Hiremath Columns

BOOK OF COLUMNS
POETRY
AND
SHORT STORIES
_________________________
MANDAKINI M. HIREMATH
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Book of Columns, Poetry and Short Stories
Mandakini Hiremath
TO MY GRANDCHILDREN
LEELA
SHAILA
DEVAN
RAJAN
AND TO EVERY GENERATION WHO LOVE READING
I hope a variety of human interest readings presented in this book

educate, entertain, and help inspire the readers in their lifes aspirations.
*
A special bouquet of gratitude to
The late Dr. Howard Hill
For providing me invaluable encouragement to write and
relentlessly asking me to put my work in a collection.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Contents by Genre and Theme

Line Illustrations ..........................................................................13
Introduction ..................................................................................15
Section I
Creative Works of Art
A Variety of Columns
1. Self-respect is the key word ...............................................19
2. An element of chance: Long, bitter journey .....................21
3. Performing your duty .........................................................23
4. Life goes on .......................................................................25
5. Split the baby in nine .........................................................27
6. The sweet old days .............................................................29
7. American idle or idol? ..................................................31
8. Cell phone courtesy ...........................................................33
9. A world of autism ..............................................................35
10. Balance between positive and negative ...........................38
11. Choking game, deadly consequences ..............................40
12. If life offers you lemons...................................................42
13. Tell them that we lost Peter ...........................................44
14. Before the dawn ...............................................................46
15. The man who conned Oprah ............................................48
16. What really counts? .........................................................50
17. Figure skating reflections.................................................52
18. Better late than never .......................................................54
19. The dawn of July 1...........................................................56
20. Living life in 2000 A.D....................................................57
21. American soldier ..............................................................59
22. Did you hear? ...................................................................61
23. Perseverance, a character trait for October ......................63
24. Choosing your words .......................................................65
25. A drop in the bucket; its worth it ....................................67
26. An instant hero .................................................................70
27. 2004 ice storm -- plane crash in Andes............................72
28. Times surely have changed ..............................................76
29. Living clean .....................................................................78
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30. Feedback means a lot to writers .......................................80

31. The Blue Moon ................................................................83
32. Honor & integrity.............................................................85
33. Buckle in with a bit of a grin
Surviving through persistence..........................................87
34. Hug your children tight ....................................................89
35. Hope and endurance.........................................................92
36. Blessed or cursed?
Lessons from the life of Andre the Giant.........................95
37. Decreasing daylight brings the SAD days .......................98
38. Enough already! ............................................................100
39. Dreams and ambitions .....................................................103
40. Honesty, a character trait .................................................105
41. Things fall apart ...............................................................107
42. The importance of being lazy ..........................................109
43. Keep believing in yourself ...............................................111
44. Bike Man..........................................................................113
45. The lingering sadness (A ray of hope) .............................115
46. Simple things ...................................................................117
47. The precious gift of life ...................................................119
48. Class of 2021 ...................................................................121
49. The most expensive sari ...................................................123
50. Self-respect earned, deserved ..........................................125
51. Man plans, God laughs ....................................................127
52. Life is truly what you make of it......................................129
53. Happy Halloween ............................................................131
54. Time to relish in simple pleasures ...................................133
55. Curious case of Benjamin Button ....................................135
56. The way of the world .......................................................137
57. Learning never ends .........................................................139
58. Pick me up moment: a success story ..............................141
59. Stand as an untouchable ...................................................143
60. Waking up: one of those days .........................................145
61. Identifying the solution ....................................................147
62. Turn off the television......................................................150
63. Finding solace in humanly possible way .........................152
64. Do you want to be that person? .......................................154
65. In the blink of an eye .......................................................156
66. A little complaining is good.............................................159
67. Empty nest .......................................................................161
68. Forgiveness ......................................................................163
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69. Growth is evidence of life ................................................165

70. Conscience, a soft pillow .................................................168
71. Money, a root of all evils? ...............................................170
72. Lessons from Noahs Ark ................................................173
73. Blessing in disguise? ........................................................176
74. Old man winter ................................................................178
75. Respect earned and deserved ...........................................180
76. Work and worship ............................................................182
77. Something about memorials ............................................184
78. 2017, something to think about........................................186
79. Living healthier and longer ..............................................189
80. Stress relief .....................................................................191
81. Caring...............................................................................193
82. Life, a sexually transmitted disease? ..............................195
A Variety of Poems
1. How I Wish I Could ............................................................ 198
2. Eternal Whole ..................................................................... 203
3. Do I Wish? A mothers plea .............................................. 205
4. My Heavenly Father! Bless Me .......................................... 211
5. In Loving Memory of Mulesh M. ...................................... 213
6. Enlightened ......................................................................... 220
7. Hearty Congratulations ....................................................... 223
8. Confused ............................................................................. 225
9. I Never Had an Affair with You ......................................... 227
10. My Sincere Apology ......................................................... 230
11. I am ................................................................................... 232
12. I Wonder ........................................................................... 233
13. I am Afraid! ...................................................................... 234
14. On the Top of the World ................................................... 236
15. In Pursuit of Happiness ..................................................... 237
16. Happy Birthday to Dr. Andrew Koli ................................ 240
17. A Prayer for Baby Rajan ................................................... 241
18. Wishing happy birthday, precious Rajan .......................... 242
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Section II
Seasonal Columns
New Years
1. The richest man in the world, New Year, 2014 .................. 244
2. Happy New Year, 2010 ...................................................... 246
3. Making others happy in 2009 ............................................. 248
4. Happy New Year, 2008 ...................................................... 250
5. Call it New Days resolution, 2008 .................................. 253
6. Let the waves go over, 2007 ............................................... 255
7. New Year be filled with bliss, 2006 ................................... 257
8. Happiness put on hold, 2006............................................... 259
9. Today, a ready cash, 2005 .................................................. 261
10. Best of luck on resolutions, 2003...................................... 263
Valentines Day
1. Valentine's Day: No need to fret ........................................ 266
2. Wildest woe and sweetest joy ............................................. 268
3. Beautiful torture, loving nightmare .................................... 270
4. A wedding vow with substance:
Coretta Kings enduring love an example to all ............... 272
5. Love, a thing of beauty ....................................................... 275
6. Handcuffed to his wedding vows........................................ 277
7. Lesson to Valentines Day scrooge .................................... 279
8. The holy matrimony............................................................ 281
9. A tale of fate ....................................................................... 283
10. Monumental love .............................................................. 285
11. For better or for worse.................................................... 288
12. Tucson tragedy, a unique love saga .................................. 291
13. Love, an age-old story ...................................................... 293
Easter
1. Easter marks resurrection of Jesus ...................................... 297
2. Crucifix, not a symbol of death .......................................... 299
3. Easter is resurrection for all ................................................ 302
4. Jesus, a meek Lamb? ......................................................... 304
5. Birth, the messenger of death ............................................. 307
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6. Judas, so-called villain ........................................................ 309

7. Walking in the footsteps of Jesus ....................................... 312
8. Upholding the Dancer while dancing the dance ................. 316
9. Return of The Prodigal Son.............................................. 318
10. No glory in death .............................................................. 322
11. Easter, a time for new life ................................................. 325
Commencement Day
1. Perseverance is key word 329
2. A word about family... 331
3. Never give up nor give in 333
4. Perseverance, a key to success 335
5. Walk humbly in the Lord Almightys grace... 337
6. Reviving the right to fail. 340
7. Light a candle rather than curse the darkness. 342
8. Stay hungry! Stay foolish!................................................. 345
9. An aim of education 348
10. The tassel.. 351
11. Being a 'real' hero.. 353
12. Be happy! Be successful!................................................. 356
13. It is all about you... 359
14. It is all about attitude. 362
15. The Captain of the Pequod -- part I 366
16. The Captain of Claflin University part II... 369
Baccalaureate reflection:
Weather the storms of life ................................................. 373
So go out and stain the world with your ability ............ 376
Mothers Day
1. Let us salute all mothers ..................................................... 380
2. Honoring mothers ............................................................... 382
3. Honoring mothers: Mother, a magnet ................................ 384
4. Mothers are unsung heroes ................................................. 386
5. The hand that rocks the cradle ............................................ 388
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Fathers Day
1. In world of movers, shakers, his father remains the hero ... 392
2. The only father your children have ..................................... 395
3. The enduring value of fathers ............................................. 398
4. Learning to be a father ........................................................ 400
5. Sgt. Charles King, a prudent father..................................... 403
Summer Vacation
1. Easing into summer vacation .............................................. 406
2. Summer vacation -- a boredom ........................................... 408
3. The challenge of summer vacation ..................................... 410
4. Encourage your child to write ............................................. 412
5. Surviving summer ............................................................... 414
Back to School
1. The time to resume our duties............................................ 416
Behavioral ethics: Back to college five-part series
2. #1 Back to campus .............................................................. 418
3. #2 Back to college: Good health at the top of the agenda . 420
4. #3 Stupid behavior has terrible consequences ................. 422
5. #4 Keys open door to college success ................................ 424
6. #5 Building healthy self-esteem ......................................... 427
7. Return to structured schedule ............................................. 428
Matriculation Day
1. The class of 9/11 and what really happened to the
class of 65? ...................................................................... 432
2. Be prepared to move with the cheese ................................. 435
3. Stand to make a positive difference .................................... 437
4. Life is all about choices we make ....................................... 440
Gov. Mark Sanfords address at commencement, 2006
in a three-part series of columns
5. Part I - Governor Sanfords challenge to graduates ............ 443
6. Part II - Live your dream, follow your dream..................... 445
7. Part III - Focus on your dream and beyond ..................... 447
8. New beginning 450
9. Aim to be successful... 452
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10. Prefer to be a skeptic. 454

11. Is college necessary for all?.............................................. 456
12. You cant be anything you want to be...............................458
September 11, 2001

1. The 4th anniversary of 9/ 11 reflection, 2005 ...................... 461
2. September 11, 2001, a day in my life, 2006 ....................... 463
3. The 5th anniversary of 9/ 11 reflections, 2006 .................... 465
4. Depth of horror and height of heroism, 2007 ..................... 467
5. Reflection on sad, good and ugly, 2008.............................. 470
6. September 11, 2001: A triumph of humanity, 2009 .......... 474
Election and Politics

1. In hopes of better tomorrows, election Nov., 2004 ............ 478
2. Hats off to New Jersey Governor, June, 2007 .................... 480
3. Prepare to vote, October, 2008 ........................................... 482
4. Get out and vote, election Nov., 2008 ................................ 484
5. Serving for the greater good, August, 2009 ........................ 486
6. Matters of the hearts, February, 2010 ................................. 488
7. Barack Obama, a superman? Election Nov., 2012 ............. 491
Faith and Festivals

Dashera
1. Hindu festivals celebrate victory of goodness over evil ..... 495
2. Navaratri celebrates spiritual progress ................................ 498
3. Hindus Dashera, a time of brightness ................................ 500
4. Hindus worship goddess of divine power ........................... 502
5. Dashera represents the victory of righteousness over evil.. 504
6. Navaratri, the spiritual significance .................................... 506
Deepavali
1. Hindu festival of lights celebrates good over evil .............. 508
2. Deepavali
spiritual journey towards lights,
Hindus celebrate New Year .............................................. 510
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3. Deepavali, kindle a lamp of love with your life ................. 512

4. Deepavali -- from darkness to light .................................... 515
5. Deepavali -- the festival of lights ........................................ 516
6. Deepavali a deeper insight ............................................... 518
Various Festivals and Spiritual Columns

1. Generating fresh waves of spirituality ................................ 520
2. Austerity -- Gateway to spirituality .................................... 522
3. Vedic culture celebrates the festival
of sibling love, protection ................................................. 524
4. Makara Sankranti, a radical change .................................... 526
5. Why Krishna is inseparable of Radha................................. 528
6. Spiritual women of India .................................................... 530
7. Krishna and his divine flute ................................................ 536
8. Maha Shivaratri, the great night of Shiva ........................... 538
9. Holi, Festival of Colors ....................................................... 541
Thanksgiving Day
1. Are we truly thankful for the unique gift of life? 2002 ...... 544
2. Appreciating the unique gift of life, 2003........................... 546
3. Be thankful for every little perk, 2004 ................................ 548
4. Thanksgiving: Be thankful for what? 2005 ....................... 550
5. The majestic gift of life, 2006 ............................................. 552
6. Count our blessings thankfully, 2007 ................................. 553
7. Learning to be thankful, 2008 ............................................. 557
8. Part I - Lets count our blessings, 2009 .............................. 559
9. Part II - The rest of the story, 2009 ..................................... 562
10. Learning to count our blessings, 2010 .............................. 564
11. Each day a Thanksgiving, 2010 ........................................ 566
12. Say, "Thank you", 2011 .................................................... 568
13. Relish life's pleasures, be thankful, 2012 .......................... 571
14. Thankful No matter what, 2013 ..................................... 574
15. Be thankful with each sunrise, 2014 ................................. 577
Christmas
1. Stressed, lonely: Holiday leftovers ..................................... 581
2. Make your holidays stress free ........................................... 583
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Mandakini Hiremath
3. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

Christmas, season of hope ................................................ 585
4. Sleigh bells ring: Was John Pierpont a failure? ................. 587
5. Black-eyed peas and collard greens .................................... 589
6. What difference does it make?............................................ 591
7. Happy, holy holidays .......................................................... 593
8. Spirit of Christmas Season.................................................. 595
9. Christmas, the season for giving ......................................... 597
10. Homes for the Holidays:
Warrick Dunn honors his mothers memory. 600
11. Santa Claus spreads his wealth..602
12. Remembering those who make a difference. 605
13. Lets make our holidays meaningful. 607
14. Feeling gratified by giving 609
The Royals and Birthdays

1. Love is patient: The diamond-wedding anniversary.......... 612
2. A royal marriage - The wedding ......................................... 615
3. Something in common ........................................................ 617
4. I wish................................................................................... 619
5. Birthdays ............................................................................. 621
6. Let wedding bells ring for royals ........................................ 623
7. You are as young as ............................................................ 625
8. Born on the 13th? ................................................................ 628
Section III
Movies and Books
Movies
1. From Homeless to Harvard ................................................. 631
2. The Trip to Bountiful .......................................................... 633
3. A Tale of Fate ..................................................................... 637
4. Happily Ever After.............................................................. 639
5. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans ................................... 641
6. A Life of Content: Lilies of the Field ................................ 643
7. Real-life story behind 'Conviction' ..................................... 646
8. The Party Never Stops ........................................................ 648
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Books
1. Things Fall Apart ................................................................ 650
2. Their Eyes Were Watching God ......................................... 652
3. A Beautiful Mind ................................................................ 655
4. The Concubine .................................................................... 658
5. Who Moved My Cheese? ................................................... 662
6. Crick Crack, Monkey.......................................................... 665
7. Our Iceberg Is Melting ........................................................ 669
8. Outliers: The Story of Success........................................... 672
Section IV
Short Stories
Confused ....................................................................................... 676
Rama and Sita, star-crossed lovers?.............................................. 683
Section V
Saying Goodbye
1. Wishing Dr. Hill a fruitful retirement, June 2005............... 689
2. Dear Askia, goodbye, November 2007 ............................... 691
3. Remembering Dr. Robert Thomas, Fall 2008..................... 694
4. Goodbye, Jaya Lakshmi, March 2008 ................................ 696
5. Saying goodbye to Dr. Syed Hassan, April 2009 ............... 698
6. Remembering Dr. Julian Williams, July 2011 .................... 701
7. Something about life, farewell to Vasu Swami, May 2012 ... 703
8. Rest in peace, Dr. Howard Hill, October 2013 ................... 705
9. Tribute to Dr. Oscar A. Rogers, July 2011 ......................... 707
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Line Illustration
Section I
A Variety of Columns
A Variety of Poems
pages 19 - 196
pages 198 - 243
Section II
Seasonal Columns
New Years
Valentines Day
Easter
Commencement Day
Mothers Day
Fathers Day
Summer Vacation Back to School
Matriculation Day
September 11, 2001
Election and Politics
pages 244 - 264

pages 266 - 295
pages 297 - 327
pages 329 - 378
pages 380- 390
pages 392 - 404
pages 406 - 430
pages 432 - 459
pages 461 - 476
pages 478 - 493
Faith and Festivals

Dashera
Deepavali
Various Festivals and Spiritual Columns
Thanksgiving Day
Christmas
pages 495 - 507

pages 508 - 519
pages 520 - 542
pages 544 - 579
pages 581 - 610
The Royals and Birthdays
pages 612 - 629
Section III
Movies and Books
Movies
Books
pages 631 - 649

pages 650 - 674
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Section IV
Short Stories
pages 676 - 687
Section V
Saying Goodbye
pages 689 - 723
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Introduction
I was born and raised in quite a traditional family in India. As a girl back
home I lived a pretty sheltered, worry-free life. My dad was a lover of
education. He gladly let me further my studies. However, immediately after I
received my masters degree in English, I asked him if I might go to a law
school. His response was, Well, get married. If your husband and his family
dont mind, I will send you to study law.
I was then given away in marriage to another traditional family. Taking
care of the family and raising our children were my only major duties. My
husband decided to come to the United States to continue his doctoral
research. Two years later, I, along with our 5 and 3 years old children, joined
my husband. Like a fish out of the water, I missed home. However, very soon
I realized our scope of life, our contact with the outer world was widened, and
there was a lot to learn about. Then there was never a boring moment.
When my daughter was 11 and son 9, I joined Claflin University. I
facilitated the University Writing Center, housed in the English Department.
Claflin was the first place and the first time I independently stepped out of my
safe nest. As years went by, my son picked on me asking, "What are you
going to do, Mom, when I leave for Duke and Meena leaves for her doctoral
program? How are you going to deal with the 'empty nest' situation?"
My response: "As Winston Churchill says, 'the optimist sees the
opportunity in every difficulty.' I believe when one door closes, another
opens. When the time comes, I am sure God will show me the way. My faith
will make me well."
Nervous, I spent each summer with my children. My son graduated from
Duke University. And my daughter completed her studies. A little relieved, I
devoted my spare time to reading, researching, and eventually to freelance
writing on a variety of subjects. While observing my regular duties, I
produced the School of Humanities and Social Sciences Newsletter, a
periodical, 2001-2014. And during 2002-2014, as a columnist, I quite often
wrote OP/ED columns for The Times and Democrat, a daily local newspaper.
I considered myself very fortunate for working at Claflin. The culture there
generously allowed me to keep my originality, which helped heighten my
confidence in goodness. Thus, without inner conflict, I was able to view the
world and think and express my genuine thoughts freely while working with
my students and in my writings.
My columns were well received. Quite often I heard from the readers with
beautiful smiles that they always look forward to reading my next column.
Along with a variety of compliments, a few of the readers have mentioned me
that I am a serious writer and my thought processes in writing columns are a
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Mandakini Hiremath
trip, meaning I do or say unexpected things in a pleasant way and that is what
makes my columns a very interesting read. It is the kind of commendation that
fuels a writers desire to continue doing his or her best for an appreciative
audience.
Now, I am reaching a comfort zone; I retired in May 2014. God willing, I
would like to continue my research and writing moving on to the next level,
from columns to short stories and further.
I appreciate more than ever my own rich, deep-rooted, and familyorientated culture and traditions I was born and raised in. I consider myself
very fortunate for living in a foreign country and spending much of my adult
life in a variety of cultures, which helped me choose the best values from each
culture that I came across. I feel spiritually enriched. Spirituality, a common
thread of humanity, upholds the true values of life. We all are bonded
universally as human beings with a common thread of decency. Laughter and
cries, smiles and tears are the universal language of humanity; they
communicate more truthful stories than any language can tell.
As John Donne says, "No man is an island." I express my gratitude to my
colleagues who helped me in bringing this project to fruition.
I offer a special bouquet of gratitude to the late Dr. Howard Hill. This
project is a result of his persistently suggesting me, since 2006, that I should
publish a monograph. His kindly telling me that I was a prolific writer, a
serious writer, editorial maverick encouraged me to keep writing.
I thank the Times and Democrat Editor Lee Harter for running my columns
in a timely fashion, which made me feel instantly gratified. Reading The Class
of 9/11 and what really happened to the class of '65, he gingerly commented,
"Nice analogy!" And about the futuristic column, Living life in 2000 A.D., his
e-mail response was, "This was a very interesting column developed nicely
with a cool ending. Know readers enjoyed." His occasional comments like
these motivated me to keep writing.
I thank my colleague Dr. Louise Pollans, French professor, for her
friendship and cordially sharing her editorial observations without prejudice.
I express my heartfelt gratitude to professor and technology savvy Dr.
Kuhanand Mahalingam (Dr. Kuha). His prudent advice and generously shared
skills, time, and efforts helped bringing my project to fruition.
I hope that the variety of human interest readings presented in this book
educate, entertain and help inspire the readers in their lifes aspirations. Under
each title the date is posted. It indicates either the day column was published
or the date the article was written, which enables the reader to relate the text to
the contemporary context.
I am fortunate to have abundance of good people in my world. With my
enriched heart, I gratefully count my blessings.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Note: My website: https://hiremathcolumns.wordpress.com has been up and

running. The writings presented in this book are posted on my website.
Because a good number of old-fashioned, faithful readers prefer sitting in
comfort and reading a book holding it in their hands, they expressed
reluctance at their going on the website each time they wanted to read my
writings. They proposed that if I could put my work in a book, they would
download it and save it on their desktop or just print it to read.
In order to post my work on the website, I had spent time to collect all the
pieces of my writings, which have been composed over the duration of a few
years. Now, all I had to do was to create a format. Thus, my efforts in
formatting resulted in the Book of Columns, Poetry, and Short Stories.
Now, the difference between this book and my website is once the book is
uploaded, it will stay free of any changes and additions. However, my website
https://hiremathcolumns.wordpress.com will stay active. As I write, God
willing, new pieces, I will be posting those on the website.
I conclude with gratitude to my readers who have encouraged me to keep
writing. Their compliments, comments, and words exhibiting their excitement
are the source of my inspiration and the reason why I continue to write, which
I love to do.
Feedback from my readers means a lot to me.
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Mandakini Hiremath
SECTION I
A VARIETY OF COLUMNS
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Mandakini Hiremath
Self-respect is the key word

Monday, March 15, 2004
New Years Eve, 2003, turned out to be unseasonably warm and sunny. I
sat in my courtyard reminiscing on memorable events that had taken place
during the year. Eventually I thought about an event that brought honor to
and boosted self-respect in an ordinary individual. I recalled the story of
Private Jessica Lynch, a 19-year-old army clerk from Palestine, Virginia, an
aspiring teacher who enlisted to see the world in addition to making some
money to pay for her education. Lynch was captured when Captain Troy
King, commander of the 507th maintenance company, took a wrong turn just
outside Nasiriya and his company was ambushed. Some of Lynchs comrades
were killed, and she was taken to the local hospital, which at that time was
swarming with Fedayeen. Eight days later, United States Special Forces
stormed the hospital to rescue her, capturing the entire dramatic event on a
night-vision camera.
Private Jessica Lynch became an icon of the war, and the story of her
capture and rescue became one of the great patriotic moments of the conflict.
As for Private Lynch, she became a cult hero, though it was reported, There
was no [sign of] shooting, no bullet inside her body, no stab wound only a
road traffic accident. . . .
I watched a partial segment of Jessica Lynch Tells Her Story on NBCs
Today. In the segment Lynch spoke with news anchor Katie Couric about
what really happened when she was captured by Saddams soldiers. When
Couric asked her whether newspaper accounts that said she continued firing at
the Iraqis even after she sustained multiple gunshot wounds, that she was
stabbed, even shot, that she tried to fire her weapon but her gun jammed were
true, Lynch calmly answered, No, none of it. After Couric restated, You
never fired your weapon, Lynch responded collectedly, My weapon
jammed, and I am not about to take credit for something someone else, you
know, heroically did. I am not about to take credit for that. Her staunch
response shows her determination to stand tall with self-respect and as a hero
not for what she did but for what she didnt do. As we all know, a couple of
books, a new biography, and a television movie have told the story of her
honesty and integrity and have made the public recognize her as real hero.
In this context I remember another story. Sixteen-year-old Ffyona
Campbell of Great Britain longed for admiration from others so much that she
spent 11 years walking around the world. Her goal was to be recognized in
The Guinness Book of World Records. Her long journey came to an end on
October 14, 1994, at the northern tip of Scotland; before thousands of
cheering fans, she was crowned as the first woman to walk around the world.
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Mandakini Hiremath
It was her finest day. At last she found the admiration she craved. But her
heart was heavy, for she knew she had cheated. While walking across the
United States, she had become weary and accepted a ride for one thousand
miles. In the months to come, the shame of having cheated drove her to drugs
and alcohol. She even considered suicide.
To appease her conscience, she secretly finished the thousand-mile stretch
between Indianapolis, Indiana, and Fort Summer, New Mexico, in 1996. But
even that didnt help. Finally, she called the Guinness office and asked to
have her name removed from the record. And then she publicly apologized on
television by admitting her cheating.
Lynch and Campbell freed themselves by clearing their consciences
publicly in order to live with inner peace and calmness. Their consciences
outweighed their desire to be world famous, though they had all the chances to
be so. But they chose to sleep soundly at night.
The lessons Campbell learned and Lynch taught are timeless ones: Its
possible to live without the admiration of others, but what one cant live
without is self-respect. Many of us spend an enormous amount of time trying
to gain respect from others, but the truth is we are in most need of our own
respect. The key is self-respect.
Let our consciences be our guides.
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Mandakini Hiremath
An element of chance: Long, bitter journey

Monday March 29, 2004
Each of us is born with dreams and ambitions. We all, at one point or the
other, have been prisoners of our own fear, ambition, and greed. We are
taught and advised by our parents, elders, and well-wishers to keep our goals
high and to go shooting for distant stars.
Despite perseverance and hard work, at times, our experience has proved
that we are not always guaranteed success in reaching that desired destination.
There is a supernatural element named by the different words, chance,
destiny, luck, or the phrase, it was not meant to be.
Though expressed differently, they all mean the same. However, if one has
failed to reach his destination, that doesnt mean his life is a failure. He may
be honored unconditionally because of the element that hindered him from
being successful to begin with. We may call it a miracle, or simply a fortune,
or just a fluke.
In this context, I refer to the life story of John Pierpont. John Pierpont was
a teacher, preacher, poet, lawyer, and candidate for Massachusetts governor,
and other state offices. After having a superficial look at his life, browsing
through the pages of his biography, a reader might conclude that John
Pierpont lived and died as a failure. But I urge you not to arrive at this
conclusion, until you look a little more closely.
Pierpont was born in New England in 1785. Graduating from Yale with the
class of 1804, following the example of many young men of New England, he
went to be a teacher in the southern states in the autumn of 1805. He was a
private tutor in the family of Colonel William Alston, of South Carolina. But
his first teaching job didnt last long. He was told that he was too easy on his
students.
He went back to school to become a lawyer. He was admitted to the bar in
1812 in Essex County, Massachusetts. But he failed to flourish in his legal
career as well.
He opened a dry goods store, but the business ended up in disaster, leading
him to bankruptcy. Discouraged, he sought solace in literary pursuit; his
literary aspirations began to bear fruit, culminating in the publication of The
Airs of Palestine in 1816. Before this, he had delivered and published
another collection, The Portrait, soon after the commencement of the second
war with Great Briton. He was good at composing poetry, but it didnt pay
his bills.
Therefore, again he went back to school. This time he studied theology
with the goal of becoming a preacher. He left the seminary in October 1818.
In April 1819, he was ordained as a minister of Hollis Street Unitarian Church
in Boston. Unfortunately, he was asked to resign by the first congregation.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Politics always had intrigued him, so he ran for governor of Massachusetts;

he lost big. To try his luck, he ran for congress; again he lost, even bigger. In
the Civil War, at the age of 70, he served as a Chaplin, but that job lasted only
two weeks. He died at the age of 71, as a clerk in the treasury department.
John Pierponts life was filled with trials and failures. However, he didnt
dwell on the past experiences that no longer served his purpose. He worked
hard with enthusiasm and hoped to find his niche. He poured his heart into
everything he did and tried to be successful by treading many different ways.
He just didnt find himself good at anything, or it just didnt work out in his
favor for some reason.
Although a failure in all these ways, Pierpont accomplished something that
has touched us all. He had just returned from California, having failed to
strike it rich during the gold rush of 1849. Perhaps, the way the planets
aligned themselves in the cosmos, it was about time for his finest moment to
arrive. He was, allegedly, inspired during the winter time by sleigh races
through the center of town, as the sleighs passed along their route; towns
people braved the cold and cheered on their drivers, singing carols and other
songs.
Somewhere along the way, Mr. Pierpont wrote a song, a song so simple
that any child can sing it as cheerfully as Christmas itself, a song that connects
young and old by jingling each others heart and takes us on a sleigh ride right
into the heart by dusting off a bit of early childhood in each of us. John
Pierpont wrote Jingle Bells, a piece of holiday magic, the song about
sleighs, horses, snow, and laughter. After all, the holiday season is a chance
to express our ventures into the empire of make-believe, fantasy, and hope.
He accomplished this at the home of one Mrs. Otis Waterman, who had the
only piano in the town.
We know how life does not always give us what we want, but we might get
lucky if we keep trying hard and continue to do the best we can. We may be
rewarded by an element called chance. Life happens in the process of
creating; you need not worry about the outcome, for it will be what it will be.
Now, I ask you again, Was John Pierpont a failure?
If John Pierpont were a failure, what a wonderful failure he was! If I were
to be a failure, I would like to be one such as he!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Performing your duty

Monday October 11, 2004
It's time to express overdue gratitude to all the readers who have
complimented me by calling, e-mailing or speaking to me about my writings
that ran in The Times and Democrat, a local newspaper. One column,
especially, elicited a response, "A word about family," ran on Monday, June
7. Just to mention a few, Elizabeth Rose, a retired colleague, telephoned and
said, I enjoyed reading it, my dear. And Dr. Howard D. Hill, vice president
for academic affairs at Claflin University, complimented, stating that is was a
"very nice read." I was encouraged to learn from one of my co-workers,
Carolyn Ravenell, that my column, "A word about family" (which is posted in
Commencement section) was referred during the discussion period at her
church. Considering how effective the subject matter was and how well it was
received, I present you here another story about priorities.
Bill Havens, having established himself as a world-class contender in the
singles and four-man canoeing events, represented one of America's best
prospects for a medal in the 1924 Olympic Games.
Learning that he was qualified to compete, Havens was thrilled to realize
that his lifelong dreams were to come true.
However, several months before he was scheduled to leave for Paris, the
1924 Olympic site, he learned that he was going to be a father, and
coincidentally, the baby was due in the middle of the two-week Olympic
competition. In the 1920s, traveling from the United States to Europe required
a two-week voyage across the Atlantic on an ocean liner. With the trip, forth
and back, and the two weeks of competition, Havens would have taken off at
least for six weeks. Havens was certain that if he went to Paris, he was going
to miss the birth of his child.
Bill Havens faced the dilemma of missing one of the two wonderful
landmarks. The physician assured him that the baby would be born without
any complication and his wife encouraged him to participate in the Olympic
competition. She tried to convince him that he could win glory for himself and
his country, and when he returned home she and the child would be waiting
for him.
Bill Havens pondered over the possibility of winning a medal. He weighed
the moment of glory against his wife and the child's life. Finally, Havens
decided to stay with his wife to welcome their child.
On Aug. 1, 1924, Bill Havens' son was born, four days after the Paris
Games concluded. At the time of his son's birth, if he had chosen to go,
Havens would have been aboard a ship in the middle of Atlantic Ocean. Over
the years, time and again, Havens imagined to himself what it would have felt
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like to stand on the victory platform with the Star Spangled Banner playing
and the crowd cheering and wondered if anyone cared about his sacrifice.
But in the summer of 1952, Bill Havens finally got his answer. Frank
Havens, his son, sent a telegram from Helsinki, Finland, the site of Olympics
for that year, to his father that read: "Dear Dad, Thanks for waiting around for
me to get born in 1924. I'm coming home with the gold medal you should
have won. Your loving son, Frank."
Frank Havens had competed in the 10,000-meter singles canoeing event,
one that his father himself might have won in 1924. As young Havens won the
gold, he first remembered his father who had sacrificed the same glory in
favor of his love for his family. Now, Bill Havens realized how much his
family, relatives, friends, and fans around him valued his past sacrifice. He
felt very happy and closely connected with them. His happiness and
contentment outweighed any amount of gold or fame he might have won.
The key word here is priority, making right choices when faced with
quandary. But keep in mind that at times, your sacrifices may not be
appreciated in return. However, you will be free of guilt knowing that you did
the right thing.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Life goes on
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Watching the news broadcast about the first cat being cloned made me
reflect on life, death and the issue of afterlife. Though death has been the
common lot of each living being, from time to time, some have been tempted
to challenge that ultimatum. Immortality is the concept of existing for a
potentially infinite or indeterminate length of time.
Throughout history humans have had the desire to live forever. With the
dawn of modern technological and scientific revolutions, a new breed of
"immortalist" has emerged. They believe in the possibility of avoiding death
altogether. However, I am comfortable with the concept that was widespread
before the 19th and 20th centuries. Previously, philosophy and religion
expressed immortality as the continuity of human spiritual existence after the
death of the body. The only seriously considered method of achieving
immortality involved the continued existence of a person in one form or
another after physical death. Thus, the concept of immortality has to be
distinguished from that of bodily resurrection.
Thinking of immortality or the continuity of life, I remember the short lives
of 7-year-old Nicholas Green and 16-year-old Ricky Mullane.
While vacationing in Italy with his parents, Nicholas was killed by car bandits
in October 1994. Being confronted with the sudden death of their darling son,
the Greens faithfully accepted God's will and, through his grace, blessed by
new insight they decided to donate his organs.
Nicholas now lies in a peaceful country churchyard in California while the
seven recipients of his organs and who are neither rich nor famous feel that
they have been reborn.
Ricky Mullane, a young man from Long Island, N.Y., has shared much
more in death than he could in his life. Ricky's stunning generosity began with
a simple gesture when he turned 16. Like most kids, for Ricky, being able to
drive was a turning point. Ricky was a full-fledged driver with his own set of
wheels, driver's license photo and a chance to make an adult decision. He
decided to be an organ donor.
His parents remember his saying, "If anything happens to me, I want to
donate my organs." They were even more proud when they heard he would be
following in his dad's footsteps by joining the Air Force.
Unfortunately, Ricky never got to finish his training. On one fateful day,
Ricky was holding a gun in his hand. It slipped. The gun went off as the metal
hit the floor.
Richard Mullane Sr., Suffolk County police officer, who was the in
Southwest being trained for the astronaut rescue, received a call from his
precinct. In disbelief, returning to New York, Ricky's father went to the
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morgue to see if his son was really dead. Accepting his son's death, he
envisioned holding his fatally wounded son, only to hear his son's words,
"organ donation." Four years after Ricky had gone, one of the Mullanes'
proudest moments came about a couple of months ago, when they learned
through letters from the recipients that Ricky's organs had helped save or
better the lives of 80 people across 24 states.
Ricky's gift left his family with a new sense of purpose. Instead of being
tortured by the way his son died, Richard Sr. travels the country to tell people
about Ricky and to inspire them to be organ donors. Ricky's parents have
learned to live again, and their life goes on. "We know now that he really isn't
gone. He is helping all these people," Ricky's parents console themselves.
The future of radiant young men has been abruptly cut short by a tragic turn of
events. Life always doesn't go as planned. No parent is ever ready to bury his
child. The pain and void that is created by a child's accidental death is not
going to vanish ever. But through their wise decision, these parents have
withstood the trial and are consoled to see that their sons continue to live on
through the hopes and dreams of these recipients. "We live in deeds, not in
years; in thoughts, not in breaths; in feelings, not in figures on a dial. We
should count time by heart throbs. He most lives who thinks most, feels the
noblest, acts the best," writes Philip James Bailey.
The Greens and the Mullanes are pleased by the publicity that has helped
spur the worldwide interest in organ donation. They are committed to making
sure that potential donors realize what a mighty gift they have in their power
and have exemplified to the world the celebration of living eases the pain of
losing loved ones.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Split the baby in nine

Monday, February 28, 2005
As I watched the first news broadcast about the infant known as "Baby 81"
who was claimed by nine women, the first thought came to my mind was split
the baby in nine to resolve the dispute. Then immediately I was overwhelmed
with guilt and was ashamed of such a cruel thought. How could I? How cruel
of me!
After calming down, I realized that my thought was a subconscious mind's
quick reaction. The phrase "split the baby" originated from the Old Testament
story of King Solomon's resolution of a dispute between two women who
lived in the same house and gave birth to sons within a few days of each other.
One of the babies died a few hours after its birth and both the women claimed
the custody of the remaining child.
King Solomon was faced with the two parties whose interests were in
complete opposition, knowing resolution in favor of one would mean
complete defeat for the other. He suggested resolving the case by dividing the
child and giving each woman half. As the king called for sword to split the
baby in two, the mother of the child reacted strongly. She pleaded with the
king to spare the child, telling him that she would let the other woman raise
him rather than have him die. On the other hand, the other woman would
rather see the child killed than lose him to his real mother. At this point King
Solomon, knowing the identity of the real mother, issued his judgment on the
case, awarding custody of the child to his real mother.
It's obvious that when the King Solomon called for the sword and
suggested splitting the baby, he was well aware that the action he proposed
was cruel and outrageous. However, he was trying to accomplish much more
than just a resolution of the dispute between women. King Solomon devised a
judgment to split the baby as a clever challenge to the litigants, designed to
reveal to all their motivations in pursuing custody of the child.
Now, let's return to the present case: a wide-eyed healthy infant, about 3 or
4 months old, though bruised and covered in mud, was brought to the hospital
at Kalmunai, a remote town in Sri Lanka. He was dubbed "Baby 81," for he
was the 81st patient admitted to that hospital. Nine desperate, heartbroken
women quarreled over him -- all claiming he was snatched from their arms by
the tsunami.
Thanks to the modern miracle of DNA testing, there is no need to apply the
Solomon strategy. Since nine women were claiming the custody of Baby 81,
the court asked them for DNA samples to determine the real parent. As the
DNA issue was raised, eight women lost their interest; only one pursued the
custody. This Sri Lankan woman, along with her husband, claiming to be the
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Mandakini Hiremath
parents of a tsunami survivor known as "Baby 81," was freed on bail. They
had been arrested for storming the hospital demanding to see the child.
When the court didn't give the couple custody, the distraught man who
claimed to be the father standing outside the nursery at Kalmunai Hospital
threatened to kill himself and his wife if they were not given the baby. If the
King Solomon were present at this situation, I wonder, this had been enough
evidence to prove the legitimacy of their claim.
Finally, the tests ended eight weeks of uncertainty and drama surrounding
the infant, who became symbol of families torn apart by tsunami. The couple
who pursued the custody battle proved to be his real parents. No other
Valentine's Day would be happier to these parents. "I am so happy, and I only
have to thank God for giving my child back," the boys father Jeyarajah said.
"We have got the results for all our hardships."
After all, this baby is a lucky one, for nine women claimed him; whereas
UNICEF says preliminary data indicate that nearly 1,000 children were
orphaned by the tsunami in Sri Lanka and 3,200 more lost one parent, and so
are the parents. They are lucky too. They get to hold their baby to love, to
cherish, and to parent, as other hundreds still wait desperately with vacuumed
heart and empty arms on the seashore hoping for their child/children's
miraculous return.
Let us rejoice at the happy ending and wish Godspeed to "Baby 81," as he
endeavors to grow up, and smooth sailing with his parents. The baby's name is
Abilass, and he was born Oct. 19. 2004.
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Mandakini Hiremath
The sweet old days

Monday, April 18, 2005
This New Years Eve, I received a call from one of my friends inquiring
why I had not responded to her seasons greetings dispatched through the email. She was shocked to realize that I dont have a computer at home.
Youwithout a computer, she almost screamed at me in disbelief. I tried to
ease her shock by telling her that I spend each day, at times even weekends,
when pressured by projects, more than 10 hours at work mostly at the
computer. I believe having a computer at home would deprive me of having a
few hours of sound sleep at night which I need desperately to keep my sanity.
This conversation reminded me of an incident that happened years ago. I
walked in this store with my then adolescent son, Mayur, a computer wiz and
saw a computerized chess set featuring a little sign that invited a customer to
play. My son challenged me to a game, and I accepted.
This remarkable device had mechanical arms that actually reached out to
grab and move the pawns to their positions. That was impressive enough, but
what bothered me was its smug attitude. The computer was programmed to
talk like mere mortals, like us. In addition, at the end of its mechanical arms
were two hands like devices that clapped wildly when the machine made a
tricky move that led me into a deadly trap. It sat there applauding itself.
One can imagine how intimidating it was being mocked by a machine
which knew that I wasnt sharp enough, and made everyone in the store
realize it too. Its humiliating when a little plastic box can make us look like
nerds. Since then I have hated any and all computerized games, even though
my son tried to ease my discomfort and encouraged me by stating, Its all
about agility, Mom, eye-hand coordination.
Now, when I ponder that long ago incident, I think in a sense my encounter
with the computer can be symbolic of the confusing time in which we live.
Advancing technology stresses our ability to cope and understand. Everything
seems more complicated now than in old days which were slower and more
predictable.
I am glad because there is still a place in this world where I can escape
technology. I can sit quietly in the courtyard to reminisce and reflect; when
old man winter is having fun and smirking with vengeance, I can cuddle in a
blanket on a comfortable sofa with a good book and a steamy hot spicy cup of
tea; otherwise, take long walks in the park, or linger around in the backyard
after filling up the birdfeeder, listening to birds chirp, watching squirrels
chase; I can meow to neighbors cat, which notices my presence and enters
our backyard by sliding under the fence and sits a few feet away staring at me
and meowing off and on; I can question a stray dog that wanders close to the
gate, stares and then barks and growls, neglecting the ringing phone. Then
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Mandakini Hiremath
friends that live close by knock on the door with an excuse saying, I called
you several times; why arent you answering the phone? We then laugh and
chat about nothing and everything to our hearts content while munching on
snacks and sipping tea.
I know we cant stop the onslaught of technology, but we can quietly rebel
against it in our private ways and still have the pleasure of creating and
enjoying, just like we did in those sweet old days.
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Mandakini Hiremath
American idle or idol?

Monday, August 29, 2005
One of my students caught me off guard when she asked if I had seen
American Idol. I responded, Yes! I remember seeing American Idle, a
recent Times and Democrat editorial page cartoon of a young man sitting on
the couch, sluggishly with his half-closed eyes watching TV. At my
response, she lost interest, shrugged her shoulders, and walked away with a
peculiar stare. Wondering the reason for her reaction, I resumed the task I was
engrossed in.
But then, coincidently, a couple of weeks later, I watched Dateline NBCs,
Hoda Kotb interviewing Carrie Underwood, the newest American Idol and
realized the reason for my students peculiar stare.
Carrie Underwood, a 21-year-old country singer from a small town,
Checotah, Okla., became the fourth American Idol. Ms. Underwood
mentioned if someone had asked her when she was little what she would like
to be when she was grew up, her answer would have been, I want to be
famous.
Carrie likes the fact that she came from a small town where she had chance
to climb trees, catch frogs, and go fishing, and the opportunity to sing at the
annual and local festivals where she got started on her career singing to
crowds of 30 or so. Giving up this favorite hobby, Carrie moved away to
attend college at Northeastern State University. While in her senior year of
college, she saw a TV ad for American Idol auditions in St. Louis, eight
hours away. Though tempted, she thought, forget itmay be next year, but
her mom agreed to chaperon her. So off they went and seven days and 7,000
contestants later, she was singing in St. Louis at the American Idol audition.
She kept singing and making the cut, and the small town girl became more
and more adored for her small town-ness. By the time the competition ended,
more than 500 million votes were cast (excluding mine) and Carrie became a
full-fledged celebrity. In addition to appearing at Lenos, then Ellens, and this
weeks Today show, with Datelines camera rolling, Carrie fulfilled another
lifelong dreamsinging at the Grand Old Opry. Quite a bit of fame for this
farm girl country crooner, she has fulfilled her dream of becoming famous.
Even so she didnt just relish her fame. She worked hard to record and to
release her first single three weeks after the big win.
Though one perceives Carrie today as a celebrity, one must realize that she
didnt achieve her success overnight, nor was the title American Idol
randomly placed on a silver platter and bestowed upon her to honor her. She
alone knows the hardships and perseverance behind this success; its not just a
fluke. For a few minutes fame, Carrie spent days and weeks in isolation
practicing her vocal skills and writing her songs. They say singers and artist
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Mandakini Hiremath
are born, not made. But one must remember as it applies to genius so does it
to success, when Thomas Edison says, Genius is one percent inspiration and
ninety-nine percent perspiration.
Before going to commercial, television hosts inspire the television viewers
to stay tuned, go get a cup of coffee and join us in a couple of minutes,
you may think you know the end, but you dont, so dont you dare to miss
it. They are working hard to do their job. If they dont have ratings, they will
be out of work, so they want you to watch their shows inactively, mindlessly
and to be an American idle in order to keep those hosts lively, creative and
busy.
So choice is yours. If you follow blindly their dictates instead of
controlling yourself with your will and intellect, you are casting yourself adrift
in the path of lifes storm. You must prepare to overrule your short-term
pleasure and govern your behavior with reason. Always remember, theres
nothing free in this life. If you make wrong decisions, choose watching
sluggishly for hours and hours of television and give into fleeting temptation,
you will have to pay for it; it may cost the most valued commodity of life,
your health, mental and physical. Life is shaped by the things we do. The only
constructive course is positive action.
Remember that, in the final analysis, your determination, planning, hard
work and perseverance will determine your success in the game of life. There
are plenty with raw ability to be exceptional, but only those who work hard,
are diligent about their work, and are dedicated will succeed in achieving their
desired destination, so turn off the television. Stop being couch potatoes to
pursue your dream, your lifes goal and achieve your ideal.
American intellectuals and academics refer to characteristics of successful
people as specific traits such as rugged individualism, marked
competitiveness, an over-whelming desire to win, and a tendency to brag. As
we acknowledge Carrie Underwoods achievement, its obvious that she is allAmerican individual who has supplied all these characteristics (except
bragging; though she doesnt brag, she has earned every right to.) to get what
she desired, so she deserved the title, American Idol. The idle thats
watching television in the cartoon is not an American intellectual, for theres
no glimpse of individualism, competitiveness, or desire to win, and certainly
he has nothing to brag about. Therefore, turn the television set off. Be
American to be a productive member of society.
Lets congratulate American Idol Carrie Underwood for her outstanding
success. May we be inspired by her determination, hard work and
perseverance to become an ideal.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Cell phone courtesy

Thursday, September 01, 2005
One mid-morning, when the Writing Center was crowded to capacity and
each user engrossed in working on assignments, research, internet surfing, or
checking e-mail, a blast of high-pitched beeps erupted. Its the William Tell
Overture, better known as the theme from the Lone Ranger: beep-beep
BEEP, beep-beep BEEP, beep-beep BEEP BEEP BEEP!
The aggravation mounted. Students were distracted and frozen with tense
shoulders. I was too annoyed to take quick appropriate action. As I walked
close to the cell phone in a quandary whether to answer, to destroy, to shut it
off or to put it on mute, someone almost shouted, Dont you dare touch
someone elses cell phone. Its like taking someones laundry out of the dryer
at the Laundromat. As I was about to respond to her, someone walked in with
a complacent smile, saying, Sorry! But immediately turning the table
smartly, she added, This was an experiment. I wanted everyone to realize
how vexing it is to hear the unrequited squeals of an orphaned cellphone. I
was impressed to see the way she handled her negligent behavior and hoped
for positive results out of this annoyance, though I asked her to speak with me
one-on-one later.
Everywhere I go, from avenues to airports, from elevators to the bank,
from conference rooms to restaurants, from building to building, campus-wide
facilities, like the library, the writing center, laboratories, assemblies,
committee meetings, everywhere mobile addicts are blurting out steady
streams of shocking and confidential revelations. Simply, I am not interested
in knowing all the intimate and creepy things I am forced to overhear.
I dont have a cell phone. Do not plan to use one and feel relieved; I can
handle my business affairs efficiently without using a cell phone. However, I
am sure there are many in this fast-paced world that are thankful each day for
its invention and wonder how they handled business affairs before it existed. I
understand that they must use a cell phone and respond immediately any
emergency. My issue is with those who, as Suein L. Hwang puts it, leap to
answer a cellphone with a wan hope the next call will change their lives,
though it might be just mom, a boyfriend or girlfriend or even a telemarketer.
When their phone rings in a meeting, it creates an impression that they matter;
it makes them stand out.
My concern is lack of cell phone courtesy. I believe its as harmful as
secondhand smoke. We hang signs: Cell phone use in the facility is strictly
prohibited. Still, we repeatedly have to remind our clients, pointing out the
sign, and then they walk out taking their time with the continued conversation.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Even though we prohibit their cell phone conversation, phone-rings dont

stop; though people know to put it on vibrate.
And then there is the variety of ring tones available. People arent just
satisfied with a plain ring now they have to have the collected works of
Britney Spears, says Mr. Nielson, a technology consultant. I dont look
forward to hearing a rock band in a workplace where academic excellence is
the priority. While writing about cell phone ring-tones Suein L. Hwang writes,
It gets worse. A Nokia spokesman tells me he was in a meeting recently
when a state-of-the-art cell phone suddenly began emitting human screams.
To conclude, she adds, They could have been mine.
Let me be clear here: the cell phone and its myriad benefit arent the issue
here. People who dont follow cell phone etiquette are. So let us see what are
the dos and donts:
1. Never take a personal mobile call during class or a business meeting,
including conferences with your professors, advisor, or administrators.
2. Maintain at least 10-foot zone from anyone while talking. Speak softly.
3. Never talk in elevators or public facilities, like libraries, or the writing
center. Avoid having an emotional conversation in public.
4. Keep calls brief and to the point.
5. Tell callers where you are, so they can anticipate distractions or
disconnections.
6. Respect quiet zones and phone-free areas.
7. Inform everyone on your stored-number list that youve adopted the new
rules for mobile manners. Request them to do likewise.
Lets hope each one abides by cell phone courtesy and each day turns out to
be peaceful and productive. You know, above all this annoyance with various
ring tones, loud and lengthy conversation, and being forced to overhear
somebodys intimate, emotional, and at times, creepy conversation, what
distresses me most is the abrupt break in the personal connection when faceto-face conversation is interrupted to take a cell phone call, showing that the
other person is more important. I miss that intimacy in greeting with a smile
and simple etiquettes, like saying Hello! How are you? as coworkers,
students, professors, administrators run into each other. They are too
engrossed in their cell phone conversation to notice that someone is passing
by. Human intimacy and courtesy have been diminished due to this cell phone
dominance. We need to restore them.
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Mandakini Hiremath
A world of autism
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Since I was easing into summer break, I could sit down in the mornings to
sip my cup of tea. If I am having a tea or lunch by myself, I turn on the
television and flip the channels to see if there is anything that interests me.
This Sunday morning, the last week of May, my flipping channels came to
an end as I watched a young adult walk fondly carrying plastic spoons
wherever she went and holding them under the running tap in a sink to fill
with water and then empty repeatedly. Curiously, I ended up watching partial
documentary, Autism is a World, by Sue Rubin on CNN Presents.
Autism is lifelong [non-progressive neurological disorder] developmental
disability that prevents individuals from properly understanding what they see,
hear, and otherwise sense. This results in severe problems in social
relationships, communications, and behavior, describes TEACCH website.
Sue Rubin was diagnosed with autism at age 4; until the age of 13 her IQ
was 9. Before she learned to communicate, she lived virtually in another
world. Voices floated over me. I heard sounds but not words, writes Rubin,
now 26, in college and lives on her own with assistance from her support staff.
Ms. Rubin meets with Dr. Margaret Bowman, an expert on neurology of
autism at Harvard. She wants to know what autism is and why she does the
autistic things that she doesnt want to do. The professors explanation was
that they dont have all the answers, but basically the researchers believe that
it has something to do with how the brain is wired in certain parts; it has to do
with emotions, behaviors, memory and learning and how the subject
anticipates and handles language in parts of brain, like her brains some parts
are wired extremely well and she is very bright, but some dont work well as
she wants them to. And they are trying to figure out why that is and what the
researchers can do about it.
Rubin narrates, I know I look retarded by carrying around plastic spoons.
But spoons are my comfort. I cannot explain how or why I need them. I just
do; water drives me crazy. She certainly understands why others assume her
as retarded, for all of her awkward movements and nonsense sounds make her
appear retarded.
After learning from the educational psychiatrist, Sue, thirteen, started to
communicate using a keyboard in support. This method is called facilitated
communication. Sue admits that the progress at first was very slow because of
her being a terrible subject. But her parents insisted that she practice every
day. As she began typing, Sue says, I was lost in autism for 13 years. I woke
up like rain fell over!
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Sues mother, Rita Rubin, says they (parents) had to watch Sue every single
minute. If they werent watching her, it meant that she was doing something
awful, something that would break the plumbing, cause a fire, or something
dangerous. There was always tension and it was just moving from one crisis to
another. As a parent it is most painful thing one can imagine to see ones child
behaving extremely aggressive and self-abusing manner. But, Mrs. Rubin
added once she started communication, Sue was re-evaluated, and she took
another psychological exam, scored 113 IQ, so it came time for Sue to go to
high school and after that to college.
Its very difficult to fight odd behaviors and uncontrollable sounds and
movements. A typical 19 year-old, Sue was a train-wreck; she was afraid of
leaving the nest, of uncertainties of peer acceptance and dreaded the workload
of homework. In the first couple of years of college, Sue narrates, she not only
had to fight autism-especially, keeping herself quiet during two-hour lecture
was a constant challenge- but she also had to prove that she was capable
student. She says she loves learning. Actually, when she is not fully engaged
in her school activities, she finds herself more susceptible to autism.
Now that Sue is in supported living, she has her own life and friends. Sues
mother, Mrs. Rubin, says Sue now participates in family discussions and
decisions. Her relationship with her parents has changed, but not as distant
from them as a non-disabled adult child might be; its no longer just
caregiver/care receiver. They spend a lot of time just talking like and
mother and daughter. She spends Friday night and Saturday with her parents
and still requires help with grooming, dressing etc.
The documentary shows that Sue loves to go to the race track with one of
her support staff, Danny and bid on a horse. He is my outlook for fun, Sue
narrates. I love going to the race track because its the place where I can
blend in with the crowd and appear normal. Everyone is looking at the horses
and not at me.
The argument dividing the autism community regarding the need to cure
autism as opposed to accepting autistic people as a natural expression has
been a lot on my mind, writes Sue Rubin. The possibility of I could be very
autistic for the rest of my life always upsets me. Therefore, when people talk
about cure, I actually love to hear it. To be realistic I know I will never be
cured. The cause of my autism is a genetic anomaly and cant be changed,
adds Sue. When at the conference Sue was questioned by one of her peers
about her lifes profession, her response was Advocate and write for
newspaper.
Sue narrates: autism is not a social way of life. At times solitude maybe her
best friend; but other times it can be her worst enemy. Sue Rubin concludes,
The last thing I want to clarify is no matter how much social interaction I
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have, I will never be free of autism. The tendencies to acting certain ways may
subside, but I will always be autistic.
As the documentary came to an end, I realized that May is recognized as
Mental Health Month and this broadcast was a promotion. However, one
needs to realize that a child or adolescent that has serious challenges are not
limited to particular month or day. The struggle is constant. Autism afflicts
one in five hundred children. These problems are difficult to deal with by any
and all means, emotional, physical, and spiritual. Words that make fun of
mental health create a sense of shame, feelings of guilt, and loss of selfesteem. Children and adolescents exposed to such a negative view of
themselves feel rejected, lonely and isolated. When asked by one of her
professors, What do you hate the most? Sue responded, Autistic people
are not given opportunity to show their intelligence. Sue Rubins is a success
story because of her support staffs endurance in dealing with her oddities and
encouraging her constantly.
We need to understand a way of life. These are real people. They have
feelings. They may not be able to respond as efficiently or as quickly, but they
understand what and how others think and react to their conditions. Parents
and care givers must make a commitment to educate general public about
these subjects to support their emotional health and wellbeing.
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Balance between positive and negative

Saturday, October 1, 2005
We all have read and advised about the importance of positive thinking.
You know there are those who believe strongly in the value of positive
thinking and see nothing to be gained from that which is negative.
Well, I respectfully disagree. I believe it is balance between the positive
and the negative that provides benefit. For example, if you try to jump start a
car using jumper cable and place the cable on the positive pole of a car
battery, nothing happens; even if you dip it in water, there would be no
danger. Then take off the positive and put it on the negative pole, still there
wont be electricity. But what happens when you hook up both positive and
negative poles? You get electrocuted. It will curl your hair, if you have any
left. Understanding the interaction between these two forces is especially
useful for raising children.
There is a time for affirmation, closeness, tenderness and love, and then
there is a time for correction, discipline and maybe even occasional
punishment. The balance between these two that is what nourishes the spirit of
children.
The moms and dads who try to be positive, ignoring irresponsibility,
defiance, or selfishness in their children, deprive those boys and girls of the
benefit of corrections. But those who are oppressive and accusatory can also
create serious behavioral problems. So our goal as parents is the balance
between the positive and the negative. Making sure that the cable is hooked up
to both the poles of the battery, thats where the power is found.
Here are two examples that occurred a little over than a decade ago. One of
my students, an incoming freshman, an attractive young female about
seventeen years old, was very talkative with a dominating personality,
bestowed with talent and looks. Unfortunately she paid less attention to her
academics than to the opposite sex, getting pregnant with twins before half the
semester was over.
Before her furious mother appeared, a month prior to the end of the
semester to take her little girl home, I had several discussions with this
student. She told me that her mother was not going to let her go back to
college; she might just let her attend the local Tech school. The girl was
crying, repeatedly repenting, and admitting that she had made a mistake, but
she had learned from it. And she was declaring that it wouldnt happen again.
Feeling sad for the student, I told her to talk with her mother candidly, as
she was talking to me about making a mistake and learning from it. The
student sadly responded, My mother is too angry to listen to me. I suggested
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Mandakini Hiremath
I might talk with her mother, but the student said several authorities on the
campus had tried, and it fell on deaf ears.
The day before going home, the student, accompanied by her mother, came
to my office to take the final exam. I said Hello! to her mother, but she
looked the other way. She just sat there for almost two hours staring at her
daughter taking the exam.
It takes wise to learn from others mistakes; unfortunately, all are not
capable of that. Therefore, learning from her mistake, without repeating it, is
all that matters in many cases. Helplessly, I thought, what a waste! If only the
mother could just listen to her and give her a second chance, the daughter
would have been able to mend her slip-up with a positive attitude and work
hard to brighten her future.
The second case was another student who had no textbook, though threequarters of the semester had passed. This text included students workbook.
Purchasing the text was a course requirement. As I enquired each time, this
student told me that her mother couldnt afford to buy it. Without the textbook
she couldnt keep up with the class work and her grades were suffering.
And then came the Universitys Homecoming. While watching the parade,
I noticed one very happy mother beating her chest, wiping her tears, and
saying, Isnt she beautiful? Doesnt my baby look beautiful? As I paid close
attention to the second attendant to the Homecoming Queen, there she was;
her daughter and my student who couldnt afford to purchase a textbook. Next
time, after the class met, I asked her to stay for a few minutes to speak with
me. I congratulated her and complimented her look, pricy gown, jewelry,
matching handbag and shoes, and beautiful hairdo. And then I added it must
have cost a fortune. She proudly answered, Yes, maam, about $1,500.
Really, I queried, how could your mom afford it? She answered, I swear,
my mom borrowed it. She didnt have the money.
I wish she had borrowed to purchase the textbook for you, and I hoped
my helpless murmur didnt vanish into a vapor.
Neither of the mothers, in these cases, is helping her daughter accomplish
her long-term goal, neither financial nor social independence. The first is too
critical of her daughter and the second has indulged in vanity and pride. If
only both the mothers had compromised a little to mend the circumstances to
help their daughters with a mixed attitude, positive and negative, there would
have been a spark to lighten the future.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Choking game, deadly consequences

October 20th, 2005
One of the good things about summer vacation was I used to get a chance to
turn on the television and to flip the channels to see if there was anything that
interested me. As the segment Choking game is deadly childs play was
introduced by 20/20s Deborah Roberts, I felt too numb to flip away and
thus ended up watching that segment.
Life is filled with would haves could haves and should haves,
though, at times, these phrases look utterly useless. Tammy Dunn wishes she
had spotted some warning signs that her daughter, Chelsea was risking her life
for a senseless game. Now, its too late. Chelsea Dunn was buried a day
before her 14th birthday.
Chelsea, all American, athletic, opinionated and talented, 13 years old,
growing up just outside Boise, Idaho, with her twin brother, Hunter and her 5
year-old sister Balee, was already mapping out her future and dreaming of
becoming an artist.
On the night of April 14, 2005, Chelsea headed off to bed as her family was
watching television and her mom gave her a goodnight kiss. Next morning,
when Chelsea didnt come out of her room for breakfast, her brother walked
into her room to wake her up, only to notice her hanging from her closet door
with a belt around her neck.
Devastated and haunted by the question of why a lively girl with bright
future could take her own life, the family searched Chelseas room for
answers. They found a note Chelsea had written to a friend, I love doing that
pass out thing. You wake up and you forget what happened. It comes back
though youre all tingly.
Parents, Joe and Tammy, were shocked. After talking to his son, Mr.
Hunter was assured that Chelsea had confided in her brother that she was
playing this game with friends in the PE locker room and had asked him to
join. He had brushed the idea off by calling it a stupid game. Though
Chelseas mother had never heard about this game, her father, when he was in
sixth grade, had seen kids doing it, but had no idea it was still going on today.
Apparently its a popular game with kids around the world, though known
by different names: space monkey, space cowboy, knockout, gasps, rising sun.
In Ireland, its known as the American dream game, says Dr. Thomas
Andrew, an expert on the dangers of this high-risk game.
Dr. Andrew says children play it by squeezing a friends chest or neck to
cut off the flow of oxygen. While the brain is deprived of oxygen, youll get
this sensation of light-headedness, perhaps numbness and the tingling. And if
all goes as planned, the pressures then released. Blood goes torrenting up
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Mandakini Hiremath
those carotid arteries and it goes into the brain, and you have this big rush,
adds Dr. Andrew. That rush is what children seem to crave. Some want it so
much that they are now often playing the game alone, using shoelaces, ropes,
dog leashes, bed sheets and belts. The results can be fatal and can be easily
confused with suicide.
Dr. Andrew demonstrated how children playing the game alone have only
moments to undo the choke-hold around their neck before passing out and
explained gravely, if the child fails to loosen the noose himself, should he not
be able to reach it, and lose consciousness and fall forward, that pressure on
his neck is now even tighter. It will deprive the blood flow leading to a fatal
result.
Four years ago, 11-year-old Thomas Fortin from New Hampshire, and 14year-old Jennifer Cernekee from Wisconsin died under similar circumstances.
More recently, a 13-year-old California boy and a 10-year-old Eastern Idaho
boy were likely victims of the game. Experts say signs parents and friends
should look for are commonly severe headaches, marks on the neck,
bloodshot eyes, and closed doors.
As victims to this deadly senseless game, children end their promising
lives too soon; for parents, the intense grief of losing their vibrant young
children never ends. Mrs. Dunn wishes she had spotted some warning signs
that Chelsea was risking her life for a senseless momentary rush. I blame
myself. Maybe I shouldve known; maybe I shouldve checked in on her, but I
am angry with hershe had a huge future with one decision took all that
away, grieves Chelseas mother.
Now, obviously, these would haves could haves and should haves are
not going to help bring these dead children back to life. Its too late for that.
But lets hope that this story educates parents to look for the warning signs to
keep children from playing this game. Lets hope these sad examples teach
children not to experiment with stupid tricks, which waste their most valuable
giftlife.
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Mandakini Hiremath
If life offers you lemons

Monday, November 7, 2005
Have you ever felt that life is striking at you again and again with
vengeance? At times it overwhelms with ifs, buts, would haves, could haves,
and should haves and leaves you all kinds of questions, with no answers, only
even more questions, making you wonder helplessly if death is the only
answer without any question.
Here is a story of a woman who forgot to pay her bills, misplaced things in
her house, drowned herself in alcohol, envied happy people, and let her grief
play with anxiety constantly like an organ in her body. Happiness was just a
reminder of her past. She had no reason to get up and no hope that could keep
her awake. She dealt with grief, the deepest wound in her heart, in her own
way. Her words are blunt. She writes in her journal, Sometimes I get sick of
people asking me, How do you feel? Then my anger, plus pain would say,
Well. How do you think I feel?
This mom is from Orangeburg, and her name is Bridgett Pullen. If you
knew the reason behind this womans self-destructive and rather seemingly
uncivilized behavior, you would say she is human and the circumstances she
has gone through contribute a great deal. However, we know that life is what
happens as we make other plans.
Ms. Pullen once was a mother of four. But now she is left alone without a
child. All four died at different stages of life. Brad, her 16 year old son, Mr.
Freshman at Edisto High School, committed suicide later that year. Her 9
month old infant, Davey, died of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).
Loree was 11 years old when she died from an accidental shooting at her
grandparents house. And then Philip, her only child to reach adulthood, was
murdered less than a year ago. What an unfortunate chain of sad events.
Wise people tell us that death is only a rejuvenation into your next being,
into your next spiritual realm, and hence the new beginning. Time and again,
death has been defined and contemplated. One understands this theosophy
only until he/she loses his/her loved ones. With death, no one ever gets used to
this kind of experience. Each time, its the same heart wrenching hurt,
devastation, the same questions about life and experiencing pains, sorrows,
regrets, and hate.
This mothers life is filled with unfortunate events. Nature has proved over
and over again that every incident that takes place in life cant be justified by
reason. None can fix ones misfortune that happens for unknown reasons; as
wise challenges, one has to learn to turn the lump of coal, ones misfortune,
into diamonds by accepting it as inevitable and by learning to appreciate little
perks.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Well! For this mom, it took a while to come to grip with her challenges, to
give a positive spin to her routine life. By accepting her lifes situation as
Gods will, she saw a ray of hope. She went back to church and reassured
herself that waking up each day has a purpose. Now, she believes God has a
plan. Ms. Pullen hopes to encourage others by sharing her story.
Thomas Paine writes, I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can
gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. Its the business of
a little mind to shrink, but he whose heart is firm and whose conscience
approves his conduct will pursue his principles into death. So people who
have gone through the course of a so-called tough life are appreciated and at
times they are admired for their courage and considered as a source of
encouragement in the community. The moral here is that against all odds, each
one has to try to do the best to his/her capacity.
Moreover, God, as scriptures teach us, has never promised us protection
from sorrow and hurt, but He has promised us to love and walk with us in
every step or when the walk gets unbearable, to walk alone carrying us in his
arms. Therefore, all we can do in unfortunate moments like these is to believe
in Gods love and remind ourselves that we are not walking alone.
Ms. Pullen has used her pain to enhance herself spiritually, to find harmony
between what happened and the life she has determined to lead. If life offers
lemons, make lemonade and savor the taste.
However, I am sure, at moments, waking or asleep, Ms. Pullen dreams of
death, things that are more true and deep than each mortal dreams and
reassures herself as Shelley writes in his poem, To a Skylark, We look before
and after/ and pine for what is not: / Our sincerest laughter / with some pain is
fraught; / Our sweetest songs are those / that tell of saddest thought.
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Mandakini Hiremath
'Tell them that we lost Peter'

Saturday, November 19, 2005
It was a sad night in August when longtime anchor of ABC's World News
Tonight Peter Jennings succumbed to lung cancer. He had announced just a
little more than four months before that he had been diagnosed with lung
cancer, admitting, "I was a smoker until about 20 years ago, he added "And
yes, I was weak and I smoked over 9/11." He was only 67.
Watching tributes paid to Peter Jennings by the networks, I wished Peter
Jennings were here to see and hear how much he and his work meant to
everyone: dignitaries, his viewers, friends, colleagues, and even his former
friendly rivals, Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather. These three giants ruled the
news media competitively and fiercely for decades.
"Peter was born to be an anchor. ... Peter, of the three of us, was our prince.
He seemed timeless. He had such elan and style," Brokaw said.
"He had the looks of a leading man. He was a scholar and correspondent,
and he had the bravery of a knight," said Dan Rather. In addition, Rather
noted that beneath Jennings' polished exterior was a fierce competitor: "If
Peter was in the area code, I didn't sleep."
NBC's Brian Williams paid tribute to a competitor and friend, calling him
"a towering figure in TV news" and adding, "It is impossible to talk about
Peter Jennings today without using words like 'elegant,' 'dashing,'
'unflappable,' and 'urbane.'''
Peter Jennings won innumerable awards for his copious work. Secretary of
State Condoleezza Rice recognized Jennings as a man of conscience and
integrity and added that his reporting was a guide to all of us who aspire to
better the world around us. What an honor for a high school dropout!
It was obvious that Jennings regretted the fact that he didn't graduate from
high school. He considered this a weak point throughout his life.
But his weakness became a source of strength that forced him to work
harder and learn more. Jennings called himself a "bone lazy" student and then
became a self-taught journalist. Ted Koppel revealed that, as Jennings traveled
around the world on his job, he carried a suitcase full of books and studied
constantly. He was a student for life.
According to Good Morning America anchor Charles Gibson, Jennings
could transform confusion into clarity and make exercise appear effortless. I
wonder how such a gifted, talented, dashing, unflappable man, who could
transform confusion into clarity, failed to see his tobacco addiction as a threat
to his health and to use his willpower to overcome it. He was always "curious
to see the other side of the coin," as he himself acknowledged, and thought
that he was an invincible giant. Perhaps he thought that, just as he had
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Mandakini Hiremath
conquered the world of business, he would conquer his illness, caused by a

deadly addiction, without paying the consequences.
He was always recognized as handsome, elegant and eloquent. All of the
elements of the personality that he and his viewers were proud of were
snatched by his disease. His handsome and emphatic figure turned feeble, his
clear voice turned groggy, and his eloquence started to stutter.
Jennings himself became the story as his courageous battle with cancer
served as an inspiration for millions of people across America. With realism
and courage, he faced his diagnosis and underwent "aggressive chemotherapy
treatment" in the hope of defeating this evil. Unfortunately, he wasn't lucky
enough to beat the odds, as he had in the news arena.
As the nation continued to mourn the news anchor's death, another public
figure, Dana Reeves, the 44-year-old widow of Superman actor Christopher
Reeves, announced that she has been diagnosed with lung cancer. Dana
Reeves' case is not unique. This year, there will be 172,000 new cases of lung
cancer; only 15 percent of them will survive five years or more. Mrs. Reeves
was never a smoker, but she worked as a singer in nightclubs, where smoking
is not prohibited. Research concludes that secondhand smoke causes cancer.
A greater awareness of the dangers of smoking should be the positive
outcome of Jennings' death. As Barbara Walters said, "If you have kids who
are smoking, for heaven's sake, tell them that we lost Peter." Let's hope
Jennings' death helps smokers to quit for good. One should not let his death be
in vain. It's not worth risking your life or your family members' health.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Before the dawn

Monday, January 16, 2006
Each one of us is born with dreams and ambitions. We all, at one point or
the other, have been prisoners of our ambition, greed, and our own fear. We
are taught and advised by our parents, elders, and well-wishers to keep our
hopes high, even at times of adversity. When there is a cloud in the sky, we
are told to look for silver lining, for somewhere in the sky, the sun is shining.
Al Trevino built their five bedroom house on Laguna Beach. For about 20
years, they bathed in Mother Natures beauty, enjoying the comforts of fresh
ocean-air and pleasures of myriads of wondrous sceneries, like crack of dawn,
sunrise and sunset.
However, as John Dryden writes, All human thing are subject to decay, /
and when fate summons, monarchs must obey. Beach erosion perched the
Trevinos house on a ledge and it was red-tagged in June, 2005. City officials
informed them that the home was a casualty of the Laguna Beach landslide,
and they could grab a few keepsakes and valuables under police escort; they
had only about an hour.
Since they had been unable to insure the house because it had been built on
a fragile land, desperately, with the prospect of being homeless, Trevinos,
started collecting their valuables, placing them in trash barrels on wheels.
They had only minutes to go. The last minute before leaving, Laurence,
Trevinos son, snatched a painting only because it carried sentimental value.
Twenty years ago, Trevino had bought it in a garage sale for under $100 to
cover up a glaring white wall. For years, it had hung in the living room. He
considered it pretty, and his wife liked the scene, though no one really took a
second glance at the artwork during visits or parties.
Now, Trevinos luck might be smiling through this painting. Noticing the
gorgeous painting and recognizing the painters signature, the family friend,
Artist Pamela Hagen, alerted Mr. Trevino, saying he might have something
special. Since he didnt know enough about plein-air art, the 1920s artwork,
Trevino researched to get confirmation that the painting indeed was original.
The painting turned out to be high-quality plein-air painting, called Evening
Shadows, depicting a specific California landmark, painted by Joseph
Kleitsch, a pioneer of this movement. Art expert Ray Redfern estimated its
value at $500,000.
I didnt believe it. This is a miracle, says Al Trevino, the 74-year-old
family patriarch. As he elaborates, The miracle is that we lost the house
worth $1.8 million and this will help us with the rebuilding, he wonders,
Isnt life just a series of twists and turns? You dont know what can happen.
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Mandakini Hiremath
This incident has reassured Trevino, proving that the darkest hour is just
before the dawn.
To boost their pleasure, Redfern is brokering the sale of the painting for
free, saving Trevinos thousands of dollars in commission costs an auction
house would have charged. Instead, hell publicize the Trevinos story to get
the very best price for the displaced family.
If you wonder at the whereabouts of the painting, it is being stored at the
Laguna Art Museum.
Though prosperity is a great teacher, adversity is greater. The Trevinos
have learned a greater lesson by going through this adversity than any
prosperity would have taught them in a lifetime. We know how life does not
always give us what we want, but Theres a nick in Fortunes restless wheel
for each mans good," writes George Chapman. That element of chance that
might prove you lucky. Even at the darkest moment, a miracle (though some
may call it, just a fluke) might be lurking around you. Keep looking for it
with hope because where there is hope, there is faith. And where there is faith,
miracles do happen.
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Mandakini Hiremath
The man who conned Oprah

It all began this week with the report that James Freys memoir, A Million
Little Pieces published, in 2003, was full of exaggerations and inaccuracies.
Relying on police and court reports, interviews with law authorities and other
sources, the Smoking Gun, an investigative web site, reported that Frey
fabricated portions of his criminal record and, contrary to his claims, spent
little time in jail. The site also questioned Freys involvement in a car accident
that killed an acquaintance, a key moment in the book. The Smoking Gun
investigation indicated that Frey was more likely a lonely, confused boy who
may or may not have needed ear surgery as a child and felt distant from his
parents and alienated from his peers. He drank too much, did some drugs, got
nailed for a couple of DUIs and ended up at age 23 in one of the countrys
most prestigious drug-and-alcohol treatment centers.
As the accusations against him continued to build, Frey appeared on Larry
King Live to defend himself and his memoir on Wednesday, Jan. 11, three
days after The Smoking Gun.com published a 12,000-word expose, titled, The
Man Who Conned Oprah. Frey said though he may have embellished some of
his past in A Million Little Pieces, he stood by the essential truths of the
book and added that only 18 pages of his 432-page memoir were in dispute.
He explained, A memoir, the word literally means my story. A memoir is a
subjective retelling of events. In a last minute call to the show host, Larry
King, Oprah chimed in on the controversy and defended the work. What is
relevant is that he was a drug addictand stepped out of that history to be the
man he is today. And to take the message to save other people and allow them
to save themselves, and she dismissed the charges that Frey embellished if
not outright falsified episodes in the book as much ado about nothing and
urged the readers whove found inspiration in the authors tale to keep
holding on.
The story relates back to October 26, 2005. On this day Oprah Winfrey
announced A Million Little Pieces, James Freys, memoir was her latest
selection for the worlds most powerful book club. She hailed the alcoholic,
drug addict, and criminal authors book as, Like nothing you have ever read
before. More than 1.77 million copies of the book were sold, and it sat atop
The New York Times nonfiction paperback best seller list for the last fifteen
weeks. This days The Oprah Winfrey Show was titled The Man Who Kept
Oprah Awake at Night.
However two weeks after defending Frey on the Larry King show, Oprah
Winfrey said she regretted making that call, saying, I made a mistake, and I
left the impression that the truth does not matter I am deeply sorry.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Because that is not what I believe. Oprah confronted Frey during a live
taping of her show on Thursday, Jan. 26. Its difficult for me to talk to you
because I feel duped. Winfrey said to Frey. This was more like an
investigative show. Oprah questioned the author about the facts expecting a
response from Frey. Instead, there were collective sighs of surprise
disappointment and disillusionment.
The staggering discrepancies between the events depicted in Freys
Pieces and the Smoking Guns report seemed to suggest that the writer was
guilty of more than more embellishment. Frey admits he lied.
What a drastic fall, from The man who kept Oprah awake at night to
The man who conned Oprah! Listening to the comments about Oprahs
withdrawn support for embattled memoirist James Frey, Dateline NBCs host
said, If Oprah giveth, Oprah taketh and CNNs Anderson Cooper said, Frey
looked like a wet rat when he was being questioned by Oprah, I felt pity for
this writer and even am worried a little bit about his mental health, after all, as
he claims, he is a recovered drug addict.
Now, let us consider who is responsible for all this chaos. Its understood
that the author made an effort to publish it as a novel, but the publishers
refused. Then copies of the same manuscript were distributed among the
decision makers at Random Houses Doubleday division to someone as a
memoir, to other one as a novel and to the third one without any category. The
author insisted that the purpose of writing or publishing this book was never
money making. Whatever a little I received 15% of it is donated to the rehab
centers (on After the Show with Oprah). So it was published as the publisher
could sell it, focusing on profit, money making. Secondly, the author may not
have even dreamt of his book being chosen for Oprahs book club and sitting
atop The New York Times best seller list, even less of this traumatic fall. But
we all know about Murphys Law. What was to happen has happened. No one
can go back to undo it. Now, all we can do is move forward and control the
damage. As I browsed through the posted online views of interested readers of
the book, I noticed several positive views about the book, praising the author
for writing such an inspirational piece and encouraging addicts to come out of
it using their willpower. There are always excuses for negativity where just
blaming takes priority. Therefore, lets be kind to the author, (as its said, An
err is human to forgive divine,) in hopes that he recognizes his pitfalls and
learns out of this case that a memoir is a real life story, that truth does matter
and urge the readers whove found inspiration in the authors tale to keep
holding on.
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Mandakini Hiremath
What really counts?

Thursday, February 23, 2006
As I reflected on the television news that broadcast Muhammad Ali's two

most recent public appearances in November 2005, Ali receiving the
Presidential Medal of Freedom at the White House and at the opening of Ali
Center in Louisville, Ky., I wondered if fascination with Hollywood celebrity
has gone a little crazy. It's obvious fame, fortune or stardom does not provide
the satisfaction as it advertises.
Ali's weak physique reminded us how time and the ravages of Parkinson's
disease have taken a terrible toll on him. The face that was once one of the
most familiar in the world is now puffy. The body, which once walked so tall
and confidently, is constantly trembling, and recent back surgery made him
walk slowly. Though he didn't speak during these appearances, he waved to
the audience reassuring them that his mental faculties are intact.
His stern behavior reminded me of reading another column about an event
that took place about a quarter century ago. When Muhammad Ali was trying
to recover in his room at Caesar's Palace from the beatings he took from Larry
Holmes in the last major fight of his career, in the showroom down below,
Frank Sinatra dedicated a song to pay tribute to Ali.
Seeing the crowd rise in a standing ovation for Ali, Gene Kilroy, Ali's
business manager, went upstairs to tell Ali what happened. "Isn't that nice,"
Ali said. "As long as they don't pity you, it's fine. I never want to be pitied."
I believe Ali doesn't want pity.
Consider the celebrity in his prime. He was known around the world as the
man who couldn't be beaten. His picture appeared on the cover of Sports
Illustrated more times than any other athlete in history.
Today it's a different story. Ali reminds us that old fighters don't tend to
age gracefully. They have taken too much abuse. The thousands of punches
Ali took to his head in his career likely led to the Parkinson's.
Feeling sad, I remembered reading a couple of years ago about sportswriter
Gary Smith's column. When he spent time with Ali at his home, Smith asked
to see his trophy room. Ali escorted him to a barn beside his house. There
leaning against one wall was a board filled with photos of Ali dancing,
punching and hoisting championship belts over his head. The pictures were
smeared with white streaks. Pigeons had made their home in the rafters. Ali
picked up the board and turned it around face to the wall. Then he started to
mumble: I had the world, and it was nothing. Look how fame is fleeting.
Fortune buys you nice things, but it doesn't make you happy.
At 63, he's basically mute and trapped inside a body he once commanded
so majestically.
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Mandakini Hiremath
However, somewhere along the way, Ali crossed the line from athlete to
statesman and world hero. He promoted peace and reconciliation in his
retirement. The iconic moment was lighting the Olympic Torch in Atlanta in
1996. As President Bush bestowed a prestigious award, he lavishly praised Ali
as a "beautiful soul" for his compassion and for being a man of peace.
Today, the Ali Center, an $80 million tribute to a man, a boxer born as a
Cassius Clay who ended up being world famous champion Muhammad Ali,
exhibits not only Ali's career in the ring but his activities outside, even
memorabilia of his famous womanizing. Let us hope Ali finds some solace in
realizing his humanitarian deeds.
The message here is timeless. Ali's mumble teaches us that happiness will
never be found in praise and admiration from others; if that's where you are
looking for it, you are destined for disappointment. Watching Ali now only
reminds us how fleeting life is even for the man who boasted himself as "The
Greatest."
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Mandakini Hiremath
Figure skating reflections

Thursday, March 30, 2006
Though not a sports fanatic, I am always intrigued by figure skating. It's an

amazing art to me, though categorized as sports. The athletes' speedy
movements embellished by elegance and technical brilliance drew my
attention to television news briefings of the Winter Olympics 2006 and
tempted me enough to take a peek at the events as they were broadcast on
television. I noticed and read: "Athletes seem to be dropping like flies at the
Olympics," as Devin Gordon wrote in his Web exclusive titled, "Crash,
Boom, Bang!" During news broadcasts as these falls were flashed repeatedly,
I habitually looked the other way.
The judges, experts and even some viewers may make comments like ''she
lacked sparkle in her free style and her fall ended any chance she had,'' but I
will just admire their speed, brave multiple triples, high jumps, and overall
their beauty.
Reflecting on figure skating reminded me of quite a few incidents related
by several different persons as to how they could dance without any special
lessons or skills as they dealt with ice during the ice storm of 2004.
I remember reading a column printed Jan. 27 in The Times and Democrat
by Gene Zaleski, T&D staff writer. As he got ready to commute to
Orangeburg from Columbia, he describes: "The first step out of the house, my
foot went one way, my back another, my head another, and my arms still
another. After brief moments of acrobatics and gyrations, I managed to
control myself and wondered if anyone in my neighborhood had already
begun to dial 9-1-1 to report a strange fellow doing a dance on his front porch
step in 20-some-odd degrees.
Anyone recalling on his/her experience during this ice storm will attest that
Mr. Zaleski didn't stand alone in his gymnastic performance.
This made me reflect on yet another, rather ridiculous, event that took
place a while ago. This morning unlocking the Writing Center's door and
walking over to my chair and landing in it, I had to take a few minutes to
breathe a sigh of relief and to recall every moment since I entered the
building.
About to enter GTK Building, I noticed the "Wet Floor: Beware" sign. I
thought it unusual. Usually the signs were placed inside. Shrugging my
shoulders and pushing the door to walk in, I saw not only more signs than
usual, but also three house-keepers, instead of the usual one, to greet me and
warn me about the wet floor and to ask me to be careful. Though I returned
their smiles and said, "Thank you. I will," watching my every step, they
walked very closely, two on my right and left and the third behind. They
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Mandakini Hiremath
expected me to take the stairs immediately after walking a few steps, but to
their disappointment, I had to walk across the hall to see one of my colleagues
to deliver a message.
They followed me as closely as possible. Feeling strange, noticing their
unusual behavior, I asked them if something was wrong with me. In their
response, I leaned that earlier that morning while walking on the wet floor,
somebody had slipped and landed flat on the floor. Though the fall wasn't
serious, feeling guilty, the housekeepers were just being cautious.
As I compare my ordeal of walking on the wet floor or others who, faced
by the icy conditions, inadvertently danced to the Orangeburg Winter
Olympic, my admiration for these athletes keeps growing. I simply view them
as artists, medal or no medal. Let's leave the technicality to the judges. These
athletes can be/ should be cheered for their hard work, in hopes of reaching
perfection, and perseverance, especially when there is no guarantee that their
four long years of intense training will not turn into the longest four minutes
of their lives.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Better late than never

Thursday, April 27, 2006
I was pleased to read the column Should you be saving yourself in the
April 6, 2006, issue of the Panther, Claflin Universitys student newspaper.
Though the name of the columnist was withheld, I appreciated the courage
and honesty of the writer.
The columnist begins, Should I have sex even though Im not married?
Should I not? Does it really matter? and continues, I have already done it.
Whats the point in abstaining now.
My answer to this young lady or man and the others who are puzzled by
such a dilemma is, Absolutely! Your abstinence, even hereafter, does matter.
Just because you let your emotions cloud your judgment and overtake your
conscience at one weak moment, you dont have to rot in that immoral ditch
forever. When ones conscience is redeemed by coming clean, the sense of
purity elevates. People should learn from their mistakes and not repeat them.
Life must move forward with confidence and courage. Rationality is the only
quality that separates humans from animals.
The evolution that has taken place in teen culture puzzles me and makes
me wonder, Where have those good old days and words such as love,
affection, and care disappeared to? I believe it was easier for our
generation. All we had to do was watch our parents and learn from their rolemodeling. I dont remember having any special session with them to learn
about the birds and the bees. But nowadays young peoples role models are
their peers.
I remember recently watching a show hosted by NBC Todays anchor
Katie Couric. In the segment, teens were talking about hooking up. Love
has nothing to do with it; for them, its just a sexual encounter with no
emotional strings attached. I believe this kind of behavior shows how
vulnerable and wrong these teens are. Being physically intimate with someone
without emotional attachment would be possible only if they werent human
beings.
Illegal, illicit, casual, premature sex can have serious, unintended,
unplanned consequences that can hamper your academic ambitions, impact
your health adversely, shake your financial future, and threaten your life.
Above all, you will be tortured by your tainted conscience every moment of
your life.
Wise people have repeatedly told us that if we lose our wealth, we have lost
nothing; if we lose our health, we have lost something; however, if we lose
our character, we have lost everything. John Luther advises, Good character
is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are, to some extent,
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Mandakini Hiremath
a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it piece
by pieceby thought, choice, courage and determination. Character is the
sum total of a persons choices. I hope the column educates those who face
this dilemma and helps others abstain from that very first encounter.
I am glad that the columnist has critically considered the slip that occurred
in a weak moment and come to the wise decision to mend his/her life by
abstaining hereafter. The difference between making love with a person you
choose to be with for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and having
illegal, illicit sex is the difference between heaven and earth. Its all right to
love someone; if the love is mutual, you both should come to an agreement to
wait until the right moment. The scripture advises: To everything there is a
season, and a time to every purpose under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3: 1). When
love's well-timed, its not a fault of love. The strong, the brave, the virtuous,
and the wise sink in the soft captivity together, writes Joseph Addison in
Cato (3.1).
The Panther columnist ends on an optimistic note: the God who has
equipped youths with raging hormones also gave you the strength to say no,
to hang on a little longer. Recent news about teens behavior concerning sex
seems hopeful. Some are not only pledging celibacy but also advocating, Just
say NO!
I wish the best of luck to the columnist in his/her future endeavors and
his/her efforts to tread in the faith and to observe morals and ethics.
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Mandakini Hiremath
The dawn of July 1

Thursday, June 29, 2006
Though the world has largely forgotten the battle of the Somme, July 1 is
the anniversary of one of the worlds most military catastrophes in human
history. It took place in France during the 1st World War. And it all began at
the dawn of July 1, 1916. At dawn of this day, hundred thousand were ordered
to charge across 40-mile front to north and south of the river. Army knew that
the battle was coming. They crisscrossed the battleground with machine guns
and firearms, systematically, mowing down the heavily laden troops.
However, the plan for a combined operation was blocked by the German
bombardment of the French fortress of Verdun. Large parts of the French
army were caught up in this bloody rearguard action. The Somme offensive
became a predominantly British operation in the hands of the commander-inchief of the British army in France, Douglas Haig and the head of the Fourth
Army Henry Rawlinson. It was the bloodiest day in British history, with
nearly 20,000 killed and 30,000 wounded. The German suffered huge
casualty, as well.
The disastrous first-day offensive didnt shake Haigs belief that a series of
similar assaults would lead to Germanys capitulation. But between July 2 and
the end of August, the British gained a little more ground than they had done
on July 1 at the cost of 82,000. Roughly, 450,000 German men were killed or
wounded and Briton and France fared even worse, with a combined total of
650,000 casualties.
The tragedy of Soma was another waste of human lives. The
unprecedented carnage of the battle of the Somme marked a turning point in
public perceptions of the war in Briton. The battle continued for hundred and
forty days. And three million men army were involved. More than a third of
them became casualty before it was over.
And what was it all for? What does it matter? The allies never drove the
Germans back more than seven miles at any point and even that ground was
lost in 1918.
It all happened a long time ago and a very far away. What has it all to do
today?
However, somehow it seems fitting for us to pause for a moment this day
to remember the sacrifice of the men that died and four million family
members whose loved ones never returned. And wonder if there is a valuable
lesson to learn by studying the history. In hopes that the study will endow this
and future generations with careful consideration of past may show us the way
in the years to come.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Living life in 2,000 A.D.

Thursday, July 13, 2006
Today, feeling inspired to write, I came to work; however, I had no clue

what I was going to write about. I prayed to the Light to direct me. Fool!
said my Muse to me, look into thy heart and write.
I turned my computer on. Making all its noises, it took its own leisurely
time to boot up. Still being uncertain what to write about, I opened the
Microsoft Word. Light flashed and all of sudden the screen went blank.
Several seconds later, bright blue screen popped with white letters reading:
The physical memory of this unit is literally dying.
In panic, keeping my fingers crossed, I sought help. The entire IT staff was
already out around the campus taking care of their appointed assignments.
Feeling desperately helpless, sitting quietly at the desk and letting my mind
wander around without confines, I recalled reading the column Will Life Be
Worth Living in 2,000AD?, originally published in July 22, 1961 issue of
Weekend Magazine. The column featured futuristic ideas conceived by
imaginative young men. According to them the life people will be living 39
years from then looked as if everything will be so easy that they will probably
die from sheer boredom.
People in 2000AD will be whisked around in monorail vehicles at 200
miles an hour and will think of taking a fortnight's holiday in outer space.
Their houses will probably have air walls, and a floating roof, adjustable to
the angle of the sun. Doors will open automatically, and clothing will be put
away by remote control. The heating and cooling systems will be built into the
furniture and rugs. They'll have a home control room an electronics Centre,
where messages will be recorded when they're away from home. This will
play back when they return, and also give them up-to-the minute world news,
and transcribe their latest mail.
They'll have wall-to-wall global TV, an indoor swimming pool, TVtelephones and room-to-room TV. By pressing a button, they can change the
dcor of a room.
The status symbol of the year 2000 will be the home computer help which will
help mother tend the children, cook the meals and remind of appointments.
Cooking will be in solar ovens with microwave controls. Garbage will be
refrigerated, and pressed into fertilizers pellets. Food won't be very different
from 1961, but there will be a few new dishes - instant bread, sugar made
from sawdust, foodless foods (minus nutritional properties), juice powders
and synthetic tea and cocoa. Energy will come in tablet form.
At work, Dad will operate on a 24 hour week. The office will be airconditioned with stimulating scents and extra oxygen to give a physical and
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Mandakini Hiremath
psychological lift. Mail and newspapers will be reproduced instantly

anywhere in the world by facsimile.
There will be machines "talking" to each other and doing the work of
clerks, shorthand writers and translators. It will be the age of press-button
transportation. Rocket belts will increase a man's stride to 30 feet, and bustype helicopters will travel along crowded air skyways. There will be moving
plastic-covered pavements, individual hoppicopters, and 200 miles per hour
monorail trains operating in all large cities.
The family car will be soundless, free of vibration and self-propelled
thermostatically. The engine will be smaller than a typewriter. Cars will travel
overland on an 18 inch air cushion.
Railways will have one central dispatcher, who will control a whole
nation's traffic. Jet trains will be guided by electronic brains. In commercial
transportation, there will be travel at 1000 miles per hour at a penny a mile.
Hypersonic passenger planes, using solid fuels, will reach any part of the
world in an hour.
By the year 2020, five percent of the world's population will have
immigrated into space. Many will have visited the moon and beyond. Our
children will learn from TV, recorders and teaching machines. Pills will aid
them to learn faster. We shall be healthier. There will be no common colds,
cancer, tooth decay or mental illness. Medically induced growth of amputated
limbs will be possible. Rejuvenation will be in the middle stages of research,
and people will live healthily to 85 or 100.
Being afraid of living in the world filled with crazy-sounding schemes
construed by these imaginative young men and feeling relieved by realizing
the world we live in today is still better off, I ended up writing this column
manually.
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Mandakini Hiremath
American soldier
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
The number of those lost in the Iraq war has reached grim milestone. Its
past 2,500.
These young soldiers who have died will never grow old. They will not
celebrate their birthdays. Their pictures sit quietly in newspapers; after the
newspapers are discarded, they will be forgotten. For all practical purposes, all
the dead in wars are unknown soldiers in the war leaders eyes. The dead are
known only to the people who loved them. It's well known that death comes
with war, but Shakespeare makes it clear that nobility arises not from the
conflict but from the courage carried in battle by one individual soul, that of a
soldier lost by those who loved him.
However, there is no turning back. As the elders have advised us time and
time again about life that its full of questions without an answer; death is an
answer without a question. I have managed to reconcile the concept of death
by reckoning the freedom for the dead, since they are in heaven, free from all
the mundane bindings, treacheries, and fraud. Theyre with the Lord
Almighty, in the loving caring eternal Father. However, the people left
behind, the parents, wife, children, siblings of the dead, have to endure the
heart wrenching pain and learn to live bearing the loss. Our thoughts should
be with the families that have lost their loved ones or those who have returned
home physically and/or mentally wounded, unable to cope with hardships of
life.
Reflecting sadly on the American soldiers and their families, I remembered
reading General Douglas MacArthur, one of the most prominent U.S. military
figures in the first half of the 20th century, addressing to the annual reunion of
MacArthurs Rainbow Division in Washington on July 14, 1935, less than two
months before the end of his tenure as Chief. The speech makes perfectly
clear that MacArthur could imagine no higher calling than of his own.
Describing, It was seventeen years ago those days of old have vanished,
tone and tint; the battlefield, youth, strength, aspirations, struggles,
triumphs, despairs, wide winds sweeping, beacons flashing across uncharted
depths, movements, vividness, radiance, shadows, faint bugles sounding
reveille, far drums beating the long roll, the crash of guns, the rattle of
musketry the still white crosses, the event, General MacArthur continued,
And tonight we are met to remember. The story, which we commemorate,
helps us to grow gracefully. He speaks: It is the story of the American
soldier of the World War. My estimate was formed years ago and has never
changed. I regarded him then, as I regard him now, as one of the of the
worlds greatest figures not only in the era which witnessed his
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Mandakini Hiremath
achievements but for all eyes and for all time. The time indeed may come
when the memory of the [battlefields] shall be dimmed by the obscurity of
revolving years and recollected only as a shadow of ancient days, but even
then the enduring fortitude, the patriotic self-negation, and the unsurpassed
military genius of the American soldier will stand forth in undimmed
luster; in his youth and strength, his love and loyalty, he gave all the morality
he could give. He needs no eulogy he has written his own history He
belongs to posterity as the instructor of future generations in the principles of
liberty and right. He belongs to the present to us by his glory, by his
virtue, and by his achievements.
The soldier, above all other men, is required to perform the highest act of
religious teaching sacrifice. However horrible the incident of war may
be, the soldier who is called upon to offer and to give his life for his country is
the noblest development of mankind. They have gone beyond the mists
that blind us here and become part of that beautiful thing we call the Spirit of
the Unknown Soldier. In chambered temples of silence, the dust of their
dauntless valor sleeps, waiting. Waiting in the chancery of Heaven the final
reckoning of Judgment Day: Only those are fit to live who are not afraid to
die. Thus his speech goes on.
We must not forget to note here that an American soldier is a soldier,
regardless of which war he fights. He deserves all the trimmings his love and
bravery for his Motherland and his sacrifice in serving her can bring.
To all the soldiers who made ultimate sacrifice: May their souls rest in
peace. And may the Lord Almighty bless their loved ones with strength and
courage to continue to live in His Will.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Did you hear?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Did you hear the Microsoft founder Bill Gates, currently worth over $50
billion; however, he wishes he werent so rich? I wish I wasnt. There is
nothing good that comes out of that. Gates explained that he didnt like the
attention of being the worlds richest person. You get more visibility as a
result of it, he complained during an interview.
However, he is wisely planning to make this world a little better for the
poor and disadvantaged by investing his riches with good causes. With great
wealth comes great responsibility, said Gates as he announced to the press
that he will be phasing out of Microsofts day-to-day business activities within
two years.
What is he going to do with his hard-earned wealth, which has
accumulated tremendously? He cant take it with him as he leaves this world
and doesnt want to leave all to his children who might become lazy and
spoiled.
Now, the second richest man in the world has joined the worlds richest to
collaborate on this issue. Bill Gates and Warren Buffet have thought that the
only right way to invest their hard earned money wisely is by giving it away.
They share a common noble view about bequeathing an inheritance to
their children. Both do not believe in leaving all of it just to their children.
Their philosophy is to leave just enough money for your children so that they
can do anything but not enough so that they can do nothing.
Until his wife died in 2004, Warren Buffet had said that he planned to give
away his wealth at his death. Now, its obvious that he has changed his mind
and decided to put his wealth to use in his lifetime to make a positive
difference.
Both men, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, have no interest in giving away
their respected positions at their corporations, director of Microsoft Co. and
chairman and chief executive of insurance and investment company Berkshire
Hathaway Inc. The company says the 75-year-old CEO has chosen a
successor, if one is needed. However, I am having so much fun at doing what
I do, says Buffet.
The actions of Gates and Buffet are going to inspire many potential donors
who have been mulling over the question of whether its better to leave your
donations in a will or to give it away while living. However, to many who are
just surviving while trying to live their lives, raise and educate their children,
this question may not apply at all. But its very nice to watch these two
philanthropists sitting together and sharing their thoughts about how to give
away their wealth to worthy causes.
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Mandakini Hiremath
By helping immunize and save millions of children, the Gates Foundation

has been a shot in the arm for global public health. "Within our lifetime, I
would expect all these top 20 diseases, we would have vaccines and medicines
to eliminate the disease burden of those," said Bill Gates at the news
conference where he accepted Warren Buffet's pledge to donate billions
annually to the foundation. According to the press, it is possible that the
Gateses will expand their horizons, but the causes they support and those of
Warren Buffet are very closely interrelated. The environment, global health,
education, civic institutions, and market institutions are all becoming
increasingly inseparable.
The Gates and Buffet come from middle class families, having worked hard
to materialize their dreams and living a simple life in many respects. (Their
favorite drink is still Coca-Cola. And Warren Buffet still lives in the same
ordinary house he bought it 40 years ago. Though Gates reside in a very
modern house, entirely equipped with advanced electronic systems and built
in the "Pacific lodge" style, which has received a lot of publicity and TV
exposure, his casual wear, slacks, a polo shirt and pastel colors, is quite
noticeable.) In setting an example to their children by their charitable action
and attesting to their outstanding genius, these two have certainly pleased
many eyes and comforted many hearts globally by their thoughtfulness and
compassion.
May God bless them with long healthy life to continue their noble deeds.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Perseverance, a character trait for October

Thursday, October 12, 2006
Keep your willpower stirred by thinking of great lives, the heroes and
heroines who have helped to shape your life or motivate you to surround
yourself with challenging people and ideas. Nurture your mind with great
thoughts that will help you to grow. Growth is evidence of life.
When you study lives of great people, you will realize that they didnt
achieve their success overnight, nor were the titles of hero and heroine
randomly placed on a silver platter and bestowed. Their perseverance and
endurance led them to their desired destination, but the journey was neither
short nor painless. Never forget: there is no gain without pain.
Here is one of the stories to evidence the importance of perseverance and
its fruitfulness to stir your willpower.
As a child, Lonnie G. Johnson, the inventor of the SuperSoaker, the
worlds first high-performance, pressurized water gun, was curious to learn
how mechanical things worked and spent hours taking toys apart to find out
what made them perform in a certain way.
As a junior in high school, he took an aptitude test to see if he was suited to
have a career in engineering. The results claimed he didnt have that aptitude,
and it was suggested that being a technician would better suit him. I decided
not to listen to that. I decided to persevere, said Johnson. Perseverance is
my special word because it has gotten me where I am today, he proclaims
firmly.
In his senior year, soon after the test, Johnson capped his youth of tinkering
with toys and appliances by winning a national invention competition for
Linex, a remote-controlled robot he had built out of junkyard scrapes.
Linex won first place in the University of Alabamas Junior Engineering
Technical Society Exposition in 1968. He continued to persevere to earn a
B.S. in mechanical engineering (1972), an M.S. in nuclear engineering (1974),
and a Ph. D. in science from Tuskegee University.
While working as an engineer with NASA, Johnson continued to invent in
the basement of his home at night, after spending a long day at work. In 1985,
he founded his own private research laboratories, later renamed Johnson
Research and Development.
Johnson had first conceived his most famous invention in 1982. While
working for the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California, Johnson was
experimenting with a new type of heat pump that would use water as a
working fluid instead of freon. Using that experience, when a homemade
nozzle at his bathroom sink shot a spray of water across the room, Johnson
resolved to invent the worlds first high-performance, pressurized water gun.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Although he knew he had hit on a hot idea, Johnson, along with a partner,
Bruce DAndrade, took almost seven years (in 1989) to create a workable
prototype of the now famous SuperSoaker. Then they had to persevere once
again to secure their own patent for the toy one to sell the idea to a
manufacturer who would be willing to make and distribute it to stores. They
filed for a joint patent and found a manufacturer.
Nine years after its inauspicious beginning in Johnsons bathtub, the
SuperSoaker rose to become the hottest selling toy in America, breaking
previous sales record set by Nintendo. It is estimated that since 1991 more
than 200 million SuperSoakers have been sold, generating with revenues of
around $400 million.
Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich,
[and] a tragedy for the poor, writes Sholom Aleichem. Know that you are the
director of your life. Instead of thinking where you are, think about where you
want to be. It takes years of hard work to become an overnight success.
Success comes only to those who know when to work and when to play.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Choosing your words

Monday, October 30, 2006
Words, words, and words! This world moves with words. Have you ever
imagined how the world would operate in the absence of words? They may
help make or break your ambition, so your happiness depends on the words
you receive. A lot depends upon the words we use or abuse as we
communicate with those around us. The scriptures repeatedly remind us that,
with our words, we can encourage or discourage, forgive or condemn, lift up
or tear down.
The most powerful weapon in the world, I think, is not a gun or even a
nuclear bomb, but rather, its a tongue. I hope you wholeheartedly agree.
As we discuss relationships, the main issue that needs to be considered is
the sheer power of words. Words are easy to utter, often tumble out without
much reason or forethought. Those who hurl criticism or hostility at others
may not even mean or believe what they have said, or for that matter, they
may not even remember what they said, when, and why. Their comments may
reflect momentary jealousy, resentment, depression, fatigue or revenge, or
even senselessness or a wicked sense of humor. Regardless of the intent, harsh
words sting like killer bees. Almost all of us have lived through moments
when a parent, a sibling, a teacher, a friend, a colleague, a husband or wife
said something that cut to the quick. The hurt gets sealed for good in the
memory bank and may leave one with bitterness, anger; it stains permanently.
We should try hard to control the impulse of lashing out verbally; otherwise,
we will certainly regret it when the passion has cooled.
If one has hurt already, even inadvertently, he should wash out that stain
(hurt) as quickly as possible, for the longer it bakes in the heat of anger, the
smaller the chance will be of removing it. We should try to repair the damage
as quickly as possible. When one loses control and says something that has
deeply wounded a child, he or she must dress the wound before infection sets
in, including apologizing, if appropriate. Talk it out. Seek to reconcile.
Here are two examples that prove the sheer power of words and remind
you that words are remembered for a lifetime. If they are harsh and not
forgiven, they endure beyond the chilly waters of death. Words help make or
mar your memory about your loved ones.
Senator and the former First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton told a story
about her father, who never affirmed her as a child. When she was in high
school, she brought home a straight-A report card. She showed it to her father,
hoping for a word of commendation. Instead, he said, Well, you must be
attending an easy school. Almost four decades later the remark still burns in
Mrs. Clintons mind. His thoughtless response may have represented nothing
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more than a casual quip, but it created a point of pain that has endured this
day.
On the other hand, Maya Angelou, Americas famous poet, remembers her
glamorous mother who could not handle her small children, so Angelous
grandmother raised her until she was in her teens. Later as a 21 year old
mother, holding down two jobs and living on her own, Angelou, one day,
went to her mothers house and received unexpected praise. Angelou relates,
She looked at me and she said, Baby, you know at this minute I want to tell
you something. She has fox furs on, silver fox furs, and diamond earrings.
Angelou continues, She said, I think you are the greatest woman Ive ever
met. There is of course Eleanor Roosevelt, Mary McLeod Bethune, and my
mother. But you are in that category.
Her mothers words made Angelou think differently of herself and wonder,
Suppose I really am somebody. At the time her mother uttered those words,
Angelou was working on a cable car, and was far from the famous woman she
would become, but her mothers words gave her a sense of her future. Today,
we know the name and fame Maya Angelou has earned in the world of
literature and in society as a woman, a phenomenal woman.
The apostle Paul wrote more than two thousand years ago, Do not let the
sun go down while you are still angry (Ephesians 4:26, NIV). Though the
scripture applies to husbands and wives, I believe, it can be just as valuable in
dealing with others as well.
Use your words carefully to encourage or to help enhance someones selfesteem. By choosing your words carefully, you stand to make a positive
difference. If you cant say anything good, rather say nothing.
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A drop in the bucket; its worth it

Monday, December 11, 2006
As we returned to begin the new academic year, sweltering summer was

the major conversation theme. The summer vacations triple-digit
temperatures, the National Weather Service posting a heat advisory, excessive
energy use resulting in power failure, news about evacuations and deaths
caused by dangerous heat waves did not encourage me to be very productive.
Staying in an air-conditioned facility, I consoled myself with a quote by
Victor Hugo, "There is nothing like a dream to create a future." I tried to
convince myself that the hot hazy days of summer are to snooze and dream.
However, in addition to reading about Al Gores film documentary An
Inconvenient Truth, I watched multiple presentations, the first by Tom
Brokaw on Discovery channel and a couple by 60 Minutes: interviewing Dr.
Jim Hansen, worlds leading researcher on global warming, and second,
showing much of the evidence complied by American scientist Bob Corell,
who led a study called the Arctic Climate Impact Assessment, which awoke
me a little to think about global warming.
Global warming and resulting climate change is one of the most serious
environmental problems we are facing today. All main-stream scientists
acknowledge that global warming is really happening, and its man-made,
caused by pumping out greenhouse gases that trap solar heat. Since the
beginning of the 20th century, the mean surface temperature of the earth has
increased by about 1.1 F (0.6 Celsius). Warming in the 20th century is greater
than at any time during the past 400-600 years. Seven of the ten warmest
years in the 20th century occurred in the 1990s. 1998, with global temperatures
spiking due to one of the strongest El Nio on record was the hottest year
since reliable instrumental temperature measurements began.
The scientists illustrate what severe consequences we might have to face, if
we dont do anything about it. In addition, they optimistically state that
changes in human actions should make a difference in the future of the global
warming trend.
Some scientists have predicted that the global warming will cause rising
sea levels, permanently submerging current coastal areas, islands and some
other low-lying regions for the reason that the polar ice packs and the snow
packs atop the worlds major mountain chains have begun melting earlier in
the season and building up in lesser volume. This finding means increased
water run-off, during the rainy season leading to flooding, extreme erosion
and mud slides, followed by draughts in late spring and summer (when
melting snow run-off would normally feed streams). The higher level of
summer temperatures may also cause more moisture to evaporate from the
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land, as well as from streams and reservoirs meaning more threat of draught,
increasing heat induced deaths. Severe summer heat waves may cause power
shortages as air conditioners and refrigeration systems work overtime.
Naturally these kinds of changes will cause harm to animal habitats,
threaten the survival of rare and endangered plant and species, disrupt
agriculture (heightening the threat of famine), and endanger human homes.
Many animals, rodents and insects that carry infectious diseases, maybe
forced to migrate from their present homes in search of food and water, as
well as more comfortable and stable living conditions. The same will be the
case with humans. Famine will force people to migrate, invade; violence will
transpire leading towards fighting and war. The human race will be ruled by
the principle, Might is right and survival of the fittest.
Human activities that release heat-trapping gasses into the air are the
causes of global warming. The major elements are the ongoing destructions of
the worlds forests and the burning of fossil fuels like oil, gas, and coal,
releasing harmful gases, including carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrous
oxides.
Therefore, we need to make our home more energy efficient the more
electricity our appliances, lighting, heating, cooling, and entertainment
consume, the more fossil fuels are burned to produce electricity for our
homes. We can all help by turning off the lights and the TV when we really
dont need them, by changing our outfits instead of adjusting the thermostat
up and down, and by remembering, when it is time to replace your light bulbs,
to choose the bulbs that are maximum energy efficient. When it comes to
selecting new electronic appliances, look for the Energy Star symbol; it means
you are buying a highly energy efficient product. Finally, unplug appliances
that you are not using. Choose green transportation, walk, bike, take public
transportation, if possible. Think before you drive so that you can consolidate
errands in a fewer trips. Talk to friends, neighbors, and co-workers about
carpooling; experts say, even if you do it a couple days a week, you are
making a significant reduction in greenhouse emissions. Also, when it comes
time to buy a new car, think of high fuel efficiency maximum miles per
gallon means less fuel gets burned and fewer toxins released in atmosphere.
Its a win-win strategy; in addition to being a part of solution, you also save
your dollars. Plant trees if possible, which will help reduce greenhouse gasses
like CO2, carbon dioxide.
Therefore, as it comes to our home and work place, we should turn off the
lights and all the electronic equipment as we leave the facility (rooms, office,
and restroom). Stop wasting water by leaving taps to run in kitchen sinks and
restrooms. Recycle paper, plastic, and aluminum; and use products that are
made out of recycled material.
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If we cant keep global warming under one degree Celsius, Dr. Hansen
says, there is a great danger of passing some of these tipping points. If the ice
sheets begin to disintegrate, nothing can be done about it.
I was told in my childhood, If wise people tell you that its poison and if
you consume it, you are going to die, you better believe in it. Dont try to taste
poison to see if it kills you. Therefore, to control the harm caused by global
warming, we had better assume our responsibility to contribute positively as
much as we can to keep our Mother Earth pleased, calm and cool.
There is an old saying: If you are kicked out of the house by your spouse,
exiled by the supreme power of the land and, in the end, trapped in a
hurricane, where do you go to seek shelter? The ultimate power is Mother
Nature. One cant escape from her wrath, if you heat her up. This is our last
chance. We owe it to our children, grandchildren and to future generations.
Being accountable by making positive contribution, we are going to feel
happier. When we educate our children by our role modeling, they will
continue doing it for their children.
Though at times, our contribution may not seem substantial, even if its
just a drop in the bucket, its still worth it.
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Mandakini Hiremath
An instant hero
You might have watched on television news or read the story of unusual
rescue with happy ending on the NYC subway tracks.
On Wednesday, Jan. 3, 2007, while waiting for a downtown Manhattan
train with his two young daughters, Wesley Autrey, a 50 year old construction
worker, Navy veteran, and father of three, saw a teenager fall off a platform
into a subway track in front of an approaching train. Instinctively, he jumped
down to the tracks and rolled with the young man into the drainage trough
with only a couple of inches to spare between the rails as the two cars passed
over the men. After the train stopped, and Autrey heard bystanders scream, he
yelled, We are ok here, but Ive got two daughters up there. Let them know
their fathers ok.
Spectators cheered Autrey, hugged him and hailed him as a hero, though
Autrey didnt see it that way. I dont feel like I did something spectacular. I
just saw someone who needed help, he told the Times. I did what I felt was
right.
The overwhelmed parents of Cameron Hollopeter, a 19 year old film
student from Littleton, Massachusetts, expressed their gratitude to Autrey for
saving their sons life. Calling Autrey an angel in a telephone interview,
Camerons stepmother said, If he (Autrey) wasnt there, this would be a
whole different call; and his father adds, There are no words to properly
express our gratitude and feelings for his actions.
Though he insists, I am still saying Im not a hero, Autreys luck might
be smiling through his heroic deed. His telephone has been ringing off the
hook. He is being lauded by strangers and offered rewards and job
opportunities. Donald Trumps people offered him a $10,000 check. Besides
appearing on several morning television shows and David Lettermans CBS
Late Show, he was honored at City Hall by Mayor Michael Bloomberg.
And his daughters that were crying as they saw their father jump off the
platform down into the subway tracks were smiling to see that their dad was
being recognized as a hero.
We know how life does not always give us what we want, but Theres a
nick in Fortunes restless wheel for each mans good," writes George
Chapman. That element of chance might prove you lucky. Even at the
darkest moment, a miracle (though some may call it, just a fluke or being in
the right place at the right moment) might be lurking around.
Destiny or Fate concerns the fixed natural order of the universe. I believe
destiny plays prominent role in our everyday life. Mr. Autrey was destined to
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play his role this way which turned him into a hero instantly. The quality of
our lives is not determined only by happenstance.
The intrinsic value of the life we lead reflects the strength of a single
element, our personal character. Character is destiny, a sort of self-help guide
for the soul, which shows how we can lead richer lives simply by being better
people. Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as
well as think, confirms Ralph Waldo Emerson.
As Ernest Hemingway defines courage is grace under fire, Autrey saw the
need, left his young daughters unattended, and courageously jumped in to
fulfill the call. He could have died or been hurt, but a miracle was lurking
around him; instead he saved life with his impulsive act filled with grace. Mr.
Autrey is a man of character. He deserves all the cheer and accolades.
May God bless him with a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year, 2007
and many more to come.
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2004 ice storm -- plane crash in the Andes

Friday, January 26, 2007
Born and raised in an area of a country where one can survive wearing silk
outfits throughout the year, I naturally prefer a warm climate over severe cold.
Back home, we could manage winter by adding a piece of clothing to our
casual wear like woolen sweater, caftan or shawl and be comfortable. Thus,
you can see why its hard for me to forget the last week of January 2004.
Monday, January 26 dawned with bleak and bitter cold in Orangeburg, and
within hours the result was the areas worst winter disaster in the last three
decades. During this ice storm, we experienced loss of heat, TV, computer,
the Internet, and much of our contact with the outer world. I walked around
flipping electric switches, watched, through the sliding glass door, the Mother
Natures crystal display, or sat on a couch under layers of blankets listening to
disastrous snaps, crackles, and pops. I and my friends constantly stayed on the
phone and complained about being cold and invited each other to come over,
in vain. After four days of living without power in freezing temperatures, my
toes and fingers got numb. Fortunately, that evening, in our area electricity
was restored.
Reflecting on the icy fury that made Orangeburg look like a war zone, I
recalled reading about the plane crash in the Andes Mountains.
The Old Christians rugby team made up graduates of the Stella Maris
boys school in Carrasco, a suburb of Montevideo, Uruguay, chartered a plane
from the Uruguayan Air Force to compete in Santiago, Chile. To make the
rate per passenger more affordable, the Old Christians enlisted friends and
family to join them on the trip to fill the plane. On the morning of October 12,
1972, at 8:02 a.m., the Fairchild FH-227D took off with 40 passengers and 5
crew members from Carrasco. About 11:00 a.m., the Andes, shrouded in
clouds, came into view. The Fairchild, which was equipped to fly only as high
as 22,500 feet, couldnt fly above the Andes. It had to fly through them, Using
designated gaps or passes, between the peaks. After learning about the
inclement weather, the pilots landed in Mendoza for the night.
The Uruguayan Fairchild took off on October 13, at 2:18 p.m. As the copilot flew the plane, some tossed a rugby ball back and forth, some played
cards, some chatted, read; the passengers enjoyed a routine flight. At 3:24
p.m., not realizing that headwind had slowed the plane and thinking that he
was over Curico, the co-pilot radioed. Acknowledging, Santiago Control
ordered the co-pilot to turn north and descend to 10,000 feet. This would have
been fine if the Fairchild had been over Curico as the co-pilot reported, but
unfortunately, the plane was still within the mountains. About 3:30 p.m., the
Fairchild dipped into the clouds and encountered turbulence. The plane hit at
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least two air-pockets and swiftly sank below the clouds revealing mountains
on all sides. The pilots tried to pull the Fairchild out of the mountains in
vainly. At the altitude of 14,000 feet the right wing clipped a jagged mountain
peak. A split second later the left wing struck the rock and broke loose, the
propeller chewing into the cabin as the wing fragmented and fell to the
ground. In these first moments of the crash, five of the people in the rear of
the passenger cabin fell from the gaping hole where the tale had been to their
deaths. As the plane continued to forward through in the air, dropping down
into the mountain, the fuselage careened down. The sudden deceleration
caused the passenger seats to break loose from their mounting and fell forward
in a mass. As the fuselage continued ploughing down the mountain, two more
passengers were thrown down and one jumped from the mass of the seats. As
the slope began to level off, and the snow got deeper, the nose of the Fairchild
crumpled back, sandwiching the cockpit and the pilots before the fuselage
slammed to a halt in a deep bank of snow. The bulkhead separated the
passenger cabin from the forward luggage compartment. The passengers,
seats, luggage and other debris ended up in a pile at the forward end of
fuselage. Those few who were able to emerge from the heap and went out
through the hole where the tail had been noticed one was buried in snow and
other three dead in the passenger cabin. The team of three physicians and a
rugby player and his mother lay unconscious bleeding from head wound.
Another young man was found bled to death. Many survivors had leg injuries;
one had broken both legs, and one had landed on a steel pipe which stabbed
into his abdomen and remained there; amazingly after the pipe was removed,
he moved along to assist the others. The commander of the Fairchild had died;
the co-pilot was terribly injured. Nothing could be done for those who
suffered internal injuries.
The morning of October 14 arrived on the mountain, like the day before,
with frigid temperature and overcast sky. Four more died during that night and
one in the morning. Of the 45 people who set out from Montevideo on the
Fairchild two days before, only 27 remained.
The survivors held hope that they would be rescued. On the third day a
plane passed overhead, the survivor screamed and waved their hands in the
air, and they thought the plane had seen them, but the help didnt arrive. They
realized no one knew where they were.
The survivors built hammocks using luggage webbing and poles that were
stowed in the luggage compartment to help severely injured sleep better. The
others, though injured, were taking care and being helpful. One invented a
water making device out of the aluminum backing of a seat, so they stocked
several bottles of water. The only food that was left with was some chocolate,
crackers and jam, and some large bottles of wine and brandy; the pilots had
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bought in Mendoza. Realizing they would not be rescued soon, and the food
wouldnt last, they served one chocolate piece for everyone at a mealtime. If
they couldnt find another source of food, they would all die,
The survivors were left with a grim decision; they knew that the only way
to survive was to eat the flesh of their dead friends. There were 10 bodies left
in the cemetery. With much apprehension, and a pact that they will not use the
bodies of a mother and daughter, some ones nephew, they agreed to eat the
flesh. The meat was rationed as the chocolate had been. Some refused to eat it,
so they were given the rest of the dwindling chocolate. Soon the chocolate ran
out, and these few who refused reluctantly ate, as well.
With the introduction of proteins to their bodies, the survivors grew
stronger and were able to focus on how they would get out of the mountains.
On the 17th night on the mountain back to back two avalanches swept down
the valley. First avalanche covered the wreckage of the fuselage and all except
four survivors. The four dug for their friends. Nineteen made it through the
avalanche, but eight had died under the snow. An hour later, the second
avalanche passed over burying the plane. Their blanket and shoes were now
lost under the snow. With little room in the cabin, they tried hard that night to
keep from freezing. At the first sign of day, a group began to burrow through
the snow at the front of the fuselage and into the pilots cabin and to the
window, which faced the sky because of the tilt of the plane, the window was
pushed up through the layer of snow covering it up to the surface. For three
days they sat inside the tomb the avalanche had created. On November 1st, the
snowing stopped and they set about digging out. In a couple days they had
managed to make a tunnel out the rear of the fuselage to the surface, and
through this tunnel, they brought out most of the snow from the cabin and the
bodies of the friends who had died.
On the 62nd day, 3 of the surviving members left hoping to find Chile.
They brought with them sleeping bag made of the planes insulation and a
ration of food. For this expedition, they would have to climb high mountains;
around dusk they would stop setup camp. They slept in a sleeping bag that
kept them warm through the night. After day 4, the climb was more or less a
descent, and four more days of climbing down the mountain, they found green
field at the edge of the snow; a river split through the fields and beyond that
they saw a rancher tending his cattle. The rancher saw the disheveled men
running around on the other side of the roaring river. They screamed for help;
the noise of the river almost covered their cries. Seeing the rancher leaving,
they setup a camp for the night. Next morning, they saw the rancher standing
on the other side of the river. They communicated. Three hours later another
man riding a horse arrived on their side of the river and offered them some
cheese, and then he went to tend his cattle. He came back after an hour to take
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them to his hut. They were fed and given comfortable beds at the hut. The
host informed the first man who found them had gone to inform the
authorities of this discovery.
It was December 21, 70 days since they had crashed, 10 days since they
left the wreck of the Fairchild. On the mornings of the 22nd and 23rd five
helicopters flew over the Fairchild wreck sight to rescue the rest of the
remaining 14 survivors.
The thought of the January ice storm of 2004 instantly makes me repeat, I
never want to be that cold ever again. The human tendency is to look before
and after and pine for what is not. However, when I recall reading what the
survivors of the Fairchild crash went through, I bow my head to count my
blessings and thank for the God Almightys grace.
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Times surely have changed

Friday, March 30, 2007
This afternoon I was taking a stroll in the Edisto Memorial Garden. I saw
a bunch of energetic children running around, some swinging while screaming
and asking their parents to push, Higher Higher, so I sat on the bench to
enjoy watching the excitement. The mother of a preschooler came by and
asked, May I sit by you! I responded, Certainly. Asking if I was from
India and have children, she wanted to know the secret of why our children do
so well in school. She said, As many as I know, most of them are in
medicine. Are your children doctors too? I have educated children; they
dont practice medicine, though, I responded. Then she asked me how she
could raise a little girl so as to minimize adolescent rebellion down the road.
She said shed seen teenagers getting into drug abuse, premarital sex and other
harmful stuff. Therefore, she wanted to know if there was anything that she
could do now to assure her daughter a tranquil adolescent life.
When I was a teenager, my parents kept me out of trouble by setting an
example of how to behave by their role modeling and administering battalions
of rules; they had regulations for every misbehavior, and so did most other
parents. The culture then enforced those rules, and somehow they worked out
pretty well. But that wont get the job done here, today.
Today, its a different world. And there are just too many opportunities for
kids to go wrong. They still need boundaries and limits certainly, but
something else is required nowadays. They need the motivation to do right.
They need that desire to live responsibly that comes from a loving family that
cares and a loving relationship built through the years with parents who have
invested themselves in their kids.
Author Josh McDowell says, Rules without relationships lead to
rebellion. Parents need assertive efforts starting very early. Having fun with
the family, laughing, and talking are a part of the process of bonding together.
Parents need to make concentrated efforts to build relationships with their
children as a family. That is the best way to disarm the teenage time-bomb
before the fuse is lift.
Today, parents need to play a coachs role. If you remember the movie
Remember the Titans, how, knowing when the team takes the field, the
coach and his advice stay on the sideline, before the final game, the Coach
Herman Boone, (Denzel Washington) gathers all the players in the lockerroom and makes one last speech before they play. He reminds them of the
fundamentals and the pep talk about winning. Similarly, parents of pre-teens
must assume coaches role in guiding their kids in the right direction.
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Before entering elementary school, the children need to know right and
wrong and what to believe. Parents need to prepare in detail, before the big
contest called adolescence begins.
On several occasions, asked by curious mothers, if we parents do our
childrens homework, I responded, Absolutely not. When children are in
preschool or in elementary school, just make sure that they sit down to
complete their homework assignments. If they need help, guide them. The
most important thing is being there and watching them to do their work; i.e.
parents shouldnt be away watching TV or chatting, even on the phone, while
their kids are working on their homework assignments. Once the parents set
the standards they want their children to achieve and the children work to
reach that standard, the children will never satisfy with just passing grades;
they might get still better in their skills and studies than their parents
expectations.
Even more importantly, it is essential to teach our children the importance
of hard work and of faith in the God Almighty. When human efforts are
graced by divine power, success is attained easily.
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Living clean
Cleanliness is the absence of dirt, dust, stains, stench, and clutter, which
immediately may remind us of spring cleaning. It is a pathway to health and
strengthens the bodys immune system, thus the heart and mind. Hygiene,
sanitation, spotlessness, immaculate, purity are synonyms for cleanliness.
Physical hygiene is brushing our teeth, washing our body, combing our
hair, pedicure, manicure, wearing clean clothes, keeping the environment
clean to live, and eating the right food to keep our body healthy. However, to
lead a healthy life, just physical hygiene is not everything. We are not merely
the body. A human being is made of many aspects and keeping every aspect
clean and pure is required for one to live a physically, mentally and spiritually
healthy life. Physical and moral hygiene have been aspects of a civilized
manner and an essential part of rites and worship, as well.
We are told cleanliness is next to godliness. God is beautiful, and he loves
beauty, so he loves us who keep ourselves pure, clean, and beautified. Thus,
before one goes to the place of worship, he is required to purify himself.
Worship and prayers of an unpurified body, mind and soul are often
considered insincere. The worlds great religions place great emphasis on this
disciplines physical and spiritual aspects, making it an unavoidable
fundamental of faith. They teach their faithful how to live a sanctified life,
how to keep the body pure and clean, physically and morally. A moral
cleansing of a body means tending a mind, heart and spirit to work with hope,
patience, compassion, and protecting it from evil thoughts like jealousy,
hypocrisy, dishonesty and covetousness. In addition, the important part of this
ritual is we must learn to choose our words conscientiously. (In this respect,
one must remember the recent controversy of the radio personality Don Imus,
his comments about the members of the Rutgers University women's
basketball team and Presidential Hopeful, Senator John Kerrys botched
joke, which have cost them dearly.)
One of the most important truths concerning human character building was
spoken in passing by Solomon in proverbs 23:7: As a man thinketh in his
heart so is he. The thoughts of our mind are building blocks with which we
build our character. If a person permits himself to think often of evil, he will
soon be doing evil acts, falling into evil habits and finally living an evil life.
Cleanliness and pleasant appearances are the characteristics that help
strengthen relationships. Pure and good thoughts ennoble the character, uplift
the mind, and even exercise a wholesome influence upon the body itself;
whereas, evil thoughts have directly opposite power. As Stanley Walker
writes, Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will
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improve. Run around with decent folks and your decent instincts will be
strengthened. You are recognized by the company you keep, so you should
keep your association confined to well-mannered, virtuous people to help
maintain that sanctity.
Therefore, lets enrich our and our childrens lives by mending our
behavior, as The Times and Democrat Editor Lee Harter writes in his April 3
editorial, Cultivate a clean conscience, clean language. Lets be clean in
body, mind, language, thought, soul. Let us clean up our act. Oh how that will
rub off on children. Theyll grow up straight as little arrows. You will
laugh more. Be proud. Cleanliness, its said, is next to godliness. How can you
beat that?
Thus, we all will be able to live a clean, healthy long life, filled with
spiritual content. The message, in short, is that God loves those who live clean
life.
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Feedback means a lot to writers

Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Now that I have written more than 100 columns for The Times and
Democrat, it's time to express gratitude to my readers. Writing is a hard job; it
keeps the writer constantly engaged. If you are a writer, you already know it. I
enjoy doing it tremendously, though.
I remember when my son picked on me years ago, asking, "What are you
going to do, Mom, when I leave for Duke and Meena goes to UNC for her
doctoral program? How are you going to deal with the 'empty nest' situation?"
My response: "As Winston Churchill says, The optimist sees the opportunity
in every difficulty.' I believe when one door closes, another opens. When the
time comes, I am sure God will show me the way. My faith will make me
well."
The past half-decade has been great. There hasn't been a dull moment.
In addition to my regular work and writing columns occasionally for The
Times and Democrat , a local daily newspaper, I have been blessed with
multiple opportunities: for example, I served on the editorial board,
contributed to the creative art work section, and did design and layout for the
Claflin Review, a publication of the Department of English and Foreign
Languages. I have produced the School of Humanities and Social Sciences
Newsletter at least two editions per academic year and worked on the
academic affairs magazine Reflections.
As John Donne says, "No man is an island". All of these publications have
been the result of teamwork. Administrators, colleagues, students and wellwishers have befriended me, presented me with opportunities, encouraged me,
and contributed to each success.
I thank sincerely my colleagues Ms. Linda Hill, an assistant professor of
English and Dr. Louise Pollans, French professor for cordially working with
me as co-editors. I always enjoy and value their timely informative, editorial
comments.
Readers feedback means a lot to me. Here is some of the feedback:
As I walked in to attend a get-together on the university campus, I saw this
lady's beautiful smile and heard, "I always look forward to reading your next
column."
As I walked into Wal-Mart, one of our non-traditional students greeted me,
saying, "I enjoy reading and save the clippings of your columns. If you need
any, just let me know."
Last year, when I went to OfficeMax at the end of September, I heard
someone saying, "Keep them coming. Keep them coming. I love them." As I
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looked at him questioningly, he plainly said, "Oh! I mean your columns. I

enjoy reading them."
I greatly appreciate having received three complimentary telephone calls
and a letter from attorney Austin Cunningham pertaining to my columns:
Crucifix, not a symbol of death, If life offers you lemons, and Life goes on.
I am always touched by retired colleague Mrs. Elizabeth Rose's brief
telephone calls and voice mail messages. When I hear her mild, sweet voice,
"It's a great column, my dear. I enjoyed reading it," I feel gratified.
Reading my Thanksgiving column, Lee Williams, manager of the Edisto
Federal Credit Union, e-mailed, "I enjoyed reading Be thankful for every little
perk. It made me think about all the things I take for granted each day. After
reading it I said, Thank you, God, for all my blessings.'"
I thank Dr. Peggy S. Ratliff, the School of Humanities and Social Sciences
dean, Dr. George E. Miller III, vice president for academic affairs, and Dr.
Henry N. Tisdale, president of Claflin University for encouraging me by
giving an opportunity to work on publications. I will always be grateful to Dr.
Howard Hill, former vice president for academic affairs at Claflin, for his
encouragement and for staying in touch with me through e-mail. Dr. Hill's
words of encouragement in his tiny electronic complimentary messages have
boosted my confidence in my ability, and have made all the difference.
It's nice to receive the rare compliments of the editor of The Times and
Democrat, Lee Harter. Reading The Class of 9/11 and what really happened
to the class of '65, he gingerly commented, "Nice analogy!" And about the
futuristic column, Living life in 2000 A.D., his e-mail response was, "This was
a very interesting column developed nicely with a cool ending. Know readers
enjoyed."
I was pleasantly surprised to receive an appreciative letter from Gov. Mark
Sanford regarding my T&D column about the Battle of Somme, especially, the
ending words of his letter: "Keep up the good work and take care." I carry
them with me as a source of inspiration.
Above all, I felt very touched when I received feedback from our students.
It showed that they read and care enough to talk with me about it. Although
quite a few frequently talked about my columns in person, only a few left
detailed handwritten notes about each column they read; Ashlei Gerald, a May
2006 Claflin graduate, was one among these. Here I quote just a few sentences
she wrote about the Matriculation 2005 column, The class of 9/11 and what
really happened to the class of '65: "I thoroughly enjoyed the article. I liked
the fact that you portrayed our generation positively, unlike others who seem
to have nothing positive to say about us ... and I can't wait to read the next
one."
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Mandakini Hiremath
I am extremely grateful for the compliments. They show that you care. It is
the kind of commendation that fuels a writer's desire to continue doing his or
her best ... for an appreciative audience. I am aware that compliments are
never free of charge.
Addendum: I was fortunate enough to earn my students trust. They told me
anything and everything that bothered them. As you read my columns, you
may encounter quite a few columns featuring, addressing to my students.
After reading my columns quite a few of them critiqued my writings by
handwritten notes or e-mails. Below is the note Ms. Ashley Capers, a senior,
professional English major at Claflin University wrote in September 2009:
Good Morning Mrs. Hiremath,
I had the opportunity to read the columns you selected for me, and I found them very
pleasant. I enjoyed each one for different reasons. Here are my comments:
The columns you wrote are not only entertaining, they were also informative. In the
article Do You Want to be That Person, I like how you took a public figure (Bristol
Palin) and related her to someone so close. Life always seems to take unexpected
turns, and (I feel) that you did a wonderful job using teenage parenting and birth as
one of the main 'unexpected turns'. Not only was this situation learning experience
(for the both of you), the two of you were able to form an unexpected relationship.
Next, Waking Up: One of Those Days, is the second column I read. I liked this one
because it shows that everyone has talents or gifts that are unique to the person. The
last column, Pick-Me-Up Moment: A Success Story was indeed a (touching) story of
success. All three stories tell of unexpected relationships and success; stories that
motivate its readers.
Thank you so much for this opportunity! Off to class!
Forbidden fruits are not always the sweetest.
For the most part, Mrs. Hiremath, I am a very positive person. I try hard to keep my
head up and not take any wooden nickels. However, complaining keeps me sane to a
certain extent. I know that complaining keeps me abreast of what I have on my "To
Do" List. LOL
PS: I have featured Ashley Capers in my column entitled A little complaining

is good, which is posted in Creative Works of Art section.
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The Blue Moon

Monday, May 2, 2007
We will see full moon appear twice in May 2007, the first will appear on
May 2nd and the second will appear on May 31st. The full moon of June 31st is
called the Blue Moon. The phrase blue moon appears to have been
associated with a colloquial expression long before it developed as a calendar
event. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the first reference to the
blue moon comes from a proverb recorded in 1528: If they say the moon
is blue, we must believe that it is true. This statement indicates an obvious
absurdity. In this case, blue moon means never. In astronomical terms, blue
moon has nothing to do with the color, though at times, the moon seems to
be tinted blue, pink, or red. The moon may seem tinted only because the light
is scattered by tinted dust particles in the atmosphere.
Thus, according to the learned definition, blue moon is the second full
moon to occur in a single calendar month. In addition, in the 19th century, the
phrase once in a blue moon developed. Once in a blue moon is a common
way of saying not very often.
For a blue moon to appear, the first full moon must appear at or near the
beginning of a month so that the second will fall within the same month. The
average length of a month is roughly 30.4 days. The average span between
appearances of a full moon is 29.5 days. February is shorter than the lunar
cycle; therefore, a blue moon may appear in any month of the year, except
February. It is calculated that a blue moon appears 41 times a century, so we
can state that once in a blue moon actually means not very often i.e. once in 21/2 years, on average. Such was the case on July 31, 2004; the moon was full
on the 2nd and the 31st, making the full moon on the 31st the Blue Moon.
After this blue moon, astronomers calculate that the next blue moon will
appear on December 31, 2009, depending on the time zone.
The moon has been compared with the brain. Aristotle considered them,
both moon and brain, as cold, moist and insensitive. He reckoned that the
brain became moister and fuller under a waxing moon than under a waning
moon. Aristotles belief is not very far from the popular belief that the moon
can affect the mind, leading to lunacy and becoming moon-struck.
Lunatic, Loony, Loony-tunes: all of these terms come from the word
lunar, which means of or pertaining to the moon. The legend has it that
the full moon brings out the worst in people: more violence, suicide,
accidents, and aggressions of all kinds. The moons influence on ones
behavior is called The Lunar Effect. The belief that the full moon causes
mental disorders and strange behavior was wide spread throughout Europe in
the middle ages. In addition, a survey done in the U. S. finds two-thirds of
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emergency room doctors believe that the moon influences human behavior.
Thus, enchanting the moon has been an enigma, a mystery to believing
westerners who follow the solar almanac.
On the other hand, the Moon in Vedic astrology is called Chandra and
Soma. Chandra means bright and shining and Soma is named after an
intoxicating sacred drink used in Vedic sacrifice. Hindu/Indian astrology is
based on the Moon-sign, the lunar almanac. Hindus celebrate their birthdays
according to the moons position and the sign the moon had entered at their
birth.
The bright moon is considered most auspicious; whereas, the dark moon is
considered ominous. The moon is faster than other visible objects; it is known
as a hare or a rabbit in Vedic lore. The moon is held accountable for many
happenings. The moon is an indicator of a mother, females in general, the
publics general well-being and happiness, femininity and beauty. It is
considered an enhancer of eyesight, memory, and mind. It is also connected to
fertility and a plentiful harvest. It is believed that moonlight has healing
power. The moon causes nightfall, strengthens the mind, purifies the blood
and is considered in legend as the mother who radiates nectar. Worshipping
the moon is said to be beneficial, a relief from all sorts of sorrows. Thus, for
the believers who observe the lunar almanac, the blue moon is a twofold
blessing in one month.
The moon is indicative of the mind; whereas, the sun is an indicator of the
soul. Moon is the vehicle of the mind that receives the light of the soul from
the sun. Though the moon generates no light of its own, it shines through the
reflective dazzling light of the sun. The glorious light of the sun is reflected in
its full splendor through the full moon.
May that same glorifying light from the soul of the sun shine upon us, help
cure our afflicted faculties by radiating cool rays of happiness around us. May
the Blue Moon turn twice a blessing for all of us.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Honor and integrity

Friday, May 18, 2007
A while ago, I watched a news segment about an eighty-two-year-old man

using his cane to drive off a mugger with a gun. This mugger drove in front of
Mr. Robert Flynns house in Greensboro, North Carolina, and asked him a
cigarette. On being told, I dont have one, the mugger got out of his car,
leveled his gun and demanded money.
Instead of handing over his wallet, Mr. Flynn hit the shotgun with his cane
and ran. The mugger chased the victim and threatened him with the gun,
again. This time Mr. Flynn hit the mugger with his cane over the head and
shoulders. The mugger ran back to his car empty-handed.
News like this makes us query ourselves as to what makes one become a
parasite in society. Why would one want to live off by snatching from elderly
citizens like Mr. Flynn? Whatever happened to respecting and being helpful
to the elderly? Incidents like these make us wonder if good people are things
of the past. Saddened, I was about to turn the TV off; however, the title of
the next segment, Homeless man rewarded for good deed, held me back.
A homeless man, Charles Moore found $21,000 worth of U. S. saving
bonds in a Detroit trash bin while he was searching for returnable bottles.
Taking the U. S. Saving Bonds back to the homeless shelter, he handed those
over to a staff member who tracked down the family who owned them. For his
good deed the owners son gave Moore $100, but some people thought he
deserved more. Reportedly, the donations rolled in.
One man sent him eight trash bags full of returnable bottles and a bowl of
coins. Two business men donated a $1,200 shopping spree and a lead on a job.
In all, Moore has received more than $4,000. Grateful, Moore says he will use
the money find an apartment. And he is happy to see that a good deed pays
off.
Stories like these renew our faith in the goodness of people, especially
when we see rich character traits, like honesty, displayed in those who are
called poor or unfortunate. The people around him may forget the amount of
the saving bonds he returned, but they wont forget what he is made of! They
will remember his good deed. And Mr. Moore will feel rewarded, happy and
content. Our society needs to focus on positive deeds that exemplify kindness,
honesty and integrity more often, and reward and widely publicize these
exemplary deeds.
We have violence around the world, scandals in Washington, cheating on
Wall Street, serial killers, even amoral muggers about whom we watch on the
television news. However, when we find honesty and integrity in our
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neighborhood, we realize that goodness is not the thing of the past; it is still
alive.
There are plenty of good people who are recognizing the honesty of this
homeless man, Charles Moore, and are making him feel rewarded. By
recognizing this poor mans honesty, these good people in society are
encouraging others to follow the path of honesty and integrity.
Thank goodness! Hope exists!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Buckle in with a bit of a grin

Surviving through persistence
Calvin Coolidge asserts the omnipotence of persistence and determination:

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not;
nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not;
unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of
educated derelicts.
Here is a powerful story of survival through persistence, an inspiring true
tale of triumph of a human spirit, a testament to the power of hope and hard
work. We are told time and again: Live your dream and focus on your dream.
Dr. Q, director of brain tumor surgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore,
has gained reputation at 39 of being one of the best up-and-coming
neurosurgeons in the country. His patients say: He was born to be a doctor. He
is clinically brilliant and relentlessly charming. However, this success neither
was placed on a silver platter to hand it over to him nor was it a walk in the
park. For that matter, it was a kind of success usually achieved in a casual
manner by American children born to two well-to-do parents.
Dr. Q has earned every bit of it.
Dr. Q remembers his same hands being rubbed now as they are being
washed before performing brain surgery have picked weeds. Just 20 years
ago, this renowned neurosurgeon was as unknown as any human being,
especially as an illegal alien, can be in America.
Alfredo Quinones-Hinojosa, who is addressed today as Dr. Q, was born in
Mexico. With a childhood dream of being a doctor, he jumped the U.S.Mexico border, took up residence in a leaky old trailer and picked weeds to
make a little money to survive and to send as much as possible to his parents
back home. He says, The moon seemed closer than medical school. But, he
adds, he had this passion to learn everything.
He was picking weeds; then he got a job on a tractor; then when he started
working as a welder, he went to community college to learn English; then the
University of California Berkeley. Earning good grades with diligence at
Berkeley, he says, My life really began to take off. The next steps were
getting U.S. citizenship and receiving a Harvard Medical School scholarship.
He graduated with cum laude. In between, hes squeezed in time for a family.
Now you know the rest.
Its certainly a remarkably inspiring story. Though the fact is that this
country is made of immigrants, Dr. Qs fence-hopping makes it controversial.
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The last thing that I want is for people to think what I have done is justified.
The only thing I can do is try to pay back with every single thing I do,
assures the doctor.
Dr. Q spends much of his time doing research to find a cure for brain
cancer and hopes it makes amends. However, boldly and firmly, he admits if
he had to do it all over again, hed cross it again in a heartbeat. Its human
nature to try to find ways to survive, he justifies. Its human nature; its not
rocket science.
Even with the best of maps and instruments, we can never fully chart our
journey, wrote author and reviewer Gail Pool. Whatever be the controversy,
as far as persistence is concerned, I believe, Dr. Q is a living testament to the
poem, It couldnt be done, written by Edgar A. Guest. Here I quote a few
appropriate lines:
There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done.
However,
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quit it
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldnt be done. And he did it.
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Hug your children tight

Sunday, August 5, 2007
Raising children isnt been as easy as it was for the past generations. There
was a time when parents, religious affiliation and faith were the major
influence. Now, mass media play a major role in our childrens lives.
Nowadays, while parents are busy working sometime with multiple jobs to
provide for their family, our children are being influenced by advertising
commercials and exposed to violence and sex, and are guided by television,
video games, even internet-chat-rooms. Peers have become their role models.
There are so many opportunities to go astray, including succumbing to alcohol
and drugs, and unsafe sex.
Parents burn candles on both ends to create a safe haven and try to keep
their children levelheaded. They feel proud and fortunate enough for raising
decent kids. Still there are no guarantees whats in store for everyone when
the children leave home.
One of the most difficult things about parenting is knowing when and
how to let the children go. But with the start of a new academic year, after
advising them about dos and donts and moral priorities, parents have no
choice but to send their children to the local schools or away for higher
education. Hug them tight before sending them away and pray and keep your
fingers crossed in hopes that everything goes well.
As young children are sent out, parents have to worry about sexual
predators and social-psychopaths and drugs like Ritalin which is irresponsibly
prescribed for millions of children. Todays children are smart. They are
zealous and over achievers. At our time, kids like these were called brats,
but today, they are labeled as attention-deficit disorder and prescribed
Ritalin, though theres only controversial evidence that ADS exists and Ritalin
(a stimulant in the same family as cocaine) may have permanent therapeutic
value. But it certainly raises negative side effects.
Parents, if your children are leaving home for campus life, advise them
against drinking. If they are looking forward to joining fraternity or sorority,
alert them about hazing rituals. When it comes to life or death situations,
make sure that they know staying alive, even without joining their peers is a
lot better than being dead.
Its a sad but recurring campus story. In autumn of 2004, students drank
themselves to death. Colorado State student Samantha Spady had consumed
as many as 40 drinks when she was found dead at a fraternity house. In
addition, Lynn Gordon Bailey was taken to the mountains near the University
of Colorado with fellow Chi Psi Fraternity pledges and told not to leave until
several bottles of whiskey were finished. Blake Hammontree at University of
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Oklahoma had blood alcohol content more than five times the legal limit. At
the University of Arkansas, Bradley Barrett Kemp had downed a dozen beers.
All those deaths and many more were officially ruled alcohol poisoning. The
vast majority of the estimated 1,400 alcohol-related deaths each year among
college students come in automobile accidents, go largely unnoticed.
Debbie Smith sent her son, 21 year-old Matt Carrington, away to college in
August of 2004. In the first week of February 2005, within six months, they
called to inform her that he was dead. The most ridiculous thing is Matt
Carringtons death was caused by drinking water, not alcohol. Authorities said
the fraternity members kept him up all night ordering him to do pushups and
slashing him with cold water and forcing him to drink gallons of water. His
mother was told: It was the water that killed her son. Carrington wanted to be
a member of Chi Tau. Michael Carrington, the father, divorced from Debbie
Smith, didnt know that Matt had collapsed, was vomiting and was already
suffering from hypothermia, and his brain stem was swollen from water
intoxication.
Fortunately, seems like, after all, there is a ray of hope as far todays
teenagers are concerned. Time magazine recently polled 500 thirteen yearolds online to get a glimpse of their world. The results are surprisingly
positive. Unlike the 20th century rebellious teens, todays 13 year-olds tend to
get along with their parents, are less likely to drink or do drugs, and are highly
focused, competitive, and determined to succeed. Whether it is sports, the arts,
or academics, todays young teens are in it to win it, says Claudia Wallis, an
editor at Time. She adds, They are seeking perfection. They want to look
perfect, perform perfectly, maintain a perfect school record. And you know,
be the well-rounded, ideal package.
Todays go-go teenagers are cheerleaders, no longer just one among the
crowd. Athleticism, the endless practice, rising cost, academic requirements
push the teens to the edge. They think, the fact that, theyre in more
conservative time than their parents reflecting on them.
However, the deaths caused by hazing and drinking do not make any sense.
What a waste of precious life! And what a torturous pain parents have to
endure! Burying ones own child is the hardest thing ever any parents have to
do. Hug them tight and advise before you say good-bye. Ask them not to test
poison to see if it kills and hope that they learn from others experience. After
all its their time, their life and their choice. So let us keep our fingers crossed
in hopes that our children make wise choices.
A period in every persons life 16 27, called the critical decade, is capable
of helping one to make or break decisions. Lets hope this trend exhibited by
Time magazine poll helps to ease a little bit of parents worries for the future
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and our children learn from others experience like these to keep themselves
from harms way. May God bless them with long prosperous healthy life.
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Hope and endurance

Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Let us hope that this hurricane season turns out to be as mild as last years.
However, its hard to forget Hurricane Katrina and how the residents of New
Orleans faced the ravenous wrath of Mother Nature. As the scriptures
document vast and magnificent nature, they describe the awe-inspiring scope
of cosmic time cycles.
He conquers who endures is the mantra. Endure is defined as to remain
firm under, to bear with patience, to put up with, to sustain, to suffer, to
tolerate, to continue.
Nature is miserable, states Bhagavad-Gita. Nature is a place of pain, where
everything thats born has to die. No human being is able to control Mother
Nature. Only God alone can control nature. Thus ultimately our faith in the
Heavenly Fathers grace alone will enable us to endure the lifes atrocities
panned by nature.
As I think of a story of endurance, I remember the NBC News broadcast by
journalists Ron Allen in March of 2006. The heading of the story was
Rebuilding homes and a life in Lakeview after double dose of tragedy. This
is a story of the power of endurance of a man who devoted himself not only to
rebuilding his home but also to reviving the neighborhood.
Today, Darren Schmolke lives in an immaculate four-bedroom house with
a swimming pool out back - the first house rebuilt in the neighborhood of
Lakeview, when all of the nearly 10,000 residences of Lakeview are gone.
This is a living exquisite documentary of a man with aching heart who
overcame the disastrous Katrina tragedy only with his faith and endurance.
Schmolke builds houses for a living. He took a little over two months to
rebuild this house. He was asked, But why rebuild here, and make it even
better than before?
My wife and I built this house three years ago, Schmolke responded.
And Katrina destroyed their dream. Tara, Schmolkes wife, died in a car
accident while the family was evacuated, and they lived in Florida.
They had an awesome relationship. They were truly soul mates, the loves of
each others lives, reminisces Schmolkes mother-in-law.
Thus rebuilding their house was an attempt for Schmolke to rebuild his life
in the memory of his beloved wife. I figured my wife was my cheerleader
when she was here and that shouldnt change, so we did it, confirms
Schmolke.
He is also inspired by his 2-year-old son, Luke. He wants his son to grow up
in the family neighborhood.
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Im gonna tear that house down and put something very nice on top of it,
Schmolke explained as he walked past the houses victimized by Katrina. Hes
determined to help rebuild the entire neighborhood. He had then nearly two
dozen projects under way. People often stopped by for inspiration and to say,
Thank you.
What an inspiring story! Instead of wallowing in his own sorrow and tragic
loss and playing a victim, he brought an inner transformation in him to live a
life inspired by joy, irrespective of the outer circumstances. He is determined
to provide for brighter future to his son.
Positive stories of hope and endurance like these carry universal effects.
They stand tall with lasting lessons. As Douglas Pagels writes, Hope is a
beautiful answer to many questions. Hope in hanging in there until help
arrives. Whenever the day didnt go as planned, hope is there as a comforting
guide to help you understand. Hope is the warm and welcomed knowledge
that beautiful possibilities exist. When hope is all you have got, you still have
got a lot, he promotes timeless encouragement to those who are going
through lifes ordeals. After all, natures law is there is sunrise in the womb of
every sunset.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Blessed or cursed?
Lessons from the life of Andre the Giant
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Imagine how you would feel if your parents failed to recognize you when
you returned after five years of being estranged from them; what if you were
robbed of the simple pleasures of life like going to movies, shopping, learning
to play piano; what if were rejected as a military recruit because that it had no
shoes or uniform large enough to fit you? Imagine being hospitalized, though
there is no equipment that fit your size, nor surgical instruments, no crutches
for you to use afterward; even your last simple wish, like being cremated with
dignity after death, were to be deceived.
This may sound like a myth; however, every bit of it was true for Andre
the Giant. Andre Rene Roussimoff was born in Grenoble, France, on May 19,
1946. Working on the farm, eating the food and breathing the rural air, he kept
on growing. Andre was afflicted with acromegaly, a painful hormonal
imbalance causing abnormal lifelong growth. Andres disease elevated him to
over 6 feet tall and more than 200 pounds by age 12. By then, he could do the
work of a man.
One day raking hay beside his father, Andre saw a friend of the farms
owner slowly driving a Rolls-Royce past the field. I will own such a car as
that someday, said Andre as he paused to watch the elegant machine glide
by. Stop dreaming and start raking, his father replied. You are a big boy,
but that dream is too big even for you.
Two more summers passed; Andres body as well as his dreams continued
to wax. Neither his clothes nor his circumstances seemed ever to fit. Finally at
14, he left his home and family and headed to Paris to seek his fortune.
Noticing his immense stature and strength, a furniture-moving firm hired him.
Impressed, the firm encouraged him to develop his already-considerable skills
as a rugby player. When he turned 17, he was seen training at a gym by
several professional wrestlers. Taken by his size, they showed him some of
their moves and regaled him with tales of their travels and adventures. When
one of them was injured soon after and a replacement was needed for a match,
Andre was asked to perform. As expected, he was a huge success. He realized
he had found his calling.
By his early 20s, he had wrestled in Algeria, South Africa, Morocco,
Tunisia, England, Scotland, and most of non-communist Europe.
By the time Andre had performed in front of 20,000 wrestling fans in
Montreal, his legend had reached Vince McMahon Sr. at the World Wide
Wrestling Federations headquarters. McMahon would forever alter Andres
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life. In 1972, McMahon signed Andre to wrestle for the WWWF and changed
his name to capitalize on his colossal size.
Andre the Giant became one of the most recognizable names in
wrestling. He performed under his new name at Madison Square Garden,
where he easily defeated his opponents. Before long, Andres venues were
sold out and wrestlers lined up to perform in his shadow. As Andres fame
grew to stardom, he was featured in Sports Illustrated in the largest feature
they had ever published. Inspired by the movie King Kong, he acquired the
nickname, The 8th Wonder of the World, which stayed with him for the rest
of his career.
In 1987 Andre drew the biggest crowd in WWF (formerly WWWF) history
thus far. A record 90,000 fans packed the Pontiacsilver Dome in Detroit to
watch Andre wrestle fellow legend Hulk Hogan in the main event of
WrestleMania III. In all, Andre participated at six WrestleManias and faced
some of the toughest opponents in the business, including Big John Studd and
Jake The Snake Roberts. For many years he was known as the Uncrowned
Champion.
In almost every facet of Andres life he was constrained by his size,
brought low by the Lilliputian world in which he must exist. Terry Todd
writes in To the Giant among us: After five years, having been estranged
from his parents, Andre drove in a Rolls-Royce to visit them. He had grown
so large that even his parents failed at first, and even second, glances to
recognize him, or to connect the giant they had seen on television with the
gangly dreamer who had hiked himself to Paris.
At the age of 35, Andre was 7 feet, 4 inches tall, and weighed
approximately 500 pounds. With no weightlifting and no help from steroids,
he stood astride professional wrestling both literally and figuratively the
largest, highest-paid and best-known performer in the game of his time.
Unlike other professional wrestlers, forfeiting all personal comforts, Andre
logged tens of thousands of miles each year by air and standard auto and
stayed in a different hotel or motel that was not equipped for his size almost
every night of the year. Though he had a lovely home equipped for his unique
needs near Ellerbe, N.C., he lived in it just a week or so each year.
He talked about the related tribulations of size and travel. It was hard for
him to live normally with his immense body, since many times he had to ride
for several hundred miles in the front seat of a car, which always left him with
a stiff back and neck. He had to bend his neck and hold his head between his
shoulders to be able to ride in a car at all. Feeling always so hunched up, he
couldnt see out very well.
If he had to squeeze into a cab and succeeded, he would be unable to close
the door. The simplest things presented problems. He used a pencil to dial a
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telephone, because his fingers wouldnt fit into the holes in the dial of
contemporary phones. He had to choose his chairs carefully. Going through a
revolving door, he had to bend and take tiny shuffling steps to make the door
revolve. He couldnt even consider learning to play a piano because he would
strike three white keys with one finger. Bathing in an average motel was an
experience ranging from the unpleasant to the impossible.
In an A&E documentary, Arnold Skaaland mentioned how Andre wished
he could see a Broadway play. Arnold offered to go buy tickets, but Andre
then passed up the opportunity, saying he was too big for the seats and that
people behind him would not be able to see. This was cited as a principal
reason why Andre frequented taverns more than anywhere else.
Tired of people asking him how tall he was or how much he weighed, he
went to restaurants in the middle of the afternoon or late at night. He was quite
polite; he liked to make a nice impression, but at times it was hard. I would
give much money to be able to spend one day per week as a man of regular
size. I would shop, and I would go to the cinema, and drive around in a sports
car and walk down Fifth Avenue and stare at the other people for a change,
sadly, he yearned.
However, he expressed time and again his gratitude and hope: I have had
good fortune, and I am grateful for my life. If I were to die tomorrow, I know
I have eaten more good food, drunk more beer and fine wine, had more
friends and seen more of the world than most men ever will. I have had
everything in life but a family, and I hope to have that one day. For now, I
know a family wouldnt work, because of my traveling, but one day, who
knows, I might myself have a giant for a grandson. He was happy to provide
financially for his parents and normal-sized siblings.
Andres fame also opened the door to Hollywood. He made his acting
debut in 1975 as Big Foot in The Six Million Dollar Man. Andre enjoyed
the experience and went on to appear in television shows including B.J. and
the Bear, The Fall Guy and The Greatest American Hero and movies such
as Conan the Destroyer, Micki and Maude, and Trading Mom. His favorite
role, and the one for which he is best remembered, was the lovable giant
Fezzik in Rob Reiners classic The Princess Bride.
Andre was the epitome of wrestling throughout the 70s. His last television
appearance was on a celebration of 20 years of NWA/WCW wrestling on
TBS.
Sadly, over the years the effects of acromegaly had continued to wear
down his body. Eventually his worn heart stopped sufficiently pumping for his
immense stature. Andre the Giant died on January 27, 1993, in his hotel room
in Paris, France; he was there to attend his fathers funeral.
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Andres last wishes were to be cremated. However, there was no crematorium

in France that could handle his immense frame, so his body was shipped back
to America for cremation. His ashes were later taken home and spread over
his North Carolina ranch.
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Decreasing daylight brings the SAD days

Autumn equinox brings decreasing daylight, can be linked to Seasonal

Affective Disorder
God said, "Let there be light;" and there was light.
And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the
darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night -Genesis 1: 3-5
The harvest time and summer activities are winding down. Tuesday, Sept.
21, is the autumn equinox. The autumn equinox divides day and night equally.
From this day forward, each day starts getting gradually shorter and shorter
and the nights longer and longer. Decreasing sunlight turns the green of nature
into gray and leaves start falling, gradually.
Thus, a cheerful mood of summer turns sullen as autumn progresses.
Light is an important factor for each life on the planet. More recently, sunlight
is being proven to affect human emotions and influence sleep cycles.
How people feel is related to the amount of sunlight they view.
Studies have suggested that weather is an important factor in forming an
individual's mood, attitude and behavior. A clear, sunny and warm atmosphere
propagates happy, energetic and confident attitudes; whereas, a stormy,
cloudy, foggy, rainy atmosphere may propagate varied moods, such as
dullness, sullenness and lethargy. Thus, the larger the number of bright
daylight hours, the brighter and more cheerful are the people.
At times, mood changes are diagnosed as a syndrome called Seasonal
Affective Disorder, which is basically a universal depression. However, no
one is quite certain why the change in the seasons and the amount of sun
received by an individual play such an important role in mood and depression.
The most common treatment is about light, especially sunlight or artificial
reproduction of it. Special lights have been created to provide artificial
sunlight to fight the depression and remedy this disease. People who live in
Alaska and survive the cycles of 24-hour daylight and darkness light their
windows with happy light to protect themselves from mood changes or SAD.
The lack of daylight may afflict both the young and the adult. But for the
youth, the resilience and active lifestyle make all the difference. On the other
hand, the lack of activity and company, added to the seasonal changes, may
afflict the elder generation, leading them to depression.
Studies continue to suggest that rigorously engaging one's mind throughout
life can help prevent depression or the loss of mental acuity. The challenge of
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the younger generation is to keep the elderly engaged in socially and mentally
stimulating activities by encouraging them join a book club, play scrabble and
chess, do crossword puzzles, or even sign up for a class at a local college to
prevent this disease. No artificial light that is created in a laboratory can be a
substitute for human love and care. The younger generation needs to savor
and light up the lives of the elderly by letting them know they are loved and
wanted, as the roles are being reversed.
The younger generation with all its youthful energy and resources has the
opportunity to be "the salt of the earth -- the light of the world" (Matthew 5:
13-14). Let the light shine where it is much needed. Let the elderly see and
appreciate the good works of the younger generation.
Aging is a process. Eventually, it is going to catch all of us. If you see the
very last of the leaves which still cling to the bough of life that budded in the
spring years ago, as Oliver Wendell Holmes describes in his poem,
"The Last Leaf":
And if I should live to be
The last leaf upon the tree in the spring
Let them smile as I do now,
At the old forsaken bough where I cling
Show respect, concern, and care. And let them know that they are
appreciated. We must remember the elders are the backbone of our society.
They are richer, smarter and stronger characters by experience.
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Enough Already!
Friday, September 28, 2007
Recently, when I turned on the TV to watch the news, there were in serious
headline stories hot news about Paris Hilton, Nicole Richey, Lindsay Lohan,
or Brittany Spears that usually is relegated to supermarket gossip mags. Not
being interested, I quickly changed the channel. As I surfed past Larry King
and moved on to Nancy Grace, there was no escape. One must watch these socalled Hollywood starlets behaving badly.
These starlets have kept the media excited, the teenagers overwhelmingly
indulged and the people who watch important news seriously annoyed. These
young people need to be reprimanded because their partying, out-of-control
drug or liquor-induced meltdowns, driving under the influence, crashing their
cars, driving without a license or heading the wrong way in the HOV lane,
could, besides a jail sentence or police record, lead to the deaths of innocent
people, or even their own.
With the beginning of the new academic year, each parents serious
responsibility here, where mass media play a major role in our childrens
lives, is to talk with their children and make sure their children know the
world these spoiled so-called celebrities live in is not the world for them. They
must know that if they are jailed for behaving stupidly, as are these so-called
celebrities, there will be no paparazzi photographers waiting and rushing
crazily toward them as they escape from their imprisonment. There will be no
special massage equipment purchased to pamper their imprisoned body or a
vacation waiting to treat them.
The media want to portray young Hollywood as spinning out of control.
Normally, dignified anchors like Diane Sawyer, Barbara Walters, Matt Lauer,
Anderson Cooper, Larry King would report briefly on the life, trial and
tribulations of teen queens. However, recently, these spoiled brats have
received a level of coverage more fitting for heads of state or catastrophic
disasters. All of these media attention over these starlets and its probable
negative influence on our children have caused tremendous concern to the
parents of teenagers. Its no surprise, if they are on the brink of screaming,
Enough already!
Our children must know that however good looking they are, they do not
have a designer wardrobe, personal body trainer, makeup and hair artist. And
they must be wary of the fact that beauty is only a skin-deep. Real people
everywhere are found guilty for the same behavior and addictions these
strayed starlets are heralded for. Our childrens brains and accountability are
the real assets for them, if they want to make something out of their lives.
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Our children must learn that these celebrity brats are not helpless victims.
They encourage media attention. There is more to life than gaining useless
tabloid frenzy. Our children must be wary that their bad behavior is going to
annoy their parents extremely. In addition, their peers and colleagues will be
laughing at their stupid behavior. Their future will be in jeopardy. So they
should make a habit of learning from others experiences and cherish the
lessons.
However, after all the bleak news, the good news is there are promising
celebrities to whom our children may emulate. One among them could be
Danica McKellar.
A 32-year-old actress who escaped the perils of child stardom and now
wants to present a different role model to young women started her career 20
years ago as Winnie Cooper on TVs The Wonder Years. She has since
appeared on The West Wing and Life Times Inspector Mom. Besides her
promising career in acting, she excelled in math as well.
She aced her math SAT and AP calculus exam in high school. After some
initial trepidation, she took a chance on a math degree at UCLA. She
graduated summa cum lade with a degree in math and published a physics
theorem. Now, she realizes she had something to offer off-screen.
She believes middle school girls get the message, If youre really smart, then
youre not cool. This is the time when girls are asking themselves, Who am
I? and now, if they get bad PR about math, they think, Well, whoever I am,
Im not somebody who likes math. To change that perception, McKellar
wrote a book, Math Doesnt Suck.
Her book is written in a whimsical voice, comparing math to acne and
other preteen concerns. Describing her style, and what people may think is its
contradiction of mixing the superficial with the serious, she denies the
traditional approach. She says, In reaching the middle school girls audience,
I wanted to keep in mind what are girls thinking about at that age? Boys,
makeup, jewelry, fashion, who am I? I took every quiz in every teen magazine
known to man because you think youre going to get the answer to Who am
I? She added, I thought, let me do it in that context, why not? Why not
teach math in the contest of being a girl.
If they dont learn by the way you teach, make them learn by presenting
math in a way which will be receptive to them. Seems to me she has a very
innovative approach to making math likable for the targeted audience.
There is no problem with being able to look cute if you want to and do a
math problem. It doesnt affect your brain. The makeup doesnt seep into your
skull and allow you to not think as clearly, she asserts. She wants to be math
activist and to write second book.
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Parents investing their time not only in their childrens day-to-day

activities, but also in watching them what theyre thinking, how they are
dressing, what their priorities are, how they are coping with peer pressure
is the best investment parents can ever make. Our childrens future, success or
failure, depends on their guidance. Parents need to step up to the plate to take
control of childrens misbehavior, regardless of whether their kids will be
happy about their actions. Parents have the right and the responsibility to
discipline effectively, in a lovingly involved manner, by presenting their
children with good role models. Lets hope the motivation our children
receive from badly behaved starlets causes them to prefer the examples of the
positive celebrities who stay away from the limelight and make positive
differences.
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Dreams and ambitions

Wednesday, October 3, 2007
During almost 22 years of tenure at Claflin University, I have been told by

many students, I have a mother at home, or Be glad that you are not my
mother, or, sarcastically, Yes, Mom! or even, Get a life. My responses
to them were, Your mom is away from you or Good! or I have a life, but
when I am with you, you are my concern. However, most of them came
back later and apologized for snapping at me. Often they have told me the
stories of their lives. According to them, a lot is going on in their lives.
Find me guilty. I agree; its been my specialty too. I have persistently
bugged them, the young aspiring geniuses, to do better than their present
performance if I saw their potential and that they were failing to utilize it. I
would talk with and to them relentlessly, until they started wiggling and said,
I need to go. I am glad that my persistence in encouraging students hasnt
all been negative. Many have taken the time to discuss matters with me,
thanked me for encouragement and guidance, and improved their scholastic
performance. Some, at least a couple from the business department, promised
me that they will be millionaires one day and will come back to take care of
me. Though I am not waiting for them to come back to take care of me, I feel
blessed. Their loving gestures and kind concern are secure in my heart.
Though a few of my colleagues who observe me closely know of this
characteristic, I thought it was a well-kept secret. It was not talked about
publicly until a couple of years ago when a large group of prospective
students and their parents visited the Writing Center. While introducing the
faculty members that were present, my former colleague Dr. Barbara McIver
said, when it came to my turn, This is Mrs. Hiremath, who works full time at
the Writing Center; she will be a help when you need it; and she listens to all
your stories. Feeling rather self-conscious, I stealthily rolled my eyes around;
all eyes were on me. However, noticing a couple of parents nodding and
smiling at me and feeling their approval, I said to myself, OK!
Each person has amazing power within her/himself that has not yet been
tapped. To keep your willpower mighty, think of great lives, of the heroes and
thoughts that will help you to grow. Growth is evidence of life.
When you study the lives of great people, you will realize that they did not
achieve their successes overnight, nor were the titles hero and heroine
randomly placed on a silver platter and bestowed upon them in their honor.
Their perseverance and endurance led them to their desired destination, but
the journey was neither short nor painless. Remember that Thomas Edison
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reportedly tested 10,000 light bulbs before finally getting one to work. The
late Colonel Sanders took his chicken recipe to more than 1,000 restaurants
before finally convincing anyone that it was "finger-licking good." Abraham
Lincoln could not do anything right for the first 28 years of his life. He lost
several jobs, failed in several business deals, and endured numerous losses
while running for public office. Finally, he won the election that led to his
being considered one of the greatest presidents of the United States. Do not
ever forget: There is no gain without pain.
Many times it is heard, My friend is a genius; he/she makes all As. I am
not that smart. This attitude is a lame excuse for not committing to work hard
and not accepting academic challenges. You need to remember, as Thomas
Edison said, Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent
perspiration.
In addition, never forget that however hard you work, you are going to
experience failures now and then. Perk yourself up by remembering that
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in
rising up every time we fail. Rise up to your ambitions; work tenaciously to
bring your dreams to fruition.
Read, reread, and reflect on the ideas presented herein. Realize that some
perceptions are incorrect and can be corrected. I hope these examples will
help inspire positive attitudes, a sense of perseverance, and a realization that
life is truly what one makes of it.
Finally, lets not forget that each one of us is born with dreams and
ambitions. We must remember what Robert F. Kennedy said, You can
achieve anything in life if you have courage to dream it, the intelligence to
make a realistic plan, and the will to see that plan through to the end.
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Honesty, a character trait

October 2007
Being truthful in words and deeds is recognized as honesty. Honesty

means acting in a trustworthy way so that you will respect yourself and be
respected by others.
We are told time and again: Sooner or later everyone sits down to a
banquet of consequences. You always experience the consequences of your
own acts. If your acts are right, you'll get good consequences; if not, you'll
suffer for it. We are taught: Honesty is the best policy. Especially when it
comes to relationships, like marriage, weve heard loud and clear that honesty
and openness are most important emotional needs. Communication is the key
in any marriage. What makes marriage successful is spouses willingness and
ability to accommodate each others feelings. A couples emotional needs are
barely met, when the relationship lacks honesty and openness. Consequently,
dishonest couples will destroy the love and attraction that brought them
together in comfort. I believe in a total honesty between a husband and wife.
And theres no doubt that couples that have no skeletons in their closets have
a better chance at succeeding in marriage and making it a happy and long
lasting one.
I definitely agree with the concept. However, one must keep in mind that
indiscriminate honesty may prove unhealthy in marital relations. At times, as
far emotional honesty is concerned, this virtue maybe used wrongfully.
Therefore, at certain times, in intimate relationships, zipping your lips is not
bad.
Even a good idea can be taken to an extreme where it becomes harmful.
One should make sure that ones honesty doesnt drive the other party insane.
For example, its honest for a man to tell his wife that he hates her cellulite or
the way she cooks or laughs or that she isnt the same pretty little doll
anymore. Its honest for a woman to dump her anger on her husband,
constantly harassing him for his shortcomings and for his failures; its honest
for her to tell him that she is bothered by his receding hairline, expanding
waistline and protruding belly.
Honesty on the part of the person who doesnt have the best interest of the
other person at heart is really a cruel form of selfishness. Some things are
better left unsaid, especially when the other person cant help the
characteristic that is being criticized. Some persons that are determined to
share every thought and opinion just systematically destroy the sweet aroma
of romance that once drew them together. No longer is there any sense of
mystery in the relationship. The destruction of that mystery could unravel that
allure which made them love each other in the first place. A character trait is
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supposed to draw a couple closer and trigger a feeling of love; instead this sort
of honesty may drive the couple apart.
Now, no one is suggesting a husband or wife should be deceitful with a
spouse. I am recommending, however, that you just hold your tongue for a
while. Let your anger and frustration cool down just a little bit before pouring
it on an unsuspecting partner in the name of honesty.
In a nut shell, the message here is learn to get along with others cordially;
work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts
will inevitably bring about right results.
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Things fall apart

Olympic sprinter Marion Jones won three gold and two bronze medals in
the track competition at the Sydney, Australia, Olympics in 2000. This, of
course, led to millions of dollars in endorsements for her. But over the years,
suspicions have grown strong and stronger. Time and again, she was asked
about drug use.
She denied it, saying, I never have, I never will, Ive been blessed with an
incredible amount of talent. My work ethic is second to none. And I dont feel
the need to take any performance-enhancing drugs.
Today, the strong, poised woman who was once a symbol of everything
right about women in sports is long gone. A liar and a cheat, Ms. Jones is
reduced to saying, Its with a great amount of shame that I stand before you
and tell you that I have betrayed your trust. This admission of steroids use
comes after years of angry denials.
I have been dishonest, and you have the right to be angry with me. I have
let (my family) down, I have let my country down, and I have let myself
down, said Olympic sprinter Ms. Jones in her cracking voice.
She pleaded guilty to lying to federal investigators. She faces two felony
charges. Now the word is that Ms. Jones has returned all the five medals. The
committee might have to re-award the medals in those races. Jones is out.
Its sad to think about the other athletes she beat. They invested everything
they had and suffered greatly to get in shape to compete at that level. Still,
they lost, only to realize now they were cheated by Marion Jones.
What drove Ms. Jones was selfishness. Jones wanted fame and money.
Even though other people around her were getting hurt, she didnt seem to
care.
In this context, I remember another story. Sixteen-year-old Ffyona
Campbell of Great Britain longed for admiration from others so much that she
spent 11 years walking around the world. Her goal was to be recognized in
The Guinness Book of World Records. Her long journey came to an end on
Oct. 14, 1994, at the northern tip of Scotland; before thousands of cheering
fans, she was crowned as the first woman to walk around the world. It was her
finest day. At last she found the admiration she craved. But her heart was
heavy, for she knew she had cheated. While walking across the United States,
she had become weary and accepted a ride for 1,000 miles. In the months to
come, the shame of having cheated drove her to drugs and alcohol. She even
considered suicide.
To appease her conscience, she secretly finished the thousand-mile stretch
between Indianapolis, Indiana, and Fort Summer, New Mexico, in 1996. But
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even that didnt help. Finally, she called the Guinness office and asked to have
her name removed from the record. And then she publicly apologized on
television by admitting her cheating.
Campbell freed herself by clearing her conscience publicly in order to live
with inner peace and calmness. Her conscience outweighed her desire to be
world famous, though she had all the chances to be so. But she chose to sleep
soundly at night.
Jones let down amateur and pro female athletes. Its natural if girls who
turned to her for a strong, healthy female body image feel duped. Track and
field fans feel cheated.
The difference between Campbell and Jones is the difference between
heaven and earth. Campbell volunteered to admit her deceit publicly and
apologized on television by admitting her cheating. On the other hand, Jones
was exposed as a lying cheat herself. As rumors swirled around Jones in
ensuing years, fans stubbornly refused to believe she would stoop so low to
gain a competitive edge. As Jones saw her fortunes dry up as the truth closed
in and things started falling apart, and, only after that, did she admit her
deceit.
The lessons Campbell learned and taught are timeless ones: Its possible to
live without the admiration of others, but what one cant live without is selfrespect. Many of us spend an enormous amount of time trying to gain respect
from others, but the truth is we are most in need of our own respect.
The key is self-respect. Let our consciences be our guides.
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The importance of being lazy

Friday, October 26, 2007
While working in my office during lunch break on a publication, I typed

hole meaning entire, which shouldve been whole. Thats when and
where I realized how badly I needed to take a break. I thought of just walking
around and greeting my colleagues whose office doors were left open.
Each one tried to convince me that his or her life has been more hectic than
anyone elses.
Each one thought the grass in the others yard is greener than in his or her.
None of them had either time or patience to realize that others are facing the
same sort of destiny like he or she. Each was so overwhelmed with keeping up
with deadlines.
As its said, Misery loves company, I was relieved to see that I was not
the only one who was overwhelmed with haste and multitasking. Reflecting
on this unhealthy hectic lifestyle that we are trapped in, I remembered the
book written by Al Gini, The Importance of Being Lazy: In praise of Play
Leisure and Vacation, that teaches the reader the importance of the slow
lifestyle.
The Importance of Being Lazy is about personal identity in culture. Our
most frequent response to the question, Who am I? is to say what we do for
living. The book is about who we are and what we do when we are not at
work. Leisure is often not considered a necessity of life. We are aware of
thousands of books written on work, jobs and career, but of only a few on
participatory, gardening, travel and leisure. Its obvious that we value work,
not leisure,
If vacations are a project of self-definition, then what does it mean not to
take a vacation? Vacation starvation becomes a malady. The consequence, as
Joseph Piper points out in his book Leisure, is the destruction of culture.
The idea of leisure time was to refresh and renew; to have a life outside of
work.
However, market forces have been against this. Our culture has
degenerated from a society based around people to one based around things,
says Professor Gini.
According to Gini, there are five problem areas:
1. Lack of self-development: Without adequate time and energy, we become
passive consumers of entertainment. This makes us dull.
2. Lack of autonomy: Time away from the constraints and conformity of
work is necessary to build a more authentic sense of self. Spending all our
time at work makes us compliant and often against our own best interest.
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3. Effects of social life: Less time means more superficial interactions with
others. Lack of social involvement degrades our social environment. We are
too busy to be courteous. We are too busy for civic involvement.
4. Positional competition: In other words, Keeping up with the Joneses.
Our focus is on the superficial. We self-identify through our buying habits.
5. Cognitive and valuation confusion: Professor Gini means advertisers create
discontent by holding up impossible promises and standards to which
consumers aspire.
A hectic lifestyle has become part and parcel of our lives. At times it feels
like we are trying to survive even without breathing deep; we are just
breathing enough to get by. Weekends come and go and when someone asks,
How was your weekend? we pause to think, if there was a weekend. More
frequently, many of us talk about weekends being busier than weekdays.
We need to make time to breathe deep, to relax and to connect to
ourselves. The point is that we need to find a balance between work and
leisure. We are responsible for at least some of the choices we make.
However, we must note that this book is free of academic writing. In
addition, though ironical, we must not forget that Al Gini, who is a professor
of philosophy at Loyola University, Chicago, was also a business consultant.
He describes himself as addicted to work, as he previously explored a mixture
of business, work and philosophy in his book My Job, My Self.
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Keep believing in yourself

Wednesday, November 14, 2007
There may be days when we get up in the morning and things aren't the
way we hoped they would be. This is when, using our confidence and
believing in ourselves, we have to tell ourselves that things will get better.
Life is a journey through time. There will be challenges to face and
changes to make in your life for the better. One can't run away from what is
panned for him or her. There is no other way than to accept it. Work hard with
faith to change your fortune in a positive direction. Here is a story of courage
and determination that may help us face a so-called "not good day" in hopes
of seeing a better tomorrow.
Seventeen-year-old Philadelphian, Neveen Mahmoud, as her friends call
her "Veenie," is awarded by the Jack Kent Cooke Foundation a full four-year
scholarship to any college in the world. She is an A student. However, the
scholarship is not just merit-based. The scholarship is awarded to students
who have overcome great obstacles to excel.
Abandoned by her father at infancy, Neveen was raised by her mother. Her
mother, 47-year-old Dorita, worked as a travel agent for many years. She
supported her daughter and herself until she started suffering from a series of
debilitating health problems, including heart and kidney failure, and serious
sleep apnea that required a tracheotomy. Dorita was also diagnosed with a rare
spinal disease that grips her entire body in constant pain.
Neveen has grown up with the reality that her mother could die at any
moment. At one point her mother was in the intensive care unit for three
months, and Neveen slept in her room without anyone's knowledge. They
became homeless when her mother was in the hospital. And still Neveen
relied on herself and didn't reach out for help. Their only income was her
mother's Social Security checks.
"We never [knew] about Veenie's challenges. She never talks about them,"
said Kathlyn Gray, director of Veenie's high school. "There would be days
Veenie would come to school and she would have been in the hospital all
night, and she wouldn't tell anyone."
Neveen responded by saying, "It wasn't that I was ashamed. It's just that I
never felt the need to broadcast it." She added, "The hardest pain is that it's
not fair. It hurts me when she is pushing herself to show up at my games when
she's in pain. And there's nothing I can do to physically make it go away ... I
would give anything in my life right now to have her be pain-free."
Respecting her mother, lovingly, she says, "If I was an eighth of the person
that she is today, I'd be so satisfied with who I [have] become."
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Mother and daughter have learned to find strength in each other when life gets
too hard. Their spiritual riches outweigh their material wealth. Goodness and
determination have propelled Neveen to incredible heights.
Though silent about her own trouble, Neveen has organized students to
help the people of Darfur in the Sudan. She is president of her student body
and a star on the soccer and lacrosse fields. In reference to Darfur, Neveen
says, "It disgusts me on a daily basis. It absolutely horrifies me [that] people
can watch this and turn a blind eye. This is something that is very real, very
prominent and affects all of us whether we like it or not."
Smitten by her inspiring story of courage and determination, ABC's Good
Morning America took Neveen and her mom to Hollywood for a week of star
treatment. Like every Hollywood princess, she was pampered to a weekend of
beauty. The academy offered front row seats to see the stars arrive on the red
carpet. According to ABC's Good Morning America, Oscar night wasn't just a
chance to Neveen see the stars. It was the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be one,
"Night of glamour for an Oscar princess."
We must learn to appreciate the hard efforts of those who have succeeded,
beating all odds. When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow
bring out the best in ourselves.
The poet Walt Whitman captured the clear message herein when he stated:
Be brave enough to live life creatively. The creative is the place
where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your
comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. You can't get
there by bus, only by hard work and risk and by not quite knowing
what you are doing. What you discover will be wonderful. What you'll
discover will be yourself.
This fall semester, Neveen Mahmoud has joined four-year undergraduate
program at Harvard University.
Feeling sorry for yourself or believing the world owes you a free ride won't
get you where you would like to go. Only knowledge, desire and hard work
can get you to your ambitious destinations.
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Bike Man
The Christmas music that played so joyfully for weeks has been silenced; the
stockings that were hung carefully by the chimney with the hope that they
would be filled by a joyful Santa with all the hoped-for goodies have been
packed away for another year. The frantic pace of the season, the hustle and
bustle of shopping, gift-giving, and probably returning the unsatisfactory gifts
are over.
I reflected on a number of entities and sources that reminded me the
holiday season is the time for miracles and generosity. Charitable deeds of
generous people who participated in fundraisers or donated to their favorite
charities and the people I wrote the columns about, "Secret Santa," Larry
Stewart from the Kansas City suburb of Lee's Summit, Hal Taussig from the
outskirts of Media, Pennsylvania, Atlanta Falcon running back Warrick Dunn
and many other wealthy people across the country who got into the Christmas
spirit with generous anonymous giving by writing checks, placing gold coins
in their favorite charity's kettle or volunteering reminded me of their bounty.
However, above all the people and their generous giving in millions, one
person surpassed my expectation and stood apart from others for his
outstanding contribution.
This person is 74-year-old Lewis H. Days from Durham, N.C. He is a
retired maintenance man living on Social Security. Materially, Days doesn't
have a lot for himself, but he has a heart of gold and he has stolen hearts of
many, so I consider him wealthier.
Days is an expert on giving. He devotes his time, talent and passion to the
kids in his neighborhood. Days has been restoring broken or abandoned
bicycles for years, making them as good as new, and giving them to children
who don't have one. He gives away up to 150 bikes each year. "If I go to a
grocery store and I see a kid, and I ask him, 'do you have a bike,' and he tells
me no, I say, 'Well, you got one, now.' And I give him a bicycle." He is a hero
to kids in his neighborhood and nearby. One boy gave him the nickname,
"Bike Man." Now many recognize him by his nickname.
Everyone from the firehouse to the sanitation department to the dog pound
in town knows Bike Man. And every Christmas, he makes the rounds to
firehouses, foster homes, churches and the local Boys and Girls Club.
"Any time you see the smiling face of a child that you have given a bicycle
to ... I'm a soft heart. It brings tears to my eyes when I see a kid enjoy
something that I have worked on," Days said. However, he has gained
reputation as "This Santa isn't always a softie."
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He wants the children to whom he gives bikes to behave well. Before

surprising the children with a bike, he watches their behavior and listens to
their parents.
"I had one little girl down the street from me, she was cussing her mother.
And her mother said she wasn't going to get a bicycle, and I didn't give it to
her." However, Days adds, "That doesn't happen very often."
He wants to be a role model for his granddaughter, the other kids, and
parents as well. He has involved his young granddaughter in this project. She
does the test driving after every bike is restored.
When he was only 9, Days taught himself how to fix bikes; since then his
rewards, like the bicycles, have only multiplied. "The little fellow I gave the
red bicycle to -- that did my heart all the good in the world. When I see a
smile on their face, that's a blessing ... It's a blessing that comes from up here,"
said Days as he pointed to the sky.
Mr. Lewis H. Days is no lesser benefactor than any philanthropic
millionaire. His kind heart is his precious wealth, and he's given it to all very
generously to become wealthier by earning children's love and their parents'
trust.
No wonder Lewis H. Days was chosen as "Person of the Week" by ABC
World News.
May the Lord Almighty bless Mr. Lewis H. Days with a long, healthy life,
so he can fulfill many other children's dream of having a bike.
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The lingering sadness (A ray of hope)

Tuesday, March 4, 2008
I made a little time on a recent weekend to take a breather. As I sat quietly,

I realized a streak of sadness lingering in the back of my mind, like as if I
were suffering from a slight headache while still functioning at a normal pace
doing all thats needed to be done.
I reflected on the bygone week to search for the cause. This was the week
of super Tuesday and the week after Super Bowl. Presidential contenders
and politicians kept the interested audiences engaged; Super Bowl parties,
celebrations and the commercials that cost $2.7 million for a 30-second spot
had become the talk of the media and sports fans. The nations economy
sliding toward recession, rising gas prices, dollar value decreasing, our
national debt increasing with each moment, and dealings of the current
administration in the nations capital that kept the TV media, AP writers,
political analysts and cartoonists busy with plenty of themes to work from;
whereas, the middle class struggled to make ends meet; all portrayed a
gloomy picture, though it sounded like business as usual.
Added to circumstantial dilemmas was Mother Natures wrath. That week
tornadoes, snow and floods ravaged parts of the United States. Deadly
tornadoes in Tennessee ripped across five Southern states, killed at least 55
people and left others devastated by splitting open shopping malls, leveling
homes to their foundations and tossing cars around like toys. On the same day,
the Great Lakes region was struck with a combination of snow, up to 20
inches in some places, and severe flooding in the towns of Illinois, Indiana,
Ohio and New York after three days of heavy rain and melting snow.
However, I realized my sadness was lingering way before. As I retraced
my weeks activities, I remembered on this day sending my document to the
printer. As soon as I fed paper to the printer, it printed someone elses
document. The printer printing someone elses document was not unusual;
however, what it printed grabbed my attention. Those were images of a
scrawny woman drying mud cookies in the sun, collecting mud cookies and
balancing a bucket of recently dried mud cookies on her head as she climbed
down the ladder from the roof. Reading the captions, I became sad and
distraught. I knew Haiti is the poorest country in the western hemisphere and
one of the most disadvantaged in the world. However, what I was not aware of
was that rising prices and food shortages for Haitis poorest have made even a
daily plate of rice scarce and unaffordable, so some have to take desperate
measures to ward off hunger pangs. Skeptically, I did a little online research
only to find that extreme poverty is forcing Haitis poorest people to eat dirt.
Mud cookies, made from dirt, salt and vegetable shortening, which are
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occasionally used by pregnant women and children as an antacid and source

of calcium, have become a regular meal among Haitians desperate to stave off
hunger. The mud cookies sell for around 5 cents each; whereas, 2 cups of rice
costs 60 cents. Seventy-six percent of the Haitian population lives on less than
$2.25 a day; many live less than $1.13 a day. Chronic malnutrition is
widespread and diarrhea kills one in five children. Haitian doctors have
warned that relying on the mud cookies will lead to malnutrition.
Sadly, helplessly, I tried to remember something positive that would show
me a ray of hope and help boost up my faith in humanity and ward off this
depressing and lingering sadness.
I remembered 11-year-old Jack Davis, who was disturbed to learn that
Florida restaurants throw out pounds of good food that couldve been given to
the hungry and the homeless. The reason for discarding the food was that
restaurant owners could be sued if anyone who ate the food became ill or
developed food poisoning. Jacks idea was protect the restaurant owners from
the lawsuits so they wouldnt hesitate to give away the leftovers to the hungry
and homeless. Jack got his dad to float the idea to some Florida legislators.
The legislators liked the idea; restaurant owners agreed, as well. Thus, this 11year-olds initiative may be passed as law to help feed the homeless.
In addition, the news about the miraculous survival of 11-month-old Kerri
Stowell, who, wearing only a T-shirt and diaper that dangled off his bottom,
had lain face-down in the mud for hours during the night, served as a ray of
hope for many distraught. The infant boy was found amid tornado-strewn
rubble nearly 500 yards from where his home once stood; whereas, the town,
Castilian Springs, Tenn., was smashed by tornadoes, leaving six people dead,
including Kysons 24-year-old mother.
However saddened one is one cannot solve possibly the entire worlds
problems. However, positive stories filled with humanity and hope stand tall
with lasting lessons to promote timeless encouragement to those who are
going through lifes ordeals and other fortunate to count their blessings and
hope for better. Thus, however hard it is, we must learn to balance our
feelings with our spirituality and intellect to be at peace.
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Simple things
Monday, March 31, 2008
While we were growing up, our parents everyday advice was Be nice and
be good. It sounded easy and simple, since it was repeated each day. And we
always thought of our parents as our role models; all we had to do was watch
them and emulate their morals and principles. In addition, other elderly people
incorporated the set of behavioral ethics in our daily life unfailingly.
According to Websters New Reference Libraryndsh A Handbook of
Dictionaries, nice means pleasant, friendly, kind, attractive, subtle, fine,
careful, exact, difficult to decide, and good means commendable, right,
proper, excellent, beneficial, well-behaved, virtuous, kind, financially safe and
secure, adequate, sound, valid. Oh my! Just two little words nice and
good cover such a breadth of meaning.
Now, once in a while, I sit quietly and reflect on my parents advice and
what it takes to be nice and good. I wonder if one has to be a degree-holder
from a prestigious university and a billionaire philanthropist like Charles F.
Feeney, Michael Bloomberg or Warren Buffet to be good and nice. These
extreme business visionaries, using their savvy business skills, have made
enormous fortunes. While living modestly, they have distributed their fortune
through their foundations to make other ill-fated people happy.
And then I remembered this local gardener who was featured on the news
during Black History Month. He plants more than seeds; he teaches a valuable
lesson to rich and poor, young and old alike: Less is more. It [the day] starts
on one dollar and eighty cents, he explains sitting inside his cab.
Tryon Eichelberger has been a Blue Ribbon cab driver for the last 62 years.
Back then we couldnt ride whites, and blacks couldnt ride in white cabs.
We made 50 cents a day, says Eichelberger. Though he lived quite modestly
then, now he has secured himself financially by investing a little in stocks and
bonds. In addition, the free time has allowed him to do what he really loves,
he adds contentedly.
Talking about his leisure, I started out plowing a mule, said
Eichelberger. He loves gardening and is noted for growing the biggest collard
greens. However, he doesnt sell them. I give them away; people are lined up
during the holidays all around the corner, and I just give them away, he says.
If you have a green thumb, growing palms and trust in the Lord, then you
have his secret of successful gardening.
Eichelberger also gives his time to serve the community. Reportedly in his
home are displayed many certificates of appreciation from countless churches
and organizations. He routinely visits the poor and the sick people and shares
his small fortune with them.
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We should be appreciating and honoring people like Eichelberger who

stand up as role models to serve humanity in their own possible way.
Having philanthropists is good. With their millions and billions and gifted
with kind hearts, they make nationally and internationally miraculous
differences in the lives of children of a lesser God (as they are called) by
making their lives less intolerable. Otherwise, it would have been impossible
for these unfortunates to live life with such decency. However, these
philanthropists are few and far between. What we must be aware of is people
like Eichelberger who are the fabric of our society. And the difference these
citizens make by giving away out of their modest possessions to be happy,
while making others happy, is equally valuable. We need to know and
recognize them more often.
Simple but elegant is the strategy that fits here. This reiterates the simple
message: Be nice and be good.
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The precious gift of life

Saturday, June 14, 2008
Throughout history humans have had the desire to live forever. With the
dawn of the modern technological and scientific revolutions, a new breed of
immortalist has emerged. They believe in the possibility of avoiding death
altogether.
However, I am comfortable with the concept that was widespread before
the 19th and 20th centuries. Previously, philosophy and religion expressed
immortality as the continuity of human spiritual existence after the death of
the body. The only seriously considered method of achieving immortality
involved the continued existence of a person in one form or another after
physical death. Thus, the concept of immortality has to be distinguished from
that of bodily resurrection.
Thinking of immortality or the continuity of life, I remember the short lives
of 17-year-old best friends Tessa Tranchant and Allison Kunhardt who, while
stopped at a traffic light, were hit by a drunken driver. Its hard to imagine
what the girls heart-wrenched parents were going through, while other family
members and close friends were in mourning, feeling victimized by the loss of
these two budding young ladies.
When there was a sleepover, they were like sisters. They literally were
almost hugging each other every time they went to bed, said Allisons dad,
Dave Kunhardt.
However the story doesnt end here. Actually its a beginning, which leads
these two victims tragic deaths to make a positive difference in a number of
other lives with their donated organs. One of the beneficiaries was Andre
Jones, who started to lose his sight in his teens. Music always had been his
heart and soul, but as his talent as a singer and musician started to flourish, his
sight slowly started to deteriorate. Jones has Keratoconus, an eye disease in
which the cornea begins to bulge, causing distorted vision.
Jones vision loss began to affect his ability to play instruments. I had to
lean like all the way over like when my nose was touching the keyboard, said
Jones. By the age 28, Jones could see only as far as his own hand. According
to Doctor Vincent Verdi, an ophthalmologist from Norfolk, Va., the only
solution was a cornea transplant.
Jones got a call that he described as a, bitter sweet miracle. His
ophthalmologist told Jones that a cornea was available for him. The donor was
Alison Kunhardt.
When I learned that I was a recipient of a cornea, you know, of a young
person that lost a life, I was hurt It was the cornea of somebody who was
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snatched off the face of the earth. My first concern was the family, Jones
said.
Heartened by the generous donation and the chance to see again, Jones
underwent a 45-minute transplant in his left eye. Next day, when the doctor
asked him to read an eye chart, Jones said though it wasnt perfect, he could
recognize the letters. Since then Jones sight, reportedly, has improved
dramatically.
Feeling reborn through the transplant, Jones wanted to thank Alisons
family in person. Though reluctantly, since it was so soon after Alisons
death, Mr. Kunhardt agreed.
When they met, Jones discovered he and Alison had shared something in
common a love of music. Saying, I understand that she did take piano. I
understand that she was an outgoing person. She had a big heart, and there
were no strangers, Jones added, I think it was definitely a greater match
than just a piece of tissue.
The Kunhardts were pleased to meet Jones, the grateful young man. Just
the joy on his face he must have said, Thank you at least 30 times in 20
minutes, said Alisons father.
With his precious gift of sight, Jones can once again play the piano with
ease. His life has never looked brighter. Its nothing I can describe. I feel
like Ive been reborn in a sense. Not too many people get that opportunity, and
I got that opportunity. I literally got the chance to start life over, said Jones.
The future of two radiant young women had been abruptly cut short by a
tragic turn of events. Life doesnt always go as planned. No parent is ever
ready to bury his or her child. The pain and void that is created by these young
womens accidental death will never completely vanish. Through their wise
decision to donate Allisons organs, these parents have withstood the trial and
are consoled to see that their daughters continue to live on through the hopes
and dreams of organ recipients. We live in deeds, not in years; in thoughts,
not in breaths; in feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should count time by
heart throbs. He most lives who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best,
writes Philip James Bailey.
Let us hope that happily ended cases like these get enough publicity to help
spur the worldwide interest in organ donation and potential donors realize
what a precious, mighty gift they have in their power. They can exemplify to
the world that the celebration of living eases the pain of losing loved ones.
Thus, they encourage many others to be a registered donor.
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Class of 2021
Monday, July 28, 2008
My second granddaughter, Shaila, who turned 5 on July 3, is about to

graduate from Hania's Daycare, Rockville, Md., and is gearing up for
kindergarten. Preparing for her stage debut, with the help of the daycare
teacher, Ms. Hania, and her mother, Shaila is heart-broken. She doesn't want
to leave daycare because she loves her teacher and all the kids. She says, "It's
not fair!" Shaila argues, "Why I can't study at a higher level at Hania's
Daycare."
Shaila has attended Hania's Daycare since she was 9 months old. My
daughter, Meena, perfectly understands her child's innocent love affair with
her daycare teacher and says, "It's sad."
However sad or hard it is, Meena must talk to Shaila about this situation,
which mimics that of her two goldfish, which had to be transferred, as they
grew bigger after a year or so, from a jar to a larger fish tank. And later two
additional fish were added to the tank. Meena must convince Shaila that
change is just a part of the process of growing up. As Shaila goes to
kindergarten, she will have a new teacher, and she will make new friends. As
she adds new people to her life, she still can visit Ms. Hania occasionally.
Shaila is not subtracting Ms. Hania from her life; on the other hand, she is
adding more people to expand her little world, like the goldfish needed a
larger tank so that they could grow and expand their world.
Shaila's situation makes me reflect on the day when three decades ago, my
husband and I dropped our first born, 3-year-old Meena, now the mother of
three, at the Catholic Nursery. As the sister appeared to receive her, clinging
to us tightly, Meena said, "I want to go home." Somehow, we succeeded in
convincing her that it would only be a few hours until we would be outside
waiting for her.
I cried all the way to home, and my husband teasingly said, "You just
dropped your daughter at the nursery; it's not like you gave her away in
marriage." When it was time to pick her up, we eagerly waited in the lobby for
10 long minutes. Meena, holding the same nun's hand, came out with a big
smile and told us, "I like the school. I want to be a doctor." As she
enthusiastically waived goodbye to her teacher, I was stunned by her quick
transformation.
Shaila has always struck me as demanding, well-determined, never
annoying but always convincingly sweet. Instead of pouting or crying, if she
was displeased, when she was a toddler, she would just say, "No!" and have it
her own way. If she wanted to land on her mother's lap or wanted her father to
hold her, using mothers hair, necklace, or bangles as fixed hangers, she
would just climb on her mother's lap, or would keep following her dad until he
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picked her up. She has always been strong-minded, but a sweet go-getter.
Born on July 3, and by her typical behavior, Shaila has earned from me a
nickname, "Lady Liberty."
From that emotional first day in kindergarten class to her high school
graduation day in 2021, it is hard for me to imagine how this little girl's life is
going to take shape over the next 13 years, since the culture is changing so
rapidly. I am sure at times her mother wants to hold her innocent child tightly
in her arms and never let her go. Also, I am sure other parents have
experienced similar moments at one time or the other. All parents desire to
protect their children from the harsh realities of the world, although, we, as
adults, know how life works. All we can do is teach our children morals and
values, and the difference between right and wrong and thus, help build their
self-confidence so that they can go out and make their own way. Additionally,
we should remind them that it is their life; they can make it good and
productive, or they can mar it. Ultimately the choice is theirs. Hopefully our
early guidance, coupled with faith and prayers, will channel our children to
make good choices.
It is hard for me even to imagine how the world will look in 2021. All I am
sure of is that our younger parents are going to need a lot of strength,
combined with the God Almighty's blessing to raise their children.
May God bless our children and our grandchildren with smooth sailing!
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The most expensive sari

Saturday, August 9, 2008
At the beginning of each new academic year, I wear a sari, my native

outfit. I look forward to hearing comments from my friends who exclaim,
Oh! Its sari time. Others, the curious ones, admire my saris and ask why I
wear them. My impromptu answer has been, They are comfortable, and I can
easily identify myself in them.
Millions of Indian women have been wearing saris with elegance and style
for over 5,000 years.
Ultimate simplicity, practical comfort combined with the senses of luxury
and sexuality a woman experiences, the age-old sari has reserved its
popularity and ageless charm. Since not cut or tailored for a particular size,
sari, this one-size garment, fits all. Worn properly, sari can accentuate the
well-proportioned curve or ingeniously conceal the extra flab, depending on
the style and how one chooses to drape it.
A sari is a rectangular piece of cloth that is usually 5 to 6 yards in length
but may sometimes extend 7 or 9 yards. There are saris to match every mood,
every occasion and every budget. Saris are for all purposes party wear,
daily wear, bridal wear and so on. Depending on the pattern and the material
its woven with, saris vary in prices.
The sari can be shimmering silk, an elegant chiffon or fine cotton material.
It can have the most intricate embroidery with silk threads or even silver and
gold threads. The colors can be vibrantly bright or subdued pastels. For
wedding and special occasions, silk saris are the norm. Typically the wedding
saris have gold and silver (pounded very thin and made into threads) woven
into them. The Indian sari has retained its beauty and innocence through its
original form; it has evolved in tremendous variety, though.
This graceful attire can also be worn in several ways. The manner in which
its worn as well as its color and texture indicate a womans status, age,
occupation, region and religion. In the state of Maharashtra, for example, the
traditional sari is 9 yards long. This sari does not require a petticoat or slip.
Its similar to pants, and the sari accentuates the derriere. Six-yard traditional
sari worn over a petticoat or slip allows for generous pleating, and draping
around the body and over the shoulders almost Grecian in style. The loose end
of the fabric, which is thrown over the left shoulder, is known as Pallu. A
sari can cover the body from head to toe, making a woman look modest and
coy. Considering this attires versatility, the pallu has a very multipurpose use
to it.
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When there is a slight chill in the air, the pallu can be put around the shoulder
like a shawl; or if it gets cold or windy, the pallu can be wrapped around the
head like a scarf.
Talking of world records, here is an eye-catching recent tidbit I read: The
worlds most expensive sari, worth over $100,000, was brought out by
Chennai Silks. Having already won a place in the Limca Book of World
Records, its expected to be listed in the Guinness World Records. Inlaid with
12 varieties of precious stones, the meticulously woven sari depicts 11
paintings of the artists Raja Ravi Verma. His major Lady Musicians
occupies the center of the sari, while the 10 other smaller paintings take up the
border of the sari. It took 30 weavers about seven months to complete the sari,
which was then displayed to the public by the movie star Suhasini Mani
Ratnam. The 12 varieties of precious stones and metals used were ruby, pearl,
coral, diamond, topaz, emerald, cats eye, sapphire, yellow sapphire, platinum,
silver and gold.
It is obvious that a sari is not merely an outfit but an ornament, lending
both grace and glamour to the one who wears it. Certainly, a sari is an Indian
womens statement to the world.
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Self-respect earned, deserved

This Sunday morning as I rose early, I felt like writing about something,
though I had no clue what to write about. Baffled, I was about to sit at my
computer desk when I noticed a clipping from The Times and Democrat
editorial page. The editorial was titled Self-respect has to be earned and
deserved.
Since self-respect is the character trait for Orangeburg County for August
2008, I took it as an incentive to write about self-respect.
Websters New Reference Library: A Handbook of Dictionaries defines
self-respect precisely as: Proper sense of ones own dignity and integrity.
The subject matter seized me at that moment and stilled me to introspection.
As I lingered around my memory lane to think about the most outstanding
story that exhibited honor and self-respect, I thought about extraordinary
stories evolving from very ordinary lives.
Suddenly, I recalled the story of 16-year-old Ffyona Campbell of Great
Britain, who longed for admiration from others so much that she started and
spent 11 years walking around the world. Her goal was to be recorded in the
Guinness Book of World Records. Her long journey came to an end on Oct.
14, 1994, at the northern tip of Scotland before thousands of cheering fans as
she was crowned the first woman to walk around the world. It was Ffyonas
finest day. At last, she found the admiration she craved.
However, her heart was heavy, for she knew she had cheated. While
walking across the United States, she became weary and accepted a ride for a
thousand miles. In the months to come, the shame of having cheated drove her
to drugs and alcohol. She even considered suicide. To appease her conscience,
she secretly finished the thousand-mile stretch of the United States between
Indianapolis, Ind., and Fort Summer, N.M. in 1996. But even that didnt help.
Finally, she called the Guinness office and asked them to remove her name
from the records. And then she publicly apologized on television, admitting
her cheating.
Ffyonas staunch reaction shows her determination to stand tall with selfrespect and as a hero, not for what she did but for what she didnt do. Ffyona
freed herself by giving up the fleeting dazzle of the mundane world by coming
out with clean conscience to live with constant peace and calm. Her
conscience outweighed her desire to be world famous, though she had every
chance to be so. But she chose to sleep more soundly at night.
The lesson Ffyona learned is a timeless one: Its possible to live without
the admiration of others, but what one cant live without is self-respect. Many
of us spend an enormous amount of time in trying to gain respect from others,
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but the truth is the one whose respect we most need is our own self-respect.
As Plato said, Let deeds match words and 6th century B.C., Pythagoras
advised, But most of all respect yourself, Ffyona courageously accepted
responsibility for the mistake she made. The key word is self-respect.
Thus, this womans story exemplifies every element of the editorial: Selfrespect means nobility, dignified, high-toned, high-minded, magisterial,
solemn, sober, grave, lofty, prideful because youve got real stuff to be proud
of. Further, the editorial continues, it has to be earned, deserved,
unarguable. Self-esteem, self-efficiency, self-centeredness can be genuine or
they are worthless.
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Man plans, God laughs

Just the other day, I read a bumper sticker on a passing truck: Man plans
and God laughs.
Thinking about pieces of sanity that are found ashore on all kinds of
beaches these days and skepticism and realism are not the same as cynicism
and pessimism, I let my thoughts run in every possible direction to interpret
this essential Yiddish wisdom for life.
We should keep in mind that we are not in control. The God Almighty is.
Each sane person who is familiar with Mother Nature knows about the
universal power and her invisible forces which are at work. Notice, sane is the
keyword here. In our cynical moments, at one time or other, we have
interpreted the phrase with not so much grace.
However, today, my interpretation is man makes plans and God laughs, for
He knows that man-made plans are not going to work. However, Gods laugh
is not sarcastic. He is not ridiculing the man by his laugh, nor does he plan to
leave the man in limbo to suffer endlessly. When mans plans fall through,
God has his own plan to provide for mans need and that is the reason He is
laughing.
The news broadcast Eight Is Enough for Four Kidney Recipients
illustrates precisely my interpretation. The story is about surgeons in
Chicagos Northwestern Memorial Hospital performing four-way kidney
transplants. In a rare medical event on April 3, 2007, four kidney donors gave
the gift of life to four recipients.
One of the nations largest paired exchanges began when four people, Niral
Patel, Pierre Kattar Sr., Crusita Nieves and Alice Smith, went to the hospital
in need of kidney transplants. Niral Patels mother, Vina Patel, intended to
donate an organ to her 25-year-old son, who suffered from polycystic kidney
disease and was on his fourth kidney. Meanwhile, as Pierre Kattars son had
planned to donate his kidney to his father and Crusita Nieves daughter,
Griselle Ortiz, prepared to donate her kidney to her mother; while, Alice
Smith also was in need of a kidney, but she had no donor.
An outside donor, a Northwestern Memorial employee 17-year transplant
nurse, was added to the donors mix. While initially intended donors didnt
match the would-be recipients, the hospital realized crossover matches existed
among the couples. Nurse Doug Penrod was a match for Nieves while Ortiz
matched Kattar Sr.; Kattar Jr. matched Niral Patel; and Vina Patel matched
Smith. The recipients had never met their donors before this encounter.
The group, age from 25 to 65, simultaneously underwent a day of surgeries
in three different operating rooms with six surgeons and 26 other clinicians to
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complete the transplants. The surgeries were performed simultaneously as a

way to ensure that the donors would follow through on their promise, in a
procedure where even determined donors could have a change of heart.
According to transplant surgeon and director of the living donor kidney
transplant program at Northwestern Memorial, Dr. Joseph Leventhal, the
implications of the operation are profound and the impact on the health of the
recipients will be measured in years. So called domino-paired exchanges like
this allow living donors to guarantee their loved ones get the kidney they so
desperately need, even if they cant be the ones to donate it.
The Rolling Stones are famous for their phrase about how you cant always
get what you want, but sometimes you can get what you need. Well, this case
proves that sometimes you can get what you want and what you need, for God
ultimately is in control, though He may laugh at man-made plans.
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Life is truly what you make of it

Success and happiness depend on how and how much you are prepared to
invest. Now, its not up to you to question, To be or not to be. As each year
passes, use this time to shape yourself to become. Its about you knowing
yourself, discovering you. If you dont know who you are and what you want
to be, its time to learn about yourself and to develop yourself into a whole
person.
As you strive to make the best of the opportunities you encounter and seek,
inevitably youre going to experience mixed results. As you proceed, you may
notice progress in your performance and experience hints of success.
However, do not let these little successes blind you with overconfidence and
ego. By contrast, if you feel discouraged, disappointed, defeated, if failures
and rejections are lurking around you, in your cynical moments, think about
people who fell flat on their faces before reaching their goals. Your failure
may very well turn into a steppingstone to lead you to success. Learn from
your experiences and never give up. There are no secrets to success. Its a
result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure, says Colin
Powell, former Secretary of State.
Ive encountered distressed and agitated clients walking into the Writing
Center weeks after the midterm exams are administered and asking for my
help on their time management essay, which was assigned to them in the
second week of the semester. When I asked them the reason for their
tardiness, they have responded, I had too much to do. I have seen them
tossing their poorly performed quizzes and tests papers in a recycling bin,
saying, I feel depressed looking at failing grades. I want to start with a clean
slate.
Yes! You guessed it right! We had a long talk before we worked on the
Time Management essay. My advice to them is DO NOT
PROCRASTINATE.
The key to success is to reduce stress. Avoid stress by staying current
whether with classes or any other mission. Remember five Ps: Prior
preparation prevents poor performance. Here are another set of five Ps to
guide you adequately toward making your prior preparation: prioritize,
prepare, prompt, participate and positive. Set your priorities. Prepare to
manage your time wisely and work hard. Avoid tardiness. Participate in each
activity enthusiastically, which may help boost your self-confidence and build
your self-esteem. Stay positive. Know that times can be good, bad or tough.
However, remember: Tough times dont last, tough people do.
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The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. When it comes to
learning, the idea of starting with a clean slate does not apply. Your learning
has to be cumulative and comprehensive. Learn bit by bit, store it in your
memory and then apply your leaning cohesively, promptly and skillfully. Poor
understanding of your subject matter and then attempting to learn it all on
your own in one week or even the infamous night before cram session
guarantees your failure.
You will never have control of your circumstances, but you always will
have control of choices. All it takes is one person to change your life for better
or for worse. And that one person is you. Its all about you and the choices
you make. Your happiness depends on it. You can achieve anything in life if
you have courage to dream it, the intelligence to make a realistic plan, and the
will to see that plan through to the end, assured Robert F. Kennedy. So
realize your dreams, be committed to work hard to persevere to bring them to
fruition. Remember, youre surrounded by a great support system. Believe in
your ability, respect guidance from elders, well-wishers, and teachers and
have faith in Gods grace.
May your sailing be smooth.
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Happy Halloween
Halloween is a colorful festival in this country. Its imagery is of death and

horror and depicts haunted houses, ghosts and evil witches flying off to
commit malevolence. (Probably, thats why we see next morning all that
toilette paper winding on trees!) Setting flames inside pumpkin heads,
displaying scarecrows around the houses, and decorating the halls with
boughs of phony bones and garlands of fake cobwebs, creating scary and
gross looking party food, though using all normal ingredients, also has been
part of the fun and enjoyment.
Considering the nature of the celebration, one would wonder why and how
this tradition came into existence. Observance of Halloween has its roots in
ancient times. The prehistoric Celts who occupied Europe believed that all the
people that had died during the year would pass to the other side on this one
night. Food was left and bonfires were lit to aid their journey.
The Celts would extinguish the home fire to keep spirits from seeing their
houses. Then wearing masks, they would head for the bonfire to dance around
the fire and feast on the fruits of harvest. At nights end each family would
take a torch and light it from the bonfire to relight their home fire.
The druidspriests of ancient Gaul and Britainbelieved that witches,
demons and spirits of the dead roamed the earth on new years eve, October
31. Believing that evil spirits were afraid of fires, the druids lit bonfires to
drive them away, and to protect themselves from the mean tricks of evil
spirits, they disguised as evil spirits, so the evil spirits wouldnt recognize
them and harm them. They also tried to placate them with sweets.
Much later the Roman Catholic Church set aside the 1st day of November
to honor all the saints who had no special day of their own. The saints were
known as the hallowed or holy ones. Their special day was known as All
Saints Day or Hallows Day. And the night before was called All
Hallows Even. Later it was shortened to Halloween.
Halloween also represents the Day of the Dead, an ancient festivity that has
been transformed throughout the years. It was originally in prehistoric Mexico
to celebrate children and the dead and served as a reminder of their dead and
the continuity of life. This day families visit their relatives graves to spruce
up and decorate the grave sites.
They feast on food such as freshly harvested fruits, bread, and lots of
sweets, some shaped like skulls, and share stories of the departed. The
abundance of food, drink, good company and conversation creates a festive
atmosphere, along with recognizing the cycle of life by the functioning of the
living with the dead.
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People dress as skeletons, ghosts and goblins, walk in parades, dance in the
streets, hold home feasts and give away loaves of bread, Bread of the Dead.
Inside the bread are hidden sugar skeletons and other items of a death motif.
This gift will be more prized if the skull or skeleton is embossed with ones
own name. The families also attend candle lit ceremonies in church and offer
prayers. The whole ceremony is about life from beginning to end.
Certainly ancient imageries celebrate righteous heroism in the battle of
Light versus Darkness to grace our spirits; certain images also face the Other
side and produce effigies to haunt our subconscious. Thus the Halloween
celebration by playing Trick or Treat came into existence.
The autumn leaves, cornstalks, apples, pumpkins and nuts that are so much
a part of the Halloween are reminder of the druids autumn festival in honor of
the new harvest.
Chaperons for trick-or-treaters should review the rules of Halloween safety
and warn children to be careful while crossing streets. Its probably going to
be very dark. Masks and costume parts can make it difficult to see oncoming
traffic. Carry a flashlight with you and keep it on, and aluminum foil stapled
to your trick-or-treat bag makes an excellent reflector so that drivers are able
to see you.
In addition, children should be warned not to eat any treat until it has been
brought home and inspected by an adult. Go trick-or-treating only to the
houses of people you know. Some have started to give away small prizes like
pencils, rings, stickers, instead of food, to minimize those risky tricks. You
may have heard that this year some children are trick-or treating for money,
instead of candy, to help Hurricane Katrina victims.
Make your Halloween safe and enjoyable. Happy Trick-or-Treat.
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Time to relish in simple pleasures

Saturday, December 13, 2008
Nowadays watching news on the TV is downright depressing. TV does an

excellent job in showing how badly the current economic downslide is
affecting the working middle-class.
The Smiths, David and Bridget, parents of four children, from Corona,
Calif., have traditionally hosted holiday meals in their home with members of
their extended family. David sells security systems to car dealers and Bridget
worked for Merrill Lynch before becoming a stay-at home mom. Until now,
money had never been issue for the Smiths. However, the current slump in
auto sales has crumbled Mr. Smiths business and forced him to go on
unemployment benefits.
For the Smiths, the holidays are going to be different this year. For one
thing, they might not have a table to dine on. The Smiths are putting the
familys furniture up for sale on Craigslist in an effort to pay the mortgage,
which is behind schedule. The family has applied for food stamps. They never
expected to be relying on government aid to pay for their familys staples.
The Smiths arent alone. According to an Agriculture Department report
published recently, one in eight Americans struggled to feed themselves even
before this years economic slump. Now, these unprecedented numbers have
been affected by the collapse of the housing market and unemployment.
Its easy to fantasize and expect magical miracles over the holidays; however,
unfortunately, one must learn to deal with reality. The saddened parents who
face sudden job loss say there wont be any gifts under the Christmas tree for
their children.
Maybe its time to learn to be less materialistic, focus on lasting happiness
and what our children really need. I remember watching a movie A Town
without Christmas, which shows a childs happiness does not revolve around
materialistic expectations.
An alienated and depressed child called Chris from the small town of
Seacliff, Wash., writes a disturbing letter to Santa Claus expressing his wish
to leave this world so he will no longer be a burden to his divorcing parents.
He concludes, Im ready to leave this world and I know how to do it. The
writing captures the nations attention; a race begins to find the child before
he harms himself. Media frenzy kicks off. A serious television reporter, M.J.
Jensen, is one among those sent to uncover the childs identity and to stop him
from making good on his threat.
Workaholic Jensen has given up on love since getting dumped by her
fianc three years ago. On her way to Seacliff, she meets David Reynolds, a
struggling writer who has just lost his job at a greeting card company. As the
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two are on the mission of finding Chris, they encounter Max, an unlikely
angel, who nudges M.J. and David toward not only Chris but also each other
and the holiday spirit. He helps rekindle their belief in love. Ultimately, they
find the child and with great persuasion, they bring him home to unite his
parents who are waiting along with the entire towns people in the dark,
symbolizing a town without Christmas. As soon as Chris is brought home, the
Christmas lights are lit. The town unwraps the holiday cheer and rejoices in a
holiday spirit.
The key here is the child didnt expect pricey gifts. All he wanted was his
parents to stay together and provide him a loving two-parent home. By the
way, table or not, the Smiths are still grateful for having the whole family
lovingly together in good health. The Smiths, along with millions of others,
are trying to be as lighthearted as they can be in hopes that when things pick
up theyll get really nice things again.
Parents should focus on spending time with their children and making
everlasting memories. Gifts or no gifts, parents still can make this holiday a
unique experience by recounting their childhood Christmas memories, which
were not so prosperous, but still how meaningful those occasions were for the
entire family. Bake together inexpensive holiday treats and ask the children to
share those with extended family and friends. Take the children out to
volunteer.
Uncertainty ups and downs are the unavoidable course of life. Its good to
show them that when times get tough, family must stay together, caring and
loving each other and relishing faith with family and friends to see the tough
times through. Children are lot smarter and more understanding than we think.
Let us hope the current fiscal crisis turns soon into a thing of the past. And
stars start shining in a seemingly dark sky, like they always have.
Lest we forget home is where the heart is!
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Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I was drawn to the storyline of Curious Case of Benjamin Button, as soon

as the news media started talking about the movie, i.e. long before it received
an astounding 13 Oscar nominations. It is an interesting, emotional, epic story
of contradictions, both internal and external. It is based on the short story of
the same name written by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Benjamin is a child born weathered and wrinkly, as if a 70-year-old man
had shrunk down to the size of a baby, and he ages in reverse. Its unusual
development makes the viewers just watch from a distance rather than allow
them to be a part of the larger-than-life story.
However, the core of what piques my interest in this film is that this story
reminds me of a story I read in my early teens. It was a story of Emperor
Yayati, one of the ancestors of the Pandavas, a dynasty in epic the
Mahabharata. He had never known defeat. He followed the dictates of the
scriptures, adored the gods and venerated his ancestors with intense devotion.
He became famous as a ruler devoted to the welfare of his subjects.
However, for having wronged his wife, Devayani, Yayati was cursed by
his father-in-law, Sukracharya, who is considered worthy to be the preceptor
of the world. As a result, Yayati instantaneously turned into a haggard. When
Yayati begged for mercy, Sukracharya ameliorated the curse and said, If
someone exchanges his youth for your old age, you may return to youth and
be able to indulge in youthful pleasures as you desire.
Overwhelmed by his sensuality, haggard Yayati called his five sons who
were virtuous and well accomplished. Haunted by the horrors of loss that
accentuated pangs of youthful recollection, he appealed to their affection and
said, The curse of your grandfather Sukracharya has prematurely turned me
into an old man. One of you ought to bear the burden of my old age by
exchanging your youth for my old age. He who agrees to bestow his youth on
me will be the ruler of my kingdom. I desire to enjoy life in the full vigor of
youth.
He begged his sons one by one for a swap. The first four sons modestly
denied their fathers request, saying that they were not ready to take up old
age that destroys not only strength, beauty and wisdom but also speech and
could not stand being mocked by women and servants.
Angry and disappointed, struck with sorrow at the refusal, Yayati
supplicated his youngest son, Puru, You must save me from this afflicted old
age, wrinkles, debility and grey hair. If you will take upon yourself this
infirmity, I shall enjoy life for a while more and then return your youth to
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resume my old age and all its sorrows, with which I have been cursed. Pray,
do not refuse as your elder brothers have.
Moved by filial love, Puru said: Father, I gladly give you my youth and
relieve you of the sorrows of old age and cares of the state. Be happy.
Delighted, Yayati embraced his son. And with that embrace, Yayati became a
youth. The suddenly matured Puru ruled the kingdom and acquired great
renown.
Feeling futile, after spending a while in indulgence, Yayati returned to
Puru and admitted, Dear son, sensual desire is never quenched by indulgence
any more than fire is by pouring ghee in it. I had heard and read this but till
now had not realized it. No object of desire, corn, gold, cattle or women,
nothing can ever satisfy the desire of man. We can reach peace only by a
mental poise beyond likes and dislikes. Such is the state of Brahman. Take
back your youth and rule the kingdom wisely. With these words, Yayati took
his old age and retired to the forest to spend the rest of his life in austerity.
Life is complicated. Layers in life get peeled one by one with or without
our choice or approval. At times life moves forward in such a way that one
has no choice but to accept it and move on. The story is about seizing the
opportunity to learn from others experience.
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The way of the world

Wednesday, February 15, 2009
I made a little time on a recent weekend to take a breather. As I sat quietly,

I realized a streak of thoughts that made a lasting impression lingered in the
back of my mind. The thoughts secured in a private compartment of my head
peeked out occasionally interrupting me in an abnormal way.
I reflected on the bygone week to search for the specifics. This was Super
Bowl weekend. I felt it was an overwhelmingly crowded week for me,
though I could remember nothing particular I did that week. As I retraced
what happened, I realized it was the news media.
I remembered how deeply I was saddened as I watched the Jan. 27 news
broadcast about the slow, painful freezing death of 93-year-old Marvin Schur,
a World War II veteran. He had no children and his wife, a retired school
teacher, had died several years ago. Since he owed more than $1,000 to the
citys municipal power company, the company had apparently restricted
Schurs electrical use. His body was found on the floor next to the bed inside
his Bay City home on Jan. 17, a few days after a limiter was installed to
control his power use. The temperature inside Schurs house was below 32
degrees and the water in the kitchen sink had frozen, said Dr. Kanu Virani, the
Oakland County deputy chief medical examiner who performed the autopsy
on Schur. What makes me sadder is that he had the resources, but he couldnt
keep up with the payment. Maybe he just didnt remember to pay the utility
bills.
Another sad news broadcast on Jan. 28, a jobless man killed his jobless
wife, five children and himself in Wilmington, a small community between
ports Los Angeles and Long Beach. The couple had just been fired from their
hospital jobs and together planned the killings as an escape for the whole
family. Why leave our children in someone elses hands, Ervin Lupoe wrote
in a letter posted on the KABC-TV Web site. How sad! The Lupoes thought
this was the only way to keep the family together.
Watching the news broadcasts about a bold move of former executives in
times of rampant unemployment solaced me a little. Mark Perry, a 47-year-old
former executive, used to make $250,000 a year, but now, unable to find a job
in the depressed mortgage business, has turned to the skill he learned when he
was just 7 years old, shining shoes, to make ends meet. And Michael Terry,
another former executive who also made big bucks as an investment banker at
Morgan Stanley in New York, is spending his free time rehearsing routines
with other comedians and is making others laugh. Kudos to Terry and
Stanley! They stand tall with their self-esteem intact. Positive stories filled
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with hope and humility always encourage the ones who are going through
lifes ordeals.
While the ordinary taxpayers are praying and hoping that they stay
employed and struggling to keep a roof over their heads and feed and clothe
their children, a single mother of six, ages 2 to 7, after having fertility
treatment and eight embryos implanted last year, gave birth to octuplets. This
woman and her doctors unethical behavior bothered me. Suleman had all 14
of her children through in vitro fertilization. Seems like this 33-year-old
mother, on welfare and living with her parents, is obsessively on the mission
of having babies at anyones cost. Not counting the hospital bills, about $2
million experts estimate, just to provide the basic necessities to raise these
kids is probably going to cost about $2-1/2 million a year. It is hard to imagine
the emotional stress she will have to bear while raising 14 children and how
well the babies are going to be cared for. The good news is the octuplets are
fairly healthy.
Two other reports grabbed my attention. Each one of the 69 Super Bowl
commercials, costing $3 million per 30-second spot, were sold out for 2009.
And a Boca Raton family spent over $150,000 to get their Yellow Labrador,
Lancelot, cloned, after it died of cancer. This sort of lavish spending in this
dire economy made me wonder about the spenders priorities.
One may wonder how indifferent the way of the world is! It is filled with
various personalities, since each person is made of his/her own thoughts and
beliefs. Well! Its the way we are and thats why we came this far. Therefore,
however hard it is, we must learn to balance our feelings with our spirituality
and intellect to get along cordially together.
And finally, as the way of world followed its own course, and each one
was rushing to get done his/her own business, 94-year-old Orangeburg
businessman and attorney Austin Cunningham departed this world peacefully.
No matter how old the departed was, death is always sad for those loved ones
who are left behind. However, as its said, Death is a common lot to all,
Cunningham lived a long life serving the community and making a difference.
I believe he intuitively knew that it was time for him to say goodbye, so he
blissfully passed on in his sleep on Monday morning, January 26, to be with
the Heavenly Father. What a blessing!
The Orangeburg community is going to miss him. May Austin Cunninghams
soul rest in peace.
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Learning never ends

Monday, May 4, 2009
The academic year is about to come to an end. Students, teachers,

administrators all are busy in their own way to see their responsibilities
through to end the year smoothly and successively. As busy as I have been, I
cant forget this non-traditional students response. How old you think I am!
Are you comparing me to those young chicks? she adamantly queried and
then mumbled, You expect me to do as well as they are doing on my
schoolwork. I told her frankly that I wouldnt expect any less than that.
I quoted Mrs. Nola Ochs statement, I dont dwell on my age. It might
limit what I can do. As long as I have my mind and health, its just a number,
to encourage her. And I asked her if she had watched news media widely
broadcasting Ochs, a 95-year-old, graduating from Fort Hays State University
in May 2007. Ochs replaced 90-year-old Mozelle Richardson, who received a
journalism degree from the University of Oklahoma in 2004, from Guinness
World Records for being the worlds oldest person to be awarded a college
degree. An added joy for Ochs was that her 21-year-old granddaughter,
Alexandra Ochs, graduated with her.
Ochs started taking classes at Dodge City Community College after her
husband of 39 years, Vernon, died in 1972. When she was close to having
enough hours for an undergraduate degree, Ochs moved the 100 miles from
her farm southwest of Jetmore to an apartment on campus to complete the
final 30 hours to get a general studies degree with a concentration on history,
something that she always wanted to do. Studying and learning always gave
her a feeling of satisfaction, Ochs said.
She earned her reputation at the university not only as studious but also as
witty, charming and down to earth. And her joy was that not only everybody
accepted her but the students respected her. Though at first, History
Department Chair Todd Leahy wondered if Ochs could keep up with the other
students, in the end he confessed that within a couple of weeks, not only was
he confirmed of her ability but also he discovered she could provide tidbits of
history. For instance, Ochs offered recollections of the 1930s Midwest dust
bowl, how skies were so dark that they had to light lamps during the day and
place wet sheets over windows to keep out dust that sounded like pelting sleet
hitting the house.
During a discussion about World War II, Ochs told how she and her
husband, along with other wheat farmers in the area, grew soybeans on some
of their acres for the war effort. I would have never talked about that in class,
but she brought it up and we talked about it, said Leahy, who had Ochs in
four classes.
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Ochs neither complained about the work, nor asked for special
considerations; in fact, she often added color to the face of history, added her
professor. Ochs, also happily admitted that she has learned new things and has
attained a better understanding of Russian history and the role Dwight
Eisenhower played in the D-Day invasion.
Lest we forget, 95-year-old Ochs, immediately after her graduation, was
looking forward to getting home to help with the wheat harvest, as she has
done every year for as long as she remembered. After harvest, her plans were
to travel or take more classes at a community college. And then, at the
medias query, with a smile, she had added, Im going to seek employment
on a cruise ship as a storyteller.
Ochs life exemplifies her love for learning and teaching. As a teenager on
a Hodgeman County farm, then as a teacher at a one-room school after
graduating from high school and later as a farm wife and mother, she
ceaselessly followed her dream. Ochs has raised four sons a fourth died in
1995 and been blessed with 13 grandchildren and 15 great-grandchildren.
Theyre all such fine boys, she said. Our main crop is our children, and the
farm is a good place to raise them.
What better example anyone can be than Mrs. Nola Ochs to encourage
each and every one to keep learning, regardless! Learning is truly life-long.
Never cease to dream and never stop learning. Lead a successful life by using
your education to improve your life and the lives of others.
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Pick-me-up moment: a success story

Friday, May16, 2009
Some students have a knack of seeking, even at times demanding, a special

attention from their professors, advisers, mentors. With their own special
ways, whims, attitudes, or even, at times, by annoyance, they end up
occupying a special place in their targeted audiences hearts. And Mrs. Dianna
Williamson was one among them.
Mrs. Williamson grabbed my attention as soon as the spring semester of
2007 began.
On her very first day at the writing center, she caught me off guard when
she straightforwardly asked me, Do you know how old I am? Realizing she
looked a little more mature than our regular students and thinking that she
might be one of the Continuing Studies candidates, I told her, No, for me age
doesnt matter; its just a number to me. After this conversation, she never
hesitated to come to me whether it was to seek help, ask a question, make a
statement, display her frustration, or if she needed break from her studies,
even to annoy me pleasantly. I learned that she had attended Claflin from
August 1999-2002, and now she had returned to Claflin just to finish the
required coursework to get her degree.
Then one day, in summer 2007 when I came to my office in Trustee Hall to
work on my research and writing, I was pleasantly surprised to find a
handwritten note under my door: When I first saw Mrs. Hiremath several
years ago, I was not formally introduced to her. I often observed her from a
distance. I often thought that she was a very elegant but unique individual, and
I also thought that she was a very mean, unfriendly person. Then when I
finally returned to Claflin University after several years, I had the privilege of
meeting Mrs. Hiremath at the universitys Writing Lab. She was absolutely
opposite of what I had thought of what she was. I have learned that one should
not judge the book by its cover, and have often told by people who have so
often experienced the same situation.
Her note continued, Dr. Hiremath is such a wonderful person; I have
come to appreciate her sense of humor. She is also very positive, and she
enjoys empowering others, challenging them to achieve greatness and be the
very best persons they can be in their life. I only wish that there were others
that were as committed as she is to challenge young adults to look inside their
hearts and reach for the star. It was from Mrs. Dianna Williamson. Of course,
I have saved the note. And it made my day.
Mrs. Williamson worked very hard and long hours, and lest we forget, she
spent two hours early mornings and late evenings, to commute each day to
school (Though more often, she complained about gas being so expensive).
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She took two courses and an hour of biology lab in the summer session to
complete the required credit hours.
I was pleased to see Dianna Williamson recently. As she, along with her
son, Leviticus, a junior at Wade Hampton High School, walked into the
writing center and greeted me, I enquired how she was doing and opined,
You look happier. She responded, a little but Im not there yet, where I
would like to be.
Currently, Mrs. Williamson is working at Estill High School. She is
teaching the College Summit program. Seeing that students like Mrs.
Williamson are successful, we teachers feel gratified. Teaching is gratifying
only when it is successful.
Mrs. Williamson mentioned she might teach for a little while. And then she
plans to attend the University of South Carolina to pursue a degree in library
science.
I wish Mrs. Williamson the best of luck in her endeavors and all the
happiness in her life. She has earned it. And she definitely deserves it.
Students who struggle hard against all odds and persevere always earn a
special place in their teachers hearts.
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Stand as an untouchable
Thursday, May 28, 2009
It is quite normal that graduating seniors have been asked frequently by

many, So, now that youre graduating, what you plan on doing for work?
Expectations of success seem reasonable; however, when the class of 2009
entered college in 2005, the economy was in good shape and there seemed to
be little doubt that most of them would end their college years with offers to
work in the field of their choice. However, now, the economy mired in
recession and thousands of graduates are collecting their diplomas without a
job at all.
Until now a common piece of advice usually given by commencement
speakers all over the land to graduates, Do what you love, was considered
warm and gooey career advice, as Dan Pink called it. However, the advice
today actually, as we ponder, is a hard-headed survival strategy.
As graduates grab their diplomas, the degree that symbolizes their
readiness to enter a new world, they are (expected to be) on their own. But
they need to be prepared to face the reality of todays hard times.
Thomas L. Friedman advises graduates to stand as untouchables. He
writes in his 2005 publication, The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the
Twenty-first Century, When the world gets flat, everyone should want to be
an untouchable. What is flattening the world, according to him, is our ability
to automate more work with computers and software and to transit that work
anywhere in the world that it can be done more efficiently or cheaply due to
the new global fiber optic network. Therefore, only the good jobs that will
remain will be those that cannot be automated or outsourced.
Friedmans advice is to protect ones interest, as the world gets flat; he or
she should want to be untouchable. He defines, Untouchables are people
whose jobs cannot be shipped to India or done by a machine. He illustrates
who are untouchables: First, they are people who are really special Michael
Jordan, Barbara Streisand. Their talents can never be automated or
outsourced. Second, people who are really specialized brain surgeons,
designers, consultants or artists. Third, people who are anchored and whose
jobs have to be done in a specific location from nurses to hairdressers to
chefs, and lastly, and this is going to apply to many of us, people who are
adaptable people can change with changing times and changing industries.
There is much better chance that graduates will make themselves special,
specialized or adaptable, a much better chance that they will bring that
something extra, what Dan Pink called, a sense of curiosity, aesthetics, and
joyfulness to their work, if they do what they love and love what they do.
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In addition, all good gurus, teachers and academic staff, are advising
graduates to look at the bright side; the recession also is giving students
breathing room to try new things, such as learning to play musical
instruments, volunteering for a nonprofit. It has also promoted some graduates
to consider jobs they might not have thought of previously, such as
volunteering with the Peace Corps or taking a job teaching English in a
foreign country. Overall, the advice is not to panic; knuckle down with the
hope the economy will change for the better.
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Waking up: One of those days

Thursday, June 11, 2009
All of a sudden I started hearing music from afar. As it approached close

and closer, feeling important, I thought someone was serenading me. I tried to
look closely to see the singers face, but I heard rather sonorous singing, I
hope you dare It didnt sound very romantic. Subconsciously, my
fingers tapped the snooze button and I rolled over, curling into fetal position, I
dozed.
In a haze, I tried to remember if I was one among the Celebrity 100,
Forbes annual list of the worlds most powerful and best-paid celebrities.
I saw images of Madonna, Tiger Woods, Johnny Depp, Mel Gibson, Oprah,
etc., etc., but not mine. Thinking that Forbes mustve made a mistake, I tried
to replace each face, one by one, with mine. As I covered Madonnas, but
realized I couldnt sing and dance like her; Tiger Woods a guy, too young,
Mel Gibsons No way Jose, I heard somebodys whisper instantly.
How about Oprah, I enquired, then again thought nay. Then came
Johnny Depps turn. I felt fascinated by his adventures, but again
remembered, when I had asked on the telephone what the bedtime story was
about, my then-2-3/4-year-old granddaughter, Shaila, had responded, The
story was about pirates, Grandma; pirates are very scary, you know. Though
immediately she had tried to console me by saying, but they are in the book
only, Grandma; you dont be scared, I could hear scare in her voice, so I
didnt want to frighten my innocent grandchild. Thus, Johnny Depp was out.
As I was feeling sad and disappointed for not making the list, I heard, Dr.
Mathhire, I need your help. As I turned around to look at the customer, I
heard students collective giggle. The alarm buzzed off the snooze pause. It
was time for the reality check. I was wide awake. I jumped off the bed to get
ready to go to work.
It was just one of those days. I just didnt feel like snapping out of my
comfort zone. However, as I realized that I wasnt one among the rich and
famous, I needed to be at work. My students needed me. I was energized.
While getting ready, as I thought about my dozing, and the hazy fantasy of
being one among the worlds richest, I couldnt help but smirk. I have realized
time and time again that all it takes is getting off the bed; once it is done, its
not difficult for me to get ready to go to work. Going to work and
accomplishing something positive makes my day and helps me forget my
disappointment for not being one among the most rich and powerful.
Now, the voice that woke me up was very dear and important to me, for
she sought as much help from me as she could while she worked on finishing
her writing assignments and papers. She was one of my regular clients at the
writing center; however, she seldom addressed me by my proper name, Mrs.
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Hiremath. It was hard to imagine how she would address me next: Ms.
Math, Dr. Herman, Ms. Hire, Dr. Mathhire and so on
Mrs. Dianna Williamson was from Varnville. She used to commute to
Claflin University, so if she wasnt attending a class or didnt go out to get
something to eat or run errands, Mrs. Williamson would be in the Writing
Center from about 8:30 a.m. until she left for the day, about 5:30 p.m. Though
she never learned to address me by my proper name, she earned a very special
place in my heart.
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Identifying the solution

Readers occasionally ask me how I choose what to write about. And my

response to them has been the source of my writing is readers encouragement
through their compliments. While complimenting, they occasionally disclose
their expectation or likings.
For instance, recently, this lady, at the shopping center, came close to me
and complacently said, I have been keeping track of your columns; I enjoy
reading them. Referring to my column, An aim of education, which ran in the
Times and Democrat as an Op/Ed column on May 9 (posted in Section II,
Commencement Day), she said she was looking forward to reading a followup. She disclosed her interest in knowing what solution Dr. Erich Fromm
suggested in the end of his argument, Our Way of Life Makes Us Miserable.
Refusing to identify fun with pleasure, excitement with joy, business with
happiness, or the faceless, buck-passing organization man with an
independent individual, Fromm states that our society of consumption-happy,
fun-loving, jet-traveling people creates anxiety, unhappiness helplessness and
stress, and, eventually, leads to the disintegration of our culture. He declares
modern industrialism has succeeded in producing an alienated man whose
actions and his own forces have become estranged from him. He is being
ruled by them and the means have become the end for him. His life forces
have been transformed into things and institutions, and these things and
institutions have become idols, which he worships and to which he submits.
He is the prisoner of the very economic and political circumstances he has
created.
Our society is becoming one of giant enterprises directed by a
bureaucracy in which man becomes a small, well-oiled cog in the machinery,
he states. The oiling is done with higher wages, fringe benefits, wellventilated factories and piped music, and by psychologists and humanrelations experts; yet all this oiling does not alter the facts that man does not
wholeheartedly participate in his work and that he is bored with it. The blueand white-collar workers have become economic puppets who dance to the
tune of automated machines and bureaucratic management.
The worker and employee are anxious because they not only might find
themselves out of a job but also are unable to acquire any real satisfaction or
interest in life. They live and die without ever having confronted the
fundamental realties of human existence as emotionally and intellectually
productive, authentic and independent human beings.
Pointing out rates of alcoholism, suicide and divorce, as well as juvenile
delinquency, gang rule, acts of violence, and indifference to life, Fromm calls
them characteristic symptoms of our pathology of normalcy. Taking into
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consideration ones probable argument that all these pathological phenomena

exist because we havent yet reached our aim of being an affluent society, he
asks, Yet will we be happier then? when we eventually produce a materially
affluent society.
He notes that Sweden, one of the most prosperous, democratic and
peaceful European countries, has one of the highest alcoholism and suicide
rates in Europe despite all of its material security. Could it be that our dream
that material welfare per se leads to happiness is just a pipe dream? asks
Fromm.
Certainly the humanist thinkers of the 18th and 19th centuries, who are our
ideological ancestors, thought that the goal of life was the full unfolding of a
persons potentialities; what mattered to them was the person who is much,
not the one who has much or uses much. For them, economic production
was a means to the unfolding of a man, not an end. It seems that today the
means have become ends, that God is dead, as Nietzsche said in the 19th
century, but man is also dead; that it is the organizations, the machines, that
are alive; and that man has become their slave rather than serving as their
master.
Dr. Fromm, however, does not suggest that modern man is doomed and
that we should return to the preindustrial mode of production or to 19th
century free enterprise capitalism. Problems are never solved by returning
to a stage which one has already outgrown. Instead, he suggests transforming
our social system from bureaucratically managed industrialism in which
maximal production and consumption are ends in themselves into a humanist
industrialism in which man and the full development of his potentialities of
love and of reason are the aims of all social arrangements. Production and
consumption should serve only as means to this end, and should be prevented
from ruling man.
To attain this goal, he writes, we need to create a renaissance of
Enlightenment and of Humanism. However, this Enlightenment must be more
radically realistic and critical than that of the 17th and 18th centuries. It must
be Humanism that aims at the full development of the total man, not the
gadget man, not the organization man. The aim of a humanist society is the
man who loves life, who has faith in life, who is productive and independent.
Such a transformation is possible only if we recognize that our present way of
life makes us sterile and eventually destroys the vitality necessary for survival.
Second-guessing about the likeliness of such transformation, Dr. Fromm
states, we will be able to succeed only if we see the alternatives clearly and
realize that the choice is still ours. Dissatisfaction with our way of life is the
first step toward changing it. Insisting that these changes must take place in all
spears simultaneously the economic, the social, the political and the
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spiritual, he reasons, Change in only one spear will lead into blind alleys, as
did the purely political French Revolution and purely economic Russian
Revolution. Man is a product of circumstances but the circumstances are
also his product. He has a unique capacity that differentiates him from all
other living beings: the capacity to be aware of himself and of his
circumstances, and hence to plan and to act according to his awareness.
Thus, here is the follow-up.
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Turn off the television

Children are out of school for summer vacation. Teachers may go on

vacations, as well. Maybe parents too are looking forward to a much-needed
break from the long drive to and from each day, packing lunches, getting
stains out of school uniforms. It would be easy for parents to flip on the TV to
sedate noisy kids, but it is evidenced that television is doing children
irreparable harm by making them addictive.
Reportedly, the average U.S. household has at least one TV set turned on
for about seven hours a day. The average school-aged child spends 28 hours
per week watching TV; some preschoolers watch much more. Over the course
of a year, children spend more time watching TV than they spend in school or
participating in any other activity, except sleep. Childrens TV shows contain
about 20 violent acts per hour. And generally accepted results are they
become less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others; they become more
fearful of the world around them, and they are more likely to behave toward
others in aggressive or harmful ways. In addition, all that sitting around makes
them fat. American kids are in worse physical shape than theyve ever been.
As children start watching TV, their brains are turned off, and they are
abandoned of social interaction and are bombarded by hours of advertising
that help them shape desires, influence preferences, change buying habits,
create brand loyalty. These ads have an impact on kids health. Pediatricians
and nutritionists agree that rising obesity among young people is closely
linked to an increasing consumption of candy, soft drinks and fatty snack
foods, added to the fast choice of leisurely activities like watching TV,
playing video games, or being occupied hours after hours in a computer chatroom. Therefore, experts advice is to unplug your family from the television,
sedentary games and mindless activities.
However, I believe children shouldnt feel deprived. After working hard in
school, finishing their homework and chores, in the evenings, on weekends,
our kids should be allowed if they want to spend their downtime, an hour or a
couple of hours in front of the tube. There are educational programs on the
TV. If parents monitor what their children watch and how long and discuss
with them what they watched, this source can be an effective tool.
Especially in summer vacation, after spending each day reading, playing
outdoors, hiking, catching up on hobbies, doing crafts, visiting interesting
places, and even daydreaming, if children want to spend their downtime
watching TV, parents should allow them to do so, under their guidance.
Though summer months cry out for flexibility, its wise not to relinquish
basic family rules and routines. Its tempting to let kids stay up late watching
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TV in summer, but a little sleep deprivation can lead to irritability at any time
of year, so its better to maintain basic bedtime habits.
Encourage children to stick to their scheduled chores and other established
behaviors. The way to manage summers lack of structure is to strike the
balance between free time and planned time and its going to require parents
time, attention and patience.
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Finding solace in humanly possible way

We read obituaries, attend memorial services, mourn departed ones, try to

comfort the loved ones that are left behind and try to make sense of death in a
humanly possible way. Death is certain for that which is born. When
someones time is up, it doesnt matter if the subject was young or old, rich or
pure, male or female, sick or healthy or which race or religion he or she
belonged to. And all other considerations and reasoning stop. The only final
closure is Gods will, and we must accept it.
Though one goes through this saying goodbye ritual time-and-again, he
or she never gets used to experiencing the feelings of sadness and anguish
caused by the loss. By making their house a living shrine and depriving
themselves from lifes pleasures, the survived try to keep the departed alive in
their own way.
I believe a better way to immortalize the departed is to donate his or her
organs before they turn into dust or ashes and help improve someone elses
quality of life. Let death be a new beginning! Nowadays, many people are
donating organs of their departed loved ones and finding solace in a humanly
possible way. Here is a touching story.
Susan Whitmans husband, Joseph Helfgot, made it absolutely clear that
should the worst happen, he wanted his organs donated to those who needed
them. He died during a heart transplant last month, as he suffered a series of
strokes during the operation. Immediately after his death, learning that another
man needed the organs desperately, Mrs. Whitman prepared herself to fulfill
her husbands wish.
A catastrophe took place in 2005. James Maki fell on the electrified third
rail of a Boston subway track. He was badly burned and lost his nose, upper
lip, cheeks, bone muscle and nerves in the accident. Immediate surgeries
restored some function; however, he still was missing a nose and was grossly
disfigured. For three years he struggled to eat and speak. It is hard for us to
imagine how difficult it was for Maki and how his wife and other loved ones
felt to see what he was going through.
Then on April 9, four years after that dreadful day, the day before
Helfgots funeral, doctors performed a 17-hour surgery to graft Helfgots face
onto Makis. Surgeons replaced Makis nose, hard palate, upper lip, skin,
muscles and nerves.
After Maki recovered, he was able to meet the family that gave him a new
chance at life. I want to say thank you to Susan and her husband Joseph for
the gift they have given me. I will be forever grateful, Maki said. I also want
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to thank the doctors and nurses who have given me a new chance to live my
life. I now see this chance as a way to start fresh.
Mrs. Whitman too was happy to turn such a great tragedy in a positive
ending. Josephs life ended too soon, but it is my great joy to meet Jim, she
said. Its a miracle and a blessing. Though donating a face is much different
than donating other organs, I saw James Maki. I did not see my husband at
all, not at all, Mrs. Whitman said.
A group of sensible, kindhearted, and skilled professionals came together
for the recipient and his family. Kudos to all! Nothing can be greater gift than
a gift of life. Here, the new beginning has an upper hand, not the death. What
one can ask more than that!
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Do you want to be that person?

Reading that Bristol Palin didnt go to her prom or any high school
graduation parties because of her responsibilities, and how, wearing a dress
with baby spit-up on, she attended her high school graduation ceremony
reminded me of how my students juggled the demands of being single parents.
Palin planned to start classes at a college near her home this summer while
juggling part-time jobs and caring for her son. She told People magazine that
she has broken up with the babys father. She pays for the babys diapers
and formula by working part-time at a cafe and babysitting for other families
while one of her relatives looks after Tripp. In addition, she is involved in a
campaign advocating abstinence.
The theme of this column reminded me how far I have come and carried
me back two decades. The spring semester of 1986 turned out to be quite an
educational one for me. I just had joined Claflin and was teaching freshman
English lab classes. I liked my job and loved my students.
One week looking at the role book, I realized that a couple of students had
been absent for an entire week. Next week when one showed up, after the
class was over, I asked her the reason. She told me that her baby was sick, and
she couldnt find a babysitter. I was surprised to learn that she was the mother
of a 1-1/2-year-old baby boy, and she wasnt even 18.
Then, after missing classes for a week and half, this other guy showed up.
He told me his former girlfriend, the mother of his child, was sick, so he had
to go pick up his daughter from another town and care for her until the mother
felt well.
This was all unusual to me. At their age all I did was go to school, return
straight home, study and get ready for the next days school. Mom made the
lunches and dinners and daddy paid the bills; I had nothing to worry about.
We socialized in extended families and close-knit community where
abstinence was never a subject that needed to be taught. It was deeply rooted
in our culture. Wait until you get married was the norm. We didnt know
anything different.
Parenthood is not a piece of cake even in adulthood when there is a
major breadwinner in the family. It has its perks, though. It is gratifying when
parents get to enjoy it. However, these kids were too young to be parents. I
felt overwhelmed just to think about the responsibility they had to carry.
And then by the middle of the semester, I noticed that one of the female
students was expecting.
I must confess. Learning about her pregnancy, I didnt favor her. I thought
these students were like my children, and as I would expect of my children,
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they should be in school and studying. My attitude was that getting pregnant
was not their business.
My children knew how deeply I cared about my students progress.
However, they tried to remind me that I was living in a culture far different
than where I was born and raised. Also, I could only love my students but
couldnt discipline them like my own. Fortunately, my students took it well,
for they knew how sincere my concerns were.
Curious to learn about this expecting mothers situation, I asked her to stop
by my office. When she promptly came by, I learned that she was not even 18
and her pregnancy was a result of contraceptive failure. Her single mother was
also disappointed. Admitting that it was a mistake, she promised me that she
would work hard to further her education and excel. Her remorse seemed
genuine. I simply asked her to take care of her health and study well.
And then in the first week of September, I heard a knock on my office
door. When I said, Come in, holding 3-weeks-old baby boy in her arms, she
walked in with a smile. I got off the chair to hold her beautiful son. She
seemed happy but was not oblivious to the challenges that lay ahead of her.
She told me that her mother had been a little more accepting and she had
broken up with her babys father. She added, I need to graduate and be a
good mother to my son. I cannot afford diversion.
Over the next three years, she stayed in touch and reported her progress
frequently. Each time she brought her son to the campus, she dropped by so I
could see him growing into a toddler. Later, during each visit, he would just
run toward me and hug. He was such a delightful soul. Her visits were short;
there was less talk but more intimacy; she ended each visit saying, Thank
you, though I didnt know exactly for what. Maybe it was just for the moral
support I offered her when she lacked it from her mother.
She kept her promise to persevere and earned a B.A. in business. Her twoyear-old son attended the commencement ceremony with his grandma. And I
congratulated her, wishing her all the best and happiness in the world. She
deserved it. She earned my respect and her special place in my heart.
Life took an unexpected turn, and she accidentally brought this tiny life
into the world. However, she stood triumphant in carrying out her parental and
learner responsibilities without fooling around. Maybe the untimely
pregnancy was a mistake, but this baby could never be a mistake. This new
life has his own place in this world, with his own chance of becoming and
being.
The lesson here is we are conditioned to be a person depending on a
culture, society and family we are born and raised in. However, the biggest
question we need to ask ourselves is Do I want to be the person Im
conditioned to be? Every day is a new day. Who knows what that day is
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going to bring and teach us in the process? We never stop growing in the
sense of being and becoming.
After reading the column one of my colleagues e-mailed:
Sent: Monday, August 10, 2009 10:28 AM
Subject: Great Article
Dear Mrs. Hiremath,
Hope you are doing well and having a great summer! I just read your article in the T & D and
wanted to let you know that I think it is an excellent piece. It really speaks to the humanistic
drive to go beyond cultural and environmental conditioning and achieve our highest potential
as people. I think it is an inspirational piece, and also sheds light on cross-cultural, crossgenerational rearing and how these color our ways of living, but never make us blind to the
realities of today.
Anyway, just wanted to drop you a note and look forward to seeing you when school starts!
Anisah Bagasra Instructor of Psychology
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In the blink of an eye

Thursday, August 13, 2009
One of the most difficult things about parenting is letting the children go.
Parents burn candles on both ends to create a safe haven and try to keep their
children levelheaded. They feel proud and fortunate enough for raising decent
kids. Still there are no guarantees whats in store for everyone when the
children leave home.
Now, with a new academic year to start, children are getting ready to leave the
comforts of home and escape watchful eyes of their parents. Parents have no
choice but advise them about dos and donts and moral priorities and send
them to the local schools or away for higher education.
Parents, if your children are leaving home for campus life, advise them
against drinking. Parents should keep reminding their teenagers about the
dangers and consequences of drunk driving, texting or talking on the cell
phone while driving. Children should be aware of the facts that on average, a
drunken driver kills someone every 40 minutes in the United States. Thats 36
deaths daily and more than 13,000 annually. The highway deaths are so
frequent that they can go unnoticed, until one hits close to home. When it
comes to life or death situations, make sure they know staying alive, even
without joining their peers is a lot better than being dead.
However sad alcohol related stories are, they recur. It only takes a split
second, one bleak moment to turn many lives upside-down with one incident.
Here is a cautionary tragic tale of love and loss, and of overwhelming regret
and remorse. Jessica Rasdall and Laura Gorman, two 18-year-old college
freshmen, were inseparable since kindergarten. They loved to go out, dance
and have fun. They even began working at the same restaurant, local Hooters.
On the night of Feb. 26, 2006, after working their usual shift, they decided
to go out dancing. They hit the dance floor at the bar where women 18 or
older got in for free, while men had to be at least 21 and pay to enter. They
were served alcohol.
At 3 a.m., the two women finally left the club. With Rasdall at the wheel,
the best friends began the 40-minute drive home. And then, 1 mile from
Lauras dorm, the car drove off Interstate 275 and down a hill, crashing into a
broad tree. Reportedly, Gorman, buckled up in the passenger seat, had died of
blunt force trauma to her head, and a large gash crossed the side of Rasdalls
head and her left ear was hanging off. When paramedics arrived, rescuers used
the Jaws of Life to free her and rushed her to the hospital. It took 400 stitches
to put Rasdalls head back together. Law enforcement tests showed her blood
alcohol content was nearly 1-1/2 times the legal limit.
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Now, twenty-two-year-old Rasdall tells a crowd of high school students

packed into a football stadium in Tampa, Fla., My name is Jessica Rasdall,
and on Feb. 25, 2006, I killed my best friend. Laura Ann Gorman died in the
passenger seat of my car In the last three years, Rasdall has confessed her
crime to more than 15,000 people, both young and old, and described the
minute details of that tragic night. At the end, she plays a slide show tribute to
her dead friend, set to the song Second Chances by Michelle Branch.
The hard reality is that she must wake up each morning to remind herself that
her best friend is gone, and she is to blame. What a lasting tragedy for all the
loved ones that are involved.
The deaths caused by drinking do not make sense. What a waste of
precious life! And what a torturous pain parents have to endure! Burying
ones own child is the hardest thing any parent has to do. Hug them tight and
advise before you say good-bye. Ask them not to test poison to see if it kills
and keep your fingers crossed in hopes they make wise choices.
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A little complaining is good

Tuesday, October 13, 2009
We all have read and advised about the importance of positive thinking.
However, my experience tells me that when it comes to working with students
and trying to advance their academic success and retention, one size doesnt
fit all. Each one is as different as his or her DNA, equipped with his or her
own attitude when it comes to getting things done.
Teachers wear many different hats. In addition to teaching, they are
advisers, counselors, mentors. While performing in each position, they keep in
mind that the higher they expect academically from their students; the better
their students learn and perform. The common denominator they use to boost
their students self-esteem is to encourage them and tell them that they can do
everything they aim at if they focus on and prepare to work hard and
persevere.
A commonly used strategy to encourage students is to lead them to think
positively. As far as life is concerned, everyone is not always going to get
what he or she wants. Everything may not be as pleasant as expected;
however, one must strive to progress with a positive attitude, without
complaining, to get the required task done.
You know there are those who believe strongly in the value of positive
thinking and see nothing to be gained from that which is negative. But I
respectfully disagree. Complaining is human nature. If someone tells me to
stop complaining, it would make me feel rather deprived.
By the by, no complaints reminds me of the segment that was broadcast
on the TV a while ago. The pastor of a Kansas City church asked his
congregation to take a pledge of not complaining, criticizing, gossiping or
using sarcasm for 21 days. People who joined in were issued little purple
bracelets as a reminder of their pledge. If they caught themselves
complaining, they were supposed to take off the bracelet, switch it to the
opposite wrist and start counting the days from scratch. Bowen admitted that
it took him three-and-a-half months to put together 21 complaint-free days,
and that it has taken others up to seven months. In a nutshell, everyone
complains.
Encouraging our students may be the common denominator; however, I
believe teachers may have to apply various strategies to encourage each
student. There is no such thing as one size fits all.
It was Tuesday. Ms. Ashley Capers walked into the Writing Center about
8:35 a.m. and while signing in, she sighed. As I looked at her, she didnt look
very happy, so I asked her if she was OK. She mumbled, Yeah! I had 8 o
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clock class this morning and we are released already, she responded. I had
to get up early for no reason.
What a whiner! I thought.
However, the very next day, when Ms. Capers walked in, instead of a
smile, she frowned at me. As I asked her the reason, Since you saw me
yesterday, I havent slept at all, she responded. After her classes for the day
were over, she had to go to work and after she returned from work, she had to
work on her homework to get ready for the next days 8 and 10 o clock
classes.
Being concerned how efficiently she could work on her assignment
without sleep and with all that anxiety and tiredness, I asked her to try hard to
get a few hours of sleep before or after work so that she would be able to
study alertly. Im trying my best, she responded.
Thus, I could understand the reason behind her previous days whining.
And again, I noticed each time she complained she cringed. Understanding
her situation a little better, I told her that she could complain all she wanted to
me so that free of burden she would do her work more efficiently. Since then,
as soon as she enters the Writing Center, no matter what, Ashley has a
genuine smile for me. Since that positive only yoke was removed, she told
me, For the most part, Mrs. Hiremath, I am a very positive person. I try hard
to keep my head up and not take any wooden nickels. However, complaining
keeps me sane to a certain extent. I know that complaining keeps me abreast
of what I have on my To Do List. LOL
Ms. Ashley Capers, a senior professional English major at Claflin,
commutes from Bowman every morning. Although the trip is only 25
minutes, trying to avoid the buses en route to the elementary and high schools
is tricky and can cause a 45-minute drive, she pleads. Carrying 18 semester
hours, working two jobs, and completing an internship are really wearing me
out! Nevertheless, I keep my head leveled and focused reminding myself,
This too shall pass. It may be long, but it is not as long as it has been,
Ashley defends.
The one thing we can agree on is theres too much complaining. Some
gripe mainly about trivial things, such as the weather, a news item watched on
the TV, heard on the radio or read in the newspaper, if a computer didnt
function as efficiently as expected, or printer or copier printed somebody
elses document, using their paper when the printing paper is scarce. Its not
easy to end the day without relapses. However, as long as the complaining is
used as a recreational source, I dont consider it harmful. If one wants to use
complaining as an outlet to what is bothering him or her and be free to start
working productively, a little complaining does a lot of good.
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Empty nest
As young people soar off into their new adventures, many parents are left
with the phrase empty nest and all the anxiety that comes with it. Parents
derive considerable satisfaction from their children. They invest almost two
decades of their lives to raise each child until this transition period arrives.
Now the children are at a point in their lives when they no longer need their
parents as much as or in the same ways they used to. The childrens departure
leaves parents, especially mothers who stay home with the children, with
empty feelings. Mothers provide the primary care to children; when they
realize that their most important role that of nurturing and raising children
is over, a feeling of panic and inadequacy grips them. They question the
purpose of their human existence and wonder what is left there to do, now that
the kids are gone? Some mothers stop living their lives, constantly cry,
preserve their childs room like a living shrine and celebrate when their child
comes home to visit like a holiday.
I remember how stunned I was to watch a segment on Dr. Phil a couple of
years ago around this time of a year. The mother was saying, My daughter
is leaving for college, and Im worried sick. I dont think she is ready to be
alone. She was even considering moving to the town where she would be in
school. The mother explained, Im scared she is going to get raped or
kidnapped.
What a blow to that childs self-esteem! I found it a little too extreme on
the mothers part. And then again, the mother admitted that her worry was
because her daughter was the youngest, her heart was breaking.
I dont know how Im going to cope without having her in my home. Im
very upset when I think about how empty this house is going to be. I think
the loneliness will take me over, she said.
A child leaving home is a process of his or her growing up. No one can
escape from it. The parent-child separation doesnt have to be a negative
experience. Parents need to focus on how to help their children and make the
best of the transition. Its not abandoning the children, but about allowing
them to develop naturally in a way that they need to. They need to have a
stable base from which to grow and change themselves. The key to making a
smooth transition, especially to college life, is for parents and their kids to
discuss their expectations for each other, especially over issues like money
and communication.
We, as parents, are there to support them and be available when they need
our advice or help; pray for their happiness and wish them all the best in the
world. Let them know that we love them and miss them. Keeping in mind that
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children also lead full lives, parents should let the children know that it would
make them happy if they call, e-mail and visit them as often as they can.
Our children have their own dreams and ambitions. They have to learn to
make it on their own in this life. Life must go on. They are spreading their
wings to broaden their world and seeking opportunities to enrich their lives.
We have done our job well of preparing them for life as independent adults.
So, we should be proud of ourselves!
Therefore, parents now, it is your time to set out to venture on your own
interests. Your children will always be a rich part of your life. You need to
learn positively how to fill the void that theyve left. You need to get busy so
you have something to look forward to when they pull out of the driveway.
Parents too must learn to enjoy their hard-earned, newfound freedom. Take up
an old hobby. Dust that bulky book that has been pushed back on the
bookshelf and start reading it. Participate in a sport that you both will enjoy
talking about it. Go back to school and register for the classes you are
interested in. Volunteer at a teenage shelter or a center for single mothers and
offer comfort, or get a part-time job. Take time to travel.
Lets wish our children and ourselves happy, fruitful sailing.
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Forgiveness
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Forgiveness is defined in Websters Dictionary as an act of pardoning, an

act of ceasing to blame or hold resentment. Forgiveness as a character trait
does not come easy for most of us. When we have been hurt emotionally or
physically, our natural instinct is to recoil in self-protection, play victim.
Often we look for vengeance to hurt the person or group that has hurt us. We,
being ordinary humans, dont naturally overflow with mercy, grace and
forgiveness when we have been wronged.
God gives and forgives, and mankind gets, forgets and often does not
forgive. This differentiates the divine from man. Scriptures are filled with
plethora of examples to exhibit this character trait. In Western cultures, one
familiar example is Jesus plea to his Heavenly Father. Even when he was
whipped, mocked and scourged in an inhumane manner, he asked, Father,
forgive them; for they know not what they do.
Forgiveness is the character trait for the month of November in the
Orangeburg County Community of Character campaign. How appropriate is
the timing to upheld and reflect on this virtue, since Thanksgiving falls in this
month.
Our nation was reminded about forgiveness as citizens bowed their heads
to pray and said goodbye to Americas 38th president, Gerald Ford, who had
forgiven Richard Nixon for any Watergate crimes he might have committed.
The country was divided at that time, and granting the pardon was political
suicide. Ford lost the 1976 election. When the president was asked then if he
would face schism for his action, Ford said that he didnt think, They (the
citizens) should be divisive, for anyone who lived by the great commandments
and the great commission to love God and to love neighbor.
Ford stood uniquely by this virtue, forgiveness, and exemplified his
strength in doing what was the right thing to do to bring the nation together,
with no heed for the consequences, his probable political suicide. Confucius
said, Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices will have.
Later, when President Ford died, the nation mourned. His generous act of
forgiveness was praised. Eulogizing at the state funeral in the National
Cathedral, NBC broadcaster Tom Brokaw said, Ford brought to office no
demons, no hidden agenda, no hit list or acts of vengeance. Brokaw ended
his eulogy with these words: Farewell, Mr. President. Thank you, Citizen
Ford. What a compliment!
Alexander Pope wrote:
Of all afflictions taught a lover yet
Its sure the hardest science to forget.
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I recall someone telling me about an acquaintance who had innocently

offended her husband. Later her husband told her that he forgave her.
However, every chance he got, he reminded her of the offense.
The lady had it enough; she felt like smashing his head with a frying pan and
leaving him alone in his misery. Instead, she just said goodbye to him for
good. Forgiving and not letting it go will reduce the pain and the fear, but will
not eliminate. The key to mercy and the genuine forgiveness is not ever to
remind one once its forgiven.
The wrongful assumption is that forgiveness is beneficial to the person
who is forgiven. However, its the freedom of a clear conscience for the
person who forgives. That is the real reward. The act of forgiveness might feel
like a sacrifice to the betrayed and like a free pass to the guilty. However, pain
and fear find their roots in not forgiving. Forgiveness works like psychotherapy to set a prisoner free. As one forgives the betrayer, the overwhelming
feelings of hurt, anger, and vengeance disappear. An individuals heart is
freed of animosity and becomes full with joy and love.
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Growth is evidence of life

Another success story
Friday, November 20, 2009
As we welcome the class of 2013 and start the new academic year, I cant
help but miss dearly a few of the 2009 graduates who just said goodbye.
Especially, some students have a knack of seeking, even at times demanding,
special attention from their professors, advisers, mentors. With their own
special ways, whims, attitudes, demeanor or even, at times, by annoyance,
they end up occupying a special place in their targeted audiences hearts.
Ms. Vanessa Thomas was one among them. However, unlike many others
who try to get my attention, she grabbed my attention inadvertently. During
all these years, whenever she needed my help, she asked straightforwardly,
and as soon as she received it, she thanked me and proceeded on with her
work. Her no-nonsense attitude, dash in, say Hi, while signing-in, and then
occupy any available computer and stay for hours, if required to complete her
assignments, and then dash out after a quick sign-out and a goodbye. Not
rude but her stubborn attitude towards getting her work done to her
satisfaction made me pay a little more attention towards her.
Vanessa was accepted by two other elite universities; however, she
thought Claflin would be the place she could fit in the best. Claflins familylike atmosphere, caring, nurturing intimacy among students, faculty, and staff
helped her choose Claflin. Because of the compact nature of the university,
the professors are able to get to know their students background, strengths or
weaknesses in their work, and their lifes dreams to help nurture them. She
was sure that professors at Claflin would be able to foster her personal as well
as professional growth.
I felt honored to receive an invitation to be a member of the Alice Carson
Tisdale Honors College; however, I wouldnt have been able to fulfill the
rigid obligations. At that time, I was working on two jobs to independently
provide for myself. Besides, she defended, my tuition is paid through Life
Scholarship, S.C. Tuition Grant, and Pell Grant, for keeping my grades up.
Vanessa grew up in a family with her grandmother, Lauretta, a retired
teacher, and grandfather, Alva ONeal, a military veteran. Mr. and Mrs.
ONeal raised three children, two not their own, solely on savings and
retirement, though her grandfather passed away when Vanessa was a junior in
high school. They tried to teach her the values, ethics, and beliefs on which
the meaning of life is based, but Vanessa was eager to spread her wings and
venture out on her own, when she left home for college. Vanessa said, I ran
into a phase where I made very bad decisions that have caused me to struggle
a great deal. When I moved off campus at the end of my sophomore year, I
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had gained tremendous responsibilities I didnt know how to handle. She

admits that at this point, she had forgotten everything her grandparents taught
her about being an adult. She ran into constant financial situations as she tried
to keep up with her peers who did not have the same responsibilities as she.
During this period, she made numerous calls to her grandma to bail her out
financially. And every time before grandma wrote her a check, Vanessa had to
sit and endure her long lectures. After a while, I grew tired of hearing
grandma sing the same old song, and I began to straighten up my life. And
finally, I got to the place financially where I needed to be, said Vanessa.
Reflecting on grandmas lectures helped Vanessa understand that people were
only with her when it was convenient for them. Her grandmas most important
lecture of all was when it came to paying bills, there is no excuse. As she
proudly stands today, an unwavering, confident, independent woman, she
credits her success to her grandparents. My struggles and my experiences
have helped to mold me into the person I am today. Even though I didnt have
much help along the way, I understand that it is not others duty to take care
of me, but my duty to take care of myself. And understanding this makes me
humble, not bitter, says Vanessa. Reiterating, My struggles didnt come
from childhood misfortunes, but were derived from many of my bad decisions
as an adult, Vanessa insists, Nonetheless, I will not let people run over me,
deceive me, or take advantage of me, because thats not the person I am or the
person I want to be.
A May 2009 graduate, Vanessa Thomas, English major and Criminal
Justice minor, currently works in Beaufort as the Housing Coordinator and
Case Manger for Citizens Opposed to Domestic Violence. She works with
women of different ages and ethnicities who have been abused physically,
emotionally, verbally, or sexually. I love what I do, and I get paid very well.
I thought coming home would be the best place for me to work and save
money until I go to law school in the fall of 2010 and make my grandma
proud of me, said Vanessa. She wants to specialize in contracts law, criminal
law, family law, civil rights and criminal litigation. Eventually, she aspires to
be small claims court judge and dreams of being the future Judge Joe Brown,
Judge Mathis, or Judge Judy.
Vanessas advice to incoming freshmen is, However hard it is, focus on
doing your work and studying for classes, even if the people around you are
always going out, having fun, and partying. Remember, those are the ones
repeating their class or dropping out of school. There is always going to be a
party, but there is not always going to be a chance to turn in late work after
you have slacked off. So make sure that youve finished your school work as
per your professors expectations before you go out partying.
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The reason I chose to profile Ms. Thomas is that she is an example of

authentic life, she stands to inspire the in-coming generation. The message
here is focus on your goal, choose your friends wisely, and learn from
Vanessas experience so that youll be able avoid a whole lot of heartache,
yours and your guardians. Devoid of a chance of being a product of parental
indulgence, the circumstance she was placed in gave her the incentive to
study, work hard and persevere. She positively loved her guardians and
trusted that her professors and administrators would meet her expectations to
prepare her to be a role model, a one among them who will lead future
generations to be some of the nations best.
We wish Ms. Vanessa Thomas all the best in her future endeavors.
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Conscience, a soft pillow

Monday, December 28, 2009
I was saddened and rather shocked to watch the news about thousands of
individuals claiming the first-time home buyers $8,000 tax credit who may
have been trying to scam the system.
Reportedly, more than 19,300 tax returns for 2008 had taxpayers claiming
the credit for a home which had not yet been purchased. Nearly 74,000
claims for the credit, totaling more than $500 million, were submitted by
taxpayers who may have previously owned homes. More than 580 taxpayers
that claimed almost $4 million in credits were younger than 18 years old;
some were as young as 4. In addition, an unspecified number of IRS
employees and more than 3,000 taxpayers who could not prove they were in
the country legally have wrongly applied for the credit.
Wall Street, banks, employment and the housing market hit trouble in
2008. Every resource appeared quite depressing. To help strengthen the
nations dismal economy, to stabilize the housing market, which was
plummeting rapidly with almost no sales activity and flooding with too many
foreclosures, Congress passed a $7,500 tax credit for first-time homebuyers as
a no-interest, long-term loan to stimulate the housing market. The credit was
expanded under the economic recovery act passed in February to $8,000 as a
fully refundable credit.
The details are serious. The Internal Revenue Service has opened 160
criminal investigations, has halted more than 110,000 refunds pending further
examination and is stepping up audits of questionable claims being filed by
those who are underage or had previously owned homes. A tax preparer was
sentenced to federal prison for filing fraudulent returns the first in
connection with housing tax credit fraud.
Learning about this disturbing news, one may naturally question the
conscience of these people. I believe that most of these are law-abiding
people. Maybe some are hit hard by the disastrous economy. Though the
situations are seemingly brightening up a little, taxpayers net worth has
shrunk to abysmal levels. The savings of many years in thousands of families
have disappeared. More importantly, a host of unemployed citizens face the
grim problems of existence.
Without knowing what might have made one act this way, others talking
about conscience may sound like self-righteous babble. Edward Young
defines conscience as The soft whispers of the God in man; perhaps a good
number of these people might have been plunged too deeply in their own
agony to hear the whisper. Maybe most of these people are desperately
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seeking help to make ends meet. It seems like they were preparing to get by
just now and face the consequences later.
Albert Einsteins advice, Never do anything against conscience even if the
state demands it, should not be taken with a pinch of salt. We are repeatedly
told that bad conscience has a very good memory. There is no pillow so soft
as a clear conscience, alerts a French proverb.
Even if one tries hard to neglect the haunting of conscience, he or she will
have to pay a heavy price for breaking the law. It is clear that they have
disrespected the rules and regulations of the IRS. Therefore, they have
genuine reason to fear. Most of them are going to be caught, prosecuted and
punished heavily for their fraudulent behavior. I am just afraid that when they
realize that their imprudent behavior was not worth the punishment, it might
be too late for them to repent.
This fear itself should be enough to keep one from committing these kinds
of scam.
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Money, a root of all evils?

I was deeply saddened to watch on ABCs 20/20 the segment, The Battle
of the Blue Bloods, a fight to the finish over the fortune of the late millionaire
socialite and philanthropist Brooke Astor, who died in 2007 at the age of 105.
A lifetime of family tension played out in tabloid headlines, exposing the
complicated relationship among Brooke Astor, her son Anthony Marshall, 86,
and his third wife Charlene, the former wife of a local minister, who was cast
as the villain in her husband's five-month trial.
Brooke Astor's 56 years old grandson Philip Marshall, Anthony Marshalls
son from his first marriage, filed in 2006 to take over guardianship of his
grandmother, stating she was neglected and abused by her son. He was the
star among 72 witnesses. The prosecution claimed that Marshall had taken
some of Astor's valuable artwork, among other things, and tricked her into
changing her will, steering millions to Charlene and to him instead of to
charity. Anthony Marshall was convicted of fraud, conspiracy and grand
larceny for looting his mother's approximately $200 million fortune, as she lay
stricken with Alzheimer's disease. Anthony Marshall was sentenced to a
minimum of one year and a maximum of three years by New York State
Supreme Court Judge A. Kirke Bartley on Dec. 21.
I recalled Bernie Madoff, who is spending his remaining life in a cell
reflecting on all the lives he ruined. Anthony and Bernie exemplify what the
wise men have told us repeatedly: There is enough in this world for
everybodys need, though not enough for one persons greed. I wondered if,
indeed, money is the root of all evil. These men had millions of dollars to
live comfortably; and yet, they chose fraud. Ironically, both these insatiable
fellows were turned in by their sons. I wondered if it was their age that made
them insecure and greedy and if money is such a corrupting force.
In contrast, Bill Gates Sr., 83, father of the Microsoft founder William
Henry Gates III, labors daily in giving away one the worlds biggest fortunes
made by his son. He is a child of the Great Depression, a veteran who went to
college on the G.I. Bill, and grew up with the fear of being poor. Gates Sr.s
book, Showing Up for Life, is a lesson to all those hedge-fund managers
now filing for bankruptcy or otherwise wondering why their lives are so
empty. In the meanwhile, his son is wisely planning to make this world a little
better for the poor and disadvantaged by investing his riches with good
causes. And the second richest man in the world, Warren Edward Buffett has
joined the worlds richest to collaborate on this issue. They have decided to
put their wealth to use in their lifetime to make a positive difference.
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By helping immunize and save millions of children, the Gates Foundation

has been a shot in the arm for global public health. "Within our lifetime, I
would expect all these top 20 diseases, we would have vaccines and medicines
to eliminate the disease burden of those," said Bill Gates at the news
conference where he accepted Warren Buffett's pledge to donate billions
annually to the foundation. The Gateses will expand their horizons, but the
causes they support and those of Warren Buffett are very closely interrelated.
The environment, global health, education, civic institutions, and market
institutions are all becoming increasingly inseparable.
The Gates and Buffett come from middle class families, having worked
hard to realize their dreams and living a simple life in many respects. (Their
favorite drink is still Coca-Cola. And Warren Buffett still lives in the same
ordinary house he bought 40 years ago. Though the Gates reside in a very
modern house, entirely equipped with advanced electronic systems and built
in the "Pacific lodge" style, which has received a lot of publicity and TV
exposure, his casual wear, slacks, a polo shirt and pastel colors, is quite
noticeable.) And both, Bill Gates, 54, and Warren Buffett, 79, have no
interest in giving away their respected positions at their corporations. They are
constantly looking for investments that will reap rewards for many years into
the future so that they can give away more. The recent news about Buffetts
Berkshire Hathaway buying Burlington Northern in deal a valuing the railroad
at $34B is one of the examples of Buffetts savvy investments. Burlington
Northern, the nation's second-largest railroad, is the biggest hauler of food
products like corn, and coal for electricity, making it an indicator of the
country's economic health. The railroad also ships a large amount of consumer
goods -- including items imported from Asia -- from big Western ports like
Los Angeles and Seattle. Analysts say savvy investor Buffett is planting both
feet in an industry that is poised to grow as the economy gets back on solid
ground. It would be the biggest acquisition ever for Berkshire Hathaway Inc.
and more resources for his philanthropy.
Warren Buffetts three children Susan (Susie), 52, Howard, 51, and Peter,
48, are following in their fathers footsteps. All have set up their own
foundations that have millions in assets and making a difference in the nation
and around the world by investing it philanthropically.
Another well-known example can be of NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg,
who resides at his own home, not at the official mayors Gracie Mansion. He
maintains his home address in the white pages and is known to ride the
subway to City Hall every morning, even during the periods of heightened
terrorist alert. According to the Chronicle of Philanthropy, Mr. Bloomberg
donated and or pledged $138 million in 2004, $144 million in 2005, and $165
million in 2006. His 2006 recipients include campaign for Tobacco Free Kids,
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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; Johns Hopkins Bloomberg

School for Public Health; World Lung Foundation and the World Health
Organization. According to The New York Times, Mr. Bloomberg has been
an anonymous donor to the Carnegie Corporation each year for the last
several years with gifts ranging from $5-$20 million.
Then there was Patsy Bullitt Collins, a Seattle heiress of a broadcasting
empire, who died of lung cancer a few years ago, lived alone in a onebedroom apartment, quietly giving away more that $100 million in charity.
Even Mother Teresa was happy to win the Noble Prize, $1.4 million. She used
the money to build a leprosarium.
Money is never the barometer of ones success or worth. Money is just a
medium of exchange; how its made and what it is exchanged for is the root
cause of evil or good. Each one wants to succeed in making more resources.
Money can do a whole lot of good when its made justly and used for a good
cause. The wealthy mans worth is defined by his objective. There are plenty
of people in this world who are feeling good by doing good.
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Lessons from Noahs Ark

Saturday, January 23, 2010
Every new academic year is a stepping stone toward the next phase of
progress in your life. You have chosen to become educated at a higher level.
You have an opportunity to prepare and educate yourself at Claflin University
with an Excellence by Design education. Youre expected to make the best
of it. Your commitment to working hard is anticipated. As the proverb says,
Hats off to the past; coats off to the future; cherishing your past
accomplishments, you must prepare to move forward to add more feathers to
your hat.
Enrich your life by incorporating the lessons learned from Noahs Ark.
Life is truly what you make of it. Here are the lessons you should learn from
Noahs Ark: 1. Dont miss the boat. 2. Remember that we all are in the same
boat. 3. Plan ahead. 4. Stay fit; when you are 600 years old, someone may
ask you to do something really big. 5. Dont listen to critics. 6. Build your
future on high ground. 7. For safetys sake, travel in pairs. 8. Speed isnt
always an advantage. The snails were on board with cheetahs. 9. When you
are stressed, float a while. 10. Remember the Ark was built by amateurs, the
Titanic by professionals. 11. No matter the storm, when you are with God,
there is always a rainbow waiting.
On your journey, you may encounter many opportunities. Dont miss the
boat when opportunity knocks on your door. And, at times, you may even
have to go seeking it. The road may get rugged and storms may pop up, but
remember that you are not alone. All are placed in the same circumstances.
How well you perform depends on your commitment, perseverance, and
determination to succeed.
Plan ahead. It was not raining when Noah built the Ark. Finish your class
assignments ahead of time so that you will have enough time to edit and
proofread your work. Working on your assignment without being pressured
by a shortage of time lets you work without panic, and allows you to use your
creative ability. This habit of finishing your assignments ahead of time will
make you realize that your assignments get better every time you revise them.
Start working on your assignment long before its due. Avoid procrastination.
Learn to manage your time wisely.
Stay fit. When you are exhausted and ready to call it a day, something else
might pop up that might need your immediate attention. To be successful, you
are going to need a sound mind. A sound mind resides only in a healthy body.
Nutritious food, a good nights sleep, and regular exercise are the basic
components of good health. You can accomplish your goals only if you are
healthy. Your happiness depends on it. Avoid procrastination. Staying updated
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in your academics and knowing that you are in good shape are helpful in
boosting your self-confidence.
Dont listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done. At
times you may experience the world as cold and cynical. Life may shovel dirt
on you, but learn to shake it off and use that dirt to climb high. Know who
your real friends and well-wishers are. You will never have control of your
circumstance, but you always will have control of choices.
Build your future on high ground. Avoid complications. Choosing your
friends wisely determines how successful you are going to be academically. If
your friends are healthy, happy, hardworking and conscientious, you probably
will be as well. If your peers have poor study habits or call you nerd, dont
support them; dont heed them. A good and studious school/college friend can
be a source of strength, knowledge, and inspiration.
Be a team player. It will take you far and to your destined land. The ability
to get along is the key to success and ultimate happiness. As we are told, if
you want to walk far, walk with others; if you want to walk fast, walk alone.
Speed isnt always an advantage. As Colin Powell, former Secretary of
State, states, There are no secrets to success. It is a result of preparation,
hard work, and learning from failure. Your future is in your hands. Strive to
make it the best possible one. Build a strong work ethic and pace your work
strategically. Haste makes waste. Remember the Hare and Tortoise story.
Perseverance wins the race, not speed. When you feel burned out, take a
break and hang in there; float a while. Keep in mind you are obligated to work
hard, but you are not always guaranteed a positive outcome. When you come
to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on, advises Franklin D.
Roosevelt. Then approach it again with a positive and clear mind.
Expect professional engagements and challenges to be filled with elements
of surprise. Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic by
professionals. Have confidence in your ability. Make quiet time to reflect and
work on building healthy self-esteem.
Glen R. Schiraldi defines self-esteem as a realistic appreciative opinion of
self that is built upon an accurate sense of worth, unconditional love and
acceptance, and constructive growth. Building healthy self-esteem benefits
one who is functioning well and wants to enhance his or her quality of life.
Self-esteem breaks a negative self-concept, dissolves internal barriers to
success in work, and conquers fear.
The difference between low self-esteem and high self-esteem is the
difference between failure and success.
Have faith in the Lord Almighty! Your commitment to work hard and
persevere in achieving your goal may come to fruition only through His
blessing. Everything becomes attainable when we believe in the Super Power.
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Strive for perfection, but know that nothing is perfect. Perfection is a

subjective concept. In the end be content with the results, if you have done
your best. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there is always a
rainbow waiting. Now, isnt that promising? You need to stretch your mind to
reach and grow beyond your limits in order to face challenges. When
something is asked or demanded of you, reach into your own reservoir of
capacity; excel and prepare to meet expected demands.
By the grace of Almighty God and your hard work may you earn your
wings to fly to your hearts desire to catch your dreams to bring them to
reality.
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Blessing in disguise?
As I stood, along with the other customers, in a line at the post office
waiting for my turn, the television was playing images of frightened
earthquake survivors running onto the capitals street and others fleeing to the
countryside after a frightening new 5.9 magnitude aftershock January 20.
Heart-wrenching graphic images of destruction and human suffering caused
by the 7.0 magnitude earthquake that rocked Port-au-Prince for 30 seconds on
Jan. 12 continued to play. As we watched, among the scenes of death and
destruction, a woman, surrounded by distraught victimized crowd, was
wailing uncontrollably. One of the customers said, I wish I could understand
what she is saying.
Understanding human suffering doesnt need much knowledge, especially
when its depicted through vivid images. Images are more powerful than
thousands of words. Laughter and cries, smiles and tears are a common
language of humanity; they tell us more truthful stories than any language can
illustrate.
The people of Haiti had little to start with. The images of a scrawny
woman drying mud cookies in the sun, collecting mud cookies and balancing
a bucket of recently dried mud cookies on her head as she climbed down the
ladder from the roof have been flashed for years on the Internet again and
again. Many knew that Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere
and one of the most disadvantaged in the world. Rising prices and food
shortages for Haitis poorest have made even a daily plate of rice scarce and
unaffordable, so some have to take desperate measures to ward off hunger
pangs. Extreme poverty has forced Haitis poorest people to eat dirt, mud
cookies. Seventy-six percent of the Haitian population lives on less than $2.25
a day; many live less than $1.13 a day.
Defeating Napoleons troops in 1804, the enslaved Haitians liberated
themselves. However, Southern ports in the United States and other countries
were reluctant to trade with them. They probably faced discrimination as a
country for a long time. The United States occupied it about 30 years in the
early 20th century. The world has helped the Haitians be poor. The
humanitarians attention toward the people of Haiti was long overdue.
However sad it is to see thousands of corpses being dragged by bulldozers for
mass burial, and wounded, hungry, thirsty survivors waiting for medical
attention, a bottle of water and a morsel of food, I wonder if the earthquake
was Mother Natures way of caring for the people of Haiti to bring together
the people around the world to help Haitians. Could it be a blessing in
disguise, though it took an epic size human catastrophe to awaken the world?
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Just a year ago, the United Nations started a project in Haiti. As a U.N.
news release announcing the establishment of the project points out, the
Clinton Global Initiatives 2008 call to action on Haiti had already generated
more than 20 projects valued at more than $130 million. Projects take their
own course and time to start making a difference. It is consoling that the
earthquake victims suffering has alerted the global community and has
grabbed humanitys attention and made it realize that the need is urgent.
As millions of survivors waiting for basics, Hope for Haiti is generating
revenue. Staying in the comforts of our own homes and counting our
blessings, the least we can do is to keep the people of Haiti in our prayers and
contribute monetarily as much as possible. Its always better to be a giver than
a receiver. And be content to watch on the news their smile and resilience, and
listen to the stories unfaltering of faith and hope.
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Old Man Winter

Thursday, March 4, 2010
Im sick of bitter cold. Im looking for warmer weather, is an often-heard

statement since the beginning of spring semester. Nowadays getting out of the
warm and cozy bed early in the morning has turned into quite an endeavor. As
a student walked in, she mumbled, That darn groundhog! Unzipping her
coat, she logged on and started working. Noticing her serious mood, I didnt
interrupt her thought process by responding.
That was Tuesday morning, Groundhog Day, February 2. The morning
news was that North Americas furry forecaster made a frosty prediction. The
groundhog saw its shadow. Presumably, Old Man Winter will not let up for
six more weeks.
From the Carolinas to Maine and west to Ohio, states have their own
stories of powerful winter storms bringing heavy snow, flooding rain and
damaging winds. Accidents, power outages, flight cancellations have been
frequent incidents to deal with for the Northeast. Remembering how we spent
almost a week surrounded by debris, without electricity, during the ice storm
of 2004, we should think sympathetically.
As my daughter in Maryland and son in New York listen to my complaints
about how cold it has been in Orangeburg, they dont bother to tell me about
the weather they are enduring, as if I dont watch it on the national news, and I
am not concerned for what they are going through. Coming home after school,
my grandchildren get busy helping their parents shovel snow day after day
from the sidewalk. It has been Deja vu all over again for them. My
granddaughters say, We are totally done with the snow; ready for spring,"
though my 5-year-old grandson, Devan, is up early in the morning on
weekends, all bundled up and ready to go out to play in snow. Poor daddy has
no choice but to accompany him.
My children know, throughout my entire transition from one country to
another, I have adapted to like, to tolerate, to change perceptions and to break
barriers; however, appreciating cold weather hasnt been one among them. I
have learned neither to like, nor to tolerate, freezing temperatures. I overdress
rather than shiver; it doesnt matter to me if I feel 50 pounds heavier than my
normal weight.
This harsh winter reminds me of the year I, along with our two children,
joined my husband in the United States. In mid-October, my husband
reminded us that soon we needed to go shopping for winter clothes. I said, I
dont think we need that. I brought enough sweaters. He just smiled. I was
born and raised in a part of the country where we could survive wearing
refined cotton or silk clothing and sandals throughout year and, if it got cold
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in winter, we could get by wearing sweaters. Thus, I failed to realize the

severity of winter in the United States, until I experienced it.
After a couple of weeks, when my husband insisted, we went shopping.
While at the store, I was asked to try a full-length thick, woolen coat. As soon
as I lifted it, I said, It weighs about 50 pounds. ... No way, Im going to wear
it. My husband simply responded, Oh, yes! You will.
I had quite good use of that coat. Wearing that coat and boots, I enjoyed
snowball fights, making a snowman, taking long walks in deep snow, which
felt like walking in sand. When all of nature was covered in a snow-coat, there
were no dark nights in winter. The bright moonlit nights seemed amazingly
beautiful, serene. I never had seen snow before. I was so overwhelmed by the
beauty of it that cold didnt bother me much.
Our porch became an occasional refuge for birds. The first time a couple of
birds flew in, my children, excited by the unprecedented guests, fed them rice
and soaked peas and beans. One night, my husband heard a light knock on the
sliding-glass door, walked to the den and peeked through the curtains. He
came back and told me that my children on the porch were hungry. I got up,
popped a bowl of popcorn and left it on the porch. The next day, my husband
made a quick trip to the grocery store for a bag of birdseeds.
Of course, I must mention that I enjoyed this seasons snowfall in
Orangeburg. It was a treat for me. However, I missed my first cozy winter
coat badly.
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Respect earned and deserved

Each time I reach a shopping centers entrance, I remember this little guy.
That day as I parked my car and started walking toward the shopping center, I
noticed, about 8 feet ahead of me, a mother and son going in the same
direction. As soon as they reached the entrance, the son ran to get the door.
The mom walked straight in. It took a moment for me to notice that he was
holding the door for me as well. As I saw him struggling to hold the heavy
door with both his hands and a foot, I rushed a little. When I reached the
entrance, I got hold of it and said, I got it. Thank you! You didnt have to.
Its too heavy for you.
But he insisted, No Maam! You first Respecting his courtesy and
thanking him again, I walked in. And then again, before coming in he made
sure that no one else was approaching to enter. As I walked into the store a
little farther from the entrance and saw the mother walking back toward her
son, curiously I slowed down. The mother firmly asked her son, Did you get
the door for the lady? When he responded, Yes, Maam, she smiled,
grabbed his hand and started walking. As they were passing by me, I again
thanked her son. Youre welcome, Maam, he responded.
At the shopping center, I ran into this mother a couple of other times, while
she was making her son go around to fetch items on her list from other
sections. The first time, I just smiled and said, Hi, again. However, the
second time when we ran into each other and exchanged smiles, I just couldnt
resist asking her if she werent a little too strict in teaching manners to her
son, especially since shopping center doors are so heavy for a child to hold.
Calmly but firmly, she responded, Ho! No, Maam. We, AfricanAmericans, are blamed enough for not teaching manners and disciplining our
children. I want to see he grows up into a respectful young man and a
productive community member. It is never too early for that kind of
discipline.
I was pleased with the mothers thoughtfulness and steadfastness, which
reminded me how strict I was with my children. Though, I thankfully count
my blessings every chance I get to see my children grown up into fine
citizens, when I saw this little guy struggling with all his strength to hold the
door open, I was overwhelmed. I was touched by this young mans
determination to demonstrate his mothers teaching, gain respect from others
and make his mother proud.
This young man is worthy of respect. He has earned it. And he deserves it.
As I learned that the Orangeburg County Community of Character trait for
February is respect, I felt obliged to write about this memorable incident. This
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boys behavior is worthy of recognition. And unswervingly, we should

encourage it.
Child-rearing is challenging. It requires commitment, time, patience and
sacrifice. A recent national study by a public policy research organization
based in New York concludes that kids and teenagers are ruder and wilder and
more irresponsible than ever before. In previous generations, children
remained close to their families longer they worked on the farm, in their
family business or in their neighborhoods. Adults and children far more
closely interacted then than today. One of the biggest structural changes in
this generation is the growth in single-parent households and families in
which both parents work outside the home. Children are more often left to
navigate much of their formative life on their own. As a result, many children
do not have the basic virtues of respect, helpfulness and honesty that we took
for granted. Kudos to this mom and her son! They certainly have earned my
respect by respecting me.
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Work and worship

I have been asked time-and-again if I am religious. And my answer always

has been Yes! I am. But again, I am more spiritual than religious. I like to
go to a temple to be in the congregation. The pious atmosphere, worship,
prayers and company of friends and families, every aspect is calming,
recreational and enriching. After worship, as we receive Prasad (share the
holy meal), we get to exchange our greetings and enquire each others
wellbeing, which is always fulfilling.
However, when conflict arises and I must choose between work and
worship, bowing my head in God Almightys grace with gratitude, I undertake
my work. I consider my work as self-discipline, my worship to God and
service to the community. After my days schoolwork is over, my research
and writing keep me occupied. I feel fortunate, encouraged and rewarded by
readers generous compliments and their occasional requests to write about
certain issues or topics, which prove that they read and care for my writings.
A moral lesson of one of the bedtime stories my father read to me was
Riding a camel, you do not tend sheep. You must get down and be with the
sheep in order to love and care for them, to guide them, so they wont get
lost. Then, about 5 years old, I remember asking, But Papa, I wont be
tending sheep or riding a camel; we have neither. This story is not for me. He
smiled and said, One day you will explain this subject matter to me.
And finally that day arrived. I delightfully simplified the parable and
thanked him for patiently waiting for my comprehension. He simply said,
Im very proud of you. And then he read me a poem, titled Leave This,
written by Ravinder Nath Tagore, In this poem the poet urges the worshiper to
leave this chanting and singing and telling of beads and emphasizes,
God is there where the tiller is tilling the hard ground
and where the pathmaker is breaking stones.
He is with them in sun and in shower,
and his garment is covered with dust.
He asks the devotee,
What harm is there if thy clothes become tattered and stained?
Meet him and stand by him in toil and in sweat of thy brow.
Thus, this bedtime story became my guiding principle, and I have honored
my father faithfully by ardently applying his teaching to my life.
However, here, I must clarify that my father was a very religious man; we
(our family) went to temple regularly, observed religious holy days with
fasting and rituals, especially Navaratri, Mahashivratri and Makar
Sankramana, traditionally. Using his Rudrakshi japa mala, a rosary made of
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special beads, he meditated at least an hour each night before going to bed.
Thus, I could understand the intention behind his story was merely to instill
the importance of keeping up with our duties in everyday life; and instructing
me that at times work itself is worship.
Moreover, a day in a practicing Hindus life revolves around prayers.
There is a prayer for every daylong activity, from getting up to going to bed
and in between. In addition, after taking a shower every morning, he/she lights
a lamp to worship, performs puja (maybe abbreviated one), and meditates in
evenings. Thus, going to temple is not the only option a devotee has;
nowadays, its a matter of convenience too. Life has gotten too demanding.
And then I read Dr. Martin Luther Kings speeches and writings, which
affirmed what my father had instilled in me. Dr. King wrote:
If you cant be a pine on the top of the hill, be a scrub in the valley
but be the best little scrub by the side of the hill It isnt by the size
that you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are Whatever your
lifes work Even if it does not fall in the category of one of the socalled big professions, do it well. A man should do his job so well that
the living, the dead and the unborn could do it no better.
Then in 1994, Dr. Henry N. Tisdale, the leal and loyal son of Claflin, a
1965 graduate, joined Claflin University as its eighth president. In his very
first address as president, he spoke about how Claflins guiding principles
illustrate the universitys value system. Each of us must accept responsibility
as a family member and do it right. And since then, time after time he has
reminded and implemented his ardent belief that each person, regardless of
his/her social rank or position, has a call from God. And we all must work
together cordially for the institutions advancement and for the greater good to
benefit our students. Dr. Tisdale has not made demands but has stood as a role
model to instill discipline in his administration. His guiding principle is do as
I exemplify, not as I tell you, which easily earns the others loyalty and
respect.
Dr. Tisdale has cultivated a culture of character at Claflin University,
which has reaffirmed the values and principles that were instilled in my
childhood and has helped me to take my duties seriously and perform them
conscientiously. My punctuality is noticed and appreciated. And at times, I
have even been asked, though sarcastically, if Im required to clock-in and
clock-out or hired on hourly basis. However, my fear is if I start slacking, I
may get used to it and eventually it may turn into a habit. This fear reminds
me of my mothers saying, Old habits die hard, so nip slacking in the bud
before it turns into a habit.
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Something about memorials

Monday, May 31, 2010
When one of my friends asked me what I remembered the most about my

recent trip to New York, I took a moment to reflect. Though there were plenty
of fun-filled joyous occasions with family and friends, I realized a streak of
sadness lingered in the back of my mind.
This day, before heading toward Battery Park to catch a ferry to Liberty
Park to visit Lady Liberty, we stopped at the site where the two World Trade
Center monumental towers once proudly stood. Looking at that empty space
and recalling the images of a plane crash into Tower 2 of the World Trade
Center, people jumping through the windows of the top floors, fire, fumes,
smoke, and on the ground people running around in confusion and desperation
that were watched on September 11, 2001's morning TV broadcast, I was
overwhelmed with sad, empty feelings; however, what made me sadder was
after spending huge amount of revenue even after a decade later there was no
monument to view, to bow my head in respect to the innocent civilian lives
that were lost that day.
Then, as we walked a few feet away across the street from Ground Zero to
enter the very first floor of corporate headquarters of American Express, I was
mesmerized by the view. The elaborately faceted crystal quartz pendant
suspended from a height of 35 feet, hovering just above 11-sided black granite
reflecting pool, 11 silver strands of light, 11 facets of a gleaming heart, 11
tears forever falling in a tranquil pool where the names of the 11 AMEX
employees are inscribed made me utter the only word, "Wow!" Then as I
walked around in the facility that was adorned with the 11 employees' photos,
the faces of innocent victims, citations of their bios and their services rendered
at American Express, I only could bow my head and add my tears.
A memorial Environment, designed by New York architect Ken Smith,
was installed on August 25, 2003. This 11-sided granite memorial stands to
commemorate the lives of 11 American Express employees who were lost on
Sept. 11. It highlights an elaborately faceted 600-pound (original weight
nearly 1,100 pounds) crystal sculpture created by gem artist Lawrence Stoller.
The rock crystal quartz pendant is suspended from the second floor ceiling
from which water droplets, representing tears, drip. These 11 employees, who
were on the way to their work, only just a few feet away from the building
they worked in, lost their lives on this fatal day in the terrorist attacks.
Fortunately, across the street from Ground Zero, the corporate headquarters of
American Express stood intact.
There is something special about memorials. They provide homeopathic
healing to me. I was fascinated by an employer's sentiment behind creating
such a beautiful memorial. However, there is something much more mystical
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about crystal, light, water, hearts and eternal tear drops that will never lose
their grace. The silent message that we're all connected in life and death and
the lost lives will never be forgotten made a lasting impression I could cherish
in my heart for good.
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2017: Something to think about

Friday, August 13, 2010
While we were going around sightseeing in New York, I was surprised to

see that my son, Mayur, was letting Leela, his six weeks shy to be 10-year-old
niece, handle his heavy high-tech equipment. She was quite eager to take
pictures and at times videotape the occasions, sights, people and nature.
As she asked her uncle if she could, he handed over the equipment, gave her
quick instructions about how to use it efficiently, and asked her to hang belts
securely, first over her shoulder and second around the neck. When he came
by me, I asked, "Are you sure Leela can handle such equipment while walking
though crowds and climbing up and down, getting in and out of subways,
cabs, ferry?"
"We must let her try even if there's a chance, Mom. In about six years, she
will be driving. If given no opportunities, how is she going learn to be
confident and responsible?"
Though I listened to my son's every word, the most I remembered was "in
about six years, she will be driving." The rapid pace of technology is fetching
wrenching changes and as a result, family life and daily life are affected
constantly. I wondered how different life would be then.
As I pondered, I recalled the report that predicted changes in family life
and daily life, facts about the family, life without family, public investments
child care, family consumption and use of time, possible future scenarios
toward 2017, presented in 2006 by Copenhagen Institute for Future Studies.
In 2017, every home will be loaded with built-in wireless computers, which
combined will organize family, work and everyday life. And there will be new
rooms such as a Reboot (technology) room. When everything is connected
like this, the details of your life will be flying around the air. In that world,
security becomes paramount, so forget face-recognition software; in 2017, it
will be all about the eyes. It's possible to free us completely from our wallets
and keys using biometric technology. The Internet and network will at the
same time affect our relationships and communication, and will prompt new
conflicts in the family's daily life.
The study predicts, "All family members will be occupied with different
activities, from playing piano to making cheese, brewing beer, and designing
clothes, to painting, backyard golf and fitness." Some of this will go so well
that there will even be the possibility of running a little business centered on
this activity. And still creativity is not the only thing that will characterize the
house of the future. They will also be characterized by a lack of families to
live in suburban one-family houses, the desire for more homes and two-family
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homes in the city, too. Trends such as well-being, health and lifestyle housing
areas are also part of the picture.
In 2017, the global orientation will be much more about people, cultures
and relations than markets. There will be many more global families than
there are today. Increasingly more people will marry across borders,
nationalities and religions. There will also be an increase in the number of
friendships across borders, cultural divides and continents. There will be more
shared children who will more often travel alone to visit both mother and
father. And more will spend weekends together with friends in a global
metropolis.
The labor market will be broad and diverse, and people's work lives will
vary greatly. The processes will be so complex that they will require a great
deal of intellectual and personal involvement. Many people will largely work
with their minds but will get a great deal of help from technology to manage
everything, not least the thoughts. Most modern people will strive for greater
synergy between family, private life and work. The technological
development will mean that work is no longer necessarily tied to time and
place, which gives more opportunities for the individual to arrange his life, so
it best matches his life situation. In 2017, man's role in the family will be
much more prominent than it was in 2006. Men will fight for their relationship
with the children, right to paternity leave, child custody, and to work part
time.
In 2017, overabundance of experiences in daily life for many in the family
creates a greater need for fellowship. Vacations, as a prioritized ritual, become
one of the family's only joint projects. As the family is emptied of functions
over time, vacations provide the only leisure space in which the family is
assembled both physically and mentally. Increasingly many will also take
family sabbatical.
In 2017, more of us will be living with cancer, but the good news is that a
cancer diagnosis will be quicker and easier. And when a frightening diagnosis
comes in, effective treatments will be at hand. "We will start to see successful
treatments for Alzheimer's disease process, not just the symptoms, like current
drugs do," said Dr. Rudolph Tanzi of Massachusetts General Hospital.
Now, remember, this is an insight into how the family life and daily life of
the future will look. Uncertain of the presented scenarios toward 2017,
Copenhagen Institute for Future Studies hopes that it will inspire one to think
in new and different ways. If he does not like their guess about the future, he
always has the chance to create a different and better future by mending his
own attitude and behavior.
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One gleeful final note: My granddaughter, Leela, handled and used the
equipment as a skilled professional. Today's kids are a lot more technology
savvy than our generation thinks.
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Living healthier and stronger

Friday, December 31, 2010
Someone asked me how long I would like to live; my immediate response

was "as long as I am living." Frowning at me, she asked, "What do you mean
by that?" Living is for me as long as I'm healthy and all my faculties are
functioning independently. I realize each day more and more how we ought to
be grateful for our good health.
Our happiness depends on our being healthy. All the material possessions,
the delicious food in the refrigerator and pantry, good looks, valuable jewelry
and favorite designer outfits, fat bank accounts, and even friends and family
may seem valueless to someone when he or she isn't feeling well. Sickness
deprives us of our ability to enjoy good food and the desire to dress up. We
might even like to be left alone to indulge in the misery of sickness all by
ourselves.
However, do you ever wonder why many of us are so conscious of our
shapes, looks and health at the beginning of each new year? Maybe it is the
added holiday pounds, cabin fever and the thought of the more-revealing look
of warm-weather clothes that propel hordes of people to the gym and aerobic
classes. Or maybe it's feeling unhealthy by the time the holidays are over, for
there are so many opportunities to spoil our health during the holidays.
Striving for perfection and trying to please everyone during the holidays is
quite stressful. When one is stressed and constantly running around to get
things done, naturally she is eating in a rush while on the run, and with no
regard for nutrition. Therefore, it's natural to add on the holiday pounds. In
addition to unhealthy eating, diminishing daylight and wintry weather may
result in a sluggish lifestyle and a lack of a good night's sleep; all these cause
stress, and naturally when one is stressed, she tends to reach for more carbs
and sugary snacks and gets trapped in a vicious cycle of unhealthy habits.
Thus, feeling troubled and bugged by their health conscience, many make a
New Year's resolution about adopting a healthy lifestyle.
We have heard that the tradition of eating black-eyed peas and collard
greens on New Year's Day brings good luck throughout the year. This
exemplifies that old traditions are not exclusive of science. Black-eyed peas
are high in protein and fiber, even considered as a meat substitute, and collard
greens are naturally high in iron. New research suggests that consuming high
amounts of beta-carotene can lower the risk of dying from all causes,
including heart disease and cancer.
Research led by Dr. Chaoyang Li, from the CDC's division of behavioral
surveillance with epidemiology and laboratory services, notes that a host of
yellow-orange foods, such as carrots, sweet potatoes, pumpkin and winter
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squash, and mango and cantaloupe, are rich in alpha-carotene, as are some
dark-green foods, such as broccoli, green beans, green peas, turnip greens,
collards, kale, Brussels sprouts, kiwi, spinach and leaf lettuce.
Therefore, for the secret to a longer, happier and healthier life, look no
farther than your local grocery store. Superfoods are high in antioxidants and
have anti-aging and disease-fighting properties. What's more, they are low in
or completely free of harmful trans fats and refined sugars, which can
contribute to high blood pressure, diabetes and other health conditions.
It is believed that the occurrences on New Year's Day have a way of
repeating themselves throughout the year. Therefore, starting the new year
with good habits, such as eating healthy, may save one from making trips to
the doctor's office. We are told time and again, "Health is wealth. Your good
health puts you in a good mood and motivates you to work productively and
to be content and happy." So everyone wants to begin the new year with a
positive attitude, wearing new clothes, eating good food and being with family
and friends who encourage and inspire and help keep us in a good mood.
Everyone hopes to stay that way throughout the year.
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Stress relief
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
It was Wednesday, hump day. About 5 p.m., a distressed senior English

major Ms. Patrice Cooper, who was sitting limply in front a computer, all of a
sudden asked me, Mrs. Hiremath, what is your advice on stress relief?
Every day, while casually greeting them, I ask how they are doing, and
occasionally they mention how tired they feel; how much work they still need
to do and how little time they have. However, I dont remember anyone
recently asking for my advice this directly on stress relief.
Take a breather. As long as you are sure that you are not playing around
wasting your time, if you need a break, you deserve one. We human beings
have our own limits; we can go only so far and accomplish only so much,
was my prompt response. However, I couldnt stop reflecting on the matter. I
know these students are self-motivated, hardworking and constantly present at
the Writing Center. I see these students 3 or 4 times a day walk-in and walkout of the Center. They come in to start working on their assignments, and in
between, they dash out briefly to attend classes or take care of any other
matters only to dash in to continue their work. They do not need to be told to
study or reminded of their assignments due dates. They take their work
seriously.
Stress is an emotional and physical response to pressures from the outside
world. Stress happens when one feels like s/he doesnt have the tools to
manage all of the demands in her/his life. It can drain ones mind and body,
leaving her/him dismal in anxiety, heading toward destruction. Today, stress
seems more pervasive and persistent. Numerous studies show that between 75
- 95% of all visits to primary care physicians are due to stress related issues.
Thus, we come to believe that, while we are struggling to meet the
expectations of a high-speed, demanding life, its only normal to be stressed.
Thus, we try hard to cope with it; nevertheless, its crucial that we learn how
to relive stress by learning to relax our mind and body.
Since Busy and tired is todays mantra, time management is the first key
for managing stress or for stress control. Work efficiently, not just long and
hard. Second, since stress is related to mental and physical fatigue, experts
suggest that you must learn how to strengthen your body and mind by
following a regime of healthy diets, exercise, and breathing routines. Make a
little time to just sit in a relaxing pose focusing on positive images, breathe
slowly in and out through your nose, and be willing to let your stress go.
Write a thank you note; read a little something that makes you laugh and feel
better; play with kids; do gardening, or just take a peaceful 30 minutes walk
to slow down your raving mind. Nourish your body with the right foods. Eat
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fruits, nuts, and greens. Fruits provide antioxidants like vitamin C, which can
reduce blood pressure levels and fight the effects of stress. A serving or two of
fruit may also help curb those sugar cravings that are common when you're
under stress. A handful of almonds, walnuts or pecans contain a wealth of
vitamins and minerals. The magnesium in almonds can be especially calming.
Nuts can also stave off hunger and regulate your blood sugar when you can't
sit down for a balanced meal. Greens, like spinach, broccolis, are also rich in
magnesium, a stress-fighting mineral that can relax the body and mind and
help improve your mood.
components of good health. But these cant me maintained easily by reaching
for a scoop of ice cream or a bar of chocolate. Caffeine, alcohol and sugar are
the top culprits, which raise your brain chemicals that cause fatigue and make
it difficult to concentrate. Even though keeping up with healthy diets,
exercise, and breathing routines require a big investment of time and effort,
its worth investing. A healthy mind resides only in a healthy body. Without
health, there is no functioning mind. Consequently, life becomes hopeless.
Therefore, its time we realized that there is no alternative, but to strengthen
our body and nourish our mind.
Finally, trying your best should be your goal. If you are focused on your
goals and are mindful of your time, and health, you should be proud of your
accomplishments. If you are stressed to your limits and are still trying to
work, your efforts are going to be neither creative nor productive. When you
realize that your hard work is not as rewarding as expected, you will feel more
fatigued. Therefore, take a breather when you need one. Recharge your
batteries and then keep moving forward and progressing.
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Caring
April 2008
When I learned that caring is a character trait for the month of May,
subconsciously, I blurted, How appropriate!
Most commencement ceremonies take place in this month. And Mothers
Day falls in this month. In addition, let us not forget the entire month is
recognized as Older Americans Month. Caring permeates every event that
takes place in May. The events celebrated in this month are the results of
caring and love. In absence of caring, these events wouldnt take place.
Graduating seniors, you have reached a new milestone. You are
graduating. You must keep in mind that this day has arrived only because of
your parents, grandparents, and guardians caring, love, support, and help.
And because your teachers and administrators worked with you and helped
you bring this far by teaching, guiding, caring and loving you. Realize that
you wouldnt be standing where you are today on your own.
As John Donne said, "No man is an island". Even though you have worked
hard to succeed, no accomplishment is yours alone. It is a result of teamwork.
Someone has cared enough to present you opportunities, encourage and be
there when you needed, and thus, contributed to your every success. Never
forget that the phrase self-made man is just another one of the clichs, a
myth.
When it comes to mother, we all know that there is no match for mothers
care and love. Have you ever met a person who doesnt want to be loved,
cared, and comforted by his/her mother? When hungry, sick, or devastated,
one would always seek comfort in mothers presence. Or in her absence, at
least reminisce over the ways she loved, fed and cared for him or her, and,
thus, miss her care, and comfort. So celebrate Mothers Day by letting your
mother know that how much her care and love mean to you and how lucky
you are to have her as your mother.
Older Americans Month is a time to acknowledge the past as well as
current contributions of elderly persons. And as it is celebrated, it serves as a
reminder to the younger generation that its their turn to care for the aged.
Caring is mutual.
It is said, (It) takes a village to raise a child. We need no reminder to
remind us that we all were a child once. Thus, we all are raised by a village.
We are the product of its loving care and sacrifices. We are alive and
prosperous today only because many cared for us. As Seneca said, "Wherever
there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness. In the presence
of kindness, caring exists.
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Its obvious that the world wouldnt function without an element of care.
Caring is a fundamental principle of life and living. Caring is showing
understanding, feeling for others and treating others with kindness,
compassion, generosity and a forgiving spirit.
In the absence of caring, the world would be cold, scary place, filled with
crime, cruelty, hate, and hostility. However, everyone can make a difference,
if they take a little time to show that they care and treat family members,
friends, and neighbors with tolerance, respect, honesty and kindness in the
ways they would expect to be treated.
Learn to be compassionate to others. Let them know you care. If you see
something wrong, try to turn it into right. Cooperate and share. This is the way
to show our children how each one can make a difference. Put these values
into play and try to do one special thing for someone else each day. If
everybody made caring a priority, there would be no hate, fighting, or wars. It
would be the world full of caring people filled with love, peace, and grace.
How divinely great that would be!
Unlike previous generations, today's children spend large amounts of time
unsupervised and out of caring adults watchful eyes. As a result, many
children lack basic virtues such as caring, respect, helpfulness, and honesty,
the traits we once took for granted. Before these youngsters grow up to
become parents, the seeds of kindness and caring must be sown in them so
that, effortlessly, they will be able to instill in their children the same traits. As
clich as it may sound, how caring and morally savvy the future generations
are going to be, depends on how strongly we instill this trait in our children.
Caring leads to love and respect. Caring is contagious. If someone cares for
you, you naturally tend to care for that person. We are told: If you share your
pleasures, you will multiply your pleasures; and if you share your sorrows,
you will divide your sorrows.
The ideal is functional only when and where the character trait caring for
each other is abundant. Thus, lets multiply our pleasures and divide our
sorrows by sharing caring for each other and be happier.
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Life, a sexually transmitted disease?

