Ubu Projex Insider Protocols

Introduction
Some years ago we were touring with a popular young group.
They were friends. One day I was talking to the leader about this
& that, passing the time, and we got around to the internal
workings of our respective bands.

You guys got a reputation for being democratic, you know, a

communal group of equals and all that, I said. I got this
reputation for being an unreasonable dictator. So I suppose you
vote on things, hunh?

Sure, Mr F said.

Me: You're a four piece. What happens when there's a tie?

Mr F: I've got two votes.

Me: So the only way you get out-voted is if all three of the others
stand together?

Mr F: I suppose but if that happens we do what I want anyway.

The project basis of Ubu Projex is described in The Story of Ubu.

Pere Ubu doesn't vote unless the outcome will be unanimous.
Opinions are polled and if anyone is likely to dissent a vote is
deferred and nothing happens. In practice we operate by
consensus. This has had disastrous commercial consequences. It
means that we sometimes don't do anything. (When the situation
becomes intolerable the only solution is to disband and reformat.)
Over time a series of precedents has been established. These
protocols embody principles that have been accepted and are the
basis for future decisions. In this byzantine world even the
simplest equation has unimaginable repercussions. On the
Penny/Pound Principle (from the English expression, "In for a
penny, in for a pound."), for example, hangs everything Ubu.

Band meetings are rare events. They usually have apocalyptic

consequences. Hence, the rarity. When a band meeting is called
everyone knows there's trouble coming. In Ubu's history there
have been only three or four of them. Ubu is organized so as to
minimize the need for conversation - no, so as to eliminate as far
as possible any conversation. This has evolved for two reasons:
(1) David doesn't like talking; and, (2) in the early days it became
clear to us that if you feel the need to yak on about something
(specifically, art) then odds are you don't know what the hell
you're talking about. (This was carried to extremes by a long-time
manager who would send emails to his assistant, sitting next to
him, along the lines of, "Next time you go down to the kitchen
bring me a coffee please.")

David Thomas is the day-to-day Project Director. He proceeds

down a course with greater or lessor band consultation,
depending on circumstances. As long as more of his decisions are
reasonable than fewer then the band allows him to proceed.
(Historically, this has also been because he is the only band
member ever to be in possession of the Nuclear Button.) One of
the Project Director's responsibilities is to see to it that the Rules
are maintained.

On tour the Project Director acts as Tour Manager. Other duties

are assigned to band members. Guiding principle: the more you
do a good job the more responsibility you get assigned.
Sometimes a band member will perform several functions. These
are:

* Promoter Liaison / Trouble-shooter: get paid, arrange for any

unresolved rider issues, solve problems that involve the show
with a cool head.
* Pioneer: jump out of the truck at a moment's notice and find
out what the hell is going on, i.e. where are are, where load-in is,
etc.
* Archivist: collect and preserve stuff.
* Set-List: make sure there are set lists drawn up for each show
and distributed.
* The Nice Guy: talk to people... nicely, pretending to be
interested.
* Merch Assistant: help David sell merchandise from the front
of the stage, watch his back.
* Enforcer: the less said about this the better... Opposite of The
Nice Guy. Principle to keep in mind: Good Cop / Bad Cop.

The Penny/Pound Principle is our E=MC2.

Think about this nightmare world:

* Once a principle has been accepted it becomes a rule & the

status quo.

* The status quo is operative until it is changed by vote.

* We don't have to vote if any one person doesn't want to vote.

The Rules serve to counterbalance the awesome inertia of the

organization. Ubu Projex operates on a Silence is Acceptance
principle. Members are informed. If there are no objections the
Project Director proceeds. This allows for a member to Not Agree
while also Not Disagreeing. This is an invaluable organizational
tool. Somehow we muddle through.

So, yes, Pere Ubu operates by Rule. And, no, Pere Ubu is NOT a
democracy. We are, if anything, a Republic. In Pere Ubu you are
responsible for yourself. We are a collection of moderately
responsible adults who choose to work together as independent
agents, pooling our talents and sharing in the rewards of
whatever our talents are worth in the marketplace. We are all
independent contractors. No one is an employee. This goes for
crew & band & management.

For other miscellaneous Guiding Light principles click here.

