

supposed ignorance of English


the question very freelyin my presence.
my

he say he 's dissatisfied with

Does

"

of

measure

his situation?

"

"

asked

lady.
is difficult to

make

out

what

he

Mamma,"

means,

replieda daughter.
These

"

fellows

observed

to

remarked
"

subaltern.

the

"Or

with
engage
the second
son.

had

We

better

better than

French
This

by
To

appearance.

forward,

You

eagerly.
and
"

if it be

the

find out
that

sub.

"He

; he

speaks

not

get

accepted
was

"

individual

in

as

compliment

at last acceded

to,

question made

his

of

understandingwhat
patient silence,not even
turning
where
the family were
now
grouped

what

we

increase

he '11 not

That

in the

an

greater consequence,"

semblance

any
I stood
in

Say

"

tutor, Mamma

delay, the
avoid

to

are

for the

brothers

two

my head in the direction


around
the " Dragoman."
"

of

albeit

the

brief

people

do."

we
"

after

went

send

proposition

to themselves

and,

always intriguingfor higher wages,"

are

he

wants," said the old lady,


perfectlysatisfied with him;

are
"

"

sou

receives

with

more

my

already more

consent," broke
than

captain in

line."

that
I never
had
much
to spend at
as
only know
Cambridge," echoed the other.
They are always extravagantly paid," said the elder
daughter.
creatures
"The
such
give themselves
airs," observed
"

"

number
"And

me

two.
when

they

all

able,"
well-lookingthey're intolerbroke in number
three, who had been coollyscanning
through her eyeglass.
The
tutor by this time had
tions
evidentlyreceived his instrucin full, and

room

adjoiningthe

are

at

beckoned
saloon.

me

to

follow

obeyed

; and

him

into

small

scarcelyhad

the

188

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

CREGAN.

out into an
than I started, and broke
us
upon
individual before
of surprise. The
involuntaryexclamation

closed

door

me

than

other

no

was

first

my
hand

friend, the kind

youth

who

of my career,
at the very outset
by the
the student of Trinity,Dublin, named
Lyndsay.
I had
time
As I perceived that he did not recognize me,
enough to observe him well, and mark the change which
had

taken

me

twelve

than

more

His

premature age.

in his

sunken, and
that stood
I could

In

worn

dulled, his cheeks

was

there

manner

Though

was

that

him

into

pale

and

hesitation

timid

cool effrontery.
of my own
in the presence
of thought and reflection was
easilythat the man

see

before

selfish

was

eye

upon
exertion had

abashed

succumbing
I

mental

anxiety and

still young,

him.

wrought

had

years

the

enough

man

to

low, diffident voice

of
revel
he

action

and

of

the

triumph.
proceeded to ask

world, and

in the

me

if there

anything in the nature of my situation that induced me


I had given the fullest satisfaction.
to quit a service where
of my long black moustache,
I repliedby an
easy caress
to
and a certain expressive gesture of the shoulders, meant
that did not
of a nature
that my
objectionswere
convey
rather questions of delicate
admit
exactly of discussion,
personal feeling than of actual difficulty.Hinted that I had
rarelyserved anything less than a royal highness,and feared
of degenerating
be likelyto injure myself,
that I should
into an easy and familiar
by associatingwith those
manner,
level.
so
nearly of my own
in the pale cheek of the student as
the blood mantle
I saw
he listened to this impertinence,and
thought that I could
mark
the struggle that was
passing within him, while, in a

was

"

"

calm, collected
which
to

he

could

leave, of

tone, he
not

course

said

give
no

any
further

that

those

were

opinion,and that
objectionswould

questions

on

if I desired

be

offered.

where
a most
teous
courMight I ask," added he, with a manner
I ask what
the
are
politenessprevailed, "might
in your condition
of life?"
of a person
qualifications
11
1 think," repliedI, " that I appreciate the meaning of
humbly
your question. You would ask by what right a man
menial duties, can
to mere
aspire to the position
born, educated
"

"

I am
the pay a courier claims.
willing to tell yon.
be familiar with the geography of
begin, then : He must

and

To

190
of real
real

secure
can
knowledge,
independence than myself ;

"

marketable

better livelihood

and

the

of

and

more

is, mine

reason

purchasers in every

find

that

wares

CREGAN.

CON

OF

CONCESSIONS

arc

class, and
'

have
society. My lord must
the rich cotton-spinneror the barrister
must
so
his wedding-tour. The wealthy dowager, the blooming
on
for ' distraction,'the young
widow, the ex-minister travelling
the prelate,the banker, the
heir journeying for dissipation,
ever
ruined
mill-owner,
all, howduke, the newly enriched
want, and
differingin other points,agree in this one
who
will think for them
and speak for them,
must
have one
bargain and bully for them, assert their rank and importance
wherever
they appear ; so that of the obstacles of travel, its
know
little as
difficulties and contrarieties,they should
as
Loudon
and
Croydon."
though their road lay between
"
how
Still,it is a puzzle to me," sighed the young
man,
Even
these people achieve the attainments
a
you speak of.
both
to require
smattering of such knowledge would seem
time and
study."
"They have but a smattering,"said I; " yet it is gained
exactly in the very school where such small proficiencygoes
will one
cover
'the world,'
and which
farthest,
day disyou
of knowledge, its tests of ability,
has its sources
ay, and
and
its degrees of honor, marked
out as palpably as Oxford
versity,
Cambridge. There is this advantage, too, sir,over the uni-

gradation

among
every
his courier ;

'

"

"

"

"

in which

the track

"

for you ; you


while in ' the

must
'

's

; there

expanded

stray

not

world

you
to

are

to travel is marked

the

rightor

the field of direction

path

for every

one,

to

the

out

left,
"

is wide, open, and


if they '11only look

for it."
started

He
flushed
those

as

words;

said these

"
I remember
up, he said,
from
words
a
poor
very

He

country.

was

settingout,

stock

his whole

and

in

life

as

as

his

cheeks

a time
hearing
upon
in
friendless boy
own
my
he said, to seek his fortune,
once

the

was

and

hope inspiredby that

sentiment."
u

And

"I

what

he

home,
"Then

learn.

enlisted

into

disappeared suddenly; and


regiment abroad, or died at

He
some

ascertained."

never

"

of him?

could

never

whether

became

can

tell you,

sir,
"

he

now

stands

before

you,

the

whom

same

once

whom

child

friendless

! the

kindly succored
protected and

so

you

191

DIPLOMACY.

OF

CONSOLATIONS

you

houseless,

sheltered.

am

Cregan."

Con

Lyndsay as I said
them
again, rubbed
last, rising

at

of

"Then,

This

was

As

he

was

as

you

of

old

warmth

madly

was

bent

agreed

we

retired

to

bed

office

of

an

he

meanwhile,

making

both

by

hands

to

was

mail

morning

for

the household

had

charge himself

with

when

hour

life,and

story of my

the

explanation

an

ately.
I, affection-

friendship.

at

to meet

said

me

departure by the

my

on

shook

to learn

eager

name?"

Lyndsay,"

now

cried,

and

warmly,

my

forget it,Mr.
he

Genoa,
the

my
remember

enough, and

all the

with

hand

grasped

up,

never

poor

this ; he sat down, closed his eyes, opened


them, stared at me, tried to speak, and

course,

I could

"

of

the bewilderment

describe

difficult to

be

It would

family,

the

to

and

requiredmy presence
at Paris without
delay. This agreed upon, we separated.
entire night we passed in talking,for he insisted upon
The
had
hour
from
the
adventures
we
parted
hearing my
very

informing them

in

company
seated

that

down

Dublin,

together.

of

questioning,

at

least

It

that

acquaintance

with

the

to

moment

times,

at

but

remote

had

doubt

my

of

As

own

him

that

assured

of,
my
as
were

was

and

that he

immediate

to my

sufficient

accepting
he himself
his

diligence.

said,

parting

"

of

one

words

as

and

when

natural

finallyI
with

the

that every
shade
longer entertained

nigh,

requirements
had

he

my
I ascended

turned

; and

of
a

the

although I

already disposed

wants, he

hundred

I resumed

when

tone

I possessed

knowledge

banker,

no

the

statements
my
he discovered
my

; and

drew

ring, which
my
for all immediate

loan

from

countries, their habits

veracity.
hour
of
separating

the

subject

vanished,

then

were

of

gradually, as
languages, the

productions, this incredulitygave way


produced the letters of the Havannah
receiptsfor my instalments, he showed
hesitation

we

accepted several

various

of different

urgency

evident,

was

he

doubtful

as

of

matters

insisted

upon

dollars,to be repaid,

countship."
to

the

roof

These
of

the

.ukmi .Dis.AmcKEs

/ *

i.
.

__

^OBAin[KB",..X8Xl
NEW

'A

WILL

WALK

not

trespass

IN

PROGRESSIVE

on

my

LIFE."

reader's

patience

with

journey, nor ask him to form acquaintance


of
those
with
whose
pleasant travelling companions
any
fancies
whims,
lightened' the road.
caprices, and
merry
of
in all its
The
a
diligence is a little world
company
of my

details

the

selfishness, apathy, trustfulness, credulity,and

of

features

It has

unbelief.

its mock

humilities

and

absurd

pretensions

glaringly displayed than every-day life exhibits


them.
fair specimens of
were
Enough, then, if I say ours
the class ; and when, on
arriving at the Messageries Royales,
the
heavy " conveniency
deposited us in the court, we
shook
hands
all round
were
ere
separating, like people who
well
at
pleased when
together, but yet not broken-hearted
the thought of parting.
And
I found
now
myself at Paris, that glorious capital,

even

more

"

whose

very

amid

the

brilliant

even

the

poor

he

has

heaved
as

could
this

thought

what

have
tribute

in

might
rolled
to

of

champagne

heavy sigh

one

brief

man

share

some

once

atmospheres, and where,


side,
on
objects so lavishly thrown
every
forgets his poverty, and actually thinks

air is the

the

the

gorgeous

from
have

the
been

along these

verjT bottom
the
same

him.

around

scene

condition
streets

of

my

heart

in which
;

and

past, I trudged along towards

with
the

"A

NEW

WALK

PROGRESSIVE

IN

on

All my
the part of the

hope lay in the prospect of


English Government, and

an

indemnification

for

Embassy.

After

little

some

part of

where

room

quais de

Place,"
and

passports,
enter

inner

an

the

demand

of

slight catechizingon

the

in scarlet

livery,I was admitted


people, chieflycouriers and

of

assembled,

sre

who

where

with

heart

obtain

to

summoned

were

chamber

length,and,

at

""

and

delay,

number

interference

an

loss.

my

bulky porter

193

LIFE."

from

time

My

swellingto

or

time

to

turn

La-

"

signatures

the official sat.

almost

to

to

came

suffocation,

I entered.
"

England, I suppose," said

For

with

black

he sat

moustaches,

reading his

pale young

from

looking up
Galignani."

"

not

No, sir,mine is not a passport case.


charge against the Spanish Government

"

and

gentleman,
the table, where
here to make

am

for false

ment
imprison-

spoliation."

gentleman raised his head, and stared at me


fixedlyfor a couple of seconds, and then, in the most silvery
of accents, said, "Be
good enough to repeat what you have
The

young

said."
I did so;
of

the

have

adding,
of my

youth

another

name,

sprang
whence

room,

time

some

Count

"

up

don't

rid of him

to

want

I could

at

'11be

He

once.

back, you

hear

attention

may

possibly

Cregan."
loud

deeper
bore

to

hastened

shouts

and
I

fellow, and

the

see

occupied the

his chair, and

from

immediately proceeding.
"No, no, Barrington," said
"I

has

case

my

Foreign Office for

heard

The

As

"

laughter

older

an

advise
us

of

you

day

every

into

voice;
to

get

of

the

give him the slightestencouragement."


is there reallynothing in his case?"
But
"
Nothing whatever ; he is a downright impostor."
"
But
Puzzleton
certainlycorresponded with him."
"Of
he did, to prevent the Opposition making
course

week,

if you

"

handle

of

his

case

whole

thing

go on
absurd

smoothly

like this."
VOL.

II.

"

13

'

the

House

'

but

trumped-up charge,

was

with

disturb

to

in

our

the

Madrid
relations

he

and

soon
as

we

the

saw

want

Government,

it would

for

of

the

sake

to

be

fellow

194

CONFESSIONS

that's

"Oh,

of
11

man's

to hold

need

the

trippingwhen
of him.
Say

CON

the
do

would
him

of

well

as

if

"

wanted

we

another

as

always

can

faint

mering
glim-

diplomacy.

other;

we

over,

CKEGAN.

attache,catching

machinery

sure," added

that
no

it," said

the secret

be

To

OF

; but

there

is

Spaniards

the

catch

ance,
griev-

it.

My advice is,therefore, get rid


in the form
that he must
embody his statement
of a memorial, supported by whatever
he can
adduce
in the
of evidence
lead to
a
can
personal interview
; that
way
nothing; and, in fact, dismiss him in the usual way."
And
with these lucid instructions,
given in a tone far
the attache returned
too loud to be diplomatic,
to the room
want

we

"

"

where

I waited.

"You'll
said

have

reduce

to

Cregan,"
writing,Count
his back
to the fire,and assuming an
thing
somequite that of a Talleyrand,

he, standing with

air that he fancied


in the
have

"

to

"

was

of

form

this

"

memorial,

done

already

understand."

you

said

unsuccessfully,"

so,

I,

shortly.
wasn't

"Ah,

aware," sighed the young

gentleman,

king
stro-

acknowledged

the

his moustache.

Secretary

The

"

receiptof
Ah,

"The

I,

indeed
state

!"

and

of

echoed

at

Affairs
time

one

held

out

with

Spain, however,"

grievance just then,

hope

some

the other.

relations

our

requiring

"not

Foreign

statement,

my
of redress."
"

of

added

case

my

was

naturally shelved."
He

started, bit his lip,and

"
being ill at ease.
I proceeded, "no
as
what
barely sufficed
Opposition members.

because
Good

the moment

lost my

if you have
of individual

"Be

gained
wrongs,

unmistakable

fact," resumed

further

notice

take

to

I
was

cause,
yours.

and

my

not

"

case

favorable
but
that

The

rather
is

signs of

I, growing
taken

was

assumed

was

diplomacy, perhaps,

sir,I have

which

In

evinced

out

to

of

of

the

be

an

to believe

lax

warmer

than

me

hands

of

impostor,
me

honest.

morality. Now,

quite evident

; let us

see

is the great vindicator

press
I '11 make
its columns

struggle shall be decided."


instant,
good enough to wait one

the

arena

in

this

"

take

seat,

"A

observed

Count,"

the
he

of tones, while

time

This

more.

whisper reached
"Your

hastilyretired

into

conversation

was

After

me.

in his very
the inner room

gentleman,

young

the

to

195

LIFE."

seconds

few

low

so

politest
once

that

not

re-entered.

he

inquired into, Count, and


the Spanish minister at this court.
staying here ?
will be

case

made

PROGRESSIVE

IN

WALK

NEW

tion
representaI ask

May

"

where

are

you

*.*I have

yet taken

not

up

my

residence
with

at Paris."
"

the

police?
I bowed
an
assent, while a sudden
thought flashed across
"
of the country!"
out
The
to send
me
me.
They mean
attache had
twice said " Good
it,
morning," ere I remarked
well
with a hurried
and
leave-taking I quitted the room,
of the folly into which
fit of passion
a
aware
momentary
had
betrayed me.
offer
It was
at once
palpable enough,
my passport would
an
expulsion : I was
English subject,
a
ground for my
travellingon a Spanish passport. I must, of course, expect
ledged
to be disowned
by the Spanish minister, and not acknowby my own.
I sauntered
This was
out into the
a
sorry beginning, and
What
I to
streets in a very
was
depressed state of mind.
not
four
do?
I had
above
at a low
ebb,
My funds were
"

passport is of

Your

course

"

"

hundred

in the world.

francs

Into what

could

career

1 throw

obtaining a livelihood,avoid discovery?


I knew
various things,in that smattering sort of way
which,
and
aid
of
the
often
succeeds
with
the
by
puffing
notoriety,
the very thing I most
world ; but yet notorietywas
!
dreaded
There
was
nothing for it but to change my name.
Many
while

myself, and,

would

doubtless

need

"

they
the

not

mere

me

my

great

whole
my

very

life.

In

darings.

energy

that

adventurer,

hour, without

had

Take

that

sustained

living

purpose

It

or

me,
on

and

from

ambition.

humble

that

and

struggled through
lay the whole impulse

name

from

make

to

was

toiled

obscure

that

great sacrifice,

any

very

identity.
that

one

not

was

poignant sufferings; but


clung to my name
through all
of
fortune, as though it
my

any

be wrong.
I had
changes and vicissitudes

name

the

cost

would

embodied

my
of

have

this

that

say

me,

and

sunk

day

to

took away
you
down
into the

day,

I had

and

borne

hour
my

name

to

196

OF

CONFESSIONS

passages
very lowest
other
to contrast
these

of

in the
or

of my

hours
be

it

half

so," thought I,
it, and

of

call

there
nationality,

he

if there
assert

be any
that I

need

do

head

my

"

Affiches

loupe
Lyons

of

corner

the

to

the

as

to

third

to

as
a

man

placards and
story,

Nor

it the

the

single glance could show


taking in everything, from
chamber
of

sweeping

"Bureau

the range

of

; from

gilt
des
mere

tisements,
adver-

in Guada-

estate

an

foundry

in the Rue

passage
all the

with

universalitya

Marais

in the

announcements,

great board

was

and

Goguenarde, exactly

to the

; and

this moment,

at

proclaiming

entrance,

neat

I '11 keep

difficulty.Whenever

the Rue

with

for all nations.

pretence,

Corneille

Well,

"

compromise,

musings

my

covered

street

letters,over

it !

If
says he is from the Basque.
he calls himself an Austrian.
So I,

from

the

myself at
opposite a house
the

of

brilliant

credit."

me

found

from

the

abandon

Monsieur

little

be

with

in my regular verbs, will coolly


irregularities
brave
am
a
Beige and a subject of King
if humility be a virtue, this choice of a native

Leopold ; and
land ought to
I raised

I must

now

myself

German,

bad

speaks

periods

clay

one

Spanish, he

indifferent

talks

fortune, hoping

and, by way

"

CREGAN.

my

dark

And

destiny.

CON

Rivoli.

at

All

toilet,remedies

cheap appliances of the


against corpulence,perventives to extreme

emaciation, how

to

the

medicine,

of

nostrums

ballet-dancers,
and
him

ladies

even

get rid of it,governesses,

to

"with

suitable

"

something applicable to

be

I ; and

wants," thought
of

knots

and

men

gathered
Some

runaway

were

around

or

of

some

means

of

large

in search

child

I entered

women,

cheap apartments, or
road
going the same

of

great

of

but

the

Professors

some

of

modes

"

and

jewelry, a
inquiring for
or

travel with

greater number

livelihood,

what

of

rope-dancers, frail

several

of advertisements.

missing spaniel;
:

must

conditions,

and

lost articles of dress

economical

of

varied

where

room

ranks

different

tablets

all those

in

me

were
a

art, science, and


every
journalists,poets, tenors, gardeners, governesses,

were

portions

all at the command


great personal attractions,"were
There
rich enough to indulge his indolence.

surely

were

hah", how

grow

little damsels

who

others

in suit
purhost they

language
aries,
mission-

performed

as

198

CONFESSIONS

but

individual

an

OF

holds

who

CON

CREGAN.

always in readiness

himself

at

the fourteenth
dining-hours of his neighborhood, to make
at
of
table, where, by accident, the unlucky Dumber
any
thirteen should
be assembled,
wella
party which
every

the

"

would
otherwise
with.
scruple to sit down
person
sir,is a quatorzieme ; and here is a gentleman desirous

informed

This,

disposing of his interest in such an enviable property."


the necessary
To
tions,
qualificaquestion as to what were
my
in a kind of duet, by volubly recapitulating
they both answered
needed
but a suit of black, and
that nothing was
clean gloves ; unobtrusive
and a moderate
demeanor
tite
appeto a high professional
being the certain recommendations
and
I saw
to eat little,
the chief requirement well,
success.
of

"

talk less ; to
salad ; never
to
to

"ordinaire:"
francs.

It used

"

was

have

no

his eyes.

thirteen

fired at

days

two

reward

but

these

anything ; I
on
a
Friday,
afterwards

'

"

for

'

was

ten

it

the

even

the

king
nothing can

sure,

it; but

the

nowadays

known
be

to

save

the Tenth

canailles

have

the

said the old

of Charles

the time

In

"

for

reverence

nor

the

duties;

with

go out
drink

Napoleon, Monsieur,"

Napoleon

ministry dine
was

to be

entree,

an

the

were

and

the soup,

of

partake

these

wiping
always

man,

in with

come

them."

teach

old

The

gentleman

most
grew
which
he was

communicative

on

the subject

quence
only abandoning in consethe difficulty
of ascending to
and
of the rheumatism,
siasm
He depicted with enthudinner-partieson a high elevation.
he
the enjoyments of a profession that demanded,
as
from
removed
all the
observed, so little previous study, was
vicissitudes
of commerce,
nerative
pleasant in practice,and remuthe possibleadvantages
in pay.
He also insinuated
could
who
handsome
to a young
and
scarcely fail to
man,
and decorous
secure
a good marriage, by observing a discreet
demeanor
; and, in fact, he represented his callingin such a
the liveliest curiosityto enter
light as at least to give me
it for a brief space, and while
meditating what future
upon

of his

steps
That

"

walk,"

should

la

Forge

in life.

afternoon

same

porter'swindow
de

take

as

of

very
"Monsieur

saw

announced

myself

shabby-looking

house

Corneille,"

the

de

"

at
in

"de"

the

the
Rue

being

"A

NEW

by

my

advised

all

that it was

vocation

in my

important
in

the

world.

mysteriousness about
that might permit the

me,

when

his old friend

as

out

not

was

escaping notice.
sometimes
writing
"

for

banker
firm

the

at

the

them,

though

as

press

which

have

often

haunt

which

fear

is

time, that he
jealousies of

guarded

as

This

letters

deterred

to

me

write

who

between

not

forgotten

after

day
the

of

sad

the

rival ;

the

for

and
some

fretful

the

fessional
pro-

hope

day,

world

for

of

early struggles

watches

him

When

feast.

unknown

some

the

me

for the toilet ; and

black, waited

austere

the

to

the great

to

or

postage

vacillations

nervous

fortunate

the

be

were

desk

the

of

records

the

"

"

rarelyventured

to
them, but I continued
the cravings of my
hope.

invite

should

life,

strangers

of

feed

perused

of

cost

evening drew nigh, I abandoned


having arrayed myself in most
summons

to

Estaban,

Don

to

or

The

most

to

they

; now,

Havannah.

despatching

from

dinner-table,

the

at

Guajuaqualla,

at

certain

royal personage.

be

desirous
time, since I was
I passed all my
mornings, therefore, in
memorials
to
a
minister, sometimes

of

statements

were

told
not

be

fact, I should

In

condition

hard

at
"

though I

against publicityas

appeared

to

him.

with

should

There
I

I should

that

speak of me
de So-and-so, who

host

Baron

the

to dine

even

toute

"

abroad

much

seen

199

LIFE."

