Mr.

Tree
By Liam Salerno
Favorite thing to do: nothing
Catchphrase: my life is SOOO
boring!
Favorite food: only food apples
from his own head
Friends: none

Volume 44, Issue 9B

All the news that fits, we print!
Super Friday Theme: Trees and Unicorns!
Why are unicorns called unicorns
By Ryan Kane

Why are unicorns called unicorns? I mean, its not like each
unicorn is holding a piece a corn. And why do unicorns have big fat
pointless things coming out of their heads?

What type of tree are you?

By LOreal Williams
Whats your favorite color?
A. Green
B. Orange
C. Purple
What sports do you play?
A. Tennis
B. Basketball
C. I dont like to play sports I just
consider myself lazy
Do you consider yourself?
A. Happy
B. Chill
C. Sad

Unicorn
By Mya Grossman
Hi again I am your favorite Unicorn Ned the Unicorn.
Anyway I do not think I told you that I am a 5 year old Unicorn. I
can write you some more Unilanguaige If you want.
Hfuijgeruihfjkcbjsdgsdhghgf
That means I am awesome and you are not. I am just kidding
that means I like going swimming in my pool of soda in Unicorn land.
I am a very competitive swimmer. I really cant think of anything
else to talk about so for now Bye

Whats your favorite thing to wear?

A. Shorts
B. Dress
C. Sweater
Whats your favorite season?
A. Summer
B. Fall
C. Winter
If you answered mostly
As then youre a Pine Tree
Bs then youre a Maple Tree
Cs then youre a Weeping Willow
Tree

Another interview with Kippy

By Eleanor Dunne
E: Kippy, how does it feel to have like, EVERYONE
interview you?
K: I feel like a total boss, and I am not socially
awkward like usual.
E: What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
K: Vanilla! Im boring.
E: What is your favorite unicorn comic?
K: I dont know, I dont really pick favorites of my
own work.
E: What do you think of BEE-DOE BEE-DOE
BEE-DOE BEE-DOE
K: Its so fluffy Im gonna die!
That was the awesome interview with the official
Daily Double cartoonist, KIPPY!

What kind of tree are you? Mini quiz

By Grace Arendell
1. What is your favorite color?
a. Green all the time
b. It changes
c. I have two
2. Whats your favorite season
a. Doesnt matter
b. fall
c. spring
3. Do you like being in the sun
a. Its ok
b. Yes
c. I need it. The sun is my favorite thing in the world
Mostly as youre an evergreen
Mostly bs youre a maple
Mostly cs youre a white flower farm tree

Why people sneeze twice in a row normally

By Alexa Orent
Normally people sneeze more than
once. A sneeze is caused when an annoying
particle enters the nose and bothers the mucus
membrane. When it doesnt clear in the first
sneeze you sneeze again etc. Some people only
sneeze once because they have more power
per sneeze.

Sdrawkcab Siht Daer (Read this backwards) (from

the bottom up)
Razal Belac :Yb
!DNE EHT
!refta reve yldas devil yeht dna noegnud eht ot dehsinab
erew sdik ehT .elttab eht now retsnom live ehT .elttab a
dah sdik emos dna retsnom live na ,emit a nopu ecnO

Who is Bob!
By Emily Lucas
In a planet named Bubbyville.
Everyone is named Bob. But some people
are named Boob. Every time they have
a baby they die. Males and females can
have babies. Queen Boob and King Bob
ruled the planet. They were good queens
and kings. No one knew that Queen Boob
was secretly evil. One day Queen Boob
had a baby and no one knew it was evil
too. The evil baby took over the world
with Boob, then bit and killed the Bobs
and Boobs and had a feast with them for
dinner. He ate them for dinner. Then they
sailed across to planet Apple Berry Fart.
They ate everybody there too (by the way
it was all humans) and at the planet as
well. And then they sailed back and ate
their planet where people were confused.
And then there were two plants in
extinction and then they took an airplane
to South Arctic and tried to eat a polar
bear but instead the polar bear ate them
and they lived happily ever after.

