PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

Parents, Families, Friends, and Allies United with LGBTQ People

PO Box 617
Buffalo, NY 14207
716-883-0384

info@pflagbuffalo.org
www.pflagbuffalo.org
www.facebook.com/pflag.niagara

There will be no sharing meeting in December.

The monthly sharing meetings are held at Kenilworth United Church of Christ, 45 Dalton Drive, Tonawanda 14223,
from 2:30-5:00. Newcomers and anyone interested will be also offered the option of meeting privately with a PFLAG
parent rather than meet with the sharing group. Our monthly meetings are in the library, which is near the parking lot
entrance. The facility is handicapped accessible. In addition, New Parents Meetings can be scheduled as needed at a
location convenient to those involved. These self-help one-on-one meetings deal with the concerns of parents and family
members who have a loved one who is LGBTQ.
We meet because we have learned that someone very close to us is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender. We try to
help one another deal with this information in a positive manner. Although we do not agree at all times, we try to be
understanding. We offer help to those who seek it, but do not force ourselves on others. We strive to maintain
anonymity while sharing on a level that is comfortable for all of us.

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PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara

YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE VALUED. PFLAG IS HERE.

By PFLAG National, November 9, 2016

It has been a difficult day for so many of us. And before we say anything else, we must
say this, regardless of what has happened:
You are loved. You are valued. And PFLAG is here.
The election results have us experiencing a range of emotions from anger to hurt, sadness,
and fear. Pundits are talking about an electorate divided, national leaders are talking about
unity, and based on last nights results, its become clear: roughly half of our neighbors (and
even some of our family members) do not embrace the same vision of America as we do.
The reality is that in many places, elected officials who have introduced or supported bills
that oppose the very existence and presence of LGBTQ people were successful, and their
success promises a new wave of ugliness.
There are major battles on the horizon, and these are battles we must win. Lives are at
risk. And it isn't just LGBTQ lives. It is the lives of anyone who doesnt fit in their idea of the
mainstream -- people of different religions, races, ethnicities, levels of ability, socioeconomic
groups, and genders.

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

PFLAGers know how to experience losses, celebrate wins with grace, and never lose sight of
our vision of a world where all people are valued, respected, supported, and loved.
But make no mistake: PFLAGers also know how to fight for ourselves, for our families, and
for a bright future for LGBTQ youth. We have been on the frontlines, making allies out of
adversaries, for over 40 years.
And though we must take time to reflect, to heal, to rage, and to grieve, we cannot sit in
inaction for long. The lives and rights of our LGBTQ loved ones cannot afford to wait.
The darkness has been exposed. Now, it is our job to continue to shine a light on it, and
challenge it as only PFLAGers can, with education, personal stories, and the full weight of the
United States Constitution, which still guarantees our PFLAG values of dignity, respect, and
equal rights for all.
Weve got more than 400 chapters and 200,000 members and supporters across the
country ready to get this done. Thats thousands of people committed to sending this message:
You are loved. You are valued. And PFLAG is here.
The PFLAG National Team
P.S. If you are struggling and need help, dont wait, and dont suffer alone: Asking for help is a
sign of strength.
We encourage you to immediately seek out help if you or a loved one needs it, especially if you
or your loved one are in danger or have thought about self-harm in any way.
For LGBTQ youth, please contact The Trevor Project online at thetrevorproject.org/pages/gethelp-now, or call one of the following:
The Trevor Project: (866) 488-7386
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (800) 273-8255 (online chat available)
Crisis Text Line: Text START to 741-741
The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender National Hotline: (888) 843-4564
The GLBT National Youth Talkline (youth serving youth through age 25): (800) 246-7743

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PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara

CARE NOTES
Dealing with some issues after the recent election
By Human Rights Campaign

TAKE CARE OF YOU AND EACH OTHER

Reach out to others to find community and share how you are feeling. It's
important to take care of yourself.
Reach out to those who may be feeling overwhelmed with events. Ask how they
are doing. Give them a space to talk.
Participate in the Safety Pin Initiative
o http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/safety-pin-trumpbrexit_us_58251b53e4b0c4b63b0c11a9

DON'T FORGET THE POSITIVE

80+ openly LGBTQ people were elected including the first openly LGBTQ Governor
It looks like Pro-HB2 NC Governor McCrory will lose his reelection fight
Despite the election result, a historic majority of the popular vote supported a
pro-LGBTQ platform by an estimated 2 million votes!

