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Dining Room Etiquette and How to Serve a Meal

1. Before sitting down
1. Out of personal dignity and respect for others, always present yourselves in the dining
room as distinguished men with your hands cleaned and hair combed.
2. Place the napkin on the table to the left of the place settings without hurling it from afar.
3. Avoid touching the place settings, even if they are out of order, until you have been seated.
2. Sitting down
4. Try not to make noise with your chair when you sit down or get up. To do this, withdraw
from the table lightly without dragging the chair.
5. Sit down in the chair from the left and get up from the right.
6. As a sign of good education and self-control, do not make signs of satisfaction or
displeasure when seeing what is on the serving plates, nor display impatience or restlessness.
7. Try to keep a convenient distance from the table which permits you freedom of movement.
Keep your body lightly straight and your feet together.
8. Support your arms on the table at the height of the wrists. Do not lower your hands under
nor raise your elbows over the table.
9. The napkin is opened and placed over your legs.
10. Maintain control of yourselves, and do not eat bread while waiting for the meal to be
served.
11. You may drink water or other liquids from the beginning of the meal.
3. Upon being served
12. The soup tureen and serving dishes are placed on the left for service. When waiters are
serving, it must also be done from the left side.
13. When brothy foods are being served, do not overfill the ladle, nor drag it along the edge of
the bowl. Raise the spoon and carefully pour the liquid onto the plate to avoid spills.
14. When serving yourself other dishes, use both hands taking the spoon with the left hand
and the fork with the right being careful not to dirty or stain the table.
15. Do not overfill your plates. Serve yourself discreet portions. If you would like more, it is
preferable to go back.
16. Serve yourself only that which you need in order to avoid wasting food.
17. Do not touch your plate with the serving utensils or arrange the food on your plate with
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them.
18. Try not to completely empty the serving plate; something should always be left in it. And
in a spirit of sacrifice and self-control, avoid serving yourself too much of those dishes you
particularly like.
19. Do not raise your plate towards the serving dish or fill the utensils to overflowing. Do not
slide food off the front of the serving dish.
20. Do not take anything directly from the serving plate into your mouth.
21. Cease conversation while you are being served.
22. Drinks are held with the right hand. The glass or cup should always remain on the table in
its place. If it is sometimes necessary to raise the cup, do so over the saucer.
23. The ladle is only used for brothy dishes.
24. When passing serving dishes or pitchers to others, avoid dragging them. Raise them and
offer them in a such a way that they can be taken with ease.
4. Eating
25. Put great care, attention and interest into maintaining the proper social norms in your
manner of eating.
26. Your self-control should manifest itself in the calm control of your own reactions and
pleasures, in your attitude of service and attention to those around you, trying to eliminate all
distraction in the enjoyment of your meal or avoiding being lost in your own thoughts.
27. Do not fail to follow the rules of etiquette when eating alone.
28. You may start eating when the person presiding begins the meal. If no one is presiding,
wait until two or three others have been served.
29. Similarly, avoid falling into frivolity or lightness, turning the table into a place of
discussion, or monopolizing the conversation.
30. Speak in a moderate voice without raising it to too much. Converse only with those on
either side of you and immediately in front of you. Also avoid laughing loudly and
gesticulating with your flatware.
31. Try to eat peacefully, chewing your food well.
32. When eating, lean your head and shoulders slightly forward, raising the food to your
mouth. Avoid excessively lowering your head towards the plate.
33. Avoid raising your wrists too much while you eat so as not to disturb those on either side
of you.
34. Do not smell your food, and when it is too hot, move it gently with the appropriate utensil
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rather than blowing on it.

