CHAPTER 1

THE 65-STORY
TREEHOUSE

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Hi, my name is Andy.

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This is my friend Terry.

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We live in a tree.

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Well, when I say tree, I mean treehouse. And

when I say treehouse, I dont just mean any
old treehouseI mean a 65-story treehouse!
(It used to be a 52-story treehouse, but weve added
another 13 stories.)

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So what are you waiting for?

Come on up!

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Weve added a pet-grooming salon (run by Jill),

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a birthday room (where its always your birthday,

even when its not),

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an un-birthday room where the longer you stay,

the younger you get (so dont stay too long or youll
endup like a little baby),

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a cloning machine,

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a room full of exploding eyeballs,

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TREE-NN (Treehouse News Network): a 24-hour

TV news center, featuring regular updates on all the
latest treehouse news, current events, and gossip,

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TREE-NN

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BREAKING NEWS: WEVE GOT A NEWS FEED . . .

07/06/16 5:30 pm

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a lollipop shop run by a lollipop-serving robot

called Mary Lollipoppins (she serves every type of
lollipop in the worldpast, present, and future),

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LOLLIPOP LUNACY!

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a screeching balloon orchestra,

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an owl house with three wise owls (we dont always

know what they mean, but thats because theyre so
wise),

A A R DVA R K!

CHEESE
STICK S!!

POOPPOOP!!
!

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TREE-NN

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AARDVARK! CHEESE STICKS! POOP-POOP!

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an invisible level,

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an ant farm (with 65 chambers),

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PET NEWS: ANTS ARE REALLY SMALL

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a quicksand pit,

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TREE-NN QUICKSAND MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH

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and a bow and arrow level.

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As well as being our home, the treehouse is also

where we make books together. I write the words
and Terry draws the pictures.

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TREE-NN ANDY AND TERRY ACTUALLY WORKING: RARE PIC!

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As you can see, weve been doing this for quite a

while now.

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Living in a treehouse may not be for everybody . . .

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TREE-NN

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TREEHOUSE LIFE: EXCLUSIVE PICS!

07/06/16 5:30 pm

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but it suits us just fine!

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TREE-NN

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BOOK NEWS: YOU HAVE JUST REACHED PAGE 28!

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CHAPTER 2

ATTACK OF
THE ANTS!

If youre like most of our readers, youre probably

wondering whether we have a building permit
for our treehouse. Well, of course we do. Terry
organized it. Didnt you, Terry? Terry?! Where
are you?

TREE-NN

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Ah, there you are, I say. I was telling the readers

how you got a permit for the treehouse.
GRRRR! says Terry.

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Terry, I say, quit messing around.

GRRRRR!
He looks kind of weird. And I think I know why.
Hes covered in ants!

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TREE-NN

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ANT-COVERED TERRY ACTING KIND OF WEIRD

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Have you been playing in the ant farm again?

I say.

But Terry doesnt answer. He just reaches out and

grabs me by the throat.
TERRY?! I gasp.

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Just when I can hardly breathe a moment longer,

another Terry rushes in.

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Dont worry, Andy, says the second Terry. Ill

save you!
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TREE-NN

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TWO-TERRY TERROR!

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The second Terry whacks the first Terry with a

badminton racket. WHAP!

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And all of a sudden the air is filled with . . .

TREE-NN

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N
A
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ANTS!

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TS!
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There are ants everywhere (which is bad). But Im

not being strangled anymore (which is good).
Are you okay, Andy? says Terry.
Yes, I say. I think so, but whats going on?
Why did you attack me like that?

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That wasnt me, says Terry. It was the ants

pretending to be me. I accidentally left the ant-farm
gate open and they escaped. I tried to get them all
back in but they made themselves into a fake me
and knocked me out. Then they must have come
after you.
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TREE-NN

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ANTS DARING ANT-FARM ESCAPE

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But why? I say. I didnt do anything to them!

Me, neither, says Terry. All I know is that now
theyve turned into a giant foot and are about to
stomp on us! Run!

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TREE-NN

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STOMP! STOMP!

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What are we going to do? says Terry.