The Gossip
By Abby St.Amand
Aroun the hero:
Just in. In the morning of 7/31/13, a girl got stuck on top of
the monkey bars and couldnt get down! Then, Aroun came
to the monkey bars and got her down. Aroun is now a hero!
The pet rock:
Today I made a pet rock. His name is rocky. He can sit, lie
down, play dead, stay and more. He never bits, growl, bark,
wine or runs away. You should get one!
The cousins:
Im seeing my cousins Gavin and Sophia! Yaaaaa!

A poem
By Eleanor Dunne
A dragon comes
And blows up a tower
People run and scream.
A person in bright shiny armor
Come and tickles him.
The dragon laughs until he goes to sleep
Then the guy goes and
Eats
Dragon
Until
He bursts
And flies
To Timbuktu
And pops
On a huge
Number four
On a tree
He lied
Until this really nonsense poem
Isnt so nonsense
After all.

Two suggestions on how to cope with two common

fears
By Nathaniel Ames

Two very common fears are the fear of heights,
and the fear of animals like spiders and snakes. My
suggestion to on the fear of heights would be to take
a deep breath, look down and realize that that the fear
of heights is only rational if you are at serious risk of
falling, like if you are standing on one foot on the edge
of a cliff. My suggestion for the fear of animals would
be to tell yourself they wont hurt you unless you hurt
them first or annoy them, like poke it with a stick. I hope
you can use this advice to help you cope with either of
these fears. (If you have them)

All of the Presidents- Literally!

By Sophie Biro
This is all of the presidents. Note: The first fact is
true, the second is fake so I dont get bored while I
am writing this.
1. George Washington- (1789-1797) He fought in 11
battles. He also wore a powdered wig that cost 100
dollars. That was a lot then!
2. John Adams- (1797-1801) John Adams son, John
Quincy Adams, was the sixth president. He also had a
brother named Adam Adams.
3. Thomas Jefferson- (1801-1809) Thomas Jefferson
spoke 5 different languages. One of them was Pig
Latin. He created it!
4. James Madison- (1809-1817) He was actually
James Madison Jr. He went to CRCAP. This is where
he learned to ride a horse.
5. James Monroe- (1817-1825) He won 80% of
Americas votes. He also named was the real first
person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel.
6. John Quincy Adams- (1825-1829) He was the son
of the third President, John Adams. He also had a kid
named John Ycniuq Adams.
7. Andrew Jackson- (1829-1837) there is a
constitutional crisis with his information page. The
only thing I heard about him is that ate a lot of junk
food.
8. Martin Van Buren- (1837-1841) His name sounds
REALLY French. He also had a major mustache.
9. William Henry Harrison- (1841-1841) He was
president for only a month. It was because he had a
major sugar rush. It lasted until he died.
10. John Taylor- (1841-1845) John Tyler was William
Henry Harrisons vice president. He also had his career
cut short because he didnt have enough sugar.
11. James K. Polk- (1845-1849) He was president for
EXACTLY 4 years. His middle name was Krazy.
12. Zachary Taylor- (1849-1850) He was part of the
Whig Party; I wonder if he wore wigs?
13. Millard Fillmore- (1850-1853) He was the first
president that had a photographed picture, not a
painting! This is because he invented the camera.
14. Franklin Peirce- (1853-1857) He was abandoned
from his party! It was because he didnt like wigs.
15. James Buchanan- (1857-1861) He was called a
doughface. I guess he baked a lot.
16. Abraham Lincoln- (1861-1865) He ended slavery.
Plus, his beard was fake.

17. Andrew Johnson- (1865-1869) Andrew Johnson was

a tailor. He designed the dresses for his wedding.
18. Ulysses S. Grant- (1869-1877) He was the general
of the United States army. Then he became the president
because his horse pushed the vote button so many
times.
19. Rutherford B. Hayes- (1877-1881) His name
is pronounced Ruth-er-ford. His name backward is
Drofrehtur. Wait, what?
20. James A. Garfield- (1881-1881) He was president
for less than 6 months. It was because he quit to film on
Barney and Friends.
21. Chester A. Arthur- (1881-1885) He has great facial
hair. It is all fake, though!
22. Grover Cleveland- (1885-1889) He was the only
president to serve two separate terms. This was because
he took a break in the middle to go too Barbados.
23. Benjamin Harrison- (1889-1893) He was the
grandson of William Henry Harrison. He got into politics
when he was a little kid and his dad got in a fight with
his dad.
24. Grover Cleveland- (1893-1897) He was the only
president to serve two separate terms. This was because
he took a break in the middle to go too Barbados.
25. William McKinley- (1897-1901) He was passed
away during his presidency. He had eyes that changed
colors.
26. Theodore Roosevelt- (1901-1908) He is one of the
faces on Mount Rushmore. It was because he created
gold.
27. William Howard Taft- (1909-1913) He was president
when the Titanic sank. He made it sink because he
wanted to be famous. But I hadnt heard of him since
now!
28. Woodrow Wilson- (1913-1921) He had a cool car. It
was because he created it!
29. Warren G. Harding- (1921-1923) He was a bad
president, says Alasdair. He gambled on a piece of
China that belonged to the White House! He also was
prom King!
30. Calvin Coolidge- (1923-1929) Coolidge corner in
Boston is named after him. He lived there!
31. Herbert Hoover- (1929-1933) He was a professional
miner until he became president. He mined the most
silver of anyone else in the world.
32. Franklin D. Roosevelt- (1933-1945) He was president
for the longest time of any presidenthe was president
for 12 years! He always wore the same black tie.
continued on next page

continued from previous page

33. Harry S. Truman- (1945-1953) The S in his
name does not stand for anythinghe did not
have a middle name. But if he did have a middle
name, he would want it to be Sylvester.
34. Dwight D. Eisenhower- (1953-1961) I like Ike,
you like Ike, everybody likes Ike (for president).
That was the song that everyone sang the day he
was born.
35. John F. Kennedy- (1961-1963) He was pretty
good lookin. He had to shave his mustache every
day because it grew so fast.
36. Lyndon B. Johnson- (1963-1969) He was
president during the Vietnam War. His middle
name was Bernard.
37. Richard Nixon- (1969-1974) He quit being
president. He quit because in a major love triangle
and he had to find a way to get out of it.
38. Gerald Ford- (1974-1977) He played football.
He was going to play for the Patriots but they told
him he couldnt.
39. Jimmy Carter- (1977-1981) His real name was
James. BUSTED!! He got put in jail for his fake
name.
40. Ronald Reagan- (1981-1989) He tried to be
president in 1976, but he lost. He lost by 1 vote.
What a shame.
41. George H. W. Bush- (1989-1993) His son was
president too! HW stands for huge waterbug.
42. Bill Clinton- (1993-2001) I have met Bill
Clinton. I have a picture of me with him! I met
him because I saw his car and shouted the magic
words.
43. George W. Bush- (2001-2009) He made rich
people have to pay less taxes. His middle name
was just waterbug.
44. Barack Obama- (2009-2017) He was the first
African American president. He was also the
first president to do anything with gay marriage.
The second choice for the name of his dog was
Frankfurter.
45. Alasdair and I want Hillary Clinton to be the
next president. She would be the first women
president, and Bill Clinton would be the first first
man. Bye!

Word Fun! Issue #1!

By Roxanne Glassenberg
From the Author
Dear readers,
Word Fun is a new column that I am writing. In word
fun, I will feature a word as the word of the day. I
will also feature words that are fun to say or useful.
They will be called Fun Words. Word Fun will
be published a lot (if possible). If you would like
to have a word (be it your name, a made-up word,
etc.) please PLEASE write down on the sheet I am
putting up! The sheet I located next to the list of
different classes outside of the Daily Double room.
(Old Building, upstairs writing room.) If you dont
know where that is, ask a counselor (or CIT) today!
Please give me your words,
-Roxanne Glassenberg Daily Double period two!
This is what Word Fun will look like every day:
Word of the Day: Mythology
Two Sentences with the Word Mythology under
lined in them
1. Myths, Magic, and Mischief is a Greek
mythology class.
2. She likes Greek, Roman, and Chinese
mythology
5 Fun Words
Cheese, bloated, copper, parentheses, Lilliana!
Challenges!
Challenge: Make a sentence that uses two of these
words. Write them on the line! ______________
________________________________________
______.
Super Challenge: Write a sentence using three or
four of these words! Write on the line! ________
________________________________________
________.
Total Jumbo Challenge: Write a sentence (on the
line) that uses all of the words!
________________________________________
_________________________.

The Untitled Document

By Lourdes Hicks

Sometimes when I get writers block, I look around
at my surroundings. Right Im here in an air conditioned
area, filled with kind females and one energetic male.
The space I am in is particularly small, since the long
gray tables and Dell Desktops and keyboards take up an
extensive amount of room. But do know what the room is
actually replete with? It is stocked with amazing people
containing brilliant and creative ideas. I realize that these
people can write and draw fantastic articles, drawings, or
comics that can either be humorous and or heart touching,
cute, or just abstract and crazy! Every writer starts out
with a blank document or a blank piece of paper and a pen
or my case of right now a mouse and keyboard. Then you
start to think, wonder as to what you might write. They say,
You can write about anything, and everything! But thats
the problem there are too many topics to choose from, I
get overwhelmed. Then you eventually start write but not
only because you have to. You get this bubble, an idea
bubble, it floats around the room until it reaches your
brain. POP! The brake through, I was looking for! Once
I am done writing I can feel accomplished. Sometimes
when I get writers block, I draw instead.

A SPACESHIP CRASHED INTO MY

ROOM LAST NIGHT!
By Katie Predella
It was big, and white, and yeah it didnt
really happen. What do you think rainbows are
made out of? Being a big commercial watcher,
I think they are made out of Lucky charms, and
maybe some other mysterious chemical. But I
took a poll because I felt like it. The results are
in!
Lucky Charms: 0
Magic Fairy Dust: 1
Raindrops: 3
Other: 5
Goodness Daily Double, most of you are
scientific believers. Being the definition of
weird, Im totally disappointed.

Joint Therapy Session

Recorded and most likely partially mistranslated by Will
Edwards
Therapist: Hello, welcome to our joint therapy session. Please,
introduce yourselves.
Loki: Hello, my name is Loki. Im a movie character with
family issues based off a comic book character based off of a
norse god
Peach: My name is Peach, Im the princess of the mushroom
kingdom who gets kidnapped a lot.
Luke Skywalker: Im Luke Skywalker, the only jedi left in the
galaxy left after my father died on the second death star.
Therapist: Now that we all know each other, lets share our
feelings.
Loki: My family hates me and my attempt to take over the
world failed.
Peach: I get kidnapped every day.
Luke: I have PTSD.
Therapist: Good, admitting you have problems to other people
is the first step to getting over them.
Luke: My sister got kidnapped once. But we didnt know we
were related, so she kissed me.
Peach: Eww. At least an evil spiky turtle wasnt trying to marry
her.
Loki: At least you didnt get thrown around like a rag doll by a
giant green rage monster.
Luke: Oh shut up villain.
Therapist: Now lets just calm down.
Peach: Tea anyone? *Loki and Luke ignore her* It worked with
Sheik and Fox.
Loki: At least I didnt commit incest.
Luke: It was just a kiss! And we didnt know at the time.
Loki: Sure you didnt. I bet she was a mewlTherapist: Loki! Do I need to call your parents again?
Loki: *Sigh* No.
Peach: Luke, why are you acting so aggressively?
Luke: The galaxy cant afford another villain.
Loki: Oh calm down. Im in therapy for a reason. If I wasnt
I would be trying to take over the world with an army of fan
girls.
Luke: We cant risk it! *Pulls out lightsaber*
Therapist: What did I say about using your lightsaber? Just take
a deep breath.
Luke: *deactivates lightsaber and breathes deeply* The war is
over, the war is over.
Therapist: Exactly, youre looking for villains in Alderaan
places. Oh, that was kind of insensitive. Our time is over for
today. See you tomorrow. *Peach, Loki and Luke leave* Bring
in the next three.

The singer quiz

By Grace McDonald
What kind of food do you like?
A. Cheesy foods
B .Salad`s
C. Indian
D. Taco`s
What class would you take?
A. Rock star performance
B. Guitar Workshop
C. Hip Hop
D. Experimental baking
What kind of clothes do you wear?
A. Baggy
B. Nice
C. Sparkly Glam
D. Copying your friends style
What is your bad habit?
A. Being a showoff
B. Writing about yourself
C. Biting Your Finger nails
D. Being a magnet to Girls
Mostly A`s then you are Justin Beiber
Mostly B`s you are Taylor Swift
Mostly C`s you are Selena Gomez
Mostly D`s you are Harry Styles

Four minute Article

By Lily Biro

The carnivorous chipmunk

By Tillie Slosser

Hi daily double, I wrote this article in four

minutes. In Radio Play, the first period, I dont know
what to write! What should I write about, Walker? Two
minutes isnt enough time to write an article, actually
its four minutes, Walker actually, what should I write
about? I should write about teeth! The fireworks went
off because I wrote an article in five minutes in four
minutes and its amazing and its going to be in the
Daily Double because its so awesome and something
that happened in 1936 is I dont know and I dont have
any nose pimples but I dont have any so Ill just say
that theyre disgusting. I dont know what intestines
leather is a cool material for clothes. Chlorophyll is
this something. Pepper, okay, pepper is its a spice
that makes you sneeze and its also a food that tastes
horseshoe crabs are crabs that are in the water whale
dreams are very amazing dreams hats through propellers
are very awesome and just a cool hat. Monologues are
something thats I dont know, a story. Impressionist
painters do impressionist paintings. Tailors are people
who tailor your clothes for you. Finger injuries blind
contour drawings sometimes look disgusting sometimes
Las Vegas is a place where Hollywood movie stars
go. Snakeskin is really disgusting and snakes shed
their skin a lot. Luminous orbs are something. Bands
with only trombones in them sound whoop wooorp
wooop hippo moms are moms of hippos. The Civil
War Apocalypse is something, Actually its something
thats scary. Eyeball juice is matter. Thats all. Ninja
chinchilla are a made up thing. Horse clothes tye die
gorillas frowny faces tank tops pet rocks are rocks the
bell just rang its second period and now I have to go to
my next class, bye!

The carnivorous chipmunk is back! A couple
years ago, a lot of birds died. My dad said he saw a
carnivorous chipmunk was eating the bird. My sister,
my mom and I saw a chipmunk eating a bird on the
wall for our driveway. Now the carnivorous chipmunk
is back! Birds, beware!

The new and improved iToilet

By Ryan Kane

Have you heard? If there is an iPad,
iPhone, iPad mini, iPod, iTouch, and an iPod
touch, why shouldnt there be a itoilet! It is
an iPad, iPhone, iPad mini, iPod, iTouch, and
an iPod touch combined and then smacked on a
toilet. Get the iToilet, only $399.99!

Who are you in Harry Potter?

By Eleanor Dunne
1. What is your favorite class at Hogwarts?
a. Defense against the dark arts
b. None of them, duh
c. All of them!
d. potions
2. What color is your hair?
a. black
b. red
c. brown
d. blonde
3. What is your favorite after-school activity?
a. Making illegal defense groups
b. playing quiddich
c. reading
d. being mean
Answers!
If you got mostly a, you are Harry Potter himself
If you got mostly b, you are Harrys best friend,
Ron Weasley
If you got mostly c, you are Harrys other best
friend, Hermione Granger
If you got mostly d, you are Draco Malfoy.
If you got a mix, you are (you choose), Dumbledore,
Luna Lovegood, or Sirius Black.