52-Story Treehouse Excerpt

CHAPTER 1
THE 52-STORY
TREEHOUSE
Hi, my name is Andy.
WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof
This is my friend Terry.
We live in a tree.
Well, when I say tree, I mean treehouse. And

when I say treehouse, I dont just mean any old
treehouseI mean a 52-story treehouse!
(It used to be a 39-story treehouse, but weve
added another 13 stories.)
So what are you waiting for?

Come on up!
Weve added a watermelon-smashing room,
a chainsaw-juggling level,
a make-your-own-pizza parlor,
10
11
a rocket-powered carrot-launcher,
12
a giant hair dryer that is so strong it practically

blasts the hair right off your head,
13
a rocking horse racetrack,
14
15
a haunted house,
16
a wave machine,
17
a life-size snakes and ladders game

with real ladders and real snakes,
18
19
a 24-hours-a-day, 7-days-a-week, nonstop Punch

and Judy puppet show,
20
a remembering booth to help us remember

important stuff we might have forgotten,
21
a Ninja Snail Training Academy

(Terrys idea, not mine),
22
23
and a high-tech detective agency, which has all

the latest high-tech detective technology, like a
complete set of magnifying glasses (including one
so small that you need another magnifying glass
to see it), a hot-donut vending machine . . .
24
25
and a Disguise-o-matic 5000, which has a disguise

for every occasion!
26
27
As well as being our home, the treehouse is also

where we make books together. I write the words
and Terry draws the pictures.
28
As you can see, weve been doing this for quite a

while now.
29
Life in the treehouse isnt always easy, of course,
30
but one thing is for sure . . .
31
its never dull!
32
CHAPTER 2
THE MYSTERY OF THE

MISSING MR. BIG NOSE
If youre like most of our readers, youre probably

wondering how old we are. Well, its funny you
should be wondering that because today is actually
my birthday! I cant wait to see what sort of
amazing surprise Terry has planned for me.
33
Hes probably in the kitchen baking a cake for me

right now.
Hang on . . . Im in the kitchen . . . and theres no

cake-baking going on here.
Hmmm. He knows how much I love juggling
chainsaws. Maybe hes planning on throwing me a
surprise party on the chainsaw-juggling level!
34
Nope. There are a few chainsaws, a bit of blood

and a couple of severed fingers, but no Terry and
even worseno party!
Perhaps hes planning a make-your-own-pizza

party . . .
35
I climb up to the make-your-own-pizza parlor,

acting like Ive got no idea that Terrys waiting for
me and . . . guess what?
Hes not!
36
Okay. I think I know whats going onI bet hes

forgotten all about my birthday and hes in that
stupid Ninja Snail Training Academy! Hes been
spending all his time there lately trying to turn
a bunch of dumb snails into Ninjas (which, of
course, as everyone knows, is totally impossible!).
37
I climb up to the Ninja Snail Training Academy

and, sure enough, there he is.
Oh, hi, Andy! says Terry. Im just training my

Ninja Snails. Watch this!
38
Attack!
Fly!
39
Use super Ninja stealth!
Launch Ninja Snail death-stars!
40
Start a Ninja decoy fire!
Solve a Ninja crossword puzzle!
41
Terry, I say, theyre not doing anything.

Yes, they are, says Terry. Theyre just doing it
really slowly! So slowly you cant see them doing it.
This is a complete waste of time! I say. Especially

when there are more important things you could
be doing.
What could be more important than training
my snails to be Ninjas? says Terry.
Hmmm, let me see, I say. What about
remembering important dates? Like today, for
example!
42
Whats so special about today? says Terry.

Thats what I want you to tell me, I say.
Terry thinks for a moment and then says, Is it
underpants-changing day?
Thats every day! I say.
43
Is it underpants-washing day? says Terry.

NO!
Is it Wear Your Underpants On Your Head
Day? says Terry.
Theres no such thing!
Yeah, I know, says Terry, chuckling. But
wouldnt it be fun if there was?
44
No, it wouldnt be fun, I say. It would be

disgusting! I think youd better go to the
remembering booth and remember what day it is.
What about my Ninja Snails? says Terry.
Dont worry about them, I say. Im pretty
sure theyll be here when you get back . . . probably
in exactly the same spot.
Yes, because Ill tell them to stay, says Terry,
turning to the snails. STAY!
The snails dont move.

Look at that, he says proudly. And you said
snails couldnt be trained.
45
We go to the remembering booth.

Terry sits down and I lower the cone of
remembrance over his head and lock it into
position.
Okay, I say, its ready. You can start remembering

now.
46
Terry gets a dreamy look on his face.

Remember the time we came to the
remembering booth to try to remember what
was special about today? he says, as images of us
climbing up to the remembering booth appear on
the screens.
47
How could I ever forget it? I say. Especially since

it only happened ONE MINUTE AGO!
Hang on, Im remembering something else!

says Terry. Remember the time we set the wave
machine to the maximum possible size and had
that surfing competition and you got wiped out
and I won?
48
No, I say, I dont remember that at all.

