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Posted On: April 8, 2010 by John Mesirow

A Hotheaded, Cold-Hearted Burglar

No, not the kitties! From High Bridge, New Jersey, per the Hunterdon County Democrat (via nj.com):
Three cats were reportedly locked in a freezer and oven during a theft at a Main Street apartment here. The cats were
apparently not injured, but electronics and other items were reported stolen, police said.
The burglary and theft was discovered on Friday, March 26 around 5:30 p.m. Someone heard the cats meowing from
the freezer and oven and released them, police said.

http://www.legaljuice.com/2010/04/post_118.html
Posted On: April 4, 2010 by John Mesirow

A Brilliant Disguise For A Robbery

So, it's 4:30 a.m. in Lincoln, Nebraska, and this guy needed some cigarettes. He was probably drunk (from drinking
Bud Light.) Why would I guess that he was drinking Bud Light? Well sir, as reported by the Lincoln Journal Star:
A man who robbed a north Lincoln Kwik Shop on Monday morning brought a disguise he was wearing a Bud Light
box on his head.

The man had a green rag wrapped around his hand, implying he had a weapon, when he entered the store at 4400
Cornhusker Highway around 4:30 a.m. He made off with nine packs of Newport cigarettes, valued at nearly $50, police
Capt. Bob Kawamoto said.
A truly wacky - and at least for now unsolved - crime. Here's the source, which has a photo of the gent entering the
premises.

http://journalstar.com/news/local/article_88e6197e-e24c-5196-badc-35aaf58f6c6e.html
Home / News / Local News

Photos, video released of Lincoln robbery suspect

who donned beer box
A man who robbed a north Lincoln Kwik Shop on Monday morning brought a disguise he was wearing a
Bud Light box on his head.

Lincoln Police have released video surveillance images from a robbery Monday morning in which a man wore
a Bud Light beer box on his head to conceal his identity.
The man had a green rag wrapped around his hand, implying he had a weapon, when he entered the store at
4400 Cornhusker Highway around 4:40 a.m, police Capt. Bob Kawamoto said.
He made off with nine packs of Newport cigarettes, valued at nearly $50, Kawamoto said.
Posted in Local on Tuesday, May 26, 2009 12:00 am

Squeezed On: May 18, 2010

Drunk Folks Make Poor Decisions

Here's a very good example, per WTHR.com:

It was a day that kept getting worse for a Terre Haute man who put his car in a ditch and then tried to get it out with a
"borrowed" tractor.
When officers arrived, they discovered a large farm tractor and car in a ditch, apparently after falling from the bridge.
The driver of the tractor had fled the scene.
Yeah, no chance the police would figure out it was him, what with his car being in the ditch ...
Troopers got a tip that the driver was hiding at a nearby farm house on Rio Grande Road. Officers went to the
residence and took the driver into custody without incident.
Damn you tipster!
The driver was identified as Kevin Michael Whitesell, age 31, of Terre Haute, IN. Whitesell was taken to the Vigo County
Jail. He faces charges of Driving While Intoxicated, Class A misdemeanor; and Leaving the Scene of a Property Damage
Crash, Class C misdemeanor. Additional charges may be filed.
The blow-by-blow:
Police say at around 5:00 am, Whitesell crashed his 2000 Chevrolet Cavalier on Bluejay Road just west of Eppert Road.
He then walked to a farm house on Rio Grande Road, approximately two miles from the scene, and obtained a 1998
John Deere 9100 Series four-wheel driver tractor.
So after walking 2 miles, it still didn't dawn on him that this was a bad idea.
Whitesell then drove back to his car on Bluejay, hooked the overturned car to the tractor and began dragging the car
(on its top) eastbound on Bluejay.
As Whitesell attempted to make a right turn onto Eppert, he lost control and drove the tractor over the west side of the
bridge, dragging the car with it. The tractor was owned by Plant Farms and the owner of the car was Whitesell. Police
say Whitesell was an employee of Plant Farms, but he took the tractor without his employer knowing about it.
Damn you Eppert Road!
Damage to the bridge was estimated at $10,000 to $20,000 and the tractor was valued at $150,000.
Zoinks! Here's the source, with multiple photographs of the scene.
Posted by John Mesirow | Permalink | Email This Post
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Washington DC Injury Lawyer John B. Mesirow represents injured accident victims in Washington DC, Maryland
and Northern Virginia. His practice includes Car Accidents, Bike Accident, Boating Accident, Brain Injury, Construction
Accident, Dog Bite, Medical Malpractice, Motorcycle Accident, Trucking Accident and Wrongful Death cases. John
Mesirow was named a "Top Lawyer" by Washingtonian magazine and aggressively represents his clients. You can
contact him online or by phone at 866-463-0303 or 202-463-0303.
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Squeezed On: May 17, 2010

