QueerThingAboutLanguage

HarryTanner

I do not have time to say this how I might like,soIwillsay whatImust.Peopleassumehomophobic

languageisamatterforpoliticalcorrectness,Iwillproveitsfarmoreserious.

Last year was a momentous year for gay rights. Equalmarriage legislation constituted another quiet,
dignifiedremovalof abrickfrom the wall that hasforsolongdividedunderstanding. StoriesofB&B
owners turfing lovingcouplesfromaplacetostayarefewandfarbetween.Incidentsofgayshavingtheir
heads kicked in on Pride weekend firmly reside in the last decade. On the surface, Britain should be
proud. The safest place in the world to begay. Oneof thefirsttoadoptsamesex marriage legislation.
HosttothetwolargestPridefestivalsin the world.Thebattleforrightshasbeenwon. Butthebattle for
equality hasnot. Thatsso gay, You faggot,queer areeverydayphrases.Yet,anyonewhohas dug
deeper knows true homophobic sentiment is almost neverexpressed. Asociety wearing ahatingsmile,
buthavingaheartofgold.

I am gay. I came out a year ago and realised how wrong I had been over what peoplethought ofmy
sexuality.Butdoingthat,tooksomestrongtalkfromsomevery,veryspecialpeople.

Iwasinmyfriends room.Itwaspast midnight.Everyoneelsehadjust left, butIhadsomethingtosay.

Desperatelywanting tosay whatI have tosay,its wedgedinmythroat,Igetup toleave.Justas hesays
night myhand isonthedoor.Dot,IthinkIm gay.Hepauses,Ihaveneverbeensofrightenedandhe
saidSo?Does it matter? Whoyoufall inlovewith,whoyougo tobedwith isyourbusiness.I broke
up.Intotears.

Ihadfeltitwas wrong.I feltdirty,pervertedwhatIdfeltallmyteenagelife.Ihadneverlikedgirls.The

confidence tocome out,to show theworld mydisgusting,unnaturalselfwasaweirdcourage.Iexpected
a big deal. I expected fireworks,fights andI expectedtohavetostandmyground.Iwashalf thinkingI
wasgoingtohavetoleavemyschool.Noonecared.Youexpectsomuch,theydeliversolittle.

Butwheredidthisselfhatecomefrom?WhathadIbeen workingmyselfupfor? Iliedeveryday.WhenI

went to bedatnightIprayed toGod that hed makemestraight. I googled straight camps,I researched
reversaltherapyprocesses,Iwasinsecureandalone.Wherediditcomefrom?

ThefirsttimeIheardtheword
gay
,Irememberaskingwhatitmeant.Mymatetoldmeitmeansitsbad,
like weird. So I acquired a new vocabulary, synonyms of which included,faggot, queer, bender.
There isa field called AssociativeLinguisticswhichdealsin how ourprevious understanding ofaword
dramatically change our perception of any new definition. So when it came for me to learn the real
meaning oftheword, mybrain tellsme its bad.Nopersoneversaidtomegaypeoplearebad.People
acceptme.Theyalwaysdid.Ijustthoughttheywouldnt.
1 in 10 people are gay, apparently. JeremyClarkson.Everytimeyousay thats abit gayon national
television to a group of 10year olds. You ruin 1 in10 lives.Whatyousayisnt insulting tome, but to
someonehidingtheirsexualityitsdownrightterrifying.


As a society we are so plagued by what offends. Shout me down the street bender as I hold my
boyfriendshand,Idont care.Butthink,thinkwhatthosewords,those messagesdo everydaytothose
stillsilentinthecloset.Thoseboys,girls,menandwomenwhocowerfromthisphantomofoppression.

In the end I washappy. I am loved.Imfree.IcanbewhoIwanttobe.Bringthatfutureclosertotheme

ofyesteryear.Stopthebigotedlanguage,yourewonderfulpeopleandthankyouverymuch.