Im not surprised, says Terry, you hit your
head pretty hard on those rocks. Look!
I shake my fist at him. Ill hit your head pretty

hard in a minute if you dont start remembering
what youre supposed to be remembering right
now.
49
Terry continues remembering. Remember the

time one of the ghosts from the haunted house got
out and haunted our toilet? he says.
Dont remind me, I say. I was so scared, I
needed to go to the toilet, but I couldnt go to the
toilet because there was a ghost in there!
50
And remember when I put my mouth over the

giant hair dryer and my head got really big? says
Terry.
Are you kidding? I say. That was the funniest day

ever, especially when I popped it with a pin!
51
Andy? says Terry. Ive just remembered

something else.
Is it to do with me?
Yes!
Well, I say, what is it?
I seem to remember that I vowed to get revenge
on you for popping my head with a pin.
Never mind that now, I say. Do you remember

anything else about me? Anything at all?
52
Yes, I do, says Terry. And its quite important,

too.
At last! Good work, Terry, I say. Well?
Were supposed to be writing a book, he says.
And its due any day now.
Uh-oh.
Terrys absolutely right.
We are supposed to be writing a book and it is
due any day now!
53
Its strange Mr. Big Nose hasnt called to remind

us, I say.
Yeah, says Terry. Were already up to page 54
and he usually calls around page 30!
CHAPTER 4
THE BIG RED NOSE

Yep, I was right. Its Mr. Big Nose. Nobody else in
the world has a nose that big.
I jet-chair over to the video phone and accept the

call. Its Mr. Big Nose all right. Nobody else in the
world has a nose that big.
red nose filled the
We raced back upstairs. A big
was Mr. Big Nose,
video-phone screen. Uh-oh. It
I could tell this
our publisher. And he was angry.
and redder
because his nose was even bigger
than usual.
The 13-Story
Treehouse page 33
What took you so long? he says. Im a busy man,

you know!
But it was only six rings, I say.
Dont argue! he says. Im a busy manI dont
the new book going?
33 have time to argue. Hows
So far, so good, I say. Im telling the story of
how Terry and I met.
Great idea! says Mr. Big Nose. How did you
two clowns meet, anyway?
Well, its a long story, I say, but its a pretty
exciting one, and
I dont have time to listen to long stories, says
30
The 26-Story
Treehouse page 30
What kept you? he says.

Sorry, I say. I was just explaining to the
readers how long it takes us to write a book.
32
The 39-Story
Treehouse page 32
105-59145_ch01_4P.indd 32
2/28/15 4:18 AM
Maybe wed better call him, I say, and remind

him to call us to remind us when our book is due,
otherwise well never get it done in time.
Good idea, says Terry.
54
We go to the 3-D video screen and call Mr. Big

Nose. We see his office, but we cant see Mr. Big
Nose. What we can see, though, are overturned
chairs, broken trophies, books all over the floor
and what looks like vegetable leaves everywhere.
55
Boy, he sure has a messy office, says Terry.

Thats no ordinary mess, I say. That is what is
known in the detective trade as signs of a struggle.
What sort of struggle? says Terry.
Thats exactly what we need to find out, I say.
56
Yay! says Terry. Weve got a mystery to solve!

A big one! The Mystery of the Missing Mr. Big Nose.
Wed better get to our high-tech detective
agency and get high-tech detecting immediately!
I say.
57
Should I go and get the Ninja Snails? says Terry.

No, I say, theyll just slow us down.
But theyre Ninjas! says Terry.
Theyre also snails, I say. Come on, weve got
no time to lose.
58
CHAPTER 3
ANDY & TERRYS

HIGH-TECH DETECTIVE
AGENCY
I dont know whether or not you have your own

high-tech detective agency, but if you do youll
probably know that it can take a long time to get
in because of all the high-tech security. Im not
just talking about boring, old-fashioned big-toe
recognition security, either.
59
Im talking big-toe, middle-toe, little-toe, wholefoot, lower-leg, upper-leg, left-buttock, rightbuttock, lower-back, middle-back, upper-back,
chest, arms, neck and head recognition security . . .
60
not to mention hair analysis,
blood tests,
retinal scans,
61
a dance contest . . .
and a really hard Andy & Terry trivia quiz!
62
By the time we finally get in were pretty hungry.

Lets have a donut, says Terry.
Good idea! I say. No detective ever solved a
mystery without the help of a hot jam donut.
63
We eat our donuts and think . . .
and think . . .
64
and think . . .
and think.
65
Well? I say. What do you think?

I think Id like another donut, says Terry.
Me too! I say.
We get two more hot jam donuts and continue
thinking . . .
and thinking . . .
66
and thinking . . .
and thinking.
67
Well? I say. What are you thinking?

About what? says Terry.
About how to solve The Mystery of the Missing
Mr. Big Nose, I say.
Beats me. Terry shrugs. I havent got a clue.