PROGRESSIVE

IN

predecessor, " Quatorzieme pret a


I was
opened my professionalcareer.

thus

and

heure,"

WALK

depression

over

failures ; the eager watching lest the footfall on the


the wearisome
stairs stop not at his door, and
sinking of the
his

own

heart

as

silence

the

to

his

of

the

unused,

unasked

tortures

who
I

There

between
within

of

attainment

in

sleek
my
Sometimes

had

passion,
entrapped me,

who

had

fit of

I became

him
a

that

knowledge

"

had

long
now

bravery."
the

and

fortune

and

the

ardently

lies "a

to learn

rust,"

what

"What

that

indolent, and void


grown
almost
stupid by long

half-famished

impatience would
my
in which
I railed at the
at

to feel

not

him

are

his

call him.

till the world


all my
exterior

I had

toiled

has

who

leave

distance, and
If

despair.

for, unwanted,

waits
sat

in the

away

own

of

corroding regrets
for

die

the sounds

deserted

creature

break
old
me,

contrast

out

knave
at

into
who

myself,

enterprise. Sometimes
reflection,and would sit
of

to

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

200

CREGAN.

of everything; and
night, unconscious
I would
actuallylaugh outright at the absurdity
sometimes
could
have
I ever
assumed
calling, wondering how
of my
it.
fool enough to embrace
been
of its superstitions
out
had evidently grown
world
The
;
a

the

of

hour

late

republicanism and socialism, and


notions by which men
persuaded
thieves, and
knocked

down

the

poor

pinch

themselves

salt

of

over

the salt-cellar ; did n't


of
boat
a
fairies might make

they

down

sat

thirteen

seek
doubt

custom

gains, had

monarchy.

Men

their left shoulder

when

pierce then- egg-shell,lest


it ; and

so,

among

ancestors

our

dinner, careless whether

to

the

many

abandoned,
party

were

thirty.

or

might

well

as

try and

old villain knew

the
his

the

easy
the rich are

the

of

and

astrology,"thought I, " as
to trade
superstitionin this unbelieving age ! I
upon
another
if all Paris contaius
quatorzieme than myself ;

"

of

remains

other

of

free

that

idol besides

they upset
the

other

just inheritors

mock

many

threw

longer

no

the

all the

'

goodwill'of

the

revive

trade

he sold

ruined, when

was

me

the business."

deepest and darkest


abyss of these
a
evening, when
heavy down-pour of
gloomy thoughts one
the sorrowful
wind,
moanings of a December
rain, and
wearied
such
added
a
spirit. It was
melancholy to my
would
have
ventured
out
who
could
have
night that none
I

in

was

the

very

the humblest

claimed

roof

to shelter

him.

The

streets

were

already
perfectlydeserted, and, earlyas it was, the shops were
The
for the night.
to and
closed
lamps that swung
very
fro with
the wind, looked
hazy and dim amid the sweeping
with the dreary cadence
of a
rain, and the chains clanked
gibbet.
needless
of
to go through the ceremony
it was
I knew
"
Better
face all the imaginary
dressing on such a night.
the real danger of a
of a thirteen party than brave
terrors
I reasoned
so
this,"
; and, in all the freedom
in a frame
of my
tattered dressing-gown, I paced my
room
this in Paris,"
of mind
despair. "And
very little above
storm

like

cried

I;

saloons,
all the

"

"this
"

at

the

city

this very

giftsof genius,

where

moment
ami

women

in
"

are
more

gilded

hundred

some

met

men

beautiful

brilliant
and

more

in

"A

NEW

WALK

PROGRESSIVE

IN

201

LIFE."

Wit
and polished
fascinatingthan the houris of Paradise.
bright glances and soft smiles, are now
mingling
raillery,
and
the glitter
of stars, and
diamonds
amid
crosses,
; while
thousands, like me, are actuallyfamishing with hunger,
some
fire to thaw the icicles of despair
too poor
to have
a
even
the heart !
that are gathering around

"

"

been

it not

Had

condition

humble

same

better

the fascinations

of

all I

! this

No

of

moments

of

had,

if I

me

to which

could

not

lived

all I

could

and

pine after
There

to.

agree
for

suffer

delicious

the

me

of

memory

tasted

them

ever
for-

were

some

repaid me

and

them;

depth of evil destiny I might yet be reserved,


with

in the

on

born, than have

was

riches,to love

had

gloriousprosperity that well

my

or

for

for

whatever

to

I should

carry

happiness. Con

once

my
himself

the
light-hearted
again ! Con,
life offered
of
vagrant, the passionate lover of whatever
pleasure,of beauty, and of splendor, who only needed a
his existence a
good cash account with Coutts to make
fairy
tale
! I forgotfor a moment
that I lived in a mean
chamber

Cregan

the

"

was

"

"

"

"

"

with

graced

was

and

window,

broken

with

fireless grate,

meal!

bed

chair, to sit upon

A
and

voice

the

at

time

same

resembled

without

which

dexterity of a juggler!
sharp knocking at my door

the

that

cried out

The

not

was

door

opened,
perceivewas

could

Corneille

de
"

have

that

bumble

brave

him

honor

meditations,
the

in the

entered.

Come

"

lord,
land-

darkness.

the

by

even

stranger,

said

these

"

figure,which

of

lives here?"
the

to

sorry
and
a

never

"board,"

name.
my
it might be

in," said I, authoritatively.I fancied


and

that

smashing, required

short

cut

table

"

gloom

Monsieur

he.
to

be

that

individual," responded

I.
"

Have

you
confounded
"

You're

but take

care

"Let's

got

light?

no

I have

smashed

my

shins

across

chair," said

he, querulously.
all safe now," said I; " keep round
of the

have

rat-trap

light,mon

by

the

wall,

the corner."

near

cher," said

the

other, half

coaxingly.
"I

never

have

snuffinga candle, and


Russia

and

her

light,"said I;
can't endure
tallow."

the

"I

detest

glare,hate
thought of patronizing

202

OF

CONFESSIONS

"

Could

44

Fire

n't

have

we

What

CREGAN.

"

then?
bit of fire,

Christmas!"

before

Tobolsk?

CON

exclaimed
talks

Sybarite

of

he.

asked
I.

"Are

fire in

Paris

in

we

this

at

season?"
"

other:

"can

violence
"

ambitious

reallyam

seeing you, Monsieur," said


this object without
not
compass
?
feelings

we

of

any

"

to

your

"

Have

the

cigar-case? said

you

I.

"Yes."
"

Well, strike

set fire to

of

you

light; and

make

thus

can

here 's
an

letter which

inspectionof

you

by

me

'

may
inch

"

paper.'
He laughed pleasantlyat

held

by the aid of which, as he


rapid survey of the chamber
the

"Of

head, he took

its contents,

friend," said he, "this

truth, my

and

his

it above

myself being

it boasted.

movable

chief

lightedthe letter,

conceit,and

the

apartment has

nothing superfluousabout it."


Cool and airy," said I, calmly, " with a magnificent
view
and chimney-pots."
of red-tiled roofs
"
it be an
would
And
impertinence to ask if you
you
limited
condescend
to the restriction of anything more
ever
than that very gracefuldressing-room?
I ; " only be good enough to
Oh, certainly! exclaimed
this time the stranger's
say why you ask the question." By
"

"

"

"

"

torch

burned

had

exclamation
we

were
"

said

pain

of

from

mere

he, "did

so

close to his

he threw

as

it

fingersas
the

on

ground,

of

motives

idle

simply, having

ask, but

inquiry with

the

cause

and

an

thus

Monsieur,"
curiosity,

at
company
direct object.

come

dinner

request the pleasure of your


made

to

in the dark.

more

once

Not

down

My

name

here

to

to-day.

is Paul

de Min6rale."

novelist,
distinguishedwriter, the inimitable
"
of the ' Curate's Niece,' The Path
the delightful
composer
through the Vineyard,'' The Rose of Auteuil '?
tion,
said he, cuttingshort my enumeramuch
I am
flattered,"
"
of my poor producardent an admirer
tions;
to discover
so
but, as time presses, will you be good enough to
"Not

the

"

"

hasten

your
will take us

toilet, for

nigh

an

my

hour

"

cottage

to reach."

'

is

near

and
Belleville,

"A

NEW

WALK

proceeded accordingly
while

visitor

my

chieflybearing upon
of

could

; nor

age

himself

he

departed ?
"

all.

"

with
with
de

Can

be

are

his

the

astonishment

first and

only

the

Ballet

the

are

refuses

with

grave

the first entree

blandly
playful over

roti ;

the
as

the

and

dessert

its course,

waiting for
I blaze
the drawing-room
agreeability."
What

ment
amuse-

learning

on
"

client.

is that

"where

scepticwho

and

soup,

soothing
gentle sadness

much

offer

to

What

'ancient

modern

could

an

faith'
"

induced

have

"

that's

deities,and

to believe

with

agreeable conversation,
life,the changeful passages

philosopher, I perceive,"said
Only before dinner," replied I. " I
You

tume,
cos-

an

think, ought

he;

in cleaner

so

and

rare

resistance

take

my
cried

203

openly disparage the gods ?


theology has been changed," said I,

my
Bourse

The

"

myself

array
up

conceal

men

Though

he must
"

was

live in !

we

he

to

line of

to

LIFE."

PROGRESSIVE

kept

my

which, he seemed

that

IN

in them."

he.

speculative

am

'

petit pate ; reserved


my
communicative
after the piece
the
so

'

or
asparagus
into
descend

I leave

appears.
mocha
my
forth
in

soft

the

peas ;
and

digestionto

maraschino.

and

all

the

vividness

In
of

for
evidently intended
and
a foreground figure to
prefer the humble
shadowy part
of a
?
said
in
quatorzieme
he,
surprise.
that
"The
'Res
Dura'
man's
crosses
destiny,and
every
a
spice of that spiritof investigationwhich teaches one to
explore very unwholesome
depths and
unrewarding
very
regions, a blending of that which made the Czar a carpenter,
and Louis Philippe a teacher of mathematics."
Ah ! that reminds
me," interposed he, " that I ought to
will honor
put you on your guard. To-day a Royal Prince
with his company.
There
us
and a
are
a couple of ministers
general. The rest of the party are of the artiste class,whose
wound
susceptibilities
nalists,
; authors, actresses, jouryou cannot
and
danseuses, however
touchy in the great world,
With
this he
are
angels of good temper in small societies."
proceeded to give me a nearer
pany
insight into the kind of cominto which I was
to be introduced,
a
society,so far as
' '
I could learn, that a rigidmoralist
more
might have deemed
'

'

one

so

"

"

"

"

fair than

honest."

learned, too, that

I owed

the distinction

204

OF

CONFESSIONS

of my invitation to
Due
de St. Cloud

CON

between

CREGAN.

his

Royal Highness the


host; the bet being that De
"
and
Minerale
to find out
was
a
quatorzieme
bring him
to
for one
not
to begin till after five
dinner, his search
o'clock p.m.
that no regubeing fullyconvinced
; the Prince
lar
"
Your
practitionerin that walk any longer existed.
dear sir,"continued
he, "is worth, independent
presence,
my
of your
of the charm
conversation, fiftyNapoleons ;
of which
one-half
I must
beg you to accept;" saying which,
he gracefully presented me
with
whose
a
pleasant
purse,
descended
with
sensation
into
bably
indescria
weight
palm
my
soft and
soothing.
All this time we
were
rattlingalong towards Belleville at
a rapid pace
although the rain swept past in torrents,
; and
the
the lightning flashed, and
wind
the strong trees
tore
from
their roots, and strewed
the ground with their gigantic
and
limbs, I sat in a re very of sweet
delightfulfancies,
the only alloy to my
ecstasy being a passing fear that at
Can
this be real ? Am
each
shot through me
moment
I
:
awake?
faculties that
has long fasting so weakened
or
my
party
this is but a delusion ; and instead of hastening to a dinnerto a prison,
with a royal guest, I am
speeding onwards
These
fancies, at first but fitful
or, mayhap, a madhouse.
and at intervals,became
at length so distressingthat I was
the very point of communicating
them
to my
on
companion,
and comfort, when
drove into
and asking for his counsel
we
almost
and
then
small
a
immediately drew up in
avenue,
of light,stood three or
front of a porch, where, amid
a blaze
arrival.
in gaudy liveries,awaiting our
four servants
Well, Paul ! cried a young, fashionable-lookingfellow,
success?"
what
with a very imposing black beard,
cried my companion.
Have
here he is !
I 've won,
I much
time to spare?"
"
Something less than two minutes," said the other, as he
Paul."
Present
coollysurveyed me through his glass.
me,
Mons.
de Corneille."
"Mons.
Alphonse de Langeron
"
ing
Fancies
The
author of the
by Starlight,' said I, bowwith a most
respectfuldevotion.
"Guilty, sir! and of fiftyother indiscretions to the full
as
great," said he, laughing.
wager
and
my

"

"

"

"

"

"

"

"

"

"

'

"

206

CONFESSIONS

OF

CON

CREGAN.

bull-fighting,
cookery, dress, literature,duelling,
politics,
tion,
the ballet,horse-racing,
play, scandal, naval tactics,coloniza"
dry-rot."
cotton-spinning,music, railroads, and the
I was
profound, playful, serious, jocose, instructive,and
Madmlle.
de la Bourdouaye, the first
amusing by turns.
"

the

of

actress

criticism ; the
of his

Francais,"

"

poet

of

cavalry
begged the

enthusiastic

"

evolutions
favor

he

of

had

aide-de-camp

told

in

himself

"

hold

whisper, to
following Wednesday.
These

in the
Mexican
Rose

Jasmin,

St. Bernard

drawing-room,
;

of

Grand

the

mastiff

with

the

; rolled

up

me

me

at

dramatic
my
recital of a stanza

with

the very
the
his

best

judge
great painter

studio

; and

the

distinguished soldier
myself disengaged for the
a

"

umphs
of greater triprecursors
where
I played and sang
eral
sevthe

danced

ballads

at chess

statesman

all, but

after

were,

my

met;

ever

visit from

Prince's
me,

at

general pronounced

; the

own

charmed

was

the

Bollero

with

Madmlle.

Op"ra ; and lassoed a Mount


bell-rope. After this, beat the
for the ladies,
Indian cigarettes

fashion ; told various


anecdotes
taught
of my
prairieadventures; and wound
up all by concocting a
bowl
of
at once
the astonishment
ponch a l'Ammcaine,"
I must
suffer myself to dwell
and
the delightof all.
not
speak of that supper, with its
longer on this theme, nor
champagne and culembourgs, its lyricsand its lobster salads,
with
ortolans, epigrams, seductive
smiles, and maraschino
The
for it was
less
lasted
no
orgies
jelly. Enough.
till nigh morning ; and
when
from
we
arose
table, a pale
streak
of coming day was
the margins
struggling between
to sit squaw

whom

"

"

of

the

"

curtains.

CorRoyal Highness will set you down, Mons.de


neille,"said the aide-de-camp, advancing to me.
together, I accepted
Blushing with pleasure and shame
could not be declined, and proceeded to take leave of
what
kind
host and
his friends.
Cordial greetings,and flattering
my
wishes
to meet
soon
again, met me on every side, and
with civil attentions.
I retired actuallyoverwhelmed
"
Do we
said his Royal
pass by your quarter, Monsieur?
Highness, as I took my seat in the carriage.
have
I would
given all my worldly wealth, and expecta"His

"

"A

NEW

WALK

tions to boot, to be able


dome

the

or

with

and

unabashed

easy,

an

Forge, near
Prince
bowed,

The

; but

of

took

and

help

no

was

knew

host
said

for

it, the

address

my

that

Ven-

in the

lodged

St. Parnasse.

Mount

notice

no

I could

that

thought

air, I

the

la

de

Rue

out

207

LIFE."

that I lived in the Place

to say

Royale ; but there


one
day, since my

Rue

would

murder

PROGRESSIVE

IN

read

of

the

ment
announce-

kle
peculiar twin-

very

aide-de-camp. I might have easilybeen


mistaken, however, for I felt myself on my trial,and thought
accusation.
How
gratuitously I tortured
everything an
vinced
myself, subsequent knowledge of life has repeatedly conin the eye

me

sufficient to

which,

sever

upstart rich

some

humble

my

abode

ample
I

Indeed,

fact, since
and

de-camp

the

was

the

in

would

the acknowledgment

man,

have

been

forever, to the Prince

us

whether

meddle.
the

to

significancethan

other

no

while

; for

of

the

the

or

the matter

it suited

that

had
with

means,

my
had

he

reverse,

shock

right

no

in doubt
sorry to remain
difficult negotiationbetween
the
not

coachman,

who

had

never

much

so

to

upon
aideheard

as

evinced
unhappy street, his Royal Highness never
surprise whatever, but sat patientlyto the end of the
any
word
the
discussion, without
a
vouchsafing even
upon
subject.
of

my

"

This

chasseur,

at

the

length;

the old

where

be

must

It
left

and

we

sat

reading

porter

peeling carrots

was

at

was

the

first moment

the

same

spot

lacquey

let down
The

at the

said

21,748,"

up at the well-known
on

one

of confusion

my

steps,

veneration

royal liveries
but

drew

number

side, while

the

door,
his wife

the other.

but

the

lowly

house,

and

the

cheek
and

I suffered, since
was

offered

of the

in
me

flame

his

old porter,

emblazoned

the

as

to

arm
as

I had

scend.
de-

he stared

panels of

the

riage,
car-

servility
sorry compensation for the mock
of the chasseur, whose
to look through into my
eyes seemed
very heart, so that I actuallydid not hear the parting words
was

of the

Prince

Curious
sank

pang

of

the

as

anomaly

deeper

Prince's

into

adieu.
scorn

equipage drove
! the

my
How

than

away.

half-insolent

spiritthan
much
to the

more

balm

the

glances of the lacqueys


smile of the
flattering

alive is
of

nature

our

kindness

These

to

the
were

208

reflections

my

seemed

limbs

upon

have

night, I was far too


I have persuaded myself
set myself to
I therefore

couch.

whether

the

brilliant

lately mixed

would

remain

in

the desolation

of my

life,or

wonder

distinction.

and
think

should

French

say,
if there

were

despatches that
A. quick step
ear

few

almost

and
of

at

shaken
ami

! I have

the

sum

is

in

several

ask
"

no

an

am

family

of

which

"

me.

so

what

; or

to

me

Who

knows,"

handsomely yet,
if the Mexican

acknowledge

claim

my

in my
cause,"
of the issue!

I be

high

so

door

at

up

instant

my

story, so

as

thrown

was

about

wager
I

curious

am

you

bound

am

in

Emile

your
honor
not

is your

Irishman,

were,
guesses
native country ?

and

to

name
my
is but
my

the

cover

listened,
my

host

Having

Corneille,mon
; and

although
if I

am

de

to tell you

still at

what

libertyto

"

derive

Cornelius

Cregan.

my

Gency and
which
nationality,

but

and

ascertain

to

and

Montserrat

de

caught

open, and
the room.
"

the

to convey

that

dispute last night about

assumed

I had

emboldened

should

stairs

another

opinions

you, what

future,

powerful in Spain. Napoleon


tent
Pyrenees ; I should be con-

was

the

my

the

in which

enlist the Prince

certain

trifling
one,

bet.

bumble

so

over

behave

may

and

but

on

sleep,

'

once

Jules

had

myself

it

them
only a good road over
might assert my just right."

made

the winner.

our

think

into
preceding evening rushed
with
hands
me
cordially,he said,

the

ended

seek

to

for

brightness amid
guide-starto future greatness

property

were

upon
ascended

ever

excited

success

man,

"how

There

'

to

true

always

influence

much

yet deserted

not

If I could

"

late

of my
a

again,

thought

hitherto?

present squalor?"

my

scene

the

Spaniards

the

be

"

him?

upon

used

but

"

restitution

make

banker

this

its isolated

be

My

had

that Fortune

thought I,
and

or

all

up

could

and

portion
"Is
it

now.

me

endured

splendor,

recent

my

"

Although
a

to

every

that crazy old chair, and


stretched
my
?
Can
wretched
it be real ? or which is
that
pallet

delusion,

even

that

"

chamber,

in

reallysat

CREGAN.

my humble
doubly miserable

possible,"thought I,
Have

CON

I entered

as

of which

the

OF

CONFESSIONS

disgrace

from

the ancient

Christian
of

my

name,

altered

fortune."
"As

to

our

wager,

then,

we

were

all in error,

"

none

of

NEW

"A

Ireland.

guessed

us

station, I need

regrets of
to hear

curious

are

being

your
we

endured

forfeited

forever.

unhappy story, I

very

of birth and

man

agreed."
I, with a deep sigh;
well enough, if unalloyed

condition

all

were

be

209

LIFE."

otherwise," said

were

the

by
you

to

position might

humble

As

scarcelysay,

it

"Would
"

PROGRESSIVE

IN

WALK

If

willing

am

to relate it."

couldn't

do

me

eager
"First, then, we'll

to

"You

like

himself

then, with
have

one

listen.

have

breakfast," said I; "and

some

good fire and no fear of interruptioD, for I


shall hear my
acquaintance in Paris,
you
beginning to end."
devilled kidneys,
and
and
cutlets,champagne

not

greater favor," said he, seating

"

one

"

historyfrom
Chocolate

their

brioches, sardines, and coffee, made


rapidlyas though such delicacies were
in

more

once

beheld

narrative.
my
if I ventured

me

earlier facts

beneath

the

generous

of

to

draw

of

what
had

cabin

baronial

satisfied

to

state

merely

altering the

World,

which

pretty nearly
for

reasons

ascribed

to

my

And

this of

rather

felt

certain

other

"

On

this
and

course

you
portion of
more

n.

