Enneagram Type 9 - The

Peacemaker
Keeping peace and harmony

People of this personality type

essentially feel a need for peace and harmony. They tend to
avoid conflict at all costs, whether it be internal or
interpersonal. As the potential for conflict in life is virtually
ubiquitous, the Nine's desire to avoid it generally results in
some degree of withdrawal from life, and many Nines are, in
fact, introverted. Other Nines lead more active, social lives,
but nevertheless remain to some to degree "checked out,"
or not fully involved, as if to insulate themselves from
threats to their peace of mind. Most Nines are fairly easy
going; they adopt a strategy of "going with the flow." They
are generally reliable, sturdy, self-effacing, tolerant and
likable individuals.
Nines tend to adopt an optimistic approach to life; they are,
for the most part, trusting people who see the best in
others; they frequently have a deep seated faith that things
will somehow work out. They desire to feel connected, both
to other people and to the world at large. They frequently
feel most at home in nature and generally make warm and
attentive parents.
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The Nine's inability to tolerate conflict sometimes translates

into an overall conservative approach to change. Change
can provoke unpleasant feelings and disrupt the Nine's
desire for comfort. Less healthy Nines seem incapable of
motivating themselves to move into action and bring about
effective change. When change does come however, as it
generally will, Nines find that they are usually well able to
adapt. They tend to be more resilient than they give
themselves credit for. In fact, Nines tend not to give
themselves enough credit in general, and their self-effacing
attitude often seems to invite others to take them for
granted or to overlook their often significant contributions.
This can cause a subterranean anger to build inside the
Nine's psyche, which can erupt into consciousness in
occasional fits of temper which quickly blow over, but which
more often manifests itself in passive agressive
footdragging. Being overlooked is often a source of a deep
sadness in Nines, a sadness that they scarcely ever give
voice to.
Nines frequently mistype themselves as they have a rather
diffuse sense of their own identities. This is exacerbated by
the fact that Nines often merge with their loved ones and
through a process of identification take on the
characteristics of those closest to them. Female Nines
frequently mistype as Twos, especially if they are the
mothers are small children. Nines, however, are selfeffacing whereas Twos are quite aware of their own self
worth. Nines also mistake themselves for Fours, but Nines
tend to avoid negative emotions whereas Fours often
exacerbate them. Intellectual Nines, especially males,
frequently mistype as Fives, but Fives are intellectually
contentious whereas Nines are conciliatory and conflict
avoidant.

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TYPE NINE: THE MEDIATOR

Nines need to avoid conflict and tension. They want to preserve harmony
with others (or at least with key others) and to keep peace whatever the
cost. They are often suite capable of ignoring anything which might disturb
this essential harmony. They also prefer things to remain stable, and they
resist change or disruption.
Nines need to avoid conflict and tension. They want to preserve harmony
with others (or at least with key others) and to keep peace whatever the
cost. They are often suite capable of ignoring anything which might disturb
this essential harmony. They also prefer things to remain stable, and they
resist change or disruption.
Possible Origins. Nines felt overlooked as children and as a consequence
formed the habit of discounting their own essential needs. They describe
family situations that range from neglect to being overshadowed by
siblings to being ignored or attacked when they stood up for their own
ideas. What is common to all of these childhood prototypes is the sense of
not being listened to when an opinion was put forward and realizing that
showing anger directly did not get their opinion heard.
Nines felt overlooked as children and as a consequence formed the habit of
discounting their own essential needs. They describe family situations that
range from neglect to being overshadowed by siblings to being ignored or
attacked when they stood up for their own ideas. What is common to all of
these childhood prototypes is the sense of not being listened to when an
opinion was put forward and realizing that showing anger directly did not
get their opinion heard.

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Flawed Nines. Nines tend to ignore a problem rather than risk disturbing
what they perceive as a stable situation. They often do harm to others and
to themselves by refusing to deal with problems. They may also be passive,
even lazy and overly dependent on external stimuli. Or they may
procrastinate or stick to routine so as to avoid conflict and vitality. As
managers, they tend to play a custodial or stand-pat role.
Well-Adapted Nines are those who have achieved a strong sense of
themselves as individuals. They become masters of their fate and develop
an active orientation to life. They remain peaceful individuals but do not
turn away from problems. They are the most trusting of all the types and
the most trusted. Their love of harmony makes them ideal mediators.
As managers, they are good at preserving what is best about an
organization. They are stable individuals who have a calming influence--an
asset in times of change and disruption. They are highly interested in
putting back together what gets rent asunder in their organization. They
restore the equilibrium. In playing this role, they shed their relative
passivity and learn to take the initiative and to take stands. They gain
confidence in their ability to contribute, but they rarely become arrogant.
Occupations. Nines, because of their excellent mediating skills, make
good arbitrators and counselors. In groups they play an important part of
harmonizes, bringing peace and calm. As managers, they keep the
bureaucracy functioning--jobs that depend on routine, protocol, and
recognized procedures. They also are good a playing integrator roles, as
between functions or divisions or locations.

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Finding Oneself.
Nines probably will agree with most of the following statements:
1. I often have difficulty in saying "no."
2. Most things in life aren't worth getting upset about.
3. I find that I often dip in and out Of conversations, thinking of several
things at once.
4. The most important things to be done are left to the end Of the day.
5. While there are some differences, I feel most people are pretty much
the same.
6. I hate to waste energy. I look for energy-saving approaches to things.
7. I become very stubborn when I feel pushed by others.
8. I can be a dispassionate arbiter because one side is as good as the
other.
9. I'm really sensitive about having my efforts overlooked, criticized,
discounted.
10.I tend to play things down to get other people settled down.

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Enneagram Type 9: The

Mediator
Lost essential quality: Unconditional love, with everyone of equal importance,
belonging and regard.
Compensating belief: The world makes you unimportant, requires that you blend
in.
Attention/coping strategy: Forgetting yourself and seeking belonging. Getting
pulled away from personal priorities by external claims.
Trap: Seeking outside of yourself for comfort and harmony.
Driving energy: An inertia (sloth) toward yourself. Energy going into other people
and many substitutes for your own priorities.
Avoidance: Conflict and discomfort, by going along to get along to avoid being
dismissed.
Strengths: Excellent mediator, understanding, caring and supportive of others,
adaptive.
Paradox: Neglecting yourself in pursuit of comfort produces discomfort.
Path of development:

Make self important

Set own boundaries, limits, priorities

Love self as well as others

Accept discomfort and change as part of life

Ultimate task: Everyone belongs equally in a state of unconditional love and

union.

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Type 9: The Mediator

Pulled by environmental claims
In what ways did I just go along with others agendas? How did I forget myself by
merging into others? When did I get sidetracked into secondary pursuits such as
chores and familiar or habitual things? What happened to my real priorities?
Basis: Feeling unimportant or needing to blend in as a way of coping, Nines
attention goes toward what or who is around them and away from themselves and
their own priorities.
Indecision and resistance
Have I been trying to sort out all the different points of view? Going over equally
compelling details or concepts? When did I drag my feet or feel my resistance? How
have I alternated between complying and opposing? How did my anger come up?
Stubbornness?
Basis: Because Nines focus on others views, they are often inattentive to their own
perspective and become indecisive or stubborn.
Comfort/discomfort
How have I been influenced by wanting things to be comfortable? Familiar? How did
I respond when tension or discomfort came up? When conflict emerged?
Basis: Nines settle for going along to get along as coping strategy to bring comfort
and satisfaction. Conflict naturally interferes with this strategy.

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Type 9: The Mediator

The Basic Proposition
You lost sight of the fundamental principle that everyone belongs equally in a state
of unconditional love and union. You came to believe instead that the world treats
people as unimportant for who they are, and you can gain belonging and comfort
by attending to and merging with others and by dispersing energy into substitute
objects. At the same time, you developed inertia (self-forgetting) about your own
priorities and limits. Your attention naturally goes to others and to the environment
around you.
The central issue for healing
All of us, not just Mediators, sometimes focus on the environment around us and
experience ourselves as reacting primarily to people and events outside ourselves.
For Mediators, the central issue is losing touch with their inner separate self in favor
of adapting to the environment and merging with others. Mediators struggle
fundamentally with gaining or reclaiming a separate self.
Your main task is to become awake and alive to yourself literally to love yourself
from a personal reference point that has no substitute. Your path to healing is to
establish your own priorities and timelines instead of falling into comfortable
secondary pursuits, and to resist becoming overly influenced by others.
Six healing and growth commitments for Type Nines:

