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Battered Women, Abused Children, and Child Custody:

An International Crisis

BMCC XI:

Hands Across the Water

MAY 15th-17th, 2015


Clarion Empire Hotel Secaucus, New Jersey

The 11th Battered Mothers Custody Conference


Co-Sponsored by:
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
NOMAS - National Organization for Men Against Sexism
The Nurtured Parent
Childrens Justice Campaign
Mothers for Judicial Accountability
Mothers Against Court Custody Abuse / MACCA
Voices of Women Organizing Project
Stop Abuse Campaign
California Protective Parents Association
National Family Court Watch Project

BMCC XI Faculty
Renee Beeker
Melanie Blow
Robert Brannon
Dara Carlin
Rhonda Lee Case
Joseph Coe
Holly Collins
Jennifer Collins
Clara Colon
Jane Doe
Riane Eisler
Nancy S. Erickson
Phyllis B. Frank
Rose Garrity
Ruth Glenn

Barry Goldstein
Maude Gorman
David Greene
Paul Stanley Holdorf
Dr. Karin Huffer
Donna Ivery
Sabra Jackson
Jacob Jacquez
Nelly Jouan
Toby Kleinman
Kathy Lee
Patrica Lenowitz
Michael Lesher
Doreen Ludwig
Lenelah Maddox

Leah Marie
Maralee Mclean
Liliane Miller
Wayne Morris
Wendy Murphy
Dr. Amy Neustein
Virginia Nye
Rich Pompelio
Sandra Ramos
Tammy Risaliti
Alan Rosenfeld
Moshe Rozdial
Kelly Rutherford
Wafaa Saad
Karli Singer

Siena College Student Team


Brenda Costabile
Moriah McClosky
Kaitlyn Ryan
Brittany DAmbrosio
Raquel Gutierrez
Edgar Rosa
Haley Milos

Raquel Singh
Evan Stark
Anne Stevenson
Dr. Anita Tarnai
Mo Therese Hannah
Rosaura Torres
Dr. Jen Trachtenberg
Rebecca Tripp
Sam Vaknin
Connie Valentine, M.S.
Garland Waller
Gloria Woods
Gregory R. White
Quenby Wilcox
Andrew Willis

Conference Staff

Lauren Collins
Sami Martinez
Kerrin Mulhall
Cynthia Austin
Lauren Collins
Taylor Williams
Katie Kresser

Ashley Sarvis
Chrysanne Spanuolo
Moriah McCloskey
Carly Murth
Kerrin Mulhall

Wayne Van Nostrand


Will Hannah
Laura Wojdyla
Joe Lombardo
Betty Ann Grimes

The BMCC XI gratefully acknowledges the assistance of Quenby Wilcox and the generous financial support
of the National Organization for Men Against Sexism.
Cover art by Lexi Hannah

Program design & layout by Victoria Kobilca


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Battered Mothers Custody Conference XI SCHEDULE OF EVENTS


FRIDAY MORNING, MAY 15TH
Starting 8:00 a.m.... REGISTRATION AND CHECK IN, LOBBY

Book Table and Silent Auction available now and all weekend
10:00 10:45.......... OPEN: Welcome and Greetings: Mo Hannah, Chair; Liliane Miller, Vice-Chair; Rose
Garrity, President of the Board, NCADV

10:45 11:15.......... KEYNOTE #1: Toby Kleinman: Dual Relationships, the Interplay between Mental Health
Professionals and the Law, and how Litigants Can Avoid Pitfalls in Custody Cases
Toby Kleinman is a NJ attorney and a partner in the law firm of Adler & Kleinman. She has litigated domestic
violence, child custody and abuse cases and has been a consultant in legal cases dealing with domestic violence and
child abuse in over 45 states.
11:15 Noon.......... KEYNOTE #2: Sam Vaknin (by Skype): The Narcissist and His Children
The narcissist regards his children as extensions of himself, mere avatars of his inner constructs, pawns in the grand
chess game that is his Life, props in the theatre of his False Self (sources of narcissistic supply), potential competitors,
and bargaining chips in the inevitable showdown with a hostile world as reified by his reneging, traitorous spouse. In a
custody battle, all these figments of his psychodynamics need to be adtroitly addressed to achieve a favorable outcome
as far as the children involved are concerned.
12:15 - 1:30............ LUNCH ON OWN

FRIDAY AFTERNOON, MAY 16TH


1:30 2:00.............. Patricia Lenowitz and Rich Pompelio: WE THE CHILDREN: A New Jersey Grassroots
Social Justice Revolution
WE THE CHILDREN, a revolutionary movement in the area of child victims rights, is made up of members
from every county in the state of New Jersey. Represented by Patrice Lenowitz and Rich Pompelio, this discussion will
address a statewide grassroots project that calls for family court and child protective services reform.
2:00 3:00.............. Barry Goldstein and Andrew Willis: The Quincy Solution: How we can save $500 Billion by
Preventing DV and Reforming Custody Courts
As we struggle to better protect battered and sexually abused women and children, communities in the US have
successfully reduced domestic violencedramatically. And saved millions and millions of dollars. If the Quincy
Solution was adopted in the rest of the country, we could save $500 billion! And millions of women and children
would sleep at night, knowing they no longer had anything, or anyone, to fear. Learn about a group of best practices
that dramatically reduced domestic violence crime in communities like Quincy, Nashville and San Diego. Discover
how the Safe Child Act can protect children and their mothers in the custody courts. You will leave this interactive
plenary session equipped to work as part of a team to start implementing The Quincy Solution and the Safe Child Act
in your community and throughout the country. Together we can reframe the conversation we have been losing and
stop the horrific stories that always end with childrens lives being ruined.
3:00 3:15.............. BREAK

Battered Mothers Custody Conference XI SCHEDULE OF EVENTS


3:15 4:15.............. Nancy S. Erickson, J.D., Karin Huffer, Ph.D., and Jane Doe, DV Survivor: Invisible Injuries
of Battered Women: How the Americans with Disabilities Act Can Help in Court
Domestic violence survivors often suffer from invisible injuries, especially PTSD and depression. The Americans
with Disabilities Act (ADA) can be used to help a person with a disability (PWD) in many areas, but for a battered
woman with a disability who is involved in a court battle, it is especially important to know that all courts are
mandated to comply with the ADA. The ADA sets out steps that court administrations must follow when a PWD
seeks accommodations or when the court becomes aware that the person needs accommodations. Accommodations
could include, for example, protection in the courtroom from her abuser who is litigating against her, the presence
of a disability advocate, or a service animal. Attendees -- whether attorneys, DV survivors, advocates or others -- will
learn how to deal with the court system for themselves and others.
Nancy S. Erickson, J.D., L.L. M, M.A. (Forensic Psychology) practices in New York. Karin Huffer, Ph.D., M.S.,
M.F.T. is a Marriage and Family Therapist. Jane Doe is a disabled D.V. survivor and advocate.

