A Sneak

Peek
By Erica Jane
Estamo
Period 2
Table of Contents

Most Treasured Memory:

Page 1
Chapter of Change: Page
3
Forever, Flowering
Friendships: Page 5
Greedy Grades: Page 7
Peaceful Passions: Page 9

Most Treasured Memory

To this day, I can vividly recall the sleepovers I
had with my cousins. My parents were
overprotective, so I was only allowed to hang out
with relatives when outside of school. I was about
ten years old at the time, Zach was eleven, and
John was twelve. It was nothing extravagant; the
sleepovers were simple, but now that we have
matured and refuse to do such child-like things, I
realized how comforting those times were and how
much sentiment they hold.
The three of us stayed in the family room
upstairs, which was pervaded by the musty scent
of the elderly. We werent relatively close. Zach sat
on the couch, while John and I laid on the blanketsupported floor, about three feet away from each
other. Spongebobs laughter could be heard in the
background on the television as we busied
ourselves with our portable game consoles.
Pokmon was one of the nerdiest games on the
planet, but the three of us bonded over it on the
DSi. I remember us ecstatically conversing about
the best formation for a team or what starter
Pokmon looked the coolest.

With each hour that brought us closer to

morning, our personal space slowly diminished.
The television grabbed our attention with an
earsplitting groan that was emitted from the
zombies, which instinctively made John hide behind
Zach. When did he decide to join us on our
makeshift bed, I do not know, but I do remember
myself snapping a photo of the two boys hugging
each other while my body shook from laughter.
After a couple of episodes of The Walking Dead, we
went online and cried at hilarious Youtubers and
compared each other to memes. Those nights were
filled with glee and gave a sense of security.

Greedy Grades
Grades are greedy. They control my schedule
depending on when I have to study or do
homework. Mom complains a lot about how I do
not spend enough quality family time with them
anymore. They take up my attention, induce stress,
and choose whether or not my parents become
angry or appreciative that day. Every time I open
my chromebook, I login to home access center to
check on how I am doing. This process happens
almost every period, and each time, I worry if they
will magically drop.

My grades affect how people perceive me and

sometimes determine who talks to me; therefore,
they decide who I am surrounded by and who I
socialize with. Occasionally, I am bothered by
another student because they are lazy and need to
copy my work, so those kids hang around me for a
little bit. A couple of my friends and I sincerely
bond over talking about our grades, like what
classes are difficult or which teacher is the most
strict. My best friend is my best friend because of
our similar thoughts and aspirations about
education.
I heed my grades very closely because they
hold power. They hold my future and part of my
childrens future. Maintaining good grades help
pave the road to a great college, which, in turn,
leads to a financially satisfying and stable job. My
ranking in the profession I choose to take on will be
at the utmost top if my grades are actually level
with my intelligence. Grades influence my mind
and potential.

Forever, Flowering
Friendships

My first friend holds a place in my heart,

namely, Jade Ngo. I recall standing in front of the
playground at New Republic Elementary School,
awing at the jubilant kids running around and
having fun. A small-eyed girl in a ponytail walked
up to me, and with a toothy grin, she said, Wanna
play? That's it. A two word phrase came out of her
mouth, yet it held so much intention and created a
large impact on my timeline. That one question
lead to many adventures and new experiences like
becoming a Patriot Patrol, playing sports,
participating in friendly competitions, and
becoming knowledgeable about a vast range of
obscure puns. Without Jade, I doubt I would be as
confident or as diligent as I am today.
Gavilan View Middle School was the home of
the hawks. I spent two plain years there, until I met
Sonia. Sonia Pardenilla, my tall tree, is a girl who
always cared for me, even if I treated her wrong.
Faking my actions to hide my emotions was
something I was good at, but Sonia saw right
through my facade. She would wrap me in her
arms, and I felt safe. Her height made it so
everythingall that was badwas blocked from
my vision. I was showered by love yous,
affection, and felt a sense of belonging. She made
me feel like I mattered. During our days together, I