March 2015
During my lifespan, I have come across all sorts of various life-describing

quotations. For some life is an empty dream; for others it is a bowl of cherries,
or a box of chocolate, or a song in which love plays the music. In a cynical
moment, one may see we humans as playthings of the gods who use us as
cruelly as schoolboys who pull the wings off flies. Yet, when I read an
anonymous author define life as a sexually transmitted disease, I cringed
and exclaimed impromptu, Ooh, gross.
Another quotation which came close to that was by Abraham Cowley,
Life is an incurable disease.
My thoughts lingered.
I have seen people facing difficult times in their lives due to economic
desperation or Mother Natures fury. TV news broadcasts report, time after
time, showing thousands of acres land blackened by fires, and houses, mobile
homes and apartments that come in the path of a furious Mother Nature
flattened within moments; people, suffering due to torrential rains, floods or
droughts, losing all they owned. Even when situations seem like the victims
must be drowning in hopelessness, standing with just a shirt on their back, I
never heard them saying, Life is sickening; I wish I were dead. Instead,
they express their gratitude for just being alive.
Pious people consider life a pilgrimage to God; a ladder to climb the holy
spot that is there afar!
However, it is hard to know what made the author describe life as a
sexually transmitted disease. One could only guess that the author considers
life a disease that is sexually transmitted, for life originates in sex. (The
original family, Adam and Eve, are blamed for their disobedience to God.)
Life exists only when a man and woman become one.
Yet, one must keep in mind that all sexual intercourse is not adultery;
fundamental principles of morality are simple and universal. Instead of
looking at sexual pleasure as an illicit instant gratification, if it happens with
fair play and harmony in a loving, monogamously committed relationship, the
couple creates a healthy home where hope and the future lie. Home becomes a
place of great accomplishment. Creating life is considered the general purpose
of human life as a whole. In a secure family, when a child is born out of love,
the bundle of joy to the parents is an angel that brings heaven to earth.
Personally, in my hasty moments, I see life as an endless chore. While
making a mockery of self-imposed duties, life has a way of keeping one busy.
Life sets a pattern and creates certain inevitable needs: get an education, earn
a living, get married, have a family, raise the children; people are expected to
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follow the usual pattern of life. On a lighter side, even independent retired
people who are through with lifes self-imposed duties are not free of their
own household chores; for instance, you may have noticed that the moment
you do laundry or wash dishes, you find a piece of clothing or a dish that
needed to be washed. Thus, neither the sink nor the laundry basket stays
empty for long. The process begins all over. Years ago when my child asked
me why he had to keep cleaning his room, I had replied, Why do we take a
shower every day or eat multiple meals a day? Now today as an adult, I feel
compelled to ask the same question and wish that once cleaned, it should stay
clean. I would rather use my time doing something more productive.
As St. Bernard states, Life is a misery to be born, a pain to live, a trouble
to die. Nevertheless, to be or not to be is not the question. We are here.
Regardless, life goes on until the Creator calls us Home. Life is what it is.
How well we live is the matter. Believing in our own self-worth, calculating
risks, and putting in the work necessary, we must move on. We should make
the best of the opportunity. Being born as a human is the most precious gift. It
is worth living through and through.
Disease makes lifes ease disappear. If someone, due to lack of conscience,
is emotionally, physically, spiritually disturbed, he is reckoned as sick. Every
moral failure is going to cause trouble, probably to others and certainly to
oneself. Life is an echo. The universal logic is that what is sent out comes
back; what is sown is reaped; what is given is received; what you see in others
exists in you. Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to better
understanding of ourselves. Legends advise us to learn from others
experiences and apply the learning to our lives so that we may escape the
heartache others suffered. Even so, life may prove an ordeal to some.
Consider it a destiny! Sustained by faith and clear consciences, we must live
our best. As John Milton advises, Nor love thy life, nor hate; but what thou
livest, live well; how long, or short, permit to Heaven. Ultimately everything
leads to final enlightenment.
As life is an endless series of experiences, one may naturally define life in
various ways at a different stage of his life. It is obvious that each ones
definition of life reflects his or her perception, his viewpoint, and the angle
from which he looks at each experience. A definition may be inspiring or
spirit dampening, or may give the reader a new perspective on life.
Overall, the world is neither ugly nor hopeless. Life is beautiful and grand
experience. There is so much beauty to enjoy. Hope never dies if
conscientiously nourished by diligence and courage. Happiness is often more
of a choice than of circumstances. The world is as it is, but our reaction to that
world what determines whether we are sad or happy.
A Variety of Poems
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How I Wish I Could

Hearing a knock on the door,
questioning, Who is there?
I opened the door
As I eyed your twinkling eyes, and bright smiley face,
collecting myself,
after a moments pause, I uttered,
I thought the sun was to set soon.
Maybe youre just gazing at twinkling stars,
you answered with a mischievous smile
None broke the silence for a while
Where are your parents? you questioned quietly
Gone to visit my uncle, I uttered nervously
Tonight is a special night, the winter solstice night,
the longest night of the year, according to our almanac
Besides, its moonlit night, a night before full-moon
I would take you to my secret place
to be together in this solstice grace
Hearing you in awe and fear, I stared
Reading me well, though bashfully, firmly you answered,
No disgrace to anyones honor, for just to honor our hearts desire
May we hurry! We have miles to walk
before Mother Earth laps her tired Sun to rest!
Dressed in white to inspire peace and piety,
to keep alert my chastity
With my head bowed and eyes struck to the ground,
I followed you from a distance
Knowing well,
Though cat drinks milk stealthily with its eyes shut,
the eyes of the world are not shut
After walking a mile, and crossing the railroad,
you turned around and uttered,
I would race you if you may!
After we raced each other for almost an hour,
I stilled in awe, and bowed my head in reverence
Mother Earth covered with carpet in natural green
Hue-filled horizon, union of Mother Earth and Father Sky
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where the mystery of life and life after is held intact

Shimmering Sun, descending to call the day to rest,
carrying all the worlds secrets and worries in his golden pail to rest
On the hill, close in the vicinity stood alone a temple
with golden gopura1 reflecting all the wondrous hues of twilight
beckoning mortals to the gateway of immortality
Holding my breath, I dragged myself a few more steps
Stepping in tepid water,
I realized that we had a river to cross
The setting sun with a horizon in sight,
the running river with holy water,
the awaiting temple to grace eternity,
heightened the blissful sense of divinity
I eyed you, waiting for me to step in the ferry to travel across
You read my mind, stepped out of the ferry,
stood by me facing the setting sun
With holy water, we washed our hands,
wet our eyes, and sprinkled our heads
Being humble with breathtaking tranquility,
to the sun god, we offered our evening ablutions
Entranced by overwhelming serenity,
I stepped in the ferry to reach the other end
With heavy hearts and tied tongues,
we ascended to reach the temple
On this end,
The setting Sun descended to rest on his Mothers lap
On the other end,
The rising Moon ascended to resume his duties after a long nap
As the chilled mountain breeze hastened us,
to feel the warmth and snugness of mothers womb,
we entered the tiny temple
Steadily burning oil lamp, divine scent of camphor,
lit sandalwood incense, and fresh wild flowers
1
Gopura is a typical traditional metal top that adorns every temples roof in the East.
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confirmed that the worship had just taken place

As in awe I looked at you, you explained,
The unknown worshipper worships the deity
Though not in the vicinity, nor has anyone seen him,
This is the scene of the temple, never changing, and
this confirmed by your past visits,
kept your feeling of bliss and tranquility alive
Extremely cozy was the facility
Ishwara2 was on the altar, adorned by His vehicle
in the front, Nandi3 was sitting
With heart filled with reverence, we bowed in faith, and then
You shut the door tight to keep the chill out
We said our prayers, sang several sloka4
rang the bell quietly, steadily, and rhythmically
Hours passed.
Chirping, singing birds and a rooster from afar
dawned on us the sense of reality
Bowing once again before saying goodbye,
in silence, we descended the hill
Offering our prayer to the holy river,
we stepped into her bed to wash our hands, faces,
and sprinkle our heads with the holy water
You broke the silence, finally,
Not the time to sunrise,
Nor the time to sunrise ablutions
Lets erect sand Ishwara on the riverbank
Lets worship and celebrate our solstice night
Out of words, I nodded in consent
Under the moonlit sky, awaiting sunrise,
you started building Ishwara, and
2
The Lord as Ishwara is He by whose will the whole Universe is created and dissolved in
orderly cycle
3
Nandi is Lord Ishwaras vehicle. He is a Divine Bull. According to the scriptures, he has
acquired the knowledge of three worlds (i.e. past, present, and future) by his virtue and
patience.
4
sloka is a Couplet or Quatrain in Sanskrit
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I went in search of flowers

After worshipping, we raised ourselves,
Circled the Ishwara thrice in clockwise direction,
symbolizing the illumination of mind, knowledge, and happiness,
Prayed for Almightys forgiveness for all the trespassing and disobedience
With our hands folded, as we stopped in front of the deity,
you gazed at me, while I avoided meeting your eyes with mine
Moving a step closer to me, softly,
You touched my hand, and gently pulled me towards you
Shocked by the electricity, dying of shyness,
I hid my face in your chest
The heat of your breath and the beat of your heart
carried us away on a train ride to explore our life ahead
After moments passed, you uttered,
How I wish to embrace you tight, and touch my lips to yours,
---But---I believe,
To every thing there is a season, and
a time to every purpose under heaven5
My eyes closed, I rested my head on your heart
How I wish to freeze this moment to lean in eternity
with no bondage to mortality
Chirp, dance, sing my dear birds
to cherish this moment and witness
this divine union of immortal souls
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is mystery
I dare not wait for the morrow
Sweet day, so cool, calm, and bright
Today, I became your bride,
witnessed by Mother Earth and Father Sky
The bells in the temple rang in rhythm from afar
Dewdrops shed their cheerful tears to bless the occasion from afar
5
Quotation from Ecclesiastes: 3.1-8
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Though arrived as two,

we became one with the Divine Self6 as Eternal Whole7
No heed to the mundane world
Not an urge of mortal flesh
Nor a desire for the past or future
but seize the moment
to still the time to freeze it forever
How I wish to immortalize
The union of two souls being one
Not to separate ever again
Or even better at this moment
How I wish to lean in Shoonya,8
reducing myself to nothingness
to enter the state of Nirvana9
Self stands for soul, and Divine Self is Brahman, an aspect of Godhead, as a feature of
Absolute Truth
7
Eternal Whole to become complete by the union of two souls
8
When this union of soul and Divine Soul takes place, soul loses its individuality. It ceases to
exist; means soul is reduced to Nothingness or zero; therefore, this state is recognized as
Shoonya. Shoonya is a Sanskrit word.
9
Hinduism believes that the individual soul which is like the spark of Eternal Essence when
purified by good, is finally released from the bondage of reincarnation in the flesh, and the
soul is joined with Universal Soul in eternity, and this state is called Nirvana.
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Eternal Whole
Passing through a strangers lane,
with a mirror in my walking cane
I sensed someone coming close to me,
I turned around to see who was there
I eyed you in a strangers lane
I doubted my being sane
I lost my senses as I froze
I dropped my cane, broke the mirror, as I dozed
As I groped through the broken pieces, to collect my dreams,
You moved close, whispering, You need help, seems!
Our eyes met without a strange trace
I knew we had known each other for eternity through Grace
Do I need to count the ways I love you?
Loudly enough talked your calm dark, wide eyes,
where no darkness, but only twinkling pried
May we reunite in others eyes, you proposed
I lost my self, I cant think
Every moment deep and deeper I sink
I cant say, Yes! but No! is not my answer
I am not myself; how can I answer?
As you waited for my answer to rise,
staring in your patient, love-filled eyes,
I mumbled, I broke my cane; I cannot walk
I broke my mirror; I cannot dot10
With my bare forehead, I cannot be sought
I am not whole in this mortality
How can I unite you in eternity?
Reading my mind, you answered,
I will be your cane, you can walk
10
According to Hindu tradition, every married woman puts a vermillion red dot on her
forehead.
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My eyes are your mirror, you can dot

No doubt about our being sought
In unity, we will be whole
In the end
Hand in hand, we will walk in eternity
to unite with the Divine Self11 in Eternal Land
11
Self stands for Soul. Divine Self is Brahman, an aspect of Godhead, as a feature of Absolute
Truth.
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Do I Wish?
A mothers plea
January 1996
As I held the bulky telephone and utility bills,

my sulky heart filled with pain and agony
My hand is trying to handle the long bills
as my eyes are trying to find something
not knowing what is that something
All of a sudden I am feeling terribly sad
I feel like curling myself tightly to clad
myself in my mothers womb to be glad
Is it the bill that is making me sad?
Is it the money I am concerned about?
Is it only the monetary value which matters to me all?
What is it that has acutely saddened me?
Dear God! I am here, again
You are my Heavenly Father
You promised me to make yourself
perennially available for three Cs
Do I need to cite the three Cs, again?
Well! Let me for my own clarification
Complaints, comments, compliments
may be the reason to come to your sight
as your deserving child if I choose
Not sure if it is a complaint or a comment,
but certainly not a compliment
Of course! I need not explain it to you
You are the Creator!
You see, read and fathom each of the three worlds12
as explicitly as a berry on your palm
You are the Creator,
Incarnation of Love, Peace, and Harmony
You created this universe in your image
Then why is there such discrepancy in this world?
12
Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow i.e. Past, Present, and Future
Forget about the world

Leave the universe alone
Consider just a parent and a child,
precisely, just my child and me
*****
Hearing the doorbell ring, I opened the door

Carrying all his luggage on his shoulders and arms,
my son walked in like a soldier
Not satisfied with his quick hug and Hey Mom,
full of query, I followed him to his room,
Placing his luggage down on the floor,
he unzipped the bag packed with varieties of cables,
pulled all the cables out, scattered them on the floor and
plugged into every electric outlet in his room
In an instant he transferred his room into a high-tech
communications and information center, using his laptop
Stereo-equipped television started functioning and flashing
as high sound entertainment center,
while his cell-phone and shaver started recharging,
stilling me in awe
My mouth opened,
being disturbed by the flashes and noise,
remembering not why was I there,
I uttered, Golly! Its whole lot of noise
Your life is wired!
Taking my words literally, my son assured me
Its going to get better, Mom
Soon well have the technology without cables!
A firm believer: In quietude God talketh to you,
I felt very disturbed
Asked him to turn off the equipment currently not in use
Life has to move, Mom!
Everything has to be living, moving, and flashing
This is the Duke way!
To succeed, we have to adapt to live in the fast lane,
responded my son
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In the next few minutes--Hearing about half-a-dozen distinctive beeps,

each signaling a new electronic message has arrived,
After three hours --Receiving a briefing of national and world news,
along with the Wall Street stock exchange data
Beeping of his timepiece every hour, and
ringing of his cell-phone and telephone on and off,
I realized our quiet home had been turned into a
Mainstream business office within a moments flash
*****
The child comes home months after being away for academics
The parent is glad to have him home
to feed him well,
to know his current and future endeavors,
to appreciate his achievements,
to take pride in his knowledge
But the child--He uses the home as a facility to shower,
and, only when the parent insists, to eat
Mostly he is out catching up with his bunch of friends,
inquiring whats up with their lives,
meeting them in public places like restaurants, parks
to reminisce, to play, or to go to the movies
If he is in--He is on the telephone talking with friends he couldnt catch,
the friends who are away from home,
Or he is on his laptop,
along with all his noisy equipment functioning,
regardless of his presence or attention
All the awaiting parent gets is,
With a quick hug,
Hi, Mom! Bye, Mom! See you later, Mom!
I may come home late, Mom! May I have the key, Mom!
*****
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This is the time for my child to go back

A shower, a little food intake,
a hug to say goodbye, and the words, I love you, Mom!
Trying to hold my tears in tightly,
I remind him to take good care of himself
With a tight embrace, to say goodbye, I utter, I love you, too!
As he drives away,
Wiping my tears, feeling sad, I walk in
Wondering, when the child is the parents whole world,
Why has the child no concern?
Is this generation all about I, me, and mine?
The parent who anxiously looks forward to the childs visit,
steps into the childs room only to notice
an unmade bed and several scattered damp towels
*****
Oh Dear Father! This is your creation

Why this much lack of balance?
Both the entities are created by you
Why one is so sensitive
While the other one is so insensitive
Dear God! Isnt it reasonable to desire my child
who is considered by others one of the most
amiable, amicable, congenial, sensitive, and humanitarian
to be a little more sensitive towards his parents feelings?
My God! Speak to me kindly about my dear child
*****
My dear child! answered my Heavenly Father,

Desire is never reasonable
Thwarted desire is the root cause of misery
*You have the right to perform your prescribed duty,
but you are not entitled to the fruit of action
Never consider yourself the cause of the results
of your activities,*13
Never be attached to not doing your duty,
13
reference to Bhagavad-Gita (Hindu Bible), a noble Sanskrit poem, which forms part of the
Mahabharata epic, is the Hindu Bible
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for you bore the child

If you choose not to be sad,
choose not to desire the fruit of action, in return
Besides, continued my Father,
*Your child is not your child
He is the child of lifes longing itself
He comes through you, but not from you
He is with you, yet he belongs not to you
You may give him your love, but not your thought,
for he has his own thoughts
You may house his body, but not his soul,
for his soul dwells in the house of tomorrow
Tomorrow is a mystery you can visit not even in your dream
You may strive to be like him,
but seek not to make him like you,
for life goes not backward, or tarries with yesterday
You are the bow from which your child as living arrow is sent
The Archer seeks the mark upon the path of the infinite, and
He bends you with His might
that His arrow may go swift and far
Let your bending in the Archers hand be for gladness,
for even He loves the arrow that flies, so
He loves the bow that is stable *14
*****
I thank you, dear Father, for giving me this child

Do I wish my child were a little more sensitive to my feelings
and made me proud of his love and care for his mother?
Yes!
But I would rather count my blessings
And be grateful to my Heavenly Father
Thank you for blessing me with the opportunity
to mother my child,
to rock his cradle, and
to lend him my hand when he tripped while taking his baby steps,
stared into my eyes helplessly with tiny arms stretched, and
14
reference to The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
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for his relieved giggle and tight hug when I held him in my arms
I will never forget those cherished moments in my life
Nor would I ever trade my baby for anything in this world
I bow deep in my faith to express my gratitude
My Heavenly Father, I thank you, once again
for blessing me with this unique child,
The child that makes me proud,
though he gets on my nerves more often
My Heavenly Father! Bless Me

In the darkest moment of my life,
One told me
Not to cry in the presence of my children
The second said
Not to stay at home in the absence of my children,
While the other opined
There shouldnt be any idle moment in my life,
for in idle moments worries linger to nest
Another friend tried to remind me an eternity of soul,
marriage, union of two hearts,
not just till death us do part,
But even after
Two souls being one in the Eternal Whole
All studied theosophy, philosophy, and psychology
knowing even beyond what my dear friends said
I cry nonstop, desperately
All the scriptural wisdom seems dull, useless, and vain
Nothing but jargon!
The mind, darkened by woes and agony
takes its own moment,
questions Gods existence,
doubts about His love and care
All of a sudden,
The sky is blanketed with darkness
Im deprived of viewing the horizon,
or gazing at the bright, beautiful rainbow,
let alone reaching the pot of gold, hiding behind the rainbow
Gazing at the sky surrounded by the dark clouds,
I search for a silver lining, for a ray of hope
Heavenly Father, my dear God, bless me
Bless me with a divine friend
A friend who would hold my secrets at heart
A friend who would carry away my woes and worries afar,
A friend who would assure me of a sunrise after every sunset
II
Friend
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Bless me with a divine friend

A friend,
In a setting Sun who is to call the day to rest,
ready to descend on his Mothers lap to rest,
carrying all the worlds worries in his golden pail to rest
A friend,
In a bird in flight,
A bird that would fly away with all my worries
In a rose, about to burst into the bloom,
despite the throng of thorns its surrounded by
A rose that would fade my gloom
A friend to confide my woes and worries,
as trouble gets tough and the going gets rough
Let the worry friend worry for me
Let the worry friend sing blues for me
Let the worry friend take my worries on a flight for me,
reminding me that every cloud has its silver lining
III
Power to Dream
Dear Lord! Kindly bless me with a power to dream
Each dream enabling me to gaze closely at the horizon,
where Mother Earth and Father Sky unite
where the mysteries of life and life after are held intact
Lead me close and closer to the rainbow,
enabling me to touch the pot of gold hidden behind
My eyes fixed on the pot of gold
The richest sight of sights to be
One with the Divine Light
And beyond the shadow of the Divine Light
To be with you, my Heavenly Father and Cosmic Mother
Let me be your child to inherit your Eternal Treasure
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In Loving Memory of Muleshchandra M. Swami

Passed on February 28th, 1997
Written on the 3rd anniversary, February 28th, 2000
I
Who You Were to Me
Who were you to me?
Were you a spiritual teacher?
Were you a relative?
Were you a friend?
I called you Uncle, as several children did
Though most of the community addressed you as Bhai*15
Youre too modest to let me title you a spiritual teacher
God gave you not to me as a relative,
I respected you a lot more than just to call you a friend
But,
You were all, and a lot more to me
You were my guide, philosopher, and friend
Your virtue was your patience
Your unshaken faith in the Creator of the Universe
was the captain to sail forth into the sea of life
You led a gentle, loving, trusting life
Stood as a role model to me as well as to many
And proved in the end,
Our faith triumphs oer our fears, woes, and worries
In the darkest moment of my life,
when I was deprived of viewing the horizon,
dreaming of the rainbow and even reflecting on
reaching the pot of gold hidden behind,
I asked my dear Father to bless me with a friend
A friend who would sing my blues
A friend who would rid my woes and worries with his piety,
Thus, lead me close and closer to my ultimate dream,
my eyes fixed on the pot of gold - that Divine Light,
15
Bhai is respectful suffix that brothers and sisters add to the name of their eldest brother.
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beyond the shadow of the Divine Light to my Heavenly Father

to be His child to inherit His Eternal Treasure
You walked into my life
I deemed your arrival the boon
You did not sing my blues,
but made me sing my own blues
Singing my blues helped me light my heart,
enlighten my spirit
You held no magic wand to rid my woes and worries
But by listening to my relentless blues,
you simply made me realize the human limits:
The course of life as designed by the Universal Designer,
The Karma, the cycle of death and life and life after
No escape!
But just go through the process with dignity and faith
*****
II
Deception
By your grace and dignity,
you earned a very special place in my heart
To make me feel better and uplift my spirit,
you told me the story of your life
In the end, you said, Look where I stand, now!
I feel like I am on the top of my world!
No woes, no worries,
but only to serve Him as He commands!!
You desired to live long,
and work hard every moment of your life
You focused on fulfilling your dreams
You dreamt of helping the people in need
by uplifting their spirits, by bringing awareness
and spiritual meaning to their lives
You tried to help the confused children, who lacked self-esteem,
proper guidance and faith in the Creatorthe loving Father!
Being an educator,
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You vowed to serve each and every child under your wing
Uplift every child by educating, enlightening
You aimed at making children realize the concept of one God
Even though, He is recognized by different names
No place for confusion, hatred, or jealousy,
The power of prayer--- the direct communication
with our Heavenly Father, the Creator of the Universe
to disclose ones woes and worries, as well as desires and dreams
to light ones heart, and fill it with hope and faith
You always said that you would never get tired
You would never stop working as long as you lived
But before too long,
With no warning,
Health, your mate, who had been a lasting companion to you,
Broke your heart with her infidelity
You were startled, discomforted, and saddened
You tried to reason by questioning her,
Why! ---Why!!---Why!!!
Havent I taken good care of you?
Havent I loved and cherished you?
Havent I been faithful to you?
All of a sudden why this deception
Why are you divorcing me?
You even begged,
I need you badly; without you, I cant live
You demanded your mates unfailing fidelity
You reminded her about your plans and dreams
You told her firmly that you needed to be undistracted
You reminded her about your vow of serving the Master
You asked the reason for her cheat
With a mischievous smirk, answered your companion,
Maybe it is just your fate---destiny!
*****
III
I Miss You!
You were heartbroken
The conflict demanded your time and attention,

blanketed your plans and dreams with uncertainty
In discomfort and pain, you called on the Creator
You pleaded your faithfulness, and
Complained about your mundane companions infidelity
You challenged the Heavenly Father either to bless you with
an undistracted and self-contented life to perform His services
or to lift you up, to take you Home to be with Him
You being the beloved child of Father,
He listened to your heartbroken, painful plea
He granted your wish; February 28th, was the day
With content, you uttered, It is time for me to go Home
I have gone through my course, and kept my faith
It is time for me to go Home!
Peacefully you bade goodbye to this world
You arrived in this world crying, but
Your departure made others cry
You fulfilled your lifes mission meekly
Now, realizing that you are free of pain and suffering,
Ive learned to accept your parting with great efforts
However,
I miss talking with you,
I miss your guidance
At times, I feel like an orphan with a vacuum in my heart
But again I know
You will continue to serve the Father as He desires,
You obeyed the Father out of love and faith, not out of fear
*****
IV
Farewell
I remember every minute detail of your last visit to me
It is as fresh as if it happened yesterday
It was Sunday afternoon,
I was pleasantly surprised by your visit
Though you lived across the street,
you never visited me unnotified
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Besides, just the day before you had brought me

a few Yoga magazines and a set of books by Swami Vivekananda
Only a couple of the set are missing, you mentioned
Nothing was usual about your visit
Definitely something was not all right
This day, you walked in with a set of paper-bills
Printed were spiritual messages on them
I just came from the post office,
Mailed two of the three sets to my two sisters
The third set, the last one, is for you, you said
I was very touched and felt extremely honored
While thinking of your sisters, you thought of me
With my tear-filled eyes, I thanked you for the rare gift,
the treasures for the generations to come
You tried to smile
Now-a-days, I am feeling perfectly fine.
No complaints, said you.
You seemed very indifferent, detached, and distinct
Still, as always,
We discussed different topics and issues
You spoke about my children with great concern,
but bereft of attachment, unlike any other times
You told me not to get upset if they listen not to me
You advised, Just pray to Him
so that it will reach them through Him
He loves and cares for everyone.
A few months ago, you had asked me to study
the concept of death in different disciplines
This day, I was studying Buddhism
The page of the open bulky book displayed
the picture of reclining Buddha
Smiling Buddha after entering Nirvana,
illustrated peace and serenity death brings
Again and again,
You gazed at the picture without a blink for several minutes,
For long, none said a word
Just to distract myself, I went to prepare tea

I offered you tea and a piece of cake
Without saying a word,
you had a morsel of cake and just a sip of tea
This, too, was very unusual
For the first time in all these years,
you had have a little food intake
You neither declined nor did you comment, relating health
Now, I realize that was your kind way to say goodbye to me
I wish I had realized it then
At the end of every visit, you used to say,
I will call you or see you later.
But this time you didnt say a word
Every time I used to walk you out
We used to continue our conversation outside the door,
at times even longer talks than we had inside
This time you said, No need to come outside.
Its cold out there!
You closed the door tightly behind you
I experienced unusual feeling, rather sad, painful
My eyes were wet with tears, knowing not why
Even after three years, my heart still aches intensely
Just a few months ago, while working on something,
I got stuck on a certain concept
Too engrossed in the task to remember that you are no more,
I had picked up my cordless phone to call you
I know, you have told me repeatedly
It is He who fills the shuttle, for He knows what is best
Each life is fabric planned and fashioned in His care
Understanding the plan of the Master Weaver,
Patiently, we must be a thread in the Weavers skillful hands
We must do our best and leave the rest to Him
He brought you in my life
Bowing in my faith,
I thank my Heavenly Father for his blessings
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Thinking of you, I make a wish:

May your soul rest in peace
May you be my Guardian Angel
May you watch over the loved ones
May you be the shining star to lead
And when your loved ones time comes,
as the curtain of twilight falls,
Lead the soul into the Divine Light
To be with Heavenly Father in the Eternal Family
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Enlightened
January 2000
As I come from the University, not being in usual mood,

Dont feel like rushing out for a brisk walk,
Nor do I feel like staying in
Motionless mind, quiet, peaceful, without a tumult,
like any other winter day
As I slowly slide the sliding door,
the cold air dashes in
Mid-month of January quite a chill in the air
Scarf around my neck, gloves on my hands, and
the London Fog winter coat to snug my body in warmth
I sit in the courtyard gazing at the sun and the sky
Lo! Here grows the wonder tree in the stillness of my heart
Its branches spread far and wide
On its every leaf there abide spectacles never seen before
In a tranquil mood,
I offer my thankful prayers to the sun god,
for granting me such a graceful day
Mind filled with graceful peace, slowly, I get up
Linger around the house
The moon, newborn into the night,
ascends with his companion Venus,
the goddess of Love and Beauty,
Takes me back in a flash to reminisce
Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are16
My firstborn singing and dancing with the tinkling
of her anklet bells chiming in rhythm
Yes! I do wonder who you are
Are you the beautiful baby girl whom
I held in my arms months ago?
Appraised of my trance,
Your cheerful mother deemed it the blessing
16
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, a popular English lullaby was first published in 1806 in Rhymes for the
Nursery, a collection of poems by Taylor and her sister Ann.
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And then again Weeks after

As I sat in prayers with my eyes closed in front of the altar
With a picture of goddess Padmavati,
adorned with a fresh flower garland
On the side steadily burning oil lamp
Air filled with divine scent of camphor
Dashing in the Gods room, you walked in front to the altar
Moved the garland from the goddess, and
Tried to put it around my neck
Being too small, it adorned my head, like a headdress
As I opened my eyes to notice what was happening,
You were standing there with a mischievous smile
The same baby girl I had held in my arms weeks before
Now maybe about three years old
I was amazed
Shedding happy tears, I hugged you tightly
and gave your mother a holler,
asking her to see what you were up to
When I woke up,
my pleasant heart was filled with content
I bow to our Creator! Heavenly Father
Wondering if you are that adorable little girl
Lingering in my sweet reflections,
I linger around the front yard
Before hanging the stars in Heaven,
Mother Nature dusted the lamps and filled them with unending oil,
and lit them to light up the path of wanderer, a lonely traveler
As I wander in wonder,
A reflection of the moon
in a pool of water stirs my curiosity to wonder
If you are the baby Ram growing up in Ayodhya, once upon a time
The Ram who puts his royal parents in a dilemma
Pointing over to the sky and demanding the moon be his playmate
The emphatic parents, being the emperors of Kosala, thought
There was nothing in this world they couldnt afford
to fulfil their princes yearnings,
But Ram makes them feel helpless, and
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Wets their eyes with tears

Hearing Rams cry, his attendant notices the matter
Walking to the kitchen, she returns with a silver plate in her hand
Ram holds the silver plate with the moon reflected in it,
He calms down
His parents breathe a sigh of relief
Oh dear Baby!
I vision your face full of love and grace
Whoever you may be---a boy or a girl ---matters me not
Sweet Angel! I love you with my whole heart, already
*****
As the university tower clock chimes from afar, I walk inside

After changing and washing my freezing hands, face, and feet
I light a lamp with the stillness in my heart
Holding the card sent by my firstborn, today
The card pictures the wise man sitting on the mountain saying--With each birthday, you will learn many new lessons
on the path to enlightenment. Todays lesson:
As I open the card,
Not all birthday cards contain money,
Writes your mother,
And not all of them contain picture of a new baby to come,
With the sonogram picture attached on the side
No need to gaze at your sonogram picture
I picture you perfectly in my vision
Today, thinking of you, Dear Sweetheart!
I make a wish,
May your stay in your mothers womb be comfortable,
May your soul reminisce only on pleasant memories,
May it be in absence of jealousy and suspicion
May your arrival into this world be painless and joyous
*****
My dear Heavenly Father, the Creator of the Universe

Let the beauty linger in my soul
The beauty
Of a rose just bursting into bloom
Of a bird in flight
Of a moon, newborn into the night
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Hearty Congratulations
This piece was written in 2000, when my daughter, Meena, earned her doctorate.
With Faith in the Lord Almighty, you can achieve

everything you dream of on this graduation day
God has blessed you with unique talent and abilities
You have used those gifts well!
You have taken nothing for granted
Rather you have worked hard to prepare for a challenging future
Just as important as the lessons you learned in the classroom are
The ways youve grown as a whole person
Therere times things didnt go as well as you planned
The roads you were trudging seemed all uphill
The funds were low and expenses were high
The mind was clouded with doubts and uncertainty
Though you desired to smile, you had to sigh more often
You thought of quitting and of taking a road more traveled by
Today, I am certain,
You are glad, for you didnt quit, and that has made all the difference
The uncertainty of tomorrow and yesterdays faded dreams
are blown away by the wind of time
The splendor of wisdom dispels the doubts of fear and uncertainty
Through your outstanding achievement and dynamic personality,
You have earned the honor of having your name added to the list of scientists
You have taken an oath of bettering the humanity through your service
Apply your knowledge to keep your family happy and healthy
Realize your beauty by making your heart a temple of God
Let reside the God Almighty---the Universal Power within your heart
The beauty of God is like a magic wand
Once the wand touches you,
every aspect of your personality becomes beautiful
Beauty renders happiness and peace
Then therere only smiles, no sighs
My hearty congratulations to you my darling daughter, Meena
By the grace of Almighty and your hard work,
You have earned your wings to fly to your hearts desire,
Catch your dreams; bring them to reality
May the God, our Heavenly Father, bless you, protect you,
and guide you in the right direction

This is your day to rejoice and
be thankful to those who helped to make it happen
Always be humble, for
Knowledge is validated by humility
Humility enriches your value
Enriched value brings wealth to you
Wealth enables you to perform humanitarian deeds
Humanitarian deeds will bring blessings,
happiness and peace to your heart
Lasting happiness and peace to your heart
With love by your very proud
Mom
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Confused
I am afraid
Confused of a strange feeling
Unable to interpret, I wonder
How could it happen and why now?
Silly, said my Guardian Angel,
Do you wonder when you see
a slivery waterfall emerge out of hard cold rock
a beautiful flower graced to a cactus bush far away in the desert,
the darkest cloud illuminate the sky and the earth,
as lightning flashes through its heart
a golden ray of intuition shine out of the great cloak of adversity,
tearing the veil of ignorance,
He is the Creator! This is His Creation!!
Do you wonder
On the sultry summer morning, from the picturesque west
When a soothing gust of wind sets in,
If your eyes see such a bounty of colors
and a beauty of rainbow
majestically molded into a marvelous arc
high in the sky with ends skillfully set on rock
And on the east,
the sun with enchanting light and glow,
Accept the light and colors
Drench your Self in His blessings
He is the master weaver,
He plans a fabric of your life
Without losing a sense of wonder,
Remember it is He who knows the best
Be a thread of gold and silver in the weavers skillful hand,
He weaves the fabric in the pattern he has planned
You are a child of destiny
Youve used the very strength to overcome your ordeals
Is it wise to question or reason that power, now?
Your new journey has just begun to find your identity
To be or not to be is not the question
Shade your virtue explore your soul

To everything there is a season,
and a time for every purpose under heaven17
17
Quotation from Ecclesiastes: 3.1-8
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I Never Had an Affair with You

We never met, our paths never crossed,
Yet, I heard about you a lot
The learned talked and experienced cautioned
Physicians treated the sick, affected by you your deceit
The deceived were the victims
hurt and pained by your violence but survived
Because of your deadly attack,
sadly, silenced are those who are dead and gone
In such a weak moment, when at ease,
I lost control of my self
Riding on golden yolks,
you mesmerized me with your buttery charm,
Cleverly, you forced your partnership
over my body and my life
You said you are the man, the strong one, to rule,
I was the woman, the weak one, to be ruled
Because of your violence,
I always felt hungry, cold, and fatigued
You controlled my diet, clothing, and social activities
You told me what to eat, what and whatnot to wear
You made me housebound
You became my owner and treated me as a slave
I was always depressed, desperately helpless
I lost my independence
The word independence was just a word from my past,
Just a sweet dream!
With a sluggish mind, I tried to recall the resounding words
that equivocally defined freedom and independence
Fortunately! One early morning,
I woke up drenched in sweat
The words Give me liberty or give me death,
started ringing in my dull, heavy head
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In the dark room, an aromatic candle was lit,

A steady reminder, every cloud has a silver lining
In the womb of every sunset, sunrise takes birth
Even in the darkest moment there is a ray of hope
Determined to restart life blissfully
I demanded a divorce
Though, I never took the vows
--For better or for worsetill death us do part--
Unhappy, you determined to cause me pain and suffering
With every last strain of your body, you made me miserable
Faithfully, with hope, I prayed
Dear God, Creator of the Universe,
giver of life and remover of pains and sorrows
Thou art most luminous, pure, and adorable,
I meditate on Thee! Lead me in the right direction!!
The divine light, the ray of hope,
made me think of my disability
You were too strong to back off
And I was too weak to fight
To pester you, I found your enemies
and formed an alliance to have an affair
I say good riddance to you,
torturous, slimy, killer monster
I had to discipline myself to avoid being a victim
I must stay alert of your hypnotic charm
I fear even after your death,
you might try to haunt me
But folklore has taught me
Garlic helps to keep the ill spirited away
I fired Butter, a traitor, your helper, only to hire Olive Oil
Giant Oatmeal walked in with simplicity and uttered,
I may not be as charming and tempting as my opponent
However, I will keep you content
I am strong enough to wash him out of your system
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Let me in and adopt a healthy lifestyle

Yes! I said. I must discipline myself
I adapted an active lifestyle to regain my independence
Good riddance, you killer monster, I am free of you now
Today, I live as a happy divorcee
You are too despicable even to be mentioned by your name,
But I am sure everyone knows the denoted
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My Sincere Apology
Horizon bends in a wrapped space dream
A landscape of words wraps in a sleep
Golden butterfly wrestles with the air in a violent fluttering of wings
Retreats and advances, descending from the spectral road,
the home of gravity floats in dreams buoyancy
In the dream,
I feel cold breeze blowing through the open window
I shiver and automatically pull the blanket over my head
A figure slowly turns man from the image
A perfect stranger, seen around but never acquainted
Startled, confused, scared, and wide-awake, I sit up in my bed
I wonder, you stranger, what link you have
in the chain of this unsolved mystery of life
In the still pond, a pebble has been dropped
By the law of Mother Nature, ripples have been born
The water has lost its tranquility, crystal clarity
I want to pick that pebble and toss it away
I want to keep my calm, to stay steady and tranquil
I cherish my chastity
I value my three-fold purity, body, speech, and, mind
That lets me roam guilt free
The next day, when I see you,
I dump it on you, innocent of knowing what I was talking about
I apologize, in the end, for laying all this on you
How selfish of me!
Being a gentleman, you take it well
No harm done, uttered you, shrugging shoulders
The reaction tightens my safety nest
Now, when I run into you,
I am able to look at you, with no guilt involved
I feel you know me
Though you, still, are a stranger to me
However, when I run into you,
my conscience overwhelms me with guilt
To keep my sanity, I burdened you selfishly
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with a matter unknown to you

How I wish life were as simple as mathematical equations
Where two minus two always equals to zero
God, the Creator, is the Master Weaver
Life is a piece of material woven every moment
With all the colorful threads made available by destiny
What color thread are youa victim or a victor!
Life is a string of links strung together in a chain
Every link has its own special space
In the absence of any link, would there be the chain!
Would there be the life!!
As I wonder, I ponder mystery of human heart,
After studying medical science for numerous years,
The so called Physicians describe its shape, count its beat, and
X-ray to find out clots, but
Do they fathom its depth, width, colors, dreams, and mysterious links?
Are these so called learned, sane doctors able to read feelings?
Could they detect cause of insanity, emotion, and passion?
Yesterday, you were a stranger with no strings attached,
Today, you sit in my heart in your own special place
with others who have earned their own place
in their own destined way
Though, still a stranger,
Today, you sit by me in my prayer
With guilt, rather being ashamed of my selfishness,
I pray for your peace and tranquility
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I am
I am torn, confused, scared, and tired
torn between inner enormity and outer limits
confused of not knowing what this is all about and why
scared of these unknown feelings,
and tired of behaving like a child
Thinking that
If I close my eyes tight enough, I wont see it
If I run as speedily, it wont chase me,
Though Im aware of the boundless nature of inner enormity
where the eternal soul is free to soar at its will
in the unclaimed land of unknown
O fragile of me, so caught in the hand of destiny
I cant comprehend
Im afraid of this madness
In my dream on my wings,
I fly to the land of destiny only to sense a smile that reminds,
You are believer of Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram18
If you are afraid of madness, you are afraid of the Truth
Without Truth would you be able to compel your Creator!
To be or not to be is not the question
18
Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram is Truth, God (Love), Beauty, which are considered the driving
force of the universe. An idea encapsulated in an oft-quoted line from the Upanishads said
differently: Beauty is Truth and Truth is God.
Mythological Shiva, among many other notions, is regarded as Vishwanath the Lord of the
Universe. Yet, He is depicted in The Rig Veda as Rudra-Shiva and worshipped for crossing
with ease, Aim of Life. Mostly, Shiva is recognized as a Conqueror of Lust and Desire.
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I Wonder
Knock, knock, I am at my colleagues door
Come in the voice reached my ears
Cant, said I, The lock is on the door
Moments passed, heard the footsteps
The door crack opened
My friend added with a smile
You wouldve kicked the door open wide
No, I wouldnt, dear, come outside
I wonder!
Instead of kicking the door to open wide
If I had a magic wand to move the barrier aside
No violence, but just to perform graceful deeds
Oh Heavenly Father! Would you grant me one, indeed?
I vow to use your graceful gift sparingly!
Only for the good of humanity!!
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I am Afraid!
What I am afraid of!
Oh My Guardian Angel!
I have been a coward throughout my life
Do I need to disclose?
Youre the Seer
You see, read and fathom each of the three worlds
as explicitly as a berry on Your palm
Or do I need to express my gratitude,
for being my Guarding Angel?
For being with me, protecting me,
and guiding me so far in my lifes quest
I remember what I did as a little girl
I walked to school right behind my sister,
thinking if she were to be killed for any reason,
I, too, would go promptly with her for the same reason
I remember seeing you, in my reflection
Youre walking right beside me
With that familiar simper
Whispering, You, Silly Child,
What you are afraid of?
But today again,
I am in an isolated alley looking for you
Encountered by a stranger, I was asked a couple of dollars
He longed to feed his hunger and to quench his thirst
What should I do?
Should I open my wallet?
If I do, is he going to grab my wallet
and flee with my ID and credit card?
Is he going to snatch my car keys to steal my car?
If I confront him, is he going to stab me?
and drive away my car, leaving me in pain?
In fear, I desperately seek you
My eyes are wandering around in wonder
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Have I lost my touch? Have I lost my innocence?

Am I not worthy of your safeguarding?
Has this insane reality crippled my dreaming faculty?
Do you think I watch too many televised news broadcasts?
Oh! My Guardian Angel, forgive my shortcomings
Desperate, I need your guidance, badly
***
Silly! said my Guardian Angel, Look into thy heart!
Use thy intuition! Be thy own judge
Seeing a Unicorn19 would have been a cherished dream, then,
Today, it may be called a hallucination
Unfeigned, I wouldnt like to be a Hallucination
I may not be around, but you need not wander in wonder
Peep deep into thy heart, recognize thy virtue
Have pride in thy piety with no frailty
If you receive a unicorn, caress its horn
However, disclose not thy encounter to cynics
Safeguard thy sanity in this, so called, world of reality
Bow in thy faith and hope for the best!
19
The Unicorns were the most recognizable magic the fairies possessed, and they sent them to
places where belief in magic was in danger. After all there has to be some belief in magichowever small to survive in this mundane world.
On the Top of the World

How am I feeling today?
Today, I am feeling very important
My self-esteem is skyrocketing
My ego is in full bloom
With my achievements, position, status,
With vast possessions of wealth and property,
Certainly, I am the most qualified in the room
My absence is going to create an unfillable hole
With this thought,
I go to see my spiritual guide
He listens to me in silence
With a smirk, he asks for a bucketful of water
Dip your hand in it up to the wrist, he tells,
and pull it out
Complacently, he speaks:
The hole that is left is the measure of
how much you will be missed
While entering, you may splash all you please
and stir up the water galore
He murmurs,
See if it humbles your soul
To end, smiling the spiritual guide says,
It is nice to be important
However, its more important to be nice
I hope you mind this
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In Pursuit of Happiness
Flickers of joy, but followed by sorrow
Why? ---Why? ---Why?
The Seeker20 went to see the Seer
Sire, I heard that you are Jnani21
So I came with a question
Please lead me from Darkness to Ligh22
The Seer smiled mystically,
And asked, What are you seeking, my dear?
The Seeker answered abruptly,
Happiness! I want to be happy
I am in pursuit of happiness
Make me happy! Keep me happy for good!
The Seers face shone with light
With a pacifying smile, he said,
Certainly, my child! Will do, certainly!
Bring me a shirt of a happy man,
I certainly will lead you to eternal happiness
Eternal Happiness, every ones cherished dream!
*****
The Seeker went exploring

in search of a happy man
to acquire the happy mans shirt
to earn his own eternal happiness
He sought him in the city and in the village
Down in the valley and up on the hills
He traveled many a highway,
asked many a passerby, Are you a happy man?
The common response he received:
I am also on a journey
Im too in pursuit just like you,
20
one who is in search of divine knowledge, wisdom

possessor of a divine knowledge, wisdom
22
symbolic meaning from ignorance to knowledge
21
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A lucky few are blessed with a gift of happiness

Then the Seeker met a cowherd standing under a banyan tree,
With his flute, he played a heavenly music
With light breeze blowing and cows and calves grazing around,
the cowherds countenance shone bright
Are you happy? asked the Seeker,
Tell me the reason your face take on this light
Promptly, the cowherd uttered,
Because I am happy!
The Seeker was at rest
He gazed at the cowherds face
Hes ready end his quest fruitfully
in delight, without a moment's pause
The Seeker asked the cowherd
Please hand over your shirt to me
I need it for the Seer,
I am in pursuit of happiness
Dont have one, calmly uttered
the cowherd, with grace
Stunned by the response, with a little breather,
the seeker smiled with content
*****
The Seer welcomed the Seeker, again

Bowing to the Seer, the seeker voiced,
Forgive me my ignorance, my Sire
Thank you for leading me towards Light
Unenlightened, my search was in vain
Still, the adventure evidenced insight
My happiness is within my Divine Self23
Where it has been, all this time
The Seer professed,
23
Divine Self is a soul that recognizes the separation from the body. Divine Self can stand
alone as Whole.
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You identified yourself with the Self24

You are in the state of absolute freedom and bliss
The real happiness is a Divine Bliss, residing within your self
24
Self represents soul.
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Happy Birthday to Dr. Andrew Koli

Written for the occasion to celebrate a family friends 90th birthday
August 2013
We learned that youre ninety; however, age is just a number

You are really much more than just your age
Along with your scholarly professionalism,
you are somebody whos learned what the gift of life is for
As you have treasured dreams and ambitions, values and wealth,
You have equally valued your family and friends
You have proved yourself a role model
and set an example for the next generation
Scriptures state: Your life is Gods gift to you
What you do with your life is your gift to God
You have lived a fruitful long good life
The Lord Almighty certainly has blessed you
And in return, you have honored the Creator
by making others look up to you and say, Hes a good man.
We jovially wish you, Dr. Koli
Happy 90th birthday to you and many more to come
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A Prayer for Baby Rajan

Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Dear Baby Rajan, Im thinking of you,

And this is to remind you
Know that youre thought of every day
And always in a very special way
Here is a special gift for you
Open it and see
Grandmas tight hug and kiss
Hope these make you feel gleeful
I am eager to hear your moms saying,
A sweet manipulator with a big smile,
walking around, trying to get his own way
Thus, you glee me by telling all about it on the phone
Beloved Rajan, today my heart carries a special prayer for you
The prayer keeps replaying in my every awaken moment
May you get well soon; may your recovery be speedy
May you be blessed with health, happiness, and prosperity
Sweet Baby Rajan, get back to your normal self
You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers
Lets keep good thoughts and wish for the best
With love yours,
Grandma
***
Part II
Thursday, on Rajans 2nd birthday
Gratefully, I bow my head to feel the God Almightys presence

I am glad the operation is over
And you rode the crisis with flying colors
And youre back to your normal self
When you come to the phone and say, I want to say Hi
When your mom asks the phone back, your stern answer,
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Mandakini Hiremath
No, this is my phone reminds me of my little girl

who is all grown up now and have four babies of her own
Im glad that your mother is blessed with four lovely children
She has a chance to raise you all and experience the entire emotional gamut
I thank the God Almighty for His blessings and pray that
He graces you with lasting health and happiness and your mother the strength
NOW,
Today, lovely Rajan, I wish you happy birthday

Two-year-olds get all the buzz, labeled as terrible twos
But you are too sweet to be branded as terrible two
Being, as your mom says, you, a sweet manipulator,
If you would call yourself, terrific two, I would love it utterly
Sealed with hug and kiss, my wishes for special you, dear Rajan
I wish and pray that your birthday is filled with affection and blessed by grace
May the happiness you bring to others be yours throughout the year
Have a wonderful birthday; call me; I would love to hear from you
Love,
Grandma
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SECTION II
Seasonal Columns
NEW YEARS
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Mandakini Hiremath
The richest man in the world

Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Many believe that more money would make worried people happy; it
would improve the quality of their lives. If their basic material needs are met,
having more money might be nice, but its not likely to make them happier.
We know from other studies that more Americans were very happy in the
1950s than today despite the fact that now we now have a lot more money,
bigger houses and more stuff. Obviously, greater affluence has not translated
to greater happiness.
Aristotle names happiness as the supreme good for everyone. According to
him, happiness is not just maximization of pleasure. Happiness is a virtue, a
human excellence, a way of living. He writes that virtue is an activity of the
human soul. It involves being a good person. Having a happy life is not
merely a matter of luck or a divine gift. The good is happiness. Socrates, who
lived in poverty, exemplifying his own moral teaching, called for the shoring
up of the ethical dimensions of life with the admonition Know thyself by
exploring the essence of virtue.
As I pondered the philosophers viewpoint, I remembered the story Three
Red Marbles, written in the waning years of the depression by W.E. Petersen
and published in 1975.
While bagging some early potatoes and fresh green peas for the author, Mr.
Miller notices a skinny, small boy in worn-out but clean wear, hungrily
appraising a basket of freshly picked green peas.
Saying Hello, Barry, Mr. Miller enquires about his mothers health.
Fine. Gittin stronger alla time, says Barry. Hearing him say, Jus
admirin them peas,
Mr. Miller asks him if he would like to take some home. No, Sir. Got nuthin
to pay for em with, responds Barry abruptly.
When Mr. Miller asks Barry if he has something to trade, Barry answers,
All I gots my prize marble here. Looking at the marble, Mr. Miller asks
him if he has a red marble at home. Not zackley ... but almost, responds
Barry, so Mr. Miller sends him home with a sack of peas, saying, Next trip
this way, let me look at that red marble.
Mrs. Miller, who has been standing nearby, comes over to help Mr.
Petersen with his bags. Smiling, she says, There are two other boys like him
in our community; all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to
bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes or whatever. When they come
back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesnt like red
after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green or an
orange marble, perhaps.
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Impressed with this man, Mr. Petersen leaves the stand smiling to himself.
A short time later, he moves to Colorado but never forgets the story of this
man, the boys and their bartering.
Several years go by. Mr. Petersen returns to the Idaho community to visit
some of his old friends. While there, he learns that Mr. Miller has died. That
evening his friends go to the wake; he accompanies them, as well.
When they arrive at the funeral parlor, they join the line to meet the
relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort they can. The
author notices ahead of him in line three professional looking young men, one
in an army uniform and the other two in dark suits and white shirts. When
they approach Mrs. Miller, standing by her husbands casket, each of the
young men hugs her, kisses her on the cheek, speaks briefly with her and
moves on to the casket. Each young man, one by one, stops briefly and places
his hand in the casket. Wiping his tears, each leaves the funeral home.
When it is his turn to meet Mrs. Miller, Petersen tells her who he is and
mentions the story she had told him about the marbles. Smiling, Mrs. Miller
takes his hand and leads him to the casket. Those three young men who just
left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated
the things Jim traded them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his
mind about color or size, they came to pay their debt. ... Weve never had a
great deal of the wealth of this world, she confided, but right now, Jim
would consider himself the richest man in Idaho.
When Mrs. Miller softly lifts the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband,
Mr. Petersen sees three shiny red marbles. The three red marbles were Mr.
Millers lifes earnings, the ultimate wealth he would carry with him. This is
one more proof of how life consists not of holding good cards, but in playing
those you hold to win the game of life.
Who even in his wildest fantasy would have guessed that a man lying in a
casket, hiding three red marbles under his lifeless cold hand, could be
reckoned as the richest man in the town and that his wife, smiling, standing
proudly by her dead husbands casket, could consider herself the happiest
woman in the world. The way Mr. Miller earned those marbles makes all the
difference. As Winston Churchill said, We make a living by what we get, but
we make a life by what we give. Its self-evident that a generous heart and
wholesome action lead to a greater happiness.
May the New Year, 2014, bring greater contentment, health and wealth to all.
Here is one among many e-mails I received from the readers:
From: Sadie Jarvis, LPCS, Director of Counseling/ADA
Sent: Monday, January 06, 2014 1:23 PM
Mrs. Hiremath, I truly enjoyed your article that you wrote in The Times & Democrat New
Years column The richest man in the world -- OP/ED New years Day 2014, Wednesday,
January 1, 2014. It made me realize what is really important in our lives. Happy New Year.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Happy New Year, 2010

January 1st, 2010
Man has been in pursuit of happiness since the beginning. However, the
word pursuit is one of the main sources of unhappiness. Some may
convince themselves that life will be better after they secure better-paying
jobs, after they drop those extra 20 pounds, after they find a right person to
marry, after they have children, etc. Happiness always seems to be something
we have to get to rather than something that we create ourselves. We tend to
put our happiness on hold.
Thinking that happiness must be just around the corner, man ceaselessly
keeps on wandering in search of it. On the Wall Street, people in pinstripes
rush madly for money and power. Park Avenue plastic surgeons offices are
jammed with ladies, all hoping the latest potion or procedure will make them
younger looking and therefore, happy. A teenager races to score the most
points to win the MVP trophy. But someone else will always have a bigger
bank account; and as the poets pointed out long ago, beauty fades and trophies
tarnish. Thus, the pursuit for happiness just turns into a never-ending quest.
This endless chase doesnt allow man to slow down or to take a break to
reflect on and realize that what he has been looking for is already in his
possession; therefore, its hard for him to appreciate, feel content and relish
the blessings with gratitude. As philosopher Albert Camus puts it bluntly,
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness
consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
You have already got everything you need to be happy.
As my thoughts lingered, I recalled Dorothy from Kansas and her three
companions the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion and their journey on
the Yellow Brick Road to see the Wizard of Oz.
In the beginning Dorothy Gale is scared and frightened that Miss Gulch
will take Toto away and have him destroyed. When she tries to tell her Auntie
Em, Uncle Henry and the three farmhands about her concerns, none of them
has time for her. Feeling hurt and thinking that no one understands her, she
runs away with Toto. Shortly thereafter, Dorothy is whisked away to Oz in an
unconscious state when the twister hits the Gale farm.
Dorothys companions in the MGM classic film, Wonderful Wizard of Oz,
the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion, each feels he is lacking one of
these virtues, i.e. Scarecrow wants a brain, Tin Man needs a heart, and the
Cowardly Lion longs to be King of the Forest. In a comedic twist of fate, we
see that each of these characters unknowingly has the attribute for which he
is seeking. This is similar to Dorothys inability to recognize the importance
of home until after she runs away and realizes that she always had the power
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Mandakini Hiremath
to go home. Its only after the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion
receive a diploma, a ticking heart clock and a medal of courage, respectively,
from the Wizard that they feel they possess the virtue for which each was
seeking, though the Wizard had already been exposed for not being a wizard
at all!
Quite a few people probably go through life thinking they lack a particular
virtue, though thats not necessarily the case, until someone else tells them,
shows them or gives them some type of testimonial that they truly believe
they had it all along. Remember, from the moment Dorothy lands in
Munchkin land and travels down the yellow brick road to meet the Wizard,
she begins a journey of self-discovery and inner-strength to deal with and
confront her problems. Thus, her journey stands as a classic testimony to
prove that one doesnt need anyone elses recognition or help to feel fulfilled.
Happiness is within our grasp.
The lesson here is realizing what we are blessed with; enjoy it with
gratitude. However, knowing and applying are two different issues.
Application is always difficult. We all want a stamped guarantee for our
future security, though we know that it is unrealistic expectation. A rising cost
of living and rundown economy are making us anxious. However, we must
remember that as normal citizens, we have no control over the circumstances.
All we can do is realize the power of our inner self to keep the calm and
contentedness.
Happiness is a state of mind. Its a process, a journey, not a destination.
There is no better time than the present to be happy. Life is what happens
when you are doing other things. Therefore, enjoy daily experiences; treasure
each moment; be content and happy with your status today and each day.
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Making others happy in 2009

Thursday, January 2, 2009
Let our New Years resolution be making others happy. Be happy! Spread
cheer around. We all can use a little cheer considering the tough economic
times we are in. Its no secret that ordinary American taxpayers are stressed
and are going through extraordinarily difficult times.
Though gas prices are down, food prices have gone up; many have lost
employment; their retirement savings have been reduced. The ordinary middle
class is working harder, making less and paying more. It seems like
nowadays, happiness has become a rare entity. Every bit of cheer will help
ease our lives and lift up our enthusiasm.
It has been intuitively known that one persons happiness is related to
anothers. Happy people make others happy. Our experience proves that,
when shared, happiness is multiplied and sorrow is divided. In addition, new
research from Harvard Medical School and the University of California, San
Diego suggests that happiness is contagious.
The researchers have discovered that happy people in geographic
proximity were most effective in spreading their good cheer. They also found
the happiest people were at the center of large social networks. Happiness
spreads through social networks, sort of like a virus, meaning that your
happiness could influence the happiness of someone else youve never even
met.
Your emotional state depends not just on actions and choices that you
make, but also on actions and choices of other people, said Dr. Nicholas A.
Christakis, a physician and medical sociologist at Harvard, who co-wrote the
study. Thus, if we are to commit making others happy, prior to fulfilling our
commitment, we ourselves must be happy.
As Alfred Tennyson writes in his poem Skylark, We look before and
after and pine for what is not. We cant always get what we want. There is
always a conflict between what we want and what we have. If we give in to
this kind of conflict, we are never going to be happy. Thus, to be happy, we
must develop a habit of living in the moment and appreciating what we have
compared to what we might not have and be happy and content.
Happiness always seems to be something we have to get to rather than
something that we create ourselves. We tend to put our happiness on hold. But
according to Oliver Wendell Holmes, Life is a great bundle of little things,
and Life is what happens when you are doing other things, notes John
Lennon. We must learn to find happiness in every little perk, cherish every
precious moment and appreciate each minute of contentment. Happiness lies
in loving what we do each day.
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Instead of wrangling over the past, and obsessing over couldve, shouldve,
wouldve and ending up miserable, we need to act in the NOW in a positive
way, which helps make our future brighter and more promising.
We should try writing down, during some normal day, events that trigger a
happy feeling. Then when our day turns sour, we can look back at our journal
entry and realize that even on a bad day, something that makes us happy did
occur and just linger on those happy thoughts. Thus, being perked up with
positive thought, we will be able to amend our day into positive one. We
should learn to listen and be positive. Negativity makes one depressive,
distraught, and rather unhappy. We must decide ourselves that we want to be
happy. Happiness is the breeding ground of opportunities. A happy mindset
helps us believe in and hope for better tomorrows.
Therefore, we should be positive and keep the company of positive people
when possible.
Be happy! Spread cheer around to make others happy. Nature is naturally
equipped for lifting our spirits. All we need to do is lift our heads up to look
into the sky. It may seem cloudy for the moment, but every cloud may have a
silver lining. Wise people have told us that tough times dont last, tough
people do. Better days are ahead of us. Lets look forward to a happy, healthy,
and prosperous new year, 2009.
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Happy New Year, 2008

Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Each January, we wish each other, Happy new year, when we meet for
the first time. Man has been searching for happiness since the beginning,
unequivocally. Everyones goal in life is to be happy.
However, theres been no agreement in defining happiness, which we
each define from his or her point of view. The concept of happiness has been
as unique and puzzling as the nature of the universe itself. We reflect on the
source of happiness and ask if more money could make us happier. The
answer to this query can be as various as human natures. Here are a few
examples to consider if making more money would shape someones lifestyle
differently.
I was amazed to learn about the sea gypsies of the Andaman Sea, their
beliefs, lifestyle and unique culture. The sea gypsies, who call themselves
Moken, have lived for hundreds of years on the islands off the coast of
Thailand and Burma. They are, of all the peoples of the world, among the
least touched by modern civilization.
Theyre born on the sea; they live and die on the sea. They are nomads,
constantly moving from island to island, living more than six months a year
on their boats. At low tide, they collect sea cucumbers and catch eels; at high
tide, they dive for shellfish. Theyve been living this way for so many
generations that theyve truly become sea urchins.
The Moken dont know how old they are because for them time is not the
same concept that we have. When doesnt exist in Moken language. Want
is another one. There is also no word for take. The fact is the Moken want
very little. What they want is not to accumulate anything. Baggage is not good
for nomadic people. It ties them down. They have neither the notion nor the
desire for wealth.
In addition, the Moken have no words like goodbye or hello. And
there are no greetings. Watching 60 Minutes, I noticed the Moken didnt seem
terribly excited when a flotilla from Burma dropped by. Visits from relatives
happen all the time. And since there is no belief of time, it doesnt matter if
the last visit was a week ago or years ago.
The problem the Moken are facing is that the Burmese have turned some of
their islands into military bases. And the Thais are having them make trinkets
for tourists, a trend that could ultimately threaten their way of life far more
than any number of tsunamis. But the Moken dont seem terribly worried by
all this. Perhaps thats because worry is just one more of those words that
does not exist in their language.
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One might wonder if Moken have natural feelings. Evidently, they do.
Pictures show Moken crying on the beach and then fleeing toward higher
ground long before the first wave of the tsunami struck. Considering that they
escaped without casualties, perhaps they were crying from realizing what bad
would happen to the unprepared. The Moken warned other people around of
the hazard; though skeptical, some of the tourists climbed with the Moken to
higher ground and were saved.
However, the Moken consider themselves neither lucky because they
survived nor unlucky because theres nothing left in their village. Taking it
just as a matter of fact, they got busy rebuilding their boats and their lives.
In contrast, here is the worlds largest privately owned yacht, The Maltese
Falcon, the size of a typical football field. Inside, there are two 1,800horsepower engines, 11,000 square feet of living space, and a crew of 20,
including a gourmet chef and a team of stewards and stewardesses.
The owner of the yacht is Tom Perkins, who has an engineering degree
from MIT and an MBA from Harvard Business School. He made his name
and fortune in venture capitalism, which he chronicles in his memoir, Valley
Boy: The Education of Tom Perkins, which is known as a candid account of
his life. It chronicles his second marriage to romance novelist Danielle Steel,
his manslaughter conviction in a boating accident in France, and the deals that
made him so wealthy starting with the first biotech company, Genentech in
San Francisco. Genentechs success led Perkinss initial investment of
$250,000 to soar 800-fold, to $200 million.
In addition to his one-of-a-kind mega-yacht, Mr. Perkins owns the worlds
best and most expensive sports car collection, a second yacht, a 900-year-old,
moated estate in England, and he is seeking his very own sports submarine,
which hell park on the forward deck of the Maltese Falcon. When 60 Minutes
correspondent Lesley Stahl asked him, So you do like to show off?, Perkins
responded, Guilty as charged.
An only child, Perkins grew up during the Depression, which he says
devastated his father and distorted his mothers priorities. My mother wanted
things in life that my father couldnt provide. The fact that we didnt have
any money, justifies Perkins. So he cares about money, and he likes to spend
it for his pleasure. If you got it, flaunt it is his style.
From my previous columns, you may remember Secret Santa Larry
Stewart gave away anonymously more than a million dollars in cash to the
needy and distraught and Hal Taussig, who lived frugally so that hed save
more money to give away. Both gentlemen found their happiness, not through
self-gratification, in fidelity to worthy purpose in making others happy
through their philanthropy.
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Now, I wonder if making more money is going to make any difference to

the above-mentioned fellows. Maybe more money would enable Mr. Perkins
to find another toy to fulfill his fantasy and Taussig and Stewart to contribute
more to his charity; however, I doubt if money would mean anything to a
Moken with their culture, belief and lifestyle.
The object of happiness may differ according to a persons needs,
expectations and thinking. For some, making more money may bring
happiness, although there are noteworthy examples to the contrary: Socrates
lived in poverty, exemplifying his own moral teachings. Gautama Buddha,
born a prince of the Sakyas on the India-Nepal border, renounced his princely
life. Learning about lifes misery by encountering an old man, a sick man, and
a corpse, he left the palace to seek happiness. So he spent years in hardship,
trying various ascetic practices. Finally, while meditating under the Bodhi
tree, he realized four noble truths, achieved enlightenment and preached his
first sermon to his companions at Sarnath.
Now, we know that we are neither Socrates nor Buddha. There are indeed
circumstances under which more money will bring happiness. If one is living
in poverty, money will make a huge positive difference in his quality of life,
and an improved quality of life will make him happier. Otherwise, if ones
basic needs are met, money should not be the yardstick used to measure
happiness.
Finding happiness is like finding our self. One finds happiness by
knowing what makes him or her happy. Self-actualization is a process of
discovering who we are, who we want to be and paving the way to happiness
by doing what brings us the most meaning and contentment to our life over
the long run.
May our new year be happy, healthy, and prosperous.
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Call it New Days resolution

Sunday, January 20, 2008
New Years is the only holiday that celebrates the passage of time. This is
a time for reflection, new beginnings, new dreams, hopes and expectations, as
well as celebration.
New Years Eve is the perfect time to contemplate the year that has passed
by to reflect on the happy or not-so-happy occasions, successes, as well as
failures. As the final seconds tick away, we become introspective. Inevitably,
those thoughts of introspection turn to thoughts of self-improvement and the
annual ritual of making New Years resolutions. New Years resolutions, if
successfully fulfilled, are the first of many important tools for remaking
ourselves.
Many of us know that we havent been successful in accomplishing our
resolutions. Lets keep in mind that those who stay the course and fulfill their
resolutions passionately believe in their ability to change. They do not indulge
in self-blame or excuse making. And avoid wishful thinking. Instead, they
concentrate on results, and understand their motivations and reasons why the
resolution is important. There are two main reasons for failing to accomplish
our resolutions; first, the expectations were ridiculously high, and second,
they were considered a yearlong commitment. Therefore, to avoid pitfalls, we
need to be clear on what we want to achieve and set our goals accordingly.
Suppose, for instance, you make a simple resolution: I am going to be
happy. You dont need to promise to keep up with your resolution all year
long; its good enough if you find that you can do it today. Lets call it a New
Days resolution, instead of a New Years resolution. Each day is a new
day. If you dont fulfill your commitment today, take one day at a time and try
to fulfill it tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.
Now, if youre going to be happy, you need to cheer yourself, and there is
no better way of cheering yourself than by cheering others. As Albert Camus
stated, But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and
the life he leads. If youre going to cheer others, you yourself must be in a
mood of feeling good and looking good. If you yourself are grumpy and not
feeling good, perhaps thinking that youre not looking good, you cant
possibly cheer up others, for you yourself are not cheerful. In order to keep
your resolution and keep yourself cheerful, you should take care of your
health by eating a healthy diet and exercising to stay fit. You now will look
and feel good physically. When youre trim and fit, with heightened selfrespect and confidence, youre going to like yourself. If you like yourself,
youll be in a cheerful mood and then, naturally, prepared to cheer others. If
you cheer others, manifold cheer is returned to you. The result will bring
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tranquility to your mind and help you relax, always in a happy mood. This
cheerful attitude of yours is going to prepare you to get along and work well
with others. This calorie-free, zero-cholesterol treat is going to keep you
constantly elevated, without gaining weight, and will help you sleep well at
night. In addition, losing weight may be a bonus as you enjoy the luxury of a
good nights sleep, since research reveals sleep deprivation is a cause of
obesity.
The moment you fail to cheer others, you will realize the failure, keep
looking for the next person to cheer him or her up by smiling, greeting,
complimenting, getting a door for that person, or helping carry a package or
just by spreading goodwill and positive vibes out of your good heart. This is a
win/win strategy. Happiness is like a perfume; you cant sprinkle it on others
without having a few drops sprinkled on you.
Thus each New Days resolution of making ourselves happy by cheering
others will turn into a weeks, a months and thus eventually leading us
toward a years resolution. Ultimately, well succeed in accomplishing it and
be happy by making others happy.
What is good about the dawn of a new year is that it gives us an incentive
to start again, to discard the bad habits of the bygone year and begin afresh.
Our new efforts in avoiding and overcoming ill habits will help us develop
and maintain healthy coping mechanisms with greater kindness in challenging
situations. Thus, New Years resolutions are all about mental and physical
health. Its about that wise voice within that knows whats best, urging us
onward, and it is this voice we should learn to listen to all the time, not just at
the turning of the year.
Make a New Days resolution. Lets not forget Edwin C. Bliss inspiring,
empowering and motivating quote that leads us to live the life of our dreams
and become the person we always want to be: Yesterday is a canceled check:
Forget it. Tomorrow is a promissory note: Dont count on it. Today is ready
cash: Use it.
Each day, let us wish each other the very best of health and happiness.
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Let the waves go over

February 10th, 2007
One late afternoon over the past weekend, I received a rather desperate
sounding telephone call from one of my friends. Here I go again! A month
has passed, but Ive not been able to keep up with my resolution even for a
day, she grumbled. She mentioned her resolution was to wake up early
morning on New Years Day and go for a walk in order to feel the first rays of
sunshine on her face. The others were to avoid overeating and to exercise
each day to stay healthy and fit. Instead, she overslept on New Years Day,
and had not been able to keep the other resolutions either. When I asked her
what she had been doing since New Years Day, she told me that she and her
family had traveled, visiting their friends and relatives, for about three weeks.
Forget about exercise. I pigged out at every chance and overslept, she added
in desperation.
Some believe that the way they spend New Year's Day is the way they will
spend the rest of the year, so I could empathize with her disappointment, as
she had failed in fulfilling her first resolution. However, I tried to give her
solace by explaining how difficult it is to stay on track with our goals when
traveling and when other family members are around. In addition, its difficult
for anyone to keep up with diet plans while visiting friends and relatives, since
guests are treated to and entertained with a variety of delicious foods. Being
rigid on these occasions is not going to make anyone likable. Chances are that
the person who refuses to consume culinary treats on these occasions will be
singled out as a snob or called a party poop. She was right to enjoy the
party atmosphere and splurge a little. Now, since you are back at home, get
your exercise and diet regimen back on track. Its never too late. Dont give
up, I encouraged her.
It seems as though diet and exercise have become a constant conscious
battle. Following the desired regimen has always been a challenge. But we
must determine to win the war, not every battle. We have indulged in
overeating and finding all sorts of excuses for not exercising far too long to
make them disappear overnight from our lives. We need to have a realistic
attitude as we try to eradicate unhealthy habits in order to adopt a healthy
lifestyle.
Although time and again we are told, If you are healthy, your family will
be well cared for, so make your health a priority, its not easy to follow that
advice. The moment were needed, we naturally rush to help, without caring
about our health or needs. Its just not easy to stick to our new years
resolutions.
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However, that doesnt mean we should quit making resolutions or give up

trying to keep them. On New Years Eve many of us commit to run a race to
catch our dreams and make them a reality; frequently New Years Day finds
us in eerie midsummer stillness again. The race is not to the swift, writes D.
H. Lawrence, but to those who can stand still / and let the waves go over
them.
Why reach for one extreme or the other, either to accomplish or to give up?
Why not compromise a little and form resolutions that fall between both
extremes. So if you fail to wake up early on New Years Day to go for a walk
to feel the first rays of sunshine on your face, do it tomorrow. Each day is a
new day; the sun will rise again. If you dont fulfill a commitment today, take
one day at a time and try to fulfill it tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.
Each day is a new day, a new beginning, a new gift, a second chance given to
us to make amends. Therefore, best of luck on our new years dreams, hopes,
expectations and our efforts to bring them to fruition.
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May New Year be filled with bliss

Saturday, December 30, 2006
The New Years tradition of wishing people Happy New Year, made my
son Mayur, then about four years old, ask me, Why do we have to keep
wishing each other repeatedly, Good morning, Good afternoon, Good
evening, Good night, Good day, Happy Friday, Happy holiday, Happy
new year etc.? And I remember answering him quickly, Because happiness
is neither predicted nor destined. We have to make the best of each moment
we get by sending good vibes to each other.
Aristotle names happiness as a supreme good for everyone. He thinks
happiness is a sort of virtue, a human excellence, a way of living and believes
having a happy life is not merely a matter of luck or divine gift. Happiness is
pursued for its own sake. It is not just the maximization of pleasure. It
involves being a good person and being relatively immune from bad fortune.
However, definitely, there are aspects that are out of our own control.
Happiness is not a destination so that when one reaches it, he can stay there
for good. Happiness is a journey, a process. No one knows how long or shortlived its going to be. The most recent example of how mankind experienced
two extreme ends, being happiest and then saddest, within 24 hours, has made
many of us exclaim, What a difference a day can make! London was
cheering and celebrating to its hearts content on the July 6, 2005 as it was
announced as the host city of the 2012 Olympic Games. And the very next
day as the Prime Minister Tony Blair was proudly hosting the prestigious G8
Summit, a meeting about tackling global climate change with renowned
leaders of world and the heads of the international organizations, in
Gleneagles, the news broadcast and the shocking scenes about the terrorists
attack in London were being televised.
What an irony of fate! London had two of its best and worst days back to
back. This alone exemplifies the uncertain nature of happiness, which can be
as fleeting as a dew drop on a mountain, the foam on a river, or a bubble on a
fountain.
Everyone wants to be happy. Everyone dreams about being happy.
Everyone lives to be happy. However, happiness always seems to be
something we have to get to rather than what we create ourselves. For
instance, some may convince themselves that life will be better after they get
married, after they have children, and so on. Then they will live happily
ever after. We tend to put our happiness on hold. But, according to Oliver
Wendell Holms, Life is a great bundle of little things, and Life is what
happens when you are doing other things, notes John Lennon.
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There is a legend about a fisherman called Aaron, who lived on the banks
of a river. Walking home with his eyes half-closed one evening after a hard
day's work, Aaron was dreaming of what he could do if he were rich. As he
walked, he stumbled on a leather pouch filled with what seemed to him to be
small stones. Absentmindedly he picked up the pouch and began throwing the
pebbles into the water. When I am a rich man, he said to himself, I'll have
a large house. And he threw another pebble into the river. He threw another
one and mumbled, My wife and I will have servants and rich food, and many
fine things. And this went on until just one stone was left. As Aaron held the
last stone in his hand, a ray of light caught it and made it sparkle. He then
realized that it was a valuable gem. He had been throwing away the real riches
he had in his hand while dreaming of unreal riches in the future. Aaron
exemplifies us who have joined the rat-race in the pursuit of happiness.
The irony is, there is no ever after, when it comes to happiness. The idea
of being happy after a certain stage is illusive. There is no guarantee of
tomorrow. Aristotle writes that the end of life is happiness. We act for the
sake of an end. Virtually everything we do is done in order to achieve a
particular end. Yesterdays happiness, pains, sorrows, regrets, love, hate are
all in the past, dead; and promise for tomorrows happiness is uncertain.
Therefore, instead of chasing the end (happiness) until the end, do as Charles
Dickens advises, Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man
has plenty. What about cherishing every precious moment and being happy
in the process. Happiness lies in loving what you do each day. Doing what we
love will make us happy but loving what we do will bring us bliss. And
bliss, as defined by the American Heritage College Dictionary, is extreme
happiness, ecstasy. Lets learn to love what we do each day and try our best
to achieve what we want and be content in the end. Being content is longlasting than being happy.
There is no better time than the present to be happy. Therefore, remembering
the fleeting nature of happiness, we must learn to enjoy daily experiences,
treasure each moment, be content and happy with our status today.
In this context, let us not forget one of the most inspiring, and empowering
quotes that leads us to live the life of our dreams of being happy, since theres
no guarantee of tomorrow: Yesterday is a canceled check: Forget it.
Tomorrow is a promissory note: Dont count on it. Today is ready cash: Use
it. Edwin C. Bliss.
Happy New Year to all of us.
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Happiness put on hold

Thursday, January 5, 2006
Each January, we wish each other, Happy New Year, when we meet for
the first time. The word happy reminds me of 1994s New Years Eve gettogether. As we were mingling, conversing, tasting a variety of delicious food
and enjoying the social occasion, all of sudden a family friend asked my son,
Mayur, a high school senior, What do you want to be? Curiously, I turned
around, for I too, wanted to hear the answer. With a smile, my son calmly
answered, Uncle, I want to be happy!
Everyones goal in life is to be happy. According to Alexander Pope,
happiness is that something still we bear to live and dare to die. The object
of happiness may differ according to a persons needs, expectations, and
thinking. For some, making more money may bring happiness, although there
are noteworthy examples to the contrary: Socrates lived in poverty,
exemplifying his own moral teachings. Buddha, referred to as Buddha
Gautama, born a prince of the Sakyas on the India-Nepal border, renounced
his princely life when he left the palace to seek happiness and encountered an
old man, a sick man, and a corpse. He spent years in hardship, trying various
ascetic practices. Finally, while meditating under the Bodhi tree, he realized
four noble truths, achieved enlightenment and preached his first sermon to his
companions at Sarnath.
But we know that we are neither Socrates nor Buddha. There are
circumstances under which more money will bring happiness. If one is living
in poverty, money will make a huge positive difference in his quality of life,
and an improved quality of life will make him happier. But if ones basic
needs are met, money should not be the object used to measure happiness.
Some may convince themselves that life will be better after they get
married, after they have children, after the children are out of diapers, after the
children leave their crazy teenage stage. Happiness always seems to be
something we have to get to rather than something that we create ourselves.
We tend to put our happiness on hold. But, according to Oliver Wendell
Holmes, Life is a great bundle of little things, and Life is what happens
when you are doing other things, notes John Lennon. The idea of being
happy after a certain stage is illusive, and there is no guarantee. Aristotle
writes that the end of life is happiness. We act for the sake of an end. Virtually
everything we do is done in order to achieve a particular end.
However, instead of waiting to achieve that end (happiness) until the end,
what about cherishing every precious moment and being happy in the process.
Happiness lies in loving what we do each day. Doing what we love will make
us happy, but loving what we do will bring us bliss. And bliss, as defined by
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the American Heritage College Dictionary, is extreme happiness, ecstasy.

Let us learn to love what we do each day.
There is no better time than the present to be happy. Therefore, enjoy daily
experiences; treasure each moment; be content and happy with your status
today. If you are raising a child, cherish each moment and be grateful for the
opportunity to parent the child, to rock his cradle, to lend him your hand when
he trips while taking his baby steps, stares into your eyes helplessly with tiny
arms stretched, and giggles and hugs you tightly when you hold him in your
arms. Raise a child with pride and joy instead of trying to see the person the
child might become; be a friend to a friendless person; perform an act of
kindness for no other reason than to make someone else happy. There is a
simple harmony between a man and the life that he leads. It comes from
within. Happiness is like a perfume; you cant sprinkle it on others without
having a few drops sprinkled on you.
J. N. Barker states, How cheap is genuine happiness and yet how dearly
do we all pay for its base counterfeit! We fancy wants, which, to supply, we
dare danger and death enduring the privation of all free nature offers in her
bounty.
Happy New Year to all of us.
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Today, ready cash

January 1st, 2005
The Christmas music that played so joyfully for weeks has been silenced;
the stocking that were hung carefully by the chimney with the hope that they
would be filled by a joyful Santa with all the hoped-for goodies have been
packed away for another year. This is New Years Eve, time to reminisce,
cheer our successes, ache for our failures and disappointments, and plan for a
better new year.
New Years Day is the time to make resolutions in anticipation of a better
new year. Get into shape, be more organized, make time to spend with loved
ones, and so onthese are some common concerns that top the list. Do you
ever wonder why many of us are so conscious of our shapes and looks at the
beginning of each new year? Maybe it is the added holiday pounds, cabin
fever, and the thought of the more-revealing look of warm-weather clothes
that propel hordes of people to the gym and aerobic classes. The problem, as
so many have experienced, is sticking with the program for even for a month.
We should be concerned more with our health than our appearance and
plan to stick to a healthy diet instead of going on a diet. The problem is not
always what we eat; frequently it is how and how much we eat. Pamela Peeke,
an assistant professor of medicine at the University School of Medicine,
writes, Dieting is one of the most psychologically stressful things a person
can do. And stress leads to abnormal cravings, decreased metabolism, and
lack of energy, which causes us to be less active. Then the whole pattern turns
into a vicious cycle. Professor Peekes core idea concerns the relationship
between stress and fat accumulation. Nutritionists recommend that we keep
our diets as healthy as possible, take a little time out of our hectic schedules to
eat our meals slowly rather than devouring them in a rush on the run or while
working at the computer, and divide our food into small portions and eat three
meals and two snacks a day. (I am not, however, sure whether or not it is
possible to do so.) Moderation is the key word here. In addition, we must try
hard to keep stress under control by practicing deep breathing and utilize
every opportunity to exercise by taking the stairs instead of the elevator, to
walk briskly when running errands, and to stretch as much as possible while
accomplishing our daily tasks.
When I asked my about eight-year-old son to clean up his room, he said to
me, Why bother, Mommy? Its going to be messed up again any way. I
remember telling him then, Why take a shower if you are going to feel dirty
again, and why eat if you are going to get hungry again. Finally, my son
graciously agreed, You made your point, Mom. Being organized is a
constant ongoing effort. It helps us to use our time productively, which keeps
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us content and, as a result, in a good mood. We just have to try hard to make a
habit of staying organized, keeping in mind that old habits die hard.
Spending more time with loved ones is equally difficult when every minute
is being counted and the pressures of demands on us make us feel that we are
becoming human machines. We are trapped in this vicious cycle. There is no
way out of it if we want to keep up and at the same time compete with others.
We need to keep in mind that quality, rather than quantity, is important when
it comes to spending time with our loved ones.
Failure to keep up with long-term commitments may weigh us down with
guilt, ultimately leading to depression. Therefore, let our resolution for the
new year be to take one day at a time. As D. H. Lawrence writes, The race is
not to the swift but to those that can stand still / and let the waves go over
them. Why always reach for one extreme or the other, either to accomplish
or to give up? Why not compromise a little in order to form resolutions that
fall between both extremes. If we cant do it today, we should start tomorrow
with a new attitude, new efforts, and new hope. If we dont fulfill a
commitment today, we should try to fulfill it tomorrow. Every day is a new
day, a new beginning, a new gift, and a second chance given to us to make
amends, so we should seize it and make the best of the opportunity.
Lets not forget one of the most inspiring, empowering, and motivating
quotes that leads us to live the life of our dreams and become the person we
always want to be: Yesterday is a cancelled check: Forget it. Tomorrow is
a promissory note: Dont count on it. Today is ready cash: Use it.Edwin
C. Bliss.
Thus, I wish you the best of luck on your new years dreams, hopes, and
expectations and in your efforts to bring them to fruition by making them each
days resolution.
Happy Leap Year to all of us.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Best of luck on resolutions

Wednesday, January 1, 2003
What is a new year without resolutions? How realistic is it to think that we

will completely succeed in accomplishing all of them? Then why bother to
make resolutions if many of us are not able to keep up with them?
Before reaching this conclusion, I hope we all consider this friendly
suggestion.
First of all, let us think why it is so hard for us to keep up with our
resolutions. If we think resolutions such as losing weight by running six miles
a day, or by deciding not to eat dessert ever again, are humanly possible,
nothing can be further from truth.
The main reason for failure lies in unrealistic expectations. The most
common resolution for many of us is to lose weight. Therefore, why we
should not make realistic efforts to lose weight by walking, taking the stairs
instead of the elevators, and stretching as much as possible while
accomplishing our daily tasks. Secondly, when it comes to dieting, Pamela
Peeke, an assistant professor of medicine at the University of Maryland
School of Medicine, writes, Dieting is one of the most psychologically
stressful things a person can do. And stress leads to abnormal cravings,
decreased metabolism, and lack of energy, which causes us to be less active.
Then this whole pattern turns into a vicious cycle. Professor Peeke's core idea
concerns the relationship between stress and fat accumulation.
Instead of making outrageous resolutions, such as not eating dessert ever
again, how about deciding to keep our diets as healthy as possible, taking a
little time out of our hectic schedules to eat our meals slowly rather than
devouring them in a rush on the run or while working at the computer, and
dividing our food, in small portions, into three meals and two snacks a day.
(This is what nutritionists recommend. I am not, however, sure whether or not
it is possible to do so.) The problem is not always what we eat, but how and
how much we eat. Moderation is the key word here. In addition, we must try
hard to keep stress under control by practicing deep breathing, laughing more
often, and taking a little time to smile and say Hello! to everyone we run
into. I think these resolutions are both realistic and manageable.
September 11, 2001, when terrorists crashed passenger planes into the
Twin Towers in New York and into the Pentagon in Washington, was a day of
infamy, a day of annihilation of human innocence and trust. Many compare
the tragic events of the day to Pearl Harbor, Japan's surprise attack on the U.S.
Pacific fleet on Dec. 7, 1941. The terror did not stop after the 9/11 attacks;
what followed were additional objects of terror: anthrax, the smallpox virus,
the shoe bomber, suicide bombers and the possibility of dirty bomb and
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biochemical attacks. All have created quite a stir. Therefore, this is a special
time to re-examine our beliefs and our emotional ties to strengthen our faith.
After having such close contact with mortality, lets try to keep our
resolutions simple and spiritual instead of purely mundane. How about
commit ourselves to take a moment every day to appreciate what we have and
say, Thank you!
On New Year's Eve many of us commit to run a race to catch our dreams
and to make them a reality, but frequently New Year's Day finds us in eerie
midsummer stillness again. The race is not to the swift, writes D.H.
Lawrence, but to those that can stand still/and let the waves go over them.
Why always reach for one extreme or the other, either to accomplish or to
give up? Why not compromise a little and form resolutions that fall in
between both extremes. If we can't do it today, start tomorrow with fresh
attitudes, efforts and hopes. If we don't fulfill a commitment today, take one
day at a time and try to fulfill it tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow. Every
day is a new day, a new beginning, a new gift, and a second chance given to
us to make amends. Therefore, let us wish the best of luck to each other on our
new year's dreams, hopes, expectations, and on our efforts in bringing them to
fruition.
VALENTINES DAY COLUMNS
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Valentine's Day: No need to fret

February 14 may bring to anyone images of roses, chocolates, cute and

cuddly stuffed animals, and dining out in a fancy restaurant, but it takes me
about 2-1/2 decades back. We were living on the University of Arkansas at
Fayetteville campus. That afternoon my husband walked in with a bunch of
mathematics professors. While they were discussing departmental issues, I
went into the kitchen to prepare tea for the guests. As my husband was about
to carry the tray out, the phone rang. The call was for one of the professors.
As they were about to have tea, the second call came in; it was for the same
person. Soon another call came for him. Noticing that my husband was
becoming a little anxious, his colleagues laughed heartily. One of them asked
the recipient of those calls, "Are your buddies calling to remind you not to go
home empty-handed unless you don't mind spending the night on the couch?''
Being born and raised in a culture in which the custom of arranged marriages
is the norm and love between a married couple is assumed, I found it a little
too extreme on his wife's part.
Of course, I find the observance of Valentine's Day very romantic,
providing a little boost to the everyday monotonous routine, a chance to
assure your loved ones of your intimate feelings. A husband bringing candy,
flowers and gifts would provide a romantic thrill, but not if someone has to
remind him.
One of the many legends behind Valentine's Day concerns Emperor
Claudius II, who was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns in
the third century A.D. He experienced difficulty getting soldiers to join his
military leagues, for, he believed, the young Romans didn't want to leave their
loved ones and families behind. Therefore, he prohibited all marriages and
engagements in Rome. St. Valentine was a priest during this period. He kindly
wed lovelorn couples in secrecy. When he was caught and jailed, he met the
jailor's blind daughter and fell in love with her. He sent her a note before he
was martyred, signing it ''Your Valentine,'' which is how the famous phrase
originated. In 498 A.D., Pope Gelasius declared Feb. 14 Saint Valentine's
Day, a day for romance.
The observance of Valentine's Day is getting too commercial to afford pure
enjoyment of it. As soon as Christmas is over, stores are filled with red and
pink boxes of candy, flowers, heart-shaped balloons, stuffed animals holding
red hearts and jewelry. All this may very well result in stress for romantically
involved couples as they try to make this day perfect; wistfulness for those
who are single, even those who are perfectly content to be single; and
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insecurity and risky behavior for young adults who are desperately trying to
find a match.
Another legend holds that in ancient Rome, on the eve of Valentine's Day,
the name of each young lady was placed in a vase and each young man drew a
lady's name. For the remainder of the year, the two stayed valentines and
exchanged gifts. Even today, in some high schools, a popular fund-raiser for
student groups is Data Match, a voluntary survey. This computerized
determination is based on responses to questions about hair color, height, age,
favorite activities, curfew time and favorite desserts. Then the list is made
available for sale. Some buy the list of the names of students of the opposite
sex with whom they are supposedly compatible, and others try to find a match
on the Internet, overlooking the risks of date rape and sexually transmitted
diseases.
What everyone needs to remember is that Valentine's Day is not just for
couples and so there is no need to fret. It is a holiday to spend with the people
you love. It does not have to be just your sweetheart; it may be your best
friend, mother, father, sibling or someone else who may not be related to you.
If you have a sweetheart, that is well and good. If not, spend your Valentine's
Day making the people you care about feel special. Before the end of the day,
make sure that you take time to let them know you care, how special they are,
and how much they mean to you. By doing this, certainly, you will feel
content and happy.
Happy Valentine's Day to all of us!
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Wildest woe and sweetest joy

Valentines Day another holidaySanta coming down the chimney,

again? My, then eighteen month old granddaughter curiously interrupted, as
she heard a group of us talking. No honey! Its not all jolly, joy, and
presents; instead, its all pain and torture, endurance and survival, one among
the group murmured.
Valentines Day is a very special day, a time for thoughts of romance and
love, tender and soft reflections; expressions of warmth, poetry and music;
hearts, flowers, and candlelight. However, we all know that the heart is not
shielded from ache and a romantic bed of roses is not free of thorns. As
Robert Louis Stevenson queries in a cynical moment,
LOVEwhat is love?
A great and aching heart;
Wrung hands; and silence; and a long despair
Lifewhat is life?
Upon moorland bear
To see love coming and see love depart
Time and again, we have been cautioned: Love has nothing to offer but
pain.The course of true love never runs smooth. Falling in love and feeling
great and blessed when it works; and when it doesnt work, feeling despair
and disappointed and declaring not to tread that path ever again. This has been
the way of the world.
However, has anyone ever overcome this so called noblest frailty of
mind? As Alexander Pope himself declares, Love is sole disease thou canst
not cure. And Shakespeare, after ranking, The lunatic, the lover and the poet
are of imaginations all compact, confesses in Midsummer Nights Dream,
Love is merely madness; and I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a
whip, as madmen do; and the reason why they are not so punished and cured
is that the lunacy is so ordinary that the whippers are in love too.
Love, is such a powerful feeling that mesmerizes one magically into
dreams of joy, hope and happiness. "Love is the flower of life, and blossoms
unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and
enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration," professes D. H. Lawrence.
Whereas, Buckingham declares, Love is salt of life; a higher taste. It gives
pleasure and then makes it last. And Lord Alfred Tennyson adds, It is better
to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Have you ever wondered how each couple in a fairy tale, like Cinderella,
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, or Beauty and the Beast ends in wedding,
and all live happily ever after? Without any opportunity to peek into everyday
lives that are destined to be filled with trials and tribulations, poverty and
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sickness, desires, passions, and misunderstandings, we are asked to believe

unrealistically, They live happily ever after! No wonder! These are fairy
tales!! Now, we all know that love is not all about roses, chocolate, cute and
cuddly stuffed animals, and dining out in a fancy restaurant. Real love is the
one that survives all the trials and tribulations and stands firmly the test of
time. I am rather infatuated by the stories of couples who have survived all
the challenges and stood together unshaken, and preserved the sanctity of their
wedding vows, regardless. In this context, I salute couples like Ronald and
Nancy Reagan.
Ronald and Nancy have survived their 52 years of marriage which has
been definitely for better or for worse in sickness and in healthuntil death
us to part. Ronald Reagan, now 93, is suffering from the advanced stages of
Alzheimer. President Reagans letter, which Nancy calls a typical Ronnie
letter was written as they were to retire in their California ranch, begins,
My Fellow Americans, I have recently been told that I am one of the
millions of Americans who will be afflicted with Alzheimers
disease. He continues, Unfortunately, as Alzheimers disease
progresses, the family often bears a heavy burden. I only wish there
was some way I could spare Nancy from this painful experience.
When the time comes I am confident with your help, she will face it
with faith and courage.
Letters from Ronald Reagan, Hollywood actor, California governor, and
the United States President, display his knack for incorporating his
experience into a universal message and explaining complicated matters in
simple ways. They are the evidentiary documents that shed light on his
character and temperament and carry the torch to show Americans that Nancy,
now 83, was truly the light of his life, though now he may not remember that
he loved Nancy with all his heart.
I admire Nancy Reagans faith and courage. There is nothing more painful
than watching your own loved one slowly deteriorating each day to death.
May God bless them and give Nancy strength to carry on the saga.
As Shakespeare wishes in Midsummer Nights Dream: Sweet friends may
thy love neer alter till thy sweet life end! Love may be the wildest woe,
but it is the sweetest joy. Though tainted with earth, it has the scent of heaven
in it.
Happy Valentines Day to all of us.
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Beautiful torture, loving nightmare

Valentines Day, 2005
February 14 is a special day, a time for thoughts of romance and love,

tender and soft reflections, expressions of warmth, poetry and music, hearts,
flowers and candlelight.
This is the time when a lady love hopes her heartthrob honors and fulfills
her heart's desire by confessing his undying love and she hopes that the love is
not just "until death us do part," but endures even after death, like the love of
the supremely gifted minstrel, Orpheus, the Mogul King Shahjahan or Troilus.
Orpheus successfully rescued Eurydice from the Underworld, but by turning
around to look at her, he lost her again at the last moment. Orpheus reflected
his suffering over the loss of his beloved wife through his music. Refusing the
love of other women, he wandered despondent through the woods. Hurt and
angered by unrequited love, the women tore Orpheus to pieces and tossed his
head along with his lyre into the river. Still singing out the name of Eurydice,
his head floated out to sea. Orpheus' spirit returned to the Underworld, where
he was happily united with Eurydice.
The Mugal king Shahjahan not only built a monument of love, TajMahal,
one of the modern world's seven wonders, for the tomb of his beloved wife to
rest in eternally, but also, imprisoned by his own son for such an
extravagance, spent the rest of his life looking over through the window of his
prison at her tomb until he was laid to rest beside his beloved Mumtaz.
Troilus went to war for his kingdom and died while fighting. Standing at the
gate of heaven, his soul refuses to enter. He implored God that he was ready
to die a thousand deaths, if he is allowed a moment to meet Cressida to let her
know how much she meant to him.
The nature of love is not simple. We are repeatedly told that the grass in
our neighbors' yard always looks greener. I am sure; the above-mentioned
characters must have their own share of complications and problems in their
duration. Each woman may desire a tall, dark, handsome prince who arrives
on his galloping white horse to pick her up, to vanish into the sunset to live
happily ever after. In reality, life doesn't end there. Love is a wildly
misunderstood extreme malfunction of hearts.
"Perhaps the old monks were right when they tried to root love out;
perhaps poets are right when they try to water it. It is a blood-red flower, with
the color of sin, but there is always a scent of God about it," writes Olive
Schreines. Whereas, Erich Segal says, True love comes quietly without
banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked."
Maybe love gets such a bad rap because it is selfishly treated, blindly
accepted and ignorantly interpreted. "Love is patient; love is kind; love is not
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envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is
not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the
truth. It bears all things, believes all things, endures all things, hopes all
things," defines 1 Corinthians 13, 4-7.
Are we able to pass the test of love administered by the scriptures? Is our
love as pure as this? The answer is obvious; we are humans. "If you wish to be
loved, love," advises Seneca.
Love is never out of season. Let's feel the love that surrounds us. God's
precious gift to us is a heart to share. Love is the precious commodity that
helps us to get by, day by day. Just love and be loved. Though it may prove at
times a torture and a nightmare, but it's a beautiful torture and a loving
nightmare.
Happy Valentine's Day to all of us.
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A wedding vow with substance

Coretta Kings enduring love an example to all
hearts, flowers, and candlelight. However, we all know that the heart is not
shielded from ache and a romantic bed of roses is not free of thorns.
Love, is a powerful feeling that mesmerizes one magically into dreams
of joy, hope and happiness. "Love is the flower of life, and blossoms
enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration," professes D. H. Lawrence.
Whereas, John Sheffield declares, Love is the salt of life; a higher taste. It
gives pleasure and then makes it last. And Lord Alfred Tennyson adds, It is
better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Have you ever wondered in a fairytale, such as Cinderella, Snow White
and the Seven Dwarfs, or Beauty and the Beast which end in a wedding in
wedding, each couple lives happily ever after? Without any opportunity to
peek into everyday lives that are destined to be filled with trials and
tribulations, poverty and sickness, desires, passions, and misunderstandings,
we are asked to believe unrealistically, Theyve lived happily ever after! No
wonder! These are fairytales!! Now, we all know that love is not all about
roses, chocolate, cute and cuddly stuffed animals, and dining out in a fancy
restaurant. Real love is the one that survives all the trials and tribulations and
stands firmly the test of time. I am rather infatuated by the stories of persons
who have survived all the challenges, stood together unshaken, and preserved
the sanctity of their wedding vows, regardless. In this context, I salute Mrs.
Coretta King, who standing alone, for about four decades, sustained the legacy
of her slain husband, and lived up to the solemn promise of her wedding vows
not only till death do us part, but also after her husbands death.
Its often said, "Behind every good man is a good woman but its rarely
recognized what ordeals these good women have to go through to support
these good mens ambitions and dreams.
Coretta Scott from Marion, a small Alabama town, was studying voice at
the New England Conservatory of Music and planning on a singing career
when a friend introduced her to King, a young Baptist minister studying for
his doctorate in theology at Boston University. On their first date, King
assured her, You know you have everything I ever wanted in a woman. We
ought to get married someday. Eighteen months later in 1953, Miss Scott
became Mrs. King.
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The couple moved to Montgomery, Ala., where Dr. King became pastor of
the Dexter Avenue Baptist Church. She embraced her life as a preachers wife
but soon found herself in a much broader role as her husband helped lead the
1955 Montgomery bus boycott set in motion by the late Mrs. Rosa Parks when
she refused to give up her seat on a segregated bus. With that campaign,
impressed by Mahatma Gandhis philosophy, Dr. King chose the path of
nonviolence to engage in the freedom-fight. She was by him when he became
the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964 and marched beside
him from Selma, Ala., into Montgomery in 1965 on the triumphant drive for a
voting rights law.
On the night of April 3, 1968, as he delivered his celebrated speech, I
Have a Dream, Dr. King predicted, I have seen the Promised Land. I may
not get there with you, but we as a people will get to the Promised Land.
The very next day, he was gunned down in Memphis, Tennessee. Mrs. King
seemed too young to be a widow and a single parent to four children, ranging
just 5 to 12. Only days after his death, the grieving widow flew to Memphis
with three of her children to lead thousands marching in honor of her slain
husband and to plead for his cause. I think you rise to the occasion in a crisis.
I think the Lord gives you strength when you need it. God was using us and
now he is using me, too, said Mrs. King.
After his death, there were rumors of Dr. King's infidelities. With fame,
one lives in a fishbowl, and Coretta had to endure the public's intense
curiosity about her personal life. Throughout all, Mrs. King has maintained
her dignity and devotion to her husband's mission.
She was tirelessly involved in fighting for unity, equal rights and
opportunity, regardless of race or religion, in carrying on her husbands
crusade by championing his causes and espousing his philosophy as Gods
calling of her life.
Mrs. King organized the Martin Luther King Jr. Center for Non-Violent
Social Change. Today, it stands next to Dr. Kings beloved Ebenezer Baptist
Church in Atlanta, his birth place. His birthday, Jan. 15, is a national holiday,
celebrated each year with educational programs, artistic displays, and concerts
throughout the United States. The Lorraine Hotel, where he was shot, is now
the National Civil Rights Museum. Throughout all, Mrs. King has maintained
her dignity and devotion to her husbands mission.
The month of January 2006 ended with the sad note of Mrs. Kings death.
She was 78. She earned the honor of lying in the Georgia State House
Rotunda, as the first woman and the first African-American so recognized.
This honor was denied to her slain husband,
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Her life, although filled with struggles, dangers, hurts, and heartaches, is a
success story. Lets salute Mrs. Coretta Scott King, "the first lady of the civil
rights movement," for her courage, character, and sacrifices.
May the Lord Almighty bless her soul. May her soul rest in peace.
Mrs. King epitomizes Shakespeares wish expressed in A Midsummer
Nights Dream: Sweet friends may thy love neer alter till thy sweet life
end! Love may be the wildest woe, but it is the sweetest joy. Though tainted
with earth, it has the scent of heaven in it.
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Love, a thing of beauty

The last week of January turned out to be sunny, warm and very inviting,
so I took an afternoon stroll in the Edisto Memorial Gardens. Watching
children swing, I sat on the bench by the swing set. As two young mothers
children were swinging, I overheard one of them talking about not having a
date for Valentines Day. Saying, Valentines still two weeks away, the
other asked, What about your daughters father. Its hard to know what he
thinks and does. I love him. I called him several times. He says he needs his
space; I am all over him, smother him, but I cant help it. I want him to know
that I want him. I am doomed without him, especially on such a special day,
she babbled breathlessly. Listening to the conversation, I turned around to
look at her, but plunged in gloom, engrossed in singing her own blues, she
was unable to notice anyones presence.
A very wise man once said, If you love something, set it free. If it comes
back to you, it is yours for life; if it does not, it was never yours in the first
place. This simple principle has a great relevance in romantic relationships.
Some individuals are so anxious to find someone to love that they begin to
smother the other person. Thats like turning the fire hose on a flickering
flame.
I read a story about one young man who had decided to win the heart of
this young girl who refused even to see him. He thought the key to winning
her heart was through writing her love letters, so he began to write her every
day. When she didnt respond, he increased his output to three notes every 24
hours. In all, he wrote her more than 700 letters. As a result, she married the
postman. Its the way the system works. Appearing too anxious or too
available actually drives the other person away, because love is a function of
respect between two people and those who gabble and beg produce only
disrespect for themselves. In other words, romantic love is one of those rare
human endeavors that succeed the best when it requires the least effort.
Experts say that the cautious lovers usually like to nibble at the bait before
swallowing the hook. Those who jerk the line too quickly rarely ever catch the
big one.
Despite the ominous divorce rate, begetting children out of wedlock and a
popular culture that seldom celebrates married love and loyalty, the search for
a life companion has proved to be still one of the most elemental of human
impulses.
The observance of Valentine's Day is getting too commercial to afford us
pure enjoyment. As soon as Christmas is over, stores are filled with red and
pink boxes of candy, flowers, heart-shaped balloons, stuffed animals holding
red hearts and jewelry. All this may very well result in stress for romantically
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involved couples as they try to make this day perfect; wistfulness for those
who are single, even those who are perfectly content to be single; and
insecurity and risky behavior for young adults who are desperately trying to
find a match.
What everyone needs to remember is that Valentine's Day is not just for
couples, so there is no need to fret. It is a holiday to spend with the people you
love. It does not have to be just your sweetheart; it may be your best friend,
mother, father, sibling or someone else who may not be related to you. If you
have a sweetheart, that is well and good. If not, spend your Valentine's Day
making the people you care about feel special. Before the end of the day,
make sure that you take time to let them know you care, how special they are,
and how much they mean to you. By doing this, certainly, you will feel
content and happy.
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Handcuffed to his wedding vows

While there is plenty of news broadcast about celebrity breakups,

acrimonious divorces and infidelity, reading about celebrities that live up to
the solemn promise of their wedding vows, not only "till death do us part," but
even after death inspires me. Despite the ominous divorce rate and a popular
culture that seldom celebrates married love and loyalty, the search for a life
companion is still one of the most elemental of human impulses. Love may be
the wildest woe, but it is the sweetest joy.
Harry Houdini, born in 1874 as Ehrich Weisz, began performing magic
shows at 17 to entertain civic groups in music halls and at New Yorks Coney
Island Park. There he met Beatrice Raymond, a teenaged novice singer and
dancer seeking a career in show business. After they married in 1894, Bess
joined the act as a new partner. Harry did magic and Bess sang and danced,
and together they performed a trick called Metamorphosis, in which they
switched places in a locked trunk. Constantly working on new tricks, speech
and showmanship, Houdini claimed the ability to escape from any handcuffs
provided by the local police. He offered $100 to anyone who provided
handcuffs from which he couldnt escape, but he never had to pay. Harry and
Bess remained devoted companions for the rest of their life. He depended on
her to care for him and handle the necessities of life and gave her the credit for
his success. He habitually wrote her a love note every day.
Blaming the movie company for his unsuccessful acting in a 13-part silent
film serial called the Master of Mystery, frustrated Houdini made his own
movies. Like the earlier series, these too were unsuccessful. Critics panned
Houdinis wooden acting and ineffective love scenes. Adam Woog, Houdinis
biographer, writes, He was so embarrassed at having to kiss another wo man
that he gave his wife five dollars every time he did so. Ultimately, accepting
defeat, he gave up on the film business. What a tribute to his fidelity in
marriage and love for his wife!
In the fall of 1926, Houdini took his show on the road. An elaborate two
and a half hour performance featured magic, a section debunking spiritualism,
escapes from a coffin and Chinese water torture, which had become one of
Houdinis most famous stunts. In mid-October, the tour took a bad turn in
Providence, Rhode Island when Bess suffered from food poisoning. Despite
the presence of a nurse, Houdini stayed awake at his beloved wifes bedside
night after night. Then during the Albany show as the frame holding his leg in
place for the Chinese water torture jerked, he broke his ankle. Without sleep
and with a broken ankle, ignoring doctors advice to stay off his feet, he stuck
to his schedule, including a lecture at McGill University. While at the
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University, Houdini invited the art student who presented him with a sketch of
the great escape artist to visit him backstage. The next day, the student and
two of his friends were chatting with Houdini in his dressing room when one
of the students, an amateur boxer, asked if it was true that Houdini could
withstand any blow to his body above the waist, excluding his face. Admitting
that it was true, Houdini, despite his weakened state, gave the student
permission to test him. As Houdini began to rise from his couch, before he
tightened his abdomen muscles, the student punched him three times in the
stomach. Pale faced Houdini collapsed on the couch. Refusing to see a doctor,
in intense pain, despite chills and sweating, he performed three shows that
afternoon and the next day, before moving on with his company to Detroit,
Michigan on Oct. 24. Once there, ignoring doctors urging that he
immediately go to the hospital, with a temperature of 102, he performed his
scheduled shows and then entered the hospital. While operating, the doctors
found his burst appendix had caused peritonitis, a fatal disease, before the
development of antibiotics. He was given little hope of surviving. Bess, still
suffering from food poisoning, was also checked into the same hospital.
Believing he was near death, Houdini reportedly shared a secret message with
Bess: He would contact her from the other side, if possible, to deliver the
coded message: Rosabelle, believe. If she heard the words, she would know
it was really him. (Rosabelle was a name of the song Bess had sung at
Coney Island when she met Houdini.)
Harry Houdini died on the afternoon of Halloween, Oct. 31, 1926.
The man, who worked diligently throughout his life to escape from
handcuffs, handcuffed himself boundlessly to his wedding vows. Evidently,
his wife won his $100 bet with flying colors. Every Halloween for the next 10
years, Bess kept the candle burning beside his photograph and held a sance.
What a great love story!
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Lesson to Valentines Day scrooge

February is a sweethearts month. And Valentines Day is not just all about
red roses, chocolate, cute cuddly stuffed animals and people dining out and
declaring undying love for each other. Nor it is just about marketing cards,
heart-shaped balloons and stuffed animals and jewelry. Valentines Day is an
occasion to truly acknowledge the joy others bring to our lives. How one
celebrates it depends on the content of ones heart.
This column is an early lesson to a Valentines Day scrooge. Today, I am
going to relate a Valentines Day lesson written by Bob Schwartz.
Bob mentions that he was never the biggest fan of the Valentines Day
tradition. He admits the closest he came to sending his wife flowers was
apprising her that he had thought about it but got sidetracked.
The ramifications of his scrooge-like Valentines Day mentality began to
disappear as he thought of what lesson he would be imparting to his children
if he was remiss in getting that bouquet of flowers and that card for his wife.
In addition, he just couldnt let his curmudgeonly Valentines feelings dampen
the childrens enjoyment of little candy hearts. He needed to grow up here.
His changing philosophy, he confesses, didnt come from the maturity he was
forced to achieve by becoming a father but through the big impact of his
childrens actions and their words.
His children were the ones who delivered him a welcome Valentines Day
lesson. As he was watching his two young sons creating Valentines Day
cards for their mother just to show their love and appreciation to make her
happy, he looked at his older sons poem. It read:
I love you with all my heart.
You are pretty, nice, and very smart.
You give me lots of extra syrup on my pancakes.
Would you please be my Valentine for goodness sakes?
Short to the point, and he was giving some big-time love.
Then Bob turned around to look at his younger sons card that read: Roses
are red / violets are pink / you are the most bestest Mom ever / cause you give
me bubble baths when I stink. How creative and heartfelt! The father was
impressed.
After reading his sons thoughtful, heart-warming poems, Bob got a little
sentimental; he admits he even felt a slightly romantic twinge.
He borrowed a sheet of plain paper and grabbed the automatic tangerine and
purple pizzazz-colored crayons from his sons box, drew some hearts and
wrote:
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There are things I should have sent to show all that youve meant.
Through all our remaining many miles, I promise to give you lots of
smiles. I know you will never confuse me with Cupid. And sometimes,
I act very stupid, but you know I love you so very much, even if I
dont send roses by the bunch. So, on this Valentines, would you be
my date because forever, you will be my soulmate?
Seeing his wifes face light up as she read the boys cards, Bob gave his
card. And she read it after they revived her from passing out. He had scored
some big-time brownie points. Being impacted by the lessons learned from his
children that day about romance, Bob writes that hes already started thinking
of ordering chocolate truffles for next year.
He thanks his kids for turning a Valentines Day Scrooge into Mr. Romeo.
How lucky each woman would feel, if her husband, if he is a Valentines Day
Scrooge, learns from this story!
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The holy matrimony

hearts, flowers and candlelight. Yet I am infatuated on this day more by the
stories of persons who have survived all the challenges, stood together
unshaken and preserved the sanctity of their wedding vows than by fairy tales.
Here is a love story of Mrs. Robin Brumetts life, which stands as testament of
her devotion, generosity and innovation.
Bert and Robin have been married for 41 years and used to run a television
station in Seattle. Bert loved playing tennis and playing with kids. He retired
early and started traveling with his wife, Robin, who loved trying new things,
and Bert loved doing anything with Robin.
As the golden years arrived, Bert suffered in 2004 a little bit of shortness of
breath. The couple sensed that something was terribly wrong. Bert started
experiencing muscle weakness and having problems with talking. It wasnt
long before they received the devastating diagnosis that Bert was victim of
amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also called Lou Gehrigs disease, the
neurological disorder that robs one from using muscles and usually leads to
death in just a few years.
ALS is like a lit candle; it melts your nerves and leaves your body a pile of
wax. Often, it begins with the legs and works its way up. You lose control of
your thigh muscles, so that you cannot support yourself standing. You lose
control of your trunk muscles, so that you cannot sit up straight. By the end, if
you are still alive, you are breathing through a tube in a hole in your throat,
while your soul, perfectly awake, is imprisoned inside, a limp husk, perhaps
able to blink or cluck a tongue, like something from a science fiction movie,
the man frozen inside his own flesh. This takes no more than five years from
the day you experience symptoms of the disease, writes Mitch Albom in
Tuesdays with Morrie.
Bert is on ventilator that breaths for him. He cannot move a muscle. He
blinks to communicate, since he sees, hears and understands everything.
Refusing to allow the quality of her husbands life to decline, despite a
crippling illness, the heart-wrenched loving wife, Robin, reached on the
Internet for help and turned their home, overlooking Puget Sound, outside of
Seattle, into a place where strangers are welcomed and there is always
someone to listen.
After Bert was diagnosed, Robin, considering her husbands unfulfilled
dream of traveling the world, posted an ad on Craigslist.com, making an
online plea for people to come to share their experiences with him. Because
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Bert loved the world so much, she decided to bring the world to him.
Hundreds responded to come to talk about any topic their lives, their
families, almost anything.
One by one they come, most of them strangers. One man came to read from
his newly finished novel set during the Civil War. A noted scientist came to
talk to Bert about earthquakes and volcanoes. One young woman came to tell
him of her experience in the Peace Corps and her travels on all seven
continents. David Johns brought his daughter Mia and he even read her a
storybook as Bert listened.
The view of Puget Sound from the Brumetts home is stunning, but some
say whats even more beautiful is what is happening inside. Call it the
Church of Bert because there is this thing that happened in there and it was
like how you might feel after you leave a good Sunday service or something,
said volunteer Nadine Joy. I felt that there was something larger than all of
us that was there.
For those who came, Bert is a reminder of the way life can change. Berts
willingness to listen and Robins hope and dedication have given them
unsurpassed feelings of love and joy and made them a host of lifelong friends.
What a great love story, touching the very core of humanity!
Sweet friends may thy love neer alter till thy sweet life end, wishes
Shakespeare in A Midsummer Nights Dream. Mrs. Bert personifies his wish.
Love may be the wildest woe, but it is the sweetest joy. Though tainted with
earth, it has the scent of heaven in it.
Happy Valentines Day.
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A tale of fate
Sunday, February 8, 2009
The instant one of my friends asked me what I was planning to write for
Valentines Day, the following story flashed in front of my minds eye,
though I am not sure if the story fits the occasion.
Marie St. Clair and her beau, aspiring artist Jean Millet, plan to leave their
small French village for Paris, where they will marry. The night before their
scheduled departure, Marie climbs down from her second-floor bedroom for a
rendezvous with Jean. Her stepfather sees them strolling down a lane and
locks her out of the house.
Marie accompanies Jean to his home only to learn that Jeans parents are
not thrilled with their sons romance, either. Marie goes to the train station, as
Jean promises to follow her. However, when Jean is about to walk out, he
realizes his father has died while sitting in his chair in front of the fireplace.
Jean telephones Marie at the station to tell her he cant go with her to Paris;
before he explains his reason, Jeans conversation with Marie is interrupted.
Nevertheless, Marie gets on the train to Paris, joins a wealthy social circle
and enjoys a life of luxury as a mistress of wealthy businessman Pierre Revel.
One night, accepting her friends invitation to attend a raucous party in the
Latin Quarter, Marie enters the wrong building and knocks on the door. She is
surprised to be greeted by Jean Millet. Learning that he has become an
accomplished artist, she hires him to paint her portrait.
When Jean calls on Marie at her apartment to begin the painting, she
notices a black armband he is wearing and asks why he is in mourning. Jean
tells her his father has died. Marie asks when, and Jean replies, The night you
left.
Marie models in a rich-looking silver dress representing her new life;
however, Jean paints her in the simple dress she wore on the night she left him
for Paris. When questioned, Jean tells her that he stills likes the old Marie.
Marie and Jean revive their romance. As Jean proposes to Marie, she tells
Pierre that she wants out of her loveless life; she wants to marry Jean and start
a family, though Pierre isnt so sure, for he knows Marie has become fond of
the luxuries he has provided. Jeans mother, who shares the apartment with
Jean, disapproves the marriage. Angry Jean starts to leave; however, after
opening the door and leaving it ajar, in an attempt to console his mother, he
tells her that the proposal was spur-of-the-moment and not serious. Marie
happens to eavesdrop, as she arrives unexpectedly outside Jeans apartment at
that moment. A chastened Marie returns to Pierre.
Jean fails to convince Marie that he was just trying to appease the older
woman and that he didnt mean what she overheard. One night, feeling jilted,
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Jean slips a gun into his coat pocket and goes to the exclusive restaurant
where Marie and Pierre are dining. Jean asks the attendant to give Marie a
note asking her to meet him one last time. Pierre sees the note and invites Jean
to join them. Jean and Pierre get into a scuffle, and Jean is ejected from the
dining room. Jean stands by the fountain in the restaurants foyer, pulls out the
gun and fatally shoots himself.
After the police bring in Jeans body, Jeans mother retrieves the gun and
goes to Maries apartment. However, not finding Marie, she returns only to
find her kneeling by Jeans body and sobbing. Touched by Maries grief, she
reconciles. The two women move to the French countryside, where they open
a home for orphans in a country cottage.
One morning, when Marie and one of the girls in her care walk down the
lane to get a pail of milk, they meet a group of sharecroppers with a horsedrawn wagon who offer them a ride back in the wagon. At the same time,
Pierre Revel and another gentleman are riding through the French countryside
in a chauffeur-driven automobile. When asked by his companion, What ever
happened to that Marie St. Clair? Pierre replies ambiguously, I dont know.
Pierres automobile and the horse-drawn wagon then pass each other, heading
in opposite directions. A striking contrast in two different lifestyles reminds
the viewers that a pocketful of money alone doesnt buy love.
Obviously, Jean comes from a world where relationships are extremely
important, whether romantic or family. He is trapped and torn throughout his
life between filial duties and his romantic relationship with the woman he
loves. The star-crossed lovers are never given a chance at happiness. Maries
sacrificial commitment to keep Jean alive in her memory has its own
bittersweet ending. Real love is the one that survives the test of time. Sad or
happy ending, love has its own mystic power. Marie epitomizes Shakespeares
wish expressed in A Midsummer Nights Dream: Sweet friends, may thy
love neer alter till thy sweet life end! Love may be the wildest woe, but it is
the sweetest joy. Though tainted with earth, it has the scent of heaven in it.
Yes! You guessed it right. This was a silent film with a message that time
heals, and the secret of happiness is in service to others. Produced and
directed by Charlie Chaplin, A Woman of Paris debuted in 1923. I was
deeply touched by this tale of fate. I hope you, too, enjoy reading it.
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Monumental love
February 14, 2009
After reading my column entitled a Tale of fate, this friend who inquired
about my writing a column for the Valentines Day called me to express her
despair and ask why I couldnt think of a story with a happy ending. She said
that the news of slumping economy, unemployment, the dire housing market,
the lack of healthcare and other problems ordinary taxpayers are encountering
is depressing enough and asked whether escaping from this dreadful reality
for at least one day is too much to expect.
I tried to console her by explaining how love stories that dont end
happily ever after have lasting charm of their own. Though the lovers may
experience at times torture and nightmare, but in the end, even torture and
nightmare may leave us with beautiful loving memories. There are love stories
where jilted lovers have dedicated the remainder of their lives to prove their
ardent love for their sweethearts. If all love stories had ended happily ever
after we would have missed great love stories and historical monuments that
helped keep the memories of their sweethearts alive.
For that matter, we dont need to dig into mythologies or far in history to
read about such a passionate love experience. A recent testimony of undying,
great love is the building of the Coral Castle in the later part of the 1930s.
Born in Riga, Latvia, on August 10th, 1887, 26 year old Edward
Leedskalnin was engaged to be married to his love, Sweet Sixteen Agnes
Scuffs. However, she cancelled the wedding just one day before the
ceremony. Heartbroken and deeply saddened, Ed set out on a lifelong quest to
create a remarkable monument to his lost love. Eds unusual creation is called
the Coral Castle.
After living in Canada, California, and Texas, Ed developed a touch of
tuberculosis. He decided to move to Florida, to a better climate that would
help his condition. Over 18 years in Florida City, Ed devoted his time building
the Coral Castle as a testimony of love for the beloved who jilted him. He
carved and sculpted over 1,100 tons of coral rock. At times he worked on
4,000 foot thick coral blocks. Incredibly, he cut and moved huge coral blocks
using only hand tools. This is a remarkable achievement for an individual who
was just over 5 feet, weighed about 100 pounds, and had only a fourth grade
education.
After learning someone planned to build a subdivision just 10 miles away
from his home in Florida City, Ed bought 10 acres of land in 1936 and moved
to Homestead, FL. He spent the next three years moving the Coral Castle
structures.
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Ed labored alone intensely for 28 years carving this astonishing

masterpiece, a Coral Castle from the ground up using nothing but home-made
tools from junk parts. And then after its completion, he spent rest of his life as
a tour guide enthusiastically making sure that the tourists appreciated his love
monument. Ed, who never married or owned a car and lived a very simple
life, died at 64. The only written records Ed left are five pamphlets that he
wrote: One pamphlet, A Book in Every Home, contains his thoughts on 3
subjects, Sweet Sixteen, Domestic, and Political Views, and three
pamphlets on Magnetic Current, and his fifth pamphlet on Mineral,
Vegetable and Animal Life contains his beliefs on lifes cycle. A box of Eds
personal effects contained a set of instructions that led to the discovery of 35$100 bills, Eds life savings. He made this money from giving tours for ten
cents and twenty-five cents and from selling his pamphlets, as he indulged the
tourist by the stories of his Sweet heart.
The only other comparable tribute to the Coral Castle is the Taj Mahal,
built in the 17th century and which took 16 years to complete and used the
labor of 20,000 slaves. The Moghul Emperor Shah Jahan built a monument of
love, the Taj Mahal, one of the modern world's seven wonders, for the tomb of
his beloved wife to rest eternally. Also, imprisoned by his own son for such an
extravagance, the emperor spent the rest of his life looking through the
window of his prison at her tomb until he was laid to rest beside his beloved
Mumtaz.
As I referred to these two stories, while chatting with one of my friends,
she said the story of the Moghul Emperors intense love for his beloved
Mumtaz and his undying devotion for her until his last breath is more
understandable. This couple lived their lives and bore children together. As
they experienced together the good and bad, sad and happy, lifes atrocities,
their love was given a better chance to grow. But Edward Leedskalnins story
seems more like an obsession.
The nature of love is not simple. We are repeatedly told that the grass in
our neighbors' yard always looks greener. Time and again, we have been
cautioned: Love has nothing to offer but pain.The course of true love never
runs smooth. Falling in love and feeling great and blessed when it works; but
when it doesnt work, feeling despair and disappointment and resolving not to
tread that path ever again has been the way of the world.
However, has anyone ever overcome this so called noblest frailty of
mind? As Alexander Pope himself declares, Love is the sole disease thou
canst not cure. And Shakespeare, after ranking, The lunatic, the lover and
the poet are of imaginations all compact, confesses in Midsummer Nights
Dream, Love is merely madness; and I tell you, deserves as well a dark
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house and a whip, as madmen do; and the reason why they are not so punished
and cured is that the lunacy is so ordinary that the whippers are in love too.
Love is such a powerful feeling that it mesmerizes one magically into
dreams of joy, hope and happiness. Love is the flower of life, and blossoms
enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration, professes D. H. Lawrence.
Whereas, Buckingham declares, Love is salt of life; a higher taste. It gives
pleasure and then makes it last. Finally, Alfred Lord Tennyson adds, It is
better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Happy Valentines Day to us!
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For better or for worse

Sunday, February 12, 2010
The media bombardment over endless celebrity scandals, cheating

husbands, their sex scandals, preposterous alibis, stammering confessions,
humiliated spouses, broken marriages, heartbroken mistresses salacious
details of the affairs all this makes real trust and intimacy harder to find.
The words love, marriage, husband, wife sound like a farce.
However, these egoistic, narcissistic, so-called celebrities are not the role
models when trust and matrimony are concerned. The institution of holy
matrimony still exists and is strongly valid. Wedding vows and character still
matter. In this day, when the culture teaches us to bail out at the first sign of
frustration or pain, its uplifting to see a young couple work to recapture what
they have lost and to remain committed to each other even in the face of
tragedy. Here is an abbreviated version of the inspirational true love story by
Lynette Baughman titled For Better or for Worse, which I read years ago in
Readers Digest.
Newlyweds Kim and Krickitt Carpenter were headed toward Phoenix to spend
Thanksgiving 1993 with her family. They were driving their new Ford Escort,
while relishing memories of the time spent in Maui during their honeymoon.
It was pitch dark at 6:30 p.m. Krickitt had taken the wheel. Kim, who had a
head cold, had gotten in the back seat of the car so he could lie down. Six
miles west of Gallup, N.M., on Interstate 40, a flatbed truck traveling ahead of
them at approximately 30 mph was obscured by exhaust smoke. Kim woke to
Krickitts scream of terror. Krickitt hit the brakes and attempted to swerve
left, but collided with the flatbed, as a pickup truck from behind slammed into
the drivers side of the Escort. The little car flew through the air and came
down on its roof, skidding more than 100 feet before it stopped.
Kim was squeezed against the roof of the car, which was underneath him. He
couldnt move his legs, and the pain in his back was excruciating. As he called
out for Krickitt, he received no response. He couldnt see that she was
suspended above him, held by the seat belt and the steering wheel, her head
swelling grotesquely as fluid flooded her brain.
It took a half-hour for rescuers to extract Krickitt from the crumpled metal.
Since she was critically injured, the first ambulance took her to the hospital;
shortly after, a second ambulance followed with Kim. Married only 10 weeks,
Kim saw Krickitt with a plastic hose in her mouth and a device stuck in her
head to measure intracranial pressure. Plastic bags hung on metal stands, all
draining fluids down clear tubing into her arms. And then Kim listened in
shock as a doctor told him Krickitt was in coma. There was possible brain
damage. She might die.
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Three weeks after the accident, Krickitt gradually came out of the coma.
However, she had lost all memory of the year before the accident. She didnt
remember their courtship, wedding, honeymoon, or their short time together
as husband and wife. Kim Carpenter was a complete stranger to the woman he
had fallen madly in love with. Her parents and friends would ask, Who are
you married to, Krickitt? She would seem to concentrate but then say any of
a half-dozen mens names her gymnastics coach, old friends, a doctor. Kim
showed her a video of their wedding. As the camera panned on Kims face, he
gently nudged her, saying, Thats me, Kim, and the girl is you, Krickitt. But
she showed no reaction.
Every day, Krickitt worked with a physical therapist, speech therapists. Once
an accomplished gymnast, she had to be taught to walk. Her brain had
sustained injuries to the frontal lobe, which controls personality, emotions and
decision-making, and in her parietal lobe, which governs language and
mathematical comprehension. Krickitts partial memory gradually returned,
but Kim continued to be that guy, just one more person who made her try to
walk, feed herself and hit a ball with a paddle. Often her reaction was anger
and rejection. Why dont you go back to Las Vegas? she said to him often.
Because I love you, was Kims unwavering response.
In March 1994, Kim and Krickitt went to their apartment for an orientation
visit. Krickitt looked at their wedding photo quizzically and
uncomprehendingly. Her continual confusion over where to find things in the
apartment, how to find her way around and her anger at Kim for being tough
about therapy all this caused temper outbursts that were completely unlike
the woman Kim had known and loved. Dismayed by her erratic behavior, Kim
burst out, I cant live like this anymore. However, I cant see me without you
or you without me.
Kim went to see a professional counselor. During one session, the therapist
asked him, What made Krickitt fall in love with you? Kim thought of all the
love and affection hes shown her during their courtship. He was her
sweetheart. Then he considered how hed acted since her injury; he was more
like a parent or coach. Finally it struck him. Start over! Win her back! The
courtship began all over again. Krickitt began to notice how compassionate
and generous Kim was. Gradually she felt herself growing into love, which
she described to herself as sort of like falling in love, only better.
Kims counselor suggested renewing their wedding vows; Krickitt had grown
up believing that marriage was forever. On Valentines Day 1996, Kim once
again went down on one knee to propose. And in May, after 2-1/2 years of
ordeal, Krickitt and Kim Carpenter exchanged their original rings. Krickitt
thanked him for being true to his original vows and added, I pray that I might
be the wife you fell in love with. Emerging from the chapel, Kim and
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Krickitt posed for photos. It was the beginning of a new life for them, a
moment that, now, Krickitt could remember and treasure forever.
Happy Valentines Day!
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Tucson tragedy unique love saga