4:15 - 5:15............. CONCURRENT WORKSHOPS SESSION 1
1. Massachusetts Protective Mothers: Advocating for Protective Mothers: Whose Business Is It, Anyway? Roots,
Wings andLets Get With A New Program!
This presentation is a more advanced, specialized advocacy training for those who actively support protective
mothers--social service/dv program victim advocates, attorneys, etc.
We will briefly look at victim advocacys feminist roots - how original perspective translates to the sophisticated tactics
of torture- tolerated by and employed through government sponsored systems today, how we bring advocacy into
the present and prepare for the future. This presentation will examine and define Researchers, Advocates and
Stakeholders from our working standpoint with a critical look at how offenders/systems may replicate each others
models and actually contribute to procedures that abuse and revictimize. We will give specific examples of effective
new strategies and point out those standards needing immediate overhaul. We will end with a New Plan Proposal for
Advocacy that can be adopted globally: we will share what we know is the power of victim advocacy and what you can
do from your position to drive the needed change!
Massachusetts Protective Mothers are seasoned, certified, senior victim advocates from the legal, educational and
social work fields demonstrating our nonprofit organizations unique experience, best advocacy practices and new
approaches aimed at preventing the re-victimization of protective mothers and their children in family court and its
related processes.
2. Quenby Wilcox: Domestic Violence as a Human Rights Violation
Gonzalez vs. USA, 2011 (Inter- American Commission on Human Rights) and Gonzalez Carreno vs. Spain, 2014
(Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women, CEDAW) are two major landmark decisions
recognizing domestic violence as human rights violations under a States obligation to protect and the principle of
due diligence. This presentation will include an explanation of the significance of these two cases in combating the
problems within family courts, and in lobbying government for action and solutions.
3. Raquel Singh and Sabra Jack: Voices of Women Organizing Project Organizing for Social Change Healing
as Individuals
The workshop examines how community-organizing benefits the healing process of survivors of domestic violence
both individually and collectively. When a person is victimized they experience the individual trauma of the violence.
They are also traumatized by the society that has moved their partner to violence, the systems in place to assist them
that have failed and a culture that marginalizes their experience.
The only way to address the violation/mistreatment is to organize together for social change, while healing as
individuals. This is complicated by a tension that occurs when we choose to organize around a victim identity.
We will explore the following questions during the workshop:
How does that identity impact a womans ability to successfully navigate systems?
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How does internalized oppression impact how a survivor interprets her abuse and others who have similar
experiences?
Does this create a false separation between women who have been abused and those who experience sexism in other
ways?
Does simply replacing the term victim with survivor really empower women to reclaim their lives? How can we
skillfully craft and integrate our personal stories into a wider social-political context as part of our organizing?
5:15 6:15.............. CONCURRENT WORKSHOPS SESSION 2
1. Holly & Jennifer Collins: Asylum Across the Water
In the 1990s we started to notice a silent revolution where more and more protective mothers fled the United
States to protect their children from abuse when the American justice system failed to protect the most vulnerable
American citizens. Now that these children are turning 18 years old, have aged out of the system and are legally
protected from the grips of the family court and their abusive parent, we are starting to see them come out of hiding
and return home to the United States. We will discuss what happens to these children from the moment they go
on the run, living as a fugitive, obtaining safety (sanctuary, asylum, etc) returning home and starting over. We will
highlight the different countries which have protected battered women and their children and discuss the ways in
which they have done so.
We will openly discuss failed attempts, being arrested, incarcerated and will not encourage any mother to break
the law.
If other mothers or children want to share their story (good or bad) of life on the run overseas please contact
Jennifer Collins.
2. Melanie Blow, Barry Goldstein, Greg White, Andrew Willis: Using the Quincy Model in Erie County, N.Y.:
How One Community is Organizing to Stop DV and Child Abuse
Discover how community leaders in Erie County, New York are working together to implement evidence based
programs that will stop child abuse, neglect and domestic violence. Learn how the Stop Abuse Campaign lobbied
public officials and organized DV and child advocacy groups to develop a plan, centered on the Quincy Solution, and
adjusted to community circumstances to prevent Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE).
This interactive workshop will give you the tools you need to drive change in your community. Learn how to
organize natural allies in support of a program to prevent DV and child abuse. Find out how to engage community
leaders and legislators to support practices that protect children. The huge potential financial savings provide an
incentive for public officials to stop tolerating DV giving you the first realistic opportunity to reform the custody
courts and prevent domestic violence and child abuse in your community.

FRIDAY EVENING, MAY 15TH


7:30 End.............. Special evening session with Marilee McLean: Media coverage from CNN PRESENTS:
INTERNATIONAL Parental Alienation

Battered Mothers Custody Conference XI SCHEDULE OF EVENTS


SATURDAY MORNING, MAY 16TH
9:00 9:30.............. Greetings from Ruth Glenn, Executive Director, National Coalition

Against Domestic Violence
9:30 10:00............ KEYNOTE #4: Marilee McLean: Prosecuted But Not Silenced
Marilee will discuss her tragic legal journey and how it led to her grass roots efforts on behalf of Protective
Mothers. She will describe her work with Joan Pennington, the guru of the Protective Parent Movement in the 1980s.
Maralee Mclean is a child advocate, speaker, expert witness, protective mother and author of PROSECUTED
BUT NOT SILENCED (Courtroom Reform for Sexually Abused Children)
10:00 10:30.......... Rhonda Lee Case & Nelly Jouan: THE FRENCH CONNECTION: Two Mothers Stories
Reflect American Family Court Failures and French Family Law Successes in Protecting Children
Rhonda Case, Co-Coordinator, We Will Speak Out: Oregon and Portland; Liaison for the Spiritual Alliance to
Stop Intimate Violence
Nelly Jouan, Author of Jai Aim un Manipulateur (about psychological abuse) translated into 10 languages under
pen name Caroline Brhat, and Administrator of To The Moon And Back - art work by protective mothers.
Rhonda Case and Nelly Jouan are protective mothers who fought lengthy battles in the family courts of Oregon
and _________. They were able to retain custody of their children but not to prevent their abuse. Their cases both
involved Hague convention issues and the family law court systems of both America and France.
Nelly appears by Skype to read a letter she wrote to the Appeals Court Judge in France who saved her daughters
life. She offers a proposal: a European-American association that would create a Manifesto for the Rights of Children
of Divorce, to be signed by American and European psychiatrists, academics,and attorneys so as to protect children in
cases of contested child custody.
Rhonda reads her essay, The Sounds of the Silenced (from her upcoming book, Best Case Scenario) and will
share some of her sons poetry and songs in which he gives voice to his experience of abuse. She will recount briefly
how her sons life and death inspired her to work with Dr. Riane Eislers Spiritual Alliance to Stop Intimate Violence
and with the We Will Speak Out Campaign to end sexual and gender-based violence.
10:30 10:45.......... BREAK
10:45 11:45.......... NOMAS Council: Phyllis B. Frank, Moshe Rozdial, Jacob Jacquez, Rose Garrity, David
Greene, Robert Brannon, Gloria Woods, Wayne Morris, Joseph Coe and Barry Goldstein: Introducing NOMAS
and Our Support for Protective Mothers
This is the fourth year the National Organization for Men Against Sexism (NOMAS) has co-sponsored the
BMCC. We know the abuser rights groups who call themselves advocates of fathers rights misframe the custody
dispute as one between mothers and fathers. We believe it is a dispute between the vast majority of men and women
who believe children should be protected from abusers against a small group of extreme abusers. Accordingly it
is important for mens organizations to learn from protective mothers and speak publicly to support them.. Barry
Goldstein is co-chair of the NOMAS Child Custody Task Force and is proud to introduce his colleagues on the
Council to his friends at the BMCC. In this plenary session, NOMAS will introduce the men and women on our
Council and some of the issues we work on to stop oppression. We want to use this conference to listen to protective
mothers and find out how we can help you. We are excited to participate in a conference we have long admired.
11:45 1:00............ LUNCH ON OWN

Battered Mothers Custody Conference XI SCHEDULE OF EVENTS


SATURDAY AFTERNOON, MAY 16TH
1:00 2:00.............. Alan Rosenfeld: What Ive Learned In 30 years Representing Battered Mothers
Alan Rosenfeld began representing mothers of sexually abused children in custody cases in 1984. His solo
practice has included representing adult survivors of child sexual abuse in some of the first civil lawsuits against
abusers, battered moms fighting to protect their children in high conflict custody cases, and criminal defense of
mothers who have taken their children into hiding to protect them from abuse and were subsequently charged with
parental kidnapping. Alan will be talking about what he has learned in 30 years representing battered women in the
hope of inspiring and challenging us as a society to care about the best interests of our children.
2:00 - 3:00............. Garland Waller: The Silent Scandal Media Failure and the Family Courts
People often ask, Why havent there been more stories in the mainstream media on the failure of the family
courts? Theres a reason. For starters, there is cultural gender bias and there is failure to tie together the hundreds,
really thousands, of stories related to batterers and abusers getting custody. But that really is just for starters. Find out
whats the problem with getting media coverage and what to do about it.
Garland Waller is Producer/Founder of Garland Waller Productions and Director of the TV Graduate Program at
Boston Universitys College of Communication.
3:00 3:15.............. BREAK
3:15 3:45.............. KEYNOTE #5: Riane Eisler (Skype)
Riane Eisler is a social scientist, evolutionary theorist, and cultural historian best known for her bestseller The
Chalice and The Blade: Our History, Our Future, now in 25 foreign editions, including most European languages
and Chinese, Russian, Korean, Hebrew, Japanese, Urdu, and Arabic. Her newest book, The Real Wealth of Nations:
Creating a Caring Economics hailed by Archbishop Desmond Tutu as a template for the better world we have been
so urgently seeking, by former President of Iceland Vigdis Finnbogadttir as an essential tool for government
leaders, politicians, and economists, and by Jane Goodall as a call for action proposes a new approach to
economics that gives visibility and value to the most essential human work: the work of caring for people and for our
natural environment.
Riane will discuss the experiences that led her to dedicate herself to the work she has done and continues to do
to bring about a critical transformation of our culture. She will connect her concept of the dominator model to the
unjust and gender-biased legal landscape facing fit, loving mothers who are seeking protection from abuse. As time
allows, she will answer questions from the audience.
3:45 4:45.............. CONCURRENT WORKSHOPS SESSION 3
1. Tammy Risaliti & Doreen Ludwig: Fathers Rights, Fatherhood Funding, and Litigation: Call to Action
This workshop will inform attendees how each source of fatherhood funding impacts litigation. We will discuss
the role fathers rights played in program implementation including some of their current tactics. In conclusion, we
will issue a Call to Action to brainstorm a campaign to attack this funding. This workshop is not intended to be a
solution for individual cases; it is a next step for mothers and advocates who are ready to confront the root cause into
the future.
2. Dara Carlin, Connie Valentine, & Kathy Lee: The Power of Prayer
1. In an informal survey of the women who contact CPPA (well over 3000 in the past decade) nearly all have said
they were prayerful people, with the vast majority saying they were Christian. We surmise that sociopaths deliberately
prey on Christian women who do not want to go to hell by giving into their earthly emotions and breaking the sixth
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Battered Mothers Custody Conference XI SCHEDULE OF EVENTS


