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ABANDONED

PARENTS
LAW AND SOCIETY
SAM 2293
GROUP 3

NAME MATRIC NO.


MARHANIS SYAZWANI BT MOHD FUAT 085726

ALIA BT ABDULLAH 085814

NADRA FATIMA BT MANNAN 085789

NUR FARHANAH BT AZMI 085162

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Topic page no.


I. Abstract
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II. Definition
4
III. Types of people who abandon Their parents
4-5
IV. selected old folks home profile
5-6
V. Islamic view

 Position of parents
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 The wrongs committed by children To their
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parents
VI. Can child abuse lead to abandoned Parents?
8-9
VII. How to encourage children to love their
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parents?
VIII. Generation gap
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IX. Social welfare policy
11
X. How to solve the problem
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XI. Laws relating to abandoned parents
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XII. BIBLIOGRAPHY
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ABSTRACT

N
owadays, the rapid development of technology has enhanced the width of
generation gap between the elders and the younger ones. The value of loving
family institution has been tarnished by greed, position- struggle and impatience.
Such people who are merciless towards their aged parents and willing to abandon them in
hospitals, nursing homes and even in streets are career- driven people, as well as forced by
poverty and incapability. Islam has a strict view pertained the phenomenon and is portrayed
by the Holy Quran. There are a few methods that can be highlighted so that children have a
strong sense of love and care towards their parents. Other methods on how to overcome this
social problem will be presented within this assignment, as well as the area of law that is
related to abandoned parents that can be used to provide a better life to the elders.

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Definition

Abandon1 is referred to the action of withdrawing a person or a thing entirely; putting


aside all care for him or it. Parent are referred to the lawful father or mother. Thus, the action
of abandoning parents is when a child had neglected all of their responsibilities towards their
parents, by time the parents are incapable of caring for themselves. It is the responsible of the
children to take a great care of their parents when the parents are unable to care for her or his
own self as well as to protect them from being taken advantage of by unscrupulous strangers.
The abandonment of parents or elder abuse indicates that the elderly have always been
subject to abuse by close family members, especially the children either mentally or
physically infliction of injury that harms or the financial exploitation of the older individual.

Type of People Who Abandon Parents. And Why?

1) Neglected children

People who have been neglected when they were young by their parents are likely to do
the same to their parents in their ‘Golden days.’ This can be closely related to the saying,
‘what goes around comes around.’ These children fail to appreciate their parents’
existence because their parents failed to do so when they were growing up. Thus, they
feel as though abandoning their parents would just be a matter of convenience. This could
occur in families where their parents were too busy to spend time with their children.

2) Abused children.

According to University Malaya Medical Centre clinical psychiatrist2 abused children


become abusive when they grow up. Abusing in this sense means the act of neglecting
their responsibly as children to care for their parents and thus abandoning them. Also,
KLH medical social work department revealed that 82% of the old folk abandoned in the

1
James A. Ballentine. Ballentine’s Law Dictionary, (New York: Lawyers Cooperating Publishing, 1969), p. 1
2
The Star Online, Sunday July 26, 2009

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hospitals were males. One reason could be that males tend to behave more violently than
females.

3) Children with financial difficulties

Children could not bear the cost of taking care of their aged and infirm parents are
treating hospitals like a “dumping ground” because food, shelter and medication are
provided by the government. This especially applies to people children whose parents are
bedridden and or with medical complications. Their parents are financial burdens to them
when then can spend their money on other necessities involving their own family.

4) Children with not enough space and time

Some people who abandon their parents believe that their parents are taking too much of
their space at home or taking too much of their time. The first concerns more about
children who have a large family themselves but live on a small property. By having
their parents around, they feel as if their parents are taking too much space in the house
which was initially meant for just his/her own family. The latter concerns working
men/women who are busy with their own activities that they are incapable to allocate
time for their parents care and maintenance.