Saturday, February 12, 2011
The moment I thought of writing a Valentine's Day column, the heartwrenching, senseless Tucson massacre incident popped up in front of my
mind's eye.
As Webster's Dictionary defines romance as an intense, sad, happy,
mysterious, exciting love affair, this tragic episode is replete with every aspect
of romance and romanticism. It is a tale of chivalry; every element is filled
with idealistic traits and heroism, except the villainous specter of the accused
gunman, grinning hideously in his mug shot, 22-year-old Jared Lee Loughner.
On Saturday, Jan. 8, 2011, Rep. Gabrielle Giffords called an assembly
titled "Congress on Your Corner" to answer her constituents' questions. Sadly,
that scene was shattered by a gunman's bullets. Giffords and 17 others were
shot. Christina Green, 9, Giffords' Community Outreach Director Gabe
Zimmerman, 30, U.S. District Judge John Roll, 63, Dorwin Stoddard, 76,
Dorothy Morris, 76, and Phyllis Scheck, 79, died and 12 people were
wounded. Among the wounded were Christina Green's neighbor, who took
her to the event, Mavy Stoddard, who lost her husband, and retired pilot with
United Airlines George Morris, who lost his wife. Congresswoman Giffords
was shot in the head and fought longer than a week a critical life and death
battle. Though she is making speedy progress toward recovery, it's only one
step at a time and a long hard way lies ahead for her.
Among all these dead and wounded were the details of romantic stories of
selflessness, sacrifice, love, devotion, modesty, hope and encouragement that
exemplify Tucson citizens as role models. A couple, Dorwin and Mavy
Stoddard, started and raised their own respective families, and then, when they
both were widowed, reunited to rekindle their childhood romance. Dorwin's
final act of selflessness was to dive on top of his wife, sacrificing his life for
hers.
High school sweethearts Dorothy and George Morris' "50-year
honeymoon" (as their friends called) came to halt. And since the shooting, the
Congresswoman Giffords' astronaut husband Mark Kelly has been her
steadfast rock, keeping constant vigil at his critically wounded wife's bedside,
clutching her hand. After all, she is "the closest to heaven" that he's ever been
(as he's inscribed on her wedding ring); he must hold her tight. And she, while
fighting for her life in ICU, tries to smile at him, plays with his wedding ring
and gives him an affectionate neck rub. In this day, when the culture teaches
us to bail out at the first sign of frustration or pain, it's uplifting to see these
heartwarming details about these couples' romantic lives and be encouraged to
remain committed to each other even in the face of tragedy.
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At times love gives us no choice. However heartbreaking the whole

spectrum is, the story has a soothing affect in sadness. Each character is
heroic, which represents love, hope, grace and light with pride. A 20-year-old
student and government intern, Daniel Hernandez put his hands on Gabby
Giffords' wounds to staunch her bleeding; a senior citizen, Patricia Maisch
launched herself into the 22-year-old gunman to wrestle a gun magazine from
his hands and save lives; a federal judge, John Roll had handed down rulings
that brought threats to his life when he gave illegal immigrants the right to sue
people who assaulted and abused them. The parents of Christina Green (who
was born on 9/11, one of 50 babies born that day to be pictured in a book
called "Faces of Hope") donated their daughter's organs to help save a little
girl in Boston. A skilled, Korean-American trauma surgeon, Peter Rhee, who
had sewn numerous wounds in combat zones abroad, was on duty at the
University Medical Center and proved to be exactly the right man in the right
place and time.
Tucson got struck with a terrible blow, but it stands to exemplify the
resilience of the human soul. What else can be more romantic, mysterious and
miraculous than this? Tucson's citizens have exhibited the nation's spirit with
such grace and pride.
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For Valentine's Day: Love, an age-old story

It is hard to write a love story without sadness, though we may see a love
story ending happily and with all parties living happily ever. Love bereft of
hate, happiness without a streak of sadness, how is it possible, since they're
part and parcel, two sides of the same coin called life? We are taught that love
is patient; love is kind; love never fails. If it did, would it still be love?
Here is the classical love legend of the beautiful Shakuntala and the mighty
king Dushyanta. While on a hunting trip, Dushyanta pursues a wounded deer
into the ashram. He realizes the deer is being nursed by a hermit girl named
Shakuntala and begs her pardon for harming the deer. They fall in love
instantaneously. After spending some time at the ashram, Dushyanta marries
Shakuntala, in her father's absence, in a ceremony that is a form of marriage
by mutual consent with Mother Nature as the witness. When the time comes
for Dushyanta to return to his palace, he gives her a signet ring and promises
that he will send an envoy to escort her to his kingdom.
One day, Shakuntala, engrossed in her daydreams, fails to respond to Sage
Durvasa's calls for hospitality. Feeling insulted, the hotheaded sage curses
Shakuntala: "Do you dare despise a guest like me? The person in whose
memory you are engrossed will forget you."
Shakuntala's close friend notices the angry sage's action, runs toward him
to plead on her friend's behalf, reminds him of Shakuntala's former devotion,
and asks him to pardon her for this offence. The sage ameliorates the curse:
"My words must be fulfilled. But the curse shall be lifted if she can present a
token of their love."
Now, Shakuntala was pregnant with Dushyanta's child. Since they hadn't
heard from the palace, Shakuntala's father, Sage Kanva, sends his daughter
with a sizable escort to the royal court for a reunion with her husband. Upon
entering the court, Shakuntala presents herself before Dushyanta, but even her
recounting the details of their union doesn't prompt his memory. Under the
spell of the curse, Dushyanta fails to acknowledge her as his wife. Heartbroken, she touches her finger for the signet ring and only then realizes it's
gone. She cries in agony, "Oh! The ring is lost." En route, when Shakuntala
had worshipped in the holy Ganges, she had dropped the signet-ring into the
river.
Moaning, "Fate is too strong for me," she tries to follow the escort to seek
shelter at her father's, but she is banned with a response, "If you deserve such
scorn and blame, what will your father do with your shame? Remain. We
must go!" And then the escort questions the king, "Should you now desert
your wife, you who fear to fail in virtue?"
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The king responds to the escort, "Not knowing ... Am I deserting a faithful
wife or turning to adultery?" He then asks his chaplain for a solution. The
chaplain agrees to host Shakuntala until her child is born, for the astrologers
had predicted that the king's first child is destined to be an emperor. Thus, the
chaplain advises the king that if the child is born with the imperial birthmarks,
he should acknowledge her as his wife.
However, feeling offended and disgraced, accusing her crushing fate,
Shakuntala pleads to the gods to remove her from the face of earth. Her wish
is granted.
Shortly, the spell is broken when, in the guts of a fish, a fisherman finds
the signet ring Shakuntala had lost on her way to the court. The king suffers
from an intense feeling of guilt and injustice as he recalls all that happened in
the ashram. The lovelorn king, lost in thought, wanders and wonders where
his expecting beloved wife, Shakuntala, might be. In endless pangs of
separation, Dushyanta orders spring not to arrive. Sighing, pining, painting his
sweetheart, he murmurs, "The path to happiness is strewn with obstacles. I
treated her with scorn and loathing. Now, over her pictured charms my heart
will burst: A traveler I who scorned the mighty river, and seeks in the mirage
to quench his thirst." Years go by. He lives stoically, though he must observe
the kingly duties.
Then one day, Dushyanta gets a message, "Heaven's king (Indra) is
powerless, you shall smite his foes in battle soon. Darkness that overcomes
the day is scattered by the moon."
He sets out on the mission and fulfills Indra's command. While returning
home, flying over the Gold Peak Mountain of the fairy centaurs, the king
experiences mysterious happiness and auspicious omens. He halts to visit the
holy hermits who lead their sacrificial life. As he walks towards the ashram,
he notices two hermit-women trying to control a child who is dragging a
struggling lion cub and commanding, "Open your mouth, cub. I want to count
your teeth."
"My heart goes out to this willful child," the king sighs and comes close to
the scene where a hermit-woman is asking the boy to let go of the cub, for she
will give him another toy. Saying, "Give it to me," the boy stretches his hand,
and the king notices the imperial birthmarks. As he converses with the women
about the boy, the women notice the divine and most potent amulet on the
child's wrist had fallen while he was harassing the lion cub. Finding it,
Dushyanta leans to pick it up. The hermit-women scream, "Oh! Don't, don't."
But by then he is already holding the amulet in his hand and asking the
females why they objected. He learns that the great sage had tied this charm at
birth on the child's wrist for protection. If it falls on the ground, no one may
touch it, except the boy's parents or the boy himself. And these females had
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witnessed more than once the amulet turning into a snake and stinging the
stranger who touched it.
Joyfully embracing his son, the king says, "Then why may I not welcome
my hopes fulfilled at last." But the boy resists, "Let me go. I want to see my
mother." The king replies, "My son, you shall go with me to greet your
mother." The rebellious boy responds, "Dushyanta is my father, not you."
Hearing the commotion, Shakuntala walks over. Seeing his beloved wife, the
king exclaims plaintively, "It is Shakuntala, the queen of my life!" All is well.
The family reunites in accord. The child is called Bharata, who reigns as an
emperor, and after whom India gets her name.
The Sanskrit poet Kalidasa retold this eternal love story from Mahabharata
in his immortal play Abhijnanashakuntalam (means "The Recognition of
Shakuntala") in the 5th century A.D. The play is about destiny with the right
touch of supernatural. The erotic rasa dominates the play, but we get the entire
spectrum of love from the sensual appeal of the early scenes to the dignity and
purification that come to the couple through separation and trial. And this is
one more example that proves the course of true love never runs smooth.
Happy Valentine's Day to all of us.
EASTER COLUMNS
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Easter marks resurrection of Jesus

Modern-day observance from two ancient traditions
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
Easter, the most solemn day on the Christian calendar, marks the
resurrection of Jesus Christ, an unequivocally recognized international scholar
and a voice of peace and harmony. Silent church bells, unlighted candles,
tokens of mourning for the crucified Christ on Good Friday are rung and lit at
the dawn of Easter to represent the splendor and glory of Christ's resurrection.
Easter falls on the first Sunday after the full moon that comes on or after
March 21. Newly kindled fire to light the Paschal candle and other candles
provides a symbolic end to darkness and reminds worshipers that the risen
Christ is the light of the world, overcoming death and the darkness of evil.
The Easter rabbit, eggs, seeds, flowers, especially lilies, evergreens and
Easter baskets filled with hearty foods are symbolically associated with
fertility, creation and renewal of life, representing the grace and beauty of
eternal life. Red and green are the colors of this festival. Red represents blood,
the blood of sacrifice and life; whereas, green symbolizes growth of plants.
Modern-day Easter is derived from two ancient traditions: one JudeoChristian and the other pagan. Both Christians and pagans have celebrated
death and resurrection themes following the spring equinox for millennia.
Spring equinox is also called vernal equinox, a Latin word meaning ''equal
night,'' i.e. day and night of equal length.
Spring equinox was considered the start of pagan new year. This was the
day of resurrection of the sun god from the underworld of winter. He met his
goddess Eostre or Eastre (East or Easter), who was the deity of dawn,
associated with new life. Easter is a time for springing new life and festivity.
This is the time when the earth wakes up from its sleep (winter), and the world
appears to be reborn. After a dry, frozen, sulky winter, Mother Nature, with
the arrival of spring, changes her sullen mood and her gray, worn-out clothing
to a brightly colored, natural green outfit. The sun shines, rivers flow, flowers
bloom, birds chirp and sing, new crops grow: the whole of nature is filled with
brightness, new life, and hope, proving that Easter is a victory of brightness
and awareness over the evil forces of darkness and ignorance, a resurrection
for all, since it brings a heart-warming message of hope and healing.
Let's keep in our hearts all that are involved, voluntarily or involuntarily, in
the combat and their families that are living every moment in anxiety and pray
for peace and stability to live in content with trust and security. Let's hope that
the warmth and love of Easter continue to flourish in our lives.
May the candle, consecrated in the honor of his name, continue to burn
endlessly to overcome ignorance and the darkness of evil. May the star of
dawn lead us in the right direction; grant us serenity to accept the things that
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we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to
know the difference.
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Crucifix, not a symbol of death

Good Friday, April 9, 2004
The crucifix reminds us of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, a scholar,

teacher, preacher, healer, and voice of peace and harmony. As resurrection
means becoming alive again after being dead, the crucifix is a sign of
positivism that energizes life with faith and hope. By the term crucifix, I am
referring to the cross in which Jesus was hung. Christians glory in and are
devoted to the cross of Jesus Christ, the prime symbol of Christ and his
crucifixion and, thus, of the Christian faith. George Dana Boardman writes,
The cross is the only ladder high enough to touch the heavens threshold.
The crucifix, though sums up all the grief and sorrow, stands eternally as a
celebration of obedience to the will of the Heavenly Father. It represents the
sacrifice Jesus made for the love of humanity, and forgiveness in the face of
mockery, antagonism, and torture. The crucifix is a sign of death fashioned
into a sign of divine ending. Faith is focused on the revelation of power in
weakness and love in the face of hatred. One of the golden rules Jesus
established here is Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you
(Mathew 7:12).
The gospels relate the story of what happened and the meaning behind the
events. On Palm Sunday, Jesus entered Jerusalem in all of his glory to the
excitement and joy of many people. He spent time preaching, teaching about
God, Heaven, and himself, the Son of God. Many heard him gladly, but some
didnt. Having previously said, I tell you, unless the grain of wheat falls into
the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much
fruit (John 12:24), he gives himself to be sacrificed as the Lamb of God and
then to rise eternally as Christ, the Good Shepherd.
The Gospels contain repeated references to instances of the foreseeing and
foretelling of Jesus: The Son of Man must undergo great suffering and be
rejected by the elders, chief priest and scribes, and be killed and on the third
day be raised (Luke 9:22). After ending Passover by eating the Last
Supper with his disciples and bidding his friend, Judas, to do whatever
needed to be done, Jesus went to the place called Gethsemane. Leaving his
disciples behind, he prayed in an olive grove, as was his custom: Father, if
you are willing, remove this cup from me; yet, not my will but yours be done
(Luke 22:42). Accepting the will of his Father, he continued, Father, the
hour has come; glorify your Son so that your son may glorify you. . I am
asking on their behalf. . All mine are yours and yours are mine; and I have
been glorified in them. And now I am no longer in the world. . Holy
Father, protect them in your name that you have given me (John 17:1, 9 -11).
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This evening is described as an evening of torment as Jesus faces his own

death. After prayers, he returned to his followers, telling them, The Son of
Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Get up. See my betrayer is at
hand (Mathew 26:45, 46). As Judas greeted Jesus and kissed him, Jesus was
arrested by militant forces.
When Jesus appeared before the Council, again the high priest asked him,
Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One? Jesus answered, I am;
and you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of the Power and
coming with the clouds of heaven. Then the high priest tore his clothes and
said, Why do we still need witnesses? You have heard his blasphemy! .All
of them condemned him as deserving death (Mark 14:61, 64).
He carried the cross of sacrifice and trod before all to assure them a place
in his Fathers house (John 14:2). He was whipped, mocked, scourged. And
realizing his kingly origin, they replaced the golden crown with a crown of
thorns. His throne also was exchanged for a wooden cross. His dying words,
I thirst, and Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are
doing (Luke 23:34), once again prove his desire for love and grace in
forgiveness. The uniqueness of Jesus is in absoluteness that comes to a
climax on the day called Good Friday, for the consequence of that great
sacrifice is redemption.
After the Sabbath was over and the sun had risen, they went to the tomb.
They saw that the stone had already been rolled back. As they entered the
tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side;
and they were alarmed. But he said to them, Do not be alarmed; you are
looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised (Mark
16:5, 6). The resurrection of Jesus is an ultimate miracle. The ringing of
church bells and the lighting of candles represent the splendor and glory of
Christs resurrection. Mark describes the ascension of Jesus: So then the
Lord Jesuswas taken up into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God.
When we think of Christs resurrection, we are reminded of the empty
tomb and the rolled-back stone. The cross tells us the story of resurrection and
the promise of miraculous liberation. Thus, the story behind Good Friday is
not merely the story of the Passion of Jesus; instead, it is the celebration of his
life. Easter reminds us that life should be interpreted in terms of ideals. The
resurrection doesnt only mean rising from death; it also means rising from
deadness, helplessness, and vengeance and restarting life with a new attitude
and renewed enthusiasm. Let the joy of the resurrection lead us from
loneliness, weakness, and despair to strength, beauty, and happiness by lifting
us to the spiritual height of Heaven. Easter is an eternal celebration of spring;
whereas, spring is an annual celebration of the rebirth of nature. Nature is
filled with brightness, new life, and hope, proving that Easter is a victory of
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brightness and awareness over the evil forces of darkness and ignorance for
all, a resurrection for all, since it brings a heart-warming message of hope and
healing.
Edna Reed expresses:
Thought for Easter
The breath of spring with woodsy tang and the new life everywhere
And spring glides on with magic touch oer mountain side and glen;
And wakens all the sleeping plants for Easter time again
.The flowers peep from darkened tombs to welcome Easter Day
Why should we dread the thing called death?
Its just an open door where all within is love and peace and joy
forever more
Because I live, you too shall live, we hear the Savior say
Let us consecrate our lives anew on this glad Easter Day.
Happy Easter to all of us.
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Easter is resurrection for all

Easter Sunday, March 27, 2005
resurrection of Jesus Christ, an unequivocally recognized international
scholar, a teacher, a preacher, a voice of peace and harmony. Church bells and
candles, tokens of mourning for the crucified Christ on Good Friday, are rung
and lit at the dawn of Easter to represent the splendor and glory of Christ's
resurrection.
The premonitions, as the Scriptures disclose events at his birth and
throughout his life, reflect Jesus' role on earth and his destined end. After
Jesus was born, wise men from the East came bearing gifts; they presented
him with gold, frankincense and myrrh. Studying the events that took place in
Jesus' life, one may wonder if these gifts serve the symbolic purpose of God's
plan for Jesus and show how deeply he cares. First, gold, an emblem of purity,
nobility, and wealth, honors his noble birth. Also, God knew that Mary and
Joseph would need money to take the baby Jesus to Egypt and live there for a
period of time. Second, frankincense was used in the making of incense.
Incense has been used on the altar to lift the prayers of saints to God. Jesus
lifts believers' prayers as incense unto God. Myrrh is used in the making of
perfume, the holy anointing oil (Exodus 30:23-25); it is also used as a
medicine to deaden pain and in the preparation and embalming of the bodies
of royal and distinguished individuals. Perhaps the gift of myrrh was meant to
represent the untold pain Jesus would suffer.
Seeing the 8-day-old Jesus at the temple, Simeon, a devout man who lived
in prayerful expectancy, blessed Mary: Behold this Child is set for the fall and
rise again for many in Israel; and for a sign which shall be spoken against;
(Yea, "a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also,") that the thoughts of
many hearts may be revealed (Luke 2:34, 35).
Also, the quotation from Mark 12:36: "The Lord said, 'Sit at my right hand,
until I put your enemies under your feet.'" These details, along the way,
foretell Jesus' life, torture and painful crucifixion. But Jesus stands unique for
his unwavering faith in God: "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from
me; yet, not my will but yours be done" (Luke 22:42), accepts his Father's
will: "Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son so that your Son may
glorify you. I am asking on their behalf. All mine are yours and yours are
mine. Holy Father, protect them in your name" (John 17:1, 9-11), and proves
his determination to fulfill his Father's mission.
Jesus was whipped, mocked and scourged. And realizing his kingly origin,
they replaced the golden crown with a crown of thorns and exchanged his
throne for a wooden cross. His dying words, "I thirst," and "Father, forgive
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them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34), once again
prove his passion for love and grace in forgiveness. The uniqueness of Jesus is
in absoluteness that comes to a climax on the day called Good Friday, for the
consequences of that great sacrifice is redemption.
Tolerance and endurance were his lessons, and redemption was his
mission. In the face of pain and suffering, the meekness of a lamb, love,
mercy, and forgiveness were his weapons. He touched and resurrected the
souls of humanity by his exemplary life and assured them a place in his
Father's house (John 14:2). The message here is of eternity. Being the Son of
God, he taught others how to be God's children by doing their Father's works
and how to inherit the Heavenly Father's eternal treasure. His authority was
"The Father and I are one. I am God's Son. I do the works of my Father -- so
that the Father is in me and I am in the Father" (John 10:30-38).
His role reflected his belief and values. The highest principle of religion is
to surrender unto Him only: "Do not let your hearts be troubled.
Believe in God." (John 14:1). He professes, "I have come as light into the
world...." (John 12:46). "I have not spoken on my own, but the Father who
sent me has himself given me a commandment about what to say and what to
speak" (John 12:49). As commanded, Jesus sat at his Father's right hand to
enact his fitting role, until the Father put his enemies under his feet and
reserved the seat at His left hand for Jesus to occupy eternally as the Holy
Ghost.
Easter reminds us that life should be interpreted in terms of ideals. The
resurrection does not only mean rising from death; it also means rising from
deadness, helplessness, vengeance and restarting life with a new attitude and
renewed enthusiasm. Let the joy of resurrection lead us from loneliness,
weakness, and despair to strength, beauty, and happiness by lifting us to the
spiritual height of heaven. Easter is an eternal celebration of spring whereas
spring is an annual celebration of the rebirth of nature. Nature is filled with
brightness, new life and hope, proving that Easter is a victory of brightness
and awareness over the evil forces of darkness and ignorance for all, a
resurrection for all, since it brings a heart-warming message of hope and
healing.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Jesus, a meek Lamb?

With the words It is written, My house shall be called a house of prayer,

but you are making it a den of robbers, (Matthew 21:13), Jesus stormed into
the outer court of the temple, overturned the tables, and cast the vendors out.
Previously Jesus had proclaimed, Do not think that I have come to bring
peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword (Matthew
10:34). Considering this behavior, one might wonder if this is an act of a
meek lamb or the kind of message a Prince of Peace would bring!
Coming to the outer court of the temple, Jesus saw stalls bustling with
merchants and witnessed some exchanging the pilgrims money for temple
coins and others selling pigeons and lambs that were part of the Passover
sacrifice. Furiously he drove out all who were buying and selling in the
temple. He denounced the actions of scribes and Pharisees, called them
hypocrites and condemned their method of taxation. He went so far as to
describe how they loved to have the place of honor at banquets and the best
seats in the synagogues, to be greeted with respect in the marketplace, and to
have people call them rabbi. He advised his followers not to call them rabbi or
father. You have one Fatherthe one in Heaven (Matthew 23:2). Jesus
foretells the destruction of the temple by God, because they are not practicing
justice.
Annals of scripture and mythology have prophesied and history has
evidenced that whenever and wherever there is a decline in religious practice a
great entity comes to address the decline in righteousness. The entity
recognizes that his time on earth is limited. He is here only to carry on the
mission of his Father to fulfill His will to proclaim the kingdom of God,
meaning the powerful presence and rule of God. At times these entities are
recognized as the incarnation of the Supreme Lord, but Jesus addressed
himself: Son of God, Son of Man, Son of David, and Messiah.
The purpose of Jesus time on earth as a humble, wise, and fearless Jewish
preacher from a small town in rural Galilee was to establish godly order by
uplifting declining righteousness. He traveled the countryside, reaching out to
the common people, including the outcasts, the unpopular and downtrodden of
his time. Many came to see him as the long-promised savior who would usher
in the Kingdom of God. Learning that things were not going as they were
supposed to by the order of his Father, Jesus became furious and spoke about
power, privilege, and recognition. He championed the poor and oppressed and
defied the corrupt oppressors. The difference between Jesus responses when
he was asked if he was the Messiah during his Sermon on the Mount(his
meek answer, I am a good shepherd; a good shepherd lays his life down for
his sheep) and his response to the high priest during his trial when he was
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brought before the council (I am; and you will see the Son of Man seated at
the right hand of the Power and coming with the clouds of heaven) highlights
his diverse attitudes toward different groups of peoples.
The Gospels relate the story of what happened and the meaning behind the
events. On Palm Sunday Jesus, riding a donkey, a symbol of peace, entered
Jerusalem in all of his glory to the excitement and joy of many people. He
spent time preaching and teaching about God, Heaven and himself, the Son of
God. For those who gathered to hear Jesus speak that week, it would have
been a message of hope, a promise of liberation from sickness, poverty, and
oppression, but everyone who heard Jesus preach was not pleased. The
Roman authorities perceived him as a threat and conspired to arrest him.
As Roman troops arrived to arrest Jesus, his followers tried to defend him
by crying out, Lord shall we draw our sword? (Luke 22:47-57). Jesus
response, Put your sword back into its place; for all who take the sword will
perish by the sword (Matthew 26:52) illustrates that he wasnt building a
militia to overthrow the Roman Empire. He was born only to fulfill the
prophecy, i.e. to establish godly order and peace.
The Beatitudes he taught, for example, Blessed are the pure in heart, for
those shall see God and Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be
called sons of God, shed light on Jesus teachings and his life. He was as
meek as a lamb when it came to serving his Father in Heaven and the low on
the earth that looked up to him. Undoubtedly pure in heart, Jesus proclaims, I
am Gods Son. I do the works of my Father.so that the Father is in me
and I am in the Father (John 10:30-38). Jesus came to the earth as a
peacemaker; he is called Son of God. The quality of life that is described in
The Sermon on the Mount is the necessary product of grace alone. And
grace is never accomplished without peace. And the 10th Beatitude states,
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the
kingdom of heaven. Jesus is persecuted for righteousness sake. Now, his is
the kingdom of Heaven, for the Heavenly Father has reserved the seat at His
left hand for Jesus to occupy eternally as the Holy Ghost, which proves that
divine life is stronger than death itself.
The meekness that Jesus speaks about is not to be confused with the
dullness of mind that leads a person simply to accept without questioning
whatever the world presents him. The blessed meekness praised by Jesus is
a state of advanced personality integration in which one is so profoundly in
tune with cosmic wills that he has no need to assert his ego. Ever guided by
the Divine hand, he carries out the Will of God with the innocent meekness of
a sheep driven by the Great ShepherdGod, the Divine Self.
Loving, praying for, and forgiving those who betrayed him, spitefully used
him, and persecuted him, Jesus taught others to love, pray for and forgive not
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only neighbors but also enemies. The uniqueness of Jesus is in the

absoluteness that comes to a climax on the day called Good Friday. His death
is good, for it fits his sacrificial role and the consequence of that great
sacrifice is redemption. Tolerance and endurance were his lessons; redemption
was his mission. Even in the face of mockery, pain, torture, and death, he
became an ambassador of love, mercy, forgiveness, and peace.
resurrection of Jesus Christ, an unequivocally recognized international
scholar, a teacher, a preacher, a voice of peace and harmony. He touched the
soul of humanity through spirituality. Easter exemplifies the victory of
righteousness over evil and reminds us that life should be interpreted in terms
of ideals. It stands as a defeat of death, a defeat of evil.
Easter is an eternal celebration of spring, whereas spring is an annual
celebration of the rebirth of nature. Nature is filled with brightness, new life
and hope, proving that Easter is a victory of brightness and awareness over the
evil forces of darkness and ignorance, a resurrection for all, since it brings a
heart-warming message of hope, healing, and peace.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Birth, the messenger of death

Palm Sunday, April 1, 2007
I was tying up a few loose ends on Christmas Eve, when I ended up eating
late lunch by myself. I habitually reached for the remote and pressed the On
button. Whipped, mocked and scourged, stumbling and falling, carrying his
cross to Calvary, in torn clothes, Jesus appeared on American Movie Classics
channel. Dumbfounded, I wondered if its Christmas! Christmas, Christs
birth, is a blissful occasion; whereas Good Friday, Christs crucifixion, is a
solemn occasion.
As I viewed the anarchy of the busy and crowded street scene, I noticed the
actor Charlton Heston standing among the pilgrims and realized that the
movie, Ben-Hur: A tale of the Christ was coming to its conclusion.
Even after the movie ended, the deep sadness lingered and made me reflect
on life, death, and in between.
Although childbirth is a joyous occasion, the Bible puts it in perspective
with the comments: A good name is better than precious ointment; and the
day of death than the day of ones birth. (Eccl. 7:1) At birth all of us have
inherited flaws and sins from our own past Karma and ancestors. (Job 14:1-4)
We are born outside of Gods favor with the prospect of a brief trouble filled
life and then death, (Rom. 5:12) so the imperfect life we have seen at birth is
not really life at all from Gods point of view. Thats why a good name with
God is so important! If ones life has been spent acquiring such a name, at
the end of such worthwhile life, it can truly be said that the death is better
than the day of ones being born. Such a person has the sure hope of a
resurrection to live again. (Isa. 26:19) And perhaps this is why each human
enters earth crying and departs, if life is well lived, in contentment with a
smile, making others cry.
The early Christians, reportedly, didnt celebrate Jesus birthday. They
asked if it would be better to seek and rejoice in a good relationship with God
than to celebrate a birth date. After all, we are but a mist from his standpoint
appearing for a little while and then disappearing. (Jas. 4:14)
Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting; / The soul that rises with us,
our lifes star, / Hath had elsewhere its setting, / and cometh from afar
Not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory we come from God, who is our home,
writes Emily Dickenson.
Birth is the messenger of death, says a Syrian proverb. Each birth is
marked by death. Righteous lives live their entire life with an eye on that
ultimate reward: Live eternally in the presence of the Heavenly Father. The
crucifix, though, sums up all the grief and sorrow, stands eternally as a
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celebration of obedience to the will of the Heavenly Father. Jesus role

reflected his belief and values. The highest principle of religion is to surrender
unto Him only: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God." (John
14:1). "I have not spoken on my own, but the Father who sent me has himself
given me a commandment about what to say and what to speak" (John 12:49),
assured Jesus.
Jesus called himself Messiah Son of God. He came with a sword to
challenge the oppressors and to serve the poor and downtrodden with the
meekness of a lamb. He promised them the new kingdom of God and a seat at
the table in his Fathers mansion. He preached about loving one another and
forgiveness. One of the golden rules Jesus established here is, "Do unto others
as you would have them to do unto you." (Mathew 7:12). His dying words, "I
thirst," and "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing"
(Luke 23:34), once again prove his desire for love and grace in forgiveness.
For the righteous, death is not an ending but rather a well-earned passage into
the eternal company of his Heavenly Father.
As commanded, Jesus fulfilled his mission by sitting at his Father's right
hand to enact his role, until the Father put his enemies under his feet and
reserved the seat at His left hand for Jesus to occupy eternally as the Holy
Ghost. The uniqueness of Jesus is in absoluteness that comes to a climax on
the day called Good Friday, for the consequences of that great sacrifice is
redemption.
resurrection of Jesus Christ, also recognized internationally as a scholar and a
voice of peace and harmony. Silent church bells, unlighted candles, tokens of
mourning for the crucified Christ on Good Friday, are rung and lit at the dawn
of Easter to represent the splendor and glory of Christ's resurrection, a
symbolic end to darkness and reminds worshipers that the risen Christ is the
light of the world, overcoming death and the darkness of evil.
resurrection doesn't only mean rising from death; it also means rising from
deadness, helplessness, and vengeance and restarting life with a new attitude
and renewed enthusiasm. Let the joy of the resurrection lead us from
loneliness, weakness, and despair to strength, beauty, and happiness by lifting
us to the spiritual height of Heaven. Easter is an eternal celebration of spring;
whereas, spring is an annual celebration of the rebirth of nature. Nature is
filled with brightness, new life, and hope, proving that Easter is a victory of
healing.
Let's hope that the warmth and love of Easter continue to flourish in our lives.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Judas, so-called villain

Palm Sunday, April 1, 2007
We all watched on television and read about how the media created frenzy
at the discovery of The Gospel of Judas in April, 2006. The new text stirred
the traditional Christian beliefs about Judas Iscariot, one of Jesus twelve
disciples. The media-created-frenzy made me rethink if Judas really is a
villain.
The Bibles New Testament gospels portray Judas as a villain and show him
scolded by Jesus, "Alas for that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed. It
would be better for that man if he had never been born," (Mark 14:21). Judas
returns the bribe, 30 pieces of silver, and ends his life by committing suicide.
Dante in the Inferno condemns Judas for eternity to the lowest circle of hell.
And Judas is doomed to be chewed headfirst by the triple-headed Satan,
Lucifer.
On the contrary, the Gospel of Judas depicts him as a divinely appointed
instrument of a grand and predetermined purpose. The Gospel of Judas
portrays Judas Iscariot as a liberator, acting at Jesus request. Jesus longed
to be set free from the prison of the soul, this physical shell, to be a pure
spirit. In private conversation, as the new text reads, Jesus tells Judas he will
share with him alone the mysteries of the kingdom. Three days before he
celebrated Passover, Jesus assured Judas, You will exceed all of them. For
you will sacrifice the man that clothes me, and asked Judas to hand him over
to the Roman authorities.
In this text, Judas has a terrible task to fulfill. Expressing terror, Judas tells
Jesus that he had dreamt that the other disciples, filled with hate, will stone
him to death. This is part of the burden that you bear. But they will be wrong
about that, consoles Jesus. Now this is an extraordinary transformation of the
ordinary understanding of Judas Iscariot.
Despite the literary views, let us revisit the biblical facts to reevaluate
Judas status. The Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but the woe to that
one by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! (Matthew 26:24) and as before the
arrest, Jesus says, Friend, do what you are here to do, (Matthew 26:49).
These words show Jesus acceptance of his destiny, as he reminds Judas to
execute his destined duty, and concern about Judas plight after he plays his
role. In addition, its hard to believe that whipped, mocked and scourged,
righteous Jesus, an epitome of grace, who ends his ephemeral pilgrimage
asking forgiveness for his persecutors ("Father, forgive them, for they do not
know what they are doing." Luke 23:34) and would not forgive his friend
Judas.
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Annals of scriptures and mythology have prophesied and history has

evidenced that whenever and wherever there is a decline in religious practice a
great entity comes to address the decline in righteousness. The entity
recognizes that his time on earth is limited. His birth, death and the pilgrimage
in between is destined by his Heavenly Fathers will. He is here only to carry
on the mission of his Father to fulfill His will to proclaim the kingdom of
God, meaning the powerful presence and rule of God. At times these entities
are recognized as the incarnation of the Supreme Lord, but Jesus addressed
himself: Son of God, Son of Man, Son of David and Messiah.
The purpose of Jesus time on earth as a humble, wise, and fearless Jewish
preacher from a small town in rural Galilee was to establish godly order by
uplifting declining righteousness. He traveled the countryside, reaching out to
the common people, including the outcasts, the unpopular and downtrodden of
his time. In the end, when he realized his role had been played out, Jesus
ended it peacefully, with grace.
So now, the question, ignoring the newly revealed text, is was Judas really
a villain or did he just enact his designated role. Now, doesnt the question
asked by Jesus, Am I not to drink the cup that the Father has given me?
(John 18:11) apply to every believer, including Judas. Its not easy for anyone
to play a villain, though destined. However, everyone must play his/her part to
fulfill the Heavenly Fathers will!
Here is another literary ending for Judas life. Reynolds Price, a novelist
biblical scholar, who translated the Greek text of Mark and John, and then
wrote his own narrative in three gospels (1996), was asked to take another
look at episodes in Jesus life and craft a new Gospel based on historical
evidence and his reading of the Bible. To his writing Jesus of Nazareth: Then
and Now, he adds a chapter in which his imagination takes leap into an
unexplored moment after Christs Resurrection:
Judas Iscariot is unsuccessfully throwing the rope up and over the
strong limb. He mustnt fail at this too. Maybe five minutes passed
he was sweating anyhow when a mans voice spoke from close
behind him, Need any help? the voice was too familiar. This
man looked utterly new, just born at sunrise this April Sunday.
The man nudged Judas lightly aside then reached up and tied the
appropriate knot. When the man finished, he raised both hands and
said, Jude, go to your father now; he will need you for planting. The
others wont harm you; Ill warn them off.
The mans upright hands were pierced with deep wounds, just
below the palms. Finally, the voice said, Ive come to you first.
Judas said. If you pardon me, help me leave then. Hed need to climb
the tree to make it work. The man said, Ill lift you. He did that with
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no strain at all, and he stood in reach of Judas arms till the last breath
failed, but Judas never once reached toward him.
Regardless of the newly discovered text and the lost tomb of Jesus, for that
matter, which hint Jesus did not just submit to the will of God in his life, but
actually got his hands on the wheel and drove the wheel of history in a
particular direction and the remains uncovered suggest that Jesus may have
been buried with a wife, Mary Magdalene and son as well, will not alter the
matter of spirit and soul. It does not change Christian theology.
Easter brings a message of faith and hope. Christians predominantly
believe that Jesus is God incarnate who came to provide salvation and
reconciliation with God for the sins of humanity with his death. His death at
Calvary was Good Friday, for the consequence of that great sacrifice is
redemption.
Faith is a free gift of God. What is faith but belief in that which thou seest
not, asks St. Augustine. Faith is what one believes in. Its the Christian faith
that has resurrected Christ in spirit and in body as well! And that faith must
be held high!
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Walking in the footsteps of Jesus

Good Friday, March 21, 2008
The Gospels portray Christs death as the culmination of his mission, the
final act of selfless love, and his endless dedication to serve humanity, and
ultimately the Heavenly Father. Jesus, a humble, wise, and fearless Jewish
preacher, was arrested by Roman authorities and publicly executed by
crucifixion.
His dealings and anguish during this period are called the passion, which
ultimately made his 40 days ministry lasting. Believing the passion
represents human suffering and gives meaning and hope to all human
suffering, a devout Christian prays on the Stations of the Cross, as he reflects
on following Jesus on his way to Calvary and reliving the anguish and pain
Christ felt.
Thinking of someone walking in Christs rugged path, I remembered Pope
John Paul II and the last couple of days of his life. I could never forget
watching on television a crowd outside the Vatican representing the
extraordinary mix of faiths, cultures, nationality and status that John Paul
courted during his 26-year papacy. All were waiting looking in the same
direction, as they talked, laughed and wiped their tears. The assemblage
proved, He was all peoples father.
When the Vaticans Friday, April 1 (2005) bulletin at 6:30 a.m.
characterized Pope John Pauls condition as very serious, within a few
hours, news organizations set up their tents in the vicinity, as close as they
could get in St. Peters Square, and the avenue leading to St. Peters Square
became crammed with thousands of pilgrims.
Acknowledging that there was little hope for the popes recovery, they
stayed all night in quiet and moving vigils. It was obvious that many were
there not just to pray for him but also to pray to him, for they thought of the
pontiff as a living saint.
I wondered what made this man so great! The TV news organizations
talked with the people the pope grew up with and those who surrounded him
shed lights on intimate corners of his spiritual life. However, I became curious
to learn a little more about his life.
Karol Jozef Wojtyla was born on May 18, 1920, in Wadowice, Poland, in
an apartment looking over the Church of Our Lady, where he would worship
and serve as an altar boy. His mother, Emilia, adored him, taught him to cross
himself, and read Scripture with him. She told her neighbors her second son
will be a great man someday.
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Karols mother died when he was 8. Turning away from disappointment

and loss, Karol began his lifelong devotion to the Virgin and experienced an
intense mystical spirituality.
When Karol was 12, Edmund, his 26-year-old brother who shared his
passion for theater and soccer, died of scarlet fever. As pope, John Paul II told
an audience that the impact of his brothers death was perhaps even deeper
than my mothers.
After his mothers death, his father, Karol Senior, devoted himself solely to
his sons upbringing. The lieutenant was a force for rectitude and piety, one of
several key influences in Wojtylas religious life. As pope, John Paul II
remembered:
Day after day, I was able to observe the austere way in which he
lived. By profession he was a soldier and, after my mothers death, his
life became one of constant prayer. Sometimes I would wake up
during the night and find my father on his knees, just as I would
always see him kneeling in the parish church. We never spoke about a
vocation to the priesthood, but his example was in a way my first
seminary, a kind of domestic seminary.
When Karol was 20, his father died. Belonging to the generation which
breathed oppression and defeat in the air around him and before he shaped his
own life choices, Karol lost all his loved ones. His suffering was an invitation
to mercy. It fatefully bound him to his beloved Polands anguished destiny.
the Polish people for 200 years have been a victim-people,
partitioned between Germany and Russia, religiously oppressed,
enslaved, abandoned by the world at the beginning of the Second
World War. And that experience of desolation is part and parcel of the
religious desolation of the East He feels he has given the churches
of the East a special vision, a special access to the Gospel of the
Crucified . Personal suffering for him chimed in perfectly and
became an image of this greater vocation to the suffering of the
churches of the East, write Jane Barnes and Helen Whitney in John
Paul II: His Life and Papacy.
His terrible losses mounted, each mortal blow to Wojtylas
identity, each leaving a mournful deposit, each associated with
consoling Polish myth: Marys enduring compassion, the promise of
national redemption the surviving power of the Polish language, they
add.
Karol was raised where Catholics and Jews lived in proximity. He went to
school with Jews. The popes lifelong friendship with Jerzy Kluger is always
asserted as indisputable evidence that John Paul II never had to overcome any
limitations in his relation to the Jews. One of the famous stories about their
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friendship is told: Learning that Karol was going to be in his class, young
Jerzy ran to inform his friend, who was serving at Mass. Seeing a Jewish boy
in church, an old woman eyed him disapprovingly. As the mass ended, Jerzy
ran up to the altar to tell Karol his good news. When Jerzy mentioned the old
womans disapproval, Maybe she was surprised to see a Jew in church.
Why! responded Karol with a laugh. Arent we all Gods children?
A man of countless talents, a poet, athlete, actor and author with deep
theological and philosophical insight and equipped with fluency in (at least)
eight languages, the pontiff traveled the world reaffirming the Roman
Catholic message of salvation to millions more. In an era of wars, violence,
and natural disasters, John Paul relentlessly spoke for peace and reconciliation
for the poor and the depressed. John Pauls emphatic message was Choose
love over hate, for hatred and malice destroy the human race; choose good
over evil, for goodness always survives over evil. Having faith in goodness
transcends everything we know every defeat, every fear, and every illness.
With his faith and trust, he established an electrical connection with hundreds
of millions, causing an observer to make note of his magnetic power and
prophetic strength. He declined to embrace change uncritically, prefiguring
a lifelong love-hate relationship with the modern era in a speech describing it
as, new in good [and] new in evil. Even those who disagreed with his goals
were touched by his goodness.
He was shot in 1981 by the Turkish gunman Mehmet Ali Agca. The pontiff
was convinced that Our Lady of Fatima saved his life; he never stopped
expressing his gratitude to his spiritual Mother. The faith is like a strike of
lightning, illuminating everything, was the Pontiffs reverie. The pope
insisted that God exists and yearns for human contact and without it human
beings cannot themselves live. He believed man cannot be good without God.
He pursued Gods truth fearlessly with stunning purity of purpose. Later, the
pope visited Agca in jail to forgive him.
He was the first pope to visit a mosque; however, his most persistent and
eloquent outreach was to Jews. He was the first modern pontiff to enter a
synagogue and establish diplomatic relations with Israel. Referring to Jews as
Christians elder brothers, he supported clearing Jews of deicide and
reaffirming Judaisms integrity. The pope courageously revisited his painful
past in 2000. During a trip to the Holy Land, the pontiff, shedding tears,
prayed and slipped a note into Jerusalems Western Wall affirming that God
chose the Jews and asked for forgiveness for their long suffering. His
compassion made him a popular and powerful leader. What a difference he
made, considering that when he grew up local churches recited the Good
Friday Reproaches, cried Christ Killers, and called the Jewish of
pernicious race.
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His love for Jesus, the Prince of Peace, and humanity, his suffering,
forgiveness, humility, simplicity while still steadfast with his faith and
principles, made him a great human entity. His formative words, Why!
Arent we all Gods children? from adolescence and lasting efforts to prove
those words didnt emerge just from his head but from the heart raised John
Pauls papacy to such a height.
With no desire to return to the hospital for a third time in two months even
as his fever rose and his heart failed, he lay with his head propped up on
pillows, blessing his disciples as they knelt at his bedside, and being blessed
by them. He received the sacrament reserved for the dying, heard the Stations
of the Cross, slipping in and out of consciousness, breathing shallowly with
his final halting words, You have come to me, and I thank you, (No one
could know if he was talking to his brothers around him, the pilgrims outside,
or the waiting Lord above.) Pilgrim Karol Jozef Wojtyla ended his journey
(Saturday night, April 2, 2005) proving his greatness in death as he did in life.
Thus, came his mothers prediction to fruition.
So powerful was his vision that even his death cried out to be
interpreted in Christological terms. After all, he had already turned his lifes
final decade [as he struggled with Parkinsons disease since 1984] into an
object lesson in the dignity of suffering whereby a stooped shuffle and a
slurred voice could be understood . [His] supporters glimpsed the glory of
Christs sacrifice for humanity. Similarly, so incandescent was his faith that
believers, through tears, could easily understand his death not as an ending but
rather as a well-earned passage into the company of his God and his beloved
mother Mary, writes David Van Biema in A Defender of Faith.
We must not fail to express our gratitude to the Heavenly Father for
gracefully sharing this great man and his smile lit by love for humanity with
us for 84 years.
Happy Easter to us.
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Upholding the Dancer while dancing the dance

Annals of scripture and mythology have prophesied and history has

evidenced that whenever and wherever there is a decline in religious practice,
a great entity comes to address it. The entity recognizes that, though equipped
with divine character, he is human and his time on earth is limited. He is here
just to dance the dance as assigned to him by his Dancer. Upholding the
Dancer, he is to carry on the mission to fulfill His will, to proclaim His
kingdom, meaning the powerful presence and rule of the Dancer, the
Heavenly Father. At times, these entities are recognized as the incarnation of
the Supreme Lord, but Jesus addressed himself as Son of God, Son of Man,
Son of David and Messiah.
Thus, the purpose of Jesus' time on earth as a humble, wise and fearless
Jewish preacher from a small town in rural Galilee was to establish godly
order by uplifting declining righteousness, uniting all sheep in one flock under
the leadership of one Shepherd and teaching all how to become children of
God. He traveled the countryside, reaching out to the common people,
including the outcasts. The Gospels record when Jesus saw the crowds, he
went up the mountain, and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. Then
he began to address them.
The Beatitudes, from Latin "beatitudo," is the name given to the wellknown, definitive and beginning portion of the Sermon on the Mount in the
Gospel of Matthew. Some are also recorded in the Gospel of Luke. In the
Beatitudes, Jesus taught, for example, "Blessed are the meek, for they shall
possess the land" (verse 4), "Blessed are the clean of heart, for those shall see
God" (verse 8), "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the
children of God" (verse 9) and "Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after
justice, for they shall have their fill" (verse 6).
He was as meek as a lamb when it came to serving both his Father in
heaven and the low on the earth that looked up to him. He expressed his
hunger and thirst for justice unequivocally. With the words, "It is written, 'My
house shall be called a house of prayer,' but you are making it a den of
robbers," (Matthew 21:13), Jesus stormed into the outer court of the temple,
overturned the tables and cast the vendors out. Undoubtedly pure in heart,
Jesus proclaimed, "I am God's Son ... I do the works of my Father ... so that
the Father is in me and I am in the Father" (John 10:30-38). Jesus came to the
earth as a peacemaker; he is recognized as "Prince of Peace." The quality of
life that is described in the Sermon on the Mount is the necessary product of
grace alone. And grace is never accomplished without peace. The
"peacemakers" are those who not only live in peace with others but also do
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their best to preserve peace and friendship among mankind and between God
and man, and to restore it when it has been disturbed.
It is on account of this godly work, "an imitating of God's love of man" as
St. Gregory of Nyssa stated it, that they shall be called the sons of god,
"children of your Father who is in heaven" (Matthew 5:45). And the 10th
Beatitude states, "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness'
sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Jesus was persecuted for
righteousness' sake. Christians believe his is the kingdom of heaven; the
Heavenly Father has reserved the seat at His left hand for Jesus to occupy
eternally as the Holy Ghost, which proves that divine life is stronger than
death itself.
The "meekness" that Jesus spoke about is not to be confused with the
dullness of mind that leads a person simply to accept without questioning
whatever the world presents him. The blessed "meekness" praised by Jesus is
a state of advanced personality integration in which one is so profoundly in
tune with cosmic wills that he has no need to assert his ego. Ever guided by
the divine hand, he carries out the will of God with the innocent meekness of a
sheep driven by the Great Shepherd -- God, the Divine Self. Jesus talked in his
Sermon on the Mount about the blessed ones who possess an inward
contentedness and joy that is not affected by physical circumstances.
Each of the Beatitudes presents a situation in which the person described
(i.e. "Blessed are the poor in spirit ... " in verse 3) would not be described by
the world as "blessed," yet Jesus declares that they truly are blessed with a
blessing that outlasts any type of blessing this world has to offer. The reward
for having faith in moral perfection is the fulfillment of the desire for
continuous growth in holiness. The inheritance offered to the blessed ones is a
symbol of the Kingdom of Heaven, the spiritual realm of the Messiah.
"Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted" (verse 5). Here,
the reasons for mourning are not to be drawn from the miseries of a life of
poverty, abjection and subjection, but rather the pious ones suffer to see
humans inflicted by the tremendous evil throughout the world. To such
mourners, Jesus carries the comfort of the heavenly kingdom.
Jesus is a blend of human and divine. Whipped, mocked and scourged, he
bleeds and feels hurt. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" he
cries out. Urging, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; yet,
not my will but yours be done" (Luke 22:42), he accepts his Father's will. His
dying words, "I thirst," and "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what
they are doing" (Luke 23:34), once again prove his passion for love and grace
in forgiveness.
Tolerance and endurance were his lessons, and redemption was his
mission. As his teachings reflect, "Blessed are the merciful: for they shall
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obtain mercy," (verse 7). In the face of pain and suffering, the meekness of a
lamb, love, mercy and forgiveness were his weapons. He touched and
resurrected the souls of humanity by his exemplary life and assured them a
place in his Father's house (John 14:2). The message here is of eternity. Being
the Son of God, he taught others how to be God's children and how to inherit
the eternal treasure by doing their Father's works. His authority was "The
Father and I are one ... I am God's Son ... I do the works of my Father ... so
that the Father is in me and I am in the Father" (John 10:30-38). The
uniqueness of Jesus is in absoluteness that comes to a climax on the day called
Good Friday. His death is "good," for it fits his sacrificial role, and the
consequence of that great sacrifice is redemption. Unfalteringly, upholding the
Dancer, he dances the destined dance. Jesus stands unique for his unwavering
faith in the Dancer.
Standing as a defeat of death, the evil, Easter exemplifies the victory of
righteousness over evil and reminds us that life should be interpreted in terms
of ideals. Easter marks the victory of good over evil and brings an awareness
of how to maximize the potential of life and earn the grace of God.
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The return of The Prodigal Son

Easter Sunday, April 24, 2011
Thinking about writing an Easter column, I thought of a return of The

Prodigal Son from Jesus Sermon on the Mount. And when my thoughts
about the wasteful son lingered, I was surprised to realize how my
interpretation of the fable has changed during the course of time.
The younger of the two sons asks his father for his share of wealth that he
would inherit, so the father divides all that he had between his two sons.
Immediately after receiving his share of the wealth, the younger son goes off
to a far country where he spends everything he had on wasteful luxury, wild
and foolish living. Thus, he becomes a pauper. His so-called friends
disappear. His suffering begins. He starves, though he works as a slave; if he
is fed, he is forced to eat the food, which even animals wouldnt eat.
Recalling that back at home his fathers servants were fed with plenty of
good food, the prodigal son returns to his fathers house, hoping that his father
would hire him as one of his servants. Noticing his sons approaching, father
runs towards him with his arms stretched in embrace. Father, I have sinned
against heaven and before you, and I am no more worthy to be called your
son, repents the prodigal son.
The prodigal sons father orders the servants to bring the boy the best of
everything in the house and asks the cooks to prepare the finest meat, which
meant even killing the fatted calf, the prize of the herd. He commands a great
feast with music and dancing, saying, Let us eat and be merry.
As the elder son returns from a long hard days work and realizes the cause
of all the merrymaking, he expresses his annoyance to his father: These
many years I have served you without disobeying anything you ordered; yet,
you have never given me even a young goat to have a feast for my friends.
Son, the father explains, you have served me ever by being with me. Its
proper that we should make merry now, for your dead brother has come back
to life. He was lost and is found.
When I read the fable for the first time in my childhood, I too was rather
disappointed, as was the elder son. Believing in poetic justice, I innocently
thought that the only one who deserves the respect and rewards is one who
leads his life abiding by the morals and justice set by society. I thought people
ought to be rewarded or punished according to how closely they followed or
thwarted the moral codes set by their society. Thus, I couldnt understand why
the prodigal son received a lavish welcome; whereas, the loyal one never was
celebrated in his fathers eye.
As I matured, I came to understand the complexity involved in matters like
faith, religion and spirituality. Nothing is as plain as black and white. The fact
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is God loves all. He loves not only those who dutifully serve him but also the
disobedient ones who sin. And at times these gone-astray-characters are
celebrated and used as poster children to educate the rest of us about the
difference between the life on this earth and the afterlife in the Gods house.
Jesus talks about John the Baptist: Truly, I tell you, among those born of
women no one has arisen greater than John the Baptist; yet the least in the
kingdom of heaven is greater than he (Matthew 11:11). One cant help but
wonder about the contradiction in these two statements. How can a person
who just has been born again be greater in the kingdom of heaven than John
the Baptist?
The answer is prior to the death, burial, and resurrection Jesus called
himself, son of man, though along with several other titles, and proclaimed
time-and-again that he was here to serve the Heavenly Father, to deliver his
Fathers message. All those who served the God were considered the
Heavenly Fathers servants. As born again they still may serve the Heavenly
Father, but its from the position of a son or a daughter. . He destined us
for adoption as his children through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:5). Thus,
undoubtedly, a son in any household is greater than a servant. However, the
one who is born again receives the spirit of sonship, son-hood, authenticity.
The born again becomes a child of God. A child may serve his Father, but he
will never be a servant. The difference is a servant normally does his assigned
duties for wages; however, a son works hard for free to please his father, in
order to claim his inheritance.
Jesus, as teacher and philosopher, touched and resurrected the souls of
humanity by his exemplary life and assured them a place in his Father's house
(John 14:2). The message here is of eternity. Being the Son of God, he taught
others how to be God's children by doing their Father's works and how to
inherit the Heavenly Father's eternal treasure. His authority was "The Father
and I are one. I am God's Son. I do the works of my Father -- so that the
Father is in me and I am in the Father" (John 10:30-38).
His role reflected his belief and values. The highest principle of religion is
to surrender unto Him only: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in
God." (John 14:1). He professes, "I have come as light into the world...."
(John 12:46). "I have not spoken on my own, but the Father who sent me has
himself given me a commandment about what to say and what to speak" (John
12:49). As commanded, Jesus sat at his Father's right hand to enact his fitting
role, until the Father put his enemies under his feet and reserved the seat at
His left hand for Jesus to occupy eternally as the Holy Ghost.
resurrection does not only mean rising from death; it also means rising from
deadness, helplessness, vengeance and restarting life with a new attitude and
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renewed enthusiasm. Let the joy of resurrection lead us from loneliness,

weakness, and despair to strength, beauty, and happiness by lifting us to the
spiritual height of heaven. Easter is an eternal celebration of spring whereas
spring is an annual celebration of the rebirth of nature. Nature is filled with
brightness, new life and hope, proving that Easter is a victory of brightness
and awareness over the evil forces of darkness and ignorance for all, a
resurrection for all, since it brings a heart-warming message of hope and
healing.
Happy Easter to all.
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No glory in death
Easter Sunday, 2012
You may have watched Patrick Geryl from his home in Antwerp, Belgium,
telling ABC News that the world as we know it will end on December 21,
2012, the day the Mayan calendar ends.
Apocalypse, the rapture, the end of the world, where God will take his
faithful to him and destroy his haters, has been prophesized time and again.
To note just a couple of prophecies, German prophet Johann Jacob
Zimmerman determined that the world would end in the fall of 1694. He
gathered a group of pilgrims and made plans to go to America to welcome
Jesus back to Earth. However, he died in February of that year, on the very
day of departure. Johannes Kelpius took over the group leadership, and they
completed their journey to the New World. Fall came and went and, needless
to say, the groupies were profoundly disappointed at having traveled all the
way across the Atlantic just to be stood up by Jesus. And just recently,
Preacher Harold Camping from Oakland, California, confidently predicted the
Second Coming of Jesus about 6 p.m. on May 21, 2011. He reckoned 2 per
cent of the worlds population will be immediately raptured to Heaven; the
rest would get sent straight to the Other Place. Note that this wasnt the first
time Camping had predicted the second coming. Awaiting Christs return,
hundreds of his listeners had gathered on September 6, 1994, at an auditorium
in Alameda.
Thus, the earth has survived various doomsday predictions. However, we
know that death is certain for that which is born. Certainly, there is no glory in
death. Dying is sad, regardless of when it happens. In this regard, let us take a
glance at two national leaders lives, Mohandas Gandhi and Martin Luther
King, Jr. Gandhi, whose philosophy of nonviolent resistance is widely
credited with having forced the peaceful end of British rule of India, is
recognized as the Father of a Nation and called Mahatma, meaning Great
Soul. On January 30, 1948, barely a few months after India achieved her
long-sought independence from Britain, 78-year-old Mahatma was walking
from his home to attend a prayer meeting. A thirty-nine-year-old fellow Hindu
who thought Gandhi was harming the Hindus by being friendly to Muslims
bowed respectfully and fired three fatal gunshots. One person among the
crowd announced, The little old man, who sacrificed all he had for his
country, who reshaped the lives of many, who changed the path of the world,
who inspired - and still will inspire- mankind till the end of the world, is
dead. Ironically, the life of one of the worlds most famous pacifists ended
violently. His last words were, Hey Ram, meaning Oh God.
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Inspired by Mahatma Gandhis doctrines of non-violent resistance, service

to the community and social justice, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Baptist
minister and social activist led the civil rights movement in the United States
from the mid-1950s. His leadership was fundamental to that movements
success in ending the racial segregation of African Americans in the South
and other parts of the United States. Gifted with resonating oratory that stated
clearly and loudly what he meant to say, famed civil rights leader King
promoted nonviolent tactics, such as the massive March on Washington
(1963). He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964. However, this
powerful voice was silenced by an assassins bullet in 1968. He was 39.
Let us consider even the entities, like Ram, Krishna, both known as
incarnations of Vishnu, and Jesus, who were born on this earth to uplift
righteousness, abolish suffering and sins caused by lack of conscience. Rama
took birth to free the earth from anarchy caused by the cruelty and sins of the
demon king Ravana and several of his other accomplices. Krishnas promise
was to uproot evil to establish justice and righteousness by annihilating
demons and their accomplices and safeguard the virtues of truth. Jesus, calling
himself Messiah, Son of God, came to challenge the oppressors and to
serve the poor and downtrodden with the meekness of a lamb. Proclaiming, I
am here just to do my Fathers work, he preached about loving one another
and forgiveness and promised them the new kingdom of God and a seat at the
table in his Fathers mansion. These three figures dedicated their lives to
serving their missions; they lived and suffered like humans. As soon as his
mission was accomplished, Ram walked into the river Sarayu; Krishna sat
under a tree and fell victim to a hunters arrow; and Jesus, accused of
blasphemy, was whipped, mocked, scourged, and finally, crucified.
The moment ones human existence ends, the world is no more for him; for
instance, the world ended for the German prophet Zimmerman months before
his predicted season of apocalypse. Each birth entails death. No one knows
when and how he is going to die. With limited time, each one is born for a
reason. Therefore, finding where his/her glory lies and fulfilling it without
wasting time should be the aim. Time is of the essence. All one can do is live
his every moment to the fullest in glory as if it were his last. Instead of
panicking over and awaiting the arrival of death, one should rejoice in a good
relationship with conscience and focus on living a fulfilled life in grace and
make the best of the time that is allotted to him. Thus, when his time comes,
he can look forward to be with the Heavenly Father, Almighty God in glory.
The above mentioned entities and national leaders, regardless how they
met their death, will not be forgotten. Death doesnt snatch away the glory
that is earned during this lifetime. Thus, a good name with God is very
important. If ones life has been spent acquiring such a name, at the end of
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such a worthwhile life, it can truly be said, the day of death (is better) than
the day of ones birth. (Isa. 26:19). Such a person has the sure hope of a
resurrection to live again. And perhaps this is why each human enters earth
crying and departs, if life is well lived, in contentment with a smile, making
others cry.
Scriptures state that death is certain for that which is born, and birth is
certain for that which dies; therefore, one should not grieve. Easter reminds us
that life should be interpreted in terms of ideals. The resurrection doesnt only
mean rising from death; it also means rising from deadness, helplessness, and
vengeance, overcoming death and the darkness of evil, and restarting life with
a new attitude and renewed enthusiasm. Let the joy of the resurrection lead us
from loneliness, weakness, and despair to strength, beauty, and happiness by
lifting us to the spiritual height of Heaven. Easter is an eternal celebration of
spring, and spring is an annual celebration of the rebirth of nature. Nature is
filled with brightness, new life, and hope, showing that Easter is a victory of
healing.
May the warmth and love of Easter continue to flourish in our lives.
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Easter, a time for new life

Easter Sunday, April 20, 2014
I have been thinking of Easter for months and awaiting its arrival quite
eagerly. My holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, were tinged
with sadness. I received fewer holiday greetings this year. Within eight weeks,
between September and October, I attended three memorial services. Mrs.
Barbara Mirmow, a retired English high school teacher, who taught, advised,
mentored and made learning grammar fun, was a columnist for The Times and
Democrat. Mrs. Martha Berry, who treated the sick and advocated prevention
by advising about nutrition and a healthy lifestyle, was a retired nurse
practitioner. Dr. Howard Hill, an educator, administrator, community servant,
and a prolific writer, was a longtime columnist for The Times and Democrat.
Then the day I attended a memorial service for Dr. Hill, I received the sad
news of Mrs. Ethel Rogers passing. Mrs. Rogers, the former first lady of
Claflin University, the late president Dr. Oscar Allan Rogers wife, who
addressed each of her students as lord or lady was a popular professor,
advisor, mentor, and a cheerful encouraging motherly figure. So many people
who served the community and made a difference by generously sharing their
gifts and talents were no more.
Sadness lingers. Losing people who were respected, well-liked and loved
makes us recognize our own mortality, and we are reminded that in the
fleeting time we have on this Earth, what matters is not wealth, or status, or
power, or fame but rather, how well we have loved and appreciated others.
Though death is the common lot of each living being, from time to time some
have been tempted to challenge that ultimatum. Immortality is the concept of
existing for a potentially infinite or indeterminate length of time. Throughout
history humans have had the desire to live forever. With the dawn of modern
technological and scientific revolutions, a new breed of immortalist has
emerged. They believe in the possibility of avoiding death altogether. Some
believe if someone has died of a disease or condition that is currently
incurable, he/she can be cryogenically frozen and then revived in the future
when a cure has been discovered. In addition, Russian media magnate Dmitry
Itskov is heading Avatar, a tremendously ambitious and far-reaching
multidisciplinary research project that aims to achieve immortality in humans
within the next three decades. He plans to do it by housing human brains in
progressively more disembodied vehicles, first transplanting them into robots
and then, by the year 2045, by reverse-engineering the human brain and
effectively downloading human consciousness onto a computer chip.
However, I am comfortable with the concept that was widespread before
the 19th and 20th centuries. Previously, philosophy and religion expressed
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immortality as the continuity of human spiritual existence after the death of

the body. The only seriously considered method of achieving immortality is
through soul and legacy. The philosopher Socrates, as well as the scriptures,
states that the soul is immortal and indestructible. It continues to exist after a
persons death, and it still possesses intelligence.
I read all the holiday greetings I receive for the season on the early twentyfifth morning in December, which has become a ritual for me. As I started
reading, the one from Dr. Ernest McNealy particularly cheered me up and
brightened my Christmas. The photo of Ernest II holding the framed
certificate, which showed that he passed the bar exam in December, flanked
by his proud parents, was this years special. And then, not too long after this,
I received an e-mail from a very close family friend about his daughter
receiving an M.D. from Florida University, while his son is employed as
petroleum engineer at a reputable company. In every get together or when we
run into each other, I learn about the younger generation entering prestigious
careers and entering the community as productive members. It is hard to
believe that these guys and gals were bottle-fed and carried around in their
parents arms just recently. However, their growing up and accomplishments
do cheer me up. They do carry on their family legacy.
Does it mean someone without an offspring cant leave a legacy? Absolutely
not true! Everyone can leave a legacy of memories through great deeds by
making a difference in others lives. Documented evidence to prove this point
would be a recently televised news broadcast: Actor Liam Neesons wife,
actress Natasha Richardson, died of brain swelling caused by a fall on the ski
slopes. She was forty-five. Her grieving husband determined to keep his wife
alive the best way he could. He donated her heart, kidney, and liver to the
three people who needed an organ transplant to stay alive and healthy. Good
deeds can help someone gain an imperishable place in others heart. The dead
are not really gone as long as they are kept alive in our memory.
When we think of Christs resurrection, we are reminded of the empty tomb
and the rolled-back stone. The cross tells us the story of resurrection and the
promise of miraculous liberation. Thus, the story behind Good Friday is not
merely the story of the Passion of Jesus; instead, it is the celebration of his
life, promise of Spring. Easter reminds us that life should be interpreted in
terms of ideals. The resurrection doesnt only mean rising from death; it also
means rising from deadness, helplessness, and restarting life with a new
attitude and renewed enthusiasm. Thus, Easter is time for new life, an eternal
celebration of spring; whereas, spring is an annual celebration of the rebirth of
nature. Nature is filled with brightness, new life, and hope, proving that Easter
is a victory of brightness and awareness over the evil forces of darkness and
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ignorance for all, a resurrection for all, since it brings a heart-warming

message of hope and healing.
By the law of Mother Nature the old and worn-out is replaced by the new.
Scriptures teach us that death is certain for that which is born, and birth is
certain for that which dies. For this unavoidable fact one should not grieve
(Bhagavad-Gita 2:27). It is normal if we feel sad, for we miss the physical
presence of a deceased one. As Percy Shelley writes in Ode to a Skylark,
We look before and after
And pine for what is not:
Our sincerest laughter
With some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought,
we must keep in mind that life and death, sad and happy are two sides of the
same coin called life. Natures wheel keeps turning nonstop. Winter is going
to be followed by Spring. The lifelessness of winter is going to be replaced by
the new liveliness of Spring. Thus, while keeping the departed in our memory,
let us cherish the newer generation that is thriving with dreams and ambitions.
Filled with hope and youth, they are looking forward to a bright future and
raising their own family.
Let the joy of the resurrection lift us to the spiritual height of Heaven.
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Commencement Day
Columns
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Perseverance is key word

Monday, May 1, 2006
It is the time of year to congratulate you, our graduates, and to celebrate

your hard work and success. You have worked hard and long for this day to
arrive. With your graduation, one of the finest moments in your life has
arrived. Bow your head and heart to the Lord Almighty, for, because of His
blessings, your efforts have born the fruit that you are rejoicing in today. This
is your day. Be thankful to your parents for bringing you into this world,
loving you, caring about you, worrying about your happiness day in and day
out, providing for you, and wishing you the best in this world; be thankful as
well to your teachers and the administrators who have worked with you and
helped to bring you this far by teaching, guiding, and loving you.
Humility, love for others, respect for authority, self-discipline, and
devotion to God are five concepts that are valid and relevant for today. They
encourage you to seek out opportunities. These values help boost your
confidence and self-concept and keep you emotionally and physically healthy.
When you show reverence for God and humility for every member of the
human family and love others as yourselves, the entire matter of self-worth is
placed in its proper perspective. As you pass this milestone and enter a new
world with different perspectives, expectations, and goals, keep in mind that
you may not get what you desire on your first attempt. Be prepared for
failures, rejections, and disappointments. In your cynical moments, think
about the people who fell flat on their faces before reaching their goals. For
example, Steve Fossett has been honored for his determination and is
recognized as one of this countrys greatest living adventurers. His goal was
to become the first solo balloonist to go around the world. He accomplished
his quest in 14 days, 19 hours, and 51 minutes, coming to a stunning finish at
dawn on July 4, 2002. As an American skipper, he established a new aroundthe-world sailing record nearly six days faster than the previous mark. His
finest moment arrived on his sixth attempt as his craft, Bud Light Spirit of
Freedom, landed smoothly near Lake Yamma Yamma in the east Australian
outback, 725 miles northwest of Sydney. His dream came to fruition. Mr.
Fossett contentedly announced, I feel a tremendous sense of satisfaction. I
have worked towards this goal for 10 years; this is the reason for ballooning.
In addition, Thomas Edison reportedly tested 10,000 light bulbs before
finally getting one to work. The late Colonel Sanders took his chicken recipe
to over one thousand restaurants before finally convincing anyone that it was
finger-licking good. Abraham Lincoln could not do anything right for the
first 28 years of his life. He lost several jobs, failed in several business deals,
and endured numerous losses while running for public office. Finally, he won
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the election that led to his being considered one of the greatest Presidents of
the United States. Therefore, never give up. Keep trying. Just to
reemphasize the importance of this idea, think about what Winston Churchill
said when he was asked to address a class of British prep school students. He
got up and said, Never, never, never give up, and then he sat down.
Perseverance is the key word. Keep trying. Never give up. Life is all
about winning the war, not every battle.
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Mandakini Hiremath
A word about family

Monday, June 7, 2004
The Mother's Day weekend of 2004 turned out to be mild and sunny. The
day after attending Claflin University commencement convocation, Sunday
afternoon, I sat in my courtyard thinking about events that were taking place
through the month of May in which most of the commencement ceremonies
take place. It is the time of year for commencement speeches, congratulations
and the moment for tossing caps into the air to celebrate as this milestone is
passed. It is the time for one to set priorities as he/she enters a new world with
different perspectives, expectations and goals. As I lingered thinking about
commencement addresses that were delivered in the recent years, I suddenly
paused. I thought of the deputy counsel late Vincent Foster, whose alleged
suicide on July 3, 1993, rocked the Clinton administration. Just eight weeks
before his death, Foster was asked to speak to the graduating class at the
University Of Arkansas School Of Law. He told the graduates on that
occasion: "A word about family: You have amply demonstrated that you are
achievers willing to work hard, long hours, to set aside your personal lives. It
reminds me of that observation that no one was ever heard to say on their
death bed, I wish I had spent more time at the office.
"Balance wisely your professional life and your family life. If you are
fortunate to have children, your parents will warn you that your children will
grow up and be gone before you know it. I can testify that it is true. God only
allows us so many opportunities with our children to read a story, go fishing,
play catch, say our prayers together. Try not to miss a one of them. The office
can wait. It will still be there when your children are gone."
Recalling of this speech took me three years back to recollect the telephone
conversation with my daughter, Meena. My daughter had just moved to
Maryland with her husband and 6-month-old daughter after completing her
doctoral studies at the University of North Carolina. In this conversation, my
daughter mentioned that John Hopkins was asking her to teach a couple of
courses. I remember, as I heard her telling, I was more excited about this offer
than she. I responded, "That's wonderful." And then I rushed to ask her if she
agreed to teach.
She calmly responded, "No! I didn't. I told the administrator, 'Maybe later,
after a few years.'" I curiously asked her, "Why not? It was a good
opportunity, teaching in a prestigious university to medical scholars."
Her response came calmly, "Yes! It was. But I already have a full-time job, in
addition to the 6-month-old baby and husband. I need to balance my
professional obligation and family life. My evenings and weekends are
reserved for my baby. I don't want to spend my evenings teaching and
weekends planning and preparing for lectures."
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Mandakini Hiremath
I was dumbfounded, outsmarted by my daughter's thoughtfulness. I was

being overly zealous about the opportunity given to my daughter and her skills
to serve the community. And, at least for a moment, I thought that forfeiting
such an opportunity would be slacking. Later, I felt very guilty. Today's
younger generation is considered to be overly ambitious, and it is expected of
parents to keep them level-headed. I was ashamed of the roles being switched
as I failed to fulfill parental obligation. I candidly apologized for being
tempted, overlooking the family well-being as a priority.
We always recognize alcoholism, drug abuse, and infidelity as threats to
family life. But for many families the most common threat to their marriage
and family life is the simple matter of over commitment.
Nowadays, husband and wife are too exhausted to talk together, to take
walks together, and to understand each other to meet each other's needs.
So often, these days, the husband moonlights and the wife works and tries to
take care of the children while overseeing the home. When everyone is on the
brink of exhaustion, the children are shortchanged and life descends swiftly,
the deadly routine heading the family toward destruction.
other, have been prisoners of our own ambition and greed. We teach and
advise our children to keep their goals high and to go shooting for distant
stars. But here my guilt was overlooking the priority. I recalled the late
Vincent Foster's commencement speech and reflected on my daughter's
thoughtful remark, "It is not easy to avoid the temptation of money and
prestige, but simply there must be a better way." This incident brought the
circle of my reflection to completion. Though still feeling guilty, I am proud
of my daughter's decision and her unwavering adhesion to her priorities.
One might naturally think that having been provided the opportunity and
rejecting it, Meena was leaning toward the kind of downward mobility that is
almost unheard of; one may call it un-American. But, I am sure, when we
reflect on our lives to look at the things that matter most, the precious
relationships with the people that we love, will rank the top of the list.
Families and friends were treasured in the past, and as a result, children grew
up without so many complications. Why change now?
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Mandakini Hiremath
Never give up nor give in

Claflin University Commencement Convocation day, Saturday, May 14, 2005
May is the month for graduation. This is the time of year for
commencement speeches and congratulations and the moment for tossing caps
into the air to celebrate as the milestone is passed. Some of you, if you are rich
enough to afford it, may have plans to travel in order to explore the world,
have fun and relax; some of you may have already secured a job or have plans
to go to grad school; and some of you may be planning to get married and
start a family. You are entering a new world with different perspectives,
expectations, and goals; keep in mind that you may not get what you desire on
your first attempt. Be prepared for failures, rejections, and disappointments. In
your cynical moments, think about the people who fell flat on their faces
before reaching their goals.
George Bernard Shaw wrote, The people who get on in this world are the
people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they cant
find them, make them. Think positively. Lift it up; get going to achieve what
you want out of this life in this world.
Beware! At times, you may experience the world outside as cynical and
cold. You may feel that life is throwing nothing but dirt at you. Shake that dirt
off and then use it as a stepstool that will help you to climb high. Never forget
the famous quote by Steve Kissell: Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Cry and you cry alone.
Instead of thinking about where you are, think about where you want to be.
Be prepared to work hard to reach your goal. Perseverance is the key. You
will realize the truth behind Diana Rankins statement It takes twenty years
of hard work to become an overnight success if you remember Thomas
Edison reportedly tested 10,000 light bulbs before finally getting one to work.
The late Colonel Sanders took his chicken recipe to over one thousand
restaurants before finally convincing anyone that it was finger-licking good.
In addition, Steve Fossett has been honored and recognized for his
determination as one of this countrys greatest living adventurers. His goal
was to become the first solo balloonist to go around the world. When his
dream came to fruition, Mr. Fossett contentedly announced, I feel a
tremendous sense of satisfaction. I have worked towards this goal for ten
years; this is the reason for ballooning.
After reading Churchills My Early Life, I was astounded by its wit, charm
and depth of thinking and, above all, by how much Churchill managed to pack
into his life, his first few years in particular. As he says, Twenty to twentyfive, those are the years. Dont be content with things as they are. There can
be no better example and inspiration to young people of how to go out and get
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Mandakini Hiremath
what they want. His life itself exemplifies that if one wants something badly
enough, he can get it. Churchill wanted to join the army; it took him three tries
and a near fatal accident en route, but he made it. He left no stone unturned
until he did so. It was his single-minded drive, determination, and
perseverance that made him succeed. Churchill is rightly famed for his never
give in attitude. In 1941, he said to the boys of Harrow School, Never give
in, never give in, never, never, never, neverin nothing, great or small, large
or pettynever give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. His
advice helped to raise the morale not merely of British people but of young
people all over the world.
Churchills writings and speeches clearly reveal that young people, their
predicament and their fate, were very close to his heart. In the Harrow speech
quoted above, he also said, Sometimes imagination makes things appear far
worse than they are; yet without imagination not much can be done. Those
people who are imaginative see many more dangers than perhaps exist . . . but
then they must also pray to be given that extra courage to carry this farreaching imagination. Here is much sound advice for those on the road to
start new ventures: Dont take No for an answer. Never submit to failure. . .
. You will make all kinds of mistakes, but as long as you are generous and
true, and also fierce, you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her.
Before you leave with the Claflin confidence to prove to the world your
ability to achieve what you are aiming at, bow your head and heart with
gratitude to the Lord Almighty, for because of his blessings, your efforts have
borne the fruit that you are rejoicing in today. Ask for His presence in your
life and blessings for wherever you go and whatever you do. This is your day.
Be thankful to your parents for bringing you into this world, loving you,
caring about you, worrying about your happiness day in and day out,
providing for you, and wishing you the best in this world; be thankful as well
to your teachers and the administrators who have worked with you and helped
to bring you this far by teaching, guiding, and loving you.
Never forget to be thankful to those who help to make happen the success
you achieve in life. Always be humble, for knowledge is validated by
humility. Humility enriches your value. Enriched value brings wealth to you.
Wealth enables you to perform humanitarian deeds. Humanitarian deeds will
bring blessings, happiness and peace to your heart. Lasting happiness and
peace is all that matters in this fleeting world.
Stay leal and loyal to your alma mater. As President Henry N. Tisdale
says, Claflin University is your home. Come home as often as you can.
Again, congratulations, graduates! May God bless you. We, the Claflin
family, wish each one of you Godspeed.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Perseverance, a key to success

May 1st, 2006
May is the month for graduation. This is the time of year for
commencement speeches and congratulations and the moment for tossing caps
into the air to celebrate as the milestone is passed. Some of you, if you are rich
enough to afford it, may have plans to travel in order to explore the world,
have fun and relax; some of you may have already secured a job or have plans
to go to grad school; and some of you may be planning to get married and
start a family. You are entering a new world with different perspectives,
expectations, and goals; keep in mind that you may not get what you desire on
your first attempt. Be prepared for failures, rejections, and disappointments. In
your cynical moments, think about the people who fell flat on their faces
before reaching their goals.
George Bernard Shaw wrote, The people who get on in this world are the
people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they cant
find them, make them. Think positively. Lift it up; get going to achieve what
you want out of this life in this world.
Beware! At times, you may experience the world outside as cynical and
cold. You may feel that life is throwing nothing but dirt at you. Shake that dirt
off and then use it as a stepstool that will help you to climb high. Never forget
the famous quote by Steve Kissell: Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Cry and you cry alone.
Instead of thinking about where you are, think about where you want to be.
Be prepared to work hard to reach your goal. Perseverance is the key. You
will realize the truth behind Diana Rankins statement It takes twenty years
of hard work to become an overnight success if you remember Thomas
Edison reportedly tested 10,000 light bulbs before finally getting one to work.
The late Colonel Sanders took his chicken recipe to over one thousand
restaurants before finally convincing anyone that it was finger-licking good.
In addition, Steve Fossett has been honored and recognized for his
determination as one of this countrys greatest living adventurers. His goal
was to become the first solo balloonist to go around the world. When his
dream came to fruition, Mr. Fossett contentedly announced, I feel a
tremendous sense of satisfaction. I have worked towards this goal for ten
years; this is the reason for ballooning.
After reading Churchills My Early Life, I was astounded by its wit, charm
and depth of thinking and, above all, by how much Churchill managed to pack
into his life, his first few years in particular. As he says, Twenty to twentyfive, those are the years. Dont be content with things as they are. There can
be no better example and inspiration to young people of how to go out and get
336
Mandakini Hiremath
what they want. His life itself exemplifies that if one wants something badly
enough, he can get it. Churchill wanted to join the army; it took him three tries
and a near fatal accident en route, but he made it. He left no stone unturned
until he did so. It was his single-minded drive, determination, and
perseverance that made him succeed. Churchill is rightly famed for his never
give in attitude. In 1941, he said to the boys of Harrow School, Never give
in, never give in, never, never, never, neverin nothing, great or small, large
or pettynever give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. His
advice helped to raise the morale not merely of British people but of young
people all over the world.
Churchills writings and speeches clearly reveal that young people, their
predicament and their fate, were very close to his heart. In the Harrow speech
quoted above, he also said, Sometimes imagination makes things appear far
worse than they are; yet without imagination not much can be done. Those
people who are imaginative see many more dangers than perhaps exist . . . but
then they must also pray to be given that extra courage to carry this farreaching imagination. Here is much sound advice for those on the road to
start new ventures: Dont take No for an answer. Never submit to failure. . .
. You will make all kinds of mistakes, but as long as you are generous and
true, and also fierce, you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her.
ability to achieve what you are aiming at, bow your head and heart with
gratitude to the Lord Almighty, for because of his blessings, your efforts have
borne the fruit that you are rejoicing in today. Ask for His presence in your
life and blessings for wherever you go and whatever you do. This is your day.
Be thankful to your parents for bringing you into this world, loving you,
to bring you this far by teaching, guiding, and loving you.
Never forget to be thankful to those who help to make happen the success
bring blessings, happiness and peace to your heart. Lasting happiness and
Again, congratulations, graduates! May God bless you. We wish each one
of you Godspeed.
337
Mandakini Hiremath
Walk humbly in the Lord Almightys Grace

As April nears its end, our graduating seniors prepare to walk in their caps
and gowns down the aisle towards the podium in order to grab hold of their
diplomas, the degree that symbolizes their readiness to enter a new world.
As friends and relatives clap and cheer, parents wipe away their happy tears,
professors and mentors wave, and administrators congratulate.
Watching the graduating seniors hustle and bustle, I reflect on how to bid
good-bye to them. In past years, I have enthusiastically urged them neither to
give up nor to give in until they accomplish what they aim for. I have written
about perseverance, citing the examples of Thomas Edison, who tested 10,000
light bulbs before getting one to work; the late Colonel Sanders, who took his
chicken recipe to over one thousand restaurants before finally convincing
anyone that it was finger-licking good; and Steve Fossett, who strived to
accomplish his goal of becoming the first solo balloonist to go around the
world and who then announced, I feel a tremendous sense of satisfaction. I
have worked towards this goal for ten years; this is the reason for ballooning.
I have also cited Winston Churchills My Early Life, which reveals how much
he managed to pack into his life, his first few years in particular, and his
advice: Twenty to twenty-five, those are the years. Dont be content with
things as they are. I have elaborated on his message: If you want something
enough, you can get it. Churchill wanted to join the army; it took him three
tries and a nearly fatal accident en route, but he made it. In his speech to the
boys of Harrow School, he said, Never give in, never give in, never, never,
never, neverin nothing, great or small, large or pettynever give in, except
to convictions of honor and good sense. I have stressed how determined he
was in order to illustrate to the younger generation the importance of
perseverance.
This year, however, I feel subdued by the accumulation of the 9/11 attacks,
our nation at war, and Mother Natures brutality, including tsunami,
hurricanes, droughts, torrential rains, mudslides, and earthquakes. In addition,
the onslaught of technology (e.g., computers, cell phones, iPods, etc.)
continues to invade our privacy. Technology is shaping our way of life, which
is becoming a robotic life without feelings. At times, instead of serving us, it
enslaves us. Life has become the endless pursuit of a happiness that is then put
on hold. Each one is rushing every minute towards something.
However, despite technological advances, our basic needs to feel safe, to
be healthy, to have a sense of belonging, to be loved, to feel connected to
other human beings have not changed. So this struggle between human needs
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Mandakini Hiremath
and the empowering spectrum that surrounds us is making us restless and

forcing us to reassess the meaning of life and its end.
We are told to walk tall, to shoot for distant stars. Observing the direction
that life is headed, I would not mind telling my child that it is still all right to
walk humbly in the Lord Almightys grace, believing in his love.
My message this year is simple: Be happy. Recognize your calling and
fulfill it. Live an honest, simple, contented life of conscience and gratitude.
Conscientiousness will keep you on the right track and will enable you to lead
a guilt-free, stress-free life. Have a positive attitude. Enjoy your life, be
accountable for your own well-being, and develop your whole self.
Adapt in order to live a life filled with joy. Your attitude toward what you
want and expect governs the response that you will get. Do not give up hope
when things do not go well. Learn to count your blessings. You are
responsible for your own well-being. Dont sue McDonalds if you
accidentally spill hot coffee and get burned; dont sue a tobacco company if
you develop cancer because of your addiction to tobacco. Wise people have
told us, If its going to be, its up to you. Develop your body, mind and
spirit. One cannot enjoy life with an unhealthy body or spirit. The key to
enjoying your life is to improve your ability to get along with people. After
all, we live in a global community.
Learn to form meaningful relationships. Love and cherish your family.
While addressing the graduating class of the law school at the University of
Arkansas just eight weeks before his death in 1993, the late Vincent Foster,
deputy counsel to the Clinton administration, advised, A word about family:
You have amply demonstrated that you are achievers willing to work hard,
long hours, to set aside your personal lives. It reminds me of the observation
that no one was ever heard to say on his death bed, I wish I had spent more
time at the office. Thus, balance wisely your professional life and your
family life. Your children will grow up and be gone before you know it. God
allows us only so many opportunities with our children to read a story, go
fishing, play catch, and say our prayers together. Try not to miss any of them.
The office can wait. It will still be there when your children are gone.
ability to achieve what you are aiming for, bow your head and heart with
gratitude to the Lord Almighty, for because of his blessings your efforts have
borne the fruit in which you are rejoicing today. Ask for his presence in your
life and for blessings on wherever you go and whatever you do. This is your
day. Be thankful to your parents for bringing you into this world, loving you,
providing for you and wishing you the best in this world; be thankful as well
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Mandakini Hiremath
to the teachers and administrators who have worked with you and helped to
bring you this far by teaching, guiding, and loving you.
Never forget to be thankful to those who help to make possible the success
bring blessings, happiness, and peace to your heart. Lasting happiness and
Again, congratulations, graduates! I conclude by quoting Socrates: Do not
take thought for your properties, but first and chiefly care about the
greatest improvement of the soul. I tell you that virtue is not given by money,
but that from virtue come money and every other good of man, public as well
as private. The difficulty, my friends, is not in avoiding death, but in
avoiding unrighteousness, for that runs faster than death.
Again, congratulations and smooth sailing. May God bless you.
340
Mandakini Hiremath
Reviving the right to fail

State University Commencement Convocation day, Friday, May 11, 2007
I watched the television news of Bill Gates recent announcement about

phasing out of his day-to-day role at Microsoft in two years in order to focus
on giving his vast riches away through the $29 billion Bill and Melinda Gates
Foundation and his talking to highly motivated and talented students who
want to be the next Bill Gates. I was pleased and thought he deserves the
cheers for his hard work, simplicity (casual dress, slacks, a polo shirt and
pastel colors, his friendly conversation), compassion and philanthropy.
Saying, With great wealth comes great responsibility, he is ready to
distribute his wealth to improve global health and education. Columnist Sam
Lister writes, Gates . . . remains fearsomely proud of his achievements and
has no time for inefficiency. Spend a week with the Gateses and you see a
man who wont stand for incompetence or error, day or night.
That sounds appropriate for the richest man in the worldeven though he
is a college dropout. Bill Gates entered Harvard University in 1973 as a
freshman. He didnt complete even half of his program. Soon he developed a
version of the programming language BASIC for the first microcomputer, the
MITS Altair.
In his junior year, Gates left Harvard to devote his energies to Microsoft, a
company he began in 1975 with his childhood friend, Paul Allen. Guided by
the belief that the computer would be a valuable tool in every office and
home, they began developing software for personal computers. Under Gates
leadership, Microsofts mission has been to advance and improve software
technology and to make it cost-effective and user-friendly and more enjoyable
for people to use computers. The rest of the companys success story is
history.
I wonder what his parents thought when he became a college dropout. Did
they think of him as a failure, as most parents would?
Considering his present status, its only appropriate that we say that Bill
Gates may turn out to be Harvard Universitys most famous dropout.
The word dropout reminds me of the essay The Right to Fail from
The Lunacy Bloom by William K. Zinsser, educated at Princeton, longtime
faculty member at Yale, American critic and writer. In this piece, the writer
opposes the common view of the college dropout. In fact, he points out,
dropping out may be the prelude to greater awareness and more purposeful
ambition.
The writer would like dropout added to the English language because
its brief. Professor Zinsser expresses his dislike for the way the word
dropout is used as a dirty word. He applies dropout only to those who are
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under twenty-one. For the young, dropping out is often a way of dropping in.
He focuses on the opinion that a young man or woman who leaves college is
branded a failure and marvels that the right to fail is one of the few freedoms
that this country doesnt grant its citizens. He notes that the American dream
getting ahead, is painted in broad strokes wherever we look. Our
advertisements, TV commercials, and even our magazine articles are toasts to
people who made it to the top. Theyre hymns to material success. Smoke the
right cigarette or drive the right car so the ads imply and the girls will be
swooning into your deodorized arms or caressing your expensive lapels.
Happiness goes to the man who has the sweet smell of achievement. He is our
national idol and everybody else is our national fink.
Professor Zinsser opines that if we release this fink from the pressure of
attaining certain goals by a certain age, he has a good chance of becoming our
national idol. He exemplifies with a few names, such as Jefferson and
Thoreau. It would be quite appropriate if today we add to his list the name of
Bill Gates, a man with a mind of his own. We need mavericks and dissenters
and dreamers far more than we need junior vice-presidents, but we paralyze
them by insisting that every step be a step to the next rung of the ladder. Yet
during the fluid years of youth, the only way for boys and girls to find their
proper road is often to take a hundred side trips, poking out in different
directions, faltering, drawing back, and starting again, insists the professor.
According to Zinsser, when the dreaded words But what if we fail? are
whispered across the generation gap to parents, they should reply, Dont be
afraid to fail, instead of just whispering back, Dont. Failure isnt fatal.
Countless people have had a bout with it and come out stronger as a result.
Luckily, such rebels still turn up often enough to prove that individualism,
though badly threatened, is not extinct. We are glad to notice one such rebel.
Just look at Bill Gates, director of Microsoft. He is one of those rare creations;
though he was a dropout, he dropped in again at the top of his profession.
Its natural to inquire about the odds of turning every dropout into Bill
Gates. Zinsser states, According to the Gallup survey, more than 3 million
American college students would serve VISTA (the domestic Peace Corps) in
some capacity if given the opportunity. This is hardly the road to riches or to
an executive suite. Yet, I have met many of these young volunteers, and they
are not pining for traditional success. On the contrary, they appear more
fulfilled than the average vice-president with a swimming pool. The author
contentedly states, Success and failure are becoming individual visions, as
they were when the country was younger, not rigid categories. Maybe we are
learning again to cherish this right of every person to succeed on his own
terms and to fail as often as necessary along the way.
By the way, we must note that The Lunacy Boom was published in 1970.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Light a candle rather than curse the darkness

Today is a commencement day, a time for celebration of your many

accomplishments. This is auspicious and happy but serious occasion for you
and your families. You endured hardships, diligently prepared to learn and
patiently waited long four years for this day to arrive. Today, youre ready to
walk in your caps and gowns down the aisle toward the podium in order to
grab your diploma, the degree that symbolizes your "readiness" to enter a new
world. As friends and relatives clap and cheer, parents wipe away their happy
tears, professors and mentors wave, and administrators congratulate, you can
hardly wait to throw your hat cheerfully in the air and go out with your proud
family and friends to celebrate.
You have worked hard to develop your solid resume, in hopes of landing
the perfect job. However, never forget to reflect on what's not on your resume.
There are lots of places to list your accomplishments on job applications... but
barely a place to list your passions. Job applications have box for your
experience but not for experiments. I am sure you have been asked by
many, "So, now that you're graduating, what you plan on doing for work?" but
how often you are asked, "What are your dreams?" The stuff, what is not on
resume makes you who you are. Your passion, your curiosity, your
experiments, even your mistakes count; this is the stuff that shows who you
are and makes who you want to be. Be glad to know that there is hope. The
trend is changing. Some companies nowadays are hiring the person, not just
the resume.
Feel privileged, for youve received education in a liberal arts institution.
Four years spent immersed in the liberal arts are an invitation to seek daily
and for the rest of your lifetime the ever-renewing and ever-renewable sources
of spiritual, mental, and physical meaning that liberal arts offer. It has
developed you the whole person. Learning is truly life-long. Love of liberal
arts and of learning them enormously enriches the quality of life. Socrates
once said: "I cannot teach anybody anything; I can only make them think." If
your professors have taught you how to think, they have fulfilled their
obligations with flying colors. As William Butler Yeats said, "Education is not
the filling of a pail; it is the lighting of a fire." At Claflin University, you have
achieved Excellence by design education. Lead successful life by using
your education to improve your life and the lives of others.
Technology, the media, commercials, the so-called celebrities, the politics
that has gone awry may easily dominate your life. Technology is shaping our
way of life, which is becoming a robotic life without feelings. At times,
instead of serving us, it enslaves us; commercials are becoming our Guru,
and trying to rein our lives by dragging us into unending materialistic rat race;
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Mandakini Hiremath
the media that cares most for its ratings and the politics which is interested
more in finding out who leaked the source of deceit rather than why the
deceitful behavior turning us into a cynic. Seems likes life is becoming more
hectic and complicated. There is absolutely no time even to breath deep. Its
endless pursuit; each one is rushing every minute towards something.
There will be no cookie-cutter that will apply to each life to shape it
perfectly. If you are not sure about what you want, you will just go with the
flow to keep up with the Joneses; you will lose your identity, your uniqueness,
what you stand for.
Realize that happiness is not in always chasing after something: keeping up
with Joneses, craving for more money and material possessions, replacing
every gazette by newly invented. First, you dont know how Joneses
themselves have been managing; second, however much money you make,
therell be someone else making more than you; and third, each day, there will
be something newly intentioned in the market, so however hard you try, you
wont be able to keep up with the flow. Know who you are. Be content in
seeing what you have that others dont.
As you strive to make the best of opportunities you encounter and seek,
remember the boundaries of life. Be true to yourself. Know your strengths,
discover your gifts and build on them. Understand your weaknesses, and
change those you can and accept those you can't. Discover your passion, what
you love doing, and make those things your career, or your hobbies, or both.
In doing so, you can find the inner peace that comes with being comfortable
with yourself. When you find inner peace, you feel content. Feeling content is
lasting happiness. Lasting happiness and peace is all that matters in this
fleeting world.
As you live your life with pride and sense of accomplishment, be content,
humble and gratified. Feel privileged. You are one among the less that 1%
people on this earth who complete a university education. Privileges come
with obligations. Confucius said, "Wherever you go, go with all your heart."
Find out what you like, what makes you happy. While establishing your
career, make time, if you are family person and love children, to get married
and have children; raise as good, smart, productive, and accountable children
as you by role modeling them with your life. Teach your children the value of
diversity. Continue to learn about the world and educate the children.
Remember our differences may define us, but its our common humanity that
redeems us. Being parents is the greatest responsibility one can carry on. Its
never been easy, but it has its perks. If your passion is in something else
follow that and be happy. Its all about discovering your gifts and interests and
then pursuing them. Stand to make positive difference by sharing your gifts
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and talents in the lives of the people you know and love, as well as in the
society. Recognize the under-privileged talented and try to uplift them.
Theres always place for negativity, blame games, and excuses. We hope
you rather light a candle than curse the darkness. Live simple, honest,
conscientious, purposeful life. Be committed to do the right thing when those
tough decisions come along; while doing so, you might have to make hefty
sacrifices. However, clear conscience will be your reward; youll go to bed
guilt-free. Your children, family, and good friends will proudly look up to you
as role model.
We need your energy, optimism, vision, hopefulness. We need all of the
good things you can bring to us. Do all the good you can. So as you go out
with the Claflin confidence to do great things, to achieve what you are
aiming at, bow your head and heart with gratitude to the Lord Almighty for
his blessings, and ask for His presence in your life wherever you go and
whatever you do. Be thankful to your parents for bringing you into this world,
loving you, and providing for you; be thankful as well to your teachers and the
administrators who have worked with you and helped to bring you this far by
teaching, guiding, and loving you.
Be happy. Stay leal and loyal to your alma mater. As President Henry N.
Tisdale says, Claflin University is your home. Come home as often as you
can.
Again, congratulations, graduates! May God bless you. We, the Claflin
family, wish each one of you Godspeed.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Commencement address: Stay hungry! Stay foolish!

Students, commencement is an auspicious and happy but serious occasion

for you and your families. You endured hardships, diligently prepared to learn
and patiently waited four long years for this day to arrive, to walk in your caps
and gowns down the aisle toward the podium in order to grab your diploma,
the degree that symbolizes your readiness to enter a new world. You can
hardly wait to throw your hat in the air and go out with your proud family and
friends to celebrate.
However, prior to all that fun and celebration, you have to brace yourselves
for a rite of spring, the commencement address. We all know the routine.
Someone with a famous name will strut on stage and spout banalities: The
world awaits you youre a special generation go save the planet you
have what you need to get what you want. Speeches like these are mostly
welcomed, for its your day to celebrate and be praised or just be happy and
enjoy the moment.
However, in addition to banalities, these commencement speakers with
name, fame and status may have something important to offer you. You may
realize that theyre as ordinary as any Harry, Dick or Sally by birth; they
werent born with a silver spoon in their mouth. If you listen to them and
know about their life, you can learn how they reached the status they stand
with now. On commencement day, you will emerge from the nurturing
confines of academia to face the real world. You have been living inside a
bubble, protected from many of lifes harsh realities. Now, as youre to enter
the wide world, be with groups that are diverse intellectually, professionally,
nationally to enrich your life. Start and continue to listen, observe, and learn
from them and apply practical, useful knowledge that may inspire and guide
you in your lifes journey.
Wearing jeans and sandals under his black robe, the keynote speaker began
his address, I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from
one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college.
Truth be told, this is the closest Ive ever gotten to a college graduation. You
might wonder who this man is and how the university (Stanford,
Commencement, June 12, 2005) could choose as a keynote speaker one who
had never graduated from college.
The speaker said his biological mother was an unwed graduate student who
wanted him to go to college, so she chose a lawyer and his wife to be his
adoptive parents. But they ultimately wanted a girl, so he was adopted by a
working-class couple - neither of whom had a college degree. Since they
pledged to send him to college, eventually his mother relented. After 17 years,
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he chose Reed College in Portland, Ore. Concerned that tuition was draining
his parents life savings and dissatisfied by his required courses, he dropped
out after the first 6 months. He reflected, It was pretty scary at the time. It
wasnt all romantic. I didnt have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in
friends rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5-cent deposits to buy food
with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one
good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple.
Mind you, this is the success story of 50-year-old Steve Jobs, CEO of
Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios.
However, Jobs stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months. Observing
throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer how
beautifully hand calligraphic it was, he became spellbound. Learning that
Reed College at that time offered calligraphy instruction, he took a calligraphy
class.
He learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of
space between different letter combinations, about what makes great
typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that
science cant capture. He found it fascinating, though he didnt hope for any
practical application in his life. But 10 years later, when he was designing the
first Macintosh computer, he designed it all into the Mac. It was the first
computer with beautiful typography. If he had never dropped in on that single
course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or
proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its
likely that the personal computer would have been very different.
Jobs was lucky. He found what he loved to do early in life. He and his
friend started Apple in his parents garage when he was 20. They worked
hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of them in a garage
into a $2 billion company with more than 4,000 employees. They released
their finest creation the Macintosh a year before he turned 30.
Talking about love and loss, he spoke of getting fired. One might wonder
how he could get fired from the company he started. He explained, Well, as
Apple grew, we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the
company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our
visions of the future began to diverge. When eventually we had a falling out,
our board of directors sided with him. So at 30, I was very publicly out.
What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was
devastating.
After wandering for a few months with a feeling that he had let the
previous generation of entrepreneurs down, he thought of running away from
Silicon Valley. As he met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to
apologize for screwing up so badly, he realized that the turn of events at
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Mandakini Hiremath
Apple had not changed the fact that he still loved what he did. Thus, he
decided to start over.
I didnt see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the
best thing that could have ever happened to me It freed me to enter one of
the most creative periods of my life, Jobs said.
During the next five years, he started two companies named NeXT and
Pixar. And he fell in love and got married. Pixar went on to create the worlds
first computer-animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most
successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events,
Apple bought NeXT, and he returned to Apple. The technology we
developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apples current renaissance. And
Laurene and I have a wonderful family together, said a happy Jobs.
Talking about his being diagnosed with cancer about a year before, Jobs
said doctors initially gave him only six months to live. However, his cancer
turned out to be a rare, curable form. He quickly underwent surgery and went
into remission. However, the experience taught him another lesson: Your
time is limited, so dont waste it living someone elses life.
Crediting his success to his dropping out and then dropping in, Jobs
advised, Dont let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner
voice. He added that you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in
your future. You have to trust in something your gut, destiny, life, karma,
whatever. This approach has never let him down, and it has made all the
difference in his life. He admitted that his willingness to be bold and strike out
in new directions was the key of his success.
Jobs said The Whole Earth Catalog, a 1960s publication, was
overflowing with pictures of neat tools and great notions all made with
typewriters, scissors, and Polaroid cameras, since its timing was before
personal computers and desktop publishing. Stewart Brand brought it to life
with his poetic touch. When it had run its course, in the mid-1970s, Stewart
and his team published the final issue. The back cover of that edition had a
photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find
yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it was their
farewell message: Stay hungry. Stay foolish. Jobs concluded, And I have
always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I
wish that for you: Stay hungry. Stay foolish.
May the hunger motivate your search for lifes new adventures and
foolishness inspire you to keep learning more and more.
Again, congratulations, graduates! May God bless you.
348
Mandakini Hiremath
An aim of education
Claflin University Commencement Convocation day
Saturday, May 11, 2009
Many parents impromptu answer to those who inquire what they want for
their children always has been they want their children to be happy. Therefore,
I believe education should be aimed at happiness. The aim of education
should be being happy. As I reflected a little longer on this theme, I recalled
an essay, Our Way of Life Makes Us Miserable, written by Dr. Erich
Fromm.
Fromm believes that our society of consumption-happy, fun-loving, jettraveling people creates anxiety, unhappiness, helplessness and stress, and,
eventually, leads to the disintegration of our culture. He declares, I refuse to
identify fun with pleasure, excitement with joy, business with happiness, or
the faceless, buck-passing organization man with an independent
individual.
Modern industrialism has succeeded in producing an alienated man. He
is alienated in the sense that his actions and his own forces have become
estranged from him; they stand above him and against him, rather than being
ruled by him. The means have become the end for him. His life forces have
been transformed into things and institutions, and these things and institutions
have become idols, which he worships and to which he submits. He is the
prisoner of the very economic and political circumstances which he has
created.
Our society is becoming one of giant enterprises directed by a
bureaucracy in which man becomes a small, well-oiled cog in the machinery,
he states. The oiling is done with higher wages, fringe benefits, wellventilated factories and piped music, and by psychologists and humanrelations experts; yet all this oiling does not alter the facts that man does not
wholeheartedly participate in his work and that he is bored with it. The blueand white-collar workers have become economic puppets who dance to the
tune of automated machines and bureaucratic management.
When they apply for their first job, they are tested for intelligence as well
as for the right mixture of submissiveness and independence. From that
moment on they are tested again and again by the psychologists and by their
superiors, who judge their behavior, sociability and capacity to get along, etc.,
their own and of that of their wives. Every society creates a type of social
character which is needed for its proper functioning. It forms men who
want to do what they have to do.
The worker and employee are anxious because they not only might find
themselves out of a job but also are unable to acquire any real satisfaction or
interest in life. They live and die without ever having confronted the
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Mandakini Hiremath
fundamental realties of human existence as emotionally and intellectually

productive, authentic and independent human beings.
Those higher up on the social ladder, highly competitive and insecure in
some respects, are also more anxious and living emptier lives than their
subordinates. To them promotion or falling behind is not a matter of salary so
much as it is a matter of self-esteem. This constant need to prove that one is
as good as or better than ones fellow-competitor creates constant anxiety and
stress, the very causes of unhappiness and psychosomatic illness.
Pointing out rates of alcoholism, suicide, and divorce, as well as juvenile
delinquency, gang rule, acts of violence, and indifference to life, Fromm calls
them characteristic symptoms of our pathology of normalcy. Taking into
consideration ones probable argument that all these pathological phenomena
exist because we havent yet reached our aim of being an affluent society, he
asks, Yet will we be happier then? when we eventually produce a materially
affluent society.
He notes that Sweden, one of the most prosperous, democratic and
peaceful European countries, has one of the highest alcoholism and suicide
rates in Europe despite all of its material security. Could it be that our dream
that material welfare per se leads to happiness is just a pipe dream? asks
Fromm.
Certainly the humanist thinkers of the 18th and 19th centuries, who are our
ideological ancestors, thought that the goal of life was the full unfolding of a
persons potentialities; what mattered to them was the person who is much,
not the one who has much or uses much. For them, economic production
was a means to the unfolding of a man, not an end. It seems that today the
means have become ends, that God is dead, as Nietzsche said in the 19th
century, but man is also dead; that it is the organizations, the machines, that
are alive; and that man has become their slave rather than serving as their
master.
Moreover, Sri Sathyasai Baba has often emphasized that the purpose of
education is to instill virtues and character in every individual. Education is
for life, not for mere living. There are scores of people who are not educated
in this country and who are still living a good life. Education should enable
you to be an ideal example. Education should enable you to distinguish
between right and wrong. It should promote humility in you and enable you to
serve your parents and your country selflessly.
He says education must instill the fundamental human values; it must
broaden the vision to include the welfare of the entire world. Education must
equip man to live happily without making others unhappy, to evaluate
everything correctly and without prejudice. Education should combine
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Mandakini Hiremath
worldly and spiritual knowledge. Education cannot be confined to stuffing the

head. It has to melt the heart as well.
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Mandakini Hiremath
The tassel
The commencement season is nearly upon us. This is when all the
formalism of college life assumes significance. The wearing of the academic
regalia distinguishes the graduates from others.
Commencement rituals serve double purpose. They express the sentiments
and emotions of the earnest and the sentimental. And they serve to impress a
realization of the significance of the time upon those who would not feel it
otherwise. And if any season is worthy of symbolic expression and emphasis,
it's the commencement season, the initiation of new members into the
international fraternity of the officially educated population.
It may serve as a coming-out debut of an honoree who is saying goodbye
to his youth and celebrating the culmination of effort. After giving all the
instructions, assigning studies and administering tests, the academy's
concluding message is, "Go out, get busy and make a difference." Thus,
viewed in this light, wearing the academic garb, which distinguishes the
graduates from others, becomes awesome.
Undoubtedly, importance is attached to regalia and ceremonial life at
college. The styles of clothing carry feelings of trust, investments, faiths and
formalized fears. Style exerts a social force; it enrolls the recipients in armies moral, political, social. A great deal of interest is attached to the graduating
seniors' wearing of the dignified garb of cap and gown. It's an extraordinary
artifact as memorable in its phrasing as in its point of view. The cap, the
gown, and (at times) a hood, form the customary uniform of a university
graduate in many parts of the world.
However, it is less the garb of trimmed gown and cap, which intrigues me
than the tassel, especially the side on which the tassel hangs. The customary
academic cap is decked by a tassel. It is comprised of a cluster of silk threads
which are fixed together and fastened by a button at one end to the center of
the headpiece. The loose strands are allowed to fall freely over the board edge.
The tassel may be adorned with a charm in the shape of the digits of the year.
Often the strands are plaited together to form a cord with the end threads left
untied.
Whether the tassel should be placed on the left or right is not consistent
among academic institutions. However, the student wears the tassel on one
side up until the reception of the diploma, at which point it is switched to the
other. In Claflin University's tradition, our graduates' tassel is switched from
right to left; whereas, the faculty members wear it on the left.
Pondering the symbolic meaning of "right" and left," I wondered why
candidates are expected to stay on the right only until the degree was
conferred and then, are allowed to move to the left. "Right" means precise, not
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Mandakini Hiremath
clouding the subject with too much information. The right hand is the most
favored side in most cultures. It's a place of honor. In many cultures, the left
hand, or left side, was considered unclean or evil. That's why the right hand is
always used in greeting and in giving and receiving.
Or maybe, I wonder, if it's because our left is the Heavenly Father's right.
Right-left is caught up in the dualistic nature of the world. And the phrase "sit
at the right hand" conjures an image of a creator with features that he doesn't
have, so the meaning is symbolic. Right, in Latin is "destros," means good,
while left relates to the word "sinistra" which means sinister. The Right hand
...power, honor, etc. think of the where saying "the right hand man" comes
from. Right hand means the person in that position is the #1 next to the boss, a
very important person. It simply indicates authority.
Therefore, moving the tassel from the right to left after a degree is
conferred may mean the honoree is being inducted in a society as a
responsible member and expected of his services to make a positive
difference.
Or a simple, logical suggestion, maybe because the left hand is the
wedding ring hand in the U.S. and is closer to the heart. And it serves to
indicate the ending of bachelorhood and beginning of a new milestone,
adulthood.
Over all, it's time for the graduates to express joy and freedom by throwing
their caps in the air after the announcement of the confirmation of their
graduation.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Being a 'real' hero

Friday, May 7, 2010
A commencement day is a time for the celebration of your many

accomplishments. You endured hardships, diligently learned and patiently
waited four years for this day to arrive.
As you walk in your caps and gowns down the aisle toward the podium
and accept your diploma, the degree that symbolizes your "readiness" to enter
a new world, bow your head and heart with gratitude to the Lord Almighty,
for, because of his blessings, your efforts have borne the fruit that you are
rejoicing in today. Ask for His presence in your life and blessings for
wherever you go and whatever you do.
This is your day. Be thankful to your parents for bringing you into this
world, loving you, caring about you, worrying about your happiness day in
and day out, providing for you, and wishing you all the best in this world; be
thankful as well to your teachers and the administrators who have worked
with you and helped to bring you this far by teaching, guiding and loving you.
Feel blessed, for you were surrounded by caring people during all these years.
Consider yourself privileged. You are among the less than 1 percent of people
on this earth with a college degree. Privileges come with obligations.
Remember the saying "To whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much
required," meaning you are accountable for the knowledge, resources,
abilities, etc., that God has blessed you with. If you have been given much,
then he expects that much more from you.
You were the lucky ones to have encouragement from family members
who expected you to succeed and helped you do your very best. Many may
not be as fortunate as you. America is a land of great possibility, where hopes
and dreams converge every day, yet we are far from fulfilling even basic
promises to children. The population of teenaged single parents is growing.
Even with two-parent middle-class families, both parents holding multiple
jobs are struggling to put food on the table and to keep a roof over their heads;
they have neither the time nor the energy to get involved in their children's
everyday academic activities. As a result, televisions, video games, and the
Internet have become babysitters, and cell phones, peers, gangs, cult leaders,
and drugs have become our young people's guidance counselors.
More than 13 million American children live in poverty. A shocking 30
percent of young people drop out of high school. Thirty percent of those who
stay in school don't graduate. And even among graduates, only a third have
the skills they need for success in college and the work force.
We are experiencing a cultural upheaval, and children are victimized
everywhere. They have no incentive for doing it right. Nowadays, there are
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Mandakini Hiremath
too many opportunities for a child to go wrong, yet children shape the nation's
future.
Today, we badly need educators, and, since you're considered the
privileged ones, you are expected to play a leading role in fulfilling this need,
so continue to learn about the world. Prepare to motivate and educate at-risk
youths. Recognize the talents of the underprivileged and try to uplift them. Be
an educator regardless of the field you enter to make your living. I believe that
everyone, regardless of his or her occupation, is a teacher of one sort or
another. As you work with the nation's youths to better their lives, you are
making the world better for your own children to live in as well.
Live an honest, simple, contented life of conscience and gratitude. Don't let
others' noisy opinions drown out your own inner voice. Do not listen to the
Glenn Becks or the Sarah Palins, who ceaselessly rant and rave and become
very tiresome. You may remember when President Barack Obama delivered a
talk at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Va., to inspire the younger
generation to take responsibility for their education. He urged them, "Go to
class and listen. Don't let failures define you ... At the end of the day, we can
have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best
schools in the world ... And none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your
responsibilities."
Secretary of Education Arne Duncan responded, "At the end of the day, if
the president motivates one C-student to become a B-student or one student
who is thinking about dropping out to stay in school and take their education
seriously, it's all worth it." We have more homeless students than we've ever
had and teachers and social workers and counselors are working so hard to
keep them in school. Duncan added that it is not worth spending time on silly
stuff. Thus, try to focus on improving what's going on for our nation's
children. There is always a place for negativity, blame games and excuses.
However, it is always better to learn how to light a candle than to curse the
darkness.
Choose to do the right thing when tough decisions come along; it is not
always going to be easy; you might have to make hefty sacrifices. However, if
you succeed in motivating even one youth at a time to stay in school or help
one to graduate and to improve his skills for success in college, you should
consider yourself successful.
While leading the youth, be a "real" hero. A good hero is an ethical person
who chooses to do the right thing. He leads his men and inspires them with
words as well as through example. Especially in an era of political
correctness, while many are thriving to push their own agendas, our children
need to be taught right from wrong. And the teachers without prejudices who
teach our nation's children to be accountable are the heroes. And such
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Mandakini Hiremath
dedicated teachers who toil to provide a good basic education for our youth
need to be admired.
Again, do not waste your precious time heeding silly noises. Check the
facts. Use your own educated discretion to validate your choices. Your time is
limited, so dont squander it living someone elses life. We need your energy,
optimism, vision, hopefulness. We need all of the good things you can bring
to us. So go out with the Claflin confidence to do great things, to make a
positive difference. Come home as often as you can to share your
accomplishments. Claflin University is your home.
Again, Class of 2010, it has been a pleasure and privilege to congratulate
you. May God bless you. We, the Claflin family, wish each one of you more
education to come and success in your every venture!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Be happy! Be successful!
A commencement day is a time for the celebration of your many

accomplishments. You endured hardships, diligently learned and patiently
waited four years for this day to arrive. As you walk in your caps and gowns
down the aisle toward the podium and accept your diploma, the degree that
symbolizes your readiness to enter a new world, bow your head and heart
with gratitude to the Lord Almighty, for, because of his blessings, your efforts
have borne the fruit that you are rejoicing in today. Ask for His presence in
your life and blessings for wherever you go and whatever you do. This is your
day. Be thankful to your parents for bringing you into this world, loving you,
to bring you this far by teaching, guiding, and loving you. Feel blessed, for
you were surrounded by caring people during all these years. Consider
yourself privileged. You are among the less than 1% of people on this earth
with a college degree. Privileges come with obligations. Remember the saying
To whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required, meaning you
are accountable for the knowledge, resources, abilities, etc., that God has
blessed you with. If you have been given much, then He expects that much
more from you.
You were the lucky ones to have encouragement from family members
who expected you to succeed and helped you do your very best. Many may
not be as fortunate as you. America is a land of great possibility, where hopes
and dreams converge every day, yet we are far from fulfilling even basic
promises to children. The population of teenaged single parents is growing.
Even with two-parent middle-class families, both parents holding multiple
jobs are struggling to put food on the table and to keep a roof over their heads;
they have neither the time nor the energy to get involved in their childrens
everyday academic activities. As a result, televisions, video games, and the
Internet have become babysitters, and cell phones, peers, gangs, cult leaders,
and drugs have become our young peoples guidance counselors. More than
13 million American children live in poverty. A shocking 30% of young
people drop out of high school. Thirty percent of those who stay in school
dont graduate. And even among graduates, only one-third have the skills they
need for success in college and the workforce. A well-known fact is that these
earn far less than college graduates, rely much more on food stamps and other
social services, are more likely to end up in prison and often have children
destined to repeat these mistakes in an endless, hopeless cycle. This grim
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Mandakini Hiremath
reality not only dashes childrens dreams but also threatens our national
economy, security and vitality.
We are experiencing a cultural upheaval, and children are victimized
everywhere. They have no incentive for doing it right. Nowadays, there are
too many opportunities for a child to go wrong, yet children shape the nations
future. They need adults in their lives to motivate and guide them and to help
them succeed every step of the way. They need caring big brothers, sisters,
mentors, and guidance-counselors to teach them how to dream, persevere, and
bring their dreams to fruition. Education is the key to resolving unemployment
and poverty.
Today, we badly need educators, and, since youre considered the
privileged ones, you are expected to play a leading role in fulfilling this need,
so continue to learn about the world. Prepare to motivate and educate at-risk
youths. Recognize the talents of the underprivileged and try to uplift them. Be
an educator regardless of the field you enter to make your living. I believe that
everyone, regardless of his or her occupation, is a teacher of one sort or
another. As you work with the nations youths to better their lives, you are
making the world better for your own children to live in as well.
Live an honest, simple, contented life of conscience and gratitude. Dont
let others noisy opinions drown out your own inner voice. Do not listen to the
Glen Becks or the Sarah Palins, who ceaselessly rant and rave and become
very tiresome. You may remember when President Barack Obama delivered a
talk at Wakefield High School in Arlington, VA, to inspire the younger
generation to take responsibility for their education. He urged them, Go to
class and listen. Dont let failures define you. At the end of the day, we can
have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best
schools in the world. And none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your
responsibilities. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan responded, At the end
of the day, if the president motivates one C-student to become a B-student or
one student who is thinking about dropping out to stay in school and take their
education seriously, its all worth it. We have more homeless students than
weve ever had and teachers and social workers and counselors are working so
hard to keep them in school. Duncan added that it is not worth spending time
on silly stuff. Thus, try to focus on improving whats going on for our nations
children. There is always a place for negativity, blame games, and excuses.
However, it is always better to learn how to light a candle than to curse the
darkness. Choose to do the right thing when tough decisions come along; it is
not always going to be easy; you might have to make hefty sacrifices.
However, if you succeed in motivating even one youth at a time to stay in
school or help one to graduate and to improve his skills for success in college,
you should consider yourself successful. The only worthwhile measure of
358
Mandakini Hiremath
success is happiness. Success is defined as something that gives you

fulfillment in everything you do. It may be just a little favor that you do it for
someone or a big one; youre left feeling happy, and you think that life is
beautiful and must be enjoyed. And your children, family, and good friends
will proudly look up to you as a role model.
While leading the youth, be a real hero. A good hero is an ethical person
who chooses to do the right thing. He leads his men and inspires them with
words as well as through example. Especially in an era of political
correctness, while many are thriving to push their own agendas, our children
need to be taught right from wrong. And the teachers without prejudices who
teach our nations children to be accountable are the heroes. And such
dedicated teachers who toil to provide a good basic education for our youth
need to be admired.
Again, do not waste your precious time heeding silly noises. Check the
facts. Use your own educated discretion to validate your choices. Your time is
limited, so dont squander it living someone elses life. We need your energy,
optimism, vision, hopefulness. We need all of the good things you can bring
to us. So go out with the Claflin confidence to do great things, to make a
positive difference. Come home as often as you can to share your
accomplishments. Claflin University is your home.
Again, Class of 2010, it has been a pleasure and privilege to congratulate
you. May God bless you. We, the Claflin family, wish each one of you more
education to come and success in your every venture!
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Its all about you

May is the month for commencement speeches and congratulations and the
moment for tossing caps into the air to celebrate as the milestone is passed. So
graduates, commencement day is your day. Be happy; go out and celebrate
your success with your family and friends and get praised and appreciated. It
is all about you.
However, as the celebration ends, you need to start figuring out what you
really and truly want to do with your time and your energy to lead a contented
life. Though it is all about you, it is never about I, me, and mine. It is
about your passion, how you develop your holistic personality, your values
and self-esteem. Courage, confidence, and success begin with self-esteem, and
self-esteem begins with you! Of all the judgments you make in life, none is as
important as the one you make about yourself.
With your graduation, you will emerge from the nurturing confines of
academia to face the real world. You have been living inside a bubble,
protected from many of lifes harsh realities. Now, as youre to enter the wide
world, feel privileged, for youve received an education in a liberal arts
institution. It has helped you emerge as a well-rounded person and has
enriched your quality of life. However, there is always a space and time to
improve yourself. Learning is truly life-long. You have influence and control
over which traits and characteristics you want to develop or refine. It is all
about developing yourself into the very best you can be by recognizing your
strengths and weaknesses and working constantly on the areas that need
improvement.
The world you are born and grew up in is far different from the world of
your parents' youth. The world has technologically advanced too swiftly to
remember that the first battery-powered pocket calculator, which marked
the new era in technology, was invented only in the early 1970s. Today, it is
hard to even imagine living without a refrigerator, microwave, washer, dryer,
heating-cooling device, and computers. Technology has made our life easier,
faster and more comfortable. However, todays youths are constantly
consuming information from screens, media and commercials and have
become gluttons for texts, instant messages, emails, RSS feeds, downloads,
videos, status updates, and tweets. They're battling a storm of distraction that
is leading them to cluelessness and an inactive, sedentary lifestyle, and that
could cost them their health, comfort, privacy, family, happiness and success.
Thus, a 24/7 technology obsession is creating social, emotional, and physical
problems. And society as a whole is suffering from loneliness, insomnia,
arthritis, strained backs, necks, knees and fingers. People depend on drugs to
kill pain and get to sleep. Feeling overwhelmed, some people vow to live
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totally unplugged. But remember you live in a global family. Your career is
challenged everyday by hefty competition, so you need to stay informed.
Instead of embracing negative extremes, learn to use those tools to your
benefit. You are the one with the Remote Control. You need to pick and
choose, and prioritize what, when and how much you need to click the
Remote to stay informed. Instead of becoming enslaved to your devices, make
them serve you. It is not about unplugging, but its about turning off useless
noise, avoiding distraction and wasting your precious time. Its about finding
a healthy balance that works for you. Be a discriminating thoughtful measured
information consumer. Try to live free of influence. Freedom starts with the
kind of self-control known as self-ownership.
Live happy by keeping a healthy balance in every aspect of your life. It is
all about your choice; your life, and what you want out of it, and, in the end,
what you want to achieve and how you want to be perceived. You can be
successful in business, raise a successful family, serve the community by
lending a hand to the downtrodden and being an architect in shaping
childrens lives. You can do it all and have it all, if you dont waste your time.
Your, just as everybody elses, time is limited. Get organized to get on your
mission immediately. Identify problems and proudly persevere to solve them.
Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. Be
strong with your inner-self. Instead of jumping on the bandwagon, ask
selfishly what is in it for me. Do not entertain stupidity. Ignorance is hard to
overcome. Remember you may awaken a person who is fast asleep but never
will succeed awakening the one who is pretending to be asleep. Life will be
what you make it. Most important is have the courage to follow your heart and
intuition. Everything else is secondary. As Confucius advised, "Wherever you
go, go with all your heart," recognize your passion, calling and fulfill it
conscientiously to your hearts content. You may not be able to change or
shape the world as you desire, or as swiftly as you wish, but it is within your
power to live happily, while you build your career and raise your family
lovingly, by making a positive difference in the life of one person at a time.
Though it is all about you, never be full of it. Ego damages your spirit,
mind and health. Neither praise yourself nor slander others. Wise persons
have frequently advised that there are still many days to come, and anything
may happen. Yesterday is past; tomorrow hasnt been born yet, so today is the
only reality you may control. So, manage it conscientiously. Remember the
substance of your character is important and more valuable than appearance
and noise. Henry David Thoreau said, Noise proves nothing--often a hen
who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid. Therefore,
commit to only such acts as make you proud. Remember the difference
between being proud and being a bully. If you feel happy and successful,
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dont declare yourself a Superman. You will be happier and your success
will be more sustainable if others see your work and perceive it as great.
Always be humble, for knowledge is validated by humility. Humility enriches
your value. Enriched value brings wealth to you. Wealth enables you to
perform humanitarian deeds. Humanitarian deeds will bring blessings,
happiness, and peace to your heart. Lasting happiness and peace is all that
matters in this fleeting world.
May God bless you. We wish each one of you Godspeed.
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Its all about attitude

May 7th, 2014
It is said that attitude is everything. While ability is what one is capable of

doing and motivation determines what a person does, how well he does it
depends on his attitude. It describes a state of mind that governs the way one
perceives the world around him and his actions and behaviors in response. In
other words, attitude is a way a person may take on lifes blessings and
challenges. A person with a positive active attitude is a go-getter; equipped
with a winner attitude, he sees the glass half full. If you would like an
example, you dont need to go too far. He is right here on the Claflin
University campus.
In May 1965, a Claflinite boarded a bus to embark on his journey for
graduate studies. He was a magna cum laude Claflin graduate in mathematics
and never intended to return to South Carolina again. But, as he himself
humbly admits, life takes its own course and carries the individual along to his
destiny. With impressive academic credentials strengthened by 24 years of
teaching, mentoring, research, and administrative experience, with a vision
and strategy for his alma maters growth and progress, he returned in June
1994. Some of Claflins infrastructure was in poor condition; funds for
academic programs were lacking; athletics, though successful, lacked high
profile recognition. However, he was aware of his alma maters potential to
excel as an institution of higher education. Thus, with a can-do attitude, he
confidently took over the leadership as her eighth president. He is our very
own Dr. Henry N. Tisdale.
Presiding over his first matriculation day, Dr. Tisdale said, Claflin is a
very special place to live and learn. Students are our first priority, and he
asked them to make learning their first priority. He talked of the Claflin
confidence and of leaving the university with a very special sense of
confidence a confidence with which he left Claflin decades before. Dr.
Tisdale added, As a Christian college, we cannot be everything to everyone.
The universitys foundation is not to be compromised. We are proud of this
institution. Were proud of our traditions and our confidence. Be proud and
supportive of your alma mater. However, he advised, We are fully aware
that we are beginning a new era at Claflin and stated that Claflin was doing
the best with what she has and is striving to get better. Each one of us must
do his or her part if we want to move Claflin to a new level of excellence. He
then revealed his vision that Claflin become a premier liberal arts college in
the region, that the very mention of Claflin would spark references to
excellence. The community listened; newspapers covered the first major
address of a new president. A university newly full of promise, full of
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character, full of commitment, began with big dreams, big promises and big
visions, a time of great expectations.
Now two decades have passed. Dr. Tisdale has addressed 20 more
matriculation convocations and added to this number are spring convocations,
each semesters faculty institute, and each months faculty meeting. His
addresses are informative, convincing, encouraging and invigorating. At
Claflin University, I rarely hear talk about failure. Each year in September, I
look forward to listening to Dr. Tisdales Matriculation Day address, which
updates us on where we are, what we will be doing and what will be
happening at Claflin that academic year. A Matriculation Day ceremony
confirms our readiness and reminds each one that opportunity exists. I recall
Dr. Tisdale saying to the 2003 matriculation assembly, We have a reason to
celebrate, so we celebrate the past, the present, and the future vision of the
University. Today, we celebrate the Claflin passport to excellence. In
September 2004, Dr. Tisdale reminded the assembled that Claflin University
has once again been recognized by U.S. News and World Reports annual
publication, Guidebook to Americas Best Colleges and Universities. The
2005 edition places the Claflin University in the top tier for the seventh
consecutive year and in the top10 for the fourth consecutive year among
Southern comprehensive colleges for students working towards bachelors
degrees. According to the publication, which also recognizes the institutions
graduation rate as one of the top five in its class, Claflin is a Best Value.
After quoting Oliver Wendell Holmes statement The greatest thing in this
world is not where we are, but what direction we are moving, Dr. Tisdale
noted that the vision for this University has been meticulously crafted and
defined by the document entitled New Directions: A Vision of Excellence.
Speaking about the institutions priorities and quoting from Robert Frosts
The Road Not Taken, Dr. Tisdale said, We have taken the road less
traveled, and that has made all the difference. He added, We have
deliberately decided to define ourselves by the quality of our academic
achievement, and that has made the transformation a reality on our campus.
Academic excellence is going to stay our number-one priority. And then to
everyones delight, Dr. Tisdale announced that Claflins athletics affiliation
had moved from the National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics to the
National Collegiate Athletics Association, Division II.
Dr. Tisdales inaugural pledge to place Claflin University among the
premier liberal arts institutions not just in the southeast region but in the
United States was achieved when, in August 2008, Forbes.com listed the
University as the top Historically Black College or University in the country
and ranked Claflin in the top four percent nationally in their first-ever
rankings of Americas Best Colleges. U.S. News and World Reports
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Guidebook to Americas Best Colleges has included Claflin in its Top

Tier rankings among comprehensive baccalaureate granting institutions in
the South year after year consecutively. In its 2012 ranking, Claflin reached a
new plateau: for the first time, it was ranked in the top tier of national liberal
arts colleges and universities. Claflin was also ranked #1 in alumni giving
among HBCUs. Claflin continues to expand its national ranking among the
nations baccalaureate colleges and universities from the Washington
Monthly.
Claflin has and is constantly undergoing a phenomenal transformation in
all areas. The University continues its efforts to enhance academic excellence
and provide a quality education and has received national accreditation for
many of its programs. Keeping up with constant curricula reviews, Claflin has
been adding to the diversity of its offerings with new majors, new
undergraduate and graduate degree programs and is the only HBCU to offer
critical language studies to advance study abroad with national and
international student and faculty exchange programs. The cutting-edge
technology, the impressive renovations, award-winning entrances, the new
dining facility, residential halls, Legacy and Panther Plazas, the elegant
University chapel, and now the construction of Claflin Commons, the new
64,000 square foot three story state-of-the-art green residential hall complex,
which will be ready for occupancy in August 2014, are perhaps the most
visible changes. This beautified campus promotes a higher quality of life and
of education among students and inspires everyone to be proud and work even
harder for still better outcomes and for greater good. One cant help but walk
proudly on such a beautiful campus and relish such a success story!
How could President Tisdale stand so tall with a winning smile, adding
new jewels to his alma maters crown, especially with such limited resources
to start with? With his positive-active, go-getter attitude and shrewd
leadership, Dr. Tisdale advocates change by referring to books like Who
Moved My Cheese? Or Outliers: The Story of Success to keep the academic
business relevant and ahead of the curve. He is a natural motivator and
persuasive orator. He lays out his vision, states what is changing and why,
shows us why this matters to the institution, how it will positively impact our
institution and how we plan to measure success. He keeps an open-door
policy. Then, candidly, he shares the triumphs, appreciatively recognizes
coworkers outstanding accomplishments, congratulates, rewards and
encourages them to work even harder. He proactively gets off of the campus
seeking new funds, connections, opportunities, recognitions and awards for
the academy.
As a powerful leader, the head of the Claflin Family, he frequently reminds
us that Claflins Guiding Principles illustrate the Universitys value system.
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Each of us must accept responsibility as a family member and do it right.