2. Bible scripture, passages, references and resources to support and inspire survivor moms under persecution
from the family court system to help them endure and/or consider their ordeals from a spiritual perspective
3. Stories and accounts from the nightly prayer line
4. Perspectives and coping skills from different faiths
3. Leah Marie and Rebecca Tripp: Transcend into a Better Life
Do you feel that you are not living to your fullest potential? Are you often feeling drained by certain
environments, people or situations? Do you find yourself living the same patterns over and over? Are you looking for
more joy and fulfillment with purpose in your daily life?
Your life is your choice and your responsibility, but you dont have to walk this path alone. With this workshop,
we provide attendees with a personal toolbox full of powerful, time-honored self-help tools that are effective in
removing limited belief systems stored in the subconscious. Leah and Rebecca will help attendees uncover and remove
those blocks to feeling balanced, present, and less stress even when facing difficult challenges.
Actual holistic and natural approaches to self-care, stress management and mental housecleaning will be
demonstrated such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique-proven to be effective for managing PTSD), meditation,
positive visualization, setting clear intentions, along with self-worth, forgiveness and gratitude exercises. Participants
will also learn what the different levels of brain consciousness are and how to use them to ones advantage.
4:45 5:45.............. CONCURRENT WORKSHOPS SESSION 4
1. Jennifer Collins and Karli Singer: Kids Reaching Out From Sea to Shining Sea
Child abuse can have devastating and debilitating effects on ones life. Jennifer and Karli have spoken out against
the injustices done to them during childhood and shared the pain of their pasts. Now as we continue to heal, we
redirect our focus on improving ourselves so we can better help the children of today. Karli is in medical school and
Jennifer is preparing to attend law school. We are continuing on our paths as child advocates and would like to share
where we are now, what we are doing to help children and how we intend to do even more in the future. We would
like to offer an uplifting message of hope for the future for those who are in the middle of fighting the hardest battle of
their lives.
2. Strengthen our Sisters: Sandra Ramos, Donna Ivery, Wafaa Saad, Virginia Nye, & Lenelah Maddox: Mothers
and Children: Worth More Than Gold
In this session, we will discuss the illusions of deception that grasp women, children and even men into a web of
destruction. We will discuss what happens when you speak out against the abuse, blow the whistle and become further
alienated by the very systems that have been put in place for protection. Then we will discuss how to get out of the
system, save time, money and redirect your potential energy to rebuild. Regardless of who we are, we were not created
to be doormats for people to walk over and abuse. There is a difference between confidence and arrogance. We have a
right to be strong, stand up and speak up for our children and ourselves.
We can trick ourselves into believing that a persons abusive behavior is a sign of their love for us, especially if this
is how we allow them to treat us. A person who hurts another is not a healthy friend, lover or confidant. Remember,
feelings of love can be anything, depending on what you want them to be. But if you think about love as a behavior,
then you cannot stay in an abusive relationship.
Panelists are Sandra Ramos, from Strengthen Our Sisters, Donna Ivery, Ed.M., from Quest For Excellence, Wafaa
Saad, Ed.M., from Wafaa House, Lenelah Maddox, M. Psy., author and public speaker, Clara Colon, public speaker
and survivor, and Rosaura Torres, award winning bilingual author of Behind the Blue Wall.
3. Renee Beeker and Paul Holdorf: Improving Justice in Family Courts: Building a Foundation of Safety for
Families and Communities.
The National Family Court Watch Project is a collaborative action research project, teaching the importance of
community involvement to bring about change. We have a uniform observational instrument for recording family
court proceedings. We have already used this to collect data on family court proceedings in six different states.
BMCC attendees will be familiarized with the project. We will also share some interesting data points discovered
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in the Family Court Watch Project. We are building relationships at several universities and expanding our effort to
increase the involvement of members of educational and local communities.
Renee Beeker is a mother, activist, speaker, author, wife, Founder & President of National Family Court Watch
Project. Paul Holdorf, J.D. is an author, teacher, and retired attorney and is an Officer on the Board of Directors of
the National Family Court Watch Project.
DINNER ON OWN

5:45 7:00

7:00 9:00 p.m....... Special Evening Extended Workshop: Evan Stark: The Battered Mothers Dilemma:
Building a Case for Coercive Control.

SUNDAY MORNING, MAY 17TH


8:30 9:00............. KEYNOTE #6: Amy Neustein: Never Give Up: How I Built the Protective Mothers
Movement from Scratch and Why I Believe It Will Succeed
Faced with extreme adversity I sprang into action, fortified by my loving parents, sustained by my faith, and
emboldened by my own self confidence. Now, three decades later, I look back at the family court tsunami and share
some of the unspoken details of how I found the fortitude to fight the gladiators who ripped my child from me, and
how that strength served to galvanize many other protective mothers throughout the country. One hears of those
extraordinary stories of how a car accident victim is able to suddenly lift a ton of rubble from their chest. This was how
I felt when I lost my daughter: suddenly I was empowered with this super human, almost inexplicable strength to
fight a deadly system. I banged on doors loud enough to be heard. I stirred the New York State Legislature to hold over
a half dozen hearings and got the ear of a Congressional Committee, which took my complaint seriously enough to
hold hearings in the early 90s where I brought some of todays BMCC protective mothers, such as Maralee McLean, to
testify. This talk is a retrospective of the past 30 years and a prospective on hope, love, and persistence and why those
forces never die.
9:00 9:30............. KEYNOTE #7: Michael Lesher: Sex Abuse and Institutional Inattention
If everybody deplores child sexual abuse and loathes abusers, why is it so hard for victims to find justice? If
statistics show that children are more likely to be sexually abused by close family members or by trusted clergymen,
teachers or professionals than by strangers, why do we hear so much more about children snatched by passing strangers
than about systematic abuse cover-ups in nearby religious communities, or about the judicial kidnaping of children in
the family court system from parents who try in good faith to protect their children from suspected abuse? The answer,
I think, has a lot to do with patterns of institutional attention to such matters -- and by institutions, I mean the court
system, law enforcement agencies, child protective services, religious leadership, and the popular media as well. As
an author, a lawyer and an advocate, I have spent years documenting the way institutions that should be protecting
children have either tolerated or contributed to cover-ups of child sexual abuse, and trying to explain this appalling
paradox. I believe everyone who has a child, or who may have a child, or who cares about someone who has a child,
might want to know how sex abuse is being ignored or concealed in cases occurring much closer to them than most
people would suspect.
9:30 9:45.............. BREAK
9:45 11:00............ Wendy Murphy, Patrice Lenowitz, Kelly Rutherford, Dr. Jen Trachtenberg: The Childrens
Justice Campaign
The Childrens Justice Campaign seeks to protect childrens constitutional rights and promote their health and
wellbeing in law and society. We believe the public cannot protest what it doesnt know, so join us in spreading the
word! Panel discussion led by co-founder, actress Kelly Rutherford, co-founder Patrice Lenowitz, and CJC board
members Wendy Murphy and Dr. Jen Trachtenberg.
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11:00 Noon.......... CONCURRENT WORKSHOPS SESSION 5
1. Phyllis Frank, Greg White, Rose Garrity, Wayne Morris and Barry Goldstein: The New York Model Batterers
Program: Its Not What You Think
The only responses to domestic violence shown to be effective are accountability and monitoring. Therapy, anger
management, and substance abuse treatment can benefit people with these problems, but they are not effective in
preventing domestic violence. The NY Model is an accountability program. It provides courts with an additional
sanction when laws and practices make a more serious consequences unrealistic. NY Model programs hold men
accountable for following the rules such as being on time, paying the weekly fees, acting respectfully during the classes
and coming alcohol and drug free. In order to maintain our ethics, we must be accountable to the local DV program
and avoid promises that the program will change mens behavior. Our best advice for partners is to be prepared for
the man you know. Custody courts could use the program as a condition that must be completed before unsupervised
visits are considered. The court would need to make that decision based on a range of issues in that even compliance
does not guarantee his being safe to be with his children,
2. Anita Tarnai: An overview of key arguments and strategies employed to take custody away from a protective
mother; a Brooklyn Family Court case study
This workshop will draw upon lessons learned from a Brooklyn Family court case in which a mother loses custody
to the abuser despite mounting evidence against the father and his demonstrated lack of prior involvement in the
childs life. In this case, both the fathers attorney and the forensic psychologist are advocates commonly hired by
abusive and affluent men who seek to take the children away from their mothers, a mission these two, prominent legal
professionals accomplish at an alarming rate. Because of the recognized status and success rate of these professionals,
their legal strategy deserves special attention. Attendees will learn about some of the most persuasive arguments and
strategies used against protective mothers, and the roles gender bias and unfavorable views of victims of domestic
violence play in legal proceedings.
The workshop will conclude with a handout of a questionnaire aimed to gather data on the frequency of
the particular practices outlined during the workshop. Participants will have the option to indicate which of
these strategies have been used in their case and to what extent, how successful these strategies were in their legal
proceedings, what other strategies they have noted, etc. The goal of the workshop is to collect data on the key
arguments commonly used in court against protective mothers and generate awareness thereof.
3. Rhonda Case, Co-Coordinator We Will Speak Out: Oregon and Portland Liaison for the Spiritual Alliance
to Stop Intimate Violence
Nelly Jouan, Author of Jai aim un manipulateur (about psychological abuse) translated into 10 languages under
pen name Caroline Brhat, and Administrator of To The Moon And Back - art work by protective mothers.
Rhonda Case and Nelly Jouan are protective mothers who fought lengthy battles in the family courts of Oregon and
New York. They were able to retain custody of their children but not to prevent their abuse. Their cases both involved
Hague convention issues and the family law court systems of both America and France.
Nelly appears by Skype to read a letter she wrote to the Appeals Court Judges in France who saved her daughters
life. Rhonda reads her essay, The Sounds of the Silenced (from her upcoming book, Best Case Scenario. She
will recount briefly how her sons life and death inspired her to work with Dr. Riane Eislers Spiritual Alliance to Stop
Intimate Violence and with the We Will Speak Out Campaign to end sexual and gender-based violence, a project of
IMA World Health.

