What It Means To Be Addicted To A Narcissist - and How To Break Free From It - Narcissism Recovery and Relationships Blog

Melanie Tonia Evans
Narcissism and Relationships Blog <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/>

Melanie Tonia Evans
Narcissistic abuse recovery expert, healer, author, radio host
// MENU <#>
//
butterfly_icon
* BLOG HOME
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/>
* GET STARTED
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/getstarted.htm>
* WEBSITE HOME
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/>
* ABOUT MELANIE
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/about.htm>
* HEALING RESOURCES
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/>
* ABOUT QF HEALING
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/quanta-healing-explained.htm>
* PAST ARTICLES
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/sitemap.htm#articles>
* NARP MEMBERS
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member/>
12Jun 2015
//
What It Means To Be Addicted To A Narcissist And How To Break Free
From It
Written by Melanie Tonia Evans <#author_descp>
About: Melanie Tonia Evans
Melanie Tonia Evans
<https://plus.google.com/114872454159984548092?rel=author> is an
international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author,
radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic
Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have
liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse
world-wide.
//Permalink
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it-means-to-be-addicted-to-a-narcissistand-how-to-break-free-from-it/>
19 <#>
56
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it-means-to-be-addicted-to-a-narcissistand-how-to-break-free-from-it/#comments>
What It Means To Be Addicted To A Narcissist - And How To Break Free
From It
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it-means-to-be-addicted-to-a-narcissistand-how-to-break-free-from-it/>
I have never written an article /specifically /on this topic and I

think it is really important that I do.
Feeling addicted to the narcissist is one of the most horrible and
powerless things about suffering the trauma of narcissistic abuse.
And it truly does defy all logical explanation.
People standing on the side-lines cant comprehend it.
It would seem /obvious /that you would want nothing to do with someone
who continually hurts you.
It seems /incredulous /that youre not able to logically define that
this person is no longer worth one scrap of your energy, and that you
cant simply stop thinking about them and move on.
But narcissistic abuse is anything /but simple./
Your friends and family may be incredibly frustrated seeing you go back
to a horrendous abuser over and over again.
Or that you cant stop talking about the abuser and what they did.
Logically to them it is SO obvious Stop going over and over it and
get on with your life!
But these people are not chemically cellularly hooked theyre not
addicted, and there is no way they could understand the crippling pulls
that are so overwhelming that it feels like you will /actually die/ if
you dont reconnect in some way with the narcissist /even if only by
thoughts./
In this article I want to take you on the deep and truthful journey of
addiction what it is, how it plays out and how to break free from it.
What Does Addiction to the Narcissist Mean?

If we are addicted to the narcissist, fundamentally what it means is
that we cant stop thinking about him or her.
The narcissist is front and centre in our mind to such an extent that we
are finding it hard to have focus, energy or space for other things in
our life.
In this state it is incredibly hard to create a new life /away /from
this person, and maybe we havent even got to any remote belief that
leaving or moving on could be possible.
We may be fruitlessly hanging on trying to force this person to see
what they are doing and change so that our anxiety can lessen. This
takes the level of addiction and anxiety to another level generally
one of great despair and powerlessness, and as a result it may be nearly
impossible to even perform basic self-care for ourselves.
Or maybe, even though we are holding No Contact, it is like this person
is still /living inside us/ and not in a nice way. The mental torment
may be unbearable with the triggers of everyday life setting off yet
another thought about this person.
Thoughts about what they did, how could they do that, why did they do
that, how they should not have done that, how we could have done that,
if only this had happened instead, and why didnt I try that.
And what is going to continue to happen. We are terrorised about the
past, feeling extreme anxiety in the present and completely disturbed
about the future.
You may be amazed how months, years or even decades later even after
the actual abuse has ended how this person is /still living inside you
/and your energy is being sucked dry trying to cope with that.
You may not have laid eyes on the narcissist or even heard his or her
voice for decades /yet you are still addicted to thinking about the
narcissist. /
You may not have /ever /thought about this as an addiction /but I
promise you it is./
As you read this article, you will start to understand why.
From my personal experience and having worked with many others, I have
to say that addiction to narcissists is right up there amongst the
toughest of addictions I have had hard drug addicts tell me that
heroin was nothing compared to beating narcissistic abuse addiction.
I dont want to tell you that to scare you and make you think your
situation is hopeless. I really want to tell you so you have the
awareness to understand /this is an addiction./
And its serious
The Symptoms of Addiction

Whether we are in contact with the narcissist or not, our eating and
sleeping patterns may have become completely dysfunctional we may be
using all sorts of ways to try to ease the pain caused by the obsession
and reoccurring triggers such as cigarettes, food, alcohol, gambling,
shopping, filling our life with social media and distractions or trying
to source comfort from other people in unhealthy ways.

It is likely, within these choices of unconscious attempts to get
relief, /we are not connected to healthy strategies to look after
ourselves and heal the addiction./
Maybe we cant even get out of bed the level of pain and despair is so bad.
Maybe in utter self-disgust you have started behaving in ways that you
never thought you would. Maybe you are incensed and angry and lashing
out because people dont seem to understand what you are dealing with in
regard to the narcissist. Maybe you are lying about and hiding the fact
that you are still in communication or seeing the narcissist.
Maybe you are suffering alone because you no longer have the trust and
support of those who could help you.
Maybe things in your life are falling apart because you are falling
apart. Maybe it has become impossible to hold down your job, and maybe
friends, family and key people in your life are turning away.
Maybe things have got so bad that you are virtually selling your soul
for ANY bit of attention from the narcissist (good or bad) akin to a
drug addict licking the crumbs of powder off the floor regardless of the
kicks to your self-esteem and life in order to get them.
That level of addiction is /horrible to anything not just narcissists. /
Addiction can kill people at this level and narcissist addiction is no
different.
I remember all of this
I was there the addict from hell, falling deeper and deeper into a
devastating addiction.
It got so bad that I thought the only way out was to end my life. I
believed I couldnt live without him, and I was totally aware that
living with him was killing me.
It seemed I was doomed either way and death would be the only release.
Thank goodness I didnt make that choice and I found the way to free
myself otherwise I wouldnt be here writing this article to share what
I learnt.
What I do know is this: /it is vital to admit you are addicted. /
If you are going through what I have described I promise you i/n order
to take your power back/ you need to stop pointing the finger at the
narcissist and the crazy stuff he or she is doing and you need to
admit YOU ARE NOT WELL.
Yes you ARE addicted.
And you need to stop putting the future of your sanity and life in the
hands of what the narcissist is or isnt doing and take full
responsibility to learn about your addiction, understand what is really
going on and start healing it.
I can assure you if you wait for the narcissist to fix it for you, you
are never going to get well, and your life could end up being destroyed.
Because THAT is what addictions do.
You may have been told by those who advocate victimisation that you are
suffering C-PTSD and that this is /normal /after the level of abuse and
trauma that you experienced.
I promise you there is a much greater truth than this and later in
this article I am going to explain to you how addiction is the
symptom, and how C-PTSD is /the follow on symptom /of your addiction
and this goes for you even if /you have been able to hold No Contact and
your symptoms persist./
Your symptoms are NOT because of what the narcissist did or does to you
its the ongoing addiction cycle that you are not breaking that is
causing your deterioration.
I want you to understand and start looking at this in a very different
way than most abuse forums would have you think about it.
They want you to think that you have C-PTSD and that this will be with
you for a very long time (if not for ever) /because/ of the absolute
horrendous behaviour of narcissists.
No I disagree entirely, and I have personally lived and facilitated a
different truth thousands of times over.
I want you to understand you are suffering an addiction and /this
addiction can be cured./
And this means you will NOT have or suffer the ongoing symptoms of abuse.
What Makes Us Susceptible To Being Addicted To Narcissists?

Overcoming addictions, truly for me, was the hardest thing about my
self-development /until/ /I really understood the truth about them./
I had always had incredibly addictive tendencies.
Originally it was alcohol, then cigarettes, then being a workaholic,
then narcissistic partners.
Absolutely love addiction was huge for me.
I was a classic co-dependent.
The profile being: highly intelligent, hard-working, capable able to
make most things in my life work.
Yet, I was prone to seeking outside validation, and I was terrified
about rocking the boat (feared abandonment, criticism or punishment if I
spoke up) and I had grave difficulty in trusting my intuition and my
emotions. And rather than have the ability to solidly self-soothe I
would go into overdrive trying to fix things more whenever I felt anxiety.
My motto was Make sure everything gets done, dot the is and cross
the ts and work harder to ensure no disaster can strike.
In short I was often suffering guilt about what I should be doing, I
had severe anxiety about my ability to survive and feel safe in the
world and I felt I was unworthy and unlovable without putting massive
effort in to secure these things.
When I couldnt do something with workaholism and obsessive compulsive
behaviour to relieve anxiety, I would use a relationship or another
addiction to take up the slack using those choices as an attempt to
burn off the anxious feelings.
People who dont suffer these co-dependencies (trying to get peace
within self from outside of self) have a greater ability to be
emotionally solid and self-soothe (much to do with early childhood
programming) and are not as susceptible to making choices that will
undermine their self-worth and value.
They find it much easier to say No in the first place.
These people are not apt to purposefully get drunk, smoke a cigarette,
take drugs, binge on sugar laden foods, work 20 hour days or punish
themselves by staying in an abusive relationship.
And they are not defined by others such as: I HAVE TO get your
approval in order to feel loved and worthy.
I promise you I am not saying any of this to belittle you or shame you.
I am saying this because this is the truth for most people who have been
narcissistically abused.
It was certainly my inner emotional life 100% percent, and I had to
take a great deal of personal responsibility to heal this, in order to
live, survive and then thrive which today /I gloriously do./
Mostly, I am explaining all of this /from the inside out/ to educate you
with a deeper understanding of what your urges REALLY are about and
how to not just /hope to merely manage them/ (which can be
excruciatingly difficult) but rather/clean up the real reason theyre
there in the first place./
So that you are not just attempting to deal with the symptom (the
addiction), but rather so that you can work at healing the /real cause. /
This is the difference between merely /surviving /and truly /thriving./
Powerlessness With Addiction

The hugest thing to understand about the addiction is to know it is a
symptom of trying to get the panic, fear or emptiness inside us soothed.
(Im going to grant an example of exactly what THAT panic, fear and
emptiness is about with my story soon.)
When we are trying to get relief from outside of ourselves and are
making choices from an inner state of disconnection and anxiety, the

choices made will ALWAYS make the panic, fear and emptiness WORSE.
This is the horrible cycle of addiction.
Its this initial inner anxiety causing person to go for unhealthy
choice as an attempt for relief which then leads to increased anxiety.
The bizarre thing about addiction that does NOT make logical sense is
the relief channel (choice of addiction) is NOT effective.
Lets say someone has an addiction to
to obesity, existing fibromyalgia and
self-disgust, lack of self-esteem and
after KNOWING that, the person CRAVES
sugar which contributes greatly

chronic fatigue symptoms,
all sorts of issues and even
more of it.
The short term fix is relief from anxiety, yet like an itch than cant
be scratched, soon more and more sugar is needed.
Immediate short term fix gets less and less, and requires more and more
sugar to be experienced and short, medium and long term damage gets
more and more pronounced.
(This occurs chemically, within our bodies, with all addictions.)
The cellular body, chemically, is literally screaming out more and more
needily for the compound sugar that is destroying it.
So why does our nervous, chemical and cellular system want MORE of
what is obviously destroying it and why is this spiral so powerfully
compelling and why does it have such a deadly grip.
How on earth is that LOGICAL?
Its not logical and we are kidding ourselves if we think it is and
we are kidding ourselves if we think that we can SOLVE it at a logical
level.
Because this is NOT the level where all of this is taking place.
How many people have tried to beat addictions with /mere willpower? /
If THAT was possible TRULY addictions would not exist!
Many, many people with addictions admit they would like to stop, but dont.
How many of us wished we had never picked up a cigarette? How many of us
wish we didnt drink again and behave the way we did? How many of us
wish we had not made that sexual choice? How many of us wish we could
JUST LEAVE an abusive person and NEVER look back?
If we desperately want to stop an addiction and CANT we need to admit
we are POWERLESS over the addiction.
Because we are! Science proves to us that we are!
At the level of the cognitive mind we have a mere 5% power at our
disposal as opposed to the 95% power of our emotional subconscious which
is driving us to pick up the addiction of choice.
Its like trying to beat an elephant stampeded with an ant.

So back to why we crave /more of /what is destroying us.
Forget logic throw that out the window, because what I am about to
explain has NOTHING to do with logic, and it has nothing to do with how
intelligent you are.
In fact the more intelligent you are, the less you will be operating
from a centre of emotional intelligence, and the more you are prone to
suffer from emotional addictions that you are trying to control logically.
The most addicted, hooked people I have ever worked with (including
myself) are the most intelligent for this reason they are the people
that are trying to work at their life cognitively instead of being
emotionally connected to themselves.
Ill use this example first
Imagine you eat a slice of chocolate cake that you were previously
denying yourself.
Now you feel an incredible surge of guilt and maybe even self-disgust.
You had promised yourself you werent going to eat it. You caved in
you had NO self-control and now youre back to /square one. /
Youve just blown your calorie count.
So you beat yourself up pretty severely.
Then half an hour later you have an even /greater urge /to go for
another slice of chocolate cake.
/Why???/
Now you are manically wrestling with yourself again and your mind is
giving you /all sorts of reasons to give in. /
Such as: Ive already blown it Ill start my diet again tomorrow.
Ill work harder at the gym this week to make it up.
Or maybe you are just so self-disgusted you say to yourself, You fat
pig go on gorge yourself. Why not youre unlovable anyway! You may
as well eat, be fat and at least be happy!
/Why/ have you had this terrible downslide after telling yourself how
horribly disappointed you were with your own behaviour after the first
slice.
Surely that would DETER you from doing it again!
You cutting the second slice /after that/ makes NO logical sense!!!!
Okay like I said /please throw away the logic /because until you are
willing to understand Life and yourself at a Quantum, energetic,
emotional level you are /nowhere near the truth./
(Like I wasnt for years.)
And this is NOT some New Age woohoo (as some people like to accuse me
and others of) it is actual /science./
If you do the research on the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza and Dr. Bruce
Lipton (and others) you will discover how true and /proven /this
information is.
But really life should show you absorb this information and then look
at every aspect of your Life and you cant deny that the irrefutable
truth is all around you.
/Smacking you over the head./
The reason that you went for a second slice of chocolate cake is because
everything that you focus a lot of emotional energy on (good or bad it
makes no difference) means you are saying /a whooping great Yes to
that thing. /
You have just cemented that which you focused on into your life as
your reality and you have called forth more of it.
Your huge energetic reaction to having the slice of chocolate cake
completely and utterly set up the urges to create having a slice of
chocolate cake again.
Now if you had made a decision to not have chocolate cake that was
calm and solid WITHOUT the emotional beatups, traumas and chemical
peptides being manufactured in your hypothalamus and being secreted
through your bloodstream and absorbed by the cells of your body then
you would have been able to NOT have another slice of chocolate cake.
It was your huge emotional reaction which set off a chemical chain of
events and what /that was about/ was your unresolved self-judgements
and self-loathing that caused you to take actions that would cause
MORE self-judgements and self-loathing.
Because the cells of your body (addictive entities they are) would not
have started chasing the massive chemical rush that you supplied them
with 30 minutes ago.
The high of the trauma of eating the first slice of chocolate cake was
so high that the low was a withdrawal, and the cells wanted the
high to get out of that low.
Ugly isnt it that your cells interpret trauma as a high?
Your cells interpret any BIG chemical / emotional rush as a high.
Please understand this your cells are /totally unconditional. /
Energy is energy good or bad it makes no difference.
Think about this .
I know when anyone complains to me about bad drivers or not getting car
parks (especially when they have a BIG emotional charge wrapped up in
their complaints) that they suffer bad drivers REGULARLY and DONT get
carparks.
I know that people who /believe they are victims /are CONTINUALLY
victimised.
I know that people who are not willing to look at life at a chemical
level and are struggling with logic to try to change their life are
fighting an uphill battle especially if they are continually
perceiving and relaying negative states of victimisation, anxiety,
depression, powerlessness and trauma.
Now here is the thing
They are /addicted /to these states, and unconsciously making choices
that add to them.
Lets go back to the chocolate cake.
The second slice came about because of the /chemicals of trauma as a
result of eating the first slice./
So what do we think happens when we are stuck in the manufacturing of
trauma regarding what the narcissist did to us?
Be very aware these traumas are MASSIVE rushes of emotions / chemicals
to our cells.
MASSIVE spikes huge highs.
Ill tell you what happens our cells chase /more of it./
So we continually think about what happened to us. And we come up with
all sorts of twisted excuses to make contact and touch the stove
repeatedly that is burning us.
We literally cannot let go of the very source of our trauma
Yep! The narcissist even if that just means /thoughts of the narcissist./
I PROMISE you with all my heart if I believed and knew that banging on
about the narcissist and sharing war stories was helping us heal I
would be ALL for it!
But it doesnt all it does is spread the poison, and create more
peptide addiction and more abuse victimisation throughout peoples systems.
It causes people to remain hooked, obsessing, going back, lining
themselves up to be abused, and teaching their children how to be
victims as well.
Setting up /future generations of more of the same./
It does NOT break the horrible cycle, any more than repeatedly beating
yourself up over eating chocolate cake does.
It is the very epitome of cementing powerlessness and the addiction to
pain and abuse even deeper.
This is why RECOVERY is all about getting OUT of the addiction.
People sharing war stories in abuse forums are /deep in the addiction/
and are repeating the same stories years later and they experience the
same pain every day even years later.
They are literally /addicted to the chemicals of grief, victimhood,

despair, powerlessness, helplessness, anger and resentment./
Take note, because if you are a victim of narcissistic abuse this is
likely to be your orientation until you realise what you thought could
help you is NOT helping at all!
Then this is called C-PTSD and blamed on the narcissist mostly and
I understand this because I had C-PTSD, adrenal malfunction and
agoraphobia through the roof at levels that I was told were medically
impossible to heal and could only ever hope to be managed with permanent
anti-psychotics.
The truth I discovered bared no resemblance to any of that.
When I cleaned up my addictions that were fuelling and feeding my
trauma, and cleaned up the reason for the generation of trauma in my
life I was trauma free and on a trajectory of a /completely different
life./
Then all of these symptoms vanished completely and I opened up to
the organic state of radiance that we all ARE without these faulty
states of living.
Narcissistic abuse and all that went with that was then Not My Reality.
And it does not need to be yours.
Addiction is the Symptom

So we have looked at addiction to the narcissist (or anything) and how
we are powerless to beat it at a logical level.
In fact we are powerless to heal any addiction (and maybe can only ever
hope to precariously manage the horrendous pulls and triggers) until we
look at the /true reason /we are reaching for an addiction.
The addiction is ONLY the symptom.
There is a deeper CAUSE.
The deeper cause is anxiety and emptiness being caused by an emotional
wound a young, precarious underdeveloped part of ourselves that feels
unsafe and fearful. A part of ourselves that feels it needs something
outside of ourselves to take away the pain.
If we find and address this part of ourselves there is NO addiction.
At this point Ill share my story about breaking my addiction to
cigarettes, because its an easy to understand example.
I was a cigarette smoker since 15 years of age. A heavy smoker, and that
addiction continued on even after narcissistic abuse recovery.
Of course I wanted to not smoke, but I figured that was pretty much
impossible because apart from when I was pregnant (when smoking made
me physically ill) I had only ever been able to stop for three weeks,
and that had been excruciatingly difficult.
That was until I remembered /what I had learnt about recovery from my
addiction to narcissists./
I remembered the absolute truth: Cigarettes had NOTHING to do with my
addiction to cigarettes!
Cigarette smoking was only the /symptom/ of how I was trying to get
relief from the /true cause./
Therefore, all I had to do was find the /true cause /and heal that, and
no longer would I be compelled to put a cigarette in my mouth when I
/really didnt want to./
Just like the narcissists, smoking was a horrible /self-destructive
choice /attempting to self-medicate inner fear, pain and emptiness.
So the answer to giving up cigarettes?
Simple stop the self-medication choice (smoking cigarettes) and fully
/be with, find, meet and up-level the wounds with //Quanta Freedom
Healing. /
So once the light went on, and I realised /cigarettes had nothing to
do with it, /I put the remaining cigarettes in my packet under a tap,
threw them in the bin and then sat with myself waiting for the anxiety
to hit now that the self-medicating drug had been removed.
The anxiety came up
I was ready.
Diligently I dug into myself, deeply into my subconscious, and found
significant wounds that were to do with loneliness, wanting connection,
companionship and conjoining.
These young, sad, depressed, separated parts of myself were craving
connection and going for connection with cigarettes something to
light up and connect to something to keep me company when these
terrible feelings of deeply unconscious loneliness would hit.
These wounds were so deeply unconscious that I didnt even realise they
were emotionally controlling me (we usually /dont realise/ until we
get in contact with our subconscious).
So one-by-one I shifted every young wound of loneliness out of my body
that I could find, and brought in the glorious warmth, love and
connection with my Higher Power. I then passed this through to and
filled up my Inner Child, and I integrated with her, and then conjoined
with all of Life as One.
These /True Self /feelings then became my emotional truth.
I had re-programmed my subconscious.
I promise you this even in the midst of untangling and healing this
stuff, (it took about three days) I did NOT have one craving for a
cigarette ever.
I wasnt even thinking about cigarettes/ because they had become
totally irrelevant /for the first time in 3 decades!!
Cigarettes were done, because I was FULLY focused on nailing and healing
the TRUE reason why I ever tried them or craved them in the first place.
Now do you understand the /truth /about addictions?
My Journey With Detoxifying the Addiction to Narcissists

The first narcissist in my life was a /horrendous addiction /process
that took years.
The reason being was because I was trying to work at it from a
victimised logical level, with no Quantum understanding or tools.
Even personality disorder recovery specialists had no understanding of
the chemical addiction and horrendous chemical withdrawal process that
my body was going through.
There was /no information or processes /available to deal with this, and
believe me I searched /far and wide./
Looking back, I know I was undergoing withdrawal symptoms that made
living sometimes a matter of survival minute to minute, which
contributed to me breaking No Contact over a dozen times, and ended in
my complete psychotic and physical breakdown which was so severe it
almost ended my life.
My life was going to end /anyway /the way I was headed either through
a self-destructive choice, terminal illness or an accident. There was no
other way it could have gone because my addiction had spiralled
completely out of control.
Thank goodness I had my awakening and started seeking the real answers
to recover or I never would have.
Second narcissist was a walk in the park regarding breaking the
addiction to him.
Straight away when I decided to end it for ever I knew he was ONLY the
symptom of deep inner wounds I needed to find and heal and THAT was my
full focus.
The most significant wound regarding second narc was my total terror of
abandonment. He had targeted a 3 year old wound that had been alive in
my body since that age an emotional unconscious fear that I would be
annihilated if abandoned (which is exactly the emotional decision /
terror I had experienced as a 3 year old).
That narc played on it and would belt and trigger that wound continually.
I didnt have to be an Energetic Einstein to work out this wound. It
had played out horribly more times than I could count in that relationship.
I knew the drill use Quanta freedom Healing look at what hurt, feel
it in my body, track it, release it and uplevel it (re-program it).
Absolutely I went through days and weeks of deep healing, wailing out
wounds and up-levelling them purposefully in order to detox the trauma
and heal myself as quickly and as powerfully and directly as possible.
Yet NOT ONCE did I consider contacting him want to contact him or
have ANY illusions that he was HEALTHY or desired in my life.
I had ZERO attraction left.
There was obsessional thoughts regarding the usual assortment of
narcissistic lies, betrayals, adultery and obscene acts, which I needed
to release from myself cellularly and liberate myself emotionally from
but not once did I wish that he was in my life.
This made matters so much easier to heal than first narc because this
time right from the onset /it had nothing to do with him / /it/ was
/all about healing me./
Second narc fallout was minimal; smearing and ongoing rubbish was
non-existent and there was zero stalking, antics and drama.
I know this is because I had changed so much; I wasnt hooked, I wasnt
feeding it I was disconnecting so fast, and I was claiming back my
energy and my life so much more effectively than first time around.
Before too long, I could go to any memory and it felt totally benign
in my body no emotional charge because I had done such a great job
of releasing it and healing it from my cells.
Detox accomplished!
Yes, I did have practical and financial loses again but this time I
was able to release and heal the regret so much faster rather than
being stuck in the victimhood and despair that I had suffered and
regurgitated so much in the past with narc number one which had
delayed my recovery so much.
My mission second time around was: no more peptide addiction to states
that I FIRMLY did not want to experience or have in my life anymore
and that was never going to happen unless I released the poison and
raised my consciousness to a level where they were Not My Reality.
There/was no other orientation to have /if I wanted to break free and
get well.
The Three Choices With Addiction

With narcissistic abuse you have three choices.
1) Remain hooked (even if just with ongoing obsession) and get further
destroyed by accumulating more panic and emptiness and an even greater
addiction that will never be soothed, and will need greater and greater
doses of the pain to try to get any sort of relief. Its a spiral into a
bottomless pit.
2) Try to get away and stay away (even from just obsession) without
reprogramming the very reasons why you are trying to unconsciously
self-medicate with the narcissist which is agonizingly terrible and
feels like you are going to die or
3) Make it all about yourself and all about reprogramming your
subconscious so that you can break free from the horrible cycle once and
for all. Then you will no longer be merely attempting to manage ongoing
symptoms, but rather will heal at the real level that caused these
symptoms. The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program is your absolute
solution to achieve option number 3
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/narc-abuse-recovery.htm>.
Choosing to Touch the Previous Addiction

Its really important to not be fooled and think If I just heal the
reasons /why I go for the addiction/ then I wont be addicted and I can
continue seeing the narcissist.
I no longer have any urge for cigarettes, but this doesnt mean that I
choose to still occasionally smoke. Theyre toxic; theyre poison. They
have no place in my orientation of /loving, respecting and caring for
myself /now.
Someone asked not long ago what to do if they ran into the ex-narcissist
and shouldnt they be the bigger person and say Hello?
This is just a function of our ego wanting to appear a certain way.
My answer was this: If I ran into an ex narcissist there would be
nothing from me, no acknowledgement, no words, no energy. Nothing not
a thing. Even if they acknowledged me there would be nothing.
The reason being: /narcissists are Not My Reality./
They dont get any energy from me ever.
I know if I connect, even with a glance or an acknowledgment, Im buying
into an energetic, chemical, emotional dark void of games, manipulation,
agendas, nastiness, undermining and ego
thats /always /unhealthy, unsavoury, soul-destroying and toxic.
I wouldnt pick up a heroin needle, or a crack pipe so why would I
pick up a narcissist again?
In Closing
I hope this article helps a lot
Its a lot to take it.
Self-reflect this information and apply it to what you know about your
life and really think about and feel into how these states have played
out in your life and do the research about bodily chemical addictions
at a scientific level if you want to understand more.
Addiction is serious, its deadly and its excruciating when its got
hold of you
When caught in the addiction so often we make choices and get addicted
to secondary addictions to try to escape the first addiction.
This may be medication, another toxic relationship, or continual
victimised narc bashing on abuse forums or other choices that cause
/more disconnection from ourselves and more pain /and are not dealing
with the /true reason /for the addiction in the first place.
Thats NOT living, and it is NOT the organic life of wellbeing that is
our birthright to experience /when we take the path back to the truth./
I want to help you achieve this because its my life mission to help
as many people liberate themselves from narcissistic abuse as possible.
Over the last several months myself and my team have been working
extremely hard to put together a revolutionary event, to give you the
most important information and introduction to my healing system that I
possibly can within a 2 hour time frame.
Its called the 3 Keys To Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse, and its
going live on June 23rd.
If youre still battling with any number of the symptoms of narcissistic
abuse, I invite you to join me in this Webinar, because I will be
showing you exactly how to transform yourself and your life beyond even
what you thought you were capable of before being abused.
I teach you how to THRIVE.
The event is totally free, all you need to do is invest 2 hours of your
time.
Confirm my spot for the free live Webinar.
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/thankyou-step2.html>
Many people as a result of my Webinar, in record time, have started
breaking free from the agony and begun to connect to life at levels
there were not accessible even before narcissistic abuse
This can be you too
I hope this article has helped you a lot and I look forward to
answering your questions and comments.
The following two tabs change content below.

* Bio
<#ts-fab-bio-below>
* Latest Posts
<#ts-fab-latest-posts-below>
My Twitter profile <http://twitter.com/MelToniaEvans>My Facebook profile
<http://facebook.com/pages/Melanie-Tonia-Evans/137377772251>My Google+
profile <http://plus.google.com/114872454159984548092?rel=author>
Melanie Tonia Evans <http://melanietoniaevans.com/>
Melanie Tonia Evans
<https://plus.google.com/114872454159984548092?rel=author> is an
international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author,
radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic
Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie s healing and teaching methods have
liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse
world-wide.
My Twitter profile <http://twitter.com/MelToniaEvans>My Facebook profile
<http://facebook.com/pages/Melanie-Tonia-Evans/137377772251>My Google+
profile <http://plus.google.com/114872454159984548092?rel=author>
Latest posts by Melanie Tonia Evans (see all
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/author/meltonia/>)
* Why Doesnt The Narcissist Care About Me Part 2
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-doesnt-the-narcissist-care-about-me-p
art-2/>March 26, 2016
art-1/>March 19, 2016
* Is There A Right Way To Leave A Narcissist?
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/is-there-a-right-way-to-leave-a-narcissis
t/>March 11, 2016
Share on:
<http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-itmeans-to-be-addicted-to-a-narcissist-and-how-to-break-free-from-it/>
<http://twitter.com/share?url=http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it-means-to
-be-addicted-to-a-narcissist-and-how-to-break-free-from-it/&text=What%20It%20Mea
ns%20To%20Be%20Addicted%20To%20A%20Narcissist%20%E2%80%93%20And%20How%20To%20Bre
ak%20Free%20From%20It>
<https://plus.google.com/share?url=http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it-mea
ns-to-be-addicted-to-a-narcissist-and-how-to-break-free-from-it/>
<http://www.digg.com/submit?url=http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it-meansto-be-addicted-to-a-narcissist-and-how-to-break-free-from-it/>
<http://reddit.com/submit?url=http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it-means-to
-be-addicted-to-a-narcissist-and-how-to-break-free-from-it/&title=What%20It%20Me
ans%20To%20Be%20Addicted%20To%20A%20Narcissist%20%E2%80%93%20And%20How%20To%20Br
eak%20Free%20From%20It>
<http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=http://blog.melanietoniaevan
s.com/what-it-means-to-be-addicted-to-a-narcissist-and-how-to-break-free-from-it
/>
<javascript:void((function()%7Bvar%20e=document.createElement( script );e.setAtt
ribute( type , text/javascript );e.setAttribute( charset , UTF-8 );e.setAttribut
e( src , http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinmarklet.js?r= +Math.random()*99999999
);document.body.appendChild(e)%7D)());>
<http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it
-means-to-be-addicted-to-a-narcissist-and-how-to-break-free-from-it/&title=What%
20It%20Means%20To%20Be%20Addicted%20To%20A%20Narcissist%20%E2%80%93%20And%20How%
20To%20Break%20Free%20From%20It>
<http://www.tumblr.com/share/link?url=blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it-means-t
o-be-addicted-to-a-narcissist-and-how-to-break-free-from-it/&name=What%20It%20Me
ans%20To%20Be%20Addicted%20To%20A%20Narcissist%20%E2%80%93%20And%20How%20To%20Br
eak%20Free%20From%20It>
<mailto:?Subject=What%20It%20Means%20To%20Be%20Addicted%20To%20A%20Narcissist%20
%E2%80%93%20And%20How%20To%20Break%20Free%20From%20It&Body=http://blog.melanieto
niaevans.com/what-it-means-to-be-addicted-to-a-narcissist-and-how-to-break-freefrom-it/>
Your Free New Life Starter Pack

2 free eBooks <#> free intro Video <#> 2 hour free Webinar <#>
*
*
*
*
Find out if someone in your life has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Learn how to do No Contact and keep it for good.
Discover how to get relief from the pain.
Learn how to reclaim your life with my 10-step process.
Two free ebooks on signing up

<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/articles/narcsignup.htm>
Sign up below to join my Community of over 50,000 people, and receive
weekly information, inspiration and tools to get your life back on track.
ssl security padlock
never be shared.
We value your privacy. Your information will
* Previous post
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-doesnt-a-narcissist-want-love-happine
ss-or-peace/>
* Next Post
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/being-the-scapegoat-and-trying-everything
-to-get-approval-thriver-story-25-cindy/>
56 Thoughts on What It Means To Be Addicted To A Narcissist

And How To Break Free From It
*
Nikki
June 12, 2015
Hi Melanie,
Your article was truly heaven sent. I woke up this morning feeling
like crap as usual and checked my emails for the millionth time to
see if my ex narc had responded to my email 2 days ago. As I opened
up, your email came through all about breaking addiction!!! Now if
thats not God/ the universe stepping in then I dont know what is!!
I unfortunately broke no contact on Wednesday as I just had to get
answers as to whether hed cheated on me, I got my fix, no solid
answers and in turn opened up a huge Pandoras box from him of

threats, abuse and promises to rage war on me and destroy me if I
didnt tell him who had told me these rumours!!
Very luckily, I managed to always keep my 50 ft barbed wire fence up
with my N as from the outset, after the first evil comment, I
blocked any love getting through to protect myself, but I still
spent 2.5 years with the bastard and moved myself and my 3 precious
children to a house with him to endure 4 months of pure, absolute
hell, consisting of gas lighting, withdrawing and verbal/emotional
and physical violence.
With your wonderful encouragement Melanie and help from the webinar,
etc, I managed to claw myself away from him to safety with my
children. I had to pretend to him to still love him and want to work
on things but from separate houses, he fell for it and moved out!
Yay! Which meant I could relax and breath easy to rebuild my life again
He put himself into therapy as an attempt to get well, he calls his
narcissism his protector and I so nearly got sucked back into a
relationship again with him under false pretenses. I thought he was
getting better, until one morning, we were talking about our sons
and I was saying how I couldnt imagine my little James being a man,
with that, I noticed this look of pure contempt, scorn and hatred
flash across his face. Later that day I ended things for good as I
knew I had been duped again!!! It was all a facade even the supposed
therapy!!!
Since then Im concentrating on myself and my kids, Ive even got
back into singing again and have an audition for a band this
weekend. I do get flashbacks, terrible panic attacks and stomache
aches when I think of him but I know in time they will go
We as targets are so precious because we can only think in terms of
love and care for others, but now is the time to turn that love
inwards to ourselves. We didnt deserve this, but it happened for a
reason to show us that we are rarities and blessed. We need to love
and heal ourselves now and leave those prick narcissists in the dust!
Onwards and upwards! Xx
Reply //
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it-means-to-be-addicted-to-a-narciss
ist-and-how-to-break-free-from-it/?replytocom=604059#respond>
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Nikki,
it was great that you had that level of self-reflection to
realise that you really do need to heal.
We can be very mistaken thinking it the parts of us that are
loving which are being pulled back in and manipulated but
truly it is the gaps it is the fears, the subconscious
programming that is responsible.
Because this is not a relationship based on love it is one
where the glue is fear and wounds.
And once your fear and wounds are gone you may have compassion
for him and his state, but I promise you you will NOT be in
love with him, or feel responsible for him, or feel that you
need him.
Hence why you need to find your wounds, and release them then
a healthy adult woman self takes over with healthy self-love,
self-worth and self-respect.
Are you working with NARP Nikkii?
Mel xo
Reply //
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it-means-to-be-addicted-to-a-nar
cissist-and-how-to-break-free-from-it/?replytocom=604339#respond>
*
Jackie
June 12, 2015
Thank you for posting this with a detailed description of what is
really going on and how to address the roots. Sharing with a few
people. Very enlightening.
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Jackie,
you are very welcome, I am glad this resonated with you and
thank you so much for sharing this article!
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Anne
June 12, 2015
Hi Melanie,
your articles always come in the right moment. I am in the third
months of no-contact after a 3years on-off relationship with a Narc.
Without ayour articles I wouldnt have had the strength to maintain
no contact. I learned from you that after breaking the relationship
there was no peace to be expected. He acutally started accusing me
of the most horrible things
But I was prepared and did the only right thing to do: no handing
over any power, not granting any narcisitic supply. Finally he
calmed down: not justifiying myself, not waiting for proper
behaviour or an excuse was just the right thing to do.
I have reserved a huge space for this summer for doing your Quanta
Healing Programme. The webinar already made me shift quite a good
amount of pain and now I know that this is where I have to go.
Thank you so much for everything you do! You help me a lot, really.
Big hug and even bigger thank you!
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Anne,
I am so pleased my articles have helped, and it so good that
youre going to dedicate yourself to the inner work with the
NARP Program because you will find your clarity and strength
goes to a whole new level when you do.
The inner transformational healing is where exponential recovery is.
Keep going, you are so on the right track and you are very
welcome Anne :)
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Catherine
June 12, 2015
Spot on Mel! Healing the wounds of our inner child is THE key to
real freedom! I really appreciate how you put it: The deeper cause
is anxiety and emptiness being caused by an emotional wound a
young, precarious underdeveloped part of ourselves that feels unsafe
and fearful. A part of ourselves that feels it needs something
outside of ourselves to take away the pain.
If we find and address this part of ourselves there is NO addiction.
Thank you for all you do!
Cat
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Cat,
it is so true, and we can chase our tail running around
everywhere on the outside with no result mere management at
best until we liberate ourselves through the painful

situations which are handing us the very key to know what to
liberate . which part inside ourselves.
The only barrier to our incredible life is ourselves it just
comes very cleverly disguised as others!
Thank you for your post and for getting it!
Mel xo
Reply //
o
Nicole
June 15, 2015
Cat & Melanie,
This is so very true but even though I get the wounds of my
inner child, I still can go back & hand over the power to the N.
Funny how we can also forget the bad times, the cheating,
dishonesty etc.. and remember the good. I spent 20 years of my
life with a N. Much of that time feeling as though it was me,
what was wrong with me? Even after his first affair, I gave up
more power only to literally be nothing more than a door mat. I
was so dependent on him.
Because there are kids the hardest part is the no contact and to
not acknowledge the N. I totally understand that absolutely no
contact is best and not give any power but there is still a part
of me that thinks I should at least speak & go on but it does
not end there with a N.
Your information and e-mails are great. I am getting better at
this but I must admit I can not say that I am free yet. Working
on it though.
Thank you,
N
Reply //
*
stephen
June 12, 2015
I had no problem with the no contact part, I never broke my
commitment to never contact again. I was never addicted to any
substance before, I loved to study, perhaps that was my addiction?
But it was the rage and hatred that returned over and over and never
let me have peace. I didnt want this, it was stopping me from
getting proper sleep and rest. I might go a couple of days and the
rage and hatred would start all over again.
It was affecting my health, I was getting sick. People would say

things like get over it , or why do you keep talking about
this?. I couldnt believe that a person could be so diabolical and
I had to go over and over in my mind about it.
Im remarried now to a wonderful lady, but occasionally I have
flashbacks, she will say something that reminds me of the narc and
I will recoil and start thinking of leaving.
I know this is not normal and my wife catches me and reminds me that
Im having a flashback. It takes me a bit to calm down and I need to
alone for an hour or two.
This was by far THE MOST DIFFICULT THING ABOUT HEALING from
narcissistic abuse, nothing was worse than the recurring rage and
hatred. Today when I think of her its okay 95% of the time, its that
remaining 5% that is still vexing me.
Its been 4 years and I think shouldnt I be over this by now? Its
been a long drawn out process, but most of my time is now in peace
rather than torment.
Im thankful that I attracted a wonderful companion who is just as
serious about overcoming the past as I am.
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Stephen,
while that trauma is still trapped as programming in your
subconscious it is still a trauma until it is released.
Once it is it will be a benign thought without an emotional
charge connected.
That is the deeper energetic work that deals with such traumas.
Then there is a huge shift meaning you are no longer trying to
manage that trigger rather that trigger simply no longer exists.
I would suggest to you the NARP Program or because you feel
that one is all that is left that is tripping you up a
kinesiologist who can release and reprogram that for you could work.
And believe me energetic healing tools are your complete and
easy answer on this one.
Mel xo
Reply //
+
Ayan
December 29, 2015
Hi Melannie
I read your article and felt completely related to it. I
feel I am suffering still as rage and hatred and negative
emotions keeps on coming on. I have seperated for 1.5 yrs
from my ex narc but I am all alone and sometimes feel
miserable about my life. It seems motovation for the
purporseful living is not there. 2016 is a big year for me
as lot is on stake for my future, but finding the energy and
motivation to acheieve and complete those purporse are
drained off me. I am dragging my life . I cant get over the
rage and hatred as other person mentioned in the blog. I
dont have direct contact with my ex but need to keep email
connection for legal matters. What and how should I deal
with issues?
Reply //
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it-means-to-be-addicted-to-a
-narcissist-and-how-to-break-free-from-it/?replytocom=651439#respond>
o
Shoshannah
June 18, 2015
Stephen, its great to read that people deal with the same
issues Its really encouraging to find out that Im not the
only one. Perhaps Im not crazy, its just a consequence of a
relationship with a narc.
I have troubles with rage and hatred too. As for me, its been
only a month of no-contact with my narc, and I am pretty sure he
will try to hoover he is just giving me a silent treatment at
the moment. But the rage and hatred started months ago. And I
just dont know any means to relieve those feelings. I hope that
time will heal, but so far it doesnt seem to be doing so.
Any suggestions? How to get rid of the rage and the hatred?
Reply //
+
Valerie
June 19, 2015
Hi Shoshanna,
I have a berserker temper. From my dad, actually. So I spent
decades being afraid of myself. Maybe that contributed to
landing an abusive relationship instead of a healthy one.
(Hmmmm.) So anyways, any and all feelings are OK, but not
any or all actions are. So, no matter how furious you get,
do not unleash this at your ex, your self, or anyone else.
Know instead you can transform it, and it will become a
source of strength.
Mels program is so wonderful. If you work it, you will find

where that rage is coming from inside, and shift the whole
thing so you dont keep getting triggered. Seriously. Just
go inwards, find what is under the rage. The NARP program
can help you. You can do it!
Reply //
*
debbie delgado
June 12, 2015
In April, I went no contact with my ex-narc. She lovebombed me so
much and so fast in the first yr. She told me she was actually
addicted to me like a drug and wanted to marry me. We went 3 and 1/2
yrs straight being inseparabledates, endless kissing,passion,
desire,but I had ignored flags of her personality she gave me
glimpses of that seemed odd. I didnt care bc she gave me what I
longed for. After I was deeply hooked, she always seemed to set up
fights, drama, and sabotage. She would check my phone as if i wanted
someone else, but didnt. I got accused anyway. I let it go;trying to
show more love. Then came triangulation. She used her family, my
friends, strangers, and her coworkers to play against me. I had no
idea wth was happening. All i wanted was her. We would fight, then
make up. It became so toxic. I actually said that to her one day and
wanted to end it. She wouldnt let me. Things just got worse Over
time. She got a prestigious job and coincidentally tld me we had to
just be friends bc her family wasnt approving. I didnt want to, but
wrestled with it continuously seeing her thinking she wld change.
She became distant. No more affection. Less calls and txts. Began
ignoring me and tlkd about all these beautiful powerful put together
women she was around as if i was now nothing to her. I went into a
deep depression. My self esteem was shattered. I was weak and small
now. She was large and powerful. I felt so insignificant and no
longer loved or valued. I tld her i wanted to end it.she continued
hovering at times and ignored my attempt at nc. I went maybe 5 weeks
at nc and caved after she saw me at church. She seemed sincere
asking me to forgive her. I tossled with it a couple weeks and txtd
her. We went to a lake and tlkd. She said all the things to draw me
in. This time, she tld me she had met a woman at the mall while
getting a makeover. She said the woman tld her she was so attractive
and they went to lunch and started talking on fb. She said she didnt
want to let the friendship go in case we didnt wrkout, she didnt
want to lose us both. I said no way. So she said ok ill cut it off.
Within just a couple weeks, things were going back to old patterns.
This time, she withheld affection and called all the shots. I was at
her mercy and agreed to it just to get crumbs. We did this 9 mos and
in April, i went nc with the exception of her approaching me 3 times
at church and once at my job, then a random irrelevant fb msg to see
if i would respond. I am now seeing im at this horrible addiction
phase you wrote of. I am an addict and need help. Thank you for
posting. Praying for healing.
Reply //
o

June 13, 2015
Hi Debbie,
it is astounding that we used to think someone being hooked and
addicted to us is a compliment and it means love.
Narcissists are the ultimate addicts, and any lovebomby person
acting addicted is in fact a grave insult because its means
you have been reduced to a mere self-medicating option to help
them avoid their own inner pain.
It has NOTHING to do with love!
The truth was without you knowing it you were also using her
as such an enmeshment to avoid you own inner wounds.
Hence why co-dependent relationships end up toxic with lots of
pain and often there is a narcissist involved.
Please come into my next Webinar
http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Debbie so you can
learn the deeper truths about what is going on here and really
use this soul-shattering experience as your springboard to make
a definitive stand for your own healing once and for all.
When we have got to the level of this sort of addiction, pain
and despair we have well and truly had a wake up call.
Narcissists serve a very powerful message in that way.
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Rene
June 12, 2015
Hi Melanie,
reading through your article leaves me more frustrating than ever,
trying to stand up for myself against n I feel so helpless, he
eventually stop drinking after 21 yrs, now on day 46 of no alcohol
and cigarettes but his mood swings and tantrums is unbearable, even
the 2 girls have this constant fear of him loosing it. Having the
support of family and friends to make it on my own but still can not
just stand up and walk out. Where do I go wrong of not being able to
make a brake through for myself?
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Rene,
did you read and understand my article in regard to the
conscious mind the logic versus the subconscious what is
really driving you?
You have wounds you need to heal Rene you need to do the inner
work.
Thats the truth.
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Rick
June 12, 2015
Thanks, you are an angel sent from heaven. Six weeks into Quantum
Healing and having thought about how much progress I have been
making, yesterday I saw how strong the addiction to the Narc is, not
as strong as it was six weeks ago, but strong enough to sort of
bring a sense of discouragement on. This post has reenergized me to
keep up the work until I am living from inner strength and solitude
in order to attract my true desires for these twilight years I am
entering.
Having, in the past, touched on many of the topics involved in this
transformation that was begun by having attracted a true seasoned
Narc, it is nice to see the pieces of the puzzle falling together to
do the real work they were intended to do.
Co-dependency is so prevalent in my generation that the thought of
how many people are living inauthentic lives is daunting. I am
removing myself from that group.
Thank you Melanie, and I thank myself for having attracted such a
seasoned Narc to bring the wakeup call to put the pieces back
together and begin my final trek.
Rick
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Rick,
I always love it when people at any stage of their life decide
that their own resurrection is worth it and put the effort it!
Kudos to you for deciding that youre worth it and that you
wish to break through and enjoy the rest of your life as your
True Self rather than keep playing it out as a Wounded Self.

Keep digging deep Rick keep doing what you are doing and
please know at those times of discouragement just when you
think REALLY! you can go inside shift something out and
then have a massive breakthrough often straight after.
Such is the beauty of this work.
Good on you for modelling healthy interdependence and being a
part of our New World.
I love that you are already at the level of gratitude to the
narc that puts you in a beautiful evolutionary position!
Bless you!
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Wurzel
June 12, 2015
Im 10 months on from splitting with my narc. Hes still in my head
most of the time.
Ive been trying so hard to work on me, and am doing fairly well in
keeping busy and reclaiming parts of my life that I lost while with
him.
But no matter how deep I try and dig into myself, i cannot find the
past part inside me thats caused me to let myself become addicted
to such an awful man. I had a great upbringing, good loving close
family. Yet my fear of abandonment and rejection must come from
somewhere.
The only traumas I have gone through in my life are all from
relationships. I have only ever loved three men and all of them have
cheated on me. No matter how much I try and dig deep into my inner
child I cant find the reason why I have allowed myself to be
treated so badly emotionally by men.
Without finding this reason I fear I have no way of getting over my
addiction to the narcissist.
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Wurzel,
when you work a definitive process and follow the process you
will at the VERY least pick up the emotional charge and energy
and release it out of your body.
Which would make a MASSIVE difference.

There are also DNA levels and historic levels that can carry
wounds in your body that may need to be accessed.
Are you trying to work it out logically?
What energetic healing process are your using to find the wound?
Are you working with the NARP Program?
http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/narc-abuse-recovery.htm
Because it is such an easy to follow process, and with Gold NARP
is the NARP Private Forum with senior shifters who will help you
with every aspect of how to find your inner wounds.
It sounds like your tool and processes are not working are not
deep enough and are not complete enough.
Or .. maybe subconsciously there is a part of you that doesnt
want to shift and that is why you are resigned to I cant /
wont find it.
Maybe you havent had enough yet of the pain to try NARP and get
help with people who work at this level of healing narcissistic
abuse pain?
If you already on NARP, and you really do want to shift past the
pain then it is time to tap into the resources of the Forum to
get assistance with this because I know 100% you can find it
and shift it.
Mel xo
Reply //
+
Wurzel
June 13, 2015
Im not on the programme. Its out of reach for me
financially, Im afraid.
I guess I am trying to think my way out of the pain. Ive
been learning loads about narcissists, reading lots about
healing and spirituality. Im slowly making progress within
myself and I no longer feel he can hurt me at the same level
he once could. I now know what he is.
My friends find him a fascinating subject. His behavior has
been so bizarre, none of us have seen anything like it
before. He has caused so much hurt.
I dont understand why Ive allowed myself to be treated and
used in the way I have.
Reply //
*
Terri
June 13, 2015
I have tried 3 times to sign up for the webinar on June 23, but have
not yet received the confirmation e-mailany suggestions?
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Terri,
please email support@melanietoniaevans.com
<mailto:support@melanietoniaevans.com> for help with this.
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Susan Peabody <http://www.brightertomorrow.net/>
June 13, 2015
In 1989, in my book Addiction to Love, I introduced the subject of
love addicts being addicted to a narcissist. I got the idea from
David Richo. Later I came to understand that narcissists can also be
love addicts, i.e. OJ Simpson. Congratulations on your book. For
those who need help I have a free message board.
http://loveaddictionforum.proboards.com/
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Susan Peabody,
most definitely narcissists are love addicts its one of the
greatest ways they get narcissistic supply is through sex and
intimate relationship.
Co-dependency and narcissism is two sides of the same coin
unconsciousness and trying to source self outside of self.
Thank you for the share of your message board.
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Jac
June 13, 2015
Hi Mel, It has been 3 years into my personal healing journey and I
am breaking free more each day. Addictions to unhealthy, toxic ppl
are melting away, with the triggers still present at times, but I
have the tools now to get in and find the root cause why I feel the
need to defend myself over and over again, lately with the same
person, (as we discussed on your fb page recently) and have
realised, I truly have to let this person go, even though she is a
family member, a choice I need to make for my own healing and
evolution. I didnt like feeling that pull back into that awful
bottomless pit, in trying to explain myself or understand why this
person is hell bent on trying to get me to react. It is pointless!
This person has severe co-dependent issues, some narc traits and is
highly addicted to whatever substance is available at the time to
mask her pain. Followed by a lot of outside solutions to make it
all better again, for a while, until it starts again. A never ending
cycle of self abuse.
I was once there too, and broke free one day when I felt like I was
going to die, after a heavy session at her house which really scared
me. I got up, got dressed, walked out the door and from then on I
started walking, breathing, and just had this smack in the face
wake up! I actually saw where I was heading if I didnt make a
drastic change. I have always had a strong self awareness and liked
myself enough at the time to want to live.
So here today, I have let this person go and hopefully one day, she
will step up and become a part of my life again in a way that is a
healthy match for my life, feeling my love and energy.
The pull to check on her fb posts is still there, but I need to go
in and heal those addictions.
The best way I found is to work with QFH-Narp.
The addictive process to toxic ppl started from a young age, I was
set up to be in an anxious state from age 2, by my narcissistic
father, and along the way I met narc, after narc, until I met the
one 3 years ago who really gave me the wake up that I needed to
change forever.
That life is gone, the new life begins. Love and hugs xx
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Jac,
The Field (Life) is always so supportive in supplying us

everything via situations and people to show us where we are at.
We have just lately been in huge energy shifts where stuff
that needs to be healed is getting flushed to the surface even
MORE than usual.
So this was, as always, a huge blessing getting that trigger
and allowing you to re-define yourself.
And, as you have learnt the best way to re-define yourself is
to work on emotion first go to that trigger deep within your
body, find it, meet it, release it and then allow the organic
clarity to replace it.
And then within that authenticity and love that comes
through you know what to do you know how not to hold people
responsible for your boundaries and know how to be authentic in
life with others and most of all with ourselves.
Its great if you know her level of consciousness is not healthy
to be around it is is also totally OKAY if she NEVER rises up
to meet you at a healthier level.
Because her journey is her journey and no matter how it looks it
is PERFECT for her given how she sees herself and who she is
presently being.
She is NOT your job Jac, youre your job.
So love and bless and release her without judgement and dont
feel bad for her her and Life and playing it all out
beautifully and perfectly.
I believe that is next level you need to evolve towards total
acceptance of allowing people to fully be themselves because
THAT is unconditional love.
And of course that includes moving on if they are toxic
No-one owes you Jac .. and you dont owe them.
For all of us it is between us and Life / God.
Leave it there
Mel xo
Reply //
+
Jac
June 14, 2015
Yes Agreed :) I have felt lighter, letting her go, however
long it will be before we reconnect if ever and under what
circumstances it will be in is unknown. Two ppl need to be
on the same wavelength and level of conscience for an

authentic connection to happen. We can no longer relate to
each other, since I left that toxic circle of self abuse.
From now on, I am continuing to focus on healing myself, as
while maintaining my level of compassion and empathy for
her, but also for others, without the need to try to help or
fix them. My sister is trying to fix her daughter, who is
following the same path of self abuse, but of course, as I
have learned that wont work. While doing this, she is
draining her own energy making life that much more difficult
for her own recovery. In the past, I have sent her your
articles, relating to things that she may find useful to
help her, but she hasnt shown any interest in them. She
asked me, so I did all I could to help. It is her job now
and my job, as you said, to focus on myself and clear the
triggers keeping me addicted to this endless cycle.
Yes also agree that allowing ppl to be themselves is
unconditional love. I am a big believer of this and most of
the time that is how I am and allow ppl to just be
themselves. I also believe my sister and others need to do
the same for me. It goes both ways.
Something I was pondering on the other day, I found
interesting how most ppl (in the way society functions)
see the ones who focus on themselves, live a healthy life,
do the work to better themselves as selfish and
self-serving and for the ones that put others first,
neglecting themselves, are seen as selfless It should be
the other way around. As my mother said, regarding a great
auntshe always put others before herself, and was so
selfless. My aunt ended up very ill from the stress of self
neglect because of it.
As for me personally, it is only their opinion and I know
myself much better now so dont need other approval, family
or not. I back myself 100%.
xx Love and hugs.
Reply //
*
abrown
June 13, 2015
What a wake-up call. I was wondering why l was rehashing the past
dramas with my narc. Thought l l was helping relieve the turmoil l
went through. But l understand it was fueling an addiction. My
addiction. Thank you for this truth that l needed to hear. I am
helping my daughter with this information.
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015

