G U A R A N I News

Paraguays Only English Weekly Magazine

Founded on 21 October 1982
Sent FREE through E-Mail as a Bulletin since January 2001

Published/Edited by Norman M. Langer

N 249. Friday, September 23, 2005

Our Cellular Telephone Number: for international calls
+(595-991) 724.217
for local calls 0991-724.217
CONTENTS
From the Publisher
People in the News - Coming Events Sports - Church Notices
News from France French archaeologist solves ancient mystery
Japan Today New mountain
The Humour Corner by Eduardo Teddy Abello & Donald Sym Smith
A wee bit of Memorabilia
Preview contents: Our First 22 Years and A History of 300 Luncheons
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All rights reserved. No part of GUARANI NEWS may be reproduced without permission from the
Publisher. Opinions expressed by named authors do not necessarily coincide with those of the
Editor. The Editor will review any submission; however no responsibility is assumed for materials
submitted. If you wish to be removed from our listing, send E-mail to stranger@highway.com.py with the
title REMOVE and accept our apologies.

From the Publisher

Getting to be obnoxious
I am just about ready to throw my computer out of the window, or at least that
component that deals with incoming e-mail. There is not a day that goes by in which I
do not receive letters, not only from unknown persons, but also filled with the most
obnoxious offers that includes such items as how I can increase the size of my dingo,
lay more birds (the featherless type), certain types of pills that enhance my manhood,
etc., etc.
Seeing as I am past 70, live alone, still straight, I can only shudder at the thought that
comes to mind when such offers reach an owner of a computers that is handled by their
teenage off-spring. It is high time that some international Law can be brought to stop
such drivel, for such misguided porno can only increase an already sorry state of affairs
when added to the ever rampant use of drugs, terrorism and crime in general.
I never learn
There are several events I can do without, funerals and weddings, just to mention two
items high on my list of no show. On the other hand, certain events I cant live
without: operas, concerts and (on the lighter) side let me include sporting events.
So when I received an invite to attend the 7th Gala Concert, sponsored by the
Minister of Education and Culture, Mrs. Blanca Ovelar de Duarte, to be performed by
the National Symphony Orchestra under the Argentine Director Pedro Ignacio Caldern,
that included the well-known violin player Hayde Francia (also Argentine) I skipped
the cocktail party hosted by the Mexican Ambassador who was celebrating his countrys

2
National Independence after all, I had not been invited I made an early appearance
at the Grand Theatre of the Paraguayan Central Bank.
So far so good, the Modern Grand Theatre seats just over 1,300 persons and has a
huge stage, which on this occasion was to have performing no less than 100 musicians,
41 of them being violinists, and miraculously the concert started four minutes after the
scheduled time. Oh what joy!
But then all fell apart. Rossinis Overture of the Barber of Seville started well
enough, although I did notice that the alignment of the front row of violinists were quite
in front (even though there was plenty of space to have moved them back, so that they
could visualize the conductor) when my concentration and enjoyment were rudely
interrupted by late comers. To make matters worse, late comers were still coming in an
hour after, making me lose all interest in the Argentine violin soloist performance of
Henry Wieniawskis N 2 Concert in re Minor, Op. 22.
To make matters worse, if that were possible, and Paraguayans it seems can be relied
to do so, a ten minute interval was given before we all sat down to listen to Ludwig Van
Beethovens N 2 Symphony in D Major which meant a good part of the public I
noticed a good number of small youngsters, some cradled in mums arms started
returning during the performance, abetted of course with the mewling and puking (no
diatribe from Shakespeares As You Like It) of said infants.
All we were therefore short of was for some bloke to go up and down the aisles
yelling helados, caramelos, bombones Im sure he would have made a bomb and
needless to say, thats my last Symphonic Concert until I am sent to the one really big
one that Ive been told plays under St. Peters baton.
Hot potatoes
Although there are now only four weeks still to go before the Strangers Club 300 th
Luncheon, scheduled for Wednesday 19 October, those intending to attend had better
pull up their socks if they hope to find a seat just take a quick glance below at the fast
growing list of confirmations and youll know I at not pulling your leg.
The list of Honorary Life Membership has been increased to 19 and they will be
receiving a Club engraved tile especially designed for the occasion.
Spicing the event, I can confirm that the free raffle of TWO pairs of 7 nights 8
days holiday being offered by the world famous Swiss Royal Holiday, will entitle
winners to pick from such exotic places such as Punta Cana (Dominican Republic),
Puerto Vallarta, Cancn and Istapa in Mexico or Punta del Este (Uruguay), Barriloche
and Buenos Aires (Argentina).
The Messrs. Diego O. Filarte (International Sales Executive) and Sebastin Arena
((Uruguayan Manager) of Royal Holiday will be presenting the Certificates to the lucky
winners at the end of the luncheon.
According to Royal Holiday President Mr. John Siegenthaler, his company has over
44,000 members world-wide that take their holidays in no less than 52 countries. Royal
Holiday was founded over 20 years ago and although the original vacation ownership
concept, which is what they offer, was already in existence when they started up, has
been completely transformed by them when they added two key words to their
programsFreedom and Flexibility.
So here is wishing you all a most enjoyable weekend in your backyard
We know about Internet!
HIGHWAY INTERNET- Grupo Aventura.com
www.aventura.com.py
info@highway.com.py
Tel.662-609