35. Eat everything that has been served to you, but do not cut everything into pieces. The
pieces taken to your mouth should be moderately sized so that you do not have to open your
mouth too wide. Do not take another bite until you have swallowed the previous one.
36. Do not chew in an exaggerated manner, moving your lips and jaws too much. Above all,
be especially careful not chew with your mouth open.
37. Never speak when you have food in your mouth.
38. Do not slurp or make noises when eating soups or very liquid foods.
39. Drink water and other beverages in small swallows rather than all at once.
40. After drinking, avoid clacking your tongue.
41. Do not drink liquids while there is still food in your mouth. Before and after drinking,
wipe your lips discreetly with the napkin.
42. Above all, after having drunk gaseous beverages, be especially careful to avoid belching. If
this happens, tilt your head forward and raise the napkin to your mouth, always saying,
“Excuse me.”
43. When you are a guest and are not familiar with how a certain food is to be eaten,
discreetly observe how others do it.
5. The use of eating utensils
44. Hold flatware by the handle without lengthening the index finger so as not to hold it by
the back of the knife or the tines of the fork.
45. Do not raise your little finger when using flatware, glasses or cups. Refinement must be
found in simplicity.
46. You should never play with your flatware.
47. Do not use your own flatware on serving dishes.
48. Do not overfill the fork or the spoon. Whatever you take with them should be brought to
your mouth one time, not numerous times.
49. When you momentarily put your flatware down, place it on your plate with the handles
toward the edge of the plate and the ends in the center on both sides.
50. At the end of the meal leave your pieces of flatware on your plate parallel to each other
with one piece next to the other.
51. The spoon and fork enter your mouth gently from the ends, not from the sides.
52. When not using the knife, the fork is held with the right hand. Generally food is eaten
with the ends of the fork.
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53. The spoon is used solely for soup or dishes with broth. Soups or brothy foods are served
in a cup or in a deep dish or bowl.
54. The spoon is left in the bowl and is withdrawn along with it. The teaspoon is left on the
saucer or in the ice cream dish.
55. The spoon is held between the thumb and index finger, supported by the middle finger.
56. The knife is used for cutting or for spreading butter or jam over bread and is held with the
right hand. It should never be brought to the mouth.
57. The knife is not used for eating sauces. Once it has been used, it should not be cleaned
with bread, or by using the edge of the plate, and certainly not by using the tines of the fork.
58. When passing a knife or other piece of flatware to another person, it is preferable to do so
by placing it over a clean plate.
59. The salt shaker should be used with the right hand without shaking it in an exaggerated
manner or slamming it down on the table to loosen the salt.
60. If the salt has clumped together, shake the salt shaker gently with your fingers. If this
doesn’t work, remove the top, pour a little salt on a small plate and serve yourself what you
need using the end of a knife, never your fingers.
61. If an open salt dish is used, do not take the salt with your fingers, but rather with the
appropriate spoon, or with the point of a knife if there is no spoon.
62. Glasses and cups are held with the right hand.
63. Cups are held from the handle with the thumb and index finger while at the same time
supporting it with the middle finger.
64. Glasses are held from the lower middle with the three primary fingers of the hand, never
with the palm of the hand. You should drink carefully so as not to give the impression that
your fingers or lips are on the glass.
65. Neither glasses nor cups should be filled to the brim. Leave approximately one finger’s
width from the top rim.
66. When placing a glass on the table, picking it up or offering it to another person, never
touch the upper rim, much less put your fingers inside it.
67. Generally, hot drinks are served in cups; cold drinks in glasses.
68. Do not use commercial beverage containers on the table. Serve these drinks in pitchers.
69. See to it that tableware is simple and of moderate proportions. Retire chipped tableware
from use as well as pitchers and serving dishes which are not sufficiently dignified.
6. Norms for certain foods in particular
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Bread
70. Bread should be broken discreetly with the hands in small pieces, slice by slice, as is
necessary, without dropping too many crumbs. Do not split it in half, or in several pieces at
once, or pull it apart, or cut it with a knife, or by any means directly bite into it.
71. A portion can be broken off from main plate with the rest returned to the plate if you do
not intend to eat it all. However, avoid dropping pieces of bread on the table or returning the
remainder to the main plate at the end of the meal.
72. Bread is eaten in small quantities to accompany soups, consommés and pastas.
73. A slice of bread can be used to facilitate the collection of food onto the fork, but avoid
raking the food towards the fork with the bread or with your hand.
74. Butter and jam are spread over each piece of bread.
75. The slices of bread that are brought to the mouth should be small.
Soup
76. Soup is eaten by trying not to go all the way to the inner edge of the bowl.
77. Avoid filling up the spoon so as not to spill.
78. As a general rule, do not tilt the bowl in order to pick up the liquid. If this is done, tilt the
bowl gently towards the interior.
79. If a drop of soup spills from the spoon, do not clean it with a slice of bread.
80. At the end of the soup course, leave the spoon on the plate.
81. When eating consommé in a bowl, use a spoon, but when eating it in a special cup, you
may either eat it with a spoon or you may drink it.
Pasta
82. It is not the custom to eat spaghetti, macaroni, tagliarini, etc. rolled around the fork. They
are cut in sufficiently small pieces so that they can be raised to the mouth without hanging
from the fork.
83. Be especially careful when eating pasta to avoid staining the table, your clothes, lips or the
outer parts of the plate.
84. If a piece of spaghetti remains hanging, take it discreetly into your mouth with the fork
without slurping it.
85. Other types of pasta are cut with the fork and are taken to the mouth without sticking the
fork into them.
Cheese
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86. Soft cheese is cut only with the fork; hard with the fork and knife.
87. Creamy cheese may put on bread with the knife, never with the fork.
Eggs
88. Coddled or poached eggs may be eaten with the spoon.
89. Except in the above case eggs are cut and brought to the mouth with the fork.
90. Egg yolks, like sauces, are not gathered up with pieces of bread. Whatever can be gathered
up must be done so by careful use of the fork.
91. The small egg cup used for coddled eggs is not picked up to eat the eggs, nor are those
drunk as liquids.
Meat
92. Meat is cut by crossing the fork and knife held by the of the handle. It is not cut all at once,
but rather piece by piece as it is being eaten. The slices should not be too big, nor excessively
small.
93. The bones should be left discreetly on the edge of the plate.
94. Ground or soft meat is cut only with a fork.
95. There are two acceptable ways to eat meat: a) generally in Europe the fork is held in the
left hand and the slice of meat is brought to the mouth. b) In America after cutting the piece of
meat, the knife is placed on the plate, the fork is passed to the right hand and the meat is
brought to the mouth. When cutting a new slice, the fork is passed once again to the left hand.
Fish
96. To eat fish a knife and fork are used. The head and tail are separated from the fish and
placed at the edge of the plate. The fish is then opened lengthwise, the central spine and the
rest of the bones removed with the knife and placed on a separate area of the plate. If a bone
is in one’s mouth, it is gently taken with the hand and placed on the plate or placed with the
mouth on the fork and later placed discreetly on the plate.
97. When lemon slices are offered with fish, the end of the fork is pushed into the pulp and
the lemon is carefully squeezed with the fingers in such a way as to avoid spattering. It is
later placed on the edge of the plate.
98. The skin of the fish can be removed with the help of the knife.
99. The fish is taken to the mouth with the fork held in the right hand.
Chicken
100. It is eaten with the knife and fork, not with the fingers. On a picnic, however, it can be
eaten with the fingers.
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101. Whoever so desires can remove the chicken’s skin with the help of a knife.
Vegetable, legumes, and potatoes
102. Vegetables and legumes are eaten with a fork with the help, if necessary, of a piece of
bread. They should not be mashed down to form them into a sort of purée.
103. Salad is eaten with the fork. If it needs to be cut, it is done with the fork, although it is
preferable to eat it by folding the leaves.
104. Small square of potatoes are eaten with the fork without jabbing them with the tines of
the fork. If necessary, they can also be cut with the fork. French fries can be eaten one by one
with the hand or also with the fork.
Fruit and pastries
105. All fruits except grapes and cherries are eaten with the appropriate knife and fork.
Prepared fruits, such as fruit salads, are eaten with small spoons.
106. Fruit is peeled on the plate, although it can be gently lifted with the fork.
107. A bunch of grapes is held on the plate with the left hand and the grapes are taken one by
one with the right hand. The seeds and skin can be placed on the side on the plate.
108. Pastries are generally eaten with the fork.

