Anikah Skarda

A7/8
OPTION A: PROTOTYPES

15 Things I look for in a Mate:

Fundamentally Similar to Me
Loves me Regardless of Flaws and Imperfections
Attractive
Loyal
Sense of Humor/Fun
My Best-friend
Reliable
Shared Values
Hardworking
Able to Forgive and Forget
Honest
Interested in Me and my Life
Strong Sense of Character
Strong Desire to Listen to Me
Excited for Life
I believe the 5 most important traits from these are to be fundamentally similar to me, to be my
best friend, to be loyal, to have a strong desire to listen to me, and to be hardworking. I picked
these 5 because I believe they will guide me to someone that will make my life easier and
happier.
If the person I'm with is similar to me then day to day life will be easier. It turns out that its
actually a common assurance in the United States for people to form couple relationships with
people from similar backgrounds (Strong and Cohen, 2014, pg.162). Making decisions and
sharing opinions is much simpler because both will understand each other faster when they
have a similar idea or process of explanation. Over all this will minimize or even take away
stress, frustration, and confusion.
Having a best friend around also can take away stress. It helps to satisfy our need for intimacy,
Strong and Cohen say, We need to form relationships in which we can share ourselves with
others, exchange affection, and feel connected (Strong and Cohen, 2014, pg.146). Which is
exactly what people do with best friends. Later on they talk about friendship and love saying,
They help preserve both our physical and mental well being (Strong and Cohen, 2014, pg.
147). Of course this will be a very important thing for living and being happy.
Loyalty will also be especially important. The triangular theory of love consists of intimacy,
passion, and commitment (Strong and Cohen, 2014, pg.159). Commitment is thought to reflect
the stable factors that help maintain a relationship, for better or for worse (Strong and Cohen,
2014, pg. 151). Because commitment and loyalty are closely related and I desire a stable
relationship, loyalty is one of my highly valued traits I look for.
I also highly value the importance of having a strong desire to listen to each other. Misty K.
Hook and colleagues suggest that intimacy includes of self-disclosure, sharing both the facts of
our lives and our deeper feelings (Strong and Cohen, 2014, pg.147). The first step to getting this
is to have a desire to listen. If theres a desire to listen to each other than it will most likely
happen. Making the traits of being best friends and having loyalty easier and more enjoyable.
Lastly I want my mate to be hardworking. I have lots of respect for hardworking people because
it shows discipline and self-control. Which are key to having a successful life. And being around
someone who is hardworking also makes me work the same way . So the importance of hard
work is highly valued by me along with similarity, friendship, loyalty and a desire to listen.

Reference List
Strong, B, and Cohen, T. F. (2014). The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimacy, Friendship,
and Love (12th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.