Study: Half of kids admit to hurtful social networking

By Robin Erb, Detroit Free Press

Armed with cell phones and a dizzying array of social media choices, one-half of
middle- and high school students in a recent study admit to social media abuse from
bullying schoolmates to spreading rumors to pressuring others to send sexual texts or
pictures. They also admitted to stalking their partners. "It begins with the constant texting or
the stalking on Facebook. 'Where are you?' and 'Who are you with?' "said researcher Poco
Kernsmith, an associate professor of social work at Wayne State University.
What may seem like harmless teen jealousy can spiral into a dangerous relationship if
left unchecked, said Kernsmith, whose research has centered on violence in relationships. "It
becomes 'I don't want you to hang out with your friends,' and 'I don't like the way you dress.'
It becomes controlling and isolating. "Just 37% of the students said their parents monitored
their online behavior. It's a disconnect that maybe not surprisingly suggests teens let
loose more than their parents know. Additionally, social media misuse was higher in wealthier
districts very likely the result of more kids owning cell phones and other technology.
About 54% of youth in low-risk schools relatively wealthier schools in low-crime areas
had perpetrated electronic abuse, while 46% of youth in high-risk schools had done so.
Taylor Goodwin, 14, of Allen Park says she sees it all the time: relationship changes
and stalking that "cause all kinds of drama," online smack-talk that dissolves into personal
attacks, and "throwing shade" a sort of under-the-radar way of insulting and bullying. "So
you don't tag a person, and you don't name them, but everyone knows exactly who you're
talking about," said Goodwin, who recently wrote a paper for her English class at Davidson
Middle School on cyberbullying and suicide. "It's a loophole to bully someone without
(adults) finding out. ... It spreads around the school like wildfire," she said. Chad Gross, 18,
who graduated from Annapolis High School in Dearborn Heights, said he has seen online
trash-talking lead to physical fights. "It gets pretty nasty out there. ... Everyone feels
invincible behind a computer screen."Kernsmith a mother of a 9- and a 16-year-old
acknowledges teens must have privacy and autonomy. She doesn't keep round-the-clock
vigilance over her kids' social networks. But in these hormone-fueled tween and teen years,
impulsive moments on a touch screen last forever. Parents are likely missing teachable
moments about appropriate communications and healthy relationships, wanting so much to be
friends with their children that they're reluctant to set boundaries and limits, she said.
One student interviewed for the study described how her behavior would change if
her mother might check her social networking: "I have a filthy mouth, and I write filthy
things, so I would just monitor my mouth more, 'cause I know my mom would be all over me
like hotcakes. "The key, Kernsmith said, is to have the ability to monitor social networks and,
even more important, to keep open the lines of communication so that kids feel comfortable
to talk about their days, their thoughts and their concerns. "Teenagers have these squishy
little half-formed brains and I say that in the nicest way," she said, chuckling. "Their
executive functioning doesn't really completely develop until they're about 25. They have so
many hormones flooding through their bodies that making decisions under pressure is really
difficult. "They do stupid things. Teenagers have always done that. They just have different
tools now." Taylor Goodwin's mom, Melissa, a data entry specialist, strikes the balance this
way: Mom gets Taylor's passwords; Taylor gets her space. "I only go in there if I suspect
something is wrong," Melissa Goodwin said. "I try to give her her privacy. ... We have
conversations about what you can and can't do."
Kameron Franklin, a senior at the Detroit School of Arts is also a Planned Parenthood
Mid and South Michigan peer educator who will sit on a panel for parents April 25 sponsored

by the Farmington Hills-based Parent Action Network for Healthy Kids. It is called "What
Teens are REALLY Thinking (and Tweeting)!""I think that parents would be surprised to
know how deep and serious it is," she said of online abuse. Franklin said that one of her
friends had a deformity from a health condition. A mean-spirited rap was repeatedly shared
online; the girl tried to overdose on stolen pills. And it's not unusual, Franklin said, for
students to snap pictures of schoolmates and post the photos with rants that make fun of their
hair, their clothes or even how poor they are. Or they set up "expose pages," websites on
which students can post pictures that they think reveal classmates as promiscuous or ugly, for
example. "People get excited about seeing people exposed, knowing their business, being
humiliated. ... It can be a trend for months," she said. The solution? That's a tough one,
because kids need to learn from mistakes, said Franklin. Still, more conversation with adults
at school and more communication between parents and kids would help, she said. And
setting an example is critical. If parents post or share humiliating pictures or messages, their
children are simply following their example, Franklin said. "I see these things at school, and I
just want to ask 'Who's not teaching you that this isn't healthy?'
What's your kid up to?
A study of students' use of social media found that about half admitted to abusing
social media. The study, led by a Wayne State University researcher, drew from the responses
of 1,236 students in sixth and ninth grades at six metro Detroit high schools a mix of
high-, moderate- and low-risk schools when measured by crime statistics and poverty levels.
Other highlights:
About three-fourths of students had a cell phone. Slightly more than half had a smartphone.
84% had a computer in their home; 50% had their own computers.
78% of students texted at least once a day; 56% texted 10 or more times a day.
About 37% had checked up on a partner using technology; 16.3% had shared private or
embarrassing pictures with the intention of hurting someone, and 12.5% had repeatedly sent
out unwanted messages to someone.
5 reminders for your kids
If you're opening that conversation with kids or even offering reminders from
earlier talks about what's appropriate online and what's not, Wayne State University
researcher Poco Kernsmith suggests these five points.
Remember: Nothing is private online.
Remember: Nothing online can be taken back.
Be aware of pressure and coercion.
Consider the reaction and feelings of others.
Remember: Nothing is anonymous.