always already

THERE

poetry & design by B. Merkur

1
 TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Chapter 1
Always | poems of yearning, resolving to set off on a journey 5
Dedicated to my loving mother
who has encouraged my work
Chapter 2
from Day 1.
Already | poems of engaging challenge, pursuing a path 49

Chapter 3:
There | poems of epiphany, recognizing the journey itself is the goal 87

2 3
 ALWAYS
His ministering angels ask of each other:
Where is the place of His glory that we
may praise Him?
from the Musaf prayer
 T H E R E
T H E R E

voice of fire
immersed
in lava tears

if only i
were there
6 7
 air charged with thunder
thorn bush calls incessantly
the burning sand

8
 I... I CANT
touch
I cant touch
it simmers within
yet distant, at the margin

breathe
I cant breathe
too much smoke, too much weed
I see the forest, not the trees

stand
I cant stand
up to my neck in sand
but I survived a crash land

11
 daunting pale
stormswept palm a catapult
skipping stones

charred catharsis
soundboard martyr narcissus
lists scars downs glasses
12 13
ART LIKE SIN
Paints runn ebb flow
Saaints come and d go
Sun reignss for the day
Prostraates to the shore
Moon ray riings glow
Van Gogh frames show
Fire voice glows
In a geodesic dome
Paint my home
Witth the brush of Rothko
Kidd pain
nts liike Pollock
Driips paint on the floor
(Though his name draws more)
Gaugin girls show
Watcha wanna know
Unmask Picasso
Duchampss urinal
Stank ammonia
Can you rank Mondrian
With Rem mbrandt and Rubin??

Provocative like sin

And so they win

14 15
UNSPOKEN
the scream of angels
brevity drawn too close to the holy
rules oh how they tremble
broken

16 17
 mountain face covered
by the folds of a prayer shawl
fresh pools at its feet

18 19
 DYING TO ATTEND
Now, lets see... What about next Tuesday
When is there time for just you and me? Or Sunday afternoon?
Shall we plan a summer vacation? Im dying from now to then
Lets look when Im free. I dont mean to be rude

INSIDE Oh, Im busy this summer Im dying this evening

insatiable I have a date penciled in From morning straight through
ineffable Im meeting my Maker No time for anything else
open And Im dying to attend Its all I can do

Maybe something sooner then Im busy, booked solid

Like the beginning of June? Every day penciled in
Oh, I have something penciled in Im meeting my Maker
Im dying then too And Im dying to attend

20 21
 pause for reflection
still until the next drop sets
off ripples tremors

22 23
MORAL COLLAPSE
apocalypse
eclipse
lapse

underground shelter
a quaking distant menace
huddling in prayer
24 25
 gesticulating
tribal masks contain a much
more savage fury

26 27
 waiting for the thaw
bones cracked open licks his paws
tastes his tongue hunger

28 29
SUFFERING
solvent
salve
absolves

slow roasting spit

searing flesh in a pit
once a happy child

30 31
 WARRIOR
tempestuous
circumstance
poise

TELEPORTAL
black hole
attach case
brings me places
leaves no trace
opens worlds
takes no space
closes up
to save face

attach case
attached to my wrist
my black hole
I cannot resist

32 33
 ATTRIBUTING FREEDOM
Beleaguered legions weary from war
Some without limbs, some lacking more
Hunkered in bunkers near the enemys core
Fearless in the face of gore

Ruins of the wounded stifling groans

Witness to horrors too horrid to be known
Scars mar their insides much more than is shown
A sacrifice they must own

Wounded warriors in hospital corners

Names of the deceased released by the coroner
Politicians take polls of the plight of the mourners
Promise a peaceful tomorrow

Maimed men with metals reminisce at reunions

Renewed with pride in place of confusion
Denuded at night by nightmare intrusions
Romantics pen pacts of collusion

XENOPHOBIA
Diplomats pat backs to uproot a coup
urban Aghast at the past, what theyve asked them to do
turban Plastic poppies worn by proxy for the forlorn few
banned Attribute their freedom to you
34 35
 MIRROR
RED GREEN DANCING SCREEN
DARTING EYES TIGHTENING TIES silver
IMPULSE ON THE RISE foils
vision

36 37
LOVE TAPS
Cozy bed
Siren in my head
An alarming noise
Familiar voice
Waking to taps
A GLITCH
I lay like lead Engines hissing
Bright like trumpets Be back in a jiffy
To awake the dead He wont even miss me

A personal refrain Dont touch the stick

Rings in my brain Its dangerous
He listens
Calling my name...
Calling my name... Locks click
Better be quick
Try not to panic

Hes holding his hands to his ears scared and sick

A glitch in the system
Sound switched on at full emission

Im so sorry I did this

Petrified lips speak volumes in silence
If only my embrace could undo the trauma and violence
38 39
 head bowed eyes low
hands clasped together in front
bondage cel

their ruddy mouths laugh

pale flesh dance between the legs
of the golden calf

40 41
 RED ALERT
my words r urs
just call me sir
thought blurs in slurs
ALARM I dont think think; im sure
empty well, as it were
mug
nightcap rest assured
I wont be interred

as you may have inferred

this is a red alert

42 43
HART OF TEN
Penultimate
No worse
Better to be last
Than second to first

This pen, my mate

Solid state
Ready aim
And just wait

A hart of ten grazes

Doe-eyed gazes steps in heat
Stares downwind tiger crouches
And leaps into my crosshairs will kill to get her

44 45
 soft steps careful touch
presses back bears shoulder
exposing his wound

46 47
 LREAD
We must transform pain into action and
tears into growth
the Lubavticher Rebbe