Serving a Meal
Serving Food Properly – An Often Misunderstood Practice

Most people in the US think that all food should be served from the left and removed from
the right. This is a misconception and stems from the fact that long ago, all food was served in
large trays and each guest was served individually tableside from this large tray. If you still
do this, then yes, by all means, your guests should be served from the left. But if you are like
most people today and have the plates presented to your guests with the food already on it,
nicely displayed and decorated, then it should be served from the right, and it is incorrect to
serve it from the left. Below is detail of when to serve from the left and when to serve from
the right.

From the Left

In general, the diner is approached from the left for three purposes and three purposes only:
1. To present platters of food from which the waiter will serve or the
diner will help himself.
2. To place side dishes such as vegetables or dinner rolls
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3. To clear the side dishes that were placed from the left.

The reason most often given for this is that most people are right handed. So, for example,
when a waiter must use his right hand to serve from a platter, it is least intrusive if he stands
to the left. This way, the platter can be held safely away from the guest as the waiter leans
forward to reach his/her plate. And, in the case of placing side dishes, it makes most sense to
put them to the side that is less in focus, leaving the right side free for the main dish.

From the Right

These days it is nearly universal practice, even in very formal circumstances, for food to
arrive already arranged on the plate, rather than to be presented on a platter. Preplated food
(except for side dishes), as well as empty plates and clean utensils brought in preparation for
upcoming courses, are always placed from the guest's right side. At the end of the course,
these plates are also cleared from the right.

Wine and all other beverages are presented and poured from the right. This is a logical, since
glasses are placed above and to the right of the guest's plate, and trying to pour from the left
would force the server to reach in front of the guest.