He reads a poem like Dead from the Cold Inside to stress the importance of
unity and concludes his address by enumerating the lessons learned through
the building of Noahs ark, to stress the importance of co-workers getting
along and of hard work and perseverance. He admonishes us to be kinder and
fair. In the words of I Know Something Good about You, a poem he shares
with us, he asks, Wouldnt it be nice to practice this fine way of thinking
tooYou know something good about me. / I know something good about
you! Thus, he reminds us of his belief: life would be a lot happier if we
praised the good we see, for theres such a lot of goodness in the worst of each
one. Talking about how one should not ask anyone to perform certain tasks
that he cant perform himself, he quotes Matthew 7:120: Do unto others as
you would have others do unto you. He asks us to be conscientious. With his
attitude, Dr. Tisdale has spread his attitude of culture and character across the
campus, and it has rippled throughout the community.
Dr. Tisdale, a leal and loyal son of Claflin, says, I love Claflin
University. The Hilltop High is certainly a special place to live, learn and
work. I believe in my heart that Claflin carries the special legacy of
preparing phenomenal leaders. My time at Claflin is a blessing and an answer
to Gods call for me. I believe and you must believe that the best is yet to
come. God is not finished with Claflin University. And he invites the
graduates saying, Claflin University is your home, so do come home as often
as you can.
Certainly! I do believe that the best for Claflin is yet to come. Dr. Tisdale,
an outstanding leader serving in support of education, is destined to stay on
top. Lifting the younger generation up to the top has become the mission of
his life, so he must stay on the top. And Claflin Universitys every rung goes
higher and higher.
Graduates, use this positive, active, winner attitude to develop your
individual and collective selves so that you and the generation to come will
not only remember this institutions tradition and legacy, but embody
President Tisdales greatness. Let your Claflin inheritance determine your
altitude. May your sailing be smooth. May the God Almighty be with you to
guide you and lead you in the right direction.
We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
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Note: The columns, The Captain of the Pequod and The Captain of Claflin University
are not commencement convocation columns. However, since the preceding column Its all
about attitude features Dr. Henry N. Tisdale and illustrates his leadership and achievement,
these two columns are inserted in the same reference.
The Captain of the Pequod

Part I
The other day my son, Mayur, telephoned. As usual, he started the

conversation with, Hey, Mom! What are you up to? Nothing much, just
browsing through the pages of Herman Melvilles novel, I responded. Moby
Dick? Not again, he reacted. As I said, I cant help it! Its such a classic
book with its timeless themes, Keep on, said he. We both laughed.
Moby Dick is a haunting but significant tale about vengeance and
destruction. When a person is consumed by vengeance, getting even becomes
a passion, an obsession, a cancer of the soul. In the end it destroys the one
who is filled with hate.
The story focuses on the great whaling ship, the Pequod. Under the
leadership of Captain Ahab, the crew quickly learns that Ahab is on the quest
of tracking down the white whale, Moby Dick, which took his leg years ago.
The Captain confesses his burning desire for revenge and convinces his crew
for help.
Night after night, day after day, Ahab pores over the charts of the worlds
seas, plotting a course that he hopes will take him to Moby Dick. The story
reaches its climax in a mighty confrontation with the whale. In the throes of a
hurricane, Ahab and his crew battle the great white whale for three days,
piercing his side with harpoons, attacking, and retreating as the night goes on.
On the first day at the sighting of the whale, the boats are lowered. The
whale seems to glide rather joyously along the water. As they near him, after
almost an hour, the furious whale changes his course and suddenly bites
Ahabs boat with his huge jaws, smashing it into two parts. As Ahab is thrown
into the water, Moby Dick angrily circles in the area. The Pequod bears down
on the area and comes between the whale and the floundering seamen.
Another boat rescues them all. However, Moby Dick escapes. The second
morning as the fighting restarts, the harpoons of all three boats find their mark
in Moby Dicks huge sides; as the whale thrashes about, two of the boats
collide and are smashed to bits. Moby Dick dives; as he rises, Ahabs boat
capsizes again. The chase ends for that day. The Pequod picks all up but the
Parsee Fedallah, Ahabs personal harpooner. The third day, Ahab drives a
harpoon into Moby Dicks side. The force of the whales rising damages the
other two boats. Ahab bids the two boats to return to the Pequod. However,
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the Captain refuses to run when he has a chance, even though he has nothing
more to face the giant with than a small boat and harpoons. With all the hate
and strength he can muster, he thrusts the harpoons into the whale only to find
out that his rope is wrapped around his own neck. He is dragged into the
depths of the sea and drowned.
The angered Moby Dick dives his massive forehead into the side of Pequod,
splintering its bow. The Pequod sinks. Only Ishmael, the narrator survives by
clinging to a floating coffin. After nearly 24 hours, he is rescued by the other
whaling ship, the Rachel.
Ahab considers Moby Dick the great force of evil in the world. And he is
determined to subdue it with more hate and more evil. Ahab's quest for
revenge eventually causes his destruction as well as the destruction of those
on board the Pequod.
The reader is reminded repeatedly throughout the novel that the ship and
its crew are predestined for catastrophe. There is a plethora of ominous
forewarnings: The Spouter Inn Peter Coffin is described in terms of a
sinking ship; Father Mapples stirring sermon on Jonah and the Whale exhorts
his listeners to deny sin and uphold the truth. But above all, the true delight of
life and great achievement of man comes when he acknowledges no law, no
force except for the Lord his God. Calling the signing up for the Pequod a
tragedy, Elijah, the stranger, asks for Gods mercy on them; the fate of the
Pequod is made obvious with the description of the painting of a gigantic
whale, which is symbolic of the dark and mysterious aspects of the ocean. On
the very first of the three days of intense fighting, a flock of white birds circles
Ahabs head; as Parsee Fedallah, Ahabs personal harpooner, dies on the
second day, the reader is asked, Has the omen been fulfilled? Will the Parsee
be Ahabs pilot in another world ? And as the omen claims, Ahab sees the
Parsee twice on the third and last day as the Pequod is put under full sail to
catch the creature. And that is the end of Ahab, his crew and the Pequod.
Moby Dick, an allegory, is filled with metaphors. Plenty of chances exist
for the Captain to escape from the enraged deadly jaws of the White Whale,
Moby Dick. Despite the efforts of his sane crew members and repeated
frightening warnings and the efforts of the captains of the other whaling ships,
the Enderby and the Rachel, to abandon the mad chase, the Captain, blinded
by pride and anger, plunges ahead with his altered course, which leads him to
annihilation. Tree of pride and anger always bears fruits of destruction,
teaches Bhagavad-Gita. Ahab lacked faith; he did not have scriptural wisdom.
What a waste of humanity! However sad Captain Ahabs life story is, I
feel sadder for the crew members who lost their lives as they assisted their
captain in his insane quest. I cant help but ponder how lucky are the crew
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members on the ship that is always headed toward success with the visionary
leadership of the captain. What a win/win story that would be!
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The Captain of Claflin University

Part II
As my thoughts lingered on the tragic end of Captain Ahab, his crew, and
the Pequod, I pondered how Dr. Henry N. Tisdale, Claflin Universitys
president, has been addressed time and time again as the Captain by guests
of honor, visitors, and keynote speakers at Claflin Universitys assemblies.
Before proceeding with their themes, they have paid tribute to Captain
Tisdales visionary leadership.
New York Senator and presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton, before
addressing the Class of 2007 at the commencement ceremony, acknowledged
him appropriately in these words: President Tisdale, thank you for your
visionary leadership of this university. Under your tenure, Claflin has seen
academic standards increased, the campus extended, and new learning
opportunities made available to these fine students. The numerous honors and
awards bestowed upon this university are testaments of your leadership, so, if
I may, let me ask all gathered today to take a moment to express our gratitude
to President Tisdale for his leadership at Claflin.
As my thoughts proceed, I cant help thinking metaphorically about Claflin
University, a ship, the Claflin family, her crew, and Claflins visionary leader,
the Captain, Dr. Tisdale, and discreetly comparing the captains, Tisdale and
Ahab and wondering why these two are as distinctively different as heaven
and earth.
As Rome was not built in a day, Claflins success coincidentally didnt
fall suddenly from above. Claflins excellence is achieved by design.
Even before he took office on July 1, 1994, Dr. Tisdale said in his speech
titled Strategic Vision delivered in January 1994, My vision for Claflin is
that of an institution of the highest quality that demonstrates her commitment
to excellence by continuously striving for better. Dr. Tisdale envisioned a
high-quality teaching, learning, and working environment with excellent
academic programs and resources for students and faculty.
Claflin University has built a name for itself as one of the most respected
universities in the community and country. If one desires to see how it has
been done, all he or she has to do is take a careful look at the strategies,
values, and principles with which the Captain leads the academy.
In the beginning, as he addressed the Claflin family at the institute, Dr.
Tisdale defined stupidity as doing the same thing again and again, and
expecting different results. The intelligent, stylish and determined Captain
insisted: If it doesnt work, change the strategy to thrive. Remember Who
Moved My Cheese? An A-Mazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work
and in Your Life by Spencer Johnson is his favorite book. The existing cheese
gets old and smelly, the supply dwindles, and then it disappears. Old beliefs
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Mandakini Hiremath
Do Not Lead to New Cheese. The Quicker you let go of the Old Cheese, the
Sooner you Find the New Cheese. These lessons are ingrained in Dr.
Tisdales leadership strategy. Going for new cheese (cheese is a metaphor for
whatever one desires in life. For the mice, it is cheese, but for the little people,
it could be success, happiness, or financial security), striding towards the
future with newly designed long- range planning, he inspires his team workers
to do well under any circumstance.
In his 1994 Matriculation Day address, Claflins Captain challenged each
student and every other member of the Claflin family as well to do his or her
best to move Claflin to a new level of excellence. He stated that education is
still the key to success: I challenge you to work hard, be persistent, always
do the right thing, be unselfish, know history, believe in God. And here, we
must remember that in his very first address as president, Dr. Tisdale spoke
about the importance of team work. Claflin is a family, and one should not ask
anyone to perform certain tasks that he cant perform himself. He ended his
address by quoting Matthew 7:12: Do unto others as you would have others
do unto you. Its obvious that our captain is a man of faith, a man who
respects God out of love, not out of fear, and accepts that God, who loves him,
loves other persons too. Thus, Captain Tisdale follows a code of leadership
that inspires confidence, trust and admiration.
At the outset, Dr. Tisdale announced his guiding principles for the
academy: commitment to excellence, valuing people, being customer focused,
quality educational programs, and financial responsibility. They illustrate the
universitys value system and challenge each of us to accept responsibility as
a family member and to do it right. As Oliver Wendell Holmes states, The
greatest thing in this world is not where we are, but what direction we are
moving. Captain Tisdale says the vision for this University has been
meticulously crafted and defined by the document entitled New Directions:
A Vision of Excellence. Speaking about the institutions priorities and
quoting from Robert Frosts The Road Not Taken, the Captain said, We
have taken the road less traveled, and that has made all the difference. He
added, We have deliberately decided to define ourselves by the quality of our
academic achievement, and that has made the transformation a reality on our
campus. Academic excellence is going to stay our number-one priority. How
we have implemented academic excellence has become the best-kept secret,
he adds, a best-kept secret in higher education that doesnt have a football
program to garner publicity.
As a good captain, he gently and patiently builds a consensus, prodding
people while simultaneously listening, learning and involving them. He wants
visitors to know that he genuinely wants to hear what they have to say.
However, as a leader (as seen in many meetings), when an issue or situation
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gets entangled in an endless argument, he listens for a while and then stands
up, saying, Let me take over this. Explaining the matter, he makes final
decisions, putting his own hard-won experience to work.
In Dr. Tisdales reign, power is shared and responsibilities are divided. He
opines, It is people who get things done. Everybody has a role to play,
regardless of his or her position or rank. Claflin University is where faculty
teach, students learn, and administrators lead. Holding all responsible for
fulfilling their duties, Dr. Tisdale tells parents that Claflin will take
responsibility for providing a good education and helping their sons and
daughters become responsible adults, but they must be supportive.
I remember the day an NCATE accreditation meeting was called after 5
p.m. As the NCATE coordinator took the floor to update the faculty on the
committees progress, saying, I know we all are tired; its been a long day.
Ill be brief, our captain stood up and said, We are engaged, not tired. Please
keep going. His long working hours dont keep him from being an
affectionate family man. When the Claflin University Board of Trustees
awarded him a two-month sabbatical to honor his 12 years of successful
leadership, he was asked at the faculty meeting about his plans. He promptly
responded, I need to spend some time with my much deserving family.
And then He couldnt pull himself completely away from work. He
encourages the faculty as he bids goodbye to them for summer vacation: Its
time for a much-needed break for the faculty. Taking a break now and then
helps improve productivity. Relax. Have fun with your family. Read the book
that is pushed back on the shelf due to the lack of time.
The impressive renovations of the campus are perhaps the most visible
changes: award-winning entrances (front and rear), renovations of Ministers
Hall and Tingley Hall, the transformation of the Lee Building into the Arthur
Rose Museum, and the new dining facility, residential halls, and Legacy and
Panther Plazas. This beautified campus promotes a higher quality of life and
of education among students. It is important that an institutions surroundings
support the vision of its people. However, it is the accomplishment of its
people that is the true measure of Claflins success.
The honors awarded and the recognitions announced time and time again
add to the jeweled crown of this institution and are quite a tribute to this 137year-old grand old lady, and, hence, to Captain Tisdale. Claflins every rung
climbs higher and higher to demonstrate that still better days are ahead for
Claflin.
However, this column is not about Claflins growth in its annual budgets,
endowment, diversified enrollment, average SAT score, retention, percentage
of faculty with terminal degrees, successful capital campaigns; the addition of
undergraduate majors and masters programs, accolades and recognitions; or,
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for that matter, Claflins being ranked in the top tier as an outstanding
comprehensive liberal arts institution in the Southeast region for the past 11
years by U.S. News & World Report and number three of the top five best
value private colleges and universities in the nation by Consumers Digest,
and the HBCU with the second highest graduation rate among very selective
HBCUs by the Chronicle of Higher Education, or the honors, awards, and
recognitions Captain Tisdale has received for his stellar leadership.
This column pays a genuine tribute to the man who has talked the talk and
walked the walk as a captain to fulfill his promises to everyones benefit.
Claflin has remained true to its historical charge, says our captain.
Confidently and proudly he adds, Claflin has no limits in terms of its vision
and its excellence. At Claflin, if its not about excellence, we dont do it.
No wonder! Captain Tisdale comes out, along with his crew and the ship,
with flying colors when compared to Captain Ahab, who annihilated himself,
his crew and his ship. Certainly, as Claflins most outstanding alumnus and
effective president, Dr. Tisdale shines luminously with his grace, humility,
and faith in God in the jeweled crown of his alma mater. Unequivocally,
Claflin Universitys history will write his name in capital letters.
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Weather the Storms of Life

Baccalaureate Reflection, 2006
Baccalaureate is an occasion to assemble as a family for the purpose of

bowing our heads and hearts to the Lord Almighty and giving honor and
thanks. In keeping with 134 years of this universitys religious heritage, Dr.
Henry N. Tisdale, president, recognized the need to revive the baccalaureate
service and convinced others of its vitality. This occasion provides us with an
opportunity to pause and acknowledge that we did not get here all by
ourselves. The baccalaureate service in 2003 was the first in 30 years.
Baccalaureate serves as a reminder to our graduating seniors that the
Almighty God has been with them all the while; when they couldnt carry
themselves, the Lord carried them. Therefore, Dr. Tisdale instructed them to
take this opportunity to thank the Lord Almighty for many blessings and to
realize that there are many blessings awaiting them as they leave this
university: Of course, you need to pray for those blessings, so take God with
you wherever you go. And we, the Claflin family, wish each one of you
Godspeed.
The Rev. Mack C. McClam, pastor of Francis Burns United Methodist
Church, Columbia, SC, was the speaker at the baccalaureate service in 2006.
The Rev. McClam referred to the Gospel, Luke 8:22-25, which tells how
one day Jesus got into a boat with his disciples and said to them, Let us go
across to the other side of the lake. While they were sailing, Jesus fell asleep.
A windstorm swept down on the lake, the boat started filling with water, and
the disciples thought they were in danger of capsizing.
Shouting, they woke Jesus up, exclaiming, Master, Master, we are
perishing. Jesus responded by asking, Where is your faith? Jesus rebuked
the wind and the raging waves. The frightened, amazed disciples said to one
another, Who then is this that he commands even the winds and the water,
and they obey him?
The Rev. McClam announced the subject of the baccalaureate address as
stormy weather and proclaimed that each one is bound to face stormy weather
in his or her lifetime; however, weathering the storms of life is going to be
increasingly difficult as soon as one departs from the Lords way. Although
some members of the graduating class might not have encountered one of
lifes storms yet, he provided the following alert: And I say yet . . . because
I dare to say, brothers and sisters, if you have not encountered one of lifes
storms, keep on living.
The Rev. McClam recalled how cheerful he had been when he woke up
that morning; he felt gratified to be alive in this world. He mentioned to the
graduates that he was well aware of the significance of this beautiful day and
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how it has been a struggle for some and more of a struggle for others to get
here.
The Rev. McClam reminded the graduates of Dr. Tisdales words to them:
You didnt get here all by yourself. You have spent X number of years to get
where you are today. The good news is that all this time you were standing on
somebody elses shoulders so that someone else can stand on your shoulders
later. I wish I could tell you that, based on what you have accomplished,
everything is going to be all right. However, I must tell you the truth about
major accomplishments: They are about stumbling. No matter how you start
off today, somewhere in the distant future storms are gathering, moving in
your direction. If you refuse to see, you surely will drift away.
The Rev. McClam said that he was not trying to tell the graduates
anything new. He was certain that Claflin has done an excellent job in that
regard.
He said that he came to remind them of something that they already know:
In this life you will encounter storms. . . . Remember that even when storms
start rising, God is still and He is great.
Jesus told the disciples to get into the boat and to cross to the other side,
and he got into the boat with them. Now, the Rev. McClam said, that is
not difficult for me; whatever boat I am riding in, I want Jesus in it. Its all
right to ride in whatever you want to ride in, but put Jesus in it. Jesus told
them to get into the boat, so they did. You should be doing what God tells you
to do. However, the storm will still be upon you. The Reverend reaffirmed
his point: Even though you are doing what the Lord has told you to do, still
expect storms to come.
Saying Its ridiculous to tell you about the storms in life but not to tell
you how to deal with the storms in life, the Rev. McClam again recounted
the incident from the Gospel of Luke. If you allow Jesus to fall asleep in your
life, life might get worse because we fail to call upon him enough. At some
time in your life you might feel all alone, all by yourself, but there is always
somebody with you. So keep company with Jesus. Dont forget wisdom when
the storm comes. Sometimes the storm comes from within because of a lack
of clear direction. You are confused. Therefore, let Jesus accompany you in
your every sailing. The Rev. McClam suggested that students deal with a
storm by staying close to the Master, by reading the Bible, by serving the
Lord, by serving each other, and by going home with Him so when the storm
comes, the Lord Almighty always will be there.
To illustrate his message, the Rev. McClam told a story about a young man
who was looking for a job. A father needed someone to help him to manage
his property. He zeroed in on this strong young man, an excellent worker.
During stormy weather, the father ran to this young mans door, knocked,
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entered and tried to get him up, but the young man rolled over and slept on.
When the father ran outside to secure the property himself, he noticed that
everything had already been made secure. Then he sat down quietly and said,
Well, I know now why this young man can sleep so soundly in stormy
weather. The young man didnt need to worry, for he had gotten everything
in order before the storm arrived.
The Rev. McClam concluded by stating, We have enlightened you
intellectually and spiritually. If youve gotten everything ready, you dont
have to stay up at night worrying. Always stay ready and when the storm
comes, call upon Jesus. He will see you through!
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So go out and stain the world with your ability

Reflection on baccalaureate service, May 2003 and 2004
Baccalaureate is an occasion to assemble as a family to bow our heads and

hearts to the Lord Almighty and to give honor and thanks. The baccalaureate
service in 2003 was the first in 30 years. Dr. Henry N. Tisdale, president, said
in his introductory speech that the revival of the baccalaureate is in keeping
with 134 years of this universitys religious heritage. And it is also the way to
pause and acknowledge that we did not get here all by ourselves.
It serves as a reminder for our graduating seniors that the Almighty God
has been with them all the while; when they couldnt carry themselves, the
Lord carried them. Therefore, Dr. Tisdale instructed them to take this
opportunity to thank the Lord Almighty for the many blessings and to realize
that there are many blessings awaiting them as they leave this university: Of
course, you need to pray for those blessings, so take God with you wherever
you go. And we the Claflin family wish each one of you Godspeed.
The Rev. Dr. Clyde Anderson, elected chief executive officer by the
United Methodist City Society Board of Directors and a 1977 graduate, and
Bishop Rhymes H. Moncure, Jr., from Nebraska were guest speakers at the
baccalaureate event for the respective years 2003 and 2004.
According to both speakers, nothing in this world should be able to
separate you from the love of God. If you were to travel from the highest to
the lowest points in the universe or anywhere in between, you would never
arrive at a place from which you would be able to escape. When you are
spiritually grounded, it does not matter where you go, for God is with you.
The speakers advised the seniors to be grateful to those who have helped
them to come this far. The Rev. Dr. Anderson said, A lot of credit for being
where you are today goes to your professors, advisors, staff, and
administrators, for they have given you every bit of themselves to teach you,
to guide you, to challenge you, to prod you, at times to cajole you, and even at
times to threaten you, but this is all coming together this evening, so it is
appropriate to pause for a moment to say, Thank you, and express your
gratitude.
The graduates are about to enter a new world. Change is hard; it is
difficult, but it is necessary and inevitable. We must understand that the world
changes, and we must be ready. In order to embrace the changes, we must
change our behavior and thinking. Unless youre willing to make necessary
changes in your life, you are going to suffer from power-time paralysis,
admonished Rev. Anderson. He added that a power-time paralysis is a disease
that destroys your identity; it destroys your culture; you must be willing to
stand before the world and to explain without shame and without apology.
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Organizations come and go; so do occupations; you are destined to have

multiple careers in numerous places in the world, but on top of that you will
find your professional inclinations are subject to their own rhythms and their
own beat in their own place.
Expect professional engagements and challenges to be filled with elements
of surprise; be prepared for disappointments and failures. You may stumble
and fall. Fall on your back so that you will see what is happening in the world
and get up to face it. Regardless of what you do, remember that your life
needs to be filled with confidence. Your confidence and your strength are
going to take you where you want to go.
You need to stretch your mind to reach and grow beyond your limits in
order to face the challenges. When something is asked or demanded of you,
reach into your own reservoir of capacity; excel and prepare to meet expected
demands.
Learn to express yourself and be a good person. Ask yourself what it takes
to be a decent human being. The question may sound very abstract. But it is
the most practical among the many you have to face. Addressing it will
require you to struggle with social and personal adjustments that make the
answers difficult to determine.
Here at Claflin, in and out of the classroom, you have prepared for morally
complex and testing moments and it would be good to hear you say that what
you find in the real world is not so different. This is the real world that you
have been a part of for the last four years. If you have done your work, you
are ready for the change. Your journey may take you to places where you
have never been or have imagined going. To illustrate their message, both
speakers related a story.
The Rev. Dr. Clyde Anderson narrated a story of a farmer and his hound.
On their journey, the dog fell into an abandoned well. The dog moaned
incessantly as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the
animal was old and the well needed to be covered up. Therefore, the farmer
went around the neighborhood asking for help. The neighbors took their
shovels to help him cover the well and to put an end to the misery of the old
hound. As they began to shovel the dirt, the dog stayed quiet. A few loads of
dirt later, the farmer was astonished as he peeked into the well to see that,
with every load of dirt, the dog was able to shake off the dirt and step up.
Pretty soon the dog victoriously stood up on the edge of the well. The Rev.
Anderson emphasized how we need to stand up to reach our goals, although at
times we may experience the world as cold and cynical. At times on your
journey, life may shovel some dirt on you, but learn to shake it off and use
that dirt to climb high.
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Bishop Moncure related a story about his favorite white robe, which had
been presented to him on the occasion of the churchs centennial. The robe
was stained during a communion service when a little girl accidentally spilled
grape juice on it. The dry cleaners couldnt remove the stain, but the bishop
was not ready to throw away his favorite robe because of the memories and
history attached to it. When anyone says to him, What a beautiful robe you
are wearing, but, oh, there is a stain on it here, the bishop responds, Thank
you. He wears the stain with pride as a reminder that God has stained the
earth with the spirit of Jesus. The stain reminds the bishop of his purpose in
life. He concluded, So go out and stain the world with your ability; make a
difference; change the world for the better.
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MOTHERS DAY
COLUMNS
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Lets salute all mothers

Mothers Day, May 8, 2003
"She gave me love as well as life, so whatever goodness I may bring to Earth
begins with the gift of my mother's heart.'' -- Author Unknown
Being born and raised in a culture that reveres mother as a first god and
believes that the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world, I
find Mother's Day a great opportunity to celebrate motherhood and to
remember our mothers -- whether biological, foster or adoptive.
By a joint resolution approved on May 8, 1914, Congress designated the
second Sunday in May of each year as "Mother's Day'' and requested the
president to call for its appropriate observance. This day is to reflect on all we
have gained from our mothers' guidance and remember their sacrifices.
Mothers hold a special place in our hearts. They are symbols of care, concern
and love. They embody compassion, devotion and energy. Mothers impart
both the strength that enables us to face our challenges and love that comforts
and sustains us.
Just to emphasize on mother's angelic qualities, I quote the following
stanza from the poem, "Rock Me to Sleep'' written by Elizabeth Akers Allen
(1832-1911):
Over my heart, in the days that are flown,
No love like mother-love ever has shone
No other worship abides and endures
Faithful, unselfish, and patient like yours:
None like mother can charm away pain
From the sick and world-weary brain
Slumber's soft calms o'er my heavy lids creep
Rock me to sleep, Mother -- rock me to sleep!
As we honor our mothers for past and present accomplishments, we
recognize that mothers' roles have changed significantly in recent years.
Today's mothers are CEOs, teachers, physicians, nurses, elected officers,
police officers, volunteers, homemakers and heads of households. Many serve
on the front lines of life's struggle and poverty. These mothers are problemsolvers, care-givers and teachers, regardless. They use their talents in every
sector of our society helping their own and all the children through their
professions to look forward with hope and faith in the future.
However, please keep in mind, no matter how angelic a mother may be in
characteristics, she still is human, not a Superwoman who never gets tired,
never gets sick, and never needs anything. On the other hand, she feels tired,
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she needs to be shown and told that she is loved and she deserves this day,
Mother's Day, off!
Therefore, let us salute all mothers and wish them ''Happy Mother's Day,''
for their happiness and smile is going to make each one happy and smile.
Present her with the most valuable gift of love by telling her, "I love you
Mom! You did a good job in raising me!''
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Mandakini Hiremath
Honoring mothers
May 6, 2004
"All I am or can be I owe to my angel mother." -- Abraham Lincoln

Being born and raised in a culture that reveres mother as a first god and
believes that the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world, I
find Sunday's Mother's Day observance a great opportunity to celebrate
motherhood and to remember our mothers -- whether biological, foster, or
adoptive.
Though the earliest traditions of honoring mothers may have begun in
ancient Greece in honor of Rhea, the Mother of the Gods, eventually similar
holidays took place around the world. During the 1600s England celebrated
the fourth Sunday of Lent to honor the mothers of England. The day was
called "Mothering Sunday."
In the United States, Mother's Day was first suggested in 1872 by Julia
Ward Howe as a day dedicated to peace. In 1907, Ana Jarvis from
Philadelphia began a campaign to establish a national Mother's Day by
persuading her mother's church to celebrate Mother's Day on the second
anniversary of her mother's death, the second Sunday of May. Finally, by a
joint resolution approval on May 8, 1914, Congress designated the second
Sunday in May of each year as "Mother's Day" and requested that President
Woodrow Wilson call for its appropriate observation. This is the day to reflect
on all we have gained from our mothers' guidance and remember their
sacrifices.
The other day, when I ran into one of my native friends and noticed her
expectant motherhood, I asked her when the baby was due.
She responded, "August 15," and I couldn't help but respond spontaneously
with a smile, saying, "What a fantastic way to lose your independence on the
day we celebrate India's Independence!" The day one joins the crew called
"Motherhood," there is no turning back. The life of that person is changed
physically and emotionally, by all means for good. The value of a mother's
love and the enormous depths of her commitment are, at times, unfathomable.
Mother is a perfect embodiment of the unique combination of tenderness and
strength.
Several years ago, I remember, an article in National Geographic painted
an incredible picture of God's wings. After a forest fire in Yellowstone
National Park, forest rangers trekked up a mountain to assess the inferno
damage. One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched
statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree.
Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, the ranger knocked the bird over
with a stick only to see that three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead
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mother's wings. Frantically aware of impending disaster, the devoted mother

had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under
her wings, instinctively knowing the toxic smoke would rise. She could have
flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies. When the blaze had
arrived and heat had singed her tiny body, the mother had remained dedicated,
even to the extent to dying if those covered under her wings would live.
Oliver Wendell Holmes said, "Youth fades, love droops, the leaves of
friendship fall; a mother's secret hope outlives them all." At times, mothers are
pictured as angels with wings or as goddesses; however, I would rather see
just an everyday mother, without divine wings or supernatural power, who
undertakes all the challenges dished out by the world and stands unwaveringly
to raise her children with confidence, patience and everlasting, unconditional
love.
police officers, volunteers, homemakers and heads of households. Many serve
in poverty on the front line of life's struggle.
By nature, these mothers are problem-solvers, care-givers and teachers.
They use their talents in every sector of our society, helping their own and all
the children through their positions to look forward with hope and faith in the
future.
Let us salute and wish all mothers "Happy Mother's Day," for their
happiness and smile are going to make each one happy and smile. Present her
with the most valuable gift of love by telling her, "I love you, Mom! You did
a good job in raising me!!"
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Mandakini Hiremath
Honoring mothers: Mother, a magnet

Saturday, May 7, 2005
The 2004 Mother's Day weekend turned out to be mild and sunny. That
Sunday afternoon, while I was taking a stroll in the Edisto Memorial Gardens
and reflecting on events that were going to take place that month, my chain of
thought was broken when I saw a bubbly 3-year-old, with a rose in hand,
dashing into her mother's arms, declaring, Mommy, Mommy, I love you." The
mother, with her arms wide open, grabbed her baby to embrace her tightly, as
if never to let her go. Noticing the tears in her eyes, I queried, with a smile,
The first one?"
"Not really! This is my 21st." As I stared at her in awe, she explained, "I
have been a teacher to 20 preschoolers." Laughing and conversing, we landed
on a bench close to a swing set, and her daughter returned to the group that
she was swinging with. "Lucky mother of 21! Happy Mother's Day to you," I
wished her. With a smile, she thanked me and added, "It's a challenge, but I
enjoy every bit of it." "Still, at times, it must be overwhelming," I added.
Certainly! There're days, but it goes with the territory," she responded
candidly and related an incident that had taken place a week ago.
That day's lesson was about magnets. As she briefly explained to her
students about ferrite, permeability and the permanent magnet, she noticed
that they were bored and that the lesson was over their head.
She divided the group into four subgroups and handed to each group a
container with nails, coins and a magnet as she explained the mysterious
powers of magnets.
As soon as the lecture was over, the children couldn't wait to move around
with the magnets to pick up coins and nails. One group attached all five pieces
and picked up the nails and coins in one attempt. The children were excited,
and the teacher was pleased.
The next day, when it was time to review the previous day's lesson, she
asked the class, "What picks up things?" Without a moment's delay,
spontaneously all screamed in unison, "Mother!"
Though dumbfounded for a moment, I too realized, as the teacher did, how
innocent and truthful the children's response was! Mother is endowed with
magnetic force to play an indispensable role to better each child's life.
Of course! Mother is there to pick up things and clean up the mess that is left
behind every time. Haven't you read the sign "Clean up after yourself; your
mother doesn't work here!" I think you get the idea.
The word "magnet" has two meanings: first, "affectionate stone" and
second, "magnet." A piece of iron is pulled toward a magnet, just as a child is
attracted to an affectionate mother. The "magnet" was literally recognized as
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Mandakini Hiremath
an "affectionate stone" in China. Today, magnetic parts are widely used in

different kinds of hardware that enrich our daily life and play increasingly
indispensable role in the electronics industry, just as mothers are a central part
of their children's lives.
police officers, volunteers, homemakers, and heads of household. They use
their talents in every sector of our society and help their children and all
children, through their professions, to look forward with faith and hope in the
future. Many serve on the front line of life's struggle with poverty. These
mothers -- biological foster, or adoptive -- are problem-solvers, care-givers
and teachers, regardless. They hold a special place in our hearts. They are
symbols of care, concern and love. They embody compassion, devotion and
energy. Mothers impart both the strength that enables us to face our
challenges and the love that comforts and sustains us.
However, please keep in mind that a strong mother is still human, not a
Superwoman who never gets tired, never gets sick, or never needs anything.
Instead, she feels tired, she needs to be shown and told that she is loved and
cared about and that she deserves Sunday, Mother's Day, off!
Let us salute all our mothers and wish them "Happy Mother's Day," for
their happiness and smiles make each one happy and smile. Present her with
the most valuable gift of love by telling her, "I love you, Mom! You did a
good job in raising me!"
Let us wish happy Mother's Day to all mothers.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Mothers are unsung heroes

Mothers Day, 2006
Mothers who raise their children with love and devotion deserve a standing
ovation. Commitment, dedication, and perseverance are the hallmarks of the
unsung hero.
During spring break, I visited a young mother, a physician. As soon as I
entered her home, she greeted me with respect and asked me, Aunty, would
you like to hold the baby? As I held the two-month-old baby, she sat very
close to me and watched each move of the baby. Noticing her intense gaze,
uncombed hair, uncoordinated attire, and rather strained eyes, I asked her with
a smile, How is motherhood treating you? I enjoy every bit of it, but its
different, not the same. At times its so overwhelming that I feel like
screaming, Give me one weekend to live as freely as before I was married
and had a baby, she candidly confided.
Fortunately, my parents live in the same city. Keeping the baby with her,
my mother tries to send me out on dates with my husband. However, when I
am away from him, I never feel at ease or complete. I feel part of me is
missing, so we rush back home, canceling our plans for the evening. Would
you believe that I havent had a sound sleep even for a night since his birth?
confessed the young mother.
The day one joins the crew called "Motherhood," there is no turning back.
The life of that person is changed physically and emotionally. The value of a
mother's love and the enormous depths of her commitment are, at times,
unfathomable. Mother is the perfect embodiment of the unique combination
of tenderness and strength.
A mothers responsibility for her childs wellbeing is as pervasive as her
love for her child. One may remember the recent case of Amelia Cojocaru,
mother of a 40-something-year-old son, who donated her kidney to save her
sons life. Her son, Steven Cojocaru, a correspondent for the syndicated
television shows Entertainment Tonight and The Insider, was devastated
when he learned that he needed a kidney transplant. Soon after the transplant
in January, he suffered from polyoma, a rare disease that infected his
transplanted kidney, necessitating its surgical removal in June. He searched
for a second donor and continued his battle for life while sustained by daily
dialysis treatments, 7-hour procedures that took place while he slept. The
broken-hearted mother couldnt stand to see her formerly confident, feisty,
and strong son becoming increasingly vulnerable, helpless, and weak as he
continued his battle after an emotionally and physically depleting ordeal.
Learning that she was a perfect match and setting aside potential risks,
especially the age factor, Amelia Cojocaru, blessed by good health, rushed to
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give the gift of life to her son, to end his excruciatingly painful battle, and to
strengthen her physical and emotional ties with him for a second time.
Oliver Wendell Holmes said, "Youth fades, love droops, the leaves of
friendship fall; a mother's secret hope outlives them all." At times, mothers are
pictured as angels or as goddesses; however, I see just an everyday mother,
without divine wings or supernatural power, who undertakes all the challenges
dished out by the world and fate and stands unwaveringly to raise her children
with confidence, patience and everlasting, unconditional love.
Today's mothers are CEOs, teachers, physicians, nurses, elected officials, law
enforcement officers, volunteers, homemakers and heads of households. Many
serve in poverty on the front line of life's struggle. By nature, these mothers
are problem-solvers, care-givers and teachers. They use their talents in every
sector of our society, helping, through their positions, their own and all
children to look to the future with hope and faith.
Though we dont see many women dressed like Wonder Woman these
days, I think any woman who lovingly raises her child from infancy to
adulthood deserves to be called a superhero. However, please keep in mind
that no matter how angelic and heroic a mother may be, she is still human, not
a Superwoman who never gets tired, never gets sick, and never needs
anything. She feels tired, she needs to be shown and told that she is loved, and
she deserves this day, Mother's Day, off!
Let us salute all mothers and wish them ''Happy Mother's Day,'' for their
happy smiles are going to bring happy smiles to the faces of all. Present her
with the most valuable gift of love by telling her, "I love you, Mom! I am
fortunate to have you as my mom. Thank you for being my mom!
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Mandakini Hiremath
The hand that rocks the cradle

Mothers Day, May 11, 2008
I find Mothers Day a great opportunity to celebrate motherhood and to

remember our mothers whether biological, foster or adoptive. Its an
occasion to honor our mothers for their past and present accomplishments. We
recognize that mothers roles have changed significantly in recent years.
Todays mothers are CEOs, teachers, physicians, nurses, elected officials,
police officers, volunteers, homemakers and heads of household. Many serve
in poverty on the front line of lifes struggle. By nature, these mothers are
problem-solvers, care-givers and teachers, regardless of their job descriptions.
They use their talents in every sector of our society, helping their own and all
children, through their professions, to look forward with hope and faith in the
future.
Being born and raised in a culture that reveres mothers and believes that
the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world, I find myself
revitalized on Mothers Day by recalling real-life stories of great mothers who
put their needs and wants on hold and stand as role models to raise their
children with ambitious determination and the courage to turn tragedy into
triumph.
As I reflected on model mothers, numerous mothers flashed into my
minds eye. This Mothers Day, I choose to write about Mrs. Elinder Martin, a
retired 27-year teacher of English and reading at Hinds County Public Schools
in Edwards (population of about 1,300) Miss.
A little while ago, while flipping channels, I landed on Oprah. I saw
three bright young African-American men with exuberant smiles sitting by
Oprah as guests. Oprah was talking to Mrs. Elinder Martin, the mother of
these triplets, who was sitting in the front row with the audience. Oprah was
crediting the triplets entire success to their inspiring upbringing, to their
mothers determination, perseverance and courage. The subject seemed so
interesting and inspiring to me that I ended up watching the entire segment.
Kenya, Deshon and Warren, known as the Martin triplets, lost their
father, who unexpectedly died in 1989 of a massive heart attack, when they
were 10 years old. After the death of her husband, Mrs. Martin became the
primary caregiver for the triplets and their two elder brothers. Though she
struggled to make ends meet, she never let her sons take education for
granted. One of the triplets talked about how his mother made certain that they
were in school the day after their fathers death. He recounted, Amid the
weeping, amid the tears, the crying, the sorrow, she looked us in the eyes and
said, Youre going to school. Reflecting on how education and faith have
been cornerstones of their household, one of them said, She kept us at
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church; she kept us at the house and at the school. She was determined to
make sure that we succeeded.
Mrs. Martin, a language arts and reading teacher, made sure the triplets
education didnt stop when they got home from school. She made them
memorize state capitals and multiplication tables before they could play
outdoors. Once we had them memorized, we could go outside, ride our bikes,
and (as we rode,) we could sing our multiplication facts to each other, said
one of them. Mom was determined not to let us become a statistic. She
was determined to make sure we succeeded and that we got out of this
ghetto, added another of the triplets.
The triplets finished high school at the top of their class and then followed
their older brother, Ivan, to Jackson State University, where Kenya and
Warren graduated as valedictorians and Deshon finished with a 3.9 gradepoint average.
After college, the triplets attended the School of Law at the University of
Mississippi. Now, at 28 years old, they are practicing attorneys in their home
state.
Mrs. Martin stands content and accomplished. All her hard work has paid
off. All five of her sons are college graduates. When she was asked about her
parenting secret, she said, A lot of praying. ... As the boys said, I integrated
church, school and home; home first, school second, and then church. I
lived it, demonstrated it (and) modeled it.
I laid the groundwork for them to achieve and be where they are now.
All children can learn, but we have to find that niche in which they are
capable of learning and go from there, said the mother.
Now, the Martin triplets are setting an example for future generations.
When they graduated from law school, confident in their calling, they made an
ambitious pact among themselves. The triplets pledged to give back $1
million to their alma mater within seven years of their May 2004 law school
graduation. The money will be used to establish educational scholarships for
incoming students.
Oliver Wendell Holmes said, Youth fades, love droops, the leaves of
friendship fall; a mothers secret hope outlives them all. At times, mothers
are pictured as angels with wings or as goddesses; however, I would rather see
an everyday mother, without divine wings or supernatural power, who
undertakes all the challenges dished out to her by fate and the world and
stands unwaveringly to raise her children with confidence, patience and
everlasting, unconditional love.
Mothers such as Mrs. Martin prove what can be done. Although they do
not dress like Wonder Woman, they are the equal of the epic character. I think
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any woman who lovingly raises her child from infancy to adulthood deserves
to be called a superhero. And these mothers need to be respected, recognized,
loved and cared for not just on Mothers Day, but every day.
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FATHERS DAY
COLUMNS
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Mandakini Hiremath
In world of movers, shakers, his father remains the hero

Fathers Day, June 20, 2004
The idea of honoring father was promoted by the Rev. Dr. Robert Webb as
he conducted, what is believed as, the first Father's Day service at the Central
Church of Fairmount, W. Va., in 1908. But it was Mrs. Sonora Smart Dodd's
effort that eventually led to a national Father's Day observance.
Mrs. Dodd of Washington thought of observing a day in her father's honor
as she listened to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909. Her father, William Smart,
a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife died while giving birth to
their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise his newborn and his other five
children by himself on a rural farm in eastern Washington State.
Coming to adulthood, Mrs. Dodd realized her father's long and hard
parental sacrifices. Mr. Smart was born in June; his daughter chose to
celebrate the first Father's Day in his honor in Spokane, Wash., on the 19th of
June, 1910. President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national
Father's Day in 1924. Finally, in 1966, Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential
proclamation declaring the third Sunday in June of each year as "Father's
Day." This day is to reflect on all we have gained from our fathers' guidance
and to remember their sacrifices.
The importance of father and son/daughter relationship has been
emphasized for ages. The English proverb says: One father is more than a
hundred schoolmasters. And Sigmund Freud states: "I cannot think of any
need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection."
Father's Day is a great opportunity to celebrate fatherhood and to remember
our fathers. This day is to honor not only our fathers but also men who have
acted as a father figure in our lives -- whether stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers
or "Big Brothers."
While writing about Father's Day, I can't help but mention the book Big
Russ and Me written by Tim Russert. Mr. Russert calls his dad "Big Russ."
The author hopes, "This book will serve as a vehicle for fathers and sons -and mothers and daughters -- to think about what they meant to each other and
what they learned from each other."
I watched a partial segment of Tim Russert and "the real Tim Russet" (as
Mr. Russert honors his dad) being interviewed by Dateline NBC's host Stone
Phillips. Mr. Russert's eyes sparkled with pride every time he spoke about
how his dad, a World War II veteran, now 79 and retired, supported his family
of six by working for the Buffalo sanitation department and delivering the
Buffalo newspaper. He doesn't recall a single time his dad ever complained
about his lot in life and very proudly mentions that when he asked his dad
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why he didn't take a single day off out of his accumulated 200 days sick leave,
his dad's simple answer was, "I wasn't sick."
Mr. Russert confirms, "He was the most optimistic person in my life. He
always thought there was a brighter afternoon or a brighter tomorrow. It's
infectious." Mr. Russert admits, "I thought I would grow up in Buffalo, and if
I got real lucky, I might have a chance for a college, maybe a law school and
be a good lawyer or a good teacher here and that would be the extent of
fulfilling my dream."
Obviously, Tim Russert's childhood dreams never included the world he
occupies now. He credits his success in journalism to instilled values by his
dad's quiet eloquence of his example, "always do your job and always be
prepared," which, he admits, gave him a great sense of responsibilities, respect
and self-worth.
During President Kennedy's visit to Buffalo in 1962, Big Russert, by
carefully observing the motorcar route, made sure his 12-year-old son had a
glance at the president, and the young Russert, who waited standing on a vault
box at the corner of the street and pushed himself in with his hand stretched as
the motorcar was passing by, was thrilled by the president's handshake and
considered himself extremely lucky.
Today, the same young Russert interviews the presidents and rocks the
world of powerbrokers and policymakers. "Is this a great country or what?"
asks Tim Russert, managing editor and moderator of Meet the Press and
political analyst for NBC News and the "Today Program." In addition, he
anchors "The Tim Russert Show," a weekly interview program on CNBC and
is a contributing anchor for MSNBC and serves as a senior vice president and
Washington bureau chief of NBC News.
Mr. Russert makes sure everyone knows that his dad, Timothy, known as
"Big Russ," played -- and continues to play -- a key role in his son's life.
Mr. Russert became very emotional during the interview when he talked about
this childhood incident: Young Russert wanted a brand new baseball glove,
and finally he got one. It came in a plastic bag. As he anxiously opened it, he
noticed it wasn't the model he longed for, so he got mad. But then within a
moment he realized, "What a dork I was.
"My father, working two full-time jobs to make the ends meet, buys me a
new baseball glove and here I was ... My dad put his head down and walked
away and that was the worst punishment you could ever have." Mr. Russert
confessed how awful he felt for violating every lesson his father had taught
him and added, "It still haunts me."
How fortunate each dad would feel if all sons and daughters treasured such
sensitive childhood memories!
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Let us salute and wish all fathers "Happy Father's Day." Greet him with the
most valuable gift of gracious smile and gratify him by telling, "Thank you,
Dad! You did a good job in raising me!"
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The only father your children have

A recent television commercial has grabbed my attention.

A young girl walks in, asking what her father is doing as he spreads peanut
butter on a slice of bread.
"Making a little snack," he responds and hands her one slice as he has one.
Looking at him with a smile, she notices that he folds his slice before eating.
She queries why he does that, and he responds, "I don't know, maybe because
my father did so."
"That's silly," she says and turns around to fold hers just like her dad's. And
then looking at each other, they giggle. Little moments like these are called
bonding, and they have an effect that lasts for generations.
The importance of the father/child relationship has been emphasized for
ages. An English proverb said: "One father is more than a hundred
schoolmasters."
Sigmund Freud stated: "I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong
as the need for a father's protection."
About two years ago, I, along with my daughter and granddaughter, was
getting my watch battery changed in a Maryland shopping mall. My
granddaughter, Leela, then about 3, wanted her broken plastic watch repaired.
"Honey, the repair is going to cost a lot more than the price of your watch,"
her mother said, to which the child replied, "Never mind, my dad can fix
everything. My dad is the bestest and smart," and put her watch back into her
pocket.
I could see and sense the pride in her eyes when she said, "My dad."
A father's masculine character and discipline style is an essential ingredient
for shaping a child's future. A writer reflects on an event that took place about
60 years ago. During the summertime, while roaming the hills leisurely, he
and his brothers were hiking with their father over to Cousin Charlie's for the
day. On the way, they came upon an old abandoned house with most of the
window panes broken. The boys secretly agreed to break out a few more
panes.
Of course, their father's watchful eye noticed the conspiracy, and before
they had a chance to act, he made each of them write a letter of apology to the
owner and include all the change they had saved. After all, a father's job is to
protect and keep children out of trouble.
In his latest book, "Big Shoes," "Today" show's Al Roker and 45 other
well-known personalities share personal stories about how their fathers have
been there for them during both adversity and triumph. As Katie Couric
interviewed, Al Roker said, "A dad is always there to provide support and
encourage just when it's needed most, as well as to help teach us some of life's
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most invaluable lessons -- from how to fly a kite and pitch a tent, to how to
change a tire. Now it's time to say thank you!"
Fatherhood -- at least during a child's preadolescence -- is one of life's
sublime experiences. A combination of tenderness and strength is evoked by
the naive and trusting dependency of children. Opportunities for heroism,
from taking the training wheels off the child's bike, to letting them off
punishment a couple of days early, to putting them through college, are
around, whether the task requires magic or muscles, in eyes of a child: Dad is
the Man. He is the hero.
Experts are concerned that America is in the process of becoming
fatherless. The trend is accelerating and affecting an increasing number of
children. In earlier times, the major reason for single motherhood was the
death of the father. However, today, the greatest numbers of children are
growing up in father-absent homes because of unwed motherhood and
divorce. Children are the innocent victims here.
As Tim Russert advises, "We must teach our children that they are never,
never entitled, but they are always, always loved. No matter what your
political philosophy, you know there is a child you can coach, mentor, teach -some are sick, some are lonely, some are uneducated. Most have dignity.
Indeed, there's a simple truth: 'No exercise is better for the human heart than
reaching down to lift up another.'"
Despite what statistics show or experts opine, there is always a hope. There
are unsung heroes who are ready to work hard to bear this title, "father." Just
to mention one, I've read about a man who gave up his career, his aspiration
and a $600,000 annual salary just to be with his family and help his wife raise
the children.
In 1985, Tim Burke saw his boyhood dream come true the day he was
signed to pitch for the Montreal Expos. After four years in the minors, he was
finally given a chance to play in the big leagues. He quickly proved his worth
by setting an all-time record for the most relief appearances by a rookie
player.
Along the way, however, Tim and his wife, Christine, adopted four
children with very special needs. They had two daughters from South Korea, a
handicapped son from Guatemala and another son from Vietnam, all born
with serious illnesses or defects, and the demands were tremendous. With the
grueling schedule of major-league baseball, Tim was seldom around to help.
So in 1993, only three months after signing a $600,000 contract with the
Cincinnati Reds, he decided to retire.
When pressed by the reporters to explain this unbelievable decision, he
simply said, "Baseball is going to do just fine without me. But I'm the only
father my children have."
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What an inspiring example for today's fathers to earn their title rightfully
by accepting the responsibilities.
Father's Day is a great opportunity to celebrate fatherhood and to
remember our fathers as well as the men who acted as a father figure in our
lives like stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers or "Big Brothers."
How fortunate each dad would feel if all sons and daughters greeted their
father with the most valuable gift of gracious smile and gratified him by
telling, "Thank you, Dad! I'm so lucky to have you."
Let's salute all our fathers and wish them a "Happy Father's Day."
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Mandakini Hiremath
The enduring value of fathers

The importance of father and son/daughter relationship has been

emphasized for ages. The English proverb says: One father is more than a
hundred schoolmasters. And Sigmund Freud states: I cannot think of any
need in childhood as strong as the need for a fathers protection.
Fatherhood at least during a childs pre-adolescence is one of lifes
the nave and trusting dependency of children. Opportunities for heroism,
from taking the training wheels off the childs bike, to letting them off
punishment couple of days early, to putting them through college, are around,
whether the task requires magic or muscles, in eyes of a child: Dad is the
Man. He is the hero.
Experts are concerned that America is in the process of becoming
fatherless. The trend is accelerating and affecting an increasing number of
children. In earlier times, the major reason for single motherhood was death of
the father. However, today, many children are growing up in father absent
homes because of unwed motherhood and divorce. Children are the innocent
victims here.
Despite what statistics show or experts opine there is always hope. There
are many unsung heroes who have sacrificed their cherished dreams to bear
this title, father. Just to mention one, here is a story of fathers dear and
daring sacrifice and honor in return.
Bill Havens, having established himself as a world-class contender in the
singles and four-man canoeing events, represented one of Americas best
prospects for a medal in the 1924 Olympic Games.
Learning that he was qualified to compete, Havens was thrilled to realize
that his lifelong dreams were to come true.
However, several months before he was scheduled to leave for Paris, the
1924 Olympic site, he learned that he was going to be a father, and
coincidently, the baby was due in the middle of the two-week Olympic
competition. In 1920s, traveling from the United States to Europe required a
two-week voyage across the Atlantic on an ocean liner. With the trip, forth
and back and the two weeks of competition, Havens would have taken off at
least for six weeks. Havens was certain that if he went to Paris, he was going
miss the birth of his child.
Bill Havens faced the dilemma of missing one of the two wonderful
landmarks. The physician assured him that the baby would be born without
any complication and his wife encouraged him to participate in the Olympic
competition. She tried to convince him that he would win glory for himself
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Mandakini Hiremath
and his country, and when he returned home she and the child would be
waiting for him.
Bill Havens pondered over the possibility of winning a medal. He weighed
the moment of glory against his wife and the childs life. Finally, Havens
decided to stay with his wife to welcome their child.
On Aug. 1, 1924, Bill Havens son was born, four days after the Paris
Games concluded. At the time of his sons birth, if he had chosen to go,
Havens would have been aboard a ship in the middle of Atlantic Ocean. Over
the years, time and again, Havens imagined to himself what it would have felt
like to stand on the victory platform with the Star Spangled Banner playing
and the crowd cheering and wondered if anyone cared about his sacrifice.
However, in the summer of 1952, Bill Havens finally got the answer.
Frank Havens, his son, sent a telegram form Helsinki, Finland, the site of
Olympics for that year to his father that read: Dear Dad, Thanks for waiting
around for me to get born in 1924. Im coming home with the gold medal you
should have won.... Your loving son, Frank.
Frank Haven had competed in the 10,000-meter singles canoeing event,
one that his father himself might have won in 1924. As young Havens won the
gold, he first remembered his father who had sacrificed the same glory in
favor of his love for his family. Now, Bill havens realized how much his
family, relatives, friends, fans around him, and above all his son valued his
past sacrifice. He felt very happy and closely connected with them. His
happiness and contentment outweighed any amount of gold or fame he might
have won.
What an inspiring example for todays fathers to earn their title rightfully
by accepting the responsibilities. Certainly, all sacrifices made by fathers in
raising their children are not going to be reciprocated to this extent; however,
father will breathe in content to know that he did his best in fulfilling his
responsibilities.
Fathers Day is a great opportunity to celebrate fatherhood and to
remember our fathers. This day is to honor our fathers as well as the men who
act as a father figure in our lives like stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, or Big
Brothers.
How fortunate each dad would feel if all sons and daughters greet him with
the most valuable gift of gracious smile and gratify him by telling, Thank
you, Dad! I am so lucky to have you.
Lets salute all our fathers and wish them a Happy Fathers Day.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Learning to be a father
June 15th, 2008
The importance of the father-child relationship has been emphasized for ages.
An English proverb said: One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.
Sigmund Freud stated: I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as
the need for a fathers protection.
Fatherhood at least during a childs preadolescence is one of lifes
the naive and trusting dependency of children. Opportunities for heroism
punishment a couple of days early, to putting children through college
abound whether the task requires magic or muscles. In eyes of a child, Dad is
the Man; he is the hero.
Experts are concerned that America is in the process of becoming fatherless.
The trend is accelerating and affecting an increasing number of children. In
earlier times, the major reason for single motherhood was the death of the
father. However, today, the greatest numbers of children are growing up in
fatherless homes because of unwed mothers and divorce. Children are the
innocent victims.
As Tim Russert advised, We must teach our children that they are never,
never entitled, but they are always, always loved. No matter what your
political philosophy, you know there is a child you can coach, mentor, teach
some are sick, some are lonely, some are uneducated. Most have dignity.
Indeed, theres a simple truth: No exercise is better for the human heart than
reaching down to lift up another.
There is always hope, despite what statistics show or experts say. There are
unsung heroes who are ready to work hard to bear the title father. One such
man is veteran guard and NBA star Derek Fisher, who walked away from a
$21-million contract in order to get his infant daughter, Tatum, a few hundred
miles closer to medical care that might not be needed. Tatum is battling a rare
form of cancer in her left eye.
I remember watching an exclusive interview (in July 2007) in which Derek
Fisher told Today cohost Matt Lauer why he felt he made the only decision
he could when he asked the Utah Jazz and the league to release him from his
lucrative contract after his daughter was diagnosed with retinoblastoma that
spring.
During an interview, Fisher told Lauer the following: I think the decision
was easier because its about Tatum, and its about my family; I think that the
faith that I have in God, and the faith that I have in things always working out
as they should, I felt confident that wed be okay as a family.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Fishers wife, Candace, suspected something was wrong when she noticed
that the babys left eye seemed to glow when looked at from certain angles. In
April, 1-year-old Tatum was diagnosed with retinoblastoma, a cancer so rare
that only about 300 children in the United States are diagnosed with it each
year.
The first advice the couple got was to have Tatums eye removed. The Fishers
werent willing to do that. A second doctor suggested a procedure so new that
it was still in the clinical-trial stage of testing. Tatum was operated on at New
York Presbyterian Hospital in May. When the Jazz were in the semifinals of
the NBA playoffs, Fisher missed Game 1 against the Golden State Warriors to
be at Tatums bedside before and after the surgery. Fisher made it back barely
in time to suit up for Game 2, revealing why he had been absent only after he
had hit the game-winning basket for the Jazz, who ultimately lost the series.
After the surgery, Tatum had no vision in the eye, but Fisher has said that she
should regain some vision perhaps 15 percent. Fisher asked to be released
from his contract so he could be closer to one of the hospitals that could best
monitor Tatums progress.
Fishers decision to walk away from his contract might be a major one for
many people, but he felt it was his duty, as Tatums dad, to do whatever he
had to do to make sure she got the best possible medical care. He did not
consider it a gamble.
I dont feel that basketball is the only way to make a living, he said. I feel
like Im capable of doing so many things to help people around the country
and around the world. I felt confident I could make the decision not knowing
what was to come.
Everything is working out, so far. Tatums surgery was successful, and shes
completed three rounds of chemotherapy. Now, she will be monitored by
doctors in case the cancer returns.
You just work it out, Fisher said. The next three years are crucial for the
Fisher family as a whole; this is when the rare type of cancer Tatum
developed typically appears in children. Tatums twin brother, Drew, has a
greater chance of developing the disease because his sister had it, but so far,
he has tested negative for it, Fisher said. If theres any solace, its good to
learn that the familys two older children, Marshal and Chloe, are not in
danger.
Fisher, who left the Jazz on July 2, is now the newest member of the L.A.
Lakers, who will pay him $14 million for the next three years for his services.
When Lauer asked if perhaps the decision was easier for Fisher to make than
it would have been for a player just starting his career and trying to achieve
the financial security that Fisher has been able to provide for his family,
Fisher responded by saying, Probably so. I think that early in your career,
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Mandakini Hiremath
when youre trying to establish yourself, youre trying to set up that financial
security for you and your family, its more difficult. I think at this point in my
career, and in my life, really, not just as a basketball player but as a man, more
than anything learning how to be a husband and learning how to be a father
those are the sacrifices you make for your family, and you just work it out.
Let us wish Derek Fisher and all other fathers Happy Fathers Day!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Sgt. Charles King, a prudent father

The importance of the father-child relationship has been emphasized for

ages. An English proverb said: One father is more than a hundred
schoolmasters. And Sigmund Freud stated: I cannot think of any need in
childhood as strong as the need for a fathers protection.
Fatherhood at least during a childs preadolescence is one of lifes
the naive and trusting dependency of children. Opportunities for heroism
punishment a couple of days early, to putting children through college
abound whether the task requires magic or muscles. In eyes of a child, Dad is
the Man; he is the hero.
Thus, Fathers Day is an occasion to recognize and celebrate such a hero
fathers love and sacrifices. However, holidays do not always bring happiness
to all. The same goes with Fathers Day as well. Grieving over a lost father
may prove tough for many people in a family.
Fate has no mercy. It must run its own course, without heeding anyones
needs and wants. Here is a touching story I watched on news broadcast of a
hero father who prudently tries to stay alive in his childs life and share his
responsibility of raising his son in a humanly possible way.
Sitting on his mother's lap, 2-year-old Jordan King listens to his mother
read. "This is the book Daddy wrote for you," she explains, though little
Jordan is still too young to understand what his father's book is all about.
One month shy of completing his tour of duty, Sgt. Charles King was
killed in action in Iraq. Reflecting on the moment she found out, Jordan's
mother Dana Canedy says, "I just collapsed on the floor. Describing her
devastation, she mentioned how healing came in a surprise package from the
battlefield in the form of the poignant journal to his son. The 200 pages long
journal brought, says Dana, the comforting feeling that she would not be
raising their son alone.
The journal is a compilation of thoughts, remembrances and wisdom. The
Army sergeant started writing this for his family, something to hold on to in
the absence of his guiding hand, just in case he didn't make it back from the
war.
"I will do my best to make you and your mother proud of me," writes The
Army sergeant. The memoir contains everything from tips on exercising,
saving money to race relations and above all, the fathers desire to instill in his
son a profound respect for women. "Remember who taught you to speak, to
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walk and to be a gentleman. These are your first teachers, my little prince.
Embrace them and always treat them like a queen," writes Charles King.
The Sergeants wife is convinced that her intuitive husband wrote to his
son, for he wanted to share, even in his death, his part of responsibility in
raising his son. This book would make Jordan feel his father was right there
walking with him through the phases of his life," says Jordans mother.
Therefore, Dana Canedy, a New York Times Senior Editor, turned a hero's
writings into a book entitled: A Journal for Jordan.
The journal ends, "I will always be proud of you my son...Live life well.
Follow your heart and look for the strength of a woman, Love Dad."
Happy Fathers Day to all fathers.
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SUMMER VACATION
AND
BACK TO SCHOOL
COLUMNS
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Mandakini Hiremath
Easing into summer vacation

June 15th, 2005
After months of waiting, finally kids are out of school for summer
vacation. Summer is a time for flexibility, to relax, kick back and enjoy a
retreat from the working world. The most enticing element of summer
vacation is the freedom and luxury to do absolutely nothingat least, until
youve done it for a while.
Maybe parents too are looking forward to much-needed break from the long
drive to and from each day, packing lunches, getting stains out of school
uniforms. It would be easy for parents to flip on the TV to sedate noisy kids,
but it is evidenced that television is doing children irreparable harm by
making them addictive. Studies by Dr. T. Berry Brazelton suggest that babies
and small children exposed to a barrage of visual and auditory stimuli literally
shut down from sensory overload. And when TV is turned off, kids seem to
crash, becoming cranky, over-stimulated, and aggressive.
TV influences teens form attitudes about guns, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and
morality.
Some experts believe that the content of what kids watch is beside the
point. American children spend daily three to four hours watching television,
abandoning social interaction and are bombarded by hours of advertising that
help them shape desires, influence preferences, change buying habits, create
brand loyalty. These ads have an impact on kids health. Pediatricians and
nutritionists agree that rising obesity among young people is closely linked to
an increasing consumption of candy, soft drinks, and fatty snack foods, added
to the fast choice of leisurely activities like watching TV, playing videogames,
or being occupied hours after hours in a computer chat-room. Therefore,
experts advice is to unplug your family from the television, sedentary games
and mindless activities.
When the TV is unplugged, very soon parents are going to hear, Mom,
Im bored! Dad, theres nothing to do! Its amazing how quickly the thrill
of doing nothing to do can wear off, and you realize how tricky the transition
from academic routine and structure to the lazy days of summer can be.
Though parents may be enjoying a break from the school days certain
monotonous chores, on the other turf, they will never be left alone to be
carefree, for their responsibility is to help keep these children out of trouble
and assure them relaxed but productive summer. At times, this responsibility
may be overwhelming, especially for a single parent.
Summer months cry out for flexibility, but its wise not to relinquish basic
family rules and routines. Its tempting to let kids stay up late in summer, but
a little sleep deprivation can lead to irritability at any time of year, so its
better to maintain basic bedtime habits. And encourage the children to stick to
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their scheduled chores and other established behaviors. The way to manage
summers lack of structure is to strike the balance between free time and
planned time and its going to require parents time, attention, and patience.
Use community resources to keep children engaged. Take advantage of the
summer recreational and educational opportunities that most towns offer. Find
youth sports league or sign up for day camp. Many local rec-centers and
educational institutions offer swimming, gymnastics, computer classes and
summer programs to enhance and enrich academic and athletic skills. Help
children complete their summer reading list by taking them to library and if
possible reading and discussing with them.
Help your teens find part-time job by defining work goals for your child,
such as earning money or learning a new skill; though some teenagers are
capable of finding a job for themselves, a few may need help. A part-time
would be rewarding way for an adolescent to spend some of his summer; it
would help him build a sense of maturity, independence, and personal
competence.
Of course, summer still should be a time to relax, so try not to over
schedule. One planned event a weekend is great. Parents should leave room
for down time every day, when a child can do, or do nothing, whatever he
wants. These relaxed times provide just the change of pace you and your
child/children need to de-stress after nine months of school. And make time at
the end of the day for the family to relax, read, talk and play. Scheduling kids
and parents playtimes during this period will ensure fun as well as family
bonding.
May our summer vacation be safe, relaxing and productive.
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Summer vacationa boredom

After enjoying weeks of summer break with a do nothing attitude, are we

there yet? Have we reached the stage saying its boring? Has the pleasure of
doing nothing worn thin? Summer vacation is almost three months long; at
times, it may feel like forever, and other times, its over way too soon.
Nowadays, summers are structured for kids. Theres Little League and
Basketball Camp and Day Camp, or, if resources available, kids go away to
camp. And then therere summer schools to improve, enrich and advance.
However, summer is the time when the rigor of academic structure needs to
ease. Our kids need to use this period to breathe deep, mentally and
physically, to think creatively. After all, one can reflect and let imagination
flow only in crazy lazy moments. Though The idle Man is the Devils
Hireling, as we learn from Benjamin Franklins Poor Richards Almanac,
we also know, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. The parents
responsibility is to make sure that Jack plays, but stays out of trouble.
Kids back in the 40s lived unstructured summers. Younger kids played
hopscotch, jump ropes, marbles, climbed trees in their backyard and rested for
hours lying in a hammock in the shade, breathing fresh air and feeling the hot
summer breeze. Kids a little older played war (World War was going on, just
like now), dug foxholes, threw pebbles at each other, with no or minimal
injuries, made parachutes from hankies, strings and a small stone to fling them
up in the air, then watched them flutter down for hours until they grew bored.
It was all just unstructured fun that they invented themselves that developed
their creativity. Dennis Lombard remembers the day they danced all the way
home from the streetcar on 63rd Street in Chicago singing, Schools out!
Schools out! Teachers let the monkeys out! And all those bright happy days
yawned before us with, Oh my goodness, no structured activities! He
reminds us, Remarkably, we were the generation that invented jet airplanes,
television and computers and put a man on the moon. He tells about the boat
they built, scraping up materials from all over the neighborhood and nailing
them all together, then toting the boat off to a drainage ditch along the railroad
tracks. After that they played softball on the street corner, each curb serving as
a base and yelled as cars rolled by, One, two, three, four, whaddya think the
alleys for? Tin cans like yours! Lombard concludes, We survived, without
structured activities, though we gave our moms a few gray hairs in the
process.
On reflection, in our overstressed fast-moving society, being bored may
have its advantages. At times, we should worry about kids who are so overprogrammed that theyre never given the opportunity to simply do nothing, to
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daydream or to use their imagination. However, its much harder for children
to entertain themselves today than in previous generations. The obvious
culprit is over exposure to media. Kids who spend too much time in front of
TV will have difficulty entertaining themselves or thinking creatively. Dont
worry. As soon as the TV is turned off, theyll find a way to get un-bored.
If its boring, its boring because you are a bore. A bore causes boredom;
in other words, to bore is to make someone feel tired and uninterested by
being a dull, tedious and uninteresting person who lacks power of imagination
and dream. So next time, be careful before to saying its boring. Dont be
bored, dont be a bore, dont be an uninteresting, inactive, dull person. Be
creative and keep charm in your personality.
Summer is the perfect time to snooze and daydream about the future. As
Victor Hugo writes, There is nothing like a dream to create a future. May
our hot, hazy, humid days of summer encourage us to doze and daydream,
leading us to the brighter days to come.
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The challenge of summer vacation

June 22, 2006
After months of waiting, finally kids are out of school for summer
vacation. Summer is time for flexibility, to relax, to kick back, to enjoy a
retreat from a working world. The most enticing element of summer vacation
is the freedom and luxury of do absolutely nothing at least until youve
done it for a while.
Summer is the time when the rigor of academic structure needs to ease.
Our kids need to use this period to breath deep, mentally and physically, to
think creatively. After all, one can reflect and let imagination flow only in
crazy, lazy moments. Though The Idle Man is the Devils Hireling, as we
learn from Benjamin Franklins Poor Richards Almanac, we also know,
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. The parents responsibility is
to make sure that Jack plays but stays out of trouble.
The way to manage summers lack of structure is to strike a balance
between free time and planned time, and its going to require parents time,
attention and patience. Use community resources to keep children engaged.
Take advantage of the summer recreational and educational opportunities.
Help children complete their summer reading list by taking them to the library
and asking them to write book reports. Help them improve their writing skills
and explore imagination by assigning them variety of topics to write. They
may surprise you by their thinking ability, skills and imaginations. You may
feel much rewarded. For example, below is a script that was e-mailed to me
on March 3, 2000. While cleaning my desktop, I found it. It was written by an
8-year-old, a third-grader, Danny Dutton, of Chula Vista, California, The
assignment was Explain God.
One of Gods main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the
ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth.
He doesnt make grownups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and
easier to make. That way He doesnt have to take up his valuable time to teach
them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.
Gods second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of
this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times
beside bedtime. God doesnt have time to listen to the radio or TV because of
this. Because He hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in his
ears, unless he has thought of a way to turn it off.
God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps
him pretty busy. So you shouldnt go wasting his time by going over your
mom and dads head asking for something they said you couldnt have.
Atheists are people who dont believe in God. I dont think there are any in
Chula Vista. At least there arent any who come to our church.
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Jesus is Gods son. He used to do all the hard work like walking on water
and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didnt want to
learn about God. They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they
crucified Him. But He was good and kind, like His Father and He told his
Father that they didnt know what they were doing and to forgive them and
God said o.k.
His Dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his work
on earth so He told Him He didnt have to go out on the road anymore. He
could stay in heaven. So He did. And now He helps His Dad out by listening
to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and
which ones He can take care of Himself without having to bother God. Like a
secretary, only more important.
You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because
they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time.
You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy,
and if theres anybody you want to make happy, its God. Dont skip church
to do something you think will be more fun, like going to the beach. This is
wrong.
And besides, the sun doesnt come out at the beach until noon anyway.
If you dont believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely,
because your parents cant go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God
can. Its good to know He is around you when you are scared in the dark or
when you cant swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids.
But you shouldnt just always think of what God can do for you. I figure
God put me here and He can take me back anytime He pleases. And that is
why I believe in God.
I wonder if any of us could do this well. Safe and relaxed summer vacation
to all of us.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Encourage your child to write

After enjoying weeks of summer break with a do-nothing attitude, are

we there yet? Have we reached the stage saying its boring? Has the pleasure
of doing nothing worn thin? Summer vacation is almost three months long; at
times, it may feel like forever, and other times, its over way too soon.
Summer is the time when the rigor of academic structure needs to ease. Our
kids need to use this period to breathe deep, mentally and physically, to think
creatively. After all, one can reflect and let imagination flow only in crazy
lazy moments.
On reflection, in our overstressed fast-moving society, being bored may
have its advantages. At times, we should worry about kids who are so overprogrammed that theyre never given the opportunity to simply do nothing, to
daydream or to use their imagination. However, its much harder for children
to entertain themselves today than in previous generations. The obvious
culprit is overexposure to media. Kids who spend too much time in front of
TV will have difficulty entertaining themselves or thinking creatively. Dont
worry. As soon as the TV is turned off, theyll find a way to get un-bored.
The most joyous warm-weather family activities can be opportunities for
learning and skill buildings. Its possible time to make a meaningful
difference in your childrens life without overwhelming them, if you find right
tool to entertain, educate and encourage them. The way to manage summers
lack of structure is to strike a balance between free time and planned time, and
its going to require parents time, attention and patience. Use community
resources to keep children engaged. Take advantage of the summer
recreational and educational opportunities.
Help children complete their summer reading list by taking them to the
library and asking them to write book reports. Help them improve their
writing skills and explore imagination by assigning them variety of topics to
write. They may surprise you by their thinking ability, skills and imaginations.
You may feel much rewarded.
I asked my 8-year-old granddaughter, Leela, who is ready to enter her third
grade, about her summer vacation scholastic activities. She said, I attend
daytime camp, have a scheduled playtime and TV time, and then I have books
to read. I love to read, Grandma. When I asked, How about writing? she
responded, I dont like to write; writing is hard. Persisting that she could
start small and keep it simple, I asked her to just keep a notebook and jot
down, after she reads each book, the title of the book, author, the main
characters, a couple of sentences about what the book was about, and then
what she liked and disliked about the book or particular characters. Since she
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didnt agree very enthusiastically, I changed the subject matter. However in

the next conversation, when I retraced the matter, she told me that her mother
has given her a diary and required each day journal entry.
If possible parent should provide a sample and provide practice session to
help reinforce that writing requires regular effort and it gets better with
practice. Parents should talk with their children about how even good writers
produce a lot of junk before they learn to craft something worth publishing
and praising the children for every little piece they write and then encouraging
them with positively critiquing their writing, keeping their age and standard in
mind.
My experience tells me that most children dont like to write, for writing is
a hard work. However, if we encourage them to the task at an early age and
start small, once they adapt to it and their creativity start flourishing, their
attitude towards writing changes. Their creative power keeps them
productively engaged. As they realize that in order to keep writing, theyll
have to keep reading as well. And theyre voluntarily away from TV and
cyber hazards and thus away from the world of trouble and negative influence.
Its a win/win summer strategy for both children and parents. And parents
hair will have to wait for natures process to turning it gray.
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Surviving summer
After months of waiting, kids are out of school for summer vacation. Its
that time of year again, the time that children love and parents dread. Kids are
out of school for summer vacation. Teachers too may go on vacations;
however, parents can never escape from their responsibilities and duties.
As we know, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Summer is a time
for flexibility, to relax, kick back and enjoy a retreat from the working world.
Its time for Jack to play. And the parents responsibility is to make sure that
Jack plays, but stays out of trouble.
However, nowadays, keeping our children safe and trouble-free has not
been as easy as it used to be. Times have changed, and situations have gotten
complicated. Back then in our summer vacations, we siblings visited my
maternal grandparents and traveled occasionally to fun tourist destinations. I,
along with my friends, climbed trees picked mangos, tamarind and several
different kinds of fruits, played games, sang made up songs and laughed, after
dinner, on a dimly lighted porch told stories, at times ghost stories to a
gathered group, until they got scared and ran to their houses. Thus, we
survived summer without structured activities, though we gave our moms a
few gray hairs in the process. As I grew a little older, if I didnt want to play
outside and stayed in my room, my parents had no reason to worry about my
safety. Staying in my room, I could read, knit, embroider, create artifacts, or
just take a nap.
Nowadays, if a parent says, I dont need to worry about my daughters
safety since she is at home always in her room safe, another savvy parent
may sarcastically respond, Yea right! and call the parent, naive.
Weve watched TV news and read newspapers to realize how parents
ignorance about the changes that are occurring rapidly in todays world has
put them in peril. For parents, its always not my child. However, parents
need to make sure their children are aware of the hazards, and theyre
behaving well, saving their parents from heartache by staying out of trouble.
Learning what their children are doing in their room is important, especially if
they lock themselves in their room thats equipped with computer, TV,
telephone. Parents must keep an eye on what they are surfing for on the
Internet, how violent are the video games they are playing, what they are
watching on the TV and what and with whom they are talking on the
telephone.
Parents should use this no-agenda, no-demands, no-commitment time to
talk to their children about the dangers that lurk online, how some children are
finding recreational drugs in medicine cabinet and getting intoxicated, and
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how stupidly some children are playing deadly game of choking for fun and
dying. How watching hour after hour mindless TV shows is creating mentally
incapacitated and physically unfit generation. News like Jamie Lynn Spears,
Britney Spears younger sister, getting pregnant at 16 may sound glamorous
with the resources they have and the care they could afford. Fifteen-year-old
Miley Cyrus almost nude photo shoot for Vanity Fair magazine might be
okay only for them and the ways they deal with their matters to fit their
strategies; with heightened controversial publicity, they prone to make more
money. Our children need to know that stupidly emulating these celebrities
will bring them nothing but embarrassment and lifetime misery. And then
after these kinds of talks, parents should stop talking and start just listening to
their children and get acquainted with their childrens thoughts.
Today, there are just too many opportunities for kids to go wrong. They
need boundaries and limits and the motivation to do right. They need that
desire to live responsibly that comes from a loving family that cares and a
loving relationship built through the years with parents who have invested
themselves in their kids.
Author Josh McDowell says, Rules without relationships lead to
rebellion. Parents need assertive efforts starting very early. Having fun with
the family, laughing and talking are a part of the process of bonding together.
Parents need to make concentrated efforts to build relationships with their
children as a family. That is the best way to disarm the teenage time-bomb
before the fuse is lift. And this is the perfect time to create that bond.
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The time to resume our duties

Now it is the time of year for academic institutions to come forth in full
force with their charted plans to start the new academic year. As the summer
vacation ends, so does the time of laziness. Those hazy, hot, humid days of
summer made us feel like "just do nothing" or "Oh! Well! It's summer and I
deserve this time for me." Summer is the perfect time to snooze and dream
about the future. As Victor Hugo said, "There is nothing like a dream to create
a future." Now the time of dreaming is over. It's time to be alert to plan,
prepare, commit perseverance and work hard in efforts to bringing those
dreams to fruition.
Some of you may be entering high school or college. Especially, going to
college as a freshman may mark a first transition from a familiar environment
to a place where academic excellence is the main priority. You have to learn
to adjust to a new environment, get acquainted with new people and
experience new ideas. According to a Chinese proverb, "All things at first
appear difficult." It is natural to feel challenges and stress when changing
from high school/home/workplace to a university setting.
Any transition makes one feel, at times, anxious, confused, out of place or
even scared. That's normal and expected. Let your fear motivate you, not
inhibit you. Talk out your feelings. You may realize that your peers are filled
with same kinds of mixed feelings. When you face difficult situations and
neither you nor your peers know where to go and what to do, contact your
campus authorities for guidance. You will be surprised to see how willingly
they are ready and waiting to guide, advise, and help you.
Life is all about attitude, which comes from your inner strength. Your inner
strength and self-determination will be major factors in your ability to accept
challenges and make commitments for success. For instance, it's your call to
decide if you are at a university campus to enjoy your independence and have
fun or to sacrifice your pleasure and at times comforts to excel at academic
challenges and graduate with confidence in four years with the degree that
will position you well in the job market. Life is shaped by the things we do.
The only constructive material is positive action.
Ernest Hemingway wrote, "Courage is grace under pressure." Be
courageous and make up your mind, with all the support behind you that you
are going to focus positively on your goals and complete the steps necessary
to achieve them. Why are you in school? What are your goals? How
determined are you to accomplish them? Your answers to these questions will
motivate you to design, plan and lay out your work ethics, which will lead you
like a shining star to your desired destination. If you have the willpower, you
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can sustain your efforts until you have accomplished what it is that you have
set out to do.
Once you have determined your goals and armed with willpower to
accomplish them, take a quiet time to reflect. Once you chart a path, think of
your plans and prepare a schedule to succeed.
Remember that in the final analysis your determination, studiousness and
planning will determine how successful a student you will ultimately be. If
you don't work hard, or study, or plan, you may graduate, but you will never
demonstrate the full potential of your academic capability. There are plenty of
students with the raw ability to be exceptional students, but it is only the
dedicated student who works hard, is diligent about his/her work, who keeps
up with his/her course work and who is reliable and consistent in the pursuit
of excellence will ultimately achieve long-term academic success.
Therefore, first, set your goals. If you don't know where you want to go,
nobody will know where and how to lead you when you get confused and feel
lost. Second, chart the anticipated problems and challenges and then work
diligently to face the challenges to overcome. Love what you do. And, finally,
have faith in the Lord Almighty; direct all your challenges and efforts towards
him to be stress free.
Therefore, I wish you the best of luck on your new academic year's dreams
hopes, expectations, and on your efforts in bringing them to fruition.
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Back to campus
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
* Students have returned to campus. Classes have resumed. A new semester is under
way. A five-part series of columns addresses issues and challenges facing college and
university students.
Your budget is limited; you need to purchase the textbook for the course
you have registered for, but you want a beautiful dress that you have seen
hanging in the stores window. Now, however hard its to avoid temptation,
you are going to buy the textbook.
Human behavior is a function of a persons cognitive, emotional and social
capabilities, which grow or change over the course of an entire life span
from infancy and childhood into adolescence and adulthood. Behavior is a
subject of human actions. Ethics, also called moral philosophy, is the
discipline concerned with what is morally good and bad, right and wrong.
Being away from home, you may have to make quick decisions on your own,
and situations will occur that are going to tax your capacity for critical
thinking and for applying that thinking honestly to your behavior.
For most students, time and money are both equally important and limited;
your success depends upon utilizing both wisely and constructively. As
Secretary of State Colin Powell says, There are no secrets to success. It is a
result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.
The subject of ethics essentially comprises issues fundamental to practical
decision-making. You have amazing power within you that has not yet been
tapped. To keep your willpower mighty, think of great lives, the heroes and
thoughts that will help you to grow, Growth is evidence of life.
When you study lives of great people, you will realize that they did not
achieve their successes overnight, nor were the titles hero and heroine
randomly placed on a silver platter and bestowed upon them to honor them.
Their perseverance and endurance led them to their desired destination, but
the journey was neither short nor painless. Do not ever forget: there is no gain
without pain.
At times, you will have to weigh your options and prepare to give up
something in order to accomplish better things. For instance, it is your choice
if you watch your favorite television show or finish your class assignment
ahead of time so that you will have enough time to edit and proof read your
work. Working on your assignment without being pressured by a shortage of
time lets you work without panic, and allows you to use your creative ability.
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This habit of finishing your assignments ahead of time will make you realize
that your assignments get better every time you revise them.
As you confirm your readiness for the new academic year, remember that
there is nothing free in this life. If you make wrong decisions, choose wrong
company, and give in to fleeting temptations, you will have to pay for it. Your
imprudent behavior can cost you your grade point-average, scholarships, --even life itself. Be careful; stay vigilant; and make good decisions. Choose
your friends wisely. Do not go after losers.
Choosing your friends wisely determines how successful you are going to
be academically. If your friends are healthy, happy, hardworking and
conscientious, you probably will be, as well. If your peers have poor study
habits, call you nerd, dont support them; dont heed them. A good and
studious school/college friend can be a source of strength, knowledge, and
inspiration.
Some of your peers might start looking at you as a role model. Knowing
about your success will make your parents very happy, proud and more
supportive of your hard efforts. This whole situation will motivate you to
work harder and accept new challenges that you may encounter with
confidence on the way to excellence.
Always remember that success is not a destination. It is a process. Many
times it is heard, My friend is a genius; he/she makes all As. I am not that
smart. This attitude is a lame excuse for not committing to work hard and not
accepting academic challenges. You need to remember, as Thomas Edison
said, Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
Therefore, I wish you the best of luck on your new academic years
dreams hopes, expectations, and on your efforts in bringing them to fruition.
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Back to college: Good health at the top of the agenda

university students. This is the second installment.
Once you have set your goals and are armed with mighty will power, the
very first item on the top of your agenda is going to be your health. To be
successful, you are going to need a sound mind. A sound mind resides only in
a healthy body.
components of good health. Cafeteria food might make you miss homecooked meals, but remember, your body needs food to function well, so adjust
your tastes and choices of food. Choose to eat healthy foods from the
cafeteria menu. Do not go on phony diets. Not eating is as bad as overeating.
Moderation is the key word where your diet is concerned.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Often, the excuse is heard
from students that they didnt want to be late to class, so they didnt have their
breakfast. Having to choose between having a breakfast or going to class on
time is not good; both are necessary. Set your alarm to wake you up at a time
that allows you to do both. If you regularly skip breakfast, you will be sitting
in class hungry and wont be concentrating on your class activities.
If you skip your dinner, you wont be able to complete all your homework
assignments and prepare for your next day of classes. In addition, you wont
be able to sleep soundly at night. Without a good nights sleep, the next
morning you may wake up fatigued and not able to function to the best of
your ability. If you are planning to lose weight by skipping dinner, think
again. Skipping dinner will just make you crave midnight snacks--unhealthful
junk food like cookies, chips, and soda pop. Instead of eating a complete,
nutritious meal, you may opt to order a pizza or Chinese takeout. Regulating
good eating habits will help you finish your class assignments without
discomfort and go to bed on time so that you will be able to get up the next
morning well rested and ready to face new challenges the day might bring.
The final component of your health is regular exercise. If you are an
athlete or member of ROTC, you dont need any special efforts. If you are
enrolled in a physical education class or taking tennis lessons, those activities
can be considered as regular workouts, too. Participate in these activities with
interest, not just because you have to. Your active participation in these
activities will produce healthy results. Walk briskly from building to building
to your classes. Climb up the staircase instead of taking elevators. These daily
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activities, if conducted with a positive attitude, are good regular exercise to

keep you healthy. If you are familiar with the Arabian proverb He who has
health, has hope and he who has hope, has everything, you will know how
important it is for you to stay healthy.
Once you are armed with mighty willpower and good health, try to
eliminate problematic situations that might deter you from your goals.
Remember that your first and foremost priority is your academic success. That
is the reason why you are in school and may have sacrificed some of the
comforts. To stay academically adept, you must make a habit of attending
every class you have signed up for and of completing all the homework
assignments and class preparation regularly and punctually. Remember, your
habits form your character. Therefore, it is very important that you adopt good
habits.
The best of luck on your new academic year endeavors.
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Stupid behavior has terrible consequences

university students. This is the third installment.
Abstinence is the key (Just say No). The exhilarating freedom that
accompanies being away from home for the first time affords many freshmen
opportunities to either experiment or indulge in activities away from the
watchful eyes of their parents. There are usually three major pitfalls that many
young people have to face when going to school, aside from the rigors of
academic study and achieving the difficult balance of academics and social
activity: sexual activity is one. Drug and alcohol use are the others.
Sex especially when its not handled responsibly can have serious,
unintended, unplanned consequences that can hamper your academic
ambitions, impact your health, shake your financial future, and threaten your
life in a long painful torture. One of the popular sayings of the late 60s was,
If it feels good, do it, meaning, dont think; just follow your heart. This
damnable advice has ruined many gullible people because behavior has
consequences, and stupid behavior has terrible consequences.
It isnt a new worry. Of course, we have heard for years about the dangers
of HIV, which causes the terrible disease known as AIDS. But now there are
more than 20 other organisms that are stalking the human family at epidemic
proportions; the study shows that one in five Americans suffers from sexually
transmitted diseases. Tragically, 63% of these infections occur in persons
under age 25. Todays teenagers are particularly at risk and have inadequate
understanding of that threat. They need to be educated of these grim facts.
First, there is an array of diseases caused by bacteria, such as syphilis,
gonorrhea, chlamydia, and Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV). Though
some of these diseases can be treated successfully, resistances to antibiotics
and scaring that can cause infertility are the concerns. Of course, there is no
cure for HIV/AIDS.
One of the sexually transferred viruses, genital herpes, is skyrocketing now
in the United States. Another human papilloma virus or HPV infects over 5
million people in a year in the United States. This virus causes most of the
surgical cancer in women, as well as genital warts and other problems that can
result lifetime suffering to women.
Genital herpes that causes painful blisters and soars is incurable and may
continue to flare up for decades or even for a lifetime. According to the
prestigious New England Journal of Medicine, herpes virus infects one in five
Americans and almost one in every two African Americans and also makes
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susceptible to other STDs, such as HIV. Perhaps what is most troubling is

what herpes does to newborns that are infected during delivery. It can cause
death, mental retardedness, blindness and deafness. Some may indicate that
condoms are solution to the threat of herpes and other STDs. Though
consistent and correct use of condoms can reduce the risk, gynecologists
caution that they are not failsafe. In addition, condoms offer no protection
against the human papilloma virus and herpes. They both are spread from the
area that is not covered by the condom.
Secondly, drug use and alcohol use are even more dangerous to your wellbeing; their use, even their possession, is clear violation of campus policy for
all matriculating students, as noted in your academic institutions Student
Handbook. Use of alcohol or illegal drugs can evoke swift disciplinary action
resulting in your summary suspension and/or expulsion when you are caught.
Do not do drugs. Do not drink alcohol, especially if you are underage.
Alcohol consumption by anyone on campus grounds is forbidden.
If you follow blindly the dictates of emotions instead of controlling it with
your will and intellect, you are casting yourself a drift in the path of lifes
storm. In an age, where date rape routinely goes unreported, and where
pregnancies among 14 and 15 year olds are on the rise, caution and care
should always be exercised. You can never tell what a person may or may not
have or do and you certainly cannot tell by just looking at him or her. Looks
deceive as well as achieve.
You must be prepared to overrule your infernal feelings and govern your
behavior with reason. The only foolproof solution to the threat of STDs is
ABSTINENCE. Just say No.
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Keys open door to college success

Friday, August 27, 2004
university students. This is the fourth installment.
The key to success is to get adjusted quickly to the new independence and
to become a successful student by focusing on each of your classes. Here are a
few pointers to help you make this journey successful.
Make the most of college classes. The first few weeks of class may make
you realize just how different college is from high school. No parent or
teacher is here to remind you to get up and go to class, to do homework, not to
waste valuable study time, to get plenty of sleep, to start working on
assignments ahead of time, and to get assignment in on time.
Attend class regularly and punctually. There are class attendance
policies, but most professors are not going to pester you about your
attendance. You will have to accept your responsibilities. When you miss
class, you may miss an important lecture, a pop quiz, information about an
upcoming test, or an assignment for the next class meeting. Secondly,
focusing on your class activities is equally important. If you miss one class to
study for another, or sit in one class completing a homework assignment for
another class, you will not be popular with the teachers of either class. If you
missed a class because you were seriously ill or had to go home because of an
emergency, make an appointment with your professors during office hours
when you return in order to find out what you missed and what you need to
make up. Remember, an excused absence does not excuse you from the work
you missed. Completing assignments as soon as possible is your
responsibility.
Know what your professors expect. Each semester you may take 12.518
hours, i.e., four or five classes, plus Assembly, taught by different instructors.
Instructor will have different requirements for successfully completing their
courses and will inform you what these are at the beginning of the semester
through course syllabi. Make sure that you understand each instructors
course requirements. Keep the syllabi handy and refer to them from time to
time to freshen your memory when you feel confused. Understand the
requirements for all your courses and complete them.
Keeping notes is important. Unlike high school, where note-taking in
class was not a high priority, your college classes will demand daily, careful
and legible note-taking. What your teachers sayin-class lectures, test
information, and assignmentsneeds to be carefully recorded. In addition, it
is important that you arrive in class with the same notebook for every meeting.
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Stay up to date with your coursework. Staying current is not easy unless
you are committed to it. College classes may start out slow but gradually get
busier. Keeping up with your coursework in each class will help you take
advantage of new opportunities for learning. If you allow yourself to fall
behind in daily readings and class preparations, you may find it impossible to
catch up.
Not using your time wisely may lead to poor study habits and poor
grades. Wishful thinking at the end of the term is no good. Life is built of the
things we do; the only construction materials are positive actions.
Stay motivated. Being unmotivated is the root cause of not doing
assignments and not keeping current with coursework. Once you define your
goals and start checking that assignments for class are completed before you
end the day, you should excel in class. This everyday checking will help
reinforce good study habits. This will help you to make good grades that will
motivate you to work even harder for even better results.
Set your priorities. Many nonacademic activities, such as dating,
watching movies and television, partying, participating in campus
organizations, and surfing the Internet, are unquestionably much more fun
than schoolwork, but these activities will absorb your study time if you are not
careful. Discipline yourself not to let these activities intrude upon your study
time. If youre doing well and have earned a break, then by all means reward
yourself, but you must first focus on learning.
Set your goals. Set your short-term goals for what you want to accomplish
in each of your classes in each semester. What grade do you want to earn in
each class? Set long-term goals for each academic year and your total college
experience. Reinforce those goals by talking to your friends and family. They
will help motivate, encourage and support your efforts.
Confront and eliminate personal problems. If romantic problems,
roommate difficulties, or ill health bug you, you probably wont be motivated
to work efficiently to achieve academic success. Take such situations in hand
with the proper response. If there are any other problems or concerns, seek
help by talking to your school nurse, counselor, instructors, or/and academic
advisor as soon as possible. Study the Student Handbook thoroughly and abide
by rules and regulations delineated there in order to avoid conflicts
beforehand. Learn about all the resources that are available on campus, such
as tutoring, seminars, and workshops that might aid you in moving towards
your goals.
Seek out helpful people. Once you prove yourself to be a good and sincere
student, you will find that there are many people on campus who will assist
you whenever you need it. If you encounter any problems in courses, fellow
students may help you to understand them. There are also academic
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counselors, peer tutors, and Student Support Services staff members to help
you succeed academically. All you need is your willpower to succeed and
commitment to work hard. Remember that in the final analysis your
determination, studiousness, and planning will determine just how successful
a student you will ultimately be.
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Building healthy self-esteem

Saturday, August 28th, 2004
university students. This is the final installment.
Each new academic year is a transitional period. You may feel homesick,
miss your room at home, the intimacy you had with your high school buddies
and the familiar environment. You may feel neither popular, nor attractive,
nor special in any way. You may long for appreciation, approval, and love.
Any change for anyone, especially for a freshman, even a welcome or an
anticipated change, is not easy to deal with, until a person gets settled and is
comfortable with the situation and the environment.
It is natural to feel challenges and stress in the beginning of every
transition. Experiencing this kind of emotional and, at times, chaotic situation
is natural and expected. One solution is to make a quiet time to reflect and
work on building healthy self-esteem.
Glen R. Schiraldi defines self-esteem as a realistic appreciative opinion of
self which is built upon an accurate sense of worth, unconditional love and
acceptance, and constructive growth. Building healthy self-esteem benefits
one who is functioning well and wants to enhance life quality.
Self-esteem is confidence and satisfaction in oneself. Simple,
straightforward, and effective techniques can dramatically improve the way
you think and feel about yourself by breaking a negative self-concept,
dissolving internal barriers to success in work, and conquering fear.
Self-esteem has two components: a feeling of personal competence and a
feeling of personal worth. In other words, self-esteem is the sum of selfefficacy and self-respect. It reflects your implicit judgment of your ability to
cope with the challenges of your life.
Courage, confidence, and success begin with self-esteem, and self-esteem
begins with you! Of all the judgments you make in life, none is as important
as the one you make about yourself. When you look into your eyes in the
mirror, you should feel yourself as worthwhile and valuable as anyone else.
The difference between low self-esteem and high self-esteem is the difference
between failure and success.
Your feeling good about yourself is correlated with how you are liked,
approved, appreciated, and loved. Your confidence is improved and selfrespect is enhanced when you realize that you are liked, approved,
appreciated, and loved. Therefore, now your challenge is to make your
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teachers, campus authorities, and friends like you, approve you, appreciate
you, and love you.
Remember that your first and foremost priority is your academic success.
In order to do well in your classes and get good grades, you must learn the
material covered. By learning the material covered in class, you feel smart and
confident; in addition, professors and peers recognize you. Your opinion is
sought and often taken seriously. Your diligence will help you earn special
awards like scholarships, internships, etc. Honors go to students with good
grades. Your self-esteem and pride will increase considerably, and you will
make your parents very proud of you, too. More than anything, your joy in
learning will be enhanced and you will look forward to accepting new
academic challenges that you encounter on your way to achieving excellence.
Attending classes and completing assignments on time will motivate you to
participate in class activities enthusiastically; your active participation will
gain you your teachers respect, and that will help you to earn your peers
respect. (Though some may call you a nerd, you need to know what to
ignore.)
Choose your friends wisely. Some of your peers might start looking at you
as a role model. Knowing about your success will make your parents very
happy, proud, and more supportive of your hard efforts. The whole situation
will motivate you to work hard and harder, accept new challenges that you
may encounter with confidence on the way to excellence, and help build
healthy self-esteem.
Humility, love for others, respect for authority, self-discipline, and
devotion to God are five concepts that are valid and relevant for today. These
encourage you to seek opportunities. These values help boost your confidence
and self-concept, and keep you emotionally healthy. When you exhibit your
tenacity by working hard to achieve excellence, respecting your teacher and
authorities (remember that they are concerned about your well-being; they are
here to teach you, guide you, not to police or harm you), the entire matter of
your self-worth, self-respect, and self-esteem is placed in its proper
perspective.
Others have stated differently the importance of self-esteem: Morale is
self-esteem in action, confirms Avery Weisman. Besides, What a man
thinks of himself, that is what determines, or rather indicates his fate, states
Henry David Thoreau. And Self-reverence, self-knowledge, and self-control
lead life to sovereign power, declares Alfred Lord Tennyson.
Life is all about winning the war, not every battle. The best of luck on
building healthy self-esteem and new academic year endeavors.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Return to structured schedule

August 1, 2007
The very thought of returning to a structured schedule sets a panic mood in

me. Its hard to believe that three months of good old days of summer
vacation are almost over. Seems like just a couple of weeks ago, Dr. Henry N.
Tisdale, Claflin University president, bid goodbye to the faculty, saying:
Enjoy your much-deserved break. Have fun with your family, relax, travel,
read that book which has been pushed back on the bookshelf, due to the lack
of time.
I wonder just how speedily the time has flown by. I enjoyed living
unstructured, feeling like a 6-year-old, no future except dessert and birthdays.
Mom made the lunches and dinners and daddy paid the bills; nothing to worry
about.
Unfortunately, for now, when it came to the reality check, frozen TV
dinners, canned food and the microwave oven filled in for mom, and credit
cards took the place of dad. Sadly, it was far from fulfillment, but helplessly, I
had to settle with the next-to-the-best solution.
Free of restrictions, no bedtime, no early morning alarm buzzing off to wake
me up, dessert for breakfast, tea and toast for lunch, chips and dips or a peanut
butter-jelly sandwich and coffee for dinner, feeling guilty, I subconsciously
looked around to see if my mom was watching my irresponsible behavior. I
dont plan to tell my grandchildren; cant disappoint them for not being a role
model to set an example for their healthy eating lifestyle.
Well, if I knew better, why did I do it? The simple answer, as my 2-1/2year-old grandson Devan would say, when hearing his loud cry, I asked him
why he cried, I wanted to; however, my answer is, Because I could. This
sort of behavior reminds me of the poem, Resignation, that I received a few
years ago through e-mail. I enjoyed reading it very much, so I share it with
you, hoping that you will enjoy it, too.
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided
I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8-year-old again. I want to go
to McDonalds and think that its a four-star restaurant. I want to sail sticks
across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks. I want to think
M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a
big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all you knew were
colors, multiplication tables and nursery rhymes; but that didnt bother you,
because you didnt know what you didnt know and you didnt care.
All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all
the things that should make you worried or upset. I want to think the world is
fair. That everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is
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possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly

excited by the little things again.
I want to live simple again. I dont want my day to consist of computer
crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days
in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness and
loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice,
peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow. So
heres my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my 401K
statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.
And if you want to discuss this further, youll have to catch me first, cause
Tag! Youre it.
Well! Time and tide wait for no one! It is time to resume our duties. It is
time to get back to my schedule, go back to work, meet my colleagues and
students, and accomplish what needs to be accomplished.
However, the message is simple here: Make it simple! The happiness lies
in simple harmony between the man and the life he leads.
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MATRICULATION DAY
COLUMNS
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Mandakini Hiremath
The class of 9/11

and
What Really Happened to the Class of 65?
As we welcome the class of 2009 and start the new academic year, I cant
help but reflect on the graduates of 2005 to whom we just said good-bye as
they marched in style in their commencement ceremony, wearing their caps
and gowns and carrying that prestigious title the best class. They are some
of the best young people this nation has to offer.
These young people will never forget the convocation that opened their
freshman year. We Claflinites have a special memory of this day, Tuesday,
September 11, 2001. The morning began as bright as any other morning in
late summer, but within a few hours it turned into a day of annihilation of
human innocence and trust. That morning, before we all assembled in the JTK
Physical Education Center at 11 a.m. for the Matriculation Day convocation,
nineteen terrorists hijacked four airplanes, crashed them into the towers of the
World Trade Center, took out one side of the Pentagon, and maimed the
Pennsylvania countryside. The numbers were astonishing. Terrorists had
killed close to 3000 people. The American conviction regarding invincibility
was shaken, and the entire nation was on alert.
At convocation special prayers were included in light of what had
happened earlier that morning. The mood was sad. As our young men and
women were inducted into their four-year programs to build their hopes and
bring their dreams to reality, they walked bravely in spite of their shattered
innocence and pledged their commitment to work hard and to persevere to
reach their goals. They spent their entire course at Claflin University facing
economic uncertainty, their nation at war, and additional objects of terror at
home: anthrax, the smallpox virus, the shoe bomber, suicide bombers and the
possibility of dirty bombs and biochemical attacks. Regardless, they did fine.
The 9/11 attacks didnt alter their goal but instilled in them a greater love for
their country. They were more positively determined to make the best of each
day.
Circumstances made them stronger, encouraged them to have a goal, and
forced them to set their priorities and work hard to succeed. Considering most
of our students come from middle-class hard-working, down-to-earth families,
our graduates did not have the luxury of drawing from their inheritances or
hiding behind their parents wings. They had to be prepared to complete their
course work within the set period and persevere to become self-made
persons.
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As our graduating seniors get close to the end of their final academic year,
they frequently get too busy taking care of every last detail and are often too
overwhelmed by anxiety and excitement to talk with anyone in a relaxed
manner. Therefore, I start asking them at their relaxed moments about their
future plans: if they are entering graduate school, the job market, private
business, or just taking some time to travel. Most of them, as I learned in
conversing with them, had some kind of plan, and they were excited and ready
to enter a new world with hope and faith to seek opportunities in their chosen
areas. They expressed content with their status and confidence to move on.
As the time to bid farewell approached, I asked them, as Dr. Henry N.
Tisdale, Claflin University president, does, to stay in touch and come back to
share their experience with us. The idea, I believe, appealed to them. They
were scared of leaving school; at the same time, they were ready to go,
experiencing the tension of opposites. Parting is always a sweet sorrow. As we
shared our good-byes with mixed feelings, the graduates seemed to be
wondering what the big world would be like out there.
I was content to notice the changes that had occurred since the day they
walked onto the Claflin University campus four years ago, bade goodbye to
their parents, and crossed the Arch of Confidence in the Parting Ceremony
to greet administrators and professors, and they celebrated the milestone with
confidence.
With a smile, I blurted to myself, Not bad! This generation did a lot
better! Coming back to reality, I wondered about my subconscious blurt:
better than whom?
I remembered the cover story Todays Teenagers from a January 1965
issue of Time magazine; it focused on the senior class from Palisades High
School in suburban Los Angeles. The members of this class were thirty young
men and women who lived in one of the wealthiest school districts in
America. And their parents included many of the nations rich and famous.
Time mentioned, They stood on the fringe of a golden era, as they left high
school and headed for college. No one could have foreseen the social and
personal upheavals that lay ahead.
But ten years later, two members of that class, Michael Medved and David
Wallechinsky, wrote the book What Really Happened to the Class of 65? In
it the members of the class described what had happened to them and how
they had changed. They talked about their dreams and disappointments, their
initiation into drugs and sex, their reactions to the Kennedy assassination, the
Vietnam War, and the music of the sixties.
The follow-up study was striking. Their former classmates, far from
entering a golden era, had been plagued by personal tragedies and emotional
unrest. Drug abuse, alcoholism, rebellion, sexual irresponsibility, divorce and
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even prison time were common for members of that group. Many were still
lost and unprepared for the game of life.
According to Medved and Wallechinsky, the immaturity and rebellion of
their fellow students was the product of parental indulgence. Their moms and
dads, who consistently gave them money, bailed them out of jail, and repaired
their wrecked cars, gave them little incentive to work or study. Perhaps more
importantly, the parents failed to teach them the values, ethics, and beliefs on
which the meaning of life is based.
That happened many years ago, but I wonder if there is relevance here for
us today. Nevertheless, I am happy and thankful for our children, who handled
9/11 and the pressures of the aftermath positively, loved their parents and
trusted that their professors and administrators would meet their expectations
to prepare them to be role models who will lead future generations to be some
of the nations best.
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Be prepared to move with the cheese

Each new academic year is a transitional period. Any change, welcome or

unwelcome, anticipated or unanticipated, is not easy to deal with until one
gets emotionally and physically settled and is comfortable with the situation.
This situation reminds me the book, Who Moved My Cheese? An A-Mazing
Way To Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life, written by
Spencer Johnson. It revolves around two mice, Sniff and Scurry, and two little
people, Hem and Haw, who are trapped in a maze and provides a simple but
powerful message for the reader confronted by unwelcome change and
psychological roadblocks.
Here is the story: One day two mice, Sniff and Scurry, and two little
people, Hem and Haw, find a huge mound of cheese in Cheese Station C.
They like it and return day after day to eat the cheese. Hem and Haw get
comfortably settled and think that they will never have to look for new cheese
ever again. However, in their comfort they fail to notice that the cheese is
getting old and smelly, and its amount has been dwindling. One day the
cheese disappears. Without analyzing the situation, the mice explore their
surroundings and then go off in quest of new cheese. However, Hem and Haw
feel at home at Cheese Station C. They complain about the removal of the
cheese and insist that it was theirs and that it must be restored. They are
outraged, shocked, scared, and baffled by its disappearance. They remain in
Cheese Station C wondering where the cheese has gone and hoping for its
return.
One day, Haw realizes that he is getting weaker as he waits for the return
of the cheese. The waiting is not working. Feeling old, tired, and scared of the
unknown, he goes in search of new cheese. Fortunately, he finds it. During
his cheese-seeking quest, he keeps writing lifes lessons on the wall of the
maze:
Change happens. They keep moving the Cheese.
Anticipate change. Get ready for the cheese to move.
Enjoy Change. Savor the adventure and enjoy the taste of the new Cheese.
Old Beliefs Do Not Lead To New Cheese.
The Quicker You Let Go of the Old Cheese, the Sooner You Find the New
Cheese.
After finding the new cheese, Haw reunites with his pals, Sniff and Scurry,
and vows to change his ways by being ready for change the next time. By
contrast, Hem is hemmed in by his conservative ideas; we dont know
whether he ever leaves Cheese Station C.
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Cheese is a metaphor for whatever one desires in life. For the mice, it is
cheese, but for the little people, it could be success, happiness, or financial
security.
The four characters, Sniff, who sniffs out change early, and Scurry, who
scurries into action, and the little people, Hem, who denies and resists change
because he fears it will lead to something worse, and Haw, who learns to
adapt in time when he sees changing leads to something better, represent the
simple and complex parts of ourselves. We all share the need to find our way
through the maze in order to succeed in changing times.
The lesson to be learned from this fable is this: Think more like the mice.
They always explore their surroundings and are looking for change. Realize
that change is a law of nature. Chances are that the cheese might be moved
several times in your life. Dont be afraid to accept challenges; instead, go
looking for the new cheese.
I end this column with a quotation from A. J. Cronin: Life is no straight
and easy corridor along which we travel free and unhampered, but a maze of
passages through which we must seek our way, lost and confused, now and
again checked in a blind alley. But always if we have faith, a door will open
for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would ever have thought of, but one
that will ultimately prove good for us.
Just the other day, someone said to me, Life is not a bed of roses, you
know! I wonder if that person thought of roses free of thorns.
Finally, let us wish each other great success during this academic year.
Just remember: Move with the Cheese!
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Stand to make a positive difference

When a friend of mine said that she was wrongfully insulted, I bombarded
her with What? When? Where? Why? How? before she finished her
sentence. However, she seemed very hurt and wasnt ready to talk about it. I
tried to solace her by speaking about the positive aspects that we encounter in
everyday life. The world we live in may not be perfect, but it still is a
wonderful place to live. Therefore, I asked her to try to put that incident out of
her mind, hoping that the guilty partys conscience will have to answer for the
injustice.
Let us bow our heads in faith to thank the God Almighty for his amazing
creation. Should we pause to glance at those who are loud and vain or too
passive to lend a hand to make a positive contribution, to make a difference,
and say to them, Thank you for nothing? Or should we follow William
James pearl of wisdom, The art of being wise is knowing what to ignore,
and move forward in gratitude with a smile for those who take a firm stand
and lend their firm hands to make this world each day a better place to live in
peace and justice?
Each ones time on earth is limited. There is only so much energy that
anyone is bestowed with in this life time. Energy is power. One should not
waste it. One can do only so much in a given time, so he or she should not
dwell on negative things. One should be happy to join the community of just,
happy, and positive thinkers who are always ready to lend a hand to uplift the
downtrodden, to make a difference. These positive contributors are destined to
stay on top because they need always to stand on top in order to be able to lift
someone else up. They are happy because they know that they are making
others happy by instilling justice in society. It is better to join the team of
uplifters than those who always stand at the bottom in order to pull someone
else down. Thank God Almighty that the number of pessimists is far exceeded
by the number of positive contributors.
Reflecting on a situation like this makes me ponder President Henry N.
Tisdales favorite Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership, produced by
Kent Keith. He read these at the conclusion of his spring semester address to
Claflin faculty and staff at the Honors and Recognition Ceremony:
1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered: Love them anyway.
2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Do
good anyway.
3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies: succeed
anyway.
4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow: Do good anyway.
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5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable: Be honest and frank anyway.
6. The biggest men (and women) with the biggest ideas can be shot down by
the smallest men (and women) with the smallest minds: Think big anyway.
7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs: Fight for a few
underdogs anyway.
8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight: Build anyway.
9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them: Help them
anyway.
10. Give the world the best you have and you will get kicked in the teeth:
Give the world the best you have anyway.
Obviously, Dr. Tisdale has modeled these commandments in faith and
proved himself as an outstanding leader not just to the Claflin University
family, but also to the larger community by setting an example, by not just
demanding that his co-workers follow these commandments but showing
them how to incorporate them in their daily lives. In addition, since it is
human to forget or overlook these principles for selfish reasons or at times for
no reason, Dr. Tisdale reminds us time and again of his belief: Life would be
a lot happier if we praised the good we see, for theres such a lot of goodness
in the worst of each one.
He admonishes us to be kinder and fair. In the words of I Know Something
Good about You, a poem he often shares with us, he asks, Wouldnt it be nice
to practice this fine way of thinking tooYou know something good about
me. / I know something good about you! While speaking at the 2002
Matriculation Day convocation, he read the poem The Cold Within to stress
the importance of unity. The Cold Within is about six humans trapped by
coincidence in black and bitter cold. Each one possessed a stick of wood.
While their dying fire was in need of logs, everyone held his/her log back, for
the first one noticed one was black; the next man saw one didnt go to his
church; the third one sat in tattered clothes and asked why should his log be
put to use to warm the idle rich? the rich man just sat back and thought of his
wealth he had earned and how he kept what he had earned from the lazy
shiftless poor; the black mans face spoke revenge as the fire passed from his
sight, for all he saw in his stick of wood was a chance to spite the white; and
the last man of this forlorn group believed in giving only to those who gave.
Holding the log in their tight fists, all six humans died, not from the cold
without, but from the cold within. As the poet, unknown, puts it, a proof of
human sin.
Dr. Tisdale concluded his address by enumerating the lessons learned
through the building of Noahs ark. Dr. Tisdale always stresses the importance
of co-workers getting along and working together as a family, the Claflin
University family.
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Mandakini Hiremath
As Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day OConner has stated, Make each
day a good day. Try to do a little good each day, for you dont know how
many more days you have got on this earth.
Our time on earth is precious and limited, so make it strategic and execute
it wisely. As we end each day, lets thank the people that lend a hand to justice
and teach us how to be positive contributors. Lets pray and thank the God for
the bounty of kindness and love He has placed on this earth to make each life
specially gifted, precious, and worth living.
It is always better to light a candle than to blame the darkness. Let us wish
each other the best of luck for this academic year. May our sailing be smooth
and destined.
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Life is all about choices we make

Thursday, Sept. 7, 2006
As I reflected on the matriculation assemblies of the past, I recalled Claflin

University President Henry N. Tisdales addressing the matriculation
assembly of 2003. We have reason to celebrate, he said, so we celebrate
the past, the present, and the future vision of the University. Today, we
celebrate the Claflin passport to excellence.
Stressing the theme Passport to Excellence, Dr. Tisdale drew student
reaction with his reference to how passports of different types are used when
he recalled finding a flyer from a local nightspot during a walk across the
campus. Then he admonished, Everything advertised as free is not free. If
you choose the wrong passport, it can cost you your grade-point-average,
scholarships, -- even life itself.
Be careful. I simply recommend that we make good decisions, advised
President Tisdale.
At the end of the program, after issuing the customary proclamation and
announcing the opening of the new academic year, Dr. Tisdale declared, Let
the bells ring and the classes begin.
Each years matriculation ceremony is about declaring institutional
readiness and reminding each one about the opportunity that exists. Now,
Claflinites, as the bells ring and classes begin, let the learning begin. As Stern
confirms, The desire for knowledge, like thirst for riches, increases ever with
the acquisition of it. Get thirsty. Heed George Bernard Shaws advice: The
people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and if they cant find them, make them. In the face
of failure, learn from experience and never give up. Edwin C. Bliss writes,
Success doesnt mean the absence of failure. It means the attainment of
ultimate objectives. It means winning the war, not every battle.
Think positively. Get going to achieve what you want out of this life in this
world. As Claflin confirms its readiness, you are inducted into your four-year
program to build your hopes and bring your dreams to reality. Its time for
you to pledge your commitment to work hard and to persevere to reach your
goals.
The key to accomplishing your goals is setting your priorities, managing
your time wisely, and staying organized in order to avoid procrastination.
Your future is in your hands. Strive to make it the best possible one by
choosing the right passport.
As you proceed, you may notice progress in your performance and
experience the tinges of success. However, let this success not blind you with
overconfidence and ego. Or if failures, rejections, and disappointments are
lurking around you, in your cynical moments, think about people who fell flat
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on their faces before reaching their goals. Your failure may very well turn into
a steppingstone to lead you to success. There are no secrets to success. Its a
result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure, says Colin
Powell, former Secretary of State. When A Man for All Season won every
prize, Fred Zinnemann, who directed some of Hollywoods most honored
movies, was asked by a reporter about his previous film, Behold a Pale Horse,
which had been a box-office disaster. I dont feel any obligation to be
successful, replied Zinnemann. Success can be dangerousyou feel you
know it all. I have learned a great deal from my failure, he added. A similar
point was made by Richard Brooks about his ambitious money-loser, Lord
Jim. Recalling the three years of his life that went into it, talking almost with
elation about the troubles that befell his unit in Cambodia, Brooks explained
that he learned more about his craft from this considerable failure than from
his many earlier hits.
You are obligated to work hard, but you are not always guaranteed a
positive outcome. However, if you have tried hard and the results are still not
in your favor and you are not happy with them, know that everyone cant be
good at everything, so drop out to find your area of interest, the subject you
want to study by majoring in it. Princeton-educated Professor William
Zinsser, American critic, writer, and a longtime faculty member at Yale,
writes, The word dropout is applied only to people under twenty-one. For
the young, dropping out is often a way of dropping in. Use his idea positively
to find your own interests, skills, and calling that will lead you to success,
happiness, and contentment.
However, dropping out should not be for the purpose of coddling some
vague discontent. It shouldnt be a sign of laziness. Its better to succeed than
to flop. Dropping out should be applied only when you see no other
alternative. You need to find your niche, what you are good at. Pursue your
dream. Find the work you love, and then you will never have to work in your
life, as elders have told us repeatedly. When you find the work you love, you
do it well. Getting into the habit of doing it well gives you and others
pleasure. As a result, you replace the old formula, work = pain with a new
formula, work - pain = pleasure.
You must always do whatever you do with a higher aim. Do not settle for
less. Shoot for the stars. Believe in your ability, respect guidance from elders,
well-wishers, and teachers and have faith in Gods grace. The mighty
combination, your hard work and the God Almightys blessing, will enable
you to bring your dreams to reality.
Your life is all about the choices you make. Your happiness depends on it.
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We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors. May your sailing be
smooth. May the God Almighty be with you to guide you and lead you in the
right direction.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Reflection on Gov. Mark Sanfords address at Claflin Universitys commencement in 2006 in a

three-part series of columns
Governor Sanfords challenge to graduates

Governor Mark Sanford delivered an informative, challenging, and

inspiring address to the members of the Class 2006 during the recent Claflin
University commencement convocation. I consider the members of each
graduating class very fortunate in that, as they prepare to travel in uncharted
waters, they get to listen to emotionally, physically and spiritually stirring
speeches given by invited honorable speakers, so I decided to provide the
same opportunity to returning students and incoming freshmen by writing
about the commencement address.
Congratulating the 2006 graduating class of Claflin University, Gov.
Sanford said, Today, its all about celebrating a milestone.
If you walk out into the world in the 21st century with anything less than a
first-rate education, a commitment to lifelong learning, and financial
independence with your graduation today, you are the equivalent of walking
out onto the battlefield without a gun.
Its also a chance to look forward. Here you are leaving a relatively safe
harbor at Claflin. Mind you, you didnt get anywhere all by yourself, so the
appropriate graduation message will be use this chance to stop and say thank
you to your parents, professors, and administrators and to those who helped
you to get here where you are today.
Relating an anecdote involving his young children, who had been playing a
risky game, taking turns to run as fast as they could with plastic buckets over
their heads into a cement wall, Governor Sanford urged graduates, Do not go
through life wearing a bucket over your head. Become leaders in whatever
you choose to do because God has given you talent.
God gave every one of you a different talent. You are here on earth for a
reason. The question is, Are you going to choose to lead in whatever you
do? Every one of you has a unique mission here on earth. Do you lead in that
mission? If you wont accept that kind of mission, that challenge, I have a
couple of thoughts I would like you to take to heart and employ in your life.
Gov. Sanford elaborated on his thoughts, making six points: 1. Live your
dream. 2. Focus on your dream. 3. Commit it to paper. 4. Use all the talent
you have. 5. Be persistent and understand the urgency of time, for our time on
earth is limited. 6. Include others in your life. He illustrated his points by
using a variety of strategies. At times, he referred to nonfiction books, such as
Thinking for a Change by John Maxwell; The Purpose-Driven Life: Its Not
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Mandakini Hiremath
About You, by Rick Warren; Endurance, Sir Earnest Shackletons real-life

story; and The Parable of the Talents from Matthew in the New Testament, or
he referred to movies that deal with real life stories, such as Rudy, a true tale
of the triumph of a human spirit, and Remember the Titans, a true tale of
successful racial integration. In addition, he quoted Calvin Coolidge and
Ralph Waldo Emerson when he asked graduates to focus authentically, to
know exactly what their dreams are, and to think about these examples.
I believe anyone can use Gov. Mark Sanfords informative, challenging, and
inspiring commencement address as a guide. Therefore, in order to do it
justice, instead of tightening it or skipping some of his thoughts, I shall
discuss it in detail in two further columns.
Read about Gov. Sanfords point Live your dream. Follow your dream in
the next installment; the third and final installment will illustrate the
remaining points: Focus on your dream, commit it to paper, use all the
talent you have, be persistent and understand the urgency of time, for our time
on earth is limited, and include others in your life.
Next: Live your dream, follow your dream, followed by Focus on your dream and beyond
in part three.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Live your dream, follow your dream

Following is the second of three parts about Gov. Mark Sanfords address at Claflin
Universitys commencement in 2006
1. Live your dream. Follow your dream. Theres a great deal of

temptation with modern-day media, Hollywood and everything else that is
trying to get somebody into somebody elses dream. To illustrate his point,
Governor Sanford mentioned the movie Rudy, which he loved so much that
he and his children ended up watching it over and over again.
Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger, third of fourteen children, stands as a triumph of
the human spirit. The movie is based on a touching true story of the power of
hope and hard work. From the time he was a young boy, everyone told Rudy
Ruettiger that he was too small, too weak, and not smart enough to
accomplish his undying dream, and ultimate goal, to play football for Notre
Dame. Discouraged, he shelved his dream and followed his father and
brothers to work in a steel mill. Only one person, Rudy's best friend Pete,
actually had faith in him. When Pete was killed in a freak accident four years
later, something in Rudy was reawakened, and he realized that, if he was ever
going to be happy in life, he needed to play football. He needed to go to Notre
Dame. But he didn't have the grades to get in. Developing the courage to
follow his dream, Rudy did everything in his power, for several long
semesters, to gain admission to the prestigious school.
But getting into Notre Dame wasn't his only problem. Once in, he had to
get on the team, no mean feat for someone who, in the words of Fortune, the
maintenance man, was "five-foot nothin', a hundred and nothin'," and had "no
speck of athletic ability." And even after he was on the team, there was no
guarantee that he would actually get to dress for a game. However, determined
to defy all those who doubted his dream of playing football at the University
of Notre Dame, Rudy set off for South Bend, Indiana, with a duffle bag filled
with hopes and a bus ticket. Upon arriving at his destination, he met a caring
Catholic priest who ultimately became his best mentor. Father Cavanaugh saw
Rudy's heart and desire and was determined to help this young man
accomplish his goal. A timeline was created for Rudy to establish and
maintain a respectable grade point average at Holy Cross Junior College
within one academic year. If he met this goal, he would be one step closer to
realizing his dream of both getting into Notre Dame and playing football for
the Fighting Irish.
Finally, Rudy got into Notre Dame. He attended classes, worked for
Fortune as a member of the stadium's groundskeeping crew, and was then
selected to play on the practice squad. Rudy played among the team's starters
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both on offense and defense. He earned respect through perseverance and

brutal practice, as he and his battered companions helped to prepare the team
for its next game.
As a result of never giving up, Rudy got the opportunity in the last few
moments of his senior year in 1975 to play in the last home game against
Georgia Tech. (The coach allowed him to play for 27 seconds.) Through his
persistence and hard work, he earned more than he could ever have imagined.
It is worth noting that Rudy Ruettiger was the only player ever to be carried
off the field at Notre Dame Stadium.
Rudy fulfilled his dream not because of his athletic prowess but because of
the way he stayed true to his dream and persevered. The key is no goal is too
big or too small to be accomplished successfully if one is willing to persevere
through all hardships. Everyone has a different dream, a different course for
life.
Think about the people who achieved any kind of greatness in life. Every
one of them has tried to beat his own drum. Offering the example of Ted
Turner, who created CNN, Governor Sanford noted that it was not
conventional wisdom that there would be a market for 24-hour television and
added that the Wright Brothers lived their dream of flying the craft they
created by going against conventional wisdom. However, they succeeded in
the end because of their perseverance.
As Gov. Sanford asked graduates to follow [their] dream, he spoke
hypothetically about becoming a dentist because somebody else wanted you to
be a dentist; in that case, you fulfill somebody elses dream; becoming dentist
is not wrong and you may well become a successful dentist, but, if it wasnt
your dream, you will never have the passion that is required to be a true
leader.
Next: Focus on your dream and beyond, the final of three parts.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Focus on your dream and beyond

Following is the final of three parts about Gov. Mark Sanfords address at Claflin
Universitys commencement in 2006.
2. Focus on your dream. Pointing out the role Denzel Washington played
in the movie Remember the Titans, a true tale of successful racial integration,
Governor Sanford noted how Denzel Washingtons character, Coach Herman
Boone, succeeded ultimately by focusing on shaping a bunch of talented but
racially polarized teenaged boys, white and black, into a unit that would fight
other teams, instead of one another.
Referring to John Maxwells book Thinking for a Change and to the
quotation from Emerson, Concentration is the secret of strengths in politics,
in war, in trade, in short, in all management of human affairs, Governor
Sanford asked graduates to focus and know exactly what their dream is about
and to think about such entities as the Marine Corps, Boy Scouts, FedEx, and
McDonalds; we may or may not agree with what they are doing, but each one
of these entities has focused on its mission and has been successful in its own
way.
Therefore, to be successful, you need to concentrate on your mission.
3. Commit it to paper; write down your own ideas. Stressing the word
whatever, the Governor stated, Whatever doesnt mean that you are going
to be all you want to be and can be. If you commit it to paper, youll be sure
to know where you want to be, so it will direct you towards progress.
4. Referring to The Parable of the Talents, in Matthew in the New
Testament, Governor Sanford advised graduates that the person who has just
one talent has got to use all that he or she has. He recounted the parable in
which the master goes away entrusting his property to his servants; to one he
gives five talents, to another, two talents and to the third, one talent. When the
master returns after a long time, he is pleased with the ones who had received
multiple talents and traded in order to double those. However, he is displeased
with the one who had received one talent, digging a hole and burying it to
secure it until his master returned; calling him wicked and lazy, the master
said, You ought to have invested my money with bankers, and, on my return,
I would have received what was my own with interest. So the master took the
talent from him and gave it to the one with ten talents.
Some people have more talent; some have less talent. Its irrelevant what
you have because at the end of the day youll be judged on what you did with
what you had, said Governor Sanford.
5. Quoting Calvin Coolidge, Nothing in the world can take the place of
persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men
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Mandakini Hiremath
with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education
will not; the world is full of educated derelicts, and asserting the
omnipotence of persistence and determination, Governor Sanford asked
graduates to be persistent and to put the persistence within the brackets of
now. Quoting Dr. Martin Luther King, the governor emphasized, One of
the curses of our state is that we forget the fierce urgency of now. When
you live your life, remember this whole urgency of now because we have a
limited amount of time here on this earth. And the key to glorifying God and
making the most out of your life is using now.
6. Have a course of life that includes others, advised Governor Sanford.
After stating, At the end of life, the life about you is ultimately a meaningless
life. If your life doesnt include others, its not going to be a significant life,
and you will never have a shot at leading others because you didnt include
others, Governor Sanford illustrated by quoting the opening sentence from
Rick Warrens book The Purpose-Driven Life: Its not about you. The
more quickly one realizes that, the better off he or she will be.
To emphasize his point, Governor Sanford referred to Shackletons real life
story, Endurance, which personifies both leadership and persistence. On
August 8, 1914, an expedition of 27 headed by Sir Earnest Shackleton set out
to be the first to cross the continent of Antarctica. The Endurance, the ship,
got trapped and then was destroyed on the way to Antarctica. Their ill-fated
two-year voyage became a triumphant story of indomitable courage and faith
in the face of astounding obstacles. This is an exemplary tale of survival, a
true testament to iron will and outstanding leadership.
This tale is a lesson about life and how to lead and be successful in life, for
example, the need to be concerned about ones fellow man (the incident of the
sleeping man who would have been swallowed by ice except for Shackletons
vigilance), the wisdom of traveling lightly and quickly in times of adversity
(the incident when they toboggan down the mountain on their travel-worn
fannies in order to avoid freezing), and the wisdom of not stocking up huge
inventories of food (as they would have diminished the urgency of getting
out), and the advantage of looking at the current realities soberly but wisely.
This story teaches the reader lessons of survival, however impossible the
challenge may seem to be.
If you live this dream, focus on it, commit it to paper, and serve this armynotion of being all that you can be with your persistence to live in the world
of now, you will serve others; you will be a leader, and you will make a
difference. Each one of us looks forward to watching you in your future
success. Godspeed on that journey, concluded Governor Sanford.
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Mandakini Hiremath
We hope this commencement address, delivered by Governor Mark

Sanford to the Class of 2006, proves affirmative to returning Claflinites and
incoming freshmen as well.
Remember these words of wisdom as you begin your journey in the new
academic year. Take the advice to heart and apply it to pave your path, day by
day, towards progress. The Claflin family wishes all of you a successful
academic year. May the Lord Almighty be with us, protect us, and guide us in
the right direction. May our sailing be smooth.
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Mandakini Hiremath
New Beginning
As I thought of writing a column for Thursdays matriculation event at

Claflin University, I reflected on assemblies of the past. I recalled University
of South Carolina President Dr. Andrew Sorensen delivering an emotionally,
physically and spiritually stirring speech at the spring convocation in 2005.
Here I reflect on his comments, hoping to inspire the class of 2011 to do well
as they are being matriculated.
On that occasion, Sorenson said, You are heirs of a magnificent tradition
of a heritage shaped by the blood, sweat, tears and prayers of your
predecessors and ancestors. Stating, This eminent institution was conceived
with the hope that you will be here today, he added, Your acceptance of
your heritage distinguishes you from others. Difference carries with it
responsibility; use it for creativity and exploration purposes.
Through your experiences you have been able to receive seeds. You have
come here because you have something to share and made the choice of
preparing yourself to nurture those seeds. To validate this choice, you need to
discipline yourself, and that itself separates you from your peers and others, as
well. Today, as you walked into this assembly, remember it as a walk of
discipline. Remember this walk for discipline not only this moment but also
throughout your life.
Broaden your experience and expand your horizon. There are children
who positively need role models, he advised.
Sorensen reminded the students that by choosing to enroll at Claflin, they
sacrificed the option of being average, becoming different from your high
school classmates by choosing this university. Whatever happens in the rest
of your life, you will not be an average person because you will not have an
average educational experience. You have an opportunity to prepare and
educate yourself at Claflin University with an Excellence by design
education.
You will have an excellent chance of rising above average status, perhaps
believing that you didnt have a good high school education. Now, you have
an opportunity to choose whether you want to be a compassionate, successful,
productive member of your community. As soon as you entered the front door
of this university, your view of looking at the world, your expectation of your
life, your dreams for the future are changed. You will never go back to
average, he said.
The viewpoint at Claflin is that each years matriculation is about declaring
institutional readiness and reminding each student of the opportunity that
exists. As Claflin confirms its readiness, students are inducted into a four-year
program to build hopes and bring dreams to reality.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Individually, students should remember the Five Ps: Prior preparation

prevents poor performance. Think positively. Get going.
The key to accomplishing goals is setting priorities, managing time wisely
and staying organized in order to avoid procrastination. The future is in each
students hands.
Do not let little successes blind you with overconfidence and ego. By
contrast, if failures, rejections and disappointments are lurking, think about
people who fell flat on their faces before reaching their goals. Failure may
very well turn into a stepping stone to success.
The goal is attainment of ultimate objectives. Set your eyes on success.
You may be bogged down with difficulties and complex problems; however,
if you face them boldly and try to solve them strategically, the experiences
make you stronger and wiser. There is no easy road or spiritual guide for the
odyssey. As the old spiritual relates, there are lots of problems; you cant go
over; you cant go around; you cant go under; you have to go through to
solve those.
Every student needs to find a niche and pursue dreams. Have a higher aim.
Do not settle for less. Believe in your ability, respect guidance and have faith
in Gods grace. The mighty combination, hard work and the Lord Almightys
blessing will enable students to see the college journey through, and bring
dreams to reality.
Lets hope Sorensons words inspire and help remind students the walk in
todays assembly is a walk of discipline and this walk for discipline becomes
a lifelong companion.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Aim to be successful
Now that you have matriculated in a four-year undergraduate program, you

must plan to be successful. Success is something that gives you fulfillment in
everything you do; your daily dealings leave you with a sense of contentment.
As a result, you feel blessed and see that the world you live in is a beautiful
place.
Concepts of success vary from person to person, so choose your own
definition of success and follow your dreams. One of the greatest challenges
of the journey that you face is choosing the right field of study and identifying
specific goals. If you follow a path to success that isnt your own, you may
achieve your goals; however, when you arrive at your destination, you may
not feel successful or fulfilled. Success doesnt emerge suddenly. You dont
wake up one day all of a sudden and realize that you are successful. (If your
definition of success is having lots of money and if you win millions of dollars
in a lottery, you have achieved your goal. Then again, if money alone is going
to make you happy, that will be another issue.)
The road to success is long and hard; it is built moment by moment and bit
by bit. Resist the temptation to take the easy way out. Aim at success one day
at time.
Start your day in a happy mood. As Psalms 118:24 states, "This is the day
that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." You may not start
your day rejoicing, but if you begin the day with a sense of gratitude and if
you resolve to make the day successful no matter what it takes, you may end
the day rejoicing. Your joyful mood, positive attitude, and commitment to
work hard will not go unnoticed. The people you interact with, your peers,
your professors, staff, administrators, and others, will like you, listen to you,
and respect your opinions. You will walk in self-confidence, which will help
boost your self-esteem, and you will end up feeling blessed.
Have good role models and hold yourself to their high standards. If your
day hasnt gone according to your plan, or even if it has, make a time to
reflect on your day at the end of the day. Re-examine your day so that you
will be able to alter your strategies for the next day to ensure that it will be
more successful than this one.
Regardless of how hard you work or how committed you are, there will be
times when you will experience failures and disappointments. See failure as a
positive indicator. While keeping perspective on what is truly important, learn
from experience, and never give up. Edwin C. Bliss writes, Success doesnt
mean the absence of failure. It means the attainment of ultimate objectives. It
means winning the war, not every battle.
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Mandakini Hiremath
In a nutshell, keep your eye on the destination (i.e., SUCCESS) on your

journey this academic year. Life is filled with difficulties and challenges. If
you half-heartedly try to get through your day, you will feel frustrated, sad,
and exhausted. However, those who persevere grow in the process and
increase their capacity to handle additional challenges and opportunities in
life. Your success as a student lies in your commitment to work hard and to
improve continuously by adapting and persevering. Use your gifts and talents
wisely. Remember that success is a journey, not a destination. Make your
journey a daily success!
Overall, new enterprises in the year ahead may demand that you utilize all
your mental, physical, and social resources in order to get things working.
Although it might drain you, the results will be worth it.
May your day be successful. Be glad that you have fulfilled todays
obligations adequately. May you end this day by looking forward to making
tomorrow another success.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Prefer to be a skeptic
A new academic year is well under way. You have been inducted into a
four-year program to build your hopes and bring your dreams to reality. You
have pledged to work hard and to persevere to reach your goals. With the
ending of your journey through high school, you have begun a new chapter of
your life with a brand new page. Keep in mind that four years of your wise
choices, hard work, and perseverance will earn you the key to brightening
your future. You will be counted as privileged ones, for you will be among the
less than 1 percent of the people on this earth who complete a university
education.
The most enduring skill you need to hone is your ability to learn how to
learn. Your success depends on it. I have noticed time-and-again when
students do on-line registration that some ask their peers if a certain professor
is easy or hard. Their tendency is to go with the easy professor who tolerates
their tardiness, lack of perseverance, poor performance, and, in the end, still
gives them good grades. However, the returning students know what my
advice to them is.
You are at school to learn, to withstand the demands of academic rigor, and
to meet expectations and requirements. And the best way to learn is to go
around asking all your friends who the best (hardest) teachers in school are
and taking their classes instead of seeking easy professors and an easy way
out. In the end, if you do not have knowledge, your diploma has no value.
You must know that "hard teachers," with their high expectations and
commitment to work with their students, make sure that you learn and
succeed.
You might, for instance, find writing a term paper or thesis challenging;
but once you start working on it intensively under the guidance of your
adviser and notice the progress, you may find the work exhilarating. And in
the end, when you finish the project effectively and compare it with other
work in your portfolio, you'll find it was worth the effort. You won't know
your potential unless you are challenged. And once you begin to realize your
potential, and the feeling of being rewarded, you will more confidently accept
future challenges.
You may remember 17-year-old Zac Sunders from California? After
enduring 13 months of sailing alone through the Pacific Ocean, the Indian
Ocean, Africa's Cape of Good Hope, the Atlantic Ocean and the Panama
Canal, he set a record as the youngest person to sail alone around the globe.
And on July 20, we celebrated the 40th anniversary of the moon walk. Neil
Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon, stepped off the Apollo 11 lunar
module ladder, left his bootprint in the chalky moon dust, and, as the whole
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Mandakini Hiremath
world watched television images, posted the American flag in the moon's
surface. As President John F. Kennedy said, "We choose to go to the moon in
this decade and do other things, not because they are easy, but because they
are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our
energies and skills. ..." The gratification you receive in undertaking,
persevering and succeeding such seemingly impossible tasks has its own
reward.
Prefer to be a skeptic rather than a cynic. Remember that skepticism is
about asking questions, being dubious, being wary and not being gullible. It is
about being open to being persuaded of a new fact or angle. Cynicism is about
already having the answers - or thinking you do - answers about a person or
an event. The skeptic says, "I don't think that's true; I'm going to check it out."
The cynic says: "I know that's not true. It couldn't be."
The key to accomplishing goals is setting priorities, managing time wisely
and staying organized in order to avoid procrastination. The future is in your
hands.
Beware of letting little successes blind you with overconfidence and ego.
On the other hand, if failures, rejections and disappointments are lurking
about, think about people who fell flat on their faces before reaching their
goals. Failure may very well turn into a stepping stone to success. Set your
eyes on the ultimate objective, i.e., success. At times, you may be bogged
down with difficulties and complex problems; but, if you face them boldly
and try to solve them strategically, these experiences make you stronger and
wiser. There is no easy road or guide for the odyssey. As the old spiritual
relates, there are lots of problems that you can't go over; you can't go around;
you can't go under; you have to go through to solve them.
Find a niche and pursue your dreams. Have a higher aim. Do not settle for
less. Choose your company wisely. On your journey, people and
circumstances will seek to influence you. Beware of the fact that while there
are those who will assist you in reaching your desired levels others will be
downright distracting. Believe in your ability, respect the guidance of
authorities and well-wishers, and have faith in God's grace. The mighty
combination of your hard work and the Lord Almighty's blessing will enable
you to see the journey through, and to help you bring your dreams to reality.
The opportunity exists. Make the best of it. You are expected to succeed.
Therefore, prepare to take your place at the top.
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Is college necessary for all?

You have heard the statement, "All I really need to know I learned in
kindergarten." I hope you take it with a pinch of salt. The well-known fact is
learning never ends. One is never too young to start learning and never too old
to stop learning.
We must remember that "learning" and "education" are different words
with different meanings, though frequently used interchangeably. Webster
defines "learning" as "acquiring skills"; knowledge arises in the mind of an
individual when that person interacts with an idea or experience. "Educate" is
defined as "to develop the knowledge, skill, or character of ..." Thus it's clear
that the purpose of education is to develop the knowledge, skill and character
of students. The central task of education is to implant a will and facility for
learning; it should produce not learned but learning people. As Eric Hoffer
states, "The truly human society is a learning society where grandparents,
parents, and children are students together."
Repelled by the rising cost of tuition and tempted by the appealing thought
of immediately generating an income right after receiving a high school
diploma, more people debate whether or not going to college is important.
However, as opposed to high-school graduates in past generations, graduates
today are unable to obtain the number of high-paying jobs that were once
available. The world has been transformed from a manufacturing-based
economy to an economy based on knowledge, and the importance of a college
education today can be compared to the importance of a high school education
40 years ago. It serves as the gateway to better options and more opportunity.
There are additional reasons why it is important to go to college. When
students experience a post-secondary education, they have the opportunity to
read books and listen to the lectures of top experts in their fields. This
stimulation encourages students to think, ask questions, and explore new
ideas, which allows for additional growth and development and provides
college graduates with an edge in the job market over those who have not
experienced a higher education. It also provides them the opportunity to gain
valuable resources during their tenure, such as internships, study abroad, job
fairs, and career development information. Therefore, the significant number
of opportunities available for college graduates cannot be overlooked.
The global economy is becoming increasingly more competitive; in order
to give yourself the best chance for a well-paying job, you must first
understand the importance of a college education. And even after you have
started your career, the importance of a college education has not been
exhausted. Having a college degree often provides for greater promotion
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opportunities. A career is important. Most of us have to work to make a living.

Being a gainfully employed member of society helps you to lead a life filled
with contentment. It helps in earning self-respect and respect from others as
well.
When I ponder the costs of higher education, I remember a cartoon that
pictured a grim-faced student sitting in a guidance counselor's office and
asking her, "Can I major in how to pay back my college loans?" Paying off
student loans is a haunting matter for college graduates. As the cost of tuition
continues to rise, the number of available financial aid options is also on the
rise. There are numerous organizations and corporations that offer college
scholarships; honors college programs also offer a free ride to qualified
undergraduate students. Most scholarships are merit-based, so this provides
you with another incentive to work hard and persevere in keeping up your
GPA in order to be eligible for them.
The fundamental purpose of education is to create good human beings,
though the supposed purpose of education, as marketed by the education
industry, is career advancement, higher pay and empowering a college
graduate's job search. Education is vital to the healthy growth and
development of one's personality. The end of knowledge is wisdom; education
is a fundamental means to bringing about desired change in society. It
develops the whole person. The end of education is character, which draws
out the best in child and man by helping develop his/her body, mind and spirit,
thus leading toward a prosperous future. Clearly, education plays a vital role
in giving human beings proper equipment to lead a contented, respectful,
graciously harmonious life.
The application here is from individual to universal. By educating yourself,
you are setting a great example for your children and the generations to come.
There is no match to this kind of investment.
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You cannot be anything you want to be

As I reflected on writing a matriculation column, my thoughts lingered on

the past commencement ceremony and how different these two events are.
Both commencement and matriculation symbolize defining moments; the
difference is defined by individuals. The former celebrates the milestone at the
end of one journey, while the latter celebrates the beginning of the journey to
reach that particular milestone.
Commencement is an auspicious and happy but serious occasion for our
outgoing graduates and their families. Notice the adjective young, which is
used when referring to men and women at the induction event, has
disappeared in the process. These candidates have endured hardships, have
diligently prepared to learn, and have patiently waited four long years for this
day to arrive. In their caps and gowns, they walk down the aisle toward the
podium to take possession of their diploma, the degree that symbolizes their
readiness to enter a new world. These graduates, utilizing their four years of
learning experiences and skills, are expected to go out into the world to make
a difference. With strengthened shoulders, they are ready to stand on their feet
and to let their successors stand on their shoulders so that their successors can
have a better view of the world and prepare themselves well. As the Rev. Dr.
David McKinney, pastor of the Prestonwood Baptist Church in Plano, Texas,
said, They [graduates] have a passport to their future; a chance to engage in
new opportunities; an instrument for changed behavior; a real investment in
their life; a chance to engage in servanthood, with knowledge about this
commitment; a reverence for human justice.
On the other hand, matriculation is a serious occasion for incoming
freshmen. This ceremony is designed to brief the young men and women on
institutional readiness and what is expected of them. The Matriculation Day
program is designed to challenge, to encourage, and to induct first-year
college students into the four years of an undergraduate program. On this
occasion, students pledge to work hard and persevere. As you - the students enter college, youll have professors, administrators, guidance counselors, and
mentors to guide you. You will be living inside a bubble, protected from lifes
harsh realities.
Incoming freshmen have a long way to sail as Claflinites to reach that
alumni status. Therefore, if someone tells you this day, You can be anything
you want to be, I hope you take that advice with a pinch of salt. A lot of the
self-esteem training that you got throughout school was an exercise in wishful
thinking. You may feel great about yourself, but youll have to prove your
talent to everyone else. The next four-year period is going to be a formative
time in your life.
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Choose your field of study thoughtfully while keeping your career goal in
mind. Some of your close friends might be naturally gifted with professional
athletic ability. They might seek their career in the NFL, the NBL, or some
other athletic field. Others may be good in medical science, nuclear physics,
carpentry. In most professions, you have what it takes to succeed, or you do
not. Hard work ultimately separates the successful from the unsuccessful, but
you have to start with the material that God gave you. The idea of timeless
ability and limitless choice is just a mirage.
So stop floating in dreamland. Figure out what youre truly good at and
where exactly your passion lies, and then go for it. If you fail to choose a
suitable field of study at the very start, even if youve been pursuing a certain
major for a time, dont hesitate to change your field of study if you are not
happy with what you are doing or learning. You may have to prolong your
college journey a little longer than you planned. However, it will be worth the
delay. Lifelong misery and unhappiness are worse than taking the time to find
and complete the area of study that is right for you. Go after what matches
your natural skills. This is where your passion lies.
While a commencement speech is filled with such banalities as The world
awaits you, Youre a special generation, Go save the planet, You have
what you need to get what you want, a matriculation speech challenges and
encourages, and its purpose is to set you in motion to prepare to earn that
passport.
We wish you smooth sailing. By the by, sailing offers a fitting metaphor.
Remember that the wind and waves are not under your control; however,
using all your sensitivity, skills, and the help and support that youre blessed
with. You can trim the sails and influence the direction by maneuvering the
tiller. You can direct the energy to stay on course by adjusting and devoting
your concerted attention to your field of study.
We wish you success and happiness!
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Mandakini Hiremath
SEPTEMBER 11, 2001

COLUMNS
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The 4th anniversary: 9/11 reflection

Sunday, September 11, 2005
The morning began as bright as any morning in late summer. But within a
few hours it turned into a day of annihilation of human innocence and trust.
The day was Tuesday, September 11, 2001. Nineteen terrorists had
hijacked four airplanes, crashed the Towers of World Trade Center, took out a
side of the pentagon, and maimed Pennsylvania countryside. The numbers
were astonishing: Terrorists had killed close to 3000 people.
I was tide up with back-to-back classes, so I didnt encounter any resources
like the Internet or television news. I had no time to talk with my colleagues to
realize the enormity and depth of the calamity.
I went home during the lunch break and was stunned by what I saw on
television, witnessing over and over the unthinkable attack on America. Every
channel had suspended regular programming to run the tapes and live
coverage of what had happened that morning: airing image after images of a
plane crashing into Tower 2 of the World Trade Center, people jumping
through the windows of the top floors, fires, fumes, smoke and debris and, on
the ground, scared, desperate people running around trying to find their
missing loved ones.
My daughter and her family from Rockville, Maryland, called to let me
know that they came home; all the federal offices were closed, as precaution
for security purpose. My son from Alexandria, Virginia, worked at a law firm
20 blocks away from the attacked wing of the Pentagon. When I telephoned
him, I was relieved to hear from him that he and his friends and their close
acquaintances were safe. I bowed my head in silence to thank the God
Almighty for his grace and returned to work without lunch.
In the evening, I watched the 6:30 news on NBC with Tom Brokaw. After
dinner and couple of hours of school work, I reached again for the remote
control. I didnt want to watch but couldnt stay away from it. I switched from
channel to channel. Then went to bed emotionally and physically fatigued.
After a few hours of unsound and dismal sleep, I woke up, walked like a
zombie to the den, and grabbed the remote again. As I turned on the TV, I
pushed the mute button to preserve quiet. Again, I watched powerful images:
a plane dashing again and again, damaged buildings, debris flying, and smoke
becoming an umbrella over the sight. The images flashed along with the
endless stream of news headlines running at the bottom of the screen.
The dreaded crawl at the bottom of the screen was getting on my nerves.
My heart started to experience thumps with the every dash of the plane. My
unvigilant mind thought it was happening all over again in other parts of the
country. I turned off the TV and went back to bed. Next morning, when I
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came to the right mind, I realized that at night, before turning off the TV,
while channel surfing, I had landed at the Fox network. Thus, it was the Fox
network rerunning tapes of the attacks.
At the time of crisis, its normal to feel personal loss and to turn to media
in search of information, meaning, word of comfort and solace. I am sure that
many in distress turned on their television in the middle of the night.
Fox news should have done better in serving its viewers, in soothing and
informing the nation by sending out positive messages to help keep spirits
high. That particularly powerful image of a plane crashing into Tower 2 of the
World Trade Center, which played during the day over and over again on
many television channels, made it real for us, more so than thousands of
words.
We didnt need the replays. The network should have stayed live, involved
the distressed viewers in talking about the situation, and focused on positive
aspects of humanity that took place at the sight.
I wouldve appreciated a soothing role on the part of the press in informing
the world that while America was experiencing a crisis, this was not the end.
The message shouldve been that there always is a sunrise in the womb of
every sunset.
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September 11, 2001, a day in my life

Saturday, September 9, 2006
The bright, late summer morning of September began as any normal

morning would have. Finishing three classes back to back, I walked back to
my office to leave my belongings. I ran into one of my students, Douglas Cox,
a junior business major. Instead of greeting me in his usual gracious way, he
just passed by me, nodding his head and mumbling, Theres going to be a
war. Theres going to be a war. Not understanding his mumbling, and
being in rush, I took the stairs, unlocked my office door, left my stuff on the
desk and briskly headed towards JTK auditorium to attend the matriculation
assembly. On the way by the H. V. Manning Library, I ran into the mass
communication faculty member, Dr. Ali Riaz. He asked me, Are we still
going to have the assembly? Not understanding clearly meaning of the word
still, I responded, Yes, as scheduled.
The auditorium was filled to its capacity. The administrators were stepping
on the podium to take their seats. While sitting down, I rolled my eyes around.
It seemed like the whole atmosphere was grim and shadowed by sadness.
There were neither smiles nor greetings. I had no idea why? The suspense
was killing me.
With President Henry N. Tisdales brief summation of what had happened
that morning, the University minister offered special prayers. Unaware of the
enormity and depth of the situation, I bowed my head to pray.
Nobody was in a mood to talk, so, as soon as the assembly was over, I got
into my car and drove home for lunch break. Stepping in, landing on the
couch, I picked up the remote to turn on the television. I could not believe
what I was watching. I switched channel to channel only to realize that every
channel had similar viewsthe images of a plane crashing into Tower 2 of
the World Trade Center, people jumping through the windows of the top
floors, fire, fumes, smoke, and on the ground people running around in
confusion and desperation. With an unbelievable shock and unbearable
sadness, I watched television for the next forty-five minutes.
The telephone rang. Hearing my daughters words from Maryland, Hey,
this is I. We all are ok. We just came home. All the federal offices are closed
for security purpose. Bowing my head in gratitude, I picked up the phone to
call my son. The law firm my son worked for was located 20 blocks away
from the Pentagon wing that was hit by the plane. When the phone on the
other end was picked up, I could hear lots of noise, talking, mixed with
television noise. When my son came to the phone and I heard, Hey, Mom! I
could not utter a single word. Knowing me well, he continued, I am ok,
Mom! I was not at work, yet. Today, I felt like avoiding early morning traffic
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rush, so I decided to work at home a few hours before getting on the road to
work. All my co-workers are ok. Several of my friends are here with me. We
are watching TV, trying to understand what has happened and supporting each
other. Uttering, Thank God! with much effort I told him that his sister was
at home with her husband and the baby.
Without lunch, I went back to work. I had one more class for the day at
2:00 p.m. When I walked into the class all the students asked in one voice,
Are we going to dismiss the class? I had not thought of it. However, I asked
them, What are you going to do if I dismiss the class? Are you going to
watch more TV? The answer was obvious. I said, Let us just talk. Many
of them started expressing fear of flying. One said, I will never step in any
plane to fly ever again. Another said, I wont ever be able to sleep soundly
ever again. If ever an airplane flies on my head, I would be worrying that if it
is going to hit my window or drop over my head. Unsuccessfully, I tried to
dismiss their fear by questioning the chance of happening it again. Then I
provoked a discussion about lifes uncertainty, living in faith and praying and
trusting in Gods grace. My students seemed a little solaced and more open to
discussion about the day. We talked about Gods Book of Life, how the time
for ending each ones life is predetermined by His will, so we should live in
faith. Referring to scriptures, Your faith has made you well, we came to
remind ourselves that unless it is his/her time, it wont happen, so we should
try to relax and take one day at a time and make the best of it.
The spiritual weapon proved mightier than the puny-minded terrorists
attack on civilians who were just on the way to work to make a living to feed
their children and to take care of their families. Thanks for the God
Almightys grace and our faith that strengthens us to endure lifes atrocities.
Spirituality, blind of race, religion, or sex, is triumphant in curing all the
disparity and fanaticism.
Though the bright day proceeded into murderous gloom, and devastation, I
was happy to end it on a promising note: There always is a sunrise in the
womb of every sunset.
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The 5th anniversary of 9/11

Monday, September 11, 2006
The day Tuesday, September 11, 2001, will be noted in history as a day of
annihilation of human innocence and trust. This day nineteen terrorists
hijacked four airplanes, crashed the Towers of World Trade Center, took out a
side of the Pentagon, and maimed the Pennsylvania countryside. The numbers
were astonishing: Terrorists had killed close to 3000 people.
Though five years have passed since that insensitive, inhuman attack, I
need neither a book nor a movie that depicts this tragedy to remind me of the
day. That days live television coverage did excellent work in showing the
viewers around the world what had happened that morning by repeatedly
flashing image after image of a plane crashing into Tower 2 of the World
Trade Center, people jumping through the windows of the top floors, fires,
fumes, debris and mountains of clouds of smoke, and on the ground
devastated people running around in confusion and desperation. The live
television had communicated successfully in an instant more than thousands
of words ever could. September 11, 2001, is a day that will forever be etched
on the minds and hearts of American citizens and people everywhere.
The terror did not stop after the 9/11 attacks; what followed were
additional objects of terror, anthrax, the smallpox virus, the shoe bomber,
suicide bombers, and the possibility of a dirty bomb and bio-chemical attacks.
In addition, terrorists occasional attacks in cities around the world have
continued. All have created quite a stir. These events have kept the entire
nation on alert. We have experienced the day of infamy in the 21st century.
We have an ongoing ordeal to live through. This generation has its burden to
bear: terrorism.
Since that attack, the nation has not been the same. Though time has
passed, the pain has not. Many are trying hard to learn to deal with the pain of
losing loved ones. There is tremendous hole, a tremendous sense of loss, even
for those who did not lose family members in this tragedy.
However, American resolve has defeated the obvious intent of the
terrorists. The terrorists intent is to keep us in a state of terror. Americans
have shown their readiness to make necessary sacrifices, demonstrated
courage, and patience with the wisdom of our predecessors weve banded
together as families, friends, neighbors, and members of the community to
defend and support each other. Because of this tragedy many have learned to
live in the present and are determined not to take anything for granted. They
express their feeling by letting their loved ones know how much they matter
and hugging them more often.
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We have emerged from this crisis as a stronger nation. We have not

stopped living our lives because of terror of what future will bring; instead, we
have learned to live with vigilance, humility, and faith in God Almighty, the
ultimate and supreme power of the universe. Our faith in goodness and
healing has strengthened our shaken foundation of life. As the Late Pope John
Paul II emphasized in a speech during his visit to Canada in July 2002,
Choose love over hate, for hatred and malice destroy the human race; choose
good over evil, for goodness always survives over evil. Having faith in
goodness transcends everything we know every defeat, every fear, and every
illness.
This is the day for the nation to memorialize and honor the victories of
9/11 and the heroes who sacrificed their lives while helping others out at the
Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and especially the passengers on Flight 93 who
fought to their death to slam the plane into Pennsylvania countryside (instead
of hitting another national symbol, may be the White House, or a thickly
populated area) to save other lives by sacrificing their own. This day we
should tell our children the stories of real American heroes and their resolve:
how everyone--policemen, firefighters, rescue workers, and civilians at the
site--was ready to make sacrifices, demonstrate courage, civic conduct, and
moral obligation with patience and compassion to defend and support each
other. In addition, we should acknowledge those who have gotten ill working
at ground zero and who have died and been injured while serving in our armed
forces. It is the day to remember our brave ones with gratitude and be proud
that we live in the land of free and the home of the brave. This is the day to
hoist proudly the American flag, light a candle, and observe a moment of
silence and bow to remember: There is sunrise in the womb of every sunset.
May the God Almighty be with us, protect us, and lead us in all our
endeavors.
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Depth of horror and height of heroism

September 10, 2007
I am sure many would like to forget that tragic day, Tuesday, September
11, 2001. Saying, Get over it, they would prefer to let it go unmentioned.
Get over it is easier said than done. We could let it go, if we could turn the
clock back to make that day disappear; if we could make stand erect those two
World Trade Center towers; if we could bring back all the lost lives and
restore the annihilated human innocence and trust. Since we cannot turn the
clock back to make that day disappear, we must not forget that days satanic
attacks and how the somber mood shadowed each human soul in the nation
and around the world.
Remembering the stories of the brave men and women who survived Pearl
Harbor, over 60 years ago, that dark chapter in American history has served as
an inspiration to all during times of national crisis. We must now make sure
that our children learn and never forget about this day: The day 19 terrorists
hijacked four airplanes, crashed into the towers of the World Trade Center,
took out a side of the Pentagon, and maimed the Pennsylvania countryside.
Terrorists killed close to 3,000 civilians.
Despite the scenes of devastation at the site, there were also scenes of hope
and compassion. Risking their lives, firefighters and volunteers took on the
task of rescuing people and taking them out of harms way. People showed
compassion, trying to help each other, standing in a circle at the site, they held
hands to pray and sing America the Beautiful, and the National Anthem.
The passengers and the crew on Flight 93 got on their cell phones to reach
their people on the ground, to explain what was happening to them, express
their love, and while saying goodbye, gathering information, learning about
the World Trade Center Towers and understanding that Flight 93 was on
suicide mission. They figured out their options and organized to fight back.
Though no one knows exactly what happened next, it is obvious that Flight 93
slammed into the Pennsylvania countryside. Had Flight 93 stayed aloft a few
seconds longer, it would have plowed into Shanksville-Stonycreek School and
its 501 students, grades K through 12. Instead, the plane smashed at 10:06
a.m. into a reclaimed section of an old coal strip mine. The largest pieces of
the plane were barely bigger than a telephone book. I just keep thinking 2
miles, said elementary principal Rosemarie Tipton. There but for the grace
of God two miles.
Certainly, the countryside couldnt have been the hijackers target. Those
terrorists failed because of our unwarned, unprepared, unarmed heroes who
taught by example to be proactive, to take preventative measures, instead of
just being alarmed at the crisis. Courage is not the absence of fear; its taking
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action in the face of it. We need to tell our children how great America is
because of her courageous sons and daughters that are ready to transform
themselves at the time of crisis within a heartbeat into solders to defend their
motherland.
American resolve has defeated the obvious intent of the terrorists. The
terrorists intent is to keep us in a state of terror. Americans have shown their
readiness to make necessary sacrifices, demonstrated courage and patience
with the wisdom of our predecessors. Weve banded together as families,
friends, neighbors and members of the community to defend and support each
other. Because of this tragedy, many have learned to live in the present,
express their feeling by letting their loved ones know how much they matter
and hugging them more often, and not taking anything for granted.
The families that suffered loss are uniting to keep alive the names and
qualities of individuals who, to them, were the most special persons in the
world. They dont want (Osama) bin Laden to have the last word. They are
determined to give their loved ones the last word. They are making all the
difference.
This tragedy has stirred the human spirit and forced many to reassess the
value of life and its meaning, and has inspired them with hope and courage by
kindling in them heroic spirit and patriotism. Here are just a couple of
examples: Matthew Mattie Ryan, Christopher Ganci and James Dowell
have become New York City firefighters after losing their dads in 9/11
tragedy. And Patti Quigley of Wellesley and Susan Retik of Needham decided
to reach beyond 9/11 and use the financial support they received afterward to
help war widows in Afghanistan, where al-Qaeda planners of the terrorist
strikes found harbor.
Ryans dad was a battalion chief, Gancis dad was chief of a department,
and Dowells dad was in New Yorks prestigious Rescue Squad Four. Prior to
their fathers tragic deaths, 16-year-old Dowell was in high school and Ryan
and Ganci were in business, making money.
Ryan recovered his fathers Irish Claddagh ring, which stands for
friendship, loyalty and love; Ganci has his dads old helmet and all Dowell
has left is a tool that belonged to his dad that was found in the wreckage. No
remains were recovered.
Things that were important are no longer important Your whole value
system changes I will never feel that innocent again, and now I look at life
through an entirely different way When I heard that the building collapsed,
I knew in my heart that he was in there, says Ryan.
My father, our fathers, they werent at the top of that building trying to
make a million dollars They were NYC firemen, you know? Never be rich
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and never be poor, they were just doing their job, and their job is to help
people, Dowell says.
Two Massachusetts widows Quigley and Retik, who were pregnant when
hijacked jets carrying their husbands crashed into the World Trade Center,
met after the attacks and have formed a friendship. After watching the
televised plight of Afghani women, they are making a difference in the lives
of Afghani war widows whose small houses have dirt floors and drapes for a
door. An Afghani mother, one of the recipients of their donations, who now
has a chicken farm that produces 10 eggs a day, recounts, The family eats
some of them, and I sell the rest to buy food and school supplies with the
money.
In addition, numerous people have forfeited their lucrative careers to
become soldiers to safeguard their country and have even made the ultimate
sacrifice by giving their life. These great heroes are teaching our children how
to be patriotic and embrace kindness and humanity even in the face of evil.
Thus, we have emerged from this crisis as a stronger nation. We have not
stopped living our lives because of terror of what the future will bring;
instead, we have learned to live with vigilance, humility and faith in God
Almighty, the ultimate and supreme power of the universe. We have made our
choice. Our faith in goodness has strengthened our shaken foundation of life,
and hence healing.
As John Paul II emphasized, Choose love over hate, for hatred and malice
destroy the human race; choose good over evil, for goodness always survives
over evil. Having faith in goodness transcends everything we know every
defeat, every fear and every illness.
Tuesday, September 11, 2001, will be recognized always for its depth of
horror and the height of heroism. This is the day to hoist the American flag,
light a candle and observe a moment of silence, instead of cursing the
darkness. This is the day for the nation to honor the victories of 9/11 and the
heroes who gave their lives while helping others out of the Twin Towers and
the Pentagon as well as those who have died or been injured while serving in
our armed forces and who have gotten ill after working at Ground Zero, and
those who are striving to make a difference. This is the day to be thankful and
proud that we live in the land of free and the home of the brave.
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September 11, 2001: Reflection on sad, good and ugly

