The Gift of Singleness ~ Selected Texts from 1 Corinthians 7

August 16, 2015 ~ New City Church of Calgary ~ Pastor John Ferguson
Intro: When I served as a campus minister, one of the most popular series that we did every 3-4 years was the
series we did on Love, Marriage, & Sexuality. One of the reasons I loved working with university students and
young adults is because they were askingoften for the first timeserious questions about this topic.
They didnt recognize it at the time, but what we were doing was developing a theology of relationships
that is, we were looking at relationships from Gods point of view. But what almost no one spent anytime
thinking about was a theology of singlenessthat is, looking at the singleness from Gods perspective.
Key Question: How should we think about singleness? Do you know what Christianity has to say about the
single life?
What if I were to tell you thatas a single personif you were to miss what Christianity has to say, youd be
in danger of not only wasting your singleness, but missing out on a deeply fulfilling way of thinking about
and investing your singleness?
And what if I were to tell you that as a community of faithmade up of singles and marriedswe need to
nail this so we dont distort the counsel we give to one another, and in particular, that we dont say
misguided things to one another on this weighty issue?
Paige Benton, Singled Out by God for Good, described advice she would hear from well meaning friends
bad advice that was nothing more than a warped theology of singleness
As soon as youre satisfied with God alone, hell bring someone into your lifeas though Gods blessings
are earned by our contentment.
Youre too pickyas though God is frustrated by our fickle whims and needs broader perimeters in which
to work.
Before you can marry someone wonderful, the Lord has to make you someone wonderfulas though
God grants marriage as a second blessing to the satisfactorily sanctified.
Sound familiar? How should we think about singleness?
I know some of us are single by choice (fear of relationships, fear of getting hurt, busy making tackling your
goals) and some who are single by circumstance (divorced or widowed, or who desire marriage, but its not
happening, at least not in the foreseeable future). I know there are some of us who are married who wished we
were single, and some of us married because we had a bad theology of singleness viewing it as a curse. And
some of us are married, but we give bad advice because we have a bad theology of singleness.
The Gift of Singleness - Selected texts from 1 Corinthians 7. I want to invite you to listen in on some counsel
that one of the preeminent leaders in the early churchwho himself was singlegave to a congregation living
in the ancient city of Corinth who themselves were confused about love, marriage, sexuality, & singleness.
7:1Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: It is good for a man not to have sexual
relations with a woman.2But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have
his own wife and each woman her own husband.
1. Corinthian congregation was buffeted by the errors asceticism and gnosticism.
2. Paul affirmed the goodness of marriage as the only appropriate place for sexual relations.
3. Sexual immorality across the board in Scripture refers to any kind of sexual expression outside of
marriage (e.g. 1 Thess. 4:3ff).
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6Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.7I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has
his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.8To the unmarried and the widows I say
that it is good for them to remain single as I am.9But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should
marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1. The same Paul who wrote in Eph 5 of the loftiness of marriage which is a picture of the union of Christ with
the church, here speaks highly and even commends singleness.
He speaks of the gift of singleness as being on par with the gift of marriage. Each is a gift from God, as
indeed your whole life is a gift from God.
2. See how radical this is, especially against the backdrop of ancient religions and cultures.
Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage, 194ff., Nearly all ancient religions and cultures made an absolute
value of the family and of the bearing of children. There was no honour without family honor, and there
was no real lasting significance or legacy without leaving heirs. But Christianitys founder, Jesus Christ,
and leading theologian, St. Paul, were both single their entire lives. Single adults cannot be seen as
somehow less fully formed or realized human beings than married persons because Jesus Christ, a
single man, was the perfect man.
Both married life and single life are good things, and both should be viewed as gifts of God. In some
cases, the single life is to be preferred and chosen.
25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one
who by the Lords mercy is trustworthy.
1. Paul continues to give counsel, now to the betrothed. The Greek words means essentially virgin.
2. It is his counsel, i.e, he has no instruction or particular command from Jesus on this issue.
26I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is.27Are you
bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.28But if you do
marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who
marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that....
1. The context: the present / impending distress.
Some think this is about the growing persecution that believers are beginning to experience both from the
Jews and from the Roman empire (vs. 29, the appointed time has grown very short). Others think this
refers the end of time (vs. 31, the present form of this world is passing away).
2. His counsel, in light of the present distress, stay single. But if you marry, you have not sinned. But he wants
to spare them of the troubles they would face if they marry in view of the present distress.
Its one thing to face persecution as a single person, its an entirely different thing to face it as a family.
32I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord,
how to please the Lord.33But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his
wife,34and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the
things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly
things, how to please her husband.35I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you,
but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
1. The single life affords the single person an opportunity to be devoted to the pressing work of the kingdom
of God. There is a flexibility and a freedom to invest ones life without the pressing needs of a family.
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2. Be careful, Paul is not denigrating family life, nor is he saying that serving ones family is not a serving the
Lord. Indeed, it is a form of service, but it is a long-term work (shepherding the heart of your spouse and
children), and something which the Lord calls some people to in giving them the gift of marriage and family.
Paul is thinking of the immediate opportunities for investing ones single life for the sake of the gospel of
Jesus Christ and the mission of the church.
When youre married, you have to invest primarily in that relationship, and you are called to do so. You
take your wife on a date, visit the in-laws, you change diapers & help kids with their homework. All these
things are pleasing to the Lord. But they are not in themselves, the work of spreading the gospel.
Illus: Campus minister who left a college dorm late on night around 11pm after finishing a Bible study. He
bumped into a student who inquired what he was doing on campus so late. The CM explained, but the
student then asked somewhat confusedly, Dont you have a wife and kids?
Illus: I hear from time to time of wives who divorce their husbands who are pastors b/c the church
became the mistress with whom he gave all his time and energy and affection. Or children who grow up
angry because their father gave all his attention to the ministry of the church and gave none to them.
38So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even
better.
Singleness should be viewed as both as a gift of God and as a calling from God.
1. Invest your singleness for the glory of God.
(1) In order to do that, you must see your singleness as a gift of God.
Some of us are single b/c of circumstances, ie., not by choice. Desire, but no options.