Practice loving yourself as you would others

Take responsibility for your own well-being and value

Reclaim a separate self

Establish and adhere to your own agenda and priorities

Welcome discomfort and conflict

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Recognize anger in its many forms and see it as a signal that you are feeling
violated

Personal Growth Recommendations

for Enneagram Type Nines

It is worth examining your type's tendency to go along with others, doing

what they want to keep the peace and be nice. Will constantly acquiescing to
the wishes of others provide the kind of relationships that will really satisfy
you? Remember, it is impossible to love others if you are not truly present to
them. This means that you have to be yourself, that you (paradoxically)
have to be independent so that you can really be there for others when they
need you.

Exert yourself. Force yourself to pay attention to what is going on. Do not
drift off or tune out people, or daydream. Work on focusing your attention to
become an active participant in the world around you. Try to become more
mentally and emotionally engaged.

Recognize that you also have aggressions, anxieties, and other feelings that
you must deal with. Negative feelings and impulses are a part of you and
they affect you emotionally and physically whether or not you acknowledge
them. Furthermore, your negative emotions are often expressed
inadvertently and get in the way of the peace and harmony you want in your
relationships. It is best to get things out in the open first, at least by
allowing yourself to become aware of your feelings.

Although this will be very painful for you, if your marriage has ended in
divorce or if you are having problems with your children, you must honestly
examine how you have contributed to these problems. Examining troubled
relationships will be extremely difficult because the people involved have
been close to your heart. The feelings you have for others endow you with
much of your identity and self-esteem. But if you really love others, you can
do no less than examine the role you have played in whatever conflicts that
have arisen. In the last analysis, the choice is simple: you must sacrifice
your peace of mind (in the short run) for the satisfaction of genuine
relationships (in the long run.)

Exercise frequently to become more aware of your body and emotions.

(Some Nines run around doing errands and think that they are getting
enough exercise.) Regular exercise is a healthy form of self-discipline and
will increase your awareness of your feelings and other sensations.
Developing body-awareness will help teach you to concentrate and focus
your attention in other areas of your life as well. Exercise is also a good way
to get in touch with and express some aggressions.

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Type 9. Peacemaker
The Peacemaker (the Nine)
Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world
around them.
How to Get Along with Me

If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't

like expectations or pressure.

I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advatage of this.

Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.

Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently
and nonjudgmentally.

Ask me questions to help me get clear.

Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.

Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.

I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.

Let me know you like what I've done or said.

Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a Nine

being nonjudgmental and accepting

caring for and being concerned about others

being able to relax and have a good time

knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around

my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator

and facilitator

my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now

being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a Nine

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being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive

being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline

being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of
the mouth personally

being confused about what I really want

caring too much about what others will think of me

not being listened to or taken seriously

Nines as Children Often

feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant

tune out a lot, especially when others argue

are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

Nines as Parents

are supportive, kind, and warm

are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Dynamics of Type 9: Peacemaker

World View: My efforts won't matter to the world. It's best to keep the peace.
Basic Desire: to find union and peace
Basic Fear: of separation

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Healthy loop controlled by Basic Desire:

Need to find union -> accept others -> do the right thing -> Need to find union
In the healthy state, the need to find union induces Type Nines to genuinely open up to
others and accept them as they are. Others often find their acceptance welcoming and
build up a strong bond or union. This way, Nines' need are satisfied and a balance is
reached.
In the average state, when Nines' are less accepting of others or the world, which means
the union begins to weaken. This causes the the need to find union to increase, which
helps Nines to again become more accepting of others. Thus the balancing loop can help
Nines to recover.

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Unhealthy loop controlled by Basic Fear:

Fear of separation -> illusions of union -> accommodating -> union -> Fear of
separation
In the unhealthy state, the basic fear of separation can cause Type Nines to delude
themselves with illusions of union, which they sustain by ignoring reality and blindly
accommodating others or the world. Unfortunately, this means they won't achieve true
union, which further increases Nines' basic fear. The cycle continues to build up.
Insight:
We can see from the diagram that a way to help break the control of the basic fear is to
weaken the unhealthy loop. Nines can stop indulging in illusions of union, and start to
really accept others. This will build real union, and reduce the fear of separation.

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