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 Real Entertaining for Real People
Okay, ladies, let’s have a show of hands. Everyone who feels like
they just don’t have what it takes to pull off a successful meal or a party in your home, raise your hand. I see your nervous hands!
Now, everyone who feels totally at ease and 100 percent sure of
yourself as a hostess, raise your confident hand…. Um, where did the hands go?
I know the reasons why those hands stay stuck to our sides. I
also know the simple steps necessary to fix this growing problem
that keeps us and our families isolated instead of connected—alone
instead of together. Through my blog, Reluctant Entertainer, I
have helped women across the country transform from a reluctant entertainer to a confident one.
One of the main reasons we remain reluctant and isolated is
that we have bought in to the thinking that perfection is required
in order to be hospitable. This belief is a mistake I once held, which
I realized after eating dinner at a friend’s house.As a young mother with a baby on the way, I was apprehensive when my husband, Paul, came home from work and informed me
that we were going to the home of a new artist friend of Paul’s
for dinner. Because I didn’t know the family, I felt nervous. But as
 
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Sandy Coughlin
I walked into their home, I realized it was . . . normal. It actually was a little chaotic, as four small children ran around in the usual sequence of
life.My senses kicked into high gear as
I smelled the incredible aroma of garlic
and fresh bread. Right away I felt at home. We sat down to a feast of some of the best Italian cooking I’ve ever tasted. The hostess was gorgeous inside and out. Her dark Italian eyes were piercing, and her smile welcoming. Her hair was long and mussed up, and I don’t
even remember her clothing, but I do remember the glow about her as
she served us.
I realized later that our conversation was different from what I had
experienced at many social events. It was real. I thought,
These people are not trying to impress.
They truly cared about us, about our family and our lives. Even though their home seemed slightly out of order, they knew the true meaning of hospitality: It’s a matter of the heart. They understood
people and connection. They took these essential ingredients of hospitality and put them to use. They understood that hospitality is unique to rebuild-
ing communities, restoring relationships, and reviving families.
GLUE THAT CONNECTS
What a lesson for me. Little did I know how that meal would shape my
thinking and help me become more flexible. As I watched the dynamics
of this home and the love that flowed—while kids ran everywhere and dishes stacked up by the sink—I realized hospitality doesn’t have to be perfect, it just needs to be from the heart. It’s the glue that connects us
with each other.I love to share this story to point out that hospitality comes in different shapes and sizes. To some it may mean an elaborate dinner party. To others
it’s a casual party with kids underfoot. And to some others it may mean
opening their home to out-of-town company or taking cookies to a neighbor.
Understanding people is an art in itself, and it’s a big piece of the pie when it comes to simple acts of kindness that you can offer to anyone.

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