September 10, 2008
On Tuesday, September 11, 2001, the sun rose as brightly as any morning
in late summer. But within a few hours the sun and the bright blue sky were
polluted and darkened by flashing fires, fumes, clouds of smoke and debris.
That morning, 19 terrorists had hijacked four airplanes, crashed the towers
of the World Trade Center, taken out a side of the Pentagon, and maimed the
Pennsylvania countryside. Astonishingly, terrorists had killed close to 3,000
civilians who were just on the way to work to make a living to feed their
children and to take care of their families.
At home and around the world, people were deeply saddened to watch on
television that powerful image of a plane crashing into Tower 2 of the World
Trade Center. The image played over and over again on many television
channels, making it real for us, more so than thousands of words. It was sad to
see the body of Father Mychal F. Judge being carried out of the rubble by a
policeman and four firefighters. Father Judges body bag was labeled Victim
0001, recognized as the first official victim of the 9/11 attacks.
Hearing the news that the World Trade Center had been hit by the hijacked
jetliners, Father Mychal, chaplain of the Fire Department of New York,
rushed to the site. There he met Mayor Rudolph Giuliani and was asked to
pray for the city and its victims. Father Mychal rushed to those lying on the
street to administer last rites. Then he entered the lobby of the WTC north
tower, where an emergency service command post was organized. When the
south tower collapsed, the debris filled the north tower lobby, killing many
inside, including Father Mychal. It was sad to see that scared people were
jumping through the windows of the top floors; on the ground, the view was
filled with terrible deaths, life-threatening injuries, overflowing sorrows.
Desperate people were running around trying to find their missing loved ones.
However, at the same time, it was good to see the civilians at the site,
though distraught, sad, and confused, were hugging, consoling and helping
each other. There were reassuring signs of hope.
The American flag, though tattered, was flying high; people at the site
stood in a circle, held hands, prayed and sang America the Beautiful, and
recited the Pledge of Allegiance. The firefighters, policemen and volunteers
risked their own lives, stood with a resolve of unsurpassed heroism to serve.
And, as we know, many sacrificed their lives without saying goodbye to their
loved ones. As the 9/11 attacks annihilated human innocence, everyone was
reminded that no one is invincible. Watching on TV this tragic, insensitive,
inhuman attack people everywhere mourned, offered help and banded together
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in increased harmony across the artificial boundaries of ethnicity, religion and

culture.
The public opined life would never be the same after this terrorist attack.
Many admit that, since these attacks, they have stopped taking life for granted;
they hug and tell their loved ones more often that they are loved and
cherished; they hoist the American flag and sing the national anthem with a
new pride. The families that suffered loss have united to keep alive the names
and qualities of individuals who, to them, were the most special people in the
world. They dont want (Osama) bin Laden to have the last word. They are
determined to give their loved ones the last word. They are making all the
difference.
President George W. Bush declared himself aggrieved and pledged not to
rest until those responsible were brought to justice. Six days after the events of
September 11, 2001, Osama bin Laden, who was understood to be in
Afghanistan at the time, was identified as the prime suspect in the attacks.
While addressing a joint session of Congress on Sept. 20, 2001, Bush issued
an ultimatum demanding that the Taliban government of Afghanistan
hand over the terrorists or they will share in their fate. Our war on terror
begins with al Qaeda. Receiving no positive response, the United States,
along with Canada and the United Kingdom, in response to the Sept. 11, 2001,
attacks, launched the war (Operation Enduring Freedom) on Oct. 7, 2001.
The stated purpose of the invasion was to capture Osama bin Laden,
destroy al-Qaeda and remove the Taliban regime that provided support and
safe harbor to al-Qaeda. Many Americans considered this war for a just cause.
Americans loved the presidents determination in exemplifying American
resolve and sending a message as to how America would react if anyone
attacked us. The president enjoyed his enhanced job-approval rating.
However, while still fighting the War on Terror in Afghanistan, President
Bush started the propaganda campaign to make people believe that Saddam
Hussein was behind the September 11 attacks and then shifted the rational to
the theme that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction to use directly
against the United States or to give to terrorists to produce more September
11ths on U.S. soil. Deferring the stated purpose, leaving a precarious and
urgent situation, which should have been the central front in our battle
against terrorism, George W. Bush, the commander in chief, made a decision
to invade Iraq in March 2003.
No WMDs have been found. Our nation is still at war and has been less
than successful in achieving the goal of restricting al-Qaedas movement;
Osama bin Laden is still at large; thousands of American lives have been lost,
and thousands more have been physically and mentally wounded; the federal
deficit has increased to $9 trillion. The American reputation is blemished, our
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economy is on the tipping point of disaster; whereas, billions of dollars are

being spent to reconstruct Iraq, which took billions of dollars to destroy.
Our economy is in an abyss not because of 9/11 but because of the way
matters were handled in the aftermath. Though Mr. Charley Reese writes,
when the twin towers were wrecked, the presidency of Bush was wrecked
along with them, I believe things started falling apart for the Bush presidency
since the day he diverted American resources from fighting al-Qaeda to
invading Iraq. The twin towers, though they stood tall with pride as a symbol
of our national trade, were man-made objects. Had the president handled the
matter with effective diplomacy, we would have defeated al-Qaeda, captured
Osama bin Laden and built superior monuments within a short time,
displaying American resolve to the world.
A while ago, I read an interesting blog posted by Betsy Hall from Los
Angeles. She wrote: I feel that America was ready to make sacrifices and that
important measures could have been taken. Think about what America did
during the Great Depression: We built schools, dams, bridges, power plants,
brought power and clean water to those without, built up the national parks,
created lasting art. In World War II, the nation was united in sacrifice:
serving in the military, buying War Bonds, saving scrap metal, and so on.
What have we been asked to do now? Go on vacation?
Keep traveling? Keep spending? The opportunity presented of a united
America ready for sacrifice has been squandered by leaders without any real
vision of what we could be. Our grief and outrage could have been and should
have been channeled into positive things to improve life in this country and
around the world. Instead, we were told to keep spending. This shows no
recognition of the fact that we needed to mourn our losses, we needed to have
something positive come out of our grief.
We must emerge from this crisis as a stronger nation. While hoping for the
better and wishing for the best, we should look forward to choosing an
efficient president in November. May the God Almightys grace lead the new
president and his cabinet in the right direction to turn around the situation for
the better.
September 11, 2001, was a day of infamy in the 21st century. We cannot
turn the clock back to make that day disappear. We dont have a magic wand
to make the Twin Towers stand erect, bring back the lives we lost and erase
the suffering caused by this senseless inhuman act and the aftermath of it.
However, we can try hard to ensure that this history is not repeated. This is the
day we memorialize and honor the victories of 9/11 and the heroes who
sacrificed their lives while helping others out of the Twin Towers, the
Pentagon, and on Flight 93, as well as those who died or have been injured
while serving in our armed forces, or suffering from illness due to working at
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ground zero. Its the day we honor their selfless acts and pledge to preserve
the legacy of their sacrifice for future generations. Its the day to be thankful
and proud that we live in the land of free and the home of the brave and
hoist the American flag, light a candle, and observe a moment of silence.
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September 11, 2001: A triumph of humanity

September 11, 2009
I thought last years Sept.11, 2001: Reflection on sad, good and ugly
would be my final column about 9/11. Considering the change in the
government administration and President Barack Obamas campaign promise
to improve American foreign relations, his renewed strategies for handling
terrorism and his first overseas trip as a president in that effort, I didnt see the
need of rehashing 9/11 memories.
However, watching the April 28 news broadcast of the commotion created
by the sight of the low-flying Boeing 747 speeding in the shadows of
skyscrapers, trailed by two fighter jets, how the sight startled New Yorkers,
prompted evacuations and reawakened barely dormant fears of a terrorist
attack convinced me that Get over it is easier said than done. Later the Air
Force confirmed that Air Force One trailed by two fighter jets soared above
Lower Manhattan, Staten Island and Jersey City so a government
photographer could take pictures near the Statue of Liberty for publicity
purposes. Still this incident stirred the horrific memories and the citizens
reactions exemplified how raw the emotions about that tragic day remain.
Our emotions may stay raw and every incident like this is going to stir that
horrible experience we have endured. We must now make sure that our
children learn and never forget about this day: The day 19 terrorists hijacked
four airplanes, crashed into the towers of the World Trade Center, took out a
side of the Pentagon and maimed the Pennsylvania countryside. Terrorists
killed close to 3,000 civilians. We must educate them how American heroes
have turned that tragedy into triumph by making a difference around the
world.
I have presented a plethora of examples in each 9/11 anniversary column to
support my viewpoint that American men and women have gone beyond and
above the call of duty to help others at home and around the world and have
waged a different kind of war to fight the evils of 9/11. Here are a couple
more examples. Teacher Marie Nevins of Campbell Hall lost her New York
City firefighter husband, Gerry, to the 2001 attacks on the World Trade
Center. He was assigned to Rescue 1 in Manhattan. As time passed and she
raised their sons, Mrs. Nevins saw other parents coping with catastrophic
losses.
Knowing the pressure of parenting, paying the bills and finding time to
grieve, Mrs. Nevins used the fiscal compensations she received to established
The Gerry Nevins not-for-profit foundation. Staffed solely by volunteers, the
foundation distributes all funds to eligible widows and widowers with
dependent children under 21 that reside in Rockland or Orange County to pay
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their rent or mortgage for three months. Mrs. Nevins estimates that the
foundation has distributed more than $125,000 since it was established in
2005. Thus she is keeping her beloved husband alive in spirit.
American Shannon Galpin, inspired by the triple effect of Greg Mortenson,
is waging her own battle for the soul of Afghanistan. Mortenson has been
building schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan for 15 years and has co-written a
best-seller titled, Three Cups of Tea. The book is about how his work has
changed remote village communities. Galpin says the book changed her life.
She believes that the war can only be won by educating women. She says
women in Afghanistan are in a form of enslavement; only 14 percent of the
women are educated. The military is not going to change the community long
term.
To serve this purpose, in 2007, Ms. Galpin, a 34-year-old sports trainer and
competitive mountain-biker from Breckenridge, Colorado, launched her own
non-profit called Mountain to Mountain to support Mortenson. She raised
over $100,000 to build two schools in Pakistan and funded development
projects in Nepal.
Shocked by the images and stories she saw and heard, recently she braved
Afghanistans most dangerous alleys and booby-trapped roads routes
seldom traveled by Westerners without heavy security. She rode on the back
of a dirt bike in search of Afghanistans most needy. She would not only try to
build schools for those with little chance of getting education but also try to
bring teachers and classrooms to those in need.
Americas towers have burned, but these unsung American heroes have
turned the tragedy into triumph. Exemplifying American strength, compassion
and sacrifice, they have risked their lives, put their own lives on hold and used
their fortunes to make a difference and by doing that they have inspired others
to follow them in such humanitarian deeds. If it werent for the Iraq war,
America, with unblemished reputation, would have stood at the top as a
humanitarian country around the world. A brief reemergence of former Vice
President Dick Cheney in the media couldnt help but remind us of his
deception about weapons of mass destruction. He still is presenting the same
old face, the same clichs and strategy, and is trying to divert us from what we
have chosen. We have learned to live with vigilance, contrary to his
expectations; he wants us to live in constant fear, the same old deception.
Sounds familiar?
The most searing images and stories of 9/11 were the tales of all those
people who managed to use a cell phone to call their loved ones to say a last
goodbye from a hijacked airplane or a burning tower. But think of the
thousands of others who never got a chance to say goodbye or a final I love
you. The uncertainty of life is recalled by these untimely deaths. Hug your
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loved ones and tell them how much they mean to you and how much you love
them and care for their wellbeing; if they are away from you, call them and
make sure that they get your message.
There was never a good war or a bad peace, reminds Benjamin Franklin.
And An eye for an eye would blind the world, cautions Mahatma Gandhi.
Here is a tiny anecdote: An art contest was announced; artists were
challenged to paint the best art representing peace. The judge liked two of the
presented paintings. One was of a calm lake, a perfect mirror, peaceful
mountains towering all around it with a blue sky overarched by fluffy white
clouds. The second picture had rugged and bare mountains. Above was an
angry sky from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side
of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This didnt look peaceful at all.
But looking closely, the judge noticed behind the waterfall a tiny bush
growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush, a mother bird had built her nest.
There in the midst of angry water and wild sky, sat in peace the mother bird
on her nest protecting her chick.
Guess which painting won. Peace does not mean an absence of noise,
trouble, or hard work. Peace means in the midst of all calamities keeping calm
in your own heart.
Benjamin Franklin wrote, Those who would give up essential liberty to
purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. We are
the ones held accountable to choose. And I hope we choose harmony over
discord and essential liberty over temporary safety.
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ELECTION AND POLITICS

COLUMNS
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In hopes of better tomorrows

November 1, 2004, the day before the election
Dont you think weve had enough of these negative ads, name-calling,
character bashing, mudslinging? I was content to watch a partial Democratic
National Convention that ran positively and was looking forward to the same
positive attitude for the Republican National Convention. But, unfortunately,
it took a 180-turn in the opposite direction. Subsequently, the Democratic
National Convention strategy was considered weak, so the party had to change
its strategy to compete with the opponents, deciding that only negativity
works.
This is campaigning time. Candidates approach us and show concern, ask
for our opinions and our votes. Our hands are shaken, and we are counted. A
baby is grabbed from its mothers arms and kissed, or even grabbed and just
shown to the public and handed back to its mother. Considering all this, one
might imagine himself being in a great pasture with friendly people.
Mr. Rinehart Chewning, The Times and Democrat columnist narrates a
story in his column, Cast your votes carefully. A dead person arrives at
heaven. St. Peter welcomes the soul and gives him a choice of hell or heaven
after the dead man spends 24 hours in each. In hell, he is excited to see a
green golf course; in the distance are club members playing friendly game of
golf, dining on a delicious entre. He is charmed by the devils friendliness,
singing and joking. More touched by the welcome, cheer and hugs of the
people, even from the devil in hell than by the serenity of contented souls in
heavens.
The dead man chooses hell.
Finally, when he arrives at his destination, he finds himself in the middle of
a barren land covered with waste and garbage and his friends dressed in rags,
picking up the trash and putting in black bags. He asks what happened. The
devil looks at him, smiles and says, Yesterday, we were campaigning. Today,
you voted for us.
The lesson here is cast your vote wisely this coming election. It doesnt
matter either Laura or Teresa occupies the White House for the next four
years. They are not the players in the most important political arena in the
country.
Kerry and Edwards, Bush and Cheney, have their boats and ranches and
planes, living like royalty from another era, writes columnist Joan Ryan in,
Gap widens between two Americas. The average American hopes, as Edwards
shows, what is possible in land of opportunity, and takes comfort in hearing
the candidates fierce concern for the working poor. While ordinary
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Americans leaf through the end-of-the- month bills, they wait for the talk to
turn into something they can take to the bank.
Away from the political correctness and partisan ads simply ask these
questions: Is our country proceeding on the right track? Are we better off than
we were four years ago? Given the opportunity to serve the country, has the
incumbent party kept its campaign promises made to get elected last term? Is
the country united? Are we, as a country, respected around the world? As our
brave men and women are fighting to preserve democracy for other, are we
treated democratically at home? I am sure our reflection on these issues and
answers to these questions will help us to make up our minds and provoke us
to vote using our own judgment in hopes of better tomorrows for us and for
our children.
Make a decision based on hope, not on fear. If we are not careful in making
the correct choice, we are going to be stuck with the results for the next four
years, and many wise folks have repeatedly told us if we dont vote, we have
no right to complain. We should be proud that even our children under 15 are
taking the election seriously and being actively involved. Nickelodeon kids
pick the president too.
Be proud, for we live in the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Cicero says, Liberty consists in the power of doing that which is permitted by
law. Our forefathers went through ordeals to achieve this lawful power for
us.
Let us honor their hard work and innumerable sacrifices by exercising our
civic duty independently. If we are not part of the solution, we may (though
many of my students have suggested I use the verb are, instead of may)
be part of the problem. The right to choose is a wonderful gift, and we need to
use it wisely. As parents its our responsibility to encourage our children in
this process by setting an example and showing that we value and are serious
about our choice.
Please vote and make our vote count. May the Election Day, Tuesday,
November 2, turn out to be a bright, sunny day for our country. Let us hope
that all ends well.
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Hats off to New Jersey Gov. J. Corzine

Friday, June 29, 2007
If you read newspapers or watch television news, you know that New
Jersey Governor John Corzine and his driver, Trooper Robert Rasinski, were
in an accident. Both were severely injured. Neither of them was wearing a
seatbelt. According to news reports, the trooper was driving the SUV 91 mph
while allegedly reading e-mails sent to his Blackberry. He was distracted.
The governor broke his left thigh in two places, broke 11 ribs, his
breastbone, collarbone, and a vertebra in his lower back. He was operated on
three times. A metal rod was placed to stabilize his leg. And he breathed with
a help of ventilator and got nutrition through a feeding tube for more than a
week.
Watching the news about the accident on television, one said, How
stupid!
Websters Dictionary defines stupid as slow-witted; unintelligent;
foolish; dull. We are told repeatedly: Stupid is what stupid does. For example,
being stupid is like going to fast-food restaurant, buying food and drink,
walking towards the car, leaving the drink on the cars top to get the door, get
in, and drive it away. In short, stupid is not lack of the faculty but not using it
thoroughly that is inherent.
However, we all know that we have had our share of those stupid moments
in our lives. As Albert Einstein wrote, Two things are infinite: the universe
and the human stupidity; and I am not sure about the universe. We all have
done things and blurted at one time or the other, How stupid of me.
Unfortunately, unanticipated situations do take place in life; however,
admitting the mistake, taking responsibility, paying the price, and standing to
make a positive difference do count. The most important point is what one
learns out of this stupid behavior. In such cases, the behavior is regarded as
constitutive of respecting.
As The Times and Democrats, the local daily newspaper, writes in its May
1 editorial, Respect shows in your demeanor, in your consideration of
feelings of others. Where you honor people and their ideas, look up to them.
You have good manners. are attentive and appreciative; put people on
pedestal. Respect means courtesy, thoughtfulness.
The Governor has started to make up for his mistake failing to wear a
seatbelt. He will use his own money to pay for his crash related medical
treatment. Respecting his loved ones, he says with regret, At times like these
nothing matters but the loved ones and the ones who care. In addition, he
started appearing in a public service commercial. Gaunt looking Governor
begins his appeal: I am New Jersey Gov. John Corzine, and I should be
dead. And then he goes on to describe how badly he was injured when the
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SUV he was riding in crashed at a speed 91 miles per hour. He praises the
doctor and warns others not to make his mistake. As every driver whoever
forgets to buckle up probably knows by now, Corzines disrespecting of the
basic auto-safety rule nearly cost him his life.
Gov. Corzine, a changed man after the crash, has earned his respect by
doing all the right things. Instead of using his wealth and power to influence
the respective authorities to suppress the evidential facts, he took the
responsibility and demonstrated his guilt for not obeying the law and
respecting his loved ones.
Its worth mentioning that if he werent rich and governor of the State,
Corzine might well be dead. The fact that he was governor of the state meant
that two troopers from a second car were on hand immediately to call for help
and some of New Jerseys medical superstars immediately scrambled to his
bedside; plus, since he is extremely wealthy, his family could call in some of
the best medical specialist from New York City.
The Governor is absolutely right. Whether rich or poor, governor or any
ordinary person, he would have been a lot better off if he had been wearing his
seat belt.
Be smart. Smart is the man who finds out the right way to move and then
gets going. It takes wise to learn from others experience. Traffic deaths in
state reach epidemic level. A vehicle is a form of transportation; eating,
putting on make-up, talking on a cell phone, putting in eye drops or contact
lenses, reading writing or typing while on the road, fighting with passenger,
separating or addressing fighting children while driving is dangerous. Learn
this valuable lesson from the governor and the trooper. Respect the law as you
drive that SUV, truck or car as it was intended. Buckle-up, respect the speed
limit, and proceed with caution.
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Prepare to vote
October 3, 2008
November 4 is approaching rapidly. And we have a chance to express our

discontent, approval or disapproval. Only after using the power of voting can
we anticipate better results. Register to vote by Saturday, October 4, 2008.
This election may be one of the most crucial of our time. Nov. 4, 2008 is the
day for us to take control of our nations destiny.
It is time to chart a new course, set our helm and sail against the wind to
restore Americas future and reassert the ideals of our forefathers. We must
act now not only for ourselves but also for our children and grandchildren.
President John F. Kennedy once said, My experience in government is that
when things are non-controversial and beautifully coordinated, there is not
much going on. Todays political situation is nothing but controversial and
chaotic. I wonder what made the country, which stood so united after 9/11, so
divided. President Bush names current economic crisis financial adjustment;
whereas, news media reports 9/11 of economy, economic tsunami,
economic meltdown.
Although we have heard, When ignorance is bliss, its folly to be wise,
this is not the time to be ignorant. If we dont stay informed, we may be
unwisely influenced and led astray. Ignorance leads to foolish behavior and
terrible consequences. Four years ago, in 2004, a newspaper editorial advised:
The nation is in crisis, and we do not advise change in leadership. The
unchanged leadership has not helped to better the situation. We are much
worse off than we were four years ago. The current administrations lack of
foresight, intelligence, and common sense has resulted in a downhill slide.
Not only is our nation drowning in debt, but, as a country, we are much
less respected among the global community. The rich, greedy, and corrupt
leadership of the corporations that are living and will continue to live in the
lap of luxury are the ones being bailed out at the expense of their employees
and taxpayers. In contrast, average working citizens, worried and poorer, are
struggling to fill gas tanks, so they can go to work (if they are still employed),
to put food on the table, and desperately trying to keep their homes from
foreclosure. Housing, healthcare, and retirement are all in jeopardy. While,
young Americans are dying in the sands of Iraq and the mountains of
Afghanistan, our nation is being torn apart by doubt and made weak
economically. It is clear that the more urgent threats facing the United States
are not homosexual marriages or legal abortions.
This senior citizen I ran into Wal-Mart said, Look at the price of a box of
popping corn! How much it has gone up. She added, While watching TV, I
used to munch on a few morsels of popcorn, but I dont think I can afford it
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anymore. As prices are going up and up, my money is going down and down.
She mumbled lingeringly and walked away without purchasing it. (By the
way, the box of popping corn was priced $2.50.)
Its very disturbing to see our citizens deprived of basic needs: food,
shelter, healthcare, etc. They have worked hard throughout their lives and are
well-deserved to relax and live with dignity and peace in their senior years.
While most Americans are worried sick and leafing through end-of-month
bills, ironically, our current administration has been spending billions of
dollars to rebuild Iraq, which took billions of dollars to destroy. Iraq has
surplus money, now. We must think and act responsibly to help elect the
leadership that is going to work on to improve the present dire situation.
Hardworking people do not expect to live in luxury, but they certainly deserve
some comfort in their lives and a nation which is better respected worldwide.
As experts advise, we should start bringing our troops home from the farflung corners of the world, establish a sensible self-defense posture and use
the billions of dollars we would save to tackle all the really serious domestic
problems we have. We need a president who will make decisions based on the
best interests of the United States.
If we do not make the right choices, we are going to add another four
years which may compound the problems of the previous eight years. If we do
not vote, we have no right to complain. Our founders laid a strong, wise, and
basic framework so that our voices could be heard. Let us proudly honor them
and ourselves by responsibly exercising our civic duty to vote wisely.
Its time to focus our attention on issues the economy, wars in Iraq and
Afghanistan, affordable health care, energy and the environment.
A man is a product of his thoughts and actions. Think wisely and act
prudently and promptly. Register to vote. If you have already registered, make
sure that your voter registration information is current. If your name or place
of residence has changed, or if you havent voted recently, you need to update
your information at your county voter registration office before or by October
4, 2008.
The cost of freedom is always high, but the Americans have always paid
it. And one path we shall never choose, and that is the path of surrender or
submission, said the late President Kennedy. Now its our duty to secure that
freedom. Our predecessors have earned it for us. Again, register to vote and
look forward to exercising our civic duty on November 4, 2008 in hopes of
better tomorrows for us and our country!
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Get out and vote

November 2, 2008, the day before the election
Finally, one of the most important days in American (perhaps world)

history has arrived. On Tuesday, Nov. 4, American citizens vote to elect the
president and choose their statesmen to lead the country that has been left in
such an unprecedented mess.
The burden is on citizens that we make the right choice, for if we are not
careful in making the right choice, we are going to be stuck for at least four
more years in the mess President Bush and his administration have created.
It is obvious that however hard Sen. John McCain, maverick or not, tries to
separate himself from Bush and his lame-duck administration, he fails to
rewrite his partys playbook. He chose Sarah Palin as his running mate (in
hopes of reaching out to Sen. Clintons disgruntled supporters and social
conservatives), in spite of his ideological differences with her. His choice
exhibits his weakness in being an effectively prudent leader, since he can
neither separate himself from the failed policies of the Bush administration
nor stick to his ideologies. Sarah Palin, the hockey mom, a small town
mayor and Alaska governor, proves to be an inexperienced, controversial,
polarizing and clueless candidate.
Its a pity that in such a crucial period, Ms. Palin has to waste her time in
defending herself against her new expensive wardrobe instead of using the
precious time just before an election to let the American public know how she
is going to make a difference while filling the second most important office in
the country.
Certainly, wearing her $150,000 worth of new clothing provided by the
Republican National Committee, she looks good, but that is only until she
opens her mouth to display her ignorance, hate and to smear opponents.
However, we must keep in mind that the race for the White House is not a
beauty pageant.
We are much worse off than we were four years ago. Eighty percent of
Americans believe the country is headed in the wrong direction. President
Bushs popularity has sunk to the bottom in part because he misled his people.
Under false pretext, he dragged the nation into the Iraq war. The current
administrations lack of foresight, intelligence and common sense, not to
forget honesty, has resulted in a downhill slide. We need statesmen with
substance to clean up the mess that has accumulated. To turn the leaf over, we
desperately need a change in administration that paves the way to a better,
brighter future.
A Harvard Law graduate, who was also an editor of the Harvard Law
Review, Obama is a well-regarded constitutional scholar. He has 8 years of
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experience as a state legislator and another four years as a U.S. legislator, a

total of 12 years of experience in elected offices more than Ronald Reagan
(eight years) and George W. Bush (six years).
The public has called Obama, a paradigm shifter and a visionary leader.
In stark contrast to the massive failures of a GOP world view and the historic
damage done to Americas reputation, Barack Obama indeed has inspired not
only our young generation but also many thoughtful people who have the
countrys best interest in their heart and have served her faithfully and
patriotically.
Its noteworthy that lifelong Republicans, Colin Powell, who was President
Bushs first secretary of state, Susan Eisenhower, granddaughter of two-term
President Eisenhower, and Julie Nixon Eisenhower, daughter of a Republican
president, married to Dwight David Eisenhower II, grandson of another
Republican president, have endorsed Obama.
Obamas message contains the right amount of moral outrage that
resonates with Americans who recognize the damage done to the country in
recent years. He has optimistically shared his views from the economy to
education and from terrorism to taxes, including his believable vision of
repairing America to its former glorious days.
He represents a refreshing change for better brighter tomorrows.
Our American citizens duty and right is to get out and vote and be proud that
we have done our part by casting our vote thoughtfully in hopes of better
tomorrows. If we fail to cast our vote, our complaints and discontent will be
nothing but a disgruntled rambling.
Get out and vote is the key message here!
May the Election Day turn out to be bright and sunny for our country. Let us
hope that all ends well.
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Serving for the greater good

Do you ever wonder why anyone runs for public office anymore? I always
do. Its not a walk in the park for anyone, however tough and ambitious he or
she may be. Their commitment, tenacity, perseverance and preparedness for
their laundry being open to the public are tremendously awe inspiring to
me.
The trials and tribulations candidates go through while campaigning are
not for the fainthearted. Again, if it werent their passion they pursue, these
folks definitely can do a lot better financially and with their private lives. We
should appreciate these leaders sacrifices as they serve the nation.
In addition, even after withstanding every ordeal, while running a long
hard campaign, and winning the seat they have run for, their hardships dont
end. Instead, their hard work begins and intensifies as they start working to
fulfill their campaign promises. Notice that its been only about 200 days and
President Barack Obamas hair is already turning white.
Seems like there are some who are pleased with nothing Obama does. Lets
consider particularly health care. A professional, paid propagandist, somebody
like Betsy McCaughey, invents a lie as brazen as so-called death panels out
of nowhere. Then after her death panel falsehood gets amplified by figures
like Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, and Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley.
And if this wasnt enough, what is most saddening is to see this creepy
little cult proliferating posters on town halls and street corners showing
Obama as Adolph Hitler. And not to be forgotten are the swastikas spray
painted on one congressmans sign outside of his office. Disfiguring Obamas
portrait with a superficial Hitler moustache and calling him a communist,
these propagandists have surpassed their limits. Their acts show how
helplessly desperate they are to disfigure the real picture by hook or crook. Its
a sign that these accusations have gone completely unhinged. Its offensive
and demeaning for the country to equate a democratically elected president of
the United States in any way, shape or form to dictators who murdered
millions of people in their name.
Seems like people have lost any sense of perspective about this debate.
Some are treating it as a political theater. This is way over the line, and its got
to stop. This is not partisan points scoring. This is running down America,
displaying malice and ignorance. The country must come together and get its
wits back, behave rationally and conscientiously to discard and put an end to
the cheap tactics of fear mongering, polarizing people in American politics.
Health care reform is needed badly. Skyrocketing health care costs have
taken a toll on American families. Many are suffering either because they
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cant afford insurance or because what they have is not efficient. Most of the
noisemakers do not fit into either category. And those who need it badly are
busy going to work, putting food on the table and taking day-to-day care of
their family. Debate is fine, but it should be done with words candidly and
cordially aiming to educate the taxpayers, not play the crazy town cranks.
Obama made his campaign promises. We elected him. Now he is working
diligently to fulfill those. He, thankfully, is bringing much-needed overdue
change to Washington and is dedicated to repairing the broken system. Its our
duty that we study it individually, without any influence of propagandists, and
support the worthy cause.
Meanwhile, some folks are actually trying to do something to help. Here is
one example: Dr. Nick Spirtos, director of the Womens Cancer Center of
Nevada, has set up a special little space to help to treat underinsured patients.
When the outpatient cancer center at the county hospital was closed down
earlier this year because of state budget cuts, Spirtos converted his storage
area into a chemotherapy room.
One of the patients who profited was 28-year-old Christina Aguilar. Her
mother died of cancer when she was 18. Now she has advanced-stage ovarian
cancer. She has nowhere to turn; her insurance doesnt cover chemotherapy,
and she makes a little bit too much money to be qualified for Medicaid.
Cashier at a Toys R Us, Christina makes $8.76 an hour. However, she is one
among the people who have been working and supporting the system, but
doesnt fit in any of the holes.
Spirtos created a place for them to fit in. He convinced his partners to take
on the patients pro bono. Then they arranged for Clark County to pay for
expensive chemotherapy drugs.
If Christina were not able to come there, over time, her cancer would have
progressed and she would have passed away, says Dr. Spirtos candidly.
The good news for the chemo closet crew is by next year, the University
Medical Center and the Nevada Cancer Institute will bring back the outpatient
oncology service after receiving a $3 million donation.
Fortunately, these kinds of deeds have been taking place in every part of
our nation. You may remember reading in The Times and Democrat about the
new clinic opened in Orangeburg on Holly Street. It runs on voluntary
services to serve those who cannot get care elsewhere. Thank God for all these
good people who are generously and thoughtfully serving their community in
need.
May God bless the leaders who are committed to serve their nation for the
sake of the greater good of all. Lest we forget, its hard to please all.
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Matters of the hearts

Friday, February 5, 2010
We all watched the media circus when South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford
went missing. Returning on June 24, 2009, a tearful Sanford publicly admitted
he had been unfaithful to his wife and apologized to his wife, four sons,
supporters and constituents.
What a hypocrite! I thought as I recalled him declaring Clintons
philandering reprehensible and voting for impeachment following the
Lewinsky scandal.
The very next day, an elderly female asked, Honey, are you going to write
about the governor who cheated on his wife and wasnt there for his children
on Fathers Day? Startled by such an out-of-the-blue approach, I mumbled,
I dont think so! Whats new? One more politician comes out to confess his
transgression.
Later again at the wide-ranging emotional interviews with the AP, when
Sanford said he would die knowing that I had met my soul mate and also
admitted that he crossed the lines with a handful of other women during 20year marriage, I ran into another elderly female saying, Sweetheart, each
time the governor opens his mouth, he digs his grave deeper. I would be
interested to see how you put it together in writing. Hesitantly I responded, I
havent given it much thought. This is not the first man to cheat and certainly
is not going to be the last.
Then during Sanfords visit to Orangeburg in December, Sanford stopped
briefly at Claflin University to speak to a news reporting class. I attended the
conference. While talking about a number of issues, the governor mentioned
the start of his political career, running for Congress, how he asked his wife to
be his campaign manager, how she, with two small children, ran his campaign
ably. As he talked about his wife, his affection and respect for her were
obvious. Calling his actions selfish, he repeatedly said, I actually failed in
a moral sense I morally failed everyone, you know. As I listened to his
entire address, I came to believe that he is genuinely sad for hurting his wife.
As I pondered a little, I realized there were quite a few unprecedented matters
in this case. First, the Georgetown-educated former Wall Street vice president
Jenny Sanford didnt stand by her shamed husband as he confessed his
transgression. Second, to my knowledge, no transgressing politician has ever
openly called the other woman his soul mate and sought his wifes consent
to visit his lover. Third, this Argentine woman in Sanfords life hasnt come
out to feed the media frenzy with lustful details, like the other women
involved in illicit flings. Though The State, local daily newspaper, Columbia,
SC, earlier had published e-mails (a private intimate matter, but an
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unfortunate cost a public officer must pay) between Sanford and a woman
only identified as Maria, she was a stranger, until on June 25, a Buenos
Aires newspaper identified her as Mara Belen Chapur, a 43-year-old divorced
mother of two with a university degree in international relations who lives in
the city of Buenos Aires and works as a commodity broker.
Hastily, after Sanford admitted his infidelity, Mrs. Sanford released a
statement saying that while her husband showed lack of judgment, his far
more egregious offenses were committed against God, the institutions of
marriage and family, our boys and me. While she said she and her husband
were working on their marriage, she defiantly told Vogue magazine their
relationship didnt begin with passionate attraction and that he was
having a midlife crisis. Hurt and humiliated Jenny Sanford, rebuffing her
husbands efforts at reconciliation, moved on quickly from shadow to
limelight and out of the Governors Mansion with their sons to the family
home on Sullivans Island. Her memoir, Staying True, said to be about
grappling with her husbands marital infidelity and maintaining integrity and a
sense of self during lifes difficult times, is to be released by Ballantine
Books. Appearing on a Barbara Walters special on ABC as one of the 10
Most Fascinating People of 2009, she said staunchly, Certainly his actions
hurt me, but they dont in any way take away my own self-esteem. They
reflect poorly on him. She has set up a privately financed personal Website,
complete with news releases and photographs, and has applied to trademark
her own name in order to sell clothing, mugs and other items. While some
believe she may run for office, her immediate response is, Right now Im
focused on my family and the future of my children.
On the other hand, two-term Gov. Sanford wrecked his chance of being
considered as a potential candidate for the 2012 GOP presidential ticket. He
also resigned as chairman of the Republican Governors Association. The
contract for publishing his second book, titled Within Our Means, is
terminated. And he has asked a judge to OK his wifes divorce request.
Obviously, no man is powerful enough to be invincible. At the end of the
day, after playing every game skillfully in the field of business, politics, he
must go home to be himself with his family. But here the hearts and home are
broken irreparably, as his life has gotten messy.
Who is to blame here? Is it the wife Jenny, who stood by him through thick
and thin, invested 20 years of her life to promote her husbands ambition, to
see his career thrive but refused to condone her husbands indulgence? Is it
the lover Maria, who fell for a married man and writes in her e-mail,
Sometimes you dont choose things, they just happen? Or is it the husband
Mark, who was tortured by a midlife crisis, found his soul mate and says,
Im weak and at times all too human?
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Here is a no-win situation. Everyone involved in this matter is badly hurt.

Life is COMPLICATED. Everything does not work out as planned. The hurt
children may become sympathetic toward their dad eventually, especially as
they experience complicated matters of the heart and the twists and turns life
takes. Here, there is no going back; only moving forward to find a way to live
with as much contentment as possible, while retaining sanity by respecting
each other. The governor may always love and respect his wife, but its never
going to be as it was before.
The governors advice to the younger generation has always been, though
in a different context, follow your heart; follow your dream. Dont try to live
somebody elses dream. Mentioning Teddy Roosevelt and The Arena of
Life, he talked about how life belongs to a person who drops into that arena.
He urged students to drop into the arena of life and not to play safe. He said
that we all do great things in life to avoid failing or to avoid looking stupid in
front of others. You are going to wake up one day and are going to have
compelling feelings. Put yourself out there at risk because when you are at
risk, you are really growing and are really living, he advised.
Now, its time for Sanford to apply that advice to his own life and dare to
follow his heart to dream and be happy. As he writes to Maria, You have
my heart, obviously, she is the object of his passion. This relationship is not
an overnight fling; its taken time to reach its depth. And real love does
require sacrifice.
The governors second term comes to an end in 10 months. As a private citizen,
away from any public obligation, Sanford can invest in things that truly
matter, be at home with his Soul-mate Sweetest Maria (if the passion
still exists and both are willing to commit) and live happily ever after. Life is
too short to waste it.
*****
I received number of phone calls, e-mails, and in person comments. A couple of them opined
that I treated Sanford sympathetically. And below are just a couple of others:
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Mandakini Hiremath
Barack Obama, a superman?

Monday, Nov. 5, 2012, the day before the election
Barack Obama took oath as the 44th President of the United States on
Tuesday, January 20, 2009. The country was in such an unprecedented mess.
With the world economy in crisis, banks freefalling, the housing and auto
industries gasping, Wall Street greeted the new U.S. president with its worst
inauguration day ever.
I ended up joining a group of citizens watching the ceremony played on a
publicly displayed television. I vividly remember that day when Obama
placed his hand on the Bible. Two senior citizens who looked like twin sisters
were standing close to me in a group, wiped their tears, and nodded their
heads, as one whispered, God bless this young man. There is not a thing to
envy about his situation. He has hills to climb and oceans to swim to appease
the voters and establish stability. (The facts: George W. Bush inherited from
the Clinton administration a $236 billion budget surplus in 2001. When the
Bush administration left office, it handed President Obama a $1.3 trillion
deficit and projected shortfalls of $8 trillion for the next decade. During 8
years in office, the Bush administration passed two major tax cuts skewed to
the wealthiest Americans, enacted a costly Medicare prescription-drug benefit
and waged two wars, without paying for any of it. Reportedly the Bush
administration added more debt in its eight years than all the previous
administrations in the history of our republic combined. And as a country, we
had lost respect among the global community.)
President Obamas enthusiastic inaugural address called for "new era of
responsibility. He optimistically shared his views from the economy to
education and from terrorism to taxes, including his believable vision of
returning America to its former glorious days. He said, the challenges we
face are real They are serious, and they are many. They will not be met
easily or in a short span of time. But know this America: They will be met
The elections were over. Obama hoped political parties would unite and work
together cordially in bettering the overall blemished situation. In the wake of
George W. Bushs epic incompetence, Obama offered peace, prosperity and
good vibes. He said that he would cut taxes for middle-class families and for
small businesses, end the war in Iraq, refocus attention on those who actually
attacked us on 9/11, put in place health care reform, rein in the excesses of
Wall Street, and repeal the ban on gays serving openly in the military. He has
fulfilled all his promises, including that Osama bin Laden is dead, and as a
country, we have regained respect among the global community.
Now, what are the Republicans bashing Obama for: the stimulus, bailout,
and healthcare? First, ask Republican politicians, including a fiscal
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conservative and critic of federal handouts Paul Ryan, who voted against the
stimulus supposedly on grounds of principle and then sought millions of
dollars funding for their constituents writing, "Carrollton's project will create
jobs, stimulate the economy, improve regional mobility and reduce
pollution. It has the potential to attract industryand move goods through
areas underserved by national highways." (Ryan admitted while debating with
Biden, when asked by Moderator Martha Raddatz, that he asked for funding
twice.) Further, the stimulus package provided a modest tax cut for many
people and enabled state and local governments to avoid layoffs of teachers
and health care workers. As for the second reproach, Obamas bailout risk has
paid off. Nearly a year after the federal rescue of the nations biggest banks,
they have fully repaid their obligations to the government; taxpayers made
profits of about $4 billion, reported The New York Times. And Chrysler is
gratefully paying back its government loan. GM blue collar workers are
receiving profit-sharing checks. The plant is turning out 800 cars a day and
employing 2,200 people. GM plans to invest $2 billion in the United States,
preserving or creating 4,000 jobs at 17 facilities in eight states. The
company claims to have invested another $3.4 billion since mid-2009. And
finally, Obama successfully installed health care reform, after several U.S.
Presidents struggled for nearly a century with the complicated politics of
health care reform and universal health insurance. I recall a few years ago a
single mother of three crying desperately when her second son turned 19;
How in the world they think that a 19 or 20-year-old are able to provide for
their health care; what should I choose: feed, educate, or provide health
care? Now under Obama Care, the law allows young people to stay on their
parents insurance until age 26, and everyone should be able to get affordable
insurance, regardless of preexisting condition. Thus, evidently what Obama
did is investing, not wasteful spending.
Now what do we know about Mr. Mitt Romney? He has investments in the
Cayman Islands, Bermuda, and a Swiss Bank account, his wife drives "a
couple of Cadillacs," the new car elevator is being installed in their California
mansion. Mitt Romneys involvement with Bain Capital from post-1999 raises
lots of questions and concerns about his ethics: He shipped jobs overseas and
got tax breaks for it, invested in a company, bankrupted it, laid off the
workers, stripped away their pensions; and he still made money. All this could
have been cleared up, if he had simply released income tax returns for those
years. Asked by Good Morning America news anchor the reason for not
releasing tax returns, Mrs. Romney responded, Because so many things that
will be open again to attack. You don't want to give more material for more
attack....
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Mandakini Hiremath
Governor Romney makes $20 million a year and pays a lower tax rate than
somebody making $50,000 a year. When asked on the 60 Minutes about
fairness he responded, Yes, I think that's fair.that's what grows the
economy. Romney wants to create jobs by cutting taxes for all businesses.
He fails to understand businessmen don't hire workers because they have more
money in their pockets; they hire only when they have an increase in
customers. Businesses flourish only when the middle class gets the break.
Behind closed doors, Romney said, 47 percent of the country considers
themselves victims who refuse personal responsibility. He was talking about
lower income folks who are working hard every day, paying payroll and other
taxes and those on Social Security. And he plans to make Bush tax cuts for the
wealthy permanent. While Romney talks about reducing the deficit, his allies
in Congress wasted 80 hours voting 33 times on ONE thing, repeal all or part
of the health care law, knowing that the action is meaningless because the
Senate would never go along. To operate the House of Representatives costs
the U.S. millions of dollars a week, as reported by the Congressional Research
Service. What a waste of taxpayers hard-earned dollars! With the tax cuts,
Romneys overall plan makes the deficit grow, not shrink. And remember, he
(knowing aged people need more medical attention and financial support)
proposes turning Medicare into a voucher program and privatizing Social
Security, which President Bush tried and failed to accomplish.
The economy is improving and is moving in the right direction, much
better than when Obama took the oath of office. Anyone without a political
agenda would see that the profound disorder left by the Bush administration is
bound to take time to resolve, considering the Republicans rivalry. Obama
has no magic wand to wave and set instantaneously everything right, nor can
he leap tallest buildings in a single bound, faster than a speeding bullet like
Superman. But again who can?
Remember when you cast a vote for Obama, you are voting for education,
for ending the war in Afghanistan, investment in technology, the environment
and most importantly Social Security and Medicare. Without education the
country can never progress. President Obama is moving Forward in the right
direction. His agenda is to work to set things right that are good for the
country.
A second term will present President Obama the opportunity to complete
his mission.
Remember, it is the duty of every eligible citizen to get out and vote. Tuesday,
Nov. 6, i.e. tomorrow, is the Election Day.
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DASHERA
DEEPAVALI
AND
FAITH AND FESTIVALS

COLUMNS
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Mandakini Hiremath
Hindu festivals celebrate victory of goodness over evil

Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Though autumn (September, October, and November) on the Hindu (lunar)

calendar is packed with festivals, Dashera and Diwali are the most widely
observed of them. It is a season full of communal festivities. In India, many
schools are on vacation during this period in order to celebrate DasheraDiwali festivals. These festivals mark the victory of good over evil and bring
glowing happiness and a touch of sparkle all around. This is an occasion to
exchange sweets, gifts, and messages of good will with families, friends, and
colleagues and to share good fortune with those who are less fortunate.
First, Dashera, a ten-day festival, begins the day after the new moon in the
month of Asvija (mid-September through mid-October). Navaratri means
(nava means nine and ratri means night) nine nights. Rama worships
Durga, goddess of power and success, as he fights a fierce battle for nine days
with Ravana, the demon king, to free Sita, who was deceitfully abducted by
the demon king out of devilish lust and greed. Ravana was slain on the tenth
day. (Rama introduced the present day Durga puja, worship. The worship of
God in the aspect of Divine Mother has its origin in the matriarchal society of
ancient times. Even though, with the progress of civilization, it was replaced
by the patriarchal system, with the father recognized as head of the family unit
and the establishment of the fatherhood of God, mother worship continued to
persist, since this concept was psychologically more appealing to the devotee,
the mother being the nearest in filial affection to the child. Subsequently, a
synthetic harmony between motherhood and fatherhood was developed in the
Hindu religion. People worship Uma and Maheshwar, Lakshmi and Narayan,
Sita and Ram, Radha and Krishna, etc., together. The Divine Mother is
worshiped for strength, for she is manifested as a creative aspect of the
Absolute and symbolized as a cosmic Energy.)
Another legend associated with Dashera concerns the existence of the
goddess Durga and her beheading a very powerful demon, Mahishasura (one
who could assume the shape of a buffalo). Hence, in many parts of India, the
story of Rama (Ramayana) is enacted as Ramlila for a month prior to Dashera,
and an effigy of Ravana is burned on the tenth (Dashera) day. Throughout
these days oil lamps are burned. It is believed that Durga, along with her four
children, visits earth during this ten-day period. Clay or papier-mache images
of Durga slaying the demon Mahishasura while riding a lion are decorated
with silk saris and jewels for public display and worship. On the tenth day, the
images are immersed in a river, symbolizing the return of Durga and her
children to Lord Shiva, her husband.
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God as Divine Mother manifests in three main forms: Durga or Kali,

Lakshmi, and Saraswati; the symbolic forms, respectively, are darkness or
night, dawn--golden early morning, and sunrise. The understanding is Divine
Mother, as Kali or Durga, destroys the darkness within us and guides us to the
next manifestation, Lakshmi, for prosperity and success, and then ultimately
to Saraswati, for knowledge of peace and freedom. Therefore, believers
worship Durga for the first three days, Lakshmi for the next three days, and
Saraswati for the last three days; on the tenth day, Dashera is filled with bright
lights, supreme peace, and rejoicing.
Second, Diwali is traditionally celebrated for five days. It begins on the
thirteenth day of the dark fortnight in the month of Krittika (mid-October
through mid-November). Deepavali (deep means light and avali means a
row) is celebrated by Indians on a grand scale as a festival of lights,
signifying the advent of joy and happiness in India and all over the world.
When darkness unfolds at dusk during this festival, one can see a spectacular
illumination produced by tiny flickering earthenware lamps (in certain areas
earthenware lamps have been replaced, for convenience and safety, by
candles, oil lamps, and/or electric lights) adorning rows of homes, buildings
and streets in every town and village. Both young and old enthusiastically set
off multicolored noisy firecrackers.
Diwali is associated with several legends and practices in different parts of
India, including the descent to earth in darkness of the souls and spirits of
forefathers to bless their progeny and their return to their resting place in the
bright lights; the Lords Krishna and Ramas triumphant return after
vanquishing the demon kings Narakasura and Ravana; the coronation of Sri
Rama; and Batu Vaamanas damning of Bali, king of the netherlands, etc.
Every facility is cleaned, well lit, and adorned, the entire surroundings are
sanctified, and the entrances are made colorful with the traditional motifs of
Rangoli so that these triumphant authorities that bestow wealth, prosperity,
success, and peace may be welcomed; in addition, special worship is
performed and prayers are offered to Lord Ganesha, the giver of success and
the remover of all obstacles, and Mata Lakshmi, goddess of wealth and
prosperity. She represents the inner wealth, the capacity of man to distinguish
the real from the unreal, the eternal from the ephemeral, the imperishable from
the perishable, and the capacity for love, kindness and compassion. Lamps are
kept burning all through the night, on the inside for worship purposes and on
the outside to drive away the shadows of evil spirits. Traditional sweets are
offered, and devotional songs (Bhajanas) are sung, since these days are
considered auspicious.
Each year children and adults alike joyously anticipate Diwali. For
children, this holiday may mean new clothing, friends and relatives around for
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traditional dessert-filled meals, firecrackers, and revisiting the legends of

gods, specifically, the powerful heroes who destroy demons. For them this is
the occasion to celebrate the victory of good over evil and to acknowledge
that ultimately good prevails over evil. For adults, in addition to the joy and
festivity of the occasion, this holiday may bring a deeper insight. It may help a
seeker to renew his life as he or she seeks a deeper meaning in life.
The legends tell about Narakasura, who stands as an intolerable menace to
saintly persons; he loots and plunders, mercilessly carrying away 16,000
damsels and imprisoning them in his harem. Lord Krishna empowers
Satyabhama, his wife, to behead the demon king Narakasura, since the
prediction was that the demon king would be slain by a woman. Bhudevi,
Mother Earth, mother of the slain Narakasura, becomes reconciled to her loss,
knowing that the Lord has punished her son for the sake of the world. She sets
a glowing example of how one must brush aside his or her personal joys and
sorrows in the interest of society, requesting that the day of her sons
beheading be jubilantly celebrated. The 16,000 damsels represent the desires
that arise in an egoistic man. Therefore, as the demon is killed, the damsels
are freed. It is this deliverance of the people from the clutches of evils that
fills people with joy.
Thus history, mythology, individual perception, and geographical
community philosophy all make these festivals universal celebrations. They
symbolize the age-old culture of India, which teaches seekers to vanquish the
ignorance that subdues humanity and to drive away the darkness that engulfs
the light of knowledge. These festivals of lights, even in the modern world,
project Indias rich, glorious past and teach its people to uphold the true
values of life. (Note: This year, the first day of Dashera falls on October 7,
and the first day of Diwali falls on November 3.)
May these festivals, representing the light of all lights, bring us success,
happiness, prosperity, and peace.
Again, happy festivals of lights!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Navaratri celebrates spiritual progress

Navaratri (nava means nine and ratri means nights) means nine nights.
Rama worships Devi, also known as Durga and Shakti, goddess of divine
energy and success, as he fights a fierce battle for nine days with Ravana, the
demon king, to free Sita, who was deceitfully abducted by the demon king out
of devilish lust and greed. Ravana was slain on the tenth day.
The festival of Navaratri begins the day after the new moon in the month
of Ashvin (mid-September through mid-October). The goddess, who confers
Divine Power, is worshipped for nine days for strength. The deity is
manifested as a creative aspect of the Absolute and symbolized as cosmic
energy. She sustains and transforms the universe as a unifying force of
existence.
Shakti encompasses all forms of existential power, the power of knowledge
and omniscience, which are the glorious attributes of God; one may recognize
it as Shiva or Vishnu. Others may name it differently, according to their faith.
The one who possesses the power and the one who is the power cannot be
separated. Thus, the goddess, i.e., Devi, is the conscious power of God, i.e.
Deva. Thus, God and Shakti are two images of the same entity.
The worship of God in the aspect of the Divine Mother has its origin in the
matriarchal society of ancient times. With the progress of civilization, it was
replaced by recognizing the father as head of the family unit. Even though,
subsequently, a synthetic harmony between motherhood and fatherhood was
developed by the Hindu religion, mother worship continued to persist, for the
concept was psychologically more appealing to the devotee, the mother being
nearest in filial affection to the child.
Mothers grace and mercy are boundless. She is pleased with the childs
purity of heart. As a mother cares for and protects her child when the child is
solely dependent on her, the Divine Mother blesses every aspirant that
approaches her as an innocent child with divine wisdom, spiritual insight, and
liberation.
Everyone loves, longs for, and worships power in one form or another,
though it may not be in the image that Hindus worship. Physicists have proved
that the cause of every existence in this universe is pure nonperishable energy,
and Hindus worship this energy as Sakti or Power. According to the
Upanishad, the Para Sakti, the supreme Power of God, is heard in various
ways; this power is the nature of God manifesting as knowledge, strength, and
activity.
This divinity is adored in three aspects: Durga or Kali, Lakshmi, and
Saraswati. The symbolic forms, respectively, are darkness or night, dawn, and
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Mandakini Hiremath
sunrise. The understanding is that the Divine Mother as Kali or Durga

destroys the darkness within us and guides us to the next manifestation,
Lakshmi, for prosperity and success, and then ultimately to Saraswati for
knowledge, peace and freedom.
Mother Goddess divine ways of guiding the infant soul are mysterious.
She is frightful and terrible: as Goddess Durga, she destroys the obstacles that
rise from tamsick or the demonic level. She is lustrous as Goddess Lakshmi,
the bestower of material and spiritual wealth. In the form of the Goddess
Saraswati, she is sublime and elegant as she rides on the mystic swan,
conferring knowledge of immortality. Saraswati is cosmic intelligence, cosmic
conscience, and cosmic knowledge. Worship of Saraswati is necessary for
purity of mind, the power of discrimination and contemplation, leading
towards wisdom. Therefore, believers worship Durga for the first three days
of Navaratri to remove impurities from the mind, Lakshmi for the next three
days to cultivate noble values and qualities, and Saraswati for the last three
days for gaining the highest knowledge of the self. The tenth day is called
Dashera. Dashera is filled with bright lights, supreme peace, and rejoicing.
This festival symbolizes the age-old culture of India, which teaches seekers
to vanquish ignorance, subdue human values and uphold the true values of
life. Thus, the worship of Devi is a spiritual practice designed to re-examine
and revive ones own life with deeper insight as he or she seeks a deeper
meaning in life.
May this occasion bring us success, happiness, prosperity, and peace by
leading us from darkness to light.
Note: This year the first day of Navaratri falls on Friday, October 15.
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Hindus Dashera, a time of brightness

Dashera marks the victory of good over evil and brings glowing happiness
and touch of sparkle all around. Dashera, a ten-day festival, begins the day
after the new moon in the month of Ashvin (mid-September through midNovember).
There are many legends associated with Dashera. The prominent legend is
Lord Brahma of the trinity Brahma, Vishnu & Shiva, granted Mahishasura a
boon that protected him from any man in the world. Empowered by this gift
and blinded by lust and vanity Mahishasura (one who could assume a shape of
a buffalo) set out to be sovereign by any means. About to be defeated, Indra,
King of deities, sought refuge with Lords Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva and
pleaded for safeguarding good from evil.
The legend relates how powerful the demon was and that no god could
individually defeat him. Understanding the crisis, to protect the righteousness,
the trinity, Lords Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva created Durga, an eight armed
goddess also recognized as Shakti (means divine power), since she was
the female through and amalgamation of their own divine power. Her eight
arms hold different weapons given to her by various gods to annihilate this
enemy of dharma (righteousness). Endowed with the trinity's Shakti, Durga
proved to be a formidable opponent. She fiercely fought Mahishasura for nine
days, beheading him on the tenth. The first nine-day period is recognized as
Navaratri (nava means nine and ratri means night) symbolizes the nine
days of battle, while the tenth day, Vijayadashami literally means the
victorious tenth day of conquest.
Another legend associated with Dashera concerns Rama, the god who
represents ideal man in the epic, Ramayana, worships Durga, goddess of
divine energy and success, as he fights fierce battle for nine days with Ravana,
the demon king to free Sita, who was deceitfully abducted by the demon king
out of devilish lust and greed. Ravana was slain on the tenth day. (Rama
introduced the present day Durga pooja, worship.)
Hence, in many parts of India, the story of Rama is enacted as Ramalila for
a month prior to Dashera and effigy of Ravana is burned on the tenth
(Dashera) day.
Every facility is cleaned and throughout this period oil lamps are burned,
and many go on fast, some for nine days, some five days or some two days,
just 8th and 9th day, as they worship the Divine Mother. Fasting is considered
as a process of physical and spiritual purification.
Its believed that Durga, along with her four children, visits earth during
this ten-day period. Clay and papier-mch images of Durga slaying the
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demon Mahishasura while riding a lion are decorated with silk saris and
jewels for public display and worship. On the 10th day, the images are carried
in a great procession to a river for immersion, symbolizing the return of Durga
and her children to Lord Shiva, her husband.
God, as Divine Mother, manifests in three main forms: Durga or Kali,
to Saraswati, for knowledge of peace and freedom. Her divine ways of
guiding the infant soul are mysterious. She is frightful and terrible as Goddess
Durga as she destroys the obstacles that rise from demonic level. She is
lustrous as Goddess Lakshmi, the bestower of spiritual and material wealth. In
the form of Goddess Saraswati, she is sublime and elegant as she rides on the
mystic swan, conferring the knowledge of immortality. Therefore, believers
worship Durga for the first three days, Lakshmi for the next three days, and
Saraswati for the last three days; on the tenth day, Dashera is filled with bright
lights, supreme peace, and rejoicing. Thus Navratri celebrates spiritual
progress.
to vanquish the ignorance that subdues humanity and to drive away the
darkness that engulfs the light of knowledge. This festival, even in the modern
world, projects Indias rich glorious past and teaches its people to uphold the
true values of life.
This year Navratri celebration began on Sept. 23rd and culminates on the
10th day. Vijayadashami falls on October 2. May this occasion bring us
success, happiness, prosperity, and peace by leading us towards spiritual
brightness.
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Hindus worship goddess of divine power

Rama worships Shakti, also known as Durga, goddess of divine energy and
success nine nights, as he fights a fierce battle for nine days with Ravana, the
demon king, to free Sita, who was deceitfully abducted by the demon king out
of devilish lust and greed. Ravana was slain on the 10th day. This period is
recognized as Navaratri (nava means nine and ratri means nights),
meaning nine nights.
The goddess who confers Divine Power is worshipped for nine days for
strength. The deity is manifested as a creative aspect of the absolute and
symbolized as cosmic energy. She sustains and transforms the universe as a
unifying force of existence.
Shakti encompasses all forms of existential power, the power of knowledge
and omniscience, which are the glorious attributes of God; one may recognize
it as Shiva or Vishnu. Others may name it differently, according to their faith.
The one who possesses the power and the one who is the power cannot be
separated. Thus, the goddess, i.e., Devi, is the conscious power of God, i.e.
Deva. Thus, God and Shakti are two images of the same entity.
The worship of God in the aspect of the Divine Mother has its origin in the
matriarchal society of ancient times. With the progress of civilization, it was
replaced by recognizing the father as head of the family unit. Even though,
subsequently, a synthetic harmony between motherhood and fatherhood was
developed by the Hindu religion, mother worship continued to persist, for the
concept was psychologically more appealing to the devotee, the mother being
nearest in filial affection to the child.
Mothers grace and mercy are boundless. She is pleased with the childs
purity of heart. As a mother cares for and protects her child when the child is
solely dependent on her, the Divine Mother blesses every aspirant that
approaches her as an innocent child with divine wisdom, spiritual insight and
liberation.
Everyone loves, longs for and worships power in one form or another,
though it may not be in the image that Hindus worship. Physicists have proved
that the cause of every existence in this universe is pure nonperishable energy,
and Hindus worship this energy as Sakti or Power.
According to the Upanishad, the Para Sakti, the supreme Power of God, is
heard in various ways; this power is the nature of God manifesting as
knowledge, strength, and activity.
This divinity is adored in three aspects: Durga or Kali, Lakshmi, and
Saraswati. The symbolic forms, respectively, are darkness or night, dawn and
sunrise. The understanding is that the Divine Mother as Kali or Durga
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destroys the darkness within us and guides us to the next manifestation,

Lakshmi, for prosperity and success, and then ultimately to Saraswati for
knowledge, peace and freedom.
She is frightful and terrible as Goddess Durga; she destroys the obstacles that
rise from tamsick or the demonic level. She is lustrous as Goddess Lakshmi,
the bestower of material and spiritual wealth. In the form of the Goddess
Saraswati, she is sublime and elegant as she rides on the mystic swan,
conferring knowledge of immortality. Saraswati is cosmic intelligence, cosmic
conscience and cosmic knowledge. Worship of Saraswati is necessary for
purity of mind, the power of discrimination and contemplation, leading
towards wisdom. Therefore, believers worship Durga for the first three days
of Navaratri to remove impurities from the mind, Lakshmi for the next three
days to cultivate noble values and qualities, and Saraswati for the last three
days for gaining the highest knowledge of the self. The 10th day is called
Dashera. Dashera is filled with bright lights, supreme peace and rejoicing.
This festival symbolizes the age-old culture of India, which teaches seekers to
vanquish ignorance, subdue human values and uphold the true values of life.
Thus, the worship of Devi is a spiritual practice designed to re-examine and
revive ones own life with deeper insight as he or she seeks a deeper meaning
in life.
May this occasion bring us success, happiness, prosperity and peace by
leading us from darkness to light.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Dashera represents the victory of righteousness over evil

Dashera, a ten-day Hindu festival, began on Tuesday, September 30 and

culminates on Thursday, Oct. 9. (Each year, this holiday falls the day after the
new moon in the month of Ashvin, between mid-September through midOctober.) The first nine days are called Navaratri. Navaratri means (nava
means nine and ratri means night) nine nights. The festival is devoted to
the Mother Goddess known variously as Durga, Kali, Bhavani, Amba, and
Chandika.
Prior to the advent of this festival every facility is cleaned, well lit, and
adorned, the entire surroundings are sanctified, and the entrances are made
colorful with the traditional motifs of Rangoli so that these triumphant
authorities that bestow wealth, prosperity, success, and peace may be
welcomed. During these nine days many go on fast, some for nine days, some
five days or some two days, just the eighth and ninth day, as they worship
Divine Mother. Fasting is considered a process of physical and spiritual
purification. Special worship is performed and prayers are offered to Lord
Ganesha, the giver of success and the remover of all obstacles, and Mata
Lakshmi, goddess of wealth and prosperity. She represents the inner wealth,
the capacity of man to distinguish the real from the unreal, the eternal from
the ephemeral, the imperishable from the perishable, and the capacity for love,
kindness and compassion. Oil lamps are kept burning all through the days and
nights, on the inside for worship purposes and on the outside at nights to drive
away the shadows of evil spirits. Traditional sweets are offered, and
devotional songs (Bhajanas) are sung, since these days are considered
auspicious.
Rama, who introduced the present day Durga worship (pooja), worships
Durga, goddess of divine energy and success, as he fights a fierce battle for
nine days with Ravana, the demon king, to free Sita, who was deceitfully
abducted by the demon king out of devilish lust and greed. Ravana was slain
on the tenth day. One should note that Ravana, who despite all his might and
majesty was destroyed for his evil ways, was a great scholar and an ardent
devotee of Lord Shiva, but the very powers that were bestowed on him for his
steadfast devotion proved to be his undoing. His pride, ego, and of course, lust
and greed caused his demise.
Another legend associated with Dashera concerns the existence of the
goddess Durga and her beheading a very powerful demon, Mahisasura (one
who could assume the shape of a buffalo). Hence, in many parts of India, the
story of Rama (Ramayana) is enacted as Ramlila for a month prior to Dashera,
and an effigy of Ravana is burned on the tenth (Dashera) day. Burning the
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effigies symbolizes burning the evil within us and thus following the path of
virtue and goodness. It is believed that Durga, along with her four children,
visits earth during this ten-day period. Clay or papier-mch images of Durga
riding a lion as she slays the demon Mahisasura are decorated with silk saris
and jewels for public display and worship. On the tenth day, the images are
immersed in a river, symbolizing the return of Durga and her children to Lord
Shiva, her husband.
God, as Divine Mother, manifests in three main forms: Durga or Kali,
to Saraswati, for knowledge of peace and freedom. Her divine ways of
guiding the infant soul are mysterious. She is frightful and terrible as Goddess
Durga as she destroys the obstacles that rise from tamsick or demonic level.
She is lustrous as Goddess Lakshmi, the bestower of spiritual and material
wealth. In the form of Goddess Saraswati, she is sublime and elegant as she
rides on the mystic swan, conferring the knowledge of immortality. Therefore,
believers worship Durga for the first three days, Lakshmi for the next three
days, and Saraswati for the last three days; on the tenth day, Dashera is filled
with triumph, bright lights, supreme peace, and rejoicing.
Each year children and adults celebrate Dashera joyously. For them this is
to vanquish the ignorance that subdues human values and to uphold the true
values of life.
May this festival, representing the victory of righteousness over evil, bring
us success, happiness, prosperity, and peace.
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Navaratri, the spiritual significance

For nine nights, Rama worships Shakti, goddess of divine energy and
success, as he fights a fierce battle for nine days with Ravana, the demon king,
to free Sita, who was deceitfully abducted by Ravana out of devilish lust and
greed. Rama slays Ravana on the 10th day. This period is recognized as
Navaratri (nava means nine and ratri means nights).
According to the Upanishad, the Para Shakti Mahalakshmi, which is the
supreme Power of God, is heard in various ways. This power is the nature of
God manifesting as knowledge, strength, and activity. This divinity is adored
in three aspects: Durga or Kali symbolizing darkness or night, Lakshmi
symbolizing dawn, and Saraswati symbolizing sunrise. The understanding is
that the Divine Mother as Kali or Durga destroys the darkness within us and
guides us to the next manifestation, Lakshmi, for prosperity and success, and
then ultimately to Saraswati for knowledge, peace and freedom.
She is frightful and terrible as Goddess Durga, also called Mahisasura
Mardini, meaning slayer of the asura (demon) named Mahisa, meaning
buffalo. The buffalo symbolizes laziness, darkness, ignorance, and inertia.
By slaying the demon buffalo, she destroys the obstacles that rise from
tamsick or the demonic level. In Durga Havana (sacrifice), the aspirant
conscientiously invokes the divine Power (Shakti) within to annihilate
inherent gross impurities such as violence, pride, lust, greed and jealousy,
animalistic tendencies.
She is lustrous as Goddess Lakshmi, the provider of happiness, of material
and spiritual prosperity, the wealth of divine virtue. Lakshmi represents the
inner wealth, love, and compassion, the capacity of man to know real from
unreal, the eternal from ephemeral, the imperishable from perishable. After
having removed gross impurities and now equipped with Lakshmis blessings,
the aspirant worships Saraswati. The goddess Saraswati is sublime and elegant
as she rides on the mystic swan, conferring knowledge of meaningful real
wealth and immortality. Saraswati is cosmic intelligence, cosmic conscience
and cosmic knowledge. Worship of Saraswati is necessary for purity of mind,
the power of discrimination and contemplation, leading towards wisdom.
Therefore, believers worship Durga for the first three days of Navaratri to
remove mental impurities, Lakshmi for the next three days to cultivate wealth,
noble values and qualities, and Saraswati for the last three days for gaining the
highest knowledge of the self. The worship is concluded on the tenth day,
called Vijayadashami (Vijay means victory and dasami is tenth day), by
celebrating the victory of the Goddess over all demonic forces.
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However, an ordinary human being is a constant slave to his/her tempers,

anger, and desire, so one should not be satisfied with the momentary victory.
In order for an aspirant to wage relentless eternal spiritual war against these
enemies, the lifelong worship of Goddess Mahalakshmi must continue.
During Navaratri, every facility is cleaned, well lit and adorned; the
Goddess is worshipped at home and in temples. Each night public gatherings
are held and the Rasa dance of Sri Krishna and the gopis is performed.
Apparently, especially for young people, Navaratri may seem an occasion of
social gatherings to enjoy, eat, sing and Garba dance until dawn. However,
Rasa is the dance of joy to signify ones spiritual awakening. Thus, the theme
of entire Veda is reflected in the Navaratri festival: Purify the mind by
removing ignorance and negativities; cultivate positive virtues; gain spiritual
knowledge to transcend ones limits. This is the real victory, the dance of joy
to signify the aspirants spiritual awakening.
This year the first day of Navaratri falls on Thursday, September 25.
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Hindu festival of lights celebrates good over evil

Though autumn on the Hindu (lunar) calendar is packed with festivals,

Diwali is one of the most widely observed of them. It marks the victory of
good over evil and brings glowing happiness and a touch of sparkle all
around. It is an occasion to exchange sweets, gifts and messages of good will
and to share good fortune with those who are less fortunate.
Diwali is traditionally celebrated for five days. It begins on the 13th day of
the dark fortnight in the month of Krittika (mid-October through midNovember). Deepavali (deep means "light'' and avali means "a row'') is
celebrated by Indians on a grand scale as a festival of lights, signifying the
advent of joy and happiness in India and all over the world.
When darkness unfolds at dusk during this festival, one can see a
spectacular illumination produced by tiny flickering earthenware lamps (in
certain areas earthenware lamps have been replaced, for convenience and
safety, by candles, oil lamps, and/or electric lights) adorning rows of homes,
buildings and streets. Both young and old enthusiastically set off multicolored
noisy firecrackers.
bright lights; the Lords Krishna and Rama's triumphant return after
Rama; and Batu Vaamana's damning of Bali, king of the netherlands, etc.
Every facility is cleaned, well lit and adorned, the entire surroundings are
success and peace may be welcomed; in addition, special worship is
prosperity.
Lamps are kept burning all through the night, on the inside for worship
purposes and on the outside to drive away the shadows of evil spirits.
Traditional sweets are offered, and devotional songs (Bhajanas) are sung,
since these days are considered auspicious.
traditional dessert-filled meals, firecrackers and revisiting the legends of gods,
specifically, the powerful heroes who destroy demons. For them this is the
occasion to acknowledge that ultimately good prevails over evil. For adults, in
addition to the joy and festivity of the occasion, this holiday may bring a
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deeper insight. It may help a seeker to renew his life as he or she seeks a
deeper meaning.
sorrows in the interest of society, requesting that the day of her son's
beheading be jubilantly celebrated.
The 16,000 damsels represent the desires that arise in an egoistic man.
Therefore, as the demon is killed, the damsels are freed; King Bali,
underworlds mighty power, because of his greed and desire to gain
sovereignty over the outer sky, becomes a threat to the gods; to curb his greed,
Lord Vishnu, in the guise of Batu Vaamana -- a small boy -- visits Bali during
his worship and begs him for three steps of land. Known for philanthropy,
King Bali (against his Guru's advice) very proudly grants him the wish. The
moment his wish is granted, Almighty Vishnu resumes his original form and
covers outer sky with his first step, earth with his second step and asks where
he should step for the third one.
Bound by the piety to the promise, Bali offers his head. Stepping on and
pushing it to the underworld where it belonged, Lord Vishnu gives him the
Lamp of Knowledge and allows him to return to earth once a year, i.e. fourth
day of Diwali, to light millions of lamps to dispel the darkness of ignorance
and spread the radiance of love and wisdom. It is this deliverance of the
people from the clutches of evils that fills people with joy.
Thus history, mythology, individual perception and geographical
community philosophy all make this festival a universal celebration. It
symbolizes the age-old culture of India, which teaches seekers to vanquish the
the light of knowledge.
This year, the first day of Diwali falls on Nov. 3. Happy Festival of Lights!
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Spiritual journey towards lights

Hindus celebrate New Year
Though autumn on the lunar Hindu calendar is packed with festivals,

Diwali is the most widely observed of them. This festival marks the victory of
good over evil and brings an awareness of how to maximize the potential of
life and earn the grace of God. On a personal level people become
introspective and pledge to remove from their lives the evil instincts of envy,
ego, greed, lust, and hatred. They resolve to cultivate the noble virtues of love,
devotion, generosity and humility. Its an opportunity to reflect on the past
and plan for the future.
Diwali is traditionally celebrated for five days, the last three days of the
dark fortnight in the month of Ashwin and the first two days of the bright
fortnight in the month of Kartika (mid-October through mid-November).
Diwali is associated with several legends and practiced in different parts of
India in various traditional ways. Today, I write about the fourth day of this
festival that begins the Hindu New Year. This is a day for forgiving and
forgetting old enmities and embarking on a fresh positive track. Its a day for
resolving to better ones life.
In recognition of Balis total surrender to the Lord in the form of Vaman,
this day is called Bali Pratipada. The underworlds mighty power, King Bali,
because of his greed and desire to gain sovereignty over the outer sky,
becomes a threat to the gods. To curb his greed, Lord Vishnu, in the guise of
Batu Vaman a small boy visits Bali during his worship and begs him for
three steps of land. Known for philanthropy, King Bali (against his Gurus
advice) very proudly grants the wish. The moment his wish was granted
Almighty Vishnu resumes his original form and covers outer sky with his first
step, earth with his second step and asks where should he step for the third
one.
Bound by piety to the promise, Bali, King of the Netherworld, offers his
head. Stepping on and pushing it to the underworld where it belonged, Lord
Vishnu gives him the lamp of knowledge and allows him to return to earth
once a year, i.e. on the fourth day of Diwali, a beginning of the New Year, to
light millions of lamps to dispel the darkness of ignorance and spread the
radiance of love and wisdom, with selfless surrender to the Lord Almighty. It
is this deliverance of the one from the clutches of evils that fills him/her with
joy.
Every building is cleaned, well lit, and adorned; the entire surroundings are
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Rangoli so that the triumphant authorities that bestow wealth, knowledge,

prosperity, success, and peace may be welcomed. Lamps are kept burning all
through the night, on the inside for worship purposes and on the outside to
drive away the shadows of evil spirits.
There is another legend. Observing the villagers of Gokul preparing to
honor Indra on this occasion, child Krishna insisted that they should worship
the nearby Mount Govardhan because it provides the basic essentials of life.
And so they did. Upset and feeling insulted, Indra showered torrential rains on
Gokul. But using his godly power, Krishna lifted the mountain and held it on
his finger as an umbrella over the village to shelter the villagers. The
mountain is worshipped each year on this day. Varieties of traditional sweets
made from the freshly-reaped crop of the new harvest are offered to the deity
during worship. This occasion of decorative food offering is called
Annakoot.
children, this holiday may mean new clothing, friends and relatives gathered
for traditional dessert-filled meals, firecrackers, and revisiting the legends of
gods, specifically, the powerful heroes who destroy demons. For children this
is the occasion to celebrate the victory of good over evil and to acknowledge
seeker to renew his life as he or she seeks a deeper meaning in life. All the
celebration and rituals of worship highlight the believers dependence on God.
Diwali symbolizes the fabric of Hindu society, values of life, moral
concepts, laws, philosophy, culture and traditions. Its mythology, history, and
individual perception all make this festival a universal celebration. It
represents the age-old culture of India, which teaches seekers to vanquish the
the light of knowledge.
This year the first day of Diwali falls on Sunday, October 30, and the
Hindu New Year falls on Wednesday, November 2.
Happy festival of lights to all of us!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Deepavali, kindle a lamp of love with your life

Sanskrit word Deepavali (deep means light and avali means a row),
later corrupted to Diwali, is celebrated by Indians on a grand scale as a
festival of lights, signifying the advent of joy and happiness in India and all
over the world. When darkness unfolds at dusk during this festival, one can
see a spectacular illumination produced by tiny flickering earthenware lamps
(in certain areas earthenware lamps have been replaced, for convenience and
safety, by candles, oil lamps, and/or electric lights) adorning rows of homes,
buildings and streets in every town and village. Both young and old
enthusiastically set off multicolored noisy firecrackers.
Diwali is traditionally celebrated for five days. It begins on the thirteenth
day of the dark fortnight in the month of Kartika and ends on second day of
the bright fortnight of Margasira (mid-October through mid-November).
Rama; and Batu Vaamanas damning of Bali, king of the netherlands, and
Yamaraj, the god of death, visiting his sister, etc.
The fifth and final day of Diwali is known as Bhayya-Duj. (Bhayya
means brother; Duj means second, since it falls on the second day of the
fortnight.) As the legend goes Yamaraj visits his sister, Yamuna (Yami) on
this particular day. Putting auspicious tilak on his forehead and garland around
his neck, she feeds him traditional food. They together eat the sweets,
reminisce on their childhood memories and enjoy to their hearts contents.
While parting the, Yamaraj gives, as a token of love, her special gift and
announces: Anyone who receives tilak on this auspicious day from his sister
will never be thrown. In return the sister also presents him with a gift, and
wishes her brother long, healthy, happy, prosperous life. Therefore, this day of
Bhayya-Duj is also known as Yama-Dwitiya (Dwitiya meaning
second).
Many brothers travel hundreds of miles to spend this day with their sisters.
Its a cultural belief and directed as a spiritual education. Though,
traditionally, meant to be for the siblings of opposite sex, its not confined just
to biological limits. Since everyday problems, everyone in todays world
seems to be constantly and eternally running after something, spending quiet
day with a sibling, tender words of love and affection, sharing food, catching
up, and reaching innermost depths of the hearts may prove rejuvenating.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Diwali is an occasion anticipated for cleansing, literally and spiritually.

Every facility is cleaned, well lit, and adorned, the entire surroundings are
success, and peace may be welcomed; in addition, special worship is
kept burning all through the night, on the inside for worship purposes and on
the outside to drive away the shadows of evil spirits. Traditional sweets are
Diwali on the whole has always been the festival with social and religious
connotations. It is a personal, people-oriented festival when forgetting
animosities, families and friends meet to enjoy and establish closeness. For
traditional dessert-filled meals, firecrackers, and revisiting the legends of
gods, specifically, the powerful heroes who destroy demons. For them this is
Symbolizing the age-old Vedic culture of India, which teaches seekers to
vanquish the ignorance that subdues humanity and to drive away the darkness
that engulfs the light of knowledge, Diwali projects Indias rich, glorious past
and teaches its people to uphold the true values of life even in the modern
world. (Note: This year, the first day of Diwali fell on October 19.)
Happy Festivals of Lights!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Deepavali, from darkness to light

Diwali is traditionally celebrated for five days. It begins on the 13th day of
the dark fortnight in the month of Krittika (mid-October through midNovember). Deepavali (deep means light and avail means a row) is
celebrated by Indians on a grand scale as a festival of lights, signifying the
advent of joy and happiness in India and all over the world.
When darkness unfolds at dusk during this festival, one can see a spectacular
illumination produced by tiny flickering earthenware lamps (in certain areas,
earthenware lamps have been replaced, for convenience and safety, by candles
or electric lights) adorning rows of homes, buildings and streets in every town
and village. Both young and old enthusiastically set-off multicolored noisy
firecrackers.
Rama; and Batu Vaamanas damning of Bali, king of the nether lands, etc.
Every facility is cleaned, well-lit and adorned, the entire surroundings are
sanctified and the entrances are made colorful with the traditional motifs of
success and peace may be welcomed; in addition, special worship is
kept burning all through the night on the inside for worship purposes and
on the outside to drive away the shadows of evil spirits. Traditional sweets are
Each year, children and adults alike joyously anticipate Diwali. For
traditional dessert-filled meals, firecrackers and revisiting the legends of gods,
specifically, the powerful heroes who destroy demons. For them, this is the
occasion to celebrate the victory of good over evil and to acknowledge that
ultimately good prevails over evil. For adults, in addition to the joy and
seeker to renew his life as he or she searches for a deeper meaning in life.
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Mandakini Hiremath

are freed. It is this deliverance of the people from the clutches of evils that
Thus history, mythology, individual perception and philosophy all make
this festival a universal celebration. It symbolizes the age-old culture of India,
which teaches seekers to vanquish the ignorance that subdues humanity and to
drive away the darkness that engulfs the light of knowledge. This festival of
lights, even in the modern world, projects Indias rich, glorious past and
teaches its people to uphold the true values of life.
This year, the first day of Diwali fell on Thursday, Nov. 8.
May this festival, representing the light of all lights, bring us success,
happiness, prosperity and peace.
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Deepavali the festival of lights

Deepavali, also called Diwali, is traditionally celebrated for five days. It

begins on the 13th day of the dark fortnight in the month of Kartika (midOctober through mid-November).
Deepavali (deep means light, and avali means a row) is celebrated by
Indians on a grand scale as a festival of lights, signifying the advent of joy and
happiness in India and all over the world. When darkness unfolds at dusk
during this festival, one can see a spectacular illumination produced by tiny
flickering earthenware lamps (in certain areas, earthenware lamps have been
replaced by candles, oil lamps or electric lights) adorning rows of homes,
buildings and streets in every town and village. Both young and old
enthusiastically set off multicolored firecrackers.
Rama; and Batu Vaamanas damning of Bali, king of the Netherlands, etc.
Every facility is cleaned, well lit and adorned, the entire surroundings are
sanctified and the entrances are made colorful with the traditional motifs of
success and peace may be welcomed.
In addition, special worship is performed, and prayers are offered to Lord
Ganesha, the giver of success and the remover of all obstacles, and Mata
Lakshmi, goddess of wealth and prosperity. Lamps are kept burning all
through the night, on the inside for worship purposes and on the outside to
drive away the shadows of evil spirits. Traditional sweets are offered, and
devotional songs (Bhajanas) are sung, since these days are considered
auspicious.
Each year, children and adults joyously anticipate Diwali. For children, this
holiday may mean new clothing, friends and relatives around for traditional
dessert-filled meals, firecrackers and revisiting the legends of gods,
specifically, the powerful heroes who destroy demons.
For them, this is the occasion to celebrate the victory of good over evil. For
adults, this holiday may bring a deeper insight. It may help a seeker to renew
his life as he or she seeks a deeper meaning in life.
The legends tells about Narakasura, who stands as an intolerable menace to
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are freed. It is this deliverance of the people from the clutches of evil that fills
people with joy.
Thus history, mythology, individual perception and geographical
community philosophy all make these festivals universal celebrations. They
symbolize the age-old culture of India, which teaches seekers to vanquish the
the light of knowledge. This festival of lights, even in the modern world,
projects Indias rich, glorious past and teaches its people to uphold the true
values of life.
This year, the first day of Deepavali falls on Sunday, October 26.
May this festival, representing the light of all lights, bring us success,
happiness, prosperity and peace. Again, Happy Festival of Lights!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Deepavali deeper insight

Deepavali (deep means light and avali means a row), also called
Diwali, is traditionally celebrated for five days by Indians on a grand scale as
a festival of lights. Diwali is associated with several legends and practices in
different parts of India, including the descent to earth in darkness of the souls
and spirits of forefathers to bless their progeny and their return to their resting
place in the bright lights; the Krishna and Ramas triumphant return after
vanquishing asuras (demons) Narakasura and Ravana; the coronation of
Rama; and Batu Vaamanas damning of Bali, king of the Netherlands, etc.
These asuras, unrighteous in act and hostile to gods, are super-human who
lived in the underworld. They desire to be undisputed ruler of the three worlds
the heaven, the earth, and the underworld. They perform severe penances to
seek blessings of the Trinity, Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva who create, protect
and prosper, and ultimately end the creation to start the process anew. Though
the asuras wish for immortality is denied for the reason that all living beings
must face death, they are asked to choose their death wish.
The demon king Narakasura, a son of Bhudevi (Mother Earth), an
intolerable menace to saintly persons, loots and plunders, mercilessly carrying
away 16,000 damsels and imprisoning them in his harem. On the 14th night of
dark fortnight, prior to the new moon night, Krishna empowers Satyabhama,
his wife, to behead Narakasura, since the prediction was that the demon king
would be slain by a woman. Bhudevi becomes reconciled to her loss, knowing
that the Lord has punished her son for the sake of the world. She sets a
glowing example of how one must brush aside his or her personal joys and
beheading be jubilantly celebrated, which is done on the second of the five
days festival.
Next day, at the dawn of Diwali day, the oil bath, symbolizing the
cleansing of the egocentric desires, is taken before worshipping Goddess
Lakshmi, who represents the inner wealth. This day is dedicated to inner
purity and noble character. Day after the new moon, symbolizing from
darkness to light, Sri Rama is coroneted. Ramas empire represents state of
utter peace, tranquility and spiritual riches wanting nothing, demanding
nothing, no stealing, begging, or lying for material things.
The legend behind Batu Vaamana and Bali, king of the Netherlands, is
exceptional. Bali, because of his avarice to gain sovereignty over the outer
sky, becomes a threat to the gods. To curb his greed, Lord Vishnu disguised as
Brahmin dwarf visits Bali and asks him the offering of three steps of land.
Known for philanthropy, Bali (against his gurus advice) proudly grants the
wish. The moment his wish was granted, Almighty Vishnu resumes his
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original form and covers outer sky with his first step, earth with his second
step and asks where he should step for the third one.
Bound by piety to the promise, Bali offers his head. Stepping on and
pushing it to the underworld where it belonged, Lord Vishnu gives him the
lamp of knowledge and allows him to return to earth once a year, which
Hindus believe is on the fourth day of Diwali, a beginning of the New Year, to
light millions of lamps to dispel the darkness of ignorance and spread the
radiance of love and wisdom, with selfless surrender to the Almighty.
Gods and demons are considered complementary forces, not irreconcilable
opposites (such as good and evil). In the eternal cycle of creation and
destruction, both are necessary aspects of Ultimate Reality. In the Vedas,
devas (gods) and asuras were both children of Brahma. They shared the same
origin and nature.
The legends and epics are ancient stories, but human nature remains the
same. Even today anger, ego, envy, greed, jealousy, lust, pride, and hatred,
which represent 16000 damsels in the demons harem, are tainting every
human heart and threatening to ruin all human beings. As the Self is
apprehended, the demon is killed, and the damsels are freed. Diwali represents
the age-old culture of India, which teaches seekers to vanquish the ignorance
that subdues humanity and to drive away the darkness that engulfs the light of
knowledge. It is this deliverance of the people from the clutches of evils that
This year, the first day of Diwali falls on Wednesday, October 22.
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Generating fresh waves of spirituality

Sunday, July 13, 2003
Hindus observe the sacred full moon day in the month of Ashad (between
late June and early July) as a day of pooja (worship) and prayers to pay
homage to the entire line of spiritual masters from the Vedic times to the
present day. The place of guru, spiritual master, in Hinduism is as high as the
place of the Lord, if not higher.
Every human aims at being happy; yet, we all are suffering. The cause of
suffering is being ignorant about the nature of ones own true self. Until one
gets acquainted with it, he is a stranger to his own self. Ramdas, in Dasbodh,
says, After long time I have met myself. Gurus task is to impart knowledge
of the supreme and enlighten that divinity, which is inherent in every human
being, in his aspirant. In addition, Ramdas states: By realizing Divinity, the
jiva (individual) becomes the Shiva (God, to be one with the Creator); if not
the jiva is just a shava (a corpse, a mortal).
On this auspicious day, spiritual leaders, philosophers, scholars and sages
settle at tranquil places to study, discourse and engage themselves in
philosophical investigation on the Brahma Sutras composed by Maharishi
Vyasa. The period of Chaturmas (the four months) begins from this day;
Sannyasins, spiritual aspirants and scholars stay at one place during the
ensuring four rainy months, engage in the studies of Brahma Sutras and
practice of meditation. Aspirants commence or resolve to intensify with all
earnestness their practical spiritual sadhana (austerities) from this day onward.
In this guru tradition, the illustrious line of spiritual masters down the ages,
Bhagavan Veda Vyasa stands pre-eminent among all those who have come
before as well as after him. He has done the most valuable and eternal service
to humanity by editing four Vedas, writing the 18 Puranas, the Mahabharata
and the Srimad Bhagavatam. Since Guru Purnima is observed on his birthday,
and as he is held as the Master of all Masters, the eternal guru, this purnima
(full moon) day is recognized as Vyasa Jayanti, as well.
This is the holiest of all the holidays to the aspirants, who follow the Hindu
traditions of spiritual discipline. This day, each seeker of spirituality invokes
the grace and blessings of all spiritual masters, who have bequeathed to him
glorious and eternal tradition of Sanatan Dharma for future spiritual progress
and self-unfoldment.
Just to emphasize on gurus importance, I quote from Srutis: To that highsouled aspirant whose devotion to the Lord is great and whose devotion to the
guru is as great as to the Lord, the secrets explained herein become
illuminated. Guru is the Brahman, the Absolute, or God himself. He guides
and inspires us from the inner core of our being.
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We may have a new angle of vision to fit this concept well to our modern
lifestyle, in which guru may be rare entity to be found in the vicinity.
Therefore, let us accept Mother Nature as a guru. Behold the entire universe
as the form of a guru. See the guiding hand, hear awakening voice and feel the
illuminating touch of the guru in every object of Gods creation. We may see
the whole world transformed in front of our eyes and our vision of perception
being purified. The world as a guru may reveal precious secrets, teach
valuable lessons of life and bestow wisdom upon us. The transformation may
help us to empty our petty ego and lead us to all the lifes eternal treasures that
are locked up in the bosom of nature. The moon shines by reflecting the
dazzling light of the sun. Its the full moon on Guru Purnima day that reflects
in full splendor the glorious light of the sun. In return, the splendor of the
moon glorifies the sun. May that same glorifying light shine upon us, lead us
in the right direction and bless us with knowledge, peace and tranquility.
The perfect way to celebrate Guru Purnima and to pay homage to our
eternal guru Vyasa is to study his works and practice his teachings. May we,
on this auspicious day, generate fresh waves of spirituality. May all that we
have read, heard, seen and learned transform, through sadhana (austerity), into
a continuous outpouring of universal love, loving service, prayer and worship
to the Lord Almighty, who is residing within each one of us.
Note: This year, Guru Purnima falls on Friday, July 18.
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AusterityGateway to spirituality
Monday, November 3, 2003
The Sanskrit word for austeritytapasa (penance)includes the concept

of heat. As heat purifies gold and increases its luster, so does austerity; it
burns away impious wrappings of the soul and brightens ones spiritual luster.
Austerity, according to the ages, is the nature of asceticism that patiently
endures hardships and does not harm living creatures. Examples of age-old
images of austerity include: meditating alone in a jungle, eating only roots and
leaves, sitting surrounded by fire and bathing in the blazing sun in burning
summer, standing in freezing water up to the neck in winter, or standing on
one leg on a bed of nails for days with hands folded and arms stretched above
the shoulders.
However, while advising Arjun on the battlefield of Kurushketra, Lord
Krishna proclaims those who practice severity in the name of austerity
without following the scriptures as hypocrites and egoistic, for they are
senselessly torturing the elements in their body and also Him who dwells
within each body. Therefore, they are called ignorant persons and recognized
to be of a demonic nature (Bhagavad-Gita.17.06). Austerity as described in
this part of the text is three-fold, of body, speech, and thought. An aspirant
should consider the most practical way of practicing austerity as outlined by
Lord Krishna in Bhagavad-Gita (17.14-17).
First, austerity of body is worship performed with cleanliness, simplicity,
celibacy, and nonviolence. This consists of worshipping the Supreme Lord,
spiritual master, and elderly persons, such as parents, grandparents, or any
revered entity. Second, austerity of speech consists of speaking words that are
truthful, pleasant, and beneficial to others. Also, reading and reciting Vedic
literature or scriptures regularly is expected. Finally, the third aspect consists
of serenity, contentedness, gentleness, self-restraint, and purity of mind. This
category is called austerity of thought. Thus, the threefold austerity of thought,
speech, and deed practiced with transcendental faith by persons not desirous
of any material benefits but engaged only for the sake of love of the Supreme
is called austerity in goodness.
Any reasonable person, whether materialist or spiritualist, will agree that
the purpose of life is to seek pleasure or be happy. Everyone wants to be
happy, but most of us have neither pinpointed what is going to truly satisfy us
nor found the exact way to be happy. All of us in this material world are more
or less selfish without knowing our actual self-interest. Over the years man
has developed many devices to make his living comfortable. Each device
comes with a users manual to guide mankind how to use the product
efficiently. If we consider mankind itself as a product, a very complex one, it
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is reasonable to expect a set of instructions, some kind of modus operandi, to

help us use this product efficiently and infallibly. And I do believe that the
scriptures serve this purpose perfectly.
Of course, observing any practice requires perseverance and discipline. It
takes time and requires a lot of effort until one attains a natural healthy state
of pure love for the ritual. According to the experts who have been practicing
it successfully, the practice, when accomplished successfully, becomes just a
habit and merges into our daily routine. This transcendental austerity snaps
material bonds, stimulates full life, opens wide the door to the highest bliss,
and showers the aspirant with love.
Maharishi Vyasa has presented to us the most practical way of practicing
austerity in the epic Mahabharata. As bathing cleans our body, practicing
austerity purifies our speech, thoughts, and deeds. This practice is essential to
keep our self pure and to live a clean and healthy life. In a nutshell, austerity
is respecting others in a way one wants to be respected. It is about being
truthful, pleasant and living a simple life with contentment and good thoughts.
Now, it is clear that this practice doesnt have to be reserved for the monks
who live far away from civilians. It is made available to any scrupulous
commoner who wants to be happy and wants to see other people being happy.
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Vedic culture celebrates the festival of sibling love, protection

The annual festival aptly named Rakshabandhan (raksha means

protection and bandhan means a tie, an enduring bond) means a Tie of
Protection. It is an occasion to celebrate the bond of love between a brother
and a sister. This year the festival falls on August 19. It is marked by a very
simple ceremony in which a sister ties a Raksha or Rakhi which may be a
decorative, colorful stringaround the right wrist of her brother(s). By tying
a rakhi around the wrist of her brother, the sister signifies her loving
attachment to him; in return, by extending his wrist forward, he extends the
hand of protection over to her. After tying a rakhi, the sister performs aarti
(the ritual of lighting camphor) and feeds sweets to her brother. The brother
also honors his sister with a gift as a token of love. The ritual of rakhi thus
signifies the duty of the strong to protect the weak under all circumstances,
and it carries sisters prayers and good wishes for the protection of their
brothers.
Rakshabandhan is a cultural belief and directed as a spiritual education.
Though, traditionally, its meant to be for the siblings of opposite sex, there
are touching examples from mythology, history, and everyday life to show
that this relationship, brotherhood and sisterhood, is not confined just to
biological limits. Any woman in distress may bind a powerful man who
believes in this tradition with this sanctity by sending a rakhi to him to seek
protection. Then, as a result, abiding by the ritual, that brother is expected to
solemnly protect this fair sex and her familys well-being, as well.
This holiday, like all Indian festivals, has a mythological beginning.
During the time of Mahabharata, more than 3,000 years ago, Lord Krishna
releases the celestial discus weapon (Sudarshan Chakra) at Sisupala to
punish him for his crimes. While hurling the weapon at Sisupala, Krishna cuts
his own finger. Droupadi, tearing a piece of her fine sari, immediately rushes
to Krishna to wrap it around his finger to stop the bleeding. With a smile,
Krishna asks her what she wants in return. Droupadi answers, Your eternal
holy presence in my life! Later, when Kauravas try to disrobe (Vastraharan)
Droupadi in the public assembly hall, Krishna, bound by brotherly love,
protects her, the righteous, by providing an unending wrap.
The legend tells us that once Indra, King of Gods, was involved in a long
battle with Daityaraj, demon king. At one stage, Indra was about to be
defeated by his opponent. Afraid, Indra sought refuge with Brahaspati, the
guru of gods. He advised Indra to start the counter attack on Daityaraj on
Shravan Purrnima, the auspicious day of Rakshabandhan. On that day,
Sachidevi, Indras wife, and Brahaspati tied Raksha around Indras right wrist.
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Finally, Indra defeated the demon king, and re-established his own divine
sovereignty.
History records that the wife of Alexander the Great sent Rakhi to King
Porus, seeking his protection to spare her husband during the war. King
Porus, owing to the sanctity of Rakhi, is known to have left Alexander
unharmed, in spite of his opportunity to sever the enemys head.
Yet, another reference is that of Rajput Princess Karunavati of Mewar and
the Mogul emperor Humayun of Delhi. Under hopeless situation during the
war against Bahadur Shah, the sultan of Gujrat, Princess Karunavati is known
to have sent a Rakhi to King Humayun, seeking his help. Though in the midst
of an expedition, Humayun cut short his attack on Bengal to come to her
rescue; nevertheless, Karunavati, feared of being defeated, had committed
jauhar (leaped into the fire. Women often executed Jauhar when they were
besieged as their men decide to face their foes and fight to death) to save her
honor. However, Humayun, owing to the sanctity of the Rakhi, waged a war
against Bahadur Shah, killed him in battle and resurrected the Mewar crown
for the descendants of the Princess.
Thus the concept of rakhi or raksha goes far beyond the sister-brother
relationship and embraces all aspects of protection of the forces of
righteousness from the forces of evil and oppression. Such celebration
reflects the resolve of the society to protect weak, poor, socially
disadvantaged, or destitute.
The essential principle of Vedic culture is eternal, universal, and applicable
to the past, present, and the future. The alternative for the Vedic is Universal
culture, where the aspects of human personality are unfolded. Though
Rakshabandhan may be viewed from a feminist perspective as another
expression of patriarchal culture, it is still well intended. It is, after all, the
brother who extends his hand in protection to his sister, and the woman who
agrees to place herself under the protection of her brother.
Happy Rakshabandhan.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Makara Sankranti, a radical change

According to the Vedic solar calendar, January 13 and 14 are astrologically

very special and auspicious. During this period, the sun passes through the
winter solstice, from the Tropic of Cancer to the Tropic of Capricorn i.e.,
Makara. This journey of astrological change is called Sankramana or
Sankranti, which means a radical change, an evolution in a positive direction,
a journey towards bright and brighter light each day. It signifies a fresh start
and is celebrated in almost all parts of India on Jan. 14.
January 13 is perhaps the first day of earths journey from the Tropic of
Capricorn. This day marks the beginning of the solar month. By increasing
daylight, each day starts to brighten the dark winter, and increasing sunlight
turns the gray of nature into green. Light symbolizes warmth, love and
affection, the qualities of a loving heart. Thus, the sullen mood of winter turns
cheerful. Makara Sankranti identifies a period of enlightenment, peace,
prosperity and happiness followed by a period of darkness, symbolizing
ignorance.
Hindus worship the sun devoutly. The sun transcends time and symbolizes
the non-dual, self-effulgent, glorious divinity, blessing one and all tirelessly.
With great devotion, at dawn, millions of Hindus bathe in places like GangaSagar and Prayag and offer ablutions to the Sun God as He rises. People of
Gujarat offer colorful ablutions to the Sun God in their own style by flying
thousands of kites. The act stands as a metaphor for reaching to their beloved
God, the one who represents the best.
The famous Gayatri Mantra, which is chanted everyday by pious Hindus, is
directed to the Sun God to bless them with intelligence and wisdom. The Sun,
as an incarnation of light, stands for an embodiment of knowledge and
wisdom. During this period, the gurus seek out their ardent disciples to bestow
blessings on them. The period is also considered an ideal time for aspirants to
satisfy the goals of life.
This duration is considered highly favorable for both birth and death. The
birth of Swami Vivekananda on the Sankramana day is an indication of the
passing of the long night of self-oblivion and birth of an effulgent era of
resurgent Hinduism. Also, the belief is that a person dying on this day reaches
the Abode of Light and Eternal Bliss. It is noted that Bhishmacharya, the
grandsire of Pandavas and Kauravas from the epic Mahabharata, voluntarily
left his mortal coil on this holy day. (By his virtue, Bhishmacharya had earned
a blessing of choosing the time of his own death.)
At the start of this event, there is also worship for the departed ancestors,
and cows and oxen that help ease farming to provide livelihood. And the
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landlords award gifts of food, clothes and money to their workforce. Til-gul,
traditional food prepared for this festival, is such that it keeps the body warm,
since the festival is celebrated in the mid of winter. Balls of Til-gul, made of
ground sesame seeds, a variety of nuts and coconut blended with jaggery or
brown sugar, are normally distributed by women to family members and
friends. Til-gul stands for a symbol of friendship and forms a touching aspect
of the Makara Sankramana celebration. People attired in mythological
costumes visit every house during the festival, offering sweets and money.
After the festive dinner, people in the rural and coastal areas are entertained
by bulls, buffaloes and cocks. Colorfully painted and adorned by silver chains
and beads, the animals are made to fight, race and jump over a bonfire.
The co-relation of cosmic events with individual life is one of the most
astounding traits of Hindu faith. Once this co-relation is brought about, these
events become instrumental in reminding us of the best that we cherish and
value. A subtle meaning in Sankranti, signifying light, also gives the message
of intellectual illumination. It is the capacity to discriminate between right and
wrong, just and unjust, truth and falsehood, virtue and vice. It is this wisdom
that leads the individual on the path of human evolution and happiness.
Makara Sankranti calls for the awakening of all these latent powers in man,
not only for the flowering of his individual personality to its fullest, but also
for the well-being and glory of society as a whole. It is this supreme light and
intelligence coupled with the warmth of the heart that can ultimately lead to
all-round human harmony and happiness.
Let us wish happy Makara Sankranti to each other. May our life be filled with
bright light and peace.
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Why Krishna is inseparable of Radha

Friday, February 6, 2009
Beautiful Radha, the loveliest of all cow-girls, the fairest of all fair
flowers, waits under a thick shadow of a Bunyan tree. Her heart is throbbing
with ecstasy and pain; her lips are breaking down into rosy smiles, though
eyes are filled with tears as she waits for her eternal lover. The lotus-eyed, of
blue complexion, soft like monsoon cloud, Krishna never comes. Even if he
appears, its only for a short time; he comes in a flash and vanishes in a wink,
throwing her into a gloom deeper than before.
The story of lovelorn Radha and playful Krishna has been the theme of
many Indian art forms, like dance, drama, music, painting, sculpting and
poetry.
Radha and Krishna were close to each other they played, danced, fought
together in their childhood. When 8 years old, Krishna, a descent of Vishnu,
left Gokula to keep his promise uproot the evil to establish justice and
righteousness by safeguarding the virtues of truth. Radha waited for him as he
vanquished his enemies, established his kingdom, came to be worshipped as a
Lord of the Universe, married Rukmini and Satyabhama, raised his family,
fought a great war of Kurukshetra, and she still waited for him.
Radha is married and senior to Krishna. Once Krishna asks Radha if she
want to play his flute, she says, No! The reason she gives him is that his lips
have touched the flute, and he has left his saliva on it. Thus, the aspect of this
relationship is sublime, spiritual and divine. Radhas pining for Krishna, an
illicit lover, is pining of the individual for the love of the creator. The devotee
is able to love the Lord with the love of a parent, a friend, a servant, or a wife.
Even so, now, the question is of all the choices why this choice?
In the earlier stages of sadhana (austerity), reflection and meditation, the
mind, which is accustomed only to the perception of senses, cannot easily
conceive of a formless, nameless, attributeless reality, and refuses to get away
from its usual sensual haunts. For such a mind concept of such a personal God
with a beautiful form, sweet name, and loving qualities is easier to
comprehend. Secondly, of all human relationships the best and the foremost is
the relationship between husband and wife. Theirs is a life of long association
of togetherness in joy and sorrow. They are equal partners in life, who give
and take with a sense of belonging to each other. The love of wife for her
husband encompasses all other relationships in their variations. She serves
like a servant, feeds like a mother, advises like a well-wisher, loves like a
friend, and all the while she pleases him in all the roles.
The bhakti Acharyas (teachers who teach about devotion) have spoken of
this kind of love that is far deeper than its intensity, wider in perspective and
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higher in flights. Radhas love breaks the bond of conventions and propriety
to run after the Lord abandoning the values of a married woman for her secret
lover. Since her love is the greatest, she gives Krishna the greatest pleasure.
She enchants him, though he enchants the entire world. Ultimately, Radha and
Krishna have become the universal symbol for a loving couple.
Thus, the relationship of Radha and Krishna is the embodiment of love,
passion, and devotion. Its always expressed as a quest for the union of mortal
with the divine. Radhas passion for Krishna symbolizes the souls yearning
and willingness for the ultimate unification with the creator.
Every individual is a combination of two, Self and the Divine Self, but only
this Radha has turned away from the lures of the world and lost her Self, her
individuality, to become one with the Divine Self, Krishna. Radha and
Krishna are inseparable, one in two and two in one. She becomes the
presiding goddess of him. Without Radha, Krishna does not exist. Radha, as a
divine consort of Krishna, through her inexpressible divine elements,
exemplifies the world that the law of love is the law of sacrifice.
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Spiritual women of India

March 2012
The role of women in Hinduism is often disputed; on the social status, it

ranges from highly restricted to full equality. Hinduism is based on numerous
texts some of which date back to 2000 BC or earlier. They are varied in
authority, authenticity, content and theme, with the most authoritative being
the Vedas. Mahabharata and Manusmriti assert that gods are delighted only
when women are worshiped or honored; otherwise all spiritual actions become
futile. Some 19th century European scholars have observed Hindu women as
"naturally chaste" and "more virtuous" than other women, although what
exactly they meant by that is open to dispute. March being Womens History
Month, I would like to place spotlight on Akka Mahadevi, Meera and Mother
Teresa, just three spiritual women of a long list of Indian female gurus and
saints.
A person of mystical vision, Kannada poet of the Veerashaiva Bhakti
movement, and a household name in Karnataka, Mahadevi or Akka
Mahadevi, at times called simply Akka, was born in Karnataka, India, during
a time of strife and political uncertainty in the 12th century. At age 10, she
was initiated as a devotee of Shiva. She worshiped Shiva in the form of
Chennamallikarjuna, which literally means "Mallika's beautiful Arjuna."
Accepting Lord Shiva as her mystical husband, she proclaimed that she was a
woman only in name and that her mind, body and soul belonged to
Chennamallikarjuna. However, it was arranged for her to marry Kausika, the
provincial king, only after he agreed to honor her conditions about their
conjugal relationship. When he disrespected the set conditions, Akka rejected
the lures of a family life and worldly attachment. Singing, Take these
husbands who die and decay, and feed them to your kitchen fires, she walked
out nude in search for her eternal soul mate, Chennamallikarjuna. An ascetic
Mahadevi is said to have refused to wear any clothing (she defends: People
blush when a cloth covering their shame comes loose. When the lord of lives
is omnipresent, how can they be modest?). Nudity was common practice
among male ascetics, but unconventional for a woman. (Legend has it that her
physique was fully covered by her thick, lengthy hair, due to her ardent love
and devotion to God.)
As a wandering poet-saint, traveling throughout the region singing her
vachanas praising her beloved Chennamallikarjuna, Mahadevi launched a
movement that inspired woman to empowerment and enlightenment at time in
which the Caste System suppressed the shudras (the lowest caste) and women.
Much of her poetry explores self-reflective themes of rejecting mortal love in
favor of the everlasting, illicit" love of God. Her Vachanas (a form of
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didactic poetry) are considered her greatest reflective contribution to Kannada

Bhakti literature. All the saints of Anubhavamantapa in Kalyana greeted her
with an honorific phrase Akka, meaning esteemed elder sister. Thus, she
became Akka to all. Akka attended gatherings of the learned at the
Anubhavamantapa in Kudala sangama to debate philosophy and the
attainment of enlightenment (or Moksha, i.e. salvation, termed by her as
"arivu"). As her guru Allamaprabhu shows her the further way of attaining the
transcendent bliss of ultimate union with her Chennamallikarjuna, Akka
leaves Kalyana uttering, Having vanquished the six passions, I became the
trinity of body, thought and speech. Having ended the trinity, I became twain I and the Absolute. Having ended the duality, I become a unity because of the
grace of you all. I salute Basavanna and all assembled saints here. Blessed
was I by Allama, my Master through whose guidance I may join my
Chennamallikarjuna. Goodbye! Goodbye!
Singing her vachanas that exhibited her love for Chennamallikarjuna,
harmony with nature and simple living, Akka traveled widely. Reciting, For
hunger, there are alms; For thirst, there are tanks, streams and wells; For
sleep, temple ruins do well; And for companionship, Thou are there, O
Chennamallikarjuna, she journeyed towards Shrisaila, where her eternal
lovers temple is located (It is also the holy place of the Shiva cult since
before the 12th century.). Querying, O parrots, cuckoos, bees and swans,
have you seen my Lord? Tell me where he is. O God, Thou art the forest;
Thou art the sacred trees, the birds and the beasts. When thou art omnipresent,
why can't I see thyself? I climbed the holy mountain with the aid of the root of
righteous deeds and along renunciation's stairs. O Lord, lift me by thy hand.
Shall I say that the space is God? I do not see Him when I walk through it.
Shall I say that a mountain is God? I do not see Him when I climb and stand
upon it.... Do not reject me; Lord, quickly take me into Thy arms! she ended
her journey at Kadali, near the thick forest area of Shrisaila. She was in her
late 20s.
Akkas non-conformist ways caused a lot of consternation in a
conservative society and even her eventual guru Allama Prabhu had to face
initially difficulties in enlisting her in the gatherings at Anubhavamantapa.
But her spiritual power conquered every obstacle of the age in attempt of
empowering and emancipating women. Akka stands prominently in history
and Shiva Purana.
Centuries later alike Akka Mahadevi, Meera, a 16th century saint
considered herself married to Krishna. One of the greatest devotees of Lord
Krishna, Meera (alternate orthographies: Meerabai, Mira, Meera Bai), an
aristocratic Hindu mystical singer from the Rajasthan royal family and one of
the most significant figures of the saint tradition of the Vaishnava bhakti
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movement was born in 1498. A legend is that after seeing a wedding

procession of a bridegroom, when 4-year-old Meera asked her mother about
her own husband, Meeras mother walked her towards the altar and pointed
out the family deity Lord Krishna. Soon after that Meera lost her mother and a
few years later her father died as well. Convinced that Krishna was to be her
husband, developing an instant loving attachment, pouring forth her love, she
spent most of her time in bathing, dressing the idol as though it were real.
Singing praises, immersed in meditation, she attended all discourses on
Bhagavatam and Krishna Leela.
Meeras reputation as one of the extraordinary beauties of her time was
wide spread. Rana Sangha, the powerful King of Mewar, approached Meeras
grandfather to ask Meeras hand in marriage to his eldest son Bhojraj. Sri
Krishna was the occupant of her heart; she considered herself already married;
yet, to respect the family, she married to Bhojraj. As soon as her household
duties were over, she would go daily to the temple to worship, sing and dance
in ecstasy about beloved Krishnas idol. Displeased by her devotion to
Krishna, her husband's family members admonished and forced her to worship
Durga; however, Meera maintained, "Beloved Lord Krishna occupies my
heart."
Meera had entered a family that was renowned for bravery and heroism.
Rana, her father-in-law, never accepted the Moghul rule in Rajasthan.
Constantly fighting against the Mughals, he had kept Rajasthan independent.
Her heroic husband Bhojaraja was wounded in a battle and died after about 5
years of marriage when she was twenty-three. Renouncing the luxuries of
royal life, she despaired of loving anything temporal. Clinging firmly to her
Lord Krishna more than ever, she sang: That dark dweller in Braj is my only
refuge. O my companion, worldly comfort is an illusion; as soon you get it, it
disappears. I choose the indestructible for my refuge. Snake of death will not
devour Him. My beloveds constant presence is an abode of joy. Meera's lord
is Hari, the indestructible. My lord, I have taken refuge with you, your
maidservant.
Meera's private devotion to Krishna overflowed into an ecstasy. Losing her
self in divine intoxication, sunk in the ocean of love, singing devotionals,
Meera danced in the streets of the city. Her brother-in-law, the new ruler of
Chittorgarh, branded her as a disgrace to the community. Various schemes
were concocted to poison and harm her. However, it is believed that by
Krishnas grace she miraculously survived. Undisturbed by such scandals,
considering herself as reborn gopi mad with love for Krishna, she proclaimed,
The only true man in this universe is Lord Krishna. Singing, Except
Giridhar Gopal, I have no one, dancing from one village to another, she
traveled almost the entire north of India. The monks respected her as a great
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saint. The number of people who deemed it a great fortune to see her and
touch her feet in reverence increased. She spent her last years in Dwarka,
Gujarat. Desiring even after her death to unite with her eternal paramour, she
urges: Crow, eat my whole body but dont touch my eyes awaiting Haris
arrival. She ended her journey at the feet of Lord Krishnas idol, at the age of
49. The temple of Ranchodji (another name for Sri Krishna) in Dwarka
became her shrine.
Dismayed with separation and longing for union, Meera transformed her
grief into a passionate spiritual devotion; in passionate praise of Lord Krishna,
Meera composed 1,2001,300 devotionals which have been published in
several translations worldwide and are sung to this day with great reverence.
Numerous films and documentaries have been produced depicting Meeras
life pieced together from her poetry and stories recounted by her community
and debatable historical authenticity.
Mother Teresa, born as Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu, was born on August 27,
1910 of Catholic Albanian parents in Yugoslavia. From the day of her First
Holy communion, she felt a love for souls and an intense urge to help the
poor. Desiring to work in India, she left home at 18 to Ireland for missionary
training. After training, she spent 2 years as a novice sister in Darjeeling, India
and then arrived as a teacher to the Loreto Entally community in Calcutta at
St. Marys School for girls. She chose the name Sister Mary Teresa in honor
of St. Teresa of Avila and made her First Profession of Vows. In 1937, she
made her Final Profession of Vows, becoming, as she said, the spouse of
Jesus for all eternity. In 1944, she became the schools principal.
In September, 1946 whilst traveling on a train, as she mentioned, she
received a calling from God "to serve Him among the poorest of the poor."
She added that Jesus begged her, Come be my light. In 1948, Pope Pius XII
granted her request to leave the Sisters of Loreto and live as an independent
nun. Swapping her traditional habit for a simple white sari with a blue border,
she found temporary lodging with the Little Sisters of the Poor in Calcutta.
There she started an open-air school for the homeless children of the area. She
wrote in her diary that her first year was fraught with difficulties. Without any
income, she had to resort to begging for food and supplies. During these early
months, she experienced doubt, loneliness, and temptation to return to the
comfort of convent life. However, soon with voluntary helpers, sponsors and
financial support from church organizations and the municipal authorities, she
started to bring in men, women and children that had been left dying on the
streets of Calcutta to a small rented room where the Sisters could care for
these helpless people rejected by local hospitals.
Mother Teresa received permission in October 1950 from the Vatican to
start her own order known as the Missionaries of Charity. The Charities
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mission, in her own words, was to care for "the hungry, the naked, the
homeless, the crippled, the blind, the lepers, all those people who feel
unwanted, unloved, uncared for throughout society, people that have become
a burden to the society and are shunned by everyone." The Missionaries of
Charities first hospice was an abandoned Hindu temple; she called it Kalighat,
Home for the Dying, which was a free hospice for the poor. Soon after this
she opened another hospice, Nirmal Hridaya (Pure Heart), a home for lepers
and Shanti Nagar (City of Peace), an orphanage. By 1960's, the Missionaries
of Charity had established Leper houses, orphanages and hospices all over
India.
In 1965, Pope John Paul granted Mother Teresas request for an expansion
of her order into other countries. The Missionaries of Charity started with 12
nuns in Calcutta; today it has over 4,000 nuns running charity centers
worldwide. Mother Teresa was operating 517 missions in more than 100
countries by 1996. Reportedly, there are over one million coworkers
worldwide that assist in the operation of these missions today.
The list of awards Mother Teresa received during her lifetime is quite long.
Among others, she won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979 and Indias highest
civilian honor, the Bharat Ratna for her humanitarian work. She has been
praised for her humanitarian services by many individuals, governments and
organizations. However, she also faced a diverse range of criticism for her
philosophy and its implementation and for her struggles with faith. Catholic
newspaper editor David Scott wrote that Mother Teresa limited herself to
keeping people alive rather than tackling poverty itself. Exposing her view on
suffering, i.e. suffering would bring people closer to Jesus, Sanal Edamaruku,
President of Rationalist International, criticized her failure to give painkillers
even in hard cases.
Mother Teresa suffered numerous health problems, including two heart
attacks, the first in Rome, while visiting Pope John Paul II in 1983 and then
the second in 1989 and received a pacemaker; she also suffered a bout of
pneumonia while in Mexico. Her resignation as head of the order was rejected
in 1994, as all the nuns voted that she should stay. However, in March 1997,
she stepped down from her position of head of the Missionaries of Charity.
Suffering from series of health problems, she died on September 5, 1997, just
9 days after her 87th birthday.
Mother Teresa was granted a full state funeral by the Indian government,
an honor usually reserved for presidents and prime ministers. Serving the
downtrodden, she planted seeds of goodness throughout the entire world. Her
presence left an indelible print of kindness and holiness that earned her the
reputation of a "living saint." Mother Teresa was formally beatified by Pope
John Paul II on October 19, 2003 with the title Blessed Teresa of Calcutta.
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Mandakini Hiremath
It is appropriate to remember that she once wrote, If I ever become a Saint

I will surely be one of darkness. I will continually be absent from Heaven
to lit the light of those in darkness on earth.
Though born centuries apart, these women chose strikingly similar goals in
their ardent spiritual quest. They sought their deity, free of death and decay, as
their soul mate. Each proclaimed that her mind, body and soul belonged to her
soul mate. Facing their own share of contemporary scandal and criticism with
conviction, they gracefully attained a status of living saint. They stand
eternally in the annals of spiritual history.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Krishna and his divine flute

Krishna is a cosmic musician, and the tune he creates by playing his

transcendental flute is embodied with cosmic energy. As Krishnas divine
flute calls at any time of the day or night, nature, which is mesmerized by the
captivating celestial tune, responds: Lakes and rivers overflow with water,
expanding their banks because they are desirous of embracing Krishnas lotus
feet. Drinking the opulent water, Mother Nature is perennially pregnant with
luscious green, and trees and vines are unseasonably laden with fruits and
flowers.
Seeing nature coming alive and thinking that spring has arrived, peacocks
dance, and birds sing and chirp. Krishnas beloved cows stand tranquilly with
their ears spread just to catch the nectar-filled tune flowing out of his flute.
Gopis lose their selves in this tune. For them, music becomes the voice of
love, which is too passionate and secretive.
One must understand Krishna to understand the power and magic of his
flutes tune. Though it is presented on this Earth, it was created for Krishnas
abode, so there are strings attached to the pastime. The frequently offered
explanation is that all living creatures stilled by the captivating tune of
Krishnas flute are his companions of past times, scholars and sages who are
interested in the Vedic knowledge that flows through the tune of his flute. To
perceive that knowledge, one must be so absorbed in the music that he must,
essentially, lose his self.
The flute is bamboo reed with eight holes specially carved from the main
opening to the end. The player blows through the top hole and controls the
other seven holes as he brings out the songs of his heart. He expresses
irresistible joy on his reed. When Krishna is depicted as being between the age
of 5 and 8, it is always with his flute. Therefore, during this period, he is aptly
called Murlidhara (murali means flute, and dhara means hold), signifying
the one who holds the flute. He is never without it, whether he is with his
mother, on the grazing grounds with his herd of cows, among his cowherd
companions or roaming around on the Jamuna banks. As 8-year-old Krishna
leaves Gokula and his companions to free his biological parents and King
Ugrasena by vanquishing Kamsa, Radha waits for Krishna on the way. As
Krishna asks the driver to stop the cart, Akrura asks, Who is she? Krishna
responds, Everyone is drawn to me, but I am drawn to her!
Radha applies an auspicious tilak (vermilion mark) on Krishnas forehead.
Krishna asks her if she wants to say something to him. She responds,
Something can be said only to him who does not perceive. I know, as well as
you know; then what else needs to be said? As Krishna, with tearful eyes,
offers his flute to her, Radha responds, Keep it with you as my memory; its
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filled with my hearts yearning call for you. Krishna promises her that he
alone will listen to that call, and hereafter his flute will be silent for the rest of
the world.
Symbolically, the flute in Krishnas hand can be any ordinary being. All
mystical literature is profoundly and uniquely replete with reasoning
suggestiveness. Each personality is structured with eight spots, i.e., with five
organs of perception (seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching) and
mind, intellect and ego. The Almighty God fills us with his breath life
and plays upon these spots to bring out the melody He wants. If our ego takes
over and we try to sing our own songs, we may bring wrong notes to His
divine music. If we allow an uninterrupted and faithful flow of His will, He
shall ever keep us in His hand to create harmonious music that may please us,
and keep us happy and content.
Krishnas life on this Earth was a tragedy from his birth to death. Krishna
never complained nor felt discouraged. Instead, he was always joyous and
performed his duties. Even though he lived in the midst of misery, he rose
above the joys and sorrows of life. Lord Krishnas life sets an example for
man to change his attitude toward life, and exemplifies how one should live
his life and perform his duties. Krishna is the mysterious glory that has
uplifted and continues to uplift the Vedic culture.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Maha Shivaratri, the great night of Shiva

One of the most observed Hindu religious festivals, Maha Shivaratri

(maha means great and ratri means night, so the phrase means the
great night of Shiva) falls on the 14th day of the dark fortnight in the month
of Maagha (i.e., mid-February through mid-March). However, the 14th day of
each dark fortnight of the other remaining months in a year is observed as
Shivaratri (the night of Shiva). Linga, also addressed as Shivalinga,
Shivalingum, Lingum, Ishwar or Mahadeva, is an oval-shaped stone,
representing the abstract form of the God Shiva and symbolizing the power
behind the creation, which is worshipped during Shivaratri. Shiva, which
means auspiciousness, is one of the Hindu Trinity, comprised of Brahma,
the Creator; Vishnu, the Preserver; and Shiva or Mahesh, the Destroyer and
Re-Producer of life. Shiva is the most sought-after deity amongst the Hindus.
He is renowned as a god of immense large-heartedness who generously grants
the wishes of his devotees.
The scriptures state that during the night of Maha Shivaratri, 12 majestic
Jyotirlingas (Jyoti means fire, light, and Linga representing fire,
symbolizing life) dazzled the world with their appearance in Indias diverse,
distant geographical areas. A legend behind the emergence of Jyotirlinga
Mahakaleshwar (Mahakal means Eternal and Ishwar means Master or
Superior, i.e., God) in the city of Ujjain, Madhya Pradesh, India, is noted in
Adi-Brahma Puran: A powerful demon from Ratnamal Mountain unjustly
attacked Avanti (the present-day Ujjain) and burned alive a Brahmin sage who
was engrossed in meditation. Lord Shiva, infuriated, opened his third eye and
burned the demon to ashes. (When Shiva opens his third eye at crises, fire
emerges to annihilate the evil, re-create light and restore righteous order.) On
that very spot where the demon was demolished instantly appeared the
Jyotirlinga Mahakaleshwar. Thus, Mahakal (who has neither beginning nor
end) Shiva, as per the Vedas, manifested himself as LINGA to make
mankind aware of the presence of Eternal Time. And at this very instant, the
other 11 Swayumbhu (meaning that they sprung up by themselves)
Jyotirlingas emerged at assorted places in India. And then, in due course,
temples were built to enshrine them. Annals of history show that occasionally
temples have been renovated; however, the original holy idol has been left
untouched for ages. The Linga Puran depicts Shiva as Lingodbhava (born of
or emerged from the Linga) and interprets Linga as a cosmic pillar,
symbolizing the infinite nature of Shiva, and represents the superiority of
Shiva as Mahadeva (Great God). Though Shivalinga is the most common
object of worship all over India, these 12 Swayumbhu Jyotirligas are believed
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Mandakini Hiremath
to be holier, and pilgrimage to these at least once in a lifetime sets free the
pilgrim of all his evil doings and thereby leads him to better status in the
afterlife and, ultimately, liberates him from the cycle of birth and death.
This Maha Shivaratri event is more of an observance for spiritual
enhancement than a celebration. Ardent devotees begin the day observing fast,
offering prayers, hymns in praise of Lord Shiva and repeating the mantra:
Aum Namah Shivaya. They pay attention towards selecting the right kind of
Ishwar, the time of worship and all the Vedic rituals and traditions that are
involved in observing this event. Each month on Shivaratri, Shivalinga,
without an image of Lord Shiva and/or His consort Parvati or a snake as is
commonly seen, is worshipped. However, since this was the night when Lord
Shiva manifested as Lingobhava with the emergence of Mahakaleshwar
Jyotirlinga, an exception is made for Maha Shivaratri worship. Thus, the
Linga, accompanied by an idol of Lord Shiva and/or Parvati, may be
worshipped with all the grandeur only at Maha Shivaratri. Maha Shivaratri
puja begins at sunset and continues with two-hour intervals until midnight.
Thus, it comprises of four individual pujas. While performing the Abhishek
(bathing the Linga) bells are rung and the devotees chant the names of Lord
Shiva. At the end of the first puja, Linga is bathed with milk, the second puja
with curds, the third puja with ghee (clarified butter), and the final puja
culminates with honey. From midnight until sunrise, jal (pure water) is offered
on the Linga, and hymns and praises are sung to invoke blessings, and also
discourses relevant to the occasion are read, for a vigil is maintained until
sunrise. After the sunrise, worshipers break the fast by eating the food, fruit
(Prasad) that was offered to the deity during the worship while praying for
spiritual growth, health and peace.
The Maha Shivaratri puja observation must pass through the midnight.
This year, according to the lunar calendar, Maagha Thrayodashi (the 13th day)
ends at 5:34 p.m. Saturday, March 9. Then begins the Chaturdashi (the 14th
day), and it ends at 5 p.m. Sunday, March 10. Therefore, in order to for Maha
Shivaratri to extend through midnight, the worship will begin at sunset
Saturday, March 9.
The Shiva Puran mentions the six ingredients for Maha Shivaratri worship:
the ceremonial offer of the Bilwa leaves (Aegle marmelos), representing
purification of the soul; the vermilion paste applied on the Linga after bathing
it, representing virtue; the food offering, which is conducive to longevity and
gratification of desires; incense, yielding wealth; the lighting of the lamp,
which is conducive to the attainment of knowledge; and betel leaves marking
satisfaction with worldly pleasures. However, the most important articles for
worship in this puja are pure water to bathe the Linga and Bilva leaves to
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offer. After all, the God Almighty is pleased just by our pure-hearted sincere
devotion.
May we all be blessed on this holy occasion.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Holi, Festival of Colors

March 2015
One of the ancient, major festivals, Holi is celebrated on a grand scale by

all Indians at the approach of vernal equinox on the last full moon day of lunar
calendar in the month of Phalguna, which usually falls in March. The festival
marks the end of winter and the abundance of the upcoming spring harvest
season. Holi is also known as a Festival of Colors, a Spring Festival and a
Festival of Love.
This holiday celebration starts about sunset on the eve of Holi. Bonfire is
lit in parks, community centers, near temples and other open spaces. Playing
musical instruments, people gaily sing and dance to the beat of drums around
the bonfire that burns effigy of the demoness Holika. The bonfire made up of
dried leaves, splintered branches and fallen twigs left through the winter serve
the purpose of cleaning debris and making way for spring. However, Holi in
India has an agrarian connotation. It is to win the Gods blessings for fertility
of the land for bountiful harvests. People piously invoke Agni, god of fire, by
humbly offering gram and stalks from the recent harvest. There is a practice of
taking a flame from the bonfire to light hearth at homes to get rid of darkness
and diseases. Metaphorically, the fire destroys evil.
Numerous legends associated with Holi celebration make the festival more
exuberant and vivid. According to scriptures, demon king Hiranyakashipu
demands everyone in his kingdom worship him. However his son, Prahlad,
worships Lord Vishnu. Hiranyakashipu vainly tries to kill him by various
ways. Assured that his sister, Holika, is immune to fire, he lays Prahlad on her
lap and makes her sit on a pyre. Acknowledging the spirit of oneness and
devotion, Prahlad stands unscathed, while Holika is reduced to ashes.
Eventually, Hiranyakashipu is killed by Narasimha, Vishnu incarnate.
This occasion celebrates death of Pootana, the ogress, also. While executing
Krishna's evil uncles plan, she tries to kill infant Krishna by breastfeeding her
poisonous milk. Krishna, Vishnu incarnate, sucks her breast until she breaths
her last.
In the South, Holi is called Kamadahanam. Kama is the Indian
mythological god of love, passion and desires and dahanm means burning.
The legend is Daksha mocks Shiva in front of Sati, his own daughter and
Shiva's consort, which results in Sati's self-immolation. Renouncing his
worldly duties, Shiva engrosses in severe austerities. Concurrently, powerful
Tarakasur (asur means demon, a demon named Taraka) receives a clever
boon that he could be killed only by Shivas son. Thinking that wifeless
Shiva, indifferent about the worldly affairs, could hardly beget a son,
Tarakasur brings heaven on the verge of collapse. Yet, Sati, reborn as Parvati,
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Mandakini Hiremath
is in penance to acquire Shiva as her husband. Thus, fearful gods request

Kamadeva to bring Shiva back to his original self. Though aware of dire
consequences, for the good of humanity, Kamadeva targets Shiva with his
arrow. On awakening, Lord Shiva, infuriated, opens his third eye to reduce
Kama to ashes. Unerringly, love-struck Shiva marries Parvati. Eventually,
their son Kumar is born, and Tarakasur is killed.
In absence of Love, the whole world turns sad and dull. Rati, Kamadevas
wife, pleads Lord Shiva for her husbands revival, since Kamadeva had
simply complied with gods plan. An embodiment of love, Shiva grants the
wish. With Kamadevas revival, the aesthetic enjoyment in Nature and
humankind are reborn. Thus, as triumph of divinity over evil-minded ugliness
is celebrated, Prahlad, for his staunch devotion, and Kamadeva, for his
ultimate sacrifice to extinguish the evil spirit, are worshipped.
The next morning Holi is celebrated. Krishnas mythological presence in
Holi is undisputed. A legend is that dark skinned young cowboy Krishna, who
enjoys playing pranks on his beloved Radha, despairs whether fair skinned
Radha likes him. His mother, tired of his desperation, asks him to approach
Radha and color her face as he desires. This playful coloring of Radhas face
henceforth has been commemorated as Festival of Colors. In Vrindavan,
Krishnas birth place, the celebration lasts ten days.
Holi morning, children and youth spray colored powder solutions at each
other, while elders laugh and enjoy merrymaking by tossing and smearing dry
colored powders on each other's face. (Traditionally, plant-derived medicinal
herbs are used for colors.) Only after teasing with colors, the visitors are
treated with Holi delicacies and drinks. After the playing and cleaning up,
people bathe, put on new clothes, and go on visiting to wish family and
friends 'Happy Holi'.
The cultural significance of Holi also marks the start of spring, a time to
anew life. The traditional ideas of good versus evil and upholding of moral
values borne out by several mythical events are associated with Holi
celebrations. As its motto has been forgive, forget and move forward, this
festival bridges the social gap, renews and strengthens relationships.
This year, Holi is celebrated on Friday, March 6.
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Mandakini Hiremath
THANKSGIVING DAY
COLUMNS
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Mandakini Hiremath
Are we truly thankful for the unique gift of life?

Thanksgiving Day, November 28, 2002
The word "Thanksgiving'' itself indicates giving. Giving, an act of

kindness, leads us to spirituality.
In October 1621, the custom of celebrating Thanksgiving spread
throughout the colonies after the celebration of the first New England
Thanksgiving festival, which was held under the leadership of William
Bradford, the governor of the colony. In 1789, President George Washington
proclaimed a day of thanksgiving "to acknowledge the providence of
Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to
implore his protection and favor ... the 26th of November next to be devoted
by the people of these States to the service of that greater and glorious Being.''
Thanksgiving Day continued to be celebrated in the United States on
different days in different states. Sarah Josepha Hale, editor of Godey's Lady's
Book, wrote letters for more than 30 years to governors and presidents, asking
them to make Thanksgiving Day a national holiday. Finally, in 1863,
President Abraham Lincoln issued a White House proclamation calling on the
''whole American people ... with one heart and one voice in observing the last
Thursday of November to implore the interposition of the Almighty hand to
heal the wounds of the nation and to restore ... the full enjoyment of peace,
harmony, tranquility, and union.'' He also requested that people express
heartfelt thanks for the ''blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies.''
Giving thanks is viewed as a spiritual reaction to the benefit received.
Giving thanks through prayer is an act of communication by humans with the
divine. Thanksgiving Day is an occasion for family and friends to gather
together to give thanks for the blessings of the past year and to share
traditional meals. The theme of Thanksgiving has always been peace and
plenty, health and happiness.
We should learn to develop the art of thanking God not just once a year or
for a few material things but for everything at every possible moment. We
should be thankful for prosperity, for it encourages us to move forward in life,
and for adversity, for it opens our eyes to the deeper facts of existence; for
pleasure and for pain; for youth and for old age; for birth and for death; and so
on. Above all, we should be grateful for the overall majesty of life. Each life
itself is truly a gift from the creator.
But many times I wonder if we are grateful for and happy with this unique
gift.
Although Jesus tells us to ''love thy neighbor as thyself'' (Matt. 19:19), the
question is, ''Do we love ourselves?'' We are rarely content with our looks. We
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always are expressing our discontent with being too thin or too round, too
short or too tall, and so on.
We must realize that being thankful makes everything better. Having
mature personalities, we must develop a spirit of humility -- an awareness that
the divine self permeates our existence. Life should be filled with gratitude,
thankfulness, dedication and sweet surrender to the Lord Almighty all the
time.
While talking about these qualities, I can't help remembering Lori and
Reba Schappell, 40-year-old conjoined twins from Reading, Pa. They have
two distinct brains but are joined at the left side of their skulls, which has kept
them from seeing each other. Therefore, where one goes, the other must.
Reba, who has spina bifida, is four inches shorter than Lori, so her sister
wheels her around on an adaptive wheeled stool. They live lives only a few
can imagine. Despite their unimaginably huge challenges, both sisters
graduated from public high school, and each has taken college classes. Reba
went along for six years while Lori worked full-time in a hospital laundry, a
job she gave up in 1996 so that Reba could launch a country music career.
Reba has performed in Atlantic City, N.J., Japan, and Germany. Lori dances
along as her sister sings to the demo tape.
I watched Lori and Reba being interviewed on Larry King Live. What
amazed me was their positive attitude, firm faith in the creator, and their
dreams for the future. They refuse to be separated through the help of
advanced medical technology. They say that this is the way that God has made
them, and they have no regrets for staying that way. When Mr. King asked
them if they ever second-guess, Lori's response was, ''Why should one second
guess his decision? He made us this way. We are wonderful -- healthy. We
both have great lives.''
''I don't live every day thinking about the fact that I'm a conjoined twin,''
Lori also said. "It's not the biggest thing in my life.'' While talking about her
goals, Lori said, ''So when it comes, it comes. I live wonderfully from day to
day.''
I respect their unwavering faith in the creator and admire their positive
attitudes. What can be more beautiful than this?
I believe we should learn to count our blessings and be thankful for all the
wonderful things we have received from the Lord Almighty. I concur with the
late Rev. Norman Vincent Peale, who wrote, ''Cultivate your blessings with a
grateful heart. Then watch them grow!''
Happy Thanksgiving to all of us!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Appreciating the unique gift of life

November 26, 2003
The Mayflower left England with the Pilgrims nine weeks behind
schedule; as a result, the New Worlds harsh weather threatened their very
survival. That winter more than half of the heads of household perished.
Aboard the ship, only five of the eighteen wives lived through the ravages of
scurvy, pneumonia, and tuberculosis. Only a few can imagine the terror this
crew went through. Those who werent ill themselves doubtlessly tended to
whimpering children, prepared food for their stricken mothers, and comforted
the ever-increasing number of orphans aboard the ship.
One might wonder how the Pilgrims could talk about giving thanks in the
midst of lifes most difficult trials. They gave thanks for Gods presence in
their adversity because they knew that struggles could make them better and
help them open their eyes to the deeper facts of existence. Giving thanks is
viewed as a spiritual reaction to the benefit received. Giving thanks through
prayer is an act of communication by humans with the divine. Thanksgiving
Day is an occasion for family and friends to gather to give thanks for the
blessings of the past year and to share traditional meals. The theme of
Thanksgiving always has been peace and plenty and health and happiness.
The Pilgrims celebrated Thanksgiving Day in October 1621, feasting on wild
turkey and Indian corn, with the human spirit reaching out to God in gratitude
for the blessings and overall majesty of life.
Many times I wonder if we are grateful for and happy with this unique gift
of life. I read the story Niagara Suicide Plunge Helps Man Affirm Life in
the Thursday, October 23, 2003, edition of The (Columbia) State. The
columnist, Carolyn Thompson, writes, In a telephone interview with ABC
News, Jones said he didnt want to go on living when he climbed over a
guardrail and into the churning Niagara River on Monday. . . . But I can tell
you after hitting the falls, I feel that life is worth living.
Walking away virtually unharmed, being charged with mischief and
unlawfully performing a stunt, and being fined about $7,600, Kirk Jones
thinks he was saved for a reason and feels reassured that life has much to
offer. What a costly way to learn how to appreciate life, the most valuable
gift of all! But for him the experience was worth it; however, I hope others
learn to appreciate the gift of life by learning from his experience, without
going to such an extreme.
With regard to appreciating the unique gift of life, I remember reading a
story by Nicole Jones, Highway to Heaven: Roadside Prophet Travels Daily
to Bring Message to Orangeburg, printed years ago in The Times and
Democrat, and now I am amazed to learn that the prophet has kept up his
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practice of spreading the gospel for about ten years. He declares himself a
full-time employee of Christ.
A husband and father, 71-year-old Prophet William Drakeford drives his
late-model pick-up truck about 80 miles each day, except Sunday, from his
hometown, Camden, to Orangeburg to preach, teach, offer spiritual and
inspirational guidance, and pray in the name of Jesus. He begins his work day
at 8:30 a.m. with dedication to serve God and to make others happy and leaves
about 4:00 in the afternoon unless he has late visitors.
The reason for his service in Orangeburg, Drakeford states, is that God told
him to do so, and he will continue until God tells him to stop. I only preach
what God tells me, Drakeford confirms. We got to have a personal
relationship with him and we got to know him, this prophet insists. He urges
people through his preaching to know the Lord, to be holy, and to be
baptized in the Holy Spirit. Many come to visit his ministry for real stuff,
which they cant get find in church and for counsel and faithful prayers. They
consider him a man of God.
Thus, this prophet has found his destiny and is fulfilling his call by making
others happy by motivating and uplifting them spiritually through his service.
I admire Mr. Drakefords devotion and perseverance. Spirituality can be
experienced in life anywhere, but a being like Drakeford is rare. I thank God
for this unique gift on behalf of his congregation. May God bless him with
good health and long life to continue to serve his mission.
These stories make us realize the Lord Almighty is the Master Weaver, and
each life is a planned fabric. Without losing a sense of wonder, be thankful to
be a thread of gold and silver in His hand, for He is the one who knows best.
He weaves the fabric in the pattern He has planned.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of us.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Be thankful for every little perk

Thanksgiving Day, November 2004
The word Thanksgiving itself indicates giving. Giving, an act of

kindness, leads us to spirituality. In 1789, President George Washington
proclaimed a day of thanksgiving to acknowledge the providence of
Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to
implore his protection and favor . . . the 26th of November next to be devoted
by the people of these States to the service of that greater and glorious
Being. . . .
Thanksgiving Day continued to be celebrated in the United States on
different days in different states. Mrs. Sarah Josepha Hale, editor of Godeys
Ladys Book, wrote letters for more than 30 years to governors and presidents
asking them to make Thanksgiving Day a national holiday. Finally, in 1863,
President Abraham Lincoln issued a White House proclamation calling on the
whole American people . . . with one heart and one voice in observing the
last Thursday of November to implore the interposition of the Almighty hand
to heal the wound of the nation and to restore . . . the full enjoyment of peace,
harmony, tranquility, and union. He also requested that people express
heartfelt thanks for the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies.
Divine. We should learn to thank God not just once a year but for everything
at every possible moment. We should be thankful for prosperity, for it
encourages us to move forward in life; for adversity, for it opens our eyes to
the deeper facts of existence; for pleasure and for pain; for youth and for old
age; for birth and for death. Above all, we should be grateful for the overall
majesty of life and every little perk we are granted by the Lord Almighty.
Life is a difficult journey of change and growth; however, it transcends us.
It teaches us how to appreciate the perks we receive every day. Monday,
January 26, 2004, dawned bleak and bitter cold in Orangeburg, and within
hours the result was the areas worst winter disaster in the last three decades.
It made us realize how much we take for granted. During this ice storm, we
experienced the loss of heat, TV, computer, the Internet, and much of our
contact with the outer world. We walked around flipping electric switches or
sat on a comfortable couch under layers of blankets. A group of friends
constantly stayed on the phone and complained about the cold and the
inconvenience, while utility and emergency road services crews, despite
disastrous snaps, crackles, pops, uprooted trees and fallen lines, faithfully
worked in the icy rain and freezing cold to restore electricity and clear away
the storms mess.
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I never enjoyed reading the Times and Democrat as much as I did during
those four days. The Wednesday, January 28, issue especially made me realize
how much trouble the T&D crew had gone through. The column written by
the publisher, Cathy Hughes, You trust us to be there every time, served as
documentary evidence of how much they cared for the community and were
determined to fulfill community expectations.
Reflecting on the icy fury that made Orangeburg look like a war zone, we
learned to be thankful for the heroes in the tough times and to appreciate
everyday perks that we take for granted, such as getting the daily newspaper
to stay informed, flipping on switches to light our houses and keep them warm
in winter and cool in summer, turning on the tap to run cold and hot water.
Pray for those who walk miles to fetch a pail of water, for those, about 840
million, who go hungry, for the even greater number that suffer from
malnutrition, for those who die during inclement weather, for those who have
to sell their kidneys to survive, and for the thousands of refugees who live day
to day in a camp, some on the brink of death, with the threat of deadly disease
always near.
This years brutal hurricane season has reminded us of the might of Mother
Nature and the ordeals humans have to go through to survive natures wrath.
Be thankful for being spared and pray for those who have suffered. Make
gratitude, being thankful, a discipline in our lives. As we grow in discipline
and love of lifes experiences, our understanding of the world and our place in
it naturally grows apace.
Be thankful and proud for we live in the land of the free and the home of
the brave. Salute our brave men and women who are fighting overseas to
safeguard freedom and pray for their safe return home soon. Peace to those
who have gone Home to be with God, strength and courage to the families
living every moment in anxiety and to those who are enduring the ordeal of
the loss of their loved ones. May they continue to live in His will.
Tennyson writes in his poem Skylark: We look before and after and
pine for what is not. I believe we should learn to count our blessings and be
thankful for all the wonderful things we receive from the Lord Almighty. I
concur with late Rev. Norman Vincent Peale, who wrote, Cultivate your
blessings with a grateful heart. Then watch them grow!
Happy belated Thanksgiving to all of us!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Thanksgiving: Be thankful for what?