SELECTED OLD FOLKS HOME PROFILE

Rumah Seri Kenangan Kangar, Perlis3

This home is specifically for the elders, all of whom which had been abandoned by their
children. Section 47 of Rules for Management of Older Persons 1983 has provided the

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Abdul Rani, Zaimi SOCIAL WELFARE POLICIES AND SERVICES FOR THE ELDERLY: A COUNTRY REPORT
th
(MALAYSIA); the 5 ASEAN & Japan High Level Officials Meeting on Caring Societies: Collaboration of Social
Welfare and Health Services, and Development of Human Resources and Community ~Community Services for
the Elderly~ (27-30 August 2007, Tokyo, Japan)

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criteria of admission for the elders to the old folk home. All application will be investigated
and will be considered base on the following criteria:

 Needy elderly, aged 60 years and above


 Not suffering from contagious diseases
 Not having relatives or guardians
 No permanent shelter
 Able to look after him or herself

This home provides numbers of facilities to help the elders undergo their lives just like
any other normal human being. Among the services provided are as follow:

 Care (medically) and protection


 Counseling and guidance
 Occupational therapy
 Religious facilities
 Recreation

The management of Rumah Seri Kenangan Kangar has the rights to discharge the elders
if there is any person who willing to provide proper care and protection over him/her and
when the elders had found suitable means of livelihood.

Rumah Seri Kenangan in Kangar has a Board of Visitors specially appointed under the
same Rules for the Management of Older Person’s Home 1983 allowing no less than seven
members, including at least two men or women. The appointments of the board members
were made by the Honorable Minister of Women, Family and Community Development,
with each appointment not exceeding three years. This is to ensure the administration and
services of the home are run smoothly and orderly as well as the welfare of the residents are
attended to.

Members of society are encouraged to visit the residents of Rumah Seri Kenangan so that
the residents wouldn’t feel neglected by society.

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The Position of Parents According to Islamic Perspective

Islam is the manifestation of the perfection of Allah’s creation; whereby it protects the
rights of a human being with just and fairness and restore the dignity of mankind which had
eroded during the era of Jahiliyyah. Including in lists are the positions of parents.

Islam upholds the noble position of parents and Muslim children must show such
obedience, loyalty, love and kindness to them that they shall be entitled to be the heirs of
Paradise.

Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents.
Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say no to them a word of contempt,
nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour.

And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on
them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood”
(Al-Isra’, 17: 23-24)4

Allah has bestowed a sprinkle of His attributes, Al- Rahman and Al-Rahim (The Most
Gracious and The Most Merciful) so that all His creations can love and be gentle without
preconditions; only in the hearts and instincts of parents to their children. Allah has
embedded a spark of his attribute, Al-Wahhab so that the hearts of a mother and a father are
full of love and kindness, so that they can give without being asked for, so that they can give
with ultimate willingness, so that they can give their very precious without asking for
reciprocation, and so that they can give something that is pure and sacred to yield the great
generations that will be the ideal vicegerents of the world.

4
‘Abdullah Yusuf Ali. The Holy Quran Text and Translation, (Petaling Jaya: Islamic Book Trust, 2006), p. 626
& 627.

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Islamic View on the Wrongs Committed by Children against
Their Parents.

Islam strictly abhors and prohibits its people to be rude and unkind to their parents, even
a single word of ‘ah’; and such prohibition is escorted by the threat of Persecution with Fire:

But (there is one) who says to his parents, “Fie on you! Do you hold out the promise to me
that I shall be raised up even though generations have passed before me (without rising
again)?” And the two seek Allah’s aid, (and rebuke the son): “Woe to you! Have faith! For
the promise of Allah is true.” But he says, “This is nothing but the tales f the ancients!”

And on the Day that the Unbelievers will be placed before the Fire, (it will be said to them):
“You received your good things in the life of the world, and you took your pleasure out of
them: but today shall you be recompensed with the Penalty of humiliation: for that you were
arrogant without just cause, and that you (ever) transgressed.”