"

14

the

above

was

But

why

necessary
of

my

to

career

as

after
were

tance
great inheri-

originallyfrom

in," said my friend, who


story less interestingthan

failed
my

stirringpassages.

",he contrary," sajd

rot.

of

they happened,
journey to the New

my
search

belonging to my family, who


Andalusia, and grandees of Spain.

it not

seat

in rags : I
poor and
rich and well-nurtured.

birth

my

was

the

generous
if I invented

harm

placed

offended

been

not

great

ancient

meal, and
feel

If it was
weary
my reader with such a recital ?
raise the foundation
on
fiction,the after-events

"

never

imagination for

Irish

an

call it the

to

me

roof

Cregans ? She started me


repining,and called myself

was

had

our

not

my
had

Fortune

myself?

thatched

must

upon
Nature

history.
my
article of a father

for

one

daily
glowed

blaze

inhabitant

began

we

reader

The

of

in the

me

cheerful

oldest

preparationsbeing made,

opened

to

the

grate where

; and

as

fire.

These

with

steep stairs

these

mounting

appearance
habit of

in the

I, " I succeeded

I not
perfectly.

210

the banker

discovered

only
w:is

but
deposited,

and

received

amount

necessity."

sum

mercantile

After

and

hands
claim

most

family wealtti
satisfactorily,

gold,

with

bills to

my

houses, besides
for

which

slightsketch

little embellished

very

my
in

important balance,

an

CREGAN.

in whose

very large

CON

established

various

on

hands

"

OF

CONFESSIONS

of

leavingin

had

immediate

no

progress,
I narrated
my

"

capture at Malaga exactly as


detail of
occurred, circumstantiallyrecording every
date

and

Europe

to

voyage

I could

they

my

dowu

remember

his

Mexican

my

exaggerated,

or

high

to the very

name

of my

moment

reaching Paris.
"
One questionmore,
my dear friend,"said M. Paul, after
some
as
closelyargued as
fiftyvery searchinginterrogatories,
the cross-examination
and

more,

and

done.

I have

about

liberty I am
gratifiedwith
man

of

to

I know

take,

candor.
my
is there one

man,

"

law.

at

you '11not

nay,
Tell me
"

word

downright moonshine,

not

counsel

of

sheer

One

be offended

feel you

question

'11 be

frankly,
truth in all

invention

at the
even

between

as

this,or is it

from

beginning

to end?"

legs,my face crimson with anger, but, as


right,sir,to
suddenly recovering myself, said, " You were
over
bespeak a degree of command
my feelingsbefore you
if I cannot
this freedom, which
Ventured
altogether
upon
pardon, yet I will not resent."
"
So it is true, then," said he, with a degree of melancholy
I started

to

in his voice

could

"

Of

"

Sorry to

not

fathom.

is," rejoinedI.
hear it; deeply,sincerely
sorry,
it

course

repliedhe,

my

in the self-same

one-half
you
"Sorrow!

manner;

"I

that's

"

cannot

all,"
to

express

disappointment."
"
I.
disappointment!" exclaimed
May I ask
to be
what possibleinterest you could have in supposing me
an
impostor and a cheat?"
"
Hard
names
these," said he, laughing, u but I will
explainmyself. If the story that you have just told me were
francs a day to write
fiction,I could give you three hundred
feuilletons

of

for

my

the

'

D^bats.'

invention, you 'd be worth


'

If one-half
two

say you stole the


admirably for the ' Mode.'
the

'

Presse

hundred

of
on

it

the

were
*

even

Siecle

'

or

material, and you 'd stilldo

"A

Are

"

NEW

you

ignorant

"

WALK

that

the

the

operations of genius
think of composing an
of

would

turning
he

glazier,were
having

fixed

of

future

his

skilful

and

which

could

labor.

build

to

than

that

the

of

supervision

he
and

contrary,

proportions

with

walks

the

would

man

the

has

to

more

On

himself

competent

constructive-'
and

direction

he

engaged in actual
in fiction,selectinghis

master-builder

no

determined

practicablewere

is he

Thus

house?

several

himself

be

not

manufacture

himself, any

surrounds

in all the
to

things

of labor

carpenter, slater, locksmith,

edifice, he

reserving

uess,

entire work

the site, and

hands

division

that, nowadays,

mason,

upon

thousand

of

arts

common

; and

about

hundred

211

LIFE."

principleof

grand

itself from

extended

with

conversant

so

"

PROGRESSIVE

IN

artificers,storing his materials, apportioning the quantity,


in public taste, and
keenly watching the variations
ducing
proat

last

fertile and
said

enabled

am

torrid

the

of

draw

to

the
in

zone

life under

so

I to

say

'

Debats,' and
'

and

of

upon

my

Cregan,

quick

; and

my

well

unassisted

I want,

remark, and

to

as

knowledge

own

join my
you, then, will you
I preside?"
which

fiction-foundryover
"
Were
I but capable
"
We
You
are
eminently so.
craft of authorship,
more
no
in the factory is called
wool

writing of

Icelander

range
my
and
discordant

draw

convulse

while

an

the

at

like you,

sharp, ready-witted dogs


"What

the

various

they wonder, were


may
But
it is men
faculties.
report.

in

stare

aspects

This,"

"

journal, I have

Men

of.

capable

ever
how-

"

"

tears

one

brain

one

this is my walk.
By
for it is mine, and
mine
only,

Constitutionnel

'

no

be

proudly,

up
"

in another.

hero

could

"

discovery,

laughter in

with

variety that

assiduous

he, drawing himself


aid of this

the

and

mass

"

shrewd,
quicker to
in the

corps

"

"

"

it into

weaves

the

gloss for

year,
'

at

every
"A
"

free
La

cloth.

sale !

admission

Trou

Sunday

aux

Let

me

What
to

Bois

say
every
'
"

need

no

the

than
on

to

no
literaryability,
child who
picks the

direct

finish the

the

you

that

article ; I '11 give it

Five thousand
you ?
theatre in Paris, and
where

loom

dined

francs
a

dinner

yesterday
"

"

bargain," cried I, in ecstasy.


Concluded
by both parties,who

thus

acknowledge

their

212

CONFESSIONS

hand

and seal," cried

your
less

residence

OF

CON

CREGAN.

he, tossing off a glass of champagne;


the table, he prepared to take
and
his
then, rising from
leave.
"I conclude," said he, "that
you'll not continue
here

Seek

longer.

and

heaven,

to

near

much

out

accessible

more

quarter

some

to

human

poor

nature."
I

promised

follow

to

the

advice, and

separated: he to
editorial snuggeries,and
we

the cafe's,
the
repairto his haunts,
other gossip shops of Paris; and I to seek out a more
genial
conmore
abode, and one
befitting the favorable turn
which
had
Fate
now
imparted to my fortune.
The
afternoon
of that same
installed
in a
me
day saw
pleasant little apartment overlooking the garden of the
Luxembourg, and where, from a little terrace, I could inhale
the odor of the orange
blossoms, and see the children at play
and the waving of the tall
amid
the plashing of fountains
"

grass.
artiste

It

quarter of the

discovered, the

as

was,

whole

nists,
poets, painters, actors, sculptors,feuilletoit difficult to ascertain the
and caricaturists; nor
was
tions
modificafact, as a certain extravagance of beard, various

class,

"

of

hat, and

themselves
of

at every

brown,

hat

and

russet

and

retrenchment;
had

but

ask

to

my

and
"

weeks

had

the

barber

career

to

thin one
every
novelists
The

it

wear

suit

for

as

left

only

impress

"

to don

in

whose

presented
the livery

trousers

Resolving

full-faced
every
a bad
Vandyke.

stamp that makes

and

appearance
my
boots to match;

for several

seclusion

coats

moment.

race," I made

my

of

peculiarlycut

beard,

me

man

straight across,

life

task of

the

services
me

coffee-

of

invoked

artiste

with

that

mock

"Holbein,"
below

and

square
Monsieur
of
plate

This is a
Eugene
chin, sir,"said he.
Sue; but there is a certain dash of energy about Monsieur's
of
beaute
a kind
insolente,' if I may be pardoned
eyes
"

the

'

"

the

phrase

May

"

I venture

"Use

your

that

would

to trim
own

the

warrant

Monsieur

as

Salvator

discretion, Monsieur

responsibilityis great, and


suggestion."

I will

have

known

"the

To
from

say that
tiis hands

I could

is no

not

beard

to

be

Rosa?

pointed.
"

Palmy re," said I;


not clog it by even
a
myself

en

arising

changed
exaggeration,so perfectly

had

214

CONFESSIONS

exhibited
it for

the

drama

grand

bare in the
worth

As

l'Opera. If one
a
l"Y:ui";ais,
burlesque was

the

much

so

of

line for

All

midshipman's

which

craft,"

eertain

Le

"

Voleur"

low
fol-

to

iuter-

near

that is laid
made

"

or

out

venal,

L'Espion."

intercourse
but

exhibition

of

Woe
editions

to

masonry
he
when

tion.
heavy retributhrough three

went

romance

whom

failure, any

as

met
self-gratulation

whose

ject
every subday ; and as

on

each

quizzed

the

play,
dis-

audience

called

for

at

his drama!

of

and

moustaches

portion of our guild,being for the most


general society,they bore a grudge against

in

always

affected
dressed

and

and

talked

with

in

male

freedom

that

; and

all smoked.

in their faith

sported
in

other

the old

than

Saint

little

the Bois

Like

all the

above

high

rose

mannishness.

of

many
man-fashion

Socialism, and

de

verts,
con-

believers,

Simouianism,

little

prejudices

fosters.

great crimes, such

quite

airs

attire ;

chin-tufts,rode

Communism,

ordinary life

thousand

Boulogne, fought duels


they went farther

unknown

of it all was,

and

the worst

The

conception that
simple fact was,
chose

Paris

to

and

perfectlyfamiliar,
St.

shock

as

among
the Code

and

the Law

Faubourg

of

for

the fairer

sex,

With

order

much

as

fortnight,or

part ostracized

right,and

the

full

him

unto

in

for

within

tacitlysubscribed

was

vanity or

conclusion

were

"

the

were

Everlasting badinage

the

to

was

Some

They

completelygladiatorial,not

was

everybody

on

success

their

each

defence.

for

and

As

berth.

it.

entered

If

brought

tions,
any sulking,or dreaming of resenting these infrache might as
well try to repress
the free-and-easy

the

the

de

ture
carica-

to

sure

was

to

habits

of

CREGAN.

Palais-UoyaL Every little trait that


familiaritydiseloses,every weakness
freedom
ol
friendlyassociation, were

and

and

CON

Louvre* another

Passage

at

it at the
eourse

at the

statue

OF

he

was

us,

walk

Honore,

merely
or

were

by

their

enormity,
vices practicable
widely popular ;

to have

the beau-ideal

not

even

the

seemed

none

assumed

we

not

all

Napoleon

all its varied


"

the world

low

very

under

that.

forms

of

that

life I

city which

St. Germain,

not

of

the

test
remo-

morality.

standard

soon

of

became

occupies the
the

Paris

of

"A

NEW

WALK

Boulevards

the

language
the
of

dissimilar

varying and
was
judged

move

that

what

; how

measure

the

of

legs

with

Quartier
I

the

"

with

every rumor,
to the latest gossip of

said

the

the

thought, in each

and
; how

each

political

public feeling for


"

many-headed
; and

thus

the

or

Ministry, or

became

this

satisfied

were

of

measures

danseuse

new

I heard

sections

was

the

whether
dissatisfied,

down

the world

what

populace.

the Minister

of
"

Coulisses

its

or

of its lowest

the cabinet
"

but

Batignolles, the Cite, and the Pays Latin.


tional
dialect,from the slang of fashion to the conven-

every

from

Palais-Royal only,

the

St. Deuis,
knew

the

or

215

LIFE."

PROGRESSIVE

IN

the

very

perfectionof a feuilletoniste. There is but one secret in this


of the
speciesof literature, the ever- watchful observation
it is considered
that this is a
Parisian
public; and when
"

public, the task is

not

quite

This

and

watchfulness,

from
of

general world,

the

said

have

certain

it

are

was

excitement, if the

all the

requisites.

onward

of

ceasing flow of stimulating thoughts, could


for happiness, I might have
been, and ought
Still,the whole

contented.
world

all
our

what

conviction

the pen,

in

no

utterlyindifferent
every

and
of

unreal
mind

bears

miserable
him

the

we

its

own

of

mind

should

unreflectingand

even

all

the

was

our

ments,
judg-

was

of

unfrequentlypronounced
Bravos

though

become
to

cease

all around

bestow

and

of
were

the blow

sceptical on
credence

on

false,hypocritical,

natural

enough ; but this frame


the
weighty retribution,and not even
solitude like
superstitious fear dreads

demands

torrent

not

should

we

ourselves, was

victim

whose

only

been,

pretended seriousness

struck,

we

That

believing that
as

sufficed

have

to

blessing in another.
principlethan our pay,

at whom

subject ; that

all the

journal, we

one

other

fatal.

prove

anything,

with

heaven-sent

had

we

unreal, but

have

never-

hopes, fears, anticipations,


dislikings! Our antipathieswere
mock,

denounced

to be

Not

unreal.

ourselves

if eternal

speculations,our

our

we

heartfelt

should

for

likings and

very

and

made

had

we

was

shrinks

emotions, the

new

it.

reserves

life ; and

amusing

rush

deem

the conventional

to

most

would
easy as some
that never
hardihood

sacred

however

theme,

any

so

of

the
new

unthinking.

constant

ideas, that

stimulant
whirls

of
him

course,
inter-

along,

216
It will be
but

in

the whole
rank

to

such

and

narrative

They

company.

used

riches

for the Greek


synonym
then- disbelief infected

and

wealth;

of my

story

CREGAN.

all my

that

easilyseen

little faith

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

myself met
jected
unhesitatinglyre-

The

worst

and

calends.

future

my

employed

be

to

of

tion
restora-

kiud

as

of

all this was,

of

gradually began to
the guide-star
look upon myself as an impostor. My hope
and
iu many
that cheered
a dark
began
me
gloomy period
and
I felt that ere
to wane,
long all those aspirationswhich
me,

even

"

"

had

spiritedme
that

each

daily sun

my

extend

would

horizon

and

lie cold

in life would

on

sunk

to

than

further

no

show

To

rest.

within

dead

and

discontent

any

me,

where
with

slightestdegree any misgivings


to taste,
did not give laws
La petite Presse
would
have been high
morals, jurisprudence,and legislation,
To
treason.
imply a doubt that we held in our hands, not
evince

walk, to
my
of"
that we

alone

in

"

would

Paris, but of Europe,

of

the destinies
"

the

have

been

rank

priest,the journalistcan

the
mark

of

ink,

the

fingers,will

Macbeth's

and

outrageous

never

unfrock

out."

"never

of

For, wearied

alone,

my

least,except

at

"

I have
said

he,

and

the

and

I 'in your

man.

"

masses

are

of

'

of

Death

with

of

Wolves

Jules

de

Meanwhile,
and

newspapers

for

Lady

then, could

little truth,

fleeting.
morning to the

and

he

"Wait

him!
on

step into my
which

Paul

friend

my

Tavanne

letters

Like
The

on

secretaries, to whom
one

no

'Attack

this

finished

had

he

dictatingby turns,

three

blood

What,

calling,I yearned
short
for a new
glimpse of reality,however
Full of these
thoughts, I repaired one
Trou-aux-Bois, where
fortunately I found
do?

heresy.
himself.

the

than

tenacious

more

tion,
of all civiliza-

"

was

till

Caravan/"

by Poison,'
study ; there
you

can

read

freely."
He

did

weak, and
did

soon

detain

not

Apparently the wolves were


strong, and
off, and the poison was
half an
in less than
he joined me
long.

me

beaten

soon

its work

for

hour.

My

me

more,

exaggerated
even

listened

explanation was

went

or

the

high-flown
of

patiently,and,

astonishment.

without

length

to

in

the

He

what

prised
sur-

nothing

saw

difficulties I started, and

confessing

that

many

of

my

objec-

NEW

"A

occurred

tions had
what

"

certain
which
life

be

done?

that

you

will

fight?

caprices and
'

As

it is

because
above
with

an

the

Accept

it is the

best, but because


all,be slow in changing a
The

best

form,

To

aspect.

do

'

and

so

impracticable
find it,not
you

just as
as

only policy; and,

where

it suits

met

is, that the

you

desire

mankind

observe

this he assented

have

you

affected

now

and

your

the wrong

penitentiaries;

career

half

only
indulge the
malade
nable
imagipoisons ; as an

vend

is

for

cause

not

the

it is the

course,

my

other

some

other

on

the

practice if you

world

proof that

always

you

'

'

of

jails and

chapter. Optimism

dangerous.

life in

some

will be

devise

public think so."


Being determined
see

the

the

would

success.

justice of

complainings
apothecary, you would

of the

the end

soldier,are

your
really afflicted,and

foster

then," said he,

But

"

lawyer, and is not


right and defending

where

the

architect, you
as

Become

; and

mind.

own

217

LIFE."

PROGRESSIVE

If you
turn
in the
concur

passed in arraigning

Try medicine
prescribe for

to

his

to

is to

you

IN

WALK

to

under

freely,and,

after

discussion, suddenly bethought him of a letter


"You
he had
received
that very
remember
the
morning.
the first day you
at dinner
Due
de St. Cloud, whom
you met
moments'

few

spent here?"
"

Perfectly."

"Well,
take

to
not

he

high

since

returned

letter from

him, asking
You

secretary.
The

duties

in every

way

of
Paris
The
a

are

me

fancied.

for

to

recommend

to

fill the

received

I have
some

one

office of

among

his

private

for the appointment.


exactly the man
light,the pay liberal,the position agreeable

and, in fact,
which

show

him,

myself, this

for

one

who

the Boulevard
the
!

proposal overjoyed me

post

day

are

the world
cannot

This

France.

to

literary acquaintances

my

de

ordered
off to Africa,
aware,
you are
a few
militarycommand
days after, and has
as

was,

desires

to

Gent

and

du

opportunity is
Had

I been

thing
some-

the Cafe

first rate."

called

exactly the thing I

was

see

on

to invent

should

have

the novelty of
campaign against the Arabs;
events
life of adventure, with
a
country, people, and
; a
these were
the very crowning
prince for my companion,
.

"

desires

of my

ambition.

218

CONFESSIONS

"

'11 write

lust

iii

express

one

and

when

so

often

heart
lifted

and

CREGAN.

will

there
not

be

mail

for

shall

moment

application."

not

my

CON

day

very

evening,

the

kindness;

had

this

up

this

making

could

Paris,

it

about

made

Algiers

OF

had

half
I

my

again
the

regained
me

above

all

the

gratitude
turned

buoyant
troubled

for

this

tune
opportoward

steps

my

elasticity
waves

of

which
life-

be

"MOI

ET

PRINCE."

MON

Jules

"

less

than

the

fortnight after

Janin.

interview

just recorded, I received a letter from De Minerale,


to
himself, and whose
enclosing another, addressed
royal
Minerale's
seal at once
De
was
proclaimed the writer.
only a few lines, thus :

I have

"

"

Dear

which

C,

I forward

"

will

you

see

enough

to secure
your
the instructions

the

'

Freres,'at

that

the

you

'

have

we

Duke's
been

in

in

Lose

appointment.
contained

time,

not

it,and

note, by
my
fortunate
and

replyto

'

dine

me

Yours,
"

Duke's

almost
epistle,

our

have
suit

My

Dear

friend
since

De

the

'

Minerale,

Quatorzieme,' whose

been

much

well, being a
and, if I mistake

me

But

campaign.

Of

"

of

not, well

it strikes

me

never

see

truffles,that

In

some

de

M."

in the

Oran.

perfectly

journalsI

respects he would

ness,
spirits,
great readiof a
fitted for the rough usage
that if his position be such
as
animal

high

represent it,the exchange would


you
This is a land of few pleasures and
We

lucubrations

with.

amused
fellow

I remember

course

P.

to the effect

equallybrief,was

"Headquarters,
"

to-dayat

seven.
"

The

in fulfilling

moment

with

be
no

champagne

anything
luxuries.
is

only

but
Tell

profitable.
him

that

tradition,and,

220

except

Moorish

than

pair of

his fortune, and

Count

on

will find

du

trust

Vergnoble,

everythingin

'

to

and

'

razzia

'

for his

be

willing

be

to

call

de la

Guerre,' where

he

appointment
his commission

in my
will not

Chasseurs-a-cheval ; and as he
regiment, the
he
for duty,
on
might as well accept an appointment
other
will at least give him
forage for his horses and some
13th

own

ties.
beau-

no

still

rest,let him

also receive

can

have

we

"

for the

Mini.stere

readiness

of their faces

more

us

anger,
drawbacks, he

the

at

it,he

he desire

Should

"

dartingfire

"

CREGAN.

show

never

if,despite all these

Yet

tempt

damsels, who
eyes,

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

called

that

advantages.
"Send
and

you
the

Rue

all the

me

Alphonse

things that

new

doing.

are

and

Ponchaule,

the

'

Mes

bike

"

are

tell

out, and

amities

'

to

what

me

fair friend

our

indiscriminately

to

"

in

all the

others.
"

Yours

affectionately,
H.

"

You

call him

"

it for the Minister

I read

and

Comte

Le
:

is this

re-read

the

Creganne,' and
right?"
de

"lettertill I knew

by heart ; and then, dressing myself with


the importance of the occasion
suggested, I
office.

