I remember thinking when I was younger, Maybe I only volunteered to play on the worship team

so I wasnt pressured to raise my hands during worship anymore.

There are those of us who are so tired of doing church. Sure, we may volunteer three times a
week and maybe even speak on stage from time to time, but is it real or just habit? Is it an
overflow of our heart, or simply a response to pressure?
Some of the most visible people in our community feel they are on the farthest edges of it. Some
of us are merely following religious orders, treating the Christian life dictated to us by friends and
leaders as an instruction booklet on loving Jesus. In a sense weve been good Christian
soldiers, but unlike good soldiers weve been following commands our whole life without
desiring to obey. Were asking ourselves why were still following. What is keeping us from
deserting?
We find ourselves saying, The Christian things to do seem to have life-altering effects for
everyone but me. Church services are emptying me more than filling me. Why can others learn
from their bible everyday, but for me its empty? Why have I never been able to pray for more
than five minutes? This all just seems so pointless. This group includes the casual church
attender but is also full of pastors kids and worship musicians.
I used to identify with this group. At times I put on the face of a blossoming and good Christian,
while feeling like one with hollow and dying roots. I was acting out the Christian response
without the heart that is supposed to lead to it. I had done my good deeds out of a desire to
sanctify myself and please the Christians around me, and when I was empty and finally wanted
a fresh start, I didnt know where to begin. When I finally desired to be an authentic believer,
everything I had been told looked like Christian devotion felt empty. I could only look at bible
reading, prayer and worship services through the lens of the emptiness they had filled me with in
the past. It felt like I was spiritually depressed and the Christian-prescription would only make
me more numb.
Will we choose to have grace for these people? Will we boldly step into awkward conversation
with our friend that is tired of church? What about the person who has been acting like a
Christian their whole life yet admits to us that they still feel like a new believer?
This is one of the most countercultural epidemics among our family today. They are our brothers
and sisters yet some of them feel the most alone, because in a community like ours, this may be
one of the hardest things to admit to. As a Christian, admitting to being tired of church is harder
then admitting to a porn addiction or a self-image problem. It requires denying that the center of
Christian community feels like the center of their life. It may reveal one of the darkest corners of
their life that hides other hurt, sin, and mistakes. So let's work together to shine light on all of it.
If you struggle with this, step out in trust and admit it to someone. The healthiest place you can
be is in true honesty with yourself and those who love you and can support you.
Dont believe the lie that this will only let down your friends and family. Our God is one that looks

on you with grace, and his people are supposed to be about that to. This suffering will produce
endurance that will grow your character and give you a hope you can rejoice in; Romans chapter
five says there is no shame in that.
Stop faking your way through by trying to imitate a full heart that responds with Christian
devotion. Now is a time for you to pray that you would desire the things of God, or even that you
would desire to desire the things of God. When you have no heart, whatever you do, dont
imitate piety. Instead seek the heart that piety overflows from. Masking your brokenness with
false devotion is not solving your problems, its making acts of righteousness void. Its the kind of
life that causes scandal in the greatest Christian leaders. Stop throwing away your sanctification
by believing the lie that we all should have it together. There are no good Christians, we have all
failed at living the perfect life.
If you hear this person, start by listening. If you dont have answers or dont know how to phrase
them well, wait. What this person needs most is a good listener. They deserve grace and
patience, not rebuke and lists of doctrine. This is the last thing they want to admit to; show them
that you respect their honesty.
Lets be a community that can have grace for both the Christian cynic who has all the answers
and the worship leader who feels like they havent worshiped God in years. Lets be united by
having the eyes of Jesus for each other.