Theres only one thing we can do, I say.
Become dog poop, of course!
Dog poop? says Terry. But I hate dog poop!
So do feet, I say. They will do anything to
avoid stepping in it.
Okay, says Terry. How do we do it?
Simple, I say. Just make yourself soft, squishy,
and really stinky.

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TREE-NN

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DARING DOG-POOP DISGUISE!

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Hows this? says Terry. Stinky enough for you?

Perfect, I say. Perfectly disgusting.
And, sure enough, the ant foot stops stomping
and just hovers cautiously in the air above us.

Its working! says Terry. They cant squash us

now!
No, I say, not unless they change shape again.

TREE-NN

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Oh no, says Terry. They are changing shape

againinto a giant pooper-scooper!

No problem, I say. Well just change ourselves

into a puddle of water.

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TREE-NN

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WEATHER: RAIN WITH A CHANCE OF PUDDLES

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Well be safe now, I say. Pooper-scoopers can

scoop up poop . . . but they cant scoop up water!

We really fooled those ants, I say.

Yeah, says Terry. Ants may be smart, but were
even smarter.

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But maybe not quite smart enough, I say. Now

the ants are becoming a giant paper towel. Theyre
going to absorb us!

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But I like being water! says Terry. I dont want to

be absorbed.
Me neither, I say. But we will be unless we
change back into us . . . right now!

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ABSORPTION DANGER: HIGH

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We change back. We dont get absorbed (which is

good). But we do get scrunched up (which is bad).

If only we had some fire, says Terry, we could

burn the paper.

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Ive got a match, I say, but I dont have a

matchbox.
Thats too bad, says Terry. Because Ive got a
matchbox, but I dont have a match.

Hmmm, I say.

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Hmmm, says Terry.

Hmmm.

Hmmm.

Hmmm.

Hmmm.

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FIRE DANGER: MODERATE

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Hey, I say, Ive got a great idea!

What? says Terry.
Why dont we put my match and your
matchbox together?
That sounds dangerous, says Terry. It might
start a fire.
Exactly! I say. Take that, ants!

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Its working! says Terry. The paper towel is

burning up!
Yes, I say. But I think were burning up, too!
Yeah, says Terry. My head is getting quite
hot.
Thats probably because your hair is on fire,
I say.
So is yours, says Terry.
AAAGGGGHHHH! we scream.

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FIRE DANGER: EXTREME!

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But we dont scream for long, because next thing

we know the ants turn into a giant hose and
start blasting us and themselves with cool, fresh,
fire-quenching ant-water!

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They blast and they blast and they keep on blasting

until we are trapped at the top of a gushing geyser
of angry ants.
What do we do now? says Terry.
Call for help, I say, and hope like crazy that
Jill hears us.

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BOOK NEWS: YOU HAVE JUST REACHED PAGE 50!

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CHAPTER 3

JILL TO
THE RESCUE

Help! I yell.
Help! yells Terry.

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Andy? says a
familiar voice.
Terry? What
are you doing up
there?
Its Jill!
The ants went
crazy and turned
into a hose! I say.
Can you turn
the tap off so we
can get down?
says Terry.
Sure thing,
says Jill.

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TREE-NN

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JILL TO TURN OFF TAP!

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Jill turns the hose off (at the ant-tap) . . .

and Terry and I fall to the ground with a loud

THUMP!

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What did you do to upset the ants? says Jill.

They appear to be very agitated.
Its Terrys fault, I say. He left the ant-farm
gate open and all the ants got out and started
attacking us.
I only left it a little bit open, says Terry.
Jill frowns. When it comes to ants, she says, a
little can be a lot. Id better have a talk with them.
She gets down on her knees, makes her fingers
into pretend antennas, and wiggles them around.

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TREE-NN

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ANT-FARM-ESCAPE ACCUSATIONS FLY

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Its not
working, she
says. Im too
big. I need to
be ant-size.
Can you draw
me smaller,
Terry?

Sure, Jill, says Terry. One ant-size you coming

up!

