Aku dilahirkan di sebuah kampung terpencil, terletak kira- kira 30 batu jauhnya dari

pekan kecil, Kuang, Hulu Selangor.

I was born in an isolated village, located about 30 miles away from small town,
Kuang, Hulu Selangor.

Menjadi seorang ibu tunggal kepada anak kecil yang baru dilahirkan kira- kira 3
bulan lepas, aku mendapati ianya amat sukar untuk aku menguruskan segala
keperluan, termasuk mencari tempat tinggal setelah kami dihalau keluar dari rumah
sewa.

Being a single mother to a newborn child about 3 months ago, I found that it was
very difficult to prepare all the necessities including to find a home after we had
been chased out from our rented house.

Bekas suamiku seorang pemabuk, penagih dadah, dan apa sahaja yang negatif
tidak dilakukannya, termasuk mempermainkan wanita, dimana aku sendiri menjadi
mangsa kerakusannya ketika aku berumur 17 tahun, di waktu gadis seusiaku
sedang sibuk mengatur rencana kehidupan.

My ex husband was an alcoholic, drug addict, and to list all the negative things he
had done, including deceiving women, and I was one of them who had been
cheated when I was 17, at the time all the girls of my age were busy in planning
their future

Sedang aku mengelamun, anakku Faris, merengek, mungkin kelaparan. Aku bingkas
bangun mencari botol susu, lantas teringat bahawa aku sebenarnya telah kehabisan
bekalan susu. Oh dimana harusku cari wang untuk membeli susu untuk anakku.
Tiba- tiba, airmataku mengalir, mengenangkan nasib kami. Faris, ampunkan ibu. Ibu
tidak dapat menjalankan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang penjaga dengan baik.
Rengekan Faris bertukar kepada tangisan yang semakin lama semakin kuat. Aku
tertekan, tidak tahu apa yang harus dilakukan. Yang terbayang dalam fikiranku ialah
memberi Faris kepada orang lain. Demi masa depan Faris yang amat ku sayangi,
aku membawa Faris menuju ke rumah berhampiran. Tidak terbendung kesedihanku
sambil kata- kata kemaafan ku ucapkan kepada Faris yang sedang kelaparan.

Dengan kain batik menutupi Faris yang sedang menggigil kesejukan dan kelaparan,
aku melajukan langkahku menuju ke pondok using yang terletak di tepi sawah itu.
Hujan yang turun renyai, menjadikan aku semakin bimbang, kalau- kalau Faris
mungkin demam akibat terkena hujan tersebut.

While I was feeling worried, my son, Faris whined, probably he was hungry. I quickly
stood up and looked for the feeding bottle, and suddenly I remembered that I had
finished the milk supply. Oh where could I find the money to buy the milk for my
son? Suddenly, my tears were running down on my cheeks, wondering about our
fate. Faris, forgive me. I cannot fulfill my responsibility for being a good mother.
Fariss whining changed into cries, which sooner became very loud. I was so
depressed, not knowing what to do. What was on my mind was giving Faris to
someone else. For the sake of Fariss future who I dear so much I took Faris to a
nearby house. I could not bear the sadness, at the same time I asked forgiveness to
Faris, who had been crying non- stopped because of hungry.

With a batik covering Faris who was shivering and starving, I fastened my pace
towards the house, which was located on the edge of a paddy field. The drizzling
made me feeling worried that Faris probably caught a fever caused by the rain.