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Taking Pictures & Press Protocol

1. Pere Ubu won't have its picture taken for press or promotional
purposes anywhere in public, i.e. anywhere that civilians can see
us getting our picture taken. We prefer studios or out of the way
locations. It is a shameful thing for a man to pose for a picture
and we seek to hide our shame from the public. Photographers,
note: we will not run or jump or do anything. Don't ask. Don't
think you can wear us down. Many have tried. We do NOT relax.

2. Photos may be taken freely and without restriction during

concerts by professionals or fans, with flashes or without flashes,
for fun or for no fun. We don't care as long as you stay off the
stage and don't bother others. We reserve the right to be totally
and absolutely arbitrary. It is our art.

3. Please note that David Thomas, when performing in one of his

solo groups, should not be described as ex-Pere Ubu or formerly
of Pere Ubu. He does not blink in and out of existence. This seems
to be a very hard concept for writers to come to grips with but he
remains a member of Pere Ubu while playing with the pale boys,
buying groceries or taking a bath.

4. Mr Thomas is happy to do written interviews via email as long

as it's understood that anything interesting will be posted at the
web site. In-person, face to face interviews can be arranged--
contact the Directors of Ubu Projex.

5. Please print our web site address:

http://www.ubuprojex.net

6. For press tour requirements see below.

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Live Recording Permission & Bootlegs

NB. To find the procedures involved in recording a cover version

of an Ubu song, see below.

1. For private, archival, radio, etc. recordings you need to get our
written approval. Check with Ubu Projex concerning the
procedure.

2. You need to sign a letter of agreement that guarantees the

following:

* In the case of a sound recording you will give us a DAT digital

copy of the master on the night. In the case of a video recording
you will give us a copy in an agreed format. We can do what we
like with these copies, including commercial release in which you
can have no financial interest.
* We will need to know: (1) the name of the station or network;
(2) the recording method; and (3) the intended broadcast date
and time.
 * You can have no commercial rights.
* We have the absolute right of veto.
* No costs charged to us.

3. We reserve the right to be absolutely arbitrary. We trust the

following: VPRO (Holland), Couleur 3 Radio (Switzerland) and
Danish Broadcasting Corporation (solely on the basis of the King
of Denmark's defense of the jews in WWII). Others will be treated
with suspicion.

How do you feel about audience recording for personal home

use?

1. We will not give permission for that sort of recording.

2. We will not make any attempt to discourage it or stop it. We
will not ask the venue to act and we will not act ourselves...
usually. If we see mic stands going up and some elaborate rig in
place, or if we don't feel good about any aspect of the situation,
we will act to put a stop to it. Discreet and respectful people have
no worries.
3. If you do record a show we expect you to send us a good
quality copy.
4. Asking to patch into the soundboard gets a curt, dismissive
"no" and will get you banned from recording. Putting up mics
around the soundboard achieves the same end. Bugging our
soundman for any reason gets the same.

I recently had posted the Rocket from the Tombs Jack Slack Lp, on
Ebay and was threatened with legal action by your agent for
doing so. I purchased this record legally in Canada over 10 years
ago and believe I had every right to post and sell this record. I will
attach below the emails from your agent . I removed the record
for sale to prevent any possible infringement on your rights.
Please let me know your position on this matter.

The album you refer to is an illegal bootleg. Regardless of

whether or not it's been bought in good faith, there is no such
thing as legal ownership of stolen property. Go out and buy a
stolen necklace in good faith. See what happens. If someone sells
a legal copy of a copyrighted work that is a perfectly sound and
normal transaction. It is the foundation of all commerce. There is,
however, no such thing as legal ownership of stolen property.
There are no circumstances of law anywhere on the planet I dare
say that allow for legal ownership of something stolen. Clearly
this incident may seem like an unfair situation from your end but,
on the other hand, if you're honest about it, you probably knew it
was a bootleg when you bought it. A bootleg is stolen property. Of
course everyone has bootlegs and we're pretty loose about this
when it comes to fans trading bootlegs with each other privately.

It seems to me that going on eBay is the equivalent of being

indiscreet. As you note, not being discreet calls down the
hammer. The reason for this "don't ask, don't tell" policy is that
we have no problem with fans doing what fans do but if you allow
public exploitation of your work to go unpunished then you
devalue it. By entering into a commercial transaction you have
left the safe confines of fandom wherein the discreet non-
commercial trading or exchange of bootlegs, for example, would
be overlooked. We are not seeking to strip you of your bootleg
and if you return to the safe confines of fandom then you will slip
beneath our vision and that will be the end of the story. In the
marketplace, however, you are expected to play by the rules.