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Soon Jill is deep in conversation with the ants

which is not surprising, really, because Jill can talk
to any animal . . . even insects, and ants are insects,
which is why she can talk to them.

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What do you think theyre talking about? says

Terry.
Beats me, I say. I dont speak Ant.
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TREE-NN

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IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, SAY ANTS

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Finally Jill turns

to us and starts
explaining, but her
voice is just a tiny
little squeak.
Oh, great! I say.
Now we cant
understand her
because shes too small.
No problem, says Terry. Ill give her this
micro-mini-megaphone I made last week.

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Thanks, Terry, says Jill through the micro-minimegaphone. The ants said they are very cross
because you and Andy keep wrecking their ant
farm.

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TREE-NN

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ANT-FARM INQUIRY CONTINUES

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But Im always really careful around the ants!

I say.
Me too! says Terry. Im even more careful
than Andy!
And Im even more careful than Terry! I say.

Well, says Jill, that may be true, but perhaps

youre not being as careful as you think you are.
Take a look at this.
TREE-NN

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PET NEWS: BE NICE TO YOUR ANTS . . .

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Those poor little ants, says Jill. You owe them a

really big apology.

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Im really sorry,
I say.
Me too, says
Terry. Im really,
really sorry.
Im even sorrier
than Terry, I say.
And Im even
sorrier than Andy,
says Terry.

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TREE-NN

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TERRY OUT-SORRIES ANDY

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I think the ants will be okay now, says Jill. Just

promise that, whatever you do, you WILL NEVER
DISTURB THEIR ANT FARM EVER AGAIN!

We promise, I say. Dont we, Terry?

Yes, says Terry. We really, really promise.
Good, says Jill, leading the ants away, back to
the ant farm.

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Now, where was I? Oh yes, thats right, I was telling

you all about the permit. Like I was saying, Terry
took care of that. Didnt you, Terry?
What? says Terry.

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The building permit. I was telling the readers that

you organized it. You did, didnt you?
Well, er, sort of, says Terry. Except for one
small problem . . .
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TREE-NN TERRY POINTS OUT POTENTIAL PERMIT PROBLEM

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What problem?
I say.
I can explain,
says Terry. Once
upon a time . . .

(Hold on, readers, were going into a flashback.)

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Once upon a time, says Terry, you gave me some

money to go and get a building permit for our
treehouse.

So off I went to the building permit office.

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UH-OH . . .

07/06/16 5:31 pm

On my way through the forest, I met a friendly

little man selling see-into-the-future peanuts . . .
and, luckily, I had exactly the right amount of
money to buy the whole bag!

I didnt eat them, though, because I remembered

that Im allergic to see-into-the-future peanuts.
So . . .
TREE-NN

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I traded the see-into-the-future peanuts for the

fastest horse in the world . . .

but it wasnt fast enough so I traded it for a talking

goat . . .

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FAST HORSE SWAPPED FOR TALKING GOAT

07/06/16 5:31 pm

but the goat only spoke French so I traded it for a

singing monkey . . .

but it turned out the monkey couldnt sing Happy

Birthday so I traded it for a solid-gold goldfish . . .

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but the solid-gold goldfish was so heavy it couldnt

even swim, so I traded it for a mathematical mouse,
but the mathematical mouse thought two plus two
equaled five, so . . .

I traded it for a performing flea . . .

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MATHEMATICAL MOUSE MAKES MISTAKE

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but the performing flea refused to do any tricks,

so I traded it for a magic bean.

After all that trading I was really hungry . . .

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so hungry that I completely forgot and I ate the

magic bean.

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HUNGER LINKED TO MEMORY LOSS

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You completely forgot what? I say. About getting

the permit?
No, says Terry, I completely forgot that as well
as being allergic to see-into-the-future peanuts,
Imalso allergic to magic beans!

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I didnt feel so good . . .

and then I
felt worse . . .

and then I
felt even worser . . .
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WORD OF THE PAGE: WORSER

07/06/16 5:31 pm

and then, just when I thought I couldnt feel any

more worser, I blew up!

Now its time to come back to the present.

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So youre telling me we dont have a valid building

permit for the treehouse? I say to Terry.