; but

on

It

not

was

-sendingin

my

the

name,

hour
which

of

degree

drove
his

I did

written

sentence

every

it

Minister's

I have

so

St. C.

de

off for

usual
as

of

Le

of
care

the

tion
recep-

Comte

admitted.
at once
Creganne, I was
and
all smiles
His Excellency was
affability,
praised his
in
so
greatly honored
Royal Highness's selection of a name
flatteringcompliments on my
literature,and paid me
many
with those
writings, which, by the way, he confounded
others ; and
then, after a variety of civil
of half-a-dozen
inquiry as to my
speeches, gently diverged into a modest
"
live in days, mon
We
native country, rank, and fortune.
which
cher Comte," said he, laughing, "in
high capacity
talent happily take
and
lineage; but
precedence of mere
has
illustrious personage
always insisted upon the
an
still,
of
the
the person
necessity of those immediately about
that you
I am
quite aware
princesbeing of noble families.
condition
of the kind, and ouly desire such
fulfil every
can
information
as
satisfy his Majesty."
may
I repliedby relatingthe capture of my property at Malaga,
of
all the title-deeds
other things,contained
which, among

de

"

222

OF

CONFESSIONS

CREGAN.

CON

made
in my
honor, what
toasts,
speeches were
of
that
would
have
prefaced by all the exaggeration praise
for the
been
lurking diablerie of fun that
fulsome, save
What

future

then

and

every now
then there

achievements

half-satirical,
"

the
a

very
laurel

of my

one

pictured in a
peculiar eau sucre,

Frenchman

most

upon

knows

of

my

of

"

the

brow,

them!

And

songs, in which
my
vein half-flattering,
with
how

to

triumphant moments,

prettiestactresses
crown

midst

and

sonnets,

were

that

lemon, that only

in the

forth

odes, and

were

During

burst

Odeon

squeeze
concoct!

of

when

of

"

were

two

placing

cabinet-messenger

was

repairat once
official letter of appointment, as
with my
to the Tuileries
his Majesty, by some
accident, had forgotten to append to
it his signature. Apologizing to my
worthy friends for a
be devoted
to
should
me
brief absence, which
they assured
which
of my
character
those
virtues
my
expatiating on
1
and
interdicted them from enlarging upon,
arose,
presence
announced,

and

presented me

with

an

order

to

"MOI

left the

and

dress

my

It

room.

was

to

necessary
and

appearance,

223

PRINCE."

MON

ET

bathing my temples in cold water,


far as
might be, into a condition

the disorder

arrange

made
and

hurried

composing

fit to

meet

of

dressing,

myself, so
the

eyes of
the while,

royalty, two of my friends accompanying me


and
lending then- assistance to my toilet. They at length
perfect, and I drove off.
pronounced me
Although already past midnight, the King, with several
of
members
the royal family, were
seated
at
tea : two
of
the ministers, a few general officers,and a foreign ambassador
"

being of the party.


Into this circle,in which
I

was

de

rank

of the

introduced

now

by

"

it

Majesty,"

said

themselves,
"

Comte

Le

he, twice,

the

ere

him.

heard

Ah, very

smile

nothing to inspireawe,

was

illustrious personages
the Minister
of War.

Creganne, please your

King
a

actual

the

save

there

of most

true," said the King, turning round, and, with


cordial expression, adding, " My dear Count,

had

a
forgotten to sign your appointment,
caused
mistake
inconvenience
that might have
some
you
and
amend
this piece of
delay at Algiers. Pray let me
forgetfulness."
I bowed
respectfully,and deposited before him the great
envelope, with the huge official seal annexed, that
square

seems

contained

"

nomination.
my
de Verueuil
Princess

will be

happy to give you some


I
; and
tea, Count," said the King, motioning me to sit down
obeyed, while my heart, beating violentlyat my side, almost
the
Only to think of it !
overpowered me with emotion.
of an
Irish peasant seated at the family tea-table of a
son
the princess herself, the daughter of
great sovereign, and
a
king, pouring out his tea!
of the
consummate
most
If nothing short
effronterycan
"

The

"

maintain

indifference

cool, unaffected

in

of

presence
of
indicative

of mind,
ease
royalty,there is another frame
and
perfectlycompatible with a kingly presself-possession,
ence
and
this
is
the
and
manner
altogether dependent on
;
tone
was

of

the

himself.

sovereign

his usual

superiorityas

manner

would

"

was

be any

The
as

free

King
from

"

I have

any

privategentleman

heard

assumption
under

his

own

it
of

224

in the
On

in

when

perfect
differingin

of almost

deference

even

degree

of

tone

views.

own

nearly all his attention to myself,


subject,asking a vast varietyof

he directed

Ireland

made

and

him, and

any one, there was


his
he insinuated

way
this occasion

CREGAN.

maintained

roof ; his conversation


was
familiaritywith all around

opinion with

CON

OF

CONFESSIONS

the

questions, chieflyregarding the condition of the peasantry,


their modes
of life,habits of thinking, education, and future
I

prospects.

that

saw

statements

my

all

were

him,

to

new

prepared for much that I told him, and he


it by saying, " These, I must
avowed
are
own,
very soon
the opinions I have
not
usuallyheard from your countrymen,
Count
that the opportunitiesof travel, and
I conclude
; but
intercourse
with
of
the liberalism
thought which
foreign
views
lead you
countries
to take
not
quite in
begets, may
with
accordance
mere
stay-at-home politicians." I could
accurate
have given him another and more
explanationof the
the first and
difference.
It was
only time that his Majesty
that

he

not

was

had

conversed

and

bred

with

the

born
peasant,
one, himself
of a cabin, and who
had felt the

of

son

the thatch

beneath

"

merely draw from their imaginations.


and the Ministers
As it grew late,his Majesty arose,
the only stranger present.
retired, leaving me
one
by one
"
detain
not
longer ; you leave
Now, Count, I must
you
Paris
bered
morning, and I should have rememearly to-morrow
how large a portion of your night I have monopolized.
very

emotions

which

others

This

paper,

where

is it?

I at

"

took

once

conceive

; but
a

piece

of verse,

"

envelope, and

the

up

"

horror

my

droll

when

song

of my villanous companions
in place of my official letter of
hand, I pulled out another.
my
one

of

bill-of-fare
"

our

dinner

and

hors-d'oeuvres, salmis

but

array.
his
as

had

not

I half
to

One

what

to see

suspected the King


put

bold

face

on

saw

ment
docuit

that

was

new
dignity that
my
upon
had stuffed into the envelope

appointment. Crushing it in
Worse
the
again ! It was
"entrees"
and
Very's, where
macedoines," figured in imposing
and

this time

were

eyes

forth

I discerned

still remained,

document

Majesty's

moment

at

drew

might
my

I drew

bent

upon

be its contents,

indecision

the matter, I doubled

it out;

"

me,

indeed,

ing
and, determindown

blank

"MOI

piece of

the

his
for

thoughts

took

he

by us,"

"Approved

he

showed

that

It

gave
all I could

was

in

haste

his

in

name

attention

no

do

to the

avoid

To

he

moment

routine

of way

sort

whatever.

act

indecent

any
the

show

of

envelope, my hand
paper within
I
I could
scarcelyaccomplish it. When

that

so

replaced it

the

pen
with

enclosing the

trembled
had

were

the

up

placed it for his Majesty. Apparently


other
in
some
direction,
wandering
abstractedly,and wrote the words,

and

paper,

225

PRINCE."

MON

ET

in my

I felt like

pocket,

drowning

at

man

land.

touches

King dismissed me with many flattering


speeches, and
to Very's, where
I returned
friends were
still at table.
my
to
Resolved
not
gratify the triumph of their malice, I
affected to have
discovered
the trick in time to remedy it,
and
to replace my
Of course
appointment in its enclosure.
of what
the possibility
rise to
might have occurred
gave
droll fancy and absurd
a
conceit, and I plainly saw
many
The

how

very little compunction


disaster if a ludicrous
scene
and

myself.
separatednow,

We

had
a

all the
in

scene

parade
a

and

liked

me

bond

of affection than

last time,
so

many

"

"

"

people are
many
cried he, as he shook

riches

of.

gems
doubloons, and

as
sincerity

feeling:
a

Tell
for

again, life

meet

he

stronger

"

hand

my

frankly,then,

and

your

to

never

"

consequences?

any real
served
me,

had

parting

our

of

aware

humbug, together with

all its

; and

amount

same

for my
the king

of sincere affection,

showed

he

are

rubies, your

been

between

wept

even

the

perhaps
vicissitudes, tell me
"we

"

history,your
your

ensued

alone

because

thing,Creganne,"

one

had

have

all the testimonies

about

Paul

drama.

probably

would

fair friends

of my

some

"

with

there

if your

me

the
has

can
Mexi-

and

gold, your diamonds,


moidores, are not all
your

imprisonment

in

and

Malaga,

"

True, every word


Come, come,
now,

of

it,"said I, impressively.

your

is safe with

secret

Be

me.

open

a
honestly that the whole was
get
up.' I promise you fairlythat, if you do, I'll have a higher
value for your talents at an
episode than I now
place upon

and

your
"

above-board

lost wealth
I 'm
VOL.

sorry
II.

'

; say

and
for

15

your

countship

it,"replied I

"

to boot."

there

are

few

men

whose

226

I set

esteem

myself, and
this

I trust

what

Paul

standing

still

And

now

varied

in the

chances
of

fortunes

enemies,

alone

are

pass
narrative

lead

presume
would

characters,

not

of

saying

Confessions,

them

this

whom

when

by

And

been

abstractions

to

but

would

the

deep

in real

and

Of

originwas
of
upon

distant
the

how
mere

names

consist

and

of

these

mention

moulded.

only

characters

case?

the very
serve

as

passions

of

Nay,

is it not

intimacies

chance

the

not

doned
par-

passing influence on
agencies of personal

formed

the

in

me

we

frequently
diligence very
Are
them?
not
lasting impressions behind

steamboat

the

the

life is this

or

the

phrases remembered, and words


heard
have
we
passingly from
again?

that

be

may

qualitiesand

certain

Do

band, any

one

to

rather,

or,

to

sadly constrained, in

seem

represent

reverse?

precisely the
leave

any

believe

their very

here

became

character

introduced,

in

first,the

occurred

quitted Africa,

avoid, upon

to

again

more.

me

novel, the world

characters

forced

am

I have

to

adventure

than

history,

ever

that I have

acquaintanceship my

form

although

curious

or

who
merely exercised
persons
fortunes, and yet to show
by what

mankind;

; and

of

those

to

without

not

were

greater length

in

of

one

heard

for

course

passages

to

me

upon
be a

whom,

were

my

see

willing party to ; and, secondly, the


entail the acquaintance writh a vast
varietyof

my
recital would

life,and

from

would

reader

in

life,I
any other portionof my
for these
all in silence ; and
reasons

by

to

never

I could

away,

The
story in themselves.
strange land, with strange

interest

to

this than

to

climate, of

and

diversify and
probably select more

right

With

place, evidently unable

same

campaign

scenes

new

incidents

In

diligence drove

you."

problem of my veraciousness.
approaching a chapter of my historywhose

am

and

adventures

my

ing
becom-

by

the difficult

resolve

could

to convince

day yet

one

the

As

parted.

we

from

oblige you

regard for you might possibly overmaster


what I represent
judgment ; but, unhappily, I am

better

my

CREGAN.

If I could

by.

store

more

CON

cheat, my

of

OF

CONFESSIONS

of

many

accident,

plants
wind, and

that

"

are

treasured
those

are

strongest

our

ideas
borne

let fall in

we

some

dropped
for

axioms, that

as

up

to

never

convictions

far-away

land

the
seeds

like those

thousands

see

of
to

miles
take

"MOI

and

root

fructify?

when

Why

people, with whom,


connection

apology to

those

who

do

of

in

But

not, I have

had

done

beeu

appearance.

stragglinghairs
and

moustache

kinds

had

was

of gray

imparted
to

the

this, I

defending the Prince


severed

the muscles

events

or

sufficient for

said

of

ten

upon

almost

to

careless

themselves

gayety

wounded
from

my

and

character

sterner

an

Three

attack

rightarm

of
a

of its
years
bivouac
and

life of

the

"

emergencies

of

biography,

little subsequent

has

speak.

soil

showed

was

best

passing

this ; I have

not

bronzed

; while

little resembled
addition

work

the

his

world?

of the case.
To
those
difficulty
prolix without being profitable.

Africa, then, I must


and
parched
burning sun
"

the

to

ted
omit-

the

see

Of

battle

"confession"

judgment
upon
all likelihood,he
of

to be

agencies

the

individual

an

enough
who

these

are

227

PRINCE.'

give a

his

recording

as

save

letters

the

are

And

would

man

MON

ET

my constitution
Moorish
tint ;
in my
hazards
to my

dark

and
a

few

beard

of different

features, that

earlier days.
my
sabre
cut received

of Arab
; and

horsemen

although

In

in
had

encour-

228

OF

CONFESSIONS

aged

time,

the

wield

that I should

believe

to

sword

as

of

fame

well

was

physicianadvised

me

Due

and

letter

me

especiallycommending
my

Thus

repeat.

fatal riches,

me

about

was

"

the

Prince, my

and
ter,
mas-

to

climate.

The

kind

"

friend ; and

more

all memory
the brief enjoyment

"

haps
mis-

d'Escadron

northern

more

once

all my
desires,
as
High character

impulse

As

obliterated

but

I have

to

Fortune

was

Chef

the

these

intervened, I
"

in

protestationsat parting,
Minister
the French
at Naples,
and speaking of
to his friendship,
to
modesty cannot
permit me
my

that

in terms

services

for

me

to

provinces before his return to


to visit Italy,whither
the
given me
to repair to recruit my
strength,before

the trials of
upon
with
overwhelmed
me

gave

for

was

in the

adventuring
"

despatch, and

rewarded

of peace
the rank of

tour

Paris, permission

"

in

distinguished officer.

to make

was

its use,

recover

season

with

to France

to return
the

as

now,

yet

recorded

"general orders," my name


ribbon
of the "Legion,"
; and

CREGAN.

totallydisabled, and as incompetent


A very
mention
of me
flattering
pen.

hast,

at

CON

my
of the

which

of

might

past, and
have

now

could

of those

had

given

been

well

an

tented.
con-

soldier,a certain rank in the


not
the friendship of a Royal Prince, were

service, and
advantages
trifling

to

one

had

who

often

destiny with

sued

"

the
great game
informd pauperis; still,
of large fortune, was
have
I should
played, as the man
out of my
never
thoughts, and in secret I resolved to return
after my
to
Mexico, and, as the phrase has it, "look
"

even

success,

"

"

affairs."

determination

This

had

those

of my
hundred

while

away

as

On

the document

that

to

considered
which

the

"

time

of

and

was

the

to what

obtained

by

contents,
useful

If I

hope.

amuse

a
was

purpose

was

well

accident,

mere

not

it

deterred

might

be

that

aware

and

without

from

conscience

ulating
spec-

employed,

being of all things in the world


to dispose of.
how
knew
reaching Naples I discovered that the Envoy to

scruplesof
I best

longer I

ment
signature and approval was a stateof
one
claims
on
Spain, drawn
up by myself,
representationswhich I made, in idle hours, to

signature

knowledge

fixed the

more

his

appended

King

the

I may

here

it ; and

grew
remark

"

those

whom

230

CONCESSIONS

I knew

if I

CON

OF

to address

were

CREGAN.

the Due

St. Cloud

de

on

the

friend would
at once
receive
subject, that my essenced
a
check, and possiblya heavy reprimand ; but I was too proud
to descend
to this,and resolved
to rightmyself without
ing
callin the aid

day

the

others.

With

this

intention,I repaired one


the Mission, and having waited
for some
time, tillI
leave the cabinet, from
whom
I learned that
person

to

saw

of

Envoy

I advanced

home,

at

was

sir,"said the porter,barring the way.


with

the air of

who

one

the door, walked


Whether

it

there

was

and

me,

"I
ask

if,in the
has

progress

recipientof
"What

me

notes

his back
I will

"

You

of

my
manner

appearance
showed
to receive

arose

chair.

I intrusted

if I

made,

or

which

tell

resolutely,"to

your
still to be

am

hands, any

to

the

patient

nothing?"

me

be

tell,sir?" said the young


nothing
and standing
recoveringhis self-possession,

to the

beg

suddenness

which

if there

"

shall not

to

fire,in

the

be

more

of you

to

have

sir,"said he, with

very

easiest of attitudes.

said
explicit,"
on
complain of me

to

affected

most

brevityis the very


that

matter

diplomatist,now
with

to

sir," said I, calmly but

been

Out,
aside,

pushed him
be trifled with,and, opening

something in my
further deception,he

for

come,

"

that

or

handed

have

the

that

time

no

door.

in.

was

him,

unmanned

not

was

the

to

that

air of

score,

"

and, as
courtesy ;
I
well state
clearness, may
as

of

essence

I.

representingthe case of El Conde de Cregano to the


Minister
of Spain, he very
that I was
gravely assured me
existed among
inventinga personage, for that no such name
the nobilityof his land.
The
dignitymay be recognized in
on

Mexico," added
and

perverse,

he, "but
disclaims

the

Mexician

having

so

Minister

much

as

heard

is

equally

of

you.

spoke of your wealth and great treasures, and they actually


rude enough to laugh,
not at you, sir,don't be angry,
were
"

"

but

at

nothing
station

was

The

me.
more

Spanish Ambassador,
than

common

stylesand

for Carlist

indeed, said

that

agents of inferior

titles which

might entitle them


to greater consideration
if taken prisoner,and that in this
wise you might have
succeeded
to your countship; but that
in assertingyou
to
real rank, he persisted
had no
claim
to

whatever.

assume

This

you

must

allow, sir, is awkward."

"MOI

"For

you,

"You

whose

one

exercise

an

the

disproportionedto
is

sir, there
full

and

it

where

could

object it was

written

influence

of

of

ludicrously
against. There,
there

claim;

my

reparation; and there, the


the King, at the foot of it. You
can
hand, nor
you dare to pretend

signatureof your master


be ignorant of the
cannot
it is a forgery."
If my
insultinglanguage

had

to his

proof" completely overcame

his presence
and

damning

writing is certainlyin

The

and

therefore

claim

features

possesses

concede

your leave, then, I will


"
Minister

lay this

the

before

document

he,

that your
of ; with

fact

previouslyaware

not

was

pitied.

have

King's hand," said

the

obliged to

am

auger
all

confusion

of

state

myself, must

save

one,

any

in

of

flush

brought the

left him

and

mind,

perplexitythat
"

"

of

"

for

explicit demand

cheek, this

feel

not

be

directed

statement

to insult

he

did

you,
would

matist
diplo-

dared

have

crush

as

career

your

You

begun.

slightestword

such

that

so," said I, haughtily.

certainly,it will prove


rely upon it,sir, that

may
will end

231

PRINCE."

MON

ET

Spanish

the

"

"You

shall

do

such

no

thing, sir," said

I, haughtily;

"

asserted right is just what


it was
before I showed
my
you
that paper ; nor
shall I stoop to any corroborative
testimony
"
of my claim, even
from the hand
and with this
of royalty;

impertinentspeech

I advanced

the paper

fire,pressing it down

into the

foot, and

my

watching till I
diplomatist watched
proceeding, and I half

The
brief

my stratagem, as
doubt
exist
can

demand,

the best

with

Spanish

the

he said,
now

as

"

to

into the

any

feared

that

Well, Count,
authentic

the

to have

Ambassador.

He

'

had

he

of

as

not

character
a

personal

receives

'

of

your
interview

this

claim, but

of

shadow

evening
him

upon

admit

of

be presented,
you can
preliminary to the intercourse that will follow."

necessary
This all looked
or

this

this

through

seen

his

discussion

with

narrowly throughout

me

will wait
palace, and, with your leave, we
the time and
together. Of course
place will not
at

blaze

it consumed.

saw

will be

course

thrust

grate and

the

towards

indecision

pleased

with

now

the

"

marvellouslylike
would

be

proposal, and

trap

ruin,
we

; but

affected

parted.

any doubt
to be much

as

SOIREE

T
and

passed

had
'*

plan is
assembly, with

to

only waiting

of

inflicted

for

into

me

but

it

heavy

the

insult

will

would

deep pondering:

and

and

while

vaiu

suffice

to

have

proclaim

to

the

as

train

outrage
demand

all

me

laid,

will
for

be
sonal
per-

slight hint
expelled from

very

me

crowded

generals, and

the

diplomatically,
any
be

and

great

doubtless

has

He

match;

conjointlyand

Prefecture

and

long

distinguished company,

the

satisfaction
the

guess

lightlypardon

not

I, after

introduce

impostor.

and

cheat

not

secretary meditated

ministers, ambassadors,

then, in the face


a

the

him.

upon

"his

trepidation
evening. What

I could

me,

would

it," thought

I have

for

young

and

me,

upon

vengeance

the

that

clear

awaited

in store

be

subtlety might
seemed

that

misgiving

great

WORLD."

considerable

without

not

was

"GREAT

THE

IN

at

the

country."
I confront

Should
an

exposure,

me

case,

often

in

the
did

danger,

or

hazard

the

risk of such

judgment to be given against


the
In
one
What
a
trying alternative!
quences
greater for its shadowy, ill-defined conseand
irretrievable disgrace!
other, certain

should

by default?
a
peril the
;

How

or

this

curse

I suffer

my

ambitious

yearning

after

wealth,

had

that

SOIREE

not

left

but

hard-won,

who

fortune,

own

my

rewards

of

had

have

to

the

"

personal distinction.

gained each

services

ought

233

WORLD."

with

had

whose

of his prince,I

notice

"GREAT

incontestable,

battle,and

field of

THE

contented

me

gallant officer

the

As

IN

claimed

rested

the

step upon
the

especial

satisfied.

been
certain
have
and
promotion would
rapid, and
I dare
should
what
the
to aspire to than
higher condition
of a French
brilliant
command
regiment, or possibly some

My

appointment?

staff

climb

they
from

risk

not

decorated

to

gold!

And

what

now

summed
!