Smog Veil, the legally licensed copyright holder of the RFTT

recordings, has a right, and as far as we're concerned, a duty, to
protect their investment - an investment that has been
distributed to all the musicians and writers of the recordings. Jack
Slack, it might be noted, has never paid anyone anything. We
have our eye on the person behind Jack Slack. He has been
warned.

So my question to you is, What do you want from me? I am

sympathetic. But I also play by the rules. And I play by them even
when they don't go in my favor-- which like yourself probably
seems like much of the time.

On the subject of YouTube... Responses to Fan Enquiries

Our position on fan usage of bootlegs is very clear. We are happy

for fans to do what fans do. Some of us are, or used to be, fans.
To our undying shame there is an Ubu musician who trolls Russian
web sites for Yes bootlegs. To repeat, as long as you do not enter
the marketplace we are happy.
None of the submitters asked our permission to upload to the
site. If they had we may or may not have given permission
depending on quality of recording and quality of performance.
And on any number of intangibles. "We reserve the right to be
arbitrary - it is our art."

We are not interested in self-promotion if the cost is loss of

editorship. Recordings of live events are not accurate
reproductions of the event. The concert experience cannot be
captured on tape. It is a gestalt of innumerable real-life
sensations that fill each moment as it goes by and then are lost
forever in the time stream. We almost always choose bootleg
style recordings in preference to mobile multi-track recordings
when we compile live records. But the operative word is "choose."
WE choose. We are uniquely and solely qualified to be the editors
of our own work. We have paid the price. In regard to YouTube, we
were not asked. We did not choose.

The fans of Pere Ubu do not own us. Their money does not buy
us. It buys our productivity - we determine our productivity.
Without control of our productivity we abdicate our uniqueness.
We owe nothing to our fans but the determination to maintain the
quality, vision and uniqueness of our productivity. (But, to be truly
accurate, we do not owe our fans even that - we owe ourselves.)
Otherwise then why don't you just send us a monthly check
because we are who we are? Of course not. It's a one way street.
The bus runs one way. You can get on the bus or not. But if you
get on the bus you can't then tell the driver to go by the mini-
mart on Payne.

If you don't like Ronald McDonald and Happy Meals and Special
Sauce then you don't have to buy a Big Mac. The McDonalds
Corporation, however, is under no obligation to run their affairs
so as to please you or your sensibilities. And frankly they'd be
nuts to even worry about it.

That record companies choose to promote their products on

YouTube is of no concern to us. But, note, they choose. They
select exactly what they want to be distributed. No one asked us.

Not everyone at a record company is a scumbag. I doubt if even

the majority is. I don't know any of the details of CCR's dealings
with record companies and I wouldn't presume to guess. I DO
know that record companies make an easy target for disgruntled
musicians who have made bad decisions in the past, or who have
been "cheated" by the times. There are plenty of people
especially in the early days who got a bad shake from the
business. On the other hand, name any sports player from 40
years ago who didn't get an equally bad shake in comparison
with today's players.

Fan appreciation has nothing to do with it. And there is no point

to getting sidetracked. We bring a product to the marketplace.
Those who choose to do so may purchase that product. Buying a
concert ticket entitles the purchaser to that momentary
experience but not to record the experience and not to copy the
recording of that experience. That is the law. And more
importantly that is the "deal." We clearly state that we will not
stop any respectful, discreet recording of our concerts, or the
private, fan-driven trading of those copies. We go on to state,
however, that once the marketplace becomes involved we will
intervene. YouTube is a marketplace. It is not a benign and
discreet environment. It is a business. Once a marketplace is
involved we have the right and duty to determine what of ours
appears in the marketplace.

Whether it hurts or helps us has nothing to do with it.

There is nothing to prevent a fan from seeking our permission to

post. There is a methodology for accomplishing this. We are
freely available via email. The issue is permission, not money, not
appreciation, not harm or benefit. It is politeness, respect, and
appreciation for the fact that we are entitled to have absolute
control of our own art. The beginning and end of the issue is
Permission. When you want to use somebody's property you ask.

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Licenses, cover versions & film synch rights
FILM SYNCH RIGHTS
We will need to see a synopsis of the film before giving our
artistic blessing. Send this to the Directors of Ubu Projex.