3
PEOPLE in the NEWS NOTICES - SPORTS - COMING EVENTS
BIRTHDAYS

24
25
27
28
30

- SEPTEMBER

MORINIGO, Gerardo
GUARDIA ALVARADO, HE Fernando (Ambassador of Costa Rica)
MORENO ROMO de ARCE, Antonio (a stalwart Sprungback R.F.C.)
dos SANTOS, HE Ral (former Ambassador to Great Britain)
FRASER, Dennis (a stalwart Old Philomathian)

LUNCHEONS
Seats are getting to be really scarce weve reached 4 bakers dozen

Strangers Club 300th Luncheon at Chaco Hotel

The Strangers Club Asuncin will be holding their much-awaited 300th Luncheon on
WEDNESDAY, 19 OCTOBER at the Chaco Hotel commencing at 12:45 a.m.
Guest Speaker on this occasion will be HE Valter Pecly Moreira, Ambassador of
Brazil.
The meal will be served punctually at 1 p.m. Admission is limited to 68 persons, each
one to receive a unique remembrance mug and as a special treat there will be a FREE
raffle of TWO pairs of 7 nights and 8 days holiday packages (meals included, airfare
extra) at one of the famous Royal Holiday destinations (see above: Hot potatoes)).
Club-engraved glass plaques will be presented to various members on having attended
25 and 50 luncheons.
And to make the event the most memorable of all 300 to date, Mr. Langer will be
presenting an Honorary Life Memberships to H.E. Fernando Guardia, Ambassador of
Costa Rica; John Vibart OBE, Headmaster St. Albans College and Life Memberships
to the following for having supported the Club during the past 22 years: Dr. Guillermo
Peroni, Honorary Consul of Great Britain and North Ireland; Peter Logan; Juan Jos
Bentez Rickmann, Honorary Consul of Costa Rica; Bruno Sapatino PhD; Dr. Carlos
Gwynn; Hartwig Thees our Camp Member from Encarnacin; Carlos Cazenave;
Tefilo Stegens; Vicente Ramrez; Marcelo Zuccolillo; Juan Berthomier; Oscar
Birks; Alejandro Mainero; Col. Ernesto Oviedo; Dennis Fraser, Rodrigo Wood and
John Helmfelt as the Honorary Life Treasurer.
Members Gs. 70,000 Non-Members Gs. 100,000 (Wines included during the meal)
Confirmations
a.s.a.p.
by
phone:
0991-724-217
or
by
e-mail
to
stranger@highway.com.py
Received confirmations include, apart of those mentioned above: HE Dido Florentin
Bogado; HE Ral dos Santos, former Ambassador to Great Britain; Mr. Hctor
Dellepiane, Charg dAffairs Argentine Embassy; Vladimir Ionescu, Honorary Consul
of Rumania; Ral Baginski, Chairman Foro do Brasil and Honorary Consul of
Portugal; Pedro Siemens from the Chaco; Federico Lewkowitz and a guest; Eng.
Evandro Puggina M.S.I.E.; Mariano Canova, Director/Manager Chaco Hotel; Jorge
Aguirre, Foreign Trade Consultant; Judge Mara Antonia Gwynn; Mrs. Martha
Fraser; Mrs. Janine Patterson, Director Dervish Publications; Mrs. Mara Ins
Robles de Berkemeyer; Jorge Aguirre, Foreign Trade Consultant; Flix Ugarte and
Mrs. Divina Ayala of the Commercial Sector French Embassy; Mrs. Margarita du
Guerny; Architect Guillermo Hellmers and Mrs. Gilda Hellmers; Eng. Oscar
Salazar; Prof. Dr. Jos Zanardini; Henry Bergern; Alexander Neuendorff; Eng.
Luis O. Boettner; Martin Romano Garca, Chairman Big Manzana; Axel Semm and
first timers: Sebastin Arena and Diego O. Filardi (who, by the way, will be
presenting the Certificates for the TWO Couples free holiday raffle at the end of the
meal). Hopefully too, all the way from Oslo, Norway: Elizabeth and Viggo Friling!!