NOON 2 p.m....... LUNCH SERVED IN MAIN BALLROOM: Speakers: Anne Stevenson, Journalist &
Maude Gorman, Miss Massachusetts World
2:00 p.m. ............... FAREWELL

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BMCC XI Co-Sponsors

NOMAS

NATIONAL ORGANIZATION
FOR MEN AGAINST SEXISM

The National Organization for Men Against Sexism is an activist organization of men and women supporting
positive changes for men. NOMAS advocates a perspective that is pro-feminist, gay affirmative, antiracist, dedicated to enhancing mens lives, and committed to justice on a broad range of social issues
including class, age, religion, and physical abilities. NOMAS has long admired and supported the work
of the Battered Mothers Custody Conference. This is our fourth year co-sponsoring the event and we
are excited that this year our council will be participating in the conference.

Jack Straton and Barry Goldstein are co-chairs of our Child Custody Task Force and have a long history
in support of protective mothers. Among the many lies promoted by the abuser rights groups is the
claim that contested custody is a dispute between mothers and fathers. In reality contested custody
are overwhelmingly domestic violence cases in which the vast majority of good men and women must
work to protect children against an extreme group of abusers who are all too willing to hurt children
in order to regain control over their victims. This is why it is so important for mens organization to
provide strong support for protective mothers. We hope protective moms will speak with council
members during the conference and learn more about the work NOMAS does. While we dont have
the resources to help on individual cases, we can sign letters of support or join in amicus briefs. We
want to continue learning from protective moms and find out what we can do to help. NOMAS supports
the Quincy Solution and the Safe Child Act and hope mothers who can will join the campaign to
dramatically reduce domestic violence and reform the custody courts by requiring that the health and
safety of children become the first priority in all custody and visitation decisions.

NCADV is a proud supporter of the 11th Annual and First International


Battered Mothers Custody Conference!
Thank you, BMCC, for all you do to support and assist battered women seeking protection for
themselves and their children from an abusive spouse or partner.
11

BMCC XI FACULTY
RENEE BEEKER is the founder and President of the National
Family Court Watch Project. A speaker and advocate for reform of
the judicial system since 1996, Renee is a respected contributing
member to many professional and grassroots organizations. Renee
has been an invited speaker at numerous conferences around the
United States. Renee has designed a comprehensive Court Watch
observational instrument that is being used in the National Family
Court Watch Project. Renee is currently the Administrative
Vice President of Michigan National Organization for Women.
She is also the former President and Legislative Vice President
of Michigan NOW and former National NOW Board member
representing the Great Lakes Region. Renee is chair of Michigan
NOW Family Law Task Force and chairs the National NOW
Family Law Advisory ad hoc committee. Renee is Co-Founder of
Freedom to Travel USA (FTTUSA), a civic group who is working
to regain freedoms taken away by the Transportation Security
Administration (TSA). FTTUSA is fighting against the completely
illegal, warrantless strip searches of our citizens, and fighting
against the coerced, inappropriate physical touching, including
very private parts of citizens bodies. Freedom to Travel USA was
successful in having their amicus brief accepted by the First Circuit
United States Appeals Court, as well as given time in addition to
the principles for oral argument in Redfern v Napolitano. Renee
serves on various committees both in her state and nationally, and
is extremely concerned for the loss of liberty and freedom. Renee
holds a Master of Arts degree in Educational Leadership from
University of Mount Union and a Bachelor of Science degree in
Organizational Communications from Eastern Michigan.

JENNIFER AND HOLLY COLLINS Just before Christmas


in 1992, Jennifer Collins was torn from her loving mothers arms
and handed over kicking and screaming to the father who had so
abused her. A family court judge had ordered a change in custody
for both Jennifer and her brother Zachary, based largely on the
junk science of parental alienation syndrome. The court was not
interested in hearing from the children.

The court then further silenced Jennifer and her brother by
telling them they were not allowed to even talk about the abuse
they continued to suffer at the hands of their father. If they did,
they would no longer be allowed to see their mother at all.

So, believing that there was no other choice, in 1994 Jennifers
mother Holly heroically rescued her and her brother and fled
on an incredible journey in search of safety. They made it to the
Netherlands where, after living in refugee camps for 3 years, they
were the first Americans to receive Asylum!

It has been two decades since she was forced to live with her
abuser but unfortunately little has changed. Still too many children
are forced to suffer the same fate as Jennifer and Zachary.
JANE DOE is a domestic violence survivor. Because of the
abuse she suffered, she, like many other battered women, suffers
from posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) -- an invisible
disability. Like a soldier who has PTSD from the horrors of
the war, she has PTSD from the horrors of the abuse. After the
divorce, she was forced to go to court against her abuser and
needed accommodations from the court so that she would not have
severe PTSD symptoms in the courtroom and during the ongoing
litigation that would interfere with her ability to participate fully
and fairly in the litigation on an equal basis. She will discuss going
through the procedure of seeking accommodations and some of the
problems she encountered. She will also discuss how she uses her
service animal to help her cope with the symptoms of PTSD and
the illegal roadblocks that have been set before her with regard to
her service animal in places of public accommodations.

MELANIE BLOW is an incest survivor, a biochemist, and a writer


who is absolutely passionate about ensuring that every child has
a safe home. She leads Stop Abuse Campaigns campaigns NY
projects, is a member of the Board of Directors for Prevent Child
Abuse NY and sits on the Rochester Regional Coalition Against
Human Trafficking. She blogs for the Stop Abuse Campaign,
testifies in front of legislators and talks to anyone who wants to
learn about child abuse or how to prevent it. Melanie lives in
Rochester, NY.
DARA CARLIN, with a masters in Marriage & Family Counseling,
is an independent Domestic Violence Survivor Advocate who has
spent the majority of her career working in CPS-related and nonprofit social service agencies. A survivor of both child abuse and
domestic violence herself, she now spends most of her time fighting
to correct the system she used to work in. Dara is a practicing
Catholic and Confraternity of Christian Doctrine (CCD) teacher
at her parish in Hawaii.
RHONDA CASE is the Portland Liaison for Dr. Riane Eislers
Spiritual Alliance to Stop Intimate Violence and Co-Coordinator
for the We Will Speak Out campaign to end sexual and genderbased violence, a project of IMA World Health. She is a survivor
of institutional betrayal trauma and domestic violence. Her
son, Louis, victim of traumatic abuse, was the subject of a costly
contested custody dispute in Oregon. He took his life in December
2014. May his memory be a blessing.
12

RIANE EISLER consults for business and governments on


practical applications of the partnership model introduced in
her work. She has been a leader in the movements for peace,
environmental sustainability, economic equity, and human rights
pioneering the extension of human rights protection to womens
rights and childrens rights. Her work is widely applied in many
organizations.
She is also author of the award-winning books Tomorrows
Children: A Blueprint for Partnership Education in the 21st Century
and The Power of Partnership as well as Sacred Pleasure, a daring
reexamination of sexuality and spirituality, and Women, Men, and
the Global Quality of Life, documenting the key role of womens
status in a nations general quality of life. She has written over 400
articles in publications ranging from Behavioral Science, Challenge,
Political Psychology, Brain and Mind, the Christian Science Monitor,
and the UNESCO Courier to the Human Rights Quarterly, the
International Journal of Womens Studies, Futures, and the World
Encyclopedia of Peace.
Riane Eisler is the only woman among 20 great thinkers
including Adam Smith, Hegel, Marx, and Toynbee selected for
inclusion in Macrohistory and Macrohistorians in recognition of
the lasting importance of her work as a cultural historian and

BMCC XI FACULTY
evolutionary theorist. She has received many honors, including
honorary Ph.D. degrees and the Nuclear Age Peace Foundations
2009 Distinguished Peace Leadership Award, and is in the awardwinning book Great Peacemakers as one of 20 leaders for world
peace, along with Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, and Martin
Luther King.

In 2002, that program, called the Domestic Violence Program for


Men, became the template for the NY Model for Batterer Programs
which was adopted by the NYS Coalition Against Domestic
Violence, the NYS Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence,
the National Organization for Men Against Sexism (NOMAS) and
the NYS Chapter of the National Organization for Women (NYS
NOW).

Ms. Frank is nationally known on domestic violence, racial
justice and Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender issues. She has
delivered speeches, workshops and trainings for professionals and
lay audiences across the United States.

NANCY S. ERICKSON (J.D. Brooklyn Law School, LL.M.


Yale Law School, M.A. Forensic Psychology John Jay College
of Criminal Justice) is a consultant on issues relating to law and
psychology, particularly child custody evaluations and domestic
violence.

For eight years she was a Senior Attorney at Legal Services for
New York City, Brooklyn Branch, representing low income clients
primarily battered women in divorce and other family cases.
For over ten years, she was a professor of law, teaching at New York
Law School, Cornell, Ohio State, New York University, and Seton
Hall Law School. She has also been an attorney for the City of
New York, a Legal Services attorney with the National Center on
Women and Family Law (no longer in existence due to funding
cuts), and an attorney in private practice.

She has written books and articles on family law, including
domestic violence, child support, custody, marital property,
attorneys for children, custody evaluations, and adoption. She is
currently researching and writing in the area of custody evaluations.

ROSE GARRITY is the former Executive Director (retired) of A


New Hope Center, Tioga County, N. Y. (from founding in early
1986 through 12-31-2014). She developed all aspects of this well
known domestic violence/sexual assault program, opening with a
single staff to become one with 16-20 staff and many programs.
Rose has written and trained extensively on various aspects of
domestic violence and sexual assault as well as economic justice,
anti-racism, classism and other oppressions. She is a co-founder
of the NY Model for Batterer Programs Model and developed one
of the earliest domestic violence coordinated community response
networks in New York while developing the batterer program work.
She also oversaw the development of the first pet rescue related to
domestic violence project in the northeast. Rose is a well known
writer and trainer and has received numerous awards for her work.
She has also served on several boards, including the NYS Coalition
Against Domestic Violence and the NYS Coalition Against Sexual
Assault. In her retirement she remains committed to social justice
activism. She is currently the President of the Board of Directors
of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and remains
on the Leadership Council of the National Organization for Men
Against Sexism.

PHYLLIS B. FRANK is the Associate Executive Director of VCS,


a forty five year old non-profit agency in New City, NY offering
counseling, community education and social justice programs.
Phyllis is a founding board member of Rocklands Center for Safety
and Change and the NYS Coalition Against Domestic Violence where she is a past president of the Board of Directors.

In 1978, Phyllis developed and launched the first batterer
program in New York State and the third oldest in the United States.

13

BMCC XI FACULTY
the TV series Obsessed With The Dress. Throughout her reign
as Miss Massachusetts World America, Gorman plans to promote
her platform statement of sexual assault awareness by working
directly with fellow survivors. To request Miss Massachusetts
World America for an appearance please contact: gormanmaude@
aol.com, info@newenglandpageants.com

BARRY GOLDSTEIN is a nationally recognized domestic


violence author, speaker and advocate. He is responsible for
some of the leading books about domestic violence and custody,
including Domestic Violence, Abuse and Child Custody (the
second volume is now being printed) co-edited with Dr. Mo
Therese Hannah, Representing the Domestic Violence Survivor
co-edited with Elizabeth Liu, Scared to Leave Afraid to Stay and his
newest book, The Quincy Solution: Stop Domestic Violence and
Save $500 Billion. Barry has been an instructor in a NY Model
Batterer Program since 1999. He is co-chair of the NOMAS Child
Custody Task Force and on the board of the Stop Abuse Campaign
which is working to implement the Quincy Solution and the Safe
Child Act. Barry was an attorney for 30 years, but now is a nice
guy.

MO THERESE HANNAH, Ph.D., Conference Chair, is a


Professor of Psychology at Siena College. She is a licensed New
York State psychologist with a specialty in couples therapy and
relationship dynamics. She is an Advanced Clinician in Imago
Relationship Therapy and an Academic Faculty member of Imago
Relationships International. Her clinical and research interests
revolve around couples therapy, intimate partner violence, and
transpersonal psychology. She serves as the Editor of Family
and Interpersonal Violence Quarterly and has published seven
books,including as Co-Editor, with Barry Goldstein, Domestic
Violence, Abuse, and Child Custody: Legal Strategies and Policy
Issues, Volumes 1 (2010) and 2 (in press). In 2004, she co-founded
and continues to serve as Chair of the annual Battered Mothers
Custody Conference (BMCC; batteredmotherscustodyconference.org)

MAUDE GORMAN is a 21 year old communication and


journalism student at Stonehill College in Easton, Massachusetts.
She is the president and founder of her own anti-bullying nonprofit organization and has served as a faithful volunteer to the
American Red Cross, Avon Walk For Breast Cancer, New England
Aquarium, Horizons for Homeless Children, and Autism Speaks.
Gorman also enjoys volunteering as a piano instructor for struggling
teens at a local community center, and organizing beach clean-ups
throughout Massachusetts. Continuing on, Gormans efforts have
helped raise over $4500 for the Epilepsy Foundation, Childrens
Miracle Network, and World Wildlife Fund. In her downtime,
Gorman enjoys snowboarding competitively for the United States
of America Snowboarding Assocation and has earned herself
several national and international rankings over the years. Gorman
has also claimed the privilege of working as a co-host on Henrys
Baseball Show, as well as a media-directed marketing volunteer for

PAUL STANLEY HOLDORF is a retired New York corporate


lawyer who volunteered with Trial Lawyers Care to help 9/11
victims. In 2006, he joined the Family Court Watch Project as an
observer in New Jersey and is now on the Board, and Program
Director, of the NFCWP. He has volunteered for various
missions to help abused women. In his spare time, he compiles
archaeological reports and publications on Bronze Age excavations
in Jordan and Israel, and has read papers at annual meetings of The
American Schools of Oriental Research.

BMCC XI Co-Sponsor

Bridget Grace Marks Protective Mothers Rights activist


and Mothers for Judicial Accountability Foundation
wish all mothers of lost children Godspeed !!
MAY YOU BE REUNITED SOONEST !!!
Mothers for Judicial Accountability
Foundation, Inc.
211 E 70th St., Suite 23B, NY, NY 10021
email: contact@mjafoundation.com
website: mjafoundation.com
14

BMCC XI FACULTY
DR. KARIN HUFFER is a marriage and family therapist, author,
speaker, and ADAAA advocate living in Colorado Springs, CO.
As a therapist, work and research led to the identification of a very
human response to the pressures of prolonged litigation, legal abuse
syndrome. She is director of Equal Access Advocates, an online
site training ADA advocates for mental and non-apparent disability
accommodations. As a keynote/guest speaker, Karin addresses
professionals devoted to improving the judicial experience for the
invisibly disabled. Overcoming the Devastation of Legal Abuse
Syndrome (LAS) and Unlocking Justice, her second book, are
available.

NELLY JOUAN is the Administrator of the FB page To The


Moon And Back, an artistic project throwing light on the suffering
endured by mothers and children who have been separated by court
orders. She is the author of two books on domestic violence and a
survivor of domestic violence. Her contested custody dispute in
New York involved daughters allegations of abuse; it ended in 2014
when French courts granted Nelly full custody of her daughter.
Her case has been covered in the French press.
TOBY KLEINMAN Toby Kleinman is a NJ attorney and a
partner in the law firm of Adler & Kleinman. She has litigated
domestic violence, child custody and abuse cases and has been a
consultant in legal cases dealing with domestic violence and child
abuse in over 45 states. She is an Associate Editor of The Journal
of Child Custody, published articles and editorials in the Journal
of Child Custody, written a Legal Affairs column for the Trauma
Psychology Newsletter of Division 56, the American Psychological
Associations Division on Trauma, has published articles in The
New Jersey Law Journal, has two chapters in the book, The Broken
Family Court and is co-author of Social Work and The Courts: A
Casebook, now in press.
Ms. Kleinman has taught at the Harvard School of Public
Health, is an Adjunct Professor Center for Psychological Studies,
Nova Southeastern University, Ft Lauderdale, Fla., is a Director of
the Advisory Board to the Leadership Council on Child Abuse and
Interpersonal Violence (LC), is a member of the Board of Advisors
of the Domestic Violence and Legal Empowerment Project at
George Washington Law School. Ms. Kleinman was an invited
Participant, to the National Council Of Juvenile and Family Court
Judges (NJIDV) Faculty Development presented by the National
Judicial Institute on Domestic Violence, in partnership of Futures
Without Violence, the National Council of Juvenile and Family
Court Judges, and the U.S. Department of Justice, Office on
Violence Against Women.

Having given Keynote addresses at the Institute on Violence
Abuse and Trauma in San Diego, the Association of family and
Conciliation Courts and The Battered Mothers Custody conference
Ms. Kleinman was also the keynote speaker at the Cummings
Foundation Broken family Courts conference.

Voted a NJ Super Lawyer, Ms Kleinman has trained family
court judges in several states, is an adjunct Professor to the Center
for Psychological Studies at Nova Southeastern University in Ft
Lauderdale Florida, and is called as a guest expert on network
television, including Good Morning America and World News
Tonight.

DONNA IVERY, Ed.M. is a national public speaker and a member


of Screen Actors Guild, Toastmasters International and other
well-known organizations. She participates in closed educational
policy meetings at the Harvard University, Program on Education
Policy and Governance. As an active member of Kappa Delta Pi
The International Honor Society of Educators, she is among
outstanding educational leaders who hold various certifications
through the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
She is a member of the American Sociological Association and
participates in research regarding domestic violence, its effects on
the family, and the acts of domestic terrorism unleashed on the
American family through the American legal system, and Child
Protective Services due to their lack of knowledge and coordination.
Ivery is a former officer of the Superior Court of New Jersey and
is trained in various levels of Operational Risk Management and
Emergency Preparedness through the Civil Air Patrol an Auxiliary
of the United States Air Force. Ivery and her children are survivors
of the acts of domestic violence and domestic terrorism.
SABRA JACKSON is a parent organizer and family advocate at
the Child Welfare Organizing Project (CWOP). A graduate of
CWOPs East Harlem Parent Leadership Curriculum, an intensive
skill and community service building program for parents involved
with the child welfare system, Sabra also serves as Initial Child
Safety Conference Coordinator for the East Harlem Community
Partnership Initiative. Prior to her work at CWOP, Ms. Jackson
had over 10 years experience working in the social service field as
a health educator focused on HIV/AIDS prevention, as well as a
youth outreach and development coordinator and a case manager
working with women and families receiving welfare or involved
in prevention services with ACS. Also, since 2002, she has been
a very active member of the Voices of Women Organizing Project
(VOW), a self-help and advocacy organization for survivors
of domestic violence, which she represents on the ACS Parent
Advisory Work Group. In addition, she is a member of the ACS
City-Wide Headstart Policy Council and 1 of 2 family advocates for
the New York County Law Association subcommittee on Family
Court chaired by the Honorable Howard Miller. Ms. Jackson has
an understanding of child welfare policy and practice as both a
client and a service provider.

15

BMCC XI FACULTY
PATRICE LENOWITZ is a domestic violence survivor, advocate
and activist. She is the founder and co-facilitator of The Nurtured
Parent Support Group, a weekly support group empowering
survivors of domestic abuse. Of paramount importance to her work
is advocating for victims rights and to unravel why family court
often fails to protect the most vulnerable among us, victims and
their children in crisis seeking a life free from abuse. Patrice is also
the co-playwright with author Lundy Bancroft of FORBIDDEN
TO PROTECT, a theatrical production that tells the true stories of
family court victims, and raises questions about the improper court
response to domestic violence and child abuse. FORBIDDEN TO
PROTECT is expected to open to audiences in the fall of 2015.
Last year, Patrice co-founded the Childrens Justice Campaign with
actress Kelly Rutherford. The CJC is a national organization that
seeks to protect childrens constitutional rights and promote their
health and wellbeing in law and society. As a Community Educator
for the Center for Hope and Safety, Patrice speaks publically to a
wide range of audiences on the dynamics of Domestic Violence
and Human Trafficking, and their palpable threat to our nations
women and children. To further address these issues in her home
state, Patrice and crime victims attorney Rich Pompelio have
teamed up to form a statewide grassroots project that calls for family
court and child protective services reform. WE THE CHILDREN
is a revolutionary movement in the area of child victims rights and
made up of members from every county in the state of New Jersey.

medical and health care facilities throughout New England.


She has also facilitated meditation classes at the University of
Massachusetts Second Half Learning Center. She holds individual
sessions, workshops and online webinars.

To learn more visit: www.mindhealthcoach.com
MARALEE MCLEAN is a child advocate, protective parent,
domestic violence expert, professional speaker, and author of
PROSECUTED BUT NOT SILENCED: Courtroom Reform
for Sexually Abused Children. Maralee has several articles
published in the ABA Child Law Journal and in Womens E-News
about the problem of our family courts not protecting abused
children. Maralee is affiliated with the Womens Media Center
(WMC), SheSourceExpert, NPEIV (National Partnership to End
Interpersonal Violence) and is with RAINN speaker bureau. Her
passion for advocacy developed through living a mothers worse
nightmare. Fighting the system both body and soul, she gained
the insight that this was not her nightmare alone. She organized
a National Rally of Mothers at the Capitol and is involved in
legislative work that spans over two decades. She testified before
Congress to promote judicial accountability to better protect
sexually abused childrens rights in our courts. Her story has been
covered by many media outlets and internationally on CNN.
LILIANE HELLER MILLER, Conference Vice-Chair, is a
paralegal, writer, researcher, Internet designer, and non-custodial
mother living in Charlotte, North Carolina. She holds a B.A. from
Furman University in Special Education and completed graduate
work in Fine Arts at Duke University and University of NC at
Greensboro. Together with Mo Hannah, Liliane co-founded and
serves as Vice-Chair for the Battered Mothers Custody Conference.
She created and continues to develop the conference web site and
other national online data gathering and networking projects for
battered mothers and their advocates. She has a special interest
in developing legislation and legal strategies to bar batterers from
initiating custody disputes and to hold attorneys, judges, and court
appointees to elevated ethical and procedural standards in any case
involving the welfare of children. In her 12-year experience with
the family court system, Liliane has represented herself in state and
federal court at both the trial and appellate levels.

MICHAEL LESHER is an attorney and a prolific writer who


co-authored (with Amy Neustein) From Madness to Mutiny:
Why Mothers Are Running from the Family Courts -- and What
Can Be Done about It (Northeastern, 2005). He contributed to
Tempest in the Temple: Jewish Communities & Child Sex Scandals
(Brandeis, 2009). His most recent book is Sexual Abuse, Shonda
and Concealment in Orthodox Jewish Communities (McFarland &
Company, Inc.) -- the first book ever on sex abuse cover-ups among
Orthodox Jews.
LEAH MARIE is a certified holistic life, stress management coach,
Reiki Master and teaches life enriching techniques such as various
meditation styles, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT-tapping)
and other mindfulness approaches to improving your life. She
is also certified in corporate wellness, ThetaHealing and Practical
Yoga.

Leah Marie, a was directed to her spiritual path after having a
near death and out of body experience in 2001 when she was injured
in an equestrian accident where her body went into cardiac arrest
and she was resuscitated by her father. She describes her journey
to the other side as the most loving, peaceful and eye-opening
experience of her life. During her time spent out of her body, she
felt a higher level of consciousness that her soul experienced firsthand. She feels that it is part of her souls purpose to tell the story
of this amazing trip and share the knowledge of another state of
afterlife consciousness with others.
Leah is currently providing stress management and holistic
practices for well-being continuing education programs to various

WAYNE MORRIS returned to New York in 2013 and was elected,


once again, to the National Council of NOMAS, the National
Organization for Men Against Sexism. Wayne was instrumental in
the development of the VCS Domestic Violence Program for Men
and the NY Model for Batterer Programs, where he is currently
an Instructor and Senior Supervisor. Wayne was also faculty for
the first VCS National Training Institute, in 1994, on Batterer
Programs and Domestic Violence Offender Accountability.
Wayne Morris attended the Peoples Institute for Survival and
Beyonds Undoing Racism Workshop and combined with his
understanding of sexism, has been a national leader on work to
ending both of these oppressions.

16

BMCC XI FACULTY
WENDY MURPHY is adjunct professor of sexual violence law at
New England Law|Boston where she also co-directs the Womens
and Childrens Advocacy Project under the Center for Law and
Social Responsibility. A former Visiting Scholar at Harvard Law
School, Wendy prosecuted child abuse and sex crimes cases for
many years. In 1992 she founded the first organization in the
nation to provide pro bono legal services to crime victims. Wendy
is an impact litigator whose work in state and federal courts has
changed the law to better protect the constitutional and civil rights
of victimized women and children. Wendy writes and lectures
widely on the rights of women, children and criminal justice
policy. She is a contributing editor for Womens eNews and writes
a regular column for The Patriot Ledger. Wendy has published
numerous scholarly articles on novel legal issues including the first
law review article to describe the legal relationship between sexual
assault on campus and Title IX. Dubbed the Goddaughter of
Title IX by the Godmother of Title IX, Dr. Bernice Sandler,
Wendys impact litigation in the area of campus sexual assault,
beginning in the 1990s, includes a first of its kind case against
Harvard, which was filed with the Office for Civil Rights at
the Department of Education in 2002 and led to widespread
awareness and reforms in the redress and prevention of campus
sexual assault. Other impact litigation and topics of scholarship
include: ensuring that anti-bullying laws are not used to inhibit
the publics understanding of sexual harassment as s civil rights
injury; using due process and standing doctrine to address gender
bias in criminal rape cases; using constitutional privacy rights
doctrine to protect victims therapeutic counseling files; forcing
state courts to comply with the American with Disabilities Act
and grant testimonial accommodations to disabled crime victims;
protecting the parental rights of women who become pregnant

from rape; protecting child rape victims from court-ordered rape;


protecting the free speech rights of victims so they can use words
such as rape and victim during trial. Wendy is a popular and
bold speaker on the lecture circuit who describes herself as fiercely
non-partisan. Wendy is also a well-known television legal analyst
who Emmy Award-winning journalist Emily Rooney calls the best
talker on television with a finger on the pulse of victims and
womens rights. Wendy has worked for NBC, CBS, CNN and
Fox News. She regularly provides legal analysis for network and
cable news programs. Her first book, And Justice For Some, was
published by Penguin/Sentinel in 2007.
DR. AMY NEUSTEIN is co-author of From Madness to Mutiny;
editor of Tempest in the Temple; and editor of eight academic books.
Dr. Neustein is the recipient of the pro-Humanitate Literary Award
(shared with co-writer Attorney Michael Lesher). From Madness
to Mutiny was profiled in the Chronicles of Higher Education and
reviewed in the NY Law Journal and by nearly a dozen academic
publications. Dr. Neustein received the Mother of Valor: Lifetime
Achievement Award at the BMCC in 2005. Today Dr. Neustein
runs a think tank in northern New Jersey for the design of language
tools to interpret social media posts and tweets. Her work with
protective mothers is a lifelong passion; she frequently meets
with journalists and government agencies to talk about solutions.
And although she is still tragically separated from her daughter,
Sherry Eve, her daughter has devoted herself entirely to the
reform of educational systems for the neglected and disadvantaged
child. Dr. Neustein and her daughter follow a long line of family
members devoted to reform of social institutions starting with Dr.
Neusteins grandfather who endowed the Margaret Sanger Planned
Parenthood Health Center in Brooklyn.

Dara Carlin, M.A.

Independent Contractor

(808) 218-3457
stopDVhawaii@yahoo.com

Domestic Violence & Abuser Examiner


The verses below reportedly were written on the wall of Mother Teresas home
for children in Calcutta, India, and are widely attributed to her.
People are often unreasonable, irrational &self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends & some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest & sincere people may deceive you. Be honest & sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity & happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have & it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis it is between you & God. It was never between you & them anyway.
17

BMCC XI FACULTY
RICH POMPELIO is a practicing lawyer in the State of New Jersey
for over 40 years, serving as counsel to the law firm of DiFrancesco
Batemen in Warren. For over a quarter century, Richs entire law
practice has been devoted to the representation of crime victims in
the criminal and civil justice systems. In 1989, Richs 17-year-old
son, Tony, was murdered. He soon discovered the harsh reality of
the criminal justice system for crime victims. The inappropriate
treatment of his family resulted in his establishing the New Jersey
Crime Victims Law Center; the first pro bono law clinic in the
United States devoted to protecting and advocating the civil rights
of crime victims in the criminal justice system. The Victims Law
Center has served over 10,000 victims of violent crime since it
was founded in 1992. Rich led grassroots crime victims rights
movement in New Jersey, and has dedicated the last two decades
to serving victims and training and educating the legal profession
and the public on the subject of victims rights. In 2003, he was
appointed to serve as the Chairman of the New Jersey Victims of
Crime Compensation Board, and has had the opportunity to be
involved in the writing of much of the victims rights legislation
in New Jersey, including the Victims Rights Constitutional
Amendment in 1991 and the Alex DeCroce Bill of Rights in 2012.
As an attorney, Rich has appeared before the New Jersey Supreme
Court and the Supreme Court of the United States in significant
cases involving the rights of victims. In 2009, he received the
prestigious American Bar Association Criminal Justice Lawyer of

the Year Award for his work in victims rights, and in 2013, he was
awarded the Unsung Hero Award by the Russell Berrie Foundation
at Ramapo College. Rich has teamed up with Patrice Lenowitz
to form a statewide grassroots project that calls for family court
and child protective services reform. WE THE CHILDREN is
a revolutionary movement in the area of child victims rights and
made up of members from every county in the state of New Jersey.
SANDRA RAMOS is presently the directorStrengthen Our
Sisters, a shelter and supportive service program for homeless,
battered women and their dependent children. The program has
been guided by Sandra Ramos since its inception in 1970 when
Sandra founded the first shelter for battered women in North
America.

Sandras work was profiled by NBC in four stories in March
1998, and she received the 2001 Russ Berrie Top Honor Award for
Making a Difference.

She and her three children shared their home with women
and children fleeing domestic violence, and the program grew
to become a full-fledged shelter project. Its mission was to
help victims of domestic dysfunction find peace, safety, and
independence. Over the years, Ramos opened several safe houses
in New Jersey, established The Family Transitional Institute, and
fought for legislation to protect victims and families from abuse.

BMCC XI Co-Sponsor

Launching

Mothers
Against
Court
Custody
Abuse

JOIN US!

Mothers Against Court Custody Abuse is a new organization founded to expose


Fatherhood funding of family court by educating the public and legislature,
demanding accountability and reform.
GET THE FACTS:
at the workshop Sat. 3:45 - 4:45
at the website - www.MACCAbuse.org
GET THE BOOK:
Motherless America: Confronting Welfares Fatherhood Custody Program
(to be released: Fall, 2015)
MACCA is evolving. Have patience as we develop our campaign.
18

BMCC XI FACULTY
and guidance. Karli has observed that abused children develop
tremendous strength in being able to communicate with other
survivors like themselves. Currently, Karli is a medical student in
Arizona to become a pediatrician so she can contribute to childrens
health and well-being, and be an advocate they can depend on. She
has worked with Child Abuse Pediatricians during her training and
has recognized some of the benefits and inadequacies in the child
protective services. Being a part of Courageous Kids, she works
with other adult survivors to educate the public in an effort to
create change related to the epidemic that still exists in the family
court system. She is optimistic for the time when children and their
protective parents will be listened to, believed, and given justice.

ATTORNEY ALAN ROSENFELD has been practicing law in a


solo practice primarily representing battered women and mothers
of sexually abused children in high conflict custody cases for more
than 30 years. A graduate of the State University of New York
at Buffalo Law School (1983) Alan was initially admitted to
practice in Vermont and subsequently moved to Colorado. He was
one of the pioneers of the challenges to the statutes of limitations
that prevented adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse from
suing their abusers for damages and his law review article (The
Statute of Limitations Barrier In Childhood Sexual Abuse Cases:
The Equitable Estoppel Remedy, Harvard Womens Law Journal,
Volume 12 Spring, 1989) was considered seminal to the positive
changes in the law ultimately adopted around the world. Alans
work on behalf of mothers charged with parental abduction has
made him one of the leading experts on the crisis facing protective
parents. He defended April Curtis in California in the early
1990s, represented Holly Collins and many others and is currently
defending Dr. Genevieve Kelley in her criminal case in New
Hampshire.

RAQUEL SINGH, (Executive Director, Voices of Women


Organizing Project) is a non-profit leader with more than 10
years of experience in program development, organizational
management, strategic planning, and resource development. A
key strategic and tactical contributor in efforts to impact systems,
Raquel brings valuable management and development insight
to VOW. Throughout her career, Ms. Singh has raised monies
to improve the lives of women and children and is consistently
dedicated to helping them succeed. Raquel Singh has a B.S.
in Public Administration and lives in New York City with her
husband and two children.

KARLI SINGER is the founder of Hear Us Now! Incorporated,


a non-profit organization that is dedicated to abused children.
She is a survivor who was not protected as a child by the family
court system, so she has been committed to ensuring childrens
safety, while offering a secure place for victims to receive support

BMCC XI Co-Sponsor

The Childrens Justice Campaign seeks to


protect childrens constitutional rights and promote their
health and wellbeing in law and society.
It is with The Childrens Justice Campaign that we will support, protect and build resiliency
to overcome the negative effects of toxic stress on a childs long term health.
- Jennifer Trachtenberg MD, Pediatrician, Author, Co-founder Baby Bundle App,
Assistant Clinical Professor at The Mount Sinai School of Medicine

childrensjusticecampaign.org

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BMCC XI FACULTY
Contemporary Civilization, a survey course on the history of ideas
that have informed and defined our communities. As part of her
research, she regularly translates genocide victim and survivor
narratives for the US Holocaust Museum and is employed as
a testimony indexer by the Shoah Foundation, University of
Southern California. As a creative writing facilitator she is invested
in helping trauma survivors heal and works with populations such
as at-risk children, victims of interpersonal violence and mental
health patients. In addition, she is currently co-facilitating a
reading and discussion group on war and literature for veterans at
the Brooklyn Vets Center, New York.

EVAN STARK is a sociologist, forensic social worker, widely


published author and award-winning researcher with an
international reputation for his innovative work on the legal,
policy and health dimensions of interpersonal violence, including
its effects on children. Dr. Starks award-winning book, Coercive
Control: The Entrapment of Women in Personal Life (Oxford,
2007) has had a major impact on research, policy and legal reform
throughout the world. A founder of one of the first battered womens
shelters in the US, Dr. Stark and Dr. Anne Flitcraft co-directed
the Yale Trauma Studies, path-breaking research that documented
the significance of domestic violence for womens injury, child
abuse a range of health problems. Professor Stark has served as
an expert in more than 100 criminal, family, civil, federal and
child welfare cases, including Nicholson v. Williams, a successful
federal class action against New York City that ended the removal
of children from non-offending victims of domestic violence.
Dr. Stark has held numerous federal and state appointments
and has trained law, justice, judicial, child welfare, health and
mental health professionals throughout the world. At Rutgers
University, from which Dr. Stark retired as Professor Emeritus,
Dr. Stark was Director of Public Health and held appointments
at the School of Public Affairs, Rutgers Medical School and the
Department of Women and Gender Studies. In 2013, Dr. Stark
was the Leverhulme Visiting Professor at the Centre for Research
on Families and Relationships at the University of Edinburgh.

REBECCA TRIPP - Known as The Metaphysical Flight


Attendant, Rebecca Tripp is an author, spiritual coach, and
creative manifestress on a mission! Through speaking engagements,
workshops, and global events, she shares the wisdom of a life lived
at 35,000 feet, and helps people from all walks of life tap into the
innate power of their personal spiritual connection.
After 35 years as a Sky Goddess with United Airlines,
Rebecca reinvented herself as a spiritual teacher, coach, and healer.
A teacher of meditation and creative visualization since 2004,
her work integrates several proven modalities to help clients and
students heal themselves and create their ideal lives through the
power of positive thought.
Her book, Secrets of a Metaphysical Flight Attendant, is a
spiritual memoir which shares the fascinating story of Rebeccas
adventure-filled life in the skies while simultaneously providing
readers with tools, reflections, and exercises to help them harness
the infinite power of their own innate divinity.

ANITA TARNAI, Ph.D., is an educator. Her research focuses


on the impact of trauma on perception and language use. She has
received her doctorate from the Department of Slavic Languages
and Literatures, Columbia University, where she has taught

California Protective Parents Association


PO Box 15284 Sacramento CA 95851-0284 cppa001@aol.com

Proud Co-Sponsor of the BMCC XI


The Mission of the California Protective Parents Association
is to protect children from incest and family violence
through research, education and advocacy.
www.protectiveparents.com

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BMCC XI Co-Sponsors
The Voices of Women Organizing Project (VOW) is the lead initiative of the Battered Womens
Resource Center. Our mission is to bring together survivors of domestic violence to improve the
systems meant to provide safety and justice for abused women and their children.
VOW provides training, support, and technical assistance so that survivors can reclaim their
power, identify their needs, and collectively craft public recommendations. VOW members
organize to promote long-term systemic change by documenting institutional failures,
testifying at hearings, creating position papers, and meeting with local and state officials.
VOW is dedicated to ensuring that the voices of survivors are heard, recognized for their expertise,
and included in the decision-making process

Battered Womens Resource Center


Voices of Women Organizing Project

Phone: (212) 696-1481 Email: info@vowbwrc.org


Website: http://vowbwrc.org

PO Box 20181 Greeley Square Station, New York, NY 10001

The Nurtured Parent


Empowering Survivors of Domestic Abuse

The Nurtured Parent support group assists adults seeking


the opportunity to heal from the debilitating effects of abuse.
Now in its 6th year, The Nurtured Parent operates on the front lines
supporting survivors through free weekly support group meetings,
therapeutic outings and workshops, and public awareness conferences.
Of paramount importance to this cause has been to advocate for victims
rights and to unravel why family court often fails to protect the most
vulnerable among us, parents and their children in crisis seeking a life
free from abuse.
Phone: (201) 849-3000 E-Mail: patrice@nurturedparent.org
Website: http://nurturedparent.org
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BMCC XI FACULTY
SAM VAKNIN ( http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com ) is the
author of Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited and After the
Rain - How the West Lost the East, as well as many other books
and ebooks about topics in psychology, relationships, philosophy,
economics, international affairs, and award-winning short fiction.
His YouTube channel is http://www.youtube.com/samvaknin. As
per Sams discussion on narcissisms effect on children, see https://
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/
messages/4727

GREGORY R. WHITE is founding staff member of Catholic


Charities Domestic Violence Program for Men since its inception
and has served as Director for twenty-three years. During his
thirty-three years with Catholic Charities, he has been involved
in social justice, domestic violence community coordination,
and offender accountability efforts. Mr. White is a member of
the NYS Domestic Violence Fatality Review Team, the National
Council of the National Organization for Men Against Sexism
(NOMAS); and Co-Director of the National Training Institute
NY Model for Batterer Programs. He has been an invited
presenter at the First and Second World Conferences for Women
Shelters, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and Washington, DC;
the United States government sponsored him as presenter at the
Partners of the Americas Caribbean Regional Conference on
Domestic Violence and Womens Rights in South America that
brought together constituents from numerous Caribbean, South
America and the United States which led to a Domestic Violence
Project for Jamaica, W.I. whereby he provided training to multidisciplinary professionals, including speaking engagements and
national radio interviews across that country.

CONNIE VALENTINE, M.S. in Rehabilitation Counseling, is


the co-founder of CA Protective Parents Association (CPPA) and
has been instrumental in creating Mothers of Lost Children, a social
movement to counteract the efforts of batterers and molesters to
regain power and ownership over women and children. Mothers
of Lost Children began with three mothers in prayer in Davis CA
Central Park over a decade ago. We patterned ourselves after the
Mothers of the Disappeared in Argentina, mothers protesting the
capture and torture of their adult children by government forces.
GARLAND WALLER is the Director of the Television Graduate
Program, an assistant professor, at Boston University, and an
award-winning producer-writer-director of nationally syndicated
and local television and independent film programs. No Way Out
But One, her second indie feature documentary, won a Silver
Award at the Colorado Film Festival and was a selection for the
Bare Bones International Film Festival. She has also won an Indie,
an Accolade, and a Telly award. No Way Out But One, initially a
documentary short, was selected for The Unspoken Film Festival
on Human Rights and also won a Telly. Screenings have taken
place in New York, California, Colorado, New Hampshire,
Massachusetts, Florida, and Washington, DC, to name only a few.
The documentary focused on Holly Collins, the first American
woman to be granted asylum by the Dutch government on
grounds of domestic violence. The goal of No Way Out But One is
to expose the failure of Americas family courts to protect battered
women and their children. (http://www.nowayoutbutone.
com). Small Justice: Little Justice in Americas Family Courts, her
first independent production, was produced under the banner
of Garland Waller Productions. National awards include Best
Social Documentary, NY International Independent Film
Festival, GirlFest Indie Award, Award for Media Excellence 8th
International Conference on Family Violence, and the Key West
Indie Film Fest. Wallers early awards for television productions
include the Grand Prize and the Gold Prize at the International
Film Festival of New York, the Iris Award for Best Entertainment,
two Ohio State Awards, five New England Emmys and two Action
for Childrens Television Awards.

QUENBY WILCOX is the Founder of Global Expats, an Internet


start-up whose mission is to assist expatriated families around
the world. It is through her own experience with family courts
and their failure to protect victims of domestic abuse, that she
has become involved in promoting gender violence and domestic
abuse as human rights violations.

In using her own case against the Spanish government, she
is demonstrating how rampant discrimination against women
and lack of due process within family courts, are human rights
violations with serious criminal consequences for judicial actors
who fail to fulfill their professional duties and obligations. Her
case, Wilcox vs. Spain, builds on Gonzales Carreo vs. Spain
(CEDAW), challenging the Spanish governments defense of
inadmissibility due to judicial error, demonstrating the
governments legal responsibility in their failure to assure good
governance, transparency, and accountability within Spanish
family courts.

Her research into the issues has examined the human rights,
womens rights, and domestic violence movements of the past 50
years, and the dichotomies between the three movements. The
results of her research and advocacy work are posted on www.
warondomesticterrorism.com.
ANDREW WILLIS is the CEO of the Stop Abuse Campaign.
Born in Hong Kong, he was schooled in Great Britain and has
been travelling ever since. A Captain in the British Army, he spent
much of his life practicing integrated marketing communications
for global brands like IBM, American Express, HP, Citi and the
Royal National Institute for the Blind. A survivor of both child
sexual abuse and domestic violence, Andrew has dedicated the
second half of his life to ending abuse and alleviating the suffering
of those involved.

22

BMCC XI Co-Sponsors

The National Family Court Watch Project is dedicated to providing an impartial


assessment of the effectiveness of family courts in dealing with child
protection, family violence, custody, visitation, support and property issues.
Renee Beeker Founder and President
National Family Court Watch Project
510 Highland Avenue, NO 414
Milford, MI 48381
(248) 752-8623
www.nfcwp.org

23

BMCC XI Co-Sponsor

24

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