MARRIAGE & FAMILY

The process for overturning the Marriage Equality decisions would involve
replacing multiple SCOTUS judges, finding a case, and working it through the
courts
- http://www.lambdalegal.org/blog/post-election-faq
Because of precedent, anyone who gets married should not be in any danger
However, if these decisions were to be overturned, federal marriage rights could
potentially be lost to married couples and families, and marriages dissolved if
states have not legislated marriage equality

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

A Prop 8 situation could potentially happen, kicking marriage back to the states, if
the Prop 8 and Windsor decisions are overturned.
We do encourage you to move forward quickly with consulting with lawyers and
organizations in your state about all options to secure all parents' rights via a
parental judgement or second parent / stepparent / confirmatory (if in
CA) adoption
-Remember a birth certificate alone is NOT always determinative of
parentage!
Check to see where your insurance is from and if any LGBT provisions may be
affected
TRANSGENDER ISSUES
Federal directives, such as the Obama administrations directing federal agencies
to include gender ID and expression in anti-discrimination policies, and directing
schools to implement trans non-discrimination policies could be done away with by
Federal directives prohibiting LGBT employment discrimination in federal agencies
and with federal contractors could be lost.
On trans youth issues- Any youth or parents who are concerned can contact Asaf Orr, NCLR
Transgender Youth Project Attorney, aorr@nclrights.org; 415-365-1326
For more info and social media (coming soon): www.nclrights.org/alettertotransyouth
Get your ID documents updated NOW - passport, state ID, social security, etc.
now while choosing your gender marker is an option
The ability to change a gender marker without proving physical transition surgery
on your passport was a policy put in place by Secretary Clinton and could
potentially be overturned
The ability to change a gender marker without proving physical transition surgery
with the Social Security Administration is also an executive order with the potential
to be overturned.
How ones gender is listed with SSA affects employment records, tax filing,
drivers license registration and how ones gender is listed with social
servicesagencies.
- Changing gender marker passport:

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PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara

http://www.transequality.org/know- your-rights/passports

OTHER ISSUES TO WATCH

If and when the ACA is rolled back or changed, countless transgender Americans
stand to lose their trans-positive insurance.
While not new, and we continue to fight them, we expect additional RFRA and
FADA laws to be introduced at the state and federal level. This was a concern
before the election and with the election results, has increased.
Issues that also disproportionately affect the LGBTQ community including
immigration (over 1000 LGBTQ Syrian refugees await placement), religious
freedom, women's health and reproductive justice

PFLAG BUFFALO/NIAGARA NEWS, EVENTS, AND UPDATES

On October 16, PFLAG hosted Trans Talk at the Central Library in downtown Buffalo. Three
short videos were used to spur discussion. Local Trans activist Ari Moore from Spectrum
Services and the Western New York Anti-Violence Project shared and answered questions at the
gathering.