JAPAN s Cultural Program in Asuncin

The Japanese Embassy in Asuncin, the Paraguayan Association of Cinema Critics, the
Paraguayan-Japanese centre and Paraguayan-Japanese Association hereby invite you,
with free admission, to the following films to be shown at the Paraguayan-Japanese
Centre Theatre (Julio Correa and Domingo Portillo in Villa Guaran) on the following
dates:
Monday, 26 September at 6 p.m. Chibi Maruko Chan Dibujos Animados (94
minute).
Monday, 3 October at 6 p.m. Cculo de Aprendizaje (122 minutes) and at 8 p.m.
Una Clase para recordar: Otra Historia Escolar (128 minutes).
BONSAI (miniature trees) Exhibition
Inauguration: Tuesday, 27 September at 7.30 p.m. Exposition Hall in ParaguayanJapanese Centre.
The exhibition will remain open from Wednesday 28 to Thursday 29 September from
9 to 12 a.m. and from 3 to 9 p.m. Free admission.
JAPANESE COOKING Demonstration
Monday, 10 and 17 October from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. by Professor Atsuka Iwasaka,
Senior Volunteer with JICA.
CHANOYU (Tea Ceremony) - Demonstration
Thursday, 13 October from 3 to 5 p.m. by Mrs Elena Masaoka.
We recommend you contact the Cultural Office of the Japanese Embassy for more
details and tickets, some events have limited access. Phone: 607.275 from 8 to 12 a.m.
and 3 to 6 p.m. Monday to Friday.
JAPANESE STUDY GRANTS
An informal talk will be held at the Paraguayan-Japanese centre on Wednesday, 19
October commencing at 7 p.m.
SHODO (Japanese Calligraphy) Demonstration
Saturday, 22 October commencing at 6 p.m. under the guidance of Professor Shinda
Horikawa.
BON-ODORI (Popular Japanese Summer Dance) FESTIVAL
Saturday, 22 October commencing at 7 p.m. in the Amphitheatre of the ParaguayanJapanese Centre.

BCC (British Community Council)

SUNDAY, 20th NOVEMBER
AFTERNOON at the RACES - at the Hipodromo from 1 p.m.
SATURDAY, 10th DECEMBER
CHRISTMAS DINNER - at the home of Cord and Margarita Kelly, Hassler 438 (to be
confirmed)
End of January 2006
BURNSNIGHT - at the home of Guillermo Peroni or the home of Charles and Camilla
ONeill (to be confirmed)
Maps, travel-guide books, postcards and CD Roms on Paraguay
For more details and information contact: Distribuidora Meier through
E-Mail: lotharst@rieder.net.py or Telefax (595-21) 301-084

