Garnet Smith

Growth as a Poet
By participating in this project I was taught a new way to communicate and write a
powerful message that can be interpreted in different ways. Poetry when used correctly is the
most differentiating and interesting writing style you can utilize.Very few words can be used to
express a complicated point. My poem is communicating the message of religious intolerance,
the damage it has caused to humanity for several centuries. I have had this general message
throughout all drafts of my poem but the message has grown exponentially. In my first draft I
had general ideas that were unexpanded and rather boring. In my second draft I took these
ideas and corrected many of my stanzas so they had deeper messages. By the final draft of my
poem three quarters of my stanzas had been developed further. One example of this is the
stanza Embrace this gift, or begin to drift, further and further, into our regression. A very boring
stanza meant to be a filler, now it has a deeper message of the eminent path humanity is
headed without religious tolerance. The ultimately beneficially change resulted in this stanza
The gift of religion, Should be embraced, Foreseeable passage, Into our retrogression. I am
proud of how I stayed unattached to lines of poem which allowed great growth.
The poetic devices I have learned to embrace and utilize have increased the poetic
nature of my poem and added power to its overall message. A prime example of this is when I
used a metaphor to explain the effects religious intolerance has on the victim by stating
Passing through a forsaken tunnel, Ascending into light, The judgment road, Filled with cracks
and potholes. This final stanza evolved from an undeveloped intellectual message. Now
instead of filling space it adds value and a message to my poem that is extremely valuable to its
entire constitution. Analyzing the first draft of this stanza, We all pass on, or ascend beyond,
but we cannot deny, we are here today. Very little message and no emotional intention was tied
into it. In the revised version, judgement road is described as being unpleasant because it's
filled with cracks and potholes. The stanza explains to the reader that judging others religions
only causes that person pain, it does not contribute to the bettering of our society or any religion
involved. The use of metaphor in this stanza also strengthened its poetic viability, judgement
road isn't real but its effects on people are. By using metaphor I was able to accurately display a
message and allow the reader to continue the discussion of religious intolerance, which is my
ultimate goal with my poem.
Delivering a profound and positive message to the reader was a large goal when I began
and continued to construct my poem. As I have previously explained, poetry is a very strong
way of delivering an important emotional and/or passionate message. One example when I did
this is in the stanza Are we so blind and mistaken, years of bloodshed, can be swabbed up,
with a filthy rag. Writing poetry entails revising lines and stanzas that simply do not work or
sound incorrect. After many revisions and critiques from my peers I changed the line many
times, now it states Society continues blindly, As years of bloodshed, Cant be swabbed up,
With a filthy rag. Both of these stanzas are strong and have a deep passionate message.
However in this change I focused on the way the lines worked together. In this instance my first
drafts lines did not work well together and formed a weird clunky stanza. Instead of stating that

we are blind which leads to thinking we can swab up religious bloodshed, I have decided to
illustrate that society continues blindly and that religious bloodshed cannot be swabbed up. This
simple change in wording helped my poem develop better meter which is important in a
constructing great poetry. Allowing change in the long run is always beneficial and should be
embraced so that we can blossom into aspiration in all aspects.