If The Underwear Doesn't Fit, You

Must Acquit

Okay, so maybe that's not exactly the defense employed, but it's damn close. As reported in The South Asian Post:
An Indian man escaped a possible death sentence for drug trafficking after his lawyer told a court it was impossible to
walk with a stash of heroin in his underpants.Mumbai police alleged Dhirendra Kamdar was carrying two kilograms of
the drug in four, 500-gram packets in his underwear when they picked him up as he walked from a guest house to get
a taxi to the city's airport. But when the case came to trial, Kamdar's lawyer Ayaz Khan said it was impossible for
anyone to walk one kilometre with such an amount of drugs concealed in his smalls, the Daily News and Analysis
newspaper said.Khan demonstrated his theory to the judge using four identically-sized bags filled with sugar, and was
acquitted of the charge on lack of evidence.
500 grams equals about 1.1 pounds. So the total was almost 4.5 pounds. That would definitely alter your gait.
Posted by John Mesirow | Permalink | Email This Post
Posted In: Best Of

Washington DC Injury Lawyer John B. Mesirow represents injured accident victims in Washington DC, Maryland
and Northern Virginia. His practice includes Car Accidents, Bike Accident, Boating Accident, Brain Injury, Construction
Accident, Dog Bite, Medical Malpractice, Motorcycle Accident, Trucking Accident and Wrongful Death cases. John
Mesirow was named a "Top Lawyer" by Washingtonian magazine and aggressively represents his clients. You can
contact him online or by phone at 866-463-0303 or 202-463-0303.
http://www.legaljuice.com/
Squeezed On: May 16, 2010

A School With Too Many Rules

Certainly regular readers know the Juice is not a fan of dress codes. Check this out, from Georgia's Thomson-McDuffie
Junior High School website:
In order to foster a climate conducive to [blah, blah, blah] ... the following guidelines have been developed with input
from councils, faculty, administration, and students.
... sunglasses are not to be worn on campus. ... No grills are to be worn.
No shades or grills? That's cold.
Proper and acceptable undergarments must be worn and must not be visible to others. Cleavage must not show.
How will the school know if the undergarments are "proper and acceptable" if you can't see them! Brilliant!
Shoes or sandals must be worn. ... and athletic sandals are not allowed at school.
No "athletic sandals?" Say what?
Shirts or blouses must have sleeves; shirts and blouses must be tucked in. ... Belt line must be visible at all times. Any
shirts or blouses that cannot be tucked in may not be worn.
NFW. You have to tuck your shirts and blouses in! Please, transfer me!
Shorts/pants must be long enough to touch the top of the kneecap. Shorts/pants must be fitted at the waist and not be
baggy or frayed at the bottom.
Really? The kneecap?
All students must wear identification badges properly at all times.
Is it me, or is this starting to sound like a detention facility?
Personal grooming should be done at home, not at school.
I can't brush or comb my hair?
The principal of the school has a right to prohibit any item of clothing he deems to be inappropriate.
Wow. That is just laughably unenforceable.
Now that you know the crimes, the times ...
Penalty for failure to comply with dress code: First offense - correction (if possible) or ISS and 3 hours detention.
Second offense - correction (if possible) and one (1) day of Saturday School. Third offense - three (3) days ISS and
required parent conference. A Fourth offense is considered Defiance and will result in three (3) days suspension
minimum.