We require you to master from a redbook CDR which we provide

at your expense; we do not allow you to master from any other
sound source (specifically not from any commercially available
records).

You must acquire the proper permissions. In practice someone

based in North America only needs to contact the North American
publisher & record company even if ROW permission is also
needed. Likewise, someone based outside North America only
needs to contact the ex-North American publisher & record
company even if North American permission is also needed. In all
cases you must also contact the Directors. Most of our catalog is
published by Bug Music. Most of the historical period songs
(approx 1975-1980) are published by EMI Music or Bug Music,
depending on the territory. Bug provides a licensing page.

PUBLISHING PERMISSIONS
Most of our catalog is published by Bug Music. Most of the
historical period songs (approx 1975-1980) are published by EMI
Music or Bug Music, depending on the territory. Bug has a FAQ
page that answers most questions. Bug also provides a licensing
page.

If you are a band wanting our permission to record a cover

version we are pleased you want to do so and as long as you pay
royalties we are delighted if you just go ahead and do it without
contacting us about it. It would be nice if you sent us a copy.
Contact the Directors of Ubu Projex for a mailing address. It would
also be nice if you got the words right. Please check the lyrics.

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In-Store Appearances

Please note the following guidelines for in-stores. These are not
meant to discourage in-stores, simply to ensure that they're
successful as well as being enjoyable for all concerned.

Definitions:

* IN-STORE means band members make an announced

appearance at a record store.
* MEET & GREET means band members make private
appearances.
Note that Pere Ubu does not always do in-store performances as
a full band.

1. Please remember that all in-store appearances must be

approved in advance.

2. Mr Thomas gets nervous when the record store owner /

manager offers free cds or merchandise. Should the record store
want to make a gift the transaction shall be handled by a third
party (the Record Company rep). The third party shall approach
Mr Thomas discreetly, describing what gift is offered. Mr Thomas
will then okay a formal presentation at which brief, formal
speeches of presentation and acceptance are made.

3. The Record Company representative must do the following:

* Immediately on arrival introduce Mr Thomas to as many

people as possible, pointing out interesting facts & aiding the flow
of conversation. Do not let Mr Thomas stand around like a lemon.
* IN-STORE ONLY: As soon as possible Mr Thomas must be
guided to a chair from which he may play his accordion &
dominate the immediate space in an absolutist manner.
* Mr Thomas should not be referred to as Dave or touched in
an overly familiar way. His name is David. Shaking hands is all the
physical contact that should be needed.

4. The record store MUST NOT play any Pere Ubu recordings for
the duration of Mr Thomas' visit. It is simply too embarrassing,
draws undue attention to his presence & most importantly forces
him to withdraw into a protective shell of weird
uncommunicativeness. This is not desirable.

5. Please remember that the first 30 seconds of arrival in-store

sets the tone for the entire episode. If Mr Thomas is allowed to
slip into an Outcast Lemon Mode you will have an unsatisfactory
experience. INTRODUCE HIM. ENCOURAGE CONVERSATION. TAKE
UP ANY SLACK. If you know a fan who wants to meet him then by
all means introduce them. Mr Thomas prefers civilians. He wants
to be approached. He wants to talk in these circumstances since
that's what the gig is.

Mr Thomas can be the most charming & exciting personality if

very simple steps are taken to avoid awkwardness. Once he gets
rolling there are no problems, you can sit back, relax & observe a
professional smarming his way into the hearts of all around him.
The initial stages, however, are critical. Keep in mind that Mr
Thomas undertakes these events as a performance.

MEET & GREETs are not a problem because of the informal nature
of the event.

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Press Tour Protocols

David Thomas's hotel requirement while on the road doing promo

& performances of any kind is:

1. A large bed with headrest (European note: beds must NOT

have footboards) in a comfortable, CLEAN & NICE air conditioned
room with en suite TV, phone, bathroom & toilet with a decent
breakfast in the morning in a friendly, reasonably quiet hotel
situated somewhere sensible; the room MUST have a telephone,
preferably with a modem jack or with a modem friendly
configuration. Less than this and you're asking for trouble &
inferior returns. Especially so if the room is not clean.

2. Per diems should not be less than £20 in Europe and $30 in
the US with all meals provided on top. PDs must be paid in full for
all days or part days away from home.