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Thats right, he says. But look on the bright side:

I blew up but I didnt die.
Thats true, I say, putting my hands around
his throat, but youre going to die now. Any last
words?
Yes, gasps Terry. Whos going to answer the
phone?

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TREE-NN

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TERRY RECOVERS FROM FATAL EXPLOSION

07/06/16 5:31 pm

I will, I say. And then Ill finish strangling you!

I let go of Terry and answer the 3-D videophone.

TREE-NN

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07/06/16 5:31 pm

(Did I mention we have a 3-D videophone? Well,

we doand its 3-D!)
Its Mr. Big Nose, our publisher.

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What took you so long? he says.

Andy was trying to strangle me, says Terry.
Ill strangle you both if your next book isnt
here by twelve oclock today, says Mr. Big Nose.
Good-bye!
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TREE-NN

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ANGRY PUBLISHER DANGER: EXTREME!

07/06/16 5:31 pm

This is terrible, I say. Not only do we not have a

permit for the treehouse, but we havent written our
book and its due in today!

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07/06/16 5:31 pm

Look on the bright side, says Terry.

What bright side? I say.
I still didnt die after I ate the magic bean and
blew up, he says.
I go back to strangling him.

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Letter for you, calls Bill the postman, distracting

me and accidentally saving Terrys life.
Cool, says Terry. I love getting letters.
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TREE-NN

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NARROW ESCAPE FOR LUCKY ILLUSTRATOR

07/06/16 5:31 pm

We sit down and read the letter. This is what it says:

INSPECTOR BUBBLEWRAP
SAFETY CENTRAL HEADQUARTERS
BUILDING PERMIT DEPARTMENT

Dear Andy and Terry,

This is to inform you that I will be visiting
your treehouse in one minute to check that
you have a current and valid building permit.
Regards,
Inspector Bubblewrap

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What a nice letter, says Terry.

Are you crazy? I say. Hes a building inspector
and hes coming to check if our treehouse building
permit is currentthe very building permit we
dont have!

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Yikes! says Terry. When is he coming?

In one minute, I say.
One minute?! says Terry. Double yikes!
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TREE-NN

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BOOK NEWS: YOU HAVE JUST REACHED PAGE 82!

07/06/16 5:31 pm

CHAPTER 4

INSPECTOR
BUBBLEWRAP

The doorbell rings and we go to answer it.

Hello, says the man at the door. My name
is Inspector Bubblewrap. I trust you received my
letter.
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Well, yes, we did, I say, but

Excellent, says the inspector. May I please see
your building permit for this treehouse?
Well . . . yes . . . I say, although when I say yes,
I mean no. We dont actually have one . . . thanks
to Terry.

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No permit? says the inspector. In that case Ill

have to do an inspection to see if your treehouse
conforms to all the current building regulations
and safety codes.
84

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UH-OH . . .

07/06/16 5:31 pm

Building regulations? I say.

Safety codes? says Terry.
Its a mere formality, says the inspector. Now,
if youll just be kind enough to let me in, Ill get
started on my rhyme.

Your rhyme? I say.

Yes, says the inspector.
I always do
My reports in rhyme.
Its fun for me
And helps pass the time.
TREE-NN

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85

07/06/16 5:31 pm

Okay, says Terry.

Thats fine by me.
Please feel free
To see our tree.

Well, thank you very much,

Young man.
Ill do my inspection
As fast as I can.

If I may
Ill start right here.
Uh-ohoh my
Oh nooh dear.
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TERRYS REPLY RHYMES, TOO!

07/06/16 5:31 pm

This staircase of yours

Should have a railing.
And no wheelchair ramp?
Thats a serious failing!

And where are your fire escapes,

Your hose reels and sprinklers,
Your safety blankets and fire extinguishers?
And Id very much like to see (if I can)
Your in-case-of-emergency exit plan.

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TREE-NN

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87

07/06/16 5:31 pm

These man-eating sharks

Should be swimming free.
Not kept as pets
In a tank in a tree.

And your bowling alley

Doesnt have any walls,
Which puts penguins at risk
From falling balls.