48 49
 A CURE

to love
to live
to give
the highest bid
a n y t h i n g
anywhere
everything

50 51
 blanched towering tree
roots claw and clutch the earth
harnessing shadows

52 53
 sifting shifting dunes
emerging from the ruins

a child a princess

54 55
 UP TO ME
round little window
squinting snow
bright fluffy skies
rubs his eyes
yawns and sighs

I know I wont die

though I have sinned
turbulence lies
beneath the bed of clouds
I recline in

I am upright
worthy to land
I am loved by somebody
who looks out of a round little window
someone who looks up to me
56 57
 BREVITY

braving
AIRBORNE
air
a
parent
breathes
easier

gravity

bareback
58 599
 standing beneath
a menacing canopy
respectful distance
60 61
NEXT TIME THERES A WIND
I spat in the wind
And thats a sin
Cuz much to my chagrin
It struck someones chin

Dont see how to begin

kite free in the breeze
To be forgiven
skids along takes root in trees
To make it right again
tugged tight takes flight
To make it a win

I guess Ill keep my spit in

Next time theres a wind

62 63
 HOMO SAPIEN
A man can bend
Make amends
Lift his head
And stand straight again

chimpanzee in genes
struts and teases laughs and preens
thumbs down pockets pen
64 65
 wild and adept
statuesque regal the cheetah
purrs by the throne

666 67
 REBELLIOUS SON
A round, refrain
Planets round his brain
Mobile turnstile
Circle single file
Clicking clockwork
He pedals and jerks
Solar system hovers
Kicks off covers
Reaches for the stars
Bumps into Mars
Chuckles with mirth
And clutches the Earth
TADA!
Magic wand The sun and the rest
Fascinates Ever bow to the west
Obfuscates
Sleight of hand
A rabbit can vanish
In its cage eating cabbage

And now for my next and final feat

If everyone would please stay in their seat
To much applause and cheer
I will make this bull disappear
68 69
 dark hills surge
rise like whitecaps
distant crest

70 71
 night sky
availed of its thunder
hilltop accolade

BALANCE
breathtaking
precipice
breeze

73
 thousands of facets
behold the garden flowers
tongue laps nectar

fanned by their wings

queen bee basks in glory
her sisters lie dead
75
 snow blankets the field
immeasurable azure
immaculate

76 77
 eyes slit leather mitt
sun tease branches trees
forever twilight

78 79
 THE INVISIBLE MAN
FUTILE RITUAL BATH
Here lies the invisibllee maan
the poor man showers
as if it matters This stone marks hiss rem
mainss where you stand
d
his garments tatters
He reached out to holld you oh how hee tried
d
hardly smell like flowers
He waved his hand
ds befo
efore yo
ourr eyes

Not even a blink;; you waalked stra

strai
aight through

Now sh
hovels are stiilll, respect is due

But low and behold

So sub
btle yet so bold

As thee mou
urn
ners drift by in single file

He clutches the earth and smiles

80
 phoenix enthroned
crowned in petals in flames
fingers beckon

82 83
GHOST TOWN
rural
funeral
unattended
84 85
 THERE
When G-d returns the captives of Zion,
we will have been as dreamers ... Then
they will say among the nations, G-d has
done greatness with us, we will be filled
with joy.
Psalms 126

86 87
two shovels stand
pressed into snow nearby
angel impressions

88 89
fish turn toward
the current sends em flapping
fresh catch for black bears

90 91
NOT ESPECIALLY
apostrophe s
possessive at best
obsessive when pressed
a character nonetheless
with this Ive been blessed
a gift I possess
though I must confess
its used under duress

land in autumn leaves

gathers her up in his arms
and drifts off again
92 93
 AURA
phonetics
linguistic
harmonics

94 95
 IN THE SHADOW OF A GLACIER
O glacier patient sway
Nothing mortal in your way
Ancient rhythm primordial play
Did you cover ground today?
Poets pine for words to say
What only silence gives away

Under the shadow of endless day

I fill my lungs and pray

96 97
 rain patters rooftops
streams spill out to the lane
stomping puddles

hunched wrinkled tree

a pile of autumn leaves
sneaker laces sway

98 99
 waves of cloud cascade
over a fortress of ice
reaching heavenward

100 101
 ancient turtle lives
a hundred-year trek to sea
left to prey in sand

102 103
 blossoms vie for view
onshore ocean breeze an inferno of branches
soft lines of the horizon upstream iris reign
lotus petals breathe

104 105
 radiant plumage
glorious victory
erupts
I WILL AGAIN
a baby step
a perfect pool
a school of fish
a rainbow swimming
a palette mixing
a prism passing
a glimpse from afar

a lightning thunders
a window shudders
a crystal shatters
a moment matters
a child stutters
a mother yawns
a new day dawns

I will dive into this pool again

I will take your hand
I will

106 107
 the whisper of mist
magentas pale with distance
icebergs keep secrets

108 109
 MESSIAH
clandestine
destined
dynasty

ABSENCE
see
vacant
seat

110 111
 A SIGN

I stand up here against the wall I was their banner of pride

The sun beats down upon me A sign of hope, a wonder.
While l wait.
But perhaps this fate is more heroic
The color has long since What good comes easy under the sun?
Been blanched from my face I am a weathered fortress
My features are practically indiscernible A hard-earned medal
Like a fading memory A sign of perseverance
Who will recognize me? Suffering, merit.
I am a sign.
A TIME TO TEACH
I stand up here against the wall
There was a time The sun beats down upon me a mother begging
I blazed in glory While I wait. a doctor injecting
My countenance dimmed the sun a newborn struggling
Masses paraded before me ten nurses running
a father pleading
praying beseeching
little knows he
its just doctor teaching
112 113
 thousand-mile journey
peaks turn valleys always
already there

114 115