5
CHURCH NOTICES
ST. ANDREWS ANGLICAN CHURCH - Avda. Espaa 1357 (near corner of
General Santos) Services in English every Sunday at 10:00 a.m. For further information,
contact the Diocesan Office Tel. 200-933.
CATHOLIC MASS IN ENGLISH
Chapel of the Fathers of the Oblates of Mary Immaculate. Quesada 4365 c/McArthur .
Behind what used to be Diario HOY). Every Sunday at 10:30 am.
Chaplain: Reverend. Robert Hopwood, C.S.S.R
.
Your Home away from Home whilst in Asuncin
Hotel WESTFALENHAUS
Tel. (021) 293-374 E-Mail: hotel@westfalenhaus.com
Homepage: http://www.english.westfalenhaus.com - http://www.paraguay-hotel.com http://www.paraguay-search.com - http://www.paraguay-travel.de

News from France

French archaeologist solves ancient mystery
After 25 years of dedicated labour, French archaeologist Jean-Claude Margueron has
solved the mystery surrounding the construction of Mari, one of the first modern
cities in human history. Located in modern day Syria, Mari was constructed in the third
millennium B.C. Unlike most cities of its time, which developed from villages in
trading posts, Mari was designed expressly as a city from the start. Archaeologists were
puzzled as to how this city, located in the middle of the desert and in a valley devastated
by the floods of the Euphrates, could develop and flourish. Through meticulous
research, Margueron reveals the answer in his new book, Mari, the Metropolis of the
Euphrates.
The ancient Mesopotamian city was originally discovered by Marguerons
predecessor, Andre Parrot, in 1933. By the time Margueron became director of
excavations in 1979, many of the spectacular artefacts had already been discovered. The
question of why Mari was built, however, remained a mystery.
Little by little, archaeologists realized that Mari was a major centre of metallurgy,
where the production of arms and tools was a thriving industry. The supply of copper
and wood used in metallurgical production came from the Taurus Mountains, which
were connected to the city by a canal. The remains of an irrigation channel and another
canal, which protected the city from flooding and allowed large boats to enter, were also
discovered. Because Mari was conveniently located between the east and the
Mediterranean and between the north and south of Mesopotamia, the city flourished,
and its inhabitants left behind innumerable riches for archaeologists to discover.
Source: News from France
NEXT ISSUE: Affordable housing for low-income families
U.S.A.F. trained electronics handyman
BILLS ELECTRONICS
Specialising in: Computers, communications Audio & Video Equipment Servicing,
Repair and Installation - Tel. 942-844 Cellular: 0981-441-924

JAPAN TODAY
New Mountain
A new mountain has appeared in Moerenuma Park in Sapporo, Hokkaido, attracting
many devoted local mountaineers. The 184-hectare park, which is surrounded by
waterfront property, is well known as the work of world-famous sculptor Isamu
Noguchi. He designed the park as one gigantic sculpture, and the 62-meter-high
mountain, called Mt. Moere-yama, is a climbable part of his sculpture.
The mountain is made of earth from construction sites and un-burnable garbage, so it
has a clear ecological message that waste should not just be dumped to litter the
countryside. It takes about ten minutes to climb, and has become very popular as a
viewpoint to see the distant Sapporo skyline.
Source: Asia-Pacific Perspective
Next issue: Smart motoring
TRIGO DEL SUR
English run B and B. Lovely house, pool, garden, a/c, and very reasonable rates.
Tel: 602-389 or e-mail joepeacock2001@yahoo.com
The Humour Corner by Eduardo Teddy Abello and Donald Sym SmithThe
following was sent to us by Jorge Zappa. In his youth, Jorge worked for Braniff
although now he is a chemical engineer and president of a fishing company in Madryn.
Aerial Antics
Here are some reasons to listen to Channel 9 while sitting on United Flights...you could
spend the entire flight laughing. Hope these put a smile on your face... They are actual
Air Traffic Control Exchanges from various sources:
1.
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles."
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
2.
"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.
"Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
2.
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
3.
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one
o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in
sight."
4.
A DC-10 had come in a little fast and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after
touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway,
if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a
right at the lights and return to the airport."

