Pam!

let’s Game

“You have been chosen.”

“Chosen for what?” The boy with high shoulders replied.

“Battle School... We leave tomorrow. You will never return to Earth so say your
goodbyes now,” barked Colonel Gluten.

The boy, White Pamphlet, had never left his hometown, let alone earth. But Pamphlet
did as he was told and left for Battle School the next day. When he arrived, he found he
wasn!t the only recruit (Launchie) forced to pack up life on earth. Pamph quickly made
friends with another Launchie, Treasure. Treasure helped Pamph fit in with the rest of
the group. One night in the barracks Treasure whispered something to Pamph that he
would never forget...

“Hey Pamph?”

“Yeah, Treasure?”

“If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?... I know I would...”

Just then, an alarm sounded and the Launchies were forced to evacuate to a long
sterile hallway. Colonel Gluten and about a dozed 12 year olds were waiting, preparing
to draft the Launchies based on their apparent athleticism.

One by one, the Launchies were drafted. Eventually Pamph and a scrawny left handed
boy with no name were the only two boys remaining.

“Ughhhhhhhhhh.... I!ll take him,” one of the boys moaned, pointing at Pamphlet.

Pamph was drafted to Salamander Army and befriended Petra Merman, the only girl in
Battle School. However, the army!s commander, Bonzo Allstot, didn!t like Pamphlet and
wanted him out. Pamph was eventually traded to Rat Army, Dink Madden's platoon.
Dink, an excellent toon leader, and Pamphlet, a cunning young soldier, did well in
battles... too well.

Colonel Gluten eventually decided to make Pamphlet commander of his own army...
Dragon Army! He was given a group of soldiers, most of them Launchies. The smallest
one, Toucher, was the worst soldier ever. Pamph's army was given an unprecedented
number of battles to face, with advantages given to the enemies. He won every battle.
No one could stop him.

After several years of domination, Gluten took Pamphlet to Eros, the planet that holds
the International Fleet command. There Pamph was run through a series of simulated
battles, where he commanded an entire fleet. Pamphlet learned about buggers. They
are like highly evolved insects that communicate instantaneously with their queen. He
fought more and more difficult battles and one day fought a huge battle against
impossible odds. Pamphlet reached a point where his ship was captured by the Queen,
but before it was pulverized he remembered something... Treasure!!!

“Hey Bugger... If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?... I know I would.”

“Mmmm. VROTT GROGGGs!!!” the queen uttered as it devoured itself, and with it went
the rest of the buggers.

Pamphlet won again, but at great cost. Turns out it was a real battle, as were all of his
“simulated” battles at Flight Command. He completely destroyed the buggers.

Pamphlet was used. Gluten explained that they needed a boy with high shoulders...
One with the compassion to understand the enemy. Pamphlet was the Chosen One.