Or a ball could fall

On a persons head
And that poor person
Could end up dead.
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FALLING BOWLING BALLS A HEALTH HAZARD . . .

07/06/16 5:31 pm

Racing rocking horses

Around a track
Could result in injury
To the neck or back.

This X-ray room

Is in direct violation
Of the current health
and safety
Radiation regulations.

And what sort of stupid,

lame-brained twit
Would build themselves
a quicksand pit
And not even have
the sense or wit
To put a warning sign on it?

TREE-NN

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89

07/06/16 5:31 pm

This swimming pool

Should have a fence.
(It really is just
Common sense!)

And chain saw juggling

Is seriously dumb.
You could easily lose
A finger or thumb . . .

Or an ear or a knee
Or an elbow or nose
Or an arm or a leg
Or a foot or some toes!
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BREAKING NEWS: CHAIN SAW JUGGLING IS DUMB

07/06/16 5:31 pm

Your trampoline
Has no net, I see,
And its up really high
Near the top of the tree!

But, apart from those

few things, I say,
is everything else
in our treehouse okay?

TREE-NN

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91

07/06/16 5:31 pm

Inspector Bubblewrap sighs and shakes his head.

All things considered,
Im sorry to say
Theres no way I can issue
A permit today.

This treehouse of yours

Is an unsafe construction
And I must insist
On its total destruction.

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TREEHOUSE PERMIT DENIED!

07/06/16 5:31 pm

A crew of wreckers
Is now on their way,
So youd better get going;
Theres no way you can stay.

By twelve noon today

This place will be rubble.
If you stay any longer
Youll be in big trouble.
It will all be knocked down
Level by level
Get out while you can.
You remain at your peril!
TREE-NN

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93

07/06/16 5:31 pm

Yikes, says Bill the postman. Im out of here.

Should we go, too? says Terry.
No way! I say. This is our home!
But its going to be demolished!
Not if I can help it, I say.
But how? says Terry.

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FRIGHTENED POSTMAN FLEES TREE

07/06/16 5:31 pm

I dont know, I say.

Why dont we go and ask the three wise owls?
says Terry.
Of course, I say. Theyre so wise theyll know
exactly what to do.

We jet-chair up to the owl house on our jetpropelled office chairs and hover in front of the
owls.

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95

07/06/16 5:31 pm

O wise owls, says Terry, what should we do to

avoid the total demolition of our treehouse?
TICK! says the first wise owl.
TOCK! says the second wise owl.
HOO! says the third wise owl.

-1
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+1

Tick? Tock? Hoo? I say. What does that mean?

Hmmm, says Terry, frowning and repeating
their words. Tick-Tock-Hoo . . . Tick-TockHoo . . .
96

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TICK? TOCK? HOO?

07/06/16 5:31 pm

Do you think Tick-Tock means something to do

with time? I say.
Yes! says Terry. And Hoo must mean Doctor
Who. Hes a time traveler, right?
Yeah, I say, but how does that help us?

Dont you see? says Terry. The wise owls are

telling us we should travel back in time and get a
permit for the treehouse.
TREE-NN

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97

07/06/16 5:31 pm

That would be a great idea, I say, if we had a time

machine.
We do! says Terry. Ive built one on the level
the Once-upon-a-time machine used to be on.
Fantastic! I say. Lets go.

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We climb up to the time-machine level.

So we go in here? I say, heading for the door.
Thats not the time machine, says Terry. Thats
an egg timer I built. I hate it when my eggs get
overboiled. The time machine is over here.
98

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TERRYS NEW TIME MACHINE: EXCLUSIVE PIC!

07/06/16 5:31 pm

You put it in the trash bin? I say.

No, says Terry. It is the trash bin.
But why? I say.

Well, I was reading The Time Machine by H. G.

Wells, says Terry, and I thought that time travel
sounded like fun.
Yes, but why a wheelie bin? I say.
TREE-NN

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99

07/06/16 5:31 pm

Because its all I had, says Terry. Its not quite

finished but it should be fine to just go back a few
years to get our building permit.