3. All road expenses must be either paid for by the record

company rep on the spot or reimbursed promptly after the end of
the trip. If David or Ubu Projex is meant to float any such road
expenses the details must be agreed in advance with the
Directors of Ubu Projex.

4. If any other band member goes on the road as well then they
must be treated identically.

David works hard to make these trips successful. He doesn't get

paid any extra for them and he expects to be treated well on the
road so the experience is enjoyable and civilized and not
unnecessarily tiring.
Please ensure that the Directors of Ubu Projex have the names,
phones and faxes of all David's hotels on promo trips at least a
week in advance. The fax number is essential.

Photographs
David must be warned if a photograph session is on the cards.
See the separate set of Photo protocols. Very important.

Radio Appearances/Interviews
The local record rep must provide a compact disk copy of the
album for radio play, NOT a cassette, and must inform the dj of
any local appearances that David Thomas or Pere Ubu will be
making. David is embarrassed by self-promotion and will not do it
so it is the local rep's responsibility to ask the dj to plug any
concert appearances and to provide details of such appearances
to the dj ahead of time. David will become irritated if he has to do
this himself.

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Benefit Concerts

In general we decline benefit requests unless they are for friends

or personal acquaintances. We would never do one for an
institution. We donate concert appearances. This allows us to
give of our best. We generally decline requests for unreleased
tracks. We don't produce out-takes or alternate mixes, nor do we
keep back anything of quality that we don't eventually release.
Without intending to, such requests, effectively, ask us to donate
something inferior only so that our name attracts fans to buy the
record. This is an unfair transaction, as far we're concerned, and
means that we do not give of our best.

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Sending Tapes

>I would like to send you a tape with my music. I am curious

what
>you'd think of it.

David replies: I don't want to give out opinions. I don't want to be

under obligation. I'd rather not hear 8 things that are wonderful
than to have to say something nice about one thing that I find
detestable. Odds are I won't listen in any case or if I do that I
won't remember anything about the experience. I won't return
the tape or cd even if you send postage. If you still want to send
a tape under these conditions then do so to:

Hearpen
PO Box 4
Utica PA 16362
USA

Don't ask for a response & don't hope for one.

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Leaving The Tour Protocols

If you "leave the tour" you are responsible for all costs incurred
from the point that you leave the tour til the point that you return
to the tour. This includes costs incurred that would normally and
reasonably be paid by the tour account.

Example A: There are 3 off days and the tour is in Chicago. You
decide to visit your mom in St Louis. You are responsible for your
own accommodation and travel expenses. Furthermore, if you are
late getting back, through no fault of your own, and we miss a
show, you are responsible, in theory, for lost revenue and/or
penalties.

If you plan ahead with the tour manager and it can be arranged
without adding cost to the tour budget then you can be
reimbursed for any actual, receipted hotel costs you incurred up
to the amount the tour account allocated had you stayed with the
tour.

Example B: You decide to stay on in Europe after a tour. The

return of your equipment becomes your responsibility and costs
incurred beyond what the tour account would expect to pay are
your responsibility.

The above notwithstanding, we will still do what we can (within

reason!) to help with post tour travel arrangements, the crucial
point is that after the end of the tour there is no tour manager
and you are therefore responsible for making sure that the
arrangements work. Any help we give is on a good intentions
basis, meaning we'll try to help but if things screw up there's no
comeback on us

Example C: You leave the tour and make arrangements to meet

the band in Barcelona. On the way to Barcelona the tour bus
loses its brakes crossing the Yugoslav mountains. The gig has to
be canceled. You are then responsible for rejoining the tour which
has now diverted to Udine. Why? Because if you hadn't left the
tour you'd be in Udine with the rest of us.

Example D: You arrange to meet the band in Harwich onboard the

ferry to Stockholm. The band is late and misses the ferry. You are
on the ferry and YOU are responsible. Why? Because if you hadn't
left the tour you'd be with the band driving down to Dover and
insanely across Europe in a frantic effort to make the gig.

Read the novel Catch 22 for a full understanding of the principles

involved.

Leaving the tour causes anxiety whatever happens and potential

loss for the tour if something goes wrong. We will not discourage
the activity but it becomes your problem in all facets.