"

should

it had

moment

the

cut

abandon

to

From

sufficed

the

host

"

by

the

of

mine

much

so

of life and

but

to

one

"

inn

the
that

great nation

tactics,"

"

in many
a
knot
of many

Of

course.

of

whole
word
"

"

wards
For-

gency,
trying emera
tangle;

me

black

and

among

Blucher's

bold

so, how

adopt? My
comprised in that one

been

it?

abyss

assuredlywas within
the ordinary routine of

should

for

do

jeopardize for the sake

course

still abide

I not

Division

And

all Marshal

up

It had

"

mount

life had

philosophy through
which

humble

as

they had done enough,


higher ! The son of

all this must

yet

And

they

downward

the

surrounding the sovereign of

this sufficient ?

events

see

Were

of

reach, merely by length

my

look

men

life,and

that

General

group

not

was

"

by striving

peasant

poor

convinced

be

all

of

not

issued ?

have

they

would

many

mountain

the

which

will

Why

"

This

was

that

the

not

the

polioy.
"

I learned

Spanish

minister, whose
those

little less splendid than


receptions were
the court
itself,occupied a position which in countries

of

of

more

crowded.
station

In
to

been

once

banishment

pride
' '

of

his

rigidmorality would

have

fact, it was

that

having

asserted

consented

to

was
on

exerted

his eminent

lady who had


royalty
Spain, and whose
had
been
thus secured.
Being still in the full
her beauty, and
possessing great wealth, the
her claim, in a
to
only added
society where
the

rival

of

marry
itself in

notorietyof
law

he owed

less

"

scandal

She

left his salons

kind
is regarded
any
the reigning belle of the
theme

every
a considerable

bearing;

and

of

fashion

influence

as

capital.

and
on

distinction.

taste; her

matters

despitethe ambiguity of

Her

her

word

was

opinions
of high political
position,she was

234

CONFESSIONS

arbitress

the

CREGAN.

to admission
into that society
every claim
of being " the best."
arrogated to itself the name

which

of

It is needless
of

species
all

CON

OF

of

Marchesa

She

court

cabinet

where

by

she

had

had

she

crime

within

to her

she

charge ;

was

would

the

be

to

red

and

yet,

land.

rather

European

an

"

her

wiles

entrapped half

age ; while there was


catalogue of the law that was

scarcelya
laid

not

all these

with

in

This

introduced

have

not

not
a
brought discord,
intrigue. Her beauty had

sown

sovereign

more

of

queen
was

the

of half-a-

the

of

statesmen

great

the

the wife

was

seduced, her gold corrupted, and


the

and

There

not

not

"

widow,

was

thus

proclaimed a natural
by others, of an English

some

Napoleon*

together.

personages
into which

engenders a
responds by inventing

histories; and

strange

was

Emperor

Duke.

Royal
dozen

the

of the kind

the world

and

la Norada

de

daughterof

stories

station

which

to

tyranny

manner

that

to say

allegations
against her,
capital than the rightful

that

the

was

to-night, and

confronted

the

than
penetrating of men
bestowed
glances of that woman
that to such
test they wished
a
most

into

presence

which

it
frankly own
searching scrutinyof
"

the

meet

nor

to

now

"

the

careless, halfit at all

was

unlikely
and

subject me

my

pretensions.
It is far

for many

easier

perilof life or limb, than


To
the world.
a slight before
I
as
nothing in comparison.
the

of
be

perilin preference
from

and
as

It

out,

was

chesa's
I drove
this
than

was
one

members

too

woman,

reply was useless.


already midnight
not

"

risk of

the

to

that

the

hour

ere
was

receptionsonly began
along the Chiaia, the
a

night of

equipage

more

than

of the

Court

confront

to

men

to meet

the

ger,
personal dantryingdifficulty

nvyself,the
could
a

face

former

redress

! where

I could

of
was

of

amount

any

public mark

would

depreciation,
as
sible
impos-

muster

to set
courage
inappropriate,for the Mar-

when

crowd

the
of

opera

was

over.

carriages told

ordinary attraction, and


passed by, showing that

As
that
more
some

royal family would be present. This again


terrified me.
Was
of my
the witnesses
royalty to be among
shame?
man's
When
a
thoughts do take the turn of selfwhat
tormenting, what
ingenuity will they not exhibit,
of the

"

SOIREE

IN

THE

!
annoyance
in life could never

astonishingresources

greatest enemy
part of that sufferingwhich
!

fancies

now

the

ought

clothes, and

thus

officer,and

and

return

to

the

have

which

avoid

it

own

mind,

my

one

my
whether

my
uniform

for
of

epaulette

I wore,

tenth

my

doubt

my

the

exposing

from

that

impression that

was

exchange

proud cordon

inflicted

crossed
an

"

not

convinced

am

experienced

thoughts
Among
kept continuallyrecurring,and made
will probably never
lose,
memory
I

of

my

235

WORLD."

"GREAT

plain

French

to the chances

of open

insult.
This

in my
mind
I drove
as
question was
yet unsolved
turmoil
and confusion
into the court- yard of the palace. The
of the scene
carriagesinterlocked, poles smashing panels,
"

and

horses

rearing

have

felt

have

upset half

heart-warm

for

caleche

handed
the

at

card

my

top of

around

him.

through

the

took

of

announcement.
a

have
and
of

was

resounded
voices

the

arrested

soon

farther,

moving

deemed

of

now

others

for

the

by
time

at

to call my

borne

dense

least,
name

needless

ear,

I '11 lead

sage,
pas-

and
a

run

I could

which

him

as

only

one

by

you
risk
of
great
have

like

this misfortune

followed

of

most

for the young


attache
momentary;
through the throng, and whispered in my

even

merely

but

the Marchesa."

rooms,

lacqueys

importunity of
to the enjoyAt last he ceased, leaving me
ment
with
crowd.
i
n
the
momentary tranquillity mixing
I

what

his way
Let us retire this way,
otherwise
you will
to

and

liveried
"

stood

repeated it,every syllable


bang of a death-bell !

like the

progress
all chance
of

made
"

who

led

he

was

another

being presented

never

that I would

told him
man

had

; but

I did

not,

through a suite
occupied, and that by a
the way

card-party.
The

buzz

without

our

indeed

was

of

question, the lacquey continued

the

aloud, with

It

army

and

door,

major-domo,

Creganne

de

echo

heart

my

and

of

the

and

fallingupon
Although
out

an

in store

not

the

at

up

the

spacious antechamber,

it up,

crowd,

with

Comte

Le

however,

was,

to

name

my

I would

and

that might
any accident
broken
the reception
up

length drew

at

stairs

the
"

for

"good-luck"

with

relief to me,

and

company,

Such

My

gratitude

the

in disorder.
me.

actual

an

was

"

and

hum

of

voices

apprised

me

that

we

were

236

door,

found

we

where

chamber,
dozen

men

in

few

words

of

some

the

ambassadors
Wait

"

moved

and

party

were

and
where

and

spectator of the
could

not

I had

ever

but

of

in

of

and

showed

companion
I stood

crowd.

the

which, despite all my


It

feel interested.

witnessed

reception.
that

state

blood, and

the

and

that

others,

of state.

entered

scene,

her

around

are," whispered my

you

forward

decorations

ministers

mark

only
queenly in

was

princes

of the

honors

the

salute

to

of

body

I could

me,

air that

an

stars

The

dignity.

of

main

stopping

did the

towards

was

tall,and

was

who

about

and

ladies

the

defile,each

lady

her back

As
she

to

but

four

while

opening
nished
gorgeously fur-

suddenly,on

small

a
or

assembled,

were

CREGAN.

and

three

guests passed through


say

CON

the company,
in
ourselves

again approaching
a

OF

CONFESSIONS

fashionable

that

first

the

was

world

; and
an

he

eager

anxieties,I
great review
whose

nition
recog-

Its slightest
ardently coveted.
insignificantobservances, were
gestures, its least and most
all matters
each
of study to me.
Every deep reverence,
motion
and imitate,
of respectful courtesy, were
things to mark
and I was
hint for future
a
guidance,
storing up many
when
I observed
I had rightlyconthat a gentleman, whom
jectured
remark
to be a royal prince,appeared to press some
"
the
which
to
at last she
replied, "I
Marchesa,"
upon
believe
I must
follow
Royal Highness's counsel, and
your
take a few minutes'
rest ;
and, so saying, she dropped back
and

acceptance

so

"

from

the

and

group,

retired

within

few

paces

of

where

stood.
"

May

beg

and

to me,

seemed

in

want

my
I hastened

it unbidden.
turned

fixed

and

with

to

to

In

the

those

chair, sir," said the Prince

of

certain

haughtiness
ing
present-

perform this service.

to

The

stood
eyes met, and we
each
speechless and
pale

our

spot,
few

own

thoughtfulness in not

it ;

acknowledge

rooted

emotion.

that

in which

tone

to rebuke

lady

to hand

you

seconds

I felt

as

if I had

lived

years.
"

La

Senhora

myself.
"Lupo!"
from

Dias,"

murmured

ejaculated she,
head

to

foot.

as

I,

unconsciously

if in answer,

and

she

to

bled
trem-

238

CONFESSIONS

OF

CON

CREGAN.

places and

incidents

which

were

bewail

death

some,

rejoiceover

the

dear, dear

"

other
with

what

and

oddities

Never

beside
my

friends"

that

as

he

once

air

to

the

How

amuse

us

so

up

came

was

and

found

with

her

redolent

of

much

of
on

pet spanielupon
that

and

eccentricities

seated

me

of

breathed!

never

remembered

we

did

we

fortune

good

forget the look of astonishment

the Marchesa,

whole

used

unreal.

as

had

who

pleasant laughter

can

attache

of

all

the young

the ottoman
my

lap,while

triumphant expression so

unmistakably denoting security.


repressing his
"I
perceive," said he, with difficulty
is acquainted with
la Marchesa
humor, " that Madame
Comte

de

many
years, sir,the Comte
other, and I have
only to own
my

everyway

at

the

Creganne."

"For

friends

ill-

Naples
so

ever

mentioned

distinguished.

But

to

and

I have

surprisethat
me

here

none

tine arrival of
is the

each

known
of
one

Marquoso;

my
in
1

SOIREE

IN

239

WORLD.**

"GREAT

THE

So saying, she introduced


present you, Comte."
tall, pompous-looking elderly gentleman, who, it

must
a

fair to add, did


of

notice

back

without

idea

occurred

to

pity me,

to

career

of

accept

the

heroism

fallen down

have

all of

had

had

he

certain

was

Chiaia

every
who
and

sudden

sight

at

lion of

the

day for weeks


might, had the

died

without
"

most

not

one

interesting

heard.

even

Vallabretta, the younger

of

Duke

The

was

now

the

I the

but

exalted
into a percampaign was
fect
even
pushed hard
modesty was
my
acts
of
lavishlybestowed
praises most
upon

which

of

satisfaction

is

My African
glory, and

personage

much

recognition,and

or

me,

so

And

walked

I became

"

"

to

had

I, who

evening.

half

showed.

his wife

as

me

evince

not

to

me

of

heard

often

brother
from

me

of

his

the

king,

friend

"

De

the officer of
quite positive that I was
squadron of horse, captured "a
dragoons who, with one
Smala
defended
Arabs, while fullyone
by twelve hundred
St. Cloud."

He

was

"

half of

laid

to

various

of

noses

to

popular with
"Bayard."

the

cargo

Not

half
French

ladies, who

that

him
mad.
nearly drove
society,the obscurityin

mode

promised

atrocityadds

estimation

immensely

and

ously
gener-

so

I discovered

deplored

in which

regarded

me

as

modern

of

triumph, however, gave me one


felt in trampling upon
the little
persecuted with a proud disdain that
All
ignorance of Neapolitan
my

I
I

attache, whom

his door.

was

roasting prisoners, sending a


Toulon, and such like, were
exceedingly

pleasure

the

war

of

acts

sensations

all these

the Oran
of

in Italian

of heroism

that

A dash

charge.

my

charm

to the

cruelties of

illustrious

the

which

most

we

were

I had

lived

hitherto, I laid at
cient
feelinglyto the prince the ineffirepresented at his court, and

influence

in

effectinga change. I fear


disposition is not so angelic as I usually conceive
it, for
my
I actually taxed
ingenuity for little subjects of attack
my
him
at length retire
against the unlucky diplomatist, and saw
to

use

the salons

from

Another
:

crushed, crest-fallen,and

consideration, perhaps, added

I knew

determined
free."

my

The

not

to

"

how

make

vicissitudes

short-lived
my
of

fortune

to my

venom

might

running

miserable.

be

while
had

my
the

often

nity
malig-

power,

and

course

was

reversed

in

240

CONFESSIONS

short

one

CON

CREGAN.

all the prospect I trusted

day

certain

OF

the

be the most

stable

fully resolved never


to forego the stroke
to-day for which my arm
might be too
As
I saw
him
weak
to-morrow.
depart, I felt like a naval
his enemy
has struck, and, in the pride of victory,
hero when
abandoned
myself to pleasure.
aud

for

and,

If the Marchesa

future, I

to

watched

was

at first with

me

doubtful, perhaps, how


that high and polished world, I

anxious
in

an

I should

eye,

soon

and

uneasy

acquit myself
that

saw

her

fears

the easy quietude of my


allayed as she saw
manner,
that tranquil self-possessionwhich
and
is supposed to be
with the world of fashion.
only acquired by long admixture
were

It

evident, too, that

was

entail
and

disgrace, success

recognized

was

before

To-morrow,

on

certain

the

my

part would

to do

her honor

strong rebutting evidence

that the Marchesa

in
at

failure

just as

was

denied

who

all those

"

credit,since

if any

high

was

circles

noon," said she,

of

as

against
known

ever

or

court.

I made

my

bow

at

likelyI should forget the appointment.


with very different feelingsI drove up to the palace
It was
those
I had
the day following, from
of the Marchesa
on
tion
experienced on approaching it on the evening of the recepI long without
perceiving that my confidence
was
; nor
well

was

with

me

it was

and

parting;

not

founded.
his most

bland

of

Groom

The

the

courtesy, and

expected my arrival.
Preceding me through a suite

by

Chambers
his

manner

received
showed

that he

I had
me

from

time

not

into

which

to observe

small

the view

on

chamber
extended

magnificence
ered
the previous evening, he ushleading into a conservatory,
the wide Bay of Naples,
over
of

rooms

whose

As
I was
from
base
to summit.
presented Vesuvius
left by myself here for some
minutes, I had leisure to notice
surrounded.
Rare
I was
the varied
elegance by which
plants and flowers in jars of costly porcelain; alabaster
age
and
rich bronzes
statues
appeared amid the clusteringfoliin the midst
of the rare
of all, two
tiny swans,
; and
breed
of Morocco,
lay tranquillyin a little basin, whose
elaborate
silver fountain
of most
water
a
spouted from
workmanship.
While
yet gazing on the tasteful objects around, the Mar-

and

had

chesa

side

SOIREE

ere

passed

it.

noiselesslythat
than

on

the

but

in

the

expression of the
sleeplessnight.

Having taken

myself

beside

minutes

without

she

Paler

she

word.

sunken

could

last,in

remember
you
recollect the
you

parted? Do
yourself?
"
Perfectly,Sefihora

the
oath

my
she

previous evening,

the
eye and
that she had

see

upon a sofa, and motioned


she looked
fixedly at me
At

at

was

seat

her,

said, "Do

mouth

241

WORLD."

"GREAT

so

handsomer;

even

wearied

THE

entered, and

I knew

looked

IN

voice

of

me

to seat

for

several

deep feeling,

pledge with
by which

which

we

bound

you

"

tillthe very
I

!"

said I ;
of

moment

nor

"

But

"

Only

had

you

heard

let that

and

of

meeting, in

our

here?

me

the Marchesa

as

"Hush!

not

what

nothing

in

terror;

hasty expression of

then

"To-morrow
That

friends

She
have

while

you remain
I cannot, I will not, live

impatience, an unguarded
might compromise me,
yours,
leave Naples ?

you
to-day,if you
can

"

would

bered
remem-

"

When

"

such

myself of the
things are well

of

moment

good

be brief.

must

to rid

her, in Mexico.
hung over
mind, and added, "You
my

shall be

we

that time

life of
a

fear

to

the Senhora."

as

cold at this threat, for I

ran

which

passing

was

here ; but

word,

blood

My

accusation

the

"

presence

escape
your lips; I believe
I gave
commission
well
was
you
it otherwise, and
did I deem
were

trust

understood."

and

whose

never

name

not be difficult for me


you false,it would
embarrassment.
live in a citywhere
We

day,
yester-

aware

"

Norada,

de la

The
you.
faithfullyexecuted :

saw

was

standing."

was

you
and

"

be

too

desire

it."
said

hurried," she

thoughtfully.
"

suspicion. Why are you here?


encourage
and then
I gave the restoration of my health as the reason,
of my
alluded to the circumstances
Spanish claim, which I
"

We

must

not

would

hoped Naples
pressing.
had

"Who
you
"

knows
?

of its truth

The

Governor
VOL.

of

minister
of
II.

"

"

this

said

by
Malaga,
16

have

proved

transaction?

suitable

What

place

evidence

for

have

she, hurriedly.

imprisoned, the
of it."
official underlings,all know

whose
his

order

was

242

CONFESSIONS

which
M

Now,

Enough.

"

CON

CREGAN.

the information

was

given on

"

called himself

who

man

whom

by

arrested?

were

you

OF

the Consul

Campecho,

at

and

to whose

earlyhistoryI am
disposed to suspect I have the
I
clew, but to whom, unfortunately,in a hasty moment,
betrayed that secret knowledge."
"
And
thus he dreads
and hates you," said she, fixingher
dark eyes sternlyon me.
"

He

"

rather fears

But

without

me

would

still you

reason," said

have

traded

I.

that

on

purpose?" reiterated she, with


your
showed
how the applicationto her own

served
that

in her
"

"

You

with

the

enough

"

"No,
"Nor
is

'"'

"

In

crimes

which

was

said

I, proudly.

"

connect

to

me

murderer?

not

that."

all the

"

her features

that gave
demoniac

wife

the

the wretch!

"Oh,

man

"

esteem

"

he seduced

this

misfortunes

in English
forger? for methinks
paralleloffence."
I speak of, forgery was
the case
the
:

most
upper-

took

it followed

from

the

case

"

he

Was

pointedness

place years ago in


his conduct
supposing him to be
to the last degree. This
suspicionI
let escape
His enmity was
the
me.

to

and
consequence,
have
suffered."

led

incident

base

was

"

Senhora

me,

circumstances

wherein

and

same

just to

unhappy

very

weak

was

less than

are

England,

it

thoughts.

varietyof

fear, had

of

his

exclaimed
beautiful

"

friend

and

she, with

they

were

as

least

such

of

his

benefactor."
derisive
"

an

smile
almost

I trust he never
expression.
prospered after
such
iniquity."
of sneer
in which
she uttered this, I
Not heeding the tone
are
replied,"You
right,Senhora; he lived a life of terror
he had injured
and misery. He was
a coward
; and the man
never
sea

"

ceased
and

to

land

him

from

followed

him

track

he

country
; the

stimulatinga

heart

dead

when

mere

boy, brought

was

poor Broughton."
whom?"
"With
eyes

strained

said

tillthe very

me

for

emotion.

into close

she, grasping my
blood

country.

thirst

other

to every

to

started

Over

vengeance

Accident,
relation with

wrist, while her

in them.

SOIREE

Sir

"

out

IN

said

Dudley Broughtou,"
fell senseless

she

ere

placed her

sofa

on

1 ; but

the

floor.

the

on

her
temples and
fountain, bathed
no
sign of returning animation
gave

What

I to do?

was

I knew

the servants,

even

not

there
darted
her ; and
then
terrible conviction
that this could

looked

at

up

and

been

"Have

last, in

thoughts realities?
I did not

I dare

did

nor

Tell

terrible

voice,
of what

me

confusion

had

With
her

eyes,

still,with

her

dream," said she, at


"or

are

were

In

did

my

speedilyfollowed,

of

this

dreadful

my

speaking?

we

tell her

not

her.

deceive

to

Delmar.

remained

heart.

I could

answer.

no

shudder

broken

and

be

her

dreaming

weak

that

mon
sum-

In

brain
the
my
other than
Lady

Lydia

and

again,

clasped tightlyover

hands

her.

through

unhappy

convulsive

them

leave

length awoke, and, opening

at

me.

closed

she

the

bell to

dead, and

was

she

breathe.

to

seem

to

in

dropped

arms

to find

I dare

she

that

"

and

her,

lips. But

; her
even

killed

Broughton herself,
long-drawn sigh she

not

were

I raised

her

where

not

should

I believed

excitement,

did

side ; she

either

words

then, dipping her handkerchief

; and

the

powerless at

243

WORLD."

"GREAT

THE

sad

the

dilemma

"

theme,

I became

her, and with a


escape
struck
deep into my heart,
voice, every syllableof which
revealed
she said, " Is this secret your own,
or have
you ever
silent; but

my

it to another

have

"I

"

told

never

mystery known
few

These

and

words, which

betrayed

for

"

Let

speak

hurried

same

voice

to usurp

shall not
"

dwell

to

this

which

upon

this

powerful
and

Beware, then,

how

can

you

her

by

before
"

theme

full

from

such

the

threaten

aid

terror.

delusion.
will

me

that
!

"

she

self
her-

suffering,

at

last, in

suspect

me

I dare

the

not, trust

will I suffer

who

"

ing
waver-

affliction.

made

I cannot,
; nor

me

her

she

had

own

how

showed

more," said

no

friends

buy

they

overwhelmed

ascendency over
deceive yourselfby

money,

the

was

secret, increased

once

an

great and

have

dreadful

seemed
of

to confirm

that

of her intellect.

the soundness

myself

her

served

time

same

she

space

us

it,nor, indeed, till now,

myself."

to

terrors, at the
had

not

any one
No, sir ; you
I have
friends

protect

me.

outstripspatronage,

244

OF

CONFESSIONS

You

"

unjust

are

"I

put

in

me

shall

ever

"

from

ever

Then

let

me,

Let

us

each

see

other

has

live,none

fear any

lips; nor
you
to yourself."

lutely.
reso-

accident

mere

need

part.

us

which, while you

secret

my

escape

threaten.

to

of

possession

CKEGAN.

lady," said I, calmly, but

me,

meant

uever

hear

to it will

to

CON

allusion

more," said

no

she, rising,and approaching a small ivorycabinet which


unlocked.
See, here is enough to satisfy the desire

she

"

if your
money,
other idol.
Take

mere
no

of

gems

here

and

"I

she

within

"

'

value

ready

am

hour,

an

These

if

And

by

true!"

to leave

seek

this

for

suit with

life,when

both

an

of
of

suit

; and

tion
dissipa-

us

said

in these
I

the

'buy
quit Naples
to

shall

to each

never

other."

before," said

once

me.

how?"

said I.

she, in

voice

doubtless

this, has
in

none

of

deep
ments
punish-

other

that I must

plain,then,

trust

"

offer is
"my
little prospect of

it,Senhora," replied I

is, then,

yours

loss,

its tone, and

we

at

already I see but


success.
Why should we meet again
are
travellingopposite roads?"

actual

although

contract

our

It is

to

"

that

city,where

urging my
"This

of

need

no

strangers

feel confidence

can

not

utter

as

did

me

is

pledge myself

exclaimed

that

for

who

I,

steadfastlyon

"Fate,

I do

upon

empress
years of

are

lace
neck-

an

leave,

my

broken, and

too

in store

"

of

it has

they

That

crown.

"There

take

do,

we

whom

"

emotion.

"

these ;

buy long

me.

the terms

were

"True,

you,

that

Senhora," said I, offended

to

and

"

she, fixingher gaze


"

royal

will

towards

again, or,

meet

from

interrupt you,

assumed

off ;

me

these, and

graced the shoulders

once

wealth

upon

excess."

must

tone

taken

rings,whose

are

set

so

these, and

price,and

of rubies

be

heart

for

"

matter

repliedby

fact

of

words,

few
an

real

had

assurance

demand,

in

founded

throughout?"

This,

nothing offensive in
of my
good faith and

veracity.
"

day

Send

me

after

at

demand
can

answer

upon

the memorial

farthest, you
the

for

this

evening; to-morrow,

shall have

an

Ilavannah, the banker

your

being honorably

property in his keeping,

will

answer.

As

or

the

for your

and I
is my
own,
dealt with; all your

guarantee."

246

OF

CONFESSIONS

CREGAN.

CON

the weeks
I spent in Naples as perhaps
might linger upon
life. The
world
of fashion
the very pleasantestof my
was
I

to

new

All

me.

dither

men

saloons,

and

off, and

wear

ere

I am
more

not

its

degree

Pretty
dress

women

the

; courtiers

their smartness
candid

would

freedom

things

least, indiscreet.
discussed
formed

than

what

events,

staple of

the

of

stores

the

anecdote

curious

and

if in

as

their best, and

have

would

; statesmen

were

circle where

their

said

that

individuals

and

that

characters,

but

illustrations

the

say

more

were

not

ries
strange histo-

what

life unfolded

of

to

facts,
it,
amusing was

how

opened,

hundred

been,

true

talk ;

of

chary

not

were

men

confidential

were

is not

Pretension

wardness
ridiculed, vulgarityexposed, stupiditylaughed at, awk-

was

criticized,and

action.

No
"

The
had

credit

the

debtor

not

rank, however

set

"

who,

with

an

most

"

communism"

having
theory, were

one

not

that
least

at

am

bound

with

most

that

there

were

to

own

for virtuous

side

item

condemned,

of

the

conduct

account

able
honor-

or

full,but

was

it!

on

the judgments of
escape
of fashion, affected
all the exclusiveness

democratic

I must

reserved

commendations

few

of tact

want

ridicule ; but

unsparing

remarked

look

to

unbent,

is

It

friends.

of the world.

witty

societies

in other

that

ere

misinterpreted,and

be

not

were

of the world

; men

soon

long while

since

ashamed

not

becomingly

most

of

intercourse

were

statues,

frequented had not


rigidly scrupulous
of polished
the observances
ity,
liberty,almost of familiar-

that I have

members,

in the wider

me.

jewels,gorgeous

of his fashionable

the

life,it yet admitted

common

man

exacting all

circle,since, while

upon

reallybrilliant societybegins
recognizesa degree of sameness

societywhich
captivation than a more

of

power

renders

with

amusements

that

sure

among

and

it takes

; but

amaze

pleasuresand

in the

in dress

splendor

intercourse

of

the charm

fresh

flowers, exquisitepictures and

rare

to astonish

cease

to

of

show

habit

which

to

indifferent,came

apathetic or

outward

The

fascinations

those

exalted, could

spiritof equality.
assumed
ten

to

thousand

start
a

on

It was,
the

year,

"

however,

basis
not

of
so

every
bad
a

it

only practicable.
lingerlonger on this subject,on

which

1 have

SOIREE

only

touched

that

knowledge
the

to

use

and

conventionalities

those

which

to assist

how

to

or

close

without

the

sign
world

of

show

was

The

; that

but

the

great Northern

I had

rank
my
individual
on

himself

was

that

Carlist
In

power.

spy,

fact,

so

aid ; and
all

the very
as

who

had

referred

been

most

the

manifold

also
my

infamously
were
table,
indispu-

affirmation

and

of

man

was

whose

this

est
slight-

fortune

fortune

and

use

listener ;

and

"

or

my
material

to

mere

education

alone

not

that

premeditation

While

when

detecting the

progressing, my
Spanish Ambassador,

court, ascertained

epigram,

an

tage
advan-

an

yourself against

learned

tute
consti-

openings,"

"

obtain

once

acquired

which

and

secure

his

with

forethought.

advancing,

arrested

discussion

"

become

to

without

man

faintest

of

to his

story ; when

slow

at

where

was

gambits

"

phrase,by
you
an
equal adversary, and
even
a
superior player.

how

treated

here

forms

chess

illustration

case

of

it

that

"

injury with

the

remark

to

247

WORLD."

"GREAT

THE

tactique of life,

over

an

IN

noted
were

was

of

agent

his infractions

against law, in every country in Europe, that


him
to what
was
particularpower to hand
difficulty

the

only
so

over,

of punishing him.
In the
laying claim to the honor
this distinction ! and
at the very period
end, Naples obtained
I was
enjoying the luxurious pleasuresof that capital, my
friend the Consul
ties
was
expanding his chest and his faculof a galley-slave.
tune
Forin the less captivatingcareer
cravat
at the window
is just,"said I, as I arranged my
overlooked
whose
which
the Bay, on
glassy surface some
half-dozen
boats
moved
sluggishly,as the red and yellow
rowers
kept time to the "stroke"
by the clanking of their

many

"

"

"

fetters.
Governments
one

of

refunding

admitted

humor,

sent

first class,
merits.

brother
and

cross

of

the

Order

of

Isabella,of the

very

"

I decorated

was

which

me

"

of the

thus

gratifyingrecognitionof my noble birth


of Medina
the
My intimacy with the Duke
for me
the Neapolitan Order
obtained
king
;

"

and

claim

my

they

the case
is
slowly, particularlywhen
previous spoliation; meanwhile
they
and
in goodby way of keeping me

move

in

with

three

very

button-hole
my
fact insignificant
in itself ; but I mention
wore

as

dons,
distinguished cora
a
"tricolor,"
"

it here,

as

many

of

248

CONFESSIONS

imitators

my
the

have

OF

siuce

CREGAN.

CON

that affected

to be

the inventors

of

method.

Periods

expectancy

inroads

making
the

of

loiters in

who

flowers

the health, and

upon

Such

mind.

was

some

and

generallydeemed

are

sapping

great trials,
the

energiesof

here ; I waited
like one
case
my
delicious garden, surrounded
ing
with bloomnot

odors.

The

and

procrastinations
of cabinets
for which the most
profuse apologieswere
made
I bore with a degree of calm equanimity that won
for
the appellation of a most
finished gentleman ; and
thus
me
I almost
was
unconsciously perfectingmyself in that grand
element
of breeding whose
impassiveness."
triumph is
There
moments
when
I actuallydreaded
the termination
were
of my
to me
so
agreeable had Naples become
cause,
;
sweet

delays

"

"

"

but

the

as

half
Six

is certain

gamester

is luckless

player
was

rich

crowded

successes

ever,

indifferent

to

to

win, while
on

me,

the

poor
because
I

them.

nearly elapsed since my arrival at


Naples, and I was
paying a morning visit to the Marchesa,
I was
whom
to a grand dejeuner, to
engaged to accompany
board
be given on
It
of a British ship of war
in the Bay.
of those gorgeous
was
one
days of brilliant coloring,which,
in Italy,seem
to exaggerate
the effect of landscape, and defy
all efforts of art to imitate ; the scene
was
heightened,too,
the bay.
The various
boats,
by the objects moving across
with ensigns floating and
music
playing; the swift "Lateeners," skimming along the glassy surface, almost without
a

months

breath

had

of wind

now

; and

then

the

great three-decker

herself,

in all the

pride of her majesticsize,with flagsof every nation


from her halyards,
fluttering
were
splendidadjuncts to the
picture.
"

"

the
this

Here

are

three

letters for you, Monsieur


le Comte,"
in the Spanish Minister's
"they came

Marchesa,

morning;

but

in
interesting

them

suppose
to

withdraw

there

is

your

said

bag

nothing sufficiently
thoughts from that

magnificent panorama."
Of

course

thrust
room

rest

them
soon

the

affected

concurrence

in

the

sentiment,

into my
indifference.
pocket with assumed
after
filled with arriving visitors,and among

Spanish

Ambassador.

and
The
the

SOIREE

Senhor

"Ha,
offer my

THE

notion

happy
good tidings have

your
and
seemed
smiled,

wherein

however,

How

felicitations.

warmest

bowed,

lay

my
detected

soon

charmed,

good

"

he

' '

And

have

you

read

"

them?

What

if its contents

if the

In

you

"

slightest
practised eye,

said, "You

he

have

to fillup

rule

to

never

risk the

letter at hazard."
the

enjoyment
of

measure

very

your

"

case," rejoined I,

that

the

been

has

again.

to increase

but

were

tidingswere

Senhor

wishes,
"

the

the

Marchesa

asked

Not

what

be

to

reached

me

your

it a
yet," said I; "I make
pleasure of a happy day by opening a
"

am

His

and

game,

my

"let

me,

without

fortune.

letters,I hope?"
"Yes," replied I, carelessly;"the
kind enough to give them
to me."
received

249

WORLD."

"GREAT

Conde," said he, approaching

through which

means

IN

coldly as
morning ;

as

will be very

before,

they

"

and
thus I shall
acceptable to-morrow
have
gained two days of happiness, vice one."
Admirable
philosophy, indeed," said he. " Still,I must
I shall therebe pardoned for interferingwith its exercise.
fore
"

take

to

me

upon

inform

the

honorable

Majesty, my royal mistress, has named


Cordon
of the Fleece, in
Cregano a Grand
his distinguishedservices in arranging the
her

that all his

property,

taken

imputation, shall
he

recompense
and

; and

Spain
every
and

all

that

instructed

are

honor

he

may

him

demand

for

and

receive

Count

be

in

prosecution

the

of

debt;
and
any

torous
traitional
addi-

his

imprisonment
corded
immediately ac-

Ministers

the

false

; that

shall be

distinction, affording him

and

Mexican
a

restored

de

consideration

under

once

incurred

Envoys
to

facilitatinghim

which

be at
may

inconveniences

other

from

that

company
the Count

of

the

Court

of

Cregano with
every protection,
de

of

any

project in

interested."

in a very
was
speech, delivered
imposing manner,
followed
pany,
comby a round of felicitation from the assembled
her hand
in congratulation,
the Marchesa
offering me
How
soon?"
and whispering the words,
if I must," replied I, sorrowfully.
"To-morrow,
This

"

"To-morrow

The

be

information

it," said she, and

conveyed

to

me

hastily.
away
the Ambassador
was

turned

by

250

CONFESSIONS

what

formed

the substance

contrived

t""

from

Havannah

the

bankers'
known
I

hands

house

once

which
the hero

the

of

to fill up

could

the

be the

it had

me

should

for

rich

but

that

still

British
with

blended

sailors
actual

an

the

with

wife

"

was

of

upon

which

another

waltzes

rarely met

with,

warmth

gives

by

wins

countries
and

new

all were

; and

unknown

of

water,

announcing

hour

the

church

sound

of evening

bells

prayer.

"

and

and

Sicilywere

city was
quatro," as

Vinti
In

moment

to

this
gested
sug-

of

performed
those

something

suddenly,

the

of

even

bolero;

the

should introduce

rest, when,

the

the

Calabria

who

vying

to

manolo

birth, the petty princes

noble

of

men

the

mean

friendliness

of

tone

"

but

courtesy being

that
hospitality

of

of

regions

the wild

of

dances

entertainment

every
their
hosts,

the

succeeded

had

to

never

promiscuous gathering.
appeared to experience the influence of
Every one
peculiar magic, and all gave way to the impulse that
the fullest enjoyment of the hour.
To

alas

splendid;

very

graces

guest, and

coldest

the
upon
the most

heaped

prize
cravings. That,

was

more

are

pleasant

hearty cordialitywhich

where

All the
were

the

accorded

was

more

my

Tariffa

' '

of

arm

complete happiness is

mortal
the

me

nities
dig-

I became

the

boat.

one

of

and

course

to

men

wealth, and

honors

Of

pier ;

the

Maria

learn

charm

another

in

her

Donna
I

in the

amount

intrusted

the

to

ambitious

"

notification

immense

it.

was

life had

most

the

all the

adorn

reserved

lot of any mere


fete on
board

The

that

To

beside

be,

never

thus

and

day.

I felt that

and

of

possessor
fortune, but of
and

are

formal

accepted and negotiated at a wellThus, then, and in one moment, was

grace

honor

flatteries that
me,

be

was

letters; the third 1

bills for

my

descended

we

of the

the

"

mere

as

the seat

would

can

of

Marehesa

that

rich,
of

of two

CREGAN.

unobserved,

in Paris.

more

alone

not

into

peep

CON

OF

the

distant

along the
it is called,"the
borne

sudden

tional
air of devo-

and
most
the company,
spread itself over
while
in pious reverence
heads
they recited to
of the
the words
Angelus." If there seemed,

seriousness
bent

their

themselves
to

and

the

sense

unnatural

"

of
in

English Protestantism, something strange


a
degree of
this great revulsion, there was

SOIREE

THE

IN

251

WORLD."

"GREAT

of the worshippers
sincerityin the features
here
I might
that showed
their piety to be unfeigned ; and
leave the theme, were
incident
it not for an
which, taking
associated
in
forever
will remain
place at the same
moment,
and

earnestness

mind

my

with

brief interval

that

of

prayer.

Neapolitans term it, the


"
Vinti quatro," is that in which
the galley-slaves,
employed
to their prisons;
from dawn
of day at convict
labor, return
and while the streets
at that period exhibit long lines of men
hour

The

whose

of

sunset,

the

as

or,

needs

terrible

appearance
shocking dress

heightening

the

not

sories
acces-

heavy lumbering chain to


boats
the bay are
them
ing
movseen
criminals, over
pronounce
in sad procession, the clanking of the
fetters creaking
the ear, and
sounding like the wail of
mournfully upon
hopeless captivity.
stand the contrast
No
of pleasurableenjoyment can
scene
and too painful
of such a sight; the revulsion
is too sudden
terrible realityof
the lightfrivolityof mirth
from
to the
To
sufferingand sorrow.
escape, therefore, from the gloomy
withdraw
to
picture,the officers of the vessel endeavored
of

their guests from

and

deck

the

the cabin.

of

shelter

to the

The

change was
accomplished well and naturally,and we were
and
confusion
all gathered between
in that
turmoil
decks
which

form

part of
insignificant
of talkingand
entertainment, the buzz
no

laughter
heard

cry was
of the
and

and

above,

the sounds

when
side,
every
then the loud voice
of
"

watch, commanding

hundred
of

us

on

of

success

boat

to

every

of

pleasant
suddenly a
the

officer

instantlymanned

be

lowered.

few

heard

were

the

the

conjectures at
order

minutes
that

; but

one

of

an

end

later,put

dreadful
very
distance
from

short

remarked

handsome

the

once

to

incident
where

but whose

is calculated

accustomed
even

in crime.

to

the

to the

ing
mean-

hastily entering, a
guessing,by informing
just occurred

had

anchored

eastward

whose

say of
It would

we

name

she
were

confirm

to
our

"You

lay.

we

with

are

all

yacht, which
from

as

the officers

bay, coming up
English gentleman,
conduct

round

ran

national
seem

within

have
may
last night in

belonged
not

to

an

acquainted,

men
all that Frenchtaste

that at

an

for

tricity,
eccen-

earlyhour

252

CONFESSIONS

with

which

Obtained
and

to

he

would

to

it is said

going
in his

over

alleged

of

been

As

city,

all those
all those

already

sent

Police,

the

prisons of

examination

life.

for

had

he obtained

away,

galleys there, being determined, as it


On reaching Castelamare,
leave nothing unseen.
his tour of inspecthat he again;commenced
tion,
with the muster-book
the roll of the prisoners,

if to compare
against them, and

hand,

minute

most

galleys

different

of letters

visit the
to

seem,

Mole, and by means


provided to the Minister

Castelamare

at

order

the

at

the

the

to

CRBGAN.

CON

inspect the

to

under

pass

work

who

was

leave

condemned

an

he tended

morning

this

OS

their features

as

searching look.

visit

The

with

the

crimes

scrutinizingeach with a most


lasted till nigh evening ; and

little astonished
not
at the
was
a
although the governor
proceeding of the stranger, still less was he prepared for the
singularrequest which succeeded : it was, that he might be
permitted to return to Naples in one of the convict boats
instead
of in his own
might have been
gig. The demand
treated
or
man's
lightly,
altogetherrefused, but that the Englishand

indicated

manner

appearance
letter he carried

from

with

claims

consideration.

gave
which

the

for

rank, while

showed

the minister

him

to

governor,
time at
the same
the

from

be

one

therefore,

The

permission,smiling at
have
could
not
proceeded

the

caprice

native

of

any

other

country.
"The
Englishman took his seat in the
and, as I am told by the steersman, never
hour's time, muffling himself
for nigh an
that his very
the

over

in

deep

face

bay,

nor

was

concealed

looked

towards

reflection.

informant,

"

our

As

we

passenger

affected

he

"

amongst

other

on

bench, and

reasons,
then

the

men

of

spoke

boat,

the

moved

nor

so
up in his cloak
cast his eyes
; he neither
the shore, but sat like one

neared

might have been so, since


and
said that
springing up,
himself.
spell,just to warm
explained that the request could

"

stern

the

the

'Tariff a,'"
feel cold

to

evening

he would
The
not
were

and

breeze

like

said

to

my

chilly,

was

just
for

row

petty officer in charge


be

complied with,
chained

two

ami

since,
two

oar.
obliged to tug at the same
riably
Englishman, who
throughout the day had invaoverruled every
objection opposed to him, grew only

every
"The

254

OF

CONFESSIONS

of brilliant

Of

pleasure.

CON

CREGAN.

various

course

surmises

to

as

the

they all tended


that it proceeded from
to the conclusion
insanity, which
phenomena all
occasionallydisplays amongst its wonderful
the premeditation and circumspectionof accomplished guilt.
of this nature
is that of solemnity about
event
There
an
that even
by, and so, now,
frivolityitself stands rebuked
took
instead of resuming the occupations of pleasure,many
still remained, but
of those who
their leave suddenly ; and
that of madness
as
one
topicengrossed the conversation,
of guilt.
in all great cases
element
an
in all similar discussions, the superioritylay
Of course,
as
readiness
of expression, also
with
those who, with
more
this fearful

of

motive

act

uttered, but

were

"

and

in anecdote

possessed greater resources

illustration ; and

disposed to believe that all


great criminalityis allied with deranged intellect. The Marchesa, however, took the opposite side, and insisted that the
passion which prompted to the most terrible and appalling
and
sound
acts
was
perfectlyconsistent with right reason
judgment.
"

greater number

the

of these

impulse
Were

in

cases

to

know

we

in

rash

It is too

were

us," said she,

the secrets

to

assume

blind

mere

recognized insanity

where

even

"

heart, we

of the human

exists.

might,

long-cherishedpurpose in acts which


appear
These
be
dictated
to
impulses may
by momentary passion.
but
still
and ill-judging
be excessive, ill-directed,
;
they may
train of thought where
have their origin in some
generous
Witness
noble
heroic
those
and
aspirationsmingle.
feelings
perhaps, see

"

for

they

Sandt

after

and

Charlotte

of self did these


to

of

cause

the

all,heroic

are,

Corday.
evince

acts

Deeply

as

crime, it would

we

be

am

not

able

"

were

even

to

them

tion
perfect abrogadevotion

the horrid
to class

error

the

disposed

the student

of

consummate

condemn

great

vulgar criminals, or deny


something great."

What

; what

may

with

of

assassinations

"

"

these

motives,
to

nature

at

men

least,

repeat all the


supported her

ingenious arguments
by which the Marchesa
in support
opinion,nor the instances she so readilyadduced
of it.
She became
highly excited by the theme, and soon,
by the eloquence of her words and the fascinations of her

around

the

"GREAT

whole

255

WORLD."

in

company

attention

mute

her.

just

was

volcanic

she

as

descriptionof

concluded

and glowing
very animated
of the human
mind
when, by a
a

that condition
it were,

effort,as
ruin

scatter

to

THE

IN

enchained

manner,

It

SOIREE

and

officer entered

the

the

long-buried flames

destruction

cabin,

and

burst

forth,

every side, that a young


fascinated
by the powers

on

stood

fervid

of her

eloquence.
Mr.
Well,
Hardy," said the
to
youth's attention
duty, "have
"

Captain, recalling the


been

you

board

on

of

her?"

sir, she

"Yes,
late

her

written

owner

was

down

in my

after

hand, and,
this is the
life.

and

low

English baronet,
pocket-book."
the note-book

reading the
that

Most

of

present company

the

eccentric

Sir

broke

groan

chesa

Not

sat.

and

me,

the end

word,

have

so

officer's
young
If I mistake
not,

"

well

known

must

have

in London

heard

of

Dudley Broughton."

from

stealthilytowards

was

name

the

said,

person

'Firefly,'and

whose

from

name,
once

the

yacht,

same

the rich and


A

English

an

an

took

Captain

The

is

of

my
eyes slowly
the Martable, where

the

the

not

I turned

faintest

sound, had

issued

her

lips; but she sat still and motionless, her lips


slightly parted, and her eyes staring straight before her.
The
that of death
itself; and,
pallor of her features was
of the cheeks
and
the firm
tension
indeed, the rigid contour
from

of

the muscles
"

who

You

gave

beside

sat

turned

towards

advice.