Thats it! I say. You havent got a clue. I havent
got a clue. We havent got any clues! We cant solve
a mystery without clues!
68
But where do we get clues from? says Terry.

From the scene of the crime, of course! I say.
Weve got to go to Mr. Big Noses office.
Great! says Terry. Lets ride there on our flying

beetroots.
We cant, I say. They disappeared about a week
ago.
Another mystery, says Terry, frowning. The
Mystery of the Missing Flying Beetroots.
Yes, I say, but we have to solve The Mystery of
the Missing Mr. Big Nose first. Well take the flying
fried-egg car to his office.
69
No problem, says Terry. Ill just choose a suitable

disguise.
All right, I say, but make it fast. We dont want
the clues to go cold.
Sure, Andy, says Terry, heading for the
Disguise-o-matic 5000.
70
Im climbing into the flying fried-egg car when

somebody taps me on the shoulder. I turn around.
Its an old man.
Who are you? I say.
Dont you recognize your best friend? chuckles

the old man. Its meTerry! Im in disguise!
71
Terry! I say. Quit mucking around. This is

serious! Terry? Terry?
Hes gone again. In his place is a big, fat, slimy
frogpotamus.
Yeuch! I hate those things!
Get out of here! I yell. Didnt you read our last

book? The treehouse is a frogpotamus-free zone!
Relax, says Terry, stepping out of the
frogpotamus costume. Its just me again.
72
I step forward to throttle him but I find my hands

clutching a metal pole instead of his neck. I look
up. Its a stop sign.
Terry? I call. Where are you?

Right here, says the stop sign. Terry peels off
the costume and laughs. Gotcha!
73
Stop doing that! I say.

Stop what? he says.
Stop dressing up like a
stop sign and stop playing
with the Disguise-o-matic
5000! Its a high-tech
detective tool, not a toy!
Sorry, he says, but once
you start its hard to STOP.
Get it?
Yes.
Then why arent you
laughing?
Because its not funny.
Yes, it is.
No, its NOT!
Yes, it is.
STOP saying Yes, it is!
I say. ITS NOT FUNNY!
74
Yes, it is, Terry insists. I dressed up like a stop

sign and you told me to stop dressing up like a
stop sign and
Excuse me, Terry, I say. Im very sorry to have

to do this.
What? he says.
This, I say, giving him a short sharp tap on the
head with a magnifying glass.
75
Thanks, says Terry. I needed that.

Dont mention it, I say. Thats what friends are
for. Come on! To the flying fried-egg car!
We jump in and pull the yolk down tightly over

the top of us.
76
I press EXTRA SIZZLE on the control panel . . .
and we take off through the concealed flying friedegg car hatch in the top of the detective agency.
77
78
79
We fly through Mr. Big Noses window and park

next to his bookshelf.
Terry takes out the two biggest magnifying glasses

and starts looking for clues.
80
Hmm, very interesting, he says.

I see a magnifying glass . . .
I see a hand holding a magnifying glass . . .
81
I see an arm attached to a hand thats holding a

magnifying glass . . .
Hmmm . . . this is a definite clue, Andy, a very

definite clue!
Yes, I say, a very definite clue that you are very
definitely an idiot!
82
Well, I dont see you doing any detecting, says

Terry, peering at me through the second-biggest
magnifying glass.
Give me that thing, I say, snatching it off him.
I scan the office.
Theres a book lying on the floor next to Mr. Big
Noses desk. I pick it up and examine it closely.
83
What is it? says Terry.

It appears to be a book about vegetables.
Vegetables? says Terry. Yuck! I hate
vegetables!
I know, I say. And so do I. But we have to look
at it. It might be a clue.
84

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CHAPTER 1

Hi, my name is Andy.

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

This is my friend Terry.

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

Well, when I say tree, I mean treehouse. And

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

So what are you waiting for?

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

Weve added a watermelon-smashing room,

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

a giant hair dryer that is so strong it practically

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

a rocking horse racetrack,

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

a life-size snakes and ladders game

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

a 24-hours-a-day, 7-days-a-week, nonstop Punch

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

a remembering booth to help us remember

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

a Ninja Snail Training Academy

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

and a high-tech detective agency, which has all

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

and a Disguise-o-matic 5000, which has a disguise

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

As well as being our home, the treehouse is also

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

As you can see, weve been doing this for quite a

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

Life in the treehouse isnt always easy, of course,

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

but one thing is for sure . . .

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

its never dull!

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

THE MYSTERY OF THE

If youre like most of our readers, youre probably

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

Hes probably in the kitchen baking a cake for me

Hang on . . . Im in the kitchen . . . and theres no

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

Nope. There are a few chainsaws, a bit of blood

Perhaps hes planning a make-your-own-pizza

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

I climb up to the make-your-own-pizza parlor,

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof

Okay. I think I know whats going onI bet hes

WBRT: Prepress/Printers Proof