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Studio Accounts

1. Band policy is that each person is responsible for his/her own

equipment, period. This policy is not arbitrary but has deep roots
in the structure of the organization, why we do things, etc. Along
the way, we introduced a "Strings & Skins Supplement" where
tour budgets or recording budgets will wear it. It is a supplement
at a flat rate. It is not meant to cover the cost or to be a
reimbursement. It is a distribution to all members to aid in the
cost of supplies.
2. Per diems for studio & rehearsal sessions: For out-of-towners
per diems are at the base rate, for in-towners they are at half the
base rate.

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Insurance
1) Insurance for instruments & personal belongings is the sole
responsibility of the individual.

* THIS PROVISION HAS BEEN SUSPENDED (8/25/6). Ubu Projex

will arrange this for anyone who wants it at a competitive rate on
the Ubu Projex company policy. This is outside the tour budget.
The cost of insurance will be deducted from monies due you.
* If you are not insured and someone half inches your
instrument in darkest Bavaria it is your hard luck and Ubu Projex
is not bound to help out.
* The same applies to road damage and the like (ie: the crew
are to do their best to look after the gear but if your instrument
isn't properly cased it's at your risk). Irreplaceable gear should
always be secured overnight. It is your responsibility to confirm
that this is the case.

2) When possible, Travel Insurance supplement will be paid based

on the rate for a year's cover as available in the UK.

* The amount paid will be pro-rated according to the number of

weeks an individual works on Ubu tour & recording projex in a
calendar year versus the total number of Ubu work weeks
scheduled in that calendar year.
* It is your responsibility to arrange your own travel insurance,
to cover sickness and accident, etc. If you're not insured and you
fall ill on tour then you're solely responsible for any medical costs
and extra travel costs, etc.

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Games & Driving

1. All games are based on The Price Is Right rules.

2. All traffic tickets for moving violations are the sole

responsibility of the driver. Parking tickets are the sole
responsibility of the driver unless he is simply following orders.

Small Town Cop Override: You are driving thru the no man's land
between Croatia and Serbia. You are stopped by a Croatian Police
road check who insist you passed another vehicle on a bridge
which is a very serious offense in Croatia according to the Traffic
Code brandished in your face. You look back. There is nothing
that a reasonable person would define as a "bridge." You look
ahead. You see the UN checkpoint and the fact that this is the last
chance they have to punish you for wanting to go to Serbia.
Ruling: Driver is not responsible.

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Tour Accounts Procedures
dated 11/13/88, amended 09/07/95 & 7/3/97 & 8/25/6

PAYMENTS

1. In principle, & as a goal, roadie/soundman per diems will be

paid by the week & in advance each Sunday.

2. Payment of roadie/soundman wages on a regular & weekly

basis is the goal. Sunday will be payday for the week passed.
Cash flow undoubtedly will determine the practicality of this plan.

3. Payment of advances on salary, if weekly wage payments are

up to date, will be paid only if it's convenient for Accounts.

4. Floats are to be reconciled weekly.

5. Per diems for band members will be paid regularly if cash

flow permits. Band members are expected, however, to be self-
financing for the first few dates of the tour and should equip
themselves with sufficient funds and currency to manage their
own financial needs for several days.

DEPARTURES

1. Each person is responsible for his own hotel 'extras'

(personal telephone charges, room service, etc.), including any
bills normally reimbursed from Accounts. Extras should be paid at
least 30 minutes before departure time to allow the Road
Manager to settle up the group's hotel account with a minimum
of confusion.

2. If the bus departure time from the hotel is set for 9 am this
means that all musicians & road personnel should on the bus for
that time. Paying extras, eating breakfast, all things must be
accomplished before that time.
 3. When flying with the entire band & equipment, check-in
times at the airport are as follows: no later than two hours for
international flights, and 90 minutes for domestic flights.

4. It is the individual's responsibility to know departure times

and showtimes.

REIMBURSEMENTS

1. A single invoice must not demand reimbursement from more

than one project and each demand must be clearly identified as
to which project it's being directed.

2. Receipts must be submitted. It is the responsibility of the

individual to obtain receipts. You will not be reimbursed without
one.

ON TOUR

1. In cases where record companies are paying tour support

wages then payment is based on a seven day week. Partial weeks
are paid according to the formula: x/7 multiplied by the weekly
fee. The first day of the first week begins the authorized day of
departure from place of residence. The last day of the last full or
partial week paid is the day of return to place of residence
according to the Tour Schedule.