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+1

You go first, Andy, says Terry.

I climb in and Terry climbs in after me and
closes the lid.
100

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TREEHOUSE TWO TO TAKE TIME-TRAVEL TRIP

07/06/16 5:31 pm

Its really cramped in here, I say. I thought time

machines were supposed to be small on the outside
and big on the inside.

Well, yeah, says Terry, they are, but it was only

designed for one person.
You were going to go time traveling without
me? I say.
No, says Terry. Well . . . when I say no . . . I
mean yes . . . but no . . . well, only a little bit . . .
TREE-NN

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101

07/06/16 5:31 pm

How do you drive this thing, anyway? I say.

Easy, says Terry. Set the chronometer for how
many years backor forwardyoud like to travel
and then push the blastoff button.
All right, I say.

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0
+1

I set the dial for six and a half years back. (Thats
just before we started building our treehouse.)

102

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TREE PAIR PREPARE FOR BLAST TO THE PAST

07/06/16 5:31 pm

But at that moment the lid opens.

Its Inspector Bubblewrap!
Its no use hiding, you know, he says.
The wrecking crew are on their way.
Theyll be here at exactly noon.
Get out and pack your belongings . . .
Or prepare to meet your doom.

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103

07/06/16 5:31 pm

No way, I say. Were staying right here.

Oh, no youre not! says the inspector.
He leans in and tries to grab us.
We crouch down as low as we can.

The inspector leans in farther, slips, and falls in on

top of us.

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104

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INSPECTOR BUBBLEWRAP TRASHED!

07/06/16 5:31 pm

OUCH!

UGH!

OOF!

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105

07/06/16 5:32 pm

Theres a weird whooshing sound.

Whats that noise? I say.
I think the time machine has started, says
Terry. The inspector must have bumped the
blastoff button as he fell in.
Time machine? says the inspector.
Yes, says Terry. Hold on, were going back in
tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime . . .

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TREE-NN BOOK NEWS: YOU HAVE JUST REACHED PAGE 106!

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07/06/16 5:32 pm

CHAPTER 5

PREHISTORIC
POND SCUM

We swirl for a long, long time.

Just when I think I cant stand it any longer, the
swirling stops.
Were coming in for a landing, says Terry.

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107

07/06/16 5:32 pm

WHAM!
The trash bin lands and we all fall out onto the
ground.

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Have we gone back six and a half years? I say.

108

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WHAM!

07/06/16 5:32 pm

Terry looks into the bin and checks the

chronometer. Oh no, he says. Weve traveled
650 million years back in time!

But I only set it for six and a half years back, I say.
The inspector must have knocked it when he
fell in, says Terry.
TREE-NN

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109

07/06/16 5:32 pm

Its not my fault! says the inspector. That

chronometer should have a safety guard on it.
And a time-machine blastoff button without
an emergency override directly contravenes
Regulation 3, Subsection 4.5, Paragraph 6, Line 22
of the Time Travel Blastoff Button Act.

-1
0
+1

I didnt even know there was a Blastoff Button

Act, says Terry.
Oh yes, says the inspector. Its right here in
this book, Rules and Regulations of the World:
Past, Present, and Future. I never go anywhere
without it.
110

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INSPECTOR BLASTS BLASTOFF BUTTON

07/06/16 5:32 pm

Hey, Andy, says Terry, look at this puddle. Its

full of pond scum, and one of the pond scum looks
just like you.

Youre right, I say. And that one looks just like

you!

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111

07/06/16 5:32 pm

-1
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Who are you calling pond scum, pal? says Pond

Scum Andy. Youre not exactly an oil painting
yourself.
Leave him alone, says Pond Scum Terry.
Wow, says Terry. Talking pond scum!

112

TREE-NN PREHISTORIC POND SCUM: EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

105-65723_ch01_2P.indd 112

07/06/16 5:32 pm

Thats no ordinary pond scum, says the inspector.

These are the worlds earliest simple life-forms.
Were witnessing the beginnings of life on earth!

You got that right, pal, says Pond Scum Andy.