7
5.
A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English.
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why
must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost
the bloody war."
6.
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active
runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied
back past the Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
"What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I
made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for
another one."
7.
German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They
not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without
any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747)
listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British
Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt , Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to
Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, and I didn't land."
8.
While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft.
Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
An irate female ATC ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US
Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway!
You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the
difference between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed
crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up!
It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to!
You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go
exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air
2771?"
"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control
communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771.
Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of
mind.
Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an
unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking "Wasn't I married to
you once?"

8
When intending a visit to Asuncin, we recommend you stay at the
HOTEL CHACO
Caballero / Mcal. Estigarribia - Tel. 492-066 E-mail: info@hotelchaco.com.py
A wee bit of Memorabilia
23 September
Freud died 1939
24 September
Horace Walpole was born 1717
25 September
Stamford bridge 1066. Shostakovich was born 1906
26 September
Sir Barnes Wallis was born 1887. T.S.Eliot was born 1888
27 September
Edward II died 1327. Bossuet was born 1627
28 September
Caravaggio was born 1573. Clemenceau was born 1841
29 September
Lord Nelson was born 1758
Wooden Trophies Lapel Pins Cups Medals Company Gifts
MADERA & METAL
Caballero 691 - Tel. 490-776 Web Site: www.maderaymetal.com.py

UNIQUE CD SOUVENIR of the

Strangers Club First 22 Years and A History of 300 Luncheons
A CD of Our First 22 Years and A History of 300 Luncheons can now be
purchased at the pre-publication price of: Strangers Club Members us$ 10 NonMembers us$ 15. Payment can be made to either the Clubs Honorary Treasurer Mr.
John Helmefelt or Club Founder/Chairman Norman M. Langer.
Overseas orders please contact: Distribuidora Meier through E-Mail:
lotharst@rieder.net.py or Telefax (595-21) 301-084
NOTE: The CDs will now be launched at the Strangers Club 301st Luncheon to be
held at the Chaco Hotel in November.
A preview of the Contents include:
CHAPTER I
PREFACE by John Vibart OBE. A word from our Founder - Norman M. Langer. A
word from our Honorary Chairman - HE Dido Florentin Bogado. A word from H.E.
Fernando Guardia Alvarado, Ambassador of Costa Rica. A word from our Major
Sponsors, Mr. Charles ONeill, Director Lloyds TSB, Paraguay, Ms. Janine Patterson,
Director Dervish Publications.
First Honorary Club Chairman - Honorary Life Members - Our Past and Present
Members. Our First Luncheon. Our Ladies Luncheons. Our Old Georgian Dinners. Our
Stammtisch Dinners. Our one and only Spring Ball. Our First premises.
CHAPTER II A Diary of 22 Years
Our Squash Tournaments. Our Cricket Matches against Turtles XI (Argentina). Our
Picture Exhibition. Our Painting Exhibitions. Our Backgammon Tournament. Our Poker
Tournament. Our Darts Tournament. Our International Ten-Pin Bowling Tournament.
CHAPTER III Highlights and Pictures of our 300 Luncheons
Statistics - 300 Luncheons The Whos Who of the close to 1,500 Luncheon attendees.
Receivers of our Club 25 - 50 - 100 -150 Luncheon plaques.
CHAPTER IV
Miscellaneous Highlights: Our Founders 200 Trophies in Ten-Pin Bowling; Strangers
Club sponsors First A.P.Cs. International Cricket Match: Paraguay XI vs. Galah Cricket
Club XI (Australia). MEMORABILIA - Our picture gallery with hundreds of pictures.

9
Lets face it: NO OTHER Club, Institution in all of Paraguay can equal our record
of 300 Luncheons that have been held over a period of 22 years.
If YOU have ever attended a Strangers event then YOUR name, and perhaps even
YOUR picture will in all certainty appear in this unique CD, for Mr. Langer has
meticulously kept records not only in the Clubs History Book but also from the
Guaran News reports and pictures he so painstakingly snapped over the years.

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