2. If a musician or road technician leaves the tour all

travel/hotel costs incurred by that individual during such time are
the sole responsibility of that individual. This includes any & all
costs incurred because of unexpected changes in the tour
itinerary, cancellations, breakdowns, etc. Leaving the tour means
the making of independent travel or accommodation plans. See
the specific protocol.

If a musician or road technician joins an Ubu tour from

another tour, or leaves an Ubu tour for another tour, then only
half the relevant travel costs are payable by Ubu Projex. The
same principle applies to recording sessions. In no case will Ubu
Projex pay travel costs exceeding the amount it would have paid
had such individual traveled to or from his place of residence.
 For the purposes of Ubu Accounts a person is allowed only
one place of residence.
3. Each tour has a Budget Currency. (As a rule, the English
pound is the currency for Europe and the dollar for the USA.)
Tours are budgeted using Budget Exchange Rates for foreign
currency conversions to the Budget Currency.

The Exchange Rate is the rate at which foreign currency is

actually converted to Budget Currency. It is related to the Tourist
Rate.

The Bank Rate is the real value of the currency as determined

by international money markets.

The Budget Exchange Rate is based on the Exchange Rate

but it is set on a best-guess basis at the time the tour budget is
worked out. It is the rate at which crew or musicians who are
working on a fee-basis agree to be paid regardless of what
happens to the Bank Rate or Exchange Rate.
4. Where possible wages are paid in the Home Currency of the
recipient. Home Currency payments are always made using the
Bank Rate.

5. Per diem payments are made using the tourist rate.

6. Wages paid on the road in foreign currencies are at the

Budget Exchange Rate.

7. The Tour Accountant is not responsible for providing local

currencies for personal needs. This is the sole responsibility of the
individual. From time to time he may offer the service as a matter
of convenience.

Ubu Projex will happily convert pounds to $s at the best

possible rate (it's always better to do this in London and not in
the US!) on the last day of the tour - but it is your responsibility to
co-ordinate this with UP. Very important: Avoid exchanging any
foreign currency in the US.

Avoid having excesses of non pounds (francs and marks etc)

as you lose on the exchange rate if you convert in London to $s.
Most coins are NOT exchangeable.

Often the best idea is to exchange pocket money at borders.

This is the only guaranteed place to exchange coins. Avoid double
exchanges. If you're on the German side of the German-Danish
border and you want to exchange krone for Belgian francs then
the border bank will first exchange it to dmarks and then the
dmarks to Belgian francs, taking a commission each time.

Addendum dated 09/08/95...

At 12:32 pm 9/7/95, MR STEVEN A MEHLMAN wrote:

>what are floats?

A float is a chunk of money put into someone's care for the

purpose of paying expenses. For example: two vehicles. Tour
manager in one, road crew or band member in the other, each
has a float to take care of expenses. At the end of a period of
time, accounts are settled. Receipts and balance of cash handed
over.

>you mentioned cabs, are we really to be reimbursed. for cabs?

If you are instructed to take a cab for the purposes of the tour,
then, yes. Personal use for convenience, no.

>what can we be reimbursed. for?

Authorized expenses that involve the function of the tour is the

short answer.

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Per Diems

A PD protocol question:

Band member travels to a show a few days before show and

returns a few days after show, under his/her own steam, as they
have friends to stay with in that town. Do we pay them a PD for
only the day of the show? Or do we pay them for their travel
days, equal to the other band members?
If he's going to the town just because of our show then he should
be paid per diems for the working time plus 2 travel days -
staying over for tourism or any nonwork reason is irrelevant.

If he's combining the trip with other work then he should be paid
ONE travel day per diem and NOT TWO and the cost of his work
permit should be split between the two works (though if he
wouldn't have got a work permit for his other work then I don't
think we should charge him a share of the work permit costs).

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Penny/Pound Principle
Quote from DIRECTOR'S MEETING January 6 1990:

The Penny/Pound Principle is the non-negotiable bottom line.

* If an Ubu musician, partner or not, expects equal footing with

other Ubu musicians he must be prepared to take the good with
the bad. If he expects to be offered any & all Ubu work he must
make himself exclusively available for any & all Ubu work.
* Once an Ubu musician, partner or not, makes himself
unavailable for Ubu work he is liable to be replaced with no
guarantee or assured expectation of reinstatement.

