Avoiding Destructive Behavior

Not pugnacious
1 Timothy 3:3; Titus 1:7

This chapter is a continuation of the last chapter that dealt with the subject anger,
but it takes to a whole different level.
So why talk about anger, arent we all after all good people, born again, washed
by the blood of Jesus Christ.
But the one thing that is made clear by the author, is that each and everyone us,
without exception, can take anger to the extreme.
Why is that? Simply put, our Sin nature.
Story:
I want to start off with a story about D.L. Moody, a well-known evangelist of the
nineteenth century. Mr. Moody was conducting two evangelistic services back to
back. And after the first service, he was greeting the new crowd as they walked in,
when a man approached him and delivered a or what many believed to be highly
offensive insult of some sort. And in a sudden display of anger, Moody shoved the
man down a short flight of steps.
(How many of us have been in similar situation, its Wednesday and its your turn to
share the lesson. But just a few hours ago you had a really nasty argument with a
coworker and things got really heated. You probably even said some halleluiahs.)
Though not badly hurt, those attending the meeting witnessed what had just
happened. I am sure many were asking themselves if the meeting would continue,
for who could forget what they had just witnessed.
But none the less, Moody continued with the meeting, acknowledging to those
attending, that he had just yielded to anger just minutes ago. He confessed his
actions to and asked to be forgiven by all those affected by his actions.
(Moody knew that the only way forward, was to confess his sin before God. If it
wasnt for His Mercy, His Grace and His Forgiveness, we could not move forward.
But God chooses to forgive, so that we may continue forward!)
Anger Out of Control
Pugnacious describes what the Greek word pleek-tees.
What does it mean?
Pugnacious literally means a giver of blows, a striker, violent, or a bully.
It is anger out of control.
Cain and Abel
There is no doubt that the effects of the Fall are numerous and far-reaching,
affecting every aspect of who we are as humans. It produced in us a state of
depravity.
The account of Cain and Abel shows us how sin, when left unchecked, can have
irrevocable consequences.
It went from resentment to murder.
And as we can see from scripture, we all have a choice when it comes to sin.
Genesis 4:7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do
what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule
over it.
Mosess Serious Sin
No one is exempt from the consequences of sin, not even great men of God.
That why we are told never to set your eyes on man, but on Him, the founder and
perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).
Exodus 2:11-15 gives us the account of the killing of the Egyptian by Moses.
One thing that I do want to note here, is that there will always be consequences to
our actions.
Some which may be irrevocable, like in the murders of Cain and Egyptian.
Moses was not allowed into the promised land (Numbers 20) because he gave into
anger.
Too Close for Comfort
Sometimes we dont even know why we hate to the point of killing.
What is it about war that brings it out the worst in people?
World War 2 claimed the lives of approximately 72 million people, some of which
were murdered senselessly, as it was in the case of the Jews.
How is it that normal sensible people would be moved to commit such heinous
crimes?
The truth is that all human beings have same potential.
We have a sin nature that can lead us to do horrible things.
Eichmann IS in All of US
As a result of the Fall, sin is in each of us-not just the predisposition to sin, but sin
itself.
When It Hits Home
We have all experienced it, whether we were the one administrating physical
violence or on the receiving end.
We know how destructive it can be.
Root Causes in Our Culture
The value of human life?
Valuing material things and money above people is one of the true root causes of
our cultures destruction.
Fox 4 did a story back in April of this year regarding a shooting that took place in
south Dallas, in which a 17-year-old was shot and killed over a cell phone.
These occurrences are all too common in our society today.
Domestic Violence
The problem is so great that the need for womens shelters exist.
The national coalition against domestic violence defines this kind of behavior as
the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other
abusive behavior perpetrated by an intimate partner against another. In terms of
the presence of domestic violence, they conclude it is an epidemic affecting
individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, race, religion,
nationality, or educational background.
The following are statistics regarding this all common occurrence.
One in five women has experienced an attempted or completed rape.
During one year in the United States, more than 10 million women are abused by
an intimate partner.
19.3 million women in the United States have been stalked in their lifetime.
1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90
percent of those children are eyewitnesses.
Intimate partner violence accounts for 15 percent of all violent crime.
Our Most Violent Crime
In the United States, it is against the unborn.
Planned Parenthood alone performs 323,999 abortions per year, that is at a rate of
37 babies per hour.
664,435 legal induced abortions were reported to the CDC in 2013 from 49
reporting areas.

Points of Action
The project designed for overcoming a quick temper in the previous chapter is also
applicable to overcoming violent behavior. But here are some additional suggestions
for dealing with anger:
Be Sure You Are Not Striking Out at People Verbally
Ask yourself the following questions:
How frequently do I talk about other peoples problems?
With whom do I share this information?
How often do I repeat negative information about a particular person?
What kind of emotional reaction do I have when I talk about somebody
elses problems?
Make Sure You Follow a Biblical Approach to Handling Personal
Offenses, Forgiveness, and Sin
Study carefully the following Scriptures:
If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you,
you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two
more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact
may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if
he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a
tax collector. (Matt. 18:1517)
Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual,
restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so
that you too will not be tempted. Bear one anothers burdens, and thereby
fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is
nothing, he deceives himself. (Gal. 6:13)

Once You Isolate Areas of Resentment in Your Own Personality,

Proceed to Deal with Them
You might follow this sequence:
1. Confess your sin to God.
2. Pray for Gods help in overcoming the problem.
3. Write out some specific goals to help you overcome your problem. For
example, you might write, I will not talk about Jim in a derogatory way, or I
will talk personally to Jim about the problem. If Jim hurts me, I will
communicate with him face-to-face rather than get even through gossiping
about him.
4. If you hurt someones reputation, ask the person to forgive you.
Seek Professional Help if You Have a Problem with Physically
Abusing Others
If you have a serious and persistent problem with anger and loss of emotional
and physical control, and if you have not been able to overcome the problem
through the previous suggestions, by all means seek professional help from a
Christian psychiatrist or psychologist. You may need someone to help you
analyze the problem and its root cause, and then support you in overcoming
it.
Remember: You cannot expect someone else to solve your problem. Another
person can only assist you. You must take the initiative and become a mature
person in Jesus Christ, regardless of how difficult it is.
Warning: Abusive people are similar to alcoholics in that they often live in a
state of denial. Until they admit their problem, they cannot be helped.
Have you experienced verbal abuse? Would you be willing to share with us
why it happened, how it affected you, and what you are doing to overcome it?
To what extent have you observed or even experienced the kind of abuse
described in this chapter? Has it been verbal or physical or both?
Why do abused people frequently grow up and abuse others by repeating
the same patterns? How can these patterns of behavior be broken?
Why has sexual abuse become so rampant in our society?
What can we do as Christian men to help solve this problem in our culture?