She

them,

stretched
The

her,

sat

out

on

shocking
which

sudden

her ; but

with

that

whose

one

but

as

consciousness,

nor

gave

was

decided

at

erect, and

she

once

had

as

the

her
a

no

to

she

to

hear

rigidly

arms

statue.

sion
discus-

the

account

for

this

was
so
temperament
signs of recovering

slightest indication
that

now

suggest

not

occurred, and

nervous

showed

and

seemed

she

sufficient

it, were

finely strung;
it

head

gentleman

reply, several

attentions

indeed,

"

said

no

side, motionless

incident

in

made
their

press

her

either

followed

attack

to

Marchesa,"

she

as

spoke,

never

but

"

la

ill,Madame

are

of life.

evidence

no

should

be

of

rallying,
conveyed to

256

CONFESSIONS

where

shore,

was

of

one

and

sat

but

she

house

own

CREGAN.

medical

the

of

did

reached

be

might

aid

had

smile.

It

an

those

childish

Of

her
to

the

of

and

stern,

her

than

fixed
the

even

of

of

her

brow,

her

wild

pass

and

away,

for

settled

last

of

change

vices.
ser-

side,

ing
mean-

it

passed
seemed

of

to

terrific

it

she

their
side

from

slowly
if

as

This,

beauty.
a

all, for

the

features

her

into

crowd

and

melancholy

mouth

till

offer

to

instant

but

state

same

where

head

glance

calm

the

consciousness

awaited

to

itself, and

landing
in

her

about

she

forth

about

her,

them

when

the

likings

she

lingered
I

this, in which

missing

they

on

the

was

in

her

dislikings
to

her

sole

write,

them

reappeared.

others

and

spoke

never

neither

of

wilfulness

secret

cold

hard

and

she

had

hour

recognizing

mine

The

so

staircase,

an

the

was

more

boat,

in

was

stare

remained
trait

to

and

idiot

that

For

of

too,

cold

at

moved

hand

look

away,

thus

she

was

hand

cramped.

the

liveries,

forehead.

glided

show

she

with

her

into

and

richest

raised

her

the

suddenly

softened

she

Palazzo,

crowd

and

shore,

great

paroxysm

the

the

to

of

the

hand,

her

the

to

sufferings.

foot
the

her

far

the

lethargic

knew

bodily

the

held

"

'any

she

From

behold,

her

carry

and

rigid

evince

in

become

felt

ever

regarding

rigid

she

Then

too,

me

to

features,

to

passage

to

servants,

across

her

mere

the

way

of

terrible

During
our

afterwards,

fingers

look

workings

assisted

who

recognized

and

were

nor

her

never

impressive
eyes,

those

beside

clammy,

hour

her

CON

to.

recourse

on

in

OF

sad

they

again
while

She

she

never

absent,
had

usually

of

none

condition,

nor

did

nor

manifest

death.

depositary;

it has

never

and

escaped

from

my

that

lips.

RFEft-iSBSDV.
CONCLUSION.
HAD
The

shock

terrible

hope

to

that

and

recover,

prevailed,where
I made
various

air

an

of

had

set

wiser

by experience, I did not


display of my
any
gorgeous

by

and

the

worn

for

out

least,it could

at

gloom

visit,therefore,

embassies, and

stay at
my
had
received
a

moved

time,

some

latelyall

so

farewell

my

for

prolong

to

which

society in

Naples.
so

inducements

few

at

to

despondency

liveryof pleasure.
the

Paris.

seek

not

court, and

This

time, grown

astonish

riches.

the

the

world

travelled

with

of which
contained
carriages, one
my luggage ; the
other, a light "coupe," I occupied alone.
My route lay
and
the Apennines to Milan,
through Rome
Florence, across

but

and

two

thence, by the

Switzerland
which

; but

journeyed.

glorious
saw

My

scenery
little of the

whole

of

the

varied

thoughts

Spliigen,into
through

scenes

engaged

were

upon

the future.
I had

once

and
should

more

my

I had

what

of rich

II,

"

17

catechizingmyself

already observed

pursuitof pleasure, which


VOL.

great prize in the world's


in

what

tery,
lot-

way

power.

seemed

men

the

ceased

never

exercise

From

won

to me,

their

of

take
life,the great mis-

addiction

gradually gained

an

to

some

undue

one
ascen-

258

OF

CONFESSIONS

CKEGAN.

CON

minds, and exercised at last an unwonted


degree of tyranny. The passion for play, the love of pictures,
the taste for company-seeing, the sports of the field,
and so on, ought never
to be allowed
place,
any paramount
il" my

used

or

their

over

as

as

and

men,

ployed
things should be simply emother
of obtaining an
means
ascendency over
which
is never
denied
to
of exercising that sway

pursuits;

all these

success.

Some

men

are

your

slaves

because

your
look

cook

is

unrivalled,

incomparable : others
up to you because
vie ;
can
none
your equipages exhibit an elegance with which
because
more
bone,
thoroughbreds are larger, show
your
and can-}7 the highest condition.
Others, again, revere
you
and
and
Rembrandts
for your
Titians,
Vandykes
your
your

or

cellar

your

Murillos, your

missals, your

illuminated

antique marbles.

peculiar
society you can exhibit some
and
special temptation, which, in their blind admiration,
fault is it
they refer to as an attribute of yourself. Your own
! The triumphs of Raphael
their error
discover
if they ever
and
Velasquez shed a reflected lightupon him who possesses
that wealth
excellence
can
them ; and so of each
purchase.
To

every

You

stand
own

your

section

of

embodied

in

receive
person
achieved.
have

the
the

exercise

of

adulation

your
which

taste, and

greatness and

genius
To
accomplish this,however, requires infinite
must
great abrogation of self. All individuality
and

new

character

created, from

crafts and
callings.
many
inordinate
To have any
one
of which
spot in one's armor

the

in

tact

be

and

merged,

"disjecta membra"

of

passion
the

is to

cunning

betray a
will

soon

weak
take

meditations
1 rolled
as
Such
were
my
among
advantage.
Paris ; and so long as I journeyed alone, with
along towards
own
thoughts, these
companionship than my
opinions appeared sage and well reasoned ; but how soon
capital,and
were
they routed as I drove into that gorgeous
it
as
the full tide of its pleasure-lovinginhabitants
saw

no

other

the
farther
vain to reason
upon
proudly past ! How
limits!
how
wealth
set no
regulation of a life to which
impossible to restrain one's self within the barriers of cold
for asking 1
to be had
prudentialthought, where all was

rolled

259

CONCLUSION.

Con, your

Ah,
the

of your

corner

the vacant
or

coupe,

of

stare

vignerou

some

you
Vendome

and

is the

the

see

illustrious

while, sittingin
along unnoticed, save by

in

blue

in wooden

in the window

stand

that

excellent

was

rolled

you

short-legged wench

some

who

philosophy

of your

gathering

arrival?

your

' '

nightcap,

cotton
"

sabots

but

now

great hotel in the Place


which

crowd
heart

inquires,

begins

beat

to

the
quicker and fuller ; you feel like a great actor, for whom
is already impatient; nor
is the curtain
to remain
house
You
are
longer down.
scarcely an hour in Paris when
your
without
cards
are
number,
began to call. Here
camp
officers in high command,
courtiers, ministers, and aides-devisitors

"

of

those

is like

precludes the

first visit.

The

fair, with its crush of equipages, the


is actually besieged.
Every language of Europe is

"place"
hotel
heard
is

rank

whose

within

its f

porte-cochere," and your


with
questionings enough

overwhelmed

chasseur

own

to

drive

him

distracted.
Is it any wonder
how
those in high station
"

the poor
the

man

great and

wealth, when

adulates

titled of the earth

are

"

it !
ready to worship and revere
My first care was, of course, to present myself before the
at once
to the
Prince, my
gracious master, and I drove
Tuileries.
There
was
a receptionthat morning by the King,
so

and

the

his

to

me

Due

Majesty,

asked

several

me

is not

Yours

very

forward

me

and

presented
of

eulogistic account

my

the

graciously to

most

narrative, and

be

complimentary to me.
originallya Spanish family, Count
to

; I

fancy

is Celtic."

name

Yes, Sire, we

"

led

at my
put me
ease,
courtesy that at once
all
ingeniously
questions about my campaigns,

cordial

contrived

the

with

listened

King

then, with

' '

St. Cloud

in Africa.

services
The

de

came

from

Ireland," said

I, blushing in

spite of myself.
"Ah,
of

races

tried

to

learn

who

"

true.
There
very
between
the two

always

nations.

And

great interchange
have

you

never

Irish
as
so
ancestors,
your
house?"
of your
the lineal descendants
are
of action than
been hitherto, Sire,rather
a
man

trace

I have

was

back

among

to

of

260

CONFESSIONS

thought

reflection.

OF

CON

CKEGAN.

obtain

To

possession of a property
I undertook
a journey to, and
belongingto my family,
along
residence in, Mexico; and although successful in this, a subsequent
misfortune
of
all I owned, and left me
deprived me
The
led me
to take
good fortune which
actually in want.
service under
deserted
Majesty has, however, never
your
enabled
and I am
the station that
once
again to assume
me,
belonged to me."
The
King heard me with apparent pleasure,and after a
Paris
and
about
few generalities
acquaintances, said :
my
"His
Royal Highness the Due de St. Cloud has asked me
to appoint you
on
personal staff. There is not at the
my
or

present

you
in the meanwhile."

de-camp

Overwhelmed

this

by

gratitude in

silence ;

devotion,

retired

assured, the

more

as

and,

with

air

an

show

of

the

royal presence.
truest
politeness; for

the

chances

I should

were

had

company

was

the young
demands

on

contempt

did

exactly

attache

English

I left

as

look

now

his little routine

Prince

assembled
sense

which
a

kind

in

mere

and

in

the

upon

arm

my

time

same

battle,and
and

childhood

believed

we

to

hillocks, that in after life


are

mighty."

He

at Court.

there,

was

many

of

couriers

those

we

I had

used

while

me

than

the
the

familiarlyover

confident

more

feelingwith

the

I looked

discover

be

we

and

honors

won

stood

now

chatted

company.

small

grand seigneur to

Nothing gave
of my
own
standing in the world
I now
once
regarded those whom
of awe.
It is preciselyas we

which
are

him

upon

the airs of

the field of

upon

leaned

very

"

laquais de place,while
rewards

him, muddling away in the petty details of


spatch,
life, signing a passport or copying a de-

playingoff
and

I been

insolentlytreated my
what
With
sovereign

so

Paris.

down

did

I discovered

them

among

had

who

first visit to

my
I

and

numerous,

great

endeavored

have

say

The

my

Thus

something, and
consequently committed
grievous breach of etiquette.
The followingday I received an invitation to dine
to

bow

only

and

aide-

extra

an

distinction, I could

from

feeling suggest

proper

shall be named

but

vacancy,

up to with
that the hills

gigantic mountains

find out
to

think

how
of

bably
indescrias

'

'

high

262

CONFESSIONS

while

"

advocate

of

"rights

your

insists

OF

this

nothing else than

man"

CREGAN.

and

"popular sovereignty
always being the king of his company.
dear
digression, my
reader, if for

upon

Forgive

CON

because

it shall

be

the

last time

of

my

offending.
I

had

enjoyed myself at Paris about two months, or


thereabouts, in which, having most
satisfactorily
arranged
all my monetary matters, and
besides
able
having a considerin the English funds
found
sum
myself down in the
"
Grand
Livre
for a couple of million of francs,
a feature
now

"

"

"

"

made

which

me

much-caressed

individual

in that

social

new

order

just then springing up, called the "financiere"


which, if with few claims to the statelymanners

one

class,
of

the

and
as
Faubourg," numbered
as
pretty women
many
could
be found
as
I been
agreeable ones
anywhere. Had
matrimonially disposed, this set would
certainlyhave been
the attentions
which
beset me
dangerous ground for me,
like adulation.
The
truth
being almost
however,
was,
Maria
Donna
had
left an
impression which comparison with
I felt,if I were
others did not efface.
it might as
to marry,
well be for high rank
and
family influence, since I never
could do so for love.
ening,
My nobilityrequired a little strength"

"

nor

was

supporting

there

it than

houses

peaceful

ranged

between

and

masses

and

fortunes
the

of

quated
anti-

those

undiminished

but

St.

"Faubourg

"

The

the hours.

there, I

Castilian

blood

admission

for

must

! had

main."
Ger-

me

all

Piety and
family
my
the

been

into

these

everything seemed

say,

"

where

antiquityof

the houses, the salons, the

the

of

some

tric-trac,

horses, carriages,

servants,
and

and

with

of

space here to recount


my adventures
deserted
amusements
quarter, whose

the pureness
of my
obtained
which

out

worn

solitudes

and

divided

precincts;

small

efficient mode

more

afford

in that

Joan

or

alliance

an

with

the

I cannot

Pope

by

who,

pride, inhabited

easier

any

tensions
presacred

old and

furniture, the masters,

were

as

old

as

ties
the formali-

opinions they professed.

ness
the young
ladies had got a premature cast of seriousof juvenility. Whether
that took away
every semblance
formed
associatingwith them, or that I had voluntarilycon-

Even

from

to

the

staid

Puritanism

of

their

manners,

I cannot

263

CONCLUSION.

and
rallyme
say, but my other acquaintances began to quiz
"
' '
said that the change
about
Legitimist air,and even
my
been
at Court.
had
remarked
This

was

and

I hastened

had

always

that

observation

an

to the

off

admitted

de

Due
the

to

me

gave
St.

most

me

uneasiness,

some

kindness

Cloud, whose

intercourse.

open

all remarked
quite true, Creganne," said he, "we
the old ones
of
that you were
coquetting with the ' vieux,'
and
the Faubourg;
misgivings
although / had never
any
"

It is

"

about

bare

"

done, then?

I, in my

said

seeming ungrateful.
you," said he: "there's

distress

tell

post of secretary

the

embassy just vacant at Madrid ; your knowledge


language, and your Spanish blood, admirably fit you
of

it in your behalf?
scarcely speak, for gratitude. I
Shall

mission.
I could

I ask

for

"charge," some
recognized position

public

some

The

Due"

"

that

just

was

they

in

mission, I

Madrid
for

you,
I could

"

the Prince

myself

in

to credit

them.

own," resumed

he;

England, and,

better

Of

real rank

my

avoiding all
of

that

after

for

am

ears

will be known
and

remarkable

as

his

about

travel
to

parade,

for
a

absence

an

"This

was

of

post of ambassador

it,too."
these
words, and

heard

tidingsere
for

now

still,to
I

the

better, obtained

"And

"I

course

state

and

room,

obliged to repeat

was

the

Foreign
with the King, and
seeing
and
humor,
discussing the

asked

ay, and, what's


believe my
not

me.

the

good

even

for

longing
give me

was

would

that

the

wealth.

as

conversation

both

were

from

station

of

"

back, laughing, to say:


of mine, for the Minister

came

quite a brilliant idea


Affairs

well

as

hurried

half-an-hour

of

at the

of

thought

"I'll

less charitable."

were

is to be

What

"

others

you,

to

little plan of

make

Ireland.

bring

I could

You

short

my
visit to

must

pany
accom-

that
'incog.,'which means
all persons
in authority; but,
I

shall

be

able

country of which

to

thing
some-

see

I have

heard

so

much."
I
but
back
"

acknowledged a degree of curiosityto


bewailed
ignorance of the language
my
to the pleasuresof the journey.
But you do know
a little English," said

the full
as

as

great,

great draw'

the Prince.

264

CONFESSIONS

Not

"

I could

1 have

to have

been

CBEGAN.

CON

"

I, coolly.

fluently, so

When

1 have

"

child,I believe

but

heard;

utterlyforgotten all about

it."

since that

This

may
but
it
was
part,

seem

not
gratuitous fiction on my
to prove
tell the reader a little incident
it,I must
A certain
running in my mind at that moment.

; and

which

it

speak

period
so

said

word,"

OF

was

is too familiar for me


to
Tipperary gentlemau, whose name
called upon
a
print,once
countryman in Paris, and, after
ringingstoutly at the bell,the door was
opened by a very
mediately
maid," whose
smartly dressed
grisette cap and apron im"

seemed

Capitaine,

her to be French.
"Est
pronounce
O'Shea
Monsieur
ici?" asked
siderable
he, in conto

est

"

hesitation.

Oh, sir ! you 're English,"exclaimed

"

London

the

maid, in

very

accent.

"

Yes, my little darlin',I was


askiug for Captain O'Shea."
said she, with a very significant
"Ah, sir,you're Irish!
"
fall of the voice.
So," as he afterwards
remarked, " my
"

French

showed

that

was

English, and

English

my

that I

Irish."

was

from
Now, although my French would have passed muster
Cannes
to Caen, my
English had something of the idiomatic

peculiarityof
only to speak
There

about

to

once

an
"

no

tour

down
old

an

in Ireland, I must

to

Colonel

great

Boulogne

were

to

consent

even

situation

for

talk
man

journey was
with

to ; and

inevitablydetected.

be

choice

it" in Ireland

made

were

travelled

alluded

"

the Prince's

As

gentleman just

for it ; I must
interpreter, a rather dull

then

was

through

the

secret

caution

with

Demannais,

in

and

merely
who

Paris,our

We

other

one

had

ments
arrange-

despatch.
been

nion,
compafor some

and
prisonerin England, and spoke English fluently,
nothing in our " cortege
only three servants
; there was
betraying the rank of his Royal Highness.
Apartments had been prepared for us at Mivart's, and
dined
each day at the French
we
Embassy,
going to the
Opera in the evening, and sight-seeingall the forenoon,

years
with

"

"

like

genuine
; but

Prince
not

even

would

have

"

Court
The
was
country cousins."
in London, I conclude
had it been

have

attracted

been

received

publicity.

in

some

mode

which

in Scotland
that

the

should

265

CONCLUSION.

days sufficed for

Ten

visit which

to

eagerness.
Never

his

can

Royal Highness

forget

which, about

barefooted

and

had

from

what

they

the

were?

once

all

was

with

Ireland,

impatience

which

make

alone
them

The

hotel

and

I landed

before, I had

change

objects, to

for

set out

we

years

Was

the

over

dozen

hungry

come

sensations

the

that shore,

what

and

town,"

"

quitted

in
so

on

me

; or

ferent
dif-

very

that

bered
remem-

to have

regarded as a kind of palace, where splendor


and
now
profusion prevailed, seemed
dirty and uncared-for
;
the waiters slovenly,the landlord
the
rude,
apartments mean,
and
the food detestable ! The
as it paraded
on
public itself,

pier,was not that gorgeous panorama


mingled elegance and fashion I used

the
the

of wonderment

eyes
Good

looks

and

there

were,

air of

the

changes

there,

saw

"

regard with such

to

become
for

"

what
pretty, no matter
! good lack, what
but the men
Without

once

What
had
envy.
and in abuudance,

will be

come

of

Irish

them?
women

the land ;

over

strange aspect did they

fashion

you
characteristic
of

in

see

Paris,

sent
prethat

or

strongly marked
style and manliness
the parks of London
exhibit, here were
displayed a kind of
whose
swaggering self-sufficiency
pretension was
awfully
at variance
with the mediocrity of their dress, and the easy
Some
were
aquatics,
jocularitythat leered from their eyes.
and
wore
Jersey shirts and frocks, loose trousers, and low
shoes
they overdid their parts, and lounged like Tom
; but
more

Cooke

in

Others
on

formed

sea-piece.
lesques
even
appeared as elegans,and were
greater burthe part.
It was
quite clear, however, that these

portion

no

I hastened

so

very
In

to

better

classes

full tide

of

alone

and

fashion

sets

of

exciting course

another

; but

appearance

here

of

all

that

affluence

an

I had

taste

capital,and
looks
bespoke

greater than

were

other

seen

abound, and

"in"

activityand

actual

of the

Prince, whose

the

assure

not

was

capitals,where
more

the

palpable disappointment.
Dublin, however, the changes
It

the

of

decline

in

and

pected.
ex-

greater

where, while

quarter, the still

one

industry flows along in


had taken
place in the

everything. The shops,


looked in disrepair. There

the
were

streets, the
few

habitants
in-

carriages,

206

CONFESSIONS

nothing deserving the

CON

OF

CllEGAN.

of

like

of that stir
none
equipage,
which
movement
characterize
a
capital. It all looked
out their old houses
a place where
people dwelt to wear

and

old

and

longer

name

and

garments,

wearable.

"

leave

to

Windows

both

mended

behind
with

them

paper,

when

no

pantaloons

party-colored cloth, "shocking bad hats,"


car-drivers, and great troops of beggars of every age
mangy
of mendicancy, were
with even
and
walk
in the best
met
quarters ; and with all these signs of poverty and decay,
air of swaggering recklessness
there was
in every
an
one
All
that was
out of temper with
were
particularlystriking.
"
Ireland
for the Irish" was
England and English rule; and
becoming a popular cant phrase,
pretty much on the same
luck
principle that blacklegs extinguish the lights when
for " the bank
in
have a scramble
goes against them, and
the dark.
The
strangest of all was, however, that nobody
seemed
died or left the place since I remembered
it
to have
down
Bachelor's
the burly barrister
as
a
boy. There went
Walk, with the same
sturdy stride I used to admire of yore,
with

patched

"

"

his

"

cheek

portly,perhaps, but

with

repelledthe freedom
civic magistrates,the same
he

had

dandies

even

the

crop,

sadly running

Even

Castle

the

to their old

true
as

It

ever.

the

that

is

How

wild

and

in the

hold,

the

ready

to

hand
But

it here,
to

me,

We

had

save

account

dined

been

officials

which

the

were

same

"y,
old

were

as
they were
empty and insolent
again at
English pale performed over

Irish"

of centuries

are

its limits

all without

and

to

ever

ago.
take
the

turning
the

man

out

who

With
for

sea,

the

were

thought I,

six feet of water

higher

counsels

and

wages,

them

to

put

I to do

to mention
for

There

with

the
replaced, but were
marvellously illcared for.
beautifullyconsistent, and

Yard,

crew

frown

"

mutiny everywhere!

to the pump

what

witness.

seed, and

overboard

throw

imposing

attorneys, dancing-masters,

like this

craft

misery

with

not

to

the

was

"

and

of

traditions

Castle

Upper

kerns

the

cajoled the jury, and

then

somewhat
more
presence
self-same
smile with which
he

little redder, his

with

all this?

the straits and

changes that

everywhere, from

I had

that

Nor

would

I allude

difficulties which
never

to

beset

anticipated.

viceregalpalace in

267

CONCLUSION.