This Saturday, a rather warm sunny afternoon, I sat in my courtyard

thinking about writing a Thanksgiving column. A couple noticed me and
walked into my yard towards me. They introduced themselves as Jehovahs
witnesses and asked me, Do you think God loves us? My immediate
response was, Of course, God loves us! I wondered why one should even
question His love for us.
Its true that life hasnt been easy for all. Mother Nature has repeatedly
displayed her brutality. Starting with a tsunami on December 26, 2004, caused
by an underwater earthquake, engulfing the coastal areas of Sri Lanka and
Indonesia, and, in addition, affecting at least 11 other countries, the world has
suffered from one natural calamity after another. Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, and
Wilma destroyed parts of the Gulf Coast states in the United States, and
mudslides in Guatemala and a massive earthquake in Pakistan and Kashmir,
India, have killed an enormous number of people and devastated the
survivors, who have lost both their loved ones and their means of survival.
Those who have been forced to live through such ordeals might be skeptical
about Gods love in this world and wonder if God is angry and trying to
punish them. Those who are struggling to survive the traumatic aftermath of
natural disasters might be forgiven for inquiring in desperation, What should
we thank God for?
However, let us not forget the very inception of the Thanksgiving tradition.
The Mayflower left England with the Pilgrims nine weeks behind schedule;
as a result, the new worlds harsh weather threatened their very survival. That
winter more than half of the heads of the household perished. Aboard the ship,
only five of the 18 wives lived through the ravages of scurvy, pneumonia, and
tuberculosis. Only a few can imagine the terror this group went through.
Those who werent sick were doubtlessly tending whimpering children,
preparing food for stricken mothers and comforting the increasing number of
orphans aboard the Mayflower.
One might wonder how the Pilgrims could talk about Thanksgiving in the
midst of lifes most difficult trials. They gave thanks for Gods presence in
their adversities because they knew that the struggle could make them better,
and help them open their eyes to the deeper facts of existence. Giving thanks
is viewed as a spiritual reaction to the benefits received. Giving thanks
through prayers is an act of communication by humans with the divine.
Thanksgiving Day is an occasion for family and friends to gather to give
thanks for the blessings of the past year and to share traditional meals. The
theme of Thanksgiving has always been peace and plenty, health and
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happiness. The Pilgrims celebrated Thanksgiving Day in October 1621,

feasting on wild turkey and Indian corn, the human spirit reaching out to God
in gratitude for blessings and the overall majesty of life.
The number of those lost in the Iraq war has passed 2000. Our thoughts
should be with the families that have lost loved ones and those who have
returned home physically and/or mentally wounded, unable to cope with the
hardships of life.
These young soldiers who have died will never grow old. They will not
celebrate birthdays. Their pictures sit quietly in newspapers; after the
newspapers have been discarded, they will be forgotten, although their
parents, wives, children, brothers and sisters will never be able to forget them.
Its well known that death comes with war, but Shakespeare makes it clear
that nobility arises not from the conflict but from the courage carried in battle
by one individual soul, that of a soldier lost by those who loved him.
Thanksgiving is an occasion to thank these families of American solders
for what they have given to our country. Its time to count our blessings, to be
thankful for every little perk that is bestowed upon us by the grace of the Lord
Almighty. And its also time to be concerned about those who are sad over
losing their loved ones or devastated by losing all their earthly possessions
and being forced to start all over due to natural disasters. Lets keep them in
our prayers and encourage them by being as helpful as we can; and lets hope
that our thoughtfulness, concern and love make them realize that as long as
they are healthy and alive, there is a hope. When hope is all they have, they
still have a lot.
Therefore, lets count our blessings and be thankful for the majestic gift of
life.
May our Thanksgiving be filled with health and happiness and peace and
plenty.
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Mandakini Hiremath
The majestic gift of life

November 17, 2006
Last year during Thanksgiving, I asked a couple of my colleagues, What

are you thankful for? One responded, For my life, for being alive, and the
other said, For my good health and family.
The theme of Thanksgiving always has been peace and plenty and health
and happiness. Thanksgiving Day is an occasion for family and friends to
gather to give thanks for the blessings of the past year and to share traditional
meals.
As I reflect on my colleagues impromptu responses, I realize more and
more how we ought to be grateful for and happy with this unique gift of life
and how important good health is to appreciating life and family. Our
happiness depends on our being healthy. All the material possessions, the
delicious food in the refrigerator and pantry, good looks, valuable jewelry and
favorite designer outfits, fat bank account, and even friends and family may
seem valueless when one isnt feeling well. Sickness deprives us of our taste
to enjoy good food, and desire to dress up. We might even like to be left alone
to indulge in misery of the sickness all by ourselves.
Its hard to understand the importance of good health, until a person gets
ill.
Farrah Gray defied the odds. Beginning as a 6 year old entrepreneur in
Chicago's tough Southside neighborhoods, he sold painted rocks as bookends
and paperweights and went on to creating his own brand of lotion. He
eventually founded the Urban Neighborhood Enterprise Economic Club at age
8 and became a mega-celebrity, a self-made millionaire by the age of 14.
Today, in his twenties, Gray has everything material he would want; however,
he is yearning for something his money cannot buy. He is searching for an
African American organ donor and hoping to save his beloved sisters life.
Gray's sister, Greek Gray was diagnosed with AML, Leukemia a year ago.
After having been in remission for only six months, she recently relapsed. She
now needs a bone marrow transplant.
She was like a surrogate mother to me. She took care of me when I was
little; my mother was working, says a devastated Gray. When things like
these happen, its natural to feel helpless, regardless of how wealthy and
powerful one is.
May God bless Greek Gray; let us hope she finds the right donor.
Though this is only a publicized example, most of us have been sick at one
time or the other and havent forgotten how anguished we felt at that times
making us reflect that the clich, if you have health, you have everything,
carries a heavy truth.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Health and happiness go hand in hand. As Izaak Walton writes, Look to

your health; and if you have it, praise God and value it next to a good
conscience for health is the --- blessing that we mortals are capable of, a
blessing that money cannot buy. George William Curtis says, Happiness
lies, first of all, in health. Life without good health may seem meaningless.
Remember the very inception of the Thanksgiving tradition. In times of
ordeals and tragedies, the Pilgrims celebrated Thanksgiving Day in October
1621, feasting on wild turkey and Indian corn, with the human spirit reaching
out to God in gratitude for the blessings and overall majesty of life.
The new worlds harsh weather threatened the very survival the Pilgrims.
That winter more than half of the heads of households perished. Aboard the
ship coming over, only five of the eighteen wives lived through the ravages of
scurvy, pneumonia, and tuberculosis. In the midst of lifes most difficult trials,
they gave thanks for Gods presence in their adversity because they knew that
the struggle could make them better and help them open their eyes to the
deeper facts of existence. Our giving thanks is a spiritual reaction to the
benefits received.
Let us count our blessings and express our heartfelt thanks for the
blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies, and the majestic gift of life.
May our Thanksgiving be healthy and happy, and filled with peace and
plenty.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Count our blessings thankfully

I am sure we all have stories to tell about our losses and sufferings.
However, these experiences are inevitably bound with the territory called life.
Therefore, instead of looking before and after and pining for what is not, we
need to learn how to count our blessings and be thankful not just on
Thanksgiving Day but each day of our life. We must learn to appreciate what
we have and make the best of the situation that we are blessed with.
Developing a lifestyle of gratitude is gratifying because I believe thankful
people are happy people.
Here is an inspiring story to help us appreciate and be thankful for the
Creators blessings of our life with all our faculties intact, which we may
easily take for granted.
Robert Bob J. Smithdas is an author, poet, lecturer, deep-sea fisherman,
gardener, art collector and gourmet cook. He has been married to Michelle for
29 years. She too is a writer, lecturer, exercise buff and cake baker. The
couple holds bachelor and masters degrees and both are recipients of
honorary doctorates.
However, they have only three of the five senses. They live their life in
silence and darkness. They both are deaf and blind. Their story is a
remarkable testament to the resilience of the human spirit. The couple lives a
relatively self-sufficient life, cooking by touch, using teletype-style phones
and computers, wearing pagers that vibrate to signal the ringing of the
telephone or doorbell and doing all their own housekeeping and chores, at
their home. They travel extensively and enjoy a social circle that includes not
only the deaf-blind, but also sighted and hearing friends. They both are
teachers at the Helen Keller National Center on Long Island and have received
numerous awards for their work in the training and rehabilitation of the deafblind.
Advocate for the deaf-blind, Bob Smithdas is the director of community
education at the Helen Keller National Center for Deaf-Blind Youths and
Adults in Sands Point. He lost his sight and hearing at the age of 4, when he
contracted cerebrospinal meningitis. Unable to hear the sound of my own
voice, I gradually lost my feeling for the pitch and stresses that give speech its
human character, he wrote in his 1958 autobiography, Life at My
Fingerprints. He learned to communicate through POP, the print-on-the-palm
method of printing block letters on the palm of the hand. He is one of a few
deaf-blind persons skilled in the use of Tadoma, which enables him to place
his right thumb on the lips of the speaker and his fingers over the vocal chords
to interpret what is being said.
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With the assistance of sighted, hearing friends who attended class with
him, Smithdas transcribed all his textbooks into Braille. He was the first deafblind person, after Helen Keller, to graduate from St. Johns University in
1950 and at the top of his class. In 1953, he became the first deaf-blind person
to earn a masters degree from New York University in the field of vocational
guidance and rehabilitation of the handicapped. Articulating each word
precisely, reportedly, he lectures extensively before audiences nationwide.
Thanks to Braille, he was avid reader by his teens; he reads 20 magazines a
month, ranking from The Economist to Popular Mechanics to Martha Stewart
Living. He understands the stock market and operas.
In addition to teaching how to cook over a hot stove, how to crack open an
egg and save the yolk, how to do office work and use computers, Mr. and
Mrs. Smithdas teach the other deaf and blind people deaf-blind Braille,
vocabulary, sign language, and other communication skills. To promote her
profession, Mrs. Smithdas has written an instructional Braille book for the
deaf-blind, because most Braille books are geared for the blind only.
In short, they both prepare their pupils to live organized, independently happy
lives. Their top mission is to teach the deaf-blind to live and work to the best
of their capabilities and as independently as possible. They feel that this is the
best lesson they can offer, in the way they have overcome adversity in their
own lives. Despite the enormous obstacles the couple faces in accomplishing
even the minutest tasks of daily life, they told ABCs Barbara Walters, as she
interviewed them, that they feel happy and are grateful for what theyre able
to do and what they have. They see their life full of opportunities rather than
limits. They lead their life full of love, work, hobbies, and humor. Its
awesome to learn about the Smithdases and what they have achieved with
only three of their senses.
The lesson here is a life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
thankful, despite the setbacks, and who make the most of what they have
received. A sense of gratitude can turn a negative into a positive. We must
learn to find a way to be thankful for even our troubles, for they may turn into
blessings.
Remember the very inception of the Thanksgiving tradition. In times of
ordeals and tragedies, the Pilgrims celebrated Thanksgiving Day in October
1621, feasting on wild turkey and Indian corn, with the human spirit reaching
out to God in gratitude for the blessings and overall majesty of life.
The new worlds harsh weather threatened the very survival of the Pilgrims.
That winter more than half of the heads of households perished. Aboard the
ship coming over, only five of the eighteen wives lived through the ravages of
scurvy, pneumonia, and tuberculosis. In the midst of lifes most difficult trials,
they gave thanks for Gods presence in their adversity because they knew that
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Mandakini Hiremath
the struggle could make them better and help them open their eyes to the
deeper facts of existence.
Our giving thanks is a spiritual reaction to the benefits received. Let us
count our blessings and express our heartfelt thanks for the blessings of
fruitful fields and healthful skies, and the majestic gift of life.
plenty.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Learning to be thankful
November 26, 2008
The times have been tough. People are working harder, making less and
paying more. Added to the economic desperation and uncertainties were
human negligence and Mother Natures fury (gusty winds 70 mph). Many
unfortunate victims of the Sylmar area of northern Los Angeles have lost
everything they owned. Four hundred forty-eight mobile homes in Oakridge
Mobile Home Park were destroyed.
It was sad to watch on the news an 84-year-old sitting in devastation with
her wedding album and her husbands ashes, the two items she fled with while
escaping from the fire.
More than 800 houses, mobile homes and apartments were destroyed. In
addition to 10,000 acres in the Sylmar area, fires blackened more than 3,500
acres, from Santa Barbara to Los Angeles and counties to the east. Seems like
people there are drowning in a hopeless situation and there isnt much to be
thankful for.
Giving thanks in tough times and finding gratitude amid hardship are not
easy. Some have lost their homes in foreclosures; some have lost their jobs;
some have been laid off; while others have watched their retirement savings
go down the drain and fear for their savings. People are feeling overly stressed
and rather sick; however, getting ill at a time like this is perilous; to suffer
from illness without health insurance is frightening.
However, despite the tough times, we watch on TV and hear many
expressing their gratitude for just being alive. Its the American spirit to
overcome challenges, create great achievements and enjoy prosperity.
Thanksgiving is a yearly tradition when we pause to appreciate the bountiful
harvest we reaped. Thanksgiving Day is an occasion for family and friends to
gather to give thanks for the blessings of the past year and to share traditional
meals. After all, to most the word Thanksgiving conjures up images of turkey
dinner, pumpkin pie and watching football with family and friends.
Giving thanks is viewed as a spiritual reaction to the benefits received.
Giving thanks through prayers is an act of communication by humans with the
divine.
The theme of Thanksgiving has always been peace and plenty, health and
happiness. We should make a habit of living in the moment and learning to
appreciate what we have. We should learn to rejoice gratefully in Gods
blessings and take time to thank Him each day. The only solutions at times
like these are avoiding stress and seeking comfort in faith, family and friends.
Its scientifically proved that being grateful by nature or learning how to be
grateful can actually be good for our health. Grateful people admit that they
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Mandakini Hiremath
have more energy. Theyre more enthusiastic, have fewer aches and pains,
sleep better, get more exercise, have lower blood pressure and are more wellliked by others. Gratitude seems to energize and elevate people.
We should make a habit of writing down each night before going to bed
five things for which we are grateful and then read the writing next morning
before the start of our new day. It definitely will help us to start our day in a
cheerful mood and on a positive note so that wed look forward to making
your day a success.
A key is we should learn to count our every little perk and be thankful for
all the wonderful things we have received from the Lord Almighty. I concur
with the late Rev. Norman Vincent Peale, who wrote, Cultivate your
blessings with a grateful heart. Then watch them grow! Maybe this years
Thanksgiving celebration returns to a simpler, less materialistic time.
May our Thanksgiving be healthy and happy and filled with peace and plenty.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Lets count our blessings

Part I
Last year during Thanksgiving, I asked a couple of my colleagues, What

are you thankful for? One responded, For my life, for being alive. The
other said, For my good health and family.
The theme of Thanksgiving always has been peace and plenty, health and
happiness. Thanksgiving Day is an occasion for family and friends to gather
to give thanks for the blessings of the past year and to share traditional meals.
As I reflect on my colleagues impromptu responses, I realize more and more
how we ought to be grateful for and happy with this unique gift of life and
how important good health is to appreciating life and family. Our happiness
depends on our being healthy. All the material possessions, the delicious food
in the refrigerator and pantry, good looks, valuable jewelry and favorite
designer outfits, fat bank account, and even friends and family may seem
valueless when one isnt feeling well. Sickness deprives us of our taste to
enjoy good food and desire to dress up. We might even like to be left alone to
indulge in the misery of sickness all by ourselves.
Its hard to understand the importance of good health, until a person gets
ill.
Jeff Kepner, a 57-year-old retired Air Force educational planner and a
former pastry chef from Augusta, Ga., received a double arm transplant, the
first in the nation, at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Centre on May 4,
2009. Twenty-one surgeons worked in teams of four: two prepared Kepners
forearms and two simultaneously prepared the donors hands. It took a team
of 10 surgeons nine hours of meticulous work to attach the donors forearms
on to what was left of Jeffs forearms just below the elbow.
Kepner lost his hands in 1999 after contracting a virulent strep infection
that quickly spread through his entire body. Sepsis set in both his lower legs
and hands, and doctors ultimately had to amputate his legs below the knee and
arms below the elbow. He adjusted to life on prosthetic hooks on his arms and
titanium rod prosthetics on his lower legs. He was able to drive and hold down
a job at Borders. However, he has been dependent on his wifes schedule.
To understand how dependent he was, one has to just consider his morning
shower routine. For much of the past decade, Mr. Kepner has had to put on
special prosthetic water legs to get into the shower, and then wait for his
wife, Valarie, to get in with him to brace him and scrub him. She gets up for
work at 4:30 a.m., and that meant he had to as well. In anticipation of
regaining some of his independence after being on her schedule for years, the
Kepners met with Dr. W.P. Andrew Lee, the hospitals chief of plastic
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surgery, who spoke with them about the complications caused by number of
anti-rejection drugs that hold back limb transplants. Though the drugs would
prevent rejection, they would damage other body systems and increase the risk
for diabetes, infections and other complications.
However, Lee put their mind at ease by informing them about a new
UPMC procedure of infusing the recipient with marrow cells harvested from
the donor after the transplant. The procedure seems to prime the body to be
more receptive to the foreign tissue, and allowed Lee to administer just one
anti-rejection drug to Kepner, instead of three.
Kepner, once a star softball player in the U.S. Air Force team, has shown
no sign of rejection. After four months of steady progress, he could slightly
clench his fingers and thumb, but what he really wanted to do is be able to feel
his wife and 13-year-old daughter, Jordans, hands, when he holds them. The
last of three children still at home, Jordan was 3 when he became an amputee.
Kepner has to wait about a year to feel the touch; the nerves need to grow into
his new hands. With growth of 2.5 centimeters a month, in two years his
hands should be as fully functional as they can be, Lee said.
Pleased with his new hands, Kepner comments, The donor was hairier
than I. Im tickled with the results of that. He impatiently added, I want to
try these hands out. I want to put them to use. He is looking forward to
showering and dressing himself without his wifes help; to cooking and doing
things around the house and being fully independent. As he waits to get that
back, he has to undergo intensive physical therapy to train his new hands, and,
in addition, Kepner also has to learn again how to walk on new prosthetic
legs; he has had to undergo double hip replacement too, damage resulting
from steroids during his original treatment.
The Kepners are happy to see the new arms and are thankful to the donors
family, doctors, nurses and the staff. All the parties involved are happy for
accomplishing the mission. He is hopeful of living an independent normal
productive life.
The lesson here is a life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
thankful, despite the setbacks, and who make the most of what they have
received. A sense of gratitude can turn a negative into a positive. We must
learn to find a way to be thankful for even our troubles, for they may turn into
blessings.
Life is a difficult journey of change and growth. However, we try to stop
fretting and stop taking things for granted and, instead, learn to count our
blessings and be grateful for every little perk we receive.
Tennyson writes in his poem Skylark, We look before and after and pine
for what is not.
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Mandakini Hiremath
I believe, instead of pining for what is not, we should focus on what we

have and others dont. We should learn to be thankful even if we could just
walk on our own two feet, fold our hands to pray and feel our loved ones
touch as we hold their hands. Count our blessings and be thankful for all the
wonderful things we receive from God Almighty. I concur with the late Rev.
Norman Vincent Peale, who wrote, Cultivate your blessings with a grateful
heart. Then watch them grow!
May Thanksgiving be filled with health and happiness, peace and plenty.
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Mandakini Hiremath
The rest of the story

Part II
The day after Thanksgiving, November 28, 2009
My Thanksgiving column, Lets count our blessings, about double-armtransplant recipient Jeff Kepner would not be complete without this
complementary piece. One must not forget that most transplant stories are
interwoven with sadness. Of the two parties involved, for one there is an
anticipation of hope and healthy normal life; for the other there is the end of
life and the families, with unbearable vacuum in the heart, must prepare to
bury their loved one.
However sad it is, death is ultimate. The moment it occurs, the human
frame called the body becomes a corpse and starts decaying. However, if one
wants to make death a new beginning and find solace in a humanly possible
way, I believe a better way to immortalize the departed is to donate his or her
organs before they turn into dust or ashes and help save someone elses life
and improve several others quality of life.
Jeff Keen from Pennsylvania died instantly in an accident. He was just 23
years old, the father of a 1-year-old son and the youngest of four brothers.
Jeff Keen wanted to help people, perhaps by becoming a nurse or a
counselor. He never realized those career ambitions, but, in death, he is
helping people through organ donation, said one of his brothers. He would
have been proud to know that in the first U.S. double-hand-transplant, his
hands were grafted onto another man at the University of Pittsburgh Medical
Center, and his marrow cells were infused into the recipient later to minimize
the need for anti-rejection drugs.
In addition, his liver, kidneys, heart and a lung went to five other people
and 30 to 50 others could benefit from his donation of tissue and corneas, said
Holly Bulvony, a spokesperson for the Center for Organ Recovery and
Education.
The late Jeff Keen believed strongly in organ donation. He signed up to be
a donor when he first got his drivers license and urged his mother to become
one, too. Jeff had a remarkably caring and loving heart that I often aspire to.
Going through this process, its really opened my eyes to the incredible
potential of organ donation, said Daniel Rossi-Keen, his oldest brother, a
college professor. Though the family is still grieving, knowing their loved
ones organs have helped so many people has been redemptive. The doublehand transplant was the first moment of joy I felt during this entire tragedy,
said the donors mother in a statement.
Rossi-Keen said he appreciated how the Center for Organ Recovery and
Education treated them during this devastating time. They listened to us,
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Mandakini Hiremath
cried with us, answered questions. They made a very tragic situation beautiful
and hopeful, Rossi-Keen said.
Nearly 100,000 people are on the U.S. organ transplant waiting list. On an
average day, about 77 people receive organ transplants. But thousands more
never get that call from their transplant center saying a suitable donor and a
second chance at life has been found. Nationwide, about 101,000 people are
waiting. According to CORE, about 37 percent of Americans are registered
organ donors. About 28,000 transplants were performed in America in 2008.
Being an organ donor is a generous and worthwhile decision that can be a
lifesaver.
Dr. W.P. Andrew Lee, Kepners surgeon, said the donor familys act
should make people think beyond just declaring themselves as organ donors.
The donors should think of other body parts, as well. At some point, leg
transplants will also be possible. Jeff Kepner is an example of how organ
donation can change ones life and his familys life.
While being interviewed, Mrs. Kepner said her husband is upbeat, which
is the same attitude that has sustained him since the time of his amputations.
However, they havent forgotten the farsighted generous decision of the donor
and the sacrifices made by the donors family. Mr. and Mrs. Kepner express
boundless gratitude to the family. They have been in touch with the Keens.
I cant help but notice that both, the donor and the recipient, have the same
first name. Makes me wonder if its just a coincidence or Gods intricately
destined mysterious plan.
Let us count our blessings and express our heartfelt thanks for Gods
presence in our adversity. We know that the struggle makes us better and
helps us open our eyes to the deeper facts of existence. Our giving thanks is a
spiritual reaction to the benefits received.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Learning to count our blessings

When my son told me he will be traveling two weeks in Thailand during

Thanksgiving, my immediate response was, "Oh! So you won't be home for
Thanksgiving."
"No, Mom! I don't need to be home to give thanks. And I don't need to
wait until Thanksgiving to show my appreciation for the blessings I have been
granted," he said.
I agree with my son's viewpoint.
Divine. We should learn to thank God not just once a year for a few material
things but for everything at every possible moment. We should be thankful for
prosperity, for it encourages us to move forward in life; for adversity, for it
opens our eyes to the deeper facts of existence; for pleasure and for pain; for
youth and for old age; for birth and for death. Above all, we should be grateful
for the overall majesty of life and every little perk we are granted by the Lord
Almighty.
Life is a difficult journey of change and growth. It teaches us how to
appreciate the perks we receive every day. It's hard to believe where the
inspiration to count our blessings may come from.
On one weekend, I watched a segment of "Work With Me" broadcast in a
series on Good Morning America. This story was about 24-year-old Grace
DeBoer, who works two jobs, both in the food service industry. On her first
job, five to six days a week at Panera Bread bakery and cafe in Shererville,
Ind., she waits tables and preps big catering platters for hungry customers.
Grace begins her day at 6:30 a.m. By 11 a.m., she is faced with the lunch
stampede. Making sandwich after sandwich from scratch according to a
customer's order, on a normal day she ends up preparing about 250
sandwiches by the end of her shift. She feeds about 415 hungry customers.
Then after eight hours on her feet, she goes home for about an hour to change
her clothes before heading toward her second job, just down the road from her
first. She works five nights a week at Boston's Gourmet Pizza as a waitress.
Grace says her ultimate goal is, "Pay off my bills. I've got a lot of bills,
especially hospital bills, because I didn't take care of myself and my diabetes
for a while there. And I have to pay the cost now. I didn't have insurance. And
I'm paying the price."
Grace lives at home with her parents and two sisters. A diabetic since
childhood, her failure to manage her disease landed her in the hospital and,
without health insurance, her bills started piling up.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Encouraged by her boyfriend, who is going to school to become a

restaurant manager, Grace started working in the food industry after being laid
off from a job she loved working for four years as a teacher's aide. Her job
was eliminated as a result of budget cuts. She is $20,000 in debt. Making
$2.13 an hour waiting tables in Indiana, still she is barely able to pay her bills.
Despite knowing she will be on her feet from sunup until long after sundown,
Grace says that it's not a hard job but a tiring one. Not only must Grace turn
on her smile for two shifts of customers, she has to remember two full menus,
separate restaurant policies and different computer systems.
"Sometimes I'll go home and I'll just sit there and hug my pillow and cry
because I'm working so hard and sometimes it feels like a dead end," says
Grace. "But when the bills get paid, and I have a couple of extra bucks, it
makes it worth it."
Counting her blessings, Grace is up again the next day at dawn.
If Grace can be thankful, so can many of us. A key is we should learn to count
every little perk and be thankful for all the wonderful things we have received
by the grace of the God Almighty.
I concur with the late Rev. Norman Vincent Peale who wrote, "Cultivate
your blessings with a grateful heart. Then watch them grow!"
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Mandakini Hiremath
Each day a Thanksgiving

When my son told me he will be traveling two weeks in Thailand during

Thanksgiving, my immediate response was, "Oh! So you won't be home for
Thanksgiving."
"No, Mom! I don't need to be home to give thanks. And I don't need to
wait until Thanksgiving to show my appreciation for the blessings I have been
granted," said he.
I agree with my son's viewpoint.
Divine. We should learn to thank God not just once a year for a few material
things but for everything at every possible moment. We should be thankful for
prosperity, for it encourages us to move forward in life; for adversity, for it
opens our eyes to the deeper facts of existence; for pleasure and for pain; for
youth and for old age; for birth and for death. Above all, we should be grateful
for the overall majesty of life and every little perk we are granted by the Lord
Almighty.
Life is a difficult journey of change and growth. It teaches us how to
appreciate the perks we receive every day. It's hard to believe where the
On one weekend, I watched a segment of "Work With Me" broadcast in a
series on Good Morning America. This story was about 24-year-old Grace
DeBoer, who works two jobs, both in the food service industry. On her first
job, five to six days a week at Panera Bread bakery and cafe in Shererville,
Ind., she waits tables and preps big catering platters for hungry customers.
Grace begins her day at 6:30 a.m. By 11 a.m., she is faced with the lunch
stampede. Making sandwich after sandwich from scratch according to a
customer's order, on a normal day she ends up preparing about 250
sandwiches by the end of her shift. She feeds about 415 hungry customers.
Then after eight hours on her feet, she goes home for about an hour to change
her clothes before heading toward her second job, just down the road from her
first. She works five nights a week at Boston's Gourmet Pizza as a waitress.
Grace says her ultimate goal is, "Pay off my bills. I've got a lot of bills,
especially hospital bills, because I didn't take care of myself and my diabetes
for a while there. And I have to pay the cost now. I didn't have insurance. And
I'm paying the price."
Grace lives at home with her parents and two sisters. A diabetic since
childhood, her failure to manage her disease landed her in the hospital and,
without health insurance, her bills started piling up.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Encouraged by her boyfriend, who is going to school to become a restaurant

manager, Grace started working in the food industry after being laid off from
a job she loved working for four years as a teacher's aide. Her job was
eliminated as a result of budget cuts. She is $20,000 in debt. Making $2.13 an
hour waiting tables in Indiana, still she is barely able to pay her bills.
Despite knowing she will be on her feet from sunup until long after
sundown, Grace says that it's not a hard job but a tiring one. Not only must
Grace turn on her smile for two shifts of customers, she has to remember two
full menus, separate restaurant policies and different computer systems.
"Sometimes I'll go home and I'll just sit there and hug my pillow and cry
because I'm working so hard and sometimes it feels like a dead end," says
Grace. "But when the bills get paid, and I have a couple of extra bucks, it
makes it worth it."
Counting her blessings, Grace is up again the next day at dawn.
If Grace can be thankful, so can many of us. A key is we should learn to count
every little perk and be thankful for all the wonderful things we have received
by the grace of the God Almighty.
I concur with the late Rev. Norman Vincent Peale who wrote, "Cultivate
your blessings with a grateful heart. Then watch them grow!"
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Mandakini Hiremath
Say, "Thank you"

Thanksgiving Day, November 2011
Whenever I come across a handicapped, a disabled, or mentally impaired

person and notice people viewing his abnormal behavior with pitying eyes, I
am reminded of a movie, The Children of a Lesser God. This 1986 film tells
the story of a speech teacher at a school for deaf students who falls in love
with a deaf woman who also works there. I believe these children are called
of a lesser God because they are considered less fortunate. However, I am
troubled by the term lesser God. I fail to understand how the Almighty God
with an immeasurable treasure of wealth and riches, the creator of the
universe, a merciful heavenly father to every creature that is born on this
earth, could ever be lesser.
Life is a spiritual encounter. It is filled with blessings, the love and grace of
the Almighty God, the supreme power of this universe. Life is presented both
as a free gift and as a reward merited by those who earn it. And God loves all,
though while enduring tough times, one may be tempted to question, Does
God love everybody impartially?
Though it is hard to count the ways of Gods love, the nature of Gods love
is mysteriously complicated. I have come to believe that Gods love is
balanced in His own way. It is easy to tag an unfortunate child as of a lesser
God by looking at him superficially; however, I believe, each child is
compensated by the Heavenly Fathers blessings in a chosen aspect of his life,
which obviously bestows Gods love.
Here is an inspiring story to help us appreciate and be thankful for the
easily take for granted.
Musical savant Derek Paravacini is gifted with a computer-like memory,
exceptional ability to instantly call up any complex piece of music hes ever
heard and creative abilities to transform effortlessly and seamlessly pieces
after just one hearing into the style of different musicians, like jazz greats.
Using karate chops and elbows, 3-year-old Derek played one of the hymns the
family had heard in church that morning, since he couldnt see the pianist
using his fingers. However, he had begun excitedly bashing the keys with his
elbows, palms and knuckles as well as fingers to play a keyboard at 2. And
soon he was playing nursery rhymes and hymns. Derek had never met a piano
teacher, until he literally crashed into one during a visit with his parents to a
school for the blind. The music teacher Dr. Ockelford was in the middle of a
lesson. Derek literally pushed him off the piano stool, and just started karate
chopping the keyboard in chaotic notes, but then suddenly the teacher noticed
out of all of that was coming Don't Cry For Me Argentina. He's brilliant.
It's like he's got libraries of pieces and styles in his head, says Dr. Ockelford.
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Mandakini Hiremath
With his skillful fingers, the pianist delights his audience with note perfect
performances of works by Paganini, Bach, Pachelbel and Rimsky-Korsakov.
Making his public debut in 1987, he has played at venues from Ronnie Scott's
to Buckingham Palace and at the Barbican with the Royal Philharmonic
Orchestra. However, this genius who is blessed with incredible ability is
unable to count, dress himself, or speak in proper sentences. Neither his
perfect fingers that dance on piano to capture his audiences hearts nor his
incredible brain that helps him memorize every complex piece after only one
hearing helps him to button his shirt or count the years of life he has lived or
how long he has been delightfully awing his audience. He is blind, autistic,
and severely handicapped, suffering mental impairment.
Derek Paravacini, in his 30s, was born prematurely weighing just 1lb 5 oz.
Dereks mother, Mary Ann, is the sister of Andrew Parker Bowles, Duchess
of Cornwall Camilla's first husband. He grew up in an upper class British
family; however, now he has to live in community housing and needs roundthe-clock supervision.
Dr. Alan Ockelford, who has trained Derek for 20 years, said, "He has one
of the most extraordinary minds of our time, unique in its particular cocktail
of extreme abilities and inabilities". His extraordinary ability has allowed him
to memorize thousands of classical, jazz and pop tunes - earning him the
nickname of the Human iPod.
To reemphasize, lets consider the movie The Children of A Lesser God,
itself. Lets take a fresh look at the real life of the lead character, a troubled
young deaf woman working as a cleaner at a school for the Deaf and Hard of
Hearing in New England. Shes Sarah Norman played by Marlee Matlin who
won the 1986 Academy Award for Best Actress. Aged 21 at the time, she is
the youngest actress to have received an Oscar for Best Actress. Almost
completely deaf in real life since the early age of 18 months, Matlin has since
gone on to become an established film and television star and remains active
in charities for the deaf and hearing impaired around the world. She is happily
married to Kevin Grandalski, law enforcement officer and has four children.
Thus, she too is gifted and blessed by the Almighty in a special way.
It's said, "Man looks before and after and pines for what is not;" however,
it's time to change that saying to: Man looks before and after and graciously
appreciates what he has and says, "Thank you." Our giving thanks is a
spiritual reaction to the benefits received. Developing a lifestyle of gratitude is
gratifying because I believe thankful people are happy people.
Thus, we should learn to count our blessings and express our heartfelt
thanks for all the wonderful things, including the majestic gift of life, we
receive from the God Almighty not just on Thanksgiving Day but each day of
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Mandakini Hiremath
our life. I concur with the late Rev. Norman Vincent Peale, who wrote,
Cultivate your blessings with a grateful heart. Then watch them grow!
plenty.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Relish lifes pleasures, be thankful

The theme of Thanksgiving has always been peace and plenty, health and
happiness. Giving thanks is viewed as a spiritual reaction to the benefit
received. Giving thanks through prayer is an act of communication by humans
with the Divine. We should learn to thank God not just once a year for a few
material things but for everything at every possible moment. We should be
thankful for prosperity, for it encourages us to move forward in life; for
adversity, for it opens our eyes to the deeper facts of existence; for pleasure
and for pain; for youth and for old age; for birth and for death. Above all, we
should be grateful for the overall majesty of life and every little joy we are
granted by the God Almighty.
Life is a difficult journey of change and growth. It is not always easy for
all. It teaches us how to appreciate the perks we receive every day. We should
make a habit of living in the moment and learning to appreciate what we have.
We should learn to rejoice gratefully in Gods blessings. Most of us face a
rough patch at one time or another in our lives. Its hard to believe where the
Jim Cotter from Glouster, Ohio was sad and lonely. His wife died the year
before. He missed her badly. He needed a grief medicine. He had noticed how
once a thriving coal community town had become dilapidated, peeling and
unappealing. For years, he wished that someone would fix it up. After his
wifes death, instead of moping in despair, he decided to be that someone and
turn his sadness into joy. Thus, earlier that summer, Cotter decided to make
his town of 2000 people a brighter place by setting out to paint. Cotter started
with a fire hydrant, moved down the road to the guardrail and then hit
everything in sight. He painted house after house, business after business all
for free.
After the story aired in May 2012, some people watching were so
impressed and inspired with Cotter and the transformation that they began
making pilgrimages to Glouster, some came even from other states, all
wanting to be part of it. Together they painted 17 houses, helping him to reach
his ultimate goal of painting the whole town, and inspiring other towns to take
on seemingly impossible tasks on their own.
Cotter brightened his heart by sprucing up his community with a new coat
of paint. Its just amazing what a little bit of paint will do, Cotter said, It
changes peoples hearts and inspires them to join in. It is hard to walk around
in Glouster without finding someone painting something; even the high school
kids have been helping. Cotters effort has made pretty much everyone want
to volunteer, donating their own time and their own materials to work on
buildings that arent even their own. Were getting something out of it
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Mandakini Hiremath
because it makes us feel better, a volunteer said. Seeing their lives and
businesses brightened and booming when people say, Thank you, and shed
tears of joy, the volunteers feel gratified.
Life runs its own course. We must live through it, even though at times it
may seem unbearable. While going through such difficult times, one may feel
that life has nothing to offer but lemons. Acknowledging that no one can
either control or alter the course of life in his favor, many people have chosen
to make lemonade out of lemons and savor the taste. Because they did, the
world has become a far better and safer place. For example, Candy Lightners
18 months old daughter, Serena, was slightly injured when a drunken driver
hit Lightners car from the rear. Six years later, her son, Travis, was run over.
With numerous broken bones and other serious injuries, he was in a coma. He
suffered permanent brain damage by an unlicensed driver who was impaired
by tranquilizers. Then her 13-year-old daughter, Cari, was struck fatally by a
drunken driver on May 7, 1980. Four days after the tragedy and a day after
Caris funeral, this grieving mother started the foundation MADD (Mothers
Against Drunk Drivers, though later changed to Mothers Against Drunk
Driving) in her den. MADD has evolved into one of the most widely
supported and well-liked non-profit organizations in America and has worked
to make a difference. Numerous lives have been saved because of her efforts.
As another example, in July 1981, six-year-old, Adam Walsh was abducted
and later decapitated, and in October 1993, twelve-year-old Polly Klaas was
abducted from her bedroom and was later strangled to death. Adam and
Pollys fathers, John Walsh and Marc Klaas have made a huge impact on child
abuse laws by organizing political campaign and through their foundations to
help missing and exploited children. The list is long. Most are just average
citizens who woke up to a particular cause and saw the need for change,
though they didnt have anything to be grateful about what they had endured.
But they took their grief and the memory of their loved one and decided to
pay tribute to them by making positive difference in others lives and made
others grateful for their efforts.
Its the American spirit to overcome challenges, create great achievements
and enjoy prosperity by making the best of a bad situation. One can easily see
eye-to-eye with Thomas Paine who wrote, I love the man that can smile in
trouble, which can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection.
Its the business of a little mind to shrink, but he whose heart is firm and
whose conscience approves his conduct will pursue his principles into death.
People who have lived through such a tough course of life are appreciated and
at times they are admired for their courage and hard work and are considered
as a source of encouragement in the community.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Thus, let us appreciate their efforts. And say, Thank you for their
positive contribution to the society. It is scientifically proved that being
grateful and learning how to relish lifes simple pleasures can actually be good
for our health. Grateful people admit that they have more energy. Theyre
more enthusiastic, have fewer aches and pains, sleep better, get more exercise,
have lower blood pressure and are more well-liked by others. Gratitude seems
to energize and elevate people.
May our Thanksgiving be healthy and happy and filled with peace and
plenty.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Thankful No matter what

From first Thanksgiving to this day, appreciating and saying thank you
Thanksgiving Day, Nov. 28, 2013
Let us reflect on the very inception of the Thanksgiving tradition: The

Mayflower left England with the Pilgrims nine weeks behind schedule; as a
result, a new worlds harsh weather threatened their very survival. That winter
more than half of the heads of the households perished. Aboard the ship, only
five of the 18 wives lived through the ravages of scurvy, pneumonia and
tuberculosis. Only a few can imagine the terror this group went through. If
one werent lying sick himself or herself, that person would doubtlessly be
tending whimpering children, preparing food for their stricken mothers and
comforting the increasing number of orphans aboard the Mayflower.
In times of ordeals and tragedies, the Pilgrims celebrated Thanksgiving
Day in October 1621, feasting on wild turkey and Indian corn, with the human
spirit reaching out to God in gratitude for the blessings and overall majesty of
life. One might wonder how the Pilgrims could talk about Thanksgiving in the
midst of lifes most difficult trials. The pilgrims gave thanks for Gods
presence in their adversities because they knew that the struggle could make
them better, and help open their eyes to the deeper facts of existence.
In this context, I recall 3' 3" tall, 31-year-old Nick Vujicic, who says, Be
thankful for what you have in life. You can either be angry for what you dont
have, or be thankful for what you do have. Do your best, and God will do the
rest. These are the words of a man who lives a life only a few can imagine.
He has worked hard to overcome his challenges and fears to be as selfsufficient as he can. He learned to brush his teeth, shave, cook his breakfast,
write and type. Along with these normal everyday activities, he swims,
skateboards, scuba dives, plays golf, soccer, etc., activities one might take
granted. It is amazing to watch him on the video, performing everyday
activities. Accomplishing every little thing has been a victory for him.
An Australian, now living in Los Angeles, Nick Vujicic was born healthy
but limbless, missing both arms at shoulder level and legless but with two
small feet and two toes on his left foot. I watched his mother Duka, a nurse,
along with his father, a computer programmer Boris Vujicic, being
interviewed on the CBS Sunday Morning news, saying that she didnt drink
even a cup of coffee or tea during her pregnancy, fearing that the caffeine
would harm her baby. Though, parents were healthy and pregnancy was
normal. Three sonograms failed to reveal complications. They were
devastatingly shocked to see that the baby was born with the rare TetraAmelia disorder.
Vujicic attended a mainstream school. His parents gave him an electric
wheelchair for mobility. He learned to write using his toes and a special
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Mandakini Hiremath
device and to use a computer to type using the heel and toe method.
However, Vujicic was constantly teased and bullied for the way he looked.
Enduring years of torment, feeling depressed, cold and bitter and wondering
who would care for him in his parents absence, Vujicic, at age 10, attempted
to drown himself in his bathtub. But, he confesses, his love for his parents and
his faith in Gods love prevented him from following through. A key turning
point in his life came when his mother showed him a newspaper article about
a man dealing with severe disability. Realizing that he was not unique in his
struggles, with renewed faith in the Creator and appreciation for life, he
embraced his limbless life, and worked hard to overcome incredible odds to
live a relatively normal, and at times extraordinary, life. At 21, Vujicic earned
his Bachelor of Commerce degree, with a double major in accounting and
financial planning. He says, It was very hard, but it gave me independence.
Forced to live through such ordeals, he realized that his accomplishments
could inspire others, so while in high school, he started speaking about his
physical and emotional battles at his prayer group. He noticed that the
audience admired his inspiring talk and realized that all people need is love,
hope and encouragement and that he was in a unique position to meet their
need. In 2007, Vujicic left Australia to be a southern Californian. Currently,
he is president of the international non-profit ministry, Life Without Limbs,
which was established in 2005.
He is no stranger to the spotlight. He has shared his story of hope and the
power of faith and been interviewed on various televised programs
worldwide, including 20/20, 60 Minutes, The 700 Club, and Oprahs
Lifeclass. Vujicic travels as a spokesman, inspiring the audience to cultivate
an attitude of gratitude, a positive self-image, courage to dream big. Thus, he
has become an international symbol of triumph over adversity. He tells the
audience, Not knowing exactly what lies ahead was scary, so I moved
forward in what I could know and not be afraid of what I didnt know. I
was thankful for what I did have instead of being angry for what I didnt
have. His core message is simple: Dream big and never give up. We all
make mistakes, but none of us are mistakes. Take one day at a time. Embrace
the positive attitudes, perspectives, principles and truths I share, and you too
will overcome Attitude is altitude is his mantra.
In his New York Times best-selling book Life Without Limits: Inspiration
for a Ridiculously Good Life, Vujicic writes, You may hit hard times. You
may fall down and feel as though you have no strength to get up. I know the
feeling. We all do. Life isnt always easy, but when we overcome challenges,
we become stronger and more grateful for our opportunities. What really
matters are the lives you touch along the way and how you finish your
journey. Vujicics life is a difficult journey of change and growth; however,
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it transcended him. He has learned to appreciate the perks he receives every

day. He does not see himself as disabled. He believes his life has no limits.
Today, he lives an independently-wealthy fulfilling life with his wife and
infant son. My life is now filled with joy and purpose, says Vujicic with a
smile. Thus, he stands tall with his passions and determination as a role model
for anyone seeking true happiness.
What an inspiring story to help us appreciate and be thankful for the
easily take for granted. Its said, Man looks before and after and pines for
what is not; however, its time to change that saying to: Man looks before
and after and graciously appreciates what he has and says, Thank you.
We should learn to count our blessings and express our heartfelt thanks for
all the wonderful things, including the majestic gift of life, we receive from
God Almighty not just on Thanksgiving Day but each day of our life. I concur
with the late Rev. Norman Vincent Peale, who wrote, Cultivate your
blessings with a grateful heart. Then watch them grow!
May our Thanksgiving be healthy and happy and filled with peace and plenty.
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Be thankful with each sunrise

While I was surfing the Internet, the title, Adult children are legally
required to care for aging parents in India, published in February, 2009,
brought me to a sudden stop. Caring for aging parents is deep-rooted Indian
culture as a duty, a moral obligation (dharma) of adult children. Curiously as I
spent more time browsing related columns, The aged suffer silently as
materialism steals their traditional seat of honor, Why India's youth are
abandoning their elderly parents and reading case after cases factual details
with fake names about how elderly parents are shamed, demoralized, and left
isolated in anguish. Their horrifying stories resonate, They didnt want me,
so they took all that I had and dumped me here. There were reports in the
Indian media about how police caught a man striking a deal with doctors and
an organ-transplant broker to sell his unsuspecting fathers kidney, taking him
to hospital for a check-up and then telling him he needed an operation.
Doctors say such practices are common. Many are ashamed even to recognize
their meek, frail parents publicly. Many among these abused seniors are high
ranked retired officers and government servants. How they reached this plight
at this stage of their life would be another full-fledged story.
The 2012 report by HelpAge India, a voluntary organization working for
abandoned and needy elderly people, reports: One in three senior citizens is a
victim of abuse. Some of the abuses we found are as brutal as severe beating
of elderly people by their own sons, daughters and daughters-in-law. The
millions of mentally, physically and financially abused elderly people thrown
out of their homes wander the streets as beggared. Volunteers bring them to
shelters. (As per 2011 India census, 81 million senior population, over 60)
I was deeply saddened to notice that the perpetrators are the family members.
Traditional Hindu couples do not deem their life fulfilled until they beget
children. Since daughters belong to the family they are given away with
dowry in marriage, sons are preferred. Sons are considered financial assets
and stand for the continuity and exalted image of the family; spiritually, they
help their parents reach better status in afterlife by performing their funeral
rites and thereafter yearly sraddha ceremonies to ensure their wellbeing in the
heavens. Parents are very possessive of their children. Working hard, living
modest, they try to recreate themselves through their own children by
spending a great deal of their time, energy, and earnings in bringing them up.
In return, the bond between the parents and children is expected to remain
intact even after the children grow up and get married; children are expected
to attend to their parents needs and to maintain health and wellness of aging
family members.
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If I hear any parents saying, Children are obligated to repay the debt
owed to their parents by supporting them in their old age, I cringe. Children
are not parents property. Prophet Kahlil Gibran specified centuries ago,
which echoes my thought: Your child is not your child. He is the child of
lifes longing itself. He comes through you, but not from you. He is with you,
yet he belongs not to you. You may give him your love, but not your thought,
for he has his own thoughts. You may house his body, but not his soul, for his
soul dwells in the house of tomorrow. Tomorrow is a mystery you can visit
not even in your dream. You may strive to be like him, but seek not to make
him like you, for life goes not backward, or tarries with yesterday. You are the
bow from which your child as living arrow is sent. The Archer seeks the mark
upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrow
may go swift and far. Let your bending in the Archers hand be for gladness,
for even He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves the bow that is stable.
Parents should be thankful to the Archer for blessing them with the
opportunity to parent the child, to rock his cradle, and to lend him their hand
when he tripped taking his baby steps, stared into their eyes helplessly with
tiny arms stretched, and for his relieved giggle and tight hug when they held
him in their arms.
Once in India four generations, grandparents, parents and their offspring
lived together, inter-depending and sharing the same religious values and
faith. However, the developing age of science and technology has shrunk the
world into a global family. Migration and new employment opportunities have
brought people from diverse cultural backgrounds together and, sometimes,
fall in love. Today, interracial marriages are deemed normal. Young couples
often value the freedom that the nuclear family offers.
Caring for the aging parents is wished-for, but one cant live in the past
glory. Family system is undergoing radical transformation. Senior population
is growing rapidly. Thus, caring for elderly has become worldwide crisis.
Nothing is worse than losing independence. One cannot be independent,
unless he has his own means to live. If one wants to avoid the misery in senior
years, he must learn to adapt and adjust to secure financial independence. It is
too late for the suffering seniors now, so to resolve the current worst case
scenario, let the government legally require adult children care for their
elderly. Hopefully, the younger parents learn from this situation and act
prudently to secure their independence long before they reach seniority. If you
are fortunate enough, your children may love you and care for you willingly,
which would be more gratifying than the legal requirement.
Many orthodox still practice the old fashioned way of living, follow
universal logic of karma, and lovingly care for the elderly. In addition, many
fortunate people usually work long enough to secure fiscal independence; the
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most of their children are highly educated and are in better position, making
more money than their parents did. Since here are no expectations on either
side, nones desire is thwarted. Contentedly, the family cordiality stays intact.
Lets keep in our thoughts and prayers the seniors that are suffering and
hope that the situation has improved by now. And count our blessings for the
support to, within reason, live the kind of life we want and be thankful not just
on Thanksgiving Day but with each sunrise.
May our thanksgiving be filled with peace and plenty, and may we be blessed
with health and happiness.
CHRISTMAS COLUMNS
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Stressed, lonely: Holiday leftovers

December 18, 2003
You are already stressed out for having spent months in planning and
preparing the menu, sending out the invitations and buying appropriate gifts,
wondering anxiously if everything is going to be perfect. Now you just have
been host for the grandest party of the year in your neighborhood. As the party
goes on, you are showered by the guests' compliments on immaculate
housekeeping skills, your exquisite tableware, delicious foods, good company,
and your look, along with your outfit. You feel happy and important with all
the compliments and flattery. Finally, the party is over; the guests have left,
and all that is left with you is leftover food, dirty dishes and empty glasses, in
addition, the messy house, and an overwhelming fatigue. Obviously, your
happiness has disappeared, and you are feeling strained, lonelier and doomed
in gloom more than before.
First of all, throwing parties to entertain family and friends and expecting
the best outcome is all humanly natural. However, by expecting too much out
of it, we are putting more burdens on our shoulders to heighten our stress
level. The cause of stress is anxiety and disappointment. We try extremely
hard to control external factors to achieve the infallible outcomes, though we
are reminded of Murphy's Law, meaning if something is going to go wrong, it
will. The expectations, despite our best efforts, always may not be met for one
reason or the other; as a result, we are disappointed. The appropriate attitude
should be to perform our actions and be satisfied by having done what and
how we wanted.
Secondly, if we are thinking to throw a party to rid us of our loneliness, we
are subject to disappointment. With this in mind, we must not forget the
famous quote by Steve Kissell, "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry
and you cry alone." Being lonely is considered a personal problem, and you
must find solution to that problem all by yourself, if not you will be crying for
your own problem, and you will have to cry alone.
Some people deny their loneliness by burying themselves in a heap of
projects, for they are afraid of being alone with themselves. Some try to rush
into relationships to avoid this loneliness; eventually, they smother others with
possessiveness. As a result, a series of unsuccessful relationships end up
"doomed in gloom."
Being alone is perfectly healthy, but being lonely is a disease. The only
cure for this disease has to come from within. The late Rev. Norman Peale
writes, "The man of faith believes that all things work together for good to
them that love God. Soul is immortal and that God is a Being with absolute
love in His heart." If one's faith is strong enough, it makes his awareness of
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divine compassion and protection so complete that loneliness vanishes and a

sense of companionship takes its place.
One should never underestimate the power of the mind. It has a strong
tendency to rationalize or excuse its own faults. Faith situates the light of
reason on the problem and enables the individual to receive the healing power
of God. There is a story about a woman trapped in an elevator stuck between
floors in total darkness during a power failure. Rescue workers hearing a
woman's voice inside call, "Are you alone in there?" "No! I am by myself,"
the response came calmly. Each one who realizes the Lord Almighty's
omnipresence knows that he or she is never alone. Moreover, Jesus, in
Mathew 28:20, has promised, "I am with you always, even unto the end of the
world." If one holds fast to that assurance, the dark shadows of loneliness will
fade away.
Moreover, if you are alone, not by choice, make the best of your aloneness
to avoid loneliness by finding your own interests like volunteering time where
the services are required, such as schools, community, church, etc., being a
mentor to children who are seeking one, or just being a friend to a friendless
person. Discover how getting involved can change your life. You will be
pleasantly surprised to realize that you are part of the resources of making the
world a better place. One who knows how to entertain himself is never
lonely. The true test of Divinity in us is our capacity to feel rewarded in
ourselves by ourselves.
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Make your holidays stress free

December 12, 2005
I asked one of my friends how her Thanksgiving was. We ended up

feeding 12 people Thanksgiving dinner with absolutely no planning, and it
went very well. If I had had to plan for it ahead of time, I would have been
worried about the menu, the house, if it was neat enough to invite guests to
entertain, or if I had enough chairs for everyone at the dining table, she
responded. Expressing her content, she added she was glad to see all happy,
enjoying the food, the event, and the company.
I am sure we all have realized time and again that events that materialize
on the spur of the moment have better success and higher satisfaction rate.
I believe the holidays are instituted to get time off from work, relax at
being released from a daily routine, spend time with loved ones, close family
and friends, eat traditional, comfort food, and reflect on the spiritual aspect of
life for inner peace and betterment.
Ones perfect holiday fantasy might be to settle in a comfortable chair in a
firelight warm room with feet up, a hot cup of coffee, tea, hot chocolate, or
eggnog in a hand, in a perfectly decorated house filled with the aroma of
wonderful foods, comforted by the thoughts of peace on earth and goodwill
toward all, family harmony, and merry times spent with friends and relatives.
However, in reality, jostling with crowds, traffic jams, a tight budget, a
shopping list that keeps on growing longer and longer, we find ourselves
stressed by the desire to satisfy everyone on the list and anxious about not
meeting everyones expectations, or dealing with hard-to-satisfy family
members, extra cooking, cleaning, and decorating. It seems that experiencing
a level of stress that might send one over the edge has become the norm
nowadays with the holidays.
The root reasons for being stressed are striving for perfection and trying
to please everyone. At times, too much planning may cause anxiety, which
results in stress. Throwing parties to entertain family and friends and
expecting the best outcome is all human and natural. However, by expecting
too much out of it, we are putting more burdens on our shoulders to heighten
our stress level. The causes of stress are anxiety and disappointment. We try
extremely hard to control external factors to achieve the infallible outcome,
though we are reminded of Murphys Law, meaning if something is going to
go wrong, it will. The expectations, despite our best efforts, may not always
be met for one reason or the other; as a result, we are disappointed. The
appropriate attitude should be to perform our actions to the best of our ability
and be satisfied by having done what and how we wanted. Thus, when we
stop considering perfection as pre-requisite, the outcome does not affect us, so
we are left free of stress.
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In addition, know what you want; you want to please you or others; check
your budget and know how much you want and can spend; otherwise, being in
debt will keep your stress level elevated even long after the holidays are over.
Choose prudently the family members and friends you want to invite or to
visit, so you dont have to deal with unanticipated and unwanted discussions
and emotional trauma.
If you think or even doubt that it is not going to work out in your favor
and you have no obligation to make yourself to go through this kind of torture,
you just stay by yourself dressed comfortably, curled under a warm blanket on
a comfortable sofa with a good book to read and a hot drink to sip, and take a
little nap when you want. This is not being alone; this is being by yourself,
being comfortable by yourself. I am sure you have experienced, at times,
loneliness even when you were in a large group of people. If you are going to
be alone, regardless, why not be yourself and comfortable in your own house,
do what pleases and comforts you and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
The key words are keep it simple, and make it fun and safe. Enjoy your
holidays, instead of making it burdensome, a chore.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

Christmas, season of hope
December 24, 2005
As Christmas approaches, the atmosphere fills with magic. Children start

talking about Santa and making a list of what they want Santa to bring them.
They sing Santa Claus is coming to town in the hope that their desires will
be fulfilled; they cautiously behave well, for they are told that Santa brings
gifts only to nice children. However, time and time again, the question is been
asked by someone, Is there a Santa Claus?
Weve read what Virginia OHanlon, an eight-year-old, wrote to the editor
of The Sun: Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus? And the
response she received from the editor was, Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa
Claus. The editor then provided elaboration: He exists as certainly as love
and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to
your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if
there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias.
There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make
tolerable this existence.
How appropriate the editors words are! The death of innocence is the loss
of paradise, the loss of faith in goodness. Without faith in goodness and
kindness, life is nothing but an intolerable chore.
The destruction and devastation caused by the wrath of Hurricane Katrina
remind us of the recent tsunami. Thousands of lives have been lost, and many
people are forced to restart, having lost all their material possessions. At times
like these its understandable if grownups have lists of their wishes that need
to be fulfilled by Santa. I am sure that at least a few who suffered the wrath of
Hurricane Katrina would admit that Santa Claus exists in reality; Santa is not
a figure of the imagination, as characters in fairy tales are.
Human dignity was ripped away as the hurricane victims lost their homes;
they were dying of hunger, thirst, and lack of medication. The game of fingerpointing was going on in the bureaucratic arena, and watching news on
television was depressing for the entire nation. The destruction at Long Beach
meant the linchpin of the Oreck disaster recovery planthe 76 miles between
Long Beach and New Orleanswas gone. I dont think any of us anticipated
a single storm taking out of both locations, said Tom Oreck when he learned
that 30% of Oreck employees had lost their homes. Realizing that they needed
shelter, food, water and help with insurance claims to help them move towards
normalcy, Oreck President and CEO Tom Oreck, the 54-year-old son of
company founder David Oreck, set up an 800 number and a rudimentary
website to collect employee locations and announced, We will ensure them
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safe and sanitary housing, food, water, and paychecks; if they were Oreck
employees before the hurricane, they still have a job.
The first ray of hope proved that every cloud has a silver lining. Against
all odds, Vacuum Cleaner Company, a family-operated Oreck corporation,
reopened Oreck Manufacturing Plant in Long Beach, Mississippi, on
September 9 to help employees rebuild their lives. Oreck purchased new
mobile housing units for employees; contracted for food, water and supplies;
purchased generators, storage tanks and thousands of gallons of diesel fuel, all
to help the companys 500 Mississippi employees.
Some 250 Oreck employees have lost their homes and all their possessions.
Twenty-five families are now living rent-free in an expanded trailer park; they
call it Oreckville. Oreck engineer John Bohlen, along with his wife, and the
vice president of this company are getting used to having their coworkers as
neighbors. We have got such an interesting mix of people, from customer
service to people out from the factory lines, to engineers, to the vice
president, said John Bohlen.
When praised for his visionary decision to help people with no place to live
and people the company cant live without, CEO Tom Oreck said, I think as
a family business, perhaps, we really do understand that it is a family of
people who work together. But it is about peoplefacilities, and thats what
really makes the difference, so thats really where our focus is.
Christmas is a time to believe in Santa and recognize his presence in the
people around us; they are silently making the differenceeven without the
suit and the jolly laugh. And its time to reiterate, Yes, Virginia, here is
another proof that Santa Claus is real.
Merry Christmas to all of us.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Sleigh bells ring: Was John Pierpont a failure?

An element of chance (or a miracle)
December 24, 2005
other, have been prisoners of our own fear, ambition, and greed. We are
taught and advised by our parents, elders and well-wishers to keep our goals
high and to go shooting for distant stars.
Despite perseverance and hard work, at times, our experience has proved
that we are not always guaranteed success in reaching that desired destination.
There is a supernatural element named by the different words, "chance,"
"destiny," "luck" or the phrase, "It was not meant to be."
Though expressed differently, they all mean the same. However, if one has
failed to reach his destination, that doesn't mean his life is a failure. He may
be honored unconditionally because of the element that hindered him from
being successful to begin with. We may call it a miracle, or simply a fortune,
or just a fluke.
In this context, I refer to the life story of John Pierpont. He was a teacher,
preacher, poet, lawyer, and candidate for Massachusetts governor and other
state offices. After having a superficial look at his life, browsing through the
pages of his biography, a reader might conclude that John Pierpont lived and
died as a failure. But I urge you not to arrive at this conclusion until you look
a little more closely.
Pierpont was born in New England in 1785. Graduating from Yale with the
class of 1804, following the example of many young men of New England, he
went to be a teacher in the Southern states in the autumn of 1805. He was a
private tutor in the family of Col. William Alston of South Carolina. But his
first teaching job didn't last long. He was told that he was too easy on his
students.
He went back to school to become a lawyer. He was admitted to the bar in
1812 in Essex County, Mass. But he failed to flourish in his legal career as
well.
He opened a dry goods store, but the business ended up in disaster, leading
him to bankruptcy.
Discouraged, he sought solace in literary pursuit; his literary aspirations
began to bear fruit, culminating in the publication of "The Airs of Palestine"
in 1816. Before this, he had delivered and published another collection, "The
Portrait," soon after the commencement of the second war with Great Britain.
He was good at composing poetry, but it didn't pay his bills.
Therefore, again he went back to school. This time he studied theology
with the goal of becoming a preacher. He left the seminary in October 1818.
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In April 1819, he was ordained as a minister of Hollis Street Unitarian Church

in Boston. Unfortunately, he was asked to resign by the first congregation.
Politics always had intrigued him, so he ran for governor of Massachusetts; he
lost big. To try his luck, he ran for Congress; again he lost, even bigger. In the
Civil War, at the age of 70, he served as a chaplain, but that job lasted only
two weeks. He died at the age of 71, as a clerk in the treasury department.
John Pierpont's life was filled with trials and failures. However, he didn't
dwell on the past experiences that no longer served his purpose. He worked
hard with enthusiasm and hoped to find his niche. He poured his heart into
everything he did and tried to be successful by treading many different ways.
He just didn't find himself good at anything, or it just didn't work out in his
favor for some reason.
Although a failure in all these ways, Pierpont accomplished something that
has touched us all. He had just returned from California, having failed to
strike it rich during the gold rush of 1849. Perhaps, the way the planets
aligned themselves in the cosmos, it was about time for his finest moment to
arrive. He was, allegedly, inspired during the winter time by sleigh races
through the center of town, as the sleighs passed along their route; town's
people braved the cold and cheered on their drivers, singing carols and other
songs.
Somewhere along the way, Pierpont wrote a song, a song so simple that
any child can sing it as cheerfully as Christmas itself, a song that connects
young and old by jingling each others heart and takes us on a sleigh ride right
into the heart by dusting off a bit of early childhood in each of us. John
Pierpont wrote "Jingle Bells," a piece of holiday magic, the song about
sleighs, horses, snow, and laughter. After all, the holiday season is a chance to
express our ventures into the empire of make-believe, fantasy and hope. He
accomplished this at the home of one Mrs. Otis Waterman, who had the only
piano in the town.
We know how life does not always give us what we want, but we might get
lucky if we keep trying hard and continue to do the best we can. We may be
rewarded by an element called "chance." Life happens in the process of
creating; you need not worry about the outcome, for it will be what it will be.
Now, I ask you again, "Was John Pierpont a failure?"
I am sure you will agree with me if I say, I dont think so!
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Black-eyed peas and collard greens

December 29, 2005
No champagne! No caviar! What a bummer! Start the New Year with

black-eyed peas and collard greens? Eat poor to save pennies and dollar bills
to get rich, healthy, and lucky!
We have heard that the tradition of eating black-eyed peas and collard
greens on New Years Day brings good luck throughout the year. Maybe for
the reason that beans have many seeds, like rice or eggs, they are considered a
symbol of fertility. Fertility was the basis for insuring old age in former times
and children a guarantee to secure future happiness. Collard greens are
considered lucky, for they are green like money.
Getting rich and lucky just by eating black-eye peas and collard greens is a
wonderful tactic to lure someone to do the right thing for his healths sake,
although if this were a physicians advice, many would frown at him. In
addition, this exemplifies that old traditions are not exclusive of science.
Black-eyed peas are high in protein and fiber, even considered as a meat
substitute, and greens are naturally high in iron and are known to prevent
diseases such as cancer.
It is believed that the occurrences of New Years Day have a way of
repeating themselves throughout the year. Therefore, starting the New Year
with good habits, such as eating healthy, may save one from making trips to
the doctors office. We are told time and again, Health is wealth. Your good
health puts you in a good mood and motivates you to work productively and
to be content and happy. So everyone wants to begin the New Year with a
positive attitude, wearing new clothes, eating good food, and being with
family and friends who encourage and inspire and help keep us in a good
mood. Everyone hopes to stay that way throughout the year.
Everyone wishes to be happy, healthy, and prosperous. If one is healthy, he
feels happy; if he is healthy and happy, he looks forward to each day with new
plans and hopes and feels less challenged. Our happy moods and positive
attitudes help to encourage others to be cooperative. When we work in an
environment filled with support and encouragement, we are inspired to strive,
to seek, to find and to refuse to yield. Undoubtedly, this entire recipe is one
for prosperity.
This tradition connects to the entire spectrum: New Year, New Years wish
and New Years resolution. Losing weight and getting in shape top every list
of New Years resolutions. And there is no better incentive than starting the
New Year by eating black-eyed peas and collard greens, since doing so is said
to result in good luck for the New Year.
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I wonder whether whoever started this wise tradition understood the

number of strings attached; once a person starts eating healthy, he tends to
care more for himself, and by caring for himself, he boosts his self-esteem.
Then he is motivated to exercise. Thus, the pieces of the entire pattern of a
healthy approach are connected, and the first piece starts with healthy eating.
Therefore, without fretting about who started this tradition, just realize that
it is for our own good and serves the purpose in a positive manner. Let us
celebrate New Years Day by eating black-eyed peas and collard greens with
hopes of saving and making more pennies and dollar bills and of luck
throughout the year. Let us plot our victory instead of cheering your demise.
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What difference does it make?

December 02, 2006
During the last season, we watched enough television and read enough
newspapers that dealt with the issue of how people, especially department
store employees to their customers, should greet each other. And as if that
were not enough, The Times and Democrat column, "Did you hear? You are
fired," was the cream of the crop. In this case, the department employee was
fired for not greeting a customer by the guidelines set by the employer. Thank
goodness the news tuned out to be a mere rumor. Someone started it and then
it was e-mailed. You get the picture of how fast electronic messaging can
spread the news, or rather gossip.
December is a ''holyday'' season. Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanza fall in
this month. Christians, Jews and African-Americans celebrate them in their
own traditional ways according to their faith. Therefore, maybe with the
intention of not hurting anyone's faith and feelings and for not being sure of
their customers' faith, the department stores came up with the idea of greeting
their customers with the phrase, "Happy holidays."
In the news, a Seattle-area school district had an issue about a Christmas
tree. When a parent complained, the staff resourcefully covered up the star on
the tree, calling it a giving tree, and Dr. Warren Throckmorton's column,
"Happy Holyday," almost froze me. A school district in Wisconsin attracted
attention through the singing of a song called "Cold in the Night" that goes
"Cold in the night, no one in sight, winter winds whirl and bite, how I wish I
were happy and warm, safe with my family out of the storm." These words
were supposed to be sung by the children to the tune of "Silent Night.''
How ridiculous! I don't understand the point of singing them. Why one would
want to break out into a festive song about freezing outside, alone and away
from his family? Heart-warming Christmas carols have a magical effect and a
chance to express our venture into make-believe, fantasy and hope that touch
right into the heart, by dusting off early childhood in each of us when they are
sung by children and adults.
The purpose of holidays is joy. The noble message is "Peace on Earth and
Goodwill to Men." These holidays are "Holy days." The focus here should be
on spirituality. Nowadays, we live in a global society. Our children need to be
educated about multicultural holidays and traditions. Learning about and
respecting the faith of others while observing our own should be the point and
the way to deal with matters like these without hurting anyone's feeling.
Though one is neither Christian, nor Jew, nor African-American, one still
should thoroughly enjoy the spirit of the season. If someone wishes me
"Merry Christmas, or Happy Hanukkah, or Happy Kwanza" out of his/her
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good will, gratefully, I will be thrilled to send him/her likewise positive vibes
out of my good heart. It wouldn't make a bit difference for me or hurt my
faith. I will only focus on the kind heart and manners of a person who is
wishing me "merry'' or ''happy,'' both are equally good for me.
I believe, the holidays are instituted to relax and reflect on the spiritual
aspect of life. As Pope Benedict XVI says, "You should bring joy. With a
smile, an act of kindness, a little help, forgiveness, you can bring joy and that
joy will come back to you."
This season, if somebody wishes you Merry Christmas and you feel hurt
because you are Jewish or African-American or neither, you wish them back
Happy Hanukkah or Kwanza, or simply happy holidays, so the wisher will
know your faith and will respect your feeling. I am sure many of us will agree
not to let the propaganda makers that indulge in such meaningless matter try
to throw a wet blanket on such a season's noble spirit, which brings us joy. If
one wants to live in this global society, one must learn how to get along by
respecting others' traditions while observing his/her own. If one doesn't like it,
it's too bad. Try hard to learn to practice tolerance.
In this reference let's not forget what Alexander Pope writes, "Slave to no
sect who takes private road, but look through Nature upon Nature's God."
Let's keep joy in our life. Let's not make life an intolerable chore. Let us wish
each other, "Peace on Earth and Goodwill to Men."
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Happy, holy holidays

December 18, 2006
Its the season to be jolly... or at least these are the words on the street, in
the store windows, commercials, and all over the TV and Internet!
The holiday season is supposed to be a fun time of year, filled with parties,
celebrations and social gatherings with family and friends. However, in
reality, jostling with crowds, traffic jams, tight budget, shopping list that
keeps on growing longer and longer, stressed by the desire of satisfying
everyone on the list, anxious about not meeting each ones expectation,
dealing with hard-to-satisfy family members, extra cooking, cleaning, and
decorating chores are what many of us encounter. Experiencing a level of
stress that might send one over the edge has become the norm nowadays with
the holidays. Balancing the demands of shopping, parties, family obligations,
and house guests may overwhelm and contribute to increased tension.
For some, holidays may be filled with joy, but for some others, it may be a
time filled with sadness, self-reflection, loneliness, and anxiety. The feelings
that result from the death of a loved one, a divorce, family separation, broken
relationships, or other stressful life situations can seem almost insurmountable
during the holiday season. Preparing for this challenging time of year by
developing coping skills can ease the sadness, anxiety, and depression of
spending time alone.
I believe the holidays are not just time off from work, they allow us to
relax for being released from a daily routine, spend time with loved ones,
close family and friends, eat traditional, comfort food, reflect on the spiritual
aspect of life for inner peace and betterment, and use this time as an
opportunity to teach our children about the real meaning behind the holiday
and how it should be observed meaningfully.
The root causes for this stress are striving for perfection and trying to
please everyone. At times either too much planning or not preparing ahead of
time may cause anxiety. Therefore, finish holiday shopping ahead of time to
avoid long lines and a last minute rush. Throwing parties to entertain family
and friends and expecting the best outcome is all human and natural.
However, by expecting too much out of it, we are putting more burdens on our
shoulders to heighten our stress level. The cause of this stress is anxiety and
disappointment. The appropriate attitude should be to perform our actions to
the best of our ability and be satisfied by having done what and how we
wanted. When we stop considering perfection as a pre-requisite, the outcome
does not affect us, so we are left free of stress.
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Make realistic expectations for the holiday season. Pace yourself. Do not
take on more responsibilities than you can handle. Make a list and prioritize
the important activities. This can help make holiday tasks more manageable.
Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. If you are lonely, reflect on
the boundaries of life, faith, and spirituality. Light a candle to remember the
loved one who has passed on. You may be by yourself, but you are never
alone. Try volunteering some time to help others. Spend time with supportive
and caring people. Reach out and make new friends. Make time to contact a
long lost friend or relative and spread some holiday cheer. Make time for
yourself by letting others share the responsibilities.
Above all, keep track of your holiday spending. Over-spending can lead
you to depression when the bills arrive after the holidays are over. Your
extravagance will drag you in further stress and depression even long after the
holidays are over.
Live and enjoy the present with realistic expectations. Light a candle to
remember the servicemen and women who have died fighting for their
country. Look to the future with optimism. The key words are keep it
simple; make it fun and safe, and spiritual. Enjoy the holidays, instead of
making them burdensome, a chore. Joy is the theme of the season.
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Spirit of Christmas Season

December 21, 2006
Look at the happy people, for Christmas is in the air. The air is filled with
the joyous sound of sleigh bells ringing, and the merry songs that children are
singing of Christmas. Santa dressed in his suit, with the white beard and big
belly, and his jolly laugh is appearing to cheer the children and checking each
ones wish list. Christmas is the season of hope, joy, and light; everything
looks so bright. Its time to recognize miracles that take place around us.
As Christmas approaches, the atmosphere fills with magic. Children start
talking about Santa and making a list of what they want Santa to bring them.
They sing Santa Claus is coming to town in the hope that their desires will
be fulfilled; they cautiously behave well, for they are told, He's making a list
and checking it twice / Gonna find out who's naughty and nice. They are told
that Santa brings gifts only to nice children.
However, time and time again, the question is been asked by someone, Is
there a Santa Claus?
The late Mother Teresa would say we could do no great things but only
small things with great love. As we look back through history and see how
significant contributions were brought about, we can understand what she
meant. One such example occurred when America was on the throws of
World War I in 1917.
Every morning anxious family members would scan the casualty list from
Europe hoping and praying that a familiar name wouldnt be on it. All the
while, there were other casualties occurring here at home, the newly orphaned
boys and girls were wandering helplessly in devastation in the streets of
America. Many were homeless, unwanted, and rejected by a society with
other preoccupations.
Father Edward J. Flanagan, an unassuming pastor of a small parish, in
Omaha, Nebraska, walked past these societal cast offs on the way to his
church every day. He knew he had to do something. He saw a need and set out
to meet it.
On December 12, 1917, he opened his door and took in about half a dozen
boys. He called it Father Flanagans Boys Home which evolved into present
Boys Town and eventually, Girls and Boys Town. Today, Father Flanagans
legacy endures. This organization provides food, shelter, clothing, guidance
and hope to thousands of troubled and runaway young men and women across
the country. And this all began with a simple act of compassion by a man who
cared back in 1917.
May be there is a lesson for all of us in this Christmas season. Giving
back to our community is such an important part of our culture, says Jeff
Roos.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Along with all the trimmings, jolly, holy atmosphere, gifts, traditional
foods, its vital that we teach our children about the importance of the holiday
spirit, the joy of giving, of caring for the less fortunate. The elderly should
make children understand that Christmas is not just about I, me, and mine
and Give me, give me , and give me more, by reading or telling them stories
of great human beings that stood to make a positive difference in society with
their kindness and foresightedness.
Now to answer to the previously stated question: Christmas is a time to
believe in Santa and recognize his presence in the people around us; they have
silently made and keep making the differenceeven without the suit, the
white beard and big belly, and the jolly laugh. And its time to reiterate, Yes,
Virginia, here is another proof that Santa Claus is real.
Merry Christmas to all of us.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Christmas, the season for giving

December 14, 2007
There are a number of entities and sources to remind us that the holiday
season is the time for miracles and generosity.
Compassion, giving, care and love are qualities as universal as the need for
them, so its a time for those who benefit from this kind of generosity to say,
Thank you. And Christmas is time for us to participate in fundraisers or
donate to our favorite charities that help feed the hungry, clothe those who are
cold and house the homeless. Many wealthy people across the country get into
the Christmas spirit with generous anonymous giving. They write checks,
place gold coins in their favorite charitys kettle, or volunteer.
Here is an inspiring and unique story about a Secret Santa who
personally gave cash to needy people and wrote checks to dozens of other
worthy causes, as well. This Secret Santa went to work wearing a red flannel
shirt, a vest with lots of pockets for his cash and either a police department
cap and/or a Santa hat. For safety reasons, at times, he was accompanied by
two police officers. For the last 26 years, the Secret Santa, a wealthy
businessman from the Kansas City area, doled out 100-dollar bills to offer
some comfort to the distraught. Though he distributed thousands of dollars all
year round, Christmas, he said, was his favorite time of year. He did not have
rigid guidelines either for who received or for the area to distribute the money.
He took his sleigh ride from the suburbs of Kansas City to the places where he
could find extremely needy people. For example, in 2001, after the terrorist
attacks, he went to New York. In 2002 he went to Washington to help the
people victimized by the serial snipers; in 2003, San Diego neighborhoods, to
help those devastated by wildfires; in 2004, Florida to help thousands left
homeless by three hurricanes and so on. He sometimes ide.jpgied a few
people from social services agencies, like police officers and firefighters.
However, much of the money he gave away to the people he saw on the street,
in diners, laundromats, pawn shops, fast-food chains, and other places. He
said, Its easy to find people who are in need, because a laundromat or pawn
shop is the last place they want to be on Christmas Eve. One didnt have to
be a homeless person. Sometimes its people who have a job, but they are
really struggling, he opined.
Secret Santa was raised in a small town in Mississippi by his grandparents,
who survived on $33 a month and welfare staples. They constantly struggled
to keep him fed and clothed. When the soles of my shoes wore out, my
grandmother put cardboard in the bottom of them, he recalled.
After Secret Santa had left home and completed college, in late winter of
1971, in the small town of Huston, Miss., he worked as a door-to-door
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Mandakini Hiremath
salesman. He lost his job when the company went out of business. Within a
few days, he had no money, food or shelter. Having no family to turn to, he
approached a woman at a church to ask for help. He was told that the person
who could help him had gone home for the day. As I turned around, I knew I
would never do that again, Santa said.
After living eight days in his yellow Datsun 510 and starving for two days,
he went into a Dixie Diner and ordered a big breakfast. He sipped his coffee
until the crowd thinned out, and then he acted as if he had lost his wallet. The
owner of the diner, who also was the waiter and cook, came over near the
stool where Santa was sitting and picked up a $20 dollar bill off the floor, and
said, Son, you must have dropped this.
As he left the diner, Santa vowed to remember the strangers kindness and to
help others when he could.
He packed all his belongings in a suitcase and then got onto the bus headed
to Kansas where his cousin lived. Secret Santa got married, had children. He
struggled for years to make a living.
He started his own company with the money from his father-in-law, but it
failed.
He said, I was a failure, failure as a husband and as a father. He got into
his car with a handgun and thought about robbing a store, but stopped and
returned home. He then received a call from his brother-in-law, offering him
money to tide him over, he reflected.
After his failed business venture and after being fired from two jobs on
successive Christmases, Secret Santas funds were almost depleted. While at a
drive-in restaurant, he saw a carhop without a heavy jacket, and said to
himself, I think I got it bad. Shes out there in this cold making nickels and
dimes. He paid her with $20 and told her to keep the change. With trembling
lips and tears rolling down her cheeks, she said, Sir, you have no idea what
this means to me! Much to his delight, Santa went to the bank that day and
withdrew $200 and then drove around looking for people who could use a lift.
Keeping his 1971 promise to help others when he could, Secret Santa hit the
streets every December thereafter.
Here is an example: Stacey Burke, a mother of four in Independence, Mo.,
who had hit bottom, was sick from a brain aneurysm and unable to work. Her
paralyzed husband who had been beaten up in 1993 lived in a nursing home.
Although Burke lived in a tent with her children for a few weeks that year, she
still managed to send her children to school. The Community Service League
helped Burke rent a house. Learning about Burkes situation from the agency
and meeting her in 1998, Santa gave her $4,000 and a Mother of the Year
award.
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Mandakini Hiremath
In 1999, Secret Santa returned to Huston, Miss., found the owner of the
Dixie Diner, Ted Horn, who had given him $20 in 1971. At that time, $20
seemed like $10,000. Santa gave $10,000 to the elderly gentleman whose wife
was ill.
Santa had always been anonymous. However, in November 2006, after
secretly giving away about $1.3 million in cash directly to the downtrodden,
he revealed his identity. Secret Santa was 59-year-old business man Larry
Stewart from the Kansas City suburb of Lees Summit. He had made his
millions in cable television and long-distance telephone service. The reason
for the revelation was not to get recognition but to spread his mission.
Stewart wished that everyone had his spirit of giving and that others would
continue his saga, for his was ending. In April 2006, Stewart had been
diagnosed with esophageal cancer that had spread to his liver. The high cost of
treatment, not covered by his insurance company, deterred him from his
philanthropic work.
This past Christmas season was the last for this generous man. Mr. Stewart
died on Jan. 13, 2007. I am sure thousands of people who have benefited by
his largesse and others who have watched are missing him. Lets keep his
family in our thoughts and prayers. May Mr. Stewarts soul rest in peace.
Thank goodness! Inspired by Stewarts mission, now, a few elves have taken
over to continue his saga by giving away 100-dollar bills to the needy.
Let us share our blessings as we make Christmas a personal season for giving!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Christmas, Homes for the Holidays

Warrick Dunn honors his mothers memory
December 20, 2007
Weve read what Virginia OHanlon, an 8-year-old, wrote to the editor of

The Sun: Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus? Responding, Yes,
Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, the editor elaborated, He exists as certainly
as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and
give to your life its highest beauty and joy.
Atlanta Falcon running back Warrick Dunn stands as a testimony to the
editors statement, demonstration of love, generosity and devotion for his late
mother. He will surprise a single mom with a $5,000 check toward the down
payment on her new mortgage. Then, with the help of sponsors and
contributors to his Warrick Dunn Foundation Homes for the Holidays project,
he fills their new homes with furniture and other essentials. Even the
refrigerator is stocked.
Thirty-three-year old Dunn, the oldest of six kids, says: Home ownership
is the American dream. Setting people up in their own home can have 10- or
even 15-year positive effect on their lives.
Although Dunns single mother, Betty Dunn Smothers, worked as a police
officer, in addition to taking several side jobs to provide for her family and to
make ends meet, she could not fulfill her dream of having a home of her own.
However, long workdays didnt stop Betty Dunn Smothers from being a
constant presence in her childrens lives, especially for her eldest son Warrick,
a high school track and football star. One tragic day, in January of Dunns
senior year, while moonlighting as a security guard, escorting a grocery store
manager to make the night bank deposit, his mother was fatally shot during a
robbery attempt.
As Warrick Dunns dream of playing in the NFL came to fruition,
gratefully, he wanted to honor his mother. The Warrick Dunn Foundation
Homes for the Holidays project is all about giving hope to those who are
honestly striving to better their lives. Were just helping them to get down
the road, but they have to steer. They are still driving the car. We are just
giving them a boost, says Dunn modestly.
His Homes for Holidays program began in 1997 in Tampa. Though started
with Christmas home giveaways, the project has grown to include Mothers
Day and Thanksgiving presentations. After signing with the Atlanta Falcons
in 2002, Dunn further expanded the program to include Atlanta and his
hometown of Baton Rouge. Deserving recipients are identified by teaming up
with charities, such as Habitat for Humanity, that build affordable homes for
low-income working families.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Owning a home was my moms dream, I am happy to represent her and

represent her name, Dunn says. What a great son! There is more than plenty
of media limelight on the celebrities that behave badly. I believe its time for
the media to focus on great personalities like Dunn. May the Lord Almighty
bless Warrick Dunn with a long, healthy life so that he will continue to fulfill
the dreams of hardworking single mothers who struggle just to feed, clothe
and shelter their kids.
Along with all the trimmings, jolly, holy atmosphere, gifts, traditional
foods, its vital that we teach our children about the importance of the holiday
spirit, the joy of giving, of caring for the less fortunate. Adults should help
children understand that Christmas is not just about I, me, and mine and
Give me, give me, and give me more. Read or tell children stories of great
human beings who have made positive differences in society with their
kindness and foresightedness.
Now, to answer to the previously stated question: Christmas is a time to
believe in Santa and recognize his presence in the people around us; they have
silently made and keep making the difference even without the suit, the
white beard, big belly, and the jolly laugh. Its time to reiterate, Yes, Virginia
herein is additional proof that Santa Claus is real.
Merry Christmas to all!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Santa Claus spreads his wealth

December 23, 2007
Look at the happy people. Christmas is in the air. The air is filled with the
joyous sound of sleigh bells ringing and the merry songs that children are
singing. Its time for Santa Claus, dressed in his suit, with the white beard and
big belly and his jolly laugh, to appear. Instead, you see a man in his 80s,
wearing baggy jeans, fraying work shirts and shoes that have been resoled
thrice. You probably guess that he is a homeless, destitute man. However, you
are wrong! This man is a millionaire. He is Hal Taussig, who has given away
millions of dollars.
However, he bought the only suit that he owns from a thrift shop for $14.
Taussig doesnt own a car. He rides a bicycle to go to work and run errands.
He lives on the outskirts of Media, Pa., in a narrow wood-framed house that
was built for mill and factory workers. Taussig works three jobs: Caring for
Norma, his wife of 61 years, who was crippled by a stroke in 1999; helping
run Untours, a tour-planning service that enables vacationers to experience
foreign places deeply, and directing the Untours Foundation, into which he
pours all his profits $5 million since 1992. The money is used to make lowinterest loans to ventures and projects that help the needy and jobless from
a craft store in Hanoi to a home-health-care cooperative in Philadelphia.
As a boy, Taussig lived like a pioneer, in a log house on a cattle ranch in
Colorado. His mother made his underwear from flour sacks. His Jewish
grandfather married an evangelical Christian. Taussig was reared in a
household where the Word of God ruled the family.
He was sent to Wheaton College in Illinois, the Harvard of
Evangelicalism, where he became a champion wrestler. An independentminded Taussig balked at the story of Creation and called it preposterous.
The Lord gave Taussig a pass, freeing him to craft his own faith. God created
human beings in his own image. That is the heart of my faith, says Taussig,
who now attends the First United Methodist Church of Media.
After college, Taussig returned to Colorado, where he and his brother
resumed cattle ranching. However, the cattle market took nose-dive, and they
went broke, Taussig says. We invested in a sterile bull. We paid $5,700 for
him and sold him for hamburger.
Instead of feeling ashamed, Taussig says, he felt cleansed. He wanted to
own the failure. He adds, In America, we worship success, and making our
way up, and leaving the masses behind. Its a shoddy ethic that leads us to
value who we are by what we are.
In 1957, Taussig came east to pursue a doctorate in American civilization
at the University of Pennsylvania. During the day, he taught seventh grade in
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Mandakini Hiremath
Upper Darby and later 11th grade in Springfield, Delaware County. After 10
years of teaching, he took a sabbatical and drove a VW Beetle all over
Europe.
After returning home, Taussig wrote a book about his adventure,
Shoestring Sabbatical. It inspired an idea: a travel agency that would enable
tourists to get to know a place intimately by staying at least two weeks in a
rented cottage, apartment or farmhouse. With a $5,000 loan from a friend,
Taussig launched Untours in 1975. Europe is so enriching and rewarding, I
decided to help others have a similar experience, he says. His ultimate
motive: forging connections and understanding between people and cultures.
In the early 80s, Taussig was making more money from the tour operation
than he needed or wanted. He decided to accept about $20,000 a year for his
basic expenses. First, Taussig gave the excess profits back to his customers.
The next year, he split the profits among his employees. Finally, he decided to
channel them into a foundation. The motto of the Untours Foundation is a
hand up, not a handout, says Taussig. The foundation provides low-interest
loans, here and abroad, to create jobs, build low-income housing, and support
fair-trade products: goods such as coffee that are sold at a price that
guarantees producers and workers a fair wage and decent livelihood.
Along with the successes, there have been failures, but Taussig is heartened
by the many ventures that have taken root, paid off their loans, and
blossomed. In 1999, Untours received the Newmans Own/George Award for
being the most generous business in America. The award from Paul
Newman and John F. Kennedy Jr., the late publisher of George magazine,
came with a $250,000 prize, which the Taussigs donated to the foundation.
In a world gone mad with greed, he really believes in the common good,
says Bob Fishman, executive director of the nonprofit social service agency,
Resources for Human Development, who has worked with Taussig on several
projects. He adds, He doesnt do it to say Im right and youre wrong, but
rather to show, in his own sweet way, that theres another path. By his
example, he gets all of us to think, cant I do more?
Taussig and his wife live on Social Security and savings from the modest
wages Norma earned as a school secretary and Untours bookkeeper. They
have three children, five grandchildren and five great-grandchildren; all live
very modestly.
Its important to note that Taussig does not consider himself heroic or
saintly. He just says, I invest in entrepreneurial efforts to help poor people
leverage themselves out of poverty. This is my way of finding meaning.
This is how I get joy out of life. The widening gap between the rich and poor
is not sustainable. I fear there will be a violent revolution if we dont find a
solution to poverty in the world.
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Mandakini Hiremath
A lot of people donate money to the less fortunate but they enjoy living
and live in high style themselves. He lives a very simple life in order to have
more money to give away. Hes called a 21st-century Thoreau. As the sage of
Walden Pond writes, Let your capital be simplicity and contentment, those
are my sentiments precisely, says Taussig. If capitalism is good, it should be
good for the poor, Taussig declares.
Thus, here is a man who saves money by living frugally so that he can give
more to other less-fortunate folks that chance. Christmas is the season of hope,
joy and light; everything looks so bright during this season. Its time to
recognize good deeds that take place around us by recognizing a philanthropic
men, like Hal Taussig, who have silently made and keep making the
difference even without the suit, the white beard and big belly, and the
jolly laugh.
Merry Christmas to all!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Remembering those who make a difference

December 20, 2008
Holiday season is in. It is Christmas time. The air should be filled with the
joyous sound of sleigh bells ringing and children singing merry songs. Its
time for Santa Claus, dressed in his suit, with the white beard and big belly
and his jolly laugh, to appear. People are supposed to be happy.
However, many Americans are worried sick of sudden job loss. The
American economy dealt another brutal blow in November. The loss of a
startling 553,000 jobs was announced by the government on Dec. 5. Since the
start of the year, American employers have shed 1.8 million jobs, reports ABC
News Business Unit.
As if unemployment numbers werent enough, the story of an infant in
Florida really hit the country as a sign we are in desperate economic times:
Five-month-old LaDamian Barton almost died Monday from watered-down
formula because his mother tried to cut the costs.
Child care and poverty advocates say poor families have always had to make
dangerous decisions to cut back. Now, with the economy in trouble, experts
say more families are likely to try skipping their own meals before theyll cut
back on their childrens.
News segments about hunger and starvation make us appreciate the
foundations like the Greater Chicago Food Depository, the 268,000-squarefoot facility that distributes food to hungry men, women and children
throughout Cook County and also houses innovative programs that work to
break the cycle of poverty. The food depository distributes donated and
purchased food through a network of 600 pantries, soup kitchens, shelters to
more than 9,100 adults and children every week. Its extremely difficult for
children to be good students if they are hungry, malnourished or too distracted
by the worries about whether and where they will get their next meal, says
Mike Mulqueen, who retired from the U.S. Marines as a brigadier general and
took the helm of Food Depository from 1991-2006 and is recognized for his
valuable contribution to take the depository to the greater level. He added,
We are so pleased to be working alongside the Chicago public schools to not
only provide these children nutritious foods but ultimately to help them get a
better start academically and a better chance of breaking the cycle of poverty.
Kate Maehr, executive director for the food bank, has significantly expanded
the organizations outreach efforts, leading to a more than 50 percent increase
in individual revenue. With the leaders vision, dedication and commitment to
the mission to helping people in difficult circumstances, the foundation has
been instrumental in taking the Food Depository from a small, grassroots
organization to one of Chicagos premier human service organizations. As a
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Mandakini Hiremath
result, it has attracted food bank officials from around the country eager to
learn how the depository does it. Among its successes are training programs in
which welfare moms learn restaurant cooking while feeding hungry children
through a chain of Kids Cafes; Pantry University, which teaches hundreds of
volunteers to run food pantries efficiently.
The Greater Chicago Food Depository, Chicagos food bank, is a not-forprofit food distribution center providing food for hungry people while striving
to end hunger in our community. The depository distributes donated and
purchased food through a network of 600 pantries, soup kitchens and shelters
to more than 91,000 adults and children every week. In past years, the
depository distributed more than 40 million pounds of non-perishable food
and fresh produce, dairy products, meat, poultry and fish, the equivalent of
more than 84,000 meals every day.
Watching the news broadcast President-elect Barack Obama and his family
helping distribute food from the depositorys Producemobile at St.
Columbanus Pantry on the eve of Thanksgiving and learning that more than
600 individuals and families were provided with all of the ingredients for a
Thanksgiving meal made me curious to learn about this foundation. To meet
the increasing demand, the food depository has added additional food to its
Mobile Pantry and Producemobile distributions.
On a lighter note, the subject of hunger reminds me of the situation I
encountered with my then-5-year-old son, Mayur. As he asked, Whats there
to eat, Mom, I responded, bread with fresh peas sauted in olive oil with
sweet onions, green chili pepper and other spices. Refusing to eat peas, he
asked if there was something else. Receiving no response, about an hour later,
he returned to eat and later agreed that peas were delicious. Seeing him
pleased, I asked, What is the most powerful thing in this world? Hunger!
he responded.
With innovative programs like Nourish for Knowledge and partnerships
with organizations like the Greater Chicago Food Depository, the Chicago
Public Schools are working to provide children with the solid foundation they
need for a successful academic career. Lead funding for Nourish for
Knowledge is provided by three of the McCormick Tribune Foundations
Communities Program Funds Chicago Tribune Charities, Bears Care and
Cubs Care. December is the perfect month to recognize the kindness, the spirit
of giving. Lets thank all donors big and small who help the Food Depository
continue to distribute quality food throughout the holiday season and help win
this fight against hunger. They help make holidays tolerable for the people
that are going through the tough times this year. No one would want to be in
such a dire condition.
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Lets make our holidays meaningful

December 15, 2009
Its the season to be jolly or at least these are the words on the street,
in the store windows, commercials, and all over TV and the Internet! The
holiday season is supposed to be a fun time of year, filled with parties,
celebrations and social gatherings with family and friends.
However, this years holiday cheer is overshadowed by the fear of being in
debt. In reality, the nation is dealing with double-digit unemployment. Many
average working people are worried and poorer, struggling even to put food
on the table, and desperately trying to keep their homes from foreclosure.
Housing, health care, and retirement are all in jeopardy while our nation is
drowning in debt. Nothing sounds cheerful.
For some children there may be few gifts under the tree. Its easy to
fantasize and expect magical miracles over the holidays; however,
unfortunately one must learn to deal with reality. Maybe its time to learn to
be less materialistic. Recently, I have been reflecting on this commercial. A
mom, along with two kids, is making Rice Crispy treats. They all look happy,
cheering each other up and enjoying the moment. As the older feeds a bite of
the treat to the younger one, each looks into the others eyes with
contentment, and they giggle. It doesnt cost much, but they all are savoring
the moment. And as I watch it each time, I too smile.
Avoiding overspending is the key to making holidays stress free. I
overheard two females conversing at a shopping center. One said her son was
asking for an Xbox 360 and added, I feel sad, for I cant fulfill his wish. Just
cant afford it. The other one calmly told her story. She is a retired single
mom with two married daughters and four grandchildren working part-time to
stretch her Social Security check to meet her needs. She has told my family
that she doesnt want them to take care of her when she is older; therefore, she
is unable to afford expensive birthday and Christmas gifts. They understand
and dont expect anything extravagant from her. Her daughter and she went
shopping for the grandchildren this week. She helped her pick out clothes and
spent only $60 for the four children. That was $20 under budget. They were
happy.
She ended her story saying, I wish I could be more generous. However, I
need to be realistic.
How thoughtful! Though it may not sound very exciting, in the long run,
this type of foresight saves a whole lot of heartache.
Instead of worrying about what we cant afford or incurring debt to purchase
fancy gifts to please to our children momentarily, we should focus on how to
make our holidays meaningful and what our children really need.
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Parents should focus on spending time with their children and making
lasting memories. Gifts or no gifts, parents still can make this holiday a
unique experience by recounting their childhood Christmas memories. Bake
inexpensive holiday treats together and ask the children to share those with
extended family and friends.
Take the children out to volunteer where they may see that what they have
and others dont. They should realize that for some, holidays may be filled
with joy, but for some others, it may be a time filled with sadness, selfreflection, loneliness and anxiety. The feelings that result from the death of a
loved one, a divorce, family separation, broken relationships or other stressful
life situations may seem almost insurmountable during the holiday season.
Uncertainty, ups and downs are the unavoidable course of life. Its good to
show them that when times get tough, family must stay together.
Lest we forget home is where the heart is.
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Feeling gratified by giving

December 23, 2010
The holiday season is upon us. The song tells us "all is merry and bright."
Most children and adults look forward to receiving a special gift or two they
have desired. However, the economy has been in a slump and unemployment
is close to double digits; added to the situation, an unusual cold weather is
overcrowding homeless shelters. There has been overwhelming demands for
food and shelter. The Salvation Army food pantry is emptied. The need for
charity is greater than ever.
This is an especially critical time of year for thousands of American
charities. What many organizations receive during the holiday season can
dictate what they will achieve during the entire year to come. Since we are
entering the season of giving, we are asked to care and share with those in
need. In giving dollars, all like to believe our money will actually help.
However, the news media are alerting the donors to continue to give but give
wisely, for worthy causes abound, but so do bounders angling to take
advantage of compassionate natures.
Though a German proverb says, "Charity sees the need, not the cause," and
Victor Hugo states, "As the purse is emptied, the heart is filled," one must not
forget that there can be no hope when there lacks interest for better. There can
be no trust when there lacks confirmation of truth. There can be no faith when
there lacks complete confidence of purpose. This caution reminds me about
what I read in my adolescence about charity.
The Vedic philosophy of ahinsa, meaning "nonviolence," promotes
compassion, mercy and kindness, not only to human beings but to all species
of life, because everyone is part and parcel of God. Being kind to all living
beings is considered as charity. And charity has to be consistent and impartial.
Krishna says, "The God Almighty is the Father of all living beings, not just of
the human beings" (Bhagavad-Gita).
When we perform charity, we should do so in knowledge. The phrase used
is satpatra dan, meaning "giving to the worthy." Charity can be performed in
three modes: ignorance, passion and goodness. According to Krishna, charity
performed at an improper place and time and given to unworthy persons
without respect and contempt is charity in the mode of ignorance (BhagavadGita 17:22).
Further he explains who the unworthy person is ... If you offer charity to a
bum, he will buy liquor with the money, so you are helping him. Thus, you
become a partner in his sinful act. You're not doing him a favor; you are just
making his condition worse. Moreover, if you give charity, which is your
energy, to the wrong person, and it's used improperly, you become implicated
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in his act of ignorance. By the same token, if you give charity to the right
person, you share in its benediction. For example, if you give charity to a
devotee, and he uses the money in serving others, you are also credited with
lending devotional service.
Faith is the path to the spiritual world. Faith is the greatest of all human
qualities. Faith is openness and evidence of things yet unseen. What one
should seek is faith and pure knowledge; knowledge that is perfect is
transcendental. Giving to charity in faith is good. However, donors should
open-mindedly make sure that the cause they are giving money to is not a
scam and learn how much of a donated dollar goes to programs, to fundraising
and to overhead expenses.
One additional thought: extended unemployment benefits for nearly 2
million Americans are going to run out. A loss of a steady stream of income is
guaranteeing a dismal mood for people already struggling with bills they
cannot pay. It is clear from reading "The Letters to Santa" that even children
are asking for the basic necessities, not for toys. Food, clothing and a roof
over head are the basic necessities.
It is sad, but it's much easier if the children know what their breadwinners
are going through and how they are striving to make the ends meet. The check
for charity must go to parents to meet the necessities.
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THE ROYALS
AND
BIRTHDAYS
COLUMNS
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Love is patient
The diamond-wedding anniversary
February 11, 2008
I remember writing, Do fairy tales come true? Do fairy-tale marriages last

until death us do part? They do only if they end immediately after Prince
Charming arrives from nowhere on a galloping white stallion to pick up the
damsel in distress and the pair vanishes into the sunset to live happily ever
after. However, instead of focusing on the world of disposable relationships
and short-term marriages, I present here a couple who had a fairy-tale
wedding; this couple epitomizes an enduring relationship.
Her Majesty the Queen and His Royal Highness the Duke of Edinburgh
celebrated their diamond wedding anniversary in November 2007 with a
moving thanksgiving service in Westminster Abbey, where the 21-year-old
princess married the Royal Navy Lt. Philip Mountbatten, a prince of Greece
and Denmark and a distant cousin five years her senior, on 20 November
1947. On this occasion, Westminster Abbey reportedly looked just as it did for
the original ceremony 60 years ago.
Prince Phillip sat next to Queen Elizabeth II. Also in attendance were about
30 members of the royal family and the 2000-strong congregation invited for
the occasion; all listened as Oscar-winning British actress Judi Dench read the
poem Diamond Wedding, written by the Poet Laureate Andrew Motion, a
poem on the subject of love and duty tempered by tenderness:
The years stacked up and as their weight increased
They pressed the stone of time to diamondimmortal,
mortal, in its brilliant strength.
At the conclusion of the service, the queen and her husband viewed the
wedding register that they had signed 60 years ago. Then the monarch greeted
10 other couples who had married on the same day and had also been invited
to the service. The celebration service was held a day early so that the couple
could leave on their diamond anniversary for a return visit to the
Mediterranean island of Malta, their first home as a married couple. Phillip
was stationed there as a Royal Naval officer from 1949-51.
The queens life may appear to be bed of roses; however, the roses
certainly have not been free of thorns. The love of Queen Elizabeth and Prince
Philip has run its course and withstood the tests of time.
Born on April 21, 1926, Elizabeth Alexandra Mary discovered a decade
later that she was destined to lead an empire because of a fluke of history. The
abdication announcement broadcast on Dec. 10, 1936, marked the dramatic
climax of the romantic relationship between King Edward VIII, her uncle, and
the American divorcee Mrs. Wallis Simpson. As a result, Elizabeths father
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became king. Elizabeth was an accidental heir. This circumstance filled her
with a sense of duty. On the occasion of her 21st birthday, Princess Elizabeth
told the British people in a radio address that she would serve them dutifully.
Elizabeth became queen upon the death of her father, King George VI, in
1952.
The Victorian writer Walter Bagehot famously advised the royal family:
We must not let in daylight upon magic. He realized that the institution of
the monarchy depended on the mystery it conveyed to the public. Queen
Elizabeth has upheld the dictum by keeping the curtains closed on her
personal life.
The queen is admired for never putting a wrong foot in front of her. She
has always led a model life, quiet, private, observing her duties, despite a
succession of controversies centering on other members of the royal family,
including widespread rumors of infidelity on the part of her husband, reports
of his propensity for verbal gaffes, and scandals involving her children, three
of four have been divorced. The infidelities and divorce of Prince Charles and
the late Princess Diana were splashed throughout the media. The marriage of
Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson was quite a scandal. It is hard to imagine
what Queen Elizabeth must have gone through and how many of her
principles and ideals she was forced to sacrifice while striving to keep her
family together in peace.
As Simone Signoret states, Chains do not hold marriages together. It is
threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.
That is what makes a marriage last. Obviously, the Queen has succeeded in
finding that ideal component to keep her love and family together. Though
many royal marriages have turned sour or been tainted by scandal, with
illegitimate children, divorces, sordid affairs and tragedies, the queen
exemplifies the old belief: Marriages are made in heaven.
The diamond wedding anniversary made the queen the longest-married
monarch in British history. The Archbishop of Canterbury praised the royal
couples commitment to each other as well as to the nation, and voiced his
admiration for their endurance of the pressures of a marriage lived in the full
light of publicity. One may wonder how she has endured this long. The
answer is simple. She has chosen love over hate and good over evil. Her faith
in goodness has transcended her every defeat, fear, and illness. Jesus says, in
Mark 5:34, Your faith has made you well. She has studied the words and
faithfully applied the principle from Corinthians 13:4-7:
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or
arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or
resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It
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bears all things, believes all things, endures all things, hopes all
things.
The Queen has passed the test of love, as set forth in the scriptures, with
flying colors. And her successful passing of the test is the secret of her
celebration of her diamond wedding anniversary.
May Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip be blessed with many more
years of healthy and peaceful life filled with love.
In a culture in which many couples bail out when things get tough, to see
this couple maintain the sanctity of marriage is inspirational.
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A royal marriage - The wedding

February 8, 2008
The public loves weddings, especially royal weddings. The public wants to
watch them happen, and people keep track of them to see if the royal couples
endure and survive, especially when they read AP writers articles like,
Europe has bad luck with royal marriages.
John Leicester wrote, From Windsor to Monaco and beyond, many royal
marriages have turned sour or been tainted by scandal, with illegitimate
children, divorces, sordid affairs and tragedies that tabloids dole up to publics
whose appetite for the dirty laundry of royalty is seemingly unquenchable.
However, on the contrary, its worth reminding them that Her Majesty the
Queen Elizabeth II and His Royal Highness the Duke of Edinburgh celebrated
their diamond-wedding anniversary in November 2007.
21-year-old Princess Elizabeth married the Royal Navy Lt. Philip
Mountbatten, a prince of Greece and Denmark five years her senior and a
distant cousin, on Nov. 20, 1947, in London at Church Westminster Abbey. In
keeping with wedding traditions, cloth that decorated the altar at the ceremony
was both old and borrowed. The cloth, made from embroidered silk and
decorated with the royal insignia, was custom-made for the coronation of
King George V, the queens grandfather. The youthful new choir boys who
performed at the 1947 ceremony were between 9 and 13 at the time.
Princess Elizabeth and Royal Navy Lt. Phillip tied the knot in front of
2,600 guests. The ceremony that took place 60 years ago dispelled some of the
gloom of a post-World War II Britain, where food and other items were still
rationed. The royal wedding was a source of optimism in a country struggling
to get back on to its feet after the war. Winston Churchill called it a flash of
color on the hard road we travel.
Rationing brought in during the war meant Princess Elizabeth had to save
up clothing coupons to buy her wedding dress, like other brides of the time.
However, unlike most other brides, the princess had her dress designed by the
master courtier Norman Hartnell, the official dressmaker to the royal family.
Hartnell based the wedding dress on the painting, Spring, by the Italian
renaissance artist Sandro Botticelli. The costume was made of satin woven
from silk from Chinese silkworms and decorated with 10,000 pearls. The
princess had eight bridesmaids, led by her sister Princess Margaret. After the
ceremony, King George VI, Princess Elizabeths father, wrote a letter to his
daughter to let her know how proud he was to watch her walking down the
aisle. You were so calm and composed during the service and said your
words with such conviction, that I knew everything was all right, he wrote.
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The royal couple received more than 2,500 wedding presents, including a
textile from Mahatma Gandhi that the Indian leader had crafted himself and a
casket-shaped crystal vase and cover from U.S. President Harry S. Truman.
The former queen of Malta, when it was still a British possession, Queen
Elizabeth is known to cherish the time they spent on Malta, the Meditation
Island, as a young couple, out of Britain and out of the spotlight in the years
before she inherited the throne in 1952 at 25.
Though every marriage is a public event, this couple has lived more than
others in the full light of publicity. Its not only a marriage, but also the
relationship between monarch and people, which the queen has upheld by a
clear sense of Gods calling and enabling, is awe-inspiring.
The queens toast during the 80th birthday bash (I doubt whether any of
us can say that the last 80 years has been fair sailing, but we give thanks to our
health and happiness, the support we receive from our family and friends, for
the wonderful memories and excitement that each new day brings.) hints at
the ordeal she has gone through. Obviously, without forsaking her beliefs and
principles, she has gotten along with the changing times by understanding and
accepting responsibility. Winston Churchill said, Responsibility is the price
of greatness. This queen has paid the price to achieve greatness. She stands
uniquely as the longest married monarch in British history, upholding her
fathers words that were written 60 years ago, I knew everything was all
right.
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Something in common
March 07, 2007
Britains Queen Elizabeth II and I share something in common. Was I born

in England? Am I connected to the royalty? Was I born on April 21, 1926 and
was invited to lunch with her along with the 99 commoners? Well! None of
the above!
Now, about the common element I share with the Queen, I too had two
birthdays, until my parents gave me away in marriage. I was born on the
second day of a very special religious four-day holiday that was celebrated by
the entire town. Each year, a new group of 15 to 20 people, along with a
couple of my mothers relatives, used to travel (about 150 miles by train) from
her town to attend the four days religious events. Thus, during this period,
our house used to be overcrowded with guests. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and in
between teatimes, not to mention cooking traditional holiday dishes and then
getting dressed up to go to the temple to attend the religious events, kept every
one of us on our feet (good for men, since women were traditionally always in
charge of the kitchen). My parents and elder siblings used to be too busy
attending to the guests and making sure that they were well provided for to
pay attention to us, me and my younger sister, let alone find time to think
about my birthday. I used to receive special secret looks of love from my
parents, and my mother would hold my hand quietly as she prayed.
A birthday, according to my parents, was not all about a party, ice-cream
and cake, and gifts. A birthday was an occasion to reflect on the past, talk
about the growing process and the year to come. On each birthday, the
birthday recipient would get to spend special time with our parents talking and
discussing various matters.
On this day, the entire town was busy celebrating, performing and attending
traditional religious rituals and fun filled social activities. Our house was filled
with guests and festive atmosphere; what else one would need to celebrate her
birthday, one might think. But the crowd and festivities didnt fit in my
parents plan for my birthday. They decided to celebrate my official birthday
on a rather convenient day, a weekday, when my siblings would be at school.
This day, (especially, until I was in middle school; after that it was my choice)
I would stay at home to spend my time around my mother talking all day long.
My mother would take me to the temple. After special offerings and prayers,
we would have lunch in the garden surrounding the temple. We would talk
endlessly about nothing and about everything. I still remember the countless
stories my mother told me on these occasions. Each story ended with a moral
lesson. If I bragged about my birthday being such a special day, having so
many guests at home filled with feasts and festive atmosphere, my mother
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immediately straightened me up saying, Its blessing to be born on a special

day, but you need not brag about it. Its still Gods day; just feel blessed. My
official birthday has been occasionally put to use, if I sense my real birthday
would offend or make someone feel less important. I could pick any other
convenient day as did my parents. Even though I avoid talking openly about
it, I cherish the real day, connecting it with the God within.
Now, you know what I share with the Queen of Britain, Elizabeth II, not a
big deal. By the bye, listening to this story, my colleague, Dr. Louise Pollans,
French professor, responded, Thats cool! And then as I heard her saying
how most French people are named after a particular saint, so each person gets
a card or a gift on that saints day, my simple thought was what a serene way
to celebrate ones birthday on a saints day. I believe in virtue by association;
a name associated with particular saint is a positive influence, like the adage:
With a fall of a flower, the soil gets perfumed.
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I wish
March 08, 2007
Now you know the element I share with the Queen of Britain, Elizabeth II
is as her birthday is celebrated twice, mine was too. I dont think of it as big
deal; its just something I chose to write about. However, if I could, I would
rather like to share a couple of other elements that I admire of her, the first,
her courage and endurance and the second, her good health.
Born on April 21, 1926, Elizabeth Alexandra Mary knew only a decade
later that she was destined to lead an empire. It was a fluke of history destined
by the work of scandal. The abdication announcement broadcast on the 10th
of December 1936 marked the dramatic climax of the romantic relationship
between her uncle King Edward VIII and the American divorcee Mrs.
Wallace Simpson. As a result, Elizabeths father became king. She was an
accidental heir, and it entrenched in her a sense of duty. On the occasion of
her 21st birthday, the then Princess Elizabeth told the British people in a radio
address that she would serve them dutifully. Her ascension to the throne was
heralded as The Second Elizabethan Age. The Queen has upheld her duties
for more than a half-century, regardless.
As a head of state, she performs her hundreds of constitutional royal duties
with dignity and smiles each year, but also with unerring aloofness. Keeping
up with royal protocol, she doles out neither hugs nor handshakes. She is
Europes longest-reigning monarch and has been served by a succession of 10
prime ministers and six Archbishops of Canterbury. As a constitutional
monarch, she performs ceremonial duties and advises prime ministers weekly.
This is quite a busy schedule for an eighty-year-old lady. This job is for life;
she cant retire. And she is handling it well with confidence in good health.
The Victorian writer Walter Bagehot famously advised the royal family:
We must not let in daylight upon magic. He realized the institution of the
monarchy depended on the mystery it conveyed to the public. Queen
Elizabeth has upheld the dictum by keeping the curtains closed on her
personal life.
The queen is admired for never putting a wrong foot in front of her. She
has always led a model life, quiet, private, observing her duties, despite a
succession of controversies about the rest of the royal family, particularly
throughout the 1980s and 1990s, including wide reportage Prince Philips
propensity for verbal gaffes and of her children, three of the four have been
divorced. The infidelities and divorce of Prince Charles and the late Princess
Diana were splashed all over the media and tabloids. The marriage of Prince
Andrew and Sarah Ferguson was quite a scandal. Its hard to imagine what
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she must have gone through and how much of her principles and ideals she
has sacrificed while striving to keep her family together in peace.
The queens toast during the 80th birthday bash (I doubt whether any of
us can say that the last 80 years has been fair sailing, but we give thanks to our
health and happiness, the support we receive from our family and friends, for
the wonderful memories and excitement that each new day brings.) hints at
the ordeal she has gone through and evidences that she has made peace with
the situation and is trying to live in the Lord Almightys grace.
Admiring her strength and endurance and reflecting on the queen and her
reign, I make a wish: If I live to be eighty, I would like to be as healthy,
strong, enduring, and active as the queen is today.
May the Lord Almighty continue to bless the Queen Elizabeth II with long,
healthy, and peaceful life.
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Birthdays
March 14, 2007
Have you ever wondered about whats a big deal birthdays? When and
what was the purpose behind birthday celebrations? Who celebrates them?
How are they celebrated?
Celebration of the anniversary of important events, such as birthdays didnt
start until humans figured out a way of keeping time. Before the rise of
Christianity, people in pagan culture feared evil spirits. They believed that evil
spirits were more dangerous to a person when he or she experienced a change
in life, such as turning a year older. Therefore, in efforts to protect that person
from evil spirits, birthdays were merry occasions celebrated with family and
friends who surrounded the person of honor with good vibes and wishes,
laughter, joy, and presents for the upcoming year.
Its said that early Christians felt that birthdays were unlike other holidays;
they are times of self-glorification. The birthday cake with colorful icing
and shining candles is a personal tribute. Other holidays lift the heart, but
birthdays warm the ego. The first century Christians, in order to preserve their
conscience, celebrated neither their own birthday nor Jesus birthday. Too
much ego warming could lead to humiliation at Gods hand. Let us not
become egotistical, counsels the apostle Paul. (Gal. 5:26)
Eventually the churchs attitude towards celebrating birthdays changed, as
its attitude toward the Roman world altered. With the celebration of Christs
Nativity retuned the celebration of the nativities of ordinary mortals, writes
William Walsh.
However, Jehovahs Witnesses, reportedly, dont celebrate birthdays or
holidays. They enjoy sharing with one another in healthful periods of
relaxation. They look forward together to the hope of everlasting life that
comes under Gods kingdom. They note, as Christians have, since the time of
Origin that the only two birthday celebrations mentioned in the Bible were
those of an Egyptian pharaoh (Gen. 40:20-22) and Herod Antipas (Matt. 14:611), a Roman ruler; neither of them was a servant of God.
In African culture, not the day of childs birth but the day of childs
initiation into the community is observed. In Latino cultures, a girls 15th
birthday, called Quinceanera, marks her passing into adulthood. Russian
children, instead of cake, are presented with pies inscribed with a special
birthday message. Native American tribes have placed significance on
milestones in a childs development rather than the day he or she was born.
Although historians are certain that people have observed their birthdays
for quite some time, only those birthdays of kings, high-ranking nobility and
other important wealthy figures who could throw elaborate celebration have
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been documented. Eventually birthday celebrations became a tradition around

the world with young and old rich and poor. The custom of sending birthday
cards began in England about 100 years ago. Today, millions of cards are sent
around the world each year to wish family and friends a happy birthday.
As noted, not everyone celebrates birthdays in the same way. However,
the custom of lighted candles on the cake seems to be common with the most
traditions today. It began with the Greeks. Candles, in folk belief, are
endowed with special magic for granting wishes. Lighted tapers or sacrificial
fires have had a special mystic significance since man ever set up altar to his
gods. Thus, the birthday candles are considered an honor and tribute to the
birthday recipient, bringing good fortune.
Though many like to celebrate their birthdays, not everybody feels the
same about it. Little Mary may eagerly anticipate her birthday with cake,
candles, and presents. Mommy, on the other hand, may not wish to be
reminded of her age.
One of my acquaintances recently celebrated her 70th birthday; however,
she called it, the 31st anniversary of her 39th birthday. Its easy to fathom
why one would like to stop counting ones age at 39. Thirty-nine is a perfect
age where most of people have established themselves in their career,
acquired a family and social status. In this period in life, one may well be
relaxing with the family, watching the children grow, being there to love,
guide, and mentor.
I too wouldve liked to stop at 39, if time allowed me.
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Let wedding bells ring for royals

April 9, 2005
Do fairy tales come true? Do fairy tale marriages last "until death us do
part"? They do, only if they end immediately after the prince charming arrives
from nowhere on a galloping white stallion to pick up a damsel in distress and
the pair vanishes into the sunset to live happily ever after. But in reality each
relationship has to go through its course; couples must experience and endure
life's hardships, and withstand all the tests of time "till death us do part."
But whatever the end results may be, the public loves weddings, especially
royal weddings. The public wants to watch them happen. And people keep
track of them to see if the royal couples endure and survive.
On Thursday, February 11, four days before St. Valentine's Day, 56 year
old Charles, the heir to the British throne, announced that he will marry his
longtime sweetheart, 57-year-old Camilla Parker Bowles, in a quiet, civil
ceremony on Saturday, April 9, putting a happy ending to a romance that has
bred controversy for more than a decade.
She was the other woman for many years. Princess Diana blamed Camilla
for wrecking her marriage. "There were three of us in this marriage, so it was
a bit crowded," said Diana in a 1995 TV interview. Mrs. Parker Bowles, who
divorced her husband, military officer Andrew Parker Bowles, in 1995 and
has two adult children, has been the significant love in Charles' life in recent
years, but has always faced an uphill struggle to rival Diana in the public's
affection.
Charles and Diana's two sons, Prince William and Prince Harry, are
delighted" at the announcement. "The princes want the couple to be happy,"
a Clarence House aide told the UK's Press Association. A consenting
statement on behalf of Queen Elizabeth II said, "We (The Duke of Edinburgh
and I) have given them our warmest good wishes for their future together."
British Prime Minister Tony Blair said the cabinet has sent congratulations
and good wishes and added, "We all wish them every happiness for their
future together."
Seeing all this cheerful acceptance, blessings, and well wishes from the
children, parents and parliament over the announcement, I couldn't help
noticing how time has softened the situation compared to the abdication
announcement broadcast on the 10th of December 1936, which marked the
dramatic climax of the romantic relationship between King Edward VIII and
the American divorcee Mrs. Wallace Simpson. Royal tradition forbade the
marriage. Seven decades ago, it was obvious that Britain's conservative
government had no intention of allowing an American divorcee to become
queen of England. The king had to choose between the throne and love.
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Returning to the present case, when Charles becomes king, Camilla will be
known as Princess Consort, not as Queen Camilla. On their marriage, Camilla
will be given the title of Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Cornwall, while
Charles remains as Prince of Wales. Charles met Camilla at a polo match in
1970, 11 years before his marriage to Lady Diana Spenser, a kindergarten
worker who became "Princess Di."
"No Briton over age 30 can forget the royal fever that gripped her majesty's
nation when Charles wed the bashful blushing Diana in 1981," writes John
Leicester. But many, those who paid close attention to this marriage, knew
that it was a traditional marriage of convenience, as has been common with
royalty, to serve the purpose of producing an heir to the British throne. Well,
life doesn't go always as planned. Camilla had been present in Charles' life
long before Diana's arrival. It's been a 35-year love affair, through most of
which each was married to another, and their love has stood the test of time
and confirms Simone Signoret's statement: "Chains do not hold marriages
together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together
through the years. That is what makes a marriage last -- more than passion or
even sex!"
Though Britons have mixed opinions about this union, the royal family has
been consulted; constitutional and religious matters have been resolved. In
addition, Entertainment Tonight reported that the Prince may have decided to
marry Camilla to avoid, what the London Times calls a "Looming
Constitutional Crisis" if Charles were still living with Camilla when he
becomes king. He is giving the British public time to accept her as his wife
before he is crowned.
Marriage is a very personal and private decision for the couple involved.
These two want to spend the rest of their lives together. If they care about the
ceremony and royal title, I believe, it's just to appease the public.
I took a few minutes to go over the seven-page article, "Europe has bad
luck with royal marriages," by AP writer John Leicester. He writes, "From
Windsor to Monaco and beyond, many royal marriages have turned sour or
been tainted by scandal, with illegitimate children, divorces, sordid affairs and
tragedies that tabloids dole up to publics whose appetite for the dirty laundry
of royalty is seemingly unquenchable." Let us hope Charles and Camilla's life
together, henceforth, proves an exception, sails smoothly, and lasts "until
death us do part."
According to the old belief, marriages are made in heaven. Maybe Charles
and Camilla are destined to be together. Considering the hurdles they have
overcome, it's the royal couple's day. They have earned it. Let them enjoy it.
Let us wish them a long and healthy married life together.
May God bless this union.
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You are as young as

January 12, 2006
As Dr. Henry N. Tisdale finishes his 11th year of exquisite service at

Claflin University as her president, I have a confession to make. When I
joined the Claflin family in January 1986, I was in a difficult personal
situation. Dr. and Mrs. Rogers asked me to join the Claflin family. Mrs.
Rogers decided to retire in order to care for her aging father in 1993. And
when Dr. Rogers retired in 1994, Dr. Henry N. Tisdale, the leal and loyal
son of Claflin, a 1965 graduate, became Claflin Universitys eighth
president. Having been born and raised in a culture that demands complete
dependence on and loyalty towards ones parents, I thought to have the same
kinds of feelings for Dr. Tisdale that I had for Dr. Rogers would be like being
unfaithful; besides, this new person was a stranger to me. I sat very neutrally
in every meeting that was called during the week that Dr. Tisdale assumed the
presidency of Claflin College.
But in his very first address as president he spoke about the importance of
teamwork, Claflin College as a family, and how one should not ask anyone to
perform certain tasks that he cant perform himself. Dr. Tisdale ended his
address by quoting Matthew 7:12: Do unto others as you would have others
do unto you. This made me recognize Dr. Tisdale as a man of faith, a man
who respects God out of love, not out of fear, and who accepts that God, who
loves him, loves other persons too.
Being culturally different, especially in attire and with an unusual and
rather difficult last name to pronounce, I was referred to at times as the lady
who wears something that goes round and round. I was not sure how much I
was going to be liked and accepted by the new administration. In the
beginning, when the faculty assembled for meetings, if Dr. Tisdale passed by
me, he paused to ask me, Whats your name again?
In the beginning, Dr. Tisdale expressed his concern at a faculty meeting
that the faculty become acquainted with the Board of Trustees. With this
intent, he initiated the idea of the annual reception given by the Board of
Trustees for the faculty. I would like to see each one of you there, said Dr.
Tisdale, while concluding his comments at that faculty meeting.
Even after working for eight years at Claflin, I felt alone and foreign when
I went to the reception. Coincidentally, Dr. Tisdale was close to the entrance;
noticing my unease, he walked up to me and said, Just walk around and say
Hello to a few. I responded, I will. Thank you, Dr. Tisdale. Dr. Tisdale
may not remember this incident, but I will never forget it, for his courteous
concern boosted my confidence and reassured me regarding my membership
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in the Claflin family. At this moment, Dr. Tisdale claimed his special place in
my heart.
Claflins Guiding Principles illustrate the Universitys value system. Each
of us must accept responsibility as a family member and do it right. Under
his administration, Claflin established the Presidential Scholarship Program,
the Honors College Scholarships, the Deans Scholarships, and the capital
campaign external funds to establish more endowed scholarships to attract
better variety of students from the Northeast, the Midwest, West, as well as to
the Caribbean, Africa and Asia, without neglecting the traditional base. We
dont have to dream about the global village any longer; we live in it on
Claflins campus.
I love Claflin Pride Day. This is another one of Dr. Tisdales several
innovations. It implements his ardent belief that each person, regardless of
his/her social rank or position, has a call from God. The very first time during
his tenure as president that he was praised for the positive changes that he had
brought to Claflin, Dr. Tisdale humbly responded, Thats only because I
stand on the shoulders of great men of vision, the past presidents. I believe
Dr. Tisdales greatness lies in his faith, humility, concern, and hard work for
the greater good of all. He earns loyalty from faculty and staff; he does not
demand it. As a role model, he has cultivated a culture of character at Claflin
University.
I learned from one of my colleagues about a year ago that Dr. Tisdale was
born on January 13. According to the Vedic calendar, January 13 and 14 are
astrologically very special. January 13 is perhaps the first day of earths
journey from the Tropic of Capricorn. The symbol for Capricorn, the
mountain goat, as described by many astrologers, is always busy climbing to
the pinnacle of its aims and ambitions. Its ascent is not impulsive but
calculated slowly with a precise understanding of the stops along the way. The
symbol also represents the sea goat, which already possesses all the riches of
the oceans but climbs upon the land in order to distribute abundance with the
awareness of the Divine Source from which all power springs.
According to the Vedic solar calendar, this day marks the beginning of the
solar month, an auspicious time. By increasing daylight, each day starts to
brighten the dark winter. Hindus celebrate this astrological change as
Sankramana or Sankranti, which means a radical change, an evolution in
positive direction, a journey towards bright and brighter light each day.
One might say that a birthday is just like any other day. Since it does not
stop us from working, why should such a great deal be made about it? It is
true that every day is an equally important day. Every day is a new day, a new
beginning. We wake up each day with new plans and hopes, and we are
expected to make the best of the day. To make each day a little less
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challenging, we seek support and encouragement from people in our

environment. What could be better than connecting ones birthday to the
planet, sun, moon, stars to get that support to strive, to seek, to find, and not to
yield?
Though birthdays make us count our age, according to the late General
Douglas MacArthur, called as American Caesar, by William Manchester,
People grow old only by deserting their ideals. . . . You are as young as your
faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your
fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. In the central place of
every heart there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of
beauty, hope, cheer, and courage, so long are you young.
Dr. Tisdale remains confident, hopeful, cheerful, inspiring, optimistic, and
free from doubt. He says, Better days for Claflin are yet ahead. His
statement is supported by the fact that Claflin has been constantly on the rise
during his administration.
If you run into Dr. Tisdale on January 13, remember to wish him a happy
birthday and many more to come.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Born on the 13th?

January 10, 2008
Number 13 is firmly associated with the notion of "bad luck." It's

considered ominous by many.
The number 13 conjures up images of witches, black cats and even death,
since the 13th card of the Tarot is the card of Death and is pictured as a
skeleton (the symbol of death) with a scythe reaping down men in a field of
newly grown grass where young faces and heads appear cropping up on all
sides.
This image later became known as "The grim reaper," and it was ascribed
to the planet Saturn. In the medieval England, the standard fee for the
hangman was 13 pence a shilling and a penny.
Thirteen became "unlucky" around the Middle Ages. The probable reason
was that Judas, a so-called villain, a betrayer of Jesus, was the "13th" apostle at
the Last Supper.
In antiquity, 12 was perfect, complete number, so 13 indicated the
beginning of a new cycle. The idea of the end of one cycle and beginning of
another may be how the number 13 came to be considered as a symbol of
death. According to Nature's Law, the old one has to die to make room for the
new one. At the mystic, Uncrossing, Protection and Purification, rituals are
performed for 13 days, using 13 items and reciting prayers 13 times.
Thus number 13 stimulates unexplained fears. The dread of 13 is so
widespread in American culture that laborious efforts have been made to
avoid any association with it whatsoever. Floors of buildings are spared the
curse of 13 by skipping the number altogether.
Nevertheless, America is closely associated with the number 13. Starting
with 13 colonies, the first national flag had 13 stars, and even today, it still has
13 stripes. Not to forget that the phrase "July the Fourth" contains 13 letters.
The green side of the dollar bill is a standout for number 13. On the green side
of the dollar bill, there are 13 steps in the pyramid of the Great Seal. The
motto above the pyramid, which reads "Annuit Coeptis", has 13 letters; the
eagle on the right side has a ribbon in its beak that bears the motto "E Pluribus
Unum," which contains 13 letters. The eagle has 13 tail feathers, and on its
breast, there's a shield of 13 stripes. In one talon the eagle holds 13 arrows and
in the other an olive branch with 13 leaves and 13 berries. Over the eagle's
head are 13 stars that form the six-pointed "Star of David."
One may discard the notion by calling it "fluke" to stick to his or her
superstition. However, the facts are hard to ignore and may encourage us to
take an optimistic look.
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In addition, the average celestial motion of the moon is 13 degrees per day,
and Earth takes 13 weeks to travel from the equinox to the solstice. Then
13x452 weeks is the time Earth takes to complete evolution around the sun,
and in most years, lunation (i.e., conjunction between the sun and moon)
occurs 13 times.
Internationally, the fear of number 13 is unfounded. It's an honored number
in many countries around the world. There are 13 occurrences of the quantity
13 in the design of the Great Pyramid of Gaze in Egypt, the largest stone
edifice ever built. In the Indian Pantheon, there are 13 Buddhas. The mystical
discs that surmount Indian and Chinese pagodas are 13 in number. Enshrined
in the Temple of Atsuta in Japan is a sacred sword with 13 objects of mystery
forming its hilt. And 13 was the sacred number of the ancient Mexicans - they
had 13 snake gods.
If the skeptics are not still convinced tell them, "I was born on 13th, but it
wasn't Friday." Remember, what matters is one's confidence and what he or
she, not others, thinks about his or her personal attitude and achievements.
With one's own high self-esteem, belief in humanity, and faith in the divine
power, anyone will do just fine, regardless of the day he or she was born.
It is true that every day is an equally important day. Every day is a new
day, a new beginning. We wake up each day with new plans and hopes, and
we are expected to make the best of the day. While we seek support and
encouragement from people in our environment to make each day a little less
challenging, nothing could be better than understanding the mysticism of
number 13 as the Almighty's grace. And then cautiously employ the given
power and dominion positively for the greater good.
Let us wish happy birthday to all who are born on the 13th.
SECTION III
Movies and Books
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From homeless to Harvard

November 9, 2007
I believe, as Robert Frost has written, that persistent people begin their
success where others end in failures. Here is a story of persistence. The
courageous Liz Murray, a young teenager, triumphed over insurmountable
odds by believing in herself.
Liz Murray grew up extremely poor. Her parents were drug addicts.
Murrays mother also suffered from AIDS and mental illness. Her father was
HIV positive and unemployed. Longing for parental love, Murray writes,
There is something about a parents love that determines the size of the
world for you; its your foundation. In the deepest, most important sense there
are no adults there for me. At 15, she found herself alone and out on the
streets. Instead of crumbling, the troubled teen clung to hope.
Liz Murray knew she was smart and could succeed. She just needed a
chance to climb out of this place she was born in. She said, Everyone I know
is angry and tired. Theyre trying to survive. But I know that there is a world
out there that is better, thats better developed. And I want to live in it. Liz
Murray was determined to find and live in that better and developed world.
Seventeen-year-old Liz Murray decided to finish high school in two years.
While keeping up with her classes, she worked odd jobs to make a little
money. She packed bags for the grocer, pumped gas in self-service stations
and hustled tips as a waitress, and did peoples laundry, walked dogs. She did
whatever she could to survive. However, Murray still constantly struggled
financially, but, she says, she made enough money to get by.
Nineteen-year-old Liz Murray was attending Harvard University, and by
22, she was helping to create a TV movie based on her life. When she was
asked how Lifetime got a hold of her story, she responded, When I won the
New York Times College Scholarship, they printed a brief overview of my
life. 20/20 picked it up and it snowballed from there.
Homeless to Harvard: The Liz Murray Story was made for Lifetime
Television. The film made in 2003 was the recipient of three Emmy Award
nominations.
After her mothers death, while Liz Murray was attending Harvard, her life
began moving at a faster pace. She also became caretaker for her ill father,
and decided to leave Harvard because it was not the best fit for her.
Liz Murray has become a Lifetime moderator and participates in Lifetime
Chats to encourage youths and as a role model she advises them to overcome
adversities. At Lifetime, its important to remind ourselves and all women
and girls in our lives that each of us can face our own personal challenges and
reach for the stars, Murray states.
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Now, she travels extensively around the world as an inspirational speaker

and as a celebrity. Shes been telling her story to different audiences. She
says, If Im in a corporate setting, its all about determination and fortitude.
Her favorite place to go is classrooms, especially high schools where she can
just be honest and say, Look, its hard it takes some of this and watch out
for that and no one is perfect but this is what Ive learned. Encouraging
youths has to do mainly with finding a way to relate to them. The distance
they have from success in their lives probably has to do with core beliefs they
have about themselves or about the world around them. If you can find that
core, open it up. Investigate it. Then you can find a way to bring them out of
it. Make a bridge between where they are and where they might be better off.
Talking about her friend, she recounts, The friend who really became the
most like family was Chris. Shes portrayed in the movie. She was out in the
streets with me. She left home when she was 13. Now, shes 21 and shes still
living on friends couches. Its sometimes hard sharing with my friends all the
things Im doing now. Im always on an airplane going off to do something,
giving speeches and meeting people. Ill come back and some of my friends
are playing video games, and I come in and say, I just gave a speech with
Gorbachev. Its especially hard with Chris, since we had a parallel journey at
one point in time.
Liz Murray didnt wait for opportunity to knock on her door. She made the
opportunity available with her tenacity and hard work. Beating all odds, she
worked hard to earn a college scholarship. As soon as she received it, her
sheer luck has been smiling at her nonstop. Dropping out of Harvard didnt
matter. Her name fame and fortune have been on the rise.
This homeless young girl was once envious as she looked around at people
who lived outside of her circle and enjoyed normal things, like education,
stable living situations, a roof over their head, and family. She realized that
there was another, better world which was different from the one she was
living. She used that envy and insight to drive her far from the surroundings to
which she was first bound.
Currently, Liz Murray claims that she is editing her memoir; next fall she
plans to go to NYC to graduate from college and take courses in filmmaking.
She says, Ive always been in love with the medium. Ive sketched out
screenplays and taken film classes. Id like to make films not big
Hollywood blockbusters, but films with real thought to them. Some of my
favorites are The Color Purple and Forest Gump.
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The Trip to Bountiful

July 2008
One of the perks of summer vacation is, if I end up having a lunch, dinner,
or tea by myself, I can turn on the television and while flipping channels, if I
find something interesting, I can watch the entire segment, even its a movie.
This afternoon, after finishing a few chores and running errands, I sat down
with a cup of tea and the TV remote-control. I stopped flipping through the
channels when I saw a distressed young man in his pajamas and a rather
unhappy-looking elderly woman who, seemed like, was not ready to end the
day. She was asking him why wasnt he asleep, and he asked in response how
could he possibly sleep with so much unrest around and the apartment was so
brightly lit. Curiously, I kept on watching the movie.
The Trip to Bountiful tells the story of an elderly woman, Carrie Watts, the
widow who shares a cramped two-room apartment in Houston (in 1953) with
her meek son, Ludie, and her pretentious, outspoken daughter-in-law, Jessie
Mae. In the twilight years of her life, she longs to revisit her childhood
hometown Bountiful to recapture the vitality and purpose she seemed to have
lost when she left for the big city decades ago.
This pilgrimage is motivated by the desire to connect with her better self.
She wants to die better than she has been living:
"I've turned into a hateful, quarrelsome old woman. And before I leave
this earth, I'd like to recover some of the dignity, she says, "the peace
I used to know. For I'm going to die."
Forbidden to travel alone, she wishes for freedom from the confines of the
house and begs her son to take her on a visit to Bountiful. However, her only
wish is overlooked by Ludie, who is too concerned about her health to allow
her to travel alone and petty Jessie Mae, who insists they don't have money to
squander on bus tickets.
Though, the household matters run dutifully, the lack of intimacy between
Mrs. Watts and Jessie Mae is evident. The old Mrs. Watts cooks, cleans, and
takes care of the household chores, while Jessie Mae goes socializing and
visiting a beauty parlor. It seems like she is more interested in her mother-inlaws pension checks than in caring for her needs, wants and feelings. And
Ludie seems like a poor, indecisive man caught between two very strong
women.
When her only wish and frequent begging her son to take her on a trip to
Bountiful is refused, undeterred Mama Watts outwits her son and her bossy
daughter-in-law. When they are out, she strips off her pajamas to reveal a
dress underneath. And, with her tiny suitcase, and a few dollars and the most
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recent pension check in her purse, she escapes to the train station to set out on
venture in search of happier times.
She walks to both the train and the bus station; at both places, dispatchers
tell her that no trips go to Bountiful anymore. She buys a bus ticket for a
nearby town and heads off with great excitement, evading Ludie and Jessie
Mae.
On the journey, Mrs. Watts encounters a delightful young lady named
Thelma and relates her life story, sings hymns to her heart's content. She
befriends this newly wed Thelma, who is traveling alone to join her husband.
As they start chit-chatting, Mrs. Watts ponders her younger years and grieves
for her lost relatives. She tries to explain Thelma how difficult it is for the
younger generation to understand how elderly people feel.
The bus arrives at the destination late at night. Mrs. Watts, along with
Thelma, gets off the bus. She is shocked to learn that the friend she wanted to
see in Bountiful died just days earlier, and that the town itself no longer has
any residents. She also realizes that she left her purse on the bus, but the
dispatcher calls ahead to have it brought back.
Mrs. Watts blithely wonders with Thelma why her life is filled with
trouble, yet relief. They continue to chat affectionately until the bus that
would take Thelma to her destination arrives. Thelma listens to Mrs. Watts
talk and shares a sandwich with her. As Thelmas bus arrives, bidding
goodbye to Mrs. Watts, Thelma takes off to her destination. With no one
around, except a dozing dispatcher in his office, Mrs. Watts, using her suitcase
as a pillow, sleeps on the bench.
Back home, her son and daughter-in-law eventually track her down, with
the help of the local police force.
Hours later, the town sheriff comes by to tell the dispatcher he'd gotten a
call looking for Mrs. Carrie Watts. The sheriff tells Mrs. Watts that Ludie is
coming to pick her up in the morning. However, she is not to be beaten. She
explains to him how long she has been longing to visit this place and how
inconvenient it has been for her son and daughter-in-law to fulfill her
yearning, and if she leaves unfulfilled, she would never be able make this trip
again. Thus, she persuades the sheriff to not only release her from custody but
also drive her to Bountiful, 12 miles from the village she was in.
As the sheriff escorts her, Mrs. Watts sadly surveys her father's land, the
deserted village and the few remaining derelict houses. She has desperately
returned one last time to her boondocks hometown, where even the sad
memories bring her happiness.
She is moved to tears. Sitting beside her, the sheriff affectionately listens to
her reminisce about how bountiful her childhood was with all those honest,
loving, hardworking people and the land around, though everything wasnt
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always perfect. When she eventually becomes emotional, knowing that she
has outlived her family and her house, the sheriff leaves her alone to walk
through to see the remains of the family home.
When Ludie arrives to the house, he finds his mother sitting on the porch.
She says she got her wish. Ludie regrets for not bringing her earlier, saying, "I
just thought it'd be easier if we never saw the house again," and he refuses to
go in. As they stand outside, Ludie gets upset recalling his grandfather's
funeral at the house when he was 10. Pointing out that he's no children, he
feels that he's never done good by his mother or wife. He confesses that he's
been repressing the memories of his childhood, because they do not help him.
He sits beside her and listens to her reminisce a little more. His mother
wonders what will still be left after they and the house are gone: the river, the
fields, the trees, the smell. She tells Ludie they are all part of the land that
keeps changing.
By then, the daughter-in-law gets off the car and walks towards them, as
she complains about the heat, how dust and mud ruined her expensive fancy
footwear. She blames her mother-in-law for causing all this trouble and
making them worry about her poor heart. And she confronts Ludie to tell
Mama the new "rules" she has for her, such as no more running away. And
she asks Mama Watts where her pension check was.
Mama Watts assures them that her heart is fine and apologizes for causing
all this hassle. She agrees, and she pleasantly adds that her trip has been "more
than enough to keep me happy for the rest of my life."
Suggesting that they should all get along better, Ludie calms them down.
And he sets certain behavioral rules for his wife and mother so that there can
be peace in the family. In addition, getting mad with Jessie Mae for distrusting
his mother, he tells his wife to let his mother keep the check.
After all that anguish, arguments, talks and agreements, senior Mrs. Watts
takes a last moment to sit on the ground and look at the house, as if to bid
goodbye silently. She softly cries as Ludie drives them away.
Thus, The Trip to Bountiful, though Carrie Watts as the major character,
depicts a son who is caught in responsibility conflicts between filial affection
and pleasing his spouse. The gap between the two generations understandings
is vast and noticeable. What appeals me more of this movie is that as Mama
Watts leaves the house for the journey she longed for long, everyone she
encounters is cordial to her. And she is much livelier on her journey than she
is at her sons. No one deceives or robs her; instead, each one, including the
town sheriff, listens to her patiently, empathizes with her, and helps her in
making long awaited journey bountiful. In other words, the senior Mama
Watts journey proves that lifes journey is bountiful when its surrounded by
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caring people. And it is solacing to see that there are plenty of good people
and so much goodness around in this world.
Mrs. Watts rediscovering her past and sharing all of her emotions and
experiences with us are worth treasuring for generations to come. What Mama
Watts tells her son, They are all part of the land that keeps changing, is the
fact. The theme of the storyline, we all are part of the land that keeps changing
and the gap between the two generations understandings is timeless and
universal. A little pondering would make one realize how the depth of the
subject matter symbolizes the common nature of life: Everything which is
born is subjected to alter and is going to demise eventually.
Thus, we come to love this eccentric character, Mama Watts, as if she were
a part of our family. She could be our grandmother, our mother, and
eventually each one of us, as each generation moves forward with its own
pace, with its own thoughts, dreams, and ambitions.
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A tale of fate
A Woman of Paris
February 14, 2009
The instant one of my friends asked me what I was planning to write for
Valentines Day, the following story flashed in front of my minds eye,
though I am not sure if the story fits the occasion.
Marie St. Clair and her beau, aspiring artist Jean Millet, plan to leave their
small French village for Paris, where they will marry. The night before their
scheduled departure, Marie climbs down from her second-floor bedroom for a
rendezvous with Jean. Her stepfather sees them strolling down a lane; he locks
her out of the house.
Marie accompanies Jean to his home only to learn that Jeans parents are
not thrilled with their sons romance, either. Marie goes to the train station, as
Jean promises to follow her. However, when Jean is about to walk out, he
realizes his father has died while sitting in his chair in front of the fireplace.
Jean telephones Marie at the station to tell her he cant go with her to Paris.
However, before he explains his reason, Jeans conversation with Marie is
interrupted.
Nevertheless, Marie gets on the train to Paris, joins a wealthy social circle
and enjoys a life of luxury as a mistress of wealthy businessman Pierre Revel.
One night, accepting her friends invitation to attend a raucous party in the
Latin Quarter, Marie enters the wrong building and knocks on the door. She is
surprised to be greeted by Jean Millet. Learning that he has become an
accomplished artist, she hires him to paint her portrait.
When Jean calls on Marie at her apartment to begin the painting, she
notices a black armband he is wearing and asks why he is in mourning. Jean
tells her his father has died. Marie asks when, and Jean replies, The night you
left.
Marie models in a rich-looking silver dress representing her new life;
however, Jean paints her in the simple dress she wore on the night she left him
for Paris. When questioned, Jean tells her that he stills likes the old Marie.
Marie and Jean revive their romance. As Jean proposes to Marie, she tells
Pierre that she wants out of her loveless life; she wants to marry Jean and start
a family, though Pierre isnt so sure, for he knows Marie has become fond of
the luxuries he has provided. Jeans mother, who shares the apartment with
Jean, disapproves the marriage. Angry Jean starts to leave; however, after
opening the door and leaving it ajar, in an attempt to console his mother, he
tells her that the proposal was spur-of-the-moment and not serious. Marie
happens to eavesdrop, as she arrives unexpectedly outside Jeans apartment at
that moment. A chastened Marie returns to Pierre.
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Jean fails to convince Marie that he was just trying to appease the older
woman and that he didnt mean what she overheard. One night, feeling jilted,
Jean slips a gun into his coat pocket and goes to the exclusive restaurant
where Marie and Pierre are dining. Jean asks the attendant to give Marie a
note asking her to meet him one last time. Pierre sees the note and invites Jean
to join them. Jean and Pierre get into a scuffle, and Jean is ejected from the
dining room. Jean stands by the fountain in the restaurants foyer, pulls out the
gun and fatally shoots himself.
After the police bring in Jeans body, Jeans mother retrieves the gun and
goes to Maries apartment. However, not finding Marie, she returns only to
find her kneeling by Jeans body and sobbing. Touched by Maries grief, she
reconciles. The two women move to the French countryside, where they open
a home for orphans in a country cottage.
One morning, when Marie and one of the girls in her care walk down the
lane to get a pail of milk, they meet a group of sharecroppers with a horsedrawn wagon who offer them a ride back in the wagon. At the same time,
Pierre Revel and another gentleman are riding through the French countryside
in a chauffeur-driven automobile. When asked by his companion, What ever
happened to that Marie St. Clair? Pierre replies ambiguously, I dont know.
Pierres automobile and the horse-drawn wagon then pass each other, heading
in opposite directions. A striking contrast in two different lifestyles reminds
the viewers that a pocketful of money alone doesnt buy love.
Obviously, Jean comes from a world where relationships are extremely
important, whether romantic or family. He is trapped and torn throughout his
life between filial duties and his romantic relationship with the woman he
loves. The star-crossed lovers are never given a chance at happiness. Maries
sacrificial commitment to keep Jean alive in her memory has its own
bittersweet ending. Real love is the one that survives the test of time. Sad or
happy ending, love has its own mystic power. Marie epitomizes Shakespeares
wish expressed in A Midsummer Nights Dream: Sweet friends, may thy
love neer alter till thy sweet life end! Love may be the wildest woe, but it is
the sweetest joy. Though tainted with earth, it has the scent of heaven in it.
Yes! You guessed it right. This was a silent film with a message that time
heals, and the secret of happiness is in service to others. Produced and
directed by Charlie Chaplin, A Woman of Paris debuted in 1923.
I was deeply touched by this tale of fate. I hope you, too, enjoy reading it.
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Happily ever after

March 23, 2009
This evening, when I ended up eating late dinner by myself, I unthinkingly

reached for the remote and pressed the "On" button. While channel surfing, I
stopped at the channel that had just started playing a movie Loving Leah.
An ambitious, handsome, non-practicing Jew, 30-year-old cardiologist
Jake Lever, who is dating a non-Jewish co-worker, learns about his rabbi
brother's sudden death. When he goes to attend the funeral, he is shocked to
learn about the ancient Jewish practice of levirate marriage, chalitzah, which
requires a man to marry his brother's childless widow, so the brother's line
will endure. Jake is left with a choice, either to marry his brother's widow or
to deny his brother's existence by going through a ritual, the halizah
ceremony, which involves shoe-throwing.
The rabbi has been estranged from Jake for six years. Although Leah is
Jake's sister-in-law, they barely know each other, so Jake, to relieve himself
from this obligation, agrees to go through shoe-throwing ceremony. However,
during the ceremony, when it comes to the part "deny your brother's
existence," he can't go through it. Thus, to honor his brother's memory, Jake
agrees to marry Leah. They both agree to keep it strictly platonic, though.
Leah, a 26-year-old orthodox woman who has never left her Brooklyn
neighborhood, moves to Washington with Jake and shares his apartment. Her
intentions are to get her GED in order to pursue the dream of attending college
and escape the meddling of her overbearing mother. As the love story spins
around the unexpected wedding and unconventional married life, Leah feels
uncomfortable living in the house of a stranger who is dating another woman.
As they continue to live their fake marriage, eventually, Jake and Leah begin
to appreciate each other more and more. The plot follows a predictable format
with the ending exactly what one would expect. The girl eventually breaks up
with Jake, and he falls in love with Leah.
Next day in a group conversation, when I mentioned how I ended up
watching the entire movie and related its storyline, the others opined that it
was an interesting odd love story with mismatched courtship, and a strange
way to bring a couple together, without certainty of a lasting relationship.
However, since I was born and raised in a culture in which the custom of
arranged marriages is the norm and love between married couples is assumed,
I find two strangers getting married and moving in together quite normal,
though I'm not familiar with the ancient Jewish practice of levirate marriage.
Each person is the product of the culture and society in which he or she is
born and raised.
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I remember when I joined my husband in the States, especially, in the

beginning, how often I was asked about my clothing and the dot on my
forehead, our food as vegetarians and culture. The curious ones particularly
wanted to know how the custom of arranged marriages worked for us and how
I knew that I was going to like my husband and if the marriage was going to
end up "happily ever after."
No marriage is guaranteed "happily ever after." When partners commit to
spend their lives together by taking their wedding vows, the work of making
the marriage happy and lasting begins. It's an ongoing process. As time passes
by, one's personality, thoughts, behavior, and looks are subjected to change.
With realistic expectations, the spouses must work constantly to keep the
marriage happy.
As it is said, "Marriages are made in heaven," there is an element of faith
in each marriage. It strengthens couples to face any obstacles together. Love,
respect, and caring for each others feelings and needs succeed in making
one's marriage "happily ever after."
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'Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans'