- Its not wrong to be single and desire marriage. What is wrong is to demand it.
- P. Benton, I may meet someone and walk down the aisle in the next couple of years because God
is good to me. I may never have another date and die an old maid at 93 because God is so good
to me.

- Gods goodness is never to be measured by our current circumstances, but because of his great
love with which he loved us. God demonstrates his great love for us in that while we were sinners,
Christ died for us - Rom. 5.
Some of us are single b/c of circumstances, ie., not by choice. Widowed or divorced.

- We are sorry for your loss. We know this is not how you envisioned your life playing out, and we
know that you feel deeply the brokenness of this life. But let us encourage you as well. God loves
you and is not finished with you.

- Part of what God wants you to see is that even now, and maybe because especially now you find
yourself single, he wants to use you to bless others in ways that only you can uniquely do.
(2) In order to do that, you must see your singleness as a calling from God.
Keller, In his writings, Paul always uses the word gift to mean an ability God gives to build others
up. The gift-ness of being single for Paul lay in the freedom it gave him to concentrate on
ministry It is fruitfulness in life and ministry through the single state.
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 Its not a question of if you will invest your singleness, but how. Could you find creative ways to serve
Christ & His church with the freedom and flexibility that you have? Dont think, one day Ill serve
Christ with everything I have. Invest today!
Jesus speaks of those who choose singleness for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one
who is able to receive this receive it (Matthew 19:10-12).
2. Lets learn to view the church as our family.
(1) Mark 10:29-30, Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother
or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in
this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and
in the age to come eternal life.
In Jesus view of things, the life of singleness is not meant to be a life of isolation, but a rich and full
life of deep, meaningful friendships found in communities of faith around the world who join arms in
life and mission with Jesus as the new family of Jesus.
(2) Practically, what would this look like?
It would mean that we learn to see each other first as brothers and sisters in Christ, and only
secondarily as married or single.
Romans 15:7, Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.

- For married folks, it would mean opening your life to the singles in our church, inviting them over
and having them be a part of your family. This would mean that you intentionally open your life to
people who are in different stages of life, and include them in activities with your family.

- For singles, it would mean actually committing to the communal life of your church. It would mean
that you would not simply date the church, but fall in love with the people of God. It could mean
signing up for the church retreat, in order to spend some extended time with others who are learning to follow Jesus. It could mean joining a small group of people with folks of all stations in life.
Conclusion
When I was a campus minister, part of what I did was to challenge singles and married folks to break down the
walls that normally divide them.
For singles who were tempted surround themselves with people from just their age group, I challenged them,
You need to be in a community of people with babies who spit up on you and adults who have walked with
Christ longer than youve been alive.
For married folks, I challenged them to open their homes and their lives, to adopt single people and invite
them into the rhythms of their family life. Such is the kind of community that Jesus wants his follows to
become.
NCC, may you become a people that view both marriage and singleness
as good gifts from a good God and as callings from a good God,
and may the Lord form you into a community of brothers and sisters
on mission with Christ for the good of this world.

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