We

musty halls of the Chief Secretary in the


fall
partook of a civic feast, a picnicat the water-

had

one

the

to

Bwamp,
Castle.
; we

way,

Hon.

Captain

recognized

still constant

his

complexion and
much

had

You

said

speak

to

of

crowd

had

once

"

forget,

; but

publiclywhipped
I felt
I checked

my

sympathy

or

absurd, and
the

only

house

of

my

off, or

whether

never

rode

have

To

resided

native

good."

thought
expended

upon
any
been

have

invitations,was

our

in

midland

We

place.

edifice of

arrived

modern

was

speech, but

boy, besides, would

who

Castle, an

this

as

he

to

came

at

might,

Among

baronet

from

Knockdangan

which

as

villain?"

cheek

his.

upon
to the

silent.

was

miles

few

and

rascal

young

he

anger

condition

own
my
interest

certain

am

rise to my
passion ; and well I

flush of

of the

I let him

whether

now,

the

by

I, at the bare thought of such

became

What

stolen

mare

worse,

Don't

"

carriages.

valuable

was

dismounting

was

day."

"

as

of

vagrants, and, what

indignity.

at

in the

"

"

to

review,

the

Comte,"

Le

Mons.

groom,

your

steeplechase the same


Pas possible !
exclaimed

her at

an

for

at

me

fellows.

those

higher

her of yore.

people

some

those

trust
one

to

little

"

wait

to

staff, and

the

on

"

better

Courcy

De

days, the

other

profuse ringlets, it is strange how


looked
increasing with years,
pretty

more

go on
I remembered

what

"

still

was

here, by the

flame, who, with

ancient

hair

color and

He

And
of

acquaintance

Courcy.

De

to

old

an

military!

the

with

day

one

county,
at night

gothic style,

marvellously expensive residence, rendered


almost
uninhabitable
by the necessity of having winding
stairs, narrow
corridors, low ceilings,and pointed windows.

The

house

had

arrived

that
rooms

room,
to

be

means

was

full of

the

company,

greater part

whom

unexpectedly ; still,our reception was


everything
of the drawingOne
genial hospitalitycould dictate.
had
been
into a kind
of barrackalready converted
with half-a-dozen
beds
in it; and now
the librarywas
devoted

leading
reserved

to

the

it, about

off

for

me.

Prince, while
the

If

size

these

and

hostess

showed

it.

small

shape of

arrangements

inconvenience, certainlynothing in the


or

of

They

and

octagon
a

were
manner

their

numerous

tower

tea-tray,was
attended

with

of either

host

family of

268

CONFESSIONS

and

sons

daughters
life to

thing

in

their

friends

friends

be

for

Several
houses

sleptat
in

little

of

temple

variety of

take

it

thrown

into
their

disorder

to

friends, but
half

than

more

the

as

of

natural

most

accommodate
their

the

friends'

present

pany.
com-

the

in the

contrivances

the

"

CREGAN.

to

proved

so

CON

seemed

alone

not

OF

in

boys," meaning the sons of the host,


neighborhood ; one actuallybivouacked
There
the garden.
seemed
limit to
no

of

kind

our

entertainers, either

in

the

the

plans for pleasure,or the hearty good-nature


with which
in any suggestion of the guests.
they concurred
All that Spanish politenessexpresses,
here
as
a phrase, was
reduced
to actual
at the disposal
practice. Everything was
of the stranger.
Not alone was
he at libertyto ride, drive,
fish,shoot, hunt, boat,
at his

were

whether

to

disposal,and

own

dined

he

his

in his

will, but

at

course

or

generalcompany.
could
provide was
was
ample freedom

Nothing

that the most

omitted,

at

of cultivation

that would

the

to

hours

libertyunfettered, even
apartment, or joined

own

secured

all his

same

all.
have

as

the

courteous

attention

time

the

that

Here, too,
the

found

polished
European capital. Foreign languages were
any
well understood
and
spoken ; music practised in its higher
out of the
walks ; drawing cultivated with a skill rarelyseen
and general
of professed masters
hands
; subjectsof politics
and a liberality
with a knowledge
discussed
literature were
that bespoke the highest degree of enlightenment ; while to
of native character
lent an
all these giftsthe general warmth
and
of kindliness
charm
indescribable
cordialitythat left

tone

graced

was

most

most

society of

stranger who

none

spent

even

hours

twelve

their

beneath

roof.
Prince

The
and

himself

he

hunting

in

occurred
a

no

made

to

not

less

for

The

less
him

him, in

and
grace
him "a

new

everything and every one,


favorite with all.
Every fall he got
that
popular ; every misadventure

in ecstasies

was

more

trying to

to native

conform

his character.

charm

to

love,"

and

hearty,encomium,

with

the

in less

men,

called him

"

The

devilish

tastes, gave
ladies

pronounced
polished,but

good

fellow

Frenchman."
habits

exactlyhow

already alluded to, of each guest living


pleased,gave a continual novelty to the com-

I have
he

270

CONFESSIONS

with

small

OF

CON

CREGAN.

black

skull-cap,a stooping figure,and a great


gold cross, which, I concluded, represented the holy man;
something in black, with a very long veil descending from
the back of her head, being as evidently
the niece.
A few
formal
introductions
were
through in clever
gone
pantomime, dinner was
announced, and the company
paired
off in all stateliness,while the host, seizingmy
led me
arm,
a

the

across

fair

who

widow,

endeavor
Your

"

in

that

thaw

to

solemn

words

presented
accepted my arm,

procession by

the

to

me

and

away

which

people

the ice of first acquaintance.

first visit to

Spanish, wishing
Seilhor,

"Yes,

few

courtesied,and

in

marched

we

in

and

room,

Ireland, I believe, Senhora?

something

to say

and

also,

yours

as

"

walked

we

said

I,

along.
replied

understand?"

she.
Not

"

exactly,"muttered
"when

myself;

was

I, taken

boy,

suddenly

too

child

mere

to

"

recover

I here

"

accident

word
almost
employed a Mexican
synonymous
"
French
gamin." She started,and said eagerly,

the

been

have

you
"

in Mexico

Seiihora, I

Yes,

by
with

How

"

"

have

passed

some

in

years

that

country."
"I

Mexican," cried she, delightedly. "Tell


me,
did you know
there?
where
have you travelled,and whom
"
T have travelled a good deal, but scarcelyknew
any one,"
am

"

Guajuaqualla
there?
"Oh,
were
My
you
she, fervidly.
home," exclaimed
"At

repliedI.

"Then

"

"

probably

know

you

neighborhood,

own

Estaban

Don

my

"

Olares,"

said

I.

"My

father!"

own

I turned
of

entrance

round; our
eyes met;
the dinner-room, where

it
a

just

was

blaze

everything,and

of

her

at

the

lightwas
hand trembling,

there upon
my arm
her cheek
colorless,and her eyes swimming in tears
!
of
Donna
Maria
Neither
us
spoke, neither of us
on

speak !
several
with
the

"

and

while

decorations

"

her
I

eyes

wore

wandered
upon

agonising intensitythe look


table towards
the place where

my
of

from

my
breast, and
terror

her

uncle

very
shed

she
was

face

was

"

could
to

the

I watched
threw

down

seated, I

271

CONCLUSION.

plainlythat

saw

painful mystery

some

strugglingwithin

was

mind.

her

Do

"

let my
uncle recognize you," said she, in a low
is not
"he
likelyto do so, for both his sight and

not

whisper;

impaired."
hearing are much
"
But
why should I not claim
if not

him

friend, Senhora, if he be

Hush!

as

the

old

an

Fra

same

be

acquaintance,
"

Miguel?

I will tell you


all tomorrow,
cautious," cried she;
to-night,if there be a fitting
opportunity. Let us
shall be remarked."
talk of something else, or we
I tried my
best to obey her, but I fear my
a
attempt was
able, however, to listen to her with a certain
; I was
poor one
"

"

"

of

amount

much

she

had

had

Years

forth,

and

mouth,

how

saw

new

of

powers

spoke to me of
feeling grieved or

and

and

met.

but

of

her

playful delicacyof

her

liquid softness

the

how

of fascination

had

served

pleasing.
her widowhood

sorry.
had
been

lived, her existence


he

full

consciousness

She
of

charms

long-lashed eyes,

lend

to

the

in the

and

doing so, to remark


and
beauty since we
which
girlhood then

in grace

improved

developed

shadowed
dark

aud, while

composure,

So

without

long

Geloso

Don

as

like that of

affectation

any

in

nun

had

cloister ;

jealous to suffer her to go into the world, and,


at the
Court
save
Chapel each morning and evening, she
never
saw
anything of that brilliant society in which her
her uncle was
created
equals were
moving. When
Bishop of
to that city to visit him, and
had never
Seville, she removed
her

seen

of
of

too

was

husband

life, whose

any

Estaban

was

would

monotony

less

nature

Such, in few words,

after.

dead

and

buoyant
of

; aud

have

elastic

him

she

broken
than

her

spoke

the

was

with

story
spirit

the

Don

own.

deep

and

lot was
feeling,betraying besides that her own
rendered
almost
one
a friendless
by the bereavement.
That
walked
same
through the rooms,
evening, as we
of which
host
our
examining pictures and ancient armor,
affectionate

was

somewhat

had

alluded
the

The

liked

Fra,
or

vain,
at

I learned

table,

and

revelation

who

trusted

had
me,

never,

the secret

to which

divestingwhich

occasioned
for

happened

some

of

herself, was
reasons

to discover

the Senhora

rassment
all the embar-

brieflythis

of his own,
some

either

circumstances

272

CONFESSIONS

OF

CON

CUEGAN.

in Texas, and
earlier adventures
even
my
duel
rambles
with
to the night of my

of

my
Hence

he

character

that

my

and

that

about

in which

me,

Ranchero.
conclusion

ungenerous

so

my

himself

and

the

in

me

unimpeachable as I affected,
actuallyopen to question! An
Geloso
taken place between
Don

not

was

veracity was
correspondence had

active
and

rash

the somewhat

drew

traced

the

former, after great

searches,
re-

had
pronounced that no noble family of my name
existed in Old Spain, and
that, in plain fact, I was
nothing
In
!
this
terrible
delusion
better than
the old
an
impostor
he of the bare possibility
gentleman died ; but so fearful was
tile
of injuringone
veins flowed the pure blood of Casin whose
he besought the Bishop to ascertain
that on his death-bed
the fact to a certainty,and not to desist in the investigation
till he

traced

had

my
he had

this condition

Upon

Church,

and

Maria's

alone

not

and

birth, parentage,

to

me

bequeathed

all his

country.

all his fortune

all Donna

wealth, but

own

to the

also.

other
no
Ireland, therefore, had
for
baptismal certificate, an
my

visit

Bishop's

The

to

look

object than to
investigation,I

"

need

difficult and

somewhat

scarcely say,

intricate !
Of

in

course,

hesitated

regard

to

; but

endow

but
a

find

to

me

for

to

ears,
my
undervalued.
course

life !
too

foreign

myself;

of

me

but

For

invention

relate the full

the
as

noble

and

of title and

said she,

"

much

of

orders

which

her

rank

adventurer.

/should

I
as

so

desire

anything

in my

treachery! and,

and

so

life I
when

life,I limited

less

indisputable,
"

Were

he

her mind

more

to

little startling
to

of

than

pleased to

felt little inclination

often

to

have

companionship
were

wore,

vidual
indi-

be condemned

to
significance

first time

story of my

would

this terror, however

and

to

Bishop's

that he

ignoble

somehow

fiction in
!

wealth

the

never

calumniated

and

present position,the

my

to accredit

of

"

of

she

her
a

poor

had

Prince, the

vein

me

injured

an

was

with

recognize you,"

nunnery

Of

as

me

to discover

to

confession, the fair Contessa

assured

so

Church

the

brooked
than

this

largely I

be

the

su

dent
in-

represent
that

for

had

regarded this

dulged
inflow

pressed by her to
myself to that period

273

CONCLUSION.

which, beginning with


to the

down

of

simple solution

the

it made

that

mystery
the

of

evidence
than

tellingI

of

moment

African

my

campaign, brought
in love.

was

; nor

such

me,

I cite

can

ennobling

of

nature

I was,

as

Such

me

is the

more

the

vincing
con-

passion

tenacious

of

the

truth.

Every succeedingday brought


Sefihora,and

the

taught

women

of

nature

personal beauty.
of

course

such

study

The

seclusion
led

had

few

as

her for

her

to

Spanish

which

chargave an almost serious acter


than
childlike buoyancy.
We

of, and

think

ever

to

by

intimacy with

to value

more

passed her last few years

her mind

cultivate

of

those

other graces than


in which
she had

and

more

me

into closer

me

more

joyous land, to which she seemed


longing
of our
to return, and
first meeting beside the " Rio Colloredo," and then of our next
meeting on her own
marriageeach
where, if ever, we should see
day ; and she wondered
other again !
not to be lost.
I pressed
The opportunitywas
talked

of her

hand

her
told

to

her

neither

own

lips,and

my

for

that,
home

asked

kindred.

confessed

everything,even

myself

live with

if she
that

her

to

liked
I

was

"bit

that

of

to

no

ties,

would

I needed

that

that

would

Old

the

cityof

some

to

had
have

moment

when

I told her

that wealth

not

rob

World.

her.
I

In

of

which

fact, I said

added

paintersintroduce
heighten the landscape. I
simply

was

that

"

at

me

I pledged
birth !
my humble
the sierras of the Far West, or,

true ; and

was

red,"

to

amidst

covetousness

so, it

not

was

better,in
rich,and

uncle's

great deal

her

leave

never

country had

me,

nor

her

anything

as

that

figurewith

will not

weary

my fair reader with all the little doubts, and hesitations,and


fears, so natural for her to experienceand express ; nor will
I tire my
turn.

the

male

companion by saying how

Love, like

declaration,
"

in either

depositions;

lawsuit, has but

then

and

delight.
The
Bishop,
VOL.

II.

"

then

case;

one,

with

18

ritual.

one

each

First

follow
and
I

the
was

whom

come

the

the

cross-examinations

verdict.
almost

my

"affidavits,"the
In
out

it
case
my
of my
senses

acquaintanceship had

in

comes

usuallya pretty unintelligible


pieceof

which, the charge


favorable

I combated

ness,
busi-

sworn

after
was

with

never

274

CONFESSIONS

bet ray til my

Prince,

the
a

secret,

friend

true

for his

to leave

was

whom

to

I told

Love-making
; but

thoughts

he

hours
pass some
took
the occasion
which

had

would

in

take

remainder

left

me

still as, for

to

Ireland

The

departure.

fortune.

CREGAN.

few

everything,with

promised that

own

CON

OF

and

days,

the kindness

the very

we

day

same

to leave

were

little time

of

for

to

other

any

appearance' sake, I was


obliged
Donna
Maria, I
day apart from

of every
of one
of

these

forced

absences

visit

to

changeful fortunes

quitted my mind
through all the
of my life,
the little spot where
1 was

born.

morning

scene

Rising
Horseleap, to

one

humble

of

and

been

little

of

as

of

more,

and

for

rode

shop

one

not

have

known

and

used

to

the

had

not

detected

the

about

was

far when
gone
my
of
roof
the cabin

the spot !

of

Many

supply the
I passed on
Con's

"

eye,

There
the

now

the

rafters bore

closed, and
poor was
towards
the cross-roads
where

heart

for

time, the

pestilence,and

the blackened

that

last

out

full of old
mind
my
reach the place till nigh

tenautless.

; in some,

the

I set

distance

The

famine

almost

day,

slowly,

never

of

season

unroofed
The

break

childhood.

my

! I should

village was

fire.

at

reflections,I did

Alas

noon.

once

miles ; but

memories

were

"

see

home

sixteen

had

never

cabius

tokens

humble
with

of

ries
luxu-

heavy
lay.
a

Acre"

catch

strainingto

it,

rising above the little thorn


the old stonehedge that flanked the road.
Ay, there was
I used to play in, as a child, fancying that its granite
quarry
mountain
its little pools were
sides were
precipices,and
for hours
which
the gate on
lakes.
There
was
long I have
of moorland, and
wondering
sat, gazing at the bleak expanse
had
faker
if all the wide
world
or
more
nothing
beyond
beautiful
' l

on

The
name,

lives in that cabin

Who

the

this.

than

yonder

"

asked

I, of

peasant

road.
man

it

replied that

I could

which, however,

the

"

was

catch.

not

from
Ireland, I could not
away
especialtitle given to the Protestant
I rode

was

reduced

old

woman

up

to

to
came

the

door

out

as

such

I drew

adding

Long

clergyman

wondering

dwelling of

"

how

humble
up,

and

was

of the

it chanced

as

forget that this

been

and

minister;

me

had

the

parish,
that

pretensions.
told

his

that

he
An
the

275

CONCLUSION.

curate

from

was

requestingme
parlortill he came.

hour
the

"

to

would

but

home,

in my

put

back

be

in less than

an

sit down

beast," and

in

her into the cabin,


accepted the invitation,followed
different
which, although in a condition of neatness
very
I remembered
from
what
it of old, brought back all my boyish
in
instant.
There
the
with
an
was
fireside,
where,
days
feet roasting before
the blazing turf, I had
naked
sat and
I

sleptfull many
as
nothing to
where

corner

those

law

hour, dreaming

an

real

adventures

of

life had

my

throughout the
father would
bring back

papers

sit

to

my

met

stood the little bed


Kilbeggan. There
sobbed
myself to sleep,when, wearied
omission, some
punished for some
trifling
mistake.

with.

those
used

and

down,

sat

which

him

with

often

the

from
I have

out, I

worn

was

tal
acciden-

slightand

face with my
my
in the world
came

covered

of my utter loneliness
suddenly over me ; I felt as if this poor hovel
in life was
real home, and that all my success
a
for

hands,

There

night, copying

where
and

were

sense

only
passing

was

my

mere

dream.
the old woman,

Meanwhile

explaininghow

the

let his riv'rence

parish,though

the

whole
"

Con's

Acre, and
And

"

who

villain

thief ye

ever

it

Had

"

He

tell

me

; but

I need

all

was

ruin when

this cabin

would

"

and

n't

lived in

they call
heard

Con

paid

was

the Government
!

son

I 'd
was

; and

and

was

milk

far

for

had

believe
die !

scarcelyremark

already familiar,and

asked

I.
the

"

inf ormin'

done

wid

biggest
agin the
him, they

"

never

to

"

Cregan, your honor,

of ; he

too

got it."

we

before?

it

that I

all the
more

the old

Con?

"

drowned
was

that

'

at

say,' they

way

that

inducement

for

Con

"

saw

this conversation, wherein

eggs

scran

he any children, this same


had a brat of a boy that was

Cregan's

the

was
volubility,

to him

tillhe kem
ease
pace and
there was
n't a spot fit for a

owned

people, and whin


transported him
"

bad

gentleman in
length and breadth of it ! and signs on it,"added
had to put up with this little place here, they call

we

"

Bishop

"
"

native

true

have

the

she,

with

no

all the facts

quoted

longing
prowere

of flattery
speculationsthe reverse
agreeably occupied in discussing
lady had placed before me, when

276

CONFESSIONS

OF

CON

CREGAN.

opened, and the curate entered.


cough and a stooped figure announcing
the door

serious
with

politenessof

the

first sound

The

me.
"

out,

all I had

disease, were

chest

! my

Lyndsay

his voice

of

oldest and

the

time

gentleman,

he

cavernous

signs of

some

to observe

advanced

towards

and

enough,

was

best

deep

don't

friend,
"

when,
I cried

you know

me?"
I

"

ashamed

am

while

to

yet?

Not

11

not," said he, faltering,

hand, and

he still held
"

that I do

say

my
asked

gazed into my face.


again,smilingat the embarrassment

of his countenance.

Not

"

did

he.

Tell me,

"

I beseech

you, where

meet?"

we

here," said I, leading him

Come

"

yet," said

even

to the

there,

where

yonder

stealingalong,

"

that

see

you

lay

that

wide-stretchingmoor

yonder,

"

to the

before

Do

ing
point-

; "it

us

was

cloud -shadow

heavy

first met.

we

door, and

know

you

me

"

now?

started ; his

He

in

neck

my
less

of

the

sorrow,

cheek

grew
Who
tears.

of

meaning?
they

"

Old

emotions.
back

burst

what

or

source,

pale

memories

of

boyish triumphs,

outbreak

of

joy, still
hundred

to

never

failures ;

come

of

moments

bleak, joylessexistence,

own
:

fell upon
know
the

of

not

were

successes,

of bitter

"

ever

happy days,

anguish ; his
perhaps, contrastingwith mine
of the malady in
consciousness
ecstasy

shall

They
the

were

he

paler,and

and

then

which

he

at

last the
but

was

fell

lingering

life.

out

"And

here

which

his

should

say
had

are

you,

made

falteringaccents
that

we

to

were

I!"

here

and

cried

he, in

voice

"
who
intelligible;

scarce

thus?"

meet

Then,

as

if his

conveyed a meaning of which he was ashamed, he


blushed
oh, my friend! how
truly
deeply, and said, "And
but knew
that life had its path for each, if we
you told me

words

how

it."

to choose

I must

not

nightfallere

say how
either of

hearing every
me

had
my

eagerly as
"

worked

heart,

and

the hours
us

adventure
I

went,

with

were

guessed it.
that had
how

each

befallen
new

me," and whether

taught

me

passed, nor how it was


Lyndsay insisted upon

indifference

questioning

me,

prosperity
gold had yet hardened
feature

of

to the poor.

278

CONFESSIONS

hands

shook
with

be

only

drawback

to

that

but

appointment

"

in

which
less

not

at

up
ever

add

however,

may,

should

received

done,

have

Here

draw

saluting

begged

embrace,

my

CREGAN.

Prince,

the

welcomely

very

CON

to

Donna
M

that

say

in

Paris,

as

an

Maria
the

since

it

lady
the

was

ambassador

that
"

unmarried."

was

was

and

ine,

hearty

most

would

with

OF

fear

that
had

I
eventful

this

care

that

not

stage,

not

was

share,

than

that

my

leaving

hereafter

to

THE

the

it

for

journey

END.

only

in

"

Spanish
in

obscurity,

the

traveller

further

riage
mar-

greatness

and
to

with

hausted,
ex-

be

may

career

my

"

life

are

patience

reader's

my
this

Confessions

my

"

that

say
me.

if

he

You might also like