But it could be the end for us anytime soon.
How come? says Terry.
Because the only thing keeping our puddle
from drying up is that overhanging rock ledge.

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07/06/16 5:32 pm

I look up at the rock ledge Terry is standing on.

I see what Pond Scum Andy means; it is the only
shade around here, and the sun is really hot!
Thats too bad, I say.

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114

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BREAKING NEWS: THE SUN IS REALLY HOT

07/06/16 5:32 pm

Its even worse for you, says Pond Scum Andy,

because if we dont make it, youll never exist at
all. At least weve had a life, even if we have spent it
just floating around in a puddle. I mean, its better
than nothing.
TREE-NN

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115

07/06/16 5:32 pm

What do you mean we wont exist? says Terry.

If life-forms like us get burned up, says Pond
Scum Terry, then complicated life-forms like you
will never get the chance to evolve.

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Oh no! says Terry, looking really worried.

Relax, I say, theyll probably make it. Theyve
got shade.
But not for long, says Terry. This rock ledge is
cracking. I think its about to break!

116

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ROCK LEDGE CRACKING DANGER: VERY HIGH

07/06/16 5:32 pm

You idiot, Terry! scream the pond scum as a large

piece of rock breaks off and crashes down into the
puddle.

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117

07/06/16 5:32 pm

That puddle should have a sun shelter over it, says

Inspector Bubblewrap. It contravenes Regulation
456, Section B, Part 2 of the Prehistoric Sun Shelter
Act. I therefore declare this puddle illegal!

-1
0
+1

What if we built a sun shelter? I say.

Youd need a permit for that, says the
inspector.

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TREE-NN PREHISTORIC POND-SCUM-PUDDLE PANDEMONIUM

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07/06/16 5:32 pm

Can you give us one? says Terry.

Well, under the circumstances and given that
the future of life on earth depends on it, says the
inspector, I think I could rush the paperwork
through.

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Great! I say. Lets get started.

TREE-NN

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119

07/06/16 5:32 pm

Pretty soon weve built the most amazing 65-story

prehistoric pond-scum-puddle sun shelter youve
ever seen.

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FIRST SUN SHELTER ON EARTH: EXCLUSIVE PIC

07/06/16 5:32 pm

There you go, says Terry. That should keep you

all sun safe for the next 300 million years or so!

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121

07/06/16 5:32 pm

Thanks, Terry, says Pond Scum Terry. Youre the

best.
No, Andy is the best, says Pond Scum Andy.
Thats where youre wrong, says Pond Scum
Terry. Because Terry is the best!
Youre the one whos wrong, says Pond Scum
Andy. Because you dont know what youre talking
about. Andy is the best. No contest!

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122

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FIRST ARGUMENT ON EARTH: EXCLUSIVE PIC

07/06/16 5:32 pm

The pond scum continue shouting at each other.

TERRY!
ANDY!
TERRY!
ANDY!

TREE-NN

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07/06/16 5:32 pm

Then things really get out of control.

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SPLASH! SPLOTT! SPLAT! SPLUTT! SPLOOSH!

07/06/16 5:32 pm

Lets leave them to it, I say. Wed better be

getting back to the future before this wheelie bin
melts in the heat. Its pretty soft already.

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125

07/06/16 5:32 pm

I hope our prehistoric pond-scum ancestors make

it, says Terry.
So do I, I say. But if they dont and we end up
not existing itll be all your fault.

-1
0
+1

But we do exist, says the inspector. So they must

have made it.
Yeah, I say. Thanks to me and my great idea
about building a pond-scum sun shelter.
126

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FUTURE LOOKS BRIGHT FOR POND SCUM

07/06/16 5:32 pm

And thanks to me for helping build it, says Terry.

And thanks to me for issuing the permit, says
the inspector.
Speaking of permits, I say, wed better be
getting to that permit office to apply for our
building permit so the treehouse doesnt have to
be demolished.

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127

07/06/16 5:32 pm

Sure thing, Andy, says Terry. Ive set the

chronometer for six and a half years before we left.
Hold on, everybodyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy . . .

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07/06/16 5:32 pm