(Al-Ahqaf, 46: 17 & 20)


When parents have reached their old age, it is an obligation for the children to treat their
parents with patience and love as what they have portrayed during childhood. No mother or
father should be placed in nursing homes, alone and lonely; with the absence of their
children’s love and care due to the reasons that the children are busy with their professions
and families. Even though some parents are non-Muslims, hypocrites, grave-sinners, or
abusive, they have the rights to be treated gently and with care as long as they live.

Can Child Abuse leads to Abandoned Parents?

An opinion has been established that everything that happens in this world is the
consequence of the past. An English quotation that comes into mind when discussing about
this principle is ‘What goes around comes around’. According to Jim Collins5, the world is
rotating in the manner of ‘karma’ in which everything that happens in present day is based on
the settings from the past.

5
author of Good to Great

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In relation with the topic ‘abandoned parents’, it can be concluded that this phenomenon
has its roots growing from the childhood memories, for instance, children were being abused
by their parent or parents; physically, mentally or sexually. The nightmare experienced by the
children has eroded the love and reliance that existed naturally and are replaced by hatred and
vengeance resulting in growing intention to get rid of the parents whenever they can6.
According to the statistic from the Kuala Lumpur Hospital Medical Social Department, 82%
of the old folk abandoned in the hospital were males, and it can be concluded that males have
the tendency to behave violently to their children at home.

No Matter How Parents Treat Their Children, How Do You


Encourage Children to Love Their Parents.

1) Build a strong parent-child relationship at a young age.

Just like with any relationship, building a positive relationship between parent and child
is important to build a strong and caring relationship. Maintaining a close relationships
and open communications helps to ensure parents and their children stay connected
through all ages of their upbringing.

2) Teach your faith Islam as a religion based on morals.

Morality overlays the Shariah. According to Islamic Laws, it is a sin to abandon parents
as parents hold a noble position in Islam. Even though parents are abusive or rude, they
still have the right to treated with love and care by their children. Thus, by educating
children on Islamic morals, the children will appreciate their parents as it is a command
addressed by Allah to all man-kind.7

6
Sunday Star, 26 July 2009
7
Hassan Ibrahim. Islam: a Religious Political, Social and Economic Study, (Iraq: University of Baghdad Press,
1967), p 43

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3) Make your children a priority in your life.

Parents have many responsibilities. These responsibilities could include their work-life,
their social-life and their family-life. It is crucial for parents to know how to balance
between the three. Parents need to realize that out of the three, their family-life is the
most important to avoid their children from feeling neglected and unloved. Their
children should be the first on their list of priorities.

4) Respect your children’s choices.

Children reach out for independence at a young age, and parents can help to foster
those decision-making skills by being supportive and even looking the other way on
occasion. By respecting your children’s choices, they will feel appreciated. They will
not feel as though they are being looked down upon their parents. Therefore, they too
will appreciate their parents.

What is Generation Gap?


Generation gap is a popular term used to describe differences in values and attitudes
between people of a younger generation and their elders, especially between a child and his
or her parent's generation. The generation differences is particularly concerned with respect
to such matters as musical tastes, fashion, living style, food habit, etiquette and politics.
Generation gap is very problematic because it breaks the family unit as the central authority
of the paternal figure has become redundant due to the differences in values of the two
generations. The idea behind this is that elders want young to live risk-free life, to follow
customs and to live the way they lived their life. On other hand, youngsters want to live their
life king size, want to choose their career, partner and life style. Youth want to take risk in
life and thus don’t try to get into traditional way to earn. This conflict in values between the
two generations causes youngsters to lose respect for elders. In the end, this may lead to the
topic being discussed here which is that children will abandoned their parents in the olden
days.

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The Social Welfare Policy on Abandoned Parents

The National for Older Persons8 was approved on October 1995 by the government and
Malaysia is one of the earliest countries in Asia Pacific to have this policy. The objectives of
this policy are as follows:

 To establish and develop the dignity and respect for the elderly in the family,
community and country
 To develop the potential among the elderly to maintain their activeness and
productivity in the process of developing the country
 Encouraging to create facilities to ensure care and protection for the elderly toward a
better living

The policy is as follow:

To ensure the social status, dignity and well being of older persons as members of the
family, society and nation by enabling them to optimize their self potential, have access to
all opportunities and have provision for care and protection.

