Non-Physical Violence or Abuse

Tactics
1.

Coercion & Threats:

Physically harm partner or loved ones,

Stalk partner,
Destroy possessions,
out partner at work, to family associates, landlord, or
governmental agencies
Mutilate self or attempt suicide

2.

Economic Abuse:

Keeping partner from getting or holding a job

Arranging to support partner and treating him/her like a servant
Forcing partner to work
Demanding partners money
Using partners identity to get money or spending partners
money
Controlling finances

3.

Emotional Abuse:

Verbally assaulting with insults, criticisms, blaming, name calling

Punishing partner for making mistakes
Having affairs
Convincing partner that she/he is crazy, unattractive, unlovable,
sexually in adequate
Ignoring partners feelings, thoughts, concerns

4.

Entitlement:
Treating partner as inferior
Using differences against partner:
education,

5.

wealth,
politics,
class privilege or lack-of,
physical ability,
race,
ethnicity,
HIV status, or
History of trauma

Intimidation:
Scaring partner with:
Looks,
Yelling,
Gestures,
Body language
Smashing or throwing things
Destroying property
Hurting pets
Showing up uninvited/unannounced
Writing threatening notes or letters
Driving recklessly

6.

Isolation:
Controlling what partner does
Who she/he sees and talks to
Where she/he goes
Exploiting the Us against Them relationship that being in The
Closet creates, causing and exaggerated sense of dependency
on partner
Implying that the domestic violence laws do not apply to us and
that no one will be available for help

7.

Sexual Abuse:

8.

Rape, sex on demand

Withholding affection or sex
Physically attacking the sexual parts of partners body
Forced monogamy or non-monogamy
Involuntary prostitution
Denying reproductive freedom
Making partner feel bad about sexual history
Refusing to practice safe sex

Using Children:

Emotionally and/or physically abusing shared or partners children

Using children as go-betweens during conflicts or separations
Using visitation as an opportunity to harass a partner
outing partner to children against partners will

Physical Violence - use and/or threat of

violence

Beating
Biting
Choking
Grabbing
Kicking
Pulling Hair
Punching
Pushing

Slapping
Shoving
Throwing partner
down
Tripping
Twisting arms
Using a weapon

1. HOW PEOPLE HAVE

HURT US?

a.Non-Physical Violence
b.Physical Violence

NON-PHYSICAL
Outting
-Isms:
o
o
o
o
o

Ableism
Ageism
Religiousism
Racism
Etc.

Assuming
Heterosexual
Guilt tripping
Co-dependency

Dishonesty
Verbal abuse
Abandonment/Ostr
acizing
Ignored
Rumor spreading
Sexual Comments
Inappropriate touch
Intimidation
Racial remarks

 Hurting
animals/loved ones
Making irrelevant
Belittling
Entitlement
Hate speech
Stalking
Economic/Financial

Using the court

Manipulation
Shaming
Controlling body
Drugs
Blackmail
Minimizing
Rationalizing
Threatening

PHYSICAL

Beat up
Abuse
Murder
Sexual Assault
Rape
Torture
Kidnapping
Deportation
Enslavement
Imprisonment
Separation of families
Beating

Biting
Choking
Grabbing
Kicking
Pulling Hair
Punching
Pushing
Slapping
Shoving
Throwing partner down
Tripping
Twisting arms
Using a weapon

2.How do they relate?

Authoritarianism
Control
Domination
Power
Oppression

3. Grouped non-physical tactics into

categories

4. Spokes of the wheel

5. Physical violence