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Crossing The Line

A band member "crosses the line" when he/she threatens the

integrity of the band because of an attitude or course of action.
When a member crosses the line they become poison in the
system that must be purged immediately. One Rule is non-
negotiable and inviolate: The Penny/Pound Principle.

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Availability & questions of Ubu Time
Letter dated JAN 15 1990

1. Ubu was reformed on a project year basis. (A project year is

longer than 12 months.) A project year is determined by an lp
lifetime which in practice seems to begin with the actual studio
recording (the point at which money comes due from a record
company) and end with the last required group work in support of
the lp. During a project year a band member keeps himself
available for Ubu work. At the end of a project year a member
can choose to not re-up.

2. In practice, members consult with the Directors of Ubu Projex &

so far as possible mutually agreed schedules are arrived at. It has
been clearly stated & accepted that the onus is with the
individual member to clear his schedule with the Directors of Ubu
Projex before committing to personal work. If necessary,
members are left out of sub-projects when scheduling conflicts
arise & the promotional or business opportunity available is
judged to be too important to pass up.

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Basics

1. No expense for the production of tour itineraries is

reimbursable beyond basic printing on ordinary paper, basic
binding (if staples won't do), and postage. No color or fancy stuff
will be reimbursed. We're not children to be amused by bright
colors.

2. Pre-paid phone cards are not reimburseable.

3. You must have a watch, pocket or wrist. Truck Time is official

tour time. The truck is our only friend.

4. The way on is the way off. If circumstance require that we

have to walk onto the stage from the audience we will walk off
the stage thru the audience. We will not hide in a cupboard off-
stage waiting on the silly encore ritual.

5. All musicians should be in the dressing room 30 minutes

before showtime. Road manager announces stage clear at which
point Ubus do final instrument checks and then report back to the
dressing room. 5 minute marks start at 15 minutes to show.
Soundman reports Good to go at 3 minutes to show and leaves
with an encouraging word. Road manager reports Good to go at
the 90 second mark and disappears. Musicians gather at stage
entry point at 30 seconds to show.
Back to the Top
Rituals

1. Pere Ubu shows up on time. We expect everyone else to be on

time. No, no... wait, we're not anywhere near that reasonable.
Pere Ubu shows up ahead of time. If you show up ON TIME you're
already late as far as we're concerned.

2. The sole function of an opening act is to start on time and to

stop on time. Period. Do NOT book Pere Ubu unless you agree to
this. When Pere Ubu is an opening act we start on time, we stop
on time, and we don't do an encore. We don't expect to get a
soundcheck and we don't expect to get to do a full show. Those
are the rules by which rock music functions. Do not try to change
them. You are not a musician and you have no rights in this
matter. Mr Thomas in particular is very sensitive to time.

NB. If Ubu is appearing in a festival, or in a non-headline capacity,

we will NOT do an encore no matter what unless the duly-
authorized stage manager tells us face to face. In the past this
has led to upset when we have refused to go out again without
this specific authorization. We play by the rules beyond the point
of sanity. We expect others to do the same.

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Lights

* We are always happy when the lights are simply set, focused,
turned on and left alone during the show.
* Overhead lights should be focused on the center mic and
bass player positions. We need to read notes.
* Mr Thomas does not like flashing lights. Light scenes can shift
but avoid flashing.
* No smoke-machines are to be used during our performance.
* Lighting should be theatrical rather than rockist. We are
interested in atmosphere, mood, drama, energy, subtlety,
imagination-- not rock cliche. Please do not use patterned gobos.
Mr Thomas finds patterned light routines to be particularly
offensive.
* Lights should be carefully focused on Mr Thomas and the
band & not directed at the audience. Please try to avoid
EXCESSIVE backlighting.
 * Lights must never fade to black between songs.
* Light comes mostly from above not from below. A handy tip
to keep in mind is that the sun is up.

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Trivia Questions

As for giveaways that's up to you. I never like them cuz I hate

giving stuff away so it depends on whether the promotional
advantage is worth promoting a welfare-state mentality within
the populace of the USA. That's a decision I leave to you... along
with its karmic load. Long ago we determined what trivia
questions are to be used for Pere Ubu giveaways. Choose one:

* Name two of General Lee's corps commanders at Gettysburg.

* Quote one of Henry David Thoreau's aphorisms.
* Name the author of this line: "Then I saw the Congo, creeping
through the black, cutting through the forest with a golden track."

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