The policy is established to ensure the older persons enjoy the basic rights of an
individual while in care and under treatment by taking into consideration of their self-respect,
beliefs and needs as well as to enable the elders to have access to social and legal services
towards advancement of their individual rights, protection and care.

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Servives By Older Persons and Family Division

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How to Solve This Growing Problem?

With the increasing numbers of parents being abandoned by their children, it is now the
right time to change our attitude towards becoming a more responsible person. Parents ought
to be treated respectfully, as they are the one who raise us with sweat, shed and tears.

1) Heavy sanction

The most significant way of solving this problem is to punish children who neglect their
parents with equal sanction. This is definitely the best way of curbing this problem as
children might think twice before they abandon their parents, worrying about the
punishment that awaits them. Furthermore, most of religion teaches its follower that the
most ultimate sin is to betray parents. Only law enable these ungrateful children to be
punished under court of law before they are judge under God’s laws in the afterlife.

2) Family first

Secondly, it is crucial for the parents now a day to have a strong bond relationship with
their children, as to avoid of being neglected. Children at this very moment are different
with those in the past. With so much influence from media and peers, they tend to follow
their emotion rather than to think rationally with their mind. This is due to the lack of
attention given by their parents, as money becomes more important than their own
children.

3) Be prepared

Last but not least, it is essential for the children to be mentally and physically prepared
so that they won’t feel the burden to take care of their own parent as care own self first
before taking care others. Children are encourages to always ask for professional help
when needed as it can save their own life from pressure. To be a good caregiver, one
must sincere to carry their responsibility towards their parents.

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Laws Relating to Abandoned Parents
The laws relating to this problem varies throughout nations. In Singapore, for example,
those parents aged above 60 years and who do not have the means of supporting themselves,
can sue their children for upkeep under the Maintenance of Parents Act9.

Malaysia, being one of a few countries that uphold Syariah Law has Islamic Law that
governs the welfare of family matters including the ageing parents, following the case in
which a couple sued their daughter for not providing sufficient maintenance as what they
have agreed.

According to Malaysian Destitute Persons Act 1977, any idle person including elders
that is found in public places whether or not he is begging; who has no visible means of
subsistence or place of residence or is unable to give a satisfactory account of himself, the
authority has the power to require a destitute person to reside in a welfare home.

The federal government of United States of America passed the Older American Acts
Amendments of 1987 which required state area agencies on ageing to determine the need in
the state for protective services to assist the elderly and to investigate problems affecting
older Americans10.

9
The Star, Monday, 27 July 2009; N3
10
J.D. Helewitz, Jeffrey A.,Elder Law (Canada: West Thomson Learnings,2000)p. 274

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BIBLIOGRAPHY

 Ali, ‘Abdullah Yusuf, The Holy Quran Text and Translation, (Petaling Jaya: Islamic

Book Trust, 2006)

 Bainham, Andrew; Schlater, Shelly Day; Richards, Martin, What is a Parent? A

Socio- Legal Analysis, (Oregon: Hart Publishing, 1999)

 Ballentine, James A., Ballentine Law Dictionary, (New York: Lawyers Cooperative

Publishing, 3rd ed., 1969)

 Bytheway, Bill, Ageism, (Buckingham: Open University Press., 1995)

 Hassan, Hassam Ibrahim, Islam: a Religious Political, Social and Economic Study,

(Iraq: University of Baghdad Press: 1967)

 Helewitz, Jeffrey A., Elder Law (Canada: West Thompson Learning, 2000)

 Abdul Rani, Zaimi SOCIAL WELFARE POLICIES AND SERVICES FOR THE
ELDERLY: A COUNTRY REPORT (MALAYSIA); the 5th ASEAN & Japan High Level
Officials Meeting on Caring Societies: Collaboration of Social Welfare and Health
Services, and Development of Human Resources and Community ~Community
Services for the Elderly~ (27-30 August 2007, Tokyo, Japan)

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