Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Table of Contents
Introduction Sexuality as a journey...2
Ch1. La natura sessuata della persona. 3
1. From genetic sex to psychological
sex.....................................................4
2. Puberty..........................................4
3. The Menstrual cycle.....................4
4. Linee prospettiche (i.e.
'overview'?).......................................7
Ch2. La cultura sessuata della persona. 9
1. Primitive femminism and
maschilismo (masculism).................9
2. Monogamy and family................10
3. The Role of Women....................10
4. The influence of Christianity and
the synthesis of St Thomas.............12
5. The Sexual Revolution and the
contemporary panorama.................13
6. Corteggiamento (courting) e la
cultura.............................................18
7. Linee prospettiche.......................19
Ch3. Sexuality among the dimensions
of the human person............................20
1. The dimensions of sexuality.......21
2. Sex education..............................29
Ch4. Sexuality as a vocation to love...33
1. The meaning of sexuality in the
theology of love..............................34
2. A digression: sexual pleasure......38
3. Modesty and chastity: ways to a
mature sexuality..............................39
4. Linee prospettiche.......................42
Conclusions.........................................43
Today's society:
We have lost the sense of morality: after the sexual revolution, to speaks of
morals of sexuality seems old-fashioned.
There is now a new pansexuality,
there has emerged a new problem the sex addiction epidemic
Our free sexual society has become a sick sexual society.
Affects 9 million Americans, 5% of the population.
Affects 40 million Internet users who daily access hardcore pornography.
Zygmunt Bauman:
the Postmodern erotism is separated from reproduction as well as from love
one of the effects is depression, according to numerous studies.
Sex is the one and true obsession of our society: Relationships without sex
seem absurd to many today.
Today's reductionism:
The study of Sexuality has been reduced to the investigation of pleasure.
There is a need to rediscover its rich anthropology.
This book's methodology:
we use a different method: this is not a manual, but a journey.
Aim is to find the fundamentals of Christian ethics of sexuality.
Analogy = Moses who contemplates the Promised land from Mount Nebo without
entering it.
We explore the discoveries of biology, cultural anthropology, philosophy and
theology.
We then arrive at the peak, and we will contemplate the promised land.
We will see that sexuality is not a mish-mash of systems (biooogcial,
psychologial, spiritual) in conflict, but a harmony of different levels, orientated
towards a promise written in our being the possibility of loving.
The title of this book taken from Deut 6,5., the start of the famous prayer, the
shema'
2
Amerai is a gift and task (Gabe and Ausgabe) that Israel learnt to recognize
as part of God's salvific action.
Gift and task:
Gabe and Aufgabe: characterises all creation.
Need to live sexuality as love, as it was intended, created that is natural love,
a gift and a challenge to live it in its fullness.
God has given us the dignity of being able to be instruments of his love.
The task of each of us is to live a sexuality that is at the service of love.
This text is against every reductionist vision of sexuality.
It is not only biological, cultural, philosophical or theological.
Sexuality is spiritual and bodily. Both. Hence it is part of moral theology, which
deals with the science that best deals with the senses.
There will be lyrics from songs as the beginning of each chapter, to help us
realise that we are talking about a reality that not is not abstract or theoretical,
but lived. This includes the beauty of its expression in music (or other arts), and
helps us to be open to the emotional reality . We can remain only at the
intellectual level, but this would not allow a complete investigation of sexuality.
The human person is ontologically 'sexed'. Sex (male or female) is an essential part of
our nature.
Human sexuality has two sources natural and cultural.
Need to consider biological, psychological and cultural factors. These should be
considered together and never separated.
2. Puberty.
Two phases
6
Animals on the other hand only have sexual relations during the female's fertile
period, this is not the same for males.
Thus sexual relations in animals are determined merely by hormonal changes in
us, it is subject to the human will: we have liberty.
Mammals typically show external signs of their fertile periods, not so in humans.
Hence our biology encourages us to have stable relationships with partners in
order to be fertile.
In humans, the female breast is also more evident than in other female mammals. It
plays a more important sexual role than it does in males, independently of its role in
lactation.
Most mammals are diurnal (active in the daytime):
mammals have sexual relations in the day and 'publicly' without any
'embarrassment',
nocturnal mammals at night.
We on the other hand, usually have sexual relations during the night, and it is
an extremely private and intimate affair.
Another peculiarity is 'parenting'.
In mammals, it typically finishes when the offspring are autonomous and
sexually mature.
In humans, the parent-child relationship remains throughout life.
In summary, sexuality is more linked to liberty in humans, and less mechanically
linked to fertility as it is in other mammals.
In this area of maximum liberty, we find maximum bonding (between couples
and in parenting).
In mammals it is only a question of biology and behaviour.
In humans, it includes liberty and responsibility, and hence there is a need of
an ethics, to guide the correct use of one's liberty.
Human sexuality is intrinsically ethical, that is of the good understood and
willed,
It involves ethical criteria and life choices.
From these observations we realise that the biolgoical dimension of sex does not
sufficiently explain human sexuality in all its complexity.
8
From 9750 BC, men began to cultivate the land breed animals.
They realised that one male could fertilise many females.
Hence the discovery that the male has greater fecundity than the female.
This may have caused the birth of 'maschilismo'.
maintenance of the house and to cultivate the fields. To marry a woman, one
had to pay the family: the man 'bought' the bride from the parents, the father
of the bride had to pay a dowry, which was given back should separation
occur.
In mythology, all evil was imputed to a woman Pandora.
In the Greek Golden Age, women were also seen as inferior.
In Athens, women had the same rights as slaves. Women were completely
subject to relatives or to the husband. She had no regular education and was
destined to live in segregated dedicated to her.
Women were seen as a material property at whoever's disposal. Women were
seen as irrational, lacking in morality, and addicted to sexual pleasure.
Roman Empire
In the Roman world, women and wives were totally subject to men or
husbands, who could control all their actions.
However she had more rights in her house compared to other cultures.
e.g. she could have an input in family questions, she could be seen by nonfamily members and she could attend theatrical works.
She gained greater family value with the increase in the power of the Roman
empire. The man was more absorbed in political and administrative problems
of the empire.
In the first two Punic Wars, women had an influence on the Senate.
Christianity
With the advent of Christianity, there was a restitution of the female condition.
In Christianity, women are seen as complete human beings, equal with men.
Holiness was possible for both, and both were martyrs in the start of
Christianity.
In all the religious renewals that have taken part in the church, there has been a
flourishing of both male and female sanctity.
This was lost in the 19th cent. with the bourgeois attitudes that infiltrated Christian
society.
This an important topic for the church today.
Paul VI was the first to declare a woman as a doctor of the church. , 1970
Teresea of Avila and Catherine of Siena.
In 2000, John Paul II made a public apology for the past sins of ecclesiastics,
among the 7 categories of sins named, one was sins against the dignity of
women and minority groups.
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15
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7. Linee prospettiche.
Although sexuality from a biological perspective admits a certain plasticity / flexibility,
there are common features among different cultures that pertain to sexuality.
Sexuality, as part of human nature, has norms which orient sexuality towards a bene
capito, a good understood (e.g. sex within a monogamous pairing, between a man
and woman, etc.)
These norms are not subject to the arbitrary decisions of the individual person, but
correspond to his nature, and thus to a certain ethos (i.e. customs of a people).
We have seen that though the centuries there has been a certain deepening of our
understanding of sexuality, and the faith has helped this process (GS 22 Christ fully
reveals man to himself).
From an anthropological perspective, it is a useful analogy to think of sexuality as a
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language it varies between cultures, but there are common features. It can be rich
or poor, used well or badly.
Sexuality needs to be understood from an anthropological perspective, which can
then be illuminated by the truths of faith.
It is important to note that sexual morality is not something extraneous to sexuality,
a superstructure that is imposed on sex. Rather it emerges from the very nature of sex
itself, which pertains to human nature, what it is to be human. It does not come from
a 'social neurosis' as Reich sustained.
Rather, morality enables sexuality to be fully expressed, fully actualised towards the
good.
So far our investigation has used a modality or method that could be described as
phenomenological, that is describing how human sexuality has been lived, from the
past to the present.
These phenomenological data are indispensable for understanding sexuality, but
alone they are not enough. The data need to be interpreted. The data need a theory
to explain it.
Paraphrasing what Romano Guardini said about life, we can say that sexuality is
refracted into various levels and dimensions, expressed in different ways in different
cultures & times. In this way we see expressed the different meanings of sexuality.
It is a mystery which we cannot understand fully. This multiplicity needs to be
systemised however. What are the essential (natural) characteristics of sexuality?
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When we say there is a male and female spirituality too, we use spirituality in its
wider Anglosaxon meaning since the 19 th cent, spirituality has been disconnected
from religion, to mean any subjective experience or psychological phenomenon that
is meaningful or blissful, though there is no universally accepted definition.
This includes the search in each man regarding the radical questions of human
existence, ranging from love to work, from sharing to political duties, from religious
experience to suffering.
There seems to be a male and female spirituality, think for example, of the
experience of childbirth, an exclusively female experience that is shapes a woman's
understanding of love, life and suffering.
This differentiation in spirituality is also witnessed to by the saints, in whom,
masculinity and femininity is wonderfully expressed.
While God and angels are purely spiritual, and thus strictly speaking have no sexual
differentiation, this is not so with man. He is properly body and soul, as Gaudium et
spes says, 'incarnate spirit', 'one in body and soul', and hence is sexuality
differentiated in body as well as soul.
attachment) we see that love and desire are not in conflict, especially if one has had
secure attachments as an infant, which enables one to give sexuality its authentic
meaning in long-term relationships. Sexuality and attachment, though they can exist
without each other, cooperate in the finality of love.
It is usual that in a relationship, sexual attraction is strong over two years and then
develops into attachment:
http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35535424
the passionate and companionate phases of romantic relationships.
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it is erroneous to think that sex only involves the body and not the soul. There are
deep bonds formed in the sexual act that surpass the duration of the sexual
encounter.
Hence the dimension of 'lunghezza', length, is important.
Sexual attraction, the sexual act and all dynamics connected with sexuality are not
'existentially neutral' but are forces that tend towards attachment, long-term
relationships. Sexuality is at the service of attachment, and sex enables deep
personal relations that build up authentic love.
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2. Sex education.
We have seen how sexuality has undergone an evolution, which has not just been
biological, but also psychic, psychological and spiritual. Hence sexuality pertains to
that cultural process called education, which involves the perfection of the person.
The full education and development of sexual maturity involves arriving at a capacity
to know how to live sexuality at the service of love and which is entrusted to human
responsibility.
Sexual development is a dynamic that moves from genitality to love, from
disorganisation to organisation, from anarchy to finalisation, from multiplicity to
unity.
Sexuality is mature when it has arrived at the integration and the finalisation of all its
components, and when it is fused with love.
There is thus a finality, or telos to sexuality, linked to the truth of sexuality logos.
Sexuality is not to be repressed, but fully actualised. We remember the expression of
Freud that which is repressed has to expressed in some way.
Thus, sexual impulses and drives have to channeled in the right way, in harmony with
reason. This is possible because the sexual drive has plasticity. They are not like
animal drives which are rigidly determined, but they can evolve in many different
ways, for the good or the bad of the person, for personal degradation and
psychological wounding, or as an energy for moral elevation, an agent of cultural
transformation, the strength and force to sustain a life project.
Thus sexuality needs to be educated and adequately formed, so that it may be
authentically human.
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Thus we argue against those who say that sex education need not have any moral
component. The aim of sex education should be to enable and ennoble one to
mature to the fullness of human personhood, placing sexuality at the service of love.