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

The first video was created by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC). Fathers of trans children
are speak out in this clip: http://www.hrc.org/blog/powerful-new-hrc-foundation-videofeatures-proud-dads-of-transgender-childr . The dads share honestly about how they are
moving forward with love yet fear for their children. Their ideas are honestly presented in this
first video of its type from HRC.
The second video was a TED Talk, Why I Must Come Out, by Geena Rocero, available at
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=why+i+must+come+out+by+geena+rocero&&view=d
etail&mid=C9BCD9DBE4D34A3FFC47C9BCD9DBE4D34A3FFC47&FORM=VRDGAR.
Next, a training video to help law enforcement officers interact with the transgender
population was shown. This was created by the US Justice Department with PFLAG
National advising. You can access Transgender Training Video for Police on YouTube. It is
helpful not just for police departments; many can learn from the information and instruction
presented in this video.
A short video from the television show Glee was shown. The episode, Transition, from
which this clip was taken, focuses on a transgender teacher. A trans cast member, Unique, with
a 200 member transgender chorus, sing I Know Where Ive Been. This segment was a
moving end to the video portion of the afternoon.
Next, Ari Moore and the PFLAG panel spoke about current issues and concerns, such as the
bathroom access controversy. Ms. Moore highlighted the need to always take care of the child
and how this focus on trans youth should be unwavering. In addition to the videos and panel,
related library resources were available for people to sign out.
The PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara chapter is always happy to work with the library to present
events like this. If you attended, we hope you found this day helpful. If you were not able to
make this event, please take the time to cut and paste the links to the short videos that were
shown. Many thanks to Ann Conable and the Buffalo and Erie County Library for all of their help
and support making Trans Talk possible.
LOCAL CONFERENCE A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE FOR BOARD MEMBER
By Sharon Barrett, board member
The Center for Psychosexual Health presented a daylong conference for people in the health
care field entitled Gender Non-Conformity: A Community Response to a Vulnerable Population.

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PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara

The conference was held at Canisius College on November 5th. As a board member of PFLAG
and a medical care professional, I was very happy to be able to attend.
The keynote speakers were Dr. Kenneth Zucker of the University of Toronto and Dr. William
Bukowski of Concordia University in Montreal, Canada. Each spoke about behavioral and
emotional problems in children with gender dysphoria and peer relationships.
The afternoon consisted of workshops covering a variety of germane topics. I attended two of
these: A Guide to a Healthy and Safe Transition and Medical Transition in Adolescents
workshops.
The conference concluded with panel discussion led by Dr. Thomas Mazur of the Center for
Psychosexual Health. The panel included three trans individuals, an adult woman, a teenage
girl, and a prepubescent boy and his mother.
It was a day well-spent and full of interesting and useful information. My only regret was not
being able to attend all of the workshops!

GALA: A GREAT TIME FOR A GREAT CAUSE

Buffalos Gay and Lesbian Youth Services (GLYS) is a powerful source of support for
Western New Yorks LGBTQ youth community.
GLYS is instrumental in supporting LGBTQ Gay Straight Alliances (GSA), the GSA
conferences, Pride Parade, and helping individuals in countless ways at the GLYS Center on
Delaware.
Even a quick look at GLYSs website shows the energy, support, and activity that is
available to local young persons.
To help this amazing resource stay strong, once a year the GAYLA is held. This is the
groups largest fundraiser, and PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara has always supported this group and this
fundraiser.
President Phil Salemi, Jr. and secretary Michele Perry (shown in photo) attended this 33rd
annual gathering, held on November 10th at Asbury Hall at Babeville downtown.

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

These current board members joined previous PFLAG board members in attendance. This
year Dr. Thomas Mazur of the Center for Psychosexual Health was honored. GAYLA has become
an annual event for the LGBTQ community and Western New York to gather together and raise
money to move ahead with its important mission. Thank you GLYS for all you do!

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PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara

PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara Board of Directors

Phil Salemi, Jr., President

Lisbeth Ball, Director

Amy Fularz, Vice President

David Barrett, Director

Brian Carrier, Treasurer

Sharon Barrett, Director

Michele Perry, Secretary

Ann Carrier, Director

Julie Christiano, Director

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara, is a non-profit, all volunteer, community-based organization

not affiliated with any ethnic, religious, economic or political group. Membership is
open to all. PFLAG membership lists are kept confidential.