took her for granted. I thought she was just

someone to waste my time on for the last year of
middle school, and by going to separate high
schools, I found out how badly mistaken I was. She
brought out the best in me, and I swear on a stack
of Bibles that I will never forget her.
Cherishing my friends is something I always
remind myself. Jade and I dont hang out as much
anymore, but I still consider her my best friend. I
know she is the one person at my school I can fully
put my trust in, and I am very cautious when it
comes to relying on others. As for Sonia, for one
year, she and I were glued together, but we were
torn apart by the cold factor of our distant areas of
residence. Despite that, we still text, meet up at
games, and call each other on the phone. I feel sort
of lost without them by me 24/7, but I know I can
always contact them at any time of need and vice
versa. Sonia and Jade continue to influence me
enormously, but I have also met other buddies to
help me along the way. I was introduced to
Makayla, Daniela, Stephany, Hazel, and Hannah,
and I talk to most of them daily. My friends are a
crucial part of what keeps me going, and I love
them dearly.

Chapter of Change
I often reminisce when life was uncomplicated
and easy. In the past, I was happy but naive, still, I
sometimes envy that state of mind. As I got older,
my mind, as well as my body, began to alter. I
became more sensitive and aware of things I had
not known were detrimental to my well-being
before. My head swirled with tornadoes of anxiety
and pent-up issues I refused to resolve, and I
started to notice how tiny, specific behaviors
created negative reactions that were dependent on
who I was interacting with. I developed the desire
for boys but lost the confidence to approach them.
My thought process turned into a more cautious
procedure, resulting into overthinking. It lead my
mind onto a pessimistic path and spiraled
downward to low self-esteem. Regardless of what I

tried to do, change was something I could not fully

grasp.
Big changes cannot be reversed nor erased,
but it can be modified to suit conveniences. Slowly,
I learned to adapt and be a little more numb to
occurring disturbances, though, all too soon, I
stopped showing negative emotions altogether. I
was completely fixated on being how I was when I
was a child that I supressed my feelings of anger,
sorrow, and disappointment concerning others.
When those stored emotions wanted to explode, I
would go home and release them all onto myself.
Id cry, thinking, He ignores me because Im
boring, or She insulted me because Im freakish.
My twisted head believed I deserved what they
said and that I should acknowledge their opinions
to better myself. I genuinely thought I was a bad
person. I didnt want to talk about it because I
didnt want to look like an attention seeker, so I
hid. I hid away from my dilemmas, family, and
friends, and Im hiding right now just the same.
Someday, Ill find the strength to confront my
problems, and when I do, Ill be prepared to create
my own changes.

Peaceful Passions
How do I stay stable? is a question I ask
myself frequently. Replies vary from being lucky,
having a family, to having an ambition. My passion
is an aspect I can control to pick myself up while
going through hardships, and it is a simple way to
calm my attitude toward a problem. Two things
keep me cordial: music and swimming.
Music is an enchanting way to communicate
emotion. It is capable of evoking feelings of
exuberance or dejection and can also tell a story.
Music allows me to escape by dividing my attention
with its beat, tone, melody, and lyrics, but
something even better than listening to tunes is
creating those ditties. Playing the songs I adore not
only makes me feel buoyant, but it fills me with

pride. Nothing in the world is more versatile and

flexible than music.
The pool has been my second home for as long
as my memory can extend. It is my underwater
palace. To backtrack, I am an ambivert, a person
balanced between introversion and extroversion.
By being in the pool, the water gives me access to
both a liquid room of solitude and a splash war
against my friends. The water is like a blanket. It
envelops every part of my body in its arms of
liquid, making me feel at ease. I am not Michael
Phelps, but swimming brings me great pleasure
nonetheless. When I dive and glide, penetrating
the water, we become one. I flow with the current
and am finally free.