To better understand the relationship btw sexuality, 'relationality' and maturity, we
express it with the following diagrams:
P2
P1
maturity
relationality
(c) mature
(a) if both persons are immature, there is a low level of relationality. Both are
dominated by the reciprocal sexual attraction, and most of their relations are genital
only. The knowledge of the partner is low. They know little of the others desires, their
interior life. The relationship is fragile, and once sexual attraction fades, there is
rarely progression to attachment, i.e. deeper relationship.
(b) romantic / adolescent. There is a true romantic love here which is not merely
genital. The two like to pass time together, talking and discussing various topics.
They try to discover the other's opinions and preferences. They spend a lot of time /
energy on finding similar interests (e.g. music, places, friends etc). Based primarily on
the affective-sentimental component. They speak about only those things that are
external to the couple itself. They lack an insight into the depths of the other, there is
not true alliance / covenant here yet. This is thought to be a deep relationship, but
when the similarity of interests runs out, and when the relationship is tested by trials,
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the relationship does not survive. There is great emotional investment here, and so
breaking up is painful. There is a need to reflect on the characteristics of the broken
relationship.
(c) mature (oblative). This relationship can arrive at the maximal levels of profundity
and oblative love. There is a balanced living of introversion and extraversion, in which
they manage the differences of each other, knowing how to share a life project which
is the fruit of a real sharing and a mediation between the desires and the pasts of
each partner. In the case of separation, there is a real period of grief.
At this point we need to ask ourselves what love really means.
It is not only sexual there are other types of love e.g. paternal, maternal, filial.
Theillard de Chardin defines it as a 'qualsiasi forza che spinge gli esseri gli uni verso
gli altri' any force that pushes one towards another.
We however are interested in conjugal love. The love of friendship can help us
understand it, but this is not enough. It is different, so much so that St Augustine
defines it as amicitia coniugalis.
Conjugal love is a love that is based on sexuality, this is its first and fundamental
characteristic. It is based on the fact that the lovers are a man and a woman, a love
based on sexual complementarity-reciprocity which includes genital activity that is
integrated in the whole of the person and the relationship. L'amore coniugale is
always anchored to its sexual foundation.
This amore coniugale includes and integrates the affective-sentimental component
too, which orients and fixes one's sexual tendencies on another. It is not enough, but
it is important. It personalises the sexual tendencies and focuses them on the
discovery of the other as person.
The amore coniugale includes a free and responsible spiritual decision. It recognises
the other as a person and chooses them as an end, the object of one's capacity to
love.
Love is oblative because it is founded on the reciprocal giving of self. This total giving
of self, which comes first, then uses the conjugal act as a language, as the full
expression of this total self-giving love.
Sex, outside a relationship in which there is a total giving of oneself to the other, is a
lie there is the self-giving of the body without the self-giving of the soul.
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This self-giving love is able to generate a communion of life that is able to extend
itself to become a family, open to new life.
???
Here the Latin adage applies: quidquid recipitur ad modum, recipientis recipitur: what is
received in a subject is received according to the capacity of the nature of the
recipient.
i.e. the relationship is limited to the level of maturity of the least mature.
This relationship can develop in three ways:
(I) happens infrequently: the more mature partner, through a patient and
constant labour and with external assistance, helps the other to mature.
(ii) there is a status quo, in which there is an off limits zone between the two,
there are taboo subjects
(iii) tragic, in which the more mature partner regresses, adapting to the level of
the less mature. This involves suffering and tensions.
When this type of relationship breaks, there are two outcomes
the partner who is less mature leaves easily, and soon looks for a new partner;
the more mature partner experiences more discomfort, wondering why it
didn't work, and may need psychological or pastoral help to overcome the
break-up.
We return to the idea of sexuality and intimacy. Both persons in the relationship have
sentimental and sexual demands that need to be met .
What do we mean by intimacy? 'the realisation of a rapport consisting in an exchange
of sentiments', that is, a way of living sexually that satisfies an amorous relationship,
one which presupposes the deepest level of participation between the two members
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of the couple.
An intimate relationship involves the sharing of sentiments, emotions, instincts,
thoughts, actions, and values.
Without intimacy, separation is much easier.
This level of intimacy requires that one first knows oneself, one's own instincts,
thoughts, values etc.; you have to integrate them in yourself so that you are then
able to give them over to another.
One also need the capacity to find an accord, reach agreements, to mediate, to make
compromises.
The mature person realises that a relationship needs commitment and effort for it
to work. Sentiments, just falling in love, is not enough.
A marriage should not be seen as the completion of a relationship, but as part of a
journey which continues, matures, develops, long after the wedding day; a
development towards unity, with ever greater integration between the couples.
In sum, sexuality should occur within the context of intimacy, otherwise it is false,
lacks authenticity. It becomes part of a lie, part of an ambiguous and contradictory
language.
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EROS
secular love vs
ascending love vs
possessive love vs
concupiscent love vs
AGAPE
christian love
descending love
oblative love
benevolent
full satisfaction that matches our aspirations and desires) and spiritual (that is, it
gives us an experience of the infinite and divine through the experience of the
orgasm the indescribable experience of being lost in the absolute).
Teaching from the Catechism:
CCC 2362 "The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the
spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these
acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and
gratitude." Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:
The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses
should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the
spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They
accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses
should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation. 145
(Pius XII, Discourse, October 29,1951.)
But also
2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure.
Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its
procreative and unitive purposes.
We must also be aware of the mystical dimension of the sexual act, an experience of
the divine, a fragment of the ineffable, that makes us touch the divine infinity.
(b) Chastity
A term often misunderstood.
The attitudes and beliefs of a community are reflected in their language, their myths,
legends, anecdotes and other stories. Thus language helps us understand the culture
too.
Misconceptions chastity is not the same as abstinence, nor continence, nor virginity,
nor celibacy.
CCC 2337 Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the
person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in
which man's belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes
personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to
another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman.
The virtue of chastity therefore involves the integrity of the person and the integrality
of the gift.
Chastity is thus spiritual energy which knows how to defend love from the dangers of
egotism and aggression, and to guide it towards its full realisation (cf. FC 33).
Chastity protects the beauty of sexuality.
Helps one live one's sexuality with authenticity, freedom and to fullness.
Chastity is not opposed to eros.
We are all called to chastity, even those who marry.
It is a virtue, that is a stable disposition of man. It gives one daily freedom, not being
trapped and harangued by one's passions, but having self-control:
CCC 2342 Self-mastery is a long and exacting work. One can never consider it acquired
once and for all. It presupposes renewed effort at all stages of life. 129 (Cf. Titus 2:1-6.)
The effort required can be more intense in certain periods, such as when the
personality is being formed during childhood and adolescence.
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CCC 2341 The virtue of chastity comes under the cardinal virtue of temperance, which
seeks to permeate the passions and appetites of the senses with reason.
It is within the virtue of temperance, but it is not a repressive attitude, but like
the keeping of a precious and rich gift, that of love, safeguarded for the total
giving of oneself in one's vocation.
We need to learn chastity, it needs to be part of education.
Chastity grows with the other virtues, the capacity to renunciation, of sacrifice and of
waiting (patience) cf. PC for the Family, Human sexuality truth and significance, 4-5.
CCC 2343 Chastity has laws of growth which progress through stages marked by
imperfection and too often by sin. "Man . . . day by day builds himself up through his
many free decisions; and so he knows, loves, and accomplishes moral good by stages
of growth."130 (FC 34).
This daily battle occurs because of original sin (concupiscence).
But if we don't control our sexuality, we will never be able to use it effectively. It will
constantly seek for pleasure in surrogates.
Chastity is in fact the joyful affirmation of living life in self-gift, free from egotistic
slavery.
CCC 2339 Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training
in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions
and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes
unhappy.126 (Cf. Sir 1:22.) "Man's dignity therefore requires him to act out of
conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within,
and not by blind impulses in himself or by mere external constraint. Man gains
such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses
forward to his goal by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and
skill, effectively secures for himself the means suited to this end." 127 (GS 17)
interior freedom is thus marked by self-control, taking responsibility for oneself and
others.