February 8, 2009
Recently, I was glad to run into a former coworker, Carl Fairy, in WalMart. After we exchanged our greetings, Mr. Fairy told me he enjoys reading
my columns. I thanked him for his kind words. As he passed by saying, Take
care, I turned around and noticed a female staring at me.
With a smile, she said, I thought I had seen you somewhere. So you are
the one who writes for the newspaper. I love reading your columns. And then
commenting on the dismal economy, she added how ordinary people are
suffering every day. Jobless people cant pay their bills, mortgage, rent or
even get food. People are becoming homeless and dont know where to turn
while others have watched their retirement savings go down the drain and are
feeling overly stressed. Then she talked about how she avoids the news media
that harp on more of the same bad news by reading or watching something
delightful. She asked me to write stories with happy endings, so here Im
writing about the movie that I watched a while ago to purge off my unhopeful
mood.
A woman from the city comes to the country for a summer vacation and
seduces a happily married farmer who has a baby. The city woman convinces
the man to kill his wife and move to the city with her. She suggests that he
drown the wife and make it look like an accident. After agonizing, the man
decides to do it.
Thinking about his escape after he drowns his wife, he makes some
bundles of sticks and weeds, which will enable him to swim away safely. He
takes his wife out for a boat trip. Stopping in the middle of the lake, he walks
towards her with his fists clenched. Terrified, she clasps her hands together
and begins to pray. Church bells suddenly ring. Shaken out of his trancelike
state, the man rows the boat to the shore. The wife starts to cry and runs out of
the boat into the woods.
He chases her onto a trolley, which takes them into the city. When they get
off, he tries to buy her food and some flowers, but she cant stop crying and
wont look at him or talk to him. They notice a wedding taking place in the
church across the street. They go into the church to watch the ceremony. He
starts to cry as the minister delivers the marriage vows. Placing his head in his
wifes lap, he asks her to forgive him. Later, the man gets a shave and a
haircut at a barber shop, and he and his wife visit a wedding photographer and
have their portrait taken. Then they have a wonderful time at an amusement
park, where they play, drink and dance for the rest of the day.
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As night falls, they get back on the trolley to sail home by moonlight.
However, a violent lightning storm strikes. The man ties the bundles of sticks
and weeds to his wifes back. The couple separates when the boat capsizes,
throwing them both into the water. The man safely reaches the shore and
organizes a search party to look for his wife. Theyre unable to find her.
Shattered, the man returns home and finds waiting the city woman who thinks
that he went through with their plan. As she tries to hug him and he to strangle
her, he hears a cry from his maid, telling him his wife has been found. He runs
to see her. Shes alive but unconscious, so he puts her in bed. In the morning,
the city woman leaves the village. As the sun rises over their house, the wife
opens her eyes and sees her husband and baby sleeping next to her.
Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans is German film producer and director
F.W. Murnaus first silent film in America. In addition to winning three
Oscars at the very first Academy Awards ceremony in 1928, the film won a
special Oscar for Unique and Artistic Picture, the only time this award has
ever been given. The story, though overwhelming at times, is comforting. The
image used of city represents a dark temptation at first, but city is what brings
the man and woman together again. Though idealized, the country is
portrayed realistically as places where you may not have to sail yourself
through a crowd, but you do have to face deceptive consequences directly.
Superstition, inner passion, pain and romanticism driving the love triangle are
appealing.
As reported, people are indulging in comfort foods and watching movies,
especially comedies, to safeguard themselves, Im no exception. Eating dark
chocolate, while sipping green tea, and watching a classic movie on the TV
are my weapons. Everyone needs a little escapism to make him or hers feel
better.
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A life of content
Lilies of the Field
April 28, 2009
Collecting a few editions of The Times and Democrat that were piled up to
read later, I sat down to take a breather. As I started flipping and browsing
through the pages, the title of a health advice column by Dr. Peter H. Gott
stirred my curiosity. This reader wrote about how she takes two regular Oreo
cookies, carefully separates them, then takes the two cream halves, places one
blue M&M on one and a green on the other and eats the half with the blue
M&M before dinner and green after. After a dozen years of this regimen, she
feels younger, happier and more content in life, so she asked, Could this be a
fountain of youth? Dr. Gotts query, what do you do with the two noncream-covered halves? If I ate those pieces, would the effect be reversed or
voided out? made me laugh heartily.
Another story was different: a 51-year-old bookkeeper charged with
embezzling $10 million in money and goods, forcing her company to lay off
others. I wondered what pleasure this woman experienced by looking at the
stuff she bought while conning her employer! How much does it take to live a
life of content?
Wanting to be free of any influence or from more of the same dismal news,
I switched to the commercial-free TMC channel, which, coincidently, just
started playing the Academy Award-winning film, Lilies of the Field.
Aimless ex-soldier Homer Smith is on his way to California when his car
overheats in the Arizona desert. He stops at an isolated farm to get some water
for his car and encounters a group of nuns. He is persuaded to do a small
roofing repair by Mother Maria. He stays overnight, believing that he will be
paid in the morning. He tries to persuade Mother Maria by quoting Luke 10:7,
The laborer is worthy of his hire, but Mother Maria responds with a verse
saying, Look at the lilies of the field, they continue to appear beautiful even
though they get no payment. The bloom is to honor God but not to get paid for
their work.
All of Smiths words for payment fall on Mother Marias deaf ears. In fact,
the nuns have no money and subsist only by living off the land. However, the
Mother is convinced and looks heavenward gratefully and believes that God
has sent to her a big strong man to build a chapel in the convent compound.
Against his better judgment, Smith is persuaded to stay for a meal. Schmidt,
Mother Maria said in German-English accents, Ve build a shapel. I show
you.
Responding, If you think that Im building that, you are out of your
mind, Smith then agrees to stay another day to help clean the old foundation.
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Smith offers to give the nuns a ride to Sunday service so they do not have
to make the long trip on foot as they usually must. Declining the invitation to
attend the Catholic mass, Baptist Homer takes the opportunity to get a proper
breakfast from the service station/cafe/store adjacent to the Catholic service
and learns from the proprietor about the hardships that the nuns overcame in
order to emigrate from Eastern Europe over the Berlin Wall only to barely
scratch out a meager living on the farm that was willed to their order.
His reflection on how he had always wanted to be an architect but couldnt
afford the schooling impels him to finally agree to undertake the job of
building them a chapel. Smith gets a part-time job with the nearby
construction contractor to earn money to buy some real food as supplement
to the frugal diet the nuns are able to provide him. To pass the evenings, he
teaches the nuns some Basic English and even joins them in singing. They
share their Catholic chants and his Baptist hymns. At one point, he sings the
song Amen.
As word spreads about the endeavor, locals begin to show up to give
materials and to help in construction, but Smith rebuffs all offers of assistance
in the labor. After a long interval of watching Smith and impressed with his
determination, the locals find minuscule ways to lend a hand which Smith
cannot easily turn down. This greatly accelerates the progress, much to the
delight of everyone but Smith, for he wanted the credit of building the chapel
all by himself.
Almost overnight, Smith finds that hes become a building foreman and
contractor. Enduring the hassles of coordinating the work of so many, the
constant disputes with Mother Maria, and the trial of getting enough materials
for the building, Smith finally brings the chapel to completion, as he, rejecting
anyones help and saying, This one is just for me, erects the Crucifix, a
symbol of Jesus service and sacrifice, and writes his name below in the wet
cement HOMER SMITH.
The evening before the Sunday when the chapel is to be dedicated arrives.
All the work has been done. Exhausted Smith, after dinner English lessons,
uses as part of a sentence, I thank you for building the shapel, to help teach
Mother Maria more English. As she repeats correcting his pronunciation, I
thank you for building the chapel Thus, she thanks Smith inadvertently.
Up until that moment, it had been her practice to thank only God for the work,
assistance and gifts that Smith had provided to the nuns. It is a touching
moment between two strong-headed personalities.
Later, singing, along with the nuns, song Amen, Smith slips out of the
house. Taking one last look at the chapel he built, he, knowing that his work is
done, drives quietly off into the night.
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Lilies of the Field proved to be a perfect storyline to treat a gloomy

mood of mine. I had read the book and watched the movie before. However, I
watched it again, and I didnt feel guilty; I didnt feel like I wasted my time.
The storyline answered my query as to how little it takes to be happy and
make others happy.
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Real-life story behind 'Conviction'

December 8, 2010
I was drawn to the storyline of the movie Conviction immediately after the
news media started talking about it. The real-life story behind "Conviction" is
a Rhode Island woman, Betty Ann Waters, who has worked for more than two
decades to overturn her brother's "wrongful" murder conviction.
This story began almost 30 years ago, after a 48-year-old Massachusetts
woman was brutally murdered. Twenty six-year-old Kenny Waters, Betty
Ann's younger brother, was charged and imprisoned. Spending three years in
prison, facing five days of trial, 29-year-old Kenny Waters was put away for
the rest of his life, though he told them defiantly and repeatedly, "I never
killed nobody. ... I don't know what you are talking about."
Betty Ann admitted that Kenny was the life of the party and a
troublemaker. But she never believed that her brother was a murderer, though
everybody believed he did it, partly because his blood type matched that of the
perpetrator. Knowing in her heart that her brother was not a killer, Betty Ann
Walters, a working-class Massachusetts high school drop-out who ran a
Bristol, R.I., bar, put her life on hold, stopped being a mother, a wife, a friend,
enrolled in community college, then went on to law school. She became her
brother's attorney. Her life's mission and purpose became winning him his
freedom by proving him innocent of the crime he was accused of.
With no money and no connections, surrounded by people who are broke
and hardscrabble, she faced setback after setbacks, until after a long,
frustrating search, finally came a breakthrough. With the help of attorney
Barry Scheck's The Innocence Project, she was able to show through DNA
testing that the blood found at the murder scene was not her brother's - and
after 18 years in prison, Kenny Waters was declared innocent. "I think it's
absolutely amazing that she dedicated her life to this," was Kenny's response.
Tragically, in 2001, 47-year-old Kenny Water died of a freak fall, just six
months after his release. His sister comforts herself with a thought that he
enjoyed every minute of his freedom. Betty Ann Waters continues to live by
her convictions. Though she doesn't practice law, she still fights for others
wronged by the criminal justice system.
As this nonfiction storyline lets viewers watch closely and allows them to
be a part of the larger-than-life story, the core of what piques my interest is
that this story reminds me of one of our own Claflin alumni.
At the university's writing center, I am privileged to work closely with
students as they start bringing their resumes, personal statements, scholarships
and graduate school applications and essays to me for review. The longer I
have worked with them in this process, the more often I have been convinced
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that each one of us is born with dreams and ambitions. Below is one of the
examples to prove one who leads his life with purpose, works hard to fulfill
his mission, and brings his dreams to fruition.
This person wrote: Prior to my high-school graduation, I gained a profound
understanding of what it truly meant to be wrongfully convicted for a crime.
My father was accused of a crime that he did not commit, and since we could
not afford a "good" lawyer, one of integrity and competence, prison still
remains his home. My father's confinement denied him the opportunity to
witness me graduate valedictorian from high school, accept the leadership and
community service award. His absence deprived him of comforting me during
the time I needed him most, my battle with a cancer. After undergoing
chemotherapy, radiation and both occupational and physical therapy, I had no
doubt in my mind that I could overcome any hardship thrown in my path.
With an immense passion and a desire sparked by my father's unjust
detention, I decided to gain the best education possible and pursue a career in
law.
This is another example to prove that each person has amazing power
within himself that has not yet been tapped. Thus, these examples prove the
truthfulness behind the saying: Life is truly what one makes of it.
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Mandakini Hiremath
The Party Never Stops

Fall 2005
This afternoon my channel flipping came to sudden stop as I arrived to

Lifetime. Seeing a bunch of college kids drinking, giggling, babbling,
indecently exposing, I thought of watching it a little while to know what really
was going on.
The Party Never Stops: Diary of a Binge Drinker was a cautionary tale
of binge-drinking party girls on college campuses. With the fall semester just
around the corner, young people are packing their bags to leave for college. I
thought the storyline was educational and the timing was perfect, so I ended
up watching the entire movie.
The ambitious, athletic, over-achieving, 18-year-old, Jesse is eager to start
her first year of college. Her hardworking widowed mother, April, is bursting
with pride that Jesse is the first in their family to attend college. However, the
freshman instantly hits it off with her roommate, Shanna, who joins a sorority,
and her ebullient sisters fill their dorm with booze, boys and war whoops of
intoxicated frenzy.
April receives collective e-mail and watches attached videotape of girlsgone-wild, her daughter track star Jessie partying, drunk, and exposing her
breasts. She orders Jesse to come home right away. Jesse tries to convince her
mom that its not a big deal; everybody does it. However, her mother sticks
with the discussion, reminding Jesse that she is not there to drink and party.
She is at school to study, to secure a bright future and become a role model to
her younger sister, Sadie. Each time she is admonished, Jesse promises her
mother, but gives in to the peer pressure when she is back to campus. The
party never stops.
However, Jesses worried-sick mother constantly stays on her daughters
case; discusses Jessies behavior with experts, does online research to learn
about binge drinking, and keeps on calling her daughter, though most often
she ends up either talking with the voice mail or the cell phone turned off.
Jesse struggles with classes, hangovers and peer pressure. She fails to keep up
with her grades and the track team. Her scholarship is in jeopardy. If she
doesnt shape up, the only alternative left for her is to dropout, disappoint her
mother and sister. Thus, ruin her future.
Jessies plummet is punctuated by earnest lectures from April. The
worried-sick mother stays constantly involved in her childs college
experience, which becomes a moral lesson to her younger daughter. Finally,
Jesse gets it. Staying away from parties, she works hard to catch-up with her
studies and invigorates her stamina to regain her track record.
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This fetal night when Shanna invites her to go partying, Jessie refuses;
instead, she chooses to watch TV with a friend who confesses that he too was
once a party animal and now has been sober enough to know that one doesnt
need to party to know who he or she is!
When Jessie goes back to check on Shanna, she find her unconscious. She
screams for help, only to learn that Shanna was dead. The college life of
freedom and temptations ends in a death of her roommate. There is no chance
to turn around to set the situation right and bring Shanna back to life. All the
drunken kids are all of suddenly sober, mourning and trying to make sense of
what has happened. And there are no words to describe parents have to go
through.
More than 7 million teens and young adults ages 12 to 20 report that they
binge drink. Quite a few college-bound kids may know the stereotype the
college kid goes to [school] and goes crazy but they never think dying from
alcohol is really an issue. Also they think "that won't happen to me" and
parents brush off saying, Not my child. But time and again it has been
proved that it does happen and it could happen to anyone.
Parents should discuss the seriousness of the matter in depth before they
lose day-to-day control on their childrens life. Remind them that its good to
learn from others experience. When it comes to life or death situations, make
sure that they know staying alive, even without joining their peers is a lot
better than being dead. Keep their fingerers crossed in hopes that everything
goes well.
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Things Fall Apart

March 26, 2002
Things Fall Apart, the first and the most famous novel written
by Chinua Achebe, was under consideration at this meeting. Its
most striking feature is its creation of a complex, sympathetic
picture of a village culture in Africa. Achebe familiarizes the
reader with the Ibo culture and traditions and asserts that they
contain much of value.
Okonkwo, the central character and tragic hero, unlike his father, Unoko,
who feared blood and died penniless and without titles, is a self-made man
with strong convictions, a wrestler, a fierce warrior, a respected leader with
three of the four titles, three wives and eight children, a wealthy farmer with
his own Obi and a hut for each wife, and his own shrine.
Misfortunes, including his loss of two-thirds of the harvest for which he
borrowed seed-yams, though the loss was due to mother natures
unpredictable behavior (horrible drought or relentless downpours) leave
profound marks on Okonkwo, as do being reprimanded for insulting the
Goddess of Earth, Ani, breaking the week of peace, and being sent into exile
from his village for seven years to his mothers kinsmen in Mbanta for
accidentally killing a village boy. Its in Part II that things really begin to fall
apart. Okonkwos exile not only is a personal disaster but also removes him
from his home village at a crucial time so that when he finally returns, it is to
a changed world that he cannot adapt to. During his exile, the missionaries
brought British colonial government with them. Okonkwos uneasy
relationship with the newcomers is exacerbated by the fact that he has a vested
interest in maintaining the old ways. All his hopes and dreams are rooted in
the continuance of traditional culture. Okonkwo is fearful of and violently
resistant to the new religion, for it has the potential to undermine the lifelong
work of the clan that has been trying to please the gods of its ancestors. If
Okonkwo were to accept the new religion, his sacrifices to the gods, for
example, killing Ikemefuna, whom he loved as a son, would have been in
vain. Also, the twins who are stuffed into earthenware pots and left to die in
the Evil Forest would have died for no justifiable reason. One of his greatest
fears about the new religion is that it could destroy the social hierarchy of the
clan. The titleholders would no longer be respected, and Okonkwo would lose
his status and respect, his lifelong achievement, within the clan. By the end of
the novel, many of Okonkwos fears have been realized, and the social order
in the clan is falling apart. His fear of the new religion and government, which
causes Okonkwo to take the life of a white official, also causes him to take his
own life.
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Okonkwo has overcompensated for his fathers weakness in his life as well
as in his death. The words abomination to earth are used to describe both
deaths. But unlike his father, who had a swollen stomach and limbs, was left
to die in the Evil Forest and never had a burial), Okonkwo, who reminds the
reader of a Greek tragic hero with a flaw in his character, hangs himself,
proving himself to be a defiant hero defending his peoples way of life and
shedding light on the failure of the British to understand traditional beliefs and
values. Instead of leaving his body hanging (they left his father to die and rot),
members of his clan request the assistance of the British commissioner in
helping to bury his body; indeed, they are willing to pay the commissioners
men to do it. (According to their belief, since Okonkwo took his own life, his
body is evil; only strangers may touch it with impunity.) After the burial they
are ready to make sacrifices to cleanse the desecrated land. The ferocious
outburst of Obeierka, one of the most respected men and an elder friend to
Okonkwo, That man [Okonkwo] was one of the greatest men in Umuofia.
You drove him to kill himself; and now he will be buried like a dog. . . . tells
his tribesmen and readers about the great respect and sense of kinship that his
tribe members have for Okonkwo.
The novels simple, dignified language and fluent expository style keep
readers interest at a high pitch. When the characters in the novel speak, they
use an elevated diction full of proverbs meant to convey the sense of Ibo
speech. One of the most famous lines in the novel is one that is descriptive of
Achebes writing style in the novel: Proverbs are the palm-oil with which
words are eaten.
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Their Eyes Were Watching God

September 2002
Their Eyes Were Watching God is an American classic written

by Zora Neale Hurston and was first published in 1937. This is
the story of Janie Mae Crawford, a Southern Black woman in the
1930s and her transformation from a free spirited girl to a
thriving, independent woman in quest of love and happiness. The
novel begins with Janie Crawfords homecoming. Physically,
emotionally, and spiritually subdued but pacified, forty-year-old Janie returns
to Eatonville as the sun is setting, just as her quest for love and passion is. The
citizens of Eatonville are out on their porches to observe her return and to sit
in judgment, wondering where her husband, Tea Cake, is, whether he has
stolen her money, whether he has run off with a younger woman. Pheoby
Watson, her dear friend, stands up to defend her friend from the various
fabrications and walks over to Janies house with a dinner for her. Fully aware
of her neighbors curiosity, Janie says of her gossiping neighbors, Ah dont
mean to bother wid tellin em nothin, Pheoby. Taint worth de trouble. You
can tell em what Ah say if you wants to. After dinner Janie makes sure that
her friend has enough time to listen to the story of her life.
Janie was raised by her grandmother, Nanny Crawford, a former slave who
gave birth to her white masters child at the end of the Civil War. Janies
mother was raped when she was seventeen by a teacher and subsequently gave
birth to Janie, whom she soon abandoned. Janies conscious life begins when
she is sixteen: under the blossoming pear tree in the backyard, she has her first
revelation about love, sexuality, and identity. Nanny, after catching Janie
allowing Jonny Tailor to kiss her over the gatepost, arranges for her to marry
an older man, Logan Killicks, for her protection and a stable life. After Janie
marries, she goes to live on his sixty acres of land. However, Janie does not
love Logan. Learning that money doesnt equal happiness, she soon abandons
hope that she will grow to love him eventually. When Janie asks her husband
what he would do if she left him, he replies scornfully, You aint got no
particular place. Its where Ah need yuh. When Logan realizes that she has
been seeing somebody else, he threatens to kill her. She runs away from her
destructive and mouldy marriage to marry Joe Starks. Unfortunately, Janie
quickly comes to understand that Joe, like Logan, will coerce her into
submission by treating her like a possession: Whereas Killicks worked Janie
like a mule; Joe objectifies her like a medal around his neck. Joe responds to
the townspeople when Janie is requested to say a few words as the mayors
wife, Mah wife dont know nothin bout no speech-makin. Ah never
married her for nothin lak dat. Shes uh woman and her place is in de home.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Joe reveals to Janie that he always aimed tuh be uh big voice. You ought to
be glad, cause dat makes ah big woman outa you.
Janies resilience is rewarded, after the death of Joe, when she finally
meets and marries Tea Cake, a younger man without property or wealth but
one whose youthful idealism of love and marriage appeals to her. They
subsequently move to the Everglades. Tea Cake combs Janies hair and tells
her how beautiful it is. He teaches her to drive, fish, play checkers, and shoot
a gun. Janie works side-by-side with Tea Cake, who makes her feel loved and
independent. Unfortunately, Janies joy is short lived, lasting only two years.
When they run through a hurricane in order to escape the pursuing lake (heavy
winds during a rainstorm cause the water in Lake Okechobee to rise), a
ferocious, rabid dog bites Tea Cake. After making every attempt to save his
life, Janie shoots Tea Cake as he approaches her like a mad dog and bites her
arm: It was the meanest moment of eternity. . . . She wanted him to live so
much and he was dead.
The depth of Janies love for Tea Cake, as she prepares for his burial, is
overwhelming. Though Tea Cake loved the Glades, she doesnt want him to
lie too low, with water that might wash over him with every heavy rain, so she
decides to have him interred in a strong vault in the cemetery at
West Palm Beach. The burial details are touching: Janie had wired to
Orlando for money to put him away. Tea Cake was the son of Evening Sun,
and nothing was too good. . . Tea Cake slept royally on his white silken couch
among the roses she had bought. . . Sop and his friends . . . they filled up and
overflowed the ten sedans that Janie had hired and added others to the line.
Then the band played, and Tea Cake rode like a Pharaoh on his tomb. She
goes to the funeral in her overalls; her grief is so great that she is unable to
dress in conventional funeral attire. A few weeks after her husbands burial,
Janie returns to Eatonville.
Thus, the setting returns to that in the opening chapter. Janie gets wiser by
experience and has learned that passion and love are tied to violence, as
Killicks threatens her to kill her and both Joe and Tea Cake beat her to assert
their dominance. Janie continually struggles to keep her inner-self intact and
strong. Janies marriages serve as steppingstones in her individual quest for
self-contentment, and she becomes an independent woman by overcoming
oppression and finding her own voice. The most heart-touching element in
Janies relationship with Tea Cake is not Till death do us part; instead, she
expects him to play new songs with his brand new guitar when she rejoins him
upon her own death. Janies desire to be with Tea Cake after death assures the
reader of the depth of her love and of the attainment of her quest in life and
marks the end of the novel.
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Mandakini Hiremath
The story is a mix of first- and third-person narration within a frame

structure. Hurston uses interruptions and flashbacks and also renders regional
dialects (at times the dialect can be daunting to read). Her imagery is exquisite
(The sun left its foot prints in the sky.). This novel is about search for self.
At the close of the novel, rather than self-destruct as a result of the racism and
misogyny she has experienced throughout her life, Janie Crawford does the
opposite. The final lines show Janie doing what she has done throughout the
novel: taking her difficult past in and growing stronger and wiser as a result
of it. Obviously the subject matter is fascinating and intriguing.
Each time I re-read this book, I find another tidbit to explore, understand,
and interpret differently.
When my students kept repeatedly asking me if I had watched the movie,
Oprah Winfrey presentation, Their Eyes Were Watching God, finally I did
watch it. I was disappointed. The movie does not prove to be as powerful as
the book. The screen play abandons powerful factor of thick southern
vernacular and many of Hurstons Motifs and symbolism, issues of race,
prejudice and class difference, while making many unnecessary metaphorical
inserts. The film falls short of truly portraying Janies character development
while focusing on the love story aspect.
Even if romance was the productions intent, I would have been pleased if
the movie had portrayed Janies preparation for Tea Cakes burial and the
actual event when funeral takes place. She goes to the funeral in her overalls;
her grief is so intense and she is so bent on making sure Tea Cake rode like a
Pharaoh on his tomb that she doesnt care to dress in conventional funeral
attire and is unable to display her grief in a traditional way to the assemblage.
This Janies demeanor evidences Janie as matured powerful woman and how
deeply she loved her husband. Instead, the movie comes to an abrupt end as
Janie returns to Eatonville alone. And thus, for me, the ending is quite
ineffective and disappointing.
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Mandakini Hiremath
A Beautiful Mind
November 2002
A Beautiful Mind, Sylvia Nasars award-winning 1998

biography of John Forbes Nash, Jr., which was subsequently
made into a movie. Handsome, arrogant, and highly eccentric,
John Nash, the young genius from Bluefield, West Virginia, burst
onto the mathematics scene in 1948. He proved himself over the
next decade as, in the words of the eminent geometrician Mikhail
Gromov, the most remarkable mathematician of the second half of the
century. Strategic games, economic rivalry, computer architecture, the shape
of the universe, and the geometry of imaginary spaces, the mystery of prime
numbersall engaged his wide-ranging imagination. His ideas were of the
unanticipated kind that pushed scientific thinking in new directions. His
genius was of a mysterious variety more often associated with music and art
than with the oldest of all sciences. In addition to a fast working mind, he
possessed a retentive memory and great concentration. The high priests of
20th century science, Albert Einstein, John von Neumann, and Norbert
Wiener, surrounded young Nash, but he joined no school, nor did he become
anybodys disciple. He almost always worked alone, in his head, usually
walking, often whistling Bach. Nash acquired his knowledge of mathematics
by rediscovering the truths for himself. Eager to astound, he was always on
the lookout for the really big problems. Even when he was a student, his
indifference to others skepticism, doubt and ridicule was awesome.
Nashs faith in rationality and the power of pure thought was extreme. His
heroes were solitary thinkers and supermen, such as Newton and Nietzche.
Computers and science fiction were his favorites; he called them thinking
machines and considered them in some ways superior to human beings. He
was beguiled by the idea of alien races of hyper-rational beings that had
taught themselves to disregard all emotions. Compulsively rational, he wanted
to turn his lifes decisions whether to take the first elevator or to wait for
the next one, where to bank his money, which job to accept, whether to
marryinto calculations of advantage and disadvantage. Even the small act of
greeting Nash in a hallway could elicit a furious Why are you saying Hello
to me? His remoteness was punctuated by flights of garrulousness about
outer space and geopolitical trends, childish pranks, and unpredictable
eruption of anger. He is not one of us was a constant refrain. By the time he
reached his late twenties, his insights and discoveries had won him
recognition, respect, and autonomy. He had carved out a brilliant career at the
apex of the mathematics profession, traveled, lectured, taught, met the most
famous mathematicians of his day, and become famous himself. His genius
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Mandakini Hiremath
also won him love. He married a beautiful young physics student who adored
him, and he fathered a child. His strategy was brilliant, and his life seemed a
perfect adaptation.
Underneath the brilliant surface of his life, all was chaos and contradiction:
his involvement with other men, a secret mistress, a neglected illegitimate
son; a deep ambivalence toward the wife who adored him, the university that
nurtured him, even his country; and, increasingly, a haunting fear of failure.
The chaos eventually welled up, spilled over, and swept away the tragic
edifice of his carefully constructed life, writes Sylvia Nasar.
The first visible signs of Nashs slide from eccentricity into madness
appeared when he was thirty and was about to be made a full professor at
MIT. The episodes were so cryptic and fleeting that his younger colleagues at
the institution thought that he was indulging a private joke at their expense:
He walked into the common room one morning in 1959 carrying The New
York Times and remarked that the story in the upper-left-hand corner of the
front page contained an encrypted message from inhabitants of another galaxy
that only he could decipher. Months later he resigned his professorship and
was placed in a private psychiatric hospital in suburban Boston. For the next
three decades he suffered from severe delusions, disordered thoughts and
feelings, and a broken will. In the grip of this cancer of the mind, Nash
abandoned mathematics, embraced numerology and religious prophecy, and
believed himself to be a messianic figure of great but secret importance. He
fled to Europe several times, was hospitalized involuntarily half a dozen times
for periods of up to 1 years, was subjected to all sorts of drug and shock
treatments, and experienced brief remissions and episodes of hope that lasted
only a few months; finally he became a sad phantom, oddly dressed,
muttering, writing mysterious messages on blackboards, haunting the campus
of Princeton University, where once he had been a brilliant graduate student.
While Nash remained frozen in a dreamlike state, his name began to
surface everywherein economics textbooks, articles on evolutionary
biology, political science treatises, and mathematics journals. His ideas
became increasingly influential, but the man himself remained shrouded in
obscurity. Most of the young mathematicians who used his ideas simply
assumed, given the dates of his published articles, that he was dead. Members
of his profession who knew otherwise, but were aware of his tragic illness,
sometimes treated him as if he were dead.
On one gray morning in the late 1980s, as Nash was making his daily
rounds at Princeton, Professor Freeman Dyson, one of the giants of 20thcentury theoretical physics, gave his usual greeting to Nash. I see your
daughter is in the news again today, Nash replied to Dyson, who had never
heard Nash speak. Later, Dyson described the encounter: I had no idea he
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Mandakini Hiremath
was aware of her existence. It was beautiful. I remember the astonishment I

felt. What I found most wonderful was this slow awakening. Slowly, he just
somehow woke up. Nobody else has ever awakened the way he did.
More signs of recovery followed. Around 1990, Nash was once again
doing real mathematical research. He was a walking miracle by the early
1990s because of his spontaneous and miraculous recovery from
schizophrenia. In 1994, when he was 66, twin miracles took place: a
spontaneous remission of his illness and the decision of the Nobel Prize
committee to honor his greatest contribution to game theory, one that he had
made as a young man, one revolutionizing economics. This brilliant
contribution was the one that restored the world to him.
The book, A Beautiful Mind, is 365 pages in length. Those who are
daunted by the length may consider watching the videotape of the movie;
however, those who do that will miss a great treat. In the March 8, 2002, issue
of Newsweek, Sylvia Nasar called the movie a fictional version of her book.
Though the movie was shot at Princeton, director Ron Howard and actor
Russell Crowe never sought input from Dr. Nash. Russell Crowe does a
superb job of acting, but the film distorts the truth in two significant ways.
First, Dr. Nash never had hallucinations, which are prominently featured in
the movie; instead, he had delusions of getting messages from outer space.
Second, the movie incorrectly portrays him as controlling his symptoms by
taking medication. In reality, all traces of his schizophrenia disappeared
without any medication. Nash wrote, Gradually [in 1995] I began to
intellectually reject some of the delusionally induced lines of thinking that had
been characteristic of my orientation. . . . [In 1996] I emerged from irrational
thinking, ultimately, without medicine other than the natural, hormonal
process of aging. Dr. Nash still walks to the campus each day to teach at
Princeton. Thus, the story of John Forbes Nash, Jr., is a story about the
mystery of a human mind in three acts: genius, madness, and reawakening.
Will St. John, a writer for the Detroit Free Press, calls it a powerful story
brilliantly told.
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Mandakini Hiremath
The Concubine
March 2003
The Concubine, Elechi Amadi wrote and published his first

novel in 1966. The story starts out as depiction of village life set
in the area Port Hartcout, eastern Nigeria, where the novelist had
his early upbringing. However, it turns out to be a supernatural
tale derived from ancient customs and beliefs, a story about river
gods and village rivalries.
The novel presents an accurate picture of village life. The Omokachi
villagers come alive in the immense varieties of their individual and group
activities, which are keenly informed by a shared sense of religion, ethics, and
social etiquettes and culture. Amadis novel tends to project an image of an
idyllic and stable world. However, this world does not remain stable for long.
It is sometimes undermined by fate and the supernatural forces that determine
destines of men and women in the traditional society (i.e. Ihuoma) and in
some cases by people themselves who through stupidity or excessive passion
knock down the walls of stability of their world (i.e. Madume and Ekwueme).
In Amadis world the word idyllic reflects tragic.
This highly acclaimed novel of classic simplicity tells the story of Ihuoma,
a beautiful young woman of twenty-two, with disarming smile and inimitable
charm, an epitome of feminine property, and the pride and joy of the village of
Omokachi. Unknown of her, she has been betrothed to the Sea King, a
malevolent spirit who is content to allow her become a concubine but not the
wife of any mortal man. Any man who falls in love with her and seriously
contemplates marrying her is soon struck down and exterminated by evervigilant Sea King. Such is the fate of Emenike, (Ihuomas husband of six
years with whom she had three children who looked more like her brothers
and sisters) the noble villager, Madume, covetous (big-eyed, the only nasty
character in the village) land-grabber; and Ekwueme, the lovesick young man.
In the middle of all the upheaval is the tragic heroine, Ihuoma, totally
oblivious to the immense potential for destruction though at times she features
like a pathetic figure overshadowed by unlucky circumstances.
Ihuomas character in The Concubine is drawn on religion and popular
myth. She is not conceived as an ordinary human but as a water-maid turned
human, wife of dreaded Sea King. This is not made clear until the very end of
the story so that is does not stand in the way of a conventional realistic
appreciation of the novel. But it would be natural for one to have a suspicion
from the beginning that the heroine is too good to be altogether true. A series
of strange events leads to the truth of her background. The first, husband,
Emenike, dies after a fight with a neighbor, Madume. Then that same
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Mandakini Hiremath
neighbor thinks of marrying her; he quarrels with Ihuoma and is blinded by a

spiting cobra and later hangs himself. The village is understandably disturbed
by such grave losses, and even Ihuoma herself muses It was bad for
Omakachi to lose two young men in two years. At that rate there would be too
few left to organize village activities. A culminating point involves, a third
young man, Ekwueme, the most eligible in the neighborhood, who falls under
her charm even though he is already engaged since his childhood to a young
attractive woman, Ahurole. The Dibia Anyika is called to perform sacrifices
to bind Sea Kings anger. While hunting for lizard for this sacrifice,
Ihuomas older son, Nwonna, pierces the would-be bridegroom with an arrow.
The Sea King claims his third victim on the eve of Ihuomas second marriage.
It is natural if the reader questions an appropriateness of the title, The
Concubine when its known that Ihuomas first husband had been married to
her for six years before he met his death, i.e. before the Sea King began to
exert his revenge. It is hard for the reader to reconcile the long forbearance of
the Sea King with the underline scheme of the novel. Is Ihuoma a concubine
or just an unlucky wife whose life is a spoilt for her by a capricious chance?
There is a possible way to answer this question, and it lies in the recognition
of the different phrases in the character of the heroine. Given the two aspects,
the spirit and the human, of Ihuomas nature it is necessary to establish
when the one aspect is dominant and the other underplays and what effect the
changes have on the general action. In the early Ihuoma, the spirit aspect is
dominant. She is solid block of perfection, almost inhuman. Amadi describes
this stage of her life vividly:
That she was beautiful she had no doubt, but did not make her
arrogant. She was sympathetic, gentle, and reserved. It was her
husbands boast that in their six years of marriage she never had any
serious quarrel with another woman. Gradually she acquired the
capacity to bear a neighbors stinging remarks without a repartee. In
this way her prestige among the womenfolk grew until even the most
garrulous among them was reluctant to be unpleasant to her. She found
herself settling quarrels and offering advice to older women.
This is hardly human. She is a spirit feeling its way towards a human
identity. As long as her spirit essence is dominant and the human element has
not entered into her in a way to disrupt her spirit nature, the Sea King
recognizes the situation as concubinage between a spirit queen and a human
lover. But the situation alters radically after Emenikes injury sustained in a
fight with Madume. The event shakes Ihuoma out of her spirit composure. She
begins to develop positive human feelings. When Emenike is suffering, she is
unhappy and concerned; when he recovers, she is joyous and excited. We next
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Mandakini Hiremath
see her admiring herself in the mirror and doing impromptu dances with her
first two children and being admired by her husband. The scene is full of
tenderness as husband embraces his wife and honors her dancing with a gift.
A new Ihuoma, full of warmth and affection, is emerging. The process of her
humanization has begun. And this is what the Sea king will not bear: a state
of technical concubinage is becoming a real marriage. Even though Emenike
recovers, he wilts suddenly and dies of lock chest. Ihuomas humanization
goes on in rest of the story and at times she feels the burden and
oppressiveness of the spiritual essence, for living it down brings its own
problems and retards the peace of her assumption of total humanity. Her best
friend, Nnenda, recapitulates her human predicament as a result of the
intruding spirit essence at the time of Ekwuemes stormy courtship of her:
As her prestige mounted, its maintenance became more trying. She
became more sensitive to criticism and would go to any length to
avoid it. The women adored her. Men were awestruck before her. She
was becoming something of a phenomenon. But she alone knew her
internal struggles. She knew she was not better than anyone else. She
thought her virtues were the products of chance. As the days went by,
she began to loath her so-called good manners. She became less
delighted when people praised her. It was as if they were confining her
to an even narrowing prison.
Towards the end of the novel, she shakes off even the residual constraint
and affirms her full humanity by publically acknowledging her love for
Ekwueme. The change that comes over her is worth noting in detail:
She carried herself proudly and gracefully and her new radiant form
of beauty suffused her face. With Ekwueme near her she experienced
an inner peace and security that had eluded her for a long time. She
encouraged him to stroll with her on occasions through the village and
did much to dispel the feeling of shame and humiliation over past
events. He was amazed at her boldness. Here was an Ihuoma he had
never known, a new Ihuoma confident without being brazen, selfrespecting, yet approachable, sweet but sensible.
The effect is the Sea King is maddened; as a result, he cuts down Ekwueme
before the marriage can be celebrated.
Superficially, the story would seem to belong to the genre of pure folklore,
with the heroine in the typical role of the fatal female who brings disaster to
her lovers. But the strength of The Concubine rests on the fact that it is not a
folklore but realistic-style fiction. Amadis success in this novel can be
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Mandakini Hiremath
attributed to two main accomplishments: First, he has drawn a convincing

picture of a traditional society in which he situates the action:
Omakachi village was noted for its tradition, propriety, and
decorum. Excessive of fanatical feelings over anything were frowned
upon or even described as crazy. Anyone who could not control his
feelings was regarded as being unduly influenced by his agwu. Anyika
often confirmed this, as in Ahuroles case.
Even love and sex were put in their proper place. If a woman could
not marry one man, she could always marry another. A woman
deliberately scheming to land a man was unheard of. True, she might
encourage him, but this encouragement was a subtle reflex action, a
legacy of her prehistoric action ancestors. A mature mans love was
sincere, deep, and stable, and therefore, easy to reciprocate, difficult to
turn down. That was why it was possible for a girl to marry a man
without formal courtship. Love was love and never failed.
Second, the characters themselves are clearly drawn, and their actions are
given dramatic effect through Amadis superbly controlled dialogue. The
skillful portrayal of characters and their society and his handling of the
supernatural combine to produce convincing illusion of reality to make The
Concubine a significant novel.
Having perfected the style of narration and dialogue that captures the
rhythm, Amadis is the style of great flexibility and lends itself admirably to
the dramatization of action, the expression of emotion, and the exposition of
ideas. Many commentators of this novel have noted his achievement of his art,
his simple but profound narrative style akin to the style of classical storyteller.
Alstair Niven, in 1981, described the style: The Concubine as a novel of
classic simplicity.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Who moved my cheese?

September 2003
This is a very special year for Claflin because we are

celebrating her 135th anniversary and the tenth year of the
presidency of Dr. Henry N. Tisdale. Therefore, to honor
President Tisdales leadership and his concern for the Claflin
familys wellbeing, I am writing about one of his favorite books,
Who Moved My Cheese? He read this book in London in 2001 while he was
waiting for his flight at the airport. A leal and loyal son of Claflin, he has
stated that, after graduating from his alma mater in May 1965, he boarded a
bus as he embarked on his journey for graduate studies and never intended to
return to South Carolina again. But Dr. Tisdale humbly admits that life takes
its own course and carries the individual along to his destiny. His enthusiastic
references to this book have inspired many of us to read it as well. Who
Moved My Cheese? An A-Mazing Way To Deal with Change in Your Work
and in Your Life, written by Spencer Johnson, is a good little book, about 90
pages in length, and can easily be finished in one sitting. It is available in
libraries and bookstores.
Each new academic year is a transitional period. Any change, welcome or
unwelcome, anticipated or unanticipated, is not easy to deal with until one
gets emotionally and physically settled and is comfortable with the situation.
Who Moved My Cheese? revolves around two mice, Sniff and Scurry, and two
little people, Hem and Haw, who are trapped in a maze and provides a simple
but powerful message for the reader confronted by unwelcome change and
psychological roadblocks.
This book contains a story within a story. It begins with a gathering of
former classmates who have lunch and chat about how much their lives have
changed since high school. They agree that things have certainly turned out
differently than they thought and notice that they often dont want to change
when things change.
Carlos says, I guess we resist changing because were afraid of change.
Carlos, you were captain of the football team, Jessica interrupts. I never
thought Id hear you say anything about being afraid! They laugh.
Yes, this is how I talk with my friends, Carlos responds. Then Michael
relates the story of Who Moved My Cheese? to the group.
One day two mice, Sniff and Scurry, and two little people, Hem and Haw,
find a huge mound of cheese in Cheese Station C. They like it and return day
after day to eat the cheese. Hem and Haw get comfortably settled and think
that they will never have to look for new cheese ever again. However, in their
comfort they fail to notice that the cheese is getting old and smelly, and its
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Mandakini Hiremath
amount has been dwindling. One day the cheese disappears. Without
analyzing the situation, the mice, Sniff and Scurry, explore their surroundings
and then go off in quest of new cheese. However, Hem and Haw feel at home
at Cheese Station C. They complain about the removal of the cheese and insist
that it was theirs and that it must be restored. They are outraged, shocked,
scared, and baffled by its disappearance. They remain in Cheese Station C
wondering where the cheese has gone and hoping for its return.
One day, Haw realizes that he is getting weaker as he waits for the return
of the cheese. The waiting is not working. Feeling old, tired, and scared of the
unknown, he goes in search of new cheese. Fortunately, he finds it. During
his cheese-seeking quest, he keeps writing lifes lessons on the wall of the
maze:
Change happens. They keep moving the Cheese.
Anticipate change. Get ready for the cheese to move.
Enjoy Change. Savor the adventure and enjoy the taste of the new
Cheese.
Old Beliefs Do Not Lead To New Cheese.
The Quicker You Let Go of the Old Cheese, the Sooner You Find the
New Cheese.
After finding the new cheese, Haw reunites with his pals, Sniff and Scurry,
and vows to change his ways by being ready for change the next time. By
contrast, Hem is hemmed in by his conservative ideas. We dont know
whether he ever leaves Cheese Station C.
Cheese is a metaphor for whatever one desires in life. For the mice, it is
cheese, but for the little people, it could be success, happiness, or financial
security.
The four characters, Sniff, who sniffs out change early, and Scurry, who
scurries into action, and the little people, Hem, who denies and resists change
because he fears it will lead to something worse, and Haw, who learns to
adapt in time when he sees changing leads to something better, represent the
simple and complex parts of ourselves. We all share the need to find our way
through the maze in order to succeed in changing times. The lesson to be
learned from this fable is this: Think more like the mice. They always explore
their surroundings and are looking for change. Realize that change is a law of
nature. Chances are that the cheese might be moved several times in your life.
Dont be afraid to accept challenges; instead, go looking for the new cheese.
I end this review with a quotation from A. J. Cronin: Life is no straight
and easy corridor along which we travel free and unhampered, but a maze of
passages through which we must seek our way, lost and confused, now and
again checked in a blind alley. But always, if we have faith, a door will open
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Mandakini Hiremath
for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would ever have thought of, but one
that will ultimately prove good for us.
Just the other day, someone said to me, Life is not a bed of roses, you
know! I wonder if that person thought of roses free of thorns.
Finally, let us wish each other great success during this academic year.
Just remember: Move with the Cheese!
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Mandakini Hiremath
Crick Crack, Monkey

November 2004
Crick Crack, Monkey has been called the first major novel
published (in 1970) by a black Caribbean woman, Merle Hodge.
This novel ruminates the conflicts of life and changes a young
girl, Tee, faces as she switches from rural Trinidadian existence
with her Aunt Tantie to an urban Anglicized with her Aunt
Beatrice.
Crick Crack, Monkey starts with the funeral of the protagonists mother. It
is a story of Tee, the narrator, growing up in Trinidad. Tees mother dies in
labor. And her father immediately emigrates, leaving Tee and Troddan, her
brother, with his sister Tantie, a single, urban lower-class aunt. Here Tee
learns urban skills, such as independence and sticking up for herself. As a
protagonist-narrator Tee tells us,
Tanties company was loud and hilarious. And if there was no
company in the house, Tee mingles with other children, or spends time
at her grandmothers house, where the whole multitude of children
lives. Her life in this environ appears happy and content. And the
dramas of everyday life, even the death of her mother and emigration
of her father to England are absorbed in sociability. As Yakini Kemp
notes, She (Tee) is moving progressively toward the development of
a positive self-image while she resides with Tantie.
Tee wins scholarship as she completes middle school. Tees winning
scholarship is celebrated with pride and joy with the family and friends; even
lighter-skinned maternal Aunt Beatrice is invited for the event. At this
moment in the interest of high-schooling, Tantie decides to let Tee stay with
her Aunt Beatrice, who has been trying to kidnap the child repeatedly,
insisting that only her house provides the proper environment for her
deceased sisters child. (The fight for guardianship, which generates
opposition between the world of Tantie and Aunt Beatrice, results in hatred
between them, so Tantie always refers Aunt Beatrice as the bitch. However,
much later in the novel readers discover the source of the conflict between
Tantie and Beatrice. Beatrice tells Tee that her mother Elizabeth was fairskinned beautiful little girl who might have taken her to England by the
people up on the Grange; instead, she was adopted by low-class
godparents who lived in the bush. Marrying the narrators father was a
misdemeanor; if it werent for that father, the narrator too might have had
fair skin.) Thus, the novel consistently reveals the quality of life in those two
cultural and social classes.
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Mandakini Hiremath
As a result of the sudden switch, Tee is made to feel utterly inadequate

when it comes to speech, color, features, and dress. And this is a legacy from
which Tee cannot escape. Though Tantie warns not to be affected by such a
colonialist indoctrination: jus you remember you going there to learn
book do let them put no blasted shit in yu head, this advice doesnt seem to
help. Though Tee is repelled by her aunts perpetual smile, the exaggerated
importance she gives to knife and fork in eating, her discriminatory attitude to
coolies and niggers, her emphasis on form and status, and the denial of her
past and her assimilation into the middleclass in her shifting moods, Tee
eventually begins to adopt this style of life not without intense feeling of
shame, guilt and remorse. As she becomes fully integrated into the world of
Aunt Beatrice, her words and actions reflect the very values and attitude,
which at first horrified her. The prospect of a visit from Tantie distresses her,
and memories of home bring her shame and embarrassment. The
acquaintances from her childhood are now raucous niggery people,
coolies. Tee resents Tantie bitterly for not Auntie Beatrice get us in the first
place and bring us up properly: If I had never lived there, if Auntie Beatrice
had whisked us away from the very beginning and brought us here, then I
would have been nice.
After Tee enters the world of middleclass, she forgets the kind of happiness
she had experienced in her earlier days. In fact, personal dilemmas become
intense: Everything was changing, unrecognizably pushing me out. This was
as it should be, since I had moved up and no longer had any place here. But it
was painful, and I longed all the more to be on my way. Tee traces the
inevitability of her position, but her choice of commitment to middleclass
respectability can only lead to the erosion of her self-worth and personal
dignity. She will continue to experience inner dissonance because of the
happy past, which she has known intimately, will continue to intrude.
Tees family comes to visit her at Aunt Beatrices after she has been there
for quite a while. Their visit produces in Tee feeling of shame and distress.
She does not have really anything to say to them. When they exhaust the
possibilities for conversation, they hustle out, kissing Tee on the forehead. She
has one fleeting urge to call them back.
This doesnt mean that Tee has become comfortable in her Aunt Beatrices
middleclass home either. She continually despises the way her Aunt Beatrice
treats her as a child, and limits her independence by clinging to her as another
chance at raising a child. This dislike shows her non-belonging to anywhere.
She also goes occasionally to visit her grandmother Ma in Pointe dEspoir, at
the ocean. Ma is representative of her African roots, but Tee doesnt seem to
understand this situation either. She doesnt feel she fits in with any of the
places offered her.
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Tantie decides to send Tee abroad to study after she visits her that one and
last time. At this point, Tantie finally gains the admiration of her cousins and
her entire middleclass household, evidencing their superficiality and surface
value aspirations. Tee returns to bid farewell to Tantie before immigrating to
England to join her father. She is openly repelled by Tanties naturalness, and
hates to be associated with it:
The night before we left the macommes and compes filled the
house, come to drink a little one on us. But macommes and compes are
never known to stop at a little one, and the usual gaiety ensued, in
which we the pretext were quite forgotten. Which was just as well, for
I sat in a corner shrinking from the ordinariness of it all, until Mr.
Joseph pounced on me.
Thus the novel, Crick Crack, Monkey deals with the conflicts between the
two worlds of childhood and the struggle for identity. As a very young child at
home with her Tantie Rosa, Tee experiences a sense of belonging, an
unproblematic, unselfconscious selfhood. With Aunty Beatrice, with whom
she lives attending secondary school, as Cynthia is at first dislocated and
alienated; yet, in time she comes to be ashamed of her earlier identification
with Tanties world. Cynthia/Tee also experiences the worlds that give other
identities the idyllic sensuous landscape associated with her paternal
grandmother, Ma. And the idyllic entirely mental landscape she encounters
in books. Thus, writing from an unspecified vantage point as an adult Crick
Crack, Monkeys first person narrator variously called Tee, Cyn-Cyn,
Cynthia, Ma Davis, and Cyntie dryly recounts her experience as a
child in colonial Trinidad, from the day of her mothers death until the eve of
her departure for the Mother Country, England. The narrator finds no
authentic self no proper name of her own. Search for identity and urge for
belonging has been the constant struggle that the protagonist, Tee, suffers
from throughout the novel.
The novel does not suggest a resolution of Tees dilemma, the problem of
cultural identification and her sense of belonging. Tee recounts the various
dilemmas in her life in such a way that it is often difficult to separate the voice
of the child, experiencing, from the voice of the woman, reminiscing. Child
vision and adult vision are made to coalesce at several points in the novel. At
the end of the book, Tee is too mentally distraught, too physically torn, and
too young to make any decisions regarding her social relevance. Since Tee
coalesces two worlds those of Tantie and of Aunt Beatrice her conflict will
be indefinite. The fact is Tee and Aunt Beatrice (whose ideas of culture,
education, and socialization are rigidly Anglo centric) might act as it they
were British, though they never would be British.
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Mandakini Hiremath
The ambiguous ending of the book, withdrawal from the situation Tees
emigration to England is not morally affirmative position. But the novel
comes to an end when Tee is still a child. This implies that there is still a
considerable time for her to come to such a decision to build self-image. The
main cause of her distraught condition is she is trying to choose and adopt
faithfully one system while she already is intertwined in at least two Tantie,
Aunt Beatrice, and at times Mas (Tees grandmother).
With Tee as a child narrator, Hodge guides the reader through an intensely
personal study of the effects of the colonial impositions of various social and
cultural values on the Trinidad female. With Crick Crack, Monkey, the
novelist provides worthy addition to the growing genre of postcolonial fiction.
In its rein self-hatred and fits of frustration thunders from Mr. Hind, Tees
middle school teacher,
Here I stand trying to teach you to read and write the English
language. I dont have to stand here and busy myself with little
black nincompoops. The passage is rich in implications, for it
addresses the issue of language. The duality of language use in the
novel reflects, the general idea of independence of language and
identity you are the way you speak.
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Our Iceberg Is Melting

August 16, 2008
I went to the Orangeburg County Library looking for the book,

Our Iceberg Is Melting: Changing and Succeeding Under Any
Conditions written by John Kotter and Holger Rathgeber.
Especially, when the librarian made a special effort to secure the
book for me and after I saw this good little (which can easily be
finished in one sitting) attractive book in bold font, illustrated with
images of emperor penguins, pretty and perpetually dressed in tuxedoes, I
couldnt stop myself from reading it.
Our Iceberg Is Melting is an enchanting fable of action that is informed,
committed and inspired to help us learn how to do well in an ever-changing
world.
One of the 268 occupants who live in Antarctica, Fred detects worrying
signs about their home: The iceberg that has been always their residence is
melting and might break apart soon! He observes water trapped inside the
iceberg cracks, canals and caves. Since freezing liquid dramatically expands
in volume, he thinks of the iceberg breaking into pieces as the trapped water
freezes during a cold winter.
Unnerved, Fred reveals his worries by presenting a model to the
Leadership Council and establishes the sense of urgency with an experiment
using a glass bottle filled with water, sealing the hole on the top with fish bone
and placing it in the cold wind to see if the bottle is broken by the force of the
expanding water as it freezes. The next day, they find the bottle broken.
The Leadership Council calls for the general assembly. Louis, the head
penguin, knowing that he cant do the job alone, selects a team of five to
guide the needed change. The team members are asked to search rapidly for
solutions by talking to others in the colony. After listening to colony
members suggestions, to no avail, the desperate team members walk around.
They see a flying seagull. Meeting and talking with the seagull, they learn that
he was a scout and was flying ahead of the clan looking for where they might
live next. After learning about his clans nomadic existence, the team
members think a great deal and discuss its implications and are convinced that
they have succeeded in creating a sensible vision of a better new future: This
iceberg is not who we are. It is only where we now live. We will find other
safer places to live. When necessary, we will move again. We will never have
to put our families at risk from the sort of terrible danger we face today. WE
WILL PREVAIL! The leaders communicate the new vision with others to
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Mandakini Hiremath
make them understand and accept it. They remove as many obstacles as
practical, in order to put the vision into action.
Finally, the team sends out a selected group of strong, bright and highly
enthusiastic scouts to explore the territory to find good places for the colony
to move next. Though exhausted and one hurt seriously, the group, creating a
short-term win, returns with exciting stories to tell. The second batch of
scouts goes out and succeeds in finding a suitable iceberg. Then on May 12,
just before the start of the Antarctic winter, the birds begin their move to their
new home.
The move is not bereft of chaos and panic, and everything associated with
the new home is not perfect, so they move again. The critical step is not
becoming complacent again and not letting up.
Today, the colony moves around like nomads. As time goes on, the colony
thrives, grows and becomes more skilled at handling new dangers, in part
from what it had learned from the melting adventure. The story typifies that
change is hard, and these changes will not be overcome by adhering to
stubborn, hard-to-die traditions. Eventually, many colony members, including
youngsters, become less fearful of change and work well together to keep
leaping into a better future.
The story comes to an end with a note about change in the Leadership
Council (rewarding the active participants and keeping the troublemakers at
bay) and how the retired Head Penguin Louis, a grandfather figure to the
colony, proudly narrates the story of The Great Change to younger birds at
their repeated request.
John Kotters earlier book Leading Change outlined an actionable 8 steps
process for implementing successful transformation. The authors Kotter and
Rathgeber show in this book the 8 steps: 1) create a sense of urgency, 2) pull
together the guiding team, 3) develop the change vision and strategy, 4)
communicate for understanding and buy-in, 5) empower others to act, 6)
produce short-term wins, 7) dont let up. Press harder and faster after the first
success; 8) create a new culture. The steps are needed change in a colony of
penguins, as the colony copes with potential catastrophe.
The story is short; sentences are simple; and every minute detail is well
imagined, artistically linked and illustrated. The striking idea that everyone in
a group must play a role in navigating change makes the story more
interesting, as the authors inevitably develop the story around the characters
the naysayers, nitpickers, the innovators and agitators, the leaders and the
followers who are like people we recognize, though cleverly tactful
penguins handle the very real challenges a great deal better than most of us.
At times the matters in the story are handled too tactfully for a reader to
remember that the characters are penguins; for instance, one may easily forget
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how hard it would be to act on the suggested solution of drill-a-hole to drain

the trapped water to prevent the iceberg from collapsing, until he or she reads:
This drill-a-hole idea was briefly discussed before the professor pointed out
that with all 268 birds pecking away 24 hours a day, they would break through
the cave in 5.2 years.
Change is the law of nature. Some may love it. Maybe some never will.
However, everyone must learn to accept it, since we all are bound to live in an
ever-changing world. Any change, welcome or unwelcome, anticipated or
unanticipated, is not easy to deal with until one gets emotionally and
physically settled and is comfortable with the situation. This fable presents the
notion that culture changes with as much difficulty in penguin colonies as in
human colonies. Tradition dies a hard death.
Thus, this story of The Great Change encourages the reader to think about
his iceberg, if its melting, and how he is going to meet the challenge.
Its hard to end the column without mentioning that this book reminds me of
another fable Who Moved My Cheese? An A-mazing Way to Deal with
Change in Your Work and in Your Life, written by Spencer Johnson, another
enchanting book that teaches us how to manage the necessary change that
surrounds us all.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Outliers: The Story of Success

Fall 2012
Outliers: The Story of Success, written by Malcolm Gladwell

begins with a provocative look at why certain five-year-old boys
enjoy an advantage in ice hockey and how these advantages
accumulate over time. He explains its simply that in Canada the
eligibility cut off for age-class hockey is January 1. A boy who
turns ten on Jan. 2 could be playing alongside someone who
doesnt turn 10 until the end of the year and at that age, in preadolescence, a
twelve month gap represents an enormous difference in physical maturity.
Naturally, while selecting players for the traveling rep squad the all-star
teams at the ages of 9 or 10, the coaches in Canada are more likely to view
as talented the bigger and more coordinated players who have had the benefit
of critical extra months of maturity. And when a player gets chosen for a rep
squad, he gets better coaching, his teammates are better, he plays 50 or 75
games a season, instead of 20 games a season like those left behind in the
house league, and he practices up to thrice as much as he would otherwise.
In the beginning, the advantage isnt so much that he is inherently better but
only that he is a little older. But by the age of thirteen or fourteen, with the
benefit of better coaching and all that extra practice under his belt, he really is
better, so hes the one more likely to make it to the Major Junior A league,
and from there into the big leagues.
The author argues that we are confusing maturity with ability. He states,
Because we so profoundly personalize success, we miss opportunities to lift
others onto the top rung. We make rules that frustrate achievement. We
prematurely write off people as failures. We are too much in awe of those who
succeed and far too dismissive of those who fail. And, most of all, we become
much too passive. We overlook just how large a role we all play in
determining who makes it and who doesnt. And the solution he offers is to
set up two or three hockey leagues, divided up by month of birth, to let the
players develop on separate tracks and then pick all-star teams.
Mr. Galdwell suggests that schools could do the same thing. Elementary
and middle school could put the January through April-born students in one
class, May through August- born in another class, and September through
December-born in the third class. They could let students learn with and
compete against other students of the same maturity level. He admits that it
would be a little more complicated administratively, but it wouldnt
necessarily cost much more money, and it would level the playing field for
those who through no fault of their own have been dealt a big
disadvantage by the educational system.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Thus, we could easily take control of the machinery of achievement, not

just in sports, but in other more consequent areas as well. But we dont. And
why? asks Gladwell and sulkily states, Because we cling to the idea that
success is a simple function of individual merit and that the world in which we
all grow up and the rules we choose to write as a society dont matter at all.
Asking what sets titans like Bill Gates, the Beatles or Mozart apart, why
some people succeed living remarkably productive and impressive lives, while
so many more never reach their potential, Gladwell challenges our notion that
the best and the brightest effortlessly rise to the top and the cherished belief of
the self-made man. The author is out to prove that no one ever makes it
alone. Outliers, super achievers who have been given opportunities and have
the strength and presence of mind to seize them, are invariably the
beneficiaries of hidden advantages, extraordinary opportunities and cultural
legacies that allow them to learn and work hard, and make sense of the world
in ways others cannot.
In his quest the author examines and presents case studies of lives of
outliers, ranging from Canadian junior hockey champions to the robber barons
of the Gilded Age, from Asian math whizzes to software entrepreneurs to the
rise of his own family in Jamaica. Stating how successful people rise on a tide
of advantages, some deserved, some not, some earned, some just plain
lucky, Gladwell tears down the myth of individual merit and seeks to prove
that, along with talent and ambition, each enjoyed an unusual opportunity that
helped them to cultivate a skill that allowed them to rise above their peers.
Presenting secret patterns behind every day phenomena, he explores how
culture, circumstance, timing, birth and luck account for successand how
historical legacies can hold others back despite ample individual gifts.
Instead of just focusing on the individual in order to understand the outlier,
the author suggests, we should look around them at their culture,
community, family, and generation, skin color, and focus on the cultural and
contextual determinants of success. Successful people begin with two
beliefsthat the future can be better than the present, and I have the power
to make it so. Nurture here is driving nature, not the other way around.
The details are fascinating. The book is dedicated to Daisy, the authors
grandmother to whom he credits his mothers success. Because of her
ambition and courageous actions, his mother could get out of the little rural
village in Jamaica where she grew up, get a university education in England
and ultimately meet and marry his father and become a writer. Stating, Daisy
Fords ambition for her daughters did not come from nowhere, in other words,
she was the inheritor of a legacy of privilege, Gladwell writes in his
concluding chapter A Jamaican Story about his ancestry in an attempt to
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Mandakini Hiremath
understand how Daisy was able to make that happenusing all the lessons
learned over the course of the book.
Stating, Im happy to say that Outliers confirms its own thesis, Gladwell
acknowledges, It was very much a collective effort. His conclusions are
built almost exclusively on the findings of otherssociologists, psychologists,
economists, historians. Rather than delving into the methodology behind those
studies, throughout all of these examples, he comes to his own conclusions
and invites conversations about the complex ways privilege manifests in our
culture.
The question we should ask is, Shall we all try to create privilege in the
lives of those we can influence through our professional or personal roles?
SECTION IV
Short Stories
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Confused
February, 2013
Radhika loves the hot summer days and thick, cloudy late afternoon skies
filled with thunderclaps and showers that usher in fresh life everywhere. This
afternoon she has filled the bird feeder hanging in her backyard, and is ready
to settle there until the end of the day. For the last two decades from late May
to early August, this backyard has been her refuge. Spending quiet time there
has been her favorite hobby to relax, to reminisce, and, at times, to fret. She
walks around, alone but not lonely. Here she comes to herself and feels
intimately related to something grander than man. In the stillness and solitude
of nature, where the problems of existence are simplified, she wishes to know
something that would better her.
She plays with the OM pendant that is hanging on the chain around her neck
as vehemently as her mind is thinking and running. She has been using only
this necklace constantly, during all these years, because it is hard for her to
forget when her husband had enviously picked on her about the jeweled
chains around her neck. Why do they get to stay so close to your heart and
roll on your breast!
Hearing him, her mother-in-law had asked her, How do you stand to live
with this crazy man?
With a smile Radhika had responded, He is not my son.
Besides, OM stands for Shiva and denotes the universe. Thus, it has been the
object of meditation for her. This transcendental sound configures the past,
present, and future, meaning birth, life, and death. It means oneness with the
Almighty Supreme. She keeps this divine object as close as possible to her
heart wherein the Lord Shiva resides constantly.
One early winter morning Murali Mohan, her husband, said, Goodbye to her
and left with their two children. After dropping the children at their school, he
was going to drive to Columbia University to continue the research pertaining
to his work on a second doctorate.
While they were leaving, Radhika playfully said to her husband, I might
walk to the childrens school in the afternoon to walk them home.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Though it was hardly possible to walk over two and a half miles, facing the
traffic and then walk the children home, her husband took it seriously and
abruptly said, Dont go anywhere. There are clouds in the sky. Just call our
department Chair to have her bring the children home.
These were his last words to her. That afternoon on the way back to home, he
was involved in a head-on collision. He was airlifted to the local and then to
the Metropolitan Memorial Hospital. After staying five days in a coma,
without saying goodbye, he breathed his last. Radhika was too devastated to
understand what was going on. Looking at the children, she thought if she
had not had this responsibility, she would have been free to walk with him
hand in hand to heaven to live in eternity.
She recalled when they were newlywed her husband frequently asserted, We
dont want to have children; having children would bind us in a whole lot of
responsibilities. We, just two of us, will live as long as we desire, and the day
we want to stop living, we will take a ferry and row it into Mother Ganges
womb so far and deep that no one would find us, thus, none will be subjected
to the sadness.
After they had children, the nature of his assertion changed. He told her
repeatedly that he wished her life would end just a few minutes before his, for
he didnt want his beloved wife to be sad, helpless, and dependent.
When Radhika had mentioned this to only a few close relatives and friends, in
reaction, they had raised their eyebrows and exclaimed, How cruel of him!
But Radhika took it as a sign of her husbands sensitivity and intense love for
her.
Born and raised as a precious commodity by her parents, along with a brother
and three sisters, and then given away in marriage to another traditional
family where she walked in the shadow of her husband and his family,
Radhika was treated as a delicate doll: If it goes out in the sun, it might melt;
soaked in rain, it might dissolve; handled roughly, it might break. Her
husbands concern was stretched so far that at times he had ranted if she read,
she might spoil her eyesight and lose the sparkle of her beautiful eyes. If she
learns more, she might lose her innocence. Considering herself loved, at
times, adored for her innocence, Radhika felt very fortunate, safe and secure.
She thought, why go through all the hassle, if one could stay at home and be
the empress of her territory.
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But now, the time of rude awakening had come. Her once worshipped
innocence was proved to be ignorance in the practical world and was laughing
at her with vengeance. Along with her emperor her empire had crumbled
abruptly. Nothing was left there but three little people and the harsh reality.
Now, she must learn to walk all by herself, regardless of sun, clouds, or rains.
Fortunately, she was able to find work that provided basics for her family.
Determined to brace herself under a security blanket, she bought a wedding
band (Her traditional wedding wasnt like with this ring I thee wed. It
had wedding necklace, toe rings, rings, not particularly a wedding band.) and
started wearing it. If anyone addressed her, even inadvertently, Ms., she
would snap at that person saying, Mrs., please! She realized that these three
little people had to overcome mountains of difficulties just to survive. If they
were to succeed in living their lives, it had to be by the Creators grace and a
miracle, only!
She kept her originality in wear, look, traditions, principles, and behaved
according to her cultural upraising. The first conversation she had with her
children was about the importance of dignity and honesty. She told them that
their character, perseverance, and will power would be the only resources for
reaching their ambition and firmly warned them that under no circumstance
would these values be placed on the bargaining table. Respect is more
precious than life. Life without respect is worse than death. Therefore, they
must learn to respect others and be respected in return. They will have to
study very hard and have faith in the God Almightys grace so that someday
they will be able reach their desired destination. It is their life; they could
make it or mar it, the decision would be theirs.
Today, after two decades of ordeal, Radhika is content and complacent. She
feels experienced, very fortunate for spending much of her adult life in a
variety of foreign cultures that have enriched her and taught her lifes valuable
lessons in a unique way that no number of books might. For all those reasons,
she appreciates more than before her own rich, deep rooted, and familyorientated culture and traditions. She considers herself blessed for the
opportunity of raising her children in a combination of various cultural values.
She perceives it as the cause of her childrens beautiful personalities; they
could choose the best values from each culture that they encountered.
At times, her friends wondered, how, though young and attractive, Radhika
could manage to live chaste. Her excuse was that she was busy dealing with
problems too often to think about her desires. She was unable to provide
financially or emotionally for her children as would two-parent family; the
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least she could do for them was to make herself available constantly when
they needed her. Relying on her deep faith only, she made it through all the
ordeals.
She confirms, Almightys grace has saved me. My chastity is my strength,
the resource of my moral courage and power. Confucius said, Virtue (the
man of virtue) is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have
neighbors. Thus, Ive never been lonely; I feel quite fortunate.
Radhika is a born worshiper of Shiva. According to the Shaiva philosophy,
Shiva has endowed each individual with three inherent faculties: will,
cognition, and action. These faculties, when in perfect harmony, lead the
individual to a state of eternal bliss. Being left alone in foreign country with
two children, ages 9 and 11, with no means to survive, not knowing if
tomorrow the sun is going to rise, she surrendered to her Heavenly Father,
Shiva. She urged Him day in and day out to take care of them. Radhika
considered herself a woman on pilgrimage and her virtue as a provision-sack
on her journey. Shiva the Conqueror of Lust and Desire, known as the erotic
ascetic, kept her chaste for all these years, and has taken such good care of her
and her children that at times her well-to-do acquaintances have become
envious of these three little people.
Friends have said, You have done very well, you know! You have
accomplished so much in such a short time. Your children stand with their
accomplishments as tall if not taller than the children of many well-to-do two
parent families. These comments or compliments never flattered Radhika
but rather humbled her and deepened her faith in His love for them.
Radhikas settling in the backyard for the afternoon may be the same old
casual routine, but this is not the same old Radhika, today. The Radhika of
the past has been very calm, complacent, and strong willed. Life for her has
been an ultimate success, but it has not been easy. Neither to her nor her
children has success come on a silver platter. Her lifes norm has been living
in anxiety, sleepless nights and restless days. Her childrens success is a
result of their hard work, perseverance, and the Gods grace. Radhika has
used her inner power as calcium to strengthen her backbone. However limited
her outer resources, in the end she stood with a winning smile, strong and
undefeated. She recognized her inner power as blessings of her God and was
grateful for His constant guidance and protection. She believed as long as the
inner enormity works in her favor, outer limits would not matter.
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Today, Radhika has been startled, confused, and scared. She has been
disturbed by an unknown feeling, at times so intense that her heart wrenches
and stomach churns. It all started a few days ago at dawn with a vision. She
saw the horizon bent in a wrapped dream space, as a landscape of words
wrapped in sleep. A golden butterfly wrestled with the air in a violent
fluttering of wings, retreated, and advanced, descending from the spectral road
to the home of gravity and floated in dreams buoyancy. In her dream, she
felt a cold breeze coming from the open window. Shivering, she pulled the
blanket over her head. From the butterfly image, a figure slowly turned man.
A perfect stranger, she has seen him around but never gotten acquainted.
Sitting up in her bed, she wondered what link this stranger might have in the
chain of this unsolved mystery of life.
After spending nearly two decades in peace and piety, today Radhikas
chastity and austerity is threatened. In her vision, Radhika sees things larger
than life and is good at interpreting them. For instance, she envisioned her
granddaughter, held her, and played with her. She told her daughter about it.
Then her daughter got pregnant and gave birth to that very baby girl. Now, she
is uncertain of the future implications of this vision.
In the still pond, a pebble has been dropped. Ripples have been born. The
water has lost its tranquility, its crystal clarity. Radhika wants to pick up that
pebble and toss it away. She wants to keep her calm. She has cherished her
chastity and valued the three-fold purity of speech, mind, and body that lets
her roam guilt free. The very next day, she sees this stranger. Breathlessly,
she blurts it all to him who has no idea what she is talking about. Ultimately,
she apologizes, for laying this on him.
A gentleman, he shrugs his shoulders, and says, No harm done, which
temporarily strengthens her safe nest. Now, when she runs into him, she is
able to look at him without guilt, for she thinks that he knows her, though he
still is a stranger to her.
But, again, her conscience is overwhelmed with guilt. To keep her sanity, she
has selfishly dumped her burden on an innocent man. She badly wishes that
life were as simple as mathematical equations, where two minus two always
equals to zero. Life is a piece of material woven every moment with all the
colorful threads that are made available by destiny. She wonders what color
thread is hea victim or a victor! Life is a string of links strung together in a
chain. Every link has its own special space. In the absence of any link would
there be the chain! Would there be life!
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She wonders as she ponders the mystery of the human heart. After studying
medical science for numerous years, physicians describe its shape, count its
beat and x-ray to find problems. But do they fathom its depth, width, colors,
dreams, and mysterious links? Are these so-called learned, sane doctors able
to read feelings, dreams, and passions? Yesterday, he was a stranger to
Radhika, but today, he sits in her heart in his own special place with others
who have earned their own place in a destined way. Today, he sits by her in
her prayers, which are now filled with guilt. Embarrassed by her selfishness,
she prays for this strangers peace.
Child of destiny, fragile, Radhika whispers to herself, He is the Master
Weaver, and my life is a fabric planned. Without losing a sense of wonder, all
I can do is be a thread of gold and silver in His skillful hand, for He is the one
who knows the best. He weaves the fabric in the pattern He has planned.
Radhika remembers her eldest sister singing to her in her childhood, Que
Sera, Sera, Whatever will be, will be. Uncertain of the future, distraught,
Radhika lingers.
As the shimmering sun descends to call the day to rest, he carries the entire
worlds secrets and worries in his golden pail. She notices the empty
birdfeeder, though she doesnt remember seeing any birds. The day is done.
Birds neither sing nor dance. The wind has lost its strength and has drawn the
veil of darkness thick upon her. Radhika is torn terrifyingly by the conflicts
between the inner enormities and outer limits. She feels like a woman on a
pilgrimage whose provisions-sack (inner strength) is emptied before the
voyage is ended, whose garment is torn and dust-laden, and whose strength is
exhausted before the day is done, before the journey is over. Clinging to her
faith and relationship with her Creator, she prays for the removal of shame
and poverty, for the restoring of her lost strength, and for a chaste garment.
She thanks Him for wrapping the earth with the coverlet of sleep and pleas for
a renewal of life with the new sunrise. Now, in the night of weariness, she is
ready to give herself into sleep without struggle, resting her trust upon her
Heavenly Father. Surrendering through her prayer, she asks her Creator to
gather her in His grip of grace and shield her from lifes strange pace.
As slumbers soft calm creeps over her heavy lids, she slips out of her
conscious state. She flies on her wings in the unknown land of dreams. The
golden butterfly kisses her by touching his wings to her cheek. Instantly, the
conflict between the inner enormity and outer limits melts like a dewdrop
touched by sunrays. The butterfly-kiss pleases her. She feels physically,
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emotionally and spiritually subdued but pacified. She stands up using her
inner strength, not knowing that the outer limits are unable to get in her way,
which is pushing and encouraging her. Dreaming Radhika recalls her teacher
telling her, after she had won the first prize in the short story contest in high
school, to squeeze lifes experiences until they start juicing and taking form in
words. By using her vision as a resource, now, Radhika has written several
well received short stories and a novel, published by Dreamland University,
Safe Heaven, which made the bestsellers list for three weeks, and has
composed award-winning and anthologized poems. Now, she has reserved
her place as a significant writer.
As she enters the Universitys dining hall for the book signing event, the press
cameras target her and the fans run towards her with bunches of questions. It
is clear that they have bathed in a similar nostalgia every time they have
perused her works, and they are going crazy over it. They get close to ask her,
Who is he? She knows not how to answer them. She says, Indeed, I
cannot tell! Disappointed, they go away. And at that moment, she notices
him, sitting there in the middle of the front row staring at her with a
mischievous smile. As she slips into deep-sleeper state, she wonders about
this stranger and questions, Who is he?
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Rama and Sita, star-crossed lovers?

Fall 2014
Adapted from the Ramayana
Sita, decked in jewels and queenly garments, anxiously awaited Ramas return
in her chamber. As she experienced an ominous throbbing of eye and arm, she
recalled the first time she had seen Rama. That day while she was plucking
flowers for worship, she had noticed from a distance the revered Sage
Vishwamitra and a youth, walking slightly behind, headed towards her
fathers assembly. Suddenly, she had dropped the flower plucked for worship
as she glanced at the youth. Weak in her knees, she had lost her self in
daydreaming.
The sage had accepted greetings from the monarch of Mithila and asked,
Grant the wondrous bow of Rudra, Pinaka, to be shown to crown-prince
Rama, son of King Dasharatha of Ayodhya. Saintly king Janaka, who had
received the mighty bow from Shiva, had a peerless daughter Sita,
miraculously born of a field furrow. Wishing her to marry the bravest and
strongest prince, he had vowed that he would give Sita in marriage to the one
who could string the divine bow. Suitors, warlike princes known to fame, had
come from farthest regions to strive in vain to string the weapon.
Janaka assembled Sitas swayumwar (bride selecting groom ceremony). As a
mighty eight-wheeled iron car had pulled in the great bow from the citys
inner hall, Rama stood up and easily picked up the bow. Placing one end of it
against his toe to bend it, he snapped Pinaka in two. Princess Sita, the glory
of my house, sheds on me an added luster as she weds a godlike spouse,
Rama, announced Janaka gleefully.
Sita couldnt be happier.
Sita smiled, lingering on the memories of their happy life as a young couple in
the palace. Then when Rama was leaving for fourteen years exile to honor his
fathers promise to Kaikeyi, how she convinced him that wifes place is
always beside her husband.
Born of Mother-Earth, Sita reflected on how happy she was in natures peace
and piety in exile with Rama. She felt spiritually enhanced and enlightened as
they spent periods of time in different parts of the jungle visiting saints and
sages, discoursing with them, receiving their counsel and blessings. She
recalled how Rama, along with his brother Lakshmana, vanquished demons
who protested dharma, troubling the righteous men who, seeking spiritual
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enhancement, sacrificed their worldly comforts. Automatically, she folded her

hands, bowed her head and touched mentally the lotus-feet of the pious
entities she had encountered. But the train of thought then led her to her
kidnapping by the deceitful demon king Ravana, for almost a year, how she
had been tortured to hear his persistent pleas to leave Rama to marry him.
Though momentarily shivering, she still felt strengthened to realize how a
faithful chaste wife could control the greedy demons lustful behavior. Rama
had fought ferociously for days to annihilate Ravana and his associates to
establish orderly justice in a land of anarchy. Her eyes filled with tears as she
recalled how eagerly she wanted to reunite with her beloved husband and how
she ached at hearing his cruel words, O blessed one, the evil Ravana is slain.
I have wiped off the stain of insult on my noble house and established my
truthfulness and resolve. However, you were clasped and regarded with lustful
eyes. How then can I take you back into my house? Utterly shocked, Sita
couldnt believe that her hero was accusing her like an ordinary man
addressing a vulgar woman. Weeping she had said, When the demon
snatched me against my will, I was helpless. However, my strong-willed heart
never deviated from you. She then asked Lakshmana to raise a fire. Sita, with
her palms joined, circled her husband in reverence and stepped into the
flames, saying, God Agni, protect me, if I am pure. Lifting her up gently,
Agni attested, Rama, Sita is spotless and pure at heart. Then Rama
confessed that he never doubted Sita, but he had tested her to make the truth
known to all.
The ringing bells from the temple made Sita realize that it was dawn. She
showered quickly and rushed to join her husband in worship. As she stepped
in, she saw Rama plunged in sadness. He didnt look at her. Feeling
unwelcome, bowing to Rama and prostrating to the deity, she walked towards
the hall decked with the solar dynasty ancestors images and the Sun god on
the altar. Ugly rumors and innuendos had continued about her stay in the
demons land. She perceived that the dark cloud of suspicion about her
character still hung on her reputation. Prostrating herself before the family god
and each ancestor, heart-broken Sita proclaimed, Sun god and revered
ancestors, I have come to seek your blessings and vow that this great family
will never be dishonored again by my blemished shadow. Returning to her
chamber, removing her jewels, she exchanged her gold brocaded silk for a
saffron cotton sari, the clothing she had used in exile, and then sent her maid
for Lakshmana.
Lakshmana saw Sita in the attire of a hermit and heard her say, Drive me to
the jungle and leave me there. Stunned and confused, he went to consult with
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his brother. Rama stood unresponsive at the window of his room, looked upon
his kingdom and contemplated the nature of the world. As the chariot passed
by Ramas window, Sita stood up with her palms joined and whispered, My
Lord, I carry you in my heart with undiminished love and devotion.
Next morning, Ramas mother asked him, Knowing loving Sita was a
faithful, chaste wife, how could you let her go? Rama answered numbly, A
kings immediate family is his subjects. He must heed their opinions and rule
selflessly to please them. King and queen do not have the luxury of personal
happiness. Disturbed by the news, King Janaka journeyed to Ayodhya, only
to see the broken-hearted Rama lying on a mat by the window, leaving his bed
untouched. The old king silently returned.
The Raghu dynastys heir was growing in her womb. Sita, feeling helpless,
thought of ending her pain by walking into the river. However, grasping the
situation with his divine insight, a sage rushed to Sita. Do not enter the
river, said the shaggy old man introducing himself, Im Valmiki, a poethermit. I live in this forest. Come! Make my ashram your home.
Sita was given her own hut where she gave birth to Ramas twin sons, Luva
and Kush. Sita, the daughter of King Janaka, daughter-in-law of King
Dasharatha and Ramas queen, raised the twins as hermit boys and pupils of
Valmiki, enduring the hardships of jungle life. Protecting the honor and
prestige of her family, without blaming or depending on anyone, she chopped
wood, carried it on her shoulders to her hut, fetched pails water from a river,
ground grains and spices, cooked, washed and cleaned. Thus, she brought up
respectful, independent, competent children who grew up to be reliable,
intelligent, and valiant.
Twelve years passed. Observing kingly duties, lonely Rama lived stoically in
his joyless palace. His subjects were happy and his kingdom was prosperous.
Guru Vasistha advised him to prepare for Ashwa-megha yajna. According to
Vedic principles, ritualistic worship is fruitful only when a husband,
accompanied by his wife, performs it. Thus, it was suggested that he remarry.
Uncharacteristically, Rama angrily burst out, Never! So the Guru asked the
royal goldsmith to make a life-size gold image of Sita to accompany Rama in
worship.
The holydays of the grand gala arrived. Kings and princes of the neighboring
countries and all in Ayodhya were invited. Valmiki came along with Luva and
Kush. Since rituals took place from dawn to noon, public entertainments were
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arranged in the evenings. Luva and Kush were granted permission to recite
Valmikis epic poem, Ramayana, the story of Ramas life in Sanskrit,
consisting of seven books, 500 hundred cantos, and 24,000 couplets. Twenty
cantos were recited each day. What a feast of memory! By such recitals was
that literature preserved in ancient India.
On hearing the recital, Rama recognized his sons in the boy-minstrels. His
heart yearned for Sita. He asked Valmiki to restore his wife to him, if she
vowed her being chaste once again in the grand assembly. In vain, the sage
tried to convince Rama that this was neither necessary nor wise, admonishing
the king, You know Sita couldnt enter my ashram, unless she was chaste.
He urged Rama to accept his wife with due honor, offering her the place on
the royal throne.
With her palms clasped in reverence, the hermit Sita entered the assembly and
bowed to Rama, Gurus Valmiki and Vasistha, as well as her mothers-in-law
and her father, Janaka. All were stunned; tears flowed profusely. Begging
forgiveness, the citizens who had falsely accused Sita ran to the front and
knelt in regret. She blessed them like a Divine Mother would bless her
children. Taking steps backward, she uttered, Apart from Lord Rama, I dont
know any other man, and I dont even think of any other man. If it is true, may
Mother-Earth give me a place in her lap! If by thought, word and deed, I
worship Lord Rama, may Mother-Earth give me a place in her lap instantly!
O Mother, I am tired of undergoing test after test on this earth. Take me with
you now!
With a great sound, the ground split opened. Mother-Earth showed up with
her arms open and embraced her daughter, saying, Come, my dear child,
mothers lap always welcomes her daughter. Lets go to our world.
Mother why are you leaving us? cried Luva and Kush. Sita calmly
responded, I am handing you over to your father. For an heir, father is his
greatest god. And for a son, serving his father is his prime duty. Serve him
well! When an anguished Rama stood up crying, Sita Sita, you cant
leave me! she replied, My time is up. Lord, do not stop me now. O King
Rama, if I am born again, may I always get you as my husband in all my lives.
But in no life again bring about such a situation. Dont bring again such a
situation. Accept my best wishes.
No Sita! I wont let you go. Mother-Earth, return my Sita to me, or I will
destroy you. You know the power of my weapon, cried Rama inconsolably.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Rama, be calm! Using divine sight, recollect your Vishnu form. You
incarnated to slay evil Ravana, to dispel the darkness by removing the evil
instincts of envy, ego, greed, lust, and hatred, to uplift righteousness. Sita, an
image of the Goddess Lakshmi, followed you to assist in your mission. Now,
setting an example of an ideal daughter, wife and mother, the perfect woman
has reached her heavenly abode. You will unite with her after your earthly
journey ends, voiced Brahma from the sky.
Its a game of destiny. Valmiki foresaw the ending and tried very hard to
change it. But he could not, added Guru Vasistha.
O King, Sage Vasistha is right. The mighty Fate forces one to predict his
own destiny. Now, cherish your sons as Sitas gifts, responded Valmiki as he
walked away.
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SECTION V
Saying Goodbye
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Mandakini Hiremath
Wishing Dr. Howard Hill a fruitful retirement

June 2005
The words I, too, will be departingbut for retirement stopped me as I

was reading the column Congratulations and best wishes that Dr. Hill wrote
for the graduating seniors for the Humanities and Social Sciences Newsletter.
This made me reflect on our e-mail conversation from March 17 through
March 29. During this conversation he mentioned that he hadnt yet seen the
videotape of the retreat in Lanai City, Hawaii. I suggested that all he needed
to do was take a little time out of his busy schedule to watch it. In his response
he thanked me for encouraging him to lighten his career-related
responsibilities and smell the roses more frequently. He ended the message
with I shallI shall. I didnt realize then that Dr. Hill was going to lighten
his career-related responsibilities to this extent.
Dr. Hill writes in his column Brilliant hunches, Some individuals with
bright ideas are determined to succeedand they do. But there are those
among us, people who seem to be possessed with fertile minds, who are
rebuffed and discouraged to the extent that their pursuits are deemed
worthless. The next time you witness individuals expressing something
unfamiliar to you, do not brand their ideas foolish or strange. If the ideas are
truly novel, they will, in time, have a life. Our progressive civilization
depends on the brilliant hunches of others that continue to make life
enjoyable!
Encouraging those who need that little push, a little pat on the back, has
been Dr. Hills specialty. Ive never seen him disrespect others. He has kind
words of encouragement for all. Dr. Hills words of encouragement, his tiny
electronic complimentary messages, have boosted my confidence and inspired
me to continue my writing. I gratefully appreciate his confidence in my
ability.
Though Dr. Hill has been an administrator, as I have observed, he favors
being addressed as Professor. Dr. Hill is a prolific writer, so the first
question that pops into my mind is How does one retire from being an
educator or from writing? He cant; he wont stop educating, and he will
continue writing until he cant hold his pen any longer.
The word retirement flags age. For age youth is an opportunity no less
than youth itself, though in another dress, and as the evening twilight fades
away, the sky is filled with stars, invisible by day, writes Henry Wadsworth
Longfellow. Dr. Hills immediate plans are to take six months off for
exhaling, engaging in consultancies, determining which professorship to
accept for spring 2006 with teaching and research focus on K-12 schools,
working with policy groups and think tanks, etc.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Dr. Hill is going to stay busy, but of his own free will, not because the
clock is ticking, appointments are approaching, commitments are to be kept,
and deadlines are to be met. During our meeting, when he said with a smile
that he was going to take time to place food in his birdfeeder, hear the birds
chirp and watch the squirrels chase each other, I knew he was referring to my
column, The sweet old days, ran in the Times and Democrat on Monday,
April 18 and is posted in the section: Creative Works of Art. Dr. Hill wants to
pursue his interests: playing the guitar, learning the game of chess, speaking
Spanish and traveling extensively.
Its hard to believe that Ive known Dr. Hill for only four years. I have
worked with him closely on different projects. His treatment of me never
made me feel as though I was working with a vice president. His way of
addressing others as sir or maam is unique and reminds me of what he
said at the January 2001 Faculty Institute workshop on teamwork. While
talking about the animal in you, Dr. Peggy Prescott divided the entire
human race into four categories: lions, beavers, otters, and golden retrievers,
and explained the characteristics of each. She asked, Do you recognize
yourself? I still remember Dr. Hills response: I like to be a golden
retriever, a go-getter! Success is my teams goal. Dr. Hills manner of
dealing with, treating and respecting others is a recipe for success wherever
his journey may take him.
Dr. Hills plan for post-retirement is leaving a legacy of memories and
devoting more time for authorship. The quality of a persons life is in direct
proportion to his commitment to excellence, regardless of his chosen field of
endeavor. Dr. Hill, you are promised a time to have reason for your rhyme,
and you have used your rhyme for just reason. Go on building stately
mansions. As O. W. Holmes would ask you to build more stately mansions,
As the swift seasons roll! Leave thy low vaulted past!
Let each new temple, nobler than the last
Lets thank Dr. Howard Hill for his contributions to this institution and his
time with us. Lets wish him a fruitful retirement and pray that his dreams and
plans for tomorrow come true. May God bless Dr. Hill and his family.
As I say, We certainly are going to miss working with you, Dr. Hill, he
responds, Life goes on, Mrs. Hiremath. I will stay in touch.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Dear Askia, goodbye

November 2007
Life gets hectic and in the process, some go out of sight, and we lose touch,
eventually. However, they are never out of our hearts and out of our
occasional thoughts. As it is said, Out of sight is never out of mind.
The second week of October turned out to be extremely hectic for me. It
was midterm examinations week. Students were completing their term papers,
in addition to other assignments and taking exams, and they were lined up to
seek my help. Then after my hours at the Writing Center were over, I worked
on the Humanities and Social Sciences Newsletter. Exhausted at night, I had
neither time nor perceptive energy, so I piled up The Times and Democrat, a
daily local newspaper, all week to read it later.
Early Saturday morning, when I came to the Thursday, Oct. 11 edition, I
read the columns I wanted to read. Then before discarding it into the recycling
bin, I started browsing the entire newspaper. While I was flipping over the
pages, the obituary section grabbed my attention. I looked at the smiling face,
looked at the name, checked again and again, though they matched. I couldnt
believe that he had passed on while residing in Atlanta and that the memorial
services had already been held that Thursday at Trinity United Methodist
Church in Orangeburg. Talented artist and gifted writer, Askia (Moshe) Hale
had died of a heart attack at 36.
I was deeply saddened and rather shocked. I felt an immediate need of
talking with somebody who knew him. But calling someone at dawn wouldve
been invading someones privacy. Though I had to keep tight hold on my
urge, the thoughts persistently lingered.
I phoned his grandmother on Monday. As the phone was picked up, I
murmured, Mrs. Rose She is not home at present. The moments these
words were uttered, Askias mother, recognizing my voice, said, Mrs.
Hiremath. We talked long. She said her faith in Jesus and belief that she is
going to see him again in heaven have strengthened her to carry on.
Learning that she was taking it well, I felt a little solaced.
Askia was not my student; I couldnt call him my friend; however, he
managed to secure his place in my heart by constantly annoying me. He was a
regular client in the Macintosh Lab, where the Writing Center is presently
situated. At that time, I had in my office a 385 PC, which was slow and
inefficient, so I spent a considerable amount of time using the Macintosh to do
my work. Thus, we constantly encountered each other in the Macintosh Lab.
He would sit and write for hours and hours on his own pieces, not giving heed
to class assignments, which were overdue.
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Mandakini Hiremath
If I entered the lab when he was already in and simply said Hello and got
on with my work, he would wait a little while and then would start his tricks.
By beating his feet on the floor and hands on the desk or by turning his
computers microphone, which was set on mute, to play music at maximum
volume, he would make noise just to annoy me. I would look toward him
angrily and ask, What are you doing? He would answer, Now, Im OK.
You didnt speak to me. I had to get your attention.
On one occasion, I was walking toward my car and he was heading in the
same direction, so we walked together talking. We ran into President Rogers.
As we greeted him, Dr. Rogers turning towards me said, How are you doing
Maam! Then turning toward Askia, he said, You, young man, stay out of
trouble. A few steps away from Dr. Rogers, I asked Askia what that was
about. I wrote about something that he didnt like, he responded. As I
looked at him interrogatively, he added, That you dont want to know about.
Askia could never disguise himself in political correctness. Undoubtedly, he
was a great journalist and cartoonist. I always told him how I admired his
skills, thoughts and courage.
However, I felt he needed to establish his prominence first and earn the
power to express his opinions candidly and fearlessly. Yea! Its sad isnt it,
though, was his response. I agree with his mother as she wrote in his
obituary, Askia lived his life in his own terms and remained stoically
independent.
The year he graduated from Claflin majoring in English/elementary
education, his guest editorial column, Make some noise for Askia Hale! was
printed in the April/May 2000 edition of The Panther, the universitys student
newspaper. He wrote: Its taken ten years to get my degree, when I turn my
tassel on my mortar, when I head back toward my seat - I want that moment
to be accompanied by the longest, loudest overexcited sustained screams
and yells. The column displays his jolly, playful, carefree nature.
After all that mischief and before he left for Columbus, Ohio, to teach, I
had a chance to work with Askia, when I did two issues of The Panther in one
semester. I learned a great deal about elementary skills of design and layout
from watching him. As we said a tearful goodbye, I told him to be happy.
Yah! Right! 30 years old, no money, no car, no personal life was his
immediate response, and then he added, The one thing good about this is I
am going to be with my Mom. Shes experiencing some health problems. I
need to take care of her. He loved his mother and grandmother very much.
His eyes lit up and then filled with tears every time he spoke about his
grandfather, the late artist Arthur Rose. Askia always credited his artistic
skills to his grandfather.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Askias greatest success lay in his joy in teaching. We stayed in touch

through e-mail and discussed a great many of the challenges he was facing in
his profession. There was a case about an 8-year-old second-grader who was
suspended by school administrators for behaving badly.
Askia was fighting to bring that child back to school, though the child was
a little arrogant, stubborn and strong-willed, even to his parents. As an
elementary school teacher, Askias skills were exemplary. He developed a
curriculum for the pursuit of excellence that was adapted by the Columbus
Public Schools as a model program. Eventually, as life got more hectic, we
stopped corresponding.
We practically stopped e-mailing. However, during one Christmas break, a
year and half after he left Orangeburg, I was working one afternoon in my
office. I heard the door bang, bang, bang Filled with anger, I opened the
door, as his camera clicked. With a big smile he said, I got you! See, you
didnt have to ask me, Who is it? You knew who it was. Didnt you?
He walked into my office and sat on the chair behind my desk, leaving me
angry at the door. And then he started talking about cultural differences, how
you Asians widen and we African-Americans squint our eyes while
expressing anger. As usual he diverted me from my anger and escaped. This
was typical of Askia. And that was the last time I saw him.
Call me unusual, but I cant help but display my belief. After one has
departed, my thoughts are not as much with the person who has passed on as
with the loved ones that are left behind. I believe the person who has passed
on is with the God Almighty, but the people who remain have to go through
the heart-wrenching mundane chores with a vacuumed heart, missing the
departed. The hardest thing a mother ever has to do is bury her child. May
God bless Askias mother, Ms. Patricia Rose, and his grandmother, Mrs.
Elizabeth Rose. May they be comforted by the Heavenly Fathers loving,
healing power and blessed with strength to endure the loss.
Dear Askia, goodbye to you. You will be missed.
May your soul rest in peace.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Remembering Dr. Robert F. Thomas, Jr.

Fall 2008
As we say goodbye to Dr. Robert Fletcher Thomas, Jr., we remember his

dedicated service as music department chair, professor, university choir
accompanist, college organist, church choir accompanist and mentor.
However, when I think of Dr. Thomas, I remember his inspiring, encouraging,
and amicable nature.
The last time that I talked with Dr. Thomas was during the spring semester
at a meeting of the School of Humanities and Social Sciences in the
auditorium of GTK. He was sitting in a chair close to the door. Since many of
us were seeing him for the first time since his return after being away on sickleave, there was a long line to greet him, to welcome him back and to wish
him well. When it was my turn to extend my greetings and welcome him
back, I told Dr. Thomas, Stay well. With a smile, he responded, OK! Ill
try. And then in June, after the Claflin Family received a bereavement notice
from Dr. Tisdales office about the passing of Christoff Rogers, the son of
former Claflin University President Dr. Oscar A. Rogers and Mrs. Rogers, we
talked on the phone.
Dr. Thomas and Dr. and Mrs. Rogers telephoned each other quite often,
and Dr. Thomas used to deliver messages from them to me, reminding me that
Dr. and Mrs. Rogers hadnt forgotten me. In addition, Dr. Thomas got in
touch with me each time he needed extra copies of the Humanities and Social
Sciences Newsletter, which I have produced since 2001. He said he used them
for recruiting purposes. Every time he asked me for more copies, he said the
newsletter is an excellent tool, since its so filled with positive information
about all the departments that are affiliated with the School. And he thanked
and complimented me for doing such a great job in producing an excellent
publication. This is how I know Dr. Thomas: he was courteous and
thoughtful. If I ever heard Dr. Thomas talking about someone, it was to praise
or say kind words to or about him or her. I never heard anything negative
coming out of his mouth.
This spring Dr. Thomas would have been recognized for 45 years of
service at Claflin. He was an excellent teacher who made a significant
contribution to his profession. We, the members of the School of Humanities
and Social Sciences, are going to miss him deeply. However, birth is the
messenger of death, says a Syrian proverb. Each birth is marked by death.
Each ones lifespan on this earth is determined by the will of the Lord
Almighty. So as ones time is over on this earth by His will, all we can do is
celebrate and remember the loved one that has passed on.
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Mandakini Hiremath
We say goodbye to Dr. Thomas. And we thank the Heavenly Father for
sharing such a good man with us.
May Dr. Robert Fletcher Thomas, Jr., rest in peace. And may the God
Almighty bless his family.
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Mandakini Hiremath
The way to attain perfection

Farewell to Jaya Lakshmi
March 2008
The Saturday of March 8 turned out to be very sad. We said goodbye to

one of our friends. Mrs. Jaya Lakshmi Krishna died on Tuesday, March 4.
As we talked about how saddened we were, our other friends and
colleagues who didnt know her personally patiently listened and shared our
sorrow. The frequently asked question was, Was she ill? What did she die
of?
Thinking of those questions now, I realize how common those questions
are and how we humans always, though oddly, are inclined to look for a
cause-and-effect factor! A physician may declare his patients cause of death,
day and time; but I wonder if it is all for our humanly solace, for a kind of
closure we need. In reality, it seems like when someones time is up, all other
considerations and reasoning stop. The only final closure is Gods will, and
we must accept it.
However many times one goes through this saying goodbye ritual, one
never gets used to experiencing the feelings of sadness and anguish caused by
the loss. The theosophy, scriptural knowledge about religious beliefs, is easily
blurred by the humanly emotional attachment. Death, whenever it comes by
whatever reason, is always sad. Especially, it creates a vacuum for the loved
ones who are left behind. However, we are assured of the lifes continuity to
vouch the Heavenly Fathers will by reminding ourselves of our faith and
scriptural learning, as we sit gravely and listen to the life-ending rituals. Death
is certain for that which is born, and birth is certain for that which dies. For
this unavoidable fact one should not grieve (Bhagavad-Gita 2:27).
A Hindu belief is a mortal body exists only just to cover the Eternal Self,
often addressed as soul. This Self is never born nor does it ever perish; nor
does it become only after being born. It is eternal and ancient (ageless); even
though the body is slain, the soul remains unharmed (Bhagavad-Gita 2:20).
Explaining the nature of soul in Bhagavad-Gita, ShriKrishna says, just as a
person gives up his old clothes to put on new ones, so does the embodied soul,
having discarded the worn out bodies, put on new ones. Weapons cannot cut
the Self, fire cannot burn it, water cannot drown it, nor can wind dry it
(Bhagavad-Gita 2:22, 23).
Discoursing on the interaction of spirit and matter, ShriKrishna speaks of
the imperishable Ashwattha (the Banyan, the Indian holy-fig-tree, a tree
whose branches, bending to the ground, take root to form new stocks, till they
become a forest.) tree with its roots above and branches below, the Vedic
verses constitute its leaves. He who knows this tree is the knower of the
essence of the Vedas. Nourished by the modes of Nature, the branches of this
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tree, which has sense-objects for its buds, spread high and low; and its roots
spread below in the world of men creating the bondage of Karma and thereby,
being entangled in a continual cycle of birth and death. The way of getting out
of this eternal birth-death cycle is to cut branches of the tree before they root
under the mundane soil to give birth to a new tree. The branches of this tree
are the unending attachment we form with the perishable objects. Thus, the
scripture advises the way to attain perfection is to enjoy material things
without being attached to it; when its time to let it go, be prepared for it. This
is the gist of that wisdom.
Life goes on regardless of what one encounters. Ones right is only to
perform your duties - not to the fruits thereof. One should not be impelled to
act for selfish reasons, nor should he be attached to inaction (Bhagavad-Gita
2:47).
Jayas son, Dr. Raju Krishna from Hilton Head, while speaking at the
memorial service, said, At my mothers death, I was left with only two
options: I could either grieve for or celebrate her 62 years of life. And I chose
the latter!
And I believe his was a cleverly choice.
May Jaya Lakshmi Krishna rest in peace. And may the God Almighty bless
the Krishna family.
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Saying goodbye to a colleague, Dr. Syed Hassan

April 2009
Claflin University had an open house on Saturday, April 4. I volunteered to

keep the Writing Center open. The day was passing by normally, as expected,
and according to schedule until I learned from Dr. Zia Hasan, vice president
for planning and assessment, about the passing of Dr. Syed Hassan. While
staying in the care of his mother and brothers in New York, Dr. Syed Hassan
died on April 3.
Dr. Syed Hassan was a loving family man, renowned professor, cordial
colleague and, above all, a very gentle, respectful soul. He resided in
Columbia with his wife and three daughters. In the spring of 2007, he and his
wife, who worked that semester as an adjunct at our university in the
Department of English and Foreign Languages, commuted to the campus each
day. Everything seemed to be going so well for the couple, and they seemed
extremely happy, always walking around together with a smile and a greeting
for everyone. However, in February 2008, Dr. Hassan suffered a cerebral
hemorrhage while coming to work. He was admitted to the Regional Medical
Center by colleagues and then moved to Columbia. He remained under
doctors treatment.
The last time I saw Dr. Hassan was on the day he attended the Faculty
Institute on Aug. 15, 2008. During the interval between the meetings, as I ran
into him, I greeted him, saying, How are you, Dr. Hassan? Its good to see
you. Dr. Hassan seemed unwilling to talk about his health. A modest person,
he did not like being fussed over.
Since the days schedule was tight, we had to rush from one meeting to the
next and then to the workshop. Not seeing him during the next two or three
days at work, I asked my colleagues about his well-being and learned that he
had to undergo a few more medical tests. Dr. Syed Hassan, a 55-year-young
professor, had lost part of his memory when he suffered that fateful stroke.
And everything, every aspect of his life, changed so rapidly and drastically for
him. As a result, it seemed as though he lost his desire to live.
That one episode of illness exemplifies how life can change
instantaneously. And no one is either immune or invincible.
Dr. Hassan joined the Department of English and Foreign Languages at
Claflin University in August 2000 as an associate professor of English. He
had a masters degree in English literature and European history from the
University of Dhaka. He received his Ph.D. in 1994 from Purdue University.
Dr. Hassan wrote his dissertation on the poetry of William Butler Yeats.
Dr. Hassans other publications are as follows: Rubaiyats, Random
Thoughts, Between Barbed Wires, Inner Edge, and Ashes and Sparks.
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Provincial Books and the Writers Workshop Publications published his works.
Dr. Hassan has been recognized as a poet in the Encyclopedia of PostColonial Literatures in English, published by Routledge.
Hassan is, writes Professor Leon A. Gottfried, chair of the English
Department at Purdue University, a potent poetic voice in the expanding
network of East-West literary connections. The content of his poems,
Pakistan of Partition, the Portraits of Mussolini, Imperial Dragons and
Splintering of National Liberation, though politically motivated, are not
confined to one region or era.
His poems fluctuate impressively, writes Dr. Timothy A. Brennan,
professor of English at Purdue University, from scream to whimper without
losing their intensity. Life hurts, but not every pain is painful; this human
paradox is explored throughout his volumes. Under British rule, India,
Pakistan, and Bangladesh were one country. In 1947, Pakistan bifurcated from
India, and then, in 1971, Bangladesh separated from Pakistan. Dr. Hassan
writes in his poem Pakistan:
My heart bled and I could not see
By raising walls how a people could be free
From Khyber to Teknaf the land is one
But you insisted on dividing the sun
Now the East is totally cut from the West
Like a cancerous lump from the mothers breast.
Though away from his motherland, Dr. Hassan still served his country as
U.S. correspondent for Holiday (one of the leading English-language weeklies
in Bangladesh).
I featured Dr. Hassan in The School of Humanities and Social Sciences
Newsletter, April/May 2002 edition. Knowing how deeply he loved his
mother, I had asked him to write a poem for his mother. He wrote:
Dear Mother: Madly in love and forever blessing
On the heavens of undying grace, wrapped in
Tenderness and with a radiance comforting like the setting sun
Here all that is human has a rendezvous with sublime
Embellished with secrets not yet revealed
Replica of the angels on earth called Mom.
Now what saddens me the most is that his 75-year-old dear mother has to
bury her beloved firstborn. However, being as kind-hearted as Dr. Hassan
was, he wouldnt want us to be sad. Reminding us that life hurts, but not every
pain is painful, he would quote Thomas Browne:
Sleep is a death; oh, make me try
By sleeping what is to die
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And gently lay my head

On my grave as now my bed
We bid goodbye to Dr. Syed Hassan and we thank the heavenly father for
sharing this good man with us.
He will be missed. May his soul rest in peace.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Remembering Dr. Julian Marshall Williams

July 2011
The Claflin family, especially the members of the School of Humanities

and Social Sciences, were shocked and deeply saddened by the sudden and
untimely death of Dr. Julian M. Williams. He passed away on Wednesday,
July 6, 2011, after complications from minor surgery.
Sudden loss causes us to look backward. We recognize our own mortality,
and we are reminded that in the fleeting time we have on this Earth, what
matters is not wealth, or status, or power, or fame - but rather, how well we
have loved and appreciated others. Sadly, I browsed through my e-mail to
check the last time he and I had corresponded electronically. The subject of
Dr. Williams most recent message was Good news. He had written,
Mrs. Hiremath, I just found out that my manuscript, Latin American
Newspaper Coverage of the United States Civil Rights Movement, has
been accepted for publication in the International Journal of Business
and Social Science. I hope that you will put this in the newsletter.
Thanks. -J. Williams
Dr. Williams last visit to the Writing Center was in the latter fortnight of
May to say goodbye before going away for summer vacation. I congratulated
him on the good news, and assured him that I certainly would post it in the
next newsletter. He seemed very excited to spend time with his daughters,
Michelle, 18 and Nicole, 14, and family, wife, mother, brothers and a sister.
He enjoyed talking about his daughters and comparing his upbringing with
that of todays generation. In another e-mail he wrote,
Mrs. Hiremath, I enjoyed reading your columns. I especially enjoyed
the one on respect. It seems few families have time to sit at the dinner
table each day. People just grab what they want when they get home.
When I was growing up, I looked forward to talking with my family
each evening. We talked about a lot of things. Mom used to teach us
to use good manners. She said if a family member used bad manners at
the table, he or she was to be given a warning. If he used bad manners
again, he was to be punished by doing something that now seems
harmless, like singing a song or doing a little dance. At the time, we
were all quite shy and didnt like to get in front of anyone, including
our siblings. Singing was, to me, like getting a whipping (smile). -J.
Williams
Obviously, he was a family man. He loved and respected his mother
greatly.
Dr. Williams was an excellent communicator and good story teller. His
love and pride for his children was quite obvious. My last words for him were,
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Enjoy your time with your daughters. See you in August. Now, each day
when I pass by the Mass Communications Department and realize that Dr.
Williams is not going to be with us, the awareness of the uncertainty of life
flashes over and helplessly makes me reflect on Sir Walter Scotts words,
Like the dew on the mountain, like the foam on the river, like the bubbles on
the fountain thou art gone and forever.... Death is so final.
Dr. Julian Williams joined us as an associate professor in the Department
of Mass Communications in the Fall, 2007. Before joining Claflin University,
he taught at the University of Florida for 14 years, earning a Teacher of the
Year designation from the students of the program in 2005. He earned his
Ph.D. in mass communications with an emphasis on international
communications from Indiana University in 1999.
I remember asking Dr. Williams in 2007, when I was getting ready to write
a column to welcome the new faculty members, why he joined Claflin
University, and what he planned to accomplish here. Dr. Williams had
answered,
I chose Claflin largely because of a conversation that I had with a
friend of mine at a conference in San Antonio. He was a Claflin
graduate who was studying for a Ph.D. at Penn State University. He
was very excited about the high quality of education at Claflin and told
me that I would see it as a school that was going places. I have since
heard glowing reports about the institution. I am delighted to be a part
of the Claflin family.
He added,
As for what I plan to accomplish at Claflin, my goal is to achieve
excellence in teaching and research.
And so he did. He was one of the nations experts on the media during the
civil rights era, having written illuminating articles about the experience of
TV and radio stations and photographers in Mississippi, Alabama and South
Carolina during the 1950s and 1960s. He was elected to the board of directors
of the American Journalism Historians Association in 2007, became a
member of the Editorial Board of American Journalism in 2008, and in recent
years gave presentations across the U.S. at conferences. Dr. Williams was
admired and appreciated by many not only for his academic expertise but also
for his candid nature and heartfelt laugh, which could be heard from afar. He
talked candidly with his colleagues, making each one feel that he or she was
the most important person with whom he shared his thoughts. He was modest
and a man without guile. We are going to miss him very much.
May Dr. Julian M. Williamss soul rest in peace. May God bless the
Williams family with strength to endure the loss.
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Mandakini Hiremath
Something about life

Farewell to Vasu Swami
May 2012
Tuesday, May 22, turned out to be very sad. We said goodbye to one of our
friends. Mrs. Vasu U. Swami died on Sunday, May 20, after a brief illness.
As I learned about Vasus illness, deeply saddened, I visited another one of
my local friends. We commiserated over the matter of her illness, and the only
conclusion we could come up with was that we would keep Vasu in our
thoughts and prayers and hope that she recuperates soon.
When I was leaving, my friend presented me a decorative tiny pot with a
plastic sunflower activated by two solar-powered leaves on its sides. It sits in
my family room window facing east. I observe the leaves inaction, tirelessly
flipping like wings as the sun rises up and slowing down gradually as the day
goes down and eventually going lifeless until the next sunrise to begin lively
all over again. And I feel enlightened as I realize how deeply the action
symbolizes life and its nature.
Within every living being there is tiny flicker of light, which keeps him/her
alive. Just as the sun ignites life in solar-powered leaves, the light enables a
mortal body to function. This light is called the Eternal Self and is often
addressed as the soul. Alike sun, soul is never born nor does it ever perish. It
is eternal and ancient (ageless). A Hindu belief is that a mortal body exists just
to coat the soul. Explaining the fundamental distinction between the
temporary material body and the eternal spiritual soul in Bhagavad-Gita, Shri
Krishna illustrates: Just as a person changes his clothes, the embodied soul
discards the worn-out bodies to put on new ones. Even though the body is
slain, the soul remains unharmed. Weapons cannot cut it; fire cannot burn it;
water cannot drown it, nor can wind dry it (Bhagavad-Gita 2:20-23).
Veda explains that the cycle of births and deaths is continual.
Reincarnation is the natural process of birth, death and rebirth. When ones
time is up, at death, he drops off his physical body and continues evolving in
the inner world in his subtle body until again he enters into rebirth. Through
the ages, the concept of reincarnation has eliminated the fear of death and has
been a great consoling element within Hinduism. We are not the body but the
immortal soul which inhabits our bodies in its evolutionary journey through
the mundane world. After death, the dead continue to exist in unseen worlds,
enjoying or suffering the harvest of earthly deeds until his time for yet another
physical birth. The actions set in motion in previous lives form the tendencies
and conditions for the next. Reincarnation ceases when karma is resolved and
God is comprehended. Thus, liberation is attained.
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Although time-and-again we go through this saying goodbye ritual, we

never get used to experiencing the feelings of sadness and anguish caused by
losing the loved one. The theosophy, scriptural knowledge about religious
beliefs, is easily blurred by humanly emotional attachment. Death, whenever
it comes by whatever reason, is always sad; it creates a vacuum for the loved
ones who are left behind. However, as we sit gravely and listen to the lifeending rituals, we are reminded of our faith and scriptural learning about lifes
nature and its continuity.
Swamis son, Dr. Anil Swami, from Detroit, Michigan, while speaking at
the funeral service, said that he thought his father and mother would live long
and grow older together. He never thought that his mother would die at 66. He
added that he was very proud of his parents; his dad took care of his mother
wonderfully while his mother courageously fought for her life for months.
Setting aside his medical practice, Anil made his priority to spend as much
time as he could with his mother and be supportive to his dad in desperation. I
believe his was the best humanly effort to cope with the inevitable.
Vasu Swami will be missed dearly. May her soul rest in peace. And may the
God Almighty bless the Swami family.
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Dr. Howard Hill made a difference

Remembering Dr. Hill
October 26, 2013
I was surprised and deeply saddened to learn about the passing of Dr.
Howard Hill, a former vice president for academic affairs at Claflin
University. Dr. Hill died on Sunday, Oct. 21.
Dr. Hill was an educator, administrator, a prolific writer, and a longtime
columnist for The Times and Democrat. Loss of any dear person causes us to
look backward. We recognize our own mortality, and we are reminded that in
the fleeting time we have on this Earth, what matters is not wealth, or status,
or power, or fame but rather, how well we have loved and appreciated
others.
Sadly, I browsed through my email to check the last time Dr. Hill and I had
corresponded electronically. His latest e-message was dated Sept. 30, 2012. I
had electronically congratulated him on his being recognized for being the
exemplification of good manners as part of Orangeburg Countys Community
of Character initiative for the month, the honor he had genuinely earned. He
responded:
Mrs. Hiremath,
Thanks for the congratulatory statement; you are very kind to me.
The Choosing civility recognition that I received caught me totally by surprise in that I was
presented an honor by the Orangeburg County Community of Character selection committee.
Again, Mrs. Hiremath, thank you!
Sincerely,
Professor Howard Hill
And he didnt stop with the email; within three days, to my surprise, I
received a huge Thank you card with a handwritten note in the mail.
Saturday, Oct. 26, is Make a Difference Day. For more than 20 years, USA
Weekend Magazine and Points of Light have joined to sponsor the national
day of community service. It is a celebration of neighbors helping neighbors.
Millions of volunteers from around the world unite in a common mission to
improve the lives of others on this day. Making someones day, brightening
somebodys day by doing and saying something unexpectedly, was Dr. Hills
specialty. What a perfect day to pay tribute to such a special man.
Dr. Hill wrote in his column Brilliant hunches, Some individuals with
bright ideas are determined to succeed and they do. But there are those
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among us, people who seem to be possessed with fertile minds, who are
rebuffed and discouraged to the extent that their pursuits are deemed
worthless. The next time you witness individuals expressing something
unfamiliar to you, do not brand their ideas foolish or strange. If the ideas are
truly novel, they will, in time, have a life. Our progressive civilization
depends on the brilliant hunches of others that continue to make life
enjoyable!
Encouraging those who needed that little push, a little pat on the back, was
Dr. Hills specialty. I never saw him disrespect others. He had kind words of
encouragement for all. Dr. Hills words of encouragement, his tiny electronic
complimentary messages, boosted my confidence and helped me to continue
my writing. However, I still havent been able to follow one part of his advice.
He persistently suggested (since 2006) that I publish a monograph. Here is a
quotation from his 2006 electronic message, ... Believe me, the suggestion I
advanced to you is achievable/doable. I will provide you time to think about it
in that most of the needed articles are already in your possession. ... You
already have the content for the decent monograph. ... Dr. Hills telling me
what a prolific writer, a serious writer, editorial maverick I am has
encouraged me to write. I gratefully appreciate his confidence in my ability.
I worked with him closely on different projects while he was at Claflin. His
treatment of me never made me feel as though I was working with a vice
president. His way of addressing others as sir or maam was unique and
reminds me often of what he had said at the January 2001 Faculty Institute
workshop on teamwork. While talking about the animal in you, Dr. Peggy
Prescott divided the entire human race into four categories: lions, beavers,
otters, and golden retrievers, and explained the characteristics of each. When
she asked, Do you recognize yourself? Dr. Hill responded: I like to be a
golden retriever, a go-getter! Success is my teams goal. Dr. Hills manner
of dealing with, treating and respecting others was a recipe for success
wherever his journey took him. He found the positive in every situation.
Though Dr. Hill served as an administrator, he favored being addressed as
Professor. Dr. Hills passion was for authorship and leaving a legacy of
memories. He devotedly fulfilled his passion till to the end. He didnt stop
educating and serving the community. And he continued writing until he
couldnt hold his pen any longer.
Dr. Howard Hill will be missed greatly. The Orangeburg community has
lost such a modest, honorable, good man.
May his soul rest in peace. May the God Almighty bless his family with
strength to endure the loss.
Let us keep them in our thoughts and prayers.
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Mandakini Hiremath
In Memory of
The 7th president of Claflin University 1984 - 1994
Dr. Oscar Allan Rogers, Jr.

September 10, 1928 July 28, 2011
A.B., S.T.B., M.A.T., Ed. D.
A Tribute to Dr. and Mrs. Rogers
Painting of Dr. and Mrs. Rogers

H. V. Manning Library
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The Prophet
By Kahlil Gibran
On Death: When Almitra, the seeress, asked the prophet about the secret of
death, he responded: You shall find secret of death in the heart of life, for the
owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery
of light. If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide
unto the body of life, for life and death are one, even as the river and the sea
are one. In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of
the beyond, and like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of
spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. Your fear of death
is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose
hand is to be laid upon him in honor. Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his
trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king? Yet is he not more mindful
of his trembling? For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to
melt into the sun? And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from
its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And
when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And
when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
The Farewell: And facing the people again, the Prophet raised his voice and
said: People of Orphalese, the wind bids me leave you. Less hasty am I than
the wind; yet, I must go.
We wanderers, ever seeking the lonelier way, begin no day where we have
ended another day; and no sunrise finds us where sunset left us. Even while
the earth sleeps we travel. We are the seeds of the tenacious plant, and it is in
our ripeness and our fullness of heart that we are given to the wind and are
scattered. Brief were my days among you, and briefer still the words I have
spoken. But should my voice fade in your ears, and my love vanish in your
memory, then I will come again, and with a richer heart and lips more yielding
to the spirit will I speak. Yea, I shall return with the tide, though death may
hide me, the greater silence enfold me. From the greater silence I shall return.
And to my silence came the laughter of your children in streams, and the
longing of your youths in rivers. And when they reached my depth the streams
and the rivers ceased not yet to sing, but sweeter still than laughter and greater
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than longing came to me. It was boundless in you. The vast man in whom you
are all but cells and sinews, He in whose chant all your singing is but a
soundless throbbing. It is in the vast man that you are vast. And in beholding
him that I beheld you and loved you. Like a giant oak tree covered with apple
blossoms is the vast man in you. His mind binds you to the earth, his
fragrance lifts you into space, and in his durability you are deathless. You
have been told that, even like a chain, you are as weak as your weakest link.
This is but half the truth. You are also as strong as your strongest link. To
measure you by your smallest deed is to reckon the power of ocean by the
frailty of its foam. To judge you by your failures is to cast blame upon the
seasons for their inconsistency.
Ay, you are like an ocean; you cannot hasten your tides. And like the seasons
you are; though in your winter you deny your spring, yet spring, reposing
within you, smiles in her drowsiness and is not offended. I only speak to you
in words of that which you yourselves know in thought. Your thoughts and
my words are waves from a sealed memory that keeps records of our
yesterdays. It is a flame spirit, life itself in quest of life in bodies that fear the
grave. There are no graves here. These mountains and plains are a cradle and a
stepping-stone. Whenever you pass by the field where you have laid your
ancestors look well thereupon, and you shall see yourselves and your children
dancing hand in hand. Verily you often make merry without knowing. You
have given me deeper thirsting after life. Surely there is no greater gift to a
man than that which turns all his aims into parching lips and all life into a
fountain. And in this lies my honor and my reward - That whenever I come to
the fountain to drink, I find the living water itself thirsty, and it drinks me
while I drink it.
Some of you have deemed me proud and over-shy to receive gifts. To proud
indeed am I to receive wages, but not gifts. You give much and know not that
you give at all. Verily the kindness that gazes upon itself in a mirror turns to
stone, and a good deed that calls itself by tender names becomes the parent to
a curse. And some of you have called me aloof and drunk with my own
aloneness, and you have said, He holds council with the trees of the forest,
but not with men. He sits alone on hill-tops and looks down upon our city.
True it is that I have climbed the hills and walked in remote places. How
could I have seen you save from a great height or a great distance? How can
one be indeed near unless he be far?
In the solitude of their souls they said these things. But were their solitude
deeper they would have known that I sought but the secret of your joy and
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your pain, and I hunted only your larger selves that walk the sky. But the
hunter was also the hunted, for many of my arrows left my bow only to seek
my own breast. And the flier was also the creeper, for when my wings were
spread in the sun their shadow upon the earth was a turtle. And I the believer
was also the doubter, for often have I put my finger in my own wound that I
might have the greater belief in you and the greater knowledge of you. And it
is with this belief and this knowledge that I say, You are not enclosed within
your bodies, nor confined to houses or fields. You dwell above the mountain
and rove with the wind; youre not a thing that crawls into the sun for warmth
or digs holes into darkness for safety, but a free spirit that envelops the earth
and moves in the ether. Life, and all that lives, is conceived in the mist and not
in the crystal. But a crystal is mist in decay, which seems most feeble and
bewildered in you is the strongest and most determined. Is it not your breath
that has erected and hardened the structure of your bones? And is it not a
dream, which none of you remember, having dreamt that building your city
and fashioned all there is in it? Could you but see the tides of that breath you
would cease to see all else, and if you could hear the whispering of the dream
you would hear no other sound. But you neither see, nor do you hear, and it is
well. The veil that clouds your eyes shall be lifted by the hands that wove it,
and the clay that fills your ears shall be pierced by those fingers that kneaded
it. And you shall see. And you shall hear. That day you shall know the hidden
purposes in all things, and you shall bless darkness as you would bless light.
Noticing the pilot of his ship awaiting, he said: The winds blows; and restless
are the sails; even the rudder begs direction. Yet, quietly the captain of my
ship and my mariners, who have heard the choir of the greater sea, await my
silence. Now they shall wait no longer. I am ready. The stream has reached
the sea, and once more the great mother holds her son against her breast. Fare
you well. This day has ended. What was given us here we shall keep, and if it
suffices not, then again must we come together and together stretch our hands
unto the giver. Forget not that I shall come back to you. A little while, and my
longing shall gather dust and foam for another body. A little while, a moment
of rest upon the wind, and another woman shall bear me. Farewell to you and
the youth I have spent with you. Now our sleep has fled and our dream is
over, and it is no longer dawn. The noontide is upon us and our half waking
has turned to fuller day, and we must part. If in the twilight of memory, we
should meet once more in another dream, we shall build another tower in the
sky.
So saying, he made a signal to the seamen, and they moved eastward. And a
cry came from the people, and it rose the dusk and was carried out over the
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sea like a great trumpeting. Gazing after the ship until it had vanished into the
mist, Almitra silently stood upon the sea-wall, remembering his saying, A
little while, a moment of rest upon the wind, and another woman shall bear
me.
Published in 1923, The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran has become one of the best classics of our
time. He wrote this book at the age of 21. Considered as his best work, it has been translated
into more than twenty languages. This is condensed version from the source: http://wwwpersonal.umich.edu/~jrcole/gibran/prophet/prophet.htm
A Tribute to Dr. and Mrs. Rogers

As soon as I learned of the passing of Dr. Oscar Rogers, former President
of Claflin University, my thoughts immediately turned towards Mrs. Ethel Lee
Rogers and our recent conversations and correspondences. When, in June
2008, I heard about the death of their eldest son, Christopher Allan Rogers, I
thought for weeks about calling Mrs. Rogers.
One evening I hesitantly picked up the phone and dialed the number. They
had just buried their beloved son, the hardest thing parents ever have to do. I
didnt know what to say. As soon as I heard her say, Hello, I just said, Mrs.
Rogers. Her first response was Mrs. Hiremath, how are you? How is
everybody in the family? Its so good to hear from you. Motherly as always,
she made me feel at ease. When I told her the reason for not calling sooner,
she immediately said, I understand. Then she added that the only thing she
felt good about in Christophers death was that he didnt suffer. He had a heart
condition, lived with a pace maker installed in his heart. Now, Dr. Rogers is
bound to wheel chair; he doesnt walk anymore and is living with congestive
heart failure condition since 2007.
Then abruptly she stopped and said, Dr. Rogers just rolled in; say Hi to
him. After I said Hi, he enquired about our wellbeing and ended the
conversation saying, Mrs. Hiremath, maam, I sound stronger than my body.
I am still pushing on and surprised to be alive.
Mrs. Rogers asked me to stay in touch and assured me she would write
more often. She added that though she had made promises like this before in
vain, this time she certainly would follow through. Before we hung up I said
to her, I know you are taking care of everybody, but you need to take care of
yourself. Caretakers are the one most neglected. I will try, she responded.
Within a week, I received a letter from her. She had written, . At times I
feel so rushed and worn-out. The evenings are the worst. Getting him settled
down and ready for bed is a big job. We will talk soon.
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Mandakini Hiremath
We corresponded frequently until April 2009; Dr. Rogers and she wrote
several letters together. Then, their writing came to a sudden halt. I learned
that she had suffered a stroke. In December, I just received their holiday
greeting, but there was no My dear friends letter enclosed.
This tribute to Dr. and Mrs. Oscar Allan Rogers, Jr., is based on the telephone conversations
and the letters they wrote to me during the period of July 2008 April 2009. Throughout our
correspondence, Dr. Rogers wanted to make sure that Orangeburg community knows Mrs.
Ethel Lee Rogers. Thus, here it is!
Behind every successful man stands a powerful woman

Ethel Lee Lewis was born at Vaughn and attended
Daniel Hand School and Tougaloo Preparatory School.
She had completed her teacher training and interned at
the preparatory school; however, her goal was to become
a physician, so she enrolled at Tougaloo College in
premedical program, majored in biology and chemistry,
worked in Eastman Library (Holman Hall), and
participated in the Spanish and Science Clubs. She was a
member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority.
After a stint and then on terminal leave from the U.S. Navy, in 1947, Oscar
met Ethel the first day of registration at Tougaloo College. Thus began this
lifelong romance. Oscar, a freshman and Ethel, an upperclassman, became an
inseparable couple about the campus. Oscars major was history and English.
He knew no science, and she did not love history. By attending school in
summers of 1948 and 49, while she worked in New England, Oscar graduated
with Ethel in 1950. She received the B. S. degree and Oscar A.B. Oscar was
summa cum laude. He credits Ethel with stabilizing his study habits, his
motivation and drive to achieve. In fact, he asserts, she taught him basic
science and how to write a book report.
After graduating from Tougaloo College, Ethel joined
the U.S. Navy as a Wave, and Oscar matriculated at
Harvard Divinity School in Cambridge,
Massachusetts. The recruiter in Mississippi denied
enlisting Ethel, for the reason that she was black. She
went to New Orleans and made headlines in
newspapers as the first black Wave to join the Waves
in Louisiana. Oscar journeyed by plane to the great
Lakes area in Illinois where he took a job at the post
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Mandakini Hiremath
office and made arrangement for the marriage. On December 20, 1950, Ethel
Lee Lewis of Tougaloo, MS. and Oscar Allan Rogers, Jr. of Natchez were
wedded at Waukegan, Illinois.
Clippings from:
THE WAUKEGAN, ILLINOIS

NEWS SUN
Thursday, December 21, 1950
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Mandakini Hiremath
After the wedding, Oscar returned to Boston and Lee, as Oscar called her,
began her three years plus in the navy. She enrolled in Medical Corp of the
navy and attended x-ray school. Because she scored high, she could choose
her assigned station. She chose Chelsea Navy Hospital as Oscar continued a
four year matriculation at Harvard University. (Again, Dr. Rogers wants to
remind the readers that) It became all possible due to Lees tutoring at
Tougaloo; Oscar graduated with highest honors, which enabled him to get
admission to Harvard with scholarships.
Lee was first in her Navy Hospital Corpsman Class. She entered the Navy XRay School and served three Navy years as X-Ray technician at Chelsea Navy
Hospital at Newport, Rhode Island. After her discharge from the service
during the Korean War, Lee worked as a lab tech at Bostons Peter Bent
Brigham Hospital in research.
Their first home was in the vast attic in an old Quaker meeting house in
Roxbury. Lee and Oscar spent three and a half years together she as the
provider and Oscar, a full time student of history and religion and an assistant
minister at St. Mark Congregational Church that owned the meeting house. He
claims that she was the breadwinner. She put Oscar through Harvard for four
years and two degrees. In June 1953, Oscar received from the Cambridge, MA
University the S.T.B. from Divinity School and a year later the M.A.T. degree
in social science from the Harvard Graduation School of Education.
In 1954, Oscar accepted position as a dean and registrar at Natchez Junior
College in his hometown. Lee joined him in 1955 on the faculty teaching
science. A music teacher, Sarah Booker Turner, at Tougaloo College
recommended Oscar to her brother Attorney Booker of Littlerock, Arkansas,
who chaired a search committee seeking a replacement of the president of
Arkansas Baptist College. In 1956, Oscar became president of Arkansas
Baptist College (1956 1959). Lee began her first role as the first lady of a
historic Black College, taught college science, and gave birth to their eldest
son, Christopher Allan. In 1958, Oscar received a General Education
Foundation doctoral fellowship to enroll at the University of Arkansas. They
continued their education at the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville. Lee
enrolled in the masters program in bacteriology, while raising their two year
old son. In 1960, Oscar was awarded the Doctor of Education degree in social
science and college administration.
Insisting that her children live near and learn to know her father, Jefferson O.
Lewis, (a long time employee of Tougaloo College), Lee became a science
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Mandakini Hiremath
teacher for the Jackson Public School, and Oscar accepted position at Jackson
State College as Dean of Students and professor of social science, from 1960
to 1968.
During 1968 1969, the couple, three sons, Christopher Allan, Christian
Shawn, and Christoff Ian, and Tippy their dog studied at the University of
Washington. Teaching science, Lee earned her M.S., while Oscar engaged in
research.
In 1969, Rogerss crew returned to Jackson. Lee returned to public school
teaching. Producing two theses, one about attitudes and the latter in a sex
education course for public schools, in 1974, she earned a specialist degree
certification in science. Oscar employed at Jackson State as dean of the
Graduate School, a position he held for 15 years. For 22 years, the Rogers five
journeyed to Asbury United Methodist Church at Bolton and to Kingsley
Chapel United Methodist Church at Edwards. He was the pastor, and Lee and
the sons were pew fillers.
In 1984, Lee and the youngest son, Christoff,
Ian, followed Oscar to Orangeburg, South
Carolina. Oscar served 10 years as the 7th
president of Claflin College and Lee accepted the
role of the first lady, served as a director of
computer science laboratory and taught math and
science. In addition, she involved herself with
promoting enrollment activities and fund raising,
and devised a nontraditional students program
that impacted the Colleges enrollment and
bottom line.
Please note that this tribute does not enlist Dr.

Rogerss accomplishments as Claflins
president. Claflins more official history has
already done so.
After retiring in 1994, Dr. Rogers returned to
Jackson, Mississippi, to join his beloved wife,
Mrs. Ethel Lee Rogers, who had retired a
year earlier to take care of her aging father.
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Mandakini Hiremath
In 1992, Claflin College bestowed emeritus status on Dr. Oscar Allan Rogers,
Jr., and Oklahoma City University awarded him the Doctor of Humane
Letters, citing his work at Claflin College and in the United Methodist
Church.
In early December 2000, Dr. Rogers came to Orangeburg, South Carolina to
visit. He was the 131st Claflin Homecoming Parade Marshall. Dr. Rogers
wrote in that years holiday greetings My dear friends letter, It was great to
return after six years. Lee and I spent 10 fruitful years there from 1984 to
1994. President and Mrs. Henry Tisdale are some team! The old Claflin is
no more. Thanks to their teamwork. I thank them for their gracious
invitation.
Note: When you notice accomplished successful people and how comfortable
a life they have been living, you naturally assume that they must have been
born with a silver spoon in their mouth and all the perks must have been
handed over to them on a silver platter. In reality, most of their stories are
quite the opposite. They are self-made individuals. This assumption exists
only until you come to know about the real story of hard work, commitment,
and perseverance involved behind their present status. Dr. Rogers wanted to
inspire and encourage others by his example how worthwhile all the hard
work, struggle and heartache, were in reaching the desired destination. Their
perseverance allowed them to stand tall, to lead and live life contentedly.
We all have heard the saying, Life is not a bed of roses! I wonder,
whoever said that, if he thought of roses free of thorns.
Keeping busy after retirement

As it is said, Retirement is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and
by bedtime having done only half of it. After retiring, Dr. and Mrs. Rogers
didnt just sit in a rocking chair. Their holiday greeting letters illustrate how
actively they were involved with their church, alma mater, and community.
Moreover, Dr. Rogers kept himself busy academically.
In 2002 he wrote,
Much of the year was spent in revisiting Mississippi: The View
from Tougaloo, a civil rights flavored book, Dr. Clarice Campbell and
I published in 1978. Twenty-three years makes quite a difference. .
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Mandakini Hiremath
Dr. Campbell, in her nineties, died this year. Her desire was that The
View be republished and if possible brought up to date. I, therefore,
was able to sketch outlines of Tougaloos continued endeavors to
make a difference in the lives of her alumni and their families, not
only in Mississippi but also globally. H. T. Drake, a former national
alumni president and our associates provided several thousand dollars
toward this effort. Thus, we expect to distribute the revised edition this
winter.
In 2003, Dr. Rogers wrote that he and Mrs. Rogers journeyed to Harvard
Divinity School. It was his 50th graduation reunion. He was awarded The
Rabbi Martin Katzenstein Award for 2003. The citation read:
The Rabbi Martin Katzenstein Award, established in
1979, honors one who exhibits a passionate and helpful
interest in the lives of other people, and informed and
realistic faithfulness, and embodiment of the idea that
love is not so much a way of feeling as a way of acting,
and a reliable sense of humor.
He added, Lee is busy with weekly Bible study. Oscar is busy editing
three works, confusing and mixing up narratives. He is excited about his
assignment to write Leadership to Improve Human Condition: The
Documentary History of the Multi-Racial Utica Chapter, Phi Delta Kappa
Association 1961-2004.
In December 2004, Dr. Rogers wrote, Oscar finished the encyclopedic work
entitled To Improve Human Condition: The Documentary History of the
Multi-Racial Utica Chapter, Phi Delta Kappa Association 1961-2004. He is
now trying to complete the ten year effort to chronicle the 50 years history of
graduate education for Blacks in his beloved State. And he reminded the
readers, Prior to 1953, we could not violate with impunity legal segregation.
Dr. Rogers writings about their health were touched with a sense of humor.
In December 2002, he wrote, Reasonable good health is possessed by all of
us at the time I pen this, although Lee was seriously ill during February.
Skillful medical leaders saved her. I started eating frozen food and ended up
with the Rogers protruded abdomen. My rustic doctor told me to water the
groceries. I am really obeying him and others who wish me well. RIGHT!
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Mandakini Hiremath
In 2004, Wednesday before Thanksgiving Mrs. Rogers had her left hip
replaced with much complication. Thus, he wrote, Oscar is promoting her as
The Hip Replacement Poster Woman. We all had a hearty laugh.
And in 2005, he wrote,
Last year we were most concerned about Lee and her million dollar
hip replacement No! Not really $1,000,000 but it seems like too
much to endure in terms of worry other than money. Lee faces blood
clots with any surgery. Thank be to God we are able this year to savor
54 years of marriage 3 sons and 4 grandchildren.
When we friends talked about this letter, everybody agreed that how Dr.
Roger must have faced Mrs. Rogers raised eyebrows when she realized his
mention about her hip replacement surgery. However, they were such a good
team. Mrs. Rogers was especially candid and motherly. Many faculty
members talked about their complaints and how displeased they were about
the administration. She used to hear them quietly and used to tell them it helps
to talk it out. During any assembly or functions, she always sat among us. She
refused to sit on the podium, saying that she didnt want to be tied up. And
when it was her turn to meet her obligation on the program, she would stand
up change her footwear, for these occasions, she used to carry a pair of high
heels with her, and walk over to the podium just to fulfill her duties.
In addition to other details, each year Dr. Rogers mentioned being in
reasonably good health. However, in 2005, he wrote,
Lee and Oscar support an array of physicians. If only Hillary had
been given a chance in the 90s! Oscar yearns for the new deal and
even the fair deal,
We were reminded of his peculiar style.
In 2006, Dr. Rogers wrote,
We are growing old gratefully approaching four scores of living
and fifty years of family building, three sons and four grands. We owe
all to God! Active in our local church, providing leadership in our
community and in national government as willing taxpayers, we send
you our appreciation and prayers.
The other day someone asked me, What do you remember the most about
Dr. Rogers? My impromptu answer was, his simplicity and sense of
humor.
While talking about recruiting, Dr. Rogers said that recruiting committee
members should mention to prospective students that Claflin is populated with
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Mandakini Hiremath
plenty of attractive young men and women. Over the years, many alumni have
caught their partners for life at Claflin and are living happily ever after.
I remember one early morning when I was walking towards my office in
Grace Thomas Kennedy building, I saw a group of Claflinites watching Dr.
Rogers chasing a student on the lawn. I learned that when the president had
said to the student, Young man, dont walk on the grass, the student started
running on the grass away from him, so our President was out to catch the
student. I never forgot this incident. Even today if perchance I step on a grass,
I immediately step back on the side walk. After all these years, I still feel like
Dr. Rogers is watching my misstep. Thus, as I walk on campus, Dr. Rogers
presence persists.
He was always accessible to students. They could stop him on the way
across campus to talk or ask any questions. On the other hand, if on the way
he saw any student misbehaving, he would tell that student to straighten up. If
he noticed someone walking with untied shoelaces, he would stop to ask,
Young man / lady tie your shoelaces. He always reminded the Claflin
family that we were responsible to see that our students dressed properly and
behaved decently.
Dr. Rogers complemented his instructions by examples. In faculty
meetings, Dr. Rogers always asked everyone to take their duties seriously and
perform those religiously, even though their supervisors are not watching
them. Once he told us that after midnight he had driven to the campus. When
he was driving through the gate, the security officer, sitting with a magazine
covering his face, didnt move to check who was passing through. So Dr.
Roger got out of his car and stepped into the security booth. The officer on
duty was clearly dozing. Since the magazine the man was behind was upside
down, Dr. Rogers straightened it up. The startled officer stood up and blurted,
Excuse me, sir. When someone asked Mrs. Rogers, who was sitting among
us, if Dr. Rogers really came to the campus after midnight, she just shrugged.
In a faculty meeting talking about fiscal accountability and how Claflin
pays thousands of dollars in utility bills per month, he mentioned how one
night he walked into the Bowen Hall Computer Lab and saw the facility was
lit like a Christmas tree, all 50 computers flashing light, the lab assistant
snacking and watching her portable TV, and no student present to study. He
always, as President Tisdale has been reminding us, urged us to turn off the
equipment and lights that are not in use. Let us respect and honor Dr. Rogerss
memory by renewing our pledge to stop wasting energy, not to leave lights
and equipment on when they are not in use and water running in the
restrooms, or drag the toilet paper all around.
To conclude, as I review my tribute to Dr. Oscar Allan Rogers, Jr., and
reflect on how actively involved he was in academics and church, making a
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Mandakini Hiremath
difference in the community, I cant help but wonder if his thoughts in the end
were Because I could not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me.
To love and cherish

Dr. and Mrs. Rogers marriage has endured for 60 years and added to that,
lest we forget, 4 years of courtship. They were blessed with three sons, five
grandchildren, and one great grandchild. A few of our old friends were aware
that Dr. and Mrs. Rogers were in touch with us, so each yearend after
holidays, they habitually enquired about Dr. Rogers and family. On such an
event in Jan. 2006, when I had mentioned them that five days before
Christmas Dr. and Mrs. Rogers observed their 55th wedding anniversary, one
immediately had said, She must be a saint.
To quench such some friends curiosity, when I asked about the secret of
their long-lasting marriage, Dr. Rogers said, There is really no secret to long
marriages. However, Mrs. Rogers wrote, Oscar believes in love as both a
feeling and action. He entered a marriage 58 years ago with his eyes wide
open. He was a believer in oaths to love and cherish until death do us part.
He says, and remained convinced that what St. Paul so profoundly expressed
to the inhabitants at Corinth. Moreover, the Ink Spot trio of the 1940s offered
in their hit song: Do nothing until you hear it from me and you never will!
Oscar equates marriage in the sense that his church history professor related:
Omega churches should break-up. Small churches allow better participation in
sundry roles. However, marriages should never ever. Oscar is highly satisfied
with marriage long lasting bondage.
When asked about his greatest achievement, the one thing he is most proud
about, Dr. Rogers wrote, Oscar is very pleased with the many lives he shaped
at all levels of human growth, but more so when it comes to the promotion of
graduate work. He literally impacted the black middle class. Their graduate
degrees enabled them to earn higher income. He assisted college and
university enrollees to join his thinking and advocacy that a high school
diploma is not enough; that one, two, three and four years of formal study
above is the right goal achievement; however, graduate degrees are par
excellence a mans reach should exceed his grasp or what is heaven for?
Consider the string of good living Oscar and Lee have had: Lots of money,
lots of friends, and lots of helping and assisting so many youth and elders
and in return blessed beyond measures by their good will and friendships.
Talking about the regrets, he said that Oscars only disappointment in his sons
721
Mandakini Hiremath
and grandchildren was that they did not adhere to fundamental values of hard
work, study and promotion of family life and family history.
When I asked the best piece of advice he would like to offer to the Claflin
family and may be in general to the people in Orangeburg whom he loves and
those who respect and love him back, Dr. Rogers, complimenting me for my
standing firmly through ordeal and my children how their hard work and
perseverance have come to fruition and turned them into respectful citizens
and productive members of the society, responded, Orangeburg and her
diversified community should hold on and continue to promote their apparent
virtues and the good life, and there certainly has been a good life expanding to
all segments. Continue the Orangeburg warmth and hospitality more
churches of all sizes. There exist more good people in Orangeburg than bad
people family life and helping hands are high marks of Orangeburg. Just
keep on keeping on.
And then he added, I am so surprised that we convinced so many people
in Mississippi, Arkansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Kentucky, South Carolina
and Washington State of my vision of the gospel and education. My associates
have made life better for so many.
Though saddened, I couldnt help but ask Dr. Rogers how the untimely
death of his son, Christopher Allan, had affected him and if it had changed his
perspective about life. Dr. Rogers response was that the death of their first
born affected him in terms of disappointment He felt that Chris was smarter
than his daddy. His opportunities were many and he utilized them. His daddy
only wished he could have lived longer to continue sharing his many gifts and
talents. His death reaffirms my belief that often to possess and to produce a
lover, has to let the loved one set his goals because only then can the loved
fulfill his highest good. Death is so final, added Dr. Rogers.
When asked if there are any regrets and if he were given a chance what he
would like to mend, Dr. Rogers responded, I would not change. It has been a
great journey of 80 years, well worth making once. Only regret that 80 years
are not enough. He hoped others will pick up where he left off; so much to
know learn so much is lost at death, he opined.
Dr. Rogers statement above reminded me of his writing in his December
2008 holiday greetings, just a few months after the death of their eldest son,
Christopher Allan Rogers. After thanking those who offered a variety of
comforting prayers and gifts, Dr. Rogers wrote, When we consider Gods
blessings in light of the progress and the changes that have occurred during
our eight decades of existence, our thoughts brought us to encounter the desire
to be around the next group of years just to see the technological and moral
outcomes. Looking back at our lives and remembering the lack of plumbing,
central heating, air, electricity, the emerging super market and racial
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Mandakini Hiremath
discrimination, we realize what a difference a generation or two make! We

have witnessed human redemption. How great it is to be alive today. Each
year we meet great worlds wonders. Oh what great marvels are yet to be! .
We crave to have part in it! The anticipation raises our deepest hope and
faith.
He continued, We understand (somewhat better) Goethes Fausts lofty
anguished cry for one moment in life, which would cause him to desire its
continuance. Faust (a student of all knowledge) strongly desired experience so
profound that he would wish it to endure. It seems that our present
generation, especially our young families and their youth, also need to realize
that life is worth living when its creative. Regardless of mistakes in their lives
(and there will be mistakes) they are to remain aware of goodness and truth. A
good dose of life lessons found in Job, Ecclesiastes and Faust is demanded for
present and future generations of our colleagues, our children and their
children. Because life is a spiritual encounter, we close with Madame Guyons
summation,
No bliss Ill seek, but to fulfill
In life, in death, Thy perfect will!
No succor in my woes I want
But what my Lord is pleased to grant.
Previously in 2002, along with all the formal matters, Dr. Rogers had written,
This year we experienced more than ever deaths. Many were
exceptional leaders, social activists, and family heads. I guess
because I am 73 years of age, I gave considerable thought to death.
Further Dr. Rogers reflected on Dean Sperry, who had cancer, and
what he had told to his small class was indeed profound then, some 48
years ago, and remembered how the dean often pointed out that hills,
mountains, and trees would out last us! O death, where is thy sting? O
grave, where is thy victory?
It is true that as years pass by, the number of memorial services, paying
tributes and saying goodbyes seems to be increasing. I remember in Dr.
Rogerss era, we attended an only one memorial service that was held for a
young Claflin staff. She was just in her late thirties. The Claflin family was
deeply saddened and shocked by her sudden untimely death. At her memorial
service, I remember Dr. Rogers saying that death is friendly and welcomed
when one is old, worn-out with aches and pains and doesnt want to prolong
life any longer. But that lady was too young to die. Her death was a cruel one.
I hope Death was friendly to Dr. Rogers.
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Mandakini Hiremath
May Dr. Oscar Allan Rogers, Jr.s soul rest in peace. May God bless Mrs.
Ethel Lee Rogers and family. May they be comforted by the Heavenly
Fathers loving, healing power filled with grace and blessed with strength to
endure the loss.
*****
Now, sadly, I add to the tribute (which was done in September, 2011) that
Mrs. Ethel Lee Rogers died in October, 2014.
Mrs. Rogers the former first lady of Claflin University, wife of the late
president Dr. Oscar Allan Rogers, addressed each of her students as lord or
lady. She was a popular professor, advisor, mentor, and a cheerful
encouraging motherly figure. She served the community and made a
difference by generously sharing her gifts and talents. Now, she is no more.
May Mrs. Rogers soul rest in peace.

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BOOK OF COLUMNS

I hope a variety of human interest readings presented in this book

Contents by Genre and Theme

30. Feedback means a lot to writers .......................................80

69. Growth is evidence of life ................................................165

6. Judas, so-called villain ........................................................ 309

10. Prefer to be a skeptic. 454

September 11, 2001

Election and Politics

Faith and Festivals

3. Deepavali, kindle a lamp of love with your life ................. 512

Various Festivals and Spiritual Columns

3. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

The Royals and Birthdays

pages 244 - 264

Faith and Festivals

pages 495 - 507

The Royals and Birthdays

pages 612 - 629

pages 631 - 649

pages 676 - 687

pages 689 - 723

Note: My website: https://hiremathcolumns.wordpress.com has been up and

Self-respect is the key word

An element of chance: Long, bitter journey

Politics always had intrigued him, so he ran for governor of Massachusetts;

Performing your duty

Split the baby in nine

The sweet old days

American idle or idol?

Cell phone courtesy

Even though we prohibit their cell phone conversation, phone-rings dont

Balance between positive and negative

Choking game, deadly consequences

If life offers you lemons

'Tell them that we lost Peter'

conquered the world of business, he would conquer his illness, caused by a

Before the dawn

The man who conned Oprah

What really counts?

As I reflected on the television news that broadcast Muhammad Ali's two

Figure skating reflections

Though not a sports fanatic, I am always intrigued by figure skating. It's an

Better late than never

The dawn of July 1

Living life in 2,000 A.D.

Today, feeling inspired to write, I came to work; however, I had no clue

psychological lift. Mail and newspapers will be reproduced instantly

Did you hear?

By helping immunize and save millions of children, the Gates Foundation

Perseverance, a character trait for October

Choosing your words

A drop in the bucket; its worth it

As we returned to begin the new academic year, sweltering summer was

2004 ice storm -- plane crash in the Andes

Times surely have changed

Feedback means a lot to writers

looked at him questioningly, he plainly said, "Oh! I mean your columns. I

PS: I have featured Ashley Capers in my column entitled A little complaining

The Blue Moon

Honor and integrity

A while ago, I watched a news segment about an eighty-two-year-old man

Buckle in with a bit of a grin

Calvin Coolidge asserts the omnipotence of persistence and determination: