Brown topic c : an intellectual experience

Study hall. My geography book is opensomething about chalk deposits under

Gyeongsang province. Late August sunbeams reveal just how much dust clogs the air, how
much dust we drink in with our barely stifled yawns. Some fall asleep outright, their heads
performing the pendulum dance, bobbing in and out of slumber but never breaking the
surface. Even sleep is fun compared to chalk deposits!
But Jaewon and I at the back of the classwe have our own escape.
The problem with antitheists (you know, like Dawkins, Hitchens) is that they keep
contradicting themselves, I begin with a whisper.
Whats contradictory about mocking a religion begun by a girl lying about her
pregnancy? Jaewon hits back.
Jaewon is a gloating atheist, me a conflicted Christian. We are a perfect match.
Antitheists say religion is both false and evil. But if there is no universal standard
(God) to enforce karma, there is no absolute good or bad. Then how can religion be evil?
Ethics doesnt need religion, Jaewon answers. More likely morality evolved just
like anything else. Well die out if we kill each other too much, so Thou Shalt Not Kill.
I shake my head. Then what? Rape is good? Rape will pass on my genes just fine,
but its still evil. I am talking fast now, tripping over my words to deliver my point.
I mean, if ethics is just evolved instinct. Well So is hunger, I continue. That
way, if I eat a really good steak, and you give yours to a starving child, you arent the better
person. If we are talking just evolution, Im the one whos not going to starve.
But Jaewon is unfazed. Maybe thats exactly how it is. We dont need absolute good
or evil. People can decide what is good or evil themselves, cant they. God is dead, so make
your own rules. Be the ubermensch, he says. Jaewon is a self-proclaimed nihilist, although
on good days he is just existential.
Im not convinced. Thats a total cop-out! You cant just say Do whatever and call
that morality. And even if
Something long and wooden strikes the back of my head. I look up to find Mr. Park
standing over me with his stick. Obediently, I turn back to my bookchalks deposits are
susceptible to rain erosion. But as soon as Mr. Parks back is turned, we are off again.
Is this philosophy? Not really. Not yet. Our talks have no system, no footnotes, no
moment of nirvana. Nothing we say will throw academia into turmoil. But every day, as we
spar, explore, and assault each others beliefs, I feel the world coming into sharper focus. I
become more whole, transcending the dust, the yawns, the chalk deposits. And I know,
clearly, how I want to spend my life.