It is also a witness to the Faith.
cf. PC for the Family, Human sexuality truth and significance, 17-18.
4. Linee prospettiche
The Christian understanding of sexuality is not opposed to biology or philosophy.
Faith guides sexuality towards authentic love.
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The believer is called to a constant discernment regarding the living out of sexuality
the fruit of this discernment is the removal of opacity and equivocation.
The language of sexuality is an instrument at the service of love, of that 'amore
coniugale' which arrives at is fullness in the light of the love of the Paschal Mystery.
The believer also has to mature in sexuality, so that one arrives at the authentic
meaning of sexuality - this is helped by two instruments: chastity and modesty.
Conclusions
Lyrics from De Gregori (b. 1951), Compagni di viaggio.
We have reached the peak of Mount Nebo, the end of our journey. Now we
contemplate the Promised land to which we have arrived.
The first thing to note is that it is not a land of conflict, the biological against the
psychological or the spiritual. Not all the levels are crystal clear, and there are still
questions to be answered, which shows that sexuality is a genuine human experience
that is mysterious.
But there is a concord and coherence btw the different levels.
We have discovered that we are all sexual beings, and that our sexuality is a gift from
God that enables us to better love, even corporeally, most especially in the heights of
spousal love. At the height of union between two persons, there is liberty and
responsibility , in which one gives one's whole sexuality (and fertility) to the other
person in a relation that is unique and oblative.
Sexuality pertains to a person's being, but also to his becoming. Sexuality is not given
to us in a completed state, but we are always in cammino, needing to mature in our
sexuality and to discover it more deeply.
Sexuality has the marks of an Exodus journey, from the slavery of passions to the
liberty of the relationship in love.
Sexuality has to be ever more greatly integrated in each person (chastity), as it affects
the whole of the person (globalit). This is especially so for a believer. Faith touches
everything, and being a disciple of the Risen Lord gives answers to some of the
questions of sexuality: for God is Love and offers himself for us in the greatest act of
love.
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To link sexuality and love, three prepositions are needed from, in and for.
(i) from our biological investigations have shown that sexuality is given to us,
and should be received as a gift. Our being male or female is the fruit of this
original gesture of love between our parents which forms the start of our
existence.
(ii) in for sexuality acquires meaning only in love. Sexuality by itself has
gestures, impulses and behaviours which can be ambiguous. Love can also be
ambiguous, for it has different dimensions as eros, filia and agape. Ambiguity
is only removed when sexuality is lived in amore coniugale that involves
constant discernment. In which case, these ambiguous components become
revelatory instruments to communicate love.
(iii) for sexuality is for love, because sexuality has to be structured according
to human nature. Only love can bear and uphold the complexity of sexuality,
orientating sexuality towards an authentic happiness. Love is the promised
land of happiness.
The command and gift (Gabe and Aufgabe) that is inherent in sexuality coincide in the
promise made to our life Amerai! (cf Deut 6:5-).
Sexuality, the Promised land that we now see as Moses did on top of Mount Nebo, is
a promise that is fulfilled to love with all one's heart and body.
Sexuality includes all of man's fragility, but it can also express all of its greatness
(love).
Sexuality is inherent to man, and includes his whole body, his fragility, his finitude
and limits but also his spirit, his call to heaven, to greatness and to love.
Like Moses we stop here and do not enter the Promised land.
There is of course a need to reflect on how to live in the promised land once there.
Living love as consecrated, as fiances or as spouses is not straightforward.
Israel lose the land because of its infidelity and the same can happen to each
of us: we can lose the capacity to love with our bodies.
But we have fulfilled our task, we have brought the reader to the frontier of the
promised land
Now there lies ahead of the reader the personal path to live one's sexuality in
love and for love.
At this point, the words of Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922) in his story In Search of Lost
Time may apply: the only true journey is not that which goes towards new lands,
but [that which gives us] different eyes, to see the universe with the eyes of another.
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We thus hope that every reader will see his own sexuality in a new way the
possibility to love in the school of the Other, the school of the Lord, who is Love and
gives life.
** End! **
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