Hi abrown,
I am so pleased this helped.
As a mother I really want to say this to you.
The most powerful way you can ever help your daughter is FULLY
helping yourself RATHER than telling her.
Trust me that is the absolute truth on that topic.
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Jane
June 13, 2015
Extremely powerful. Thank you, Melanie
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Jane,
I am so glad that helped and youre welcome :)
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Serendipity
June 13, 2015
Melanie!!!! Just the biggest THANK YOU to you that you can imagine
filled with love appreciation and more love
I could tell you my journey from rock bottom and considering ending
my life to now but I feel I just want to let You know you have
unknowingly helped me so much along my way back to finding me and
now I can finally say I feel like I am home and free!
Sending you the biggest hugs and thank yous
Serendipity xxx
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Serendipity,
I am so pleased you have found your way back to you.
Much love back to you
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Alexandra Wolf
June 13, 2015
Hi Melanie,
AMAZING article!! Thank you so much!!
I am trying to reserve my spot for your next web chat and it will
not send me a confirmation. I also tried emailing you but your site
email address would not come up. Please help!
Thanks so much!
Alexandra
Reply //
o
June 13, 2015
Hi Alexandra,
I am so pleased the article resonated :)
Email support@melanietoniaevans.com
<mailto:support@melanietoniaevans.com> and someone will help you
get sorted!
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Max
June 14, 2015
Ive signed up for these webinars before, but never receive a link
of where to go to participate in them. Is there a specific web
address, URL, link, etc., we can have in advance to lead us straight
to the webinar before it begins?
Reply //
o
June 14, 2015
Hi Max,
there is a limit of one sign up per email address.
You should have received confirmation email for the very first one.
Then there is a series of emails you receive including for
actual Webinar.
Email support@melanietoniaevans.com
<mailto:support@melanietoniaevans.com> in order to secure a
place this time, or use a different email address.
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Beth
June 15, 2015
I printed this out. Im going to read it very carefully. I am
struggling with this addiction. Its been over 12 years since I left
my Narc. boyfriend. I married a very nice man and there is no drama,
and also no real sexual passion. And I was doing ok, shoving the
pain and the hurt down deep, ignoring it. Until this spring, I miss
him. I miss the passion. I may even miss the pain. I contacted him.
And he is lovebombing me severely. In some ways I dont want to get
over him. The physical attraction was insanely strong. I know I am
addicted. I moved 2000 miles away so I would not go back because I
know this relationship is toxic and would destroy me again. There
seems to be an everlasting supply of pain that pours out of me. I am
trying to get where I was a year ago. Where I was not thinking about
him every day.
Reply //
o
June 19, 2015
Hi Beth,
I so understand those terrible pulls and addictions please
come into my next free Webinar to find out how to heal from this.
Mel xo
Reply //
*
aga
June 16, 2015
Hello Melanie,
thank you very much for your work.. its very very helpful and
youve been through a lot When you wrote about your second narc I
thought he was like my first narcand hopefully the lastfortunately
I have had no contact with him for last 3 months and I getting
better each day.. I read a lot, learn to take care of myself,
started practicing mindfulness techniquesit really feels like Im
in detox although it wasnt as bad as it might have been because
we live in different countries.. no contact is easier
Much thxs and be well :)
Reply //
o
June 19, 2015
Hi Aga,
you are very welcome keep healing and keep going .. this is
all about coming home to yourself.
Mel xo
Reply //
*
Jean
June 16, 2015
Thank you so much for the wealth of knowledge and your obvious
passion toward the mission of authentic healing!
I am in process of divorcing a covert narcissist who was very kind,
shy and seemingly dedicated to both my son(his stepson) and me for
the past 14 years, he was also incredibly passive aggressive and
full of rage. Upon my son leaving the house for college, I began to
explore my own interests and freedom choice which was different from
our years with the three of us in the home. I had learned in our
first few years of marriage that I should avoid his rage and horrid
words and my unhealthy solution was to make feeble and exhausting
attempts to fix, work harder, ignore and more to keep the
peace for my son.
The last 6 months brought serious name calling and two physical rage
incidents which quite literally knocked me over the head that it

was time that I packed up and left. Im currently working diligently
with therapy, mediation, inner child work to heal the serious wounds
both current and ancient.
My 20 year old son is absolutely shattered with loss of a man that
has been in his life for almost 16 years and in utter disbelief how
the physical abuse could have taken place. He is strongly supporting
(demanded in some ways) the divorce being initiated and very clearly
told me that if I were to ever consider returning in anyway to that
relationship, he would have no respect for me and would not come to
my home. He has committed to therapy and has no contact with my
almost ex-husband.
My question to you is what type of support, guidance, and
direction should I offer to my son? Ive discussed my own view of
this devastation being a huge gift to me personally but at this
point he is struggling to see it that way not only for me but for
himself. As a mother, Im sure you are aware of the heart strings
that are pulled when our children suffer and I am open to guidance
in the area of healing support for him too.
Gratefully Jean
Reply //
o
June 19, 2015
Hi Jean,
you are very welcome.
I am very, very passionate about how we can help our children
heal bu=y leading the way
And I did articles / radio shows specifically on this
Another group just posted this series and they are also a
wonderful group to connect to:
http://www.winningsolutionsforindigos.com/2015/06/18/parents-empoweringthemselves-for-their-childrens-sake/
I hope this helps.
Mel xo
Reply //
*
CK
June 17, 2015
CK
June 15, 2015

I spent 19 months with a narcissistic woman , I met her in AA, a
breeding ground for codependent people, I was picked as I was told
by her, you were the best of the bunch.
I grew up in a alcoholic home, my father or shall I say lack of a
father, molested me at 10, prior to that and after ofcourse I lived
in fear continuously of him , I could never do enough good in his eyes.
So many traits he had, she had , I was promised the world and am
left with nothing but trying to real in this pain, I agree , we see
the greatest amount of light in our darkest moments and Im trying
so hard to tap into it.
I have read that bipolars are like narcissists and I was diagnosed
as one at the age of 26, I am now 42 with just lithium as medicine.
I did act terribly in a marriage I was in from 26 to 30 with
narcissistic traits, I seeked help, divorced myself from the
marriage I was in with two young daughters , my daughters and former
wife are well and healthy , she is remarried but my own struggles
continued, my relationship with my children remained , I vowed never
to be like my father to them and can say I am not.
I levelled off and became somewhat stable in my emotions at the age
of 32, I have awareness and although predominately I am manic , I
can see , hear , when I am leading myself astray although it is
still hard to make the right decisions all of the time, my gut told
me always with the woman I was with, this is so off that my body
even sexually without assistance from drugs could not cope.
I relate so much to all that is written , I was at one time the
beast but became the prey to this woman , I have been called the
worst of the worst , told the worst of the worst, had the worst of
the worst happen to me, I said to myself , this is your karma , take it!
I have relapsed back into alcohol , cigarettes like no tomorrow , I
want so badly to go into my subconscious , the wounds are severe , I
keep thinking of her and what shes doing, I just want to think
about me.
She cyber bullied my eldest 15 year old daughter , its insane.
That hurt in my stomach wont go away , I have no contact and am
keeping it but still , I need to tap in to get this hurt away!!!
I have learned so much in life about how horrible it was to be once
me by seeing what she was doing to me.
We agreed one night over a campfire to drink again , we talked about
it at length before it happened , prior to running to the liquor
store to buy beer, I said , lets flip a coin to be sure , tails we
drink , heads we dont , it was tails , so she said best of three ,
tails again , tails again , I said one more time to really test fate
, tails again!
I ran to the store , came back , opened the beers and said cheers ,
I took a sip, she looked at me and said , Im not drinking .
She encouraged me to drink the rest which I did , as I drank and
became intoxicated she began to manipulate me with questions so as

to see if my inhibitions dropped., it was calous.
Im trying and all of this is helping but as a fellow addict , I
always want it fixed right now!
I am very happy I found your site Melanie.
Reply //
*
Valerie
June 19, 2015
Hi CK,
Blessings to you.
Reply //
o
June 19, 2015
CK,
I would love you to come into my next webinar, so that you can
understand how to heal the wounds that are fuelling your
addictive nature and pain.
There is a lot of ground to cover regarding this its a really
big conversation (too big) for here.
Mel xo
Reply //
*
ruth
June 26, 2015
my goodness.I am hearing you so clearly, I am smacked by this. You
are not well, you are addicted.well, I just caved in to another
narc for a brief time. He is so a narcand he wooed me for over a
year. But I have tools now, I know I will emerge on the other side.
It is another chance to plunge into the pain and release from my
soul the need for love from another. I am clear that want and need
are vastly different. Need is my addiction, and want is my rightful
desire. And I would love to hear you write something about
attachment issues as they are deeply part of this discourse. Anxious
people frequently bond to avoidants, and it wreaks havoc. Anxious
attachment folks need to bond with secure folks. That is the only
way, if you want to be in an intimate relationship. But maybe you
have something else to add. You are a beautiful soul. Thank you for
being here.
Reply //
*
Carol Anne
June 27, 2015
About three years ago, my best friend was suspecting her husband for
infidelity. Later she found out that he was cheating her with a work
colleague. I always wondered how she found out especially that the
husband was always present. After 2 years I found out from her that
she installed a stealth monitoring app on his phone and read all his
messages.
Does anyone use this kind of software? http://goo.gl/H3Lvjh I only
heard about it in James Bond movies. I was thinking to install one
on my teenage daughters phone. Shes beginning to leave home, not
saying where shes going and Im afraid that soon she will be
skipping her classes too.
Reply //
*
Tia
July 6, 2015
Hello Mel and thank you for the article. Just days after reading it
I had a brief run in with my childrens father, my
ex-narc/ex-husband. I had been completely NC for almost two months
because I noticed that every time I spoke to him, even though it was
about our children, I would end up in a raw emotional state. I would
cry and be practically unconsolable for hours. Once I went NC I was
able to put things into persepective with regard to who he really is
and what I needed to do for myself and my own emotional wounds and
recovery. The day I saw him I said hello, how are you? Just so I
would not be rude. He did not say anything to me. No reply. No
acknowledgement. That is his way of punishing me because he is angry
at me. He blames me because our children dont want to have a
relationship with his new girlfriend (that he moved in with after
knowing her for one month). They refused to go out with him when he
came to visit them and he brought her with him. They told him prior
to that encounter that they did not want to spend time with the two
of them. He barely sees them and when he does they prefer to just be
with him. They also know that their father and his new girlfriend
have been cruel and mean to me since they met and he started living
with her. I tried to reach out to him and begged him to help me with
our children and he told me not to contact him unless it was a real
emergency. I tried to speak to him once at his job because I was
going away for three weeks and I wanted to know that he would look
in on our children. I also wanted to make sure that we were on at
least speaking terms because I was leaving the country and I did not
feel right in my spirit knowing that things between us had gotten so
bad that we could not speak even about our children. His girlfriend
showed up while I was waiting to speak to him and she screamed and
yelled at me to leave them alone and to get over it. I said he is
the father of my four children and she replied just build a bridge
and get over it. He lives with me. He is MY life. Their father had
several affairs while we were married. I did not know about them but
one of them produced a child who is the same age as my youngest son.
My children find his behavior and his treatment of me, not to
mention the fact that he walked out on them, diffict to deal with.
But they still try to maintain some sort of relationship with him. I
know I should not have given any of my energy to him either by
saying hello or by getting upset afterwards. I have been upset ever
since because I feel as though he is angry at me for a situation he
created. I know I should not focus on his behavior and I re-read the
article and saw myself in what you said but this is a very difficult
struggle. This individual will be in my childrens lives forever and
I have to hear about him and listen to their discussions regarding
their interactions with him but I dont want this high-conflict,
selfish, lying, cheating, narcissist and his energy to touch my life
even remotely. How do I accomplish this?
Reply //
*
GM
July 16, 2015
Hi Mel! Your blog is so beautifully written and has been enlightening!
Something I am struggling with, after leaving a narc 3 wks ago after
6 yearsas I made up my mind to leave the relationship, I discovered
through friends that he had been lying and unfaithful repeatedly. He
was verbally abusive to me and his coworkers. No one could tell me
because they worked for the narc and didnt want to jeopardize their
job. When I approached him, he admitted he had lied to me many times
(no specifics), but did not have a relationship with anyone else at
the same time as with me. I put the pieces of the puzzle together
and realized every time he would be verbally abusive, and I would
stand up to him and return home, he would then seek another partner
until I came back to him time and time again. Then he would break it
off with the new partner. My question is how to convince myself that
I didnt know who he was all along and it wasnt my fault? I just
wish I had known who he really was because I would have walked away.
Thanks Mel :) Your thoughts please?
Reply //
*
JS
October 4, 2015
I love your blog, Melanie..
Its all too easy to become fixated on what the Narc did to us and
forget why it happened in the first place.
Youre a breath of fresh air. Thank you
Reply //
*
Jo
October 5, 2015
What if Im a narcissist as well? My partner, who am I trying
desperately to separate from, is without doubt a narcissist & Ive
certainly been abused by himbut whilst reading your articles, I
find myself also seeing parallels to my life & the way I have abused
& manipulated him.
What if we are both addicted to each other in this abusive cycle?
Reply //
*
Andrew
March 3, 2016
Theres no doubt it is an addition, much like cigarettes, and Im
glad to find it addressed this way. I had been able to recognize my
thoughts about the narcissist (formerly) in my life as an addiction,
but this has also helped me to understand the emotional basis. I was
the only child of a NPD mother, and had developed strong defenses so
I could have life, but apparently some of the childhood wounds are
still there. I see that I need to identify those and reprogram my
subconscious to lose my vulnerability
Reply //
Leave a Reply Cancel reply

<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-it-means-to-be-addicted-to-a-narci
ssist-and-how-to-break-free-from-it/#respond>
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
Name *
Email *
Website
Comment
Empowered Love Radio <http://www.blogtalkradio.com/empowered-love> Join
us on facebook
<https://www.facebook.com/pages/Melanie-Tonia-Evans/137377772251>
Subscribe to Feed <http://feeds.feedburner.com/melanietoniaevans> Follow
us on Twitter <http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Empowered-Love> Watch us on
Youtube <http://www.youtube.com/user/MelanieToniaEvans>
<#small-dialog>
3 Keys To Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Webinar
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/thankyou-step2.html> Empowered Love

Radio with Melanie
<http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Empowered-Love> Quanta Freedom Healing for
blog teal
My Facebook Page
Recent Posts
art-2/>
art-1/>
* Is There A Right Way To Leave A Narcissist?
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/is-there-a-right-way-to-leave-a-narcissis
t/>
* How Nora Triumphed Depsite All Odds Thriver Story #30
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/thriver-story-30-nora/>
* A Deeper Look At Idolise, Devalue, Discard The 3 Phases Of
Narcissistic Abuse Part 2
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/a-deeper-look-at-idolise-devalue-discardthe-3-phases-of-narcissistic-abuse-part-2/>
Popular Posts
* Hoovering How The Narcissist Tricks You Into
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/hoovering-how-the-narcissist-tricks-you-i
nto-breaking-no-contact/>
* How to Make the Narcissist Powerless to Affect Your Life
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-make-the-narcissist-powerless-to-a
ffect-your-life/>
* Has the Narcissist Really Moved On And Having A Great Life?
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/has-the-narcissist-really-moved-on-and-ha
ving-a-great-life/>
* How to Overcome The Pathological Lies Of The Narcissist And
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/overcome-pathological-lies-narcissist-win
-divorce-settlement-and-custody-battles/>
* How The Narcissist Projects His/Her Behaviour Onto You
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-the-narcissist-projects-hisher-behavi
our-onto-you/>
* The Real Reason Why The Narcissist Punishes You
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-real-reason-why-the-narcissist-punish
es-you/>
* Is He or She Really A Narcissist? Laying Boundaries and
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/is-he-or-she-really-a-narcissist-laying-b
oundaries-and-accountability/>
* Trying to Make the Narcissist Accountable is Keeping You
<http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/trying-to-make-the-narcissist-accountable
-is-keeping-you-hooked/>
Courses
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/narc-abuse-recovery.htm>
Empowered Self Course
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/empoweredself-course.html>
Transforming Family Of Origin Wounds Course
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/transforming-family-of-origin-woundscourse.htm>
NARP Members Forum
<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member/>
Archives
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
March 2016 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2016/03/>

February 2016 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2016/02/>
December 2015 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2015/12/>
November 2015 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2015/11/>
October 2015 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2015/10/>
September 2015 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2015/09/>
August 2015 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2015/08/>
July 2015 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2015/07/>
June 2015 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2015/06/>
May 2015 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2015/05/>
April 2015 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2015/04/>
January 2015 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2015/01/>
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

Join the community of over 50,000 people and receive your free New Life
Starter Package
* Blog Home <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/>
* Website Home <http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/>
Copyright 2007- 2014 Meltonia Enterprises Pty Ltd. All Rights Reserved.
<#top>

What It Means To Be Addicted To A Narcissist - and How To Break Free From It - Narcissism Recovery and Relationships Blog

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

What It Means To Be Addicted To A Narcissist - and How To Break Free From It - Narcissism Recovery and Relationships Blog

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Melanie Tonia Evans

Narcissism and Relationships Blog <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/>

I have never written an article /specifically /on this topic and I

What Does Addiction to the Narcissist Mean?

The Symptoms of Addiction

to source comfort from other people in unhealthy ways.

What Makes Us Susceptible To Being Addicted To Narcissists?

Powerlessness With Addiction

making choices from an inner state of disconnection and anxiety, the

sugar which contributes greatly

Its like trying to beat an elephant stampeded with an ant.

They are literally /addicted to the chemicals of grief, victimhood,

Addiction is the Symptom

My Journey With Detoxifying the Addiction to Narcissists

The Three Choices With Addiction

Choosing to Touch the Previous Addiction

The following two tabs change content below.

Your Free New Life Starter Pack

Find out if someone in your life has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Two free ebooks on signing up

We value your privacy. Your information will

56 Thoughts on What It Means To Be Addicted To A Narcissist

answers and in turn opened up a huge Pandoras box from him of

best until we liberate ourselves through the painful

It was affecting my health, I was getting sick. People would say

Mels program is so wonderful. If you work it, you will find

Melanie Tonia Evans <http://melanietoniaevans.com/>

True Self rather than keep playing it out as a Wounded Self.

Which would make a MASSIVE difference.

The Field (Life) is always so supportive in supplying us

on the same wavelength and level of conscience for an

June 13, 2015

incidents which quite literally knocked me over the head that it

June 15, 2015

became intoxicated she began to manipulate me with questions so as

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

<http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/thankyou-step2.html> Empowered Love

March 2016 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2016/03/